#ashton fic

[suchalonelysunflower]

Happier Than Ever (Stay) (A.I)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Fem!Singer! Reader

Summary: Based on the songs Happier than Ever by Billie Eilish and Stay by Post Malone. pt 2 of YOYOK. You go back to L.A and old friends open old wounds

Warnings: ANGST. This is very, very based on my own experience so this is my therapy session with you guys, sorry. Mentions of abuse, death, melancholia, psychological abuse, sad times, curse words. And grammar errors (I didn't even check twice, I'm sorry)

Word Count: 8.7 k

Author's Note: Hey, I'm back because I've missed you and I needed to get this fit out of my chest and survive it. Please, if you like it reblog it and comment, I love to know your thoughts. SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS THAT WE'RE GETTING FEWER AND FEWER HERE. Thank you. Hope you like it and happy reading

YOYOK / Masterlist

“Hey,… I know it’s been a long time since we last saw each other. I’ve heard the new album is coming along great, I’m so happy for you. You… You seem happy, or at least that’s what I can see on social media. I just- I heard you were coming back home- I mean, L.A for some time and well, I was wondering if we could catch up? If you don’t have a place to stay maybe you could crash into mine, like the old times. But you probably already… Anyhow, just call me or text me if you want to. I would really love to-”

When I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever Wish I could explain it better I wish it wasn't true

You love the feeling of being above the clouds. So close to the sky that you marveled on the technological advances that allowed you to feel free.

“Mom, look!” You thought “I’m in the clouds, so high above. Is this the feeling you were always dreaming about?”

A pang of nostalgia stabbed your heart, wishing your mom could be there with you experiencing all of this. But she was back at home, safe and sound on the surface. You knew it was for the best, that you could miss her a little bit more before your heart begged you to go and visit, even when your mind knew better than to believe those rose colored glasses of memory.

Was it the feeling of familiarity that made you feel safe even when it hurt? Maybe. Still, you wish you could’ve shown the world to her, give her everything on a silver platter and say “Mom, I did it. I can take care of you now”

What would she say?

You know she’s proud and she’s thankful for everything you’ve done for her. Still, it doesn’t feel like enough. Her eyes just won’t shine the same way; her smile would change; and the hug won’t ever feel as comforting as you’d expected. Your heart would tell you that she loves you, but your mind would always go back to those moments where you doubted it could ever be unconditional. So you’ve learned to miss her a little bit longer each time. Longer until you learn to miss her for the rest of your life.

It was not a foreign feeling, but it was one that you learned to feel and apply to your life. With time you’ve known the patterns, you’ve learned to grow and let go because that’s not the energy you need to spend even a bit of your mind over. You could miss the happy moments but know that they don’t fit anywhere with the person you want to be most. For your own good, you needed to learn how to let go.

The path was not easy - having to teach your heart not to bleed itself dry for the memory of past times. All the tears and the hurt, it was all part of healing what other people broke. So, the beauty of the cracks made you see just how worthy you are. Even if sometimes the water leaks and your mind starts a whirlwind of doubt, you would never come back to the person you used to be when the people that you loved most didn’t love you as you deserved.

Since then, you found yourself thriving. Not only in your career as a musician, with your lyrics that resonated with a lot of people and even made you gain a considerable number of new fans; but, also with yourself. You started loving more freely, more authentically. you saw yourself in a better light and wished people from your past could see just how much better you are without them. Not to be mean or to gloat, but for them to know that you didn’t cave, that life was meant to be lived and you will be doing just that even if they’re not part of it anymore. You wanted them to be happy for you, just as happy as you are for them.

Still, it scared you to go back to L.A, a place that has seen you at your worst and was the cause of your declining mental health. Even if it was for a short period of time, you knew you couldn’t stay there. Your place, the place that you belong was somewhere across the sea; far from anything and anyone that could make you feel like you once did. Like you didn’t matter.

Yet, no process of healing is ever complete until the cycle of hurt is broken. There were some things in your chest that begged for you to say them. Now it was time to let them out. And, if you were honest, a tiny bit of curiosity tied itself to that feeling. There were just too many unanswered questions still left hanging in thin air. The problem was that you didn’t know if you’d like the answers.

“Hey, Y/N” Your agent called your attention as she sat next to you “I need to confirm the last dates for your airbnb, are you sure you want to shorten your stay?”

You smiled softly at her “Yeah, I will be staying with some friends after”

“Okay, but are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. There’s a lot of things we need to catch up”

Every time we make-up, the truth is fading' Everybody's blind when the view's amazing'

It was weird to feel foreign in a place that helped shape you into the person you are now. But, then again, L.A never felt like home. Australia didn’t either, even though that’s what you’ve been saying in all the interviews when they asked what’d you miss more from home. “My family, the sweets, my friends, the sun…” But the sun did shine in other places; your family, you realized, never made any difference; the sweets could be ordered online; and your friends… Your friends changed. In the end, home never felt like home because you could create it everywhere you’d go.

There just places you’ve been. Home is something else, something you haven’t found yet.

Still, if you had to admit something is that the sun in L.A shines differently than in other places. It always seemed like you were entering a strange dimension, always playing “Something about the sunshine” on loop inside your mind.

You’ve been there a month and so. Enough time to have meetings and writing retreats that lasted a weekend. You’ve been to social required events, just as you do every couple of months to show your agency that you do know just how lucky you are. You’ve been to concerts, gave concerts, left concerts early to go and drink some wine curled up with a book in your bathtub in the hotel room. A small holiday mixed with a little bit of work, you’d say.

But you were leaving in a week, and there are still some things left on the schedule.

You sighed as you grabbed your bag from the sidewalk. The driver was kind enough to offer his assistance, but you would much rather face this by yourself first. During the drive you’ve imagined what it would feel like. Seeing him again. You wondered if your heart was beating faster than usual because of excitement or anxiety. In all honesty you didn’t know what to expect or even if you should be expecting something out of this experience.

Yet, you made up your mind to try and heal this. Get the answers that you longed for and be able to move on completely free. So, once the car drove away, you walked up to the door you’ve only seen in pictures before, and rang the bell.

For a moment you wondered if he remembered. Hoping that, in the end, his proposal of having you as his guest wasn’t just a passing comment he made. After all, you didn’t know when you’ll be back in the city or if your schedule would ever be as free in L.A as it is now. And even if he forgot and didn’t expect you, well, you can’t say you’d be surprised. Thank goodness for back-up plans.

“Coming!” You heard moments before the door opened, barely giving you time to prepare.

There he was. His hair was longer, somewhat a few tones lighter than the last time you saw him. His eyes took a couple of blinks to recognize you, changing the gleam in that hazel color you used to share so many secrets with. He smiled at you, the ghost of a laugh hidden in the dimples you used to poke at lunchtime, claiming that it wasn’t fair that he got to be the pretty one of the two of you. And for a moment, the man standing in front of you was the same kid you met all those years back, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hey!” Ashton sang with a laugh, stepping closer into your space and hugging you with one arm as the other took your bag out of your hands “I’m so glad to see you! It’s been so long”

“Yeah,” You softly said, pulling back just enough to analyze his face “Thanks for the invite, Ash”

“Of course! I know you’re not a big fan of hotels anyway and, you know, it’s good to have you back. You’re always welcome to stay here when you’re in town”

He opened his arm toward the door and invited you in. You tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time you stepped foot into his house ever since he moved to L.A. He invited you before when you first moved, but schedules were complicated back then and after a while he stopped offering.

It was hard to think that once you used to live at his house back in Australia. Always trying to escape whatever nonsense was happening over at yours. At some point, you lost count how many times you ended up napping on his bed while he played some dumb internet game on his computer or watched a really dumb movie because “You don’t understand, Y/N, Seth Rogen is a genius” And you didn’t understand because even then you thought Seth Rogen was a creep, but it didn’t matter. You were in your safe space. You were with him. And he probably didn’t even know just how much that meant to you.

Now as you look around, you couldn’t help but search for that same feeling. A sign telling you it’ll be okay.

“Sorry, I know the living room is a little messy”

You turned to watch him look around the place with a slight blush on his cheeks. You smiled kindly at him.

“It’s okay, I’m not one to talk either” You turned back to the room “This place… suits you. It’s a lot like I imagined. Very artsy, very you”

He looked at you confused for a while “Yeah, I haven’t changed it much since -” He caught himself before he could continue and tried to cover his realization with a cough “No, yeah. Thanks! Come, your room is over here”

Once he settled your bag on the bed you went and sat next to it. Silence falling over the two of you as he stood awkwardly at the door.

“I hope everything is-”

“Everything is lovely, Ash” You smiled “Thank you”

He nodded and looked away. Hands hid inside of his pockets as he thought of the right thing to say. But nothing seemed to come to mind.

Suddenly, you felt out of place. Incredibly conscious that maybe you were an inconvenience now that you were there. Maybe, after all, he didn't want you there. You wanted to take this chance to meet him and talk, knowing you couldn’t just pretend that the years of separation and the strangeness you now felt toward each other didn’t exist. Yet, judging by his stand, there might not be a chance to bring those old moments back.

“So, how long are you staying in L.A for?” He asked. And he must’ve seen the way your face fell in disappointment for he quickly followed by saying “Not that I’m not happy that you’re here, of course, I invited you. Just wondering because that bag is just-”

“Oh. Yeah, no. My other bags are still at the hotel”

“The hotel?”

“Yeah, I just asked my team if I could leave them there since we leave in a week and I don’t need much to get by while I’m here and so…”

“Wait,” Ashton shook his head “You’ve been in L.A for a while now?”

“A month or so”

“And you didn’t tell me? Y/N, I offered you a place to stay for a reason”

You frowned “Ash, I did tell you. Last time we texted to see when I was arriving, I told you I was already here”

“No, you said-” He protested as he took out his phone and you watched him scroll down to your conversation. His words got caught up once he read those messages again “I- I though-”

“I have been incredibly busy these past few days, hence why I didn’t want to inconvenience you with my crazy schedule and all. This last week is all I have to relax and so I thought that we could catch up this week before I leave?”

“No, no, no yeah, you’re totally right.” He said, running a hand through his face, embarrassedly “I’m just an idiot”

You looked at him quizzically.

“Everything okay, Ash?”

“I thought we had more time, that’s all” He smiled softly at you “Anyway, ready for tonight?”

“Tonight?” You asked, a small smile forming in your face.

“Yeah! I’m taking you to dinner to celebrate your new album!”

Ashton started to dance awkwardly, making you laugh as you shook your head at him.

“You really don’t have to do that, you know?”

“I want to!” He said “You’ll see, just be ready by seven”

He clapped his hands and left the room. A warm feeling spread through your chest on the fact that he wanted to celebrate you and your success. It finally felt like he cared, like he hasn’t forgotten about you. This really was a chance to put all bad things in the past and start anew.

Or at least, that’s what you hoped.

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath 'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

Fuck off and pour another drink And tell me what you think You know that I'm too drunk to talk right now

You knocked on his door at fifteen past seven. You decided to wear your favorite light blue top with black, wide leg pants and some low heels. You didn’t really know where he was supposed to take you or how you should dress, so you went with the most comfortable but chic thing you could find given that you didn’t plan to go out as much.

When Ashton opened his door you took a step back to look at him. He was wearing jeans and a wide, white shirt. You could feel your cheeks blush, and had to look down to hide it. It was an awful familiar feeling that you thought you could leave behind knowing that it was extremely pointless to feel the way you once did.

And just like all those years back, he didn’t notice. But for the first time you were glad he didn’t.

“Sorry I made you wait” He said with a smile, closing the door behind him.

“It’s okay,” You said, looking up with a shy smile.

Ashton walked past you to grab his keys, the path he created with his cologne left you dumbfounded for a minute. It was a different smell, one that you weren’t familiar with.

“Why do you have so many colognes?” You asked him once, walking over to his small desk while he wrote what was left of his assignment. Ashton looked up and chuckled when he saw you puffing them into the air to smell them and making faces at each one “They’re mostly presents from my family. I think my aunts were trying to tell me something last year”

“Well, at least they have good taste” You said, trying on the one that had a clear, almost orangy color bottle “Yeah, I’m taking this one home”

“No the hell you’re not!” He got up and took the bottle away from you, raising his arm over his head so that you couldn't catch it. It was his favorite pastime to remind you just how short you were back then “This is my favorite one!”

“You never use it!”

“I will!”

After a couple more tries to grab it from his hands you saw yourself surrender and falling onto his bed again “If you don’t wear it at least five times a week, I’ll take it”

“Deal” He said with a smile, throwing one of his hoodies at you from the floor “And then you will hate it so much because it’ll remind you too much of me that you won’t even want it afterward”

You never told him that it would be the opposite.

Next thing you know, Ashton has parked and was getting out of the car. You looked around and you were surrounded by nice streets and expensive houses. You opened the door and looked over at Ashton who was nodding his head toward one of the houses.

“C’mon” He said with a smile.

“Where are we? Is this a new restaurant I haven’t heard about or…?” “What? No,” He chuckled, ringing the doorbell “Is my friend Andrew’s home. He invited us over for dinner to celebrate that he came back from tour as well”

You were at a loss for words, “He invited us?”

“Yeah, I told him you were coming. Why, what’s wrong?”

A lot. You wanted to tell him. A lot was wrong. How could he not see what he was doing? If he had told you that you were just going to a friend’s house then you wouldn’t have looked so out of place, or feel like a fish out of water. You didn’t know who this Andrew was, you didn’t even know if Ash had actually told them that you were coming or if you’re just going to turn up at this reunion/party for his friend. He said it was to celebrate you.

But before you could voice your concerns to him, the door opened and a guy with a big mop of hair jumped in to hug him.

“Dude! I’m so happy you could make it!” He - Andrew, apparently - smiled widely at Ash, chatting with him for a minute before he noticed you standing beside him “Oh, hi!”

“Hi,” You smiled shyly, extending your hand in greeting knowing Ashton was not going to introduce you judging by the face he just made, seemingly embarrassed of that fact “I’m Y/N”

“Of course!” Said Andrew, shaking your hand and pulling you in for a kiss on the cheek that you weren’t expecting “I heard so much about you, I didn’t know you were friends with this guy here”

“Yeah! We’re friends since the old Australian days” Ashton said, smiling at you “Y/N here dropped by for a visit since she’s doing a lil business around L.A”

You smiled tensely during that small exchange. Wanting nothing more than to crawl back into the car and wait for everything to be over.

One of the reasons you left L.A was because nothing ever felt right. For years you tried to fit in into the scene, going to parties and hosting them with a bunch of people who didn’t even know your last name. You were never good at making new friends, that is to say once you’ve established a relationship with someone then friendship would just roll around the corner. But everyone here was moving so fast it was almost impossible to even wish for a deeper connection with someone.

When you first moved, you thought it would be like a great new beginning. Yet you’ve never felt more alone. The only people you knew were from your team and from Ashton’s band, but even then they turned into more acquaintances given just how little time they seemed to spend in the city.

And maybe Ashton knew that. Maybe he was trying to fix that and give you some opportunities to mix with his group of friends; something you’ve been wanting to do since you moved here all those years ago. Still, something fell… off about all of this.

After the guys talked a little bit more, finally Andrew invited you in. There, you found a group of people you’ve never met hanging around the living room. Plastic cups and ashtrays were scattered around the room as a tinted, light smoke served to decorate the place and give you just an idea of the state of most attendees.

As you walked by, people started to come up to Ash, greeting him and spending a few minutes catching up. Not one of them turned to look at you for more than a second or even gave you the courtesy to say hi. Ashton didn’t seem to notice it at first, but there would come the rare occasion that he would introduce you to some of the groups that started forming around him.

It was not a rare sight for you. Back in school he was the popular one, always friendly with countless people you didn’t even see around school that often.

“This is Y/N, she’s here promoting her new album!” He’d say.

“Wait, I know you!” One of the strangers said, their smile totally welcoming “Taylor Swift gave you a few shout-outs recently, didn’t she?”

You smiled “Yeah! I had a chat with her at a label party a few days back. She’s amazing. We talked about collabing soon, maybe a writing session next time she flies out to the U.K”

“Damn, that’s awesome! I’m Laura, by the way” They said, extending her hand toward you “Ash, why didn’t you bring her along on one of our trips?”

Ashton chuckled “C’mon L, well…”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s our style. No offense” A guy next to them said. You frowned

“What do you mean?” You smiled awkwardly “Have you heard my songs before or-?”

“Nah, it ain’t that. It’s just- We don’t go Taylor Swift’s style”

You could feel your heart beating loudly inside your chest as you looked between Ashton and the other guy, hoping that Ash would intervene “But I’m not Taylor”

Once again you looked toward Ash, but his eyes were cast down to the bottle of beer that he held in his hands. You couldn’t help the disappointment that came over you then.

“Hey man, not cool” Laura said, locking your arms together as they pulled you away “Don’t mind him, he’s high out his mind right now. C’mon, let’s get a bit drunk”

They took you to the main couches and sat next to you. Your cheeks were a bit red from the humiliation. How could you have expected Ashton to defend you? He said it before that your music didn’t go with his vibes and that it was not really his thing, so why would he help you now?

“Those guys can be assholes sometimes. I love them, but they’re so…” Laura trailed off, looking over at you “But hey, forget about them. Tell me a little bit about yourself, how do you know Ash?”

You ended up telling them your whole story. About how you met when you were kids and how he was your best friend. How lonely you felt when he moved away the first time. And how excited you were to see him again after your big break, but that life got in the way. You probably told them more than you should’ve, but the drinks were soft and the room was crowded. And for the first time in the evening someone was actually willing to listen, curious to know you rather than know about you.

“That seems like a whole adventure” They smiled, “And when was the last time you saw Ash before deciding to come and stay with him?”

It wasn’t that long ago, a year or so earlier, when you gave a secret concert in London when you released your last album. He was standing in the corner, smiling at you as you sang. It was the first time since you told him you were moving a couple of years prior. You both kept following each other on social media, but that was pretty much it when it came to your relationship. And you were good with it.

You knew they were in the U.K for their tour, Michael and Crystal had asked you for drinks during that same week and you had a great time catching up. So, against your mind’s warning, you started to hope you would run to him soon enough. And when he appeared at the concert, you couldn’t help but smile back.

Afterwards, when you were back in the green room, you asked if he was still out there and to invite him over to chat. But no one from your team saw him; apparently he was already gone by the time you went off the stage. You remember waiting until you went home to allow yourself to cry, even for just a few minutes. That small interaction that seemingly never happened opened the wound back again. And, if you were honest with yourself, that was one of the main reasons why you decided to take on his offer to stay with him. But you didn’t say that.

“I don’t know,” You told them instead, as your eyes landed on Ashton standing a few feet away from you, a lighted joint between his lips as he laughed with people that you haven’t seen before “Since I moved to Scotland, I think. A while before, probably”

If Laura saw the sadness in your eyes, they never mentioned it. They just said “Okay, I think you should be a little bit drunker, my friend”

Hours later you were alone and tipsy sitting at the front porch of Andrew’s home, nursing a cigarette between your fingers.

“I didn’t know you smoked” A voice came from behind you.

You sighed, putting the filter in between your lips and taking a long hit before you let the smoke get lost into the night.

“You’re mad.” Ashton said, sitting next to you

“And you’re high”

“So we’re both telling the truth tonight” He chuckled, you didn’t “When did you pick up this habit?”

“I don’t know,” You answer honestly. “It was better than drinking myself to death back in Australia. It helps with my anxiety”

“What do you-”

“Alcohol makes you fat.” You deadpanned as you took another hit “I didn’t want my mom to have yet another reason for her nagging”

“Y/N-”

“But she’s not here so,” You passed him your empty cup, still not looking at him “Bring me another one, please?”

Ashton sighed “I think you had enough,”

“You will just never stop making decisions for me, are you?” You stood up, killing the cigarette after one last blow “I know what I’m doing, Ash. I’m a fucking adult, if you haven’t realized. I don’t need you to tell me what to do”

His eyes widened. He parted his lips as if to say something, looking over his shoulder back at the party. You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t worry, your friends can’t listen to what I’m saying. Your reputation will still be intact and they will still love everything that comes out of your mouth”

“Hey,” Ashton said with a bit of a bark “Don’t talk about them like that”

You pressed your lips on a tight smile, looking at him as your eyes filled with tears. You couldn’t believe that he was defending them like that from just a simple comment, but left you completely alone when they were making worse comments at you.

“Fuck, Y/N” He said, frustrated “I’m trying here, you know? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! You don’t want to talk to me, you moved across the world. You still talk to the guys-”

“They’re my friends,”

“I was your friend too!” He shouted, surprising you “And I want this to work. I want you here, with me. But if you don’t want to be here and go back to your fucking hotel- I want us to work!”

“Why am I here, Ash?”

“C’mon, don’t be like that! I just wanted you to meet a few people, celebrate your new album-”

“Yet none of them cared to get to know me, nor you to introduce me and actually wanting to celebrate with me” You took a deep breath and sighed “Give me the keys to the house, I want to leave”

Ashton shook his head.

“You’re angry. I get that”

“No, Ash. I’m tired and I want to go to bed” You said more firmly this time “Give me the keys and I’ll call an Uber”

“I’ll take you!”

“The fuck you aren’t” You laughed, not a hint of humor in your voice “You’re high with more than just weed apparently. I’m drunk. I would rather not fucking die tonight, thank you”

“I’m not going to-”

“I don’t want you to! Okay? Fuck, Ash! I don’t feel safe around you!”

You saw the ways his eyes changed, how hurt they looked so suddenly at your words. You knew you wounded him, but it was how you felt. You didn’t trust him, not tonight.

“Y/N…” He said, getting up and walking over to you but you took a step back. He sighed, roaming around his pockets before he found his keys and gave them to you “Text me when you get there, leave the keys by the potted tree”

You answered him with a nod and a small thank you. You didn’t watch him as he turned away and walked by to the house. You didn’t hear Laura, who was watching over from the window, tell him:

“I don’t know what you did, man. But I’ve never seen anyone with such sadness in her eyes”

Damn, who are we right now? Can we have a little conversation? Figure it out with no intoxication We carry on, what is our motivation?

You woke up when you heard footsteps outside of your door. You knew it was him waiting outside, probably debating on whether or not to knock on your door, wanting to talk. There were times in the past where he would just open the door to your room and sit down on the floor next to your bed, waiting for you to start talking or acknowledge him so that he could apologize or talk things through. Sometimes you didn’t need to say anything, you just understood each other. And as he walked away without a word, you wondered where did all those times go?

Where was the friend that would go out with you and wait on the street for a cab to take you home, no matter whom he was with or what you were doing. Where was the friend that when you snuck out to your first concert, he held you close by the waist and covered your body so that none of the beer that people were throwing around got into your clothes or hair. What happened to the friend that would stay awake chatting with you on the phone even though you had an exam early the next morning, all because the guy you liked broke your heart.

Tears rolled down your face as you tossed and turned on the bed. It wasn’t fair, your heart kept begging your brain to understand. It wasn’t fair that you had to lose it all without a warning.

Once upon a time, you thought you had it all as long as Ashton was there. Now, you begin to miss the times where he wasn’t. Times where you learned to be happy without him, where you didn’t need him or his approval. Times where you felt complete even though your best friend was not around anymore. You were better off without him, and learned to live without him. You knew that to be the truth. But one just can’t ignore the past and the mystery of how the person that makes you feel such horrible things about yourself once promised to give you the world and its stars and meant it.

You just couldn’t figure it out. So you just forced yourself to go back to sleep.

When you woke up again a few hours later and made your way to the kitchen, you found freshly made coffee and bagels waiting for you on the counter with a little note next to them:

“I’m sorry, can we talk about it later? XX Ash”

You sighed as you wiped out the tears that clung to your eyelashes. You took a sip of the coffee and found comfort in the heat of the mug.

On the other side of town, Ashton was doing the same thing. His eyes were covered behind dark sunglasses as he thought of what to say once he got home. In front of him, Calum can’t say that he’s impressed from what he’s heard.

“What’s your deal?” He asked his friend.

“I- I don’t know” Ashton answered, biting the inside of his cheek “I thought she would have a good time. She was always cool at coming to those types of parties with me back home, we used to have fun”

“You and I both know she hates parties, and back home she had you. The normal, probably tipsy you, to keep her company” Calum said, taking a bite out of his sandwich “Last week I found her sitting alone while the rest of the world was having a conversation around her. We talked and it was nice, she’s not normally that outgoing on the get-go. She never was”

“You saw her last week?”

“We were invited to Gabriel’s cocktail party. You didn’t want to go, as usual”

“You never told me that-”

“What? That we’re still in contact? Dude, we all talk to her from time to time. We mention her in our conversations every now and then. She’s still our friend”

Ashton sighed, “So she just hates me for no reason?”

“You truly think that Y/N L/N could hate you?” Calum chuckled, “That girl would’ve followed you straight to the end of the world back in Aus. As far as I know, there’s only one person she truly hated”

“Who?” Ashton scoffed “I’m pretty sure our politics teacher was not so bad”

“What? No, Ash-” Calum shook his head “Remember when-” His face went blank “Oh shit,”

“What?”

“You didn’t know?”

Tell me that it's all okay You ruined everything good I've been waitin' on this all damn day Always said you were misunderstood Call me in the morning', tell me how last night went I'm here, but don't count on me to Just fucking leave me alone

He found you sitting outside in one of his garden chairs. A cigarette was hanging from your fingertips as the ashes fell on the floor in a small pile. You didn’t look back at him, for your eyes were staring at the moon that decorated the sky with its beauty.

You felt him come outside and sit on the chair next to you. The sound of a lighter made you blink, and you sighed at his exhale. There was no way he was doing this sober, and you couldn’t blame him. Yet…

“I was hoping we could talk without any of that” You said. “You have your ways and I have mines”

Silence fell over the two of you once again. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your profile, but you didn’t have the courage to look at him just yet.

“When did I stop being your best friend?” He asked.

Tears quickly covered your eyes and you hated that. “Probably around the time when you stopped being mine”

“Y/N-”

“You held me, once. Not the usual hugs that we gave each other, no. This one was different. We were at school, an overnight vigil that the nuns made us do every year”

“Those were fun,” He commented “A huge sleepover at school”

“The theme was about lost ones, remember? I had just lost my grandma that past week”

“I wasn’t at the funeral, I was away on a trip to the city. She was the one that taught you how to bake”

“Yeah,” You chuckled. “Though, I was never good at it once she passed. Anyway, of course I started crying. I’ve already lost so many people back then, and I was barely hanging on. But then - then you held me, so tightly. And my tears left a damp stamp on your shirt. You cradled me and brushed my hair with your fingers and whispered “It’ll be okay, you can cry. It’s okay” and kissed my head as they started to sing. You sang as well and never said a thing about it afterwards. That was the moment I knew I couldn’t have loved you more”

The sound of a cricket broke your monologue, and you allowed yourselves to be fed into the sounds of nature for a while. You knew there were still things left unsaid, so you better get over with it now rather than later. You didn’t want to stay for the aftermath.

“Remember the first time you came back to Australia? I was still living there in the house we grew up in. I was having a shitty day at work, so I went to grab a coffee at our favorite coffee shop with other coworkers when a few of our old friends and classmates came through the door. We said our hellos and caught up, it was nice. Then they had to go. “Who’s coming with me to Ash’s house?” One of them said. I remember asking about it as they argued over who had to take the bus or a cab. They told me you were coming back that day and have invited people over to celebrate”

“Y/N,”

“You invited them. Even people I didn’t know that well and that I know for a fact didn’t know you as well. And don’t try to tell me it was a guys thing, cause you invited girl classmates as well”

Ashton opened his mouth to say something, yet nothing came out. “I was numb as I took a taxi home. I still remember that the radio played “Waiting for Superman” as I tried my hardest not to cry. But when I got into the kitchen, I just couldn’t stop. I cried myself to sleep that night knowing that you were just a door away but didn’t want me there”

“Y/N, I wanted you there” He said, putting his hand on your arm as he leaned closer “I - I know I can’t say anything to fix it now but- I missed you, too”

“It didn’t seem like it” You told him “Every time I learned something about you back then was through a story or a tweet. I learned through the paparazzi who you were with and in which city you were going to sleep next. I saw you living your best life with your friends away from home. And, I get it, we both resented that place and all that we suffered while we were there. I just - I just hoped that my memory was something worth saving, cause my memory of you always was and will always be the best thing that’s happened to me while we were there”

You turned to him and looked him in the eyes “It just hurt to know that while I put you on a pedestal, I was already out of your sight”

“Baby, you know that’s not true” You scoffed “I swear! In my memory, you were always there! Front of the line!”

“Then why-?”

“I was scared, okay?!” He shouted, lowering his eyes in shame “So fucking scared and it’s so stupid!”

“Scared of what?!” You shouted back, willing for him to look you in the eyes “Ashton, for god’s sake just tell me!”

“They told me that you liked me!”

For a moment time stood still. You backed away from him as his words started to make sense. You pulled away your arm, letting his hand grasp the space that you left between the two of you.

“What?”

“People started whispering,” He said, his voice broken as if he were crying “Telling me how good of a couple we could be. How happy you were with me and how in love you looked”

“When was it?”

“At the beginning of our senior year” Ashton admitted, ashamed “I- I already knew that I wanted to get out of Australia. I knew that with the guys we could take the band somewhere massive. So I put my whole soul into it, trying to escape the feelings that would pull me back”

“You thought I was pulling you back” You stated, betrayed.

“No! I was pulling myself back by thinking about it!” Ashton said, finally looking at you and hating the way you were looking at him “I couldn’t risk it”

“Couldn’t risk what?! That I could have feelings for you?!” You stood up “You’re unbelievable! You could’ve asked me! Come to me instead of running away and make me lose part of myself in the process. Parts that I can’t take back, that I can’t love back because of you”

“Y/N!” He tried reaching out to you, but you took a step back.

“No!”

“Y/N, please! Just-!”

He grabbed you by the elbow and pulled you to him. The movement made you lose your balance, tripping over your feet as Ashton maneuvered you to land on top of his lap, holding you by your waist.

The sudden proximity made you lose all the air inside your lungs as you looked at him and his hazel eyes surrounded by red. He looked desperate, pleading with his eyes for something you couldn’t understand. He was breathing hard, his chest colliding against yours where your heartbeats were going as fast as your thoughts. Almost impossible to catch up.

Then, almost without thinking, Ashton launched himself forward and pressed his lips on yours.

The softness of the kiss contrasted the chills that ran up and down your bodies. As you gasped for air, his hand came to tangle itself on your hair, pulling you closer to him as you allowed him to deepen the kiss. He sat back on the chair and pulled you with him, making your legs spread at either side of his hips; never once letting you go as he kissed you over and over again, like a man deprived of something more.

“Y/N,” He whimpered against your lips, making you sigh as his hands roamed your body until they landed on your hips, moving them against lower half “Y/N, please”

Your mind was clouded in smoke, feeling the heat of his kiss along the length of your neck. His words whispered your name, as his movements on your hips became erratic, letting you feel all of him under you.

“Please, please Y/N” He said, kissing and kissing and kissing every part he could find “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

Suddenly, you opened your eyes as you jumped back to reality. Putting a hand on his chest and pulling away from him. Both of you were left panting, as your skin tingled from the contact.

Ashton’s eyes were desperate, looking at you in fear of what you might do. His lips - you imagined - were a mirror of yours, plumb and beat red as your name escaped him in the form of a question. You closed your eyes and let a tear fall across your cheek as you shook your head.

“You don’t get to do this to me” Your voice, a whisper.

“What?” He asked, almost out of breath. But you were already getting off him and turning your step back to the house.

“You don’t get to do this to me!” You yelled through the tears “You don’t get to confuse me all over again. You don’t get to have a half-ass apology followed by a kiss that would make it all better!” You turned to him, poking a finger on his chest “You don’t get to make me hate myself all over again for loving you when you didn’t think it was convenient for you!”

“Y/N!” Ashton pleaded, taking your hand in his before you yanked it away “I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking-!”

“Exactly! You weren’t thinking! You never, not once, thought of me during all of this. Fucking admit it! Trying to get me to come here to patch things up was just such bullshit! You just wanted to make sure that I was still available for you any time you wanted! And don’t say it isn’t fair cause you were not aware of how miserable you made me!”

“That’s not true-”

“Was this just a plot to get me to bed?! Is that what you think of me now?!”

“It’s not true!” Ashton yelled “I know I made a mistake and I’m so fucking sorry! I should’ve never-! Look, I want to patch things up. You were right, goddammit, Y/N, you were right! It took me a long time to realize and fuck! After you moved away I was fucking miserable as well! I- I failed you”

You stood there in front of him, crying silently as he paced desperately.

“Ashton,” You called to him “Ashton, why am I here?”

Suddenly, he stopped and looked at you “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“About what?”

“For fuck’s- About the fact that you were abused, Y/N!” He yelled, leaving you speechless “Right after I left! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

You swallowed hard “It was none of your business-”

“You told Calum” He accused “You told Calum and you never told me. Why? Maybe it was not just me who was a shitty friend to you, after all, if you were going to keep things like that from me”

“How fucking dare you, Ashton Irwin. How fucking dare you?” You pushed him away “I told Calum by mistake! I didn’t mean to do it and it was years after it happened. And because I didn’t think you would care!”

“What?” He broke down, putting his hands on his knees for balance as he looked at you in tears “How- Why would you think that?”

“Because it’s the truth,” You cried “Just like you said, you had big dreams and a massive opportunity and I was just going to pull you back. Ashton, you just justified everything I thought it was true with that sentence”

“Y/N-”

“Do you think I had a good time? Knowing that my best friend, the only person I cared about in the world didn’t give a fuck about me to even ask how I was doing? So if you really wanna know… I don’t relate to you anymore. I don’t. I don’t want to think about what we had anymore because it just makes me fucking sad. I thought the world of you. Ash, you were my everything. I loved you, as a friend. I loved you, as the sun loves the moon even when it’s gone. I loved you with every prayer, every pleading, every move I made was for that one day I could be with you again, anyway that you would have me. I would’ve died a thousand times next to you, just as long as you kept me company. I didn’t care about what could happen to me. And when something happened, I tried to spare you from it, even when you never once asked. Fuck! I moved to L.A and this is the first time I’ve been in your house!”

“That’s-”

“I wish I could explain it better, I wish it wasn’t true. I wish we could’ve resolved this somehow, but let’s be honest. There is no bridge to burn when we're already so far away. And those memories? From all those years back? Now it all feels like a lie and don’t you dare say otherwise. You’re not the person I once knew, Ash. The person I once knew would’ve never invited me here to leave me alone at a party with people I don’t know, saying a cute lie about how it was for me when in reality it was to make you look a certain way. The person I once knew would’ve never made me feel like nothing every time we were at an event together and you couldn’t even say hi. The person I once knew would’ve never let their “friends” disrespect me in any way. The Ashton I knew wouldn’t have tried to make me feel sad. He wouldn’t have made me so miserable to be in my own skin because they’re not brave enough to face the music he so highly speaks about. You never once showed support for what I do once I became my own person. You never once called to ask how I was. You never once believed in me as much as I believed in you. You made me hate this city. But even more, you made me hate everything I used to love about us. Now I meet someone new and wondered if it’ll be like what we had. You ruined me, Ash. And you never apologized for it”

Ashton was shaking his head, crying as he listened to what you had to say.

After you had your feelings heard, you didn’t walk away or ran through the door so that you could escape the aftermath like you did back in December all those years ago. You were not going to run away again. Not when your heart finally felt light from all the things you’ve been carrying.

You and Ashton cried in silence, each one at one side of the room.

The two of you couldn’t help but wonder what had happened and why did it end up like this? You could play the blaming game; pretend this never happened; you could walk out and never see each other again; or, you could just stand there, waiting, digesting the sour words that fell from both your lips and think, think of anything that could be saved.

“What are we going to do?” Ashton finally asked, voice hoarse from the crying.

“I don’t know,” You answered in all honesty “It’s like we only play to lose”

“Every time,” He said, looking at you and giving a small chuckle. “Every time I see you it just hurts. Not for anything you’ve done, but for everything that I could’ve done but didn’t”

“Maybe it was for the best to have it end this way”

“But… I don’t want it to.” Ashton admitted in a whisper “Now that you’re here… I kept on failing cause I wanted to prove to myself that I still knew you”

You laughed “Who are we, Ash?” you asked “A girl that chases over the past and a boy with the excuse?”

“How the hell we’re going to make it?”

“Maybe we don’t” You shrugged “Maybe we’re just meant to be passing figures on the street. People we once knew. We can’t go back from this, Ash, and you know it. We’re just going to keep hurting each other”

Ashton nodded, walking over to you as you let yourself be embraced by a hug.

“I love you, Y/N. I will always love you”

“Terribly” You murmured against his chest “I will love you all my life, Ash. And I’ll miss you forever”

“Tell me that it’ll be okay? Please?”

You smiled and placed a small kiss on his chest, and held him tighter. And he knew.

He knew.

*

*

tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @irwin-fletcher-ash @wiiildflowerrr @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @in-superbloom @sadcupofcoffee @personalmuyverypersonal @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @youneedtocalumdown @heyitskelseaj @ashtonsunflower @calumspupils@secretsicanthideanymore @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @whywontyoulovemecami @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @bookthingz @gracieboogirl @fastandtheformula1 @lendeluxe

#5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #suchalonelysunflower #5sos #5 seconds of summer fic #Ashton Irwin fic #Ashton Irwin angst #happier than ever #yoyok #Ashton fic #ashton 5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer ashton #5sos Ashton #ashton 5sos #angst #writing #my writing #fic rec #ashton rec #angst fanfic #Ashton angst

[talkfastromance4]

Emotions--Ashton Irwin oneshot

very self-indulgent fic and this song always makes me feel some type of way when I'm feeling all the feelings.

warnings: drug use, drug mention, gummies, weed and smoking mention, lots of feelings, underlying anger

Masterlist

word count: 2k

Feedback is always welcome and reblogs help spread my work!

Enjoy!

*****

She doesn’t like feeling this way, like a ticking time bomb waiting to implode but when it’s one thing after another after another after another–she feels the breakdown quaking in her bones. It could be something small that finally sets her off or something very grand that will make the destruction worse. 

All she wants is someone to know when she’s in this danger zone and help her out, her defense mechanism will be to deny any help but that extra push will do it. Force her to open up. Pop the cork and let her spill everything she’s been feeling–or not feeling–out in the open. 

She hates feeling broken and not knowing why then on the other hand she hates knowing why she feels broken but doesn’t know exactly how to fix it. She sits in her emotions trying to focus on one but they’re on a constant carousel that just keeps spinning and shows no sign of stopping. It makes her dizzy, all of these emotions, but no one seems to notice.

Except Ashton. He notices everything. 

So that’s why on Friday when she walks in the room he can tell she’s on edge, she’s buzzing with it, her eyes are wide and bright with the edge she’s trying so hard not to fall from. She masks it well with a smile as she says hello to others. It’s damn near camouflage from the jokes she tells and invisible in her laugh. 

But not to him. 

So when he finally heads her way by the drink table, he ducks down by her ear to say,

“I know you’re feeling some type of way, so when you’re ready, come find me, yeah?”

She turns to look up at him, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

“What? How do you know–?”

“I can tell,” he takes her drink bottle and twists it open, the fizz hissing on them both. “You don’t have to go through it alone. Just find me.”

He hands her her drink then walks away, his boots clicking on the concrete and she stares after him. What did he mean he could tell? No one could tell. She’s perfected this mask for so long there’s no way someone would be able to see past it.

It’s Sunday when they’re together again and now she has a vacant look in her eyes. Something else has triggered her and it makes Ashton nervous to see her so visibly shook by it. She’s not paying attention to those around her, staring off into space and it isn’t until he gets closer that he sees how blown her pupils are. 

Not being shy of smoking weed himself, he has no judgment, they’ve even gotten high a few times together but this time is different. Usually she’s more giggly and sleepy when she smokes but this…this is making her all wrong. 

He sees it before it’s about to happen but he’s too late to offer any aid when she bumps into the table and knocks over the punch bowl. The red liquid splashes onto her legs and shoes turning her white shoes pink. There’s a stunned silence and she just stares down at the chaos she caused before running away and slamming right into Ashton. 

“It’s okay, come with me,” he says in her hair. His arms are tight around her as he lifts her effortlessly off the ground and carries her inside. 

The chatter starts up again outside and she’s shaking like a leaf against him, her fingers pinching his biceps through his shirt. They’re in the kitchen, far enough away from the crowd outside and he sets her down on the counter, she curves into herself with her hands hiding herself away from Ashton’s eyes. 

“y/n, look at me,” he murmurs trying to pry her hands from her face. She shakes her head vehemently and he can see some punch is on her fingers. “y/n, it’s okay it was an accident. Let me take your shoes off so you’re not so sticky.”

He bends down to peel off her sneakers then sees her toes are painted a pretty pink. He unravels the roll of paper towel, runs a portion of it under the sink then starts to clean up her legs. The punch splattered up her shins and knees, even a few splotches on her thighs. 

“I ruined everything,” she whispers. 

“You didn’t ruin a thing,” he shakes his head then glances at her sneakers, “well, except your sneakers.”

That earns a small chuckle from her, the sound is so sweet and broken Ashton turns to the noise but she’s still hidden behind her hands. He uses the opposite end of the towel clump to dry her off. 

“How much did you smoke before you got here?” he asks.

“How do you know?”

“Your eyes.”

“I didn’t smoke it…”

“A gummy?” he inquires nonchalantly. He doesn’t want you to think he’s judging because that might make you paranoid and scared. 

“Yeah. A full one. I don’t know the dosage.”

“Was it from Gage?” he asks and she nods peeking through his fingers. “Then it was a lot. And you drove here?”

“I’m so stupid–”

“Stop it,” he tosses the towels in the garbage then leans on the counter over her. He tries to move her hands away and this time she lets him. Her mascara is smudged, the whites of her eyes are bloodshot. “I’ll drive you home, where are your keys?”

“My bag is outside,” she sniffs.

“I’ll be right back. Stay put,” he squeezes her knee then heads back outside. He’s swarmed by people asking if she’s okay and he simply says he’s taking her home. When he comes back inside she’s slumped against the cabinets, her cheeks framed by her hands as she stares unblinkingly at the floor. 

“My lips feel fuzzy,” she mumbles.

“I bet they do. Ready to go? Can you carry your shoes?” 

She hums a yes and hops down the counter but stumbles into Ashton. He steadies her, slings her bag over his shoulder and guides her out the front door. He helps her in the passenger side, making sure she’s buckled. 

Ashton keeps glancing her direction on the drive, he can see how sleepy she’s becoming even though her eyes are darting at the palm trees on the side of the road. She’s gnawing on her lip in a worrisome way. 

“Are you hungry at all?” he asks.

“I want ice cream with sprinkles. And cheese fries.”

“Okay,” he smiles then turns into a fast food drive-thru. 

When they get their food she tries to open up the cheese cup.

“No, no, no, you might spill and I know you don’t want melted cheese in your car.”

“But Ash!” she whines and pulls out two pieces of fries. She pops them in her mouth.

“Don’t eat them all or you’ll be very sad when we get home,” he warns. She snuck one more fry before rolling up the bag and sitting nicely against her seat. 

They end up watching a movie while they eat their fries and shakes. She does a little happy dance each time she has a fry dipped in cheese. 

“How’re you feeling?” he asks as the credits roll and she’s somehow found her way into his lap. He’s been petting her hair, letting his fingers thread through the strands for the last twenty-five minutes, her eyes becoming heavier.

“Kinda broken.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not yet. I need a little time yet, I think,” she sighs.

“Okay.” 

“Time…time…can we watch Back to the Future?”

She was out like a light in the first ten minutes.

On Tuesday he texted her asking if she had any plans and she said no so he swung by to pick her up. She badgered him the whole time wondering where they were going but he wouldn’t budge. She was still confused when they arrived at the building then she heard glass shattering down one of the halls. 

“Welcome to the Breaking Place,” a bubbly teen with bright pink hair said. “Are we here for a breakup, loss of job?”

“We’re here for feeling all the feelings and not knowing what to do with them,” Ashton says.

“Perfect. What’s your weapon of choice? Sledgehammer, bat, or fire poker?”

“I’ll do a sledgehammer, what about you, y/n?” Ashton asks and you’re staring at the girl in surprise.

“You brought me to a break room?” she whispers.

“Yeah. You’re feeling broken so why not break other stuff? Let all the emotions out. Choose your weapon, babe.”

She thinks it over for a second.

“Give me a bat.”

While they got dressed in the suits, pulled on gloves and goggles they listened to the teen explain the rules. Protective gear needs to be on at all times unless weapons of destruction are out of the hands. You can smash plates on the floor but not the wall. You can scream and shout and yell and cry as loud as you want. 

Upon entering the room there were piles of plates on a worn table, multiple TVs, windows leaning against other tables, small lockers that have some dents in them and a glass cabinet.

“Have fun!” the teen sang and shut the door. 

“What do you want to hit first?” Ashton asks, adjusting his goggles. 

“The plates first, so I can get a feel of it.”

“Go for it.”

He watches her walk hesitantly towards the plates, her gloved finger circles the circumference before picking it up. It has a cheap design around the edges and then she slams it to the ground. It shatters and she smiles. She does another one then another one until she takes one in each hand and destroys them in tandem. When all the plates are broken she moves to one of the TVs.

She lifts the bat and swings hard right in the center. It concaves and broken pieces fall to the ground. Ashton watches her whack and smack at it some more, each thrust more powerful. Soon she’s screaming as she smashes and bats at the wood. Ashton watches as she destroys everything in the room, using all her might, all her strength until she becomes visibly drained.

Ashton drops his hammer the same time you let out a loud wail, the bat falling from her grip and rolling on the floor. The glass cracks under his feet as he goes to her and she slams into his chest. The sobs finally come forward and he holds her tightly. 

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs then pulls the hood down and removes her goggles. His thumbs rub at her tears. “I’ve always got you, okay? I know you hurt sometimes and feel like you have no one but you’ve always got me.”

You nod meekly in his hold.

“There’s so much going on and so much to remember…I don’t know what to do first.”

“Let’s write it all down and go through it together.”

“Some of it is from work–”

“I’ll help as much as I can. You aren’t alone. The guys will help out, too. You have no idea how many people love you, y/n.”

“My problems are so miniscule to theirs–”

“That’s your brain tricking you,” he shakes his head. 

“It’s hard to ask for help.”

“I know, and I know it’s because of your dad. He made you feel like a burden and got angry when you asked for help but that’s never going to be an issue with me. You call me whenever, wherever, no matter the time.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” she shakes her head.

“What if we come up with a safe word? When you’re feeling too close to the edge, text it and I’ll come running.”

“Could it be a song?”

“Whatever you want,” he nods.

“Can it be your song? Emotions? It says exactly what I feel.”

“It’s perfect.”

“Thanks for everything, Ash.”

“Anytime,” he smiles and kisses her forehead.

____________________

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[wildfl0wer-meg]

Tonight’s About You, Baby Boy - poly!cashton

i made a similar fic to this a while ago called “Secrets” and it’s poly!cake. I also wrote this months ago and it's just sat in my drafts. Anyway....

warnings: oral (male giving/ male receiving, afab receiving), m/m, m/nb. cursing, semi-public sexual situations, unprotected sex in a relationship, light power dynamics, nicotine use, mentions of smoking weed.

Calum Hood x Ashton Irwin x nb!OC

word count: 2.6k

————

Ashton’s eyes flash over to Calum for what seems like the thousandth time. Calum was lying back on the couch, his bass in hand as he lazily attempts to come up with his part for their newest WIP.

Ashton just couldn’t seem to focus on his work today. He wasn’t sure what it was but Calum was stealing all of his attention.

“Cal,” he calls over finally, his boyfriend looks at him questioningly, as does Luke and Michael. Ashton swallows trying to find what to say. “Uh— do you think you could help me with something real quick?” he asks, mouth going dry, and Calum raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk appearing on his lips.

“Sure,” Calum chuckles and sits up. Everyone looks at Ashton questioningly and he’s quick to figure himself out.

“It’s not related to the song, I just need to figure out what I’m doing for Eve for our anniversary coming up…” he says, “I have a couple ideas but can you help me real quick?”

Calum holds back a laugh, Ashton already had figured out what he was doing for his and Eve’s anniversary, him and Calum had stayed up all night a few weeks ago planning a short trip to the mountains, just the three of them, and they’d even went as far as to plan a fake trip for Calum so it wasn’t suspicious to anyone.

“Yeah but let’s not bother them,” Calum says and stands up, stretching his arms over his head and Ashton’s eyes flash to the section of Calum’s stomach and hip that’s revealed when his shirt rises.

Ashton leads the way out of the studio, Luke and Michael both awkwardly laughing in confusion as the two leave, and as soon as their out Calum turns to his boyfriend, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“You’re so full of shit, you know that?“ he asks and leads them into the family bathroom, locking the door behind them.

“Im sorry but you just look so good today,” Ashton smirks, his hands gluing themselves to Calum’s arms that are exposed by his ripped muscle tee. Calum bites his lip and leans against the sink as Ashton pushes into him and connects their lips.

Their relationship had been official for almost a year. It started as a hookup, Ashton and his partner Eve had invited Calum over to hang out one night, as they did many times. After one too many drinks and some heavy flirting from the couple who (little to Calum’s knowledge) had discussed a threesome with Calum many times, Calum found himself in their bed, making out with both of them.

It took four more hookups for them to decide that they liked each other more than just friends with benefits and so their relationship began.

Calum’s hands sneak under Ashton’s shirt, holding onto his sides as he deepens the kiss and he lightly grinds up against his boyfriend who pulls away and smirks.

“How long do you think we have before they look for us?” Ashton asks, glancing at the closed door and Calum smiles, slowly sinking to his knees in front of him.

“Long enough for me to blow you,” he says, and Ashton lets out a shaky breath and switches their places so he can grip onto the sink for stability as Calum unzips his pants and pulls him out.

Calum quickly gets to work. His mouth wrapping around Ashton as he bobs his head and sucks lightly. He opens his eyes and looks up at the man who groans when he sees him.

Ashton reaches down to softly run his fingers through Calum’s hair, and when the man on his knees relaxes his throat to get Ashton down as far as he can, Ashton’s grip tightens as he lightly pulls and Calum moans, the vibrations rushing up Ashton.

“Cal–“ he moans, “I’m gonna…” He cuts himself off with a soft groan when Calum speeds up, wrapping his hand around the base of his older man’s cock as he focuses on the tip.

Ashton’s grip tightens once again when he releases, Head falling back and a groan leaving his mouth. Calum swallows his load and sits back his legs to catch his breath. Ashton does the same while leaning against the sink and when he finally recovers he reaches down to fix his boyfriend’s hair and help him up.

“You okay?” he asks, while pulling him in for a hug. Calum nods, leaning his head on Ashton’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away.

Ashton looks between them at Calum cock straining against his jeans and chuckles. “Want me to help?” he asks and Calum shakes his head,

“We need to get back in there,” he says, “Maybe you’ll be able to focus on the song now,” his teasing grin makes Ashton roll his eyes.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight, okay?” he cups Calum’s face and Calum smiles and nods, he knows Ashton means it, and he also knows that means Eve will be there as well.

Ashton goes back first. “Calum stopped at the restroom,” he says and sits back down.

“Did you figure out the present?” Luke asks and Ashton nods,

“Yeah, I think i’m taking them on a trip,” Ashton says, “Now i just need to figure out when,”

Calum walks back in, sending Ashton a teasing grin before he sits down,

“Cal said he’s planning on going on a small trip the week of our anniversary so we might go then so that’s only a week we’re not all together,”

Luke and Michael both nod in agreement and the room goes back to silence, the only noise being their instruments and Luke’s occasional hum.

——

Calum walks into the house first. He rubs his face as he enters, a smile filling his face when Duke runs over to him. “hey bubba,” he smiles and falls to his knees to pet his dog.

Eve hears the door open and hurries down the stairs to find their boyfriends. “hey!” they smile and Calum stands up to catch them in a hug.

“You have a long day today?” Eve asks and Calum nods with a small chuckle.

“Ask our boyfriend what we did today,” he says and as if on cue, Ashton walks in. Eve looks at their other boyfriend who raises an eyebrow,

“What?” he asks, eyes flashing to Calum, and Calum smirks.

“What did you guys do today?” Eve asks, completely lost as their boyfriends exchange a look and the tension in the room builds.

“Ash was being horny all day,” Calum chuckles, “made up an excuse for us to leave the studio so i could blow him,”

Eve laughs, looking at Ashton who just smiles at the acquisition and surrenders his hands in the air.

“I mean look at him,” he motions to Calum, “how am i supposed to focus on my work when this fucking god is sitting next to me,”

Calum blushes, and Eve just giggles. “So did you return the favor, Ash?” they ask and Ashton smirks,

“No, i was wanting some help with that,” he walks past his partners and into the kitchen where he gets a cup of water. Caulk steps back to admire Eve.

They were only wearing one of Calum’s oversized shirts, and he would bet on them not wearing shorts under it, they never were. His hand find their waist and they take a breath.

“You’re gonna be good for me?” he asks but it’s more of a command, Eve nods, eyes wide and innocent. Ashton watches them, and finally speaks up when they just stare at each other for a moment too long.

“What do you want, Cal?” he asks from across the room, and the man swallows as he processes the question in his head. His eyes flash to Ashton as he licks his lips.

“I wanna go to our room,” he says and Ashton nods, motioning for him to go, which he does after grabbing Eve’s hand to drag them along.

Ashton’s always in charge, even if he’s not actively taking part in the moment. Calum doesn’t always admit it, matter of fact it’s one of the biggest things him and Ashton tease each other over, but when it comes down to it, Calum needs Ashton to lead him and Ashton is happy to do it.

Ashton follows them upstairs and smiles when he sees Calum with Eve pinned under him. His lips are on their neck and their eyes are closed as Calum leaves a few marks.

Ashton watches them as he sheds his shirt and climbs onto the bed. He sits up on his knees and lets his hand wander under Calum’s shirt. he gently scrapes his nails on the man’s hot skin and Calum slowly sits up, letting Ashton take off his shirt before connecting their lips.

Eve opens their eyes to watch their boyfriends slowly make out. Ashton’s hand goes down Calum’s pants and gropes him, making the younger man moan into his mouth.

“Tonight’s all about you, baby boy,” Ashton says as he pulls away. Calum would normally pretend to hate the pet name, but he doesn’t fight it as he turns back to Eve and tug at their shirt before helping them sit up and take it off.

His eyes fall to look at the skinny silver bars going through their nipples, he bites his lips, that’s one thing he’ll never get tired of seeing.

His hands slowly trail down their body until they reach the band of their panties and he slowly takes them off, sliding them down their legs before getting between them. He smirks up at them after kissing their thighs, lips ghosting over where they need him the most.

Calum’s knows he’s good with his mouth. No matter what he knows that he can never let anyone down with head, and it’s just a bonus that he enjoys it.

Ashton sits back to watch as Calum dives in. Eve’s head rolls back and they moan out, hand shooting to the man’s hair.

After a moment they open their eyes and they make contact with Ashton who palms himself through his pants. “Tell Calum that he’s making you feel good,” Ashton demands, and Calum looks up at Eve as he slows.

“Fuck Cal,” Eve moans, “You feel so good, i’m gonna cum,”

Calum smirks as pulls up for just long enough to mumble, “want you to come on my tongue,” and he goes back in.

It���s not long before they are. They let out a loud moan of Calum’s name as they cum, eyes squeezing shut and toes curling. Calum continues to eat them out, waiting until they’re flinching at his touch before pulling away.

He sits up, out of breath and Ashton connects their lips again. He moans at the taste of Eve in Calum’s lips and reaches down to slowly stroke Calum.

“How do you want to get off?” he asks, and Calum glances at Eve.

“Can you handle me fucking you, baby?” he asks, and Eve nods quickly, eyes desperate.

“Please,” they beg and Calum turns to Ashton.

“Can i help you out?” he asks and Ashton rolls his eyes,

“Stop worrying about me,” he chuckles, “i what to see you cum in them,”

Ashton doesn’t have to ask twice and Calum is stripping off his pants and lining himself up with Eve, slowly pushing in.

Ashton takes off his own pants before stroking himself. He paces himself at Calum’s speed as he watches.

Calum moans when Eve tightens around him as he bottoms out. He leans forward, keeping himself propped up with his hands on either side of his partner. He connects their lips, taking advantage of their moans to explore they’re mouth. He doesn’t take long to feel his climax nearing and he quickens his pace.

“–gonna,” he’s cut off by his own pants and soon his releasing into Eve. He rests his head on their chest as he stills, breaths heavy as he recovers for a moment before pulling out.

Calum falls to the side just in time to watch Ashton cum into his hand and he smiles goofily.

Eve rolls over to cuddle into their boyfriend and Calum happily pulls them into his chest. Ashton goes into the connected bathroom and come back with a couple wash cloths for them to clean up.

“I need a smoke,” Calum mumbles to his partners after he’s cleaned up and puts on a pair of pajama pants,

He reaches into his jeans from earlier to pull out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Ashton kisses his forehead as he passes by. “I can start on dinner,” he says and Eve lies in bed watching them.

“I’ll find a movie?” they suggest and Calum smirks,

“Pack a blunt for us?” he asks and they happily nod watching as their boyfriends leave the room.

Calum walks outside to the front porch and sits on the steps before lighting the smoke. He breathes in the nicotine and closes his eyes to enjoy the burn in his lungs.

“Calum?” the voice snaps him out of his head and he opens his eyes to see Michael. The blond haired man looks at him confused.

“Why’re you here?” he asks and Calum stutters,

“Uh– I’m just– Um Ash invited me over to go over a few other things,” he curses himself for the poor excuse as he stares at his friend. He takes a moment to look down at himself. His shirtless chest, and baggy pajamas pants, it’s obvious he’s not just hanging out.

Michael just stares at him, “What?” he asks as if he didn’t hear what he said and the front door opens, Ashton walking out looking in the same condition as Calum.

“Babe–“ Ashton starts but he freezes when he sees Michael and his heart drops.

His eyes flash to his boyfriend who looks like he’s about to cry as his cigarette burns out in his hand.

“What is happening?” Michael asks and Ashton sighs, opening the door wider,

“Just come in,” he says, defeated and Calum stands up as well, putting out his cigarette he barely smoke to follow them inside.

Eve is on the couch, a mango zipzag in hand doing as they were told. Their eyes go wide when they see Michael and quickly grabs the blanket on the back on the couch to make sure they’re covered since they’re only wearing Ashton’s shirt he had on earlier.

“You guys are having a smoke session together?” Michael asks confused and Calum bites his lips trying to figure out if they should lie or not as he glances over at Ashton,

“Maybe we should call Luke?” Ashton suggest and Michael nods his head slowly as he tries to connect the dots.

——

“A year!?” Luke shouts and Calum chuckles awkwardly, “You’ve hid this for a year? Did you think we’d be mad?”

“We didn’t want you to think it’d affect the band,” Ashton tries to explain. Michael’s eyes bounce between the three of them before he shakes his head,

“How did you manage to keep it secret?” he asks finally,

“Lots of make out sessions in bathrooms,” Calum says and Ashton elbows him as the younger man laughs.

Michael raises an eyebrow, “So today….” he trails off and Ashton nods,

“Yeah…” he chuckles awkwardly.

“I wish you would of told us!” Luke sighs, “We’ve been teasing Calum for months when he shows up late with new hickies and sex hair, we would’ve made fun of you too if we knew you were part of that,”

Ashton rolls his eyes and glances at his boyfriend. Michael shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m happy for you,” he finally says and Luke nods in agreement.

They share a laugh before silence falls between them so they can take in the information.

“Wait,” Luke says, “Wildflower about this fucker?” he motions to Ashton and Calum’s cheeks turn red as he looks away.

“Oh my god!” Michael yells and they laugh harder as they continue to connect the dots for their relationship and how they’ve hid it for a year.

————

A/N:

hi, i’m back

i’ve fell back into my 5sos phase for the 5835295th time

anyways send me requests and maybe i’ll get around to them sometime :)

#so queuet #5sos #ashton irwin #cashton #calum hood #bi!cashton #bi!calum #bi!ashton #5sos pride #calum fic #calum hood fic #ashton fic #ashton irwin fic #calum hood x ashton irwin #poly!cashton #nb!character #ashton irwin x nb!character #calum hood x nb!character #wildfl0wer meg writes

[calturnstogold]

hello! apologies for being super inactive recently! I have a week's break from school now so I hope & promise that I'll be posting some stuff soon! love to you all!

(also we're like 10 followers away from 100!!!)

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #5sos imagine #calum hood #5sos blurb #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford #ashton fluff #bestfriend!calum #calum imagine #calum 5sos #calum fluff #calum smut #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton fic #ashton imagine #ashton 5sos #luke headcanons #luke fluff #luke blurb #luke robert hemmings #michael fluff #micheal clifford #michael 5sos #michael 5 seconds of summer

[secondstarfanfics]

So I should write this? Please comment Yes or no.

#ashton 5sos #ashton fic #ashton irwin writing #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfiction

[valentiyne]

𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 716 ❀ 𝗅𝗎𝗄𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗆𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌

Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader Summary: Paper-thin walls and numerous noise complaints.

FULL BOOK: MIDNIGHT | L.R.H Warnings: None! Slight swearing if you squint hard enough Word Count: 2.8k Copyright © 2023 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

Game Night was hosted every third Friday of the month. Cramped in the new tiny apartment, 7 friends and their significant others wound up on my shitty couch shouting nonsense at each other.

The living room consisted of the old couch, my TV on top of a cardboard box I hadn't quite unpacked yet, and numerous card games.

Holding the slip in my hand, I eye the timer in front of me on the makeshift coffee table My eyes scanned the paper quickly before jumping up and snapping my fingers, "Okay okay, it's born in the water but moves onto land when older."

My friends stare at me dumbfounded, their minds elsewhere as I furrow my brows and tap my feet numerous times. "Come on guys, it's what a tadpole turns into when it's older!" I'm practically yelling now, eyes darting between my friends sitting down and the tiny timer on the table.

"A baby turtle?"

"Andddd time"

I groan in annoyance, dropping the slip of paper while walking back to the spot on the couch, and plopping down with a huff.

"A baby turtle? Seriously?' I scoff, rolling my eyes at my friends who couldn't contain their laughter at my obvious annoyance.

"Okay I'll go nex-", My friend Abby was cut short by a knock on the door. It wasn't necessarily a pound, but it definitely made all of us go silent.

We all look at each other quickly, almost mentally counting everyone to make sure it wasn't an expected visitor.

I slide off the couch, my eyebrows raised for a moment before I walk towards the door. Standing on my tiptoes, I look through the peephole to see my next-door neighbor, Lucas, standing there with an annoyed expression painted on his face. I sigh and unlock the door, poking my head out with a smile.

"Are we too loud?", I ask with innocent eyes, my bottom lip tugged into my teeth as I speak quietly. Lucas gave a friendly smile, his eyebags hidden behind his eyeglasses as he turned to point at his door, "I know it's a Friday night but I'm really busy in the studio tonight... kind of hard to concentrate when there's a bunch of girls next door squealing over....?"

I finish the sentence for him, "If tadpoles are baby turtles." I rub the back of my neck shyly, laughing almost to myself.

"Right yeah, is there any way to keep it down just a tad?"

I give him a thumbs up before we part ways- him rubbing his eyes and kicking his door shut with his bare foot and me turning around and closing it softly. My friends all huddled up behind the door, eavesdropping on our conversation, and as soon as the door shut, they all squealed quietly.

"Oh my gosh! Y/n!", My friend Abby gushing, nudging me with her shoulder harshly. "You never told me you have huge chemistry with your neighbor?"

My eyes grow wide and my hands shoot up in defense, "Oh no- Lucas? He's just a neighbor"

All of my friends' eyes were on me now, and an awkward silence fell upon us. I give a mere shrug before walking back over to the coffee table to scoop up all the cards spawled across it.

"Game night at mine next time?", Abby asks from beside me, picking up the numerous cups with mysterious liquids in them with a disgusted look on her face.

I just nod in response, shoving the cards in their rightful places before sighing softly. We said our goodbyes with platonic kisses on the cheeks and dramatic waves before I was left alone in my apartment again.

It was cold, empty, and dead silent in here- completely opposite of the neighbor beside me I'd assume. My bedroom was similar to the living room- a tiny mattress rested on the floor and my toiletries were packed away in numerous boxes I was too lazy to unbox. My head hits the stiff pillow below me and I could hear Lucas in his bedroom strumming his guitar, humming to himself lowly.

It was a little after one o'clock in the morning, but he seemed to be wide awake singing.

"some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard"

It had officially been two weeks since the game night and two weeks since he came to my door. Lucas and I would occasionally make eye contact on the way to the mailboxes or even hold the elevator for one another- but not a single word was shared between us. He was always in his own world, his head bobbing to an imaginary beat inside his head.

Every night I could hear him singing to himself softly, the wall dividing our bedrooms was as thin as paper. The occasional groan and the sound of notebooks hitting the wall distracted me on nights I needed to sleep, but I never once said anything to him. He was a musician- and a very good one to say the least. I didn't want to be the annoying next-door neighbor.

I swing my door open, looking out into the hallway and scanning each door before finally averting my eyes to his own. The wrench in one hand was held on with a tight grip while the other hand carried the TV mount at my side. I could hear the sounds of various instruments being played from behind his door, his voice clearing every few moments to restart a lyric if it didn't sound right the first time.

The hand that held the wrench swung up, knocking on his door a few times before I took a step back and awkwardly looked around the hallway once again. The sounds from behind his door abruptly stopped and I could hear his heavy footsteps making their way towards the door now. Taking one more step back, I watched as Lucas opened the door and looked down at me,

"I'm sorry, am I being too loud?", He cheekily asked, a smile painted on his lips.

"No no, you're fine.", I laugh at his innocent teasing, quoting our most recent encounter. "I was actually coming over to see if you knew how to mount a TV", I poke my head around his figure and motion towards his apartment, "but seeing as you're busy-"

"I'm not busy." He corrects me, leaning inside his door to grab his keys before turning back towards me and grabbing the box from my hand. "Let me help you out, it'll take 10 minutes tops."

It didn't take 10 minutes. Hell, It didn't even take 30 minutes.

There Lucas and I both were, tools of various shapes and sizes sprawled out across my apartment floor and a cheap bottle of wine I found at the back of my fridge.

"Lucas are you sure you know how to-"

"It's Luke and yes, I know how to do this", he grumbles nonsense to himself as he flips through the instruction manual for the third time tonight. I sighed to myself slightly, trying to keep myself from laughing by taking a swig of the wine.

"Could always just use thumbtacks"

This makes Luke laugh, his eyebrows relaxing on his face and cheeks going bright red. He tosses the manual at me, and I put my hands up to defend myself.

"I'm pretty sure some thumbtacks couldnt hold a 35 pound Tv," He holds his stomach as he rolls around my floor, laughing loudly. I roll my eyes at this, groaning and tossing the screwdriver on the floor.

"Look, it's getting late. I'll just have you come over and do it another time.", I point towards the clock, which was held up with thumbtacks, that read two o'clock in the morning.

"Oh shit, sorry I totally spaced it," Luke stands up now, gathering up his tools quickly and giving me a crooked smile. "I'll swing by sometime this week to help you, I promise." I'm smiling now, shooing him out the door quickly.

"Yeah yeah see you later, rockstar", I tease and close the door abruptly, only to be stopped by a foot in the way.

"What are you doing tomorrow?", The way his eyes glimmered in the hallway light, his hair slicked back from sweat and cheeky dimples appeared as he smiled at me.

"I have finals tomorrow morning, and I'll probably be dead by the time its over- anytime after that I'm free.", I groan dramatically and push my palm into my forehead.

Luke just nods, freeing his foot from the doorway, and gives me a thumbs up, "I'll be sure to be quiet tonight so you can get your rest." I thank him kindly and give him a soft wave before closing the door behind him.

Luke was anything but quiet. I tossed and turned throughout the night, pushing the pillow closer to my ears as I heard him attempting to sing a lyric he wasn't even finished with. if there's one thing I've learned about him in the month and a half I've known him- he was a perfectionist. He sang the same things over and over countless times making sure it was absolutely perfect.

"Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted-"

I swing my arm up, smacking on the wall a couple times before groaning and letting it fall to my side once again. His side of the wall went silent immediately, the shuffling of papers and a small mumbled "sorry" was heard.

Luke had avoided me from that point forward: he didn't hold the elevator for me nor did he come and check his overflowing mailbox.

I found myself at his door once again, knocking in one swift movement before clearing my throat. I could hear him shuffling around his apartment, a loud thud followed by a "shit, one second!".

The door opens and a dripping-wet Luke is before me, a towel tightly wrapped around his waist. I blink a few times, holding my gaze above his shoulders out of respect.

"Why are you avoiding me", I ask in a monotone voice, cutting straight to the point. He raises his eyebrows at this now, one hand sassily on his hip.

"Who said I was avoiding you?", He chuckles lightly and opens the door wider, motioning for me to enter. My nose is filled with the smell of the oven baking something sweet mixed with his charcoal body wash. I step inside with a smile, closing the door behind me.

Luke wipes the water from his face and turns away from me, entering his bathroom for a split second, leaving me standing in his kitchen.

I glance around his living room: Pictures of his friends and family are hung up neatly on the wall, his instruments are laid out on the floor around his couch, and his bookshelf is overflowing with numerous copies of musical books.

He emerges from the bathroom once again, now clothed in a sweatshirt and basketball shorts and the towel that was once wrapped around his waist was now encased in his curls.

"I was just going to invite you over actually," He laughs again, flashing me his million-dollar smile before pointing at his dining table. It was decorated with a lace tablecloth, a small bouquet of flowers sitting in a glass-decorated vase, and a plate of steaming hot pasta was laid out. I smile to myself slightly, looking back up at him before taking my seat at the table, he rushes forward, scooting my chair in for me before taking his own seat across from me.

"What's the occasion?" I ask while picking up my fork, poking at the seafood pasta that was professionally plated. If you would've told me he hired a chef to make dinner- I would've believed you.

"I was loud on the night of your finals and I felt horrible knowing I kept you up all night", He picks up his napkin and places it neatly on his lap, "I wanted to make it up to you after I mounted your TV buttt you showed up a little early", He teases.

I take a bite of my food, groaning into the fork with a muffled giggle as my eyes look up at his. The food was amazing, and the flavor was intricately picked out to perfection.

Going back, this perfectly proved my point that Luke was a perfectionist.

We found small talk, conversing over what I was majoring in and what he was busy working on.

"So the album is almost done, I just need to finish this last song," He shrugs his shoulders and scrapes at the remains off his plate. I smile to myself, looking up now with innocent eyes, "Maybe I can help?"

He stands up abruptly, turning around and opening the oven to reveal the freshly baked brownies he had made- from scratch may I add. I groan in anticipation and rub my hands together dramatically. He grabs the brownies with oven mitts, turning around and facing me.

"If you want to help me, I'll allow it", he laughs and places the pan down gently and walks towards his living room, picking up a notebook that was previously thrown across the room.

"Here", he places it in front of me, removing my empty plate and walking

The notebook was written in barely eligible handwriting, with numerous words crossed out and mental notes scribbled on the sides.

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard so if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word. when the doors are all closing.....It's bound to get ?? all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to

The rest of the page was scribbled out, lyrics that never made the cut. I snatch the pen from the metal spiral holding the pages together and click it once.

"it's bound to get.... loud?" I scribble it down next to the question marks and look up at him, scratching his chin with a nod. His cheeks were red now, the wine flushing through his body.

"What rhymes with loud?"

I look up at him now, as he scoots his chair right up next to me to the point our legs are touching.

"Cloud, hmmm,"

"Sound," we both say in unison.

Luke claps his hands together and grabs the pen from my hands, opening the notebook to a new page and scribbling down the new and improved lyrics. I watch him closely, the way his eyes twinkled and dimples poked through when he was concentrating.

I was so screwed. I was falling for my next door neighbor.

I didn't see him for another two weeks, his side of the wall seemed eerily vacant and completely silent. I even knocked a few times in hopes he'd knock back in some sort of rhythm, but there was no response.

Hearing the knock on my door shot my body out of bed, sweat dripping down my neck and sides. I groan and tap on my phone to check the time, blinding myself in the process. The pounding never stopped, not until I stumbled out of bed and opened my door. My heart skipped a beat, praying that the blonde would be on the other side with that cheeky smile I adored.

"Hello?", I ask in a groggy voice whilst rubbing my eyes and squinting up at the person who disturbed my slumber- at 2 a.m. may I add.

Instead of a person, I was met with an empty cold hallway. I avert my gaze down and towards my door mat. There, set up neatly was a bouquet of flowers with a note tied to the front with white lace.

I smile at myself and crouch down, picking up the thoughtful gift and looking down the hallway one last time before kicking my door shut.

Y/n,

I'm sorry I didn't see you before I left. Our album releases at 2:30am today and I was supposed to leave at 2... I just knew I had to leave you something on my way out. I hope you like the flowers I picked out my mom helped me.

I'd have probably sent you the link to the album by the time you finish reading this note.

I'm going to be all over the world, touring and doing what I love. I can't wait to be back home and see you again, i'll make sure to facetime every change I get.

love,

your rockstar

I could hear the familiar ringtone from my bedroom, alerting me that Luke was a man of his word. I wipe a few stray tears and make my way to the bedroom, snatching my phone up with my free hand and clicking the link he had sent me.

This is the song I spent the last 3 months working on, keeping you tossing and turning until finally you perfected it.

Mp3.ifwallscouldtalk.demo

#5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings #5sos #ashton 5sos #calum 5sos #calum hood #luke hemmings x reader #michael clifford #calum hood fanfic #luke x reader #luke hemming imagines #luke 5sos #5 secs of summer #ashton irwin fic #5sos fic #five seconds of summer #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos #michael clifford imagine #ashton irwin x reader #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum smut #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford fanfic #michael clifford smut #luke hemmings x y/n #five seconds of summer fic

[bratzforchris]

Billionaire Baby

❃

Summary: In which Luke pays off your tuition in full and only asks for one thing in return

Pairing: Sugar daddy and investment banker!Luke x sub!reader

Warnings: Smut, dom/sub dynamics, nonsexual submission, overstimulation, jacuzzi fucking, doggy style, mentions of free use, unprotected p in v, fingering, underage drinking given to reader by Luke, sugar daddy mentions, student (university/18+) x older male relationship, bondage, Luke has an obedience kink, overall really fucking filthy and a bit fluffy ;)

Word Count: 5.1k

A/N: Luke leans more towards boyfriend instead of sugar daddy than I originally planned, but I still adore this work anyway. I put my heart and soul into this piece, so reblogs are much appreciated :)!

DNI under 18

❃

“What the fuck…” You mumbled, scrolling through your email. 

You were sitting in the library, trying to study for your upcoming biochem exam, but failing a bit. You were getting distracted by everything, hence why you were scrolling through your email on your laptop instead of studying. The email was from two hours ago and it was asking you to come to the dean’s office today at three for a meeting. 

You began to panic a bit, wondering why on earth the dean wanted to have a meeting with you. You had never, ever been in trouble academically or ever, for that matter. You were a bit behind on your loan payments, but not so much they were rescinding your admission, right? You cursed when you realized that it was currently two-thirty, and the dean’s office was on the other side of campus. 

Quickly shoving your laptop, books, and stationery into your bookbag, you hurried out of the library that you loved oh-so-dearly. Going to Columbia University had been your dream since second grade, and that day that you saw the main library on your tour in tenth grade just confirmed that this was the school for you. 

You slowed your pace a bit when you got closer to the building, taking a moment to soak in the crisp, fall air and the splotches of autumn that decorated the New York City sidewalks. You pulled your cardigan tighter around yourself and hurried up the steps of the School of Professional Studies. 

“Hi,” You whispered quietly to the lady at the front desk as you signed in. 

“Oh, it’s you,” she said, eyeing you up and down. “You’re a very lucky girl.” she winked. 

You furrowed your brow, wanting to ask what she meant, but not wanting to be rude. You eventually just shook your head and sat down in the lobby while you waited to be called back. This was a huge school, full of children of the rich and famous. She must’ve had you confused with someone else. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the dean asked, walking out into the lobby. “Follow me.”

You quickly picked up your backpack and followed him, deep into the building where his office was sat. You struggled a bit to keep up with his long strides, being a bit out of breath when you finally reached his office. 

“Take a seat,” he said not unkindly, opening the door for you. “This will be quick.”

You took a tentative seat on one of the down chairs on the opposite side of the desk, trying to control your breathing. You were afraid your features would show your fear, so you tried to keep your face even. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, you are extremely lucky…” he started. “Your tuition has been paid in full by an anonymous donor, to include everything you will need to complete your undergraduate degree.” he smiled. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying to stay polite, but also wanting to know what the fuck was going on. 

“Someone has paid your tuition in full. Do you have any idea who it could be?”

“I…no…” You said, hoping the blush wouldn’t creep onto your cheeks. 

You knew exactly who it was. There was only one person in your life that had that much money. Ivy League schooling wasn’t cheap, after all. You wouldn’t tell the dean who it was, though. That wouldn’t be good for a number of reasons. 

“Enjoy your time here at Columbia, Y/N. You’re free to go.” the dean smiled, nodding towards the door. 

You stood on shaky legs and walked out of the room, trying to process what you had just heard. No more student loan payments, no more living paycheck-to-paycheck, no more working at your shitty fast food job until 2 am. You pulled your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans and typed out a message as you walked out of the building and stood on the steps. 

You: was it you???

Luke: Was what me, darling?

You: you know exactly what i’m talking about

You sighed, deciding to walk the half a block to your favorite cafe while you waited for Luke’s response. Your relationship with the blond was complicated. He wasn’t quite your sugar daddy, but he also wasn’t fully your boyfriend. It was never meant to spiral into a relationship, but Luke made you want more. Being a Columbia graduate himself, you had met him at a philanthropy event last spring. You had shared drinks and dancing, before he took you back to his large penthouse for a hook-up. 

Ever since then, Luke had made it clear that he enjoyed your company. He spoiled you beyond belief, both with material things and with a very active sex life. Being a Wall Street investment banker had given him the attitude that he would take what he wanted, and you were no exception. As much as you were an independent woman in your studies, having Luke in your life took some of the stress away. Going over to his place after a long day of classes, only to receive a mountain of physical affection and usually a gift or two, was just what you needed. 

Just as you finished ordering your chai latte, your phone pinged with a new message. You sat down at a cozy table in the corner and pulled out your laptop while you waited for your coffee, looking over the text. 

Luke: Come over. You’re done with classes for today, right?

Luke: I’ll order dinner. 

You smiled, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen loose from your braid behind your ear. You quickly typed out a message, thumbs flying across the screen. Even as frustrated as you were at the possibility of Luke paying off all of your tuition, you couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him. 

You: getting coffee, then i will<3

You smiled when Luke typed back three red hearts. He was never one for emojis, mostly because of how professional he was. Every now and then though, you were the lucky one to see that softer, less-professional side of him. As soon as your coffee was placed in your hand, you dashed out the cafe door, walking towards the nearest subway station to catch the train to Luke’s apartment at the southern end of Central Park. 

Your heart was absolutely racing as you got closer and closer to the blond. Luke was unlike anyone you had ever met. He had an almost electric pull on you. Luke bore a striking resemblance to a prince, or maybe a king. The way he commanded his office and then carried that dominance home to you was probably the hottest thing you had ever experienced in your twenty years of life. 

As soon as the subway pulled up to your stop, you were leaping off the train and up the stairs to the sidewalk. As soon as you got out of the tunnel, you couldn’t help but to crane your neck. No matter how many times you came to Luke’s apartment, you couldn’t help but to be in utter awe when you came upon Billionaire’s Row. The sky-high buildings made of glass and steel were highlighted so beautifully by the rest of the city lights. 

You hurried your pace a bit, eager to see Luke inside of one of those penthouse suites. Eventually, you came upon the building that you knew all too well. Walking inside the lobby, the man at the front desk smiled at you, his name tag reading Randy. 

“He’s home,” he smiled. “Right over here.”

“Thanks,” You smiled. “I don’t mind taking the regular elevator, y’know.”

“Oh, please. Take this one.” he unlocked the private elevator that would take you directly to Luke’s apartment. 

“Thank you,” You smiled as the doors began to close when you stepped in. “I’ll see you later?”

“If you leave tonight.” Randy chuckled. 

As soon as you were on your way up, your heart began to flutter faster. You hadn’t seen Luke in a few days because the stock market had been picking up and so had your classes, which made you so beyond eager to be around him once again. The elevator dinged and the doors to Luke’s apartment opened. 

You stepped out onto the plushy, white carpet, looking around for the blond. “Luke?”

“Hey baby,” he hummed, coming out of the kitchen and wrapping you in a hug. “Miss me?”

You giggled when he buried his face in your neck, his stubble scratching your neck. “I did.” You said sweetly. 

As soon as Luke pulled back, you looked up into his deep blue eyes before speaking again. “Luke, were you the ‘anonymous donor’ that paid my tuition?”

“I was. What? I can’t spoil my girl?” he led you into the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his white button-down. 

“Luke,” You insisted. “I never said that, but that’s hundreds of thousands of dollars. You don’t need to do that.”

“Watch your mouth, princess.” Luke gave you a stern look as he poured you a glass of Merlot. 

You blushed, shrinking under his gaze. Even when it wasn’t sexual, Luke had a dominant aire about him. Maybe it was because he worked in such a high power industry, or maybe it was just the way he was, but the blond made you want to submit to him, clinging onto his every word. 

“I just want to make sure we’re, y’know, equal. I want to make sure you feel loved, too.”

Luke slid the wine glass across the island to you, where you had taken a seat at the bar. “I don’t need that.”

You snorted. “Contrary to popular belief, you like feeling loved too.” You craned your neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

Luke rolled his eyes, walking around the island and wrapping his arms around your midsection. “So you wanna know how you can make me feel appreciated?”

“If you wanna call it that, sure.” You shrugged. 

“You can be my little toy for the next week. You’re free use for me,” he smirked, growling softly in your ear. “You think that’s equal?”

You nodded quickly, knowing Luke was going to take free advantage of the week, but not caring. “I think so.” You giggled. 

“You know I love you, right?” Luke asked. “I don’t want you worrying about your tuition anymore. It’s done, it’s taken care of. You’re going to relax and let me make you feel good, darling.” he hummed, massaging your shoulders. 

You blushed under the subtle dominance of Luke’s words, relaxing into his touch. You nudged your head into Luke’s chest and he chuckled softly, knowing exactly what you wanted. 

“You’re so cute when you need me, baby girl.” he picked you, holding you under the ass and abandoning your wine glass on the counter so he could carry you to his large master bedroom. 

You laid your head on his shoulder, speaking out a soft ‘I love you’. It had been a long day between classes and the stress of the news you’d received and now you just needed Luke to take care of you so you could relax for a little while. 

Luke placed you down on his soft, silken sheets when you reached his bedroom, humming softly. “On your knees, honey.”

You did as he asked, kneeling softly and looking up at your dom with soft doe eyes.  You were practically reeling with relaxation and happiness over Luke’s validation. You watched him softly while he bustled around the room, taking off his watch and getting things ready for the night. 

“Good girl, baby,” Luke praised you. “You’re doing perfect, honey.”

“Thank you.” You said sweetly, knowing Luke enjoyed it when you responded verbally. 

“Go wait in the bathroom for me, honey. I’ll be there soon.” Luke told you, looking at you sternly but speaking softly. 

You scampered off to Luke’s luxurious bathroom, wondering what he had in mind. Usually, he would dom you in bed. You wasted no time on kneeling on the bath mat beside the jacuzzi tub, still fully clothed. If there was one thing you loved to do, it was be Luke’s sub. Something about letting someone else take the reins and guide you, sexually or not, helped you relieve your stress from attending such a demanding university. 

Luke didn’t make you wait long. He came into the bathroom and saw you kneeling, giving you immediate praise. “Look at you, honey. Waiting like a good girl.” he cooed, flashing that million-dollar smile that had been on the cover of Forbes magazine last month. 

You blushed, giggling softly. You could feel yourself slipping into subspace, that floaty feeling taking over your head as Luke fussed over you and took care of you. You leaned into his touch as he ran a hand through your hair, before moving to start the bath water. 

“Nothing like a nice bath to help you relax, right love?” he smirked. “Arms up.”

You did as the blond asked and Luke pulled off your sweater. He left your glasses on, but reached for the button on your jeans. Luke slowly helped you stand up and then pulled your pants and your panties off, trailing little kisses from your collarbone down to your pubic bone. You could feel the way your body had completely relaxed into your subspace, molding like jelly at whatever Luke told you to do. 

The blond fiddled with the settings on the tub, turning on the jets and adding the red lights, which were his absolute favorite. Luke put your favorite, rose-scented bath bomb into the tub before speaking. “Get in the bath, honey.”

You stepped into the large jacuzzi tub, holding Luke’s hand and sinking into the warm, fizzy water. “Thank you.”

Luke smirked, enjoying the way your face was tulip-pink at all the attention being showered on you by him. He wasn’t going to push you today; he had seen the stress lines that had burrowed their way deep onto your face. Besides, you two still needed to have the tuition conversation and he didn’t want you to be totally fucked out for that. Just enough to help you relax. 

“I think you need some entertainment while you’re in the bath, hmm? Wouldn’t want you getting distracted…” he smirked, running his ring-clad pointer finger under your chin. 

You immediately rested your chin on the ledge of the large tub, watching Luke with expectant eyes. He pulled back for a moment, just enough to make sure you were fully paying attention, but not enough to make you panic. Luke began to undo the buttons of his white shirt, smirking at you as he teased you so fucking slowly, ringed fingers pulsing as he worked. 

Letting out a few soft, sensual moans didn’t seem to phase the blond. He simply continued to slowly undress, making sure you were watching the whole time. He wasn’t not not acknowledging you, but he also wasn’t giving you the attention you were oh-so-craving. Finally, Luke came to his gray, Calvin Klein boxers. He slid them off slowly, smirking at you as he did so. 

“Mmmm, want you to dom me, Luke. Please. It’s so big.” You whined. 

“Ahh ahh, we don’t whine, honey. I think you forgot to ask nicely, hmm?” Luke stood towering over you, completely naked, but in all his godlike authority. 

Even in your fuzzy subspace, you could see why all of Luke’s female assistants fawned over him. He looked like something sent straight from Mount Olympus with his blond curls, perfect nose, and regal body type. He had a commanding aura about him, no matter what he was doing, and despite his multiple (yes, multiple) PhDs from different Ivy League universities, it was easy to understand how he did so well in the New York Stock Exchange. 

“Sorry sir,” You whispered out. “Can you please dom me?” You asked in a sultry tone. 

“That’s what I like to hear,” Luke planted a kiss on your head as he stepped into the tub with you. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

You giggled and blushed, still kneeling even in the bath. You kept your eyes trained on Luke, which proved a difficult task from here. Luke’s master bathroom was made up of crystal clear glass windows that allowed for a view of practically the whole city since he lived on the 69th floor.  With the sun starting to fade into a hazy dusk and the lights of the skyscrapers popping on one-by-one, it was hard not to get distracted, but you wanted Luke’s pleasure much more than you wanted to enjoy the view. 

You and Luke sat face-to-face, and he watched your eyes intently, wondering what joys he would unlock tonight. He began to rub your thigh up and down with his hand under the soapy water, keeping his eyes trained on you. 

“Relax, pretty girl,” he whispered. “Just let me take care of you.”

You began to relax under Luke’s touch and gaze, that is, until he began to sneak his fingers closer and closer to your opening. You unconsciously clenched your thighs around Luke’s hand, your nerves sensitive. You began to whimper, wiggling your hips closer to meet his fingers. 

“Oh god.” You whined. 

Luke smirked, running his fingers along your wet slit and trailing it over your clit. He smirked as he did so, scooting closer to you. “I want you to cum all over my fingers, princess. Get all that stressed properly fucked out.”

You moaned, thrusting your hips against Luke’s pulsating fingers. The blond began to make small, raindrop-like pulses on your electric spot, enjoying the view as you squirmed under him, practically riding his fingers. 

“Good girl, honey. Takin’ it like the slutty little school girl that you are.” he coached you. 

Your climax was beginning to build up, and you couldn’t help the moans and whimpers that escaped from your mouth as Luke finger-fucked you. As he tapped near your clit, he used three fingers on the other hand to slowly slide them in and out of your pussy. 

“That’s it, baby. That feel good? Yeah?” he smiled, knowing you were entirely too close to say anything other than small ‘yes’’s and ‘uh huh’’s. 

You were nearly crying as you tried to hold yourself back from clenching and cumming all over Luke’s fingers until he told you to do so. Your sex was absolutely throbbing with the way Luke was touching you, and the warm water from the tub was not making it any easier. 

“Luke,” You nearly screamed out. “Making me need to cum.”

The blond gave one last time of really working up your rhythm, before kissing your chest. “Go ahead and cum for me, baby. Cum all over my fingers.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You quickly released, and your walls began to clench around Luke’s fingers, coating them in your cum. The blond coached you through your climax, offering lots of praise and compliments. 

“You are so pretty when you cum, princess,” he cooed when you had finished, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Takin’ my fingers like a good girl.”

You blushed under Luke’s words, leaning your head against his shoulder when he pulled you into his bare chest, hand running up and down your side. Luke had an almost intoxicating way of making your orgasms one of the most exhausting, but best, things you did. 

“I think you need one more for good measure. Make sure all that stress is properly fucked out, yeah?” he asked you. 

You quickly nodded, never saying no to Luke pleasuring you. The blond ran his fingers through your hair and down your face and upper body, making sure to keep you fully relaxed in subspace. Because you were essentially sitting on his lap, you could feel Luke’s cock hardening under you and you couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks. 

“Turn around on your knees, honey,” Luke coached, moving you off his lap. “Right over the jet.” 

Doing as Luke asked, you had to bite your lip at the sensation of the rushing water tingling your clit. “Oh.” You moaned. 

The blue-eyed man chuckled, caressing your upper back. “Feels so good, doesn’t it, princess?” he whispered in your ear. 

You nodded, gripping the edge of the tub to keep yourself steady. Luke grabbed his white button-down that he had oh-so-conveniently placed on the tub ledge. He quickly used it to wrap your hands around the faucet. 

“I want to make sure you enjoy this in the right way.”

You moaned at Luke’s erotic words, angling your hips back so that your ass would meet Luke’s boner. He pulled you back by the hips slowly, offering you lots of praise as your body melted like butter in his hands, allowing him to touch where and however. The blond told you to stay on your knees and lean forward into your bond, angling your back, and you whined as you felt the pressure placed on your already sensitive pussy, even without Luke’s dick. 

Luke was practically a sex expert, and he knew your anatomy almost better than you did. That being said, he knew he needed to take you from behind in order to hit your G-spot. Your second orgasm was always faster than the first, and he wanted to make sure that he would get the pleasure of you cumming not only on his fingers, but on his dick as well. 

He slowly straddled you from behind, his hips pushing into your ass, before inserting only his tip into you. The pleasure on the blond’s face was evident as he heard you release tiny moans and pants, already nearly overstimulated, just from an inch of him inside you. 

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckled. “Did studying all day wear you out? Made you nice and needy for my dick, baby?” 

You moaned, nodding your head and straddling against your restraints. “Yes…” You breathed out. “Yes sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Good girl.” Luke slid more of his dick inside of you, painstakingly teasing you. 

You pushed your ass further against him, trying to take as much of him into you as possible. Luke was a big fan of doggy style and you had gone through this many times before; Luke didn’t give in to what you wanted right away, but nevertheless, you always tried. You tried desperately to distract yourself by looking out at the scenic cityspace in front of you, but the view was no match for the magic that was Luke. 

“You are so fucking hot when you listen to me, Y/N,” Luke growled, tugging on the ends of your hair slightly. “Obeying just the way you’re supposed to like a good sugar baby.”

You moaned, craning your neck back and arching your back as the jets overstimulated your clit and electric spot and Luke’s dick teased your hole. “Uh huh…oh god, Luke.” You whined. 

Finally, after what felt like forever to you, Luke slammed all eight inches of himself inside of you, bucking his hips so that you could feel his shaft pulsating. He began to ride you at an almost frenzy rhythm, slamming his hips into yours so that the sound of skin hitting skin and jacuzzi water splashing echoed around the room. The blond knew that if people in other high-rises looked hard enough, they could see him riding you doggy-style within an inch of your life. He didn’t care, though. You wanted to act like a good sub that was practically begging with your eyes for a slutty fuck, that’s what you would get. Besides, billionaires were too scandalous themselves to speak about their colleagues’ sex lives. 

“Luke,” You nearly sobbed out, overstimulated by the jets rocking your clit and Luke railing you from behind. “Need to cum.”

Your second orgasm was always faster than your first and you could feel the tight ball building up in your lower stomach, begging to be released. The overstimulation from pressure on your clit and penetration from Luke was having tears running down your cheeks. Luke wasn’t letting up though. He wanted you to be so worn out that you could just relax and let him take care of you. 

“You can cum, honey,” he hummed, fucking into you one last time before slapping your ass. “Cum all over my dick.”

You immediately did as told, crying out and straining against your bond as you released your climax. “Uh uh…feels so good.” You panted out, walls clenching around his cock. 

Luke rubbed your back as you did so, gently guiding you through it. “That’s it. Good girl. Cumming all over my dick.”

You moaned loudly, thoroughly exhausted. “Thank you.”

“Ah ah,” he tutted. “You’re not done yet, baby girl,” Luke slowly untied the shirt that had bonded you. “Turn around.” he huffed coldly. 

You did as he asked, looking up at him through your lashes. He had a smirk on his face, body radiating dominance and power as he lifted your heads above your head and tied them once again to the faucet with the shirt, only this time, you were facing him.

“You really thought you were gonna be done without me getting my pleasure off you?” the blond asked. 

You blushed under his gaze, unconsciously bucking your hips to meet his. “Use me. I love you, so use me.” You panted. 

“Think you need a nice facial to help you relax, hmm sweetie?”

You nodded quickly, knowing what Luke was getting at. “Please.” You said, eyeing his massively-hard boner. 

Luke began to pump himself with his right hand, rings still on. It was probably the hottest thing you’d ever seen, with his head thrown back, blond curls wet and plastered to his forehead, and his muscles bulging as he worked himself. You wiggled in the grasp of his white shirt, moaning loudly. You were beginning to get cold in the water without his body on you and you were making it very clear that you wanted him again. 

“Gonna cum, baby.” he huffed out. 

“Do it. Cum all over me, sir.” You whined in a sultry voice. 

Luke didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately came all over your face, coating your eyes and cheeks in white ropes of cum. 

“God, baby. So pretty.” he said, watching you blink the cum out of your eyelashes as he rode out his high. 

You blushed. “It’s because of you.”

Luke reached for a washcloth in the fine basket beside the large tub and dipped it into the water, slowly wiping your face off with the warm, wet rag. “I love seeing you when you know you belong to me, princess.” he crooned. 

You giggled softly, loving the floaty feeling that was coming from being in your subspace. “Thank you.”

The blue-eyed man continued to wash you off with the cloth, removing the stickiness from your face and body. Luke looked over and realized he had left a crystal champagne flute by the tub the night before. 

“Do you need your hair washed, princess?” he asked. 

You immediately nodded, absolutely loving it when Luke washed your hair. “Please.”

Luke smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead before using the flute as a sort of cup to wet your hair and using his own shampoo (which was vanilla scented, but no one else needed to know) to wash your hair. You melted under his touch, allowing Luke to take full control, directing you to close your eyes and lean your head back so he could wash your hair. 

“All done, honey. Sit in the bath while I dry off.”

His words hardly registered in your brain. The wonderful feeling of being totally fucked out and having someone wash your hair had made you so sleepy. Luke quickly stepped out of the jacuzzi, wrapping a plush, white towel around himself and grabbing his phone from the vanity. The view of you naked, fucked out, in his huge jacuzzi and against the background of crystal-clear glass and the lights of Billionaire’s Row in Manhattan was too pretty for him not to snap a photo of. 

The blond quickly dried himself off and dressed in a pair of cozy gray sweats with no shirt. No matter how much money he made off of Wall Street, that outfit would always be his pajamas. Luke pulled the plug in the tub, lifting you out of the tub easily and wrapping you in a pink towel with your initials monogrammed that you left at his apartment for hookups like tonight. 

“Kneel, honey, so I can dry you off,” he told you. “Good girl.”

You melted under Luke’s touch as he dried you off and lathered you with sweet-smelling lotion. He slipped your red, silken nightie with lace details over your head before picking you up. Being your sugar daddy, he figured it was only fair to spoil you after you had pleasured him so well and that was exactly what he planned on doing. Luke carried you to bed, tucking you in softly. “What are you feeling for dinner, baby?” 

You shrugged, feeling so sleepy and out of it. “You pick.”

“Nope, it’s your night, princess.” he chuckled softly. 

“You already did, well, what you did today with the money and all. Let me order it.” You said, reaching for your phone. 

“No ma’am,” Luke jerked it back. “You’re going to let me spoil you. You have two choices, baby. Seafood or steak.”

“..steak. Thank you.” You blushed. 

Even though you had known Luke since the spring, you were still getting used to the whole “sugar daddy” thing. It was still rather unfamiliar to you to let someone else care for you, especially someone as rich as Luke. The blond easily ordered the food from both his and your favorite Michelin Star restaurant, easily curling up in bed with you after. 

“Thank you for today. For everything. Are you sure it’s okay?” You asked quietly. 

“Princess, I told you. The only thing you owe me is free use of that slutty little body for the next week.” he told you, burying his face into your neck as he spooned you. 

You blushed and giggled softly, pushing yourself further into him. “That sounds good to me. But seriously, thank you. Helping me with my education means more to me than you know.”

“I know. That’s why I did it. Besides, smart girls are hot girls.” he smirked. 

You happily cuddled into Luke’s side, sighing happily. And if Luke spent the rest of the night being beyond soft and caring for you, no one else had to know. 

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings imagine #luke 5sos #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemming imagines #5sos gifs #ashton irwin #calum hood #fanfic #5sos fic #michael clifford #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5sos smut #5sos hq #5sos moodboard #5sos x reader #5sosfam #calum 5sos #michael 5sos #ashton 5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfiction #the 5sos show

[landologg]

Stick Season

lando norris x fem!oc

social media au

fc: none

summary: you are taylor swift's daughter (august swift) and decide to take your boyfriend to NYC for the autumn season and soft launch your relationship.

ps. sorry this is so short, it's only my first fic, they will get longer as i learn more but this is what i wanted to start off with. honestly i might make this a mini series but idk so let me know if you want it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

augustswift

liked by taylorswift, landonorris, and 92,503 others

after plaid shirt days, and nights when you made me your own

taylorswift: omg the soft launch

- augustswift: taylorswift gotta keep the people entertained 🤭

landonorris

liked by augustswift, danielriccardo, and 93,513 others

we're singing in the car getting lost upstate

danielriccardo: she seems cool

- landonorris: danielriccardo she is

charlesleclerc: mate when are we going to meet her?

- landonorris: charlesleclerc when you're nicer to her

carlossainz55: she looks like she's a swiftie

- landonorris: carlossainz55 die hard

taylorswift

liked by augustswift, landonorris, and 5,463,435 others

soft launching my daughter's relationship is my favorite hobby

comments turned off

augustswift & landonorris added to their story!

lando.jpg

liked by taylorswift, augustswift, and 99,130 others

remembering this all too well

tagged /// augustswift

taylorswift: omg this is so cute

- landonorris: taylorswift well you did take this picture

augustswift: i love you lan :(

- landonorris: augustswift love you more baby

augustswift

it was rare, i was there.

tagged /// landonorris

taylorswift: faves 😭

- augustswift: taylorswift i love youu 😭

landonorris: you're my world ❤️

- augustswift: landonorris my muse <3

#lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #fluff #taylor swift #social media #fanfic #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #soft launch #daniel riccardo x reader #pato oward x reader #carlos sainz x reader #ashton irwin x reader #max verstappen #1989 tv #lovers #f1 fic #mercedes #red bull racing #ferarri #mclaren #Spotify

[saintlaurentisms]

hi my love! been obsessed with the fictional club scene recently; was wondering if you could write me a quick smutty club bathroom/dancefloor blurb!!! have fun with it, i love ya <3 :3

fulfilling the fantasy.

A/N: i had so much fun writing this, holy shit. this is dedicated to all of the harry & ashton fans in the world (and on the internet!), i see you and i believe you have taste.

gif credit.

summary: in which, you and your boyfriend go out to celebrate a successful first tour gig and the adrenaline seriously heightens emotions. ~ featuring ashton irwin of 5 seconds of summer.

content warning: smut (semi-public p-in-v sex in front of a mirror, voyeurism, threesome (???), dirty talk (degradation + praise), oral sex (male receiving), some hair pulling, daddy kink.) this work is intended for those 18+ and should be read by mature audiences only.

word count: 2.7k+ words.

The post-concert adrenaline hadn’t wavered in Harry’s veins, that much was evident. When you looked at him, all you could see was the radiance of energy and purity of happiness; evergreen in his eyes, the rose color in his lips, the blackness of ink that shone underneath the arctic hues of blue and white in the nightclub you and Harry had ventured to in the darkness of the evening. It was risky going out, especially at a time where One Direction fans were probably having their own adventure, still riding the high of seeing their favorite band perform live, but you nor Harry seemed to care.

Tonight was all about him, all about celebrating a successful first show and the beginning of the On the Road Again tour. The rest of the boys had preoccupied themselves with their own forms of fun, leaving you and Harry by yourselves. Upon entering the venue, you beelined towards the bar, your hand in Harry’s with your heads bowed to try and keep your identities a bit of a secret. You’re in the middle of ordering a round of vodka shots for you both before you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder. You turn your head to get a glance at who could have tapped you, though you’re already suspecting it was a fan. 

You were wrong.

“Holy shit, Ashton?” You exclaim, eyebrows furrowing at the man in front of you. Harry’s eyes widen a bit at your words, turning his body fully to face the drummer, abandoning the bartender and the prospect of alcohol. It had been a while since you’d interacted with Ashton in person, only really communicating via text or video chat since you last saw him a year ago. Of course, it had been far longer for Harry; One Direction had 5 Seconds of Summer on tour with them in 2013 and 2014 and they all grew quite close during that time, but their communication had fizzled out due to how busy both bands became. 

“I knew it was you!” Ashton grins, hazel eyes glimmering with excitement as the pair of you take each other in. The buzz of chemistry between you and the Australian was palpable – palpable enough for anyone to notice it, including Harry. 

Harry’s lips twitch up into a small smile at the interaction taking place in front of him, yet an ugly, gnawing feeling in his gut is slowly beginning to grow; he knew you were attracted to Ashton when you’d met back in 2013 and that Ashton reciprocated those feelings once you both had gotten to know one another. However, you and Harry had just begun dating and knew that nothing would come of your little crush on the drummer. Still, a deep-seated insecurity nestled its way into his bones and, apparently, hadn’t quite left. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through his veins, but the unsettling amount of jealousy your boyfriend was beginning to feel made his evergreen eyes go emerald; hard, darkened. “We’re celebrating tour,” Harry cuts in, instinctively wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “the first show was earlier on.” 

“Yeah, I heard through the grapevine,” Ashton replies playfully, “Niall. Niall’s the grapevine. He asked if the boys and I could catch the show, but we were busy. Will you be in Australia for a bit?”

“Yes! Yeah, we’ll be in Australia. 1D has shows in Brisbane and Melbourne.” The words tumble out of your mouth and it sounds as though you’re a walking advert for your boyfriend’s band. Clearly, Ashton finds it cute because he’s chuckling at your unfiltered enthusiasm the minute you stop rambling. 

“Well, it was great to see you guys. I didn’t mean to intrude.” He smiles, though his words are a slight dig at your boyfriend; Ashton could tell Harry’s guard was up and the jealousy that he exuded was crystal clear. At least, it was to him.

You, on the other hand, were too wrapped up in excitement to truly take note. 

The drummer leaves you and Harry at the bar, going back into the atmosphere of the club. You spot him joining a group of friends at a table. Part of you wishes he’d stay and chat more, but the evening wasn’t about socializing, it was about basking in the glory of your popstar beau. 

Everything seems to return back to normal; you turn your attention back to the bar and order that round of vodka shots for yourself and Harry. The two of you are two shots deep before his gaze falls on you, “D’you want to fuck him?” 

You choke on the alcohol, sputtering slightly with wide eyes at the incredibly unexpected question. “W-What? What the fuck are you- are you talking about?” You speak between breaths, trying to regain composure. Harry wasn’t usually so direct, this only happened whenever sex was involved, so why he was so upfront confused you a bit. 

“Do you want to have sex with Ashton?”

“Harry,” You look at him incredulously, “don’t be ridiculous. No, I don’t want to sleep with Ashton.”

“Don’t lie, Y/N. You’ve always fancied him, we both know that.”

“So what? I’m with you, I love you. Want you, not him. It’s just a little celebrity crush, H. You know I’d-”

“Darling,” Harry interrupts with a chuckle, amused by your immediate instinct to reassure him that you’d never entertain infidelity. He knew how committed you were to him. “S’ not what I mean. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. M’ askin’ if you’d ever thought about fucking him.” 

You weren’t sure whether to be truthful or to set aside your feelings. On one hand, he was only asking you if you’d thought about it or had ever fantasized about it, yet on the other hand, a part of you was sure that if you answered with the truth, he’d get angry with you. However, Harry had never been the type to get angry over honesty. In fact, he preached being truthful. 

“I’ve… thought about it, yeah. It isn’t really a fantasy about him fucking me, though. It’s more- well, it’s more about you and him.”

Your boyfriend blinks, “A threesome?”

“Kind of? I- I guess you could describe it that way. You, uhm.. You take turns.”

At this, the popstar is silent. His eyebrows knit together as he thinks for a brief moment. 

“We share you.”

You cringe at Harry’s words. The lewdness of his sentence lingers and makes you feel queasy, “When you put it like that, I sound like a slut. I hate how that sounds.”

“Baby, there’s nothin’ wrong with wanting to explore having more than one sexual partner. ‘Spose it is a threesome you’re wanting. I…” He trails off, pearly teeth nibbling at his lower lip as he starts to think deeply once more, diving head first into the depths of his head. 

“Yeah?” You coax, eyebrows raising slightly.

“I’ll be honest, m’ a bit jealous about it- the idea of another man takin’ you. But, if it’s just a one time thing, I think I could be okay with it.” Harry replies sincerely, green eyes meeting your own briefly. “One night only, the two of us makin’ you ours for an evening.”

Those words go straight to your core and your brain begins to conjure up filthy images of Ashton and Harry taking turns pleasing you. Your thighs squeeze together in order to quell the heat beginning to bloom in between them. “Please?” You ask quietly, gazing up at your boyfriend with faux innocence; a little look like this tends to send Harry into dominant overdrive. 

He smirks, “Text him and tell him to meet us in the bathroom, love.”

Within eight minutes, Ashton is tapping on the club’s bathroom door before swiftly entering and locking it behind him. His hazel eyes glance over at Harry, then at you. “Are you sure about this?”

You’d texted the drummer about the situation when your boyfriend had told you to, not leaving any important details out of it. It was made clear: you, Harry and Ashton, fucking in the club’s bathroom. The only opportunity you’d ever get to have both of the men you deemed incredibly fit and had the most chemistry with. 

You nod confidently, “I’m sure, I promise.” 

Like a switch had flipped, Ashton’s gaze meets Harry’s again, but there’s a haze in it; his once bright hazel eyes are clouded with desire. Some silent conversation is had between their eyes, maybe it’s both men agreeing to the terms – whatever it is, they both exude an aura of dominance that has your heartbeat increasing. You’ve never wanted to be on your knees this badly before.

The feeling of Harry’s lips brushing against your ear brings you out of your reverie and a short gasp leaves your lips as they trail downward and press a deep kiss to your neck. Ashton walks forward, one of his hands cupping your cheek as he brings his lips to yours, sealing your fate. 

The affair becomes a blur of quick movements and kisses shared as time progresses. The soft clink of belts being unbuckled and heavy breathing fills the room when you’re finally brought down to your knees, eyes feigning innocence as you look up at Ashton. His hand is wrapped around his cock, the tip of it right at your lips. 

“Go on, baby. Show Ashton how much of a good little slut y’ are.” Harry encourages you, leaning against the sink with his hand tugging slowly at his length. Without much else, your lips wrap around the drummer’s dick, your head bobbing up and down in order to take more of it in.

“Fuck,” Ashton swears through gritted teeth, his free hand weaving itself into your hair, gently guiding your movements, “so good, doll. Keep goin’ just like that for me.” 

You do, you allow him to guide your movements with each tug on your hair, furthering his cock into your mouth. It’s sloppy; tears are welling in your eyes whenever he hits the back of your throat, your saliva is coating his dick and your chin. “She’s such a slut for it, Styles. Damn, you got lucky.” Ashton groans low in his throat, which makes Harry smirk.

“Bet you’re absolutely dripping, aren’t you baby? Adore being used, don’t you?” Your boyfriend taunts you, evergreen eyes watching you suck off his friend. All you can do is look at him as validation for his statement. 

Ashton’s fingers wrapping in the strands of your hair becomes slightly fiercer, pulling and pushing your lips up and down his length as he chases euphoria. “Fuck, I’m close.” He warns, hazel eyes shutting as he tries his damndest to hold on for just a bit longer.

Your eyes flit towards Harry, who’s still watching you give Ashton a blowjob, his hand tugging at his cock lazily. A devilish grin has throned itself upon his lips, “Cum for her, Ash.”

The drummer’s fingers twitch momentarily, then still. A guttural groan leaves his lips as his head tilts back and his cock throbs in between your lips, emptying himself into your mouth. Eagerly, you swallow what he gives you – and it’s a lot; thick streams of cum paint your tongue white.

Ashton pulls away from you once his cock starts to soften, tucking himself back into his trousers and gently helping you up from off your knees. “That was- shit, that was really fuckin’ good.”

“I- uh.. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” You reply a bit bashfully. “Now, do you mind if Harry and I…” You trail off, hoping he’d take the hint that you wanted to be alone with your significant other.

Thankfully, he does. Ashton turns to look at himself in the mirror above the sink, straightening himself out before saying goodbye to you and Harry, then asking your boyfriend to text him. He unlocks the door and disappears into the club. 

You make quick work of locking it once more, then face your boyfriend. Harry gestures you over to him and the minute you’re standing in front of him, both of his hands grip your waist. He wastes no time in undressing your lower half and bending you over the sink, one of his hands reaching to pull at your hair so your eyes are focused on your reflections in the mirror. He’s being rough, but you hadn’t expected much else; whenever he got really aroused, his dominant side would peak significantly. 

“Did you like having Ashton’s dick down your throat, darling? I know you did, I can feel just how wet you are.” He teases you, the head of his length pressing up against your entrance. “I think you enjoyed it a bit too much, Y/N. D’you need to be reminded of who you belong to, baby?”

You swallow thickly, eyes meeting his through the mirror, “Yes.”

“Sorry? Didn’t quite hear you, love.”

A shaky sigh leaves your lips, “Yes, Daddy.”

The feeling of Harry’s cock stretching you out overwhelms your senses, your nails claw at the sink as he bottoms out. “Have to be quick,” He grunts as his hips start to move, thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy at an unrelenting pace, “but I’ll make damn sure you know who you belong to once m’ finished.” 

You can’t speak, your lips are parted as heavy breaths and choked moans roll off of your tongue as your boyfriend takes you. Harry’s right hand finds your clit, the pads of his fingers start toying with the sensitive pearl. “Look at you, takin’ my cock like the perfect slut that y’ are. Should fulfill more of your fantasies if this is how bloody good you’ll be.” He growls in your ear.

“Yes- yes, please!” You mewl, the prospect of exploring more of your desires with the man that you love makes you more aroused, your pussy clenches around his cock at the thought. “I- I love being your p-perfect little slut.”

“I know, angel. So fuckin’ perfect f’ Daddy.” 

A whine leaves your lips, “God, Harry, I’m gonna cum.” 

“Not before you tell me who you belong to, baby.” 

Another whine leaves your lips; he’s playing a game with you and if you don’t obey the rules, you won’t get to orgasm. You need to orgasm. 

“Yours, Harry. I- I’m all yours.”

He gives a particularly rough thrust and his teeth scrape at your ear, “Who’s pussy is this?”

You gasp, “Yours.”

“That’s right, angel. Now you can cum f’ me.” 

Harry’s fingers on your clit continue to rub quick circles, his eyes fixated on your features twisting up in pure ecstasy as your orgasm hits you hard; jaw slack, eyes pinched shut, pussy throbbing around his cock. 

The feeling of you squeezing around him like a vice triggers his own orgasm. He buries his face into the crook of your neck to muffle the loud groan that reverberates in his chest, his stomach clenching as he empties himself inside of you. 

“Holy shit.” You chuckle breathlessly as your orgasms begin to dissipate. Harry’s hand falls away from your clit and he gingerly begins to pull out of you, eyebrows furrowing a bit at the feeling. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, helping you steady yourself as you straighten up. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m alright. I do have a question for you,” You begin, just as you both start redressing, “were you being serious about fulfilling more of my fantasies? Or was that the testosterone talking?”

Harry grins, “Definitely not just the testosterone. We’ve never actually discussed what sexual fantasies you’ve had.”

“Do you have any?” You ask curiously, quietly wracking your brain for a possible answer he might give.

“Not very many, but I do have a few. Don’t think we should begin discussing them now, darling. We’ve been in here for a long time.” He replies, taking a quick glance at himself in the mirror, then wrapping an arm around your waist. 

“Right,” You giggle, “we should go.” 

Harry reaches to unlock the bathroom door and leads you back out into the club, the both of you exiting with smug expressions on your faces and one shared thought…

If this was only one of your fantasies, what else could you both explore?

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #lhh!harry #1d smut #1d imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles filth #harry smut #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton x reader #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin smut #5sos imagine #5sos smut #harry styles x y/n #ashton irwin x y/n #harry styles blurb #ashton irwin blurb #harry styles smut

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

Shattered Infinity

#when i see this i imagine that it's ashton's duna-brain sparking for the first time (honestly might write a fic for it too) #critical role #critical role fanart #cr fanart #cr3 #bells hells #ashton greymoore #i've been struggling to figure out how to draw ashton for ages with their fucking stone skin #but i think i've figured it out

[lukesdice]

'Till the Day I Die

Luke Hemmings x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Some swearing

Blurb: You hadn’t seen your ex boyfriend in 7 months after he broke your heart, and at a party you finally see him again.

Note: hey :) I wrote this short piece as an introduction to me writing for 5sos! If you have any requests for any of the boys, pls send them in 🖤

The light drizzle of rain tickled the tip of your nose and the ends of your lashes, a chilling breeze causing you to pull your thin jacket tighter around yourself. The muffled beat of lounge rock music drawled through from the patio doors, a light chatter of tipsy voices and clattering mixed in with the soft tunes.

"Have you spoken to Luke tonight?" Calum asked you, taking a short drag from his cigarette and turning to face you as he pressed his elbows to the cool metal on the balcony railing.

You shook your head and sighed, staring out at the darkening view of the city lights.

"Are you going to?"

Smoke tingled with your senses as you wrung your hands together, thinking for a short minute.

"Why can't he speak to me first?" you asked, not once tearing your eyes away from directly looking in front of you.

"He's not going to do that," Calum said, "I think he's scared."

You sighed again.

Calum held out his half-smoked cigarette in front of you, drops of ashes dusting the balcony floor.

You let the smoke inhale into your throat and exhale out of your mouth again, watching the clouds in front of you dance into the chilling air.

"Does he even regret leaving me without even really giving me a reason?" you asked, twisting the cigarette between your fingers a little.

A moment of silence passed.

"He hasn't really spoken much about it" Calum said.

You sighed for a third time.

You handed Calum his cigarette and took a swig of your vodka mixer, it's harsh burn trickling down your throat. You pulled the cup away from your lips and screwed your face into a disgusted frown.

Calum chuckled loudly, "not really a vodka girl huh?"

You shook your head and coughed a little, "but it gets me drunk quick so fuck it" you laughed lightly.

After Calum had finally decided to leave to find another drink, you decided to make your way to the toilet, smiling and waving at a few people on the way. You stared at yourself in the mirror, mascara now slightly smudged and hair a little frizzy from the faint rain. You combed your fingers through it to try and untangle the knots, adjusting your skirt to a more suitable position.

"Fuck" you whispered to yourself, the light buzz in your head from the alcohol kicking in a little.

As you left the bathroom, you noticed Luke from the corner of your eye, his curly blonde hair and sparkly eyeshadow was instantly recognisable. He was wearing his favourite suit trousers and converse, the combo you always thought looked great on him.

He was smiling and laughing with Ashton and some girl, your heart picking up in speed. You knew it was wrong to feel pissed off at the fact he looked happy, you just wanted him to be miserable without you. You knew that sounded cruel but you couldn't help it. You wanted him to feel as broken as you did when he left.

You made your way back to the balcony, now alone, beginning to feel anxious and awkward at the sight of seeing your now ex-boyfriend of 7 months.

"Oh" you heard awkwardly from behind you.

You slowly turned around, your heart now hammering in your chest as you came face to face with Luke.

You stared silently at each other for what felt like five minutes, it becoming obvious to you that Luke hadn't come out here because he knew you were and wanted to see you.

"Sorry" he croaked.

"I didn't know you were out here."

You twisted your lips between your teeth, racking your brain for anything to say back that didn't sound stupid.

"Why? Am I that unbearable to see?" you questioned, not even really aggressively but more in a defeated manner.

Luke cast his eyes away from you for a moment and you could see his cheeks heating up a little with embarrassment.

"No" was all he could say.

"How are you anyway?" you asked, trying your best to make conversation. For some reason you desperately didn't want him to leave, and you wanted at least a minute more with him. Even if your head and heart hurt whenever you looked into his blue eyes.

"I'm fine" he replied, looking uncomfortable in the spot he was standing in but obviously scared to even move a muscle. "You?"

"I'm okay" you told him.

He nodded slightly before turning around to place his hand on the handle of the patio door, ready to re-enter the party.

Your shoulders dropped as you turned back to the view, tears forcing their way to teeter on the edge of your eyelids. You knew seeing him would hurt but you weren't prepared for the actual literal pain it brought.

"Actually I'm shit."

Your eyebrows raised slightly as your body tensed up. You kept your focus on the buildings and cars below you, scared of what to reply and shocked at his admittance.

"I've been shit since we broke up, and it's worse 'cause it's all my fault."

Your mouth felt dry, a tear that had been taunting you fell quickly down your cheek. You brought your hand up to your cheek to wipe it away and it was gone as quickly as it had come.

You had been longing for and imagining this moment over and over, concocting scenarios in your head where he had said this to you in various different ways, but you couldn't even now bring yourself to look at him anymore, never-mind respond.

You heard him sigh and begin to open the door, his footsteps shuffling for a moment before stopping, the music from inside now a little louder.

"I may have fucked up and you may hate me," Luke said quietly from behind you.

"But fucking hell, I know I will love you 'till the day I die."

Your chest rose and fell heavily, another couple of tears crawled down your face, but still no words came to mind. You felt as stuck as a clay statue.

You heard the door shut behind you and the music was instantly muffled again, and you knew that you were alone. A soft quiet sob left your mouth, as you hugged yourself tightly and mentally berated yourself for not saying anything.

After another ten minutes of calming yourself down, you re-entered the party, desperately scanning your eyes around the room for his blonde mop of hair. You couldn't see him anywhere. You began to panic that you had fucked up your chance after he had just literally told you he still loved you.

"He left a few minutes ago" Calum told you as he sloped up to you, a beer grasped in his hands. His eyes were glassy from being a bit too drunk. "You might still catch up to him" he smirked a little, like he was telling you that he knew something you didn't.

You thanked Calum and left through the front door, practically running down the flights of stairs and to the front of the building complex.

There he was, waiting out on the pavement for a taxi.

You cautiously approached him, shivering a little in the nighttime breeze and steady rain.

"I don't hate you" you said, making Luke jump a little at your sudden voice.

He turned to stare into your soul, his bright blue eyes the only thing you could focus on as a small curl tickled his brow, his leather jacket covered in little raindrops and glitter dotted over his cheeks as the rain had migrated it from his eyelids.

"I fucked up Y/N and I'm sorry, so sorry" he suddenly began to ramble without warning, "I don't deserve you, I fuck-" his voice cracked.

You took one step closer to him.

"I was just scared of hurting you or that you would hurt me so I ran away, and I fucking hurt you anyway" he continued, his blue eyes were vast teary oceans.

"Luke" you whispered softly.

He stopped his rambling, as you stood directly in front of him.

"I fucking miss you" you choked out without really thinking as he gave you a wet sad smile in reply.

He opened his mouth to reply but as he did so, his taxi pulled up to the curb, the driver inside motioning for him to hurry. Luke gave him a wave and turned back to you, drinking all of you in as he seemed to fight with himself not to leave you now. Not like this.

"Do you need a ride home?" he asked.

"I don't want to be a pain."

"Please" he almost begged you.

You agreed and climbed into the taxi before him, your heart and head in a mess of confusion and intense emotion. You still hadn't quite registered the fact that Luke had finally explained his reason for why he hurt you, even if it was in a few rambled sentences. You still hadn't really taken in the fact that Luke still loved you.

You were both silent in the back of the dim taxi, your hand next to you gripping the edge of the middle seat. You desperately wanted to look at Luke but a part of you felt too rigid with nerves to move your head even a crack.

But as the taxi slowly followed traffic in front, you suddenly felt a warmth upon your hand, your chest fluttering a little as you looked over at Luke's hand on yours.

You let him intertwine his fingers with yours, resting your entangled hands on the middle seat, neither of you spoke a word but a thousand feelings were exchanged.

Luke softly squeezed your hand like he always used to, and a small smile tickled the corners of your lips, because you hadn't felt these innocently romantic feelings since you had first met.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford #5sos fic #luke hemmings fic #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings x reader #5sos x reader #5sos imagine #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you #ashton irwin x reader #michael clifford x reader

[suchalonelysunflower]

Looks Red, Tastes Blue (a.i)

Pairing: Vampire! Ashton Irwin x Fem! Reader

Summary: Winds change, and people can’t be trusted. An origin story and a new beginning. Based on Looks Red, Tastes Blue by Mayday Parade.

Warnings: Angst. Blood. Violence. Characters deaths. Mentions of wounds. Mentions of bible and god. Murders. Torture. Suicide. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 7.2k

Author’s note: Spooky season! This might become a series, but focus on the *might* Please don’t forget to reblog, like and comment! SUPPORT YOUR AUTHORS ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋✨🌻

My masterlist // taglist in bio!

1815

The dark clouds roared with thunder, the rain will be here soon. This type of weather was not unusual, especially during this time of year when the sun goes to sleep and forgets to wake up for at least another three months. The waves crashed down on the coast, he could see them all perfectly from where he was standing. The dark, sharp rocks at the end of the cliff where his mansion stood showed no mercy as the agitated waves came looking for shelter from the storm.

Inside, the mansion was cold. The dark wooden floors and brick walls let the humidity find its home within the darkness. Not a sound could be heard except for the distant crackling of the firewood in the chimney, illuminating the drawing room and the solitary figure that stood there.

Baron Ashton Irwin, at the young age of 28 was already growing a couple of gray hairs due to the stress. His hands were clasped at his back; his suit, immaculate; and his long hair fell perfectly against his shoulders. He was the image of elegance and chivalry. Yet, his mind was the one giving him trouble.

Now, he stood in front of the window, carefully watching the clouds crash against each other and counting the seconds from the lightning to the thunder. He was never fond of storms, hating them since he was a child, still hiding behind his mother’s embrace. But now the expectancy of rain was his only comfort. Maybe that will calm them down.

“One… two… three… four…” Then a vigorous crash came down and filled his ears.

He breathed in deeply, his fingers finding comfort on the soft threads of his suit. He was looking up, for looking down might reveal his greatest fears. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. None of this was supposed to ever happen.

When he thought about moving to the country house that belonged to his family for generations, he never expected this type of welcome. He never expected for rumors to spread around like wildfire; hearing people talking about how he got his title and his fortune, as if his father was not a renowned royal all his life, and his father before him and - But that didn’t matter. No, not at least for the townsfolk who saw him as a threat.

Ashton has heard everything already. How he murdered his family to make a pact with the devil, selling his soul in exchange for power; or, how he bathed in the blood of virgins to keep his youth; or how he was the seed of Satan himself, trying to gain dominion by enchanting the innocent and then devour their blood and heart. And, of course, none of that was true.

He blamed it on the newfound obsession with purity and witchcraft. How men wanted to present themselves as the voice of God among men, condemning all the different souls that longed for more than bible tales and blind obedience to something they could not see nor hear. They prided themselves on their following, blind and ignorant, as they sentenced and killed everything in their way in the name of a higher power. Believing their own sins might be forgiven… but they know they never will.

His back stiffened when a warm, soft touch rounded his waist. But he immediately relaxed when he felt her cheek pressed against his back.

“It’s late,” She whispered, standing on her tiptoes to kiss the back of his neck. Ashton couldn’t help but smile as his hands rested over hers.

“I know,” He said with a sigh “But I can’t find it in myself to rest, not now at least”

“You’re worried they’ll come?”

Ashton could feel the hidden fear in her words, hugging him tightly and making the bump in her belly remind him what was at stake.

“Rumors only grow, my love, but are futile most of the time. This, however, feels different. For some reason, the wind won’t let me sleep, and the storm is as restless as myself. A bad omen is creeping up my back and I can’t shake it off”

“What can I do to help?”

With a soft smile, Ashton turned around to face his wife. It took him a few seconds to breathe her in, as she took a step back to give him space.

Her soft face and kind eyes brought nothing but comfort to the man with a heavy heart. Her hair fell perfectly on her face, reminding him how much he liked it that way instead of the updos the ladies now wore. Her white nightgown made it seem like she was floating, ethereal as it fitted her tummy perfectly, proudly showing they were expecting soon.

It was almost magical how the simple sight of her made all of his worries disappear. It has been like that since they met; when they were young, foolish, and free to do whatever they dreamt of. He fell for her the moment he saw her, and bowed in front of the angels to always protect her and do her right.

Now he can only hope he’ll be able to keep that promise, no matter the cost.

Ashton took a step forward, cradling his wife’s belly with a warm, soft touch.

“You are doing more than enough, my love,” He said, smiling when he felt their baby kick “You and this little манчкин are all I need”

He leaned over to kiss her forehead, a smile playing on her lips.

“I can still see that you’re worried”

Ashton sighed, knowing he couldn’t escape his wife’s knowing eyes.

“It’s this town,” He finally admitted “They don’t like us. They don’t like me” His eyes drifted back to the window “Coming here was a mistake, I just know it. But it’s too late now, or I’m afraid it might be”

Maybe things would’ve been different if he accepted the invitation of going to the church the first Sunday they settled. Maybe it would’ve been different if he let the women of the town visit his wife, but the first months of the pregnancy were hard for her as she lay in bed almost all day, crying in pain for him not to leave her side. Maybe it would’ve been different if his attitude toward the town’s rumors was more assertive instead of playing it off as something that would wear off any day now.

Now the weight of his heart burned with guilt. His fingers barely brushed the back of her head as she hugged him, letting her heart beat along with his as her soft breathing got mixed with the fire cracking in the chimney.

For a second he got lost in the fire, letting the red invade the hazel of his eyes as he held her close in his arms.

“We should move,” He said, not meeting her eyes “Let’s leave this place, and start over”

“You can’t start over when you already lived your life,” She said, mumbling the words against his chest. Her words were accompanied by a yawn - the pregnancy always made her sleepy, so it made Ashton giggle softly as he kissed her head “Besides, where would we even go? Your father left you this house, Ash. We have no business anywhere else”

“We can make the world our business if we want to, my love” He pulled away and cupped her face “It’s just- I got a bad feeling about this place. We can always come back to the city, find a place near the fields… Maybe find another coast so our children can know the sea”

She smiled, softly “You know I would follow you till the end of the world, Ashton. And if this is what you want, then I’ll go with you. I trust you” She grabbed one of his hands and placed her on her belly “We trust you”

Ashton couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh as he looked at her in the eyes. Never once did he see a starry night as the one that set upon her gaze, knowing he could look at her galaxy forever and never get tired of it. So he couldn’t help but lean down and capture her lips with his.

And he kissed her. He kissed her with all of his might because he could not believe how lucky he was to be so in love with a woman like that. Or better yet, how a woman like that could love him despite everything that’s been going on.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” He confessed against her lips, pressing his forehead against hers

She kissed him again “You’re a good man. You don’t claim to be perfect, nor to be the one that judges others. You’re a good man, Ashton, with a good heart capable of loving and healing. I-... I couldn’t fall for anyone but you”

He leaned over to kiss her again, to claim her lips as his own when the sound of thunder reverberated through the mansion again. But the sound brought more than the lightning.

“Do you hear that?” Ashton whispered, feeling how his hands turned cold even under her touch.

Then, the faint sound of footsteps and chatter filled the air. Iron crashing against one another mimicking the clouds crashing above. And Ashton knew what it meant.

With confident steps he walked over to the window to confirm his suspicions: They were here.

“Ash…” He heard her call, and he knew he had to act quickly.

Ashton turned to her, acting as calmly as he could, no matter how terrified he actually was. He cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead, a small smile playing on his lips.

“I’ll handle them,” He said, he hoped.

“Ashton-”

“We’ve got nothing to hide, my love” He assured her and himself “I will be alright”

The sounds came closer “I don’t like this, Ash. Let me go with you”

Ashton shook his head “The last thing I want is for you to get sick in this weather. Go to the baby’s room, and hide for a while. They are just confused and scared, I’ll talk to them and come get you once they’re gone”

“But-”

“It’s okay,” He kissed her once again, just in time to hear banging at the door “I love you,”

She sighed, “I love you, too” She started to walk away from the room before she turned back “I’ll wait for you, okay?”

“I’ll find you, don’t worry”

With one last reassuring smile, he watched her walk away. Yet that smile faded the moment she was out of sight and the storm grew louder. Ashton took a deep breath and armed himself with courage before making his way to the entrance, passing through various halls with paintings and portraits on the wall till he reached the main staircase. He took one last look at their latest family portrait that hung there: Him standing proud as his hand rested upon his wife’s shoulder while she sat in a white dress, one hand on her belly and excitement in her eyes for what was to come.

Ashton could not wait to replace that portrait with a new one of them becoming three. He could not wait to see their child sitting between them, hoping they would look like their mother. But for that dream to happen, he had to solve some things first. And that included the loud pounding at his door.

The first person he saw was Reverend Lockwood, a man in his fifties with a big nose that hung over his face and a belly so full it should be shameful, who wore one of those awful white wigs that were supposed to make him above everyone else. He was - according to himself - the highest authority in town. He managed the church and was a self-named mayor since no one seemed to correct him or contradict him. Everyone in town seemed to follow his every command as if his words were sent from the highest power and he was the holiest man alive - although his two marriages and lord knows how many bastard children would likely say otherwise.

When Ashton first moved in with his wife, he was welcomed by Reverend Lockwood, but after Ashton rejected his invitation, it seemed like Lockwood’s new hobby was to hunt him down. And Ashton would bet his entire inheritance that he was the one spreading the rumors about him and his family just because he was not about to fall on his knees and adore this phony as all the other brainless townsfolk did.

Behind the Reverend, a mob stood proudly. All the men and a few of the women of the town looked at him in fear and anger. They were holding torches and chains, shovels and knives, ropes and bags. From the start, Ashton knew this was not a friendly visit, but for the first time, he allowed himself to see the seriousness of the situation.

Still, as politely as he could, he stood his ground and took a step forward. He was not about to welcome them into his house, let alone to let them think he was going to surrender, even if he had nothing to hide in the first place.

“Reverend Lockwood,” He said solemnly, acknowledging him with a nod and not even looking at the mob “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“A pleasure indeed, sir” Lockwood smirked “But I’m afraid it’ll be more for us than for yourself”

“I see you brought your crowd” Ashton dismissed his comment, finally addressing the others “It’s a shame you didn’t warn me in advance, Reverend, I would’ve prepared you some supper before whatever show you promised”

“Cut the act, Irwin” Lockwood spat “Despite what you might believe or make others believe, we know what you really are”

Ashton blinked twice at him, frowning as he crossed his arms over his chest and asked “And that is?”

“A monster!” Yelled one person in the crowd

“Murderer!” Yelled another

“Blasphemous!”

Reverend Lockwood stood there with a smile, Ashton just sighed.

“You are all gravely mistaken!” Ashton talked over the crowd, loud enough for everyone to hear but with no hint of anger in his voice “I am nothing but a man trying to live a happy life with his family. What sins have I committed that makes me different from any of you?” The whispers of the crowd were filled with hatred “Has your Lord taught you nothing with his words? Has the blinded faith you have over a man of flesh and bone prevented you from seeing beyond what you consider fair? Or did the poison of false words already do its job?”

“How dare-“

“No, Reverend, how dare you! Coming into my house to accuse me of such lies, burdening my family and all of these people who you claim to protect. I’ve done nothing but love my life as I seem fair, minding my own business. Something you, Reverend, could very much take as an example”

The way in which Lockwood’s jaw clenched at Ashton’s words gave him some sense of triumph. He knew there was nothing to fear, no crimes were committed nor moral laws were broken. He was a good man, not the monster they claim to know.

Still, it seemed that the trial wasn’t about to be over so soon.

“You deny the charges?” Lockwood asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“I deny them,” Ashton answered confidently, looking defiantly at the man in front of him.

“Then,” He asked, a taunting smirk starting at the corner of his lips “What about your wife?”

There was a change in the wind. Strong tides whistled around the silence and tension. The breaking of waves did nothing but simulate Ashton’s own shattering as the question sunk into the pit of his stomach.

His face turned as white as snow, swearing his heart started to beat slower. A fear, a horrifying feeling settled in his guts, in his chest. Rage.

“What about my wife?” Asked Ashton, voice commanding and grave. Never once taking his eyes from the puritan.

“You might deny your sins, Irwin. But you can’t deny hers”

“What sins?!” He shouted, feeling as if his body was nothing but a burning fire, ready to fight “She’s done nothing-!”

“I saw Mrs. Irwin dancing with the devil!” A voice cried from the crowd.

Ashton looked over Lockwood’s shoulders. Opening his mouth to speak but the shouting continued.

“I saw Mrs. Irwin crying tears of blood!”

“Mrs. Irwin made my house burn down, a deal with darkness! I saw it! She’s the devil’s wife!”

“Devil! Devil! Devil!”

The cries of the people were unstoppable, getting louder as they pound inside Ashton’s head. The feeling of drowning in mid-air caught him by surprise as his legs shook when he faced the crowd, looking frantically at them, begging them.

“N-no!” Ashton cried, shaking his head, but his voice died amid all the lies “No! You’re mistaken!”

How did it happen? His wife- his wife who has never left the manor. His wife whose smile could conquer the world and make the bravest man yield before her. His wife who’s the kindest, most beautiful soul he has ever met… Accused of witchcraft.

“Lockwood!” He cried, taking a step closer to the man until they were face to face, knowing how much that man was enjoying seeing him so desperate “You know those are all lies! You’ve known her! She would never-“

“I know what I know, sir” Lockwood answered gravely, but the tint of mockery in his eyes still shone through “And I know that I am a man of god. And if you were to say the same, you would let us make Justice in his name”

“I won’t let you do this!” Ashton told him, jaw tense and eyes filled with hate. The reverend scoffed.

“God doesn’t ask permission”

Ashton looked at him with disgust before grabbing the lapels of Lockwood’s shirt and bringing him closer “You are no god”

The reverend only smiled with sufficiency before he signaled the men of the mob. One, two, three… there were more than twenty by the time they came to the door. Ashton recognized them before three of them attempted to grab him.

He fought against them, throwing punches and kicks to slow them down. But every time he delivered a blow, three more would follow. They grabbed him by the jacket, by the shirt, and by the hair. They knocked down his knees and allowed him to fall to the ground before securing his hands behind his back.

Ashton watched with his face on the ground as ten men broke down the door to his home. Desperate tears escaped his eyes as the screams ripped through his throat.

“NO!” He would cry, trying to get away, but one of the men had his knee upon the small of his back, making it impossible for him to move “NO! LEAVE THEM ALONE!”

It was excruciating to listen to such heartbreaking screams. He called her name, bleeding through every word of warning, hoping she would listen and stay hidden.

“She’s with child! Leave her alone!” He’d beg to anyone who would listen, purposely ignoring the shattering sound coming from inside his home “Take me instead! Take me! Do what you want with me but leave them be!”

The man who was holding him down grabbed Ashton by the hair, pulling it until he was kneeling with his face directed at the reverend.

“There’s nothing you can do, Irwin,” Said Lockwood, looking expectantly at the manor “Just let the Justice make its path”

“This-” Ashton spat, “This is not justice!”

“Maybe not,” He admitted, “But it’s God’s will”

“Ashton!”

His wide eyes followed the sound, tears flooding his view as a wrenching scream passed his lips.

On top of the manor, in the window by the sea where he was standing mere minutes ago, he could see a white nightgown floating with the stormy breeze. There, his wife was standing at the edge, face red and puffy as the tears marked her cheeks. The wind caused her baby bump to be revealed against the soft fabric, an angelic sight for someone who was deemed to be anything but.

She yelled his name again, looking at him through the crowd. But she seemed tense, almost afraid to even look down. That’s when Ashton noticed the cut on her arm and the crimson blood dripping from her fingertips. Behind her, one of the men that invaded their home was holding her by the hair, tauntingly pulling and pushing just enough so she would believe she’d lose her balance and fall to the breaking of the waves against the rocks.

Ashton called her name, cried out for her, but to no avail. She would not hear him.

“NO!” Ashton trashed and turned, but more men came to hold him in place “Let her go! Take me! TAKE ME! LET HER GO! SHE’S HURT, SOMEONE HELP HER! LET HER GO!”

But the mayhem did not stop. The chants from the crowd grew louder when they noticed her upon the window. The storm gathered its strongest winds as the clouds clashed against one another. But all Ashton could hear besides his own screams was white noise.

He wanted nothing more than to be there with her. To cradle her face and wipe out those tears; kiss her as he promised her time and time again that they’ll get out of there as soon as they can. That their family will be safe.

Oh, how he wished he could go back in time. Wished he’d never left in the first place. Then they would not be trapped inside this nightmare, unable to wake up. He failed them, he failed her. “I’ll handle them,” He said, foolishly thinking he could protect her and their child. Now, as his heart threatens to come out of his body, there’s nothing he can do but beg to deaf ears and empty stares.

“Ashton!” She cried again, but the air in her lungs got stolen as a hand wrapped around her neck.

Her parted lips were all Ashton could focus on, the way in which she gasped for air and her hands found their way to sink her nails into her attacker’s arm, covering him with blood as well.

“NO!” He’d yelled, over and over again to no avail.

The whisper of his name crossed her lips when her eyes finally found him. He called out her name, bleeding through his throat and pain; his eyes never leaving her as he begged her for forgiveness. She looked at him with red, tearful eyes filled with something that could only be described as love. He knew what that look meant. He could not look away. Those were the eyes of the woman he loved, the look that only he would recognize among a thousand. He would not spare a moment away from them.

Even if that moment was taken away from them so abruptly.

Ashton watched the exact moment in which her eyes widened for the last time before they shut close. The last gasp that got trapped between her chest. A lonely tear ran down her cheek. And the amount of blood that sweeps from the horizontal cut across her throat, cleaning her from all of the sins she’s never committed.

Silence. That’s all it was.

Silence as her feet lost all support and slipped through the edge, making it seem as if she was the one taking the leap willingly. He wanted to run, foolishly thinking he could catch her before she hit the ground, hoping he could save her from the current nightmare of an endless void below. Yet, his feet were unable to leave the ground, feeling how his hope was falling with her, lost forever.

But all he could do was watch in slow motion as the white figure soared through the stormy winds one last time. Perfectly framed face covered by her hair, eyes closed and pink, parted lips, flying freely before the sea claimed her as his. Like an angel whose wings got stolen way too soon.

Silence. But not for long.

Legend has it that no cry was ever as broken as his. That the seas mourned with him and stood still for a moment, allowing him to try and take his own heart out of his chest, for that would hurt less than listening to the tragedy that tinted the night.

Thunder and lightning accompanied his lament, harmonizing with the sound of loss and heartbreak no man should ever feel. Like Orpheus who cried for Euridyce and won the sympathy of the gods; this cry would’ve broken their hearts.

Ashton fell forwards, curled in pain as the sobs got lost on the ground and were replaced by the naked anger of a man who just lost everything.

He looked up to see the reverend standing in front of him, the ghost of a smile forming on his lips, thinking he already won. Next thing he knew, everything went black.

*

The first thing he noticed was that he could not move his legs or arms. Something heavy was hanging from his ankles and he felt his body being carried over. Even when he opened his eyes he noticed the darkness, and when he tried to scream there was only a muffle coming through his ears. He could only guess by the pain in the back of his head, that he was being taken somewhere to die; he was blindfolded and gagged as if he would try to escape the fate he so longly awaited.

All Ashton could think was “Why am I not dead, yet?” He should be dead, it was obvious that the reverend would not let go of him so easily. But the thought that crossed through his mind almost instantly was that he wanted to be dead. He had nothing else to live for anymore.

There was an abrupt halt to every movement. Ashton could hear the sound of footsteps coming closer before he felt two sets of arms grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him to the ground. His knees scrapped the rocky surface, cutting through his skin. But he made no sound, no effort to be noticed.

The cold wind made him shiver, and aware that he was wearing just a thin shirt and raggy pants. The piece of fabric that gagged him cut through the corners of his mouth, making him savor the metallic taste of drying blood. He moved his hands, just enough to notice the burning of the ropes against his skin, and for his feet, he could only guess the same, though it felt heavier. He stayed on his knees for what felt like forever before his head was yanked back with a few strands of his hair, and suddenly he could see the clear skies again.

How long did he stay unconscious? He did not know, but it was enough for the storm to pass and show the full moon’s light. Ashton thought that it couldn’t possibly be enough. It’d never be enough.

Suddenly, the image of Reverend Lockwood appears before him. He was still wearing his wig and formal clothing. The same smug expression was drawn on his face. He needn’t say anything, he knew Ashton already guessed what was happening. Still, the young baron never took his eyes off of him, not once.

The wind grew stronger as the moon took the highest place of the night sky, witnessing as a young man didn’t fight as he was made to walk to the edge of a cliff, the sound of waves crashing below made him think of home.

“I thought it would be fitting,” The reverend said. Ashton didn’t answer.

Instead, Ashton looked at him, and everyone else present in their eyes, memorizing their faces and remembering the names of each and every single one of the people responsible for the death of his soul.

He stood straight, like a King. Never bowed or broke in front of his enemies. No one, not even Lockwood dared say a thing. The winds were changing once again, the minutes till midnight were counted and gone. And Ashton, in the silence of his heart, promised them that they will regret it. Every single one of them will regret it.

And with that, he took a step back. Feeling as the wind hit his back before he closed his eyes. The moon was the last thing he saw before everything turned black once more.

*

The water was cold as he sank.

The force of the hit made the knot on the gag lose, making the fabric float away as the water snuck inside his lungs. He kept on sinking.

The ties on his hands gave out as well as the ones on his feet. There was no resistance, only poor techniques.

The moonlight made the waters clear. Shinning above him. His hair framed his face as it floated gracefully. It was peaceful. Beautiful. Free

Twas the moon that saw his heart stop. The redness of the blood did not flow or pump. It was cold as the water surrounding him, as the beating slowed down with every moment of calmness that came with the ending of things. Until there was nothing but silence.

But when the blood turns as blue as ice, heart frozen. The cells in his bloodstream started to move backward, turning blue as the sea, craving for something to feed. Feeling like he could not breathe.

Eyes wide open in the middle of the sea.

*

No one talked about it out loud, but whispers only grow.

They knew what was coming for them. They were expecting it.

People tried to flee before, but he always found them.

It was always a mystery, they said, no one knew how those bodies were always found with such marks across their bodies, drained completely of any blood they might have left. Nobody had the same wounds; some would end up with broken backs; others with their heads turn the other side; people rumor about a man whose throat was cut in half, but there was no trail of blood, just an empty, open wound.

They all had the same marks upon their necks, though. Two small holes under their left ear were theorized to be left after continuous torture, a mark of the devil, perhaps. And not only that, but they all had another thing in common: They were all found in the morning with the most horrifying looks on their faces. Almost as if they’ve seen a ghost from the past that came back to haunt them.

The devil acted quietly and at night. One victim every forenight, no matter the gender. Only a few could be considered safe beside the children. But there was no denying that anyone could be next.

Some say that they saw the devil lurk in the darkness, with blue marks upon his veins on the inside of his arms and eyes glowing hazel in the dark. Others say that they saw him by the sea, sitting alone by the rocks under the abandoned manor. A few claim that they fought him and won, but no one believes them.

Reverend Lockwood always dismiss such rumors, smiling as he tried to reassure the people that nothing was wrong and that it was probably some children’s tale. But everyone in town knew how he locked all the doors and all the windows of his home before the night came.

Lockwood knew what was coming for him, he just didn’t know when. That’s until he learned about John Proctor’s death. There were no other men in town. The devil left him for last.

He was wise enough to send his family away before the night came. He locked all the doors and threw all the keys. He opened up his bible and held the crucifix on his chest, praying for salvation in a candlelight dimmed room.

The night was dark and quiet. The widows and orphans stopped crying about their losses a long time ago, the ones who dared to stay in the haunted town, at least. There were not many left, after all, but there were enough to remember what happened for years and years to come.

Silent prayers were the only sound that could be heard that fateful night. But meaningless words as the ones the reverend recited were of not much help, for a quarter past ten, the wind began to change.

“Our father, who art in-” The sound of a stomp made his skin crawl “H-h-heaven! Hallowed be th-thy name-” Goosebumps aroused at the flickering on the candle “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as-”

“There is no Heaven for people like you, Lockwood”

The voice echoed through the walls. The few patches of hair the reverend still had on his head perked up in fear as the crucifix slid from his fingers and fell to the ground.

“No, n-no, please!” He begged, looking frantically around the dark room.

“You knew I was coming,” The voice continued, making the old reverend’s heart go faster and faster “You should feel honored, actually, to be deemed this important”

“I- I don’t understand!” Lockwood cried “It can’t be! I forbid it! In the name of God”

The voice laughed, suddenly sounding closer.

“Oh, Lockwood, you can’t forbid anything here. After all, god does not ask for permission”

The light of the candle died in a second, suffocated by the sudden lack of oxygen in the room. Then, in the corner, standing very still with a smile plastered on his face, stood the devil himself.

Lockwood, frightened at the image, fell from his chair and into the ground, opening his mouth to speak but without any noise coming out as he dragged himself to the opposite corner of the room.

The same man that he’s seen jump out of the cliff not so long ago was standing in front of him. Clothes as dark as night; his long hair perfectly combed and styled; a silver necklace with two simple bands hanging from his chest; hazel eyes shining like a predator who’s just caught its prey… So beautifully twisted it was impossible to put into words. He hadn’t changed a thing except for his smile, so charming; so frightening; so cruel and deadly.

It was not a normal smile, no, it was the smile of the devil.

“No…”

In an instant, Ashton was standing in front of the frightened man, grabbing him by the lapels of his shirt and picking him up from the ground with a newfound strength he rather enjoyed.

“I am god,” Ashton smiled “And this is my justice”

*

When they found Reverend Lockwood’s body the next day, it was rather unusual.

The body still had marks all over it; the cross embedded and burned in the flesh of the dead man’s chest was certainly a novelty, and the face of horror was similar to the ones seen in the previous victims. It was the blood that threw people off.

This time the killer did not drain the victim’s blood as it usually did. For whatever reason, that might be, although people do claim it was because it was tainted, and the killer had some sort of dignity or whatnot. Instead, the blood was smeared all over the wall, spelling the message:

“This is god’s will”

*

2022

“For the thousandth time, Luke. If you’re going to convince a girl to give you her number, you should not read her fucking mind first” Ashton sighed over the phone, having had this conversation countless times.

It was another sunny day in L.A. Ashton found he likes it way more than the grey clouds of London where he spent the last portion of the twentieth century - It was the music that drew him in when the Beatles first started, but it can get quite boring after a few decades. He’d just gone on his daily coffee run, catching up with Calum that just moved in closer to him after spreading some mayhem in the southern part of the continent. And now he was trying to convince Luke, once again, that when girls say they like someone who could read their mind, they do not mean it literally.

“It didn’t work out last time, so what makes you think it’ll work this time?”

He passed the bookstore that Michael owns, saying hi to him as he walked passed the window, but not daring to come in while there were customers. He did, though, checked himself out on the reflection. Whoever said that beings like him can not see their reflection or walk under the sun was gravely mistaken.

After two centuries he still didn’t look a day older than twenty-eight. His hair was shorter now and his skin was adorned with tattoos that healed way too quickly and served to hide those blue marks of his veins. The only thing that changed was the lack of beating of his heart but, well, no one needed to know that.

He caught a glimpse of the two dangling rings on his necklace and let a sudden moment of nostalgia run through his mind, as a small, sad smile crossed his lips. After all, not all wounds can be healed with time.

“Yeah, Luke, I gotta go” He sighed, walking away from the man in the reflection “We can talk about it tonight, alright? Just, stay away from her childhood memories. You’ll thank me later”

He hung up the phone just in time for the crosswalk light to turn red, so he waited, not really paying attention to his surroundings when all of the sudden, a door opens across the street.

It was a quick glance. One of those that makes you take a double look. But it was gone the moment Ashton recognized it. He took a step forward, but the loud horn of a Tesla that was about to run him over, made him take a step back and let his coffee cup fall to the ground.

A sudden desperation took over him, cranking his neck up to see beyond the passing cars. He had to make sure it was really-

“No,” He thought “It can’t be-? No, but what if-?”

The light turned green and Ashton started to run. He would push past the people walking in the opposite direction, mumbling apologies as his senses heightened. Which way? Who? What? Where?

He was about to give up when all of the sudden he spotted it: the same shade of hair color, shining under the sun in the middle of sunset boulevard.

For the first time in nearly two hundred years, Ashton shivered. A pit of emptiness filled his stomach as he gathered enough courage to approach and- and do what? Well, it didn’t matter at this point, given that he was already walking toward this person, and before he knew it, his hand was on their shoulder.

“Hey, I-”

It has been a while since Ashton was left completely breathless by someone. But this wasn’t just anyone. The hair, the face, the eyes… oh, those eyes. He would always remember those eyes, that look, how they shined in the darkness. How many nights he spent forcing himself to remember them, even at his lowest he knew those eyes would pull him through anything. And now…

“I found you,” He whispered

“Excuse me?” The girl he’d unconsciously - consciously - stalked looked at him quizzically, ready to take out her pepper spray at any minute.

It took Ashton a second to realize that he was a complete stranger. He immediately took a step back.

“Oh shit,” He said, laughing and blushing awkwardly but without being able to take his eyes off of this girl “I’m sorry, I- I thought you were- Thought I recognize you from somewhere”

The girl rolled her eyes “Let me guess, from a dream?” She mocked.

“Uh, do guys actually use that line?”

“I don’t know, you tell me, stranger” She shrugged, ready to walk away again.

“W-wait!” Ashton hated how needy he sounded. But he can’t let this go just yet, not if it really is her “I’m sorry, I’m a dick. I shouldn’t have scared you, I promise I’m not a-” The girl raised an eyebrow at him “You just seem very familiar. May I ask your name? If that’s okay, I don’t want to make you even more uncomfortable”

The girl seemed to relax a bit more, and Ashton smiled at that.

“I’m Y/N, and you’re not a dick” She sighed “I’m just new to the city and you never know who’s a creep and whatnot”

“Y/N…” Ashton repeated, loving the way it rolled off his lips with such ease “I’m Ashton,”

He extended his hand and she took it, shaking it lightly. And for that brief moment, the wind started to change. A new hope settled inside his chest.

Y/N took her hand off first, but the touch still lingered. He knew she felt it, too.

Ashton cleared his throat “So! What brings you to the land of opportunities?”

“The same thing as always, I guess, to find that opportunity and make something out of myself” She smiled “Not more interesting than the next person, I’m afraid”

“Oh, I bet you are quite interesting,” Ashton rushed to say, blushing immediately “I- I mean, I can tell that you’re a very interesting person, Y/N. Not at all like other girls!”

“Wow, you really said that at loud, huh”

Ashton looked embarrassed “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He sighed “Sorry, I’m just not very good at- well,”

“Flirting?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while”

“How long?”

He laughed “A lifetime, probably even more”

Y/N squinted her eyes at him, almost as if she was analyzing him. Ashton couldn’t help but smile, his wife used to do the same thing when she knew something was up with him.

“Alright,”

“Alright?” He asked, confused.

“We can go for coffee”

“We can?”

“If you want,” She shrugged, but Ashton could tell she was nervous as well. He smiled widely.

“I do!” He said, eagerly “Mine actually fell a few streets down and I couldn’t even taste it”

“A tragedy!” Y/N gasped mockingly, smiling right at him “Then, it’s my treat. And maybe I can give you some pointers on how to flirt with strangers”

Ashton smiled as they started walking side by side “I would love that, actually”

“Okay, first up: Don’t just approach strangers on the street. How do I know you won’t drain my blood or something?”

A nervous laugh escaped his lips, but he covered it up with a cough “So why are you inviting me for coffee then? If you’re not sure I won’t do that”

Y/N shrugged as she looked at him with familiar eyes “I don’t know. You seem…familiar. Maybe we met in another life”

“Yeah,” Ashton smiled, “Maybe”

*

*

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#ashton irwin #5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin angst #suchalonelysunflower #ashton irwin 5sos #5sos ashton #ashton 5sos #5 seconds of summer ashton #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos fic #5sos series #ashton fic #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin fanfiction #5sos5 #new fic #ashton x you #ashton x reader #ashton irwin fanfic #5 seconds of summer fanfiction

[talkfastromance4]

Older--Ashton Irwin oneshot

a/n: this idea popped in my head when I heard this song, it's so beautiful.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: Angst, Big Sad, major character death, mentions of BRCA genes, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, difficult pregnancy, sadness. Please read with caution, this is a heavy one

feedback is always welcome!💕

They’re sitting on the swing of their porch at the lake house watching the ducks swim across the lake, the ripples shimmering in the setting sun. y/n shivers and rests her head on Ashton’s shoulder as he tugs the blanket around her more securely. He continues to glide the swing with gentle pushes of his feet on the faded white wooden boards. 

Today was a good day. They woke up, he made breakfast while they sat outside and listened to the forest wake up until Alma finally awoke. The three of them went for a walk, a short one, with Alma settled comfortably on Ashton’s shoulders. He held y/n’s hand tightly as Alma pointed out every song from the birds. While they walked, Ashton and y/n reminisced on how they met. 

It was plucked from the scene of a movie, they were both reaching for the same book on the shelf. It was about getting intune with your feelings and thoughts, but of course, it was the last available copy. He giggled and she liked the sound when he said she should take it. She offered to share it once she’s finished and he liked her kindness. 

They agreed to come back to the bookstore in a month to exchange it. When he asked for her number she told him it would be in the book.

A month went by and they met at the bookstore. When it was in his possession he noticed the dog eared pages as he flipped through it. There were highlights and written notes in the margins. He searched the front and the back for her name and number but came up empty.

“I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Have a good read.”

“Wait, that’s it? I thought I’d get your number at least or talk about the book.” He was disappointed she wanted to leave so soon.

“My number’s in there,” she nodded. “We can’t talk about it when you haven’t read it yet. Text me when you’re finished.”

He flipped through the pages again but didn’t find any digits. He’d have to read through it to find it.

“Wait! What’s your name?” he called as she almost walked out the door.

“Books are the source of knowledge,” she smiled then left onto the sidewalk.

He never read a book faster in his life. But Ashton also paused to read her thoughts in the margins and wrote down her highlighted phrases in his own journal. It wasn’t until page 237 that her name and number were written at the end of a chapter. He folded the page in half so he could find it right away when he finished; he wanted to text her right away but he wanted to keep his side of the bargain. 

 Once finished, he surprised her by calling instead of texting. He was disappointed that he got her voicemail but he left one anyway. y/n called back and they made a plan to meet that weekend to discuss the book over some coffee.

They went on many dates after that and by the sixth month she dropped a bombshell on him. She told him she has the BRCA gene and has decided to undergo a double mastectomy to help prevent the gene forming into breast cancer. She wanted Ashton to be aware and that this can end with no hard feelings but he interrupts her.

“Why would I want this to end?”

“Because I’ll be going through a lot, and it’s not your responsibility.”

“I want to help, in any way I can.”

“Ashton, I can’t ask you to do that–”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. I don’t want this to end, y/n,” he reached over to hold her hand. “I’m in this for the long haul.”

After more conversations, he helped her prepare for the surgery. He sat in the waiting room with Calum by his side. Ashton was right there when she woke up along with her parents (who he just met that morning). He helped her at home and with her exercises. He took her to checkups and when she had reconstruction surgery.

The first time they slept together took a few tries because y/n felt like an alien in her own body with her new breasts but Ashton was very patient with her. It was slow and loving and Ashton knew right as she fell asleep tucked against his chest, that he wanted to be with her forever.

“Ash?” she whispered and it pulled him from his reverie of memories. 

“Yeah angel?”

“Can we go inside? I’m getting cold.”

He helps her stand and they slowly walk inside to see Alma–recently turned five– is eating breakfast with Calum and his wife Ida.

“Everything okay?” Calum asks in concern.

“She’s cold,” Ashton nods and they continue their slow shuffle towards the bedroom.

“Hi mommy! I’m eating all my pancakes!” Alma waves her fork with a pancake stuck to it in the air.

“That’s so good, honey, mommy’s proud of you,” y/n smiled and Ashton felt her body shake. 

He helps her into their bed and drapes more blankets over her because she’s trembling so badly. 

“How’s that, my love?” he asks touching her cheek. It’s cold. 

“Better,” she smiled sleepily. “Did we bring the photo album?”

“We brought everything,” he nods. “Want me to get it?”

The photo album is large and heavy in his arms as he brings it over to the bed. He settles in next to her and her head falls on his chest like always and he flips through the first couple of pages. y/n loved taking photos of everything. They could take a day trip somewhere and she’d have a hundred new photos in her phone of flowers, sceneries, signs, and of Ashton. It was a book of their love shared together.

From their first dates to her progress photos from her first surgery, her growing belly that held Alma and everything in between. She pointed at each photo and rekindled a memory that Ashton knew like the back of his hand but he loved listening to her retelling of it.

It’s photos of concerts, vacations, silly photos with food on their faces and then the day she told him she was pregnant. It wasn’t planned at all and they’d only been together a year and a half but they were both so happy. 

“You tried to give me an out with that, too,” Ashton accused lovingly and kissed the top of her head. 

“I gave you a lot of curveballs,” she sighs and nestles into his shoulder more. “This page is my favorite.”

Her small hand stops his from turning the page. It’s full of photos of them dancing together; at weddings, at birthdays, on the beach. In some, they’re gazing into each other’s eyes but more often than not, her head is resting on his shoulder while their hands are clasped together against their hearts. His cheek resting on top of her head.

The next section is dedicated to Alma. It was a rough pregnancy for y/n because her immune system wasn’t all that good to begin with. She had to take more vitamins than the usual pregnant woman had to but Ashton helped her with that as well. She even had to get fluids because her body wasn’t keeping her hydrated. He pauses on a photo of her in the hospital with a bright smile on her face.

They met with her doctor on an almost weekly basis to make sure things were progressing okay. Her doctors were all surprised she became pregnant so easily in the first place and predicted the pregnancy wouldn’t be an easy one. 

They were right.

The morning sickness lasted longer than normal and she had to be hospitalized a few times for that because she couldn’t keep anything down. Ashton hated seeing her like that and wished he could take away her pain, he saw how much it took out of her but she always had a smile on her face whenever she spoke of the baby.

“I hope he looks like you and has your dimples,” she’d say.

“What if it’s a girl?”

“I hope she has your dimples,” she smiled.

The doctor recommended it wasn’t too late to terminate the pregnancy as an option if she didn’t want to keep going through this and that made y/n irate. 

“No, I can do this. I want to have this baby, I’m strong enough. I can handle it.”

It sounded to Ashton that she was convincing herself more than the doctor.

“No one is questioning your strength, love,” Ashton rubbed at her hands that always seemed cold to the touch. “It’s just an option so your body doesn’t have to go through these risks. You have eggs frozen, right? We can get a surrogate or adopt–”

“Ashton, I want this baby. I know it’s an option and I appreciate the knowledge of it but I can’t–the baby is healthy and that’s all that matters.”

“Okay. I support you no matter what,” he nodded and the doctor never recommended it again to respect her wishes. He also made sure to keep y/n comfortable. 

When the morning sickness ended y/n and Ashton both thought they were in the clear and on a good incline for the rest of the pregnancy. But then she got gestational diabetes and they had to check her blood sugar every couple of hours.

“I’m sorry I’m such a hassle,” she told him one night while he pricked her to check her levels. 

“You aren’t a hassle at all,” he shook his head. 

“You’re with me around the clock, you haven’t written any music and it’s all my fault–”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he hushed as she began to sob. She was very emotional these days because of her hormones. “Nothing is your fault, okay? I love being with you and taking care of you. I love you, y/n. Just me, just you.”

She had to be bedridden for the last month of the pregnancy and a nurse would come by the house in the morning and at night to check on her. When it came time for the labor it was very swift and unproblematic at all which was a blessing and a huge relief. And their baby girl entered into the world.

Ashton cried when he first saw Alma, a name chosen by y/n because it means nourishing, kind, and soul. Alma was an exact replica of y/n. 

“Marry me,” he said above Alma’s hat covered head.

“Okay,” y/n looked up and smiled at him.

Not long after Alma was born, Ashton and y/n were sitting in the doctor’s office. Alma slept soundly in her carrier on the floor, Ashton and y/n’s hands were holding tightly to each other. They were told Alma would more than likely be the only baby y/n could ever carry because her body couldn’t handle the added stressors of another pregnancy. At her last ultrasound, they found something in her uterus and on her pap smear that came up as precancerous. y/n would need a hysterectomy to make sure it doesn’t spread and progress throughout her body. 

Ashton covered his face with his free hand and y/n tried to comfort him. The doctor gave them some privacy.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. People get hysterectomies all the time and they’re fine,” she soothed as his body shook with his sobs. 

“I hate seeing you go through pain like this again and again,” he sniffed and she wiped at his tears.

“It’ll be okay, I promise. Like you said, we can get a surrogate. I’m just glad I got to carry our sweet Alma.” She gave him that smile that won him over so many months ago. It seems like a different lifetime. 

“God, how can you be so positive still? It’s incredible and kind of annoying,” he shook his head and she laughed.

“I’ve dwelled in my sadness so much in the past that I choose not to anymore. And how can I be sad when I have you and Alma? We’ll get through this, honey.”

Her parents came for the surgery and to help with Alma while Ashton aided her during recovery. Recovery took eight weeks, which is two weeks longer than the normal recovery period because she got an infection. The guys helped out as well and made sure they were eating by setting up a meal plan.

Once y/n was recovered fully, she was a completely different person. She barely got a cold and right after Alma’s first birthday, y/n and Ashton finally got married. It was a very last minute ordeal because they both couldn’t wait anymore. Planning took three days but their friends and family helped. Crystal was in charge of caters and the decorations in the backyard. Sierra and Ida–she was only Calum’s girlfriend then–got the dress and flowers. 

Michael officiated the wedding and Alma was walked down the aisle by y/n’s mother. Ashton could barely get through his part of the vows when he had to say ‘in sickness and in health’ because he hoped and prayed and wished with everything in him that y/n would never have to endure another sickness again. y/n held his hands and waited patiently until he finally got the vows out. They kissed and danced under the white canopy tent in their bare feet as Luke and Sierra sang a duet. 

It was the perfect wedding. 

More pages of the album showed memories of taking Alma to the zoo, to the park, to her first concert which was of her daddy playing the drums. There were more birthdays, a trip to Disney World, holidays and then a ton more when they bought the house on the lake. They spent every summer here swimming and taking Alma on the boat. 

Shortly after Alma’s fourth birthday, Ashton saw a shift in y/n and as he flipped through the photo album he could physically see it in the photos as well. y/n lost weight at a rapid rate, she barely ate and he finally begged and begged enough that she went to see her doctor. 

They were struck with horrible news again.

“How could she have ovarian cancer when you already did the hysterectomy? I thought doing that was supposed to prevent cancer,” Ashton was furious and y/n rubbed at his hand trying to soothe him. 

They were told with treatment she could lessen it but her doctor still gave her a year. Ashton wouldn’t accept that. He was angry and scared so y/n agreed to the treatment to try and alleviate Ashton. 

He didn’t break down in front of her. It wasn’t until Luke and Sierra sang a new song ‘Older’ that they wrote together and that finally did him in because he didn’t want to get older without y/n by his side. His meltdown over the song forced him to tell Calum, Michael and Luke about y/n’s recent diagnoses. All three of them cried with Ashton and sat in silence trying to keep their brother afloat. 

While y/n was undergoing treatment, she didn’t get to go to Calum and Ida’s wedding but she heard all about it from Alma who was their flower girl. 

A month before Alma’s fifth birthday, Ashton and y/n spoke with her oncologist again to see how the treatment was going. He gave them a somber expression, his eyes slid to y/n and she nodded in understanding but Ashton was confused. 

“What?”

y/n turned to him with tears in her eyes, her voice shook when she answered, “this is it, honey.

It took him a while before her words finally sunk in. He denied it. He shouted. He threw a rampage on the doctor’s desk by knocking things off of it until y/n grabbed him and pulled him back into his chair. She caressed his cheek, tears streaming down both of their faces. 

“I am deeply, deeply sorry y/n. You are the strongest person I’ve seen with such a great outlook on everything despite what you’ve gone through. You have no idea how much I hoped that this treatment would work for you. I wish I could give you five more years.”

“She deserves all of the years,” Ashton said and concentrated on the grooves of her hands. 

“How much time?” y/n sniffed.

“Six months, maybe a year but that’s a stretch. We can set plans up that will leave you comfortable, whether that be at home, or here. I will do everything I can and that you want.”

“Thank you.”

That night, Ashton and y/n made love and he wasn’t as gentle as he should have been but he didn’t hurt y/n. She knew he was hurting and she wanted to take it away for him, much like how he always wanted to take away the pain she endured. He made love to her passionately, it was as if he was wishing all of his love he was pouring into her would be enough to keep her here with him.

She held him tightly and tenderly as he cried on her shoulder when they laid together after.

“I want you to do something for me,” she whispered in his hair.

“Anything.”

“I don’t want you to waste away when it’s over and I’m gone. You need to take care of Alma and I want you to be happy, okay? I want you to fall in love with someone who will take care of you the way you took care of me.”

“I don’t want anyone else. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and needed.”

y/n cried into his hair and they held each other, neither one of them wanting to talk about a future that now has an expiration date.

When they explained it to Alma, she was silent as her four year old mind tried to comprehend it. She understood her mommy was sick and that one day she wouldn’t be sick anymore but that means she wouldn’t be here with Alma and Ashton. 

“I don’t want you to go, mommy,” Alma cuddled into her. They brought her onto their bed to tell her the news, it was the space she ran to whenever she was scared of storms. It was the space she came to feel safe when she had a nightmare. 

“I know baby, I don’t want to go either. But when I’m all better, I won’t be too far from you. I’ll be up at the lake house, I’ll be in the water and the sun and in all the birds that sing to you in the morning and at night.”

y/n wrote letters and cards to everyone explaining her love for them. She wrote a letter for each year of Alma’s life that y/n would miss, her birthdays, her graduation, her wedding day, the day she became a mother. She wrote one's for Ashton’s birthdays and their anniversaries. She even wrote special ones for when he wouldn’t know what to do when Alma has a crush or when she gets her first period. She told him where the box of letters and cards were along with the photo album. 

They got one last good day together and it was on Alma’s birthday. Ashton and y/n almost forgot she was sick again because that day was so full of love and laughter and so much life. y/n decided she wanted her last days to be at the lake house. 

So, they packed up their things and left with Calum and Ida who agreed to come and help with Alma. They had a few more good days but they soon became far and in between. It was two months later when y/n started to get sick and she’d go days without eating. Her eyes darkened from her body shutting down and she didn’t want Alma to see and be frightened so Ida would put concealer on to hide the darkness that never disappeared. 

“I love you so much, Ashton,” she said when they finished looking through the photo album. “You are the greatest love of my life and I wish I could have met you sooner.”

“I wish that, too. But I wouldn’t trade the days and years I’ve had with you. You’re the love of my life and no one will ever compare.”

“I want to sleep now, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” he kissed her head and hummed until she fell asleep.

***

A few days later she regained some of her strength and they danced in the living room with everyone over. The nurse recommended friends and family stay close when she’d come to check on y/n and administer with fluids and pain medication. Her parents flew in and so did Ashton’s mom and siblings.

The lake house was full of people and their bedroom became more crowded with machines to help y/n feel more comfortable. 

“Ashton…” she croaked one morning and he could tell in her voice and by her eyes that today was the day. 

He put on a brave face and told their families. He called the nurse to come by and stay to help y/n and he called her oncologist to let him know that it was almost time. While he made those phone calls y/n was saying goodbye in their bedroom. Tears were shed and hearts were breaking all around. 

Alma could sense something was off and clung to Ashton’s leg while he made calls.

“Daddy, I’m scared,” she told him and he looked into her eyes. y/n’s eyes. She was the perfect replica of y/n and it filled Ashton with joy and an irrevocable sadness.

“I know my love,” he hugged her close, “I’m scared too. But we can be brave for mommy, right? Remember how she told you one day she’ll be better but can’t be with us anymore?” Alma nodded. “Well, today is that day. Your mommy isn’t going to be sick anymore.”

“Does she hurt when she’s sick?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t want my mommy to hurt anymore.”

“Me either sweetheart,” Ashton choked out and hugged her even tighter to his chest. 

When it’s their turn to go inside, y/n has the biggest smile when she sees Alma.

“There’s my sweet girl!”

Alma climbed onto the bed and Ashton sat on the other side of y/n holding her hand as Alma settled against her mother. She breathed in deeply as y/n rocked her back and forth, stroking her cheek and brushing at her hair. It was a ritualistic habit she’s done ever since Alma was a baby.

“Mommy, are you going to be better now?”

y/n’s eyes met Ashton’s and he saw the tears well in them. 

“Yeah baby, I’m going to be better real soon. You know what that means, right?”

“You won’t be with me and daddy anymore,” Alma sniffed. “Can’t you stay?”

“Oh, I wish I could honey. I never want to be a day without you but remember when else I said? I won’t ever be far away from you. I’ll be in here,” she touched Alma’s head, “and here,” and touched her heart, “and everywhere you look. You and daddy are going to be just fine, okay?”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m your mom, and no matter what your daddy says, I’m always right.”

“You are always right,” Ashton smiled.

“See? I love you so, so much, Alma. Don’t you ever forget that.”

Alma sobs into y/n’s chest and y/n holds her tight whispering soothing words and humming a song in between. 

“You are the best thing I’ve ever done in this world.”

“I love you forever mommy.”

“Forever and ever and ever,” y/n whispers back then nods to Ashton.

Ashton has to pry Alma from her mother’s grasp but he knows it’s almost time and he wants Alma to remember y/n this way. Alma kicks at Ashton until y/n’s mother comes in to take her from the room. They hear Alma shouting from beyond the door and Ashton falls to his knees by their bed. 

y/n rubs at his hair and hugs him the best she can, letting him cry on the blanket.

“You’ve held on for so long,” she whispers to him. “You can let it all out now.”

When he’s finished and his eyes are bloodshot, he crawls onto the bed carefully so he doesn’t disturb the wires and tubing that are hooked up to her. Their arms are entangled and she rests her head against his neck. 

“Can you feel it?” he asks after a while.

“Yes.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Like I’m going to finally have rest,” she sighs. 

They talk and look through the album some more and the nurse comes in to give her some more pain medication then leaves them alone once more. Ashton pets her hair and kisses her eyelids, memorizing all of her features that he has memorized time and time again. He feels her relax as the medicine kicks in, her breath has become more even.

“My dear devoted delicate,” she whispers and tilts her head up. “Kiss me.”

He gives her the softest brush of his lips against hers, it tastes like salt and love. She’s still so fragile and weak that he’s scared to hurt her. 

“You and Alma are my life and my love” she says on his lips.

“And you’re mine, forever and ever.”

“Sing to me, please.”

He cradles her head close so he’s singing directly to her, his thumb strokes at her cheek.

“I don’t want to get older, without your head on my shoulder…on the day that you leave me I’ll forever be bleeding love…it’s not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two, just me…just you…just me…just you…”

He felt her slip away as he repeated the last few words, his singing shifted to whispers as the door opened and her nurse walked in to monitor the machine. Their loved ones stood outside the door as Ashton held onto her, singing and humming with the monitor slowing, slowing, slowing….

He felt her last breath, an exhale that sounded like his name. A last declaration of her love was expelled into the universe and Ashton’s world spun slower until it finally stopped when her head fell onto his shoulder one last time.

A Year Later

Ashton always wakes up before the sun and he wanted to make sure he’d wake Alma up at just the right time so she’d see the sunset with him. It’s their first time benign back at the lake and it’s been exactly one year since y/n passed. He couldn’t find it in himself to sleep in their room so he slept on the couch then he’d be able to hear Alma if one of her nightmares woke her up.

The first couple months without y/n were the worst of his life. Alma had night terrors as soon as the funeral was over. It was a lovely service and Ashton abided by all of y/n’s wishes. There were momentous amounts of flowers, a dozen photo boards and her favorite music playing over the speakers but as the final song she requested he play ‘When I’m Gone’ by Joey + Rory.

Ashton held it together until that very moment because he hadn’t heard that song since y/n played it for him when they were discussing her wishes. Alma climbed in his lap and they hugged each other tight, crying together.

Since her funeral, Alma couldn’t sleep and when she did she’d have terrible nightmares. She described them as dark shapes and seeing y/n but that ‘mommy was scary.’ Alma slept with Ashton in his bed for the first six months but each night got a little better and she can sleep in her own bed now. 

He’s just finished pouring hot milk over the hot cocoa mix when he hears the door to her room open and Alma’s little feet smack on the floor.

“Daddy?”

“In the kitchen, peanut,” he calls to her and adds in the mini marshmallows. They always share a cup of coffee and cocoa together in the morning. 

She steps in front of him, her Little Mermaid nightgown reaching just below her knees with a teddy bear that was y/n’s growing up held tightly against her chest. She’s rubbing at her eyes.

“Good morning,” Ashton smiles softly. “How did you sleep?”

“Good. I saw mommy and she was happy we’re here.”

“You did? That’s wonderful. How about we go for a walk in the woods like we did with mommy after we watch the sun come up and eat breakfast?”

“Yeah!”

“It’s almost time, let’s head out on the porch. Can you grab that big blanket over there?” He nods to the large quilt that was made from patches of pictures of y/n. It was a gift given to Ashton and Alma for Christmas and they always snuggled underneath it when they’d talk about y/n. 

“I’m strong, I got it!” she squeals and hefts the large blanket in her little arms.

“That’s my girl,” Ashton smiles, “come on.” 

Once they’re outside on the porch, Ashton drags over the bench so they can set their mugs on it. He brought the photo album out too so he and Alma can look at it while the sun comes up. Alma hops on the swing and Ashton settles the quilt over them.

“There we go, nice and cozy, right?” he asks hugging her close and kisses the top of her head. 

“Yeah,” Alma smiles and stares out at the lake. A lone duck skirts onto the water. “Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“I feel like mommy’s here.”

“I feel that too, peanut. But she’s always with us because we carry her in our hearts.”

“Where do you see her? ‘Cause I see her in the flowers at home and when it’s sunny while it rains.”

“I see her in everything, but I mostly see her in you,” Ashton pokes her nose. “You look just like your mommy, Alma.”

“I do?” she perks up at that.

“You definitely do,” he grins.

They stare out at the water watching the duck swim lazily through the water and the sun starts to peek over the trees. The sky is a brilliant orange and extends out in pinks and blues, the sun is chasing away the night. A mockingbird begins to sing somewhere amongst the trees and a breeze brushes his cheek. 

“Hi my love,” he murmurs knowing it’s y/n. 

He feels her all around this place and at first, he thought he’d come here and realize he hates it and never return. The first night was rough for sure but sitting out here with Alma fills him with peace. He looks down at his daughter and sees her strength and all her love exuding out of her, traits she inherited from y/n. He kisses the top of her head. 

“Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you sing the song mommy always liked?”

Ashton sucks in a breath, he hasn’t played that song since y/n’s death and the guys were more than understanding to not play it in front of him. It was a beautiful song but it just hurt too much. Gazing into Alma’s eyes and seeing y/n staring back at him…how could he refuse? 

“Of course I can,” he says and clears his throat, “I don’t want to get older without your head on my shoulder, on the day that you leave me I’ll forever be bleeding love…it’s not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two, just me…just you…” 

While he was singing y/n’s favorite parts of the song, Alma rested her head on Ashton’s shoulder. He may not grow older with y/n, but he’ll get to see his little girl grow up.

“Just me…just you…”

Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower​ @mymindwide @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @hellasblessed @gwynethhberdara @in-a-world-of-fandoms @blairscott

#ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwing writing #ashtong angst #ashton 5sos writing #5sos writing #ashton fic #ashton irwin fanfic #5sos fanfic

[difeisheng]

Fang Duobing wakes up with the dawn on the five thousandth morning since his life fractured, then restarted, and there is silver in Di Feisheng's hair.

"Go back to sleep," he feels Di Feisheng rumble, where Fang Duobing's chest is pressed to his back. His hand doesn't pause, continuing to feel through the long river of Di Feisheng's hair. He can't help it, that it's still striking even after these years since the first hint of grey appeared. Early light glows through the window, glinting off the streak woven in through the dark strands. Vein of precious metal set in stone.

Di Feisheng has survived four decades of defiant existence in this world, and now he wears something proud to show for it.

"You're getting old," Fang Duobing says, and smiles into the back of Di Feisheng's neck. "What happened to rising with the sun to train every morning?"

"You and your sleeping in happened, you spoiled brat." The words are softened by the fact that Di Feisheng doesn't counter the hand Fang Duobing moves from his hair to his waist, only letting out a deep sigh. "And now you won't even let me do that."

"It's called having variation. Keeps you sharp."

"Keeps me tired."

"You'll start getting slow next if you settle into your ways like this, lao-lang."

"If you insist on calling me old, then you should have some respect for your elders," Di Feisheng declares, and now Fang Duobing can hear the glare in his voice. "Be quiet."

Fang Duobing has cheerfully never listened to this particular request, and isn't about to start now. "I show my respect for you nearly every day. Maybe you'd even call it appreciation." He lets his hand on Di Feisheng's waist drift lower, under the blanket thrown over both of them. "I could demonstrate again though, if you'd like?"

This time Di Feisheng catches him, gently dragging his hand away before Fang Duobing can reach for his trousers. "Later," he says, and the words are low enough to be a growl. "Go. Back. To. Sleep."

"Fine." Fang Duobing replaces his hand, arm reaching over Di Feisheng's torso instead. Di Feisheng's own hand stays curled overtop his, stilling as Fang Duobing settles down again behind him, sword calluses rough against his knuckles. "But I'll hold you to it."

It's impulse that causes Fang Duobing to brush at Di Feisheng's hair one last time, sweeping the silver aside to touch his lips to his neck.

Di Feisheng is, seemingly, by the fall of his breath and the curve of his body into Fang Duobing's, already asleep once more.

#yes i do mean the nickname as in 老狼 #also hi. the prompt i gave myself for this was just 'write difang happy' #and get myself out of my usual angst/bittersweet territory #so here we are #mysterious lotus casebook #difang #di feisheng #fang duobing #ashton writes fic #fic

[awaytobeunshaken]

Orym grunts as Ashton’s fingers dig under his armor, lifting him off the ground and pinning him against a nearby tree. “This needs to fucking stop. Every damn fight we’re in anymore it’s like you’re fucking trying to get yourself killed.”

“I’m just… trying… to keep… everyone safe.”

“No, I’m trying to keep everyone safe.” And Ashton increases the pressure on Orym’s chest just a little. “And that’s a lot harder when the guy who’s supposed to be helping me with that has a fucking death wish.” They let Orym go, not fully releasing their hold until his feet are touching the ground, but not bothering to be gentle about the descent either.

“I dont… have…” he starts, rubbing the spot on his chest where Ashton’s knuckles had dug in. “You know what’s at stake here. I’m not trying to get killed. But I swore I would see this through, and I don’t think we can afford to hold back anymore.”

“You’re so fucking selfish.” Orym opens his mouth to protest but Ashton continues, “You know what it’s like to lose people. How can you be so casual about doing that to someone else?”

Orym stands to his full three foot three and drives a fist into Ashton’s thigh. “Fuck you. I lost everything that day. This isn’t the same and you know it.”

Ashton keeps his gaze fixed at his own eye level. “Yeah, and you’re so fucking sure of that, aren’t you?”

“Ash?” Orym swallows and looks up. “What…”

“Forget it. It’s not like I expect this to go anywhere, or need it to. But ‘seeing this through’ is gonna be a lot fucking harder if you’re not there with us. However you wanna take that.”

#critical role #cr3 #ashton greymoore #orym of the air ashari #ashrym #I need this conversation to happen #I need Ashton to confront him about this #I've envisioned so many versions #cr fic #my fic

[secondstarfanfics]

Do you think it would be wrong of me to write a comfort one shot where the girl character is comforting Ashton after he thinks he let the 5sos fans down?

#ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton fic #5sos