#asd life

[talesofanautisticwoman]

Chronically tired

I hate how autism somehow makes me tired all day everyday 24/7. It's often after finishing small tasks my tiredness hits me like a brick.

1. Going for a walk?= tired 2. wanna go the mall?= tired upon arrival 3. wanna go grocery shopping?= tired 4. Oh you wanna go for a car ride=tired 5. Oh you wanna bake a cake?= tired I also somehow manage to only feel like a fully functioning human being for like 2-4 hours a day or less. These days i'm also so burnt out i don't have the energy to do stuff i actually love and are passionate about.. and not having something to hyperfixiate on makes my feel empty inside.

A thing that also makes me feel burnt out is when i accidentally say yes to something i don't want to because i panic. Then i have to gather the courage to call back and say i'm not able to come.

#mentally tired #autistic spectrum #autistic #autism #asd feels #asd life #asd problems #asd community #asd #high functioning autism #autistic problems #autistic feels #autistic life #actually autistic #actually autism #actuallyautistic #actuallyanxious

[talesfrommedinastation]

On Infantilization and Tech

I'll say it because I'm extra spicy today.

I see a lot of folks saying that Tech shouldn't be infantilized, and he should not be kept away from adult relationships.

Got it. 100% agree.

However....

Infantilization isn't just regarding relationships. It also involves how the person is perceived in greater society.

So....when you're writing about Tech, let me ask you:

Is he respected as an adult? His opinion taken seriously?

Are his ideas dismissed as childish or dorky?

Does he have a cool and/or IMPORTANT job? Or is he shoved into Dork Corner dicking around with engine parts?

Is his partner the dominant one who takes charge of everything?

Is it another team member in charge?

Is he contributing in a way that is fulfilling and respectful of his background and knowledge?

Or is he just toddering around until someone rescues him?

I get plot, I understand that character arcs need to happen. But every time I start a fic where Tech's being bossed around or taken care of by someone else, canon or otherwise, I immediately log out.

Why am I saying all of this?

Because I am a neurodivergent person who receives this horseshit on a regular basis.

I'm not a dumbass or lazy. I have a Ph.D and have been working in my field for 16 years. But I have been passed over and mocked and teased and shoved into corners because I'm biologically female, I'm a wife and mother, and I am vaguely on the spectrum.

Poor wittle Dr. Meat Muffin and her weak womanly ways, must help her over puddles and shit.

I'm putting in my yearly review right now. I expect that I will be talked down by my department director, despite performing wildly well.

I will be going to a conference shortly too. My colleagues with the smoother, charming voices will use the grants I wrote as a basis for THEIR grant writing course, of which I am being forced to take.

Learning about writing properly using your own writing as an example is a level of hell I didn't know existed and yet, here I am.

Maybe it's God's punishment for that Spiderman/Tech drawing I did earlier, who the fuck knows.

The point is, when you're writing about neurodivergent people, give them opportunities to use their skills and brains and contribute in fulfilling ways.

There's more than one way to infantilize someone, don't be that person.

Bleh.

#meat muffin's mad #asd #asd life #infantilization #tech talks #writing #tech tbb #the bad batch #tech star wars #i hate my job

[autisticdreamdrop]

we have the constant need to stim, for so many reasons and that's hard to say, but it is okay. if you stim constantly, a lot, some, a little, or none at all you're still valid and it's okay to stim.

#blurry #group post #autism positivity #autistic positivity #asd #autism #stim #stimmimg #stims #asd life #autism spectrum disorder #autism posting #autsitic posting #actually autism #actually autistic #autism spectrum #autistic #autistic life #autistic spectrum #being autistic

[nympha-foresta]

I'm not autistic enough to appear autistic. I'm not normal enough to appear normal.

I'm just the weird girl that talks to much or just don't talk at all.

I'm the autistic that people don't want around.

I am lovable from a distance, sweet and charming until they get too close, and they realize I'm sensitive so they have to walk on eggshells around me.

The closer they get, the more they see that too much sensory causes meltdowns and that sometimes I can be a bitch because I don't want them to talk to me.

Because I don't want to be touch.

Sometimes I'm too weird because all I want to do is talk.

And I talk way too much about things I like, and then to become bored and angry when listening to things I don't like.

I'm loveable from a distance I'm people pleaser because I smile often and laugh easily.

I care about others, until I care too deeply, too quickly and I scare them away.

I'm loveable until they get to know me and then I'm too much.

I'm weird and sensitive, selfish and entitled.

I'm manipulative and ungrateful and disrespect.

I'm a crybaby and too intense..

I'm not normal enough to fit in but not autistic enough to "excuse" my behaviour.

They don't believe me when I say I'm autistic. So it doesn't give them an explanation on why I growl when my flow is interrupted or why I complain when the systems, the plans are changed.

It doesn't explayn why certain clothes, textures, pressures cause meltdowns and anger.

Or why I talk really loud when I get excited, or why I get quiet and upset when I told I meed to lower the volume just a little bit.

I see other autistics around me celebrated and loved of their differences and I feel like I got stuck with all the traits that make me unlovable.

And got none of the traits people like and admire.

Even in the autistic community, I don't feel like I'm autistic enough and it's so incredibly hard to feel like I don't fit in whit even with the other "outcasts and misfits"

#vent post #actually autistic #autistic adult #autistic problems #autistic women #my autism #asd #asd life #tism tag #autism spectrum disorder #autism vent #vent tag #autistic community #autistic girl #i have autism #autistic feels

[mxshr0mz]

"babe its two am go to sleep" "and here we have a limited edition springtime 1998 model furby but it was released in spring time of 2000, isn't that crazy!??"

#autistic things #actually autistic #autism #audhd #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #autism awareness #autism memes #autism things #autism spectrum disorder #autistic experiences #asd #autistic community #asd community #autistic #asd problems #asd life #actually audhd #actually adhd #audhd problems #audhd things #audhd brain #adhd #neurodiverse #adhd brain #adhd things #adhd problems #adhd stuff

[vykko]

Got new headphones

I where them as sensory input like I love the feeling of them on, I finally got new ones that aren’t the cheap crappy ones that break quickly and

a artist rendition of the happy dance I did also happy Stims I’ve done because of them

swetch

I’ll make a better version maybr

#asd life #autism #headphones #comfort item #drawings #rough drawing #autistic community #body stimming #stimming positivity #adhd stimming #actually adhd #actually autistic

[karimac]

You wait months to get an answer to a question, and suddenly everything hits at once. I’m glad, but wow. Hurricane season of paperwork!

#government moves in mysterious ways #nonprofits move in mysterious ways too #ASD life #love my son #hope this all works

[chasecthompson]

Autistic Accommodations In College

For my autistic friends! I struggle a lot with everyday tasks, and recently started college, and some really good things to look into for colleges is what accommodations they offer before you accept admission. Some really important accommodations are single rooming, housing close to food, and study buddy programs. These obviously aren’t all accommodations you will need and every person is different, but these are the accommodations I've found most help me. 

-Single rooming can help you let yourself stop masking and be yourself, as well as have meltdowns in peace when you have to. Kerry Magro, an autistic talk show host, talks about accommodations within resident halls at https://www.autism-society.org/ask-expert-living-college-dorm-autism-spectrum/. She touches upon her own experiences both as a resident and resident assistant where she realized that single rooming deeply impacted her and allowed her to unwind and not worry about problematic social experiences with a roommate.

-Living close to food (specifically premade food) can be really helpful in reducing the amount of steps and transitions it takes to eat, which has personally allowed me to eat more regularly than I ever have before. Cynthia Kim, in her blog Musings of an Aspie says: “In practice, executive function is a slippery concept. Sometimes it looks like responsibility. Sometimes it looks like self-discipline. Sometimes it looks like being a competent adult. If you have poor EF, people might mistake you for being disorganized, lazy, incompetent, sloppy, or just plain not very bright.”. This helps to explain a bit how executive functioning may change a person entirely from how their efforts should place them. A student who wishes to be very healthy and proactive might only be able to plan far enough to eat junk food and do things at the last minute. Brian Willoughby adds onto this thought at https://www.aane.org/executive-functioning-explained/  by listing how there are several common executive functioning issues often observed in autistic individuals. “For instance, many have trouble shifting sets, namely becoming stuck on a particular line of thinking or showing difficulties tolerating changes in routine”, like changing where we eat our food or what we eat. Adult Autism Center backs up this line of thinking by saying that since executive dysfunction can lead to issues with organizing and sequencing thoughts, lots of people may find it a struggle to complete everyday tasks, such as cooking or even organizing a meal.

-Study buddy programs let you feel a little less alone and isolated when you need help with something academic, especially when it’s hard to make connections or organize studying on your own.  Studying with another student or multiple people allows autistic people to participate in body doubling, a method of productivity where a person's brain finds completing a task easier if there is another person in the room. Marci Wheeler, who has a Master of Social Work, highlights seemingly invisible challenges that autistic people face that are unknown to lots of people around us. She touches on https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca/articles/academic-supports-for-college-students-with-an-autism-spectrum-disorder.html on how as a result of these challenges, the observable behaviors of Autistic students may make us “appear inattentive, bored, rude, defiant or possibly even on drugs.”, leaving us to be freely judged by our teachers and peers, and be excluded from regular studying events by being deemed as not trying hard enough anyways.

#actually autistic #autism accommodations #accommodation #autism #asd life #asd problems #autistic adult

[emmashouldbewriting]

12yo has standardised assessments all week and this morning her anxiety was skyrocketing, it was a rigid, step by step, every movement mattered kind of morning. No breakfast, she hasn't brushed her teeth, her coat smelt weird, her socks were wrong, her bag was checked 5+ times, we covered what the tests mean 30 times... all to the point that *I* have a stress headache from preparing her for it because it's hard.

The SEN lead just emailed me back to tell me that she's on her way to see her and have her sit in a private room with one of the teaching assistants to do the assessments instead of the theatre with everyone else 😭 oh my god I cried 😭 I don't know how we got so lucky with an amazing SEN team at her school but she drops everything to help my girl and I'm so grateful 😭😭

#autism #asd life #autism awareness

[el-blossom]

Update!

I finally got an ADHD assessment 🥳 , turns out i have autism instead just major executive dysfunction lol , now i have to wait for an autism diagnosis appointment 😵‍💫

#adhd in girls #adhd #adhd symptoms #adhd problems #adhd post #autism in women #autism in girls #autism #autism diagnosis #asd life #actually asd #asd diagnosis

[titan-god-helios]

30 days of autism acceptance: day 5

[5 April: Did/do you have accommodations at school/IEP? If not, do you think it would help/have helped you?]

nope, no accommodations as of yet, although as i age and the workload gets a lot harder, i'm beginning to struggle slightly despite my affinity for school previously, so im debating whether or not i should speak to my head of year and talk about some small accommodations (allowing my stim toys and worry journals to be freely used in class, having extensions for homework if my adhd interfered with my time management or other things regarding the hw, asking teachers not to tell me to just get on with work if im in a shutdown and therefore not writing anything and just staring ahead of me or pretending to sleep so i can close my eyes and cover my ears slightly as well as having access to my school's sensory safe room). i think it would really help in some capacity !! in terms of the sensory room though, the library is reopening soon so i hope it wont be so popular that its loud or irritating - then i can use it as a sort of replacement sensory room. however, since im self diagnosed and my parents brushed me off when i came to them about an adhd diagnosis, im not too sure how things would go down if i actually requested those accommodations. plus im (barely) managing for now so i think im doing fine for now.

#2023 #30daysofautismacceptance #autism #being autistic #autism awareness #actually autistic #autistic advice #actuallyautistic #asd #asd life #actually asd #autism life #neurodivergencies #its the neurodivergency #neurospicy #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #support needs #autistic stuff #autistic student #its the tism

[talesofanautisticwoman]

It's weird how going on walks is so refreshing for other people.. and it's something that makes me tired af. Every time i go for walks i get so tired, and that tiredness can last for the whole day.

When my family goes for walks they feel "refreshed and more awake" as they say. However i just get tired and feel like laying in my bed for hours upon hours. So when i actually go for walks, i mostly do it in the afternoon.

What about you? does going for walks mak you tired as well or is it just me?

#nature walks #daily walks #autistic spectrum #asd #asd life #autistic #actually autistic #actually autism #actuallyautistic #growing up autistic #being autistic #autistic adult #autistic problems #autistic experience #autistic experiences

[talesfrommedinastation]

On Neurodiversity and Parenting

Before I get into the meat of this, let me tell you about one of the best vacations I’ve ever had as a parent. 

It was a group of my good friends, all alumni of the same university. We all graduated in the same year, we had all been roommates, the works. But we are now super busy professionals, and hadn’t seen each other in years. 

So, we organized a 5 day long extravaganza in the desert. We rented a massive house with a HUGE, gorgeous pool, a game room, volleyball court, and plenty of bedrooms for the people coming. We had two married couples, two single people, and 4 kids in between the ages of 1 to 7. The area surrounding us had museums, outdoor activities, and a few breweries. 

It should have been hell, especially for someone like me, who has mild ASD, shoved into this house with all of these people. Noise, socializing, the whole kit and kaboodle. 

It was awesome. Why? 

My daughters (both of whom are very young) were always fed, watched over, and entertained by the two other kids and at least another adult at all times. Responsibilities were shared, and communication was crystal clear. I myself was never stressed out, worried, angry, or overwhelmed–all things that happen when you have ASD and loud, social activities are happening.  

We, as adults, all took turns with the kids and allowed ourselves to retreat and relax when it was needed. The kids, as a result, were all conked out by 7 pm, allowing us to mingle and chill on our own time. It was one of the few vacations I’ve taken as a parent where I came back refreshed and recharged. 

I bring this up, because many times, neurodiverse individuals are often infantilized, belittled, or even mocked when we talk about having families. Worse is the borderline eugenics comments, the ‘do you want more people like you in the world’ remarks. Which is disgusting, but not unexpected. 

I’m also writing this because our favorite neurodivergent clone, Tech, finds himself as the father of a small daughter in Far Past the Ring. I went through this storytelling route as I wanted to not only explore Belter vs Clone biology (more on that later) but also how neurodiverse folks can successfully parent. 

Far Past the Ring is not meant to be a found family fluff piece–it is an epic story of two cultures meeting, working together, and fighting for their right to live.

It’s also about the growth of Tech from a defective commando in a massive army to becoming a leader amongst his chosen people, the Belters of The Expanse. 

Besides, I do not like most of the formats in which Tech is presented with kids when it is written–he’s often seen as bumbling, cold, or irritated, none of which is flattering, or, to be perfectly candid, canon (The man can handle himself in battles and facing monsters, but not a whining kid? Come on now, his brother is Wrecker). I think it paints an unflattering picture of how neurodiverse people are interpreted as parents, and I find that both ableist and, quite frankly, ignorant. 

I say this, again, as a neurodiverse mother of two neurotypical girls, both of whom are bright, happy, loved children. 

So, let’s dive in. 

How to Successfully Parent as a Neurodiverse Individual:

- Support: Teamwork makes the dream work. This is one of the biggest things in successfully raising children, and one I hope you’ve gathered from both the story above and in Far Past the Ring. But it especially rings true for the ND parent, who might be exhausted socially and psychologically from being ‘on’ with a small child, constantly. 

I myself have struggled with this, as my daughters love their mama, and often climb, grab, yell, and scream, even when it makes me anxious and worked up (being touched out is AWFUL, let me tell you).

But having other outlets of affection and support for children helps an ND parent. Knowing that they had other people to help them makes me a better parent, and my daughters are confident in knowing that so many in this world love them. 

One especially cruel comment screamed at Tech by his daughter’s aunt in Far Past the Ring is that he is ‘not wanted, nor needed’. While this is tragic that Tanke Drummer said this to him (and has extreme ramifications throughout the story), she was not entirely incorrect. 

Omega 'Meg' Drummer, Tech’s daughter, was currently being raised by not only her mother, but also by two aunts, an uncle, and older cousins that were always there to take care of her in a massive family compound. She was also being raised in a culture that is very community oriented: a necessity for Belters to survive in a dangerous environment such as space. 

Hence why Sjael Drummer, Meg’s mother, is not especially angry or resentful when she sees Tech again. She’s had help and support, no questions asked, in raising their little girl. As she says in Into the Techiverse, Tech is a piece of the puzzle that fits in perfectly when he does arrive. 

The story would be much, much different if it was just Tech and his child’s other parent doing it alone. There would be a lot more stress, anxiety, and anger, no doubt.

But they are not, and that makes the difference.

Because of the communal nature of the Belters, not unlike those of the clones, and the large network of friends and family that live and work together on Medina Station, Tech and Sjael are not overwhelmed or stressed with their daughter. Additionally, Tech came into the picture when Meg was a toddler, not as an infant, so things are bound to be different. 

Later, when Tech becomes more entrenched within the Drummer family, when he’s worn out, there’s other family members to help, the man doesn’t even need to ask. Homeboy won the support lottery, per se. Speaking of which…

- Communication: It was mentioned in previous author’s notes, but being able to effectively talk to your parenting partner is even more crucial than your romantic partner, simply because you have other lives depending on you. In the case of my vacation example, my friends and husband are all massive talkers with no filters. 

Passive aggressive hints that my ND self would have missed–well, that just didn’t happen! When someone was exhausted, needed a break, or needed to do something (cook, clean, etc), it was either verbally stated or texted, and quickly adhered to. 

Tech, luckily, managed to knock up a Belter. The Belter culture of The Expanse is not only community oriented, but their communication style is very forward and blunt. Passive-aggressive, subtle behaviors are a waste of time to them. If something is needed by another person, it is stated quickly and without issue.

After all, Belters are people who spend their entire lives in space. As a result, things must happen efficiently, or terrible occurrences can happen. Not only that, but Sjael Drummer lives with her extended family, where everyone is either talking or communicating via text or message on their comms devices, a necessity for space living and survival that is a common part of Belter life. 

If our neurodivergent prince needs help, he can easily blurt it out and be helped, no judgment at all. And having that takes a massive load off of your back as a parent, especially if you are ND. 

- Have A Retreat: Admittingly, living in a house with tons of other people can be hell for the ND individual. I struggled with that as a kid in a massive Catholic family, but luckily, had a retreat for myself when I was overstimulated via my bedroom. Thus, I’ve learned, having a recharge station (like an office or a bedroom) is necessary for a successful ND parent. Currently, I have my office/studio in my home. 

As for Tech, he starts off with Sjael’s room, followed by other spaces as the story unfolds, such as spots on the Rocinante and the massive apartment that Clone Force 99 moves into at the very end of Far Past the Ring. Keep an eye out.

Additionally, he’s never overstimulated by his child, thanks to the supportive network he has. This stems from both from his brothers and his daughter’s extended family, going right back to the communal nature of The Belt.

I say all of this not only as a parent and an ND individual, but as a friend of many on the spectrum as well. I’ve seen some really struggle, and it’s usually due to one of the mentioned things above not being met properly. Where the ND parent is anxious from overstimulation, overwork, or just feeling too much, having help, communication, and an outlet makes them a successful parent.

Actually, I think it would help all of us as parents, now that I think about it.

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the expanse #the bad batch #theexpanse #belter #fanfiction #starwarsfanfiction #tech #the belt #beltalowda #star wars oc #oc child #asd parents #asd life #mom life #parenting #dad tech #tech clone force 99 #parenting tips #i love my daughters #me irl #neurodiverse stuff

[autisticdreamdrop]

Becoming less verbal while stressed but also becoming less verbal when you feel safe and comfortable

We deal with both. We can be stressed and become less verbal but for a lot of us we don't like speaking and when we can just be us, not have to talk, be able stim and use nonverbal communication.. It's amazing

We are like this way around close friends and our mental health team

#honey #shane #autism #autistic #actually autism #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autie #autie joy #autistic joy #autism joy #asd #asd life #autie life #autie posting #autie things #autism things #autistic things #autism spectrum #autism spectrum disorder #autism life #autistic life #being autistic #safe #comfortable #friends #mental health team #our mental health team

[nympha-foresta]

I really want friends, the girls I usually hang out with in college have been ignoring me and leaving me out of activities we should do together and I don't understand why, because I try so hard to keep up with them even though I end up exhausted at the end of the day.

I feel so lonely lately.

#personal post. #vent post #actually autistic #asd life #I really really want to have friends #why is so hard to be loved back?

[racoonsa]

Invisible. Again.

#neurodivergent #asd life #always invisible