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islayhawkin · 3 months

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Could that be enough?

Jack dawkins x f!asexual!reader

summery: you're asexual and decide it's time to have the talk with jack

Warnings!: suggestive/sexual topics but only talked about, human body reaction

Hurt/comfort

A/N: this is for the ace representation I myself need in media/fanfiction so I'm doing it myself. If you want this or similar stories with other characters in my list I'm happy to take in every asexual reader request :)

You were both cuddled up on the small bed in jacks room. It was dark except for the candle flickering on the bedside table. Your head lay on his chest and you could hear his constant heartbeat. Your head moved slightly up and down throught his slow breaths. Your arm lazily draped across his waist. He held you softly against him by the hip. Your legs were tangled together.

He kissed your temple and you looked up at him with love in your eyes. "Can I stay for the night?" You whispered.

" 'course. I'm not gonna let you wander home alone in the dark now. I need to stand up early though." He replied softly with a grin.

"Hm. That's alright." You hummed contently and absenently let your hand caress his bare waist. His shirt and waistcoat already taken off for the sake of sleeping.

"You comfy?" He chuckled, which made his chest vibrate.

"Very." You grinned as you snuggled your head demonstratively into his chest.

He smiled at the adorable sight and pulled your head up to his so he could give you a peck on the lips. He caressed your cheek with his thumb. His hair fell messily across his forehead as he looked at you with those big brown eyes. You stroke his hair back gently. He grinned at that action and leaned in to kiss you again. "You're adorable."

"You too jack. You have puppy dog eyes." You giggled.

He chuckled. His eyes switching from your eye to eye and down to your mouth as if to take in every little detail. "I love you" he whispered. His expression now serious. He was suddenly overcome with emotion. You looked so precious in his arms and he felt the strong need to squeeze you thigher to him.

He pulled you subconciously a bit closer and pressed his lips to yours again. It was sweet and slow but jack put a little bit more force into it after a moment. Wanting to be as close to you as possible.

When you both pulled away to breath you had the chance to respond. "I love you too." You breathed out.

He didn't miss a beat to kiss you again. You were partly laying on top of him now and he held you by the waist. The other hand on your cheek.

As his kisses got more passionate you felt something against your leg. You didn't know much about those matters but you knew the basics. And you knew what that meant.

It was poking into your thigh slightly as your leg lay between his. You tried not to let it bother you but you couldn't help but worry.

"We can't be too loud. The hospital will hear." He heaved breaths but there was a smirk on his face.

Contrary to you as your expression fell completely. You froze up and almost unnoticably moved a bit away from him. When he tried to pull you down for a kiss again but you were unresponding he realised something was wrong.

A frown appeared on his face. "Love? W-what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

He turned your face to him so he could inspect you and look for any sign what could be wrong. A confused but concerned look on his face.

You didn't know how to respond but you moved your leg away from his. "Jack I..."

His attention was brought down to your leg and his frown eased in realisation. He looked up to your eyes again.

"Oh does that make you uncomfortable...? I didn't think about how it could bother you." He supressed the urge to pull you closer again and gave you a bit space on your side of the bed. He pulled himself up against the headboard to have a good look at you.

"Because the women you had before me were there for that?" You said softly. A smile twitched at the corner of your mouth through the serious facade.

He grinned and lowered his head in shame. "Yeah I guess." Usually he didn't feel any regret whatsoever for his sexual life but to tell you this, while you were sitting next to him so innocently, filled him with shame. As if he betrayed you by doing this even thought he didn't even know you back then. "Does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked again hesitantely.

"Yeah. I mean- your body doesn't bother me but you said you...uh" you tried to explain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. We don't have to right now. That's fine." He said calmly.

You sighed. "Jack I- I need to tell you something." There was a small pause. "I don't want to have...intercourse with you."

He blinked. "Oh that's alright love. We can take it easy. I can show you slowly. Or wait til marriage if that's what you wish. I do not intend to pressure you in any way."

You shook your head and let it fall back against the wall in frustration. "No that's not what I meant. I don't want it ever. At all." You pressed the words out painfully.

Jack blinked and swallowed nervously. You could see that it hurt him. It stung him in the heart.

"But- is it because I cannot give you the life you deserve? Don't you love me in that way?" He asked almost defensively.

You couldn't watch this. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it lightly. "No. No. Jack this has nothing to do with you. I don't want it with anyone."

"Then why? I don't understand. Is this something medical? Shall I take a look?" His doctor mode turned on as he was now concerned for your health.

"This is not medical jack. I don't feel the same way you do. I don't have the urge to want it. I think it would feel horrible."

He came closer again. Holding your cheek in his palm. "Horrible? It's not horrible. You have a completely false picture of it. I'll show you. Just trust me. I don't know what you've been throught to think that sex would be horrible but I'll prove you wrong."

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head slightly in the palm of his hand. "No jack. I don't want it ever. I really don't. You can't change that. I'm sorry."

Slowly he seemed to realise that you really meant what you were saying. "Okay. It's alright you have nothing to be sorry about. Just- why would it feel horrible to you?"

"A foreign...thing would be inside of my body. I'd want to push it out."

"But it's not foreign. It's just me." Jack tried to understand you. But it was hard. It felt like you had just rejected him. You would push him away. You wouldn't want him.

Your eyes moisted and as he noticed he was desperate to stop making you sad but he needed answers.

"It's alright darlin'. I'm just trying to understand." He caressed your cheek with his thumb. "So we'll never have sex?" He whispered eventually.

You nodded.

"Do you even like me then? Do you like to touch?" His eyes scanned your eyes. His face so close to yours.

"Of course I do. I love you. I love you so much I think I can't live without you anymore. Everytime I see you I think my heart might burst. I like touching you. I like to feel you near me. I feel so much for you. I can touch you in any way you'd want. We just don't feel the same way about it. I don't feel anything...sexual. I'm not even sure how that feels for you." You blinked as you tried to hold the tears in.

He smiled and nodded, a little bit relieved. Maybe you didn't feel the same thing, but it made you happy to touch each other regardless.

“That’s okay. I enjoy it a lot too… we can continue with that… and I won’t press the subject. I’ll respect your wishes and I won’t push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

You were so relieved by his response you immediately grapped his face and gave his cheek a kiss. "Thank you. I was so worried." A tear now escaped your eye.

He wiped the tear away with his thumb. A sad smile on his face. "Oh love I'm sorry. I should've reacted better. It's really difficult for me to understand but that's alright."

"Won't you miss out?"

“How can I miss out on somethin' that would hurt you? If it causes you pain, or any discomfort, then how could that be somethin' I enjoy? I would never be able to enjoy anythin' sexual if I knew it was causing you pain or sadness. And that is somethin' that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for. I would always know that you’re in pain… that you’re doing something to make me happy… and that would make me sad. I will miss it… I won’t lie to you, and I won’t try to hide that. Yes, I will miss it because that’s what I am used to. But I want you above that. We’ll manage.”

"We'll manage" you sniffled and he pulled you into his chest. "Promise you'll talk to me if it bothers you. That you can't have it?"

"I will." He whispered. There was a calming moment of silence. Only small sniffles were heard. "Does it bother you when my body reacts to you?" Jack asked quietly.

You hesitated. "Does it mean you want to have intercourse...?"

"Did you think that all this time?" Jack asked incredilous.

"Yes? Don't you get, you know, ready for it when you do that..."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle. "I uh- well yes. But it doesn't always mean that I want to have sex with you. It can. But it happens a lot too without me wanting to. Sometimes it just shows how much you mean to me that my body is reacting that way."

You smiled into his chest. "Oh...okay I didn't realise that."

"So it doesn't bother you?" He grinned.

"No. Then I suppose it is rather nice to know you appriciate me."

"That I do. Very much. This won't change anything between us. You don't need to worry. I can't believe you had to hide this the whole time." He pushed his messy hair back.

"Thank you."

#jack dawkins x reader #Asexual!reader #asexual #Asexual fanfiction #The artful doger #jack dawkins #tbs imagine #acespec #asexual reader #asexual representation #dr jack dawkins

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redheadspark · 8 months

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Found Again

Summary - You tell Feyre about your love for Azriel

Warnings - A hint of angst and mostly fluff

A/N - This one-shot talks about Asexuality. Please let me know if this offends anyone or is stepping over the line!

“How did you and Azriel meet?”

“Through Rhysand, of all people,”

“Really?”

“I know. As shocking as that is, Rhysand and I go way back as childhood friends,”

Feyre giggled as you two were sitting side by side outside in the garden of the townhouse, getting some needed sunshine in before an upcoming rainstorm would come through Velaris starting tonight and all day tomorrow. The chilling wind was evident already, most of the Velaris already seeking shelter and closing down its shops and businesses in time before the massive rain will come. Thankfully, you had nowhere else to be for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow since your work was mostly at your home in the Townhouse. You were Rhysand’s personal accountant and head of treasury, great with numbers and finances and he would never dare to try and juggle that himself. Since you two were childhood friends, he made sure you were all taken care of after your parents were both killed by Amarantha, mourning their deaths as fiercely since he thought of them as his own family.

But now, months later and a recent victory over King Hybren and his near fatal attack on all of Pythian, you could have some peace again in your lives as Velaris was once again safe and calm.

“He introduced us as children, taking him in when he needed protection from his own family,” You explained, leaning back a bit in your chair as Feyre was listening on, “We were simply friends then, I never saw anything past that with him. Even when we got older and went our own separate ways, we were simply friends.”

Feyre smiled, thinking about the Shadowsinger himself having a child friend. She took a sip from her wine as she spoke, “But you and Rhsyand were close?”

“For some time, yes. After I went off on my own for a bit, Rhysand convinced me to work for him and be part of his Inner Circle. At that point, Azriel and I never crossed paths for decades. So when I saw him again, now as a full grown Illyrian and Spymaster….it felt like a dream,” You explained, pausing for a moment when you remembered seeing him all over again at the House of Wind. It was a stormy night at Velaris, you barely moved into your small apartment when Rhysand got in contact with you to have you meet with his Inner Circle.

“Rhys…I don’t belong here, you know—“

“You absolutely do belong in the Inner Circle since you’re one of the very few fae I trust with my life. Plus, I want you to see an old face. Remember Azriel?”

“….Azriel?”

“Were you in love with him then?” Feyre asked you in a breath, clearly invested in the story you were telling. You had to slightly blush as you shook your head, hearing Feyre giggle.

“Not then, but he was always on my mind for the longest time.,” You explained, “After Rhysand made me part of the Inner Circle, Azriel and I reconnected and became friends again. I think we were both trying to make up for lost time, me going away to travel and Azriel becoming Rhysand’s Spymaster, and I was imply glad to have my friend back in my life again.”

All of the chats that you and Azriel had together after you reconnected together, you were beyond thankful that he was alive and doing great. Yet you were shocked to hear him being a Spymaster of Rhysand and for Night Court, such a responsibility and errand would seem maddening. Azriel seemed calmed about it after he saw the shock on your face, almost amused himself as he grinned.

“Never thought of me as a Spymaster before?”

“No, but you have always surprised me,”

“I told him all about my life since we separated all those years ago, the good and the bad. But even after telling him everything, I was still holding something back for him. Something I never told anyone else,” You paused, looking down at your lap and seeing how your fingers were slightly clutching each other. Of course, you have grown since then and you have felt enough confidence in yourself to know your inner desires and needs. But back then, having your childhood friend right in front of you that you knew so well and admired, you were petrified.

“Rhsyand has been the only person to know,” You explained some more, seeing that you had Feyre’s undivided attention, you pressing your palms together, “Not even my own parents knew before they died. And I wish I told them, and I regret it to this day that I was never brace enough to say, but I had to tell Azriel,”

Telling Azriel about your sexuality was one of the hardest things you ever had to do, not to mention one of the scariest. You had to remind yourself that this was the same Azriel that you grew up with, that knew your favorite foods and snacks, that knew that you loved going on hikes and adventures to clear your mind, how could he see you in any other way? How could he have a new view of you because of something that was so natural to you?

But you have felt the twinge of rejection before from others, mostly from potential suitors and male fae who were into you. Most of them simply decline their advances, moving on from you and not seeing a future. Others were a bit more cruel, their remarks and also their actions cut you deep as they walked away and never turned back. But with each one of those moments, you were finding yourself a bit stronger.

However, though you had strength, you felt instantly weak when you told Azriel your sexuality.

“Did you think he would see you in a different way?” Feyre asked you cautiously, seeing that you were a bit lost in your thought.

“I can’t give you what you want, Azriel!”

“And what makes you think I would want sex from you in this relationship? I feel mildly offended that you would think that,” He replied with a small hint of sarcasm.

“Don’t make this funny, Az,” you grumbled, glaring at him as the winter storm was roaring on. Of course you decided to have this talk with him right after Winter Solstice, thinking it would be the right time since you both recently decided to get together as a couple. It was still fresh for you two, deciding to be together after holding off your feelings for quite some time. But you also know that you had to talk to him about how you felt like intimacy. It would be the first real step in your relationship together:

Telling Azriel about your Asexuality.

“I’m not. I’m being truthful when I tell you I know what I want, and what I want is you. Anything you’re willing to give me, I’ll take it. Anything you wish to hold back from, I’ll accept. “ he explained wholeheartedly, having you look at him with shock and disbelief.

“But…why?” You asked, his voice seeming low and almost unconvincing. His face fell, seeing how this was affecting you and how you were having such an internal battle with his conversation. It was written all over your face and in your stance, at any moment you would crumple to the ground or float away with the wind.

He walked over to stand in front of you, taking both of your hands in his own and searching your eyes with the same kind of love he would always have for you. You were still filled with questions and concerns, knowing that you were never going to budge when it came to how you felt and how you were willing to love. The infamous fear that you would once again be rejected, that Azriel would walk away from you and not even give you a second glance, it was festering in your mind and only getting bigger by the minute.

“I want you, just you and nothing more than that. I’ve never felt this kind of love I have for you with anyone else, no matter who it was,” Azriel explained calmly and with reassurance as you squeezed his hands in your own, “Those whispers about me and my…escapades…they mean nothing to me. You mean more to me,”

“Those whispers makes me feel as though I can’t….that I won’t be able to…” You huffed, closing your eyes and feeling another wave of defeat.

“Those whispers mean nothing to me, and they never will. You are not obligated to do anything that you don’t wish to do,” Azriel vowed to you, pressing his head against yours as you still kept your eyes closed, “I did not fall in love with you because I wanted to be in bed with you,”

You grimaced and was about to pull away from him, flushed in your cheeks and your skin already tingling in uneasiness. Yet Azriel wrapped and arm around you to keep you close to him, his other hand reached up to caress your cheek. His touch was beyond gentle and soothing, having you open your eyes as if you were a flower being coaxed to open your petals. There he was, staring at you with love and concern in his hazel orbs and along his lips and cheeks that you leaned against his hand absentmindedly.

“I fell in love with you because of how much you love me, all of me,” he explained, rubbing your back with his hand that was sprawled along your lower back, “All of my demons I still have and will always have, all of the pain that I went through, you never strayed from it or ran the other way. You see me as…..me. No one else has done that for me, and I don’t wish to find that with anyone else for as long as I live,”

“Oh Azriel,” Feyre said in a heart warming sigh as you grinned and nodded your own head, feeling a tear or two come through as you wiped them away in a hurry. Reliving that small spat was never easy, but you never wanted to deny it either. You and Azriel have grown since then, fights coming and going but never staying or growing into something serious. He was willing to put in the work when it came to keeping your love for one another flourishing, as were you.

“I know, I’m lucky to have him,” You hummed in agreement as Feyre smiled.

“You’ve been together ever since?” She questioned you, to which you were about to answer when the door behind you opened. Both of you looked to the source, seeing the very topic of conversation come out to the garden, sporting his leathers and his heavy boots. The smile on his face, his Truth Teller strapped to his side, and his shadows licking along his back and near his tucked in wings.

“Cassian told me you two snuck away to talk in here,” Azriel said in a grin as he walked over to stand behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders, squeezing the shoulders gently while Feyre gave him a sweet smile, “What were we talking about?”

“Nothing of major importance,” You replied, though Feyre shook her head.

“It was the upmost importance! I asked about how you two met and fell in love,” She explained, you bushing madly as Azriel chuckled behind you from his spot.

“Ah, I’m sure she gave every detail,” Azriel joked lovingly, you felt him squeeze your shoulders a pinch tighter as he spoke again, “Actually, your mate is looking for you. Apparently he is in need of your assistance,”

Feyre huffed and rolled her eyes, getting up from her chair and smirking, “I can’t leave that brute for more than 10 seconds! Where is he?”

“In his old study,” Azriel replied, both you and Feyre giggling as she finally made her way out of the garden, gliding with ease at the door close right behind her. You leaned back a bit in your chair, Azriel’s fingers moved some of your hair from your shoulders to squeeze your shoulders once more.

“Should I be worried on what you two were talking about?” He asked, you sighing and tapping his hand.

“Never,” You replied, Azriel walked over to stand in front of you and then kneel to be at your eye level. He was wearing his leathers, plenty of history with some wear and tear and a little bit of residue from past battles and wars. Yet it suited him with his dark ink hair and bright hazel eyes.

“Our 50th anniversary is coming up,” He reminded you as he took your hands in his own, playing with your fingers as you smiled at him, “I was thinking that we should go away for a week or two,”

“We can do that?” You asked him as his smile grew, “What about Rhysand and the Inner Circle?”

“I already talked to him about us going away for a week or two,” He reassured you as you sat up a bit in your chair, “I have some connections in Summer Court with Lord Tarquin, he’s willing to let us stay in his guest home along the cliffs of the sea. I know you like Summer Court, and it sound perfect for us,”

After 50 years of marriage, you and Azriel still loved each other as if it was your first year together as husband and wife. Your own union was not massive or a big celebration, Azriel only wanted the Inner Circle present and a Priestess marrying the two of your together. Even with no mating bond, you two considered each other mates. With the normalcy of a couple being intimate, you and Azriel made your own rules on intimacy and loving on one another.

Azriel never pushed your boundaries or made you feel less because of your lack of sexual attraction, to which you were grateful for him still loving you in others ways. Holding your hand when you two were side by side, his chivalrous nature in holding open the doors for you and having a chair ready for you to sit on, even preparing your favorites foods and drinks on those stressful days

Even the kisses he would give you were filled with love and gentleness. For someone who was viscous in nature and knew how to inflict torture, he was the opposite with you. The softness of his kisses along your lips, the soothing sensation of his hands along your skin, it was all so carefully thought out and not left to chance. That was Azriel: he knew just how to act and how to kiss you to make your heart sing and not feel intimidated.

All of those insecurities of not being intimate with Azriel melted away from the moment he told you he loved you, all of you, and you held onto that love all this time.

“I would love that, Az,” You stated, seeing him lean up to give you a singular kiss on the lips. Humming, you framed his face and kissed him back just as sweetly. Azriel redefined the definition of love for you, showing you in his actions and gesture that there was more to love than just sex and sexual attraction. You found attraction in his kindness, his bravery, his chivalry, and in his friendship with you. For so long you thought you would never have something like this with another person because of your lack of sexual attraction, the world mostly revolved around it and made you feel left behind.

But you were found again, all thanks to Azriel.

"I love you," You murmured against his lips as he grinned and pecked your lips a few more times, keeping you close in his arms.

"I love you all the more," He replied, and deep down, you knew he did.

The End.

Tagged - @valeridarkness

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #azriel x oc #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #fanfiction #writing #asexual #asexual characters #asexual fanfiction

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markcampbells · 17 days

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In honor of International Asexuality Day today (April 6th), I wanted to put together a masterpost of all the fanfics I've written so far featuring my asexual headcanons! Hi, I'm Trai, a thirtysomething panromantic ace creator who writes for Star Trek AOS, Final Fantasy VII, and Trigun.

Star Trek AOS

I only have one official ace fic in this fandom so far, as I started writing my fics for it before I had figured out my place on the ace spectrum and utilizing it in my writing, but it will definitely play a part in future fics for my 'verse.

your hands can heal, your hands can bruise - The foundational fic for the 'verse, a developing friendship, emotional hurt/comfort fic following Jim and Bones getting to know each other (and Bones coming to accept his romantic feelings for Jim) in the academy era. Featuring pansexual Jim and biromantic demisexual Bones.

(at least out loud) i won't say i'm in love - An angsty feelings realization fic of sorts where Bones tries to cope with the inconvenient truth of physical attraction to Jim in addition to his romantic feelings.

Final Fantasy VII

a bit less broken - A Cloud & Tifa friendship fic where Tifa comforts and guides Cloud through his realization he's somewhere on the ace spectrum. This was my first official ace fic and is still very special to me!

so hold on stronger to me - A queer platonic, ace Cloud & trans Barret fic written for Romancing Barret Week, where Barret gives Cloud advice about how to fix his relationship with Tifa post-Advent Children. In the future I will be writing further fics following on from this one featuring established Cloud/Tifa and Barret as their queer platonic partner, as they raise Marlene and Denzel in Edge and have a quiet life together. 💜

and we are just breakable girls and boys - While not a super overt presence in this fic, it was written from the standpoint of established Cloud/Tifa with Cloud's asexuality being a known factor between them and something Tifa is completely okay with. Post-Advent Children, Cloud and Tifa have a heated discussion that forces Cloud to confront his anxieties about losing Tifa.

Trigun

you recognize love after the fact - A Trigun Maximum-compliant fic set during Volume 11, featuring emotional hurt/comfort between queer platonic Vash and Meryl (both of them ace!).

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) - Non-sexual intimacy hurt/comfort between Vash and Wolfwood, as Vash suffers through an attack of phantom limb pain and Wolfwood offers to help him out. Written from the perspective of ace for ace Vashwood.

cooking is love made visible - A pre-canon, developing friendship Meryl & Milly fic, centered on the idea of food as a love language. Featuring asexual Meryl and Milly beginning to realize she might be an ace lesbian. This fic is going to become a multichapter in the near future!

i used to live alone before i knew you - A getting together fic featuring T4T and ace for ace Vashwood, centered on the idea of casual nudity. Wolfwood chooses to air dry after a shower; Vash has an existential crisis in asexual.

I hope everyone enjoys these fics if they give them a read! Comments and kudos are always welcome, and I have plenty more ace fics lined up for the future. 💜

#asexual fanfiction #mckirk #cloti #clarret #vashwood #vashmeryl #merylmilly #leonard mccoy #cloud strife #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #my writing #my fanfiction #the asexual tag

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eshtaresht · 3 months

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sharing a couple of my ace vash fics for Day 7 of ace trigun week!!

Molten Outlaw (T, 4.8k)

my contribution to polygun week as well: local polycule gets a chance to relax and finds a way to melt their localized disaster

Heavy Weight (T, 7.3k, 2/2 chapters)

funnily enough, my first ever fic. queerplatonic vashwood cuddle time: Vash is aroace in this one!

I hope to post another thing for the event next week, be it a little late :]

#I have another fic with ace vash but it's a multichap and I haven't gone to the part when It's mentioned yet #tbh ace4ace vashwood is something that can be so personal......#trigun fic #asexual fanfiction #ace trigun week #trigun fanfiction #ace vash the stampede

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fanby-fckry · 7 months

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Being grey-ace is so strange sometimes, because I just don’t know where the limits of my own sexuality are.

Like, ok, my levels of attraction are pretty wonky. I’m not always sexually attracted to my 2 partners, sometimes I’m randomly attracted to strangers, and I have a lot of trouble trying to sort out aesthetic vs sexual vs romantic attraction. I’ve kind of just accepted that that’s how I am; my attraction is fluid and unpredictable, so I stopped trying to categorize it and just go with the flow.

Then there’s my relationship with actually having sex or engaging with sexual content. I have some quirks I knew about, some come up and I’m like “oh, that makes sense,” but sometimes they just kinda hit me in the face.

Which brings us to right now. I’m trying to do Kinktober, right? And Kinktober, by nature, contains a lot of sex scenes. Which, should be fine for me, right? I write smut all the time. I read smut all the time.

So I start writing a prompt. I write the tension, the dialogue, the emotion, the sensations, kissing, biting, touching, taking clothes off, and then… I just stop. Every. Single. Time. Every single time I’m supposed to start the actual sex scene, my mind goes blank.

And then I realized. None of my smut is explicitly sexual. It’s basically just Alastor and his sadomasochism/blood kink. Which, kinda mirrors my own experiences, in that sex is either secondary to kink or not involved at all.

I’ve only written two sex scenes: one that wasn’t explicit, and one that wasn’t smut.

The non-explicit sex scene focused more on sensations and a light Dom/sub element. The non-smut sex scene was a plot device, intended to be interrupted.

That is to say, I don’t think I’ve ever written an explicit sex scene with the intention of it being like, sexy? And now is kind of a shitty time to learn that I might not be able to. :/

#fanfic struggles #asexual fanfiction #grey asexual #grey ace #asexual struggles #fanby’s ramblings #not osha compliant

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deramin2 · 9 months

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Something Is Fundamentally Wrong With Me

Summary:

When Essek and Caleb have an accidental encounter with strange mushrooms in Aeor, they find themselves both transformed and hallucinating, and it becomes unclear what is and isn't real. As they get through it together, they become introspective and reflect on their relationship and trade poetry. A Long Essek fic. I wanted to write a Shadowgast fic that was very intellectually and emotionally intimate, but non-sexual. If you love queer poetry and song snippets, this fic is full of them, and there are references at the end of each chapter with links to the works where available. The last chapter is a playlist I made for the story.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)

Relationship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Characters: Essek Thelyss, Caleb Widogast

Additional Tags: Asexual, No Sex, Poetry, Song Lyrics, Love Confessions, Hallucinations, Hallucinogens, Drugs, Mushrooms, Cuddling & Snuggling, Reading Aloud, Polymorph Spell (Dungeons & Dragons), Transformation, Long Essek, Monsterous transformation, Magical Accidents, Spell Creation

Language: English

Words: 3,664

Chapters: 8/8

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #critical role campaign 2 #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #drugs #poetry #asexual #asexual fanfiction

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luminalunii97 · 2 years

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Kurtbastian Fic Rec

Since Covid took over our lives a couple of years ago, I refuged to the fanfiction world to escape my non-existent life and I surprised myself by finding shelter in a ship that used to be just a fun idea to me. the more I read about this non-canon couple, the more I fell in love with them. so here's my KurtandSebastian fic list. make sure to check the trigger warnings supplied by the author for each fic before you read it because some of these could be triggering.

1.Glitter and Grease by scifigeek14

by far, this is my favorite dynamic between Kurt and Seb. I love it when Kurt stands up for himself. and I love it when Sebastian is not a knight in shining armor saving the damsel in distress but just simply a companion. someone who loves and is there for you. bonus point: Kurt strip dancing in black leather and lace. the visual it brings me is so aesthetically satisfying.

2. It's Hard To Be The One Who Stays + The Presence of Absence by romantic_drift (part 1 & 2 of Defying Gravity verse)

One of the greatest takes on the soulmate concept. from the moment you meet them to where it takes you. this is the story that made me want to fall in love.

3. Matchstick Dreams by egoistoh

Rom-com but the writer is a genius. never read a better description of these characters before. the characterization is just on spot. it's a fun and heartwarming story too.

4. Breathe Me (3 parts) by cacophonylights

Hot. that's the main quality. Hot as Hell. angsty and sexy.

5. Shape My Edges and Broker My Assent by lilinas

Let's just say it's not the fic category I normally read. but this story is just...Magic. the angst, the hurt, the message, the storytelling, everything about this fic is perfect. I cried a lot reading it and couldn't finish it in a go because it's a traumatic story but the sadness was addictive so I couldn't not finish it as fast as I could. it will live rent-free in my mind for a long time for sure. it's not for everyone though. Mind the TWs.

6. everything this author writes: Lady Divine (DivineLady91)

honestly, I'm not joking. no matter what fandom or which ship, this woman never disappoints. I've read a good amount of her fanfics and Loved them all. to mention some of my KB favorites: Deliver Me 'verse, A Memorable Easter Eve for Kurt Hummel, A Thousand Ways to Fall, Private Dancer, Kurt's Bucket List, When You Come Around, and Twenty Minute Love Affair.

7. Handle Me by flipmeforward

very kinky but actually very cute. Explicit but so romantic. The general sense of acceptance and body respect.

8. Kurt Hummel Has Mail by erisgregory

A cute rom-com, where dumbasses make mistakes but they'll get their happy-ending eventually.

9. This Will Be Our Year by iaminarage

A sports AU, Ice skating to make it better, banter happens, love happens, and you'll have so much fun reading it.

10. A New Way to Fall Apart by thelegendofjenna

This is one of those fics that take place in the summer and proceed to make you feel it's actually summer. There's also this fantastic OC that makes you fall in love with the story ten times more. so much drama, so much friendship, basically teenagers being teenagers.

11. Going Through the Motions by JWMelmoth

This one holds a special place in my heart because: ✨Asexual Character!✨

12. A Little Late by cacophonylights

I'm a sucker for misunderstanding tropes, so...! apart from that this is actually quite lovely. valentine AU.

I didn't think putting A Change in the Weather and A Drop in the Ocean on the list would be necessary. that AU is fandom culture. another famous awesome fic is Barista Confessions that I love a lot.

I can't think of anything else for now. I hope these recommendations help someone. have fun.

#glee #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #kurtbastian #kurtbastian fanfiction #glee fanfiction #dalton academy #warblers #new directions #kurtbastian fanfic #mlm #asexual fanfiction #kurtbastian fic rec #fic rec

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