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aprilsrant · 3 years

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Start Over | Oliver Wood x Slytherin!Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY: (Y/N) has anger issues and a bad reputation that follows. Oliver seems to be the only one who hasn’t been on the receiving end of her outbursts and there might be a hidden reason for it.

WORD COUNT: 2,3k.

WARNINGS: Marcus Flint being an idiot and a missoginy brat, it’s kind of angsty towards the end. Maybe a curse word or two. There is a fight and a duel too. (If I miss any, let me know!)

REQUEST: can’t find it, but yes, this was requested.

A/N: This took me so long and I’m so sorry, but for some reason I couldn’t get this finished. Hope you enjoy it! Like, reblog or leave comment if you like, feedback is always appreciated!!

Also, I made the reader have a holly wand because details are important sometimes.

English is not my first language, there could be mistakes!

Gif is not mine!!

MASTERLIST.

For whatever stupid, possibly misogynist, reason, Marcus Flint never allowed girls to tryout for the Slytherin Quidditch Team, not even when he, and everyone else present, knew of their talent and how much it would benefit them. Now more than ever, with that Harry Potter kid catching every single Snitch flying round him, Flint’s team needed new members. And members that actually knew how to play and not those who would pay their way in.

Once again, (Y/N) was waiting in the stands for the Slytherin Captain and the whole group attempting to grab themselves a spot. Arriving before them gave her an “advantage” and that was not being completely disregarded the minute Flint saw her in the midst of the line up following him like some kind of lost puppys.

With nothing else to do than just stand round the edge of the Quidditch Pitch, (Y/N) looked up and watched as a few Gryffindors threw the Quaffle towards one of the three hoops. She didn’t even know why people kept trying out to be a Chaser in Wood’s team when the current three were the best they had. And they were all women. Who would have thought that girls could play that well, right?

(Y/N) didn’t know why she continued to insist when she was aware that Flint would never let her be on the team. Maybe because it was her last year, or because she had a tiny spark of hope inside of her that something, pretty much a miracle, would happen and the boy’d change his mind, finally acknowledging that (Y/N) was better than the two Slytherin beaters together.

“What are you doing here, (Y/L/N)?,” the voice of the Slytherin Captain brought her back from the train of thoughts. Glancing towards the Pitch, she realised that it was empty, the only Gryffindor there was Oliver Wood, seating in the opposite set of stands with a notebook and a pencil in his hand. Upon seeing Flint and the trail of Slytherins behind him, he rolled his eyes and quickly left his spot, steps faltering after hearing Marcus’s irritated tone. “I told you, multiple times may I remind you, that I don’t want girls in my team, and especially not those who want to be beaters.”

This was something she saw coming, of course, and she’d tried to assume it for the last couple of days every time the image of being rejected, again, would pop into her head, replaying the times were she had actually been rejected as if her own mind was trying to torture her.

She had also seen the other part coming, and she had tried to stop it. But in her defense, when Professor Snape interrogated her an hour later, Marcus Flint kind of deserved it.

“Why not, Flint? I’ve been trying to get in the team ever since you became Captain and decided I wasn’t good enough after our fourth year,” (Y/N) had said, voice raising after more words left her mouth. With her broomstick in hand, she stepped down the stands and marched towards him.

“You said it yourself, (Y/N), you weren’t, and still aren’t, good enough,” Marcus responded while shrugging his shoulders arrogantly and walking past her.

“I was good enough, you prick, I was better than just good enough and you fucking know it.” All of the group that had gathered to try out turned their heads in her direction when she started to scream, whispers and shared glances expectant of the outcome of the argument. Pushing a third year in front of her out of her way, she kept walking, stopping only after she was face to face with Marcus. “And how can you be so sure I’m not adequate? You haven’t even let me fly around the Pitch for the last two years.”

Ignoring her, Flint commanded the two boys carrying the box full of equipment to leave it on the floor and start to warm up.

“Can you… Can you, please, let me try this one time?,” (Y/N) whispered, burying her pride and dignity in the same coffin after the word please escaped from her mouth.

“Now you’re begging, you are pathetic, (Y/L/N), and they say you’re supposed to be dangerous” the boy exclaimed, clearly enjoying seeing her so desperate. He walked towards her, his taller figure towering over the girl. “Let me tell you something. Both of us were on the team, right now one is the Captain and the other one… Well, I’m pretty sure you know your exact position in this whole thing. And that’s why you are not in my place, because you are not good enough.”

Her teeth, jaw and fists clenched at the same time, the rest of her body shaking slightly, lighting up on fire with every sentence Marcus sneered at her.

From a young age she had people question her, her interests and her decisions, even her place in the House of ambition, many believing the girl to be “too soft” at first. That had changed after the start of her second year. If they wanted her to be violent, rash and reckless, that’s what they got. Now, every time her name was mentioned around Hogwarts, whispers and rumours would be shortly behind. Most of the things people said about her were incorrect, not even close to the truth, but she accepted them anyways. She took each one of the rumours and turned them into her truth.

For some (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was on the right path to become a Dark Witch, a pureblood longing to take on Lord Voldemort’s place and rule over the Wizarding World, torturing muggleborns and blood traitors. To others, she was the Devil’s offspring in the flesh, waiting for the right moment to raise the forces of hell upon Hogwarts. And they were the ones speaking of her mental state while coming up with ridiculous theories. Nonetheless, she had to admit it was a new kind of entertainment seeing the first years getting warned about her, bombarding them with false information and stupid allegations. But the laughs she would have from it on her own company didn’t erase the loneliness and the solemn feeling of having no one.

Like the symbol of her house, (Y/N) was a creature of instinct. And like what people murmured about her, (Y/N) was also a creature of violence.

As only one can imagine, no one was shocked from the response Marcus Flint got. Not in words, or insults, which were regular, but in the form of a fist connecting with his cheek (although she had intended to hit the nose).

One would think anger makes people a better fighter, all that pent up rage coming from nowhere and lashing out against your opponent it’s more damaging to you than the person you are fighting. Now, this was not (Y/N)’s first fist fight but that didn’t mean she knew what she was doing. Every time she had punched someone it had happened in the midst of uncontrollable wrath growing, attaching itself to the girl’s body, controlling her limbs, numbing her mind.

For a moment she closes her eyes, one thought in her mind, vanishing as quickly as it appeared, — I did it. Again —. When (Y/N) opens them, she notices the change of scenario, or positions. She is no longer standing on her feet, she is several metres away from her housemate, the back of her body on the receiving end of the harsh floor; the loud beating of her heart thundering in her ears, almost giving her a headache, swallowing the spell Flint had used on her.

After rising from the grass, (Y/N) marches towards him, holly wand in her hand shooting hexes, barely missing its target. She’s about to whisper the Stunning Spell when someone from behind grabs her wrist, holding her back from trying to curse Marcus, whose responses are getting slower and scarcely protecting him. An arm sneaks around (Y/N)’s figure, distancing her from the Slytherin Quidditch Captain.

Her elbow moves almost instinctively and hits the person behind her in the stomach, the arm around her waist retreating fast enough for (Y/N) to cast a protection charm and petrify Marcus Flint.

Turning around, she sees none other than Oliver Wood, bending over his stomach with a hand clenching his right knee and gasping for air.

“What the bloody hell was that, Wood?”

“I was trying to help you!,” he manages to say while looking up at her.

“Help me? You were trying to stop me, you twat.”

“Exactly!,” Oliver shouts, making her move backwards, “Do you want to get yourself expelled, (Y/L/N)? Because if that’s what you want, you are doing an excellent job.”

She should have hexed him right there, no one else was on the Quidditch Pitch with them, except the handful of Slytherins and those weren’t the snitching types, but she didn't, surprising herself and everyone else watching them.

|||

Later that night, after finishing the horrendous detention Snape had put her in —reorganizing his entire cabinet claimed by suspicious ingredients and potions with terrible smells, making the small space smell like rotten eggs and the Gryffindor Quidditch robes after a rough match—, looking at the moon and the landscape surrounding Hogwarts from the Astronomy Tower, she thought about the reasons to why she hadn’t raised her wand, or fist, to face Oliver.

He wasn’t special. Yes, he was a great wizard, with problems in Potions and History of Magic, still quite good at Defensive spells but not that good to beat her if she was fully focused, he would be easy to defeat especially after Quidditch tryouts. So, why? Why did she just walk away?

“I knew I could find you here.”

(Y/N) turned around, quickly taking hold of her holly wand and raising it towards the tower’s entrance. The thundering in her chest calming, her breathing going back to its normal pace when she realised it wasn’t Sirius Black, the murderer that had escaped Azkaban and was said to have roamed through the castle.

“What are you doing here, Oliver?”, she addressed him once the moonlight illuminated his tall figure.

“I wanted to apologise,” the boy admitted, his voice faltered just like his approach, as if he was trying to make peace with a beast; as if he was telling a snake that his feet would not come close to its head, “for what I said earlier. It wasn’t fair because I know how you…”

“How I what? How I tend to react when I’m angry?,” (Y/N) interrupted, the hand holding her wand still facing Oliver, “don’t try to act like you know me.”

“But I used to,” he murmured.

Neither of them said anything, both of their minds desperately trying to find the right words, one to plead for forgiveness once again and the other to accept it if the plea ever escaped his mouth.

The distant sound of creatures soaring through the night sky and the flip of their wings was all they heard for minutes, minutes that had felt like hours; she would dare to say days if the sky wasn’t still dark, filled with bright stars circling a full moon.

“Why don’t we get to know each other all over again? We can start over, please.”

There it was.

And then it came.

“That’s such a great idea, Oliver!,” (Y/N) answered with a big smile on her face, the quick change of demeanour unsettling Oliver. They hadn’t talked in years but he was still amazed at how much he remembered of her, and how this didn’t mean any good. “We can get to know each other like all those years ago and then, you can abandon me like all those years ago”. The grin on her lips transforming into a scowl right after she pronounced the last part of her sentence.

“Why are you even here, Wood? You felt guilty and now you’re trying to make it go away? Or is it charity?,” the Slytherin kept ranting,” or better yet, someone challenged you to do this? I’m putting all my money on the Weasley Twins.

“N-No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Oliver explained while moving his hands and walking the final steps leading him to (Y/N),“ I just- I never- I, I never wanted this, I never expected it but everyone was talking about you and-and they were saying horrible things and…”

“And you believed them,” (Y/N) stated, turning around to stop facing him and his hurt expression,” I don’t blame you for doing it. It’s quite funny if you think about it.”

“What’s quite funny?,” his gaze still on her when he asked.

“Most of the things you and the rest of the school heard were invented by me, so people would just stop bothering me,” she pretended to confess only to the stars, for if she didn’t, she would never admit it to him,” you can say I planned my entire doom. And it’s quite funny because, in the end, you still believed me.”

“You could have told me, (Y/N). Why didn’t you?”

“You believed the rumours, I’m sure not the craziest ones though, but that tells me that you thought I was capable of actually doing all the terrible things I said about myself.”

“I’m sorry, I am, (Y/N), truly.”

“Sorry doesn’t mend it,” she murmured, now forcing herself to look him in the eyes and act as if the pain never happened; as if she hadn’t missed his company and his random, permanently out of place Quidditch facts.

“I know, but it’s everything I have right now and I hope you can forgive me one day.”

“I have already forgiven you, Oliver, but I was too proud to reach you.”

“Typical you, (Y/N). I should have expected it.”

A small smile formed in her lips and for a moment she forgot their broken friendship, the reputation that had become her shadow and the future awaiting after Hogwarts. It was only them, (Y/N) and Oliver, with the moon glowing down on their faces and the feeling of being eleven year olds settling over their minds.

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adrenaline-roulette · 4 years

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Four Eighths

airing: Four x Eight (Reader) Word count: 4.5K + Warnings: Coarse Language, slight angst, character building (Four), he’s kinda redeemed for being such an ass in the last chapter! If this were a movie, there would be a shopping montage (Preferably with La Roux Bulletproof playing), also very reckless driving (Eight is a god damned bad ass!)

*Disclaimer, as promised this is a more lighthearted chapter, still with a slight bit of angst, but I feel like that’s just a given when it comes to 6 Underground fics!

Missed Chapters ONE, TWO and THREE.... Maybe read those first? Might help you understand what’s going on here!

Chapter Four: I'm having fun, don't put me down

The trailer door slammed shut behind you, as you stalked towards Five’s trailer, your wet hair being blown in all directions by the sudden gale which had picked up at base. You were mad, you were beyond mad, you were at the point of furious! “Who the fuck does Four think he is? He doesn’t have a fucking clue what I can do!” You snarl under your breath, not that it made any difference. You could’ve screamed the words from the top of your lungs, and you doubted anyone would hear you over the wind. As you rounded a corner, Five’s trailer came into view, her and Two sat on the steps leading inside, both looking up at you when your shadow cast across them. Your eyes were hidden behind a pair of heart shaped sunglasses, the cheerful eyewear masking the look of rage piercing your eyes. Plastering on a smile, you leant against the side of Five’s trailer, resting your clasped hands behind your back. “Sorry I took so long, sleep kinda happened.” You smirk.

Five waves you off, smiling softly. “No stress, if I were still a medical practitioner, I’d be yelling at you right now to go back to bed, and finish healing.”

“You do that anyway. Medical licence or no…” Two grins, earning a shove in the shoulder from Five.

“That’s beside the point! None of you actually have to listen to me when I tell you do something! When I wore a name badge and stethoscope, people would do exactly as I said!”

“Thanks Five, but really, I’m alright. I don’t need any more sleep. I feel fine.” You grin, feeling your anger slowly ebb away. Five eyes you from head to toe, as if she were expecting a mortal wound to appear somewhere on your person. “Seriously Five, it’s okay. I’m no more injured than I usually am after attacking the punching bag!”

At this, Five cracks a grin, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “Two, you’ve turned her into you! Next thing we know, Eight’ll be running around with a gunshot wound in her back, telling us all that she’s fine!”

“How is that possibly a bad thing?” Two gasps, looking between Five and you, a tiny smirk working its way onto her lips. “We need more people like me in the world, and I’m honoured that Eight is just that!”

“Besides, eight is divisible by two! So of course we’re going to end up like each other!” You laugh, kicking one foot up behind you, planting it firmly on the side of the trailer.

“By that logic then, eight is also divisible by four, would that make you and Four similar too?” Five grins. Your breath hitches in your throat, the last thing you want it to think about that arrogant Brit. No, you were nothing alike. You would never question someone’s place on a team before they’d had the opportunity to prove themselves.

“Definitely not. He and I are two very different people.” You answer almost too quickly, both Five and Two noticing your sudden shift in posture. Your back had gone pin straight, and your hands had moved to rest in front of you, fingers locking then unlocking over and over.

Two stands up, stepping over Five who was on the step below her. “Well, I don’t know about you, Eight. But I know that after a good fight, I always like to get a big meal. There’s a diner in town that serves pretty decent food. Ready to head on in?”

Pushing away from the trailer, you nod twice, smiling gently at Two. “That’s sounds great.”

“I’ll get the keys from One, I’ll meet you both at the car.” Five offers, closing her trailer door, and heading towards a shipping container. You were still learning where everything at base was, but if you remembered correctly, the one Five entered was the communal rec room. It was often where One and Seven could be found, battling it out in a game of pool.

*****

The silver McLaren 570S sped down the highway, going well over the speed limit, though considering that you had only passed three other cars the whole time, it didn’t much matter how fast you went. Two had offered to drive, as she claimed to know a short cut to the small town you were visiting, and as it was your first time leaving the base in weeks, Five had offered you sit in the passenger seat to take in the scenery, which you would’ve done had it not been blurring past you at a rate of knots. Eventually, the car slowed down as you entered a small populated town, driving through the quiet street at an acceptable speed. “Where are we stopping first? Shopping or lunch?” Two asks, turning to face Five in the backseat.

Five gazes out the window for a moment, contemplating her answer. “Lunch makes the most sense, it’s the right time for it…”

“I was thinking shopping first. If we eat later in the day, then we’ll have an actual excuse to not have to eat whatever Three makes for dinner tonight.” You offer, tilting your head to the side as you wait for a response.

Two chuckles, nodding her head. “I may like Three, but his cooking is atrocious.”

“Shops first, it is then!” Five grins, as Two drives further down the street, until she pulls into a parking space. The three of you climbing out, before instantly being hit with a sticky, humid breeze, making you all wish you had remained in the air-conditioned car.

The two women lead you down the street, as you look at each of the shops you pass. A few small clothing stores, a grocer, chemist, realtor, arcade, cinema, three diners, one Italian restaurant, and finally you come to a home décor store. “They don’t have much, but it’s enough to make things a little more comfortable.” Five offers with a smile as she pushes the door open for you all.

Inside, the store was set up in multiple different sections. One for bathroom, another for children’s rooms, kitchens, lounge rooms, and of course master bedrooms. Moving further into the store, you leave Two and Five to look through the lounge section, as you make a beeline for the bedroom portion of the store. The store offered just about everything you could possibly need for a bedroom, though as you weren’t in the market for a new bed, or furniture at all for that matter, you were left with only a small portion of the display area to look through. There was a tall floor lamb which you select, along with a matching smaller lamp that you intended to use by your bed. Next came bed sheets, the ones you had been using since you arrived were clearly hand me downs, not that there was an issue with that, but you did want to new ones. Finding a few sets that you liked, and also hoped would fit your mattress, you move on to the more decorative side of things. A string of twinkling fairy lights was added to your basket, along with a cream coloured rectangular rug. As you looked further around, you came across decorative throw cushions, which you quickly snatched up five of, all in different colours and patterns, only to then find a throw blanket which matched one of the five, which you found yourself needing!

Making your way back to the front of the store, you found your travel companions causing a ruckus in the kids room section, where they were attempting to build a fort with the few items available to do so. The store clerk looked as if he was having an aneurism, though he was unable to say anything that would make the women stop. “If only One could see you both now.” You giggle, heading over with your arms and basket full of décor.

Two pokes her head up from behind their fort, smirking at you. “Why do you say that?”

“When he was telling me about all of you after we first met, he told me I had to behave well around you two, because you were the adults of the team.”

Five bursts into laughter, as Two joins in with her own giggles. “Fuck One, he sees what he wants to see when it comes to us! He wouldn’t notice if we walked around with fake moustaches drawn on!” Five gasps, shaking her head fondly.

“One time, during a briefing, Seven didn’t show up, but instead stuffed a jacket with paper, and blew up a balloon and put it under the jackets hood. He set it up perfectly, it actually looked like someone was asleep on the table! Unless you got too close, then it was obvious what was going on. One got through the whole meeting, and only when everyone stood to leave, and the fake Seven didn’t, did he notice something was wrong!” Two has a fond look in her eyes as she tells you her story. “If he thinks we’re the adults, then that’s fine, but we know the truth!”

A part of you longs to stay with the women, and help them build their fort, but the other part of you feels the urge to rescue the poor store clerk. Turning to face him, you smile kindly. “Hi there, could I grab these all please?”

The young boy blinks in shock, tearing his gaze away from the two grown women destroying the store. “Uh- sure! Just follow me.”

You do as he says and follow him to the register, he looks no older that fifteen or sixteen perhaps, and clearly has had no experience with dealing with a situation like this. As the youth reads out your total, you smile and pull out the credit card from your purse. Two had handed it to you before you left, saying that is was One’s card, and was only to be used for the essentials. When you had asked if shopping for your tailer counted as an essential, she had looked directly in your eyes and said, that home decorating was the only essential. “Can you add an extra 70 bucks to the total please?”

The boy blinks at you in surprise, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Why’d you wanna do that?”

You shrug lightly, twirling the card between your fingers. “Because I feel bad for the mess my friends have made. Figure this might make up for it a bit.”

He doesn’t question you again and does as told, presenting you with your new total, to which you happily pay. By the time the small items had been bagged up, you were left with two lamps in large boxes, and a rolled-up rug to try and figure out how to carry out to the car. “Oi ladies! Leave the poor shop alone and come gimme a hand here!” You yell across the store, hearing the giggling from the two women cease.

*****

Loading your purchases into the car had been one hell of a hassle, while the McLaren was built for speed, it was certainly not built with the intention of ever using the trunk! After much swearing, and the threat of returning the rug, the three of you had managed to get everything safely inside, slamming the trunk closed, with the vow to not open it again until you were back at base. Next, came a very late lunch. It was well after three when you entered the diner, only a handful of other patrons there at the odd time of your arrival. A middle aged woman with flaming red hair directed the three of you to a booth at the back of the diner, handing out plastic menu’s. You all placed your orders, heeding Five’s warning and staying well away from the nachos. “Four had them once, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so unwell…” She had advised, to which although the thought of Four being sick did spark joy in you, you would rather not find out if it was a one-off thing or not.

Once your meals were handed out, conversation flowed freely between the three of you, no question was off limits now that you were away from the base and One’s prying eyes. “Alright Eight, I’ve been trying to figure it out all afternoon, but I just can’t. So you’re going have to answer it for me. What’s the go with Four? When we mentioned him back at base, I genuinely thought you were about to cry, or scream. Maybe even both…” Five begins, dabbing the corner of mouth with a napkin.

You pray that the ground will open up and swallow you whole, at least then you’d have an excuse for not answering. Of course, they had noticed your reaction earlier, you’d never been good at hiding your emotions, your dad used to warn you to never play poker! Both as an anti-gambling campaign, but also because he knew that if you did, everyone would know straight away if you were bluffing or not. You look across at Two, who although has her mouthful, looks just as curios as Five does. Sighing deeply, you rest your elbows on the table, hissing quietly as you press against a bruise you didn’t know you had. “I’m just tired of the way he’s been treating me is all.”

“Wow, that was so informative. I feel so enlightened! Thank you so much for sharing such a heart wrenching story with us, I know that must’ve been hard for you.” Two grumbles, glaring at you over her meal. You had hoped that maybe they would accept such a basic offer, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“It’s just that he’s been ignoring me since I arrived! Every time I try to talk to him, he just pretends he can’t hear me, and then there’s the times when I’m talking to someone else! He walks right up to us, and just starts talking over the top of me, no apology or anything!”

Five clears her throat, looking at you softly. “I don’t think he means anything by it Eight. He was like that with all of us when we first met him, he just seems to take a while to warm up to new people is all.”

At that, you can’t help but laugh, causing the two women to look at you in surprise. Out of all the reactions you could’ve had to Five’s comment that was not one they had expected. “Is there more that you’re not telling us?” Two presses on, placing her fork down and giving you her full attention now.

Your fingers comb through your hair, pushing the sweaty strands away from your scalp. “I uh- overheard him talking, or rather shouting with One today.”

“Bloody hell, those two fight like cats and dogs sometimes, you’ll get used to it eventually.” Two shrugs, leaning back to press herself against the booth’s chair more comfortably

You shake your head, breathing out deeply. “No, it’s not that. Christ I couldn’t give a flying fuck whether they scream at each other all the time or not, what I do care about though, is the way he talks about me when I’m not around.” You take a sip of your ice water, the cool glass rather soothing against your palm. “He was questioning One as to why I’m here. He thinks that what I do is pointless, and that I shouldn’t be a part of the team. Apparently, you don’t need a hacker, and that having me around is a liability. Then he accused the fight today of being a fluke, basically saying the Three was an easy take down for me! Oh, and then there was this whole thing about you needing a driver instead of me, and when One said that the team would continue taking it in turns of being the getaway driver, he basically said that I wouldn’t be able to drive a getaway vehicle even if I wanted to!” By the time you finish you feel fresh tears clawing at the backs of your eyes. You squeeze your lids shut, until you feel the need to sob subside.

With your eyes shut, you don’t see the looks exchanged between Two and Five, who were conducting a silent conversation, with you none the wiser. “Eight, I’m not trying to excuse Four’s behaviour, or his comments. But there’s something you should know.” Five sighs, resting a comforting hand over your shoulder, smiling gently when you look at her beside you. “Four, well he’s been part of the team for a while, he joined well before I did, so he’s come to know a fair few people in his time with the Ghosts. By now, you’ve probably realised that there’s a number missing in our team, Six. He was with us for our first mission in Florence, but things didn’t end well, and he didn’t make it. Four and Six, they were practically joined at the hip, despite what One always told us, warning us to never get too close to each other, they did anyways. They were best friends! Six was our driver, and when he was with us, you could always find the two of them dicking around, going for joy rides, just being overall stupid young boys, but at least they were having fun. When Six died, it hit Four like a ton of bricks, for weeks he kept to himself, he disappeared for nearly two weeks, none of us had any idea where he went, we still don’t. But then, he suddenly returned, and begun acting as if nothing had changed. Even though, in his world, everything had.”

A crease forms between your brows as you watch Five, tears are brimming in her eyes, but just like you, she’s too stubborn to let them fall. “Since then, Four’s been, different. He puts on a brave face, but we all know that there’s something eating him from the inside out. But he refuses to talk about it, and we can’t force him to. One uses it to his advantage, reminding us that this is why we don’t form attachments, but we don’t listen to him. Forming attachments keeps us human, even if it hurts sometimes.”

You blink slowly, taking in Five’s words, a deep pang of sympathy pounding in your chest. All of what you had just been told, it made sense to why Four was so quick to defend Six when he was arguing with One earlier. “I get that he’s been hurt, and that maybe he doesn’t know how to deal with the loss of Six. But why is he taking it out on me?”

This time, it’s Two who answers you, drumming her long fingers on the table. “He’s doing exactly what One has been telling us to do for years, not making attachments. He would rather have you hate him, than to get close to you, and have something happen. He can’t do the same with the rest of us, he’s known us too long now. But you? You’re new, he doesn’t know anything about you, and if he can keep it that way, then neither of you will be hurt if another mission ends badly.”

“But that doesn’t explain why he was talking about me like that to One! If he was saying it directly to me, then sure, I’d understand because yeah, I really am close to hating him after those comments. But when he was talking to One, he didn’t know I was there!”

“You didn’t have to be there. Gossip travels quickly when there’s only seven of us around, secrets don’t stay secret for long. One way or another we all find everything out. Four knows this as well as the rest of us do. Anything that he says to One about you, will eventually get around base until it reaches you. This time, the process just skipped a step, and went straight to you, before the rest of us found out.” Two offers with a tired shrug.

You pick at the remainder of your meal, mulling over this new information, unsure of how to process all of it at once. The table grows quiet, the three of you all lost in your own thoughts. “So Four doesn’t hate me really…. And, he doesn’t think that I have no place in the team?”

“I can’t guarantee anything, but I’d bet you fifty bucks that that’s exactly right. He doesn’t know you; he can’t hate you.” Five laughs, and you feel some tension leave your shoulders, finally feeling somewhat relaxed for the first time in weeks.

Biting down on your bottom lip, you gaze across at Two, then at Five, both of whom raise their eyebrows, they could see the cogs in your mind turning, but they had no idea what plan you were formulating. “I may not be able to do much to change this situation. But the least I can do is prove him wrong.”

“What’ve you got in mind Eight?” Two smirks, sitting up straight and pushing her plate to the side of the table.

*****

If you thought the McLaren was travelling fast on your way into town, then the drive out meant you were practically flying! The leather steering wheel was soft against your hands as you swerved in between cars, paying little to no mind as to which lane of the freeway you were legally supposed to be driving on. “Jesus Christ Eight! Would you mind not killing us please?” Two gasped, as you narrowly avoided a head on collision with a semi as you overtook a Winnebago, despite her vocal protests at your erratic driving, the sparkle in her eyes proved that she was enjoying the ride just as much as you were.

Five however was not having a grand time, and looked to be on the verge of carsick. “Eight, there are breakable things in the back of this car! Please slow down! Think of the lamps!”

You look at Five through the rear-view mirror, raising your eyebrows behind you heart glasses. “Why have the speedometer go this high if you can’t drive that fast?” You challenge, pressing down on the accelerator further, the engine revving in a delicious purr.

Whereas on the way into town, even with Two speeding as she was, the trip had still taken forty-five minutes. This time around, you were easily halfway back to base, and had only been driving for fifteen minutes. “Fucking hell Eight, we’re supposed to be dead! What happens if the police pull you over? How do you explain that three dead women are currently driving at a highly illegal speed down a freeway?” Five tries again, though it only causes you to laugh, even Two was finding the whole ordeal rather humorous.

Watching Five in the mirror, you see her open her mouth, ready to ask you to slow down again. Before she has the chance, you flick the radio on, the opening psychedelic tune of Devin Townsend’s True North urging you to speed along further. The music soaks into your entire being, and as you drive, singing along, you find yourself not caring what anyone thought of you in this very moment. You were truly living your best life, and there were genuinely no consequences for doing so.

*****

Four had once again cornered One, or so he thought. Four was under the impression, that if he yelled loud enough, that One would listen to what he had to say and would kick you out of the team. For three weeks now, he’d been trying to think of different ways to prove that you weren’t a good fit with the rest of the Ghosts, but nothing he said seemed to deter One’s line of thought. None of them had a bloody clue what the next mission was, but according to One, you would be necessary. Four failed to see how, there was nothing you could do, that the others couldn’t. Sure, they would need a bit of training to get there, and to be able to get things done as quickly as you did, but he was positive that he could hack into a museum’s security cameras just as quickly as you supposedly had!

“I’m not having this discussion with you again Four.” One groaned, rubbing at his forehead with his thumb and index finger.

“But you’re not bloody listening! What if she double crosses us? Instead of breaking into a computer to steal the information we need, what if she sends it to someone else? Or gives away our location and plans?”

“Why? Why would she do that? Who would she send them to? According to all official documents, she’s dead. Just like the rest of us. There’s literally no one out there who would make a deal with a dead person, just on the off chance they actually delivered on their promises!”

Four frowned deeply, his brows furrowed and scar pulsing in his frustration. Why was this so difficult? Why couldn’t One just listen to him for once? All he wanted, truly, was for you to be safe, and to return to your old life! As glamourous as One had likely talked up the life of a Ghost, it truly wasn’t all it was cracked up to be! No one else should be subjected to this life, there was too much pain and death involved with this way of living, and you had no reason to experience it.

From behind the two men, a cloud of dust could be seen rapidly approaching, red clouds of dirt billowing around until they parted in lieu of the speeding McLaren. One moment it was miles away from the men, and the next, he could feel the heat radiating from the car as it breezed past him, before performing a donut, and coming to halt with the bonnet facing him. The tyre marks in the dirt showed just how perfect a stop the car had come to, there was no fishtailing, just clean tracks. Five was the first to emerge from the car, pressing a hand to cover her eyes, while the other rest atop the car door. Two pulled herself out next, grinning between him and One, before turning and popping the trunk. Finally, out you came, from the driver’s side no less, a cocky grin plastered to your lips as you waved at One, raising an arched eyebrow up at Four.

“Jesus Eight, I said you could drive home! Not warp us here!” Five groaned, as she helped you and Two collect things from the trunk of the car.

“Right, so who the fuck taught you to drive like that then?” One yelled out, earning a grin from you in his direction.

“When you run perpetually late like I do, and go to school on the opposite side of the city, you learn how to navigate traffic pretty damned quickly.” You quip back, slamming the trunk closed, and pocketing the keys. You, Two and Five all making your way towards your trailer.

“Don’t. Don’t fucking say it One.” Four warns, holding up a hand to the grinning man before him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about? I wasn’t going to say anything. Especially not anything about how impressive Eight’s driving skills are.” One shrugs, eyebrows raised in a look of utter innocence.

Four Eighths Taglist (If you want to be added just let me know) @not-the-cleavers @jinxfirebolt18902 @sj-thefan @softnorris

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Chapter Five out now

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constantlyirksome · 5 years

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Review: Euphoria’s First Season Finale was Aesthetically Stunning but Narratively Clunky.

Going into the Euphoria season one finale we had a lot of questions: Would Fezco get arrested? Would Maddy and Nate get back together, or would he finally get what was coming to him? Would #Rules make it? Unfortunately, due to the episode's reliance on non-linear storytelling, we left with more questions than answers.

The Halloween episode used a similar narrative structure, the party was the centre of it and all the other scenes were flashbacks, in the end coming together in a satisfying way. Unfortunately, it didn’t work well at all this episode, while the core of the episode is the school dance (a classic hotbed for teenage drama) it’s not clear when all the other scenes occurred in relation to it, end it ended on multiple cliff-hangers.

Let’s talk about Nate and Maddy first. I have praised Jacob Elordi in the past because getting people to like a character is one thing, but to create and act out a character as loathsome as Nate takes talent. His key scenes with his father, Rue, and Maddy all had an incredible intensity and heat, he’s so convincing as a brute you wish that Rue’s fantasy, lighting Nate on fire and shooting him, was real.

He continues a lot of his patterns; first, he bullies Rue in a tense faceoff. Elordi and Zendaya have incredible rival chemistry, and as Nate sowed the seeds of doubt for Rue and Jule’s relationship, Rue threatened to burn his whole family down. He abused Maddy verbally and physically. The question of his and his father's sexuality popped up and honestly, that’s a thread I’m a little tired of. Internalized homophobia on that level, if they are gay, isn’t something I as a gay man care to watch.

Nate singlehandedly wins a football match but his father still berates him for not doing enough as a captain. Nate does what he does best, gets in his dads face, but his dad doesn’t back down and when they get into an uncomfortable physical confrontation where Nate is overpowered and breaks down completely. Like a child in a supermarket, he cries and thrashes and then begins hurting himself in his rage. This is a man who has gone through some serious emotional abuse, repression coupled with a genetic inflated ego, arrogance and violent misogyny. He was bound to explode, and he does so in such huge way I just have to applaud Elordi again. But the question is, was the tantrum before or after the dance?

Maddy did a lot of growing after being covered in the human manure that is Nate and decides she’s had enough.

“You’re abusive, psychopathic, and I hate the way you make me feel…” she says as they slow dance. I love Maddy, and this is an aspiring thing to see, a girl in the grips of an abusive relationship, who until now knew how sick it was but couldn’t leave, make the decision to cut it off. And props to her for trying to assure Nate that It’s Okay to Be Gay and that sexuality is a spectrum while he was screaming in her face. What an icon.

Cassey deals with her decision to terminate her pregnancy, weirdly McKay isn’t in the episode at all. At the dance, she says she never wants to fall in love again (honestly what a mood,) meaning they split up after she had her abortion, meaning either he is as shitty as every other man on the show or the show just didn’t know what to do with him. During her procedure she tunes out and listens to music, imagining herself ice-skating instead. It’s a beautifully shot moment, her on a blacked-out ice rink, completely alone, no McKay cheering her on. She does have her sister though, and at the scenes, for the dance they sit and laugh at other people which is always fun.

Kat got probably the only “happy” end to her story arc, finding Ethan on the dance floor, she realizes she can be the bad ass, confident, empowered woman she wants to be without being cruel, or shutting herself off emotionally. She finds a good middle ground and it’s very sweet to see her open up after so many episodes of her being so stoic.

Ethan delivers possibly the most romantic speech ever: “This is high school, will we last forever? Probably not. Someone will probably get hurt, but I’ll do my best to make sure that person is me.” What a cutie! Mazel Tov to the happy couple.

Fezco and Ashtray (just learned that’s what the little kid's name is) don’t get arrested, but he is still in trouble with drug dealer Mouse, whom he owns money to. His solution is to put on a ski mask and rob some guy, I’m unsure if this man is narratively relevant, or if he’s just rich. He’s got stacks of cash and prescription pills in a drawer so Fez gets lucky either way. When the guy pulls a gun, Fez proves how hard he really is, that Nate should be worried, and beats the guy in front of his kid. Fez has been toted as the best man on the show and it’s sad to say after that scene he probably still is. There’s something so likable about Fez and Angus Cloud that has you blaming the guy getting robbed for trying to be brave instead of blaming Fez for robbing him. Audiences perceptions around men these days are so warped, and standards are so low that characters like Fezco, who seems genuinely okay deep down, become the ones we’re drawn to. It’s weird, but I’m guilty of it too, because while he gives Mouse the money, Mouse spots blood on the bills and grabs his gun, leading the question, “does Fez get shot?” and I hoped to god he didn’t.

Finally our heroes Rue and Jules. Jules does Rue’s eye makeup, in a very similar way to how Anna did hers the last episode, and sings Anna’s praises, casually letting slip that she did sleep with the other girl. Later that night at the dance Rue finds her taking selfies and sending them to Anna. While Rue and Jules aren’t in a relationship, while Jules isn’t Rue's keeper, her sponsor, or her girlfriend it still came off kind of dickish. Jules deserves to be as free as she wants but she has never been good at communicating. She tells Rue that she loves her, and she wants to kiss her, (they do, it’s very steamy), and that she doesn’t want Rue to change… But when a sloppily planned escape to the city between the two of them falls through, Jules ends up leaving Rue behind, going back to Anna essentially.

Rue and Jules were connected and were in a lot of ways perfect for each other, outsiders with the same sick views of the world, but in so many ways they weren’t right for one another, between Rue's addiction/sobriety and Jule’s lifestyle there were few ways were you could see it working out but it was still sad to see, and the way it happened didn’t make a terrible amount of sense. Jules escapes with Rue, but ditches her even though it was Rue’s plan? And the worst part is that that’s what Nate predicted would happen when he was fighting with Rue.

We end on a mishmash of scenes with Rue, Jules and her family, good flashbacks, and a flashback to a fight with her mother that was so bad Rue was kicked out of home, but when did this all happen? One flashback clues us onto the fact that Rue’s red sweatshirt was actually her dads, but other than that the scenes are confusing. Back in the present Rue puts on her dad's hoodie and snorts a line of something, officially falling off the wagon. The question, made less clear after the coming scenes, is did she die? Many people believe she’s only able to know everyone’s business every episode because she dies.

Then, bizarrely it turns into a music video of sorts, if not a trippy one. You think Rue is revisiting more memories as she stumbles in a drug-induced state (Zendaya’s physicality here was fantastic) as her family ignores her, but then her dad is there, and then suddenly she’s in a sea of dancers and she’s (Zendaya) singing Labrinth's All For Us. (I already have it saved on Spotify talk about a BOP.)

It’s beautifully shot, choreographed and performed. The whole episode was beautiful, from the girls dance outfits, to the makeup, Cassey’s skate scene, and then the end dance. But it speaks to one of the biggest issues I have with Euphoria, which is if you take away the cinematography, great acting, the costuming and the killer soundtrack, Euphoria is narratively up and down. This episode was confusing, highlighted by the absurd ending. With season two confirmed more focus needs to go into planning for the future and making sure everything lines up. Speculation is Rue might be dead, or near dead but she only did one line of something so I think she’s fine, but alive or not the finale might have been so much more satisfying if things were a tiny bit clearer.

#euphoria #euphoria hbo #zendaya coleman #rue bennett #hunter schafer #jules vaughn

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danyka-fendyr · 6 years

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Scar Tissue Chapter 3: Joke’s On Two

A/N: This chapter is a little short, but it says what I wanted to for the story, so I guess that’s okay. Everything up to this point has been set-up, so I’m excited to move on to the real story next chapter! Tagging @writingtheworks again.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, mentions of drug abuse and death.

Jason Todd was tired. He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep. This would have been a worse issue, if not for the girl lying across his chest. Rorie was sound asleep, curled into his side, her chest moving softly up and down with the motions of her breath. Her body was warm and soft against his, so different from the hundreds of fists he’d felt hit his body.

It hadn’t taken Rorie long to grow comfortable with the concept of dating Jason. While she was reserved and shy at school, she was close and comfortable at home, always touching him in some way, holding his hand, an arm over his shoulder, a kiss on his cheek with a bright red blush to match. Her kisses were rare no matter what, as shy and serious as she could be with them, but cuddling was a constant presence outside of the spotlight of Gotham Academy.

On the other hand, Jason took every opportunity to flaunt her in front of everyone at school and was a little more blush inclined in his own home. The girls at school knew well now that Jason Todd was off limits, his heart completely captured by the girl he recited poetry to in the hallways while she stared at him with eyes that spoke of murder and blood and rage, and whom he liked to push up against lockers and kiss softly until she was so flustered she couldn’t be mad anymore. If it weren’t for Jason’s good grades and his convenient adopted parentage, he probably would have been sent to detention or at least severely scolded multiple times for his reckless behavior.

Jason ran his fingers gently through Rorie’s hair, and she mumbled in her sleep, arching into him. Jason knew that sometimes, Rorie talked in her sleep. Most of what she said didn’t make sense, but it gave Jason the impression that she was having nightmares. He never asked about it in the morning though. He understood the desire to keep your nightmares to yourself.

Tonight was different though. Rorie seemed distressed, brows furrowing, hair sticking to her head with sweat. Jason tried to quiet her, gently mumbling innocent sweet nothings and stroking her back, but to no avail. Her groans grew louder, and it sounded as though she were in pain, like someone had stuck a knife in her gut and twisted until they felt something split.

“Jason,” she whimpered.

“I’m here Rorie, I’m here,” he assured her, beginning to wonder if he should wake her.

She turned restlessly, breaths too fast and shallow. “Stop it...Stop it!”

“Rorie,” Jason said, shaking her shoulder.

It was definitely time to wake her now. She was thrashing about in a sluggish, still sleepy way, and Jason was having trouble. It seemed like the more he tried to wake her, the more she was determined to sleep.

“Leave Jason alone!” she cried out suddenly. “Hurt me! Hurt me!”

“Rorie!” Jason yelled, shaking her so hard he was afraid he might hurt her.

Her eyes snapped open, and for half a moment they looked wide and frantic, terrified as she tried to swing a fist at his face. He blocked it just in time though, holding it gently in his hands.

“It’s me, Rorie. It’s just me. You’re safe, we’re home, you’re with me,” he told her as her struggling subsided.

Rorie took a few moments to calm down all the way, the adrenaline draining out of her system. When she was breathing normally again, she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. Jason didn’t miss the haunted look in her eyes. He stayed quiet, waiting to see if she would open up or not.

“I screamed, didn’t I?” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.” Jason answered her anyway.

“What did I say? Just the usual stuff?” she wondered.

“You...you mentioned me,” Jason said.

“What about you?”

Jason turned on his side, propping himself up on the red sheets so he could see her better.

“You said something about leaving me alone, and to hurt you instead.” He swallowed down the pain the thought gave him. He would take a thousand beatings before he would let Rorie take one in his stead.

“Oh.”

They were quiet, and Jason fell back to lie on his back, mimicking her position. He didn’t say anything, waiting to see if she wanted to open up.

“You know my real name is Aurora.”

That was all she said, echoing out of place in the questioning silence.

“Yeah,” Jason said.

He remembered when she had first come, and they had asked her name. She had spat it out like bile, making it sound less like a name and more like the crunching of bones underfoot.

“Don’t call me that. Call me Rorie.”

It wasn’t left open for debate.

“My mom named me Aurora. I guess she liked the Disney princess or something. I don’t know. The only thing I know that she liked was drugs.”

Jason could understand that. With a sharp, stinging clarity, he could understand that. He had seen firsthand how drugs could throw a person into a haze, make them forget who they were, who they had been before. Once someone was hooked, there was only one thing they remembered. The hunger.

“Drugs and beating the crap out of me, anyway,” Rorie said.

Jason tried not to let the sharp intake of breath come out loud. He had suspected something of the kind had occurred, that something terrible had happened to Rorie. He had known her long enough to know that she had not lived an ideal childhood. Not that Bruce was known for adopting kids who had. Jason kept his mouth shut, letting her talk.

“She would go on these binges and forget everything except the drugs, and then she would come down and be so angry,” Rorie said. “She’d be mad at the lack of food because we never had money to buy anything, furious with me for not having a fix for her. One time she hit me over the head with a frying pan and when I fell over I broke my wrist. The neighbor took me to see a doctor. I think he knew what was going on, but you know how people are,” Rorie said quietly.

Jason did know. They kept their mouths shut if they didn’t think it was their business. Most bad things didn’t seem to be any of anybody’s business.

“He at least paid for me to get treated. I guess with the financial aid it wasn’t that expensive. I just ran errands for him after that, little things to help out. I liked it. Gave me an excuse to be out of the house, and he would feed me too if he had enough to spare. I always liked Ben. He works at Wayne Enterprises now, you know,” Rorie said.

“And your mom?” It was probably rude to ask, but Jason wanted to know.

“Overdose.” It was simple, clean-cut, without a trace of sadness to it.

“So in your dream…”

“Yeah. She was beating you black and blue. Some sick version of meeting the parents, huh?” Rorie chuckled darkly.

Jason gently laid his fingers underneath hers, waiting for her cue. When she laced her fingers through his, he returned the gesture.

“How often does this kind of stuff happen?” Jason asked.

“Dreams about my mom, or dreams about my mom beating you?” Rorie asked, speaking up again before he could answer. “The dreams about my mom happen anywhere from once a month to every night of the week, depending on how stressed I am, usually. The dreams about her beating you only started up a few weeks ago, so it’s hard to say.”

Jason hummed.

“Tell me next time you have a nightmare. You can come in here and sleep with me,” he told her.

Normally, Rorie wouldn’t have been in his room at all. Bruce had gotten extra strict about that once they started dating. Tonight had been a special exception though. Patrol had been particularly rough, and Rorie had gotten lightly fear-gassed. She had already had her gas mask half-on her face, so the full effects didn’t last longer than a few minutes, but it had left her shaken. There had been no formal discussion, but Bruce had watched them both head down the hall in the direction of Jason’s room with no comment.

“Bruce might get mad,” Rorie said.

“Bruce will understand.”

Rorie sighed, turning back to Jason again and curling in close like she had before.

“Why aren’t you asleep, Boy Wonder?” she asked.

“Just thinking about some things,” Jason told her.

“Aw, I keep you up at night already? How sweet!” Rorie teased.

Jason rolled his eyes. “You kept me up at night before. You’re crazy.”

“You like it.”

Jason did like it. Jason liked it a lot.

“I have my own reasons for being awake, let’s leave it at that,” Jason said.

“Alright. I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” Rorie half-shrugged, yawning widely.

“You tired again princess?” Jason asked.

“I told you not to call me that,” Rorie said, blushing. “It’s a stupid nickname.”

Rorie had liked it just fine until Jason had made the mistake of using it at school. Now, it reminded Rorie of public embarrassment. He didn’t use it at school anymore if he could help himself, but it was almost instinctual to call her that, like he had been waiting to for years.

“You like it,” he said, mocking her earlier words.

“Whatever.” Rorie didn’t deny it.

“Go to sleep,” Jason told her.

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, but then promptly closed them, her breathing quickly slowing.

Jason eventually joined her, but he spent hours staring up at his ceiling before he did, thinking. Jason Todd had a lot of things to think about.

When Rorie woke up, Jason Todd was gone. At first, she thought he had just headed down for breakfast early. He could be a real early bird sometimes, even on the weekends, but when she went down to the kitchen, he wasn’t there.

She searched the house high and low, even venturing down into the cave to see if he was training. She found nothing, no sign of him. Just as she was panicking, she went back to his room and found it. There was a note left, addressed to her.

Rorie,

It would seem we both have terrible Mom’s. My adoptive mother was no shining gem, and now I’m off to find my biological one to see if she’s any better. If Bruce asks, tell him I made good use of all the detective skills he taught me. I’ll be back before you know it, Princess.

Love,

Jason

Rorie stared at the letter for a solid minute before deciding that this was definitely something she needed to tell Bruce about. Jason could be crazy and reckless and she didn’t want him getting himself hurt. Then again, if Jason hadn’t left Bruce a note, would it be a violation of his trust to, in effect, snitch on him?

Rorie thought about it and decided she would give Jason a chance. It was only fair. He would have done the same for her, and she knew first hand he could take care of himself. He had street smarts, and he had been trained by the Batman. She would give him 24 hours, or until Bruce pried, to go explore his own past.

Rorie headed down for breakfast, noting that it was now 8:00 AM and Alfred was actually serving breakfast now. Bruce joined her shortly after she sat, Alfred placing steaming hot plates of pancakes down in front of them both.

“Will Master Jason be joining us this morning then, Miss?” Alfred asked.

“No.” Rorie shook her head. “He went out with some friends. Should be back soon though.”

“Jason has friends?”

Bruce seemed surprised. Though Jason was undoubtedly popular with the girls, at least before he was dating Rorie, the same could not be said for his male peers. He tended to be a little too nerdy for their liking, and a little too emotionally volatile too.

“Of course Jason has friends,” Rorie scoffed. “He’s not a complete hermit.”

Bruce gave her a skeptical look but shrugged it off. He wanted to believe Jason had friends and his children weren’t scheming against him, so he figured he could allow it for now.

The day dragged on with no sight or sound of Jason, and Rorie and Bruce started to get worried. Still, neither of them cracked. That is, until Bruce did.

As dinner time was approaching, Bruce stopped by her room where she was doing homework on the weekend.

“Rorie,” he said, standing in the doorway. “Where is Jason?”

Rorie paused, hardly moving at all.

“He’s out with friends,” she lied again.

“No, he isn’t. Tell me the truth Rorie.” He gave her that Batman stare, the one that said he was serious.

“He left a note. He said to tell you that he’s using the detective skills you gave him, and there was something about his biological mother in there too,” Rorie said.

“His what?” Bruce sounded alarmed.

“His biologi-” Bruce didn’t let her finish.

“Rorie, I’ve known about Jason’s biological mother for a while now. She’s working with the Joker.” Bruce’s eyes were wide, panicked, and Rorie’s quickly blew up to match his.

“We have to find him,” Rorie said, racing for the cave with Bruce’s footsteps fast behind her.

Rorie knew she was faster on her bike then Bruce was in the Batmobile, but she still didn’t feel fast enough. She pushed her top speed, willing the gauge to break so she could go even faster. The Joker had Jason, and he was doing terrible things to him. Rorie didn’t need anything except speed.

Occasionally, Bruce would try to talk in her ear, his voice panicked. Tell her something about better routes or safer driving, but Rorie didn’t listen. None of it meant anything to her. There was only one thing she could hear, pounding through her, the adrenaline making her blood vibrate in her veins.

The Joker has Jason, the Joker has Jason, the Joker has Jason.

It was obsessive, and so was she. Bruce was far behind her at this point, unable or unwilling to take the risky shortcuts she did, to endanger other people’s lives and her own without a second thought. The only thing that mattered to Rorie right now was Jason.

She lept off her bike when the GPS coordinates told her she had reached the location. Without a second thought, she kicked down the door to the warehouse, thinking her training would prepare her for what she found inside. Rorie was not prepared.

Jason lay on the ground, the Joker standing over him with a crowbar in hand. He looked dead, and Rorie panicked before she saw his eyes flicker to her. Blood was everywhere, matted in his hair, splattered across her face, spelling out pain where it pooled into his hands. His uneven breaths and the lopsided motion of his ribcage made Rorie think that he had broken more than a few ribs. If she didn’t do something fast, Jason Todd would be dead before she could say his name.

She stepped forward, nearly crying out, and the Joker swiveled. If at all possible, his sickly grin grew wider at the sight of fresh prey. Rorie lunged forward, throwing a fist only to be met with the hard metal of the crowbar. She cried out in pain, even as she lashed out with her right foot, trying to sweep the Joker’s feet out from underneath him.

He leaped, a twisted giggle falling out from between his rigid teeth.

“You’ll have to try harder than that, Batgirl!”

And try harder she did, but at every turn, it seemed he was there. She would try to barrel into him and would be met by the crowbar. She would try a more aerial attack, flipping over him, and again, the crowbar. Everything ended in the crowbar until her world became a blinding fingerpaint of blood, Jason, and the crowbar.

The crowbar made an awful whooshing noise as it sang through the air, landing with a dull crack in her ribcage. As he worked, the Joker whistled, punctuating blows to her with kicks to Jason. At some point, Rorie had been tied up. She couldn’t remember when. There was a woman here too somewhere, but she couldn’t have mattered less to Rorie.

After a while, the pain subsided. Rorie stopped feeling as though every time she breathed she would see red in the shade of her own blood, and she turned her head to best of her capability, hoping Bruce had come. Surely, Bruce had come.

He had not. Instead, the Joker just looked slightly bored.

“Oh well. Looks like I’m done softening up you two birdies. You seem ready to cook! See you on the flipside, kiddies!” He laughed again, the sound bouncing off the walls, and Rorie winced as he left, slamming the door behind him.

When he closed the door, the beeping started. With an awful sense of the definite and irreversible, Rorie realized it was a bomb. Somewhere in the building, probably somewhere close by if Rorie could just summon up the energy to look, there was a very literal ticking time bomb. She coughed, blood blossoming sticky wet in her lungs, the taste heavy on her tongue.

“Jason,” she rasped.

He groaned, and she thought she heard him reach out for her from where he lay nearby. “Rorie. Rorie, I’m here.”

If Rorie could tell the difference between blood and water now, she might have said there was a tear running down her face. She didn’t know.

“I’m sorry, Jason.” Her voice, already worn down, cracked and snapped like Rice Krispies. “I’m sorry I couldn’t...I couldn’t…”

“Don’t be,” Jason mumbled, sounding delirious with pain. “We can still get out of here.”

“Can you stand?” Rorie hoped he was right, that they could make an escape still.

More than anything, Rorie hoped he would come. That Batman would swoop out of nowhere like he always did and he would save the day.

“I don’t think so. Can you?” Jason asked.

Rorie tried. The first time, she quickly fell back to the floor, knees collapsing underneath the weight of the white-hot, blinding pain. The second time, she tried crawling. This hurt only slightly less than the walking, but it was all Rorie needed. As long as she could refrain from blocking out, she didn’t need to be upright.

“I can crawl,” she told him.

“Good,” Jason wheezed. “Go open the door, quick. If you have time, come back for me and drag me out. If you don’t, run.”

Rorie ignored the last part. She was coming back for him no matter what.

“I love you,” she told him.

Just in case.

“I love you too.”

It was reassuring, and it gave her the energy to press forwards. She inched her way towards the door, the feet seeming like miles. Rorie had been hurt a million different ways, but she couldn’t imagine any pain worse than this. It felt like she was literally dying.

Finally, she reached the door. The pain escalated as she worked it open, pulling herself half-way out of the building to push it further open so she could drag Jason through. She tried to hurry, tried to be just as fast as she was getting here, but she got distracted. Bruce pulled up, the Batmobile a sight for her sore eyes, and she cried out in relief. She tried to explain, tried to say more, but she never got the chance to. Everything blew up.

#scar tissue #jason todd #jasonxoc #red hood #robin #batman #batfamily #fic #jason todd fic #jason todd fanfic #red hood fic #red hood fanfic

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ranku-abadeer · 6 years

Text

I’ve been thinking about Grue lately. (Big spoilers)

I hear a lot when he comes up about how he’s an under-developed character, even to the point where people question how his trigger event lines up with his power. (yes I’m aware that Wildbow has said that he lied about his trigger, I’m referring to people who claim that he made up the entire thing) And honestly, I’m thinking that his character building is a lot more subtle than people give him credit for, and a good portion of that character building ties right in to the details of his power and the story he told about his trigger event.

So I guess this has been a long time coming, it’s time for me to give Grue the treatment I gave his sister.

First off, I want to establish an idea. Brian Laborn has what you could possibly call two distinct “personalities”, not in the traditional sense, but rather that he has two distinct sides to him that actually don’t overlap much but yet compliment each other in an interesting way.

There is Brian, the relatively laid back, hard working, compassionate, guy who learns quickly, and gets bored once he starts hitting diminishing returns. The guy who would do anything for his family members, and gets offended when Taylor says he sounds noble for saying so. The guy who is willing to become a career criminal in order to get into the position to become his sister Aisha’s legal guardian.

The guy who gives that “boyish smile” that Taylor fell in love with.

And then there is Grue, the methodical, practiced supervillain who thinks nothing of breaking the jaw of someone who was unwillingly recruited into the ABB. The guy who uses intimidation tactics and is concerned with his reputation and always votes for the plan that minimizes the risk to their team, even if the reward is a fraction of the other option. The guy who takes charge of his team and will go after any weakness that he sees in a confrontation. The “macho” guy who would cover up any weakness he sees in himself or else it will end up being taken advantage of in a confrontation.

The guy who can calmly have a verbal sparring match with supervillains who have multiple kills under their belt, and then lash out as soon as no one is looking.

These two sides of him don’t really clash, but instead sort of flow between each other. This isn’t too surprising, after all, just about every cape has some form of crisis of identity, after all Taylor herself has issues with blending the ruthless nature of “Skitter” and the heroism of “Weaver” when she joins the wards.

But Brian had this identity crisis a while ago, he’s been a cape for 3 years before the story began. He found his “middle ground” between these two personas, but the thing is... this “middle ground” is actually fairly lopsided. In the battle between his identities, Grue seems to have won.

He seems like a fairly open guy at the beginning of he story, but the truth is that he’s not always telling the truth. He hedges when Taylor mentions his combat training, he trails off when he can tell he’s outnumbered in his team, he doesn’t really share his feelings, and he avoids his problems.

In fact, he avoids a lot of things, his emotions, discussing his family, risks in his career, and the eyes of those who hold any sort of power over him. And he forgets that people can see how much he’s avoiding being seen. Taylor does note after all that when he’s at meetings among villains and when he’s stressed out by the attention of someone that he produces visibly more darkness around his body. She says it’s to make himself look bigger, I say it’s to hide.

Let’s look at his trigger event, or rather, what he said his trigger event was.

“We weren’t close. It wasn’t really possible, since I was living at the south end of the city and she was up here. But one night, I got a text from her. Two words: ‘Help me’. I called, but the line was busy. To this day, I don’t know why I took it so seriously, but I got over to my mom’s place as fast as was humanly possible. Ran out the front door, sprinted two blocks to Lord Street, downtown, and grabbed a cab. Left the cab driver shouting for his money as I charged through the front door of my mom’s place and found my sister.

“She’d been crying, but she wasn’t saying what was wrong. I didn’t bother asking a second time. I gave her a hug, picked her up and started to leave. A man I didn’t recognize got in my way. My mom’s new boyfriend.

“I knew he was the reason she had texted me for help, from the moment I saw her reaction. Maybe I’d suspected there was something going on even before that, from the way her emails and texts had changed in tone. It would explain that gut feeling I’d had that made me get over there as fast as I did. I saw her shrink back, I felt her hold me tighter, and I went cold inside.

Immediately after this line, Brian pauses for a long enough period of time that Taylor thinks that he had finished his story already before he starts on a tangent for “context”, describing how his father taught him to fight. That pause was meaningful, he was stopping to think about how continuing to talk would make him appear weak, because he just conveniently sounds very bad-ass when he gets back to his story.

I didn’t say a word, didn’t make a sound. I put my sister down and beat my mother’s boyfriend within an inch of his life, my mother screaming and wailing the entire time. When I was done, I picked my sister up and returned to the cab. We went to my father’s that night, and we went to the police station in the morning.”

“When you throw a punch barehanded, it doesn’t leave your hands pristine. A few good swings, you connect solidly with someone’s face, someone’s teeth, and it tears the fuck out of your knuckles. It was at my father’s place that night, washing and cleaning my hands, when I saw it. It wasn’t just blood leaking out of my torn up knuckles, but there was the darkness too, like wisps of really black smoke. You hear about the trigger event, you might think it’s all about rage or fear. But I’m a testament that it can be just the opposite. I didn’t feel a fucking thing.”

Now let me just go ahead and say, those lines in bold are all lies. According to Wildbow himself, Brian was abused as a kid by one of his mom’s boyfriends, and when he came to help Aisha, he saw the exact same man and knew that he had done to Aisha what he had done to Brian.

Now let’s look at some details about his power. He generates clouds of darkness that block out all light and sound and muck with your sense of touch and these clouds do not affect him at all. But there’s also another detail that gets forgotten due to how rarely it comes up.

Scentless man makes Brutus nervous because he is big but he has no smell. But he is Master’s alpha so Master stops and listens.

-Brutus

Darkness boy isn’t around anymore or I’d be able to smell him.”

-Stormtiger

I could smell his sweat, with the faint traces of his deodorant beneath. It was funny, because when we’d settled in, I hadn’t been able to smell anything.

-Taylor

When Brian is using, or has recently used his power, he has no scent. But the thing is, that all 3 of those people have displayed being able to smell things inside his darkness, only Brian’s scent is gone when his power is being used, no other smell is affected. It also just happens that the first person to bring this up is a dog who throughout the chapter repeatedly mentions smelling emotions from other characters.

So when faced with the person who had hurt him when he was a kid, who had been hurting his sister, he gets a power that lets him hide himself. A power that means people can’t see him shrink back or flinch, a power that means you can’t hear him scream or whimper, a power that means you can’t feel how badly he’s shaking, and a power that means no one can smell his fear. He’s a perfect stranger trigger....

But there’s more to it, He’s not the one who needs to hide, not really. He’s a fit teenager, he’s had experience in the boxing ring, he doesn’t just know how to throw a punch, he knows how to take a punch. But above all else he wants to keep those close to him from experiencing the things he has, which is the perfect stress for a shaker trigger. So of course his power doesn’t blind him, he still hears the screams, he still sees the violence, he still feels every tremble of his body perfectly, but everyone else is shielded from it. He didn’t break when his mom’s boyfriend beat him, he broke when his mom’s boyfriend moved on to beating his sister.

He didn’t break when Bonesaw had cut his chest open and crucified him in a walk-in freezer with his organs on display and added nerve endings stretched across the room, making him feel immense pain any time someone even entered the room. He even remained stubborn and refused to use his power to keep Bonesaw from getting the data on his power that she wanted, it didn’t matter how badly she tortured him, he could take it.

But the second his team are dragged out in front of him, with taylor’s skull cut open and Bonesaw straddling Aisha while holding a circular saw?

Then it stopped. I could hear a strangled noise.

“Aw. Look at his heart beating! So fast!”

...

Another strangled noise, trying and failing to form words. It was so forced and ragged that it made my own throat seize up in sympathy.

Then Bonesaw starts taunting him. She tells him about how much suffering they have already put his sister through, how they had her begging them for help a while ago and he only just found out about it.

He made a sound that might have been a growl or a howl of rage, but there was no volume to it, and it was more high-pitched than anything else.

Once he finds out how his sister has been hurt badly by those who have hurt him, he howls in rage.

I felt a hand pat my cheek.

...

“It’s just so funny, watching him react. His heart beat faster when I touched her.”

and then she calls out him reacting to her threats and Burnscar readies to attack his friends and his darkness pools out and he has a second trigger.

Now compare this to his first trigger. My interpretation of the exact scene would be that Brian recognized the man who had abused them both, and he taunted them, talking down about them both. Brian most certainly reacted to how he talked about Aisha. Brian was terrified of the situation, But he wanted to be a shield, he trusted his body and knew what he wanted to do, to beat the abuser’s face in, like how he punched his mom’s boyfriend in the face until his knuckles bled, and how he pulped burnscar’s skull against a counter-top, and above all else he didn’t want people to see any sign of weakness from him, and he wanted to shield those he cared about from the violence around them. And most importantly he wanted them to not see how violent/abusive HE was capable of being. Which I believe is part of one of the biggest details about a line that he says in arc 2 and expands on in arc 5. A line that I actually have never seen anyone bring up in discussions about him.

“I hate this, Rachel. That you make me do shit like this. That when I say things like that, I sound like everything I hate most in this world.

That right there. His issues with abusive family members aren’t just limited to his trigger event, this at times leads to extreme self hatred, because he is aware of how similar he is to the people who haunt him at times, he’s even caught himself lashing out at Aisha in similar ways before, and that was a pivotal moment in his life.

“I know, but you’re not getting it. I was the type to go after someone if they showed a vulnerability. Wasn’t until I’d had my powers about a year, Aisha tells me I was being an asshole, just like one of her stepdads used to be. So I tried to be better, but I always wanted to protect her, always wanted to help others.

He’s deeply afraid of being like other people in his family, and it’s not just his mom’s boyfriends that bother him. He seems to have other traumas specifically related to his mom that eat at him that he doesn’t tell anyone about, even to the point where Aisha is less bothered by their mom’s issues than he is.

“And mommy’s on a bender,” Aisha said. “Don’t think it’ll end anytime soon.”

It was odd, but Brian looked more upset at hearing that than Aisha was about saying it aloud. Hadn’t he grown up with his dad?

15.1

“Look, Mr. Laborn, we have to consider Aisha’s perspective. She’s a serial runaway. She clearly doesn’t see your father’s place as a home. Extra care should be given to ensure she sees this as one. Assuming she winds up here and not at her mother’s.”

“My mother’s,” Brian’s expression took on a more serious cast.

“I’m aware of your concerns on the subject of Aisha’s mother, Mr. Laborn.”

6.3

All together it’s clear that even pre-Bonesaw, Brian was a deeply traumatized individual who was just good enough at putting up a false face and avoiding his traumas enough that no one could use it against him. Good enough even that us readers could barely see a sign of it.

Except his fears still get expressed notably no matter how much he hides them, in fact, they get noticed because he hides them. Every time he is faced with his traumas and fears he defaults to “orders, rules and self-discipline” according to tattletale’s power, and he is always noted to make himself appear larger to the point where his body language is impossible to read.

When faced with the members of Empire-88 accusing him of being aggressive on neutral ground, he swells up to “look more imposing” or possibly to hide his body language from the neo-nazi’s who have a history of attacking his family and have almost certainly targeted him in his civilian identity at some point. When he is spit up by Echidna he becomes a blob of shadow so shapeless that Taylor can’t tell what position he was sitting in. And then when he sees Bonesaw standing across from him at a meeting between major cape groups, his darkness was literally writhing as he struggled to not look at her, which his teammates immediately knew was him withdrawing and burying all of his emotions, every time he does it, his team notices and quickly figures out the reason.

The one time he doesn’t do this is after his second trigger, where he is on his knees, visibly sobbing in front of his entire team, the one time where the pain is so raw that he can’t hide, his default instincts of self discipline fail.

His power helps him hide, but not well enough to keep those close to him from knowing his reactions. But still well enough to keep everyone, including the readers, from seeing too much of the traumatized scared teenager who knows he is in way over his head named Brian, and instead to see the intimidating supervillain with an impressive track-record named Grue.

#parahumans #worm #wildbow #worm spoilers #grue #Brian #It's been a long time since i've done an analysis like this #holy crap this ended up longer than i had planned #really hope this isn't too much of a ramble #i'm tired and have been writing this for...#wow #about 4 hours #maybe more

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glopratchet · 4 years

Text

emotion

14 emotional: ecstasy, love, amazement, vigilance pride, courage You are a happy man You feel the urge to scream out in joy and cry tears of happiness at this moment grief, loathing, rage, terror despair You feel the urge to scream out in horror and cry tears of horror at this moment You are a sad man terror, Ecstasy : eee, 14 emotional, joy with peace love and concern 100% You feel compelled to reach total ecstasy as focus on the bliss of following your emotional limit, you also feel that taking this path it's the best way to achieve inner peace through balance Something perhaps other psykers find difficult to achieve, though you cannot see this ever becoming a problem for you You feel closer to the big guiding lights of joy and wills of emotions that move all men than ever Emotions : si, joy joy with peace, Vigilance : vigal, anticipation with interest and emphasis on conflict Pride : ego, 13 emotional, arrogance with happiness and excitement Courage : corag, courage with a side order of hope Wisdom : intell, 18 mental, logic and hope guiding intelligence and planning (Secondary: 16 intuition, experiencing emotions and feelings as the wheels of your mind turn Lust : luxx, 16 Emotional, raw fulfillment of needs and wants without disregard for others anticipation with interest and emphasis on conflict Terror : terr , fear with apprehension and focus on conflict 12 grief, loathing and sorrow) Anger : iraa, rage with excitement 14 sorrow, 21 Emotional, arrogance and happiness with an emphasis on love towards self and others Devotion : devi, 19 emotional, peace through faith in something beyond oneself with a desire to focus on this connection fear with apprehension and focus on conflict and aggression Rage : rge, anger with annoyance No weight attached to the decision, you see no reason to change anything as it feels right anger with annoyance and aggression Loathing : loath, disgust with boredom and agitation 15 sorrow, terr, 15 emotional, Finally you have a moment of introspection to feel your own emotions, and you feel them all within you disgust with boredom and agitation Grief : grif, sadness with pensiveniss and sorrow 10 fear, panic and dread) Self-loathing : self, embarrassment, shame and misery Panic : pan, 4 emotional, fear with terror and desperation Dread : dred, Elation : ylem, 60 mental, purging logic with extreme focus sadness with pensiveniss and sorrow Amazement : amaze, surprise with distraction and awe Out of interest you move your local mind's eye to a spiraling group of thoughts, feeling an odd emotion that feels like dispair, terror and loathing, yet at the same time hope, happiness and excitement surprise with distraction and awe Love : luv, trust with acceptance and kindness 22 desire, lust and curiosity with focus on other) The thoughts then turn into a nearly incomprehensible mass of swirling emotions before they're suddenly silenced and feel something press against your mind that feels like anger, fear and disgust, yet at the same time anticipation, apprehension and trust Calm : calm, 30 mental, concentration with inner peace Awkwardness : awkwa, 5 emotional, fear with embarrassment and uncertainty trust with acceptance and kindness //sublime: and confusion Suddenly you feel the presence pressing against your mind get pulled away before it can respond to your "hello" and before you realize anything else, you find yourself temporarily paralyzed and unable to think Nuts, the minds voice suddenly whispers in your head, You um, you had the advantage of me there for a second and I I'm sorry Sayumi interrupts herself, sounding truly embarrassed I've been kinda on edge since our whole shouting match thing earlier terror and confusion //ecstasy admiration = love 8 desire, lust and curiosity) Feeling a little awkward, Sayumi lets you go on your own, and after a few moments, you start to feel as if nothing had happened at all //ecstasy terror = sublime 34 desire, "I didn't really want to fight, " You say aloud, "It was supposed to be a conversation but hten you decided to attack me instead There's a pause before she replies gently, I'm sorry Did I hurt you? "You paralyzed me for a bit, " You admit //ecstasy amazement = ? 65 desire, The chainging of emotions seem confusing to you as you expect rage or something similar from being attacked, but instead feel Amazement? In any case Sayumi sounded genuinely abashed at what she'd done so you forgive her "Don't worry about it, it ended up not being a big deal //ecstasy rage = ? 46 fear and loathing) The rage is fleeting, but it feels to you like she could very honestly lash out at you in some way and only barely manages the control to stop herself It surprises you that despite her state of mind her skills have gone up notably, being able to harbor two evenly strong emotions at once must have helped tune her reactions Surely, Sayumi I'm sorry too though //ecstasy vigilance = optimism habit 3 curiosity and hope) You know that tone, Sayumi's trying to make ammends with you but can't help thinking that this apology is just another tool for you to use in manipulating her Even though you didn't ask for it and are helping her out of kindness she still believes that you're tricking her like so many others have //ecstasy vigilance = optimism habit //admiration terror = submission 21 desire lust and submissiveness) You once again hear the submission in her voice and know that despite how afraid she is, despite how upset she is, there's nothing you could ever do that would lead her to harming you There's no way for you to prove you're trustworthy when all she knows are lies, there's no way for you to explain yourself without sounding like a hypocrite or a liar //admiration amazement = respect 30 caution and fear) Congratulations, you figured it out Well sort of The way you did it makes it seem significantly less amazing or even clever to you though Still the method ; (And if you play it right the message behind it) could help Sayumi a lot with her psychological issues This amazement seems more positive than anything you've sensed from other emotions, does that mean you're improving her mood? //admiration grief = ? 55 anger and hate) SHIT! MOTHERFUCKING Oh you meant the amazement part, right Jeez, this girl When she feels one thing she hardly hides it at all, that was one of the first things you picked up in this mind link Anger again though, or more specific hate //admiration loathing = ? 53 fear and loathing) "I'm sorry for lashing out, " Sayumi mutters, staring at the wall in front of her You hug her, as she briefly tries to struggle and then hugs back as tightly as she can, trying not to cry "It'll be alright, I promise" "We're getting out of this, I promise, " you whisper back //admiration rage = domination 66 sadness and fear) The poor girl's overwhelmed with fear that she's failing at everything yet again You kiss her gently on the lips, surprising her as you do every so often, except when you dive into this emotional link you can sense it actually makes her happier or calms her, for lack of a better word Now you just have to pull off the mind reading stuff you said you'd do //admiration vigilance = ? 22 obsession and love) So that's what the word is Love You dismiss the thought immediately, there a lot of talk about finding your soul mate and all that other rubbish that goes along with the concept, everyone seems to want to find their one true love when in reality you can have multiple loves as long as they aren't the same person You show Sayumi some complicated mathematical calculations which, besides enjoying math, seems to calm her down the most out of anything you do //terror amazement = awe 3 contempt and fear) Your reading her emotions and thoughts, it's time to seal the emotional link Two weeks pass, and although the food is running dangerously low, someone has finally seen Sayumi waiting for you and you've been rescued //terror grief = ? 46 faith) A week passes, with much questioning but very little progress You've gained the bed in the cell for your "heroic rescue", but while message have gotten through to Sayumi's parents nothing has been heard from them And now with each passing day the questions change from general concern to accusatory "We risked our lives getting you out of there, and this is how you'd repay us? //terror loathing = depression (Secondial: 63 rejection) "She been taken away for re-indoctrination, she'll be fine " And with that, Sayumi was whisked away Your interrogator got replaced with a woman who brought you dinner and a cot in some sort of security facility where there are cameras watching every wall You expected as much 5 more days pass, and it is official, you are now a prisoner of the jingoists //terror rage = panic 77 fear) You wait You keep having the same nightmare every time you close your eyes, and it all begins with the young looking man grabbing your arms as strongly as he can and staring into your eyes And then, nothing A void Nothing but blackness One week passes, and the woman visits you again "She's forgiven you, //terror vigilance = ? 54 adoration and obsession) Much like you're obsessed with watching Sayumi change, but really because you knew her before it was all an excuse to watch her surprise every time You need the chance to defend her again or finish what you started "If she has, then why am I here? "He wanted to make sure you were good for her "What do you think? //amazement grief = disapproval 3 fear and amazement) His low slung humorless chuckle makes you uncomfortable, given what you know about him, but the woman seems genuinely confused, perhaps she doesn't know either He looks at you for a moments before finally deciding on an answer "Sure You are released into the custody of the woman under one stipulation, should Sayumi be found to be experiencing renewed feelings for you, they will give the order to kill you both //amazement loathing = ? 46 distrust) "We're taking you to her now, " She says in a dull tone, "I don't think they will be needing me to watch you anymore This catches your attention Is it really that simple? Perhaps not, but you're about to find out //amazement rage = ? 80 doubt) "Thank you The trip is a quiet one as she doesn't speak and you are left to ponder your own feelings on how you should approach this for everything, " You start off with what you feel is an appropriate thing to say and follow her out the door You've fallen back on what you knew before, but many things have changed Will she recognize you? What if they've done something to change her soul? //amazement vigilence = ? 100 thought) You find yourself standing outside a door with your chaperone who doesn't move an inch to open it, but instead just turns to look at you The face she is making is unreadable but you doubt if any language could properly convey the emotions in her eyes Pity, disgust, fear, and love? She places a gloved hand on your shoulder before leaning into your ear to whisper to you //grief loathing = remorse 75 fear) "Remember, he can see you, but you can't see him Good luck and may the creator bring us all to a better tomorrow The woman turns away from you as the door open just enough for you to slip through quietly You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself This won't be easy when did it ever is it? //grief rage = ? 75 hopefulness) Silently you push the door open further before taking a glance inside Nothing has changed in the house economically, but there are paintings everywhere, and no supply crates or other objects to hide behind Someone is clearly home You step inside and notice that the paintings on the wall are actually one massive painting that spans the entire wall //grief vigilance = ? 75 hope) Your eyes scan the painting and realize that it is a set of frames that make up a sliding puzzle Someone must have figured out the combination because the paintings are all sliding to the left until they come together to reveal a empty marble plinth in the center of the room You watch with bated breath as a smaller version of the blade is place on it And then Look closer at the hilt, where you face is staring back at you //grief anticipation = ? "Shit! What the hell Leblanc, " You begin to shout angrily before realizing that Sayumi is not in front of you The apartment is completely empty and devoid of any furnishing, with the exception of another plinth on the right side of the room On top of it lays a note folded in half You walk over, noticing as you do that there is an intricate maze drawn inside the plinth //loathing rage = contempt 98 contempt, 3 sorrow) "Just great, a maze no less " You mutter as you move towards the note With everything taken into consideration, you genuinely weren't expecting a simple note You grab it on the end and flip it over to read its contents ---- You shouldn't have come here //loathing rage = contempt ; //loathing vigilance = loneliness 95 loneliness, 10 disgust) These past few years without you have been hard, why did you have to leave me? I'm sorry OK? I was just so scared of the future and I thought you didn't feel the same way I let the presence get to me, but you knew better than anyone that it wasn't my choice! Knew it from the moment you saved me and showed me another way You're the only person who really understood me //loathing vigilance = loneliness ; Please don't leave me here alone You go to the plinth begging the voices inside your head to stop screaming at you just long enough to visualize that maze After a few attempts, you manage to make it through with the correct path The plinth slides to the left, opening up a passageway leading somewhere at least As you wander further within, the voices grow louder and louder until they feel like they are going to burst inside your mind Gentle kisses along your cheeks You grab your head as if struggling to keep it in place, gritting your teeth and silently yelling out in pain, but you force yourself to near the source of the noise If it's insanity you're after then by god you're going to reach it! Soft, mesmerizing, beautiful You spot a light at the end of a never-ending hallway She's calling the presence is calling to her The closer you get, the louder the voices are and now you can make out what they're saying It almost feels like they're not even voices at this point, but some strange kind of instruments being played that isn't quite right either They are like harps, but monstrously deformed harps with jagged edges that are bound to draw blood the pain, it is a reminder of our tragic romance You reach the end of the hallway only to find a rusted steel door blocking your way It is here where you see Sayumi standing directly in front of you She has a completely expression on her face There is no fear, no anger and not even sadness There is just nothing at all oh kyoko, you beautiful broken piece of clay "Sayumi " You give her a slight nod of the head as she returns it NOD ABSENT SMILE She cannot reply That isn't to say she can't physically talk, but rather she has nothing to say to you Your relationship is as broken as she is right now WE WILL BE ETERNAL A young, pretty Japanese girl appears out of thin air Looking to be around the same age as yourself, her long blonde her hangs down to her shoulders with both front pieces tied with pink ribbons Her eyes are a bright crimson and her oversized red dress flaps in a nonexistent wind NOBODY CAN STOP US NOW, WE WILL BE ETERNAL! This can't be real Is this some kind of joke? Is this some sick way of getting back at you for all the times you left her behind, alone and afraid? Have the standards of the game really fallen so low that they would resort to something like this? What's next? A miniboss fight against the image of your dead mother, asking why you always hated her for trying to do what was best for you in her own way? This isn't a joke It isn't for you It's for her And even then, it isn't real Just visions created from her broken psyche, born from the combination of agony and fear experienced during this quest This person is not your mother This is not Sayumi It doesn't matter who it looks like They're not even human anymore They're a monster, just like you well, I guess that isn't entirely true anymore Not since you found out the old hag bit the dust anyway, making you officially one of them Heh You're a vampire You survived being turned into one, and most Vampires don't have that privilege Who knows? Maybe one day YOU will be the hag that everyone fears Yeah, As if that would ever happen You walk towards the monitory Sayumi Thinking back on everything that happened tonight, you realize it's probably going to be a bumpy ride for her and you This is going to take a lot of work on your part, but as long as you're there for her, as a true partner, not just some summoner calling her forth whenever he sees fit, then it shouldn't be impossible

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