#asexual discourse

[melody-tcg]

I've noticed a trend in ace related posts where everything needs to be an educational post about every possible experience but I think what we need to realize is people are posting from their individual experiences and thus won't likely fall under every category

I think we have a very hard time finding representation so we try to make any representation a catch all but that isn't always the answer and feels like punishing people for their experiences not checking every micro label box.

This isn't the most coherent post but I just wanted to possibly start this discussion

Like replying to a sex repulsed alloromantic ace's post about their own experience with "well actually some aces do have sex" or "some aces are aro too" doesn't accomplish anything but put down a person for their experience not being all encompassing. Rather than that maybe focus on creating posts or pushing for representation in media of the different experiences.

#ace characters #ace pride #asexual #ace representation #asexual representation #ace discourse #asexual discourse #queer community #queer #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia+ #lgbt+ #lgbtq community #lgbtqia community #aromantic #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec

[casualbuttercupblog]

*ahem* SHIPPING AN AROACE CHARACTER WITHOUT REGARD TO THEIR ROMANTIC ORIENTATION IS JUST AS BAD AS SHIPPING A GAY MAN WITH A WOMAN 📣📣📣

#aromantic #aro pride #aro discourse #aromantic characters #aro characters #aromantic representation matters #and we get so little of it #asexual #asexual discourse #ace pride #asexual pride #ace representation matters #asexual caracters #yes i am yet again talking about hazbin hotel #yes this is about alastor #give me hat if you really want #alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive old tumblr for the shit it did to the asexual movement.

The fact some people just moved on from that by deleting posts, accounts, side blogs but never apologising or doing anything to mend the harm they caused speaks volumes.

Some people are still active to this day, some who actively posted against asexual people, who made hate blogs for them, who liked and reblogged every single post under the tags, who only ever liked 3 posts but still supported them.

There’s no apologies on the internet; no fully true ones especially not on public socials like tumblr, TikTok, twitter and instagram (I’ll give leeway to platforms like discord as it’s a more inclosed community). So while I wouldn’t have accepted the apology it would have been nice to fucking receive one

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #aro pride #lgbtqia #pride #ace pride #asexual discourse #ace discourse #discrimination #tw acephobia #acephobes fuck off #aphobia tw #poll #polls

[bloggingboutburgers]

Going off what the "prude" anon said and your response to it, may I add that reducing prudeness or purity culture to "not having sex", "not liking sex scenes in movies" or "not being interested in or comfortable discussing sexual topics" is just trying to punish people for having sexual boundaries, and further reinforces the idea that there is a right amount you should be interested in or have sex, and there is a correct way to engage with sex, a standard that you must not stray from, otherwise you'll be seen as a betrayer to your community (lgbt, religious, etc)

It's weird that people feel such a need to control others' relationship to sex so much. It's such a personal thing, and I wish people wouldn't get so offended and defensive when you bring up your boundaries. Even though, it is true, that sex is political in the current landscape, no one should feel pressured into having more or less of it in order to serve some cause or narrative.

Absolutely agreed, honestly, thank you so much for adding this in!

Honestly, sex being political is all the more reason not to let people draw such easy black-and-white and arbitrary parallels. As an aro-ace, personally, I don't take kindly to being used as pro-bigoted argument, OR being mistaken for one. My rapport to romance and sex isn't one pushed by traditional narratives, and if they have it their way, they'll force me into a situation I don't want just like anyone else. Wouldn't care for that at all.

#anon #asexual #asexual discourse

[deakwithit]

you can be a sex repulsed ace and not shame people for having sexual feelings and thoughts.

you can be a sex repulsed ace and not make people feel like theyre disgusting perverts for thinking such "gross" things

you can be a sex repulsed ace and be sex positive for other people as well as advocate/push for safe, consensual sex + kink

#asexual discourse #discourse #lgbt discourse #gay discourse #sex positive #lgbt #panda posting #sung tongs 🐯

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

A cis person can be queer if they are aro/ace. This is because the normative is hetero, cis, sexually/romantically active people. It's not normal to not be any of these things. Hence why it is called "queer". (Don't get me wrong though, it is completely normal! It's just not normal to what society has portrayed.)

Another thing is that someone simply not interested, nor desiring sexual intimacy doesn't mean you can rape them into wanting it. You can't fix an ace person. There is nothing to fix, only your asshole mindset about it.

Its alright for people to identify as aro/ace for as long as they like. It doesn't cause harm to believe you are one thing but aren't really that thing. I identified with aroace for years before I started to mature and actually became more aware of what I wanted beyond toys or when I will get my dessert. Even then I identified with being ace until very recently. It's okay, it's okay to explore your identity and see what does and doesn't work for you.

People simply existing do not harm you, I promise. Let people be aro/ace without you believing that they are attempting to harm someone.

Thank you, much appreciated from a fellow acespec person!

#aroace #asexual #asexual discourse #phobia #aphobia #acespec #aro #aspec

[makingqueerhistory]

Just wanted to thank you for the suggestions for readings about asexuality (:

Of course, I am so glad that I have been able to support all different parts of the queer community! Specifically, it has been so rewarding to look into asexual history and read about asexuality so in-depth, it has enriched my own personal life and made my work overall significantly better.

The silly panic of exclusionists that has largely cooled down (on this social media, at least) in recent years could not have been less justified. Asexuals and discussions that are brought forward by asexuality have been so valuable and have added so much depth to our community. I remember one of the talking points being that asexual people were going to be a drain on resources, and it is honestly almost laughable looking back, considering how much has been gained by the queer community as a whole by the acceptance and support of and from the asexual branch.

#answered #asexual discourse

[monkeyfishgirl]

Big shout out today to everyone who doesn't believe asexual people belong in the lgbtq+ community.

(What I am shouting is 'fuck off')

#special snaps to the uk government that doesn't legally recognise asexuality as a sexuality #fuck you guys specifically (but not literally) #asexual #ace #asexual visibility #asexuality #international asexuality day #lgbtia #lgbt #lgbtqia #asexual discourse

[alexclaain]

being asexual, an adult and still never having had sex without wanting to change it, feels fucking lonely at times. Because majority of asexuals I met with similiar experiences as mine were of the sort of "golden star asexual" or whatever and that's just bullshit and I don't want to associate with that crap.

I just feel really really lonely among other asexuals who still, in the end, have more experience than me, because in this society that marks me as the "weird one", the "childish one", because sex is just connected to adulthood and without you're immature in this worlds eyes.

Adding to that, most representation I've seen of asexuals in media has been of the sort that still has (or had) sex - and that's great for them! But I wish people like myself would be more than the weird nerd person or robot sidekick. I wish adults who choose to never have sex would be treated as adults and full fletched humans too.

#also fuck every allo who heard some asexuals explain that part of us have sex #and now enter every relationship with an ace person expecting them to make exceptions #because some wont!!!!!! #and im tired of allos expecting it from the ace peeps who wont!!!! #this is a really fucking personal rant tbh #if any weird gatekeepy person feels spoken to please fuck off #i genuinely love my asexual pals who had or have sex and they deserve the recognition they all get #i just hate being so othered by society as a result of their visibility #but thats SOCIETIES fault and not of my fellow aspec people #claain rambles #asexual #asexuality #allosexuality #asexual discourse #sexuality discourse

[metapianycist]

a few weeks ago i read Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown by Sherronda Brown and i'm glad i did.

the central theme of the book is a critique of the foundations of asexual exclusionism. asexual exclusionism is the position that asexuality is not in the category "queer," that asexuality is not in conflict with heterosexism, and that it is harmful and homophobic to assert that asexuality is a form of queerness. some exclusionists go as far as saying that no asexual people—not even those who are gay/bi—should describe themselves as queer, because, these exclusionists argue, being "asexual" is the end goal of anti-gay conversion therapy.

until i read Brown's arguments, i hadn't felt particularly strongly in a long time on the question of "are asexuals queer." i deliberately removed myself from that discourse a decade ago, because no one attempting to answer that question on tumblr could expect productive and nuanced conversations (i think this is still the case). i have had the experience of being targeted by organized harassment for my efforts c. 2012 to have nuanced conversations about asexuality in relation to the concept of queerness.

since reading Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, I've felt a new push toward resisting ace exclusionism as part of resistance to exclusionary politics in general.

i highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the nuance of "are asexuals queer" regardless of what your current answer to that question is. i am not going to excerpt anything here, so here's a link to my notes and highlights from the kindle edition.

#metapianycist original post #asexuality #asexual discourse #ace safe

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

The other day I said something and I guess I just wanted your thoughts on it. What I said was that the term "asexual spectrum" really bothered me for the following reasons:

It implies that allosexuals are inherently crazy nonstop sex machines (which is already a stigma bisexuals face) and it can create confusion among people struggling with their identity (which genuinely happened to me, a so-called allosexual with what was at the time an extremely low libido due to various mental health struggles)

There are near infinite ways to experience an emotion (ie attraction), but there's only one way to not experience said emotion

I just wanted to run it by you since you pop up a lot in my feed, seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and are actually asexual and can provide insight that I wouldn't have as an 'allosexual' (God I hate that word, it feels bad in my mouth lol)

Just a quick note: I am not asexual. I thought I was for 7 years (those last two years I used the split attraction model and believed I was asexual AND a lesbian). But after more of my own journey I realized I was just a straight trans man (the lack of attraction stemming from dysphoria in my case). And while I may not be asexual I 1. Was very much involved in the community for a long time, and 2. Firmly believe that everyone has a right to their opinion and are allowed to voice it even if you aren't in that group (with there being respectful ways to discuss things).

Also you can just say non asexual lol. Or just what ever your sexuality is. It's all good.

That said, I 100% agree with you. Your two points are some major ones. My FAQ has links to a ton of posts where I explain more issues with the split attraction model. But a quick summary based on my memory:

-like you said. There's only one way to experience a lack of something.

-boundaries (ie. What you want out of a relationship) are not a sexuality.

-it allows so much overlap between other sexualities that it starts to invalidate and take meaning away from them.

-the model is so broad that anyone can fit into it. It can be used to define anyone, asexual or not. And that leads to lots of confusion and makes the asexuality lose meaning.

-defining every single part of yourself and how you experience attraction is harmful. How you experience/express attraction can change with time. Who you are attracted to (used broadly) cannot. By defining things based on something that can change you head down the slope that sexuality is a choice rather than just who you are. This fuels homophobia and will fuel aphobia. I have met actual people who claim to be asexual and claim sexuality is a choice without any understanding of how homo/lesbo/bi/aphobic that is to say.

-asexuality at this point means something different for everyone. This means I know nothing if you tell me you're asexual. You could be dating everyone on the block or have no interest at all and saying you're asexual. I can't tell. What's the point of using a word to describe yourself if the word doesn't have any concrete meaning?? If someone says their gay or bi I know what that means. I can't say the same for asexuality and I feel bad for actual asexuals who's identity has been taken away like that.

-I have legitimately seen it used to justify being with someone you aren't attracted too. One of my links in my FAQ has stories from asexuals who have had the split attraction model used to coerce them into dating or having sex and how much that messed up their mental health. The justification being "I can have sex to make my partner happy even tho I don't actually find them attractive." When no partner should be asking you to do that. Ever. Every single one of those stories explained how the person thought they were fine until they realized how fucked up it made them.

Check out the FAQ for more. Hope that helps.

#answered #ask #discourse #lgbt discourse #asexual discourse

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Both LGBT people and straight people were jumping on this black asexual women. Mainly saying she couldn’t be asexual because she’s wearing fetish gear(like since when did asexuals have a dress code). In both the quotes and replies. Plus they were asking, “what right do asexuals not have?”

Either way, I think it’s time we had a discussion about asexuality leaving the LGBT community and forming a community of our own and making exclusive organizations that just support US(Asexuals). Because it’s pretty clear the rest of the LGBT doesn’t want us, and I’m not going to waste my time around people who don’t want us.

Here’s Yasmin’s Instagram if you want to support: https://instagram.com/theyasminbenoit?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA==

#asexual #asexuality #ace #acespec #discourse #i guess #asexual discourse #black aces #misogynoir #acecourse #and even Blaire white and Ollie London of all people had shit to say about this woman

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

You guys do realise that saying shit like “repulsed (romance repulsed/sex repulsed) aroaces need to learn that partnering aroaces are just as valid as them and that’s why we can all ship this character” is not respecting either identity??

You are literally invalidating two identities.

Repulsed by refusing to see aroace characters as anything but partnering aroace. You committing the crime you are accusing others of. How about “partnering aroaces need to learn that repulsed are just as valid as they are and that’s why we DONT ship a character”? No? You don’t like that? I ducking wonder why

Partnering by assuming so much shit about how they roll. I’ve seen everything from “cured” to actually decent in depth exploration of the identity while dating. But an overwhelming majority is “aroace people can date” and then dipping the fuck out. No explainagion of identity, no exploration, not even a mention. That’s erasure.

#aromantic #aroace #asexual #aro #ace #aro pride #ace pride #shipping #ship #ships #ace discourse #asexual discourse #discourse #shipping discourse

[maddie-zylophone-hatter]

Can pointless queer discourse end? No, pansexuality is not biphobic or transphobic, and bisexuality is not panphobic or transphobic. The creator of the pan flag is not lesbophobic, they just support people who use mspec or bi lesbian labels, which aren't lesbophobic. The creator of the pan flag support kink at pride, which is fine. kink is still an important part of queer history, so queer people who partake in kink should be at pride. Truscum rhetoric is transphobic and usually excludes nonbinary identities. Asexual people aren't just straight people and they do get discriminated against. Aromantic people are human, and they don't have to explain how their relationships are important. The battleaxe bi tag is becoming a mspec exclusionist dog whistle tag, like why are pan and bi people fighting? Similar labels can coexist without being queerphobic to the other label. Solidarity isn't "clearing your concise of knowing that x label is y phobic". If you don't like the word queer for yourself, use LGBTQ. if you feel like queer is a good description of your identity, use the word queer. Mogai identities are just as valid as any other identity. Even if you dislike someone's pronouns/ think they're "fake", use them. Unlabeled and queer can be synonyms if you want them to be, if they have different definitions to you then use them how you understand them. People can use the term bisexual if they only have an attraction to 2 genders, or it can be attraction to all genders. Don't be rude to someone who you think has "confusing/contradicting labels"

Yes, this shade to a post I saw on my dash that was purposely panphobic.

Instead of fighting about useless shit, lets fight for reproductive rights and making sure lgbtq+ rights aren't stripped away.

minorities can still have bigoted views.

you cant take our queer rights.

-A

Quick edit, it's in the tags, so I thought people might see it: Radfems, panphobes, biphobes, aphobes, transphobes, homophobes, truscum, and queerphobes dni.

I realized trying to change people's minds and fighting is fucking stupid so sincerely, no discourse please?

#queer discourse #queer discussions #panphobia #biphopia #homophobia #queerphobia #mogai discourse #xenogender discourse #aphobia #queer positivity #pronoun discourse #pansexual discourse #bisexual discourse #asexual discourse #aromantic discourse #lgbtq positivity #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtqiia+ #truscum dni #panphobes dni #biphobes dni #transphobes dni #no discourse #bi lesbian #mspec discourse #mspec safe #mogai safe #you cant take our queer right #radfems dni

[apple-bottom-jeansx]

absolutely obsessed with the chaos caused by people trying to figure out how I'm an asexual who's not a virgin and an aromantic who's been in love and is currently crushing on someone

#ace #asexual #asexuality #asexual humor #asexual community #ace community #acespec #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic discourse #asexual discourse #aromantic community #aro community #arospec #asexual aromantic #aro ace #aroace

[moneyfor-nothing]

I am once again confused about and flabbergasted by all the effort aphobes put into ranting about something that has absolutely no real impact on their lives.

Y’all waste so much time and effort going “boohoohoo the labels people use makes me angry cuz xyz” but like? Half the time no one asked, and 90% of the time, no one gives a fuck about you desperately trying to defend hating innocent folks who’ve done literally nothing wrong.

Like it’s almost funny. Why u so pressed about people being comfortable 😂 go touch some grass

#like I have an ex on here who has a blog that’s almost entirely dedicated to ranting about ace people #and literally the only time I ever hear discourse about whether aces should be included in the queer community is here on tumblr #like the only people who think they shouldn’t be is on this hellsite #and everyone else irl is like idgaf let people live their lives #anyways I dodged a major bullet #lgbt #lgbtq #my post #fuck exclusionists #ace discourse #queer discourse #asexual discourse #aphobia #lgbt discussion #ace exclusion #exclusionist tw #lgbt discrimination #anyways aces ily and i hope this blog can be a safe space for y’all ❤️