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tiredgayloser · 1 year

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watching the 2nd season of The Test as an English person is perhaps one of the most emotionally agonising things I’ve put myself through

#the 21/22 ashes cause me so much agony #the test #the test s2 #cricket #test cricket #england cricket #australia cricket #the ashes #why do I do this to myself #i wonder #and then i remember that i am in fact a cricket badger

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babyegle · 1 year

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The amount of people who think Ash is a minor makes my brain hurt. -especially in the remake.

it's blatantly obvious she's not jreifjeri .....

#to those who don't know--#she's 20 -#I actually see her a bit older in the remake maybe 21-22?#it's probably used as an excuse not to ship her and Leon together -- I ASSUME.#because in the original -sure ...I could see how some might thing she's younger but she comes on to him in the end ...#remake ash??? just-- it blows my mind #she's a YOUNG WOMAN ...#think*^

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sadbeautifutragic · 2 years

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olivia is in another relationship with an older guy. what business does a 26 year old have with a 19 year old?

#but ash she's legally an adult! so? that doesn't change anything #it would be one thing if he was 21/22 but 26???

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planetary · 7 months

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25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

#roscoe read this out loud and it was funny. he said i should post it #unreality #chatter🦋#coma tw #coma #drug mention #family death

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back2bluesidex · 5 months

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J-Hope Fic Recommendations (18+)

If you are already following me for quite some time then you should know that I am a massive masochist and I like to torture myself by reading and writing angsty stories. So, most of the stories that I recommended are angsty as well (might as well have sad endings). So please carefully read the warnings before proceeding. Have a happy reading.

And please don't expect much from me. There are several other rec lists far better than mine. The only motive I had behind creating this list to promote some of the stories, which I think are very underrated. especially angsty ones. These stories are beautifully written so.. I just wanted to let the authors know how phenomenal of a job they have done (As a writer myself I know how much this actually means). Thanks to these amazing writers and I am grateful that they decided to share their work here with us.

[Minors please stay away from my blog!]

Key: F - Fluff, A- Angst, S- Smut, Y- Yandere, *- Personal Favorite

Oneshots

1. Ash from his fire by @filmcrystal - A, implied S, cheating au

It will break your heart so please proceed with caution.

2. Forbidden Fruit by @deepdarkdelights - A, Y

This one deals with several triggering topics. Hence, read the warnings carefully. But I can say that you will love this twisted mafia Hoseok way too much!

3. Shadows by @borathae - A, exes au

One of the most underrated stories I have ever read! Yeah, it is very angsty and Hoseok is so cruel but... we all are masochist here. lmao!

4. Heaven sent by @aquagustd - A, F, S, f2l au

Sexy soccer player Hoseok is just another name for perfection.

5. Bound by @explicit-tae - S, kinda f2l

Talk abut BDSM! GOOOD Sweet Lord!!!

6. Jigsaw by @sunshinejunghoseokie - A *

I remembered crying after reading this one. So damn underrated that it physically hurts me!!

7. Delta Disorder by @bangtanintotheroom Y, S, Supernatural au

I don't usually read supernatural stuff but this demon Hoseok is way too sexy to skip!

8. Systems of Touch by @yeoldontknow - S, F, tiny A, S2l au

Beautifully written! The author used 100% of their capabilities to write this one. Perfectly drawn Professor Hoseok with a very attractive character of reader. Certainly a treat to read.

9. 2:00 AM by @likeastarstar - A, fuckbuddy Hoseok

Part of a series but can be read as a standalone. and Hoseok is a dick in this.

10. Love Quarrels by @mirahuyooo - A, F, mafia au

A cold yet soft mafia husband Hoseok chases behind his angry wife... could there be anything better than that?

11. The Hook Up ft. JK by @minisugakoobies - S

A little bit of a triangle.. but not love? if that makes sense.

12. Entelechy by @drmflm - suggestive (I believe)

Can't call this one angst and neither is this about Hoseok (he is there, don't worry). This one is more about the reader and her growth and it's beautiful.

13. Orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere - S, Y *

This is very dark and quite triggering, so please don't read unless you can handle those stuff.

14. For the night by @aseaofyoongi - A, S

I cried. that's all.

15. We Shouldn't by @beahae - S **

Hands down to one of my most favourite Hoseok smuts ever!!! This one has a Jimin follow-up so make sure to read that too.

16. Real or not real by @nmjoo-n - A, S, F **

Again one of the most exquisite Hoseok fics I have ever read!

17. Checkmate by @sunshinejoon - A, S

This was supposed to have a sequel but it is perfect regardless.

18. Do I wanna know - @yoongiphoria - A, f2? ****

Now, MJ knows how much I love this one. I often read this story and I never ever get bored of it! I love this to the core and you should too!

19. Scrap - @silv3rswirls - A, Y, S

Dark and sexy. Read the warnings carefully please.

20. It's a Promise by @sahmfanficbts - S, A, Arranged marriage au

Just read it.

21. Three by @hamsterclaw - S

Again.. VERY UNDERRATED!

22. Wonderwall by @kiara-ish - A with an open ending

Might not be for the faint hearted.

23. Infatuated by @bangtanfancamp - F

If you like high school love au then this one is for you.

24. Constellations of You by @persphonesorchid - S, F, established relationship au

This is so domestic that my heart almost exploded while reading!!

25. Burning flames or paradise by @/yoongiphoria - A, tiny f ****

MJ does magic.... that's all I can say.

26. Alone again by @archivedkookie - A, F

I loooove these kinds of stories. Just the right amount of despair with the right amount of hope... beautiful.

27. Feeling Good by @bonvoyagenoona - A, S

Everything I write about this will fall short.. so I will just shut up and let you enjoy the goodness.

28. Distracted by @dilfhoseokie - S

Ahem..

29. Drink Champaign in my airplane by @/bangtanintotheroom - F, S, F2l

Perfectly embodies a rich hot CEO friend Hoseok... a fun read.

30. Keynote by @missgeniality - S **********

MY MOST FAVORITE HOSEOK ONESHOT TO EXIST IN THE PLANET. yeah.. (this has a follow-up but I like this one better)

Series

The thing is that I don't usually read series. I just don't have that patience. So this list is pretty small and forgive me for that.

1. Transference by @dark-muse-iris - A, S, F, S2l *********************

[Completed]

I wasn't the same after reading this. I can't talk about this trantric therapist Hoseok, 'cause I will never shut up if I start.

2. Kanalia by @xjoonchildx - A, S, f (?) *********************

[Ongoing]

Honestly, who isn't a sucker for Lord Jung? You must be sick if you are not. (On a side note.. Kanalia is keeping me alive from jumping off trains on tough days)

3. Guarded by @/xjoonchildx - A, S, F, S2l

[Completed]

Mafia Hoseok with dogtags. I think that's enough of an introduction.

If you want to read the Hoseok stories I write, you can checkout my Masterlist.

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chaos-company · 2 months

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Angstpril 2024

Hi everyone!

It’s that time of year again! We are excited to announce that we are hosting the event again this year!

All prompts, FAQs and rules can be found in the graphics and below the cut!

Prompts:

1. homesick

2. frozen

3. broken-hearted

4. longing

5. rise from the ashes

6. this isn’t going to work

7. bad dreams

8. lost battle

9. trust issues

10. phantom pain

11. no way out

12. a little too late

13. learning the truth

14. surrender

15. confrontation

16. cry for help

17. last chance

18. left behind

19. trembling

20. broken

21. faking a smile

22. drained

23. swept away

24. the ghost of you

25. cold shoulder

26. grief

27. panicked

28. never see you again

29. betrayal

30. the last time

Alt Prompts:

1. troubled mind

2. not strong enough

3. you were never mine

4. the night we met

5. mental scars

6. miscommunication

7. jealousy

8.rock and a hard place

9. emotionally distant

10. paranoid

Rules

All posted content must be your original content. The use of AI for creation of any kind is prohibited.

All tags must be utilized in order to be reblogged. NOTE: the mods are human beings, so not all works will automatically be reblogged, even if all tagging is correct.

Any art form is acceptable, including original writing, gif sets and fan art.

FAQs

“Do I have to create for all thirty days?”

- Not at all! Feel free to jump in whenever you’d like. This is a creation event, so create as much or as little as you want! However, if you want to be entered in the shout out post, you must participate in all 30 days.

“Can I post a creation after the day has already passed?”

- Yes! You’re welcome to post for a prompt day even after the date, just be sure to tag with which day and prompt you’ve created for! You will only be eligibile for the shoutout post if you complete all 30 days within the month of April.

“What if I don’t understand/like a prompt?”

- We have a list of 10 alt prompts for you to choose from if you don’t like the main 30. Feel free to use our alternate prompts for any day, and if there’s any confusion send us an ask!

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whispereons · 6 months

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Masterlist!

I'm Whispereons and I mainly write yandere Genshin Impact fics. The SAGAU is my long time obsession if it wasn't obvious.

For ease of convenience I will have this masterlist pinned with my works, taglist, and tags used on my blog.

Currently I don't have any rules to abide by. I enjoyed all the comments, reblogs, asks and submissions I received thus far!

Just a warning for anyone new, I advise you to make sure your blog has some form of personalization. Like a profile pic, a sentence saying hello in your bio or even just a single post saying you're human will do. It's to prevent you from getting the report and block combo when I do my spam/porn bot purges.

SAGAU works

Oracle!Reader - with my current editor @serpent-benediction (hopefully) fixing up the older chapters.

Followers Special: 1K

Inazuma:

City - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Sea - Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Liyue:

City - Part 9, Part 10, Wilderness - Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18 City V2 - Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24

(Don't judge my old works too harshly, I really was new at writing!)

Self-aware Genshin Impact Series (incomplete): Warmth, Screen, Team Player, Over This Shit

Oneshots - Another Drink, It's tough to be a God

Normal Yandere Genshin Impact:

Venti/Barbatoes x EOS!Reader: Planned, Protection or Possession?, Control

Tags to use to navigate my posts!

#whisp's amateur work - all of my writing

#sagau oracle au - everything related to my oracle!reader (was implemented late so the first tag is more reliable)

#a whispered response - me answering asks/submissions

#whisp's collection - my personal collection of my fav authors, artists, and anything else. My mindless reblogs aren't tagged with anything to avoid cluttering the tag system.

#peering into the whisp - if I get personal asks, this is the tag I would use

If you regularly sends asks with some way to identify you then I usually give you a tag too.

My taglist for my Oracle!Reader:

If you are in italics, that means I couldn't tag you! That could be due to you being shadow banned or having your settings set to hide you from being searched. I will keep this master list updated with each new user, I truly don't mind tagging you all. It's honestly a nice feeling.

@vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @liansh3ng, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @shellofthewell, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zenith, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername

@zhonglisfruityass, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling, @emilymikado, @pix-stuff, @esthelily, @luxie963, @emmbny, @starsofabundance, @kbar1013, @xxblackroses623xx, @chxrlxtteee, @aludicpoet, @yandematic, @atrcclovsxoxo, @0lshadyl0, @esthelily, @t-rex-red, @ck123, @steadybreadbluebird, @118gremlin, @stratonia, @time-shardz, @farelady-fate, @valeriele3, @francisnyx, @byakuren100, @waveto-earth, @flyingpansaurus, @silverstarred, @iamapotatoe, @ghosthii, @beloveddroplet, @uchihaeirin, @ibelieveinsleep, @idk098, @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback, @toramune, @haaaaaades, @horologiumwise, @melovaaaa, @alittletiredcry, @aphxdea, @atsukawolfcat, @desirabletravel, @pinkpainc, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @yuyuzi-ling, @hyperfixationwhore

@juuuuuj101010, @avalordream, @kurayamioterasu, @tottybear, @koiikuno, @lynx-of-skies, @quacking-simp, @synthe4u, @kascar-chronicle, @hug4helios, @hug4helios, @silverstarred, @koiikuno, @ithoughtthinks, @remiivx, @lemonade7255, @melpomenelurks, @average-yandere-enjoyer, @mnhao, @fuji-sen, @altumsomnum

#whisp's amateur work #a whispered response #sagau cult au #whisp's collection #peering into the whisp #official masterlist #For those wondering #The cat covering my blog is my dear Obsidian <3 #if he dies #I may actually drop Tumblr #but that's not going to happen as he's young and a housecat #he's living all 18 years estimated #and WOW I didn't expect to have so many liyue chapters #There's just so many people in Liyue that it makes it long #How do ya'll read my stuff??? lol

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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 5 months

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Steddie Upside-down AU Part 22

Part 1 Part 21

It’s either very late or very early. The early rays of dawn light are just barely shining through the windshield. It’s warm on Will’s face in a way he hasn’t been in a long time. That place had been cold. It had been dark. He had been alone.

And then there was Eddie and Steve. Their hands were warm on his shoulder, on his cheek. Their quiet voices are a balm to the bleakness blooming in his lungs. They’d saved him, time and again. And now Eddie’s catatonic in the seat beside him, and Steve is still there. In the dark. Alone.

Where WIll had left him.

Barbara’s looking out the window on his other side, leaning as far away from him as possible, like she can feel the darkness that he can still feel clinging to him from that place. In the front seat, Jonathan’s gripping the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. Nancy’s vibrating in the passenger seat, twitching like she’s bursting for a fight.

Will doesn’t know why any of these people are here, or where they’re going. He doesn’t know much of anything anymore.

The unasked question is answered when Jonathan pulls into the driveway. He’s home.

The house is in shambles when he walks in. Christmas lights hang, unlit from the ceiling like they’d been strung up in a hurry. The dining room table is overturned, chairs upside down, boxes scattered to and fro. Will doesn’t know what happened here, and that unknowing makes the pit finally sink into his stomach. He’s been gone. He doesn’t know how long, but it’s written into the disarray of their home. He’s been gone.

“Mom?” Jonathan calls.

Will stands on the threshold, something tightening in his throat. For a second, he swears there’s ash raining down. Blinks and it’s gone.

“Mom?” Jonathan calls again, louder.

Barbara and Nancy follow him in. Eddie stands by his side, slinging his arm around his shoulders, warm like forgiveness. “Come on, baby Byers.” Talking sounds like it hurts him. Will lets himself be led.

Jonathan comes back from his walkthrough of the house. “She’s not here,” he says. Will nods, leans further into Eddie’s side. There’s a funny look on Jonathan’s face that he’s never seen before. It congeals in his throat until he’s hiccuping on it. “Oh, hey, she’s just been spending a lot of time with the Chief. Trying to get you back.”

She’d sounded so desperate on the phone, and when the lights started flickering. He’d heard his Mom and Lonnie talking once, back when things weren’t good between them, but a little better. Lonnie had said, “no one should have to bury their own kid,” and his Mom had sucked in a breath like even the thought was enough to leave her breathless.

There’d been a story in the newspaper that day about a kid two towns over drowning in the river. His Mom’s hug was extra hard that day.

He wants her arms now. She’ll know how to bring Eddie back from the brink, and get Steve out of that place where everything is wrong. She can do anything.

“How long has it been?” He doesn’t realize he’s the one who asked until Eddie squeezes his shoulders.

Jonathan takes a step back, like Will’s question hit him like a slap. Nancy takes a step forward, opens her mouth, and answers. “Five days.”

It seems like too long and not long enough. He feels tainted, permanently changed from being out of school for a week.

“So, four days for me and Steve?” Eddie asks.

“When did you two get there?” Nancy asks.

Did anyone even know they were missing? Did anyone look for them like they had for Will?

“At that party,” Eddie says. “When you and Steve had your little, uh, lovers quarrel.” The last part comes out biting and bitter, like Eddie’s a dog being fed rancid meat, but he’s too hungry not to eat.

“Oh,” Nancy says, looking down at her white tennis shoes. Everyone in this house looks like a real person – real and clean and alive. Will’s not sure what crawled out of the hole in that place in his place, but he’s not sure it’s alive.

His insides are gnawing at him, writhing like they’re alive.

“What now?” Barbara asks.

“Now, we feed the squirt here,” Eddie says, shaking Will around like a ragdoll, “and then we get Steve the fuck out of there.”

Jonathan and Nancy make sandwiches. Will wonders if Eddie’s tastes like sawdust, too.

“We should go to his parents, right?” Barbara asks, picking at her own sandwich disinterestedly.

“No,” Will says, just at the same time as Eddie says, “No fucking way!”

Barbara widens her eyes, clearly shocked. She hadn’t been there when Steve seemed like he’d rather gnaw his own arm off than go to his house to try and call his own parents. She’s never lived with the looming shadow of Lonnie Byers pacing outside her bedroom door in the middle of the night.

“There’s no way they’ve even realized Steve is missing,” Eddie says, vehemently, “much less care.”

Jonathan shoots Will a look, and Will knows they’ve both mentally inducted Steve Harrington into the bad dad’s club. Maybe Eddie, too.

“Then, what?” Barbara asks with a sigh, clearly done with their shit.

“We have to find it again,” Nancy says.

Barbara looks at her best friend like she’s never seen her before. “You want to go back out there?”

“Maybe we don’t have to.” she says, folding her hands primly on the table, even as her eyes go flinty and hard. “When I saw it, it was feeding on a dead deer, meaning it’s a predator, right?” No one responds, so she keeps going. “And it seems to hunt at night, like a lion or a coyote.”

“It got me and Steve at night,” Eddie says.

“Me, too,” Will contributes, when everyone looks at him. “I fell off my bike and scraped my hands. It got in the house.”

“You were bleeding?” Eddie asks, turning fully in his chair to bore holes into Will’s head until he nods. He sinks into his chair, knocking his head backward to stare up at the ceiling. “At the party, Steve punched the wall. His knuckles were bleeding.”

It comes out lifeless. Will wants to beg him to stay here at the table with them, not drift back into his mind where no one can follow. But, Steve and Eddie seem a lot like him and Mike, intrinsically linked until one doesn’t seem right without the other, like best friends always are.

He hopes Mike is okay.

“Of course he did,” Barbara mutters.

Eddie comes back to life at the comment to snarl at the girl. “Shut your fucking mouth.”

“Okay!” Nancy says, raising her hands palm up, placating. “We all want Steve back, right?” Everyone nods, even Barbara with her pursed mouth and cold eyes. “It's just a theory, but sharks can detect blood in one part per million, that’s one drop in a million, and they can smell it from a quarter mile away.”

“So, you’re saying it can detect blood?” Jonathan asks.

“It’s just a theory,” Nancy replies.

“We could test it,” Will says. “But if it works.” He doesn’t finish the thought. He never wants to see the Demogorgon again, but for Steve, he will. Steve Harrington had saved his life, and then Will had taken Eddie away from him.

“At least we’ll know it’s coming,” Eddie says, as only a person who’d been surprised by it too many times. “And we’ll be ready.

Part 23

#steddie upsidedown au #steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #my fic #will pov!!!!!

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saraswritingtipps · 10 months

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A list of hair colors that you can use for your novel:

1. Black hair

2. Jet black hair

3. Blue-black hair

4. Brown hair

5. Light brown hair

6. Dark brown hair

7. Chestnut brown hair

8. Auburn hair

9. Red hair

10. Ginger hair

11. Strawberry blonde hair

12. Blonde hair

13. Platinum blonde hair

14. Ash blonde hair

15. Golden blonde hair

16. Sandy blonde hair

17. Dirty blonde hair

18. Honey blonde hair

19. Silver/Gray hair

20. White hair

21. Salt-and-pepper hair

22. Blue hair

23. Green hair

24. Purple hair

25. Pink hair

26. Lavender hair

27. Teal hair

28. Turquoise hair

29. Gray hair

30. Silver hair

31. Blonde highlights

32. Brown highlights

33. Red highlights

34. Caramel highlights

35. Balayage

36. Ombre

37. Two-tone hair

38. Multicolored hair

39. Burgundy hair

40. Mahogany hair

41. Copper hair

42. Ebony hair

43. Golden brown hair

44. Platinum silver hair

45. Chestnut highlights

46. Rose gold hair

47. Lilac hair

48. Coral hair

49. Pastel blue hair

50. Rainbow hair

Feel free to mix and match these hair colors or use them as inspiration to create unique variations. Remember that hair color can be a significant aspect of a character's appearance and can complement their personality, traits, and overall story. Happy writing!

#writing #writing tips #character development #writer on tumblr #writerscommunity #writer tumblr #writblr #writing advice #oc character #writing help #creative writing

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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Could you please do some headcanons about Batmans cooking disasters over the years?

Age 5: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

Age 6: He decorates a cookie so badly another kid cries until they throw up

Age 7: He tries to make a PB&J and the countertop is sticky for a week

Age 8: He tries to make Martha's chicken noodle soup but ends up crying on the kitchen floor surrounded by half-chopped vegetables

Age 9: He tries to impress a houseguest by recreating Thomas's mixology tricks (sans alcohol). There's still a stain on the ceiling to this day

Age 10: He makes green eggs. It's not on purpose. He's never even read the book

Age 11: He makes lava in the school cafeteria

Age 12: He tries to make cheese bread by drilling holes into a baguette and filling it with melted nacho cheese

Age 13: He melts a cutting board in the oven

Age 14: He folds a Pop Tart

Age 15: The chocolate-covered bananas he makes for the school bake sale come out looking very very wrong

Age 16: He's asked to drop a home economics class after mistaking refried beans for pumpkin puree in a pie

Age 17: He boils eggs in the carton

Age 18: He makes his entire freshman dorm evacuate after burning his ramen to ash

Age 19: He sculpts a severed hand out of meatloaf and is sent to the university psychologist

Age 20: He tries to bake a cake but doesn't have a cake pan, so he pours the batter right in the oven

Age 21: He tries Thomas's mixology tricks again, this time with alcohol. One of the tricks is flipping it over his head. He ends up losing part of his vision for 3 days

Age 22: He burns water. Harley Quinn is there. She still holds it over his head

Age 23: He packs his first patrol snack as Batman. It's a chocolate bar wrapped in a tortilla. The chocolate melts onto his gloves and he drops the tortilla down a sewer grate

Age 24: He makes an ice cream cookie sandwich to eat while he and Batgirl work on a case, but he's so engrossed in the work that he doesn't notice it melt until Babs points it out

Age 25: He enters the first annual Justice League cook-off and immediately gets banned from ever entering again

Age 26: He tries to comfort little Dickie Grayson by making fried cornbread from a book of Roma comfort recipes. It turns out about as well as you'd expect when you give Bruce Wayne hot oil. Bruce is genuinely bummed out, but Dick says it's the thought that counts

Age 27: Clark delivers a huge hunk of beef from the farm. Instead of waiting for Alfred to come back, Bruce and Dick try to break it down with a power saw

Age 28: Bruce and Dick's latkes are burned so badly they can play floor hockey with them

Age 29: He makes stuffed mushrooms. Badly. Like imagine the worst way you can fuck up a mushroom. It still won't compare to what Bruce did. And it's for a potluck with the West-Allens that Barry won't let him live down

Age 30: Bruce sees Dick struggling to make ravioli and he's like "Let me show you how it's done" before proceeding to make it infinitely worse

Age 31: Bruce sees a hungry Jason Todd and the first thing he does when they return to the manor is make a double-decker bread sandwich. That's bread with two more slices of bread in between

Age 32: Bruce packs Dick and Jason's lunchboxes when Alfred is out of town. They're supposed to include a salad. Instead, Dick gets a whole head of lettuce and Jason's is just a bottle of ranch

Age 33: He makes hot chocolate after patrol... but forgets the chocolate

Age 34: The Manor is too cold, so Bruce tries to warm it up by making Jason's favorite soup. His hands shake the whole time. Suddenly, he's eight years old again, sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by scraps reminding him of his failure

Age 35: Jack and Janet Drake are out of the country again, leaving young Timmy by himself. Bruce decides to bring some dinner over. It's baked perfectly, but it's full of things that shouldn't be anywhere near a casserole dish. They end up ordering takeout and watching old detective movies together

Age 36: Steph walks through how to make waffles. Bruce is standing there, watching closely and taking notes. They still come out looking radioactive

Age 37: Cass asks if they can get smoothies. Bruce says he can make them at home. She gives him a warning look but that's not enough to stop him. Cue Bruce forgetting to put the lid on the blender

Age 38: Jason's first night back at home, Bruce tries to make that soup. It shoots out like a geyser and hits the lights. He's panicking until he hears Jason laugh, and then the soup doesn't matter

Age 39: Damian screws up hummus and he desperately tries to hide it so people won't see him as inadequate at something so basic. Instead of getting upset, Bruce assures him it's okay and offers to fix it. (He doesn't fix it, he just makes it worse)

Age 40: Bruce's birthday happens while he's fake-dead and away from home. He grabs a convenience store cupcake and sticks a single candle on it. Then he closes his eyes, pretends his family is around him, and makes a wish. (The candle droops and sets the hotel sheets on fire)

Age 41: Back at the Manor, he attempts to make lemonade on a particularly hot day. Selina offers to help, but Bruce declines, saying, "How hard can it be?" (Spoiler alert: it's not supposed to be full of seeds)

Age 42: Kate shows him a video of Canadians pouring maple syrup into the snow to make candy, so he gets her to boil the syrup so they can do it together. The problem comes when they can't control the pour and end up with a glob the size of Damian

Age 43: As part of a school project, Bruce and Duke try to deduce the Coca-Cola secret formula. Duke's teacher takes a point off because at the beginning he told her he'd taste the results, but there's no way he's doing that now

Age 44: The family gets together to make a full English breakfast Alfred's birthday. Each person takes a part—Dick has eggs, Jason has the grilled tomatoes, Tim has mushrooms, Duke has the bacon, Steph and Cass are tag-teaming the sausages, Damian just has to open a can of beans, and Bruce needs to put bread in the toaster. It goes South immediately when Damian reaches for his katana instead of the can opener

Age 45: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

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retellingthehobbit · 1 year

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Welcome! This is the official tumblr blog for my webcomic adaptation of The Hobbit.

When does it update? I post a massive 20+ page chapter every few months. If you want to see one page a week, viewing a chapter as it slowly comes together and getting “sneak previews” of everything— you can support me on my Patreon.

Where can I find it? Ao3 here, or on Webtoon here. You can also see pages early on Patreon. Finally, I also crosspost to tumblr. You can start at chapter 1, or any of the links below:

Chapter 1: A Bedtime Story/Tooks and Bagginses Chapter 2: A Very Respectable Hobbit Chapter 3: Very Old Friends Chapter 4: An Unexpected Party, Part One Chapter 5: An Unexpected Party, Part Two Chapter 6: An Enormously Important Dwarf Chapter 7: The Lonely Mountain Translator's Note Chapter 8: A Tangled Web Chapter 9: Ash and Smoke Chapter 10: The Heart of the Mountain Chapter 11: Polite Nothings Chapter 12: The Company's Quest Chapter 13: The Necromancer Chapter 14: Terms & Conditions Chapter 15: Unattached Chapter 16: The Song of the Lonely Mountain Chapter 17: Dawn Chapter 18: Over the Hill and Across the Water (Coming April 13th (tentatively), first several pages up on my Patreon) Chapter 19: Roads Go Ever On (the grand finale of this arc! Coming TBD)

Chapter 20/21/22: Q & A, character sheets, miscellaneous fun (Coming TBD) In this adaptation, titled “Retelling the Hobbit,” the book is reimagined as a bedtime story told by unreliable narrator Bilbo Baggins to a younger Frodo. The art style changes depending on which character is telling the story; most of the story is in Bilbo’s art style, but when Thorin explains the history of the Lonely Mountain or Gandalf explains the history of the Necromancer, it shifts into the different art styles of those characters. The comic's typography, art, and writing gradually improves over time :).

On this tumblr blog I will post all of the chapters (tagged #chapters and #chapter number.) I will also post additional art, which I will tag #not chapters, #wip, #misc, and #announcements.

Where else can I follow you? My main is @secretmellowblog, my general art blog is @secretmellowart, and my lotr sideblog is @overthinkinglotr. I am also on instagram at @blog.mellow and on Tiktok at Mellow_art8.

Feel free to send me asks about the comic, or to @ me if you post about it! :3

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy. <3

#pinned post #the hobbit #Tolkien #lotr #the hobbit comic #retelling the hobbit #finally making an info post as I get back into it!!!!!!

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asumofwords · 11 months

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Smoke, Fire and Ash Masterlist Part 1 Chapters 1-50

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50

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elisysd · 1 year

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Cruel Summer -Masterlist

Prologue

1. Seasons - Bebe Rexha

2.Beautiful People – Ed Sheeran

3. Get to know you – Samantha Harvey

4. Anywhere – Rita Ora

5. The Man – Taylor Swift

6.Late Night Talking – Harry Styles

7. The List – Maisie Peters

8.The Night we Met – Lord Huron

9.The Show – Niall Horan

10.Somewhere only we know – Keane

11.Tolerate It – Taylor Swift

12.Glowing Review – Maisie Peters

13.I Wanna Be yours – Arctic Monkeys

14.Lover of mine – 5 Seconds of Summer

15.Gentle – Lexi Jayde

16.City of Stars – La La Land

17.Astronomy – Conan Gray

18.Bad for Buisiness – Sabrina Carpenter

19.I’ll get the Coffee -Kathryn Gallagher

20.Easy – Camila Cabello

21.Yours- Conan Gray

22.Riptide – Vance Joy

23.Labyrinth – Taylor Swift

24.Us – James Bay

25.You are in love – Taylor Swift

26. Dandelions - Ruth B

27. I like me better - Lauv

28. Happiness is a butterfly - Lana Del Rey

29. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

30. Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

31. There it goes - Maisie Peters

32. Ho Hey - The Lumineers

33. One way or another - Blondie

34. Difficult - Gracie Abrams

35. Boat - Ed Sheeran

36. Power - Little Mix

37. I lived - One Republic

38. Best Days - Alessia Cara

39. Ferrari - James Hype

40. Till Forever Falls Apart - Ashe, Finneas

41. Place in me - Luke Hemmings

42. Green Light - Lorde

43. Physical - Dua Lipa

44. Lover - Taylor Swift

45. Exhale - Sabrina Carpenter

46. Timeless - Taylor Swift

Epilogue

Never Grow Up (Lyanna's pregnancy and Julia's birth)

Paper rings (Lyanna & Charles wedding)

First times (Julia's first Grand Prix attendance)

Happy birthday (Julia's first birthday)

Best Days (Julia's first words and steps)

Mean (Julia's first day at kindergarten)

Out Of The Woods (Charles teaches Lyanna how to drive)

Eyes Open (Losing Julia in the paddock)

Superman (Julia tries karting for the first time)

Soon You'll Get Better (Lyanna's second pregnancy)

Castles Crumbling (Charles and Lyanna's relationship)

Dress (Lando's wedding)

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #fiction #writing #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x female reader #cl16 #cl16 x reader #f1 x oc #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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calderacitylovers · 9 months

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Zutara SlowBurn FanFiction: Personal Favs, part II

· DESTINY IS A FUNNY THING by Megara Pike | Published: 2020-08-21 | 198K Words | 45 Chapters

ATLA Season 3 rewrite, fills in a lot of blanks between canon scenes. From the Southern Raiders to Sozin's Comet through coronation and aftermath. Growing friendships, bonding, being there for each other, a carnival & a cave, epic spirits' appearance on the Ember island, sparring, nightmares, assassination attempts, political ruses, and covert operations. Lovely, sweet. Exciting plot.

· ATLA Book 4: Ashes by elayne_cypher | Published: 2018-10-27 | 306K words | 34 Chapters

This action-packed story picks up right after Ember Island Players and continues well after the war. Zuko is facing many challenges as a new Fire Lord. Romance, tough decisions, rebels, traitors, out-of-body experiences, secret headquarters, angst, teamwork, fire jets. The story has a bunch of OCs.

· Refraction by caroes3725 | Published: 2020-09-09 | 215K Words | 37 Chapters

After breaking up with Aang, Katara needs to figure out her place and role in the patriarchal world. As determined Katara stubbornly bulldozes her way through Fire Nation political scene, her feelings for Zuko grow. Diplomatic visits, Gaang reunion, bonding with Kanna, insights into the life of Caldera city, stuffy politicians, cute correspondence, tropical storm, women supporting women, assassination attempts, personal boundaries. A sweet well-written coming-of-age story with a healthy measure of slow-burn and mutual pining. Katara and Zuko are both POVs, but the story mostly follows Katara. Bonus: Mai is NOT a clingy resentful idiot, but a smart person and a good friend. Some explicit language here and there, a bit of mild smut.

· I Asked You First by halfhoursonearth | Published: 2020-10-03 | 142K words | 22/? Chapters

Ongoing, incomplete. Post Southern Raiders ATLAS3 rewrite. Mostly canon-compliant with blanks filled in between familiar scenes. Zuko and Katara develop a close friendship built on trust and sharing each other’s fears and hopes. Includes mentions of implied child abuse, Lu Ten’s diaries, exploring Avatar Roku’s legacy, sharing a balcony, heart-to-hearts, a hot spring under the stars, an actual date, and artbending. It’s incomplete, but what we have is bliss. Slowburn, mutual pining. Zutara-centric, but also explores the personalities of Team Avatar and their relationships.

· Katara Alone by cablesscutie | Published: 2020-05-31 | 21K words

Katara is not an “unnecessary accessory to a more powerful man”. After the war, she is willing to forge her own path as she turns to people who need her the most on her journey of self-discovery. Features character exploration, correspondence, exploring outback villages of Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom, sweet reunions, and new firebending skills.

· THE PHOENIX AND THE DRAGON - THE COMPLETE SERIES by JasmineTeaLatte | Published: 2021-06-11 | 100K words | 31 Chapters

This story picks up after The Ember Island Players. Zuko and Katara get to know each other during a late-night conversation by the campfire. In this story, you will find healthy boundaries, protective Sokka, a dash of Taang, sparring, funny banter & lots of flirting.

· HESITATE by tiffaniesblews | Published: 2020-07-11 | 22K Words | 12 Chapters

This story picks up right after Zuko's coronation and spans two years afterwards. Zuko & Katara talk, share a few beautiful moments, write to each other, and reunite for the 2nd anniversary of the war ending. Very sweet, fluffy story about two sweethearts figuring out their feelings for each other.

· LIKE WE'RE MADE OF STARLIGHT by Naladot | Published: 2021-11-28 | 5K Words

Katara leaves her post as the ambassador to the Fire Nation to take up a new one as the ambassador to the Northern Water Tribe. Her absence makes Zuko realize that he's got an unfortunate crush, which he is determined to keep secret. Unfortunately for him, subtly has never been one of his strengths—especially when he arrives in the Northern Water Tribe and she keeps taking him on what seem to be dates.

· FIGURE IT OUT by clearascountryair | Published: 2021-12-20 | 35K words | 13 Chapters

After choosing not to kill Yon Rha, Katara rethinks her sense of self and others' perceptions of her. Or, In which Katara learns that there’s a really big difference between being kissed when you don’t want to be and being kissed when you do. Aged-up 3B/Ember Island AU.

- I FOUND YOU by that_turtleduck | Published: 2020-11-01 Completed: 2024-02-24 Words: 157,541 Chapters: 28/28

After divorcing Aang, Katara uproots her family and travels to Caldera. There she finds comfort, kindness and support from an old friend. Katara tries to find her footing as an independent political figure. Great story & relationship dynamic of Momtara & Dadko in their early 30s (Ember island, diplomatic meeting, dancing, turtleduck pond, letters). Delicious slow burn with rewarding spicy resolution in the end (explicit open door). Titters on the side of Anti-Aang.

Here’s a link to Part I of my personal favorites.

Here’s a link to Wholesome Zutara Short Stories.

#zukoxkatara #Katara x Zuko #zutara #zutara fanfiction #zutara fic

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resplendent-ragamuffin · 23 days

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Six Months Since

By Shoshana bat-Yehonatan

A poem for the six (Hebrew) month anniversary of the Simchat Torah Massacre. With thanks to the JPS, Koren, Metsudah, and other translations on Sefaria.org. Footnotes link to sources of quotes. Footnotes connect to sources which will be in reblog, because otherwise it's too long to post.

TW: RAPE

Six months has it been

Since the fields turned red without flowers

Now calaniot bloom where once my darlings danced

But still, my precious ones are gone.

I have no prophets to comfort me

No visions from God [1]

My king remains in exile [2]

How can I sing a song of God on alien soil [3]

In an alien tongue?

Yet I have been too long a stranger in a land not mine[4]—

Two thousand years, to a paltry hundred and twenty—

And I forgotten even how to speak the Holy Tongue

Let alone write in it.

I have neither wit nor words to sing my grief.

And so I turn to those before me

As they turned to those before them

And say,

“God, open my lips, and let my mouth declare my grief.” [5]

Oholiva cries [6]

And Ohola wails [7]

This year was pregnant[8] with a second month of joy

Instead she wails in travails unending

“When will my children return?” [9]

Oh wall of Fair Zion [10]

Shed tears like a river [11]

Cry out in the night and pour your heart out like water [12]

Rachel’s eyes are red as her sister’s [13]

As she weeps over the fate of her children [14]

Six months it has been

Since they ravaged women in Zion [15]

Maidens in the towns of Judea [16]

Since their hands tore my princes apart

No deference shown to elders [17]

On this day six months ago

My infants were taken captive before the enemy [18]

The joy of our hearts was seized

And our dancing turned to mourning [19]

For the youths are gone from their music [20].

Now my eyes shed rivers of water [21]

Over the ruin of my people’s daughter [22]

Bitterly I weep in the night [23]

My cheeks wet with tears [24]

There is none to comfort me: my friends have betrayed me [25]

I cry:

Behold my agony! [26]

My priests and my elders have perished in the city [27]

The elders strewn like dust on the ground [28]

Those whom I dandled and reared my foe has consumed [29]

“This is the day we hoped for! We have found it, we have seen it!” [30]

My maidens and youths have gone into captivity! [31]

“It is your doing.” [32]

Blood on her legs, her nakedness seen, [33]

Zion reaches out for comfort [34]--

“Away! Unclean!” [35]

She can only shrink back and sigh [36]

“May it never befall you.” [37]

The nations have resolved “They shall stay here no longer” [38]

We wander and wander [39]

But where are we to go?

How can I bear to see the destruction of my kindred? [40]

“My life as my wish, my people as my request,” [41]

I begged my Husband [42]

“For we have been targeted, my people and I, to be destroyed, massacred, and exterminated.” [43]

But the King turned His face from me.

My dear ones were purer than snow [44]

Ruddier than rubies or coral [45]

Their bodies lovely as sapphire [46]

Now their faces are darkened with ash [47]

Unrecognizable amid the ruin of the streets [48]

See, God, and behold to whom You have done this! [49]

Look at me, answer me, Oh God! [50]

How long will You hide Your face from me? [51]

I have no prophets now to comfort me

And must take my comfort from those before:

You promised “God will restore your captives.” [52]

Return them, God, and let them come back [53]

Renew our days as of old. [54]

#october 7 #bring them home now #israel #am yisrael chai #jumblr #tw: rape #I'm so tired #poetry #jewish

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jjunsolos · 1 year

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CHANGE OF PLANS - k.th smau

sypnosis - yang yn. a sweet girl who is in love with a man who is, unfortunately, in love with someone else. all yn can do at this point is just hope that they cross paths. and they will… right?

pairing - taehyun x fem!reader

genre - smau + written, high school!au, fluff, crack, angst(not rlly), strangers (kinda) to lovers, slow burn, one sided love for like a second

warnings - kms/kys jokes, profanity, humor (i rlly hope yall think im funny😭), stress, insults, intentional lowercase, injury, jealousy, mentions of food, heart break (ish). lmk if i missed anything 🙏

characters - yunjin and chaewon from le sserafim, jungwon and sunoo from enhypen, yohan from wei, and all of txt

schedule - completed!

california gworls | tube a two

(1) taping to my wall. (2) KMS FML (smau + written) (3) mama chaewon (4) i aint reading all that (5) the gworls are fighting (6) shucks. (written) (7) dumb fool (8) taehyun senses are tingling (9) if its not taehyun, its yn (10) pretty girl yn (11) that hurted a little. (12) she needs sir beomgyu (13) man oh man (written) (14) we 🆙 (15) maybe another time (smau + written) (16) pass the tissues (17) shit up (18) too cute (smau + written) (19) gurl bye (20) a way with words (21) what :) (22) goodbye hana. (23) best duo out there frls (smau + written) (24) PASS THE TISSUES AGAIN (25) fall in luv. (26) EPILOUGE

taglist [closed] - (bold = couldnt mention)

@itspalaly @forever-in-the-sky2 @wonioml @aestheticsluut @cutesince2000 @taekwondoes @mackjestic @ghostfacefricker6969 @venmntl @ashxxgyu @luvsoobs @captivq @catsyoon @pinkheadflowers @belovedxiao @marekmybeloved @sullystraw @lovekyr @beomfair @thisisnotjacinta @ckline35 @softie00 @strawbrinkofdeath @hawkins-hs @ioszzn @b1ndignity @enhapocketz @calssunflower @wezbin @londonchuu @boomboomcat @floating-moon-dust @letapostropheesgo @uno7 @hoonfever @vixensss @bunnystrm @mxxnlight-ash @hyu-kas @irehluvr @medream @absheva @mxlsmith @txtbrainrot @curly-fr13s @erin-calling

author’s note - completed !

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