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#asexual awareness week
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I was 10 years old when I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I realised I was asexual around the same time as my peers realised they weren’t. In late primary school, the boys and girls didn’t want to play together anymore - they ‘fancied’ and wanted to 'go out’ with each other. I watched girls fighting over boy drama in the cafeteria and wondered what had gotten into everyone.

That’s when I decided I’d attend an all girls’ school under the naive belief that, in the absence of boys, none of the girls would care about sex or dating. I quickly discovered that a same-sex environment had the opposite effect.

By the time I was a teenager, my peers started to wonder what was wrong with me. The sexual frustration was turned up to 100, which made it all the more obvious that I wasn’t reacting the same way as the other teens. While their sexuality was directed towards any nearby boy, a poster of a boy, or even each other, mine wasn’t directed anywhere. And other people wanted to work out why that was more than I did.

Before believing that it was just my innate sexuality, it was easier to assume that I was gay and in denial. Maybe I was molested as a kid and I’d forgotten about it, but been left with psychological scars. I could be hiding a hidden perversion – my dad asked me whether I was into inanimate objects or children when I told him that I wasn’t attracted to men or women. I might be a psychopath, unable to empathise with people enough to deem them attractive. The theory that held the most weight was that I was 'mentally stunted’, and I was treated as such. I started to wonder if they were right.

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At 15, I learned the word asexual. It was during yet another analysis session of my sexuality at school. I described myself as not being attracted to men or women for the thousandth time, and someone suggested I might be “asexual or something.” With a quick Google search, I realised I wasn’t alone. Asexuality is a term used to describe those who experience a lack of sexual attraction and/or low levels of sexual desire towards others.

It wasn’t a mental or physical disorder, or a personality flaw, or anything related to my appearance or my life experiences. It wasn’t the same as being celibate, or anti-sex, or just being a ‘late bloomer.’ It was a legitimate sexual orientation characterised purely by a lack of sexual attraction or desire, meaning that it had no implications on whether an asexual could masturbate, or actually enjoy sex, or have children, or be in a romantic relationship. There were no limitations, just a way to bring a lot of people under one united umbrella.

I had finally found an answer to everyone’s question… only, no one else knew what the hell I was talking about. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop them from spewing the same ignorant views I had been hearing for years.

To an extent, I can’t blame them. It’s been almost 10 years since I discovered the term and it is barely part of public consciousness. It isn’t included in sex education or any conversations about sexuality. We’re left out of policies, pathologised in psychiatry and there is next-to-no representation for asexual people in the media. You can count positive examples on one hand. Most of the time, asexuality is either a fleeting reference, the butt of a joke, or a trait in a character that’s either an alien, robotic, or evil – a manifestation of their lack of empathy. Think your Sheldon Cooper, your Data from Star Trek, your Lord Voldemort.

Especially for women, it’s seen as a symptom of their prudishness, unattractiveness or overall blandness, which needs to be resolved by the end of the plot so they can be complete, appealing, lovable people. After all, being virginal is a good thing, perpetual sexual unavailability is not, particularly when you need a loving sexual relationship to be whole. Even our non-fiction portrayals tend to conform to stereotypes and perpetuate a ‘woe is them’ narrative. And among all of these things, they’re probably white, occasionally East Asian, but never Black. Black people are hypersexualised to the point where that would become contradictory and confusing for the audience. And that’s what I would end up being.

When I first mentioned on social media that I was asexual, I had no intention of becoming a voice for the asexual community. It seemed too unlikely to contemplate. After all, I was a Black gothic student from Berkshire who got sat on at school because I was that invisible. On top of that, my work as an alternative lingerie model meant I was far from the girl/boy-next-door like the asexual activists who had come before me. But, apparently, that’s what the community wanted. From there, my activism took off.

I quickly found myself becoming one of the community’s most prominent - but unlikely - faces. I used my platform to raise awareness for asexuality, empower asexual people, dispel misconceptions and promote our inclusion in spaces we’ve traditionally been left out of. From incorporating asexuality into lingerie campaigns, speaking at government institutions, being the first openly asexual person to appear on LGBTQ+ magazine covers, and opening asexual spaces, my work has been intersectional if not a little controversial.

I had never experienced hatred online like I have since speaking openly about asexuality. Only through my work did I become aware of acephobia and the exclusionary discourse surrounding what at first seems like an inoffensive and discreet orientation. It’s shown me how important asexuality activism is, and it’s made me aware of just how diverse, powerful and unique the asexual community is. How they stand up for the rights of others even when we’re ignored ourselves, how they’ll never let their invisibility stop them from developing their own unique culture, history, and progressive understanding of human sexuality and love.

This week is Asexual Awareness Week, an occasion founded by Sara Beth Brooks a decade ago. It’s one of the few times in the year that the community demands to be seen and people start looking.

Don’t miss us, we have a lot to show you.

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You might be aegosexual if…

- you enjoy the idea of sex but don’t want to experience it in real life

- you have sexual fantasies but would never want to be IN THEM and the fantasies don’t involve you

- you enjoy reading erotica/ smut fanfics

- - you enjoy absorbing sexual content but it’s never about yourself

- - you like reading smut in third person but find first person to be a huge turn off. And second person is literally The Worst

- you daydream about sexual situations but the people in the daydreams aren’t yourself (or typically even other real people- but your OCs or fictional characters)

- you find yourself looking at attractive people thinking “yeah they’re hot but I don’t want to DO ANYTHING with them”

- imagining the sensory experience of sex makes you question whether it could really feel good as good as it is in your mind

A few years ago there was a person who had cultivated an entire list of acespec identities and lists of common traits. I can no longer find those traits or posts.

SO! This I made this! I’d love for other aego people to add on! And then to add your ideas to the original post.

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evelhakPhoto

I started rewatching BBC’s Sherlock and then I found this old comic I made back in 2016 when the Abominable Bride came out. Didn’t draw much back then but I remember being so pissed about this conversation that I needed to make a parody about it. Definitely not the only annoying thing in that show…

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share this, since I don’t have any new She-Ra content yet. :’D Also I pretty much missed the Asexual Awareness Week, so consider this my late contribution.

I headcanoned Sherlock aro and ace before I even knew those words, because I grew up reading the original stories and I felt like he was the only representation I had before I even knew what exactly he was representing for me. So I will always defend the interpretation of Sherlock that actually just takes what he canonically says, at face value. Whether it’s fictional or real people, when aces and aros claim they don’t experience sexual/romantic attraction, people automatically assume it must mean literally anything else except what they say, and the various interpretations of Sherlock Holmes over the years illustrate that perfectly.

When Sherlock Holmes says he has never been in love, I believe him. For me, he is not secretly in love with Irene Adler or John Watson or anyone else. Because having people not believe what you say for centuries would be even more exhausting than what the rest of us go through.

(That being said, I have absolutely nothing against anyone who romantically/sexually ships Sherlock with someone. Only those who think their interpretation is the only valid one.)

evelhak
evelhak
evelhak
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Asexual week might be over but… we all valid!Late like always but.  

Hey guys!! Hope you had an amazing week full of self love✊🖤🤍💜

 I wanted to make something special and personal so hope you all enjoy it!

Love can come from anywhere, keep an open mind and an open heart <3 and never let other people tell you what you are

We are not broke!

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I think Asexual Awareness week is already over but real quick I got the idea to draw this lovely aroace boy and I wasn’t gonna pass it up. So happy late Asexual Awareness Week! (again;;)

Edit: Someone pointed out that I drew one of the flags wrong. Fixed it!

{ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣(𝕤)/ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣(𝕤): Ink Sans - Comyet/Myebi }

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