#asadsapphire

[asadsapphire]

#asadsapphire #mine #reading #grand teton national park #lake #relaxing #aesthetic #personal

[asadsapphire]

it does seem a little unfair

for you to tell me

that following my dreams

means leaving you behind

i had hoped you would want

to follow me anywhere

after you burnt down our home

and i had to rebuild it

but you probably don't remember it that way.

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poetry #poem

[asadsapphire]

I don't even have words for how heartbroken I am

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #justin

[asadsapphire]

(not) new idea: I'm going to embroider my favorite poems onto random things (not well though)

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poem #writing #thoughts #crafts #embroidery

[asadsapphire]

I can't imagine looking at you and uttering something so disheartening as "there's nothing about you that I like" even after all this time

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #oh well #writing #thoughts #Justin #12/27/22

[asadsapphire]

if i could just sleep until march

#mine #personal #asadsapphire

[asadsapphire]

the house breathes to life at midnight a whisper that banishes any chill creeping in the curtains stay drawn shut, lest i be tempted by the green that has managed to cling to the grass a betrayal that stings more than the cold air ever could

there is always the feeling of unjust, that i should have to exist long after the flowers have withered away and the bees have made peace with the sleep that will carry them through spring, and i must wait patiently for the world to come back to life

i’ll watch as the stars are blotted out of existence and the moon will hide behind storms brewing and i wish i could join them as the world becomes as barren as i feel

i cannot fathom how others survive even as color is leeched from our world the earth now blanketed in black and white winter, surely the slowest way to die.

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poem #poetry #draft #writing #seasonal #sad #mood #12/22/22

[asadsapphire]

I actually, quite literally, would just like to die.

#mine #asadsapphire #personal #oh well #suicide

[asadsapphire]

I remember being a teenager, a child really, and learning how to tip toe around people's feelings, how to walk on eggshells and swallow my own emotions. Never knowing the difference between a disagreement and an argument, because in their eyes disagreement couldn't be standing up for myself or putting myself first. It was to challenge them, an act of war. Unacceptable. And in the end, was it really worth it? Isn't it nicer to just swallow that "actually I don't enjoy this" and my "i would prefer not to do that" just to have some peace? Isn't that easier? Isn't it?

And I'm an adult now, grown out of that environment and I can't imagine living that way. I can't imagine withstanding one second of eggshells digging into my heels. And I won't dare let a grown man touch me without my consent. There are consequences of course. It's all so subtle. The hate in my family and the disdain we have for one another. It's stopping by my house to drop off mail on your day off. It's watching you swallow your feelings to make your husband feel better, while he would dare lay a hand on me. And knowing what I know, and having witnessed what I have, I can't imagine watching you walk on eggshells and feeling sorry for you. You may be the victim, but I won't let you make me the villain because I dared to declare war. Because I refused to have peace and make things easy. I'm not scared to hate you and I'm not scared to stand up for my own feelings.

I hope that one day you are able to declare your own wars and make your own peace, so that you can put yourself first for a change.

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #writing #thoughts #growth #mood #oh well

[asadsapphire]

I never thought I would be soft again. I thought I would be hard and bitter for the rest of my life. An ivy choking out everything in my sight. But now I'm planning a garden and waiting patiently for summer days. I think, for now, everything will turn out okay.

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #writing #thoughts #mood #soft #growth #getting better #it's only been 5 years #longer even still

[asadsapphire]

Hi hello! We've made buttons and we'd love to share them with the world 💚 Check out our link to learn about our shop and products. Every item is handmade with love 💕

#etsy #asadsapphire #mine #small business #buttons #pins #pride #vitiligo #representation #our flag means death #ofmd #etsyshop #stickers #kawaii #cute #fun #summer #teddy #frogs #bunny #froggo #cottagecore #witchcore #collector #love #shop #support #support small #shop small

[asadsapphire]

Stupid girl you gave it all away. Ghosts walk the hallway and leave the kitchen light on at night. She has bruises on her wrists and blood running down her thighs. Abuse both self-inflicted and some gifted Nothing you can ever give back Stupid girl you're barren now with nothing to offer.

You will never be whole. Others decided that for you. You may have given too much away, but they took without asking and didn’t even appreciate what they’d been given. And what had they been given? You should have put up a fight, Do you wish now that you’d put up a fight? Remember what we agreed; honey and sweet tea.  It’s the only peace you’ll get now. But here sits the tea in a box in a cupboard, untouched for months. The honey is bad now. Nothing you do will ever make that sweet again. But maybe it was always bitter and you just never noticed. Tell yourself that you prefer it bitter.

Nobody likes bitter. Nobody will ever want you again.

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poem #poetry #mood #winter #11/27/21 #writing again #triggered #trigger warning #abuse #trauma #ghosts

[asadsapphire]

Hi all! I'm super excited to announce that my Etsy shop finally has all my current sticker designs listed! I've already been working on improving the current designs and creating new designs, so my whole shop is currently Buy One Get Free to make more space for inventory. And if you use code FROGFRIEND10 at checkout you can receive Free Shipping* so I'm basically giving these ones away for free at this point 🙃💚

Simply follow the link or search "FrogPasta" on Etsy 🐸

*currently only shipping within the US until we can update inventory

#etsy #mine #personal #asadsapphire #store #shop #art #smallbusiness #business #design #stickers #cute #frog #bunny #summer #ice cream #support #new #pink #green #orange #supprtsmallbusiness #frogpasta #pasta #sale #bogo #discount #clearance #old inventory #restock

[asadsapphire]

they told me don’t look back they fed me lies and emptied me out barren inside and now i hate you so I’ll become the person i used to be filled to the brim

I’ll sit outside for too long and let the mosquitos bite leave scars along my body because I was always so sensitive overwhelmed not a person anymore

walking, talking, breathing Death don’t get too close, i will ruin you an invasive species, oh so pretty flourishing where I’m not supposed to

don’t you think you could just leave me be let me have my hate and bitter my scars and disappointment the earth conspiring against me can’t I just have this one thing?

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poetry #poem #writing #feelings #feeling a kinda way #sad #depression #mood

[asadsapphire]

I will hate you for the rest of my life. I never wanted to be an addict again.

Your laugh and your eyes, your hands reaching for mine. And the way you abused me.

How am I supposed to trust anyone ever again? The answer is that I won't.

And I will hate you for the rest of my life.

#mine #asadsapphire #personal #poetry #poem #writing #emotions #8/20/21

[asadsapphire]

i make breakfast at noon and force myself to eat it too i pretend i’m not a child again hiding from ghosts under my covers and sleeping with all the lights on i turned back time so i could be young again a person i swore i’d never be again scared of men because of the things they did to me i won’t fight it this time i’ll let time pass by quietly and every night be grateful for the distance put between us

#asadsapphire #mine #personal #poem #poetry #writing #sad #mood #relapse?