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#as though it’s not important to white Christians or as though Christians of color aren’t ever homophobic or whatever
rotationalsymmetry · 3 years
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Who’s the enemy? Who exactly?
Don’t know, don’t care, people are people, you can have compassion for literally anyone — literally anyone — while still thinking oppression is bad and we can do better.
The enemies are whats, systems and behaviors and ways of thinking, not whos. And people can be both oppressed and also complicit in oppression at the same time. There’s no way to divide people up so that you get a group of people who are completely “safe” and incapable of participating in systems of oppression.
An article about that: here.
I see so many post that seem to be based on the assumption that the world can neatly be divided into “the oppressed” and “people capable of perpetuating oppression” and that it’s important to figure out exactly which demographic goes in which category. That’s not how it works.
Anyone who knows what “intersectionality” means should already be fully aware that that’s not how that works.
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olderthannetfic · 3 years
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I'm a Chinese, nationally and racially. Racial projection seems to be a common practice in western fandom, doesn't it? I find it a bit... weird to witness the drama ignited upon shipping individuals with different races, or the tendency to separate characters into different "colors" even though the world setting doesn't divide races like that. Such practice isn't a thing here. Mind explaining a bit on this phenomenon?
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Sure, I can try. But of course, fish aren’t very good at explaining the water they swim in.
Americans aren’t good at detecting our own Americanness, and a lot of what you’re seeing is very much culturally American rather than Western in general. (In much of Europe, “race” is a concept used by racists, or so I’m told, unlike in the US where it’s seen more neutrally.) Majority group members (i.e. me, a white girl) aren’t usually the savviest about minority issues, but I’ll give it a shot.
The big picture is that most US race stuff boils down to our attempts to justify and maintain slavery and that dynamic being applied, awkwardly, to everyone else too, even years after we abolished slavery.
There’s a concept called the “one drop rule” where a person is “black” if they have even one drop of black blood.
We used to outlaw “interracial” marriage until quite recently. (That meant marriage between black people and white people with Asians and Hispanic people and others wedged in awkwardly.) Here’s the Wikipedia article on this, which contains the following map showing when we legalized interracial marriage. The red states are 1967.
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That’s within living memory for a ton of people! Yellow is 1948 to 1967. This is just not very long ago at all. (Hell, we only fully banned slavery in 1865, which is also just not that long ago when it comes to human culture.)
Why did we have this bananas-crazy set of laws and this idiotic notion that one remote ancestor defines who you are? It boils down to slavery requiring a constant reaffirming that black people are all the same (and subhuman) while white people are all this completely separate category. The minute you start intermarrying, all of that breaks down. This was particularly important in our history because our system of slavery involved the kids of slaves being slaves and nobody really buying their way out. Globally, historically, there are other systems of slavery where there was more mobility or where enslaved people were debtors with a similar background to owners, and thus the people in power were less threatened by ambiguity in identity.
Post-slavery, this shit hung around because it was in the interests of the people in power to maintain a similar status quo where black people are fundamentally Other.
A lot of our obsession with who counts as what is simply a legacy of our racist past that produced our racist present.
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The other big factor in American concepts of identity is that we see ourselves as a nation of immigrants (ignoring our indigenous peoples, as usual). A lot of people’s families arrived here relatively recently, and we often don’t have good records of exactly where they were from, even aside from enslaved people who obviously wouldn’t have those records. Plenty of people still identify with a general nationality (”Italian-American” and such), but the nuance the family might once have had (specific region of Italy, specific hometown) is often lost. Yeah, I know every place has immigrants, and lots of people don’t have good records, but the US is one of those countries where families have on average moved around a lot more and a lot more recently than some, and it affects our concepts of identity. I think some of the willingness to buy into the idea of “races” rather than “ethnicities” has to do with this flattening of identity.
New immigrant groups were often seen as Other and lesser, but over time, the ones who could manage it got added to our concept of “whiteness”, which gave them access to those same social and economic privileges.
Skin color is a big part of this. In a system that is founded on there being two categories, white owners and black slaves, skin color is obviously going to be about that rather than being more of a class marker like it is in a lot of the world.
But it’s not all about skin color since we have plenty of Europeans with somewhat darker skin who are seen as generically white here, while very pale Asians are not. I’m not super familiar with all of the history of anti-Asian racism in the US, but I think this persistent Otherness probably boils down to Western powers trying to justify colonial activities in Asia plus a bunch of religious bullshit about predominantly Christian nations vs. ones that are predominantly Buddhist or some other religion.
In fact, a lot of racist archetypes in English can be traced back to England’s earliest colonial efforts in Ireland. Justifying colonizing Those People because they’re subhuman and/or ignorant and in need of paternalistic rulers or religious conversion is at the bottom of a lot of racist notions. Ironic that we now see Irish people as clearly “white”.
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There are a lot of racist porn tropes and racist cultural baggage here around the idea of black people being animalistic. Racist white people think black men want to rape/steal white women from white men. Black women get seen as hypersexual and aggressive. If this sounds like white people projecting in order to justify murder and rape... well, it is.
Similar tropes get applied to a lot of groups, often including Hispanic and Middle Eastern people, though East Asians come in more for creepy fantasies about endlessly submissive and promiscuous women. This nonsense already existed, but it was certainly not helped by WWII servicemen from here and their experiences in Asia. Again, it’s a projection to justify shitty behavior as what the party with less power was “asking for”.
In porn and even romance novels, this tends to turn up as a white character the audience is supposed to identify with paired with an exotic, mysterious Other or an animalistic sexy rapist Other.
A lot of fandoms are based on US media, so all of our racist bullshit does apply to the casting and writing of those, whether or not the fic is by Americans or replicating our racist porn tropes.
(Obviously, things get pretty hilarious and infuriating once Americans get into c-dramas and try to apply the exact same ideas unchanged to mainstream media about the majority group made by a huge and powerful country.)
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Politically, within the US, white people have had most of the power most of the time. We also make up a big chunk of the population. (This is starting to change in some areas, which has assholes scared shitless.) This means that other groups tend to band together to accomplish shared political goals. They’re minorities here, so they get lumped together.
A lot of Americans become used to seeing the world in terms of “white people” who are powerful oppressors and “people of color” who are oppressed minorities. They’re trying to be progressive and help people with less power, and that’s good, but it obviously becomes awkward when it’s over-applied to looking at, say, China.
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Now... fandom...
I find that fandom, in general, has a bad habit of holding things to double standards: queer things must be Good Representation™ even when they’re not being produced for that purpose. Same for ethnic minorities or any other minority. US-influenced parts of fandom (which includes a lot of English-speaking fandom) tend to not be very good at accepting that things are just fantasy. This has gotten worse in recent years.
As fandom has gotten more mainstream here, general media criticism about better representation (both in terms of number of characters and in terms of how they’re portrayed) has turned into fanfic criticism (not enough fics about ship X, too many about ship Y, problematic tropes that should not be applied to ship X, etc.). I find this extremely misguided considering the smaller reach of fandom but, more importantly, the lack of barriers to entry. If you think my AO3 fic sucks, you can make an account and post other fic that will be just as findable. You don’t need money or industry connections or to pass any particular hurdle to get your work out there too.
People also (understandably) tend to be hypersensitive to anything that looks like a racist porn trope. My feeling is that many of these are general porn tropes and people are reaching. There are specific tropes where black guys are given a huge dick as part of showing that they’re animalistic and hypersexual, but big dicks are really common in porn in general. The latter doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing the former unless there are other elements present. A/B/O or dubcon doesn’t mean it’s this racist trope either, not unless certain cliched elements are present. OTOH, it’s not hard for a/b/o tropes to feel close to “animalistic guy is rapey”, so I can see why it often bothers people.
A huge, huge, huge proportion of wank is “all rape fantasies are bad” crap too, which muddies the waters. I think a lot of people use “it’s racist” as an easy way to force others to agree with their incorrect claims that dubcon, noncon, a/b/o, etc. are fundamentally bad. Many fans, especially white fans, feel like they don’t know enough to refute claims of racism, so they cave to such arguments even when they’re transparently disingenuous.
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Not everyone here thinks this way. I know plenty of people offline, particularly a lot of nonwhite people, who think fandom discourse is idiotic and that the people “protecting” people or characters of color are far more racist than the people writing “bad” fic or shipping the wrong thing.
But in general, I’d say that the stuff above is why a lot of us see the world as white people in power vs. everyone else as oppressed victims, interracial relationships as fraught, and porn about them as suspect. Basically, it’s people trying to be more progressive and aware but sometimes causing more harm than good when those attempts go awry.
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babysfirstpentagram · 3 years
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Witch Tips pt 3
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List of Closed Practices: 
A list Of Closed Or Semi-Closed Practices, Objects And Religions
White sage: A sacred herb used in Indigenous American practices and currently endangered. Used in smudging rituals.
Palo Santo: An aged wood that is burned in South American practices and currently endangered. Palo Santo is important to Hispanic/latinx culture and is currently endangered. Commercial buying of this wood is generally looked down upon by those not belonging to this group of people.
Dream catchers: A hand-made woven willow hoop adorned with sacred items made by Indigenous Americans. Any that are not made by an indigenous American is not a true dream catcher.
Sweetgrass: Considered sacred to Indigenous Americans and is used in smudging rituals. Also is currently endangered.
Practices:
Smudging: A sacred, elaborate, exclusively Indigenous American ritual using smoke. Very different from smoke cleansing an area.
Spirit Guides/Spirit Animals: A purely Indigenous American belief/ part of the religion of certain tribes. Nobody not belonging to this group simply does not have one.
Egg Limpia: A South American practice to cleanse oneself  using an egg.
Karma: A Hinduism belief/concept that the energy someone builds in their life (good or bad) affects how their later lives turn out.
Chakras: A term specific to Hinduism and Buddhism referencing various focal points on the body used in meditation practices. Within Kundali yoga breath exercises, visualizations, mudras, bandhas, kriyas, and mantras are focused on manipulating the flow of subtle energies through chakras
Sour Jars: A spell belonging to hoodoo and vodou and various other closed practices using a jar to hex.
Haitian Vodou: A polytheistic, syncretic religion coming from west African (Yoruba and Fon) Roman Catholicism. Developed among Afro-Haitian communities amid the Atlantic slave trade and the main religion in Haiti as well as Catholicism.
Hoodoo: A syncretic religion created by enslaved Africans, this religion is practiced in the Caribbean and in southern America, an amalgamation of spiritual practices, traditions, and beliefs that were held in secret away from white slaveholders.
Santeria: a polytheistic, syncretic religion originating in Cuba and combines Yoruba and Roman Catholic beliefs.  Also developed during the Atlantic slave trade.
Many Native American cultures
Many African cultures
Saami (in Finland)
Religions
Shinto (There are branches of Shinto practice that are open, but this kind of practice should be approached with a high level of respect, and some branches are definitely closed. Jinja Shinto would be to most prominent example of an open denomination)
Druidism (proper not neo)
Gardnerian and Alexandrian Wicca
Haitian Vodou
Hawaiian
Some parts of African Vodou (It depends on the section/group/family etc.)
Hinduism (There are denominations of Hinduism that are open and available, just as there are sects that are closed. Some of the “open sects are highly problematic, and so it does one to be very careful when looking at joining a sect of Hindu faith. Dharmic law is part of what makes this a little sticky to navigate, so best to be approached with deference and caution. )
Hopi
Inuit
Judaism (You must earn the right to be called Jewish)
Raastafari Movement
Tribal (almost all)
Voodoo (Dependent on the group which you decide to learn from)
Voudon
Zoroastrianism
Practices Requiring Education
Kemetic Orthodox- This does not require an initiation per say, but does require a rite of passage of sorts and there is a series of coursework that should be completed.
Tibetan: closed
Hindu: closed
Semitic: closed
polynesian: closed
Indian: closed
Russian: closed
Aztec: closed
Aryan: closed
Maori: closed
Lapp: closed
Voodooloa: closed
Etruscan: closed
Native American: closed
Stregheria: closed
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The only difference between a pentacle and a pentagram is there is a circle around the star in a pentacle. That’s it. Both give you protection, both are used in rituals. 
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Both burry spell jars, its bad for the environment.
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When writing your spells, be very specific. Don’t just put “I want happiness.” 
Instead put: “I wish to be happy, surrounded by friend and family that love me.” or “I wish to be happy, living comfortably in my easy going job.” The more detailed, the better.
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Some crystals bleach in sunlight, some crystals dissolve in water. Please research before buying expensive crystals and letting them lay around. 
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wiccan/witch sabbats are not real, the word they should've use is "solar holidays" or "wheel of the year"
Esbats, wheel of the year/solar holidays are real and fine!! Though, sabbats aren't. Their origins are anti-semetic. https://twitter.com/honeybeebuggy/status/1373334936225075203?s=21 https://www.jewitches.com/post/witch-history-jews-and-the-witchcraze 
Except for: the Christian Sabbath which is a day of 'religious observance and abstinence from work'.
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A few things you can start researching once you begin your journey:
- meditation - grounding - basics of energy - cleansing - charging - crystals - herbs - oils - wicca vs witchcraft - history of witchcraft - the elements - intentions - color magic - divination (tarot, pendulums etc.) - altars - altar tools - astrology - numerology - types of witches - runes - the wheel of the year - protection - warding - spells
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The more you keep hyping up my witch tips posts, the more witch tips posts I make. Inbox is open for questions and suggestions for posts. Remember, you are loved and important and very very handsome/pretty/attractive (platonically, of course!) Now go kick some bigoted ass and drink water. 
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millenniumfae · 3 years
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Video Game Cooking: Sugars (Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice)
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Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is a standalone historical fantasy made by the famous people who also created Dark Souls and Bloodborne. It became an instant hit, and garnered massive critical acclaim. You control the broody shinobi Wolf as he battles entire armies and legendary beasts.
One of the many consumables in-game are the Sugars; Gokan’s Sugar, Ako’s Sugar, Yashariku’s Sugar, Ungo’s Sugar, and Gachiin’s Sugar. These candies are named and colored differently, and each offer a different effect. One raises your attack power, another makes you more stealthy, and so on.
Today, we’re gonna be re-creating these Sugars with our own recipe. And true to my tradition when it comes to Video Game Recipes, we’re gonna be taking our ingredients accurate to the setting. Which in this case is Sengoku period Japan. This recipe meta draws especially true to my own heritage, as a Taiwanese person.
Sekiro Senpou Temple Sugars: Recipe (makes 10-20 individual candies, depending on the size)
Base candy recipe:
3 3/4 cups granulated raw cane sugar
1 1/2 cups golden syrup/brown rice syrup
1 cup water
Corn starch for mold making (optional)
Confectioner’s sugar for dusting
Flavorings:
Fresh ginger slices (Gokan’s Sugar)
Dried lotus seeds (Gokan’s Sugar)
Red cherries (Ako’s Sugar)
Dried Astragalus (Ako’s Sugar)
Ginseng (Ungo’s Sugar)
White peaches (Ungo’s Sugar)
Sake (Yashariku’s Sugar)
Dried Cocklebur fruit (Yashariku’s Sugar)
Dried Orange peel (Gachiin’s Sugar)
Dried Goji berries (Gachiin’s Sugar)
Food coloring
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(Sekiro won the 2019 Game Of The Year award, the first FromSoftware game to do so.)
To make our Sugars, we’ll be infusing a traditional candy base with various ingredients, unique for each candy. Every ingredient is based off of TCM, which is an acronym standing for Traditional Chinese Medicine. For those unacquainted with TCM, it can be hard to explain its influence. There’s no true western equivalent because it’s more than just ‘old household remedies’, it’s almost a given that Asian citizens take various TCM practices seriously to a degree. Like westerners do with honey lemon tea, or chicken noodle soup.
It’s also accurate to the game. Sekiro takes its setting very seriously. Everything from weapons, to hairstyles, to interior decor, even down to the kanji on Emma’s note in the beginning of the game is true to the Sengoku period, and some levels even go backwards a bit to the Heinan period, to reflect an ancient atmosphere. You can reasonably minus the historical inaccuracies on your own volition; giant snake gods, lightning powers, and automatic prosthetic grappling hooks weren’t indigenous to Japan.
Except there’s in fact one tiny detail that you might be surprised to learn is actually anachronistic; disk-shaped hard candies. The Sugars.
Hard candies aren’t traditional East-Asian treats. Sugar was always readily available in the form of sugar cane, true, but sweets almost always took the form of fruit, and candy-coated/infused ingredients. This is true worldwide until refining sugar into its white form became common, but East-Asia in particular wasn’t munching on lozenges while Marie Antoinette already had cough drops.
The Sengoku period stretched from the early Renaissance to the Baroque period. While Wolf was parrying his way through the Ashina Outskirts, the first King James Bible was published. There was plate armor and court jesters, but also firearms and photographs. Japan didn’t get access to matchlock firearms until 1542, and since the Sunken Valley clan seems to define themselves by the expert use of these guns, it makes sense that the intro to the game itself dates Sekiro as specifically taking place in the latter years of the Sengoku period.
All throughout this stretch of two centuries, Japan has been under constant war and political strife, lending to the Sengoku period’s alternative name, the ‘Warring States Period’. Japan consisted of separate nations, all led under Daimyo and warlords and various nobles that demanded their armies scramble for more land and resources. Living under this kind of conflict for so long means that innovations and education are rare. There’s no opportunity to invent the telescope when you’re all constantly worried about your lives.
This means that the food of Sekiro would have very much been the same it’s been since centuries beforehand. Even though by this point, the Columbian Exchange has been well underway and Europe was experimenting with tomatoes in their food, Japan wasn’t enjoying this same golden period. Any developments would have been weaponry, not candy making methods.
This means that, for our recipe, we’re not using anything that a Senpou monk wouldn’t have access to. No potatoes, corn, vanilla, etc. No beet sugar, or fruits that aren’t native to Japan. Even the raw cane sugar we’re using is pushing the authenticity envelope, because the ‘raw’ granulated sugar you find in grocery stores aren’t completely raw, they’ve still been refined using lye and carbon to strip much of the molasses. True raw cane sugar, when boiled down from its juice form, makes a traditional Asian ingredient called black sugar, which is very dark in color and not suited for making the brightly-colored candy disks that the Sugars appear to be.
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(Shinobi aren’t samurai, but Wolf’s relationship with Kuro is so clearly samurai-ish that we can assume Wolf was being paid buckets as a high-prestige warrior. He also would have access to better food, including white rice; which, while already genetically modified through breeding by the Sengoku period, wouldn’t have looked like modern rice. Or maybe Wolf wasn’t enjoying the high life, because he dresses in rags compared to Genichiro and apparently didn’t know rice was supposed to be cooked.)
Knowing all that history about the Sengoku period, it’s almost silly to see candy consumables in-game, looking like they came right out of a bag of Werther’s Originals. The developers of Sekiro made many lengths to ensure everything was authentic, so why are the candies so modern-looking when they could instead have been a traditional Sengoku period sweet like something mochi-based, or agar (seaweed) jellies?
The lore behind the Sugars are that the evil Senpou monks were mass-producing these candies, and selling them all across Ashina to fund their crooked child experiments. They’re not just (presumably) tasty, they offer benefits to your health. That’s definitely in line with TCM culture, and gives us some inspiration for how to pursue replicating them.
One important note; the Sugars are some of the lesser consumables Wolf can use. Almost all other consumables are better, offering more powerful effects for a longer duration. So what if these candies were true to TCM and were mere treats infused with medicinal ingredients, only capable of giving you a small boost? Especially in comparison to the Divine Child’s rice, which would be like an Epi-Pen in this analogy.
But there’s even more depth to the consumables than that. Kuro gifts Wolf a ‘sweet rice ball’ at some point, which is almost certainly an Ohagi bun; made out of glutinous rice, red beans, and sugar, and its a traditional offering for the Buddhist observance of seasonal equinox. Eating it is sometimes said to bring protection. In order for Kuro to make Wolf this rice ball, you gotta give him some of that special rice from the Divine Child. Wolf offhandedly mentions that her rice is “sweet when you bite into it”, and Kuro realizes that Wolf has been eating these rice grains raw all this time, like the feral 5′5 goblin he is. Kuro vows to give his loyal protector something nice to eat, for once, and makes him three Ohagi dumplings.
The food of Sekiro is symbolic. The Divine Child is able to make rice out of thin air, like a deity of fertility. Kuro takes this divine rice, and his sweet rice ball is more powerful than the magical blessed Sugars because it was made with compassion. And eating Kuro’s lovingly-made rice ball reminds Wolf of once being fed a rice ball when he was young and starving, given to him by his assfuck of a father who’s compassion is heavily in question.
The Sugars are described as giving the eater a ‘benediction’ of power, and who knows what the translators were thinking, but the word choice reminds us of communion, and the flesh and blood of Christ. It’s not a true comparison; communion is about replicating and worshiping the Last Supper, reminding Christians about Jesus willingly dying cause humans are sinful. Consuming the ‘flesh and blood’ of Jesus in the form of bread and wine is very different than eating a candy apparently blessed by an ancient Japanese warrior. It’s not like communion wafers are supposed to empower you, or protect you.
Looking at the in-game image of each Sugar, you can see the likeness of a person behind it, likely the very warrior the Sugar is named after. We don’t know if these people actually had a hand in these Sugars, somehow transplanting their power into each individual candy, or if the monks just named the candies after them. Either way, the process of receiving the benefits of the Sugars isn’t just about crunching it between your teeth, Wolf also takes a moment to strike a‘warrior stances’, which, according to the descriptions, is a required detail to properly absorb the candy’s effects. Each Sugar has their own corresponding ‘stance’ that Wolf performs. It’s a weird detail, and raises even more questions about the Sugars, the monks, and the warriors behind the candy.
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(Observant players will note that the five Headless boss enemies drop ‘spiritfalls’, each of which share names with the five Sugars, and offer upgraded versions of their corresponding Sugar; Ako’s Spiritfall is basically a better version of Ako’s Sugar, and so on. We can assume that the Headless are, in fact, the very same legendary warriors that powered the Sugars, especially since the game itself states that the Headless are undead remains of powerful individuals.)
True to FromSoftware tradition, details are included with purpose. And also at the same time, some details are just meant to be taken at face value. The various centipede-themed enemies in Sekiro are associated with kegare - spiritual defilement, death - explaining visually their willing abandonment from Buddhism. But there’s likely no lore explaining why Wolf can automatically hoover up all nearby enemy loot like a vacuum with the press of a button.
The inexplicable details of FromSoftware games are almost certainly because of gameplay convenience. Many characters are 9-10 feet tall for no reason, towering over Wolf, who’s already short to begin with. Lore-wise, it doesn’t make sense for so many completely human characters to be so gratuitously large. Gameplay-wise, it’s a lot easier to observe an enemy’s telegraphed movesets if their model is scaled up. Helpful, in a game like Sekiro.
The ‘stances’ of the Sugars might fall into both these categories. They exist for both gameplay and story reasons. The developers wanted a lag between consuming these powerups and being free to fight, so the player is forced to time these powerups carefully. You need to avoid enemies taking a free hit while Wolf’s animations are occupied. Then they storified this gameplay-based lag into a lore-based reason. Wolf has to take a ‘stance’ when eating these candies to receive its powers. For some reason.
I wasn’t able to further research the ‘stances’ Wolf strikes. Maybe they’re based off of known martial arts. But the description also offers some additional insight; according to the game, these Sugars contain ‘excess karma’ that is apparently the source of their power. Now, Buddhist karma doesn’t run in ‘excess’, a better choice of word would be ‘transfiguration’. One person can experience another’s karma through a variety of means.
“Bite the candy and take the Yashariku stance to impart its inhuman benediction.” In accordance with Buddhist folklore, these warriors are dead and imitating them can impart their previous life’s karma unto you. Our recipe won’t have magical karma powers, but we can certainly infuse our candies with medicinal herbs. You can just imagine the Senpou monks stirring up a big pot of sugar solution, and throwing in handfuls of dried Goji berries.
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(This isn’t the first FromSoftware game that draws heavily from Buddhism. Dark Souls’ stagnant world of undeath is a rejection of Buddhist rebirth, clinging onto your legacy in a bid for immortality. Bloodborne decided to further explore the ‘time and madness’ angle of the same concept, while Sekiro went in the opposite direction to expand the ‘death and karma’ side.)
To make our Sugars; begin by first boiling the 1 cup of water with the corresponding flavor ingredients. Essentially, we’re making a batch of 10-20 candies with one flavor at a time, to make things easier on us. Ako’s Sugar requires you boil sliced ginger and dried lotus seeds, and so on.
After the water has been properly infused with the medicinal ingredients, strain the water and add it to another pot with the rest of the candy base ingredients, then boiling it all down until it reaches 300f. It’ll take a while, and you’ll notice that there’s gonna be a point where it seems like the temperature isn’t rising again. But keep at it; all the water needs to be boiled away. But the flavor will remain.
Once it reaches 300f, add the food coloring, and then keep boiling again until it reaches 310f. Then immediately take it off the heat and pour it into molds. Disk-shaped candy molds do exist, but you can easily make your own by pouring a lot of corn starch into a pan, then pressing a disk-shaped object (like another candy) into the starch to make indents. When you pour the candy mixture into a corn starch mold, you can use a spoon to gently and accurately fill each hole without distorting the powder. After perhaps three hours, the candies should be completely set and cool, and you can tumble away the powder and store the candies. Any mold method is gonna give the candies a flat side, but a true disk candy requires factory-standard molds that we don’t have.
We’re not using natural food colorings, ‘cause I tried my best to research natural alternatives that could retain their dye after boilings. And it was super hard, especially blue. Take it from me that Sekiro’s Sugars shouldn’t have been so brightly colored; intensely colored food did exist, but it was with things like powdered dried beets and matcha and pepper powder. Boiling these ingredients (rather than mixing it with dough or jelly) will change the colors drastically, sometimes completely bleaching it, or changing red to purple and so on.
As for the various medicinal ingredients; I took a gander in my mom’s soup-making cabinet and took stock of the medicinal herbs we ourselves use in our lives. The ones included in this recipe are some of the more commonly used ingredients of modern TCM.
Gokan’s Sugar, as a posture-retaining consumable, is described as a popular choice amongst shinobi hunters, a job that requires “a body with an unshakable core”. Ginger and lotus seeds are great for restoring energy through chi, a person’s lifeforce.
Ako’s Sugar raises your attack power. This candy actually proved one of the hardest to find medicines for, since, you know, most medicine is about preserving your health. Astragalus root increases energy and resistance to stress, and red cherries are a warming food according to TCM; warming meaning that its a yang property that further enhances your energy levels. (Keep in mind that food warmness-coolness is more about keeping those two in balance for optical health.)
Ungo’s Sugar reduces the amount of health Wolf loses. Very protection-centric, so we’re using ginseng, for longevity, and white peach slices for their heavy association with divinity. Both of these ingredients have some of the most well-known history in Asian food culture.
Yashariku’s Sugar is a double-edged sword, since it reduces both your health and posture so Wolf can be super powerful for a little bit. So you’re gonna add sake to the candy mixture around the 300f mark, and the dried cocklebur fruit is an immunity-boosting medicine ... but the plant is mildly toxic and can cause diarrhea. You know, Wolf gets super powerful and aggressive when taking this candy cause he needs to shit his brains out. Don’t worry; we’ve got this in our own pantry, and it personally doesn’t make my mom’s stomach upset, but it does me so it must range from person to person.
Gachiin’s Sugar makes you more stealthy, which I took to translate into ‘quieting your thoughts and emotions’. Like when you hold a baby and it can feel your own inner turmoil and starts to cry? Orange peel and goji berries restore your chi, your vision, an irregular heart rate, and stress.
Enjoy your candies! Pop them before tough situations like speaking before a big crowd, or having to wait in line at the DMV, or when you have to fight the Headless Ape for the first time. Tell your friends to stay away from the Senpou brand, so you don’t support their unethical practices.
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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years
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Lilies of the Valley XII
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A/B/O!BTS x Reader
Flowers can have different meanings depending on the flower shape, color, and method in which they are presented. Lilies are my favorite for such a simple flower can have so many distinct meanings.
“The scent of lily of the valley is considered by some to be the most attractive out of any wild flower.”
Release Date: 06/26/20 @  7 pm
previously
Trigger Warning: Some of the contents may not be suitable for all audiences. These include dubious consent, gas lighting, victim blaming/shaming, toxic relationship, and various forms of abuse as well as rationalization of said abuse.  This is a work of fiction and doesn’t represent the character of bangtan sonyeondan. Enjoy ~~~
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           YN hadn’t even realized she had fallen asleep, likely exhausted by the day’s events. What she did know is that the pain in her neck was killing her and that her bite mark felt like it was throbbing. When she shifts slightly her hand hits the door and all the memories came rushing back to her, in a weakened state she reached up, trying the doorknob again. Still locked. Her eyes stung and her vision was incredibly blurry from still being mostly asleep. Though from glancing at the clock, it seemed to be around three in the morning. YN yawned, crawling towards her bed in desperate need of actual rest. The second her head hit the pillow, she fell back asleep that’s when the nightmares began.
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           YN had a cotton blue blanket thrown over her shoulders, it had been given to her by the officer in charge the second she stepped foot inside the police station. Her right foot moved rapidly up and down, YN could hear her mother's voice echoing in her head. Telling her to stop shaking her foot, but she couldn't help it. YN didn't entirely understand what had happened, she knew the events leading up but most things were a blur. The only certain thing was the large bite on the right side of her body; where her shoulder met her neck. The person in front of her - the officer - looked like the stereotype: big, buff, likely an alpha though YN's nose was plugged. The stare he gave her was intimidating and YN felt like she was being interrogated for a crime rather than reporting one.
"We're going to have to go over what happened. Can you tell me where you went after the gym?" His voice was stained with a roughness that did not match his age. The officer's voice was almost as hard as his eyes. YN's eyes trailed to the pin on the left side right above his plaque. Officer Yang hadn't even bothered to introduce himself. "I was uncomfortable." Everyone knew. “I felt uncomfortable, so I went to change in the bathroom. Alone.” Yang wrote something down in the file, before glancing back up at her. His eyes disarmed her like he was trying to see through her. “That’s when your heat started and you met,” he looked down at the file again, “Jungkook?” YN nodded.
           “I just saw him and ran to him.” I felt a pull. There were somethings she couldn’t say, things that seemed crazy to her to even think. YN blamed it all on the heat, she wasn’t normally like this. “What did Jungkook say when he saw you in that state?” There was something in Yang’s eyes that alarmed YN, but she thought back to what exactly the young alpha had said. “YN. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” YN parted her lips to speak when Yang pointed the pen in his hand accusingly.
           “Did you know him before this?”
           “No, but…” I trusted him. YN clears her throat, "I knew of him." YN doesn't visibly shrink at the way she's being stared at. She knows it won't do her any favors, but it does make her look anywhere else rather than at the officer in front of her.  
           “I see.” Then, he looks back down at his file. “Please continue, Ms. YLN. What happened afterward?” The officer’s hand waved in a circular motion.
           “He offered to take me home, but I didn’t want to so we went to his place.”
Officer Yang slams shut the file folder but place his pen down carefully. The two actions entirely contradictory and it causes fear to spike in YN's body.
           “Are you aware that Jungkook has other mates?”
           YN nods, “Yes, but it wasn’t like that.” It wasn’t a betrayal. Jungkook didn’t appear to have a mating bond, even if he did. YN distinctly remembers him encouraging & reciprocating, something that doesn’t make much sense as he should be physically incapable.
           “But you were aware that Jungkook had just recently presented as an alpha? That his rut was right around the corner?”
           YN began to put the pieces together. The narrative the officer was trying to form and she wasn’t allowing it. Couldn’t allow it. “I didn’t. Not until later.” When we kissed. YN fisted the material of her jeans, she could feel her heart beginning to race and she urged it to relax.
           “What about the bite, how did that happen?”
As if sentient, the bite throbbed. There were still dried specks of blood surrounding it even though the team had tried to carefully disinfect it. They even gave her a pack filled with antibiotics and first aid essentials. "I felt extreme pain and then I woke up. I don't even really remember falling asleep." Though YN is aware that she went missing for three days, they're mostly a blur. YN can only remember key moments: those when her heat was the worst.  
           “So what you’re saying then is that you didn’t see who did it. Weren’t his mates in the house? Couldn’t it have been any of them?” Yang’s tone was bordering on frustration, aggression even, as if it were him and not her who had just been in a traumatic situation. YN doesn’t have her phone on her, it’s in her mother’s purse outside. She wishes she could show the texts, the calls, the voicemails: all of them from Jungkook. Him pleading at her to forgive him, to come back, to let him explain. It sounded more like desperate wails than a remorseful cry. “No, but -”
           “Not to mention it was consensual.”
           “I-i don’t understand.”
           Officer Yang looks around the room as if making sure no one was listening, then he leans in. The way one might when telling a secret, when sharing important information. YN shifts and feels the blanket sliding off her shoulder, her hands fly to it to adjust it. Her grip was strong and frightened. “Look this doesn't look too well. Yeah, you could take it to court but they aren't very favorable to people of your condition.” My condition? “Not to mention the fact that it would go on your record. Plus, alpha bites don't heal everyone knows that especially not on an omega.” YN felt the fight leave her body even her posture was as rigid as could be. “It’s not worth it, kid. Not worth tarnishing your reputation.”
           Not even a second passed before the door was open, an angry woman storming in. “What the fuck are you doing? You aren’t part of the special victims unit.” The woman looked furious, she was much taller than officer Yang and didn’t seem the least bit intimidated by the harsh glare directed at her. “I was following protocol. Christian asked me to step in.” Just like that, Yang stood up and left. Not bothering to spare YN a glance on his way out. Too riled up, the female officer had yet to notice YN’s appearance. The paleness of her skin, the stillness of her form, the lack of will to live in her eyes.
           "Hello, I'm Officer Kim. I'm with the special victim's division." Officer Kim waited to see if YN responded, instead of speaking YN only nodded curtly. Kim glared at the door, cursing Yang out in her head, "I'm sorry about him. He can be an ass sometimes." YN however remains unresponsive as tears begin to stream down her face. "Hey, are you alright?" YN nods again though almost unperceptively this time.
“I’m very sorry for what’s occurred to you, YN. But I want you to know it isn’t your fault and that we are here to help.” Officer Kim sent a comforting smile, trying to ease YN’s nerves. YN remained silent, her grip on the blue blanket thrown around her shoulders was so strong her fingers were white. The officer sighed, tilting her head slightly to send a look to the people behind the screen. When she looked back at YN, all she saw was the teenager’s glassy widened eyes. It had been an accident, a terrible one, but teenagers tended to be reckless. If the gruesome bite on YN’s neck was anything to show for it.  
“Do you want to press charges?”
YN shook her head, caving in on herself even more. Jungkook's sorry wails still echoed in her head. It didn't matter, what's done is done. YN looked up to meet the officer Kim's warm golden eyes. Her lips parted and she could see the anticipation building up in the cop's face only for there to be a disappointment once YN spoke.
“I just want to go home.”
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 YN felt warmth radiating from her sides, as well as the rhythmic thudding of a heart near her ear. YN couldn’t exactly tell who was next to her, their scent muted, though it was probably done purposefully. When YN’s eyes finally peeled open they met Seokjin’s dark ones. His arms were wrapped around her torso, whilst Taehyung’s legs were coiled around hers. It feels like a contest between her and the alpha seeing who will break first, YN almost expects it to be her until he finally speaks.
“How did you sleep last night?”
YN wasn't expecting that. Wasn't expecting them to pretend as if nothing happened. Or did they see nothing wrong with locking her inside the room? YN struggled to believe that, they wouldn't have been in her bed if it wasn't check up on her - to make sure she stayed there. What about the police sirens? Had Rosé contacted them after YN’s text? Truth be told YN couldn’t remember where her phone was, but it must be in the room.
“I slept well. What about you?”
Seokjin didn’t bother replying, it didn’t seem like he cared to. All he did was smile at her, a polite one that didn’t reach his eyes. From beside her, Taehyung groaned then his eyes opened staring at YN intensely. The two men simply observed YN and the longer it went on for the more unnerved she felt. Like they were waiting for something to happen. Once again, the second YN was about to speak they threw her for a whiplash.
“We’re having you move into the main house. There’s been a lot of robberies around the area recently and we don’t think it’s safe for you to be so far away.” Taehyung’s voice didn’t sound rough or sleepy at all, his appearance wasn’t disheveled either. Neither was Seokjin’s. YN wondered if they had been pretending to sleep just to lull her into a false sense of security. They were probably waiting for me to wake up. YN was exhausted from having to put up a front around the men, but if that’s what it took to get them off her back then so be it.
YN forced a small smile on her face, “What room?”
“Our room,” Seokjin replied, not missing a beat.
Taehyung didn’t even give YN time to process anything for he stood up and pulled her along with him. “You have a guest waiting.”
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When YN sees Rosé she almost cries tears of joy but holds them back as she can feel eyes on her figure. Rosé as well shoots YN a look but rushes towards her nonetheless, embracing YN in a tight hug. "I missed you so much. It's been forever since we spoke." YN knows at that moment that her best friend feels it too. Feels the eyes and ear likely plastered on the walls, YN wouldn't be surprised to find out there are hidden cameras around the house. "I'm sorry Rosé, I've just been busy." Rosé lets go of YN but does lace their hands together. YN squeezes Rosé's fingers three times. "That's not an excuse not to talk to me. You know I can't go more than one second without you or I die." YN couldn't help but giggle at how overdramatic Rosé was being for her sake. For the first time in a long time, YN felt safe again then it was taken from her again.
“I didn’t know you were coming today, Rosé.” Jimin’s head popped around the corner, the charming smile plastered on his face sure to make anyone swoon. Jimin walked towards them, stopping next to YN and wrapping his arm around her waist. It was a power move. Then, he kissed the corner of her lip YN was unable to do anything about it. Rosé, not missing a beat, responds casually. “Sorry I just missed YN a lot and I was around the area.”
“Ah, Lucas lives around here doesn’t he?”
Rosé looked a bit shocked but nodded. “Yeah. Do you know him?” She cast YN a glance, but YN was just as confused as her.
"Yeah, he went to our school." Jimin then turned to YN, "Don't you remember Wong Lucas? He was close to Kookie." YN read between the lines, but it seems Rosé didn't. "Oh, that's great." YN turned back to face her friend who was conversing with Jimin about her new boyfriend. YN felt a pit grow in her stomach. Their threats were no longer subtle, Jimin had all but implied that Lucas in their field. Lucas: the man who caused Rosé's eyes to shine and cheeks to dust just by speaking about him. Now that YN was in far too deep was when she realized how meticulously they must have planned. Her supposed mates weren't just bad, they were machiavellian levels of evil.
“Alright, then it’s set.” Jimin clapped his hands, drawing YN’s attention out of her thoughts.
“What?”
Jimin smile was sadistic, "Rosé and Lucas are going to join us for dinner tonight. Won't that be fun? A double date of sorts." Seeing Rosé nod enthusiastically YN finds that no one can help but to fall prey to Jimin's charms.
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In her search for Namjoon, YN stumbled upon Yoongi and Hoseok arguing in the office. At least that is what she assumed until she got closer. “What is the right way then?!” Hoseok was screaming into a phone as Yoongi was sitting on his lap trying to calm him down, massaging his neck. Whoever it was they were speaking to on the other line must’ve said something to make them mad, for YN only saw the alpha this riled up when he felt that his pack was threatened. Yoongi sighed, leaning in closer to the phone and listening to what the other person had to say. There was a visible pout on his face and Hoseok tried to kiss it away. They both listened intently to the other person before Yoongi dejectedly muttered, “Nothing we do will ever be enough.”
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YN was beginning to wonder if bad luck would always follow her, she had been actively avoiding the lead alpha since yesterday. Not wanting to be alone with any of them, except maybe Jungkook, until she figured everything out. Until YN could understand why Namjoon had bitten her and why Jungkook had taken the blame. It seems ironic that when she would confront Namjoon, the two of them would be together. YN had planned on slamming the door open, but it was already slightly open. Though truly it was the moans that stopped her. High, whiny moans that exited Jungkook’s mouth as Namjoon pounded into him. There wasn’t much that YN could see considering the sheets that covered them and how Namjoon’s large frame obscured them.
She should have walked away. Should have moved and pretended not to see anything, but YN was frozen in place. Right on Jungkook’s neck was a fresh bite mark, the wound still bleeding slightly. It matched the one on Namjoon’s bicep though that one hadn’t broken skin. That wasn’t what caught YN’s attention though - at least not for long. It was the tattoo on Jungkook’s left breast: two lilies, one tilted towards the right with the bottom one facing forward. It was her tattoo. The one on her shoulder. Jungkook had the same tattoo as her.
YN turned to run away, but she crashed into a solid figure. Shakingly her eyes traveled upwards and met with Seokjin. Please don’t. YN struggled against him, but Seokjin didn’t release her. His left hand gripped her wrist tightly and with his right, he slammed the door open causing the pair of lovers to stop what they were doing. “Stop. Let go of me.” Seokjin didn’t listen, pushing YN inside before stepping in and closing the door behind him. Jungkook was covering himself with the bedsheets and Namjoon had pulled on pants amidst her struggle with the alpha. Now that Namjoon was facing her YN saw the same tattoo on him and she wondered if all of them had it. If it had been some sick bonding thing.
Finally, she breaks. “You’re all sick! Sick in the head! You planned all of this, you planned it all.” Seokjin’s grip doesn’t break and YN fails to notice her yelling has drawn the attention of the other members. “You took advantage of me. You stalked me and studied all to complete some stupid fucking bond that probably doesn’t exist.” YN swore she heard the betas whimper, but she didn’t give a damn. Namjoon’s face remains stoic though based on how tight his jaw has locked the words must hurt him. Good.
“Who told you that?”
The bastard wasn’t even trying to deny it. That only infuriated YN more, “Yoongi told me, said you saw me in the field at school. In the lily field.” All of them stiffen. Namjoon sighs, running his hand through his hair tugging at it. He signals for Seokjin to let go of her and YN doesn’t realize just how much he’d been supporting until YN falls to the ground. “Please leave.” At his words, the betas along with Jungkook exit the room none of them daring to disobey. The door closes behind them with a click and YN’s senses feel on edge being surrounded by only alphas. Seokjin moves to take a seat on the bed and Hoseok stands behind YN, blocking the door.
Namjoon crouches in front of her, his eyes blank and empty. “You have two options: you can stay locked in this house, in this room, until you grow to love us. Or you could stop pretending and complete the bond.”
YN is shocked, “Pretending?”
“Lily, I knew from the second I saw you that we were meant to be. That you were the one we’ve been missing, the only reason you don’t feel it is because you’re an omega.”
“If you knew the second you saw me, why didn’t you approach me?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Because we had been told time and time again that you wouldn’t feel the bond because you were an omega,” Namjoon yelled, his hands shaking as he tried to make YN understand. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to. “That your sub-gender was incapable of reciprocating it as a means of survival. That you would never love us the way we loved you, not unless it was forced.”
"Oh for fuck's sake Namjoon, I had a crush on you for an entire year. The only reason I never acted on it was that I knew you had mates." Suddenly everything Namjoon had said came forth, "What do you mean my sub-gender I hadn't presented yet." Then, with widened eyes and newfound horror: "You knew?"
Namjoon didn’t bother replying, YN could decipher everything just from the way his expression shifted from anger to pity. YN felt the room begin to get smaller, closing in on her, it became increasingly difficult to breathe. Namjoon tried to hold her, but she pushed him away fearing he would make it worse. YN panicked, she wasn’t breathing. Couldn’t breathe. As her mates crowded around her trying to calm her down, YN wished for it all to end.
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When she came to it was in a different room: Jungkook’s. The main himself stood over her, observing her with waves of apathy coming off him. His gaze trailed slowly across her body taking in every tiny detail, but it focused on her neck. YN’s hand latched onto her bite mark and was relieved to find an old scar instead of a fresh wound.
"You bit me," Jungkook stated, fixing YN with a pointed stare. "Technically it was more of a nibble, barely even nicked me, but for a newly presented alpha amid his rut - it was more than enough." YN didn't understand what Jungkook was saying, but he placed his finger on her lips before she could get a word out. "I went into a frenzy. I wanted to bite you. To mate with you even though a part of me knew I shouldn't. I couldn't control myself." He took a seat next to YN's head. "It took all six of them to restrain me and even once I was out of the room they weren't sure I would be able to control myself. Not to mention someone had to stay with you because heats, especially the first one, can be a dangerous thing."
"No one wanted to volunteer though, none of them felt they could control themselves either. It wasn't for lack of will or want. It was instinct. So, it fell on Namjoon's shoulders." Jungkook shrugs, "After the fact, Namjoon states he doesn't remember what happened. We wanted to apologize, to explain, but when we went to check up on you again...you were gone." Jungkook refuses to look at YN, but she can tell by the way his eyes shine that he's holding back tears. "I won't even attempt to explain what that felt like. We had mated, become one, and you ran away. What hurt most wasn't that the rejection, but that you weren't even aware of what you were doing."
A singular tear falls and YN can no longer tell if Jungkook is attempting to manipulate her or being genuine. “I took the blame because it was my fault. I should have controlled myself better. Had I, none of this would’ve happened. We could’ve been together and my mates wouldn’t be suffering.”
YN couldn’t stand it anymore. “Jungkook?” The young alpha’s eyes were full of love, adoration, and unhealthy infatuation. “I wish I never met you. Any of you.”
Just like that, it was gone, YN could begin to understand why Jungkook was one of them. They were all so similar, the way they could flip a switch and become different people. Jungkook laughed, hysterically so, it lasted several minutes but once his laughter died down was when YN truly feared for her life.
“I'm sorry YN, but I'll bite you myself if that's what it takes. Dr. Kang says that one the partial bond is completed that you'll feel the bond. That you'll be with us.”
“And if I don’t?”
“The doctor you went to see called the cops & stated that she was worried about the nature of our relationship. That's why they were here yesterday night. We might've mentioned that there is a beta couple that is allowing an unmated omega to live with them illegally.” Rosé!
Jungkook snickered, “Don't worry she's staying with Lucas. Also before you go thinking about making any rash decisions a partial bond can't be broken. Theoretically, it is something that can only occur between mates. Don’t try to break it you might die.” Then he clapped his hands together as if having realized something. “Not to mention what it would mean for your family if you ran away. Shuhua's family is an incredibly old school & I'd doubt they'd want to associate w/ people like that. Might just cancel the whole wedding.”
“You bastards. You planned all of this didn't you?!”
"No. Most of the time we just got really lucky. You can't outwit fate, lily."
YN felt pathetic, she’d fallen so easily into their trap and there was no way out. YN needed a way out. Desperately, she did the only thing she could think of. “Let’s just start over Jungkook. We can leave the past behind and get to know each other from scratch. I’ll forget about everything and try. Please Jungkook.”
He shook his head, “We’ve waited too long to start all over.” That was all it took. The final words needed to crush YN’s hope. She felt her heart whither and her bite throb.
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Jungkook had left YN alone after that, leaving her to waste away as she stared into the ceiling. Wondering who she had wronged in her past life to be deserving of so much pain. In those dark moments, YN realized there was something far more terrifying than be surrounded by delusional men - the fact that she had surrendered. There was no way for her to escape. Even if she managed to leave the house the authorities would send her right back or place her into the boarding house to be sold off. There was no winning. YN couldn't win.
A knock on the door drew her back down to the earth she so desperately wanted an escape from. Taehyung peered inside and YN was thankful it wasn’t Jungkook again. “You have to get ready. Going on a date remember?” When YN doesn’t reply, Taehyung walks over his steps light. YN thinks he’s going to be upset until the beta scoops her off the bed, cradling her in his arms. “Oh, lily. I know it’s scary, but I promise you. It isn’t. You’ll feel it. Feel happiness.” Taehyung tenderly kisses her forehead and carries her to the bathroom. By the time YN comes out, he has left and a white silk dress is laid on the bed.
           Namjoon is the only one dressed and that worries her. The rest of them are in the living room preparing to wave them off. “We figured it be best not to cause such an uproar,” Namjoon explains, YN knows that isn’t true as they’ve never cared about that before but agrees nonetheless.
           “Have fun!”
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"Who wants dessert?" Lucas asks and Rosé agrees enthusiastically, YN on the other hand can barely manage to finish her food. Rosé meets her gaze and YN can see some regret in them, but its quickly replaced by annoyance. YN darts her eyes back to her plate of food and Namjoon squeezes her hand gently.  
           “Why can’t you see how lucky you are? You don’t have to worry about anything. You have people who love you and protect you, whilst all you can do is complain. I get that you don’t reciprocate their feelings, but isn’t feeling safe so much more important?! You have a roof over your head. You went to a good school and will probably pop out beta and alpha pups.”
           YN grabs her glass of water and chugs it down, trying to swallow back the sob threatening to escape.
“Yet all you can do is throw yourself a pity party because you’re an omega. Grow up and stop looking down on yourself.”
Rosé hadn’t approached it the right way, hadn’t meant to be so cruel. Or maybe she had. Still, she was right and YN knew it. From Rosé’s point of view, YN had been given everything an omega could ever want. Everything anyone could ever need and she was throwing it away for trivial matters. There were others out there having it a lot worse - Rosé included. If it didn’t work out with Lucas then she would be forced to go with her brother. The only reason it wouldn’t work out with Lucas would be because of YN. She couldn’t do that to her friend. It was time, she stopped.
YN squeezed Namjoon’s hand signaling to him that she wanted to leave. “I’m sorry, but I think its time for us to go.” The lead alpha smiled, dimples on full display. “It was a pleasure meeting you though, we should do this again.” Lucas nodded, “Of course. We had fun.” YN nodded forcing a smile on for pleasantries. Rosé didn’t bother to look at YN and she was beyond thankful for that, not thinking she would be able to hold back her tears if she did.
 The streets were practically empty, so the ride wouldn’t take as long. Still, YN counted every second working up the courage to accept her fate. In the middle seat of the row, lay their hands intertwined, and much like how their bond worked, YN felt it was meant to be a display of control rather than something comforting. There was no point in fighting it anymore, there was no winning against fate.
“Bite me.”
Namjoon whirled his head, seemingly caught off guard by what YN had asked. The space between his brows wrinkled by a frown. Before Namjoon could speak, before YN could talk herself out it, she kissed him. YN moved to straddle him and their kisses grew more intense as time passed. One kiss is patient, selfless, hopeful, and kind. One kiss was jealous, selfish, helpless, & blind. And they would continue that way until YN leaned to the side peppering kisses on Namjoon's neck - baring hers.
“Please.”
It was a broken whisper, YN wasn’t even sure what she was asking for anymore but Namjoon did. The alpha kissed her neck three times before opening his mouth and biting down on her neck. YN felt little trials of warm blood escape as Namjoon licked at the wound. The pain was intense. It felt like fire was traveling through her veins, crawling its way towards her heart attempting to reach it. YN held off for as long as could before, finally clamping down on Namjoon’s scent gland and biting harshly. Suddenly the pain was gone and YN felt a euphoric bliss that couldn’t be explained. YN didn’t know if it was the bond or if she had finally lost her mind.
With blood-stained lips and frenzied looks in their eyes, Namjoon and YN kiss once more. Seiling their fate and completing the bond.
                                                   THE END
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oh-boy-me · 4 years
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Demon Outfits Discussed
The wait is over :) thank you for your patience and all the lovely comments on the casual discussion!!
I feel like it got longer this time, so I hope it’s all an enjoyable read!  Also, I apologize for the ugly pictures--it was the easiest and fastest way to both have all the design in one image and also prevent it from stretching so far.
Like last time, please don’t take this too seriously; we love these boys and Justin doesn’t know them but has no grudges against them.  We’re just harping on their fashion sense.  Absolutely no hate is intended towards the boys or the design team!
Participants in the discussion were
Jo ( @jodaneko ), our art major with storyboarding/character design experience, who finds they have more in common with Satan each passing day.
Justin ( @justinlester0629 ), our fashion expert, who dressed up and filled a wine glass with water for the occasion.
Noodle (Me), our untrained eye who owns the Barbie as the Island Princess video game on three different platforms.  It’s not even that good.
Featuring emergency guest star Megan ( @maggo77​ ), my sister who is physically near me as we look at the backs of their designs for the first time.
Edit: Distracted by the pretty jacket, we made a mistake when putting in Levi’s silhouette rating.  It’s the worst.  2/10, not 6.
Lucifer:
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“Boy looks like he’s about to swing open the doors of an expensive mansion during a debutante party and give some SCATHING NEWS.” —Justin
“Short shoulder cape and a long split butt cape lol” —Jo
Jo has realized that based on both outfits, Lucifer doesn’t want people looking at his butt.  Possible reasons are: he doesn’t have one, or Diavolo someone was getting distracted.
His shoes match his outfit.  After last time that’s all I care about.
A triple popped color, and how many layers is the middle one?  Is that a book?  Dude has like 27 collars.
The forehead diamond is very important and it’s great that there are diamond buttons to match it.  But uh.  How about those red diamonds on his sleeves.  They.  They sure are there.  (I actually like the red accents and that they match his gloves; I just can’t take the diamonds seriously.)
  Lucifer 🤝 Some Horses Diamond on the Forehead
The peacock motif is HERE and we’re all living for it.  HOWEVER, the feathers on the cape and coattails should have matched, OR there should have been more lime green because there’s so little of that color.
The pants have a pleat in the front, which Justin says means he responsibly irons his clothes, and Jo says only heightens the fact that under the capes this is a marching uniform.
Can he fly?  Jo says these are baby wings that can’t support his weight, and his cape has a hole for the top pair but blocks the bottom pair?  Can’t believe Lucifer handicapped himself for the sake of fashion.
The red makes it regal and the wide flowy design makes it imposing.  Good job, Lucifer!  I might actually be intimidated if I saw you.
Definitely the classiest outfit.  You can tell they put care into it.
Mammon:
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“BITCH MY BODY CANNOT TAKE THIS KIND OF SEXY, I THINK I AM OVERHEATING!  NO MORE FURTHER COMMENTS, YOUR HONOR.  HAUTE AND HOT.” —Justin
The whole thing does amazing with only three colors.  We’ve noticed the trend of black and white + one color, but I mean hey.  It’s working so far.
Damn those pants sit low.  No wonder literally all of you wear belts.
The leather jacket?  The studs and harness?  Bless.  Justin calls it “the perfect blend of stylish and ‘I’ll see you tonight *wink*’”.
Kind of don’t like how the belts connect to the pants, though.  It looks better in the back.
“He found a really cool jacket, but it didn’t pair with anything so he just didn’t wear anything.” —Jo
Honestly though?  We’ve all made fun of Mammon for having big hoe energy in his outfits, but like, he knew he had wings and planned his outfit to accommodate for that.  He’s the only one who didn’t cut holes in his outfit.  Maybe Mammon was the smallest hoe after all.
Also if there’s a motif it repeats elsewhere, like the studs and diamonds on his jacket and pants.  Did he and Lucifer have a “tastefully putting diamonds on my outfit” battle?  Because Mammon definitely won.
One of the charms broke off the belt loop and he never bothered to replace it, and honestly thank god there isn’t two of those anymore.
Torn between wishing the boots were tighter to match the rest of the outfit and saying “yoooo they’re open in the back!!!”
Ok so so far we’ve said generally only good things, but there is one major issue with the design: Its gravity.  Everything points down, his tattoos, the diamonds, even his wings.  The center of gravity in the image is his shoes.  Bitch loved his shoes so much he made his whole outfit point to them.
Either way this was universally considered the best and I mourn Justin who doesn’t know how far Mammon’s standards are gonna fall from here.
Leviathan:
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Diagonal zipper
“Levi what the fuck.” —Megan
He looks like an e-boy.
Honestly it looks like he borrowed something from Justin’s wardrobe for Pride but he didn’t know how to put it on.
APPARENTLY the biggest hoe.  Abs that he shouldn’t have coming through a mesh t-shirt.  I thought Mammon’s pants were low, but Levi’s whole-ass ass is out.  Ok Levi, I see you.
The shirt pattern is good but he probably leaves it partially unzipped because it’d look really dumb fully closed.
Justin loves the funky pants pattern and Jo likes the pants but not with the outfit.  It’s because the devs were too coward to give him a thick tail base so his pants had to fill that role by sharing the pattern.
The shoes are good, and not just because they incited Justin’s deep-set hatred for Christian Louboutin and his uncomfortable red-bottom shoes.
Justin is offended that he’s hiding his suspenders; either show them completely or not at all, no in between.  Jo’s not fully convinced it isn’t just one suspender.  What are his suspenders doing?  What are they attached to?  Are they holding anything up?  Apparently not.
Jo pointed out that if you squint the belt on his waist looks like fangs and the orange dots on his sleeves looks like eyes so it’s like theres a snake head on his outfit.  Cute!
The gloves are throwing us off though.  Why is Levi of all other brothers need gloves?  I bet he has sweaty hands.
Ok really, does his sweater unzip all the way into two pieces?  Or does it hang by that tiny thread underneath the tail hole?  There’s even a button, just in case.
Can’t believe this antler-sporting, suspender-wasting nerd went diagonal zipper on us because we beat him at a trivia game.  Should have just zipped his hood.
Satan:
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HONEY.
“I hate everything about this.” —Megan
First of all, he’s straight up wearing Lucifer’s casual shirt.  Does it only button down the back?  Can he take it off?
Then he spilled bleach on his pants.  Like I get what they were going for but with the white on black that is literally just bleach stains.
Incredibly differing opinions on the belt.  He got it in the cowboy department.  Justin adores it.  Jo despises it.
And are those… athletic slip ons?
And now the elephant in the room.  The ribcage made of ribbons.  The ribboncage.  The idea is great!  I love that they gave him a skeletal theme without throwing him into a Hot Topic.
But if you take the ribboncage and feather boa off he’s literally just wearing a dress shirt and some nice jeans.  And that’s the problem with Satan’s demon form.  Not that it looks goofy.  It’s that they took risks but then hid all the risks behind business casual.
Also Megan said that the back of the ribbons look like a rock climbing harness.  Someone (probably Justin) said the front reminds them of the underbelly of a green cockroach.  Ew.
The feather boa would look better if it was over something you wouldn’t literally wear at the office.  (And also didn’t look so much like worm on a string.)
“He is going to Dragcon 2020 and is definitely going to take a picture and ask to lip sync, but accidentally start beef with Acid Betty.” —Justin
On a good note, loving how the tail fades to highly radioactive green.  Feels dangerous.  Megan pointed out that it’s a pretty wimpy tail, though.  Jo enjoys the self-conscious posture it expresses.
That’s basically the only good thing we have to say, though.
I just????
Merry Christmas.
Asmodeus:
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The kanji on the picture is just saying that the coattail is the same on both sides.
Ok now with that out of the way, HONEY.
I’m sure he says that to others but I hope he says it to himself too when he looks in the mirror.
Starting with the good.  The wings?  Adorable.  The heart-shaped hole to accommodate them?  Adorable.  One of the only good adjustments.
And I love that the tips of his horns look venomous, like a scorpion tail!
We love a good floral design and a good twin tailcoat.
But once again, the shirt just has too much going on.  The flowers.  The buttons.  The brick-pattern stitching.  The brooch.  The long collar.  The fact that if he closed the last button it’d end in a diamond covering his crotch.  Sometimes less is more, Asmo.
That scorpion brooch is the best thing to ever grace my computer screen and it shouldn’t have to share the spotlight with the rest of his shirt.  It should have wrapped around his arm and been paired with some more jewelry.  Then he could have ditched those giant cuffs.
The bleeding heart tattoos are a really good idea!  But they should have been angled better and not like someone else put them on at the roller rink.  And maybe they shouldn’t have been outlined in pink.  Those aren’t tattoos, those are gaping holes in his arm.  Is he ok.
I’ve been avoiding the pants, but.  The pants.
“Oh dear god. Oh no that’s… I thought you were a designer…” —Jo
One side is buckled the ENTIRE way down, and then the other side is COMPLETELY plain.  It’s too extreme on both ends.  It should have been only half a leg of buckles.  Not whatever this is.  I still don’t think he can bend that leg.
The shoes are ok but they COULD have been a stiletto so.
Jo is DONE with these demons’ inability to wear socks.
We expected better from you, Asmo.  I hope you have to fasten all those buckles every morning as retribution.
Beelzebub:
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He said “how many belts can I wear on one outfit.”
Justin said it’s like Barry B. Benson and Post Malone had a beautiful baby boy, and Obey Me! is cancelled for creating a sequence of events that could lead to me hearing that with my own two ears.
The jacket?  Stunning.  “It’s steampunk mixed with Jack Sparrow, mixed with Billie Joe Armstrong,” says Justin.  It’s got puffy sleeves!  And there’s objectively too much going on with the jacket, but since it’s a leather jacket I can forgive it.  Justin and Jo can’t.
I’m not sure why they keep giving him weird jacket collars but I prefer belt number 9 to fur.
“Why is it bucked in the back?  Couldn’t it have just been a jacket?” —Megan
Good that the black tank isn’t only black, but he has so little color on his outfit that it would have been nice for it and the matching pattern on his boots to have been a color besides gray.
I don’t mind the belts down the leg because they’re not too in your face.  Jo wants the white belt to be thinner.  Justin wants him to just pick one and go with it.
Poor Beel, he can’t do his lil thigh pat pose without his right hand being assaulted by studs and that bear trap-shaped buckle.
Justin feels like the cowboy boots are too wide up top and it’s probably because they’re FAKE cowboy boots.  I don’t know why he didn’t just get cowboy boots instead of putting fake coverings over his dress shoes.
Can’t fault the twin belt, though.  And the wing hole isn’t terrible.
Idk I guess.  They knew what they wanted to do at least.  
That seems to be the pattern with Beel: they know what they want to do, but something weird happens in the middle of it.
Belphegor:
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“I don’t know which Teletubby let their son go through the it’s just a phase mom phase, but they should be ashamed.” —Justin
A toddler who just learned how to cut holes in paper got a hold of his hoodie.
Is it a hoodie?  A jacket?  A poncho?  The cow print actually isn’t terrible.  At least it had the decency to be unique in its spotting.  And the actual presence of blue is very appreciated.
On the topic of colors, Jo is calling the devs out on their apparent fear of color.  “Put the pink elsewhere, cowards,” they say.
We actually don’t hate the horseshoe, and using it for the belt buckles is actually really clever.  Even if 75% of them are doing literally nothing.  Feel like he didn’t need that many.  Could do without the bottom one, maybe even bottom two.
There’s a teeeeny tiny cowbell on the back?  Megan apparently finds that VERY important.  Why do they go to such great lengths to remind us that Belphie’s a cow?  Beel doesn’t rub his hands together 24/7.  Mammon doesn’t even get bird wings.
Just like Satan spilled bleach, Belphie has tar pants.
It’s nice to see a change in pant style, but.  Am I biased because I hate harem pants?  Maybe.  Are these harem pants too short on him?  Yes.  Maybe they were supposed to be parachute capris?  But it just looks he outgrew them too fast and Lucifer won’t buy him new pants yet.  At least they look comfy.
If he puts his keys in those pockets will his pants fall down?  Probably.  That’s a problem considering his are the only pants that look like they could hold any keys.
The shoes are fine.  I can enjoy a high topped sneaker.  …Is that a security tag?  Did he steal his shoes.  Belphie stole his shoes.
On the tiny tail hole, I appreciate that Belphie went for modesty.  But I hope it’s impossible to wear these outfits outside of demon form because I don’t want him walking around with a tiny hole right above his ass.
Honestly he doesn’t even look like a demon?  He just looks like… a cow.
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There’s one more aspect of their demon forms that I didn’t feel comfortable forcing into a smaller space than it deserved: Silhouettes.  Jo puts a lot of weight on silhouettes and their role in character design.  Is it dynamic?  Is it recognizable?  Jo ranked them as such:
1. Lucifer: 9/10.  Care and effort were put into this design and it shows. 2. Mammon: 7/10.  Points deducted for most of it being form fitting but otherwise still manages to get a passing grade. 3 (tied). Beelzebub: 5/10.  His wings have actual mass but his horns being mostly hidden by his head reduce his score. 3 (tied). Belphegor: 5/10.  Evens out since his clothes aren’t as form fitting as the others but they also kind of turn him into a blob. 5. Asmodeus: 4/10, and only because he’s got multiple wings and that his tailcoat breaks up the bottom half. 6. Satan: 3/10, for the fact HIS BOA carries most of the work in altering his silhouette. 7. Leviathan: 2/10.  The tail and horns prevent this from being a total flop.
Our (surprisingly unanimous!) ranking of their outfits (not counting Megan her opinions deviated) were:
Mammon
Lucifer
Leviathan
Belphegor
Beelzebub
Asmodeus
Satan
In conclusion, any M-rated fic that doesn’t have it take demon Satan 20 minutes to take off his shirt is too unrealistic.
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flclarchives · 3 years
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Amusing Himself to Death, an Akadot.com interview with Kazuya Tsurumaki (director of FLCL and assistant director of Evangelion) from around December 2001. In the article, Tsurumaki explains a few things about Evangelion, his mentality behind FLCL as a whole, and the meaning of the name ‘FLCL’.
Full article text is under the cut, or read the article in its original form [here].
Kazuya Tsurumaki was a relatively little-known animator when Hideki Anno selected him to work as the assistant director on Neon Genesis Evangelion. For the TV series, which became a smash hit in Japan and one of the touchstones of the current surge of interest in anime in the US, Tsuramaki served as the main storyboard artist as well as assistant director, and when Studio Gainax began production on a trio of Evangelion films Tsurumaki got his first directorial assignment.
As he tells the story, Anno came to him after Eva and announced that he was out of ideas and that it was up to Tsurumaki to dream up the next project because, "you are next." Tsurumaki let his imagination run wild, but by the time he had written a script, Anno - despite his declaration that he had no stories left to tell - was already several steps ahead of Tsurumaki and in pre-production for his next series, Kareshi Kanojo no Jijo, leaving Tsurumaki a chance to have complete and unsupervised creative control of his own series FLCL.
FLCL, referred to as "Fooly Cooly" (or "Furikuri" by its American fans), is unlike any anime series to come before it. Wild, maniacally fast-paced physical comedy; exaggerated, exuberant animation alternately pushing towards surrealist- as when mecha exuviate from a bump on young Naota's head - and deconstructionist - as when the animation literally stops and the story is told by a camera bouncing across a page of black and white manga art panels; and obsessively, often irrelevantly, referential to obscure Tokyo-pop bands and anime insider trivia; FLCL was hyperkinetic and disorienting, yet mesmerizing, almost transgressive, and undeniably original. It inspired enthusiastic admiration for Tsurumaki as a creator, even amongst the perhaps 90% of the series' fans who were absolutely baffled by much of it. One is tempted to refer to it as announcing the arrival of full blown post-modernism in animation, or perhaps as the Exploding Plastic Inevitable of the anime industry.
When Tsurumaki visited Baltimore to speak to American fans at the recent Otokon Convention, predictably, many of the questions were along the lines of, "Hi, I really loved FLCL [or Evangelion], but could you please explain this part of it to me?"
Tsurumaki answered all questions genially with a self-deprecating and often mischievous sense of humor. For example:
Why does Haruko hit Naota over the head with her guitar?
Kazuya Tsurumaki: Naota is trying to be a normal adult and she belts him to make him rethink his decision.
Why does Evangelion end violently, and somewhat unhappily?
KT: People are accustomed to sweet, contrived, happy endings. We wanted to broaden the genre, and show people an ugly, unhappy ending.
Why is the character of Shinji portrayed as he is?
KT: Shinji was modeled on director Hideki Anno. Shinji was summoned by his father to ride a robot, Anno was summoned by Gainax to direct an animation. Working on Nadia [Nadia: Secret of the Blue Water, one of Anno and Tsurumaki's earlier projects] he wondered if he still wanted to work like this. He thought that working on Eva could help him to change.
Is there any particular reason why so many Gainax series feature very anxious, unhappy young male protagonists with no parents?
KT: Yes, the directors at Gainax are all basically weak, insecure, bitter, young men. So are many anime fans. Many Japanese families, including my own, have workaholic fathers whose kids never get to see them. That may influence the shows I create.
Could you explain the mecha bursting from Naota's head in FLCL?
KT: I use a giant robot being created from the brain to represent FLCL coming from my brain. The robot ravages the town around him, and the more intensely I worked on FLCL the more I destroyed the peaceful atmosphere of Gainax.
Why doesn't FLCL follow one story?
KT: In the third episode Ninamori was almost a main character, a kid who, like Naota, has to act like an adult.  After episode three her problem was solved so we wrote her out.  She has many fans in Japan and we got plenty of letters about that decision.  For FLCL I wanted to portray the entire history of Gainax, and each episode has symbols of what happened behind the scenes on each of Gainax's shows.   Episode one has many elements of Karekano; episode two, a lot of Evangelion references, etc.
Where does the title FLCL come from?
KT: I got the idea from a CD in a music magazine with the title Fooly-Cooly.  I like the idea of titles that are shortened long English words. Pokémon for "Pocket-Monsters" for instance, and an old J-pop band called Brilliant Green that was known as "Brilly-Grilly."
Is there any reason why the extra scenes added to Eva for the video release were cut in the first place?  Did you think the story would mean something different with them intact?
KT: The scenes that were added to Eva for its video release aren't that important.  We added them as an apology for taking so long to get the video out.  Maybe they'll help people understand things, because the episodes were done under tough deadlines the first time around.
Can you explain the symbolism of the cross in Evangelion?
KT: There are a lot of giant robot shows in Japan, and we did want our story to have a religious theme to help distinguish us.   Because Christianity is an uncommon religion in Japan we thought it would be mysterious.  None of the staff who worked on Eva are Christians.  There is no actual Christian meaning to the show, we just thought the visual symbols of Christianity look cool.  If we had known the show would get distributed in the US and Europe we might have rethought that choice.
After the panel, Mr. Tsurumaki sat down to speak with Akadot.
Do you enjoy confusing people?
KT: I have a twisted sense of humor.  I'm an Omanu Jacku, a contrarian.  [Writer's note- Omanu Jacku is a folk character a bit like Puck, a mischief maker]
What do you see differently now that you're working as a director rather than only as a visual artist?
KT: As an animator I have only the art; as a director story is really big.  I still feel as an animator and I often have trouble putting the needs of the story first.
Did you intend from the start for FLCL to be as bizarre as it wound up?
KT: From the very start I wanted a different flavor.  To achieve this I had to re-train the animators to be as stylized as I wanted them to be because I wasn't drawing it.  I knew that not everyone would get it.  I deliberately selected very obscure J-pop culture and anime sub-culture jokes and references.  Because Eva was so somber I always intended to make FLCL outrageous and wacky.
Why the choice to break out of conventional animation and use manga pages? Was it at all a response to how many anime are using computers to achieve smoother and more realistic visuals?  Were you trying to go the opposite direction?
KT: I like manga, not only to read, but the visuals.  The pen drawings, the frame breakdowns and layouts . . . This is the first time I have used digital animation, and those bouncing manga shots wouldn't have been possible with cel animation.   Personally I'm not interested at all in using computers for realistic animation.  I'm impressed by it sometimes, but I'm interested in using computers to do what was once impossible, not to do smoother versions of what has already been done.  I want to be less realistic.
Has using digital animation techniques changed the way you work, or the way you feel about your work when you see it?  Does it still feel like it's yours if a computer did much of it?
KT: Before I got into digital animation I saw other shows that were using it and I felt that there was no feeling, it was empty.   As an animator, there's a sense of release when you draw a cel.  There's something there.  Working on FLCL, though, I learned that computers can do more, and, most of all, that they allow room for trial and error and revising, more freedom to experiment.  That is why I now feel that cel art cannot win against computers.  For actual animation everything is still drawn on paper.  That work hasn't changed.  It's the other stuff, the touchups, and coloring.  If we didn't use paper, maybe the feeling would change.
Earlier today you said that you were trying to broaden the genre by giving Eva a sad ending.  Does the sameness of much of today's anime bore you?
KT: First of all we didn't use a sad ending to annoy fans.  When they're upset, that really bothers us.  Personally, I think a happy ending is fine, but not if it is achieved too easily.  That's no good.
For all the fans that are confused at all, if you had to define in one sentence what FLCL is about, what would you say?
KT: FLCL is the story of boy meets girl.  For me it is also about how it's ok to feel stupid.  With Evangelion there was this feeling that you had better be smart to understand it, or even just to work on it. With FLCL I want to say that it's okay to feel stupid.
Even though it may be strange to us, do you have in your head a logic behind it?  Are you trying to portray a story that follows the logic of dreams, or is it supposed to make sense symbolically?
KT: I'd like you to think of FLCL as imagination being made physical and tangible, just as it is for me when I take whatever is in my head and draw it.
So what are you working on next?
KT: Right now Gainax has told me that they'll support anything I choose to create, but I'm having trouble coming up with any ideas.
Why is that?
KT: Releasing titles for market, I know I have to make something to please fans, but I'm not a mature enough person to accept that fact.  If I'm not amusing myself I can't do it.  I feel bad that fans have to put up with such behavior from me.  I apologize. 
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betsybugaboo · 3 years
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occasionally i go through the ‘t/rf safe’ and ‘g/nder critical’ tags (censored so i don’t have hordes of radfems trying to spread their brainrot on my posts) to mark for shinigami eyes and block them and it’s sort of darkly fascinating the themes of their posts:
- 80 million posts about how radfem =/= conservative because even though literally everything they say is recycled homophobia, they also hate men* and thus can’t be conservative morons (and you can definitely believe them because of how much they have to deny it) *except for trans men, who they treat exclusively as ‘confused’ women who have been brainwashed
- one post about how there aren’t really any neutral pronouns for people in german and it’s evidence that nonbinary people are ‘uNnAtUrAl’ (which, lmao, eurocentric much?)  in the notes of that OP was trying to defend herself by saying that ‘yes, language changes, but pronouns are static!!1!’,  which tbf is true seeing as we all still use thee and thou (/s)
- a ton of jkr stans which really makes me laugh because they’re all willing to overlook the other dumb shit like wizards shitting themselves because jkr’s gotten their specific flavor of brain rot
- nonbinary people are all universally AFAB and either “betraying” women or “watering down women”(??? idek either)
- ‘trans folks are so obsessed about genitals!1′ simultaneously with endless posts about how perfect and important and holy uteruses are
- ascribing a staggering lack of autonomy to women- women don’t really like, write, or consume porn, it’s just that the men in their life force them or they’ve been tricked/brainwashed into it. Same with anything kinky, BDSM, wearing clothing that the poster doesn’t like, and anything that dares to infringe upon the holy uterus like tubal litigations or hysterectomies
- sOcIaL cOnTaGiOn- since, as it turns out giving people the space to explore gender leads to more people figuring out they aren’t 100% cis, transness is simply a social fad and the transes are turning your kids gay trans!!1 (again, recycled homophobia, along with the old chestnuts about gays the transes being pedophiles and it being dangerous to change in the same room as a gay trans)
- so, so, so many white women. it makes me think about this article about how white women utilize their whiteness to force down people of color and center women’s (read: their own) experiences as ‘tHe MoSt OpPrEsSeD’, even though men of color also face oppressions. i think i saw maybe three non-WASP blogs: one Latina, one Black, and one Desi (who also was a big fan of the Indian caste system yikes). There were a few trad cath blogs (again: RaDfEmS aRe NoT cOnSeRvAtIvEs!!1!) and plenty of various ‘the vadge is the center of magic’ type pagans, but most were generic protestants who very obviously live in christian-centric countries
- a universe i wish i lived in where transitioning is immediate, cheap/free, perfect, widely available, and freely given to anyone the instant they have any interest outside western gender norms (see again the ‘they’re turning the kids gay trans’ thing)
- an absolutely hilarious obsession with the handmaid’s tale given that canonically in the book radfems aligned with the conservatives who created the whole system
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smndragon · 3 years
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Hello, I know I haven’t been following your account for too long but you’re one of my fave accounts. You really put a lot of effort and offer your resources/knowledge/time without hesitation which I feel often times other creators don’t really have the opportunity to do. Thank you for your dedication because I’ve found your posts really insightful and they’ve been really helpful in expanding my knowledge <3
I also wanted to ask if you were offering readings atm because I was really interested in receiving one from you! If not, it’s okay! <33
[ Big Six :
Sagittarius ↑, Scorpio ☀︎, Leo ☽
Virgo Venus , Capricorn Mars, Sagittarius Mercury ]
I hope you’ve been doing well and I hope both sides of your pillow is cold !!! <3
Also, Idk if you watch anime but if you could recommend one one of your faves I’d really appreciate it! :,))
If you don’t mind me asking, I was wondering how many years you’ve been studying Astro considering the amount of knowledge you have. I’ve been dabbling myself but I find it intimidating. ESP when it comes to the complexity of birth charts because of all the different variables you need to consider.
Thank you for taking your time to read my ask! I really appreciate your consideration!! <3
You had me over here looking up "what does atm mean in text" like a grandma on Google 😭😭 I really couldn't figure that out I thought of the money atm. Thank you for saying all this though! I do try to take time even if my fingers have to hurt for it. I'm glad you're learning a bit from them or opening your mind to it! Glad to be one of your favs!
An anime recommendation is probably sword art online. It's a basic but I really like it I've watched all the seasons at least 5 or 4 times. Either that or possibly is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon I think it was called. I haven't watched anime in a while to be honest. Learning wise and growth I believe movies like Mirai and flavours of youth on Netflix are very sentimental and leave you touched.
I've been studying only since early 2021 really maybe mid? I started by Tumblr actually, I got the app because I wanted to read more fanfic sites and explore more and I got into more astrology here. I already was interested before then for years but I never actually looked so far into it until then. I actually only learned by readings posts every day I would look up "astro observations" and just read for as long as I could. I took a few people's charts that are long dead by now to compare and analyze since I liked them so much. I learned everything here and still am. I actually recently got back into the astrology side, I took a break to read more into other things. The rest I get are based on feelings and easy searching, I'm sorry I can't really explain it too well. Most of the stuff I learned was from @d4rkpluto @saintzjenx @hillarysss and @ilyneptune I believe is somewhere there either that or it was for pile readings which they have really good ones!
It's like 5:36 in the morning I haven't slept at all but I feel great so let's do your reading! Hm, Scorpio sun, Leo moon, and Sagittarius ascendant. We have the same ascendant which makes me happy! I didn't save so a part got deleted but I saw a girl with lilies on her head immediately, like a sort of crown. It reminded me of Hans Christian Andersen because he once made a flower crown and placed it on someone's hat making them mad after finally finding it💀 this girl reminds me of a time that seems so long ago now. She smiles at nothing and laughs at air, as if she sees things no else had dared speak to. Children are walkways wonderful because they have these gifts, to see things we cant. Possibly 'imaginary' friend when you were younger, or you spent time just pleasing yourself easily.
The first sign that talks to me is the Leo moon, the Scorpio wanted to speak but the Leo was very loud. It feels so touch starved to me which ain't bad but lord both it and the Scorpio sun are. Possible manifestation abilities. They aren't strong but you're able to do it anyone is, whatever you want in life must be looked brightly at, it's okay to have dark days but return that dream and wanting image to your sun and it will become as close as true as out world allows it. The flower crown I saw makes me think there's an Innocence and purity in you that still stand today, never changing. The flowers are the manifestation of this Innocence and this need to be that ways somewhere in you. Possibly fear of expectation and somehow losing that part of you to something in the future. You shouldn't be afraid of what happens, things will change sadly, we can never change that and as people we have to accept it even if it gets dark. Unless this will deeply harm you it's time to let go. Tell that younger you or someone that they cna be free, to be a with all the friends they were with when they were younger. Ik that wasn't a full reading but that's what I got from either your Leo or Scorpio. The Leo wants your joy to be brought back, but not in the form of the fear of losing something. "I'm here" "it's okay" they held you at your darkest moments and will continue to do so. I feel they'll be there especially when you're older, telling you it's alright to let go of the life you once had. (Dark theme sorry but it is what happens to us all in the end) their home is in you, every part I see, the physical body comes out when you need her, a dirty blonde with a white plain shoulder and neck showing shirt, with a plain but modern skirt thin material. They have brown eyes, the eyes of a mother really, with a broad and flattens at the nose. A few dots on the sides of their eyes or face. Aura color is a wheat yellow.
The Scorpio sun is very wanting, jealous of being ignored at times. It wants some things so wholly it hurts. The domain of the Scorpio is a dark and warm place, sweat falls down my forehead as if I'm being boiled to a roast. I want to hold the Scorpio sun, it feels ignored by people. Scorpios are every sympathetic people deep down, they crave affection and reassurance, when not given they cna form unhealthy habits. Not to say you're suffering from this too harshly it's just your Scorpio needs to be cared for at some point, drink a cup of tea or something soothing, talk to your Scorpio and let it talk back, in the deepest parts of your mind they are there always and forever, waiting to recover with your strength and company. Aura is brown and radiant black splotches here and there. Possible placements are the neck, or left shoulder. Body is in the form of a bulked Scorpion, brown shelled. You may possibly have longer nails or well shaped ones. Been complimented on your hands or had them called small which was annoying maybe.
The last of the signs is the Sagittarius ascendant. It take the form of a human, has a long tail though, reptile like. It adores the space you allow it. It roams the chest area, pillows and blankets cover the room. The Sagittarius isn't lazy, it's just overworked they don important things for the body, they care for your muscles and heart. Making sure it has steady beats. They keep you as active as you could be. Enough to keep you healthy. The room is plain with white walls and tan yellow carpet. The Sagittarius takes chalk and writes on the walls "plans" "action" weird words to put down but they keep writing, I also them what they're doing but don't really get a reply. Nothing left here.
Characteristics: small hands well shaped nails, brown hair?, Style is kind of alt if or neutral. Hoodies, jeans, skirts occasionally, the not too extreme chokers, bracelets, slight makeup or none. Because of the Sagittarius I would like to say tall and slim, but I have that and I sure am not those💀 possibly could still work though. I think short though honestly. Sneakers. Binders and folders in school or home. Filled with ideas and things. Brown or green eyes.
Soulmate/ future relationship: (it in one now ignore or keep reading) I see you both planning stories and all kind soft things, laying down pointing to journals and books of your things. You guys don't laugh often but you do show affection in smiles, kisses, hugs, and closeness. I feel they won't fully kiss you until you age to grab their face or after the 11th date🙃
Possible zodiac influence in your life around you: Scorpio Mars, Gemini Venus, Libra
Future/health: nothing much here possible accidents involving phones be careful and lay attention, may crack or break it soon.
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gavillain · 3 years
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Top ten princesses!
*rubs hands together* Alright, let’s rank us some Disney princesses. Technically there’s only four others who aren’t gonna make the cut buuuut they’re the four I don’t really like XD
10: Pocahontas (Pocahontas)
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With Pocahontas, you can very clearly see the behind the scenes "self-consciousness" of the filmmakers baked into her character writing. Pocahontas was Disney's big attempt at Oscar gold, trying to tell a Big Important portentous story while also grappling with trying to make Pocahontas as inoffensive as possible. The result is a character who is kind and likable enough, but also kind of wooden. The historical accuracy value is practically nil, and Pocahontas as a character and a movie comes off worse and worse with the passage of time. All that being said, I think Disney did the very best job they could with Pocahontas given the situation she emerged in. They created a character who is likable, free-spirited, a strong believer in justice and unity, and a character who leads with empathy and courage at the forefront. If nothing else, Pocahontas is a strong role model for little girls to look up to, and her love story with John Smith is one of Disney's most mature love stories as well, so there's plenty for older fans to enjoy as well.
9: Mulan (Mulan)
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Mulan is counted as a Disney princess because they don't have any other Asian princesses and they wanted a more diverse lineup. That's the reason. Y'all can stop pretending not to know now. But with that strange categorizing, Mulan is weird fixture of the princess lineup any way you look at her. Mulan, for me, both as a princess and a movie, has always been just kind of there. A lot of people passionately love it, and I get that completely. A lot of people tear it apart, and I get that too. Mulan is a great girl power character, and her resourcefulness and cleverness being her defining trait is excellent. Her internal turmoil over her identity is perhaps more poignant here than with any other princess, and Reflection still stands as one of the greatest Disney songs ever written. That said, Mulan's defining character flaw being clumsiness and awkwardness and this being why she has such internal turmoil about fitting in just makes her come off as a bit hollow to me, and I feel like there was a better route to take her. After how surprisingly good an LGBT take on her worked over in Once Upon a Time and how much better that informed her feeling like an outsider, it just made the animated version come off as weaker on the internal side to me. Good character overall, though, and I do really like Mulan.
8: Moana (Moana)
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Moana has a similar situation to Mulan where she's not really a princess but she gets shoehorned into the princess mold because they have nowhere else to put her. She and Mulan are Disney heroes, and they have different expectations for that reason. All that being said, Moana is easily the best of the Revival era CGI princesses. For one thing, while she has a bit of the Revival trend of modernizing the princesses too much, they don't make her overly adorkable to make her relatable (... “overly” being the key word; she’s not exempt). On the contrary, Moana is written very much like a person. We see Moana grapple with the weight of duty both to her people and to the world as a whole. Her story is one of trying figure out whether it is better to chase the unknown or to follow the tried and true. And I like that. I also really appreciate how Moana wins the final battle with empathy for the monster, and that's what makes her unique. The whole "Know Who You Are" musical number is legitimately one of the most powerful moments ever put into a Disney film too. My biggest issue with her actually comes from Maui whose constant meta quips and spotlight stealing tends to undermine Moana's character a lot and takes away from some of her moments that I wish hit harder than they do.
7: Jasmine (Aladdin)
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Jasmine is the only princess in the lineup who is not the main character of her movie. On the contrary, she's the love interest of the main character and more of a supporting player in her film. She doesn't even get a solo, something every other princess, save Merida who isn't in a musical, gets. As a result of this, Jasmine isn't really as strong in her own right as several of the other princesses. But she's still awesome. She has a strong internal life and vibrancy, and the way her character revolves around a longing for freedom and the way that compares to Aladdin and the Genie makes her really come alive and work well within the context of the film. She's also clever, resourceful, a self proclaimed fast-learner, and someone who never allows her voice to be silenced. Yet even with all her strength, she's allowed tender moments of kindness and gentleness to show that there's another side to her. Also the TV series and sequels expanded on her character in a wonderful way.
6: Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)
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Okay, yes, Disney's first black princess being a frog for more than half the movie was a bad creative decision on their part that wasn't a good look. But for Disney's first black princess, considering the company's history with race issues in particular and how self-conscious a lot of their princesses of color have come off, I think a lot of people underestimate just how good Tiana is. Tiana is vibrant and full of personality without every coming off as a stereotype or as anything less than dignified and admirable. She's hard worker, but she never comes off to me as trying to be "look how much better I am than the other princesses." She lets her actions and her character speak for themselves. I like that her arc is actually about finding a healthy balance between storybook love and wishing and hard work and determination. She's a woman with ambition, but she also learns to make time for a bit of fairytale fantasy and the things that really count like love and friendship. Also, just major props to Anika Noni Rose for making Tiana so damn likable and fun to follow.
5: Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
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And now that we're in the top five, we start getting into the classics. Aurora gets an unfair reputation as a basic boring princess who needs a man to save her and has no value of her own. But with Sleeping Beauty being an adaptation of ballet in particular, that's really missing the forest for the trees. Sleeping Beauty was envisioned by Walt as the pinnacle of animation, an animated film that would stand tall in an art gallery, and you can see that very much at play in Aurora. From Marc Davis's absolutely stunning animation on her to Mary Costa's beautiful vocal work in blending with the musical stylings of Tchaikovsky, Aurora is, more than any other princess in the Disney lineup, a piece of high art. She's written deceptively simply to allow for the animation and the music to convey the brunt of her character. And, when you get right down to it, Aurora is, like art, designed around the emotions of the piece more than specific character quirks. Yet the essence of her kindness, of her grace, and of her sly looks and shrewd coyness is all right there in the character. She also pretty perfectly encapsulates the emotions and feelings of young love, and I think there's a lot of value in that portrayal as well.
4: Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
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I used to give Ariel a hard time in the recent past, and I fully regret allowing certain sects of discourse to color my view of her. Ariel is an amazing character, and an excellent princess. One of the things that has struck me, revisiting the movie as a gay adult, is just how queer of a story Ariel's is. Hans Christian Anderson wrote the original in response to male lover of his, openly gay Howard Ashman was a major creative driving force behind the story, and openly gay animator Andreas Deja brought to life the visceral Grotto scene based on his falling out with his own father. There's queerness baked into the fabric of this film, and it shows itself clearly with the narrative of a princess who is unhappy with her home life and has a forbidden love that she must hide away from her own family and then must undergo the process of evolving into the version of herself that she wants to be in order to satisfy the love within herself. She gets dismissed as being just a rebellious teenager, but there's so much more to her than that and she hits home to so many people for that reason. Also, Jodi Benson's incredible voice work and the writing for her makes Ariel constantly a vibrant and interesting character who I feel like we get to know better and more intimately than almost any other princess.
3: Cinderella (Cinderella)
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Though, much like Aurora and Ariel, Cinderella gets an unfair reputation as weak and needing a man, that couldn't be further from the truth. Cinderella is an abuse survivor who keeps her dreams, optimism, and kindness alive even in the face of crippling despair and misery. She's a woman who fought a daily battle just for the right to keep existing, and while the Fairy Godmother gave her magical assistance, Cinderella earned her happy ending herself. I just have to admire how she embodies patience and kindness while also still being strong in her own way. She's not a masculine warrior action figure; she's very feminine. Yet she finds strength in her femininity without relying on sex, and I just think that's wonderful. I also really love how much personality and humanity they filled Cinderella with without going overboard or making her into a parody of herself. Cinderella maintains the grace, poise, and beauty of a princess all while having so many little quirks and traits that make her feel like a real woman. Also, it must be said, Cinderella III is still the best Disney sequel, and I love how it expands upon her and gives her new opportunities to prove herself all while maintaining the core kindness and strength of her character.
2: Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
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The one that started it all and still a radiant joy of beauty and kindness, Snow White is everything a princess should be. Like Cinderella, Snow White shows that you can survive abusive situations with your positivity in tact. In fact, Snow White goes one step further. She shows that "there's no use in grumbling when raindrops come tumbling; remember you're the one who can fill the world with sunshine." She's a beacon of hope and positivity who shows that compassion and kindness are the true virtues that deserve to be held as the most precious. She also shows the importance of found family and finding a loving support system that is right for you even if that's not your actual family members. In addition to all that, Snow White is great for being full of personality and having a vibrancy to her. She meets the dwarfs and immediately begins to take charge and to hold them to the standards she expects. She's never afraid to make her voice or opinion heard, and she's also got a playful teasing side to her that shines through. While her film is a heightened reality, she still has a core realness to her that makes her plight and her adventure feel all the more immersive for a viewer.
1: Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
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But my favorite princess is always plain to see. While I love many of the other princesses, none quite hit that same sweet spot for me that Belle does. Belle is an outcast. She's a well read and intelligent woman more concerned with books and ideas of adventure than she is with the types of things she's expected to be concerned with by her small town. According to the townsfolk, she should be only concerned with getting married to a handsome man and being his doting little wife. However, Belle has absolutely no interest in taking part in any of that nonsense, and because of that, the people of her hometown write her off as odd or crazy. Many of us have been in a similar situation and felt excluded from society because we were somehow "not normal." Whether it was for our sexualities, our weight, our skin color, our religious beliefs, our over abundant love of comic books, or what have you, many people out there feel alone and ostracized. Yet Belle is that shining beacon of someone who lives her authentic life no matter what the world around her thinks, and that can give courage to others who relate to those feelings. Belle inspires the Beast to change to be better for her, not because she can break a spell, but because she sees the true beauty inside of him that no one else ever had. Some of my favorite types of heroes are those individuals who see the good inside of everyone. Those who give everyone a fair chance, especially to those who were never given a chance by anyone before, are the type of heroes we need more of in real life. No she can't fight off villains or complete daring feats of physical prowess, but she doesn't have to do those things to make a difference. She can save an entire castle by goodness and compassion alone. Paige O'Hara really does a fantastic job filling Belle with personality as well. I love that her voice work conveys confidence and strength, but also has moments of gentleness and vulnerability. She's allowed to have a range of emotions and certain spunk that is nothing short of endearing. Special mention must go to how excited and energized O'Hara plays Belle as getting when she talks about her books and stories. You really get the sense that reading is Belle's passion, not just something she enjoys. There's a real sense that Belle experiences the world around her fully and vigorously, and that adds to the charm of her character that makes her, for me, the most likable and best of the Disney princesses.
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psychedellic-phase · 4 years
Text
Fifteen (pt 9)
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A/N: it’s reader backstory time! This part also includes season 6 spoilers :) xx
word count: 4.0k 
tw: mentions of violence, abuse, cursing, other criminal minds stuff!
masterlist:
The beginning of letter #8 was scribbled out, like you’d written but decided the words weren’t quite right. Spencer tried to look through the black ink lines to see what you wrote, but most of it was smudged from tears. 
“This was the night everything changed, Spencer. This was the beginning of the end, but at the time it just felt like the beginning. It was a little over a year ago, sorry for skipping some of the middle. I could’ve written a 5,000 page novel about every little moment I had with you. If I had the time, I would. I’d write about every date night, every bouquet of roses, every case you held my hand through. I thought about writing about a lot more of the ‘happy’ parts, but they would’ve just been fun, little, anecdotes and made my heart hurt more. I decided on only highlighting the important parts, not that the happy parts were unimportant. I think they may be the most important, they’re the only things that kept me going at the end. Those parts gave me hope that maybe one day we’d get back to those people. But we didn’t and those people are long gone. Now all the bad memories outweigh the good ones. I need you to see the ugly parts. I always showed you those, and you still told me they were beautiful in some way.  
“Everything is a masterpiece if you look at it in the right way” 
So here’s the ugly Spence, any clue how to make this beautiful? How do I make this a ‘masterpiece’? Because I don’t know. 
Before I start, I want you to put on some regular clothes and pack up the box and put it in your car. Remember how in the first letter I said you’d need to go somewhere? This is that letter. So get in your crappy car that brought us together and drive to the place where it all started to fall apart: Meridian Hill Park.”
Spencer stopped reading and did as you asked. He took the sweatshirt off and hung it in his closet in a place he’d see it everyday. He didn’t really own any ‘regular clothes’ so he ended up in slacks and a dress shirt, his version of regular. He grabbed the box and the last of the coffee in a to-go mug and got in the car. He slipped the disc from letter 2 in and listened to Stacy’s Mom on a low volume. Between that and the snow, he felt like you were right there with him. 
When he got to the park, he sat in his car for a moment and reopened the letter. 
“There? Good. The bench we sat at is next to the blue bird bath and under that huge oak tree. Go sit at it.”
Spencer got out of the car, now wearing a heavy wool coat and scarf, and made his way to that spot. After most of your dates you’d go for a stroll around that park and always end up at that exact bench. You’d talk for hours, or sometimes you’d people watch. Either way, that bench became another one of your places. He set the box down on his left, the spot where you usually sat, and kept reading.
“That particular night was in December, during that weird week in between Christmas and New Years when time doesn’t feel real and the world is almost at a stand still. (My favorite week of the year) I had begged you to go to the movies with me. I dragged you to see Frozen. 
“Frozen?” You said, crinkling your nose, “Out of all the movies?”
I laughed and told you that I needed to see it because Mia had and already loved it. I think I said something like, “If I’m going to be her cool Aunt we have to see it.”
And you agreed, because you’d do anything for me. You always would. So two thirty-somethings went to see a six o’clock showing of Frozen on a Tuesday. We looked ridiculous; your messenger bag was overflowing with snacks and we were the only people there without a child. 
I loved it though, and you did too. When the movie was over we sat in the lobby at a table and I finished my slurpee as you told me about the real story of Frozen. 
“It’s loosely based on ‘The Snow Queen’ by Hans Christian Andersen from 1845. They both have a snow Queen, reindeer, trolls, frozen hearts, and snow creatures, but that’s where the similarities end. In the original story there is a horrible magic mirror and,” You finally paused to breathe, “ROBBERS!”
I laughed, “Aren’t all fairytales actually awful? We’ve just disney-ified them for kids?”
You nodded, “Most fairy tales in their original form were gruesome to the extreme. In Cinderella, the step-sisters had their feet mutilated to fit into the shoe.”
I yawned, “That’s why I always stuck to Pixar.”
We laughed and threw away our million candy wrappers. As we were leaving I saw a photo booth, one of those old one’s like I went in with all my high school boyfriends. I pulled you over to it and you grimaced, “It’s a small space CRAWLING with germs Y/N!” you whined to me, “Do you know how many people have been in there?” 
I rolled my eyes, “It’ll take thirty seconds and I will sanitize after!”
I tugged your arm in and we both barely fit in the booth. You pulled me onto your lap and four poses later we had two photo strips covered in pictures of you kissing my cheek and us smiling. That’s your momento for this letter.”
Spencer reached in and grabbed the photo strip delicately between his fingers. It was one of those tacky ones that looked like a roll of film and all the pictures were in black and white. The first one was the two of you smiling as wide as you could, the second you stuck your tongue out and Spencer scrunched up his nose, for the third he kissed your cheek, and the last one you turned your head to meet him. His heart softened for a moment, remembering how soft and sweet your kisses were. They were usually delicate, like you were kissing the finest of china. Or they were intense, like you were drowning and he was coming up for air. He felt warm, despite the snow falling all around him. 
“This is my copy. We printed two. I don’t know where yours is, I just hope it isn’t in the trash. I know it’s another photograph; you just got one of those from JJ’s wedding.  But I love photographs. I have a million of you and I. I always used to shove my phone in your face and you’d block it with your hands. I haven’t been able to bring myself to delete them yet. I just love pictures. They capture moments, the good and the bad. Sometimes the only thing that can get the feelings across is a photo, so here’s four. 
I remember sticking them in my purse as we walked out of the theater hand in hand and found ourselves in this park. I love it when the cherry blossom’s bloom, but they weren’t blooming. We found our way to this exact bench that you’re sitting on right now. I think it has the best view of the fountain. You put your arm around me and I snuggled into you. You were trying to talk about work; something about Rossi and Gideon? I didn’t know. I was so tired, I couldn’t even focus. I remember just staring at the dry fountain; they turn it off when the weather gets too cold. 
“Don’t you agree?” You said, but I didn’t register it, “Y/N?”
I looked up at you and blinked a few times. I sat up and moved myself off of you, “What? Sorry about that I—“ my own yawn interrupted me, “I’m just really tired.”
You looked at me so concerned. Your pretty, honey brown eyes always could see right through me. 
“Tired? But we went to sleep at ten last night, you should’ve had at least seven hours.”
I just shrugged and you raised your eyebrows at me, waiting for me to spill. 
“I couldn’t fall asleep the last few nights.”
I avoided your prying gaze that felt red hot on my skin even in the freezing air and played with the locket around my neck, as I usually do when I’m nervous. 
“Y/N,” You said and grabbed my two hands to make me look at you. I looked you straight in the eyes. 
“Talk to me.”
I sighed, “No.”
“No?” You looked offended, I don’t blame you. 
“No,” I said plainly. It looked like I was picking a fight, but I wasn’t. I just wasn’t ready to tell you. It’s so weird, we had spent over two years together by then, and I still couldn’t tell you. I don’t know why. It wasn’t you. You make me feel comfortable and safe. I think talking about it made it more real for me, you know? And I just didn’t want it to be real. 
“Is it the nightmares? Are they back again?” 
I just nodded. Of course you knew, you always knew.
“Y/N, we’ve been through this. You have to talk about them.”
I groaned and you dropped my hands to run yours through your hair. Frustrated is how you felt in that moment, and I don’t blame you. I was mad at myself too. 
“I know! But can’t I just not want to talk about it?”
You stood up and paced in front of me, “You have to talk to someone! Even if it isn’t me.”
“That’s the thing! I don’t trust anyone except you with it!”
You sounded defeated, “Then why don’t you tell me? You haven’t slept, Y/N. You need to take care of yourself. I can’t just sit back and watch you do this to yourself. It’s not healthy.”
That isn’t the last time I heard you say that, but it was the first. That became your favorite phrase at the end. “It’s not healthy,” as if you’re the judge of what’s healthy and not.
My heart ached at the sight of you; purple scarf disheveled and your eye bags a similar color. Your hair was tousled from running your hands through it and you looked like you might cry. I patted the seat next to me so you would sit down and then before I could even think them, the words were tumbling out of my mouth. Every. Damn. Detail.”
He remembered it so clearly, as if it were yesterday. The cold air bit at your skin causing you to shiver and pull your coat tighter. The only warmth either of you felt was what was radiating off the other. It wasn’t much. 
“It’s the nightmare, like the nightmare. The same one from Jacksonville. It just won’t go away. I wake up sweaty and disoriented and I can’t breathe.” 
Silence came. How hadn't he heard you wake up the last few nights? Why didn’t he notice? He silently scolded himself while watching your feet draw little shapes in the snow. The flakes landed on your hair perfectly and the light made you look like you had a halo. An angel. His angel.
You got yourself together and back tracked, “Do you know what I did before the BAU Spence?”
He thought for a moment and realized he didn’t. He had no idea. It was a strange feeling. He knew the last four or so years of your life so well. He spent two and some change of them with you, together, but he knew little about you before then. He knew about your family and your childhood, but that was it. Your early twenties were a secret. 
“No, I don’t,” He croaked, running his hands nervously down his pants, as if they were sweaty, “Rossi just called you one day and the next you were here.”
You sighed and didn’t dare look at him, “I worked with Organized Crime in California. With the Bratva.”
“The russian mafia?” His voice went high, like it always did when he was confused. 
“Let me start at the beginning,” You took a deep breath and held it for a moment, “I went to school, got my criminal justice degree, you know the usual stuff. I worked on various other criminal psychology and forensic degrees and certs until I turned twenty-three.”
“So you could join the bureau,” he finished your sentence. 
You pursed your lips and nodded, “Yeah, it was my life long dream. So I joined at 23, found myself in organized crimes twenty weeks later. I was on the fast track. Not as fast as you of course,” You smiled and bumped your shoulder with his, earning a warm smile that made you feel more comfortable. 
“I worked various cases for a year or two. Low level stuff, you know? Until they actually needed me.”
He was nervous to hear it now, half regretting asking, and half celebrating the fact that you’d share your deepest darkest with him. 
“You know like in old movies when the gangster has a pretty girl in a skimpy dress on his lap? And she pretends to know nothing about what he does? Yeah that was me. Turns out I was the right age and type for Alexei. So there I was. Twenty-five. Had no idea what I was doing, going undercover.”
“Like Emily did with Doyle,” he said. 
You nodded, “Like Emily and Doyle. That’s part of why we got along so well, we both had similar experiences. She knew what the long haul was like.”
“How long were you under?” Spencer whispered. 
“Sixteen months.”
His eyes went wide, “Sixteen?”
“Yup,” you popped the ‘p’. 
“That’s a long time.”
“You don’t become a mafia kingpin’s girlfriend overnight, Reid.”
He laughed. You didn’t. 
“See you guys do the short stints. A night, maybe a day or so. It’s different. It’s draining. Constantly worrying about knowing the details of my cover while also not losing myself in the process. Sometimes I couldn’t tell where the cover ended and I started. I was paranoid, looking over my shoulder constantly. If they knew who I was, I’d get killed instantly.”
He stiffened next to you, but you carried on. 
“And you can’t break character. You have to do whatever they want. I had to be his girlfriend. I had to pretend to love him. You know how tiring that is? Pretending to be in love with a man you’re trying to take down? Pretending to like what he likes? Pretending to want to be a part of the sick shit they did?”
He sighed, “You had to do everything he wanted.”
His heart sank and he suddenly felt angry. He needed to punch this guy in the face. 
“Everything,” You practically spit out, venom dripping from the words, “And Alexei’s favorite pastime was killing people who he thought were disloyal. He’d switch it up. Some days he liked to make them suffer, others it was one between the eyes and out. He liked to make me watch.  He liked hurting the dancers too. They had a club, they always have a damn club, and those girls were the only friends I had for months. He liked to hurt them too, defile them. ‘Ruin them’ he’d say.”
Spencer’s arm reached around you now. The cold was getting to both of you, but you didn’t budge from the bench. You didn’t curl into him for safety. You just stared at the snow. 
“He liked when it hurt. He liked to throw things at me. Bruise me. Pull my hair. God I hated it,” your voice was a mere whisper now. Spencer’s grip around you tightened with every word. He wanted to protect you. He always wanted to protect you. 
“Shh, it’s okay,” He mumbled into your hair. A few frozen tears dripped down your cheeks. You sat like that, silently sobbing while remembering what had happened to you. What you’d seen. 
“What happened to him?”
You took a shaky breath, “I begged them to let me out. We had enough. I had stacks and stacks of pictures and evidence. But they didn’t let me. My awful handler would always say ‘just a few more days, Y/N, just a few.’ Then that would become another month. The job only needed eight months. I was there double that. Finally, they did the raid. I got kudos and congratulations. A promotion and a couple extra bucks, as if that would take away what I had been through. I wasn’t myself anymore.”
You took a thick swallow, finding it hard to breathe, “So I quit.”
Spencer held you still, not moving a muscle. 
“I quit. I gave up my dream. I moved back to Connecticut. I made coffee at Starbucks for $7.25 an hour. I read. I went on trips and vacations. I needed to find myself again. Then one day you guys stumbled into them and Rossi called me since I knew first hand how they worked. That was all I needed. A taste of it again, and I was all in. So a week later I showed up, Rossi raving about my ‘ability to get information out of people.’ I developed the skill to survive, Spence.”
You turned into him now, head on his chest. 
“So the nightmares are those memories. The girl’s faces. The young kids who messed up jobs. They’re hurting and I can’t save them. That’s the nightmare.”
You sat in silence, letting the words hang in the air between you. You were tired and spent, leaning your full body weight into him. He was just trying to relax and keep calm. He was pissed, and a little bit was directed at you. 
“I’m so sorry Y/N, but thank you for telling me,” His voice was low and raspy, his head spinning. For just over two years he had been your person. Your rock. And he didn’t know this about you? Why couldn’t you tell him? He told you all of his dirty secrets; his dad, the kidnapping, the drugs, and you ‘couldn’t tell him?’ Why?
“That’s why I was so scared when Emily ‘died.’” You used air quotes around the last word, “Her nightmare came true.”
“Yours won’t.”
You sniffled and rubbed your ice cold nose, “I know. You guys keep me safe.”
You looked up at him, falling into his big doe eyes. They were hurt and twisty, but full of love. And you looked at him like he was everything in the world. In that moment, he was. 
He treated you differently after that night. He was always kind and gentle, but he approached you with a new sense of care. He didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. Someone finally understood you, and it felt so good. But one thing always bothered him, why did you wait so long to tell him? He didn’t think he’d ever know. 
“I loved you and trusted you enough to lay it all out for you, and you took it all in. You told me you wouldn’t let it change anything, but it did. I thought it changed us for the better. Maybe it didn’t, I’m still not sure. You told me it made me stronger, more resilient. It made you love me more, if that was even possible. It made me human. You told me Ernest Hemingway once said “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” You said I was strong at those broken places. 
So that’s what this photostrip is to me. It’s the day I officially took all of my walls down and showed you the parts of me that aren’t pretty, and you didn’t run away. You stayed and kissed me on that freezing cold park bench and warmed me up with a hug I never wanted to leave. I thought after that it would take something much greater than you or I to break this apart, like divine intervention. We were impenetrable, but then again, so was the Titanic.
That night I didn’t have any nightmares. I didn’t have a bad one until a few weeks ago. I missed having you next to me during it. You were right, talking about it does help. I’ll find someone out here to talk to, I promise. 
That night, all the walls were finally down. I think that was my fatal mistake, if only I kept them up a little while longer.
So look at us, all young and innocent before the world left us jaded and hurt. I miss your cheek kisses and the way your hands feel snaking around my waist. I miss your fact dumps and the way you feel like home. Thank you for taking me at my worst, loving me, and leaving me better than I was when you got there. Just like being under, it’s now hard for me to tell where I end and you begin. So many parts of you became parts of me. I’ll have to work on finding myself again, and this time I won’t do it over grande java-chip frappucinos, I’ll do it over case files. I’m finally done running away.” 
Spencer’s throat was dry and his palms were so sweaty the ink was bleeding underneath his fingers. How was he sweating when it was barely ten degrees outside? He put the letter and photo strip back in the box and stuffed it in the passenger seat of his car before walking back into the park. 
The fountain was off again, but he remembered what it looked like running. He walked the same paths you had walked with him a million times. He never wanted to walk them alone. He wondered if Seattle had any nice parks like this for you to walk through. He hoped you were close to Pike Place Market so you could order a coffee at the first ever Starbucks. He hoped you were happy. 
He remembered the way the park looked in the summertime, all lush, green grass and kid’s playing. He remembered the picnic you went on when the blanket flew away. He remembered kissing you under huge trees and feeding birds. As he walked around, he could almost see it, shadows of the people you used to be.  
He walked for maybe an hour before retreating back to his crappy car and crying for a moment. He didn’t turn the music back on as he drove home. He just thought of the way your body racked with tears at the nightmares and how he could always calm you down, almost instantly. He wondered who would see you through the nightmares now? They’re too hard to do alone. 
He didn’t remember when he got home, seemingly having driven on auto-pilot the whole time. When he got back inside he dropped the box and made a beeline for where his copy of your photo strip was, on one of his many shelves covered in books. He grabbed the book he had started six months ago. It was a gift from Rossi and he only read half of it, a rarity for him. When he got halfway through, everything happened and he couldn’t bring himself to open the book up anymore. He rifled through the pages of  ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and found the photo strip where it was acting as a bookmark on the page where he had left off. He took it out and slammed the book closed, not wanting to read any of the words, even by accident. 
He took the strip over and compared it to yours. His was worn and bent and the shiny photo paper had dulled from the many pages he had stuck it between. Yours was in perfect condition, still shiny and even a little sticky, like it hadn’t been touched. He stared at them, wondering what your life would be now if you could’ve held onto the people in that photo booth. There were so many what-ifs, he didn’t even know where to begin. He knew he couldn’t just leave it at these letters, he needed more. He needed to see you and he fully intended on breaking your ground rules, but not until he was finished. He walked back to the box with newfound vigor, and grabbed #9.
PART 10!
taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings
@ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog​ @blameitonthenight @goldentournesol​
(i think some tags aren’t working so if anyone knows how to fix that pls lmk :)
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uncloseted · 3 years
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https://youtu.be/kJcpTSNWXdQ
https://youtu.be/yIZ8zUOXh2g
Can you watch these when you have the time? Im curious about your opinion on this because I think youre really smart and these are some topics rhats been on my mind lately! Thnk you so much ❤️❤️
Okay, so there’s a lot here.  I feel like I should admit upfront that I dislike Joe Rogan.  I won’t really dig into why because you didn’t ask for that, but I will say that if you want to listen to someone wax philosophical, I feel like it should be someone who was actually a philosopher (like Contrapoints or PhilosophyTube) instead of UFC commentator and former host of Fear Factor, Joe Rogan.  Anyway, let’s dig into these videos…. 
The first one is called “Unattainable Beauty Standard Outrage” and it’s with stand-up comedian Bill Burr.  Frankly, I find it to be frustrating because they’re both average looking white men complaining about an issue that they’re really not subject to in any meaningful way.  Throughout this video, they conflate a lot of different issues-  the beauty standards average men and women are held to, the (edited) beauty standards present in advertisements, and the physical requirements actors and actresses are held to are all the same in this conversation.  They make them seem like it’s all the same when in reality that’s just…. three different conversations completely.  I think that’s a result of the fact that they’re just kind of talking, not making an argument or even really trying to get to a point.
Let’s start out with what they’re saying about the beauty standards that average people are held to.  Basically, their point is that if you cared about how you looked, you can compensate for it in other ways. The point here boils down to “ugly people won’t take the time to develop a personality like the rest of us, and they’re mad that they get treated differently.”  But the reality is that you can have a great personality, but discrimination based on physical appearance will still exist.  Similar to how discrimination based on sexuality isn’t cancelled out by white privilege or discrimination based on race isn’t cancelled out by being male, discrimination based on appearance isn’t cancelled out by having a winning personality.  Ugly people earn less than their attractive counterparts, on average have fewer friends, worse social skills, and less active sex lives, and are seen as less moral, trustworthy, and competent.  Women have it even worse; while men are able to compensate for their looks somewhat (and there are more “acceptable” looks that a man can have) through factors like wealth, social capital, and personality, women are taught from a young age that being attractive is the most important thing that they can be.  Because of that, women suffer more from looks-based discrimination than men do and are more impacted every time the standard for female beauty gets raised.
Moving on, they start complaining that the UK is banning advertisements that feature impossible standards of beauty.  To my knowledge, it’s actually only the London underground that did this, and I believe it specifically concerned advertisements that are digitally altered but selling a beauty product (correct me if I’m wrong here).  Specifically in this episode, they’re talking about products that promise you a “summer body” with a digitally altered image of a bikini model.   It’s false advertising when you show an edited model who supposedly got their body by using your product- and that should be illegal.  False advertising is illegal in lots of other realms.  You’re not allowed to claim that your dietary supplement will cure cancer, and you shouldn’t be able to claim that your “summer body” product will make you look like a digitally altered model.  Joe and Bill comment that people are being overly sensitive, and that these advertisements just make them “want to go to the gym”, but that misses the point completely.  Even if you went to the gym, there’s still tens of thousands of dollars of cosmetic surgeries and digital alterations that went into making that model look like that.  It’s not about work.  Those bodies aren’t achievable with work- the models themselves, who work out for hours a day and follow very strict diets, don’t look like that in real life either.  Pretending that those images are achievable through “hard work” is actually really damaging.  It can lead to people engaging in dangerous diets and exercise regimens, taking untested supplements, and feeling that their lack of results is a moral failing because they’re not “working hard enough” (which decreases self esteem).
Then they start talking about actors and actresses who are asked to lose weight for movies, and one actress in particular who publicly complained that she was asked to lose 15 pounds for a role.  Their takeaway is that the actress who complained is being lazy, that she was hired to be hot, and that she’s being ungrateful for the opportunity.  A quick fact check suggests that the person they’re talking about is Jennifer Lawrence, who said she “was told by producers of a film to lose 15 pounds in two weeks."  That’s a very different story to the one that they’re telling.  To lose 15 pounds in two weeks, 5′9, 140 pound Jennifer Lawrence would have had to burn 52,500 calories.  Even if she ate absolutely nothing and worked out at the level of an Olympic athlete 7 days a week, she would still have only burned 39,354 calories in two weeks.  That’s still 3.75 pounds short of 15 pounds of weight loss.  It was literally an impossible ask.  Upon telling the producer that she thought the weight loss demands were not appropriate, “he said he didn’t know why everyone thought I was so fat, he thought I was ‘perfectly fuckable.'”  And so to paint it as Jennifer Lawrence being lazy is a bit disingenuous.  But I’m willing to accept that maybe they just didn’t have that context, because it seems like their goal wasn’t actually to have a discussion based in research or argumentation- it’s to make the point that people are overly sensitive now and asking the world to cater to them.
Closing this conversation out, I don’t think it’s wrong for studios to ask actors to change their appearance for a role.  A big part of why people get cast for particular roles is their appearance, and as an actor, you have to be willing to adapt your appearance for the role. Just like you may be asked to dye your hair or wear colored contacts, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to ask an actor to gain or lose weight for a role (especially since both men and women are asked to do that, and the studio provides them with the support to be able to do that safely).  Those bodies are achievable with work, and I don’t think it’s wrong to show those.  But I think there’s a larger conversation to be had about who’s being asked to change their weight and why.  Christian Bale lost 62 pounds for The Machinist because his character was supposed to be emaciated from his insomnia.  The studio didn’t ask Bale to do that.  He made the decision to do it on his own, even though it made sense for his character to be that thin.  By contrast, Jennifer Lawrence was asked by the studio to lose 15 pounds to... what?  Look hotter in the movie?  Almost every female actress is expected to look a certain way in order to even be considered for a role, whereas men can be fat, mediocre looking, older, balding, and still be cast.  Even when a woman is playing a role where being hot isn’t part of the narrative at all, she’s still expected to be hot.  Even when you’re playing a character that’s “let themself go” or has “hit rock bottom”, the actress needs to look hot.  For men, there’s not that same requirement.  Having hot girls in your movie absolutely do get more people to see it, sure, but the cost is that you’re reinforcing the idea that women must be, above else, hot all the time.
So that’s that.  Let’s move on to the second video,  “No, It's Not "All Men"”, featuring comedian Iliza Shlesinger.  I should say that I like Iliza quite a bit and I’ve seen her perform, so I’m curious to see where this goes.  It’s also important to note they’ve been smoking weed, which... provides some context to this episode, I think.
So again, they start by bitching about this “beach body ready” ad that got “pulled in the UK” (actually just from the London underground) that Joe is so up in arms about.  This time he shows the ad, and it turns out that it was pulled due to “concerns about a range of health and weight loss claims made in the ad”.  The concern is false advertising.  So again, to paint it as, “ugly women are too sensitive because some women are actually beautiful” is disingenuous, and serving the narrative that “people these days are too sensitive”.  They’re also making the assumption that this ad hasn’t been digitally altered, which I find difficult to believe.  
Iliza goes on to talk about how her boobs are real and some people ask her if they’re fake, and she doesn’t like that, and how women shouldn’t judge other women to their faces about how fake they perceive them to be.  I think that’s a fine claim to make on an interpersonal level, but I also think that if we don’t start acknowledging all of the manipulation and work that goes into appearing “effortlessly beautiful”, we’re going to fall deeper into this beauty standard arms race.  Iliza kind of gets a pass on this because she openly admits to having a “fake nose”.  Then she makes a good point about how women will be hated no matter what they do, and so it’s important to remember that when someone doesn’t like you, it typically has more to do with them than it does with you.  She also says that when you don’t like someone, it’s important to do some introspection to figure out where that’s coming from, which is also great advice.  Then they wander into talking about how feminism doesn’t mean that you like women more than men or that you’re asking for special treatment, just that you support the idea of equality, and that’s fine. Joe rogan praises Iliza for being “a feminist, but not annoying”, which is gross.
Iliza then says that feminists who say, “all men” are part of the problem, and I think she’s just missing the point.  When feminists say, “yes, all men”, what they mean is that all men are benefiting from male privilege, regardless of the actions that they’re taking (or not) to better that situation.  People in positions of privilege have to acknowledge that privilege in order to be able to better the situation, and by separating yourself out as “not one of those men”, you’re saying “it’s not my problem because I��m one of the good ones, so I don’t have to think about myself critically or alter my behavior in any way.”  That said, I think Iliza is right that that stance can be taken too far and serve to alienate the men who are allies in the feminist fight for equality.  
Then, Iliza equates the phrases “all men are bad” and “all women are sluts”.  I think this is a bad take; “all men are bad” is a generalization made by a marginalized group about a powerful group that they’ve been victimized by.  Every woman I know has had some type of intimidating, frightening, dangerous, humiliating, or dehumanizing experience with a man during their lifetime.  “All women are sluts” is a powerful group insulting a group that they marginalize, with the intention of controlling that group’s actions (by making them feel ashamed of being “slutty” they’ll stop being “sluts).  “Slut” is also particularly charged in this scenario, because it centers maleness.  What is a slut?  A slut is (usually) a woman who sleeps with men but who won’t sleep with the man calling her a slut.  Which, coming full circle, is why some women say “all men are bad”.  
I get their larger point that generalizations are rarely helpful, but again, they’re making this false equivalency between a political slogan (”all men”), a gendered insult (“all women are sluts”), and random, unhelpful advice, (”women want you to slow down in the bedroom”).  In the first case, the generalization serves a purpose- it’s to let men know that they’re not exempt because they’re a “good guy”.  In the second case, it’s an insult that contributes to a gendered power structure.  In the third case, it’s just shorthand for “the majority of women that we’ve surveyed” because repeating that phrase over and over again will take away from the point they’re trying to make (that maybe you could be better in bed by listening to the sluts, Joe).
All in all, I like this one better than the first one, but Joe Rogan hasn’t grown on me over the course of watching these videos.
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kickasskody · 3 years
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                          DAKOTA ‘ kody ’ PIERCE, a character study.  “just because i cannot see it, doesn’t mean i cannot believe it.” -- jack skellington
Character’s full name: dakota pierce Reason for name and/or meaning of name: kody’s parents met and fell in love in north dakota, and decided to name their son after the great state 💖 Character’s nickname: kody Reason for nickname: in middle school, kody didn’t think the name dakota was cool. but the name kody, the most generic white boy name ever , was definitely cool Birth date: december 13th, 2002. baby sagittarius 
Physical appearance Faceclaim: austin abrams Gender: cis male Height: 5″8 #shortking Build: scrawny boy body. looks like he couldn’t lift more than 30 pounds... PSYCH!!! he’s a vampire so he can actually lift several hundred pounds 🤪🤪🤪 Eye color: blue with little dark green specks Glasses or contacts?: not with that snazzy 4k vampire sight !! Distinguishing marks/scars: funny little frecklescape on his back that looks like this emoji 😦 Hair color: dirty blonde Type of hair: type 1, aka straight hair Hairstyle: gets up out of bed, looks in mirror. maybe tussles it a little bit. thats it Physical disabilities: none Mental disabilities: adhd Clothing style: sweaters sweaters sweaters. striped sweaters ( because the best time to wear one is all the time ), disney sweaters, sweaters with dogs on them. white collared shirts to go underneath most of them. denim jackets, a couple of them tattering with holes in the elbows. black skinny jeans -- like he owns four pairs of the same black skinny jeans. someone tell him that skinny jeans aren’t in style anymore. uses the same jansport backpack he’s had since the eighth grade with a sewn in epcot center patch on the front pocket. dirty checkered vans. falling apart high-top converse. it’s not that he’s poor and can’t afford new things, he just prefers all his old stuff.  Make up: has never worn any but wouldn’t be opposed to trying some !!
Personality Good personality traits: good at secret keeping, friendly and uplifting, loyal, thoughtful, great memory, cautious, playful. chaotic good energy  🥰 Bad personality traits: gullible, slightly obnoxious, constantly confused, easily distracted Mood character is most often in: cheery, happy as f, practically bouncing off the walls Sense of humor: goddamn hilarious!!! at least he thinks so lol Articulation: loud and occasionally stuttery. repeating himself pretty often. the type to get lost in the middle of conversation and have to take a second to mentally loop back and remember what exactly they were talking about. uses the word ‘ like ‘ way too much. talks with his hands a whole lot. constantly talking like he’s a kooky disney character on a mission. Character’s greatest joy in life: riding a mf’in roller coaster Character’s greatest fear: disneyworld getting blown up / physically hurting someone  Character is most at ease when: he’s curled up with his friends watching a disney movie Most ill at ease when: he’s laying in bed at night, pretending he’s sleeping since he can’t Enraged when: thinking about how there are vampires in bridgemead -- that they could turn other people, kill other people, or worse... harm his friends.  Depressed or sad when: drinking from a blood bag. watching disney pixar’s coco. thinkin’ about a disneyworld churro and how he’ll never be able to enjoy the taste of one again. Priorities: at the moment? trying not to hurt anybody.  Life philosophy: “Keep Moving Forward!” -- walt disney said that Greatest strength: his optimism / ability to take something sad or bad and turn it around! Greatest vulnerability or weakness: giving just about anyone the benefit of the doubt. 
Goals Drives and motivations: getting enough money to be able to travel the world and visit every disney park on the planet.  Immediate goals: graduating high school / helping the scooby gang solve mysteries Long term goals: roller coaster designer / engineer. create a haunted house / rollercoaster hybrid ride
Childhood Hometown: orlando, florida Type of childhood: the kind where he’s an only child, where his middle class parents live to please and spoil him, take him to whatever amusement park he wanted to go to and buy him all the best merch. the smile on his face was worth more than anything they ever could’ve purchased for themselves. kody probably would’ve had siblings, but his parents had complications getting pregnant again, and thus they lived to make sure he had the best life possible.  Pets: a cat named toulouse ( shoutout aristocats ), but he passed when kody was fifteen Most important childhood memory: waiting in line for five hours to ride harry potter and the forbidden journey at universal studios orlando. blew his little kid mind. Dream job: imagineer!! Religion: non-practicing christians. church on easter and christmas ONLY!
Present Current location: bridgemead, massachusetts Currently living with: his parents 💖 Pets: none Religion: agnostic Sexuality: currently questioning his sexuality. growing up he always felt attracted to both boys and girls, but has never been able to articulate it. he’s only ever expressed interest in women, but he has a fat crush on chris evans as captin america Politics: would be socialist if he cared enough to think about politics Occupation/education: bridgemead high school super senior Mode of transportation: his parents dark blue prius!! but only thursday - sunday
Family Parent one: marcus pierce -- drug store manager Relationship with them: kody and his dad are best buds! if it weren’t for his fathers love for rollercoasters, kody doesn’t know what his life would be like today. they used to play rollercoaster tycoon growing up and kody still cherishes those memories today. Parent two: tina pierce -- bridgemead city manager Relationship with them: kody and his mother have a very loving relationship. however, kody’s adoration for his mother dwindled when it was her job that forced them to move to bridgemead. he thinks of it as her fault that he doesn’t get to go to disneyworld anymore, and there’s a bitter part of him that thinks that if she hadn’t made them leave, he never would’ve become a vampire. he knows its wrong to attribute her to his curse, but sometimes when he’s really sad he cant help it.  Siblings: none Other important family members: his widowed aunt shirley who lives twenty minutes from disneyworld and occasionally would join them on their weekend visits to the parks. he misses her greatly 😩😩
Favorites Color: that bright electric blue color on the cinderella castle at disneyworld  Music: electronic Food: a disneyworld churro.  Film: the incredibles / scooby doo 2002 Drink: pink lemonadde mixed with sprite Form of entertainment: disney+ subscription. if that’s all he had, he’d be content. Most prized possession: a magic kingdom two day passport ticket from the 1980′s
Habits Hobbies: playing rollercoaster tycoon / designing rollercoasters on his computer. obsessively watching ghost club paranormal on youtube. bothering aj with the latest thing on his mind that she definitely doesn’t need to know about Plays a musical instrument?: nope. wishes he could though!  Plays a sport?: nope, but would be great at track now that he’s a vampire! How he would spend a rainy day: playing kingdom hearts II in his pajamas. Spending habits: great at hoarding all of his allowance! since he’s not spending it on food, he’s an excellent saver. pre-vampirism kody was not as cautious with his spending.  Smoking/drinking/drugs?: no way 🙅🏼 has yet to even try alcohol Extremely skilled at: cheering up his friends! finding the good in others and convincing them to see it too 🤗 Extremely unskilled at: stopping himself from crying when he’s sad / when he’s in the middle of crying. putting together pieces of their investigations. sure, he can find things -- but what the hell is he supposed to do with them once he’s got it?!?! Nervous tics: anxious picking at his cuticles. messing with his hair. aggressive foot tapping. scrolling through his phone without actually looking at anything.  Usual body posture: that boy has been working on rollercoaster code on his computer for YEARS. his body posture is absolutely RUINED! Mannerisms: constantly talking with his hands. bouncin’ around like tigger when something exciting happens. abbreviating things that don’t need to be abbreviated. the loudest in the room at all times.
Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Leader or follower? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? HELL YEAH.
Self-perception How do they feels about themselves?: before the year 2020, kody actually quite liked himself! he realized that he was goofy and sometimes not everyones cup of tea, but for the most part, he knew he was a good guy who was a little obnoxious! now, he has mixed feelings about himself. vampirism has elevated a lot of his emotions and more often than not now, he dislikes himself for what he’s become, or what he could become if things turn bloody.  One word the character would use to describe themselves: spunky What does the character consider their best trait?: his compassion What does the character consider their worst trait?: his gullibility  What does the character consider their best physical characteristic?: his fluffy hair !! What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic?: that he’s a short king. stream short kings anthem by tiny meat gang How does the character think others perceive them?: he’s pretty sure most people think that he’s wildly annoying, but that doesn’t stop him from being fully himself most of the time!  What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: his vampirism!! get this shit out of him just make him a normal aging boy again!!
Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: kody is a big ole’ ball of love, and thus so, he tries to share that with everyone. strangers are treated with compassion, acquaintances are treated as old friends, and friends are treated like family. unless kody already knows someone to be a bad person, or is wary of them, he’s genuinely one of the nicest people one could ever meet. Opinion of the Scooby Gang: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others?: it depends on the topic, but for the most part, yes. when it comes to most scooby gang related endeavors, kody will share his thoughts -- if it’s something related to movies or tv, he’ll be talking your ear off for hours. if it’s something that could result in it hurting someone else, he’ll be quiet, and if his vampirism was ever to come into question, he’d be absolutely be suppressing it.  Most important person in character’s life: oh god, not to pick scooby gang favorites, but probably aj. she’s the closest thing he has to a sister, and he doesn’t know what he would do without their banter, and her support. Best friend/s: aj darke, dylan frye, & arabella byrne Dating experience: absolutely none. kissed 2 girls in the span of 2 years over 3 years ago. Romancing: kody wouldn’t know the first thing about trying to get someone to date him. all he knows is the stuff he’s seen on tv, watched in movies, or experienced around him ( such as his parents successful marriage, or his friends dating people ), but if it were to come down to him, he’d be extremely awkward. picture tom holland’s spiderman trying to talk to zendaya’s mj in far from home -- because that’s extremely accurate. kody isn’t trying to date anyone right now for a couple of reasons: one being that he’s too nervous, and not exactly looking for love, but if it were to happen... he wouldn’t run from it necessarily. but two being that his vampirism creates a bit of a problem for him, and he’s not sure if he should subject anyone to the curse he’s stuck with.
Extra Physicality: if necessary, could probably lift a car and throw it down the street. as of right now, doesn’t know how strong he really is / is more concerned about hurting his friends with this supposed strength than he is finding out how many hundreds of pounds he could lift. kody in a fight? probably losing within the first five seconds, unless bloods drawn and the instinct to pounce takes over. Species: vampire How do they feel about it?: hates it. would do anything to reverse it. wishes he had just stayed a little longer at karma cafe that night. or had never gone at all. How do they look in their supernatural form?: pretty much the same, however when he’s hungry and near blood, his eyes go all dark and bloodshot, and the veins around his eyes start to pulse ( basically just like vampire diaries ), but kody is unaware of this since he’s never seen it happen to himself or another vampire
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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years
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Re: cultural appropriation
Some things I’ve picked up over the years. Can’t say I really have a comprehensive understanding on this.
Caveat: white person blind spots
Also it’s first thing in the morning and my words might not be working yet.
It’s about power. Sure, cultural exchange and influence is normal and universal, but “everybody is influenced by everyone else!” isn’t the same as your boss taking credit for your work.
So, one aspect is who gets the credit
Another aspect, related, is who gets the money.
Another is…when things cross cultures it’s often like a game of telephone. Which isn’t a huge deal if the original thing is something light or funny that nobody really minds getting distorted. But if it’s something that people do mind, religious stuff for instance, that’s more of a problem.
There’s an ownership/control aspect, where people who feel like everything else they had got stolen can get more possessive about what’s left. If that makes sense.
Basically this is one of those things where you can’t sit in a room and figure out first principles and assume they apply to every potential instance of appropriation the same way. Different cultures have different attitudes about appropriation and logic is inferior in this case to actually listening to people. (It seems like white people figuring out appropriation often want one universally applied standard, and that’s just not possible.)
Sometimes appropriation is a hell no. (Some people say “misappropriation” to distinguish between appropriation that’s just kind of funny or otherwise not really a problem and appropriation that’s bad. In practice I’ve found people making a distinction between cultural exchange and cultural appropriation are always dismissing bad-appropriation as a concept.) Native American sweat lodge ceremonies for instance. Another example that’s been talked about a lot in recent years is racist Halloween costumes.
There’s other things where it’s more subtle. My understanding is no one actually has a problem with Westerners doing yoga, but there is some general exasperation with yoga done just as exercise, without the spiritual context. Generally people don’t really object to their cuisine getting around either, but the “who gets the credit and who gets the money” issue is still active. So people will still talk about cultural appropriation in a food context even though they don’t mean “don’t eat food from other cultures.”
I have not been able to get a definitive answer about chakras, beyond “the rainbow colors thing is kind of an add-on.” There may be an answer but I don’t know what it is.
Sometimes (mostly white) people apply the concept of appropriation where it’s not relevant in a way that’s harmful. For instance, some people got the idea that the Black Panther movie was “for black people” and therefor white people shouldn’t watch it. This is backwards and counterproductive. (And possibly a way to get away with “I don’t want to watch it because watching a movie with that many black characters makes me uncomfortable” while sounding progressive.)
This has two applications: firstly, that if you want to do something about appropriation and it’s not your culture, you have to let people from that culture take the lead, or risk doing more harm than good. Secondly, that people who aren’t from a culture who say “this is appropriation” might be wrong and you don’t automatically have to listen to them (although what usually happens is people feel like they either have to do what those people say or else reject the validity of entire concept of cultural appropriation; I would like to see more of “That doesn’t sound right to me, but I’m going to look into that because I do take cultural appropriation seriously.”
I wanna give you a further reading link list, but honestly my sources here have been so disparate I don’t know what to say.
I would recommend seeing recognizing cultural appropriation as one facet of anti racism work and not making it the main focus. It gets blown out of proportion on social media where people are looking for someone to be angry at, but it’s not what’s doing most of the harm racism wise. (Gonna repeat white person blind spots caveat, I could be wrong (and definitely don’t use my stance as a gotcha when arguing with someone else), but I’m pretty sure about this one.)
One aspect of that is focus on cultural appropriation almost always focused on individuals and very small groups, and takes attention away from seeing racism as a collective problem requiring collective solutions. For instance, the problem of police officers killing black people has nothing to do appropriation, and everything to do with systemic racism (and systems of power that impede accountability.)
For paganism and witchcraft specifically: we’ve had appropriated stuff being circulated around for decades and it’ll take a while to figure out where we’re going from here. In the meantime, apparently the white sage thing is a big deal; being sensitive to which traditions are open to you and which are closed to you is a good idea (sometimes you might see a specific person use an element of a tradition they’ve been initiated into that you haven’t been, be chill); be aware that “spirit animal” is a serious business thing and not a synonym for “guide that takes a shape of an animal”; keep in mind that not all Witchcraft is Wicca or Wiccanate so be cautious about general “this is how witchcraft is done” statements.
In general just be a person interacting with other people, you know? Sometimes people present as super angry because they’re assholes, but other times it’s because you said something really out of line, and if you can’t tell which it is try to not assume it’s the first.
But if you do get dogpiled on and later realize they had a point, it doesn’t mean you’re utter trash. Things are less about you than you think they are. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is respond as though you got the nice patient “here’s what’s wrong with that” even though you actually got the yelling version. (Respond as in how you live your life. If someone’s yelling at you or making personal attacks, I would recommend disengaging as soon as possible. There’s…kind of this weird fetish in social justice circles for perfect instant apologies. If you can do that and you think it’s right, fine, but disengaging and not interacting is also fine, especially if you don’t even know anyone who’s being angry at you. If you do know someone and want to mend fences, chances are they’ll understand if you need time to cool down/for them to cool down.)
I found an article once on this white guy who went to India and got attacked by a mob because he had a tattoo of a Hindu goddess on his lower leg. The problem wasn’t the tattoo, but the location, which was a big no. This is an example of the closed tradition/open tradition model being not entirely sufficient; often what people get mad about isn’t whether outsiders are interacting with their tradition, it’s about whether they’re doing it respectfully. (Christian churches tend to have rules about who can take communion and what you should wear; other religions have rules that are important to them but are open to outsiders who respect the rules; others have had too many outsiders showing up and talking through the service so they’re closed, and the one thing all these groups have in common is the people in the groups get to decide what their rules are. (And sometimes people in the group disagree on what the rules should be and that’s normal…but you wouldn’t show up to a church service in a bathing suit snd go “well, this one person said it was ok, I guess the rest of you just have to deal with it”, I got no social skills and hate conformity (and dress codes) and even I can get my head around that.))
Anyways, at its basic level the opposite of cultural appropriation is respect and treating people like people and … basically the golden rule applied to cultures or religions rather than to individuals, you know? Believing that other cultures are on the same level as Western culture and deserve to have their own standards respected, believing that other religions are fundamentally as legitimate as Christianity and deserve to get their rules respected — rules about who is a member of that religion, rules about how outsiders should behave when interacting (including rules that say no interaction at all.)
And about power and credit and money, and acknowledging that while everyone’s on an equal plane in terms of deserving respect, not everyone is on an equal plane in terms of ability to fuck the others’ lives up.
It is about being a guest, and being respectful as a guest, and recognizing when other people like you (or even you yourself) have been terrible guests so you’re not getting the benefit of the doubt, and recognizing when the power dynamics are all wonky so that there’s an inequality around who can get away with what.
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anarcho-smarmyism · 4 years
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Long post heads up
so im assuming this will be controversial but i’ve been thinking about this for a while, so please hear me out on this: pagans, even white American ones, literally are marginalized. now, i realize that by making this post i’m opening myself up to a lot of ridicule and accusations, so i ask that yall please do me the courtesy of actually considering what i have to say before you write this post off completely.
a few things to get out of the way first: to act like it’s equivalent to widespread racialized religious discrimination against well-known established religions such as Judaism or Islam is obviously wrong. to act like modern pagans aren’t mostly white and that our communities don’t have huge issues with racism is obviously wrong. i laugh at most posts criticizing pagans, because i genuinely think most of them are funny; it often comes across to me mostly as bemused roasting more than anything actually hateful. i feel like pagans often just need to learn to take a joke and take ourselves a little less seriously, as many religious people need to remind themselves. also, as someone who’s been hanging out in these groups for about 6 years now, i’ll outright tell yall that most pagan groups have ongoing issues with racism, transphobia, ableism, and other social prejudices, as well as the aforementioned predators and cults. many many pagans really do just go “lols The Spirits Don’t Care About Race silly sjws” and then appropriate the hell out closed traditions and act disrespectful as hell to the people who say it’s wrong; if you’re criticizing us for shit like this, GOOD. That’s legitimate criticism that we choose to ignore far too often. 
however, more and more of the “criticism” i see on here toward pagans is just saying we’re crazy, stupid, gullible, or other shitty nu-atheist talking points that have just been repurposed to target a growing fringe subculture that has been widely declared an acceptable target by culturally christian progressives AS WELL AS the religious right.
the justification for this is that no white pagans are discriminated against for being pagan, and i know for a fact that isn’t true. all the pagans i talk to report having to keep it a secret from family, friends, or coworkers -but for this post, i’ll keep it limited to my own experiences. i was abused by my parents as a minor for converting from christianity to a pagan faith, and having to keep my religion and experiences a complete secret from most of my friends and family really did take a toll on me. now, as an adult, i’ve learned to keep my religious beliefs a secret from most strangers and especially anyone who might know me at work, because people will start treating you differently -either like you’re evil, or gullible and stupid in a way they (mostly) don’t accuse mainstream religions of. when i was in the psych ward, i was refused my paperback holy text which i had brought with me for the same reason a christian would bring a bible into a scary and traumatic situation, but because the mainly-christian patients were bullying me for being pagan and the nurses didn’t want to deal with it, so the staff withheld it from me for 3 days until i could talk to a social worker. when my aunt took me in so i could move away from my parents, she coaxed me into sharing about my religion, which i naively did because it was rare for people to take an interest in it, and then the next day she told me if i didn’t get rid of all my “occult” stuff (mostly books and tarot cards), she would kick me out. i can’t get holy days off and in some states i can’t run for a lot of public offices unless I’m Christian. (yeah, i realize the post is talking about atheists, but people use those same laws against pagans as well, because as far as they’re concerned, we don’t believe in God, either.)
if any of this happened because i converted to buddhism or another well-known established open religion, people would call it religious discrimination. non-pagans who talk about this almost always say “yeah well you CHOSE to convert that religion, it isn’t a culture or religion you were raised in”, as though that means we’re under some obligation to quietly absorb any insults or abuse related to something so universally personal as one’s faith -like why does it matter to yall if i was raised in this faith, or converted? why is a faith only “real” if you were raised in it, or are adopting it literally from your direct ancestors?
i realize to people who aren’t religious that this may sound like nonsense, but my experience as a kid wasn’t that it looked cool and trendy and i wanted to feel special. i’m sure that some people are like that, but on the by and large, that’s just a strawman. Personally, whether my experiences that led me to convert were real or not is irrelevant: I was a kid who needed to be able to confide in adults about what i was going through, but the fact that I had started to perceive the world vastly differently than Christians did, and no longer believe in Christian theology, meant it was unsafe for me to do so. not being able to talk to anyone about it without getting either literally accused of being crazy, demonically possessed (happened many times) or like i was just stupid caused real, lasting damage. instead of being the source of stability, comfort, and fellowship that faith can be during difficult times, it’s often been something i feel i need to either hide from others, or defend my right to care deeply about.
as a result of people taking this attitude toward pagans, i and many other young pagans have to rely on online spaces to find any kind of fellowship with people who believe the way that we do. this is isolating and uncomfortable for most, and legitimately dangerous for some. see, if you confine a whole subculture to be either a joke or Satanic depending on your political leaning, the subculture generally develops an Us Against Them in-group/out-group mindset, which makes it much easier for predators and some actual cults to prey on vulnerable people.
keep in mind: pagans are not a monolith; it’s an umbrella term for a lot of different religions. (i don’t claim any kind of ancestral tie to my particular pagan faith, but since it was always an open culture and religion, it doesn’t matter if i have a “hereditary right” to it.) there are a lot of pagans of color, even including Heathenism which has a literal Nazi problem. (i’m referring to people i’ve met irl as well as online here.) lots of young queer people who feel rejected by mainstream religions find a lot of comfort in worshipping queer icons like Loki, Dionysus, Artemis, Set, etc. When you write off pagans as a whole for being just dumb racist white people, you throw them under the bus by erasing them. you isolate them the same way you do me, and they are even more likely to experience the kind of discrimination and abuse i have. is it really worth it to make them feel even more alienated in their religious choices, because they go against the mean-spirited stereotype that secular and non-pagan progressive people have crafted for pagans? 
Also, antifascist and progressive pagans are already swimming against the tide to make social prejudices persona not grata within our spaces, and it makes pagan reactionaries’ recruitment tactics WAY more effective when the world around new, insecure pagans tells them they’re automatically racist privileged white people for being interested in paganism. you don’t need to have any sympathy for bigots, but you should at least acknowledge the end result of this kind of rhetoric. i don’t like it either, but most people aren’t going to stop being pagan, or stop talking about it publicly altogether (as that seems to be the only thing that will make yall happy lol) when people make fun of them constantly; they’re gonna dig their heels in and do the in-group out-group thing people always fuckin’ do in these situations. that mindset makes otherwise-normal people, who may have been willing to learn and grow out of their background prejudices under other circumstances, easier for the truly racist monsters in our community to begin grooming.
paganism is a swiftly growing counterculture, and it’s more than likely that at some point it’s going to be part of a larger conversation on religious freedom. i don’t think people on tumblr or twitter roasting pagans is discriminatory necessarily, but life isn’t split up into “discrimination” and “okay things to do”. yall are pretty obviously just petty and excited to make fun of people who you think are weird, because yall can easily insist that every pagan is a privileged racist cis white lady, therefore it’s totally okay to be rude, dismissive, or just outright mean-spirited to pagans as a group because you’re pretending your bullying is enlightened or required by social justice laws. this is what we in pagan culture call “a dick move”. 
besides, it’s ten thousand times more accurate and funnier to roast us for being too self important and arguing over whether emoji spells are Serious Magic or not lmao.
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rem-ir · 4 years
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Would you be able to point me to more writing on/discussion of "podcast brown" and the like? You have some really good takes and I'm interested in learning more
I am slowly assembling a collection of more writing on it but it will take a while because a lot of people have discussed the same phenomenon without using the words “Podcast Brown.” Here’s one post I saw recently about the phenomenon, for instance.
Many of my thoughts on the Podcast Brown phenomenon formed around discussions of race in the Old (pre TV show) Good Omens fandom a couple years ago. There used to be a trend, and I was guilty of it too, of drawing one of the characters vaguely brown with no specificity, and making another of the characters a white, cherubic blond. The implication of brown devil/white angel was what the discussions focused on. 
I think this phenomenon was different from the Podcast Brown phenomenon, because Podcast Brown comes of half-assed attempts to fix a canon’s lack of representation, and ambiguously brown angel/white devil (EDIT: I mean ambiguously brown devil/white angel oops brain slip) was just like, fandom uncritically replicating the aesthetics of hundreds of years of western christian art. @a-poc-alypse has a good back-catalog of discussions of race in the pre TV show Good Omens fandom.
Another thing that influenced my thoughts on Podcast Brown was the recent Barnes and Nobles “Diverse Covers” controversy. It’s hard to believe it was only this February. Holy crap, it’s been a long few months. Anyway, what happened was that Barnes and Noble, in honor of Black History month but without really thinking it through, was going to come out with covers featuring people of color on well-known books that either did not feature people of color, or did but in racist ways. Authors of color spoke up about this, pointing out that the covers did not actually make the books more diverse, that it was deceptive to put people of color on books where they weren’t featured, and that it would do much more good to promote books by authors of color actually featuring characters of color.
I don’t think Podcast Brown is comparable to a major bookseller chain’s attempt to capitalize on Black History month and posture as woke with no effort, for the important reason that your average audiodrama fan isn’t working for profit. I’m willing to assume good faith when there’s no profit. Fandom recreates and reinvents media through new lenses for the sake of recreation and reinvention, not for marketing stunts. I believe fandom adding representation where there is none is a positive thing, even though people sometimes fall short of doing it well. I don’t think people should stop trying to add representation! They should get better at it, but they should keep trying!
But I think the B&N covers controversy brings up an important subject that doesn’t often come up all the time when we talk about people in fandom trying to add representation: you wouldn’t have to “add” diversity to source media that was already diverse in the first place.
It’s easy to gripe about Jon Sims Themagnusarchives being drawn by fans as Vaguely Brown with no effort to give him a specific identity, or with no effort to think about how a specific identity would interact with the canon traits and trajectory of the character. I’m doing this right now. The trend annoys me. Git gud and give him a specific identity! And think it through!
It is less easy to outright say that this only happens because the show is (was? It’s in its last season and it’s too late to do anything about the casting of the central characters) very white. It is, thankfully, not entirely white, but too many of the characters of color (with a couple of exceptions like Basira Hussain and Anabelle Cane) are either minor or one-off characters. Most of the central characters aren’t, to my knowledge, assigned any specific identity, but are voiced by white actors. Who is represented here? Not me. This is a blank canvas that fans can choose to imagine representation on, and however fans fill it doesn’t change the fact that it’s blank in the first place.
I try to be optimistic about Podcast Brown, because it’s better than its predecessor, White Blond Twink syndrome (I was not around for the old school WTNV fandom but I’m still aware of some of the conversations that happened in it.) After all, people in audiodrama fandoms today want lead characters of color! People in audiodrama fandoms won’t complain about so-called “forced diversity,” they want more diversity! I want more lead characters of color voiced by actors of color and ideally written by writers of color, and I’m not the only one.
And this is where I run out of things to say, because I don’t have answers. I hope cleverer people do, though.
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