#ask bella love
How to not feel dumb in college? When i was in school, i thought i was pretty smart but then i entered college and it feels like everyone is smarter than me. This is affecting my daily life and studies too. What should I do? How do i start studying again?
Hello 👋🏻😊 That’s a common feeling and it’s understandable that you’d feel that way considering you’re struggling academically, and surrounded by smart people. Understandable, but in need of re-framing.
Firstly, the fact that you care about studying is a great sign. The fact that you’re seeking advice is also a great sign. I’m guessing you’re someone who values personal growth; that trait alone will take you further than almost any other.
Second, it’s important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel like your peers are smarter or more capable, it doesn’t mean you’re right. I think you need to do some reflecting and figure out why you feel dumb.
Try to poke holes in your theory:
In your class, is everyone there above your level academically, or are they just less shy than you about contributing to class discussion?
Has anyone ever commented negatively on your academic ability or intelligence?
Do you have a history of feeling dumb in other areas of your life, such as perceived social inadequacy?
Is your self-esteem low in general?
Were you ever bullied for anything, therefore expect to be attacked or ridiculed when you show “weakness?”
Do you come from a family that values academic achievement and their praise was your incentive, but now you aren’t being praised by the people around you?
Do you feel over-shadowed by a sibling? When siblings compete for the approval of a parent, it can greatly affect the self-worth of all siblings involved, because parental approval meant life or death when we were young — and that conditioning is hard to re-wire, if not impossible; our parent’s opinions will likely always matter.
Another way to phrase this question might be, “what makes me feel smart?”
The arena you play in makes a difference:
High school is generalized, college is specialized. You’re here with people who are passionate about the subject, and likely know a lot about it. In high school, you were with a bunch of people who A) most likely did not want to be there and therefore tried less, B) did not choose (most) of the classes they took, and C) may have been bad at those subjects because they didn’t care about them.
High school doesn’t do a very good job of preparing students for post-secondary. It’s possible you just haven’t yet developed the skills required to excel in post-secondary. You might still be in a learning curve.
Reasons why feeling less intelligent than others isn’t necessarily a bad thing:
Lack of knowledge implies opportunity. What you don’t know, is out there waiting for you to learn it. Not knowing can be an exciting place if you adopt a perspective that values growth, and is driven by curiosity rather than shame about not knowing.
It’s important to be surrounded by people who are smarter than you. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re not learning as effectively as you could be. Learn to be thankful for the smart people around you; instead of seeing them as competition or as mirrors of your perceived inadequacy, see them as inspiration, and seek their feedback — having a second opinion always helps, especially when they’re knowledgeable in your field.
Your worth is independent of achievement, competency, or status. Start to re-wire your perception of worthiness in general and this academic perception will follow suit.
I suggest you find a new word for how you’re feeling.
See, dumb is subjective. It’s inaccurate, because it doesn’t represent anything tangible. What is dumb? And by whose metric is “dumb” measured? Not only that — “dumb” is not constructive. If your goal is to feel and/or be smarter, you can’t call yourself dumb. It doesn’t work that way. As Dr. Jordan Peterson says, “If you want to be strong, stop saying things that make you feel weak.”
“I’m not the smartest person in the room (and that’s okay)”
“This person is better at x than I am”
“I don’t know as much about x as this person”
“I’m not an expert in this (yet)”
“I’m still learning”
“They were a beginner once too”
“If they can do/learn it, so can I”
How do I start studying again?
Just start. Set a timer for whatever amount of time you think you can tolerate. 5 minutes, 10, 15. More if you can, but make sure you start as low as you think you can handle. This is called exposure therapy. Right now, studying is probably a source of anxiety for you, or it causes you some sort of distress while you’re doing it. You’re feeling an aversion to studying, so there’s something about it that your nervous system is trying to protect you from by avoiding it. This is why you need to get clear on why you’re averse, on why you feel inadequate, on why you’re struggling, because now you can make a game-plan. Start small, and build momentum on your small victories. This is how you regain your confidence.
Find a study buddy
Utilize study apps
Meditate before studying
Stay hydrated, fed, and well-rested
Take care of your mental health; rule out (and prevent) other issues that could be contributing to or causing this struggle; avoid burnout and be mindful of your mentality
Talk to a therapist
Talk to a loved one
Talk to a student advisor, professor’s assistant, or professor
Request a tutor if your school offers them, or hire one if you have the means
Figure out what time of day you study best, and try to reorganize your schedule to accommodate if you can
Study in your favourite place — the spot on campus or in your house you feel most creative, alert and productive
Treat yourself with a non-food reward (I think coffee is okay! ☺️)
I hope this helps! Know that you’re not alone, and that your problem is 100% fixable — it’s about mentality, practice, persistence, and self-compassion. Take care! 😊
~ Bella ✨
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUNHO ♡ 19990323
⌙ Joyful / Excited / Outstanding / Natural / Gentle / Yunhoe / Unique / Nurturing / Hard-working / Otherworldly.
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Esme and Carlisle Cullen preparing for Bella’s visit to their home 🥺🥺
They’re just so ✨pumped✨ and excited for Eddie, and they love him so so much
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reminder !!! i love you and stroobebie adrien hehe 🍓♡🍵
BELLA MY BELOVED I LOVE YOU AND STROOBEBIE ADRIEN !!! AND HE LOVES YOU BERRY MUCH TOO 🍓♡🍵
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What do you think the clothing styles of each Cullen is? I've been trying to do research, but all I can find is "canon" fashion. I don't want Mormon fashion, I want on-trend, designer, and weird. I know you won't disappoint, Juliet.
Thank you so much for this ask! I think about how they should’ve been styled all the time so I decided to make moodboards to help illustrate my ideas:
I picture Esme as a big wearer of dresses (sundresses and silk dresses especially) and playsuits in all sorts of light, neutral and bright colours. I know she wouldn’t be able to wear these much outside of the house given the fact that it would look out of place in Forks’ weather, but since she mostly works at home I picture her happily parading around the house like that because it makes her feel good.
Give me Carlisle in cotton shirts and suspenders pleeeeeeeeeease. Also some nice waistcoats ughhhhh Esme insists he throws it back with some Peaky Blinders role play
Bella I mostly see keeping how she was styled in New Moon, the movie she looked the best in imo. Lots and lots of flannel and plaid, comfy but cute, warm colours.
For Edward I’m like “Twilight style, but make it international student.” So yeah just a more high-fashion take on his movie style really (he’s dressed by Alice after all) and also with some hoodies added bc hoodies can serve looks too!
Rosalie I picture having a very mixed style as opposed to sticking to one type. She can go neutral, dark, bright; she can go girly, grunge, sporty, casually comfy, haute couture. Either way she’s always on trend and turns heads
I definitely picture Emmett as being a vest-and-chain lover (he’s Irish-American after all 💀) but I also think he’d let Alice go crazy on him and drown him in labels or high-fashion two pieces that are probably way too much for a small town. But it makes his sister happy and he looks good so he doesn’t care
Last but not least I picture Alice as wearing almost exclusively black or neutral in her main pieces and adding pops of colour through her accessories or makeup. She loves a platform-soled boot and shoes or bags that are patterned. Has vintage designer pieces from all over the world. She’s the label hoe who cried when she heard Michael Kors bought Versace ☹️
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Back again~! (and thank you~! ;w;) ;3; I was thinking A5 (kiss on the ear) for Bellice again? Alice being the kisser and Bella being the kissee? Maybe it's a surprise kiss cause she's pretending to tell Bella a secret? 030
thank u so much for such a cute prompt i loved making this :,)) im really proud of how it turned out!! i hope you like it !
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If you're still doing Bella Sara suggestions, may I request Leonard 👀
he's so cool how did i not know about him. very fun to draw :o
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Random Music Asks
1. What’s a song you always forget is unreleased?
2. Who is one artist you haven’t seen live but want to?
3. Name three songs you heard all the time growing up
4. What’s a song that reminds you of home?
5. How do you normally find new music?
6. How many playlists do you have?
7. Do you still have or actively buy CDs?
8. Do you have vinyls?
9. Have you ever regretted a concert?
10. Whose an artist you wouldn’t go see if someone paid you?
11. What’s the furtherest you’ve been for a concert?
12. Do you ever listen to musical theater? If so is it intermixed with your other genres?
13. What’s a cover you would like to see done? (Especially one you think will never happen)
14. Have you ever pretended to know an artist?
15. How do you make playlists? (Mood, theme, lyrics, vibes etc.)
16. What’s a song you skip every time?
17. What’s a song you have on too many playlists?
18. What’s the dumbest promo/product you’ve seen for an album or single?
19. Recommend three of your road trip songs.
20. Recommend three songs by your favorite artists as a kid.
21. Recommend three songs by your favorite artist now.
22. Recommend a song with a food in the title
23. Indoor or Outdoor music venues?
24. General Admission or Seats?
25. Concerts or festivals?
26. Do you fiddle with the settings on your car stereo/ other sound systems? (Adjust the bass, etc.)
27. What’s a song you skip around other people but love by yourself?
28. What’s the funniest name of band you listen to?
29. What’s your favorite song someone has recommended to you?
30. Are you musical?
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I love when Cassandra Dimitrescu just—
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the h2o gang but drunk
Lil disclaimer: for the purpose of this post all characters are eighteen, the legal drinking age in australia, as most are by season three. anywhere here go some headcanons:
cleo: giggly. just. giggly. think that one episode in season two where she gets moonstruck and is like 'the moon is silver i like silver.' definitely a lightweight and can be found laughing at the contents of the party host's kitchen cabinets after approximately one (1) drink
emma: that drunk girl giving you pep talks in the bathroom, discouraging your from texting your ex, gassing you up and telling how how pretty you are and omg she loves your dress where is it from. she manages to sober up in a second if someone else needs taking care of though
lewis: absolute party animal. all common sense goes out the window when drunk. he can be found tearing up the dancefloor, jumping into swimming pools from inadvisable heights, killing it at karaoke, and generally getting the cops called on the party/bar/other such establishment through his own buffoonery. if you try to engage him in serious conversation he will shut it down and like, challenge you to a game of beer bong which he definitely wins or something. he is a heavyweight and is always the last to leave the party
rikki: absolutely the sloppy and affectionate drunk. she will go around the party kissing the faces of strangers, telling her friends through tears how much she loves them, and probably end up on the receiving end of one of emma's tirades on why you shouldn't drunk text your ex. of course she will vehemently deny taking part in any of the above the next day
zane: for sure the philosophical drunk who gives ted talks to anyone about anything when he has a few drinks. like this guy thinks he's the host of the number one podcast on itunes or some shit. he is still surprisingly eloquent after a few drinks and is pretty knowledgable about a lot of different topics, but is not the kind of drunk you want at a dinner party or on the dancefloor lest you want to get an earful about like, the pros and cons of various cryptocurrencies or some bullshit equivalent
bella: bella is the rare type that gets more quiet and introspective after a few drinks. she can be found sitting in a corner soaking up the vibes and the atmosphere, or else being subjected to a zane-type drunk talking at her about karl jung's theory of the collective unconscious and being the only person to stick around for the conversation. if you try to get her to dance she will just sway gently and eventually go searching for the party host's cat. definitely the kind of person who peaces out of the party early without texting anyone
charlotte: it takes a lot to get charlotte drunk but it will usually go one of two ways: she is either the social butterfly drunk at the centre of all the conversations, laughing and chatting and dancing without making a fool of herself like party animal lewis; or she is the slightly aggressive drunk who talks a little too loudly, peels nate off whatever girl(s) he is attempting to harrass, and gets into lively debates with people whom she verbally eviscerates. think emma's brand of mom friend drunkenness but with more gusto
bonus pic of the s3 girlies in their mermaid forms drinking champagne for shits and gigs courtesy of @daytonametth:
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hey! i heard somewhere that alice and bella took showers together in canon, but i can’t find it anywhere when I look it up. can anyone tell me where in the series it says this? (was it after james broke bella’s leg and she needed help?)
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I don't know how to take care of myself or put myself before other people. Do you have any advice for that?
How to take care of yourself:
Basic self-care. Eat well and regularly, sleep enough and regularly, move your body as much as you can (if you can), shower/bathe regularly, brush your teeth regularly, go outside every once in a while, keep in touch with loved ones as often as it suits you.
Treat yourself well. Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself, keep up with your hobbies, do nice things for yourself like paint your nails or do a face mask, use your favourite cups, compliment yourself, acknowledge your wins and your strengths. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and your life.
Set boundaries. Boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships. We set boundaries in order to ensure our safety and to get our needs met. This act alone is one of the most self-loving things we can do. As a bonus, it deepens and strengthens our relationships.
Limit things that aren’t good for you, and fill up your life with as many good things as possible. Treat yourself like you’re someone worth caring for. Limit and/or cut out toxic people, unfollow people/pages that stress you out, delete apps that waste your time and corrupt your mind, limit or eliminate junk foods/drinks such as fast food and alcohol. Similarly, incorporate as many positive things as you can into your everyday life. Be selective about the people you associate with both online and in person, when possible do not settle for shitty jobs, eat healthy as often as you can, read books and articles that help you grow as a person and/or increase your knowledge, read books for joy, practice hobbies that enrich your life, etc.
How to put yourself before others (this might be phrased more accurately as, how to not put others before yourself):
Figure out where your subjugation schema comes from. Why is your instinct to put others before yourself? Were you a caretaker to your siblings and/or parents, either emotionally, physically, or both? Were you told, explicitly or implicitly, that your needs don’t matter? Were you shamed for setting boundaries and standing up for yourself? Were you rewarded for being selfless, generous, “kind,” and/or well-behaved?
Get to the heart of your beliefs (which developed as a result of those aforementioned causes). Do you feel that your worth is directly tied to your ability to be there for others? Do you feel that the only way you can be loved is by focusing on the other and neglecting yourself?
What has been the utility of your people-pleasing tendencies? To avoid abandonment or rejection? To avoid being shamed for being “selfish?” To seem like a “good person?” To keep you in the trap of self-hatred (because it’s familiar)? To keep you in a state of perpetual guilt and resentment (because you have a guilt complex and/or crave to be perceived as “oppressed”)?
How can you meet these needs and alleviate your fears yourself, without resorting to abandoning yourself? Can you get clear about your self-worth, so that it’s not dependent on your ability to care-take? How can you work on your abandonment issues? Can you reconcile with the reality that nobody is a “good person,” but rather, we can only aim to do good things? Can you forgive yourself for whatever you’re holding onto? Can you find an identity outside of being “oppressed” and “taken for granted?”
Do some self-reflecting and figure out what your needs are. What boundaries do you need to set with the people in your life? What do you need to stop saying yes to? What do you want to ask for from the people in your life?
Establish clear boundaries with the people in your life who’ve grown used to being catered to by you. There will be flack. These people have likely benefited from your subjugation for the entirety of the time they’ve known you, so it’s going to come as a shock when you change the rules and it will take some adjustment. If they’re truly your friend/family, they will accept your boundaries, even if they struggle a bit at first. If they get mad and attack you, or respond with anything besides compassion and understanding, have a serious talk with them, and if that doesn’t work — drop them.
Research: codependency, subjugation schema, people-pleasing, enabling, care-taking, self-abandonment, abandonment issues, pushover, controlling, enmeshment, boundaries, guilt, shame, resentment, trauma. I highly recommend you check out Melody Beattie. She’s a Christian and much of her work includes references to religion and God (not in excess, but regularly) but if you can get around that or if you appreciate that, I think you’ll benefit greatly from her work. I recommend starting with her book, Codependent No More, then Beyond Codependency. She also has a workbook for Codependent No More. All her other books are great as well, and she also has Instagram and a website.
~ Bella ✨
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Song lyrics from Halsey's iichliwp album that I completely relate to/got called out on:
The Tradition: “Her soul is black and it's a fact / That her sneer will eat you alive”
Bells in Santa Fe: “Better off dead, so I reckon I'm headed to Hell instead”, “I don't really mean it 'cause who the fuck would choose this?”
Easier than Lying: “And you make me more and more a villain every day”, “'Cause I'll hang myself if you give me rope / I lost all my faith and lost all hope / That everything means anything at all”
Lilith: “Well, I romanticize and then I get to stressin'”, “You got me thinkin' that I was too mean”, “I just fuck things up if you noticed / Have you noticed? Tell me, have you noticed?”, “I am disgustin', I've been corrupted / And by now, I don't need no help to be destructive”
Girl is a Gun: “It's a shot in the dark, I'm not a walk in the park / I come loaded with the safety switched off”
You asked for this: “Now what the fuck does all this mean? / You know I'm still somebody's daughter, see”, “Go on and be a big girl / You asked for this now / You better show 'em why you talk so loud”, “I wanna cry so hard, I choke / I want everything I asked for”
Darling: “Ever since a little girl, I found it sweet / Drivin' past a graveyard on a lonesome street”
1121: “And if truth be told, it's scary / 'Cause my shoulders are heavy already”, “The parts of myself that I've hated / And I can't tell which ones are mine / And which I created”, “Please don't leave / Just leave me in the place you found me safe and soundly”
honey: “And well, she's impatient and I'm complacent / With just a little taste of wastin' time”
Whispers: “Scroll through your phone, gettin' high off the light”, “This is the voice in your head that says, ‘You do not want this’”, “Why do you need love so badly? / Bet it's bеcause of her daddy / Bet shе was brutal and bratty”, “But I sabotage the things I love the most / Camouflage so I can feed the lie that I'm composed”, “Think you could try to console me, but I do not know me / No, I do not know me”
I am not a woman, I’m a god: “Maybe I could be a different human in a new place”, “So I stay right here 'cause I'm bеtter all alone”, “I am not a martyr, I'm a problem”, “I try, but I need it, it's hard, but I feel it / And it really does hurt when you love someone”
The Lighthouse: “From a tender age, I was cursed with rage / Came swingin' like a fist inside a battin' cage”, “So I showed him all my teeth and then I laughed out loud / 'Cause I never wanted savin', I just wanted to be found”, “Well, that should teach a man to mess with me / He was never seen again and I'm still wanderin' the beach”
Ya’aburnee: “I get undertones of sadness / When I think about the moments / That I never got to spend with you”, “Darling, you will bury me / Before I bury you”, “But what's worse? / Tellin' you my feelings / Or to die without revealing / That you crawled inside my head / And set a fire there instead? / Letting all my insecurity / Devour me with certainty”
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I was in the mood for a soft and wholesome family moment ™️
So i made one 🥺🥺
They’re just so happy for Eddie, and Bells loves them all so much 😩✨
It just makes me so so happy to ignore all the dumb cannon and make a ✨nice vampire / werewolf family story™️✨
Death of the author all the way! Ignoring cannon for the win!!
(Even tho I’m pretty sure they all love each other plenty in cannon, i just want them to be more outwardly affectionate and happy)
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For the suit thing,, Bella Parker from Rainbow High in 3A ?
yes. absolutely. yes yes yes. 💖💖
from this suit meme
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any thoughts on how twilight could be made less racist while preserving the "vampires and werewolves kinda hate each other" dynamic? because i do think that part is interesting, it's just smeyer is a racist moron who couldn't pull it off without being terrible
I do think the ‘natural enemies’ dynamic is interesting and works well in fantasy but I think the issue in Twilight is that the wolf pack is dehumanised far more than vampires/the Cullens specifically ever are, even though the protagonist is supposedly close to both groups. Having white vampire characters who repeatedly refer to indigenous shapeshifting characters as “dogs,” regularly comment on a “wet dog smell”, and even offer food from a dog bowl is so beyond unnecessary and disgusting. To consistently compare the wolf pack characters to animals even when they’re in human form reinforces the ‘savage’/‘feral’ notions that have followed indigenous, black and brown peoples around for centuries as a way for racists to justify colonialism. Similarly, the wolf pack are regularly made out to be unpredictably violent and unable to control themselves, which Edward uses to try and stop Bella from hanging around them even though he’s had to restrain himself and his family from murdering her and others just to taste her blood. I think a clear example of Smeyer’s bias is actually the scent thing; like I said the vampire characters repeatedly express disdain for the “wet dog smell” they get off the pack (even Bella joins in on this when she turns), whereas to the wolf pack, vampires have a sickly sweet smell. Like if both groups were on a level playing field in Smeyer’s mind, the vamps would’ve been given an equally gross stench related to their species like the coppery smell blood or something? Also the wolf pack’s insults for vampires make direct comparisons to what they are — bloodsuckers, leeches etc all drink blood. The wolf pack aren’t dogs, they’re wolves — not even proper werewolves at that, but shapeshifters who take a wolf form. The repeated reference to dogs is just so much more dehumanising than what the vampires get called by the wolves 🤷🏼♀️ So I think no dog references and making the vamps as disgusting to the wolves as the wolves are to them by playing up the blood and gore factor (as opposed to the “hey look the vamps are so pale and inhumanly perfect isn’t that SPOOKY????” thing Smeyer does) would be a great place to start
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B30 for the drawing/art ask that you pinned please? I was thinking Jacob and Bella for the couple if that’s okay?
Also- thank you for sharing your art on here I really like seeing it <3 ❤️
so!! this may not entirely be pillow talk my definition of it is loose but i hope this is okay;; thank u for your ask and your lovely message!! i love posting my art so i’m really glad people like to see it :,) this jacob is the middle of new moon BOOK where he was nice and it was my favorite jacob <<3 hope u like and feel free to ask for more !!
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If Edward or Rose EVER found out that Bella deliberately caused their vampirism things would go sideways REALLY quickly. Does Bella still have her shield in this au? Do vampires have powers at all? What would the Volturi do when they learn about a rogue vampire creating a powerful coven?
I mean I gotta confess I pulled an SM and did not think this through at all when I wrote yesterday’s ask and just kinda did whatever, but there is a lot of potential.
I think they still have powers, Alice does at least. So Bella probably does have a shield. Of course it all being set in the present day changes things, too; but I still think Carlisle has to be the one to come up with the vegetarian thing. I doubt his horror is so much about Hell and damnation this time, but rather that he swore an oath to do no harm, he’s not going to EAT people, absolutely out of the question. And maybe because he was a doctor and used to being around blood, as a vampire he’s still just desensitized enough that he still has good self-control without the same religious horror. I don’t think in this AU vampire!Bella ever cared about eating humans--obviously she doesn’t value the concept of humanity if she is plucking humans from their lives without consent to be her ‘family.’ But since Bella ‘casted’ him as the father/leader she’s totally on board with following his lead on the vegetarian thing, and maybe going along with that for awhile WILL change her perspective and make her, as an excellent comment in the tags suggested, start to realize how messed up this is when it comes time to turn Edward.
In my head Bella had had a lonely human life and had been abandoned early on by her creator, or was turned by accident and has just always felt alone. Her desire for a family, belonging, is genuine, but having been a vampire and feeding on humans for however long, she’s lost perspective about how forcing and manipulating these people to fit this dream she had is wrong. But as she does grow to actually love them, and perhaps adapts to a vegetarian diet, she realizes how profoundly horrific her actions have been.
Perhaps too late for Rosalie and Jasper, though (especially because Alice can be manipulative in the same way and ‘oh I’ve seen it in a vision we’re just helping what is supposed to happen to happen, it’s fine!), and naturally the Big Drama would come with Edward because Main Characters.
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Mi va bene anche il disordine,
purché sia il tuo,
mi va bene litigare,
purché si finisca sempre
a fare la pace,
io e te.
Mi andrebbe bene anche
guardarti giocare alla play
tutte le sere,
o guardare le tue serie tv preferite,
purché io stia lì,
nel divano con te
e non con qualcun altro.
Mi andrà bene qualsiasi cosa
a patto che a tenermi la mano
ci sarai sempre e solo tu.
Hai gli occhi che sorridono,
ti sorridono tanto
ed io amo i tuoi occhi,
perché parlano ed esprimono più
di quello che tu
solitamente dici a parole;
gli altri hanno due occhi e basta
e non sono meravigliosi per niente,
non sono speciali.
Nessuno ha due labbra che
si muovono così bene
Nessuno ha quello che tu hai,
il tuo modo di fare,
di farmi ingelosire,
il tuo modo di camminare,
di prendermi la mano e stringerla
per paura di perderla.
Avranno anche qualcosa in più,
ma non hanno te,
che rimbocchi le coperte
e riempi di baci prima di addormentarti.
Non voglio altro dalla vita,
non voglio altro respiro,
Ho esattamente tutto quello
di cui ho bisogno
per stare bene,
e se stiamo insieme
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Anyone who wants to come at me and say Edward is toxic, I assure you, I can find a place where Bella was toxic as well. They may be my otp and I would die for their love, but hoo boy was their relationship a mess sometimes lol.
Edward and Bella being toxic together in their meadow
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