a sensitive boy has been confirmed dead by paramedics. witnesses say that the boy died after "farting so hard that his balls exploded"

hey. hey so theres almost no way this detail is intentional, but my bird-fixated ass just noticed something about Spamton NEO’s design.

his left wing (possibly the right one too, theres not a good view of it) very very much looks like a wing that has been pinioned.

which is both oddly thematically appropriate and a very bad thing to do to anything with wings- it involves deliberately severing a bird’s wing at or just above the wrist, usually done to birds who haven’t fledged yet, often without painkillers, in order to prevent flight.

this is 100% just a symptom of me knowing way too much about birds, but i genuinely can’t not see it anymore. ...and as i said before, it feels oddly appropriate, thematically. after all, how can a pinioned angel ever reach [[HEAVEN]]?

sometime self-care isn’t face-masks and nice music. sometimes its trying to clean your room and breaking down half-way through, but finishing. sometimes it’s going to the grocery store and buying food that you want to eat, even when you don’t feel like that’s okay. sometimes its talking yourself into a shower for 20 minutes because its daunting. detangling knots out of your hair bc you’ve been too tired to brush it. it’s making a dentist appointment for a toothache and crying afterwards because you hate phonecalls. cleaning your piercings. sometimes its being honest with your therapist. sometimes it’s clearing out cups with mold or cleaning your car or finally brushing your teeth so you stop feeling that weird film in your mouth.

sometimes it’s really fucking ugly. crying and heaving. i know how bad it can get. it’s hard to get better. it’s hard to think of anything other than tomorrow. it’s telling yourself that it’s okay even when it doesn’t feel like it. like cradling yourself in your arms. 

it’s okay. i know it’s so much harder than you can tell people around you. that it’s so ugly, but you did it. it’s okay that you don’t have it figured out. you lived. im so proud of you. you did great. 

A No Straight Roads x Brutal Legend crossover for Kender20; Thank you for commissioning!

Bonus: 

So I just learned about fetiform teratomas, which are tumors that grow from mature, unfertilized egg cells and basically spontaneously turn into a haploid fetus

Like, obviously they aren’t viable but they can grow organs, brain tissue, limbs, eyes, and a form overall resembling a human. Which is insane, given that they are a tumor

I knew about normal teratomas which frequently grow hair and teeth, but these have actual organ systems

It’s literally a form of human parthenogenesis. Biology is fucking wild bro

art vs artist is going around twitter again and I was too tired to pick out 8 whole drawings and collage them together today so I just put kirby over top of my face instead does that count? (I may do it properly tomorrow, I may not.)

obligate coord details:

dress: gummy/fudge amusement park by fragrance dream

blouse: cannele chiffon blouse by soufflesong

wig: amazon

hair clips: lolita collective

this was less than a week after my vaccine hence the wig disarray

Leshy taking out Magnificus’ Eye 👁..

(Quite loosely based on the painting ‘Judith Slaying Holofernes’ [Gentileschi version])

Tubbo has dimples.

Ranboo noticed them first during Tubbo's presidency, the moment they saw one another and Tubbo welcomed him. Ranboo had never seen such a pretty smile on a human before (or maybe he had, but he was glad he'd forgotten it, if it made this one special). Ranboo didn't know what drew them to that smile- it wasn't love at first sight, not even close, but Ranboo wanted to know the sound of the other's laugh.

Tubbo has a beautiful laugh.

Her laugh is like honeyed tea on a Winter evening, when a storm rages outside. Tubbo's laugh feels like home to Ranboo, especially after the two get married, and they were bound by rings. It was a shame they didn't live together, because Ranboo wanted to know everything about Tubbo's soul.

Tubbo has a warm soul.

Perhaps it was by chance, but Ranboo realized that Tubbo had perhaps the warmest soul, and the universe had decided Ranboo was worthy of loving it. Tubbo, with the laugh like summer, and dimples- worn cheeks with creases from those times Tubbo felt joy. Sadly, that wasn't necessarily often.

Tubbo has a lot of sadness.

Ranboo knew from memory alone- which everybody knew that they were bad with- that Tubbo was sad. She was sad, and it was pent up, so most people didn't necessarily know she was sad. Ranboo knew though, they could see the mask slip, when Tubbo smiled just a little, and the dimples didnt show up as much because that smile wasn't real. She didn't get help for it, though. Ranboo never understood why.

Tubbo feels lonely.

Ever since L'manberg, Tubbo felt lonely, Ranboo noticed. With the exception of Ranboo and their son, Tubbo didn't believe he had a purpose. Of course, Ranboo fell in love with Tubbo every day, so naturally if Tubbo thought his purpose was something as simple as sitting and stargazing, Ranboo would support him. But he tried to fill his loneliness with work, and that didn't work. Not when L'manberg died, not when Wilbur died, not when Tommy died, not when Tubbo's own soul might have died.

Tubbo is lonely.

Tubbo is lonely now.

Ranboo is gone.

His dimples haven't shown for days.

He hasn't laughed in a week.

His soul feels empty.

His sadness multiplies.

He feels lonely.

He is.

Even in the Afterlife

inspired by this post by @sparxwrites

warnings: death and shipping of characters

Etho’s grip on his pickaxe tightened as a sound came from his- and everyones around him- communicator. He quickly pulled it out of his pocket, feeling a small smile creep its way onto his face. The smile quickly fell as the sound chimed again, tears welling in his eyes as he reread the message. 

BdoubleO100 was shot by Grian

His communicator clattered to the ground, the sound echoing through the ravine he had been going through, causing the rest of the party to stop in their tracks. His knuckles were white from how tight his grip was, his head hung as he tried to bite back tears.

There was a hand on his shoulder, followed by a hesitant soft voice.

"Etho?" Ren asked, his other hand gently going to Etho’s cheek, lifting his head upwards.

"Etho, are you okay?" came another voice- Cleo's. 

Etho had tried to avoid Ren's face as long as he could, but he eventually looked at the wolf hybrid, his breath stifling as he noticed the other's low ears and worried expression.

"I'm-" He started, trying to keep his voice from cracking, "I'm fine."

Everyone knew it was a lie.

Etho’s grip on his sword loosened as Joel swung at his shoulder again, and he fumbled for the golden apple on his hotbar. He didn't get to it in time. Joel struck his spine, the final blow. Etho was dead.

You have run out of lives.

His mind kept repeating that, he needed to understand that, he needed to come to terms. He hadn’t won. That in and of itself wasn't anything bad, but he felt a pit in his stomach when he thought about that.

Etho wasn't motivated by winning, not by a long shot. He didn't want to win for himself. He wanted to win for Bdubs- for the one he loved.

His breaths became shallow as tears filled his eyes, biting harshly on his lip as he tried to keep them from spilling. He had never gotten to tell Bdubs when they were both alive, even if he had known the other didn't reciprocate the feelings, it was awful that he had never gotten to say it.

"Etho?"

Etho looked up at the call of his name, sucking in a shaky breath. There was no one in front of him, and he let out a small laugh. He had thought-

"Etho-"

A hand grabbed at his sleeve, tugging at his arm, trying to get him to turn. He complied without a moments hesitation, hoping, damn near praying that it was-

A big grin was on the face of the man who was now in front of him. Etho couldn't help but to smile as well.

"Hey.." the taller man started, his voice shaky, "sorry I couldn't win for you."

Bdubs' eyes softened, and he moved to hold Ethos shaky hands. He opened his mouth to start to speak, but Etho had laughed softly.

"But- But you didn't win for me either-" his voice broke as he started to cry, tugging the smaller man closer.

"S-Sorry- 'm just- just kidding- I love you, Bdubs-" he managed out between sobs, trembling.

Bdubs pulled Etho into a tight hug, rubbing his back gently.

"It's okay-" he started, his voice soft and caring, "I know- it's okay, I promise, I love you too."

Lady Bone Demon’s plan to “rip the memory of [Sun Wukong] from this world” means she’s definitely tampered with Macaque’s memories, as well as others’ memories about Macaque. MK doesn’t recognize him as one of the villains SWK and company fought on the Journey despite being a major SWK fanboy and seeing him in the golden vision of truth back in “A Hero is Born!”. At first I had thought Macaque’s story just wasn’t well-known in-universe, but his debut episode contradicts this.

He was nervous when he introduced himself to MK as the Six-Eared Macaque... he thought MK would react negatively! Enough people know about him being a villain that he expects them to panic or become hostile when they realize who he is. That is, enough people used to know about him before LBD started meddling.

Many folks suspect Macaque lied or twisted the truth in “Shadow Play”, since he is a villain. Others thought Macaque was being honest because SWK was kind of a bastard before his character development on the Journey, so having SWK’s past wrongdoings come back to bite him would highlight that hey, this Super Cool Celebrity Warrior is fundamentally A Person With Flaws. It’s good to look up to him, sure, but it’s not good to idolize him. I think the second option is more likely, with the caveat that what Macaque thinks is the truth isn’t what actually happened.

-----

As for what did happen, Journey to the West itself offers clues. To quickly summarize: If SWK and company successfully help the monk Tripitaka fetch scriptures from the west and bring them to the east, their past misdeeds will be forgiven and they will be rewarded with positions in Heaven. But in chapter 56, SWK unnecessarily killed some bandits, so Tripitaka rejected him and sent him away.

In chapter 57, SWK went to the Bodhisattva Guanyin to tell on his master... while “SWK” attacked the other members of the Journey and planned to replace them with impostors so he could take the Heavenly reward all for himself. Sha Wujing went to the Bodhisattva Guanyin to explain the situation and ask for help, and she told him SWK couldn’t have done those things, since he'd been by her side for the past few days. Sha Wujing and SWK left to go discover the truth.

In chapter 58, they found “SWK”, and he and SWK immediately began fighting. They looked and sounded exactly alike and were evenly matched to the point that no one could tell them apart... so they went to the Buddha himself for help. He explained that the false SWK was a six-eared macaque. The six-eared macaque panicked at being discovered and tried to run, but the Buddha trapped him and revealed his true form. SWK used this opportunity to kill the six-eared macaque. And... that’s the end of that storyline. On to the next adventure!

Taking the text at face value, the six-eared macaque is... Some Guy. He and SWK didn’t know each other personally and had no shared past, he just saw an opportunity to get something good for himself and failed to take it. This gives us half of LMK Macaque’s backstory; he certainly isn’t Some Guy, but that he disguised himself as MK to attack SWK and then mocked SWK for not seeing through the illusion suggests he did impersonate SWK and attack his allies during the Journey.

“Seriously? You fell for that?!”

Since Journey to the West is an allegory for enlightenment, we can look at the text- and the shadow play- through an allegorical lens to understand LMK Macaque’s motivation. JttW Macaque represents SWK’s “dark side”, the violent, selfish, deceptive part of himself he needs to overcome before he can continue on the Journey.

And suddenly Macaque’s shadow schtick makes a whole lot more sense.

---

Every goddamn line of the play supports the idea that Macaque is a part of SWK that got separated from him somehow.

Obviously Macaque was referring to SWK when he talked about “the hero” and himself when he talked about “the warrior”, but he gestured at SWK’s silhouette when he said “[the play] follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior...” (SWK is the hero and the warrior... but Macaque is the warrior and not the hero.)

“...[T]hose who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear.” (SWK “brought” Macaque to the other Journey members.)

“Like light, heroes bring warmth, hope, and friendship. But they also give life to the darkness.” (SWK “gave life” to Macaque.)

“The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon; their light a protective glow shining upon the world. Together, there was nothing that could stop the two of them, either in the celestial realms or on earth.” (The moon reflects the sun, Macaque reflects SWK. Macaque also considers (or considered...) himself a protector. Macaque was present for/part of SWK’s ruckus in the celestial realms.)

“The hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the hero’s light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon, the warrior was cast in that shadow.”

(SWK, this blinding light, looms over Macaque menacingly. SWK “cast out” or “cast away” Macaque.)

“In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.” (Oh? Forgotten? Wow I wonder how SWK could have forgotten such a dear friend it sure is a mystery.)

-----

Three of MK’s clones became markedly different over a short period of time, and their reappearance in “This is the End!” means they didn’t stop existing just because MK poofed them. It’s not a stretch to guess that one of SWK’s clones also became markedly different over a longer period of time and gained a certain amount of permanence.

SWK mostly uses his clones for combat, which explains why Macaque’s lessons to MK boiled down to “hit stuff really hard”.

“...[Y]ou don’t use a weapon, you are a weapon!” in that context is... disconcerting. It’s not surprising that SWK would consider his clones to be merely weapons, since he can just poof them away when he’s done with them and, well, they are him. Maybe it was odd that this particular clone was The-Violent-Selfish-Deceptive-Parts-Of-SWK rather than SWK-As-A-Whole like all the rest, but he was always good in a fight! SWK had to protect his monkey subjects, after all! And beat up those underworld guys who tried to kidnap him, and also beat up those guys in the celestial realm who disrespected him, and then beat up the guys from the celestial realm who tried to arrest him for that, and then beat up the army from the celestial realm who tried to arrest him for eating a bunch of magic immortality food he wasn’t supposed to eat, and THEN beat up the rest of the celestial army as he escapes from being arrested, and THEN-

He got pinned underneath a mountain for five hundred years with only iron pellets to eat and molten copper to drink, and no visits from anyone. And when Tripitaka finally got him out, he put a magic fillet on SWK’s head that would give him a massive headache whenever Tripitaka felt like he was acting too violently. And sometimes Zhu Wuneng would persuade Tripitaka that SWK deserved it even when he didn’t because Zhu Wuneng was kind of a little shit.

In a situation like that, it’s only natural SWK wanted to avoid summoning his unusually rowdy clone for fear of him acting out and SWK taking the blame for it, so proto-Macaque was probably floating around in SWK’s subconscious being cranky that he couldn’t Do A Violence for a while until something happened to detach Macaque from SWK.

LBD appeared in chapter 27 of JttW, where she disguised herself as a human three times trying to get close enough to Tripitaka to eat him. But each time, SWK saw through the disguise and destroyed her body, only successfully killing her the third time. Because of Zhu Wuneng’s persuasion, Tripitaka didn’t believe SWK when he said the “humans” were demons in disguise, so he rejected SWK as a disciple altogether and sent him away, though this rift was mended some chapters later.

LMK SWK clearly didn’t succeed in killing LBD, meaning there’s a space in the narrative between her appearance in chapter 27 and Macaque’s appearance in chapter 57 for her to meddle using her Creepy Ghost Whispers.

She whispered tear it out and crush it tear it out and burn it to SWK because this weapon was too dangerous to use, he ought to get rid of it before it backfired and that monk saw fit to crush his skull with the fillet. She reached deeper and whispered run before he smothers you break free from him and live to what would become Macaque, and trusted his own violent-selfish-deceptive nature would take care of the rest.

Sun Wukong reached into his chest and cracked and coughed and clutched and pulled and tore Six-Eared Macaque tried to breathe and coughed and cracked and kicked and thrashed and tore

and there it was 

and there he was

They fought. Macaque lost. He ran.

Lady Bone Demon made them forget. But sooner or later, they will remember.

Macaque will spiral for a bit, Not-A-Person-Just-A-Weapon-Made-For-Violence is a terrible thing to think of yourself. But eventually he will realize what he was is not who he is, and let go of his obsession with SWK so he can truly start to figure out who he is! He’ll probably never be a perfect uwu cinnamon roll, but he’s not doomed to be evil forever, either.

It may a while to convince SWK of that, however...

-----

Red Son

Sha Wujing (Coming Soon)

Zhu Wuneng, Tripitaka, and Bai Longma (Coming Soon)

Some shit went down yesterday.

I went to the bird park and the owner (R) casually mentioned that there was a couple coming to visit with Merlin, seeing if he got along with them. I asked if that meant he was trying to adopt out Merlin and he comes back with this line about "I'm not trying to do anything, all the birds are available." Which is just plainly not true, I can think of ten birds off the top of my head that aren't available. And another four that he kept at the park for years, despite multiple quality inquires, before finally rehoming them.

And, of course, there's the small matter than he told me two years ago that Merlin was on hold for me, and he wouldn't adopt him out.

Obviously I'm heartbroken and I left as soon as he told me. I got together all of the toy parts I bought for the bird park and my keys for him to pick up, because why the fuck would I stay if Merlin leaves, after over 3 1/2 years of apparently just being strung along. I feel very used, after everything I put up with, the neglect and mistreatment I kept my mouth shut about because it would compromise my claim to Merlin. And now apparently I don't have any claim to him. After 700+ hours there, hundreds of dollars of materials and time, over 100 toys built and donated just a few months ago. And he's gonna pull this shit? People that surrendered their birds and never check on them apparently have more claim on those birds than I have on Merlin after all that.

Now he texted me saying he wants to talk. And I don't want to. The bridge is burnt, I can't go back to volunteering like nothing happened, even if he does guarantee Merlin. I don't know what I should do. I don't want to leave Merlin, or Taloom, or Viper, or any of the other dozens of birds that I love, but how do we move forward from this?

yo is everyone just feeling shitty tn??

Adoption AU: The Kidnapping

@tortilla-of-courage @ghostdragonace @sekiumiarashi @anadorablekiwi

So I’ve been thinking about posting more to the Adoption AU for a while now, and the new update seemed like a good excuse to start the plot.

Because yeah, this AU actually has a plot.

Mind the tags, it’s not actually bad but better safe than sorry.

---------------------

Time had been out when he got the first call.

It wasn’t often that he got a day to enjoy himself, having eight sons typically keeps you busy.

Which is why the call was a bit concerning. Tatl didn’t call unless she didn’t want a record of the conversation.

“Hello, Tatl,” he said, purposefully casual as he took a sip of his coffee, glancing around the patio of the small shop.

“Link,” she said, professional tone and words clipped. “How are you?”

“Doing well,” he replied, leaning back. “I finally found some time to myself and figured I’d spend a day out, so I’m currently at one of my favorite coffee shops,”

“Ah, well, that’s good,” Tatl responded, filing that away. “I just figured I’d let you know about a rumour I heard,”

“Oh?” Time asked, keeping his face carefully neutral and hiding as much of it as he could behind his mug.

“There’s been talk about the Emerald,” Tatl told him promptly. “People are looking for it,”

Time kept the mug up to hide his frown. That wasn’t good, considering the last time someone went looking for his artefact.

“Is that so?” He responded after a moment, taking another sip and finding himself watching the other patrons more closely.

“It’s likely not anything terribly worrying, but I’ll keep an eye on things, just in case,” Tatl promised, and Time felt himself relax just a bit. “I’ll call you immediately if something changes,”

“Thank you, Tatl, I appreciate that greatly,” he sighed, and forcibly relaxed his grip on his mug.

“Of course,” Tatl responded, and he could hear the soft smile in her voice. “What else are friends for,”

They chatted for a bit longer before concluding the call, to make it seem more like a random how are you call than one discussing business.

If you had asked Time thirty years ago if he’d be disguising business calls with a member of a secret society as casual conversations, he’d have laughed at you.

That was before he learned how many people were after the gem his foster father had left him, and the lengths they’d go to to get it. Before college, where he met Tatl and Tael. Before Majora made himself a threat. Before the mask.

Now, it was just a part of life. One of many secrets he kept.

Well, from most people. He told Malon everything. Mostly everything. Everything that wouldn’t put her in danger.

(---)

Time spent the next few days a bit overly paranoid. He checked on the Emerald in the attic a few times more than he usually would. He kept a closer eye on his family. He found himself watching everyone he passed on the street.

After those days passed with no word from Tatl, he finally started to relax.

Which is when he got the second concerning call.

“Link, do you know where Twilight is?” Malon asked as Time fumbled for his keys.

“No? Is something wrong?” Time asked, frowning as he sorted through his keychain for the key to his truck.

“Maybe?” Malon replied, and Time paused at the worry in her voice. “It’s just, he’s usually home by now, and I haven’t heard from him yet. I have a bad feeling, is all,”

Time swallowed around the lump in his throat, and did his best to ignore the weight that landed in his stomach.

“It’s probably nothing,” Time brushed off, trying to convince himself. “I’ll call Sheik and see if he’s heard from him. Maybe ask his brothers?”

“Alright,” Malon said, not convinced. “Call me if you hear something?”

“Of course. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Time paused, as he realized he was shaking too badly to get the keys into the lock. He pressed his hand to the door, forcing a deep breath through his lungs.

Twilight was fine. He probably just got caught in some project for college and his phone died. Or he was out with friends and forgot. There were a million reasons he was late and hadn’t called. Jumping to worst case scenario didn’t help anyone.

People were looking for the Emerald, his traitorous brain reminded him. And now your son is missing?

Shut up, he told himself, finally getting the door open and sitting down.

He put his head in his hands, taking a moment to compose himself before calling his brother.

“Greetings eldest Link,” Sheik responded cheerfully as he answered.

“Has your gender changed since we last spoke?” Time asked.

“I’m a woman right now, if that’s what you mean,” Sheik-Lullaby laughed.

“Right, thanks,” Time cleared his throat. “Have you heard from Twilight?”

“Twilight? No, I haven’t. Should I have?”

“No,” Time sighed. “He’s late getting home and hasn’t called. Malon is worried,”

“Well, I’ll let you know if I do,” she promised. “Are you alright, Link? I mean, with what you mentioned a few days ago...”

“I’ll be fine,” Time lied. “I’ll be better when I know Twilight’s just lost track of time or his phone died or something,”

“Right,” Lullaby sighed. “I’ll ask some of the sages if they’ve heard anything,”

“Thank you,”

Time sat in the parking lot for a moment longer, head resting on the steering wheel as he tried to get his breathing under control.

Please, Hylia, he thought. Please let us be overreacting.

(---)

Twilight didn’t come home that night.

None of the sages knew where he was. Neither did his brothers. Nor his friends.

By midnight, it was clear that no one knew where Twilight was, and he still wasn’t answering his phone.

“We’ll contact the police in the morning,” Malon promised him. “It’ll do our boy no good if his father is too exhausted,”

Reluctantly, Time let himself get dragged to bed.

He didn’t fall asleep until at least three in the morning even then, eye on his phone and praying it would ring.

He wasn’t a religious man, but if there was ever a point where he hoped the goddesses would have mercy on him, it was now.

He almost shot out of bed when his phone dinged in the morning, getting tangled in the blankets and waking up Malon as he reached blindly for it before he was even fully awake.

“Darling?” Malon asked, sitting up as Time half fell out of the bed.

He rubbed at his eye with his free hand, bringing his phone up to his face and squinting at the light from the screen.

Twilight: 1 attachment

“It’s a text,” he mumbled, pulling himself back onto the bed as he punched in the code. “From Twilight,”

Weight settled on his shoulders as Malon leaned on him, her eyes on his phone now too.

He opened up the messenger app on his phone, clicking on the conversation with one of his two eldest.

He almost dropped his phone, and Malon gasped loudly in his ear.

It was a picture. A single picture.

Twilight is on his knees, hands bound behind his back, glaring into the camera with a fire all too familiar to Time. He had a black eye and a swollen lip, but otherwise didn’t seem too hurt. There was no way to identify the background in the shot, and even then the lighting implied it might not have been taken that morning based on how the sun had only just begun creeping into the bedroom.

Time’s heart stopped, blood draining from his face. His hands shook, and his eye kept running over the image.

He could vaguely feel Malon panicking behind him, her breathing sharp and shallow in his ear, her nails digging into the skin of his shoulder. Most of the world was far away though, and really she was the only thing keeping him vaguely grounded.

Twilight had been kidnapped.

It felt like the whole world was crumbling away through his fingers.

The people looking into the Emerald weren’t junior treasure hunters like Lullaby and Ruto dealt with sometimes. This was organized.

This was someone who knew.

“I’m going to murder the fucking son of a bitch,” Malon growled, and the pure venom in her voice snapped Time back to the present.

He tore his eye from his phone to look at his wife.

Her fiery red hair was a mane around her head from sleep, and mixed with the blaze in her eyes and the rising sun highlighting her from behind, she reminded Time of those stories about dragons. He was fairly sure that if she could breathe fire there’d be smoke in their room.

He was equal parts impressed and terrified.

“I’ll forward the picture to Lullaby,” he said, forcing himself through the motions to do so. “She and the sages might be able to help figure out where this was taken,”

Malon nodded, taking a deep breath herself, though even as she visibly calmed the inferno in her eyes never quieted.

Lullaby texted back, shortly.

Sent to Kokiri

Says she’ll look into it

I’m on my way over

Don’t tell me not to, you need me right now, i know you

Time sighed. If anyone could figure out what happened to Twilight it was Kokiri. The hacker would likely have a location for them soon.

Tatl might have the resources to help too, but he wouldn’t be able to call her for another few hours.

“Oh,” Malon gasped, and Time twisted to look at her. “The boys,”

Sure enough, Time could hear water running. Warriors had come home from university and planned to leave early in the morning, so that was likely him. They’d need to catch him before he left.

Oh goddesses, they had to tell the boys.

“I’ll wake the others up,” Malon offered gently. “You grab Warriors,”

Time nodded, watching as she left, and forcing himself to his feet after she was out of sight.

He almost knocked on the bathroom door when it opened.

“Oh, Pops! Hey!” Warriors grinned. “Sorry to keep you waiting, didn’t know you were up!”

“Actually, I was waiting for you,” Time corrected, reaching out with an arm to block Warriors as he tried to push past. “We need to talk,”

Warriors frowned, eyes rolled up to the ceiling.

“Okay, I don’t remember getting in trouble recently or doing something that would piss you off, so whatever it is, I didn’t do it,”

Time scoffed, laughing and shaking his head. “No, I know this isn’t your fault,” the mirth vanished almost as quickly as it came, replaced with a worried frown. “This is, a bit more important. Family meeting,”

“Can it wait? I have a class,” Warriors asked.

Time shook his head. “Email your professor, this is something mandatory, and I doubt you’ll want to be going to class after,”

“And what do I say?” Warriors asked, not bothering to argue, likely based on the concern on Time’s face.

“Family emergency, and you can’t say more just yet,” Time said, turning to see Wind and Four wander out of their room yawning, Malon smiling at him before ducking into Hyrule and Wild’s room. “Trust me, this is important,”

Warriors nodded, frowning back. “Lemme grab my laptop then,”

Time stepped back, and his heart twisted as he watched Warriors duck into the room he shared with Twilight.

Twilight, who was probably terrified right now.

He shook his head, clearing it up. He couldn’t be a wreck right now. The rest of his boys needed him to be strong for them.

Half an hour later they were all sitting around the table, Wolfie curled up under it.

Malon reached over to squeeze Time’s arm as he took a deep breath.

“We heard from Twilight,” Time began slowly, keeping his eye on each of his boys. “And, it’s not good,”

“Not good?” Wild echoed. “Why, what happened?”

“We got a photo,” Time cut himself off when he heard the door open, immediately tense.

“Relax, it’s just us!” Ruto called, following her wife into the room.

Or, no. Well-worn jeans, baggy hoodie, scarf folded high over the chin. Probably Sheik.

“Sheik, he him,” Sheik informed them all with a wave. “Don’t let us interrupt,”

Time nodded. “Right,”

Malon squeezed his arm again, and Time took a second to steady himself again.

“I got a text from Twilight’s phone. It’s a picture,” he explained. “I, don’t want to show you all since it’s already a concerning situation, and I know you have some existing issues already and I don’t want to make things worse. It just shows Twilight restrained, a little banged up, and very pissed off,” he took a deep breath, calming himself. “We think he’s been kidnapped. I’ve already asked someone to look into things and I’ll be making a few more calls in an hour or so when I know another friend will be able to answer,”

The first thing that breaks the silence that fell is the clatter of a kitchen chair hitting the ground, knocked over when Warriors stood. He all but ran from the room, heading in the direction towards the basement stairs.

Four followed, pushing to his feet and heading out of the room in a different direction, much calmer than his older brother.

Malon reached over to tap Wind’s shoulder, who then threw himself into her open arms and started sobbing.

“Sky,” Hyrule nudged his brother, who looked up numbly. “Come on, let’s get some air,”

Sky nodded, and let himself be guided out of the room without complaint. Both he and Hyrule had tears on their faces.

Legend stood to punch the wall, leaving a sizable dent, and screaming. He followed this up with a slew of colourful curses.

Wild had crawled under the table at some point, and was now clinging to Wolfie, who was very patiently allowing him to, despite the amount of pulling on his fur.

Time dropped his head into his hands, the words out now. He could feel himself shaking slightly as he tried to keep himself from breaking down himself. He couldn’t break right now, not yet. His boys still needed him.

“Kokiri’s analyzing the photo now,” Sheik offered into the room, and the people left in it. “She promised we’d have something to go off of in an hour or so, and the sages will be acting on that as soon as Kokiri gives us the lead,”

Time sighed, a bit relieved by that.

He lifted his head when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his brother leaning in and dropping his voice.

“Do you think this has anything to do with interest in the Emerald?” He whispered.

“I sincerely hope not,” Time sighed, feeling much older than he was.

Sheik squeezed his shoulder in comfort, but said nothing.

Time pushed himself to his feet, Sheik stepping back as he did.

“Excuse me, I should go and comfort some of the boys,” he nodded, turning to offer a small smile to Malon and Ruto where they were comforting Wind, and then turned out of the room.

(---)

Time sat in his room, rolling his phone in his hands and watching the clock, waiting until he could make the call.

Tatl only had a few windows during the day when she could speak freely with him about situations where they went behind the back of the Order.

He respected the Order of the Lost Woods, but things like this didn’t need them to know. It would be better if they didn’t.

Warriors was still curled up in the fort in the basement, the collection of sheets set up by some of the boys from when Warriors was trying to get away from his rather abusive ex and left up as a sort of panic or freak out space. He wasn’t hyperventilating anymore, and he was drinking some water. Kidnapping hit a little close to home for Warriors, considering the near miss with his birth parents a few years ago.

Four seemed outwardly fine. Vio was fronting and explained that the rest of the system was in chaos. Red’s tears were visible on his face, and he mentioned the destroyed boxes that they’d been planning to lend to a work friend of Time’s to move was Blue. Vio promised he’d let himself breakdown once Green was calm enough to wrangle in Red and Blue.

Sky was sobbing, loudly, and clinging onto Hyrule on the back deck. Hyrule was doing his best to comfort his brother, even with his own tears running down his face and shaking hands. Sheik had gone out to offer comfort for them both not long after Time had checked on them.

Wind was still sobbing, now holding onto Ruto so Malon could offer Wild some support after he let go of the wolf-dog. Legend disappeared into one of the old barns, and a series of violent noises filtered out on occasion.

And here Time sat, alone, waiting for the time to pass.

8:43, Tatl would answer now.

“Hello?” Tatl answered the call. “Link are you alright? You never call this early,”

“Twilight’s been kidnapped,” he said, cutting to the point.

“Twilight, your son?” Tatl asked.

“Yes,”

A series of loud, angry curses followed that. Time waited, letting her swear, eye on the wall as he stared off into the distance.

“Do you think this has anything to do with interest in the Emerald?” She asked once she stopped cursing.

“I pray not,” Time sighed. The weight of his past never felt heavier than now. “But we can’t rule it out,”

“No,” Tatl agreed. “Shit, Link. I’ll see what I can do about helping you out, and I’ll look more seriously into those inquiries about the Emerald. We’ll bring him home, Link,”

“I know,” Time nodded, though there was no conviction in his voice. “Thank you, Tatl, for everything,”

“Of course,” Tatl’s reassuring smile could be heard through her voice. “What are friends for?”

Time laughed, though it was tired, and shook his head. “What are friends for,”

They ended the call soon after.

Two hours later, Time was walking into the police station and making a report about Twilight going missing and the photo he received.

“Don’t worry, Link,” Captain Viscen promised, offering him some reassurance. “We’re all pretty fond of your boy, even with how much trouble he gets into. You can be assured we won’t rest until we find him, one way or another,”

“Thank you,” Time sighed, rubbing his face with one hand. “I appreciate that a lot,”

A few other officers offered him their condolences and promises to do what they could before he left.

(---)

The sages tracked the picture, and Twilight’s cell phone, to an apartment building downtown. Kokiri got the exact apartment number through a series of analytics involving the time the photo was taken, the position of the sun, something something. It was all way over Time’s head.

The apartment wouldn’t let them up to check it out, so Sheik put the sheikah training he got from his mother and aunt to good use and snuck in through one of the windows.

Twilight’s phone was left on the dresser, and when Sheik opened it there was a video left, likely for them to find.

Nothing was said, the whole thing muted, and it was hard to lip read with how swollen one side of Twilight’s lip had become.

He was shouting at someone off screen, and then there was a sharp cut to Twilight bent to the side, blood dripping from his mouth. Whoever hit him didn’t want to be seen.

It went black after that, white words that just said ‘YOU KNOW’ all that remained until the video stopped.

Sheik looked around the rest of the apartment, in every room in every nook. He tried everything he could think of but there were no hidden areas. In fact, outside of the small bloodstains in the study, it was like no one had been here at all.

Sheik left it as he found it, slipped out, and left an anonymous tip with the police before calling his brother.

“I have bad news,”

(---)

Time barely ate that night at supper, though no one else ate much either.

Sheik’s call had made him worried, and the video Captain Viscen showed him from his son’s phone had made him sick.

YOU KNOW.

Yes, he was pretty sure he did know.

Kokiri promised to look into everything, from security cameras to the lease holder, for anything they could go off of. Captain Viscen swore he’d make this case a top priority. Nabooru even offered to reach out to some of the contacts she still had in the underworld for him.

They were doing everything they could. And Time knew that they’d never stop until Twilight was found and brought home.

Somehow he still didn’t think it would be enough.

Time never considered himself a religious man. He was pretty sure the goddesses had a weird, sick sense of humour considering his life thus far. He was pretty sure they’d never even looked his way before, nor did he ever expect them to be kind to him if they did.

But if there was ever a time he wanted to be wrong about anything, it was now.

So that night he sat awake on the edge of his bed, and he prayed.

so i'm rereading animorphs and thinking about all the times visser three is threatening to eat these kids alive (a lot to unpack there so we're just going to throw that entire suitcase away).

anyway, was just thinking, technically if he had managed to get say, rachel in polar bear morph, his ass would probably die. a healthy polar bear liver has enough vitamin a to kill around 50-52 humans. being a blue space deer, he might have a slightly higher tolerance but i seriously doubt it's that high. imagine thinking you've had the last laugh and then you die of vitamin a poisoning that's so embarassing.

sparkling babysits walnut aka his baby sister sometimes cuz almond likes to randomly drop her off ovo/)

so true. he is a babysitter. also adding another doodle under the cut because it made the post too long

yeah, keep making fun of tommy’s lore voice. ill keep the same energy when you die

can you tell i found an edgy vocaloid playlist

aaaand yeah i really do think that at the very least shiv saying let’s have a baby! to get tom to have sex with her (when he wouldn’t before because the option was not on the table) and then saying things out loud that each of them understand are core issues of their marriage as play creates a situation where tom’s consent is coerced. 🤧

Also, I don't know if this is me being overly sensitive, but I really feel uncomfortable with "family vlogging/tiktoks" as a whole when very young children are involved -- especially when the content involves embarrassing them as a punishment (e.g., parents who digitize the reaction of their kid being punished for performing poorly in school) or as family accounts where the children are used to deliver bawdy jokes. They hardly can consent to being part of productions like that, and also, you cannot control who sees your content once you post it! Argh!!

my self insert in the style(?) of the sword and shield concept art books!

(notes beneath the cut for anyone that wants to see!)

1.) Likes to wear flashy makeup + false eyelashes

2.) Nails are constantly shiny and colourful.

3.) Faux fur legwarmers

4.) Hides in her hoodie whenever she feels overwhelmed with an emotion.

5.) Boots without the legwarmers.