#ash hardell

[endless-nightshift]

Return to your roots,

Put on your comfort YouTuber from when you were 14 to help you fall asleep to escape the all consuming silence of the night as you did back then.

Horrors you are hiding from might have changed since then but the wards of the past can still protect you now as they did they, so long as you let them.

#my is #Ash Hardell #i have a an entire playlist of theyr videos for this very purpose :) #:) #youtube #nostalgic #nostaliga #personal nonsense #my nonsense #sorry to girlies with problematic comfort YouTubers :< #my sympathies to you and your childhood

[starful-emporium]

parasocial relationships as a trans person are so weird. like yeah several of the reasons i made the most impactful, life-changing, life-saving, decisions i've ever made are real living people. and they have no idea i exist.

cory mccarthy made me realize that "trans" does apply to me, actually (via their book man o' war, go read it)

ally beardsley is the reason i stopped seeing transition as exclusive to binary folk

daniel lavery articulated being trans and raised christian better than I ever could (something that may shock and discredit you, awesome book)

ash hardell introduced me to genderqueerness years before i saw it in myself

anna-marie mclemore taught me about queer joy and made transness feel possible

#trans #transition #cory mccarthy #ally beardsley #daniel lavery #ash hardell #anna marie mclemore #parasocial relationships

[archivodemargenes]

g-gestación

gente que comparte sus gestacioness

#gestaciones #minuscula #archivo de margenes #julien lorentzen #ash hardell #danny wakefield

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Ash Hardell released Part 2 of their return video!

Part 1:

Part 2:

I recommend checking those out! Part 1 really spoke to my online experience around the same time Ash rose in popularity, as a cis queer woman and wannabe ally to trans people. They have such a good understanding of everything that happened and everything that was bad.

It's jarring to think about what they went through - especially with Part 2, which was a bit much to take in at some points. The scariest parts were the despairingly recent clips of Christian media they included. The Christians creating their own Hell, using an image of Satan as someone who creates sin rather than someone who punishes it to lure you into believing when they pick a scapegoat.

#lgbtq #ash hardell

[eyesopentv]

i wanted to start a youtube channel a few years ago for Trans Reasons and i just started thinking about it again bc i realized i don’t really see many non-white trans guys that are popular and i want other trans kids of color to see what their transition could look like too

#miles thots #like the most popular are miles mckenna- noahfinnce- jamie dodger- and ofc k*lvin g*rra #oh and sam collins and i used to watch ash hardell #and all of them are white

[x-ladydisdain-x]

what is YouTube doing putting these ancient videos on my recommended. this is the stuff I was watching like 3 years ago as a closeted baby gay, I’m having flashbacks

#the Dan and Phil stuff…. #sometimes opal says stuff #funny I was Just thinking about ash hardell #I questioned my gender for the first time when I discovered their videos #years later I still have nothing figured out

[rata-novus]

it’s always risky looking into a content creator you really enjoyed (who was formative to you discovering your gender identity years ago), who’s been MIA for a few years bc you never know what happened. but!!! sometimes!!! you find out they had twins!!!! my heart is so full <3

#the h files #this is about ash hardell #i follow them on twitter but somehow missed new news lmao

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey Steph, um, you're the first person I'm admitting this to. but...I think I'm on the ace-spec. And sometimes i have these really bad doubts as to if i actually am or just don't want to have sex and have convinced myself just - *hug?*

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

First off: You're not alone, and this experience is not only relatable to me, but I have gotten a lot of DMs and asks about other aces trying to figure themselves out in a similar fashion. I've written numerous posts about it, and STILL have to answer an ask from years ago that asks me specifically about my "version" of sexuality and the story of how I figured myself out. But the short version (EDIT: It’s not short, lol) of it is this:

It's okay if you don't know right away what you are, and the process may take you days, months or YEARS. You are literally me back when I was in my early 30′s and suddenly realized I wasn't fitting into the heteronormative mould that people expected me to be in. And it's a TERRIFYING experience to have a sudden crisis in your 30's. Because we aces are SO used to the bigoted rhetoric of us being broken, or us not finding the right person, or we just need a good fucking, or medication will fix us. It's gross, and so SO wrong. And it’s VALID to be questioning before settling. My journey took me FOUR YEARS of trying on different flavours of asexuality before I settled on labels that fit me currently. It was a lot of soul searching and self-discovery, and I don’t regret it.

Asexuality is actually one of the broadest sexualities out there, with a HUGE spectrum and with SO many nuances and intricacies that the only way we CAN figure ourselves out is to, unfortunately, do our own research. It sucks, but I don't regret doing it for myself since I am now at peace with that part of my life at least. There's not many "public" support groups for aces, so we do have to go online and find the documents. 

So, this is my advice to you, Nonny: Now that you are ready to start your journey, and you're in the headspace to do so, I do implore you to START your journey at AVEN. It's where I started, and I read EVERYTHING on the site, and jotted down terms and info for me to research. One of the biggest things that helped me understand myself was learning about the split attraction model, and realizing that ace people experience relationships VERY differently than allosexual people. Keep that term under your hat for the future, but in your case, I think you should read up on "Asexuals and Attitudes Toward Sex", and then as an aside (since I DON'T know if your lack of attraction to sex is trauma-related), read this short post from a Nonny who ID'd as ace because of trauma (cw below link: light allusions to SA in ask). AND check out some Ace YouTube Channels... they’re small but SUPER interesting! My faves are Ace Dad Advice, Slice of Ace and Lynn Saga as the active ones I’m subscribed to. Ash Hardell has a great 3-part video series on “Everything Ace and Aro” and I REALLY like the Anthony Padilla “Spent a Day With Asexuals” video. 

I think these are all good places for you to start.

Here are some additional posts to carry you on your journey:

RESOURCES

Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)

The Trevor Project – Understanding Asexuality

Healthline – What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?

LGBTQ Centre UNC-Chapel Hill – Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation

QueerEvents.ca – Asexuality 101

LGBTQIA+ Wiki – The Asexual Spectrum

Wikipedia – Asexuality

BBC.com – Asexuality: The ascent of the ‘invisible’ sexual orientation

Mindbodygreen.com – 14 Signs and Considerations to Know if You’re Ace

TeenVogue – What Is Asexuality: Myths and Truths About Being Asexual

And for some giggles, check out the subreddit r/asexuality. Beware though, there is some allophobia and shaming of sexual aces on many posts. I usually only go here for the memes, or just watch a YouTube Redditor read all the best ones, like Jammidodger and One Topic at a Time because they’re SUPER wholesome and silly.

MY POSTS

“I’m ace but like physical affection”

Autochorisexuality / Aces Who Love Smut

“It’s hard to be ace in a hyper sexualized world”

Celibacy Does Not Equal Asexuality

Romantic Feelings vs. Platonic Affection

“I Think I Might Be Ace”

“Am I a ‘fake ace’? I feel like I’m betraying my sexuality“

“I’m ace but I have sexual fantasies. Am I still ace?”

“How Does One Find out they’re ace or Aro?”

“I’m not attracted to any one but my boyfriend, am I Demi?”

“Is it okay to still call myself ace if I am sex-repulsed because of trauma?”

“My cousin came out as Ace, family this it’s because she doesn’t want to marry” (discussion about asexuality vs celibacy)

OTHERS’ POSTS

The B(ace)ics of Asexuality 101

History of Asexuality

Let’s talk about asexuality!

You Might Be Asexual If

The Ace Experience

History of Asexuality (cis straight aces and queerness)

The Recent TERF and Ace Discourse on Social Media

Sex and Asexuality

Aphobic Rhetoric on Tumblr Queer Spaces

Asexual doesn’t mean non-sexual

Aspecs don’t need to have dated

Can I be asexual if…?

Asexuality and the LGBT Labels

You can be kinky and ace

The Card Suits

VIDEO: Split Attraction Model

And finally, because I feel like it's important for me to state this to you because you're alluding to feeling shame for I.D.ing as something you're not sure that you are: If THAT'S the label you choose right now for yourself, THAT IS WHO YOU ARE. Sexuality is fluid. I KNOW people who, after I told them I'm ace and they asked me questions about it, they always had a sex drive until recently and just... started thinking they might be ace now too. I know people who thought they were straight but really they're bi. And THAT'S OKAY.

And you know what? If you NEVER settle on a label, that’s okay too. Our labels just here to help us understand ourselves better, and if people have issues with that, then that’s their weird-assed problem to deal with. Nothing pisses off people more than trying to shame others for things and you not responding in a way they were hoping for, LOL. 

I hope these help you out Nonny, and FINALLY, I apologize for taking long to answer this I got lazy after my trip, LOL. Let us know how your journey goes! <3

Love ya!

#steph replies #chatting with nonnies #i am not a professional #my advice #sexuality #asexuality advice #my thoughts #resources #long post

[quoisitively-queer]

I hope you still check this! I just figured out what quiromantic is and oh my gosh is this how everyone feels when they figure this out? My friends are either straight, bi, pan gay or other more commonly heard of attractions. What if they think this can’t be real? I’ve debated my sexuality for a LONG time. And I don’t understand attraction very well. Is this what I am? Also are there any books with quiromantic characters?

Hello! Yes, it's just me currently as far as I'm aware but I'm still keeping an eye on the blog. Glad you found it! It's been about seven years since I first heard the word but it was definitely relieving to find.

The thing about sexuality and attraction is that labels aren't there to force you into a box and choose an experience for you; they're there to a) help you put the experiences and emotions you have into words, and/or b) help you find other people who share these experiences or emotions. So while it may not be as easily identifiable as the major LGBTQ attractions, if it helps you then that's what matters!

I don't know about other people, but finding out about quoiromanticism lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. You don't have to immediately know (or know at all) what's going on with attraction, you can just be. Because there are other people who experience the same thing!

As for the last question, I'm very glad you asked that because until now I'd just assumed there weren't, but there are! This is just from a five minute search of GoodReads, but apparently the main character of 'The Unstoppable Wasp' comics is quoiro (though confirmed by the author outside of the books since it got cancelled before it could be fully canonised) and one character in the book 'The Changing of Allison Dutch'. I haven't read either of them but it's definitely worth looking into further! Non-fiction, I will forever recommend Ash Hardell's ABCs of LGBT+, since it's the one I started out with and actually defines quoisexuality and quoiromanticism!

Hope at least some of this helped! Feel free to check back in if there's anything else!

#ask #anon #mod louise

[lotuscayrp]

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[bi-kisses]

I'm reminded of when Ash Hardell appeared on that Chase trans dudes channel and made a point of trying to convert him into being non binary since he felt a connection to lesbianism, y'know, since he used to consider himself a lesbian.

#kisstalks #enbies

[posi-pan]

wanted to let you know you spelled Ash Hardell's name as Mardell twice in your new Medium article

anonymous: also you spelled carrd as caard twice in your medium about ?

oof thank you. i had been spelling it as caard for a while before realizing it's carrd lmao i guess sometimes i still do it.

#asks #anonymous #for future reference pls feel free to let me know of typos or whatever #i do read things several times over like a few days or weeks and errors still make it by me lmao

[rockerfemme]

i can’t believe ash hardell has kids now. she looks and sounds like a 14 year old

#looking at her pregnancy pics hurt my brain so bad

[transenbyconfessions]

so for purposes of stupidity I downloaded online books on how trans folk are a cult and are forcing teenage kids (high focus on girls and their parts) to mutate themselves. Why? Because I feel like only trans binary people are truly trans, and I have for a long while. But then I downloaded more books, and went to Ash Hardel's channel... and its hard to describe but it really makes me feel free knowing that the binary is not real, I don't need to be a man to be trans, and that others are flourishing in their non-binary life.

#internalized transphobia #transphobia #enbyphobia #character development

[buckets-of-dirt]

💛 - Who or what made you realize you were queer?

Tbh it's been such a bumpy road that I'm not sure which one Actually Counts anymore, so feel free to take your pick. Some are cringier than others

Age 13: my best friend at the time came out as bi, prompting me to briefly realize I liked girls before repressing it

Age 15: that one Natalie Dormer gif wlw tumblr was obsessed with in 2014

Age 16: binging Ash Hardell videos made me question my gender for the first time, but in keeping with earlier patterns I ultimately put those feelings away for Later

Age 20: mid-way through attending a community theatre production of Into the Woods I realized I preferred to sing the boy parts in musicals, which eventually led to admitting to myself that I'm not cis

Age 22: the list of male characters I had gender envy for finally hit critical mass during an episode of Turn: Washington's Spies and I decided it was time to talk to a therapist

#Wally vs the 10 year identity crisis #Bailey if you're reading this yes it was the Into the Woods production you were in the pit band for #ask meme

[werewolftits]

btw untill like a week ago i thought ash from evil deads last name was hardell instead of williams. so i looked up who ash hardell was and apparently they're a non binary youtuber i dont even remember hearing about