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#asking for reblogs can be good in some circumstances
ageofstarkey · 7 months
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yes, really ✰ m. riddle
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prompt: “i knew you’d be here”
summary: you’re drawing in the astronomy tower to clear your head & mattheo finds you
pairing/dynamic: best friend!mattheo x reader, mutual pining but they don’t really talk about it???? just two oblivious besties in love w each other
warnings: mentions of smoking (cigarettes), very very mild innuendo?? not even??? idk i think that’s pretty much it
note: i’m actually very happy with this one (i think) so i hope y’all enjoy :) i’m still planning on working on some requests, but i just wanted to start w something cute n fun while i had the inspo
masterlist
comments & reblogs are so appreciated!! <3
✰ ✰ ✰
“can’t sleep?”
in other circumstances, you might’ve been startled - but you recognize the voice in a second.
mattheo stands just inches away from you - the scuffed toes of his black chucks nearly touching your own.
with a soft little sigh, you set aside your sketchbook. “no. what about you?”
mattheo shrugs, before moving to sit beside you. “haven’t even bothered to try yet.” he slides down the wall, letting his long legs sprawl in front of him. then - with his thigh pressed up against your own, he begins fishing around in his jacket pocket. you watch him curiously, lips quirking upwards in understanding when he produces a familiar gold zippo and a pack of smokes.
even though it’s a miserably cold night, the heat of mattheo’s leg against your own is enough to make you dizzy. in a vain attempt to calm your quickly beating heart, you draw your legs up against your chest, before wrapping your arms around them. you watch as mattheo slots a cigarette between his lips, letting your cheek fall against your knees. “you know those are bad for you, right?”
he offers you a familiar little grin, cigarette bobbing between his lips as he responds. “i had no idea.”
you roll your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his. “you should quit.”
“maybe you should pick it up.”
a quiet little giggle slips past your lips. “could you imagine me smoking?”
mattheo laughs softly as he exhales, and you pretend not to notice how he blows the smoke away from you. “not really.” he takes another slow drag, and you watch distractedly as the cherry illuminates his handsome features. “it’d be hot though.” he says the words casually, through a mouthful of smoke, and your cheeks suddenly feel like they’re on fire.
“mattheo!”
he shrugs with his lips tugged upwards in an infuriating smirk. “what?”
you roll your eyes fondly, suddenly unable to look at anything but your shoes. “you are such an arse.”
for a few moments, the two of you slip into a comfortable silence. while mattheo finishes his half-smoked cigarette, you gaze distractedly up at the stars. eventually, you grow tired of the quiet - opting to ask the question you’d been mulling over since he turned up in front of you. “why’d you come up here, anyways?”
mattheo’s quiet for a second and your mind races anxiously in wait. then, he stubs out the end of his cigarette with a shrug. “i knew you’d be here.”
your heart aches fondly in your chest. “really?”
another shrug, and then he’s turning to you with this soft little smile that seems to be reserved for you and you alone. “yes, really.”
he says it as if it’s obvious - maybe it is - and you can hardly contain your stupid little giggle. “oh.”
“oh?” mattheo’s eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, but his knowing-grin never wavers.
it’s your turn to shrug - you’re not sure if you can bring yourself to do anything more at this point.
he bumps his shoulder against yours, leaning in to look at you. “is it a good “oh” at least?”
he’s being awful on purpose and you pretend to hate it. with a meek little nod, you finally meet his eyes. “it’s a good “oh””
mattheo grins, dropping his arm across your shoulders. “good.”
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unbidden-yidden · 3 months
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I'm gonna be honest here: one of the more exhausting parts of the online discourse is how much of a tightrope I am always on, that those of us who care about human rights for all human beings are always on, because any statement made in favor of the "other" side is ripe for tokenism.
I, as a Jew, care about the safety and human rights of Palestinians and Arab Israelis. You will never convince me that there is an ethical way to kill civilians, especially children. You will never convince me that police brutality against citizens marching for their civil rights is necessary. You just can't. And yet I have to be so careful when/where I say that and how I say that, because too often this simple acknowledgement that all people are created in the image of Hashem and should be treated accordingly is ripped out of context and placed between a deluge of other posts denying my people that very same acknowledgement. The number of times I have said these things, only to go into the reblogs and see my words surrounded on all sides with violent antisemitism? I've lost count.
And guess what? It's made me less effective as an advocate, it has actively silenced me from speaking up sometimes, because I refuse to be your "good Jew," your token, somebody whose words can be misconstrued to kasher your vile hatred of my people. And to be very clear: Jewish Israelis are my people just as much as fellow diaspora yidden are, and they deserve better from both goyim and diaspora Jews alike.
And I've seen this go the other way, too: I've seen Palestinian activists and journalists who are trying very hard to balance the values of respecting other people (including Israelis and/or Jews writ large) as fellow human beings with the pain that their people are currently suffering. And I've seen their words ripped out of context and used to excuse more violence against them and their people.
And then there are lots of other people - genuinely well-intentioned people who are trying to learn from me - who keep treating me like I'm some paragon of nuance. I'm trying, truly, but I'm Just Some Guy. You know what I do? It's extremely simple and I promise you can do it too, any of you, if you slow down long enough to think before putting anything out there: "Would I say this about my brother? My mom? My daughter? My people? Would I be happy if the person I loved most on this earth was living under these circumstances and being talked about in whatever way I'm about to speak? Would it feel victim-blaming? Would it feel disrespectful of their struggle or dishonest? Does it ignore their history or trauma? Is it actually helping?" These are the types of questions I try very hard to ask myself every time I post about the conflict, about both sides. I try to talk about this as if the people on both sides were my family. Because truthfully? They are. Am Yisrael is a family, before anything else. Palestinians are our closest cousins. This war is a bloodbath and a tragedy, and everyone is suffering. For those of us who are not living there, please remember this and have some respect.
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lacroixwh0r3 · 9 months
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The First Taste
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DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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Summary: You meet Joel, your dad's best friend, for the first time after your dad begged you to join them at the lake to keep Sarah company. Both you and Joel become fascinated by each other the moment the two of you met.
Warnings: SMUT!!! DUB CON, heavy sexual tension, drug usage (weed only), petnames, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 21), masturbation (F and M), fingering, voyerism, daddy kink, dom!Joel, Joel is a perv and an asshole, cursing, swimming??, no outbreak
Song inspo (feel free to read if you want): The First Taste by Fiona Apple
PART 2 PART 3
A/N: This takes place four years before Blow My Load, but can be read as a standalone.
Please share, comment, like, and reblog...enjoy lovies! <33
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"Dad, I thought it was supposed to be a "boy's trip," and the last time I checked, I am not a boy." You point at your body as you tell your dad. For some reason, he is begging you to come to the lake with him and his friends the day before they leave. "Why won't you just tell me why you want me to go? And maybe I'll give you an answer."
You finally got him to crack.
Your dad let out a defeated sigh as he scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever bullshit your dad was about to say. "Well, you see, honey, one of the guys couldn't get a babysitter for his kid, and I offered you to keep her company." He winced.
And there it is. The thing he was holding back from you
You let out a sarcastic chuckle. You really couldn't believe this shit. "Are you serious, dad? I refuse to babysit some random kid because you offered me up without even asking me first!" You exclaimed at him. "I don't even know a damn thing about this kid."
"Look, I know it was wrong for me to do that, sweetheart, but I swear Sarah is a good kid. Most of the time she has her headphones in and minds her business." He tries to reason with you, almost pleading with you. You began to feel bad for blowing up on him like that, but it really did piss you off that you had to watch someone else's kid. "I'll even pay you."
This weekend, you planned on doing nothing but self-care. You wanted to do nothing but stay home, watch movies, get a mani and pedi, go get a massage, drink, and maybe even play with the new toy you just bought yourself at Spencers.
You feel yourself giving into your dad; it wasn't the money that made you say yes, but the fact that he always found a way to make you feel bad, even if he didn't mean to do it. "Ugh, fine!" You scoff as you turn to look away from him. From the corner of your eye, you can see his body perk up.
Your dad lets out a sigh of relief, saying, "Thank you so much, sweetheart! You're such a lifesaver; you know that, right?" He slaps your shoulder playfully, causing you to shrug it off and narrow your eyes at him playfully as well.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is your friend's daughter, anyway?" You asked him, unfazed by it all.
"I think she's around 14?" Your dad said cluelessly. "Not too bad, right? I'm sure that you can find something to talk about with her."
It wasn't that bad, but what the fuck would you, a 21-year-old, have in common with a 14–15-year-old girl?
"I guess. I'm gonna start getting my stuff all packed up," You tell him as you turn around to go up to your room.
"Alright, sweetheart, and thanks again!" He exclaims to you as you make your way farther up the steps.
"Yup!" You yell it out dismissively.
As much as you hated the circumstances, you were happy you were finally able to get away for a little bit.
...
It was the next day, and you were tired as hell after only getting four hours of sleep. You had spent all night packing and stressing about what you were going to wear. It wasn't like you were trying to impress anyone, but this was your first time meeting your dad's friends, and you wanted to look decent.
You had left it up to your dad to pack your things into the car as you were too tired to do anything besides shower, put your clothes on, and lay back down for a little until it was time to go. As you lay face down on the bed, knocked out, you heard your dad knock on the door. "Hey, kiddo, are you ready to head out?" He asked you as he stood at the door.
You slowly sit up on your bed as you yawn and stretch your arms over your head. "Yeah, let me just get up and grab my purse and stuff."
"Got it." Your dad says this before turning around and making his way downstairs.
After moments of sitting on your bed, stairing into space, you got up, grabbed your purse, and began to leave your room. However, on your way to the door, you see the pouch that contained your weed and weed paraphernalia. You hesitantly swiped it from your dresser, dropped it into your bag, and went downstairs.
If the men got to have their fun, why couldn't you?
Once you get to the last step, you hear your dad saying bye to someone on the phone before turning to you. "My buddy, Joel, just got to the lake house, so we should start headin' out." He says this as he grabs his keys and motions for you to follow him to the door.
After making sure the security alarm was set and locking the door, the two of you were finally on your two-hour journey to the lake house.
...
You and your dad finally made it to the lake house. It was a three story house that sat on top of a hill, surrounded by nothing but trees.
You and your dad hop out of the car and start bringing your bags to the front door. All of a sudden, the moment you sat the last bag down and brought your fist up to knock at the door, it swung open, revealing a man who looked to be in his early 30s with short, dark, curly hair.
Beside him was a woman with long locs, smiling warmly at you. Meanwhile, the man looked at you with confusion, trying to piece together who you were. You looked familiar to him, but he couldn't put a name to your face.
"Tommy!" Your dad said loudly behind you. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he greeted him. Tommy's eyes moved to look behind you at your dad, and his eyes lit up.
"Oh man, y'all come on in!" He opened the door wider as he and the unnamed woman moved out of the way to allow you to walk in first, followed by your dad. "I'll grab the rest of the bags out there." Tommy says.
Tommy brought the bags in as your dad greeted the lady. "Hey, Maria!" He asked her as he gave her a side hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be joining us this weekend as well."
So that was her name.
"I didn't think I was going to be joining either. Tommy invited me last minute, so I just decided to take some time off of work," She replies back.
They stood near the entrance as they began to get deeper into the conversation, talking about God knows what, leaving you standing there awkwardly as you watched them. You decided to take that moment to observe the room. Even though the house was spacious, it still had a cozy feel to it.
As you were in your own world, your dad gently slapped his hand on your shoulder unexpectedly. "And this young lady right here is my daughter." He smiles at the two as Maria and Tommy turn their attention to you.
"Nice to meet you, kid," He says as he offers his hand to shake yours, which you accept. You shake hands with him before dropping them to your side. Tommy then points to Maria. "This is my wife, Maria."
You shake hands with her as well while you tell them your name. "It's so great to meet you two!" You beam at the couple.
They begin to ask you a series of questions about yourself, such as what university you attended, what your major was, and so on, to which you gladly answer.
However, in the midst of your conversation, your words are abruptly interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening, followed by heavy footsteps. "And here comes my asshole brother, Joel, and my niece, Sarah," Tommy says to you, prompting both you and your dad to look behind you. You can hear Maria let out a loud laugh at Tommy's words.
Your eyes immediately focused on him as he got closer to you, not even paying attention to the fact that his daughter was right behind him as well.
The man named Joel had short, dark, curly hair like Tommy’s; the only difference is that he is a lot shorter, and the roots of his hair were slightly gray at his temples. Joel also had a patchy beard with a thick mustache. He has this rugged and mysterious look to him that completely enraptures you.
He and your dad greet each other, giving a quick bro hug and pulling away. Joel then turns to you, and you feel your hands quiver. His dark, dominant eyes intensify the intimidating aura that surrounds him, yet it still makes him even more interesting to you.
Holy hell, you think to yourself. This man is so fucking fine.
You continued to stare at Joel, saying absolutely nothing, until you realized that he was giving you a confused look as if he were waiting for something. Your eyes darted down, and you realized that he had his hand out, waiting for you to shake it. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment as you went to shake his hand.
"Joel," was all he said as the two of you shook hands before he let go and discreetly rubbed his hands into his shirt. You could feel yourself shrink with embarrassment as he did this. Not only did he not even give you a chance to introduce yourself, but he wiped his hands after shaking yours.
What a fucking jerk! Tommy was right; he is an asshole.
You quickly snapped out of your feelings when you realized that Sarah was now in front of you. She wore a pink crop top and jean shorts, while her curly hair was placed in a low ponytail.
She suddenly brings you in for a hug with a massive smile on her face, catching you off guard. Nonetheless, you still happily return the hug.
"I'm Sarah. It's nice to meet you!" Unlike Joel, Sarah was a lot more friendly with you. She had this radiant energy to her that made you wonder where she got it from because it definitely wasn't from Joel's grumpy ass. You tell her your name.
"It's nice to meet you as well, Sarah!" I return a smile back to her. She seems like the sweetest 14-year-old you've ever met. "I think we're gonna get along just fine this weekend."
"We sure are!"" She agrees.
"Sarah, sweetheart, how've you been?" Your dad asked her.
As your dad began to talk to Sarah, you decided to check Joel out while he listened to the conversation, occasionally putting in his two cents. Unlike the rest of the group, Joel wore a dark gray shirt, jeans, and some boots.
How is he not hot?
I mean, he is hot, but I meant temperature-wise, you think, causing yourself to let out a low chuckle.
You guess you said that out loud because Joel’s head, along with Maria's, Sarah's, and Tommy's, suddenly snapped over to you with eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Your dad's voice slowly began to fade when he saw the mortified expression on Sarah's face.
"Wait, what happened?" Your dad asked cluelessly as he looked around the group. He was so in his own world that he didn't hear what you said. Thank-fucking-goodness. "Everyone just stopped talking all of a sudden."
"Nothing!" You quickly tell him as you give him a disengenious smile before looking at everyone else. Sarah looked embarrassed for you, as Tommy and Maria still looked shocked. You get a glimpse of Joel as you wince in embarrassment and close your eyes; he had this smug look on his face.
You gathered that Tommy obviously loves to fuck around with people because he let out a stifled laugh, causing his wife to slap his arm and tell him to shut up.
You just wanted to die right then and there. This is now the second time today you've embarrassed yourself in front of this sexy ass man.
Your dad, being the clueless person he is, continues on with whatever he is talking about, not even realizing that no one is paying attention to him. Maria interrupts your dad as she clears her throat to catch your attention. She had a sympathetic look on her face. "Sweetie, your room is on the second floor next to, uh, Joel's, if you wanna get settled in," She offered to you. "We're going to head out to the lake and start putting some things on the grill around 2 or so." You just nodded your head because you were too afraid to speak.
"Hey, Joel?" Tommy looked at his brother with a teasing look on his face. "Why don't you go show her to her room, yeah?" He nods his head in the direction of the staircase.
You wished that you could just punch Tommy across the face at this very moment.
"Umm yeah..." Joel agrees slowly as he gives Tommy a dirty look before glancing at you. "Follow me," You nodded your head and grabbed your purse and other bags. As you followed Joel, the group quietly picked up their conversation again.
Without saying a word to each other, you and Joel arrive in the room. He steps aside, allowing you to enter, and turns around to make his way down the hallway to go back downstairs, but you quickly stopped him before he could get any further. "Hey, I'm sorry about what happened down there." You apologized to him. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything."
Joel just turns around and gives you a small smirk. "Oh, darlin', I'm far from uncomfortable. I'm actually flattered...more than flattered as a matter of fact." He winks at you before departing down the hallway, leaving you shocked.
You were somewhat relieved that Joel wasn't disgusted by you, but it still didn't help with your embarrassment as much as you hoped it would.
You scanned the room, taking in the room that you were going to be spending your weekend sleeping in. The walls were painted a light gray. There was a queen-sized bed that looked really comfortable and had bedside tables on each side as well as a TV, which was mounted onto the wall opposite the bed. There was a door that led to a balcony. You could see an overview of the calm lake and the tall trees. It was a beautiful view.
...
It's been a while since you went downstairs with everyone. You were still so embarrassed by the incident this morning that you decided to spend most of your time scrolling through social media and catching up with your college friends. The only time you came out of the room was to go to the bathroom.
You eventually rolled out of bed and worked up the courage to join everyone.
After changing your clothes that you had on earlier and putting on your swim suit, you slipped on your oversized shirt, put on some waterproof mascara, and put on some lip gloss.
You made sure to grab your sunglasses, put on your flip-flops, and jogged down the steps.
Once you got down there, you realized that Maria was in the kitchen. You headed towards her, quickly greeting her. "Hi, Maria," You say while positioning yourself behind the chairs on the island. She was gathering something that she needed to put outside.
"Hey, sweetheart!" Maria happily greets you back with a smile as she turns her attention to you. "How're you feeling?" She asked you gingerly as she looked at you with sympathy. Her goal wasn't to embarrass you; she truly wanted to know if you were okay after earlier.
You felt yourself begin to get flustered. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking." You sheepishly replied. You avoided her eyes, beginning to feel awkward.
"Of course. They're out in the back; you should join them." She points to the sliding door. You just nodded your head and made your way to the door. Before you went out there, you stood there looking outside. You could see Joel's tall figure standing over the grill as he flipped the meat and sipped on his beer.
You felt yourself getting nervous just looking at him.
You then looked and saw your dad helping Joel take the food off the grill and start to place it on the table. Meanwhile, Sarah and Tommy sat at the table, talking to each other. Whatever Tommy had said made them let out loud laughs, causing Joel quickly turned around, let out a chuckle, and shook his head. He then went back to putting things on the rest of the food on the serving platter.
His smile is so gorgeous, it almost takes your breath away.
"Are you going out, sweetheart?" Maria asked behind you, startling you. You had forgotten that she was still here.
You turned to her as you began to stammer over your words and realized that her hands were full with plasticware and plates. "Do you need me to help you take those?" You asked her without even answering her question.
"I do actually," She just looked at you with a questionable look before speaking up again. "Can you just grab the forks and spoons from the top and place them on the table out there, please?" She asked. You grabbed the utensils before turning back around and opening the door.
They didn't notice you at first until Sarah caught sight of you and loudly called out your name as you got closer, causing Joel to look over at you as he closed the grill's top.
"Sarah!" You exclaimed dramatically. Once you reached the table, you sat the plasticware down and went over to sit next to her.
You noticed that her hair was wet and that she was wrapped in a towel. "What've you been up to, girlfriend?" You asked her as you sat down in the seat.
"Nothing much; I just took a quick dip in the lake, and now I am starving," Sarah whined out as she looked over at her dad, who was coming over with the food.
You can hear the sound of Joel's heavy feet approaching behind you and stopping at the free seat at the end of the table, which was next to you. He first put the food in the middle of the table, then plopped himself down. We all began to put things on our plates and begin eating.
Tommy grumbled something about starving, causing Sarah to make a joke about how he was always starving. In reply, Tommy stuck his tongue out at the young girl in a teasing manner.
As Joel ate, he was manspreading under the table. You could feel his hairy, bare leg graze against yours, making you move your leg away. Joel wiped his mouth with the napkin, took a sip of his beer, and looked at you with a blank stare, not saying anything.
You decided to speak up and compliment him on the food. "Joel, this is really good," You smile. Everyone hummed in agreement as they ate.
"Why thank you, darlin'?" Joel says, going back to eating.
...
After eating, we all sat there with our tummies full as we sat around talking about whatever came to mind. That was until Sarah ran into the house without saying a word.
"Oh goodness, that girl." He sat back as he watched his daughter running around the house through the sliding door before running back outside with a box of Uno cards.
"Who wants to play?" She asked the whole table as she ran to her seat and plopped down.
We all agreed. She began to shuffle the cards, dealt them out to everyone, and then set up the game. It first started with you, Joel, Maria, Tommy, then your dad, and lastly Sarah.
Sarah was the first one to get Uno, even though she had the most cards at one point. We all accused her of cheating, which she was quick to deny. No one at the table believed her, especially Tommy and Maria. She just rolled her eyes and helped your dad while he was stuck figuring out which cards to play next.
While the two silently argued about which card was the best, you looked over at Joel and saw that all his cards were showing. You looked around and noticed that no one was paying attention to his cards. Tommy and Maria were sitting there watching your dad and Sarah.
"You're bleedin', Joel," you whisper to him as you point to his card. His face scrunched up with confusion as to what you meant. He looked down at himself and saw no blood.
"What, sugar? I ain't bleedin' anywhere," He said as he tried to recall if he had maybe scraped himself anywhere, but it wasn't coming to him. You couldn't help, but laugh at his confusion.
"It means your cards are showing, Joel." You giggled at him as he chuckled a bit and put his cards up so that he wasn't "bleeding" anymore.
"That's so stupid, who taught you that?" You just shrugged your shoulders at his question and looked back over to see if your dad had finally picked up his card yet.
"Oh my gosh, this isn't rocket science, dad! Just pick a card already!" You exclaimed it, causing everyone to laugh.
"I'm tryin', I'm tryin'!" Your dad waved you off as he went back to silently arguing with Sarah about which card to choose.
The game got drawn out longer than it was supposed to because every other minute someone (usually Tommy) would start arguing about another person cheating. And in the end, Tommy lost the game.
We put the cards away as everyone except for Maria decided to hang out by the dock and take a swim. She said something about having to get on the phone with a client of hers, but she would come join us when she was done and would bring popsicles.
You and Sarah walked in front of your dad, Joel, and Tommy until you yelled out, "Beat you there!" to Sarah as you both haphazardly ran down the steps to get to the dock.
"You girls, be careful down those stairs now! Don't want y'all gettin' hurt," Joel yells out from behind. The two of you don't respond or slow down; you just keep giggling and running. Joel had to suppress a smile from appearing on his face. It brought him joy to hear how much fun Sarah was having with you.
Once you make it to the dock, Sarah flings off her towel and jumps into the lake with a squiel before she goes under water and floates back up. You quickly kick off your flip flops, throw your sunglasses down, and take off your shirt. Unlike Sarah, you didn't jump into the water, you sat down on the dock and scooched into the water.
Oh, come on! You should've jumped in!" She says this to you as she splashes you with water. You splashed her back.
"I'm too afraid, Sar-bear!" You yelled out to her, and she gasped. The men appeared from the concrete steps just as she did so. Joel dropped the towels in his arms before walking over in front of us, while your dad and Tommy moved to the other side of the dock with their beers and their folding chairs.
"Dad, can you believe that she's too afraid to jump into the water?" Sarah yells out to her dad.
He looked down at you from the dock with his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Really? It's not that scary, sweetheart," He tells you.
"Then how about you get in, Joel?" You say to him without even thinking.
"Yeah, come on, dad. Get in and show her how it's done!" Sarah yells out as she encourages her dad to get in.
You watched Joel as he took off his shoes and shirt, all while keeping his eyes on you. You couldn't help but suck in a breath and bite your bottom lip when he pulled off his shirt. You got a glimpse of his shirtless chest. Joel wasn't the most muscular man, but whatever his job was, it kept him fit, and you loved it. Your eyes quickly scanned over his neck, then his broad shoulders.
Those damn shoulders of his. You wished you could hold onto them as you rode on his co-
Your thoughts were abruptly shattered when Joel took a big leap into the lake, causing a splash of water to hit your face and go up your nose. You tried to make an attempt at turning your head, but it was too late. You coughed as you tried to clear the water from your lungs. As you do so, Joel comes up from beneath the water.
He gasped as he allowed the air back into his lungs and used his big hands to wipe his face. Once he noticed that you were coughing, he quickly swam over to you with a look of concern.
"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked you as you let out one last cough and nodded your head. He brought his hand up to stroke the side of your head and gave you this tender look before pulling away when he noticed that Sarah was coming over.
If it were just you and Joel on the lake, he would've probably pulled you into his body and placed a soft kiss on your lips.
Even though he had just gotten into the lake, Joel decided to get out before he did something that he would regret.
"Alright, girls. I'm gonna get out now." He says more to Sarah than to you. Once again, you just nodded your head at him. You knew that if you spoke, you'd embarrass yourself again.
"Wha-Dad! You literally just got in." She tries to convince him, but he just shook his head and grabbed onto the rails. He pulls himself up with a grunt and walks onto the dock.
"I'll get back in in a little bit." He dismissed her as he went to get a towel.
Sarah began to say something to you as she swam around you, but you were too focused on Joel to listen to what she was saying. She was too busy talking to notice that you weren't listening. Your attention was stuck on Joel, and his wet shorts stuck to his surprisingly nice ass. He then turns around as he dries off. Your eyes drifted down and widening when you saw his bulge. You were taken aback by the sight.
Oh my god, you thought to yourself.
You looked back up at his face to realize that Joel was already staring at you and smirking while he wrapped the towl around his waist.
Oh fuck!
He obviously saw you staring at his cock because he was fucking smirking.
Joel walked over to have a seat with his brother and your dad. You diverted your attention back to Sarah, acting as if you knew what she was talking about. You just nodded your head a couple of times, and she believed it, but again, your mind drifted.
You were thinking about her dad; snap out of it for Christ's sake.
For the rest of your time at the lake, you refused to look at Joel. And just as promised, Maria finally joined you all about an hour later with the popsicles she said she would bring. Once we ate them, Maria convinced the other adults to have a swim in the lake, to which they all agreed after some groans and pressure from her and Sarah.
...
After spending most of the afternoon outside, everyone went off to do their own thing. Sarah decided to take a shower and then go to sleep while your dad, Tommy, and Maria opted to go out to a bar that a local had told them about, and Joel refused to go out tonight because he said that he was beat from the lake. As for you, you took a quick shower and decided to watch the sunset on the balcony that was connected to your room and smoke.
Before slipping onto the balcony, you grabbed a preroll and a lighter from the pouch, your headphones, and a water bottle from the bed.
When you first got here, you didn't notice that there was a door connected to the balcony that led to Joel's room. However, the sheer curtains were closed, so you could only assume that he was asleep, meaning it was safe for you to smoke without him seeing you. You sat down on the lounge chair, put your headphones on, turned on some music, and began your session.
After two hits of the preroll, you felt the effects of the weed. Your body began to relax, and your eyelids felt slightly heavy. As you continued smoking, you couldn't escape the thought of Joel. You know that he is your dad's friend, and you would never think to go after him, but you have to admit that he is an attractive older man. Just your type.
You barely spoke to him throughout the couple of hours you had been there, yet you could tell the type of man he was. He is very reserved, doesn't speak unless spoken to, and likes to observe. Joel is respectful, but he didn't take shit from anyone. It was very visible that he was protective of not only Sarah but also Tommy.
Everything about him drew you in more and more.
With a few more hits of your preroll, you see a figure standing in the corner of your eye just a few feet away from you, causing you to quickly pull off your headphones and flick the preroll from your fingers and off the balcony. You look over to see Joel watching you with his eyebrows frowned and his hands on his hips. Your eyes widen with shock.
"Shit! I mean, hey, Joel..." You smile up at him awkwardly, trying to seem as sober as possible. "What are you doing out here?" You asked him in a sickly sweet voice. He continues to stare at you before answering.
"I just came out here to check on you. Heard you out here, so I decided to see what you were up to." Joel grumbles as he switches his weight to his other foot.
You prayed that Joel didn't know you were out here smoking weed; your dad would kill you if he heard about you doing this. Little did you know that your attempt would be a complete failure. As soon as Joel walked outside, he could smell the smoke and aroma of weed. He could also see your bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, yknow, nothing much really, just out here enjoying the view and listening to music!" You say this while waving your hand, gesturing to the view in front of both of you. You visibly cringe after this sentence because, even though it was the truth, it wasn't the full truth. He seemed to buy it, so you relaxed a bit.
"Mm, you enjoyed yourself today?" he asked.
"Yeah, I had a lot of fun today. Sarah definitely made it fun for me, she's amazing." You admitted to him, and it was true. His daughter was truly a joy to be around.
"Yeah," He laughs out as he looks out at the sunset, his handsome smile threatening to appear on his face. "She's amazing, for sure." He whispers. You can't help but smile at his words. It was refreshing to see that there was someone who was able to crack his hard exterior.
A silence falls over the two of you before he speaks up again. "Y'know, when we were walking back to the car after the lake, she talked about you the whole time. I couldn't shut up about how much cooler you are than Tommy and me." He scoffs as he rolls his eyes playfully and folds his arms to his chest. His confession made you laugh so hard that you couldn't stop, which caused him to laugh as well.
"I mean, she isn't wrong." You teasingly say it to him, causing him to shake his head.
"Yeah-fuckin'-right, darlin'. I can be cool, too."
"Mmhmm.." You reply back to him as you turn your head to look back at the view. However, Joel's eyes remained on you, but you didn't mind too much.
Once again, silence fell over you two. You wanted to look back at Joel, but you knew that if you looked at him in the eyes, your heart would beat out of your chest.
"Did you enjoy yourself, Joel?" You asked him without looking at him.
"What?" Joel asked.
Was he that engrossed in my face that he wasn't even paying attention, or were you not loud enough?
You suppress your laugh as you turn your head to look at him again. "I asked if you enjoyed yourself today." He quickly snaps out of his trance and looks away.
"Oh, yeah, it was enjoyable for the most part, sweetie," Joel sighs out. You said nothing else after this.
You didn't realize it until now, but you were starting to grow tired from the weed. You also wanted a snack.
"Well, I'm going to head back in, maybe fall asleep to a movie or something." You tell him as you grab your belongings, get up from the chair, and walk to the door.
"Alright," He says as he watches every step you take. "And one last thing, darlin'," You stop with your hand on the doorknob and look up at Joel as you wait to hear what he has to say. With a mix of your high and the nervousness you were feeling because of Joel, your heart was pounding out of your chest at this point.
"You don't gotta lie to me, sweet girl. You know that, right?" He says lowly as he motioned to his eyes.
Fuck!
Your body tenses up, and you freeze. You decided to play dumb, even though you were caught. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Joel," You say as you let out a nervous laugh. Your eyes shifted to the ground, avoiding eye contact with Joel like a guilty puppy.
"Oh, no need to play stupid with me, sweet girl; I won't tell your daddy." Something about the way he said these words made you want him so bad; it was almost like he was teasing you.
You felt your walls crumbling, no longer feeling the need to lie to him. "You swear, Joel?" You asked him as you looked at him with pleading eyes.
Joel wished that you would look at him with those pretty eyes while you were on your knees, pleading and begging for him to feed you his cock. In all honesty, he'd give you the world if you asked for it with that look. You made Joel feel something he hasn't felt for a woman in years, and he was willing to do just about anything to have you. However, he could tell you weren't ready for that yet, but he knew in due time he'd have you.
"You have my word, darlin'," He nods his head. "Just don't lie to me again," Joel tells you as he points a finger.
You frantically nod your head in agreement as you bite your lip. "I won't do it again, Joel."
All Joel could think about was how obedient you are, so eager to please him and do as he says. He could feel his cock getting hard in his shorts as he looked at your bare thighs and had these thoughts. Not once did you realize that Joel was checking you out.
Oh, how badly Joel wanted to grab your chin and kiss those lips of yours. He kept reminding himself that he needed to be patient.
"Good." He says before speaking up again. "You should go inside, darlin', maybe get some rest." Joel insisted as he made his way to the door and gave you one last look before walking inside, leaving you outside by yourself.
You stand there dumbfounded for a moment as you think about your interaction with Joel. You weren't sure if it was just you thinking too much into the interaction, but you felt like there was some sexual tension between you and Joel.
Any time you're around him, nervousness takes over, and a sense of yearning aches deep in your bones.
You needed him badly.
"Don't," You say to yourself. "Don't fucking think about it." You say it lowly as you try to shake the thoughts out of your head.
Joel is off limits; he's your dad's best friend.
You realized how crazy you must look standing at the door thinking about Joel, so you went inside.
Once you entered the room, you noticed that it was a little too warm in there for your liking, so you decided to leave the balcony door cracked to get some fresh air.
You put your things away, got into bed, and watched a movie on the TV across the room.
...
You weren't sure when you fell asleep, but you did during the movie without even realizing it. You felt very discombobulated, so you sat in the dark for a few minutes. Your clothes felt disgusting on your body as you sweated through them, and your throat was dry.
You quickly got out of bed, slipped off your clothes, got back into bed, and took a sip of the water bottle that lay next to you. During this, you got a glimpse of the digital clock that sat on the bedside table. It read 12:48.
The house was quiet. You were sure that Maria, Tommy, and your dad were back from the bar by now and asleep. Sarah and Joel were probably sleeping as well.
You laid back down on the bed, pushing away the uncomfortable blanket, leaving your body bare. You should have gotten up to close the door because if Joel were to come to your balcony door, he'd surely get a glimpse of your naked body. However, you were still sleepy and a little high, so you lacked the motivation to get up.
It really didn't matter anyway; he's probably still sleeping.
You had laid restless in the bed, constantly flipping the pillows to get the cool side and changing positions, but you still couldn't sleep. You decided to lay on your stomach; it helped you fall asleep sometimes.
You knew one thing that would definitely make you fall asleep, but with a particular someone lingering in your thoughts, it felt wrong. It is completely wrong to have these thoughts about him.
He's way too old for you, and he's your dad's best friend.
Though you tried your best to resist these thoughts, you couldn't help yourself.
Fuck it, it's not like I'm gonna actually fuck him, you think to yourself.
You were suddenly taken back to earlier, when you first laid eyes on him. Those eyes and the curve of his nose. You wanted nothing more than to feel his beautiful nose rub against your clit while he ate you out.
Or when he shook your hands and you felt those thick, rough fingers against your smooth hands.
You were sure that Joel knew how to use them very well.
Subconsciously, your hips had bucked into the bed, trying to get friction onto your clit causing the headboard to hit against the wall ever-so-slightly.
"Shit!" You cursed out loud, hoping that Joel didn't hear. Your heart was pounding at the thought of being caught by him, but your pussy dripped with your wetness.
You waited a couple seconds until you took your hand from underneath the pillow and slowly moved it between the bed and your body, allowing your finger tips to graze against your pussy. You couldn't help but whimper at the feeling. Your arousal ran down your fingers, to your knuckles, and onto the bed.
What you didn't know was that Joel wasn't even in his room; he was sitting out on the balcony. He had been sitting out there for about an hour or so because he couldn't sleep, not with you on his mind, so he decided to sit out there and bore himself to death until he got some sleep. When he first came outside, he checked on you and saw that you were knocked out. The room was dark, and the only thing that brought some light to the room was the bright moonlight reflecting over the lake.
As Joel got up to check on you one last time before he went back to his room, he heard you let out a whimper. He slowly walked to your balcony door so that he wouldn't scare you in case you were having a nightmare, but that wasn't the case at all. Again, Joel heard you let out another noise.
First, you sharply gasped, then moaned out, "Oh, Fuck!"
Joel became more intrigued with whatever was going on in your room because it became very apparent that you weren't having a nightmare. In fact, it didn't even sound like you were sleeping anymore.
Like a thief in the night, Joel peered through the door that was half open. What he saw before him could've brought him to his knees.
You were lying down on your stomach, fully naked on the bed. He noticed that with your right hand, you were touching yourself. Joel wasn't hard before, but he's definitely hard now. He felt as his cock strained against the fabric of his shorts.
Joel knew it was wrong to watch you masturbate without knowing, but he couldn't take his eyes off of you. It had been nearly two years since the last time he had been sexually active, and quite honestly, it was catching up to him at that very moment. He had been so busy with everything in his life that sex was the last thing on his mind until now.
As Joel watched you hump your hips into your fingers, you were imagining a shirtless Joel sat up on the bed, with you sitting in between his legs. Your legs would be wide open, propped up over his, as you allowed his calloused middle and ring finger to collect your arousal from between your folder and rub it into your clit. With his deep Texas accent, he would be whispering into your ear about how much of a good girl you are and how wet you were for him. Your head would be laid on his sexy, broad shoulders as your eyes rolled with pleasure. You imagined that as he played with your clit, his other hand would touch your breast and quickly tweak your nipples as they continued going up and firmly wrapping around your neck.
You were so caught up in your thoughts and pleasure that you hadn't realized that you were moaning out Joel's name.
"J-Joel, please," You quivered out quietly enough so that you weren't too loud, but loud enough for Joel to hear. "I'll be good, p-please, daddy." You followed up.
Even though you thought that Joel was in the next room over (which he wasn't) and there were other people in the house, you still continued to touch yourself as the headboard faintly knocked against the wall.
Yet you were so blissfully unaware of it all. So unaware of the fact that Joel was standing right outside the door, watching you rubbing yourself completely nude, and unaware that Joel had pulled his cock out while he watched and listened to you.
Joel didn't care that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't care that watching you, this freshly 21-year-old, masturbate without your knowledge was bad.
The sounds of your panting, moans, and dirty talk made him want to walk right into the room and give you the pleasure you needed.
Joel has always been a selfish lover when it came to the bedroom; he liked to be the one who was dominant and always took control. He could tell you needed someone like him to fulfill your desires—not some foolish 20-something year old, but a real man.
As you continued to grind against your fingers, Joel saw how your ass moved back and forth. He wanted to spank you for being such a naughty girl. Touching yourself without asking for his permission. He would remind you that only slutty, bad girls did that.
He jerked his cock at the same speed as your hips moved. "Oh my god, daddy!" You moaned into the pillow, causing it to be muffled. The thrusting of your hips had sped up. You were on the cusp of cumming, but that changed when you suddenly pulled your hands from between your legs and got up to change positions.
You were now lying on your back with your legs bent up to your chest as far as they could go. Using the hand you just used to grind up against, you bring your middle and ring fingers to your mouth. You began to suckle on them intensely, pretending they were Joel's fingers. You could taste yourself as you did so.
A minute later, you pop your fingers out of your mouth and bring them down to your pussy. As you sink your fingers inside yourself, you can feel the wetness, allowing you to slip deeper into your tight hole. You squirmed as you felt a little discomfort due to your fingers. You decided to slowly thrust your fingers in and out, allowing yourself to get used to the feeling. With your free hand, you brought it up to your mouth to muffle your soft whines.
Oh, my baby, she can barely take her own fingers, Joel thought as he watched you.
To Joel's surprise, you still didn't see him standing by the door, hastily jerking himself off at the sight of you. It wasn't like he was being discreet about it either. He was almost fully through the door at that point. Your eyes were closed as you fingered yourself.
Finally, you were able to adjust to your fingers. As you picked up the speed, Joel could hear the wet, slick sounds coming from your pussy all the way across the room. Hearing this only heightens the pleasure for him.
"Joel, I'm-oh my god-I'm gonna cum!" You moaned lowly.
Joel wanted to be the one to make you cry, but he knew he couldn't at that moment.
Your messy wetness had allowed your fingers to go deeper inside, causing you a certain spot. Your legs shuddered as your finger tips grazed the spot. In a 'come here' motion, you continued to hit the spot over and over again. "Fuck! That's it, baby. Keep going just like that." You purred out.
Joel convulsed at the way you said these words. He was ready to cum at any moment, but he wanted to cum with you.
With his hand still rapidly moving up and down his length, he finally heard your release.
"Yes! I'm cumming all over your fingers, Joel!" You moaned a little louder this time. Joel could hear you breathing hard as you continued to ramble about how good it felt.
Instantly, Joel was cumming. He withheld his groans and grunts as the hot cum hit the palm of his other hand. Instead, he was breathing hard through his nose, hoping to God that you couldn't hear him.
Finally, your orgasm began to die down. "Oh my god," You sighed out blissfully, as you pulled your finger from your pussy. Your legs moved from your chest and you dropped down on the bed. You were still trying to catch your breath. With his mind still cloudy from cumming so hard, when Joel saw you move your legs, he thought that you were going to get off the bed, causing him to panic and move away from the door so that you couldn't see him.
You could feel the cum webbing between your two fingers. You decided that you wanted a look, so you opened your eyes and brought your hand close to your face. You could see the bright moonlight illuminate your cum. You'd never come so hard. Not with any of your hookups, let alone when you masturbated.
You felt spent after that, but you needed to get up to clean yourself off. You decided to rest your eyes a bit before getting up, but without even realizing it, you had dozed off into a dreamless sleep.
Less than five minutes later, Joel heard light snores coming from your room, so he decided that it was safe to look again. You were dead to the world. Joel saw your limp hand hanging off the bed—the same one you had used to fuck yourself with. He could see the wetness gleaming on your fingers. He wanted to come over them and suck your cum off of your fingers, but he stopped himself.
The post-nut clarity had hit Joel, and he realized that he must've looked like a creep with his cock out while he watched you sleep. So he closed your balcony door and headed back into the house to wash the cum from his hands.
Joel knew that he would have you one day; it didn't matter how long it took for him to get you. He would get you right where he wanted you eventually.
...
You woke up feeling like a brand new person that morning. Your limbs felt loose, and you felt like you could conquer the world.
You could feel the sun on your naked body as you rose out of bed to stretch. The sounds of people moving around let you know that everyone was awake.
You suddenly realized that the balcony door was now closed. You don't remember getting up to clean yourself, and you definitely don't remember ever getting up to close the door.
Realization had hit you hard, and your heart dropped.
Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
There was no way anyone could have come into your room because you had locked the bedroom door. However, Joel had access to the shared balcony.
He was the only one who could've closed that door.
Whatever, you were going to enjoy yourself this weekend and act like nothing happened.
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A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this for some reason, but next one is going to be a lot better. I got so much planned already hehe
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aemondsbabe · 4 months
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Arbor Gold
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summary: sharing a drink & toys || rhaenyra treats you to a very special night out
pairing: modern!rhaenyra x f!reader
warnings: mature/explicit, 18+ (minors dni!), no use of y/n, afab reader, wlw, public, fingering, use of a toy, vibrators, mentions of alcohol, mommy kink, sub!reader, allusions to oral, let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 1.9k
a/n: happy day three of 12 days of smuff!! i was sweating writing this one, i can't lie lmao
12 days of smuff masterlist!
gif creds to @gameofthronesdaily!
likes, comments, & reblogs are very appreciated but never required!
🌟add yourself to my taglist to be notified when i post new fics!
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“Oh, that’s perfect,” Rhaenyra says to the waiter, watching with a smile as he finishes pouring two glasses of wine with a fancy flourish before setting the bottle on the table, “Thank you.” 
With a polite nod, the waiter takes his leave, leaving you and your girlfriend alone once more. Your eyes scan the room once again, taking in the fancy dark wood paneling on the walls and the way the vintage crystal chandeliers sparkled as they cast a low, moody light over the room; the soft instrumental music coupled with the dull hum of other couples and groups of friends sharing quiet conversations comforted you despite the circumstances. 
Finally, you let your eyes sweep over Rhaenyra and your lips instantly curved into a soft, sweet smile as you took her in, watching as she took a sip of the decadent Arbor Gold wine. This whole little adventure had been her idea – something fun and new to do, she’d said. 
And she doesn’t disappoint, you think with a slight shiver as you shift a bit in the plush booth, the small vibrator she’d taken oh-so much care to work into you earlier presses deliciously against that small, sensitive patch within you. 
“Everything alright, sweetling?” Rhaenyra asks, finally catching your eyes from where you’d been absentmindedly staring at the flickering tea candle on the table. 
You smile and take her hand as she presses in closer to you, your bare shoulders nearly touching. You can’t help but admire her dress, a mirror copy of yours in every way aside from the color – the dark, blood red silk contrasts so beautifully against her soft, pale skin while the dim lights of the small bar dance off of the black silk of your own dress in smooth, pearlescent waves. 
“I’m fine, Nyra,” you can’t help but reassure her with a soft smile as you poke your tongue out to wet your lips before pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, “Just wondering when exactly you plan to start the show.” You tease, nodding to her phone. 
“Now where would the fun be in revealing all my tricks?” She gives as good as she gets, her eyes gleaming as she looks you over appreciatively. She takes another sip of the wine, taking the time to swirl it around in her glass before delicately pressing her lips to the rim. You can’t help but bite your lip as she closes her eyes with a pleased hum. “Have you had any of yours yet? You really need to try it, my love, it’s absolutely decadent.”
You reach across the table and grab your glass, swirling the pale yellow-gold liquid around in the same way Rhaenyra did before taking a sip, sighing happily as you taste all manner of sweet, fruity notes. 
You go to look at her with raised brows, about to compliment the expensive vintage as well, when she discreetly taps the screen of her phone. You only manage to get a soft, barely there squeak out as the vibrator comes to life inside you and buzzes softly against the most tender spot within you before Rhaenyra quickly leans over and presses her lips against yours, muffling the noise. 
You sigh gratefully against her lips as your eyes flutter shut, one of your hands squeezes at her thigh, and you’re grateful that each table is adorned with a long tablecloth as your hips seem to buck up by themselves for a second. 
She pulls away after a moment, once she can sense that you’ve calmed down some, and fixes you with a pleased grin before pressing one last, soft kiss against your shoulder. “That good already?” She teases, lifting her glass to her lips to take another sip of wine, “And to think, we’re only on the first level.”
You shiver, knuckles white as your fingers dig into the dark fabric of your dress, your hands pressed tightly against the tops of your thighs as you try and keep your hips still as Rhaenyra taps her phone screen, giggling as she turns the vibrations up a level. 
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Your skin is flushed, though you aren’t sure if it’s from the wine or from the incessant vibrations within you. You throw Rhaenyra another helpless glance, your fingers digging into her plush thigh as a warning that your peak is approaching. 
She merely huffs out a soft laugh next to you and reaches out to tuck a lock of your hair back behind your ear before cupping your cheek, her pale eyes dancing over your face as she admires the blush that’s bloomed across your skin. 
“Oh, pretty little thing,” she coos softly, smirking when she notices your lower lip trembling as you desperately try and bite back the moans threatening to spill from your lips, “Are you getting closer, my love?”
You nod as your walls clench desperately around the toy, the movement only serving to press it even more firmly against your sweet spot. You bite down on your bottom lip, your nails no doubt leaving small crescent moon marks against Rhaenyra’s delicate skin, as you try to control your breathing. 
Just as you’re about to whisper that you can’t take much more, the waiter reappears, walking up to your table with a polite smile. You nearly cry as Rhaenyra quickly turns off the toy, although you can’t say whether it’s from relief or frustration from being so, so close. 
“Is everything to your liking, ladies?” He asks, his gaze lingering on you for a second as he looks between the two of you.
“Everything is perfect.” Rhaenyra answers with a cool smile, casually taking a sip of wine. 
“Wonderful, and is there anything else I can do for you all this evening?”
“I think we’re good over here,” she says, smirking as she spares you a glance, “Just bring the check when you get a moment, please. No rush, though.”
“Of course, ma’am.” The waiter says with a polite nod before taking his leave. 
As soon as he’s gone, Rhaenyra presses herself close to you and you almost whine when you feel her breasts press against the side of your arm, her nipples hard and aching against the thin fabric of her dress. A chill goes through you at the realization that she’s enjoying this just as much as you are. 
“That was going to be a big one, wasn’t it, sweetling?” She murmurs softly, one of her warm hands skimming across your bare thigh as she tucks it under your dress. 
“Nyra, please,” you all but gasp, trembling next to her as your center aches, your walls squeezing helplessly at the toy, “Please…” You’re not even really sure what you’re asking for as you beg, your mind covered in a thick fog. 
“Mmm,” she sighs, relishing the way you squirm in her hold as she skirts her hand higher and higher up your thigh, until the edge of her fingers are just barely pressing against the center of your thin lace underwear, “I don’t think it’s Nyra tonight, my little darling.” She says with a soft shake of her head, a few strands of her silvery hair falling beautifully against her cleavage. 
“Mommy,” you correct yourself with a choked whimper, eyes glassy as you peer up at her, “Please, please.” 
“Please what?” She asks, the condescending edge to her voice making your head spin, “Please take you home? Please make you come?” She prompts, eyebrows raised slightly as she smirks. 
“I –,” you choke out, nearly jumping out of your skin when she turns the vibrator back on, not bothering to ease you into it as it buzzes away at a high speed, “F-Fuck.” You hiss, your body already tensing as the knot in your belly winds itself up at an alarming rate. 
“I think you want to come,” she says lowly, nodding her own head as if to answer the question for you, “Luckily for you, mommy’s in such a giving mood tonight.” She studies your face carefully as she pushes your underwear to the side, her eyes positively sparkling once she feels how wet you are. 
You bite your lip harshly, nearly drawing blood, as she begins rubbing circles over your aching bud, not bothering to warm you up as she normally does as her soft fingers press harshly against you. Your head spins as she works you up and up and up, your high building at nearly the same pace as the vibrations within you as she slowly increases the speed of the toy. 
Before you’ve even had a chance to process the sensations flowing through your body, your head snaps to her and your eyes are wide as you look at her desperately, soft squeaks sounding from your throat. She merely looks at you expectantly – she may be in a giving mood but that didn’t mean she had to make the getting easy. 
“M–,” You barely choke out the first syllable before your eyes squeeze shut, your core already starting to flutter around the small toy, “M-Mommy, mommy!” You urgently whisper, finally finding your voice before gritting your teeth, your breath catching in your throat just as you feel the very beginnings of a familiar tightening overtaking your belly. 
“Let mommy have it, sweetling,” Rhaenyra coos, not stopping the movements of her fingers as she feels your bud twitch against her fingers. She murmurs soft praises into your ear as your high washes over you, talking you through it as your hips squirm against the lush fabric of the booth. “That’s a very good girl. Is that such a big one, darling? You did so, so good for me, sweetling.”
Her soft praises nearly send you over the edge again, but thankfully she decides to spare you and turns off the vibrator before slowly extracting her hand from your underwear, taking a second to make sure to move them back into place for you, the small gesture making your heart skip a beat. 
She laughs softly next to you, the sound making you open your eyes and you nearly moan at the sight of her dipping a finger, still shining from where she’d touched you, into the half-full cup of wine in front of her. She takes a second to swirl it around before bringing it to her lips, her eyes gleaming as she sucks at the digit; the sight alone is enough to make your tender walls clamp down on the toy but the small, satisfied moan she makes just about sends you spiraling over the edge yet again. 
“That’s definitely my new favorite pairing.” She teases, smirking at the wide-eyed look on your face. 
“Nyra!” You laugh, your heart racing in your chest as you feel the butterflies in your tummy stir yet again while the two of you dissolve into flirtatious giggles. 
Just then, the waiter appears with the check, which Rhaenyra quickly scans over before passing her credit card to him. She turns to you as soon as he disappears around a corner, the coy look in her eyes making you feel flush all over again.
“I can’t wait to get you home, sweetling,” she sighs softly and presses a kiss against the curve of your neck before polishing off the last bit of wine in her cup, “Mommy is absolutely dying for something sweet for dessert…” She teases, raking her hand back up your thigh.
A giving mood, indeed.
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tagged lovelies: @helloworldiamnotarobot @drakonflames @marysucks-blog @watercolorskyy @valeskafics @iamaegontargaryenwife0 @aemshaircare @1997babyyyy @lovellies @little-moonbeam-666 @blackswxnn @alerisc
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hedgehog-moss · 6 months
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I've received some absolutely deranged anons since reblogging that post saying celebrating mass slaughter of civilians is fucked up no matter what. One ask saying "wtf are you talking about, no one is celebrating anything, people think Israel is the victim as always" was sandwiched between two other asks, one cheering for genocide, one confused and uncertain as to whether or not going house to house slaughtering entire families is always a bad thing. Not using the word genocide lightly btw, the first ask was like "death to colonizers, all colonizers should die, there are no civilians in Israel, the death toll should have been higher." Another ask was 3 paragraphs that amounted to a clearly satisfied "reap what you sow." What did the murdered babies sow exactly? Or the abducted grandma who was a lifelong peace activist, who regularly drove people from Gaza to Jerusalem for medical care? I've seen lots of such comments in the notes of one post the other day, bonkers levels of dehumanising antisemitism, which was what prompted me to reblog a post by someone with a moral compass.
For a lot of progressive social media 'activists' the question of whether or not to condemn child murder is a really complex moral dilemma when it's being done by the right oppressed group or, let's be honest, if it's Jewish children being murdered for a good cause. It's repulsive. The idea that you can "side" with the children trapped in Gaza subjected to war crimes by hesitating to condemn war crimes against children on the other side is repulsive. The adults at that music festival and in surrounding villages didn't deserve to be massacred either but it's hard not to keep focusing on the children in the process of desperately trying to find a line in the sand with people who claim to care about justice. I wasn't going to make any more posts because the last thing social media needs is more unaffected people giving their 2 cents on this topic, but yeah I'll just say, if your moral stance is that being oppressed and persecuted long enough gives you the right to fight for your land at any cost, including costs borne by innocent children, then you are ideologically aligned with Israel's current government. Not everything is justifiable if done by / to the "right" people in the "right" circumstances. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what absolute (not relativistic, not contingent on context, incentives, or purpose) moral values you hold—any at all—if you can't draw a line in the sand with "rape" and "child murder" always on the other side of it.
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dollwritesarchive · 1 year
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𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐨 — 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 & 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!gojo’s student!reader, dark fic, noncon, spit roasting, face fucking, deep throating, squirting, bukakke, all characters featured are 18+ 
𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ commissioned!! part two of pretty when you cry; you probably should read part one first. do not repost or translate. please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading &lt;; 3
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you knew you were fucked. 
the curses under Geto’s command had all dissipated; Gojo was no longer trying to fight them or their master, because he was too concerned with getting your mouth open and on him. for the first time, you were trying to disobey him; keeping your tiers sealed tight, you shook your head when he smeared the thick tip over your mouth. you could feel the glaze of precum on your lips, and you whine in protest. 
the worst part was that it wasn’t as if you didn’t want it. if it were under any other circumstances; if it were just you and Gojo and he asked, you would’ve dropped to your knees for him in a heart beat. who wouldn’t? but this? this was wrong. he wasn’t asking— he was panting ragged, trying to pry your lips apart, and you could tell by the force behind the way he rotated his hips to press against them, he was going to be tougher than he’d promised.
Gojo frowns, and mutters, “‘s okay. Open up, it’s me.” you were distinctly convinced that he wanted to tack ‘trust me’ on to that plea, but he must’ve thought better of it. he must’ve realized that he was in no position to ask you for trust. 
“She needs a little extra encouragement,” Geto hums, pressing the tip of his cock between your folds until they split and he can prod at your hole, “I can help with that.” his hand inches up between your shoulder blades, to grab a fistful of your hair at the back of your head, angle it straight ahead, and keep it there. Gojo releases your face, and instead rests his palm against your crown, applying enough pressure that you knew he was going to force it down when given the right opportunity. you feel a knot in your stomach, and your thighs quiver, your feet inching closer to Gojo’s, but you weren’t quick enough to prepare. Geto pushes forward and plunges deep without warning, forcing a yelp to break the sticky seal of your lips, and in that split second, both his fist and Gojo’s palm pushed down on your head. your cry is garbled by just how much cock you’re fed at once, eyes widening as you stare up at Gojo. you want to scream around him, and you do, to try and expel some of the pressure Geto has shoved into your core. but when you do, your mentor shudders with delight; your shrieking has translated into fierce vibrations that reverberate deep within him. 
“Good girl,” Gojo was barely speaking, his breath shaky and littered with moans. Geto was grunting, too, gripping your hair and using it to bob your head up and down on his rival, as deep as he could force you to take it, while he fucked you savagely from behind. “Suck for me… good…” 
pushing your tongue against the back of your throat, you try to stop him from reaching your gag reflex, your hands balling into tight fists against Gojo’s abdomen. you could feel the muscles contracting underneath your hands as he bucked his hips, but your brows were furrowed, your muffled sounds indignant and full of protest. 
you considered biting down on the thick cock trying to worm its way into your throat, and the edge of your teeth graze the muscle. 
Geto must’ve read your body language, because he slams his powerful hips against yours, and pushed your head down on Gojo with so much force that your tongue is pinned underneath Gojo’s cock and he slides all the way to the back of your throat, jabbing against your uvula. “Don’t get any wild ideas, cutie,” Geto hisses, while you scramble to accommodate all of him and all of Gojo simultaneously. “You bite, and Gojo’s going to let me get real mean. That right, Satoru?” 
Gojo bit down on his lip, hips oscillating to feel every inch of your cavern stuffed full, bulging from one of your cheeks before rocking forward, poking at your throat. he groans, and pets the top of your head. “As long as you’re sweet, we won’t hurt you.” now, you noticed, it was no longer Geto won’t hurt you, but the two of them together. it made your skin crawl. sure, you knew they had history, but as far as you were aware, that’s all that it was. you didn’t know that Gojo could turn just as wicked so easily, and although he was still crooning to you, still trying to convince you that he wanted to be nice about this, you were choking on him. you were impaled between them, breathless and stretched beyond what you could handle. “I told you that, didn’t I? Just give it up, sweetheart, and we’ll be done before you know it. Tell me you understand, tell me you’ll be good.” 
you couldn’t speak, but you clicked in pathetic submission, giving a partial nod with tears pricking in your eyes. Gojo runs his fingers up to shove Geto’s hand out of your hair so he could hold both sides of your head. “Say ahh, let me fuck your throat.” 
Geto scoffs, both hands gripping your hips tight as he pounds you relentless, now focused on just how tight your walls spasmed around him, and he stares down at your ass. it was so easy to watch the ripples when he pulled you back to meet his violent thrusting, and see his girth disappear, inch by inch, into your body. “She takes cock like a pro,” he mutters, incredulous, tilting his head and letting out a euphoric sigh when you grip him, “whether she wants to or not.” he’s smirking when he says it, bringing a palm down quick to swat at your ass and watch you jump and mewl. 
and you were trying not to listen to him. 
eyes big and watery, you look up at Gojo and allow your jaw to hang slack, tongue oozing drool as you begrudgingly give him the gargling sound he’d asked for. “Ahh—!” 
Gojo’s hips snap quick, fucking your face as he holds it steady, and that moan trails off into clucking, each time his tip batters the back of your throat. with every thrust, it reaches a new depth until you would gag and your eyes would roll back. spit bubbles out from the corners of your mouth, leaving webs as it rolls down on to your breasts and the floor below you. 
both of your hands try to splay flat against Gojo’s belly, but he’s gyrating much too quick for you to stay steady, your forehead bouncing against his abdomen. and then there was Geto, who’d only gotten rougher, fucking you hard and fast until your knees turn in against each other just to keep from buckling. “Fuck,” he rasps when you tremble, struggling to stay standing, “am I already hitting that off button in your brain, slut? Is it right here?” punctuating his question, he pounds into the same spot until you can nearly feel the thoughts melting away, your nails biting at Gojo in a scrambling attempt to stay upright and fully coherent, but with one, excruciatingly calculated thrust, Geto bullies a knot of hyper sensitive nerves and you squeal, stumbling forward and sliding off of his cock into a shaking heap on the floor. “There she goes.” he whistles, wickedly, grabbing hold of his cock to pump a couple of furious strokes off of it, watching you squirm and cough and whine on the floor. 
“I’d stick it in now, Satoru,” Geto teased, pressing the sole of his foot against your ass, claiming your defeat, “I tenderized the little whore just for you. She should cum like a fountain when you fuck her.” 
it’s a sickening feeling, the emptiness, the nerves contracting wildly inside you, your ass quivering and bouncing up and down as you try to regain control over your own body, and the cold, hard ground you’d landed on with your belly. Gojo follows your descent, hitting his knees on the ground, holding your head up with one fist full of your hair. 
“No— more—“ you pant, shaking your head, drool and precum soaking your chin. “Can’t— breathe—“
but, Gojo wasn’t trying to shove himself back into your slack lips. oh no, your teacher was pulling you closer to him by your hair, and he was moaning before you even touched him again, just pushing you into the right position was enough to elicit those sordid moans. “C’mere, baby…” he was muttering, pulling you up on to his lap, “come sit on my cock.” 
but you were so sensitive, you shook your head, breathlessly trying to protest. you couldn’t imagine another round like the gauntlet you’d been put through already. “Sensei… I can’t…” 
but Gojo was already positioning you on his lap, allowing you a moment to hover over his erection, and he grabs your face with both hands, nodding fervently. “Just bounce up and down. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I just need to feel that sensitive, little pussy clench. You can take it.” you were still shaking your head, whining in hapless protest, when he pushes you down. your back arches, only allowing him deeper entry, and your head falls back. hands falling from your face, down the length of your torso and finally resting on the flare of your hips, Gojo grunts when your walls spasm against the intrusion. “You’re still so fucking tight…” he’s thicker than Geto, but not quite as long. you stretch further, your walls wrapping around him like an elastic band. 
“Even though she’s sloppy wet?” Geto asks, impishly, as he too kneels down. from behind, his hand snakes around to rub at your swollen clit, and you cry for him not to. “Is it too much?” he asks, mocking your pout, nuzzling against your tear-stained cheek, “Are you going to break?” you nod, wrapping nothing hands weakly around his wrist, but Gojo is already bouncing you up and down, grinding your body into his each time. you were in sensory overload— you knew that much; with your head falling back to loll against Geto’s shoulder, your muscles hardly strong enough to coax your nails to scratch at his wrist, your mouth hangs open, allowing a weak and broken string of yowling to erupt from within you. Geto growls against your ear, pumping his cock with his free hand, getting off to the sound of you losing yourself. “That’s too bad.” 
Gojo moans your name, blissed out and grabbing handfuls of your ass to keep your body grinding against him. “Don’t black out yet, baby, just a little longer…” he grinds his teeth, wildly bucking his hips to fill you to the point of bursting with cock over and over again. your breasts swing to the beat of his assault, “cum for me… come on, I know you’re close.” 
you were so fucking close. 
you felt like you were about to explode, and, even as you tried to hold it in, you erupt like a geyser with little but his begging for it, the hard cock in your guts, and Geto strumming you mercilessly. 
the whiniest, protesting shriek is what you let out before you gush, drenching Gojo’s groin, and shake, helpless. Geto’s howling happily, rubbing you fierce until you slump forward against your mentor, and Gojo is grunting in awe-filled lust, stilling your body so that he can drive himself home with a handful of maddening, hard thrusts before shoving you off of him. 
sliding back on to the floor, you sag against it like a sack of potatoes, babbling incoherent. you were sticky and wet all over, from saliva to sweat to cum, you couldn’t tell which mixed with what, and you couldn’t keep your eyes open. fucked out, used to the very limit.
 but they still weren’t done. 
“Look here,” Gojo coaxes, taking your hair up again to pull your head up. you squint against the light in your eyes, trying to find the strength. you could smell yourself on both of the cocks that now rub against your cheeks, and you want to turn away from the humiliation. “Look at us.” 
but you obey, batting sticky eyelashes. 
the two decimaters tower over you, both stroking themselves with one hand, the other holding on to you— Gojo with his hand wrapping a fist in your knotted hair, and Geto grabs your face to keep it angled upwards. and they both moan, snort through their nostrils and curse under their ragged breathing like wild beasts. 
you tremble, watching the display with one eye closed, squinting against the release Geto spurts over your face. 
but Gojo isn’t far behind— in a moment’s time, he’d painted the other cheek, splattered your lips with it, smearing the cocktail of tears, spit, and both of their cum together with a breathy whine. “I’ve… never seen you look so pretty.” 
Geto arches a brow, giving your swollen lips a couple of taps with the throbbing tip of his manhood, before letting go, allowing your head to drop forward. “See now, that was easy enough, wasn’t it?” he looks to Gojo, before giving him a hard pat on the shoulder. “Now, she can be your personal set of holes. Always cockhungry and brainless. Hell, she’s going to be addicted to the abuse. She’ll beg you for it.” he grins, gripping Gojo’s collar to pull him close so that he may growl in his ear, “Don’t say I never did anything for you, Satoru.” 
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musingginger · 1 year
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separate ways // eddie munson
Synopsis – Eddie sure does love to torment you and turn you into putty in his hands. 😊
Pairing- Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Eddie Munson x You
Warnings –some cursing, fluff, lots of nicknames (princess, sweetheart, angel), no Y/N, SMUTTY SMUT SMUT, 18+ only, minors DNI, cockwarming, grinding, lots of fingering (receiving), nipple play, soft!eddie, a tad bit of possessive!eddie if you squint, softdom!eddie, praise, squirting.
Word Count – 3.2k
A/N- I *clap* WANT *clap* THIS *clap* SO *clap* BADLY*clap*!  *screams into pillow* This idea got me wildly hot, so I of course had to write it down for all of y’all. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated. Also, this is only edited by me, so apologies if there are typos. And of course, if you enjoy it, please reblog! Hope you enjoy! Thanks! <3
I do not grant permission for anyone to use my work. Under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.
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You were going to lose your mind if he kept it up.
It was a typical Friday night in the trailer. Eddie threw on one of his new favorite slasher flicks, Sleepaway Camp. You had probably watched it close to 10 times in the last two months. Eddie had you laying with your back to his chest, in between his legs. You loved laying like this against him. You could feel every breath, every laugh, every jump scare (though he vehemently denied it every time). And of course, every little kiss on the top of your ear Eddie gave you when you got scared yourself.
But tonight, something was different.
Tonight, you wore a cute new red plaid mini skirt that you had gotten for Christmas. You loved the way it looked with your beat-up combat boots. Subconsciously, you might have worn it to torment Eddie… he’s always said he had an affinity for skirts and combat boots. When you got to the trailer, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.
“Sweetheart… is that-uh-is that new?” He licks his lips, clearing his throat, trying to get the words out.
“Yeah baby! You like it?” You give him a little twirl on the porch.
“You-uh-you could say that again, sweetheart.” He smirks, giving you that boyish smile as he scratched the back of his head. He sticks his head out of the doorframe, looking right and left. “You better get in here before you start getting cat called and someone asks me where my girlfriend went.”
Eddie grabbed your hand firmly and yanked you inside.
That was two hours ago.
Now you were comfortably in between Eddie’s legs, watching Sleepaway Camp. His large warm hand was laying gently on your thigh.  His mouth had been getting closer to your ear for the last few min, and he was now breathing hotly against your delicate skin.
He gently starts to stroke your thigh with his left hand. You gasp a little as cold rings hit your skin, making you shiver.
“You ok, angel?” He asks gently, whispering in your ear, tilting his head to get a good look at you.
You nod, catching your breath and trying to focus on the movie. You clear your throat, shaking your head a little bit, adjusting slightly.
“Uncomfortable, sweetheart?” Eddie gives you a little peck on your cheek. His long trestles tickling your face.   
You shake your head. “Nope… all good, Eds.” You turn your head back, giving him a cheeky smile.
“Well as long as your comfortable… You can always tell me to move or stop…” He smirks, giving your nose a tiny kiss as his other hand starts to gently fiddle with the hem of your skirt. The touch makes your breath hitch, as you look up into his big, brown eyes.
“You gotta pay attention to the movie sweetheart…” He lifts his pointer finger, making a small circle, encouraging you to turn back around. You roll your eyes, turning your head back to the movie. For the amount of times he’s gotten distracted during a movie, god forbid if it was YOU that got distracted.
You both lay there for a few minutes, his fingers tracing along the bottom of the plaid. He carefully and softly starts to pull your thighs apart.
“Eddie…” You say softly, your face getting warm and you feel hot all over.
“Shh sweetheart, the movie. It’s just now getting to the good part.” Eddie kisses the top of your head, smirking.  His broad hand lightly grips the inner part of your thigh, dutifully pulling apart your legs until your skirt is hiked up on your upper thighs. You let out a little moan as you feel the cool air hit your panties, which had gotten, surprisingly, ridiculously wet.
Eddie gently pulls your skirt up a little more, just enough where he could see the tiniest bit of your panties. He bites his lip softly, smiling to himself. He had been wanting to get you into this position since you got here. Eddie strokes you with his rough, calloused thumb on your smooth thigh while his other hand starts to move towards the ever growing heat under your panties.
Suddenly, you feel gentle pressure on your clit. Not too much. Just enough. The touch from Eddie’s fingers on both sides of your sensitive nub makes you start to squirm. Firm circles start to encompass your hot button, making your thighs start to clench together.
“Ah ah ah… no no sweetheart.” Eddie murmurs in your ear as he hooks his ankles around your calves, pushing your legs back open and KEEPING them open. He wasn’t gonna let you move an inch, and you let him. You liked it.
“That’s my good girl…” he murmurs in your ear, possessively patting your pussy. He slides fingers back under your panties, rubbing your clit lighter. The movement makes you roll your eyes back and instinctively buck up into his hand.
Eddie smirks and taps your firm bud delicately. “Sweetheart, if you move too much, I’ll stop…. And you don’t want me to do that now do you?”
You bite your lip, shaking your head from side to side. You hold your hips down, trying your hardest not to move a muscle. After a minute or so, Eddie starts to rub your clit again.
Soft, messy sounds start to fill the room from your dripping wet pussy. God, he really knew how to really work you up. Firm circles, followed by gentle slides became his rhythm and it was driving you crazy. He hikes up your skirt around your waist, giving him a full view.
“You soaked through your panties, angel….” You whine on top of him, unable to speak.
Suddenly, his fingers leave your clit, making you whine softly. Eddie reaches over to his side table to pull out a pair of scissors, in which he quickly cuts your panties off of you at your hips.
“Eds! What are you-?” You softly protest, as Eddie shushes you softly.
“You don’t need those, now do you sweetheart?” Putting away the scissors, he slowly peels the white fabric off your soaking cunt. The action itself almost makes you cum. You start to arch your back, but remember what he said about moving, and you lay back against him, giving him your full body weight.
Cool night air hits your soaked pussy like a brick wall, that makes you shudder. Eddie lets go of your thigh and moves his hands up your sides slowly. He starts to lift your shirt, showing off your full tits.
“Can’t be neglecting these now can I sweetheart?” He moans softly in your ear, as he pulls up your bra, exposing your chest to him. He groans softy as his big hands grope your tits, making his bulge throb against your back.
You move your fingers towards your acing nub, but before you can get there, Eddie swats your hand away.
“Now now… you’ve gotta be a good girl for me, remember? Good girls don’t touch without asking. And you’re not allowed to touch at all.” He says a little roughly, putting your hand back on his thigh. You nod, understanding.
“I’ll be a good girl. I promise Eds.” You whisper horsely. He turns your head to give you a deep kiss, booping your nose.
“I know you will princess…” He slightly adjusts, focusing back on your heaving chest.
Moaning hotly in your ear, his pointer fingers and thumbs gently pinch and twist your sensitive nipples. You groan softly while he plays with your hard nubs, your fingers gripping into his thighs a little harder.
“Look at you being such a good girl for me.” He kisses your cheek firmly, while he tugs a little harder. The slight pain makes you yelp from pleasure, making you drip from your slick hole.
“MMmmm that’s it. Let me take care of you babygirl.” His strong tongue licks your earlobe, biting it roughly while he watches your body shiver and shake from his touch.
He lets go of your right nipple, moving back down to your pussy, which you were sure by this point had left a little pool on the bed. Expertly finding your clit again, he tenderly strokes you with his thumb. You gasp, pushing your head to the side, into his shoulder a bit.
“Eddie… Eds please… please… I want to…” You groan louder as you body starts to shake under him. You can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence.
“You want to what sweetheart? You know you have to use your words…” He says teasingly, biting your neck.
“I wa.. I want to cum Eds.” You whine at him, yelping as his thumb strokes your bud a little harder.
Eddie smiles devilishly. “Well, you know princess that want, and need are two very different things… and I need to you to NEED to cum. Do you understand?” He whispers softly into your ear. His curly locks touching the side of your face.
“Yes Eddie... yes… I need to cum.” You whimper against him.
He makes a small tsk sound. “Mmm I’m not quite convinced yet sweetheart.” He starts to use the pads of his pointer and middle fingers to diligently rub your clit. The action makes you furrow your brow, moaning a little louder now.
“Does that feel good princess?” Eddie moans into your ear. The action of getting you off was getting him harder than he had maybe ever been before.
“Mmhmm yes Eds it feels…ah… really good.. don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” You whimper against him. Eddie leaves wet kisses along your neck and collarbone while he keeps pinching your nipple and perfectly rubbing your bundle of nerves.
You could barely hear the screams from the tv over Eddie’s panting in your ear. The sensation was becoming too much and your legs start to twitch and shake more violently as your climax starts to reach its peak.
“Eddie… please… please I need to cum.” You moan. Holding onto his thighs was the only thing that was keeping you somewhat grounded.
“Mmmm I don’t think you’re desperate enough yet sweetheart. Just a little bit longer princess.” Your wetness had made his fingers slick and it easier to glide over your throbbing clit.
Moving his fingers over you in an agonizingly slow manner, before picking up the pace once again. You tremble, a moan stuck in your throat. You don’t think you can hold on anymore.
“Eddie… please PLEASE please I need to cum… Eds please!” Your entire body shakes on top of him, making his cock unbelievably hard. You feel the long, thick member throbbing against you.
“You can do it princess… just a little longer. I’ll count you down, ok? I’ll count back from 30. 30….”
As he starts to count back, your mind has to only focus on the numbers. Every few seconds he’d say another number, clearly wanting to torment you. By the time he gets to 10, you’re panting and moaning, crying out in frustration, nails gripping into his jeans.
“5….”
“4…”
“3…” He starts to count even slower now. You can hear his devilish smile in his voice.
“Eds… please… PLEASE…”
“Shhh… 2…”
“EDDIE!” You scream out.
“1…”
A massive tidal wave of an orgasm washes over you, making you leak onto the bed. The relief brings tears to your eyes as you cum hard than you thought was possible for a person to cum. Your dripping hole clenching around nothing almost made you want to cry.
Eddie slows down his rubbing, placing hot kisses on the hollow spot below your ear. He sits up a little, letting go of your nipple, placing his hand back down on your thigh. He grips it roughly, pulling you open more.
Suddenly, you feel two nimble fingers enter your empty, dripping cunt. You yelp out loudly, as the sensation is overwhelming.
“Eds! Wh- Baby… Wha-” Choked pants get caught in your throat as you finally feel his fingers plug up the emptiness between your legs.
“Shhh I just wanna see something sweetheart. I wanna keep making you feel so good… so fucking good.” He gently turns your head back to the front, pushing you up a little bit. “I want you to watch.”
He licks and bites at your neck, leaving pretty lavender marks along your delicate skin. He starts to firmly finger your pussy, adding just a little bit with every thrust, until his fingers where deep inside you, hitting your g-spot. This new position had his arms pushing your tits together, making them shake with every movement.
You turn your face towards his, eyes pleading. “Eddie… its too much!”
He sharply stops. “Do you want me to stop sweetheart? I can if you want me to…” The second his fingers start to slide out of your pussy, you whimper and start to plead for them to go back in. “See, this is how I know you’re my good girl…”
He pushes his fingers back into you deeply, making your back arch. His hand is gripping you harder now, leaving bright red marks on your inner thigh. Sloppy sounds from your wet pussy start to get louder as he fingers you deeper and faster.
You groan loudly, lets starting to twitch again. He always knew how to make you cum fast from his fingers, but in this position, it made his fingers feel inches longer. He gently spreads them inside of you, causing you to moan loudly.
“Fuck princess, you look so pretty with my fingers inside of you…” His lips leave your neck for just a moment to watch as well. His digits glistening in the soft light of bedside lamp, his cock throbbing uncontrollably in his pants.
Your pussy starts to clamp down on your lover’s fingers, your lips bright red from your teeth biting them, trying hard not to move too much. You roll your eyes back as another wave starts to roll over your body.
“Eddie, I’m gonna…” You screech as you cum hard around his fingers. Pussy dripping over his hand. You never realized your pussy could ever get so wet.
But he doesn’t stop. He keeps up his steady pace. Wet, messy sounds leave your cunt, while Eddie starts to softly hump your back.
“That’s it sweetheart… just one more… I know you can do it. Fuck… You’re being so… good for me princess.” He groans loudly as he bucks into you a little harder.
Tipping his fingers up slightly, now focusing on your g-spot, which makes you leak even more. Your tits are bouncing wildly now, and the cold air keeping your nipples hard.
Eddie kisses your temple softly, giving you soft praises in your ear. “Keep watching love… I want you to see what I’m doing to you.” You lock your eyes on his fingers pumping in and out of your pink pussy. The wave gets closer and closer.
“You don’t need to ask or tell me when you’re gonna cum this time babygirl. Just lean into it… let it happen… let me take care of you.” He grunts, moving his fingers harder in and out of you.
He starts to hook his fingers up into your g-spot, and relentlessly presses on it, coaxing your body into another orgasm. His eyes are wide, transfixed on your body. The body that was melting into his with ever second that passed. The sensation overpowers you, your eyes glazing over with tears of pleasure.
“I know sweetheart, I know… I got you… I got you.” He mutters deeply into your ear.
Then, without warning, your climax hits you like a mack truck. Screaming, you gush over his fingers, squirting all over the bed.
“THAT’S IT PRINCESS! SUCH A GOOD GIRL!” He roughly kisses your cheek and rubs your clit with 3 of his fingers back and forth, making you spray harder. He pounds his fingers back inside of you, making you squirt again. Your body arches and writhes on top of him. You’re unable to stop your body from moving, even if you wanted to.
The deep satisfaction makes you lose your sense of self, only focusing on pleasure, lost in the sound of your own panting. For a brief moment, you hear in the distance Eddie praising you.
“Such a good girl.. you did so well for me…” Eddie slows his fingers to a halt, gradually sliding out of you. He pulls you into his lap, cradling you gently, peppering your face with kisses.
You tremble against him, trying to catch your breath, nuzzling your face into his neck, laying on gentle easy kisses.
Eddie gingerly runs his fingers through your hair, getting it out of your face. Your eyes flutter open, feeling fluffy and treasured. You give him a small smile. His thumb rubs along your bottom lip, tugging at the corner of your mouth before kissing you deeply.
“There she is… You ok sweetheart?” He asks you so carefully, as if you were a piece of China he didn’t want to break.
You breathe in softly before nodding. “I’m ok Eds… I’m more than ok…” You smirk a little, blushing totally blissed out. “I-I didn’t know I could do that.” Looking over at the mess you left on the bed.
“Mmm I did. It was just a matter of time…” He whispers the pad of his thumb lightly touching your clit. It makes you jump, but then you lean into it a bit more. “But I’m serious. Are you alright? I didn’t push you too far?”
“Eds, no. It was amazing baby.” You put your hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. As you break away, a though crosses your mind.
“What about you Eddie… Do you want me to…?” You wiggle your butt a little on his jeans, realizing there’s a wet spot. “Oh! Fuck, sorry. Did I do…”
You look at Eddie as the words start to leave your mouth, and he blushes a deep red. He looks down at you, smiling sheepishly.
“Ah yeah… No sweetheart that’s-ahem-that’s not from you.” He scratches the back of his head boyishly. You giggle at his admission.
“Baby! You got that worked up?”
“Well duh… I mean look at you!” He laughs loudly, kissing in between your tits. You let out a loud laugh as his hair tickles your neck. He leaves a trail of spit as he takes your right nipple in his mouth, giving it a soft suck before popping it back out.  He leans back, drinking all of you in.
“You know… since we’re both a bit of a mess now… how about we get in the shower, I’ll get you all cleaned up and then we can come back here… and make more of a mess.”
You bite your bottom lip again, smiling at him.
“Last one there’s a rotten egg!” You yell hoping off of him, making a mad dash for the bathroom. Eddie groans, chuckling to himself at the sight and darts after you.
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moonpool-system · 3 months
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Plurality in Slay the Princess: Part 1
[pt: Plurality in Slay the Princess: Part 1]
Imagine you're standing facing the unknown, and then a little internal voice begins narrating everything you see.
[The Narrator] "You're on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path, is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin, is a princess. You're here to slay her; if you don't, it will be the end of the world."
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He seems pretty biased.
One of the best indie games to come out in 2023 was Slay the Princess, an indie horror/romance visual novel featuring your player character and the being he's meant to slay, known simply as The Princess. However, you're not alone, in more ways than one- both your player character and the Princess display clear aspects of plurality - aka, multiple identities residing within/utilizing a singular physical body. This can take many forms in real life, from disordered to non-disordered variants, and a good few of them are prominently recognized in this visceral narrative experience.
After the read-more will be some spoilers from the various choices you can make throughout the early game- so while this is part 1, there will be no endgame spoilers yet! It'll start off with Chapter 1 and go deeper from there. If you're intending on playing the game, we HIGHLY recommend you play only after reading Chapter 1 information, or only after this part 1 at most! It's best experienced blind as possible, and trigger warnings are present upon opening the game. This analysis took a while to write, so please consider reblogging if you enjoy!
...
Right from the beginning, the plural undertones of the story are clearly apparent. Once the Narrator stops speaking, you as the one controlling the body are able to communicate by asking various questions directly to the Narrator to press upon, enthuse over, or counter his point. The Narrator is speaking to you mentally, but is not you.
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If you continue on the path to the cabin, you're presented with someone else speaking to you internally, titled as "The Voice of the Hero". The Narrator quickly responds with "Ignore him. He doesn't know what he's talking about." This situation tells us a lot of interesting things! First off, the Hero defers to the pronoun "we" - as he's clearly responding to the Narrator's direction, the other individual in this situation must be the controller of the body. The Narrator reinforces this concept by talking directly to you, telling you to ignore the Hero. So right off the bat, there are three people in this body- the Host, whom is being controlled by the player, the Narrator, and the Voice of the Hero. They stay with you throughout (most of) the entire game, so even without much happening, the main character is very blatantly plural. The only thing we can tell about them so far is that they're a polyconscious system, wherein each member displays their own individual consciousnesses rather than sharing one, and can all perceive the world using separate streams of thought.
Let's say you head to the cabin, speak to the Princess, and don't even bother taking the pristine blade meant to slay her, as you're intent on saving her. You speak to her with options using "quotation marks" to indicate vocal speech rather than how you've been thinking to the other members of your system, and you free her from her bindings. Just as you're walking up the stairs, the Narrator decides to try and impose his decision instead, and save the world by using the arm of the body to raise the blade to her. Being in control of the body as a plural/system is called fronting, and oftentimes in intense circumstances, one member can "take" the front from another. This is what we see in the desperate Narrator, and the fact that the Hero expresses his frustration at the Narrator's actions at the same time indicates once again that the members of this system are polyconscious.
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You resist the Narrator and warn the Princess, and she also notices and addresses the sudden shift in motivation. She then takes the blade, and uses it haplessly against you in self defense. Such is this end of Chapter 1; everything goes dark, and you die.
!!! CHAPTER 2+ SPOILERS BEGIN HERE !!!
[pt: !!! Chapter 2+ spoilers begin here !!!]
Chapter 2 is titled "The Damsel". When everything loads, you're back where you were before- the Narrator doesn't seem to remember you or what happened, but you and the Hero clearly do.
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Not only that, but another character has joined the mix since your supposed death- The Voice of the Smitten loudly proclaims his love for the Princess and hatred for the Narrator. Plus, he says something unique- he mentioned "the four of us" foiling the Narrator's "assassination attempts". This four includes the Princess, the Smitten, the Hero, and the Host/player, establishing how everyone here perceives the others as separate entities. Plus, now that naming consistency with the others established, the Narrator, not labeled as a "voice", starts to stand out as something... Different, from the rest of you all.
But it's not just you that's changed; everything within the cabin looks different, and it's not only that.
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The Princess has metamorphosized; the Damsel wears a new dress and crown, has a much more gentle and delicate disposition, and her voice sounds significantly higher pitched and kinder. Not only that, but her bone structure is physically thinner, as is addressed later in the route. She has inarguably become different in not only personality but appearance too. Additionally, while she recognizes you and your earlier confrontation, she uses the pronoun "I" to refer to both herself as the Damsel and herself as the Princess before. This is indicative of monoconscious systems, where members share an individual consciousness/train of thought and switching involves the feeling of one member "becoming" another in a smooth transition, and median systems, where members often feel like facets of an overarching identity rather than completely separate entities. We see more evidence to medianhood after the two of you escape, and the Damsel seems to be taken away by... Something. You find yourself presented with the Entity holding her gingerly.
"Something finds me in the Long Quiet and brings me the gift of a fragile vessel."
She cradles her and describes the vessels as "nerves and fibers to feel the worlds beyond. Perspectives to make my own", and the Damsel as "soft and delicate. You molded her to love you, and she'll make for a gentle heart." She words it as if they are the same, and yet different at the same time. You ask if she is the Princess, and she says this;
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upon pressuring, she states that you're speaking in circles. "Does it matter where one thing begins and another ends?" This once again supports the fluid concept of median plurality. She is different, and yet she is the same. It's hard to tell the lines between one and the other, even though they both still distinctly exist. She asks you to "bring [her] more perspectives so [she] may be whole", wishing for the facets of herself to be returned to her via completing different routes of the game. Interestingly enough, it seems the Entity displays polyconsciousness during these segments, unlike the in-loop Princesses. In another route she mentions the Princess having a will pushing against her own, and at the end of your conversation she mentions one last thing;
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You're flung back to the beginning, with only the Hero and the Narrator at your side, and not a single memory ingame of what happened. You can't re-access old routes, so you have to choose to do something different the next time, to bring different parts of herself home to her.
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There are many different routes you can end up on, and the Princess will change in many different ways depending on your decisions. Let's go over some interesting notes on how the two's plurality presents over the course of the time loops.
- The Princess seems to be completely monoconscious when within the loops, sometimes acknowledging herself as different but never referring to her other facets as a separate perspective ("I/me", never "she" like the Entity refers to her vessels.) This rule is only broken by the Stranger route whom, where due to the world literally fracturing, had multiple perspectives shoved into a single one, and she refers to herselves as "we".
- The origin of new facets of the Princess seems to correlate directly with the reset of the world they're in, and we never see her looping forms change otherwise, meaning we can likely assume this to be their origin. While time loops aren't recorded to have happened in this universe, we can safely attribute some sort of metagenic origin to the Princess's median facets. The only other time we see her "change" other than after a reset is her disposition & voice upon the first time meeting her, depending on whether or not we take the pristine blade. This displays that the player character's actions directly affect the Princess's facets as well, however delving into that would get into endgame spoilers, so it'll be touched on in part 2.
- Due to the lack of evident amnesia, distress, or disorder expressed to be caused by her plurality (aside from the Stranger) it's safe to assume the Princess falls under the category of systems/plurals without a dissociative disorder such as DID, P-DID, OSDD1, and UDD.
- On the flipside, the Player's system shows quite a lot of distress and disorder, from the Broken and the Smitten attempting to kill the body to the Cold eager to harm it, as well as many different system members with specific jobs meant to help counteract or ease the negative circumstances of the previous loop. Additionally, during the Moment of Clarity chapter, the Host explicitly experiences amnesia of traumatic memories the other members remember everyone experiencing, displaying dissociative amnesia. It's likely this system falls under the category of plurals with a dissociative disorder such as DID, P-DID, OSDD1, and UDD.
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- Many speculate the members of the Player character's system to be your past lives or iterations of you after your death, since for the most part, a new one appears every time the body dies. This would be known as a fenigenic/phoenigenic origin. However, there are a couple instances where this theory falls apart- for example, in the No Way Out route, the Player, Hero, Narrator, and Cheated are joined by both the Voice of the Contrarian and the Voice of the Broken at the same time; right after, the Hero states that this is your third time, meaning if the past life theory is true, there should be only two new members, not three. (The line between alive and dead gets fuzzy later in the route, but this one is cut and dry.) Instead, I propose the Player's system to be an adaptive system, ending up with new members whenever they must adapt their mindset drastically to the situation. The new members often tend to be a reflection of the body's actions during the last loop, which supports this concept as well.
- Routes such as No Way Out and The Adversary complicate these assessments. In No Way Out, every time you die you try something different, which results in a new system member every time. In The Adversary, you fight over and over again with the same determination, and The Stubborn remains as the only new member from the beginning the entire time. However, in both of these routes, the Princess stops changing form at all. Evidence once again shows itself that the Player Character's perception not only affects what the Princess will be, but what the results of his own changes will be as well.
- Another differentiation between you, the "voices", and the Narrator, aside from his lack of memory between loops and insistence that he's not the same person as other versions of him, is how they both treat and experience the Mirror. The Narrator is notably distinct in that he cannot see it during regular gameplay, and that once the world is replaced with it at the end of a route, he's no longer existent to perceive it. The ones labeled "voices" are able to see it and fear it instinctively- while they're different from the Narrator, even they disappear when you look in the mirror and speak to the Entity. Hypothetically, this could mean that you are to the Voices' perspectives as the Entity is to the Princess's. The Entity mentions that nothing but you and her come to the space where you speak.
- Upon meeting the Entity after the third time you bring her a vessel, she greets you with this line; "I am a growing chorus of contradiction. A mass of tides ebbing and flowing all at once in more directions than my attention can bear to hold. To look at any one is to shift them all into something new, and to look away is to reshape them yet again. All of me is changing, and yet the rest is still the same." This is an interesting perspective into her relationship with the vessels and how her overarching identity is affected by her medianhood.
- A case that deserves special mentioning is the route of the Spectre, after killing the Princess without hesitation in chapter 1 and then proceeding to kill yourself after. In Chapter 2, you're then presented with the option to let the Spectre possess you temporarily, giving her not only access to your body, but to your mind. For a brief while, she can hear and interact with all the others currently present with you- at the time, the Narrator, the Voice of the Hero, and the Voice of the Cold. Once she's within you, the Narrator can't even get out a full sentence before she comments, "So this is what it's like to be you, huh? Disembodied voice narrating your every move?" She addresses the Voices differently than the Narrator; "All these shards of broken glass on the floor... Are they also supposed to be you?" The Hero takes initial offense at this, saying that "I'm me, is what I am." The conversation continues to the Hero questioning the Narrator's existence, to which he responds, "You don't need to know what I am. You just need to know that I'm different than you. More important."
To this, the Princess answers, "So you're the one that pulled the strings and made me dead. I can tell you don't belong here. You're barely even there. Like the shape of something left behind. You're more of a... Memory, than a person." And then, "You're kind of like me, actually." What does she mean by that? Is he like a ghost? Something else? It'll be addressed in part 2, but clearly he's different from the rest.
- One of the most affirming dialogue options you can have with the Entity is after the fourth time you bring a Vessel to her, where you both speak about how your systems operate. You can ask her, "When you send me back, I'm not alone. There are voices that speak to me. Some of them are me, but one of them is something else. I call him The Narrator, and he wants me to kill you. Do you have a Narrator? Have the Vessels had one?" This is yet another hint that the Narrator is fundamentally different than the rest of the Player's system, making it clear that together they make up a mixed origin system. In response to your question, the Entity responds with this:
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From this we get a few things. For one, the Princesses are referred to in the plural sense ("their minds"), enforcing the separation between them. However, she goes on to describe them existing and constantly metamorphosising into something new, basically confirming the concept of monoconsciousness within the Princesses themselves.
....
From all this, we've drawn a lot of conclusions about the plurality of the Player character and the Princess/Entity from Slay the Princess! Such depth of plural experiences is extremely rare in any media, and this one exemplifies it very well, balancing both personhood and parts-based conceptualizations in its depiction. In part 2 we'll go over how the endgame and its philosophy applies to these concepts, as well as the revelations about the characters involved. It's wonderful to have such vibrant and unique plural representation in a video game; thank you for reading this disambiguation!
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ohkkotsuu · 9 months
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𝐈𝐁𝐓 — 𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐅 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆! choso kamo.
ৎ୭ PAIRING: choso kamo x gender neutral reader (they/them pronouns used, unspecified anatomy)
ৎ୭ ABOUT: your boyfriend never experienced many things from the normal human world, as a half-curse. he's fully convinced that he needs to be a better boyfriend. so, he'll do his best to be the best for you. he sets some rules to be a boyfriend, a good one.
ৎ୭ CW/TW: SFW. choso is just so sweet i wanna bite him, overprotective behavior (a bit), choso is a simp and he wants to marry you, this is really just him being head over heels for you, choso calls you some petnames, itadori and nobara are mentioned (not as a couple)! fluff. straight up fluff. i just wrote a lot of him being silly about you lololol maybe this will become a series?? with other characters maybe. also, please, if you enjoy it, tell me about it! i would love to interact more with reblogs and comments from you all.
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CHOSO never knew what to expect from the future, always being surprised by the violent turns in his life. lose two of his brothers, find a new brother — and certainly, he hadn't expected to have his heart so deeply won by you. nor win yours back. a sweetness of fate after so much sourness, which he hoped to make it last.
so choso became your partner (apparently, a modern term is boyfriend, so that works too). however, he has no idea how to be a good boyfriend. that makes choso resort to the best wingman he knows, an expert in people and relationships — his brother, yuuji itadori.
and it's from there that choso actively engages in what yuuji called “intensive boyfriend training”.
said training consists in watching hours of romantic movies, flipping through cliché books with good male leads, even retorting to reading shojo manga to know how to act romantic. yuuji even enlisted the help of a friend, nobara, so they only have quality content for training. no toxic male leads, no weird unconsensual stuff. only the best examples so he could become the best boyfriend. choso wants to know everything about how a guy should act to be a good boyfriend. after all, you're his world, and you deserve the best and the best only.
curses acquire information from the brain of the vessel they inhabit, but choso himself has no relationship experience. Centuries of his life were focused solely on protecting his siblings, and that is still one of his priorities — but, another priority is also you. he sets down some personal rules to himself, just so he can guide his heart through this whole “being a good boyfriend” thing.
his number one rule is never lie to you. never. doesn't matter the circumstances, choso will absolutely always be truthful and honest with you. relationships are based on trust, love and sharing. you are the person who showed him that there are ways to love someone beyond platonic — and, in return, you'll have his heart and he'll have yours. you are a partner for life in his eyes, and he would trust you with everything.
he's always truthful about things: where he's been, who he's been with, how he's feeling, he doesn't hide anything. choso even overshares every now and then. in his eyes, there is not even a single reason to lie to you. originally, he hesitated at the question of “how are you?” if he wasn't doing alright. choso wanted to be your white knight, the one who could protect you and his brothers without having to be weak. he slowly opened up as he realized it wasn't wrong to be weak. another valuable lesson you taught him.
if he is not feeling well, he will be sincere and say that he is not feeling well. choso will usually asks for what he wants — hold your hand, cuddle, kisses, anything really. he is also very honest when you ask for outfit opinions, for example — he admires how different colors suit you, how different types of fabrics of many different looks adorn your body. you usually need to call him more than once.
“choso.”
“hm? yes, baby?”
his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile. “you're staring. did you like this one?”
unfortunately, his opinion for visuals isn't exactly helpful, per say. he thinks everything look pretty in you, and he'll be very straightforward about it, because it's never about the attires you wear for him, no — you are insanely perfect. you're what makes this clothes pretty, not the opposite. you are what makes his world more worth living.
“I love everything you wear. you look amazing in everything.” the corners of his mouth lift up a bit as he give you the usual lovey-dovey stare.
you giggle a bit, unable to stop yourself from thinking that he's just so cute, staring at you like that. as if you were the moon and the stars. or even more than that.
“thanks, choso, but we've been here for half an hour. I need help to pick an outfit.”
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the second rule he sets for himself is to protect you and care for you. he's absolutely never taking you anywhere risky. he'll do anything to be sure you're safe — anything he can. choso is always off guard for you, you make him feel safer than ever. but he's not relaxing about other things.
he would never forgive himself if you were hurt because he's too relaxed. he doesn't always have to be perfect, he knows, but he will still give every last drop of his own blood for your safety and your smile.
he's always keeping an eye out for suspicious people or cursed energy. if any signs of danger appear, he is ready to catch you on his arms, bridal style, and just run away to get you somewhere safe — which has already created some situations that are as embarrassing as they are amusing. another option is him entering on this intimidating mode, if not the immediate fight response.
he also doesn't like curses, even weak ones, around you. he acquired the habit of killing them immediately, being careful not to splash the purple blood of the spirits on you. he also carries around a tissue, either to wipe his face if a drop or two has spilled or to wipe his hand — he would never hold your hand while his is dirty like that. this is his version of “boyfriend who kills bugs for you” (to be fair, he would kill bugs too, if they're bothering you). choso was surprised when he learned that this is something boyfriends do for their partners, watching it on a romance series where a guy kills a bug when his love interest was too scared to do the same.
he's protective, but he's trying to be careful not to scare you or be creepy. he pulls you by your waist, always so gentle, staring daggers at a guy at the mall, scaring him away.
“choso.” he turns his head to you, and his eyes soften immediately. “what are you doing?”
“that man was staring at you.” he says, a bit grumpy. you only giggle and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek — something that makes his face pink and a soft smile creeps it's way into his expression.
“thank you. but you didn't had to scare him, I know that guy. he's an acquaintance of mine.”
“oh. should I get rid of him?” he asks.
“choso, no, that's not what I meant—”
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the third rule is something he made up seeing romantic movies: be a gentleman. he was doing that already, by taking care of you, showing his love, but according to yuuji and nobara, people love when their boyfriend is kind and does stuff for them. which made choso really confused.
“people get..impressed, when their loved ones show affection and minimum care or respect?” he can't really understand it, but if it's what will make him a better boyfriend, he'll become the most cliche of a gentleman.
(he's totally unaware that he is one already, and that no one was expecting him to do more).
so he looks for all kinds of opportunities to do something for you. place your orders in stores if you are too shy to do so, carry your shopping bags for you, put his coat over your shoulders when it's cold.
the “problem” is that it becomes something on a medium-large scale. you don't carry anything around choso, he carries everything for you. even small bags. the only thing with you should be a purse or backpack (if you wear any of those), and even with that he offers to carry it for you.
then there comes a day when you two are walking and choso stops. before you can ask him what's wrong, he picks you up on his arms. you cling to his shoulders with a surprised yelp. one of his arms is under your legs and the other supporting your back like a groom carrying his bride — as he hopes that one day, he will be that to you. and much more.
he just carries you for a few moments more without even complaining. he never complains. he loves carrying you, doing things for you, and you weight nothing to him.
“choso, what are you doing? what was that for?” he looks down at you.
“there was a mud puddle in the way, dear. if you crossed it, you would get your shoes dirty.” he explains nonchalantly, with you still on his arms. he seems ready to put you down, if you ask for it.
you both know he would have you bridal-style on his arms for a whole day if you let him.
hearing your giggle makes his heart flutter. although, one of his eyebrows raise softly.
“choso, we could have just skirted around the puddle.”
“oh.” he hadn't thought of that.
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the fourth and final rule is never forget. he should never forget anything about you or involving you. dating anniversary, your birthday, this man has it engraved on his memory. he understands that these are special days not only for human customs, but for him personally — after all, your dating anniversary is a celebration of one of the happiest days of his life. the day you and him became a couple.
he certainly thinks that day would only be surpassed by your future wedding anniversary. but these things can wait. the wedding can wait. he's happy just by being with you.
it memorizes all your preferences, from the simplest to the most complicated. he knows what kind of movies you like, which series you hate, which food you prefer for every situation. he has your favorite brands decorated so he can get those for you. choso memorized all your orders in coffee shops or diners so he can order for you, too. it also learns if you have allergies.
sometimes he can't really believe that humans have such organisms. resist some diseases, but if you eat a tomato being allergic, something like this kill a human? impressive.
if you are in a situation where another person is hanging out with you and they ask for something “wrong”, choso will politely correct them.
“no, actually, they're allergic to those.”
“my partner asked for this, actually.”
people may think he's being arrogant, by correcting everyone about what you want — but what surprises everyone, even you, is that he always get it right. he knows your gift preference: what items you like the most, or, if you like it, handmade gifts. he learns how to do those for you.
with a lot of help from the internet, yuuji and some moral support from nobara, choso sucefully made you a bracelet. he hands it to you carefully, a bit scared that you won't like it. it's one of those bracelets with letters on it, it reads:
“cho loves you”. you look at him, and he seems shy. this is the first time he actually made something instead of buying something.
“ran out of letters, so there was no way to have another S and O.” his tone is a bit apologetical, and his cheeks are pink. “I made it for you.”
before he can say anything else, you pull him for a gentle, sweet kiss. even such lovely action knocks the breath out of his lungs and makes his head spin. your smile when you lean back makes choso think he's in heaven.
“thank you, choso. I loved it, I loved it so much! help me put it on?” you ask with those cute puppy dog eyes.
and of course you could put the bracelet on for yourself, you both know it. but he accepts any excuse to touch you, and you want to see him do it. while he helps you with your new jewelry, it reminds you of the day he slipped a dating ring on your finger.
“done, baby.” he says softly, eyes laying on the bracelet and moving to your hand, where a ring that matches his adorn one of your fingers. his fingertips touches it softly and he smiles, whispering: “I'll marry you someday.”
“what was that, choso?”
“nothing.” he looks away, embarrassed. but in a way, you both know it: it's a promise.
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Prompt || Y/N is someone who never swears. Never. Until Bucky is inside her, thrusting with reckless abandon, and taking great pride in the fact that he can reduce Y/N to this disheveled, lustful state, unable to say anything but his name and swearing from how good it is. — Requested by @harrysthiccthighss
Pairing || TFATWS!Bucky x Female!Reader
Word Count || Less than 600
Contents & Warnings || Smut — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, explicit content/language, pet names (doll, baby), unprotected and rough sex, praise kink, creampie, mention of bodily fluids.
Random prompt event || Masterlist
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You are someone that almost never swears.
It’s just not something you were accustomed to and something that never manifested itself in your day-to-day vocabulary when you grew up, even though you heard it everywhere around you.
That, of course, doesn’t mean that you’ve never sworn before, but it was usually just during special (and primarily painful) circumstances—when you bumped any part of your body on a hard surface. Then, on rare occasions, would you curse under your breath at the stupid thing that hurt you.
But you have never found yourself swearing so much after you got together with your boyfriend, Bucky.
There was only during one particular moment(s) in your relationship where you found yourself swearing like a sailor, and that was during sex with him because, my God, no one has ever given it to you so good as he did. And he took such pride in absolutely wrecking you to the point where the only thing on your mind was his cock, and the only thing coming out of your mouth were the words fuck and Bucky.
He had you pinned down on the mattress as his hot body lay on top of yours. His hand held yours hostage above your head as his hips thrust mercilessly into your own, making his cock penetrate your tight and needy walls to perfection.
Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head as you gladly accepted each thrust. You slipped into a lustful state where the only thing on your mind was the sheer and pure pleasure he fed.
With his tip brushing deliciously against your sweet spot with every thrust, there was just a matter of seconds before he would have you screaming and crying his name, cursing for him not to stop and make you come.
“Come on, doll, let me hear you.” He grunted in your face as his forehead rested on yours.
It was right there on the tip of your tongue—the cries of pleasure he so desperately was trying to pull from you.
Right there…
right…
there…
“Fuck, Bucky!” You sobbed as he broke you. There was no holding back now. Curse word after curse word flowed out of you as your orgasm built. You were nothing but a crying needy mess now.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Don’t fucking stop, baby, please!”
“There it is. Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He smirks as he’s completed his mission successfully.
He lets go of your hands so you could cling to his body as the coil in your stomach snapped, making you come hard around him as you cursed and cried some more. Bucky grunted against your neck as he spilt his release into your warm and enticing walls.
Once you’ve both come down, Bucky kisses you with such pride and love as he moans against your lips.
“Hmm, I’m the only one to make you curse and scream like that, doll.” He growls against your skin.
“Only you. Only fucking you, Bucky.”
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belokhvostikova · 10 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | Tuesday was the development between you and Eddie Munson. Wednesday, peace finally seems plausible for the two hurt kids, and understanding becomes a valued aspect.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, yelling, crying, implications to verbal abuse, self deprecating thought, mentions of anxiety, bulling, parent abandonment, domestic abuse, and childhood abuse and neglect.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | I've gone back to all my posts and tagged everyone for the tag list. Literally. If you commented, I tagged you. If you reblogged and remotely mentioned you wanted more, I tagged you. If you were not looking to be tagged, please let me know so I can remove you. Also, I sincerely apologize to anyone who I've accidently been excluding from the tag list, that was my mistake.
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 | One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐕. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐲
There was no investment in moral quandary for him. Logicality. Everything had to be logical under the guise that all faults of the world had been facilitated by the emission of emotions that tainted the globe. 
Feelings were wrong. Sentiment was wrong. Empathy was wrong.
He believed it was such vulnerability that led to the downfall of his life- not that he’d ever verbally admit his life had crumbled right in front of him, but a pit within the deepest tunnel of his consciousness recognized it. Drilled it. Cemented it. He had chosen to blame the emotions of amenability for the reason why his wife came home at four in the morning with the familiar scent of the neighbor’s cologne. From there, he knew to get rid of it. Emotions. So when you sobbed, asking why mommy hadn’t been home for a couple of days, he said it was not worth crying over. When you had to stand in court upon a scary looking man in a robe and hear mommy agree to only seeing you every other weekend, he said to not worry and suck it up. And when mommy stopped picking up calls and seemingly “forgot” it was her day to see you, he said to get over it. But maybe it wasn’t too bad, right? He always said to be grateful that, at least, he stuck around. At the minimum, he always provided good take-out often, though you were quick to realize it was because he had no desire to cook for you. But, hey, he had always let you watch TV during dinner. Granted, it was because he never sat with you, and chose the comfort of the living room couch, where you could always see the history channel playing from the archway of the dining room where you sat lonely. It was then, you got a deep understanding of the Civil War. And at least his stoicism permitted a great hatred for the presuppositionalism that had infiltrated Hawkins, Indiana. That was good, right? Though, you were never one to define metaethics through divine revelation, so it kinda didn’t matter. But it could be worse. He always said he could be worse. That his choice to deprive you from any physical harm was somehow enough to garner him some merit as a parent. 
And maybe that was one of the underlying reasons as to why Eddie Munson scared you so much. He was like your father. And your father scared you. 
-
Mid week. The morning of spring Wednesday had been a groggily dawn of humidity and fog. Though no weather circumstance could derail the perfected routine of your father’s morning. Wake up, shower, brush teeth, make coffee. Black, no sugar. The bitterer, the better. Because that was by true definition strong. 
It was like clockwork. Every morning. Because routine leads to success, he's ingrained. It was the only reason why every summer break since you were a child he had you waking up before sunrise with intentions of appearing downstairs for two hours of study time with a tutor he spent hours meticulously searching for that fit his standards. One with saggy cheeks, thin eyebrows, a thick accent, and a bad habit of reprimanding you with a smack of a ruler whenever you humanly made a mistake. The worst thing that could happen in his eyes was watching his daughter slack because of relaxation over summer. Especially after he programmed you into perfection. 
But the unthinkable had occurred, and his routine was interrupted. 
Between 6:30 a.m and 6:45 a.m, your father was set—like everyday—to retrieve the morning paper, sit down, set the timer, and complete the crossword puzzle. Ten minutes. Nothing more. 
But by 6:33 a.m, Eddie Munson was nearly murdered by your father. 
Oh, his girl. Of course, there was his sweetheart, Eddie was damn near devoted to that warlock, but then there was his girl. Definitely not the everloving relationship he had with his sweetheart, I mean, he touched her, and the harmonious sounds from her strings could elevate the pain of his mind, but there was still no doubt that a sentimental part of his heart was dedicated to his girl. Rusted and cranking, the old van had been gifted to the young man after countless hours committed to Harry’s Auto Shop over the summer. And though her imperfections nearly had him pulling the roots of his hair out of his head weekly, she still managed to get him from point A to point B—not to mention, she looked totally sick and provided the best comfort place to spark up a joint or spend time with a pretty boy or girl whenever the opportunity came (it never did).
But besides that, the moral of the story is his van, his girl, was deeply cared for. 
Except for the occasions of last night. 
Because right now, your father was wrinkling the informative pages of the daily news with a tight grip of pure seethe, because some dirty, gross van had parked over the curb of his property and ruined the pristine, clean-cut, green lawn with muddy tire tracks.
-
You had heard it all.
The blaring alarm at 5:45 a.m, the running shower from your father’s bathroom, and the heavy steps of his feet descend into the kitchen.
Exhaustion couldn’t fathom the ache of your body, as the fluffy duvet beneath you held no substance to the stiffening floor underneath. Not to mention, the heavy sorrow of the events that had only occurred a couple hours prior were relying heavy in your mind, prompting the loss of true sleep, made only worse when Eddie’s drunken snores were echoing as a constant reminder that he was right there. 
Eddie Munson was in your bed- Eddie Munson was in your bed!
The ever so slight glimmer of the awakening sun was bleeding upon his sleeping figure, almost dead with no movement. He hadn’t shifted an arm or a leg, mouth still agape from his roaring slumber with a puddle of drool staining your satin pillow. You’d timidly approached the edge of your bed, knees scraping along the rough floor to reach his peaceful face. The disheveled bangs of his forehead had crumpled against themselves, shielding him from the oozing light through your window. 
This was the calmest Eddie Munson had been in weeks.
No lumps in the mattress, an actual comforter, the pungent stank of his cigarettes now replaced with the captivating vanilla scent of your perfume, which eased him into a comfortable sleep and an all too real dream where you were in his arms. It felt scaringly natural. 
There was a part of you that didn’t want to wake him. Whether it was because you could take an hour studying his pretty face, which led you to wondering how anyone could even fathom being so nasty to something so beautiful, or whether it was because that childhood anger and nestling vexation against a world that hated him was still deeply residing within Eddie, and you could easily fall victim to such hatred. It happened before, it could happen again. 
You rested your head against your bed, a slight alleviation to the malaise of the floor, and let his warm breathing fan across your face. The tips of your fingers benevolently stroked the unruly strands of his bangs away, to reveal the fluttering eyes of his face. You wondered what he could be dreaming of. 
You.
You were all he could think of. Awake and asleep.
“Eddie.” You softly whispered. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best choice given his hangover coma, but Eddie needed gentleness. ���Hey, wake up.” You shook his shoulder. A pained groan prolonged far longer than you expected, as his face scrunched in a wince of a pounding headache. “Are you okay?”
That was too real for any dream. Eddie’s dry eyes snapped at the sound of your saccharine voice, suddenly realizing the devastating events that occurred last night. “Sh-shit!” He attempted to sit up, but your hand held his arm back.
“Shh, it’s okay.” You cooed, as he peered around frantically confused. He cracked his neck with a sharp turn, and his big eyes landed on you; once again, comforting him, as though he hadn’t put you through hell in the mere days he’s communicated with you.
His head fervently began shaking, as if to reject all that he’d done, as if everything he ever did you to was just a nightmare of his own fears, that he didn’t do what he did. But he did. And his eyes started welling up. “I-I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He choked. “For everything, I didn’t- I’m so fucking sorry-”
“Shh, Eddie-”
“I don’t want to scare you, and I’m s-sorry for doing it in the first place, I’m so so fucking so-”
“Eddie, just lay down, it’s okay.” You attempted to ease into him, as you lowered him down, his begrudgement leaving him hesitating until his back was flat against your bed. 
Once relaxed, it seemed his body and mind gave up on the restraints of his emotions, and his stream of tears came pouring with all dejection and regret of how everything had played out between you two. Eddie Munson hated himself. Hated who he was. Someone set up for the failures of life, he rejected anything that could steer him from a path of love and acceptance. And he hated that. He hated the life he had. At any given opportunity to go back in time, he would scream at his father, hit his father, just get him and his mother away from his father so that he could just grow up to be a normal person. A normal person, who could process their emotions and not deduce themselves into a nihilistic asshole. A normal person, who wouldn’t degrade the only person who’s held him without hurting him. A normal person, who would love you and cherish you as you deserved. Yet Eddie Munson hated his life and hated any momentous occasion that could possibly diminish the pain of life… like you. Because good things don’t happen to Eddie Munson, and you held so much power to hurt him.
Seeing his palms stab into his eyes, you gently held his trembling wrist to relieve him from the pain he believed he deserved. “Come on, Eddie, please stop.” You softly spoke trying to ease his hands away from his face. “Everything is okay, I promise.” 
“N-no, it’s not!”
“Shh!” You rushed out. “My dad’s awake downstairs.” You whispered.
“S-sorry.” He spoke so meekly, as his hands cleaned the staggering wetness of his eyes and cheeks. 
The atmosphere between you both fell stagnantly silent, as he tried to control his breathing through the tiny sniffles of his nose. He felt you staring, eyes boring into the side of his head, as he peered up at the dark ceiling. He couldn’t stand to look at you right now. He had just drunkenly sobbed and was now blubbering like a child, because of all the bullshit he just put you through. He was a-fucking-shamed. Ashamed of all he’s done. Ashamed of who he was. And you were seeing the worst of it. 
“Eddie.” He closed his eyes and shook his head no. “Please.”
He slowly turned his head and met your tired yet so fucking beautiful face. God, he could stare at you forever. How could he do this to you? Put you through off of that, just because he was scared. He fucking hated himself, and you could so clearly see the despise against himself in his saddened eyes. I’m sorry I am the way that I am, I’m sorry you have to put up with me, I’m sorry I’m here ruining your life. He didn’t have to say it, it was engraved on his face.
His heart almost lunged out of his chest when you crept closer, noses nearly touching, as your eyes engulfed him with a meaningful stare. “I’m really glad you came.”
“What?” You truly couldn’t have been, but your head nodded with the soothing confirmation he needed. 
“Yeah, I am.” You whispered. 
“You shouldn’t be.” He whispered. “What I did was awful.”
“I know.” You sighed. “I know, and please don’t ever do that again. But I’m still glad you came. Glad that we talked. Glad that I got to understand.”
“I wish I told you sooner… and better.” He pinched his eyes closed at the haunting memory. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you, I’m so fucking sorry I did.”
“I know you are.” There was no “it’s fine” or forgiveness to offer, because he truly did cross a line that terrified you. But you could accept his understanding of the wrongdoing he did. Because acknowledgement was a valuable step in moving forward. 
“I just- Y/N, I just really want to be with you.” There it was. He was putting himself out there once and for all, risking it, because you deserved to know. The torment of his emotional unavailability was ending, because he was ready to face the adversity of his trauma to make you happy. But that was exactly the issue. You could see he was ready to do it for you. Not himself. And whatever was brewing between you and Eddie Munson would not magically dissolve the underlying issue within both of you under the guise that you both got together and skipped away into the sunset happily ever after. Reality was a harsh slap in the face, and you knew he’d hate it, but it was what was needed. 
“I just want you to be okay, Eddie.” You confided with a heavy bite of your lip. “I… want to be okay, Eddie.”
His eyes were glossing with threatening tears again. He knew what was coming. “You don’t wanna be with me.” He murmured. It was no question, but a simple truth he had to face. 
“No.” You spoke with deep conviction. “I don’t want to be with the person you are right now. I can’t be. Not now. It wouldn’t be right, and I just want us to be okay.” You brushed his bangs away. His lips began trembling, but he accepted your boundaries with a vehement nod to his head to let you know he understood. “Eddie,” you punctuated so it became cemented, “I don’t want you to do this again-”
“I won’t, I swear, I won’t drink-”
“No, Eddie… I don’t want you coming here. To my house. To see me.” You sighed, as his eyes desperately scanned your face for the off chance you’d say you were kidding and you wanted him over all the time. But your words continued. 
“I’m really fucking sorr-”
“I know you are, Eddie. I know.” A heavy breath from your chest escaped. “But I need time, and it may not seem like it now, but you need time, too. So I don’t want you calling. I don’t want you asking anyone where I am or how to talk to me. Not Chrissy, not anyone. Promise me.”
He agreed.
But Eddie Munson would break this promise. Not for some drunken, overbearing, emotional reason, though. But for good reason. All because your bedroom door slammed open.
Synchronized through driven fear, yours and Eddie’s head snapped at the sudden bust of your bedroom door, where your father stood effervesce with indignation of pure enragement at the sight of Eddie in your bed. 
“Get out of my house!”
“Dad, wait!”
Your words were not of care to your dad, as he shoved you onto the ground with a shriek of horror escaping your lungs, as he charged himself onto your bed. The shot of adrenaline had coursed out any inebriations from the night before, as Eddie went against the swelling pounding of his head to jump from the comfort of your sheets and tumble onto the floor.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Imprinted with the mud of his shoes, the pool of his drool, and now crumbled under the heavy weight of your father’s fall, the sanctity of your bed—the only thing that had caressed you through the hardships of your life, where you found solace in the safety of its soft cotton and silk, where your mother once cuddled you to sleep as she spoke of the future, I’m gonna lay your pretty prom dress right on the bed and watch you become so beautiful for your special night, where you cried yourself to sleep for countless night because she left you and she didn’t actually want to see you become so beautiful for your special night—had demised under the ruins of men who made you bawl your eyes out and made you feel so little about yourself. And maybe your bed being derelict was a cursory occasion to cry over, maybe it wasn’t; nonetheless, your eyes began to brim with the flooding tears of the overstimulated stress of an exhausted mind, dry eyes, and a splitting heart.
“Please stop.” Too quiet and airy for any big, angry, men to hear.
Because big, angry, men don’t care for the aching pain of the people they hurt. 
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…” Eddie stumbled onto wobbly feet, planting the palms of his hands to stand himself away from your reaching father. “M’so fuckin’ sorry!” At that point, the directions of his words were either targeted to you or your father, you couldn’t decipher, and truthfully, you didn’t care to decipher. 
Your father managed to unravel himself from the hold of your blankets, stepping off with heavy stomps to follow Eddie around your room. “You better get out of my fucking house, I’m fucking calling the cops! How dare you fucking touch my daughter?!”
“Dad, please.” Weak, broken, unheard.
“I fuckin’ didn’t!” Eddie was fortunate enough to spot his beloved jacket, snatching it from the confines of your desk chair, where he was able to roll it out as an obstruction to your father’s determined path of strangling Eddie Munson. 
Because in the mind of a relentless resolute driven by all the wrong ideas because of the pain he so adamantly refused the face, Eddie Munson was the cause of your ultimate failure. Eddie Munson manipulated his daughter. Eddie Munson got his daughter suspended. Eddie Munson would be the reason your failure tainted the family name. 
Eddie pummeled through your door, coming face-to-face with the extravagant expanse of your home. Cold. Everything was freezing cold, from the temperature to the decoration. Deprived from any signs of life. As if it was a museum. His bulging eyes found the large staircase, and it truly amazed him how his feet found every step without thought, simply autopilot. There was a yanking urge that was demanding him to go back. Go back for you. Make sure you were okay. Make sure to clean your tears up. Once again, he was making you cry. Maybe not entirely his fault, but his being was partaking in your agony and he fucking hated himself for it. But the weighing steps of her father marching right on his ass prompted him to move forward. Your front door was swung carelessly, welcoming the hot air of the burning morning, where once again, the clean cut grass of the manicured lawn was falling victim to Eddie’s destruction of mucky shoes. Maybe drinking hadn’t been too bad of an idea—it absolutely was—as Eddie’s drunken state, at nine at night, had left his keys impaled into the ignition ready to go. 
The haggard van erupted to life, Eddie had never been so grateful to hear the god awful clunk that definitely needed to be checked out. Peer out once more, your wrathful father ran with a tirade of curses that condemned Eddie Munson back to hell, but the screech of his reversing tires interrupted his polemic. “Don’t you ever come back! You’ll be dead before your kind can even step foot into my fucking neighborhood!”
Eddie Munson would return back in eighteen hours. 
-
“There’s an old man sitting next to me…” Wayne softly chuckled, as the lyrics had been repeating out of his mouth for the entirety of his shift, after Rodney Nickelvich decided to play the voice of Billy Joel during break. 
It’d been a particularly difficult shift. His back wasn’t getting any younger, and the evident ache that decided to settle in the lower region was making it known. But the stiffness of his folding bed would alleviate enough, at least until his next shift. But that never came for Wayne Munson. Because the second—the literal second—his head managed to even briefly skim his flat pillow, the presence of his caterwauling nephew combusted through their front door with no regards for the tired old man in the living room. Eddie hadn’t even looked his way. A straight B-line to the phone. 
“And where the hell have you been?” Wayne groaned with prostration. “Comin’ in here like you own the place, have you lost your mind, boy?”
But there was no answer. 
Where Eddie would have normally spoken back with a clear answer of respect, there was nothing. No acknowledgement. 
“Ed.”
Already engraved into his mind like the chords to his guitar, Eddie punched the buttons to your number on the yellow phone. But then he stopped. “I need the time… I don’t want you calling.” But this was bigger than that, right? He needed to know you were okay. “Please don’t hate me.” He scrunched his brows in the burning pain of betraying your boundaries. Once again. His finger dialed the rest of the numbers. 
But it was dead. Not a ring. Not a buzz. Not a single indication that your phone was even ringing. Just a deadline. And Eddie’s heart sank to the deepest pit in his stomach. “Fuck!”
“Eddie.” Wayne’s face etched with concern. “What the hell is goin’ on?”
Eddie’s chest began hyperventilating with worry for you. “I-I… shit, I-uh… I really gotta get to school.”
Wayne sat up, now. Never in the decade he’s been in the care of Eddie Munson had that boy ever rushed out to get to school. Something was deeply wrong. But he couldn’t even hurtle a question of scrutiny, as Eddie had already slammed the door shut with his being gone, so deeply perturbed. 
-
Eddie was truly pissed off at this point. 
The entire proposition of arriving early to school was to find Chrissy Cunningham, but just as it occurred yesterday afternoon, the cheerleader was nowhere to be seen in the breadth of Hawkins High. He knew he was going against your wishes, quite specifically, but his heart and mind couldn’t fathom the possible danger you could be subjected to. He had too. Right? Would you just hate him more for interfering? God, he was shooting himself over the complication he construed the entire situation to become. Asking his friends had quickly been classified as the most imbecilic measure he’d ever succumb to, as those guys had never found the courage to conjure up an idea to jump start an actual conversation with an actual girl. Knowing where the head cheerleader was was beyond their source of knowledge. Yesterday’s clothes, dry mouth, red eyes, the residing ache of his hangover still tormenting his sore limbs, and now having no comprehension of whether or not you were safe at the aggressive hands of your father, Eddie was about to traject the heaviest waterfall of beer and bile onto the grimy floors of Mr. Hall’s carpentry class. But the shrieking bell unexpectedly pacified the turbulence brewing in his belly, and he was shoving passed visibly annoyed bodies to reach the cafeteria. His only chance. 
His overloaded mind didn’t even process the trouble he was walking into, but unwavering was Eddie Munson as he marched into the bustling cafeteria of crackling students and cardboard food, legs pushing him to the table. “Chrissy!” Heads snapped like automated robots. Yeah, he probably should have thought this out. Glares couldn’t even amount to the looks he was receiving from the highest of Hawkins High. This was no laughing matter, but the urge to not laugh at Jason Carver’s battered face left all self control out of Eddie, as the perfect comb-over paired with the purple swollen skin personified the magnificence of juxtapositions.
“You want something, freak?” Jason stood with a puffed chest.
“Look a little different, Carver, that new?” Eddie gestured to the contuse skin, smirking oleaginously. As if it was previously discussed, Andy McAvoy and Chance Williams stood to defend the precious honor of their friend. In Eddie’s mind, it pleased him to know a conversation of protection was ordered by Jason to his goons to preserve any remaining prettiness of his face. Prom was coming up. “Relax, I didn’t say your names, did I?” 
Eddie and Jason’s gaze looked down upon Chrissy, who’s brows were cinched with confusion and worry as to what was going to occur. Jason could only snicker incredulously. “She’s not speaking to you! You really think I’m gonna leave her with some devil worshiper like you? Why don’t you do this whole town a favor and fuck off with the circus, fucking basketcase.”
But Eddie was indefatigable to the insults of the perfectly pristine. They’d been propelled since childhood, the last thing to strike his ego would be the dense words of Jason fucking Carver. Eddie had bigger issues at hand. 
“That’s really cute, Carver, but she can make her own decisions, and right now,” Eddie locked eyes with a frantic Chrissy Cunningham, “we have something important to talk about.” It was imperative for Chrissy to understand, and the moment her eyes softened, a breath of relief escaped Eddie at her understanding. Your name was oozing importance. 
“Are you that fucking insane-”
“Jason,” Chrissy held his hand, “h-he’s right.”
“What?!”
A disgustingly pompous smile eased onto Eddie’s face.
“It’s, uh, it’s for, um, Mrs. Durberry.” Chrissy nodded. “I-I have to, uh, tutor Eddie. We, um, we discussed it yesterday during, uh, lunch. Yeah, during lunch!”
“During lunch.” Eddie smirked with a condescending nod. 
Jason huffed through flared nostrils, bending down to look Chrissy right in the eye. Though whispered in secrecy, Eddie rolled his eyes with agitation. “Are you sure about this? Is he just making you do this?”
“No, I promise.” Chrissy assured. “You know I aced chemistry, Mrs. Durberry is just trying to give me an opportunity to get community service hours, and tutoring was the perfect chance. You know it’ll look good for college applications.”
The lie was good enough to believe- not good enough to like, but good enough to believe, and that’s all Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham needed. Jason sat down in defeat, the other players following in unison, as Chrissy gathered her items. “You try anything, Munson, and you're dead.” Jason pointed with a stern finger. 
Chrissy had quickly walked by, hoping Eddie would just follow, but of course, he couldn’t leave without the last word. “Right, right,” he slyly smiled, “might wanna put some ice on that, s’looking a little nasty. Who did that to you again?”
“Eddie.” Chrissy chastised.
Now, it was most abundantly clear that Chrissy Cunningham was not an indictment of the American education system, her grades almost as perfect as yours—though no one could come close to your precociousness—yet Eddie had to reevaluate his beliefs when Chrissy was marching vastly farther than anticipated. 
“Jesus Christ, Chris, y’know we don’t actually have to intrude Durberry’s class? She fucking hates me.” Eddie giggled. “‘Specially after I used the bunsen burner to light a joint. Kept asking “what’s that smell” for a week.”
Chrissy finally came to a halt after turning into another empty hall. “Sorry.” She sighed. “Just can’t have Jason following us.”
“Y’know, you could probably do better than some control freak who follows you around.” Eddie shrugged.
Chrissy blinked at her shoes in contemplation. Eddie hadn’t expected the words to hit so deeply, a mere critique to the numerous problems he found in Jason Carver, but nonetheless, the cheerleader got extremely quiet, before shaking her head to get back to the point. 
“A-anyways, um, what is it that you, uh, wanted?” She rushed out.
“Oh! Right, um, I need you to go to Y/N’s house.” His eyes widened, as his lips tightened between his mouth. He knew it was outrageous to ask.
“W-what?”
“Look, I know that’s a big ask-”
“I already gave you her number and address, why don’t you g-”
“I did!” He heaved. “I fucking did, and I messed up!”
Chrissy slumped,“Again?!” 
Eddie winced. Again, again, again, again, again. 
“Look, I “made” it to her house, and we got to talk. But her fucking dad caught me in her room, and just went haywire on me. Practically chased me out.” Eddie stressed. “And I-I tried to call her to make sure she was okay, I mean, it’d been a long night and she was crying when I left, and, fuck, Chris, I don’t know what her dad is capable of.” Is he like my dad? “Her line was dead when I tried, like off the hook, and I can’t go over to make sure she’s safe, Chrissy. I have to make sure she’s okay. Can you please just, I don’t know, do this for me, I’m fucking helpless here, I’m…” Helpless to my mother.
Chrissy was taken aback by the pure fear in his eyes as he rambled into oblivion. She knew you. She knew your father. She could only imagine how ballistic he’s gone in the past couple of days knowing what’s happened. “Okay, okay, okay, yeah, um, yeah,” Chrissy took a deep breath with a soft nod to her head, “Yeah, I’ll try to come over- but her dad’s really strict, Eddie. Like extremely, he’s the only reason why she’s so, you know, hard about her grades and stuff, I don’t know if he’d actually let me see her-”
“Please, please, just try.” Chrissy took notice of just how tightly his hands were balling into themselves, knuckles turning a blistering white from the lack of ease he was inflicting upon himself. “She’s your friend, and she doesn’t want to see me, so please, I’m begging you, Chris-”
“I will, Eddie, I will.” She reassured, as she adjusted her knit sweater that suddenly became itchy on her sensitive skin. “I just, um, I’ll probably have to come up with an excuse, a-and skip practice.”
“Look, m’sorry I’m dragging you into this, but I just need to make sure she’s okay, and maybe you can finally have a chance to talk to her about…y’know.” Chrissy shook her head quickly, acknowledging but not trying to think about her implicit endorsement to the status quo at Hawkins High, and how much it had hurt you. And she let it hurt you. “Just- you can’t tell her it was me who sent you, okay? Sh-she wants nothing to do with me, and I’m trying to respect that, I just need to know she’s safe, but she can’t know I sent you. I don’t- I don’t want to make her more upset, Chris. I can’t, I just-”
“Eddie,” Realizing the words were once again coming out a mile a minute, he bit his tongue, letting a bubble of air constrict his lungs with a fervent grip. He wasn’t about to cry. He couldn’t. Not here. Not at school. Not in front of Chrissy fucking Cunningham. Not that she’d judge much, she could already see the sheen of his eyes. “I’ll do it, I’ll check on her. A-and I won’t say it was you.”
His body was finally able to ease at her response, finally letting his airway release all tensions from the stirring anxiety that was still nesting in the crevices of his stomach. “Thank you, thank you so much.” His hands reached for her shoulders with a firm shake of acknowledgement, though his strength had her stumbling on her feet a bit. Not that he noticed. He was still worrying about you. “Just, uh, call me or something, the second she, uh- the second you know she’s okay.” Eddie didn’t want to think of the other possibility. The possibility where your father had laid a hand on you. Or worse. He wouldn’t know what to do. In his experience, silently crying and letting daddy take his frustrations out was the safest option. It was what mommy said to do, so dad wouldn’t do worse. At least ice cream was always promised at the end to make it all go away.
“Yeah, okay, I’ll do that.” She nodded in agreement. 
With the confirmation stated, Eddie had already begun walking away with a determined plan in mind to sit in front of the yellow telephone until the shrilling call came through. His mind dead set on you. 
“Wait!” Chrissy had to snap him back to reality. “Eddie, I don’t have your phone number.” She lightheartedly scoffed.
Chrissy Cunningham began to worry. Yes, about you. She was ready to march her way past your father in order to make sure you were okay, and to pour her heart out on a well needed apology just so you could understand how sorry she was. Even if you didn’t accept it. But she was also worried about herself. Never in a million years did she expect Eddie Munson, of all people, to show her what true feelings were. He hadn’t even talked to you for more than a week, and he was bending over backwards to ensure all his wrongs were corrected for your safety and comfort. Jason Carvered loved her, she knew it, but the subtle things were becoming pronounced. Do you really think you should be wearing that? My parents will be there. Just come to the party, I’ll look bad if my girlfriend’s not there. When she comes back, I don’t want you hanging around Y/N anymore. She’s bad news and betrayed your friendship by fucking around with that trailer trash. Don’t make yourself look bad by being friends with her.
“Shit, yeah, sorry, my, uh, my brains all over the place.” He crazily signaled with a swing of his hand. Unlike yesterday, Chrissy’s pink pen was tainting a small torn sheet of notebook paper rather than skin, as risking the chance of Jason Carver seeing Eddie Munson’s phone number written on her hand would prompt another outburst of fury between the boys. So as Eddie reiterated the numbers to his home, Chrissy copied with intent. 
Intent to see you. Intent to apologize. Intent to inform Eddie.
“Okay, I’ll call you as soon as I leave her place.” Chrissy assured, as the queasiness in Eddie had simmered but surely hadn’t left. He knew as soon as he got home, the consternation would eat him unalive. 
Eddie nodded his head. “Yeah, thanks again, seriously, I’ll owe you whatever.” He sighed, before his brows perked. “Oh! I can give a twenty percent discount!” He didn’t even have to specify. 
Chrissy Cunningham didn’t smoke. But at least he was trying. 
“Uh, s-sure, Eddie.” She simply agreed, and it was able to give him a satisfied smile. “Anyways, yeah, I’ll talk to you later. Just try not to worry too much, I’m sure she’s okay.” She inspirited. 
“Okay, yeah, as soon as you can.” Eddie sighed. “I’ll leave you to it, I’m gonna go throw up or something.”
-
Luckily, Eddie Munson didn’t vomit in the filthy stall that is the boys’ bathroom at Hawkins High, though Chrissy Cunningham sure felt like she was about to hurl today’s lunch and breakfast standing at the doorstep of your home. Her toes tensed in the comfort of her sneakers, hearing the incoming steps of your father approaching the door. Hands gripping the straps of her backpack, she was ready- well, as ready as one can be about to face their best friend’s—did she even have a right to call you that—daunting father. 
The door swung. “Hi, Mr. Y/L/N!” Smile, a bright smile and wave from Chrissy Cunningham was sure enough to get anyone to be polite. But his face plastered the same dead expression he’s had for the last four years Chrissy had known him. No smile. No squint of the eyes. Unemotional stoicism. 
“Hi, Chrissy.” Robots had more pep in their voices. “Sorry, but Y/N is grounded, for quite an extensive period actually, so she’s not allowed visitors. Go home.” He began to close the door, but Chrissy’s manicured hand abruptly stopped the closure. 
“Wait!” She immediately reeled back, seeing the disrespecting look take over his face. “Sorry, sir, I-I’m not here to hang out, it’s just, uh, I brought all the school work Y/N’s missed. You know, from her suspension?” She spoke sheepishly. “A-and well, we don’t want her falling behind, sir.” A nervous chuckle accompanied her faux parent voice. “In fact, Mrs. Durberry and I actually discussed tutoring, so, you know, Y/N is back on track by the time of her return.”
It was in regards to your grades, your father’s favorite. Chrissy Cunningham was a genius. 
“Really?” He questioned quizzically.
“Yeah!” Chrissy bounced on the balls of her feet with a firm pat to her backpack. “I’ve got all her work right here. She’s free to turn it in when she gets back, and you know, she’s firmly secured that valedictorian spot, so there’s no need to worry.” She smiled, and of course, of course, that’s all he cared about in the wake of your suspension. 
So easily had Chrissy been let into your home. She wondered what she would say to you, as she followed behind your father to your room. It was strange. Your home had always been a cold one, but your laughter and the endless sleepless sleepovers had the ability to bring warmth to such a colorless environment. But all that suffocated her was hostility. Long gone were the memories of an innocent friendship between the two girls. Another factor to consider was the mere fact that your father was guiding Chrissy. She’d been over to your house for years, the layout didn’t suddenly change over a couple days, and a nervous thump began upsetting Chrissy’s heart. And she found out why.
“Had to lock her up.” He uttered with no shame, as he pulled out a glowing key from his pocket. Haphazardly bolted on your door was a new lock, evidently cheaply and hastily done, as the lock resembled the numerous ones used for the lockers at Hawkins High, and the chipped paint and exposed wood could only insinuate the fury in which this job was done in. Your door lock, one onced used when you and Chrissy discussed the boys you thought were cutest at school in your pink pajamas, was now accompanied by a prison lock keeping you captive in your bedroom. “Should've seen the trash she was bringing in.” He muttered mostly to himself. Chrissy didn’t speak. She couldn’t speak. Too disturbed for her own wellbeing. “Do me a favor, kid,” he unlocked the door, “knock some sense into that disgrace.”
He walked away without a care.
The door creaked open, and Chrissy had taken a deep breath. Stepping inside, with a soft click of the door behind her, her eyes landed on the still figure on your bed. Turned away and engaging at the neverending nothingness of everything, you cocooned yourself in your blanket, like a hurt child. Because you merely were one. Chrissy looked away, inching tiny steps closer. Disheveled would be an understatement to the usual cleanliness of your room. Knick-knacks and personal items were thrown about, cracked, and broken, and damaged beyond the actions of someone who was depressed. No, this was the destruction of deep rooted anger. 
No expecting the company, you simply screwed your eyes closed with the awaiting words of hatred you thought would be coming from your father at any second. But it didn’t. Only the familiar softness of Chrissy Cunningham, your best friend. “Y/N…?”
You immediately jumped at the sound, meeting your reddening, wet eyes with Chrissy’s round, worried blue ones. “Chrissy…”
The occupying distrust you had for her was incomparable to the pain of what had occurred today. Yes, she hurt you. Yes, you lost your one true friend. But you needed her. And your arms opened like the broken child reaching out for help, and she immediately embraced you on your bed. Your bed, where you spent countless times giving each other at-home mani and pedis, even though your allowances provided enough for professional services, but this was more fun. Your bed, where Chrissy once vented about the first fight she ever had with Jason Carver, because he disregarded her at a party to do a keg stand—yes, it was trivial, but they were sixteen at the time. And your bed, where you both shared the vulnerability of losing a mother, either physically or emotionally, through sobbing tears and tight hugs, but none of that mattered because you were best friends and had each other. Forever. 
“Are you okay?” Her vision appeared blurry under the disorientating state of water welling in her eyes. “I’m so sorry for everything.” Chrissy stroked your hair. You couldn’t muster a word to respond with, merely silently crying into the junction of her neck, where she smelled of spring flowers. You’d picked out that perfume for her. Her seventeenth birthday. “I should’ve stuck up for you, I-I should’ve told everyone to stop, I’m so sorry I didn’t.”
Her apology suddenly revealed why you lost trust in her in the first place. Urgently pulling back from the hug far quicker than Chrissy would have liked, you brought your knees to your chest, letting your face find solace on the tiny space rather than her embrace. 
“What are you doing here, Chris?” You mumbled so quiet, she was barely able to register it from the chirping birds outside. 
“I came to apologize to you.” At least she wasn’t drunk. “I- Y/N everything I did to you was awful.” Her plucked brows furrowed with shame and remorse. You carefully picked up your head, as she gently held knee. “When everyone started saying stuff about you, I was so confused, and before I could even question it, Jason had me promise to not be around you, and I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to excuse what I did, I just should have known better, and I needed to apologize to you.” 
Your eyes had closed in relief. You were beyond the trenches of exhaustion, everything was so sore from the exertion of crying, that the simple apology brought the grand relief you’d been yearning for. “I-I think I need space away from Jason.” That had your eyes snapping open. Jason and Chrissy, in love since the tenth grade, becoming the embodiment of young love in Hawkins. Their parents had practically set up a future in which both attended the same university as young adults, and married each other with the expectation of kids by the age of twenty-five. 
“I don’t like who he is as a person.” She confessed with a wobbly lip. “ I know he loves me, but I love you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
You took her back into a loving hug, where she fell limp in your arms, as her tears stained your clothes. Though muffled you spoke with a small whine, “You sound like Eddie.” Which had her giggling through tears. 
She had slowly pulled away, smiling at the small curve of your lips that was brightening your face. She wiped your tears, and caressed the hairs out of your face. “Yeah, he’s kinda my new friend now.” She shrugged. “Even offered me a discount to his… business.”
You laughed with a roll to your eyes. “Quite the entrepreneur he is.” She snickered in agreement. “But yeah, I could tell when he came to my house yesterday.”
“Oh, god.” Chrissy plopped back on your bed. “How did you even figure out it was me, you’re so smart?” 
You giggled, joining her, as you stared up at the ceiling. “Seeing someone like Eddie Munson show up with pretty pink writing on him doesn’t seem like something that occurs innately in nature. Figured you had something to do with it.”
“I’m sorry for that, too.” She turned to look at you. “I shouldn’t have given him that information without asking you. He just really wanted to apologize to you, too, and it seemed like the right thing to do. What even happened?” She sat up to get serious.
You couldn’t fathom retelling the occurrence of what happened, so you merely opted for the safest choice, and nodded your head in silence. “He did apologize, just wish he would have done it differently.” You sighed. “And, uh, my dad-” Your throat had automatically constricted at the simple mention of him, eyes tightening with the hopes of suppressing the whirlwind of tears that were about to flood your face. “Chrissy, he wouldn’t stop yelling.” You began bawling, as she pulled you up to wrap her arms around your shrinking body. “H-he kept screaming a-and shouting, then he just- he just started throwing things-” Chrissy could only rock you body, gently and softly, letting your tears hit her shoulder with all might. “I was so scared.”
The dreaded question. “Did- did he hit you?” Chrissy spoke into your hair, terrified of how you might answer. But luckily, the tiniest bit of luck, you had shook your head no, and she let out a deep breath. But the harsh slap of reality was that your father had still severely crossed a line that put you in an unsafe environment. And you were petrified. 
“He’s not letting me leave my room.” You whispered through sniffles. 
“Did he take your phone, Edd-” Chrissy contemplated for a second, before she spoke extremely softly. “Eddie said you didn’t pick up when he tried to call you after what happened.”
“He tried to call me?”
“Just to make sure you were okay.” She emphasized. “He said he’s trying to respect your wishes of wanting space, but after what happened, he just needed to know you were safe… that’s why- that’s why I’m here.” Your brows furrowed and you immediately sat up. “I’d been wanting to apologize to you, and Eddie had been dying to make sure you were okay, so he asked me to come check on you, and so I could finally say sorry to you. He- Y/N, he really cares about you. We both do.”
This was the bit of progress you were wanting to see. To know that the Eddie Munson you met Friday afternoon, the one who coward away at the mere idea of feelings and compassion, the one who uttered the vile words that stabbed right through you, the one who shouted in defense because he was hurt, that that wasn’t him. It wasn’t who he wanted to be. It wasn’t who he truly was. But a recovery from trauma was not a linear progression, and last night you were able to understand the fluctuations of Eddie Munson, the reason why he berated and hurt, the reason why he comforted and protected, the reason why he wailed and sobbed. 
“Chrissy, when’s the next time you’re gonna see him?” You cleared your face from staining tears.
“I’ll see him at school tomorrow, but he asked me to call him to make sure you were safe first.”
You nodded. “I, uh- can you actually ask him something for me?”
-
That one clunking noise Eddie had once been so happy to hear? Yeah, he’s returned back to detesting it, as he felt it drew so much attention to the all too quiet streets of Pinecrest Acres. He made the conscience—and sober—decision to park behind the gray De Tomaso Pantera—fighting the urge to just pop the hood and look at the beauty inside—that resided two houses down from yours. It gave him enough coverage away from any view of your father. Eddie was terrified. Much to his dismay, Chrissy had been fairly vague over the phone when she rang him at 5:59 p.m exactly. Luckily by then, a buddy of Wayne’s had taken him out to an early dinner before their shift at the plant, so his uncle missed out on the Olympic-worthy run Eddie had made to the phone the second it began ringing. And Chrissy had spoken. A lot. But so little at the same time. He was happy to hear you guys made up. Truly he was. But Chrissy had carried on for a five minute tangent about how gladly you accepted her back into your life again. Eddie Munson was honestly jealous. Though she had mentioned how you specified wanting time away from her, too, maybe meeting up to speak that coming Monday at school when your suspension would be over. Eddie had wondered if you would speak to him then, too. But he didn’t have to wonder much longer. After he so kindly told the cheerleader to get to the point, the real point he wanted to hear, she had assured him that you were okay. Physically, at least. Eddie had dropped to his kitchen chair with a breath of relief that no one had touched you. But then Chrissy kept speaking. She wants to see you. Tonight. That had Eddie trajecting back up from his seat. But his questions had disappointingly gone unanswered. No details. No explanation. No reasoning. Just show up, Eddie. At midnight. At her window. And not drunk. Chrissy had never gotten the full story as to what went down between you and Eddie, so that part desperately confused and intrigued the girl, but she didn’t push any further. Eddie, though, had cringed in disgust at himself because he knew. 
An owl had hooted in the distance as he followed the tracks his beloved, dying van had made on your green lawn. Once again, Eddie had found himself in the same position as last night, cracking his neck and rolling his limbs for the climb of a lifetime. If it was somehow possible, he felt he was quivering more than when he was three beers down and no dinner. Yes, he was sober, but his heart could stop beating at the neverending questions his mind was bombarding against himself. Were you mad because he sent Chrissy over? Surely you couldn’t be, she would have said so. But you could also be really fucking pissed. The same type of anger that caught him off guard when his father swung on his little face when Eddie thought they were having a good time.
But he couldn’t rely on heavy thoughts as such. He just needed to get to you. Passed the trellis, over the trimming, onto the roof. Quiet as Eddie Munson could be. He couldn’t really be quiet, but he tried for you. Crouching his way to your window, he sucked in a deep breath before he ever so gently tapped on your window. He was eyeing his reflection, wondering who the hell he had become. The one definitive figure he didn’t want to become: his father. A relentless pessimist, hatred against the world, bruteness to show off, and the inability to take accountability for the hurt they cause, because they were hurt first, right?
But then your curtains opened, and there you were. You.
You, who’d included his friends when no one wanted them. You, who made him smile despite his hesitations of getting hurt. You, who took the fall for everything. You, who gave Eddie Munson a chance. 
You lifted your window open. “Hi.”
Eddie could cry right then and there. His shaky trembling hands slowly offered themselves to you, and you peered down, gently laying yours in his, where your warmth dissipated his coldness. He sighed with a loving grasp. “Y-you’re okay? He didn’t- did he touch you?”
Eddie had heard it from Chrissy, but hearing your small “no” was more comforting than a third-party person. 
“Why, um, why did you need to see me?” He softly cleared his throat. 
“I want to talk, b-but not here.” Eddie nodded ardently at your request. “Just somewhere far.”
Somewhere far, he could give that to you.
Helping you out of your window, you followed Eddie’s led to the edge of your roof, where you traced the dying height from your second story room to the hard, hard, ground. “Don’t be scared.” He soothingly smiled. “Remember, I made the climb drunk.”
You shook your head in disappointment, but he saw that small, beautiful smile peak through your lips. “Just, um, please don’t let me fall.” Your stomach sunk at the eerie possibility. 
But Eddie was there, and he let you know with a secure squeeze to your joint hands. “Never.”
You watched him descend. Off of the roof. Over the trimming. Down the trellis. He made it look so easy, as if he actively partook in the illegal activity of breaking and entering. Eddie would never admit it, not now at least, but for good reason he had done it once. Once. Mr. Godly had a cat that fifteen-year-old Eddie once saw the old man kick. Safe to say, Cronkers now resides in the makeshift cat house of cardboard, wood, and a childhood blanket behind the Munson’s residence. Her favorite is Wayne’s Monday meatloaf. 
He encouraged you down delicately. Instructing you to take small movements, find your steps, and he’ll be right there. He’d always be there. When your Converse hit the holes of the trellis, his hands faintly found your waist, where you trusted him to carry you down the last couple abrasive steps onto your crushed garden. Feet safely on the ground, you gazed up at his staggering height and met his concerned eyes. You merely nodded before he could get the words out, are you okay?
“Your car?” You interrupted his staring. But in his defense, your face was illuminated mesmerizingly in the moonlight of the dark sky. 
“Right, right.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He muttered in embarrassment, as he quickly walked away before you could see his flushing cheeks. As if you hadn’t already witnessed him ugly cry drunk in your bedroom. 
You walked the quiet trip to his van, where he graciously opened the door for you. You didn’t know at the time, but the couple yards it took to get to his car, he’d been battling himself whether or not that’d be the right move to try. He’d never opened the door for anyone. But your small “thank you” that flashed his way had him praising to the gods he didn’t even believe in that he was a genius.
His car smelled strongly like cigarettes and weed. It honestly hurt your head, but you hadn’t expected anything less from Eddie. It made you giggle to yourself. The usual was everywhere; littered receipts and wrappers crumbled into the door compartments, numerous scented trees hanging from the rear view mirror, which you could only assume had been Eddie’s attempt to mask the nicotine and marajuana, and of course, an array of tapes thrown upon the floor at your feet, you could vividly imagine Eddie getting tired of a tape and carelessly getting rid of it. But then there was something else.
Eddie appeared in the front seat. “You ready?” He heaved.
“Yeah, but, um, why do you have these?”
“Ice cream?” He questioned more than answered. Yes, ice cream sitting in the tight space of his cupholders, two cartons with a spoon for each. “Um, well, I figured it’d be nice to, uh, have. I always, uh, liked having it, I guess. Always made me feel slightly better as a kid. It’s vanilla and chocolate. You can take whichever.” You eyed him incredulously, he eyed you worriedly. “Do you not like either of those flavors? I know I went basic, but I thought they were safe choices. I can get you whatever. Strawberry, cookies n’ cream, mint?” He grimaced, as though it was a deal breaker but he’d look right past it.
You giggled at him. “No, Eddie, it’s okay. I just didn’t expect it.” You shyly smiled.
“Okay, good.” He smiled, with a whistle of relievement. “So, it’ll make you feel better?”
-
Lovers Lake had been the destination of choice for Eddie. It was quiet and calming. The car ride had been, too. Eddie had suggested some music, but was adamant about his disdain for the radio, though you weren’t necessarily in the mood to have the voices of Megadeth screaming at you this late at night. Eddie had begrudgingly agreed. So it was quiet. He was itching to ask you why you wanted to talk, though that only seemed appropriate whenever you would arrive. You had reached over and played with the mini bobble head figure of Garfield that was nestled against his van’s windshield. You said it was cute. He blushed. Then proceeded to nervously ramble about how Uncle Wayne had one of Odie in his work truck. You didn’t know Uncle Wayne, but he spoke about him like you knew every detail about Wayne already. The lake had been abandoned and lonely upon arrival. The lights to Rick Lipton’s lake house had been shut off for nearly a year now after his arrest. Eddie had only agreed and smiled when you mentioned how an old, lovely couple probably lived there and sat out by the lake to watch the sunset. Sure, something like that. He’d let you have your fantasy. The way the idea lit up your face and eased your tension, he wasn’t about to ruin that. 
“We can, um, head to the back.” He offered, to which you agreed.
In truth, the bundle of blankets and pillows in the back of his van didn’t paint him out to be the greatest of all people, but he quickly assured that he frequently takes nap in the comfort of his van when he doesn’t have the energy for Mrs. O’Donnell’s voice. Specifically adding a yapping gesture with his hand to emphasize. So there you were. Sitting in the back, doors open to let in the midnight breeze, as you looked out to the glistening waters. You’d settled on vanilla after you noticed the tighter grip Eddie’s hand had clutched around the chocolate flavor, and surely, a blooming smile erupted on his face when he got to secure his preferred flavor of dessert.
“So, um-”
“I just wanted to speak to you.” You confided. “You know, when we’re not yelling, crying, or drunk,” you giggled at his wincing face, “as we have been doing for the past couple of days.”
“M’a fucking mess, I’m sorry.” 
“So am I, Eddie-”
“No, you’re not.” He firmly attested. “You were absolutely perfect before I came into your life and fucked everything up.”
You teased, “You're saying I’m not perfect now?” Your mouth dropped in a dramatic gasp that had him smiling. 
“No! No! I’m not saying that at all, you are perfect now, you’ll be perfect for the rest of your life and you won’t even have to try.” He sheepishly grinned, filling his mouth with a big spoonful to bite back the smile.
“Hate to break it to you, Eddie, but I’ve been far from perfect even before I met you. I wish you would see that. It’s doing more harm than good.” You spoke sincerely. “I don’t like you placing me into a bubble, Eddie, especially when you’ve hated the people who’ve done it to you. But I never have.”
His head dropped with a nod. “You’re right.” He accounted. “I’ve had the bullshit done to me for years, I thought it’d finally make me feel good to do it to someone like you. And it was fucking gross of me, because you’re right, you’ve never done anything to me. Actually, that night you took our photo, that was quite literally the nicest anyone has ever treated me- us. And, fuck me, did I like the shit out of you.”
You laughed at his shy revelation. “You have such a romantic way with your words, Eddie Munson.” You joked. 
“Sorry.” He covered his mouth so kidlike. “But, uh, yeah I obviously liked you, and well, something in me was just fighting me to stay away. Or get away, more than anything. Because, um, it’d… it’d really fucking hurt if you didn’t like me back.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, speaking with pure shame as to who he was as a person. “And, well, mission fucking accomplished, I, sorta, kinda went above and beyond with that logic.”
“You think?” You smiled.
“It was so stupid of me.” He regrettably sighed. “Because-because I thought- you were just so nice to me. Ready to be my friend and everything, that I knew, I fucking knew my feelings would get too much for me and the realizations that I couldn’t be with you fucking scared me.” His voice had significantly softened to ease the burning ache in his throat. “A-and I’m such a shit excuse of a person that I fucking hurt you when you didn’t deserve it.”
“You are not that, Eddie, don’t say that-”
“But I am, Y/N, I’m so fucking terrible. I-I’m, fuck- I really fucking hate my dad.” Your brows creased at the sudden change of topics. “He was an awful person, he- he would-” The crying began. “Fuck,” he wiped his tears completely embarrassed, “He would just do terrible things to me and my mom, and I fucking said- I fucking said I wouldn’t be like him, be like her- she just fucking took that shit, Y/N, she said it was for the best.” You held his hand, his ice cream long forgotten and pushed to the side. “I just don’t want to be like him- them. M’tryin’ so fucking hard that it fucking backfired. M’such a terrible person, and I’m so sorry.”
You wished this conversation wasn’t full of tears, but you realized how inevitable that idea was. You and Eddie Munson were hurting and releasing. Crying was necessary.
“You are not a terrible person, Eddie.” He had to hear, loud and clear. You rested your head on his shoulder, where his head dropped upon yours. “Terrible people don’t sit and wonder if they’re terrible. And the fact that you care about how you are as a person shows it.” You caressed the back of his hand. “You are a worthwhile person, Eddie. I can so clearly see it.”
“I’m really fucking sorry for everything I’ve done to you, Y/N.” He wiped the incoming snot from his nose with his denim sleeve. “I-I need you to know that everything I did was out of fucking stupidity.” He huffed. “What I called you, those names, that was fucking disgusting, and I don’t believe that about you at all. I never have.”
“I’m sorry for what I said about you, too-”
“Don’t you fucking dare say you’re sorry for telling the truth.” He deeply laughed through his sniffles, voice deeper from the being nasally stuffed.
You smiled back guilty. “No, I am! What I said was really mean, too.”
“Absolutely not, sweetheart.” He chuckled. “What was it, ‘a sulking asshole too pathetic to deal with their problems?’ You hit it right on the nail, princess.”
“Well,” you giggled, “even if you won't let me apologize, I need you to know that I still feel bad. Slightly.”
“Fair enough.” He grinned. “But I do need to apologize, and I need you to know that I’m truly sorry, Y/N. For everything. For what I said. For what I did. For making you feel horrible and scared. And for just putting you through all that. You didn’t deserve any of it. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“I know.” You whispered. “And if it’s any consolation to you, Eddie, I also hate my dad.”
“Oh, my god.” Eddie clutched his heart. “He really put a fucking number on me, fuck me.” He groaned, turning to face you. “Please, please, please tell me if he does something. I won’t be able to fucking live my life not knowing.”
Your lips tucked tightly within themselves, and with a soft nod you assured him you would.
You spoke. You both spoke for a while. The hours had passed unknowingly until both tubs of ice cream were empty by 3:33 a.m. Tears and laughter had flooded the back of the van, and you felt like you’d been his friends with him since childhood. He couldn’t fathom the way he treated you, when speaking to you floated him into another dimension of peace and acceptance. Something he hadn’t felt in the entirety of his life. But when you caught a glimpse of the repeating digits on his watch, your heart panicked and you urged him to take you home, which he suddenly complied. This time, though, Megadeth was gladly played, and to say you were shocked would be quite an understatement. Eddie had belted a laugh at your abrupt introduction to metal, finding your this-is-weird-but-I-don’t-want-you-to-think-I’m-judging-you face as the cutest thing ever. And sooner than he liked, he pulled up behind the De Tomaso Pantera. Your attempt to say goodbye fell short, though, when he shot down your idea to walk home alone.
“Really, Eddie, go home, it’s late.” You huffed, when you reached your house.
“I will, I will,” He snickered with defensive hands. “Just, uh, th-thank you so much for, um- well, being so understanding even after all that I did. I just- you really are the best, Y/N.” He ranked his hands over his face in hopes of concealing the ever growing smile on his face.
“Thank you, Eddie.” You giggled at his flustered state. “You’re quite incredible yourself.”
“Do, um, where does this… leave us?”
“I still want space, Eddie.” You spoke honestly, to which he concurred. “Until we’re okay.”
“Until we’re okay.” He sighed. 
-
Eddie had managed to take advantage of the four hours of sleep left until school began. There was no sleeping past his alarm clock, no rush to get dressed, no giving up when lateness was inevitable. He’d shown up, showered and full with a bowl of cereal that went a long way, as he approached Ms. Kelly’s office. It was nerve wracking. He’d never considered this to be a good idea, in fact, following his father’s word, therapy was a pussy excuse for the delusional to waste money on. But those were the words that held him captive from the potential he so well deserved to reach. Turning from her filing cabinet, Ms. Kelly had caught sight of his timid figure standing at the door. 
“Eddie.” She hadn’t been unfamiliar with his being, she’d actually been the one to break it to him the last two times that he was in for another year at prison Hawkins High. “How can I help you?”
He sauntered his way into her office, taking a seat with a gruff. It was evident his persona to seem calm, cool, and collected was falling through the cracks, as his finger spun the numerous rings on his fingers. “I, uh, I was wondering if it’d be cool to, um, just talk?”
“Absolutely.” Ms. Kelly dreamed of the day Eddie Munson would enter her office with good intentions. “Anything in particular?”
He shook his head. “No.” He sighed. “Just got a lot pent up inside, I guess.”
“Well, the floor is yours, Eddie.” She smiled. “Talk as much as you need.”
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𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 | Unfortunately, my tag list for this series has gotten too long, so I will not be adhering to any further requests to be included. I'm so terribly sorry, but the amount of tags has beyond reached its limit, and I think it's best to stop. I hope it's understandable. Nonetheless, thank you all for your kind support, I hope you guys continue to enjoy the series, and if you ever have any ideas as to what you'd like to see, I'd love to know!
@sierrahhh @harrysgothicbitch @niallerlover8022 @aunicornmademedoit @spring-picnics @sleepy-bunnie @eggo-segual @bambi-horror @aheadfullofsteverogers @sademoloser @freakymunson @princess-eddie @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @negativity4you @nope-thanks @allsortsedits @callingmrsbarnes @f0rgggg @hurricane-abigail @sweet-sunflower64
@redlovett @goldstars-to-all @eddiesguitarskills @goslytherin @sashaphantomhive @maxinehufflepuffprincess @emeritusemeritus @angel-upon @middle-of-the-earth @scarletwitchwhore @my-tearsricochet @ericasdumbworld @animechick555 @gewrgia-black @hookandchain @roseanddaggerlarry @prestinalove @sebismyhubby @maddsunn
@zoeymunson @corrcdedcoffin @sweetmariihs2 @thefemininemystiquee @monserat @findmeincorneliastreet @sheneedsrocknroll92 @silent-stories @batkin028 @btbabyy
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russellsppttemplates · 8 months
Text
He's going to be so loved (Pierre Gasly)
You're afraid your children won't have all the love they deserved
Note: english is not my first language. this is another long piece that is about a sensetive topic that I have hopefully depicted with the respect it deserves.
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: pregnancy, curse words, family issues (reader has cut ties with her family)
"Y/N, chérie, how is little man treating you?", Pascale asked once you opened the door, allowing her and Charlotte, one of your sisters in law, inside the house, "he's a kicker, that's for sure! But he's been good lately, usually just needs me to tell him once and he'll stick to just move around", you giggled helping them with their coats before getting together in the kitchen, "I'm finishing my breakfast, do you want something while I finish? Some biscuits, tea, coffee? Oh, Pierre also made this cake with me yesterday, I had a big craving for it and it turned out really good!", you offered, "I'll have some tea, please. And maybe some cake too, although if Pierre made it, I might start with a small piece and see how it goes from there", Charlotte chuckled as she helped you bring the plates to the table.
The initial plan was to get a few smaller things that you still needed to get, like muslin cloths and such things, but like any other time you had shopped with company, you ended up with way too many bags filled with baby things. When you got home, Pierre had already arrived back from work, meeting you at the door and helping you carry the bags up, "Mon amour, how was your day?", he asked, kissing your lips and grabbing some bags, "it was good, my feet are a bit sore, but I really enjoyed spending time with them!", you exclaimed, reaching the nursery and putting the bags on the floor, your arms opening sp you could hug your husband, "I kept telling them that, as far as I know, there's only one baby here, but they insisted on getting all of this!", you giggled, feeling his hands rub your bump, "Our family is growing and they're very excited, it's just one of the ways they show how happy they are and their support too", he said, kissing your forehead.
To anyone, that would be a simple comment and it would brush them as quickly as it was said. But for you, it stayed playing in loop in your mind. The reminders that you did not have your family by your side came and went since you decided to keep away from them, especially when it came to big dates or important moments, but recently it had been a constant thought.
Cutting ties with your family had been the best decision, there isn't a day that you regret what you did. Having said that, it was still something you wished you could have in different circumstances. To have your mother share her experiences, to show you things from when you were little, to have your father teaching you and setting you set up the nursery and tell you all about your family's customs through the years.
Pierre's family had been incredible like always. They knew just enough about what happened with your family and not only respected it but also supported you in any way they could, taking you under their wing like you were one of their own from the beggining. The pregnancy had been received with massive excitement from everyone, and they kept calling whenever they had the chance, wanting to know how you were and if there was anything they could do to help you and Pierre in this journey. But lately, it had been a bit of a handful dealing with your thoughts.
.
"Can you grab the bag, please?", Pierre asked once he parked the car, checking something on the car before exiting it and lacing your hands once he got out, locking it and heading to the front door of Charles' place.
They had invited you over for baby Hervé's shower, welcoming you inside while you looked around, "we have a specific chair for you so you can be comfy", Charles said as he pointed to his wife, "she ordered me to do it", he chuckled, "hey! You don't know what it is to carry a baby around! It's hard work, and we both need to rest!", she reasoned with her husband, hugging you the best way you could before she introduced you to the people you didn't know. While they had a lot of friends and family you already knew, Charles' in laws were there too and you hadn't yet met some of them. They congratulated you, easily chatting up about everything and anything while you ate the snacks and drinks being passed around.
Pierre felt his body get a little bit lighter. It wasn't like your demeanor had changed that much in comparison to the last few days, but you certainly looked comfortable and like you were enjoying yourself.
"There's something on your mind, and I have time while they decorate biscuits. So, spill it", Charles noted, sitting next to Pierre on one of the high stools, sipping from his drink while he looked at his bestfriend. "Does Y/N seem off to you? Or has she seemed off to you recently?", he wondered looking at his wife admiring her work of art in the blue powdered sugar icing.
"I mean, she's lost some of her energy, but that's normal at this stage. You can't expect that she is running around now", Charles reasoned, not understanding where he was going, "it's just, I think she's been a little crestfallen, quieter than usual lately, and she hasn't said anything to me in that regard, she's been very quiet. I've tried to get her to talk, but she never says much", Pierre slumped his shoulders, "you just have to take it day by day. It's a lot these days, I'm sure you feel it, too. And they feel it even more. Family and friends are a great help, but there are some things they have to deal with on their own and it's hard to juggle all of it. She'll come to you whenever she feels ready, trust me", Charles patted his back.
.
You put all the baby clothes you had washed and dried in the hamper, supporting it comfortably on your side as you walked up to the nursery. The room was coming along well, the crib was already finished, just needing to be done with the softest sheets your skin has ever felt, and the rest of the furniture had been assembled whenever you and Pierre found the time to do it. Setting the clothes on top of the dresser, you opened the respective drawers to allocate every piece, taking the time and effort of remembering who had gifted them to your baby boy. Charles and his wife got matching sets so that both of the boys could look alike, Pascale had gotten way too many pieces for you to keep track on, claiming she was so excited to be a grandma again that she couldn't help herself anytime she saw something cute and had to get it.
Without noticing, tears started falling from your eyes and into the small pieces of clothing, marking them and creating a strain on your breath. Breathing in this late stage of pregnancy was already difficult, and sobbing wasn't helping it. You carefully walked to the chair you had put in the room so you'd have somewhere to sit during the night, proving its usefulness now as you tried to manage your emotions.
Pierre came out of the bathroom after his shower, already dressed and towell in hand so he could take it to the laundry room when he heard movement in the nursery. He didn't expect to see you like how he found you, cheeks red and tear stained and a trembling lip while you looked up at the ceiling.
"Hey, amour, what's the matter? Are you in pain?", he walked, throwing the towell on the corridor and kneeling in front of you, holding your hand in his while the other brushed the hairs out of your eyes. "I'm not in pain, I'm okay", you gulped, "but I haven't been feeling good. And I've wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want to bother you, even though you always say I could never bother you, but I'm telling you now, I guess", you blurted, receiving an encouragement nod from your husband.
Sighing, you played with his fingers, "lately, it dawned on me that my family isn't around for this, for me or for baby Alexandre, for us", you began, "and seeing Charles and his wife and everyone for there for Hervé, it got me thinking even more like, everyone was there to see them! To see the mother to be, to support her and congratulate her. And I'm not saying this in a bad way, because I'm so happy that they have it. And I know we have that from your family, I'm not complaining about them either. Everyone has been lovely, but fuck, I won't have my family supporting me. I won't have my father checking up on his little girl after she gave birth or have my mother share her experiences because the thought of having to be in the same room as them chills my bones. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt still, because it does", you cried, the attempt of looking up to stop the tears from flowing failing as Pierre carefully wiped them.
"How long have you been feeling like this, mon ange?", Pierre asked, now holding your face in his hands, "a little while, and the shower just made it a bit stronger, I think. Fuck, I sound like an awful person, I'm sorry", you apologised, "hey, no need for that. It's okay to feel like this, you don't have to feel guilty about your feelings", your husband reasoned.
"It is the best decision to keep away from them, I wouldn't change it for the world. But it will only be me passing down our traditions, and letting him know how things used to be, our language, our customs", you sniffed, wiping your nose on your sleeve, "because I don't want him to not know. It is a part of me that I'm proud of and I'm not letting my parents take that from me too", you breathed out. Rubbing your hands, your husband looked for your eyes, "and we will make sure he knows. Him and his siblings if we are fortunate along the way. I know a few words myself, and I'll help with all the traditions. I'll make your recipes, even if they don't taste as good, I'll teach them about all the holidays you celebrate and that we will celebrate too and I'll support you in anything you decide to do, I promise", he stated, smiling in hope you'd mirror his, the corners of your lips lifting a little.
"I know they're your family, but I'm sure that our little one is going to be so so so loved, he's going to be doted on by everyone", Pierre pointed out, "and we will make sure we do everything we can for that. And you are going to tell me everytime things get too much, okay? I hate to see you like this", he asked, earning a nod from you, "now, how about we sort these clothes so we can finally decide on the outfit he's wearing for when he comes home?", your husband teased you, "your brother gave us this little set he found and I think that's the one, let me show you it", you said, getting up and waddling to the pile of clothes, happily showing you the choice and smiling as you watched your husband's excitement about it all. Your little boy was going to be so loved, and it didn't have to be from a blood relationship.
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idyllic-affections · 5 months
Text
the coldest of nights.
summary. bubu pharmacy is a safe space.
trigger & content warnings. implied family issues, crying, etc.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. baizhu & teen!reader. 0.3k words. they/them pronouns used for reader.
authors thoughts. i think baizhu would give good hugs. look at him. huggable. STILL DON'T LIKE WRITING FANFIC IN THIS FORMAT RRAAAHGHG 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 but it's okay for little posts like this.....
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baizhu's arms are tender when he holds you.
he knows when something is wrong or has gone wrong in your life, especially when you show up at bubu pharmacy late into the night even during winter when liyue's temperatures can drop below freezing solely because you know he'll still be awake. his instinctive response is to ask if you're suffering some kind of medical emergency that couldn't wait until a more suitable time (moreso for you than for him), but he knows better. the answer is always no.
(he hopes the answer will never be yes, but he does have the means to heal you if it were ever needed. he just... hopes he doesn't ever have to, that you don't ever have to suffer some kind of serious injury or condition.)
he knows that it probably isn't medically motivated when you come in late at night sniffling, rubbing your eyes a bit too hard in an attempt to rid them of the tears, chest heaving as if you'd been yelling or running a marathon—hell, maybe you had done both. yelled and then ran from one side of liyue to the other just to seek out his comfort, that is. it would not surprise him.
and he sighs. it isn't because of you in any way; it's moreso the tragedy of your circumstance that he often finds himself lamenting over.
...and, well. he also can't help but sigh because he knows it really isn't safe for you to be out alone at night. there are vicious people—humans, to be precise; not creatures of the abyss or other entities of the like (those threats are always handled by that elusive yaksha)—who would surely take advantage of the vulnerability of a weeping teenager making their way through liyue when most others are asleep. he'll lecture you about that later, though. the last thing you need from him in such a vulnerable moment is to be chided.
his fingertips are particularly gentle against your face as he pats your tears dry, softly inquiring about what led you here this time and listening closely to whatever you choose to share with him. he opens his arms in a wordless invite and is certain to hold you for as long as you need when—if—you do accept his offer.
bubu pharmacy is, and always will be, a safe space. baizhu will always do his best to ensure that you know that.
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
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vhagarlovebot · 11 months
Text
content warnings: hurt/comfort.
note: hello, hello ! here’s another one of the works i posted on my old blog—not my favorite but i thought about sharing it either way. i edited it the best i could, so you’re probably still going to see some very poor grammar and it’s because i’d just started writing in english and because of that it is completely normal for me to still have problems writing in a language that isn’t mine. i really hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.
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it’s past midnight when you decide to go to aemond’s chambers, he had agreed to come to yours a few hours before but apparently forgot. in other circumstances you won’t mind, but you’ve missed him all day. seeing him walk through the corridors without being able to touch his hand or simply smile at him, afraid someone would say something that will get you in trouble.
there’s no one in sight as you quickly cross the hallways, relaxing when you’re in front of his door. there’s light coming from under it, so you know he’s awake.
when you open the big doors, you find him sitting at the foot of the bed only with his pants on. “hi.” you whisper when a minute has passed and he hasn’t turn around or acknowledged your presence. “i was waiting for you.” you walk slowly towards him, suddenly worried.
“you didn’t think that maybe i didn’t want to go?” his voice is low and hoarse, still looking at the floor.
you immediately stop after hearing that, not really hurt by his words, you know he doesn’t mean them. there might be something else bothering him, and you know what it is the second he stretches and grunts, his head hanging down.
“oh, love.” you whine, almost running to him. you kneel in front of him, his eyes hidden behind his long, silver hair. you brush it out of his face, finally meeting that breathtaking violet eye. “hello, my prince.”
“‘m sorry.” aemond says with a small and tired smile. he caresses your cheek with his thumb, eye never leaving yours. “i didn’t meant to talk to you like that.”
“mmh, i know.” you see how tired he is just by looking at his face, he can barely keep his eye open. he is always doing too much, but apparently that’s never enough to his family. “you need to rest. would you like a massage? does that sounds good?” you stand up, moving your face closer to his so you can kiss his forehead.
you don’t wait for his answer, already climbing on the bed and sitting behind him, legs on either side of his body. you stare at his back for a few seconds, just seeing how delicate and smooth his skin looks like… how fragile aemond targaryen really is.
you gently massage his shoulders and back, spending a little more time in those places that make him shudder, loving the way he leans into your touch. since you’ve known him, aemond’s not one to ask for help, so this moment means a lot to you.
you know aemond hides a lot of things, some big ones, but at this point in life you don’t care what those things are; you’d do anything for him. anything if that means you can spend the rest of your life by his side.
“you’re an angel.” at first you think you heard him wrong, but he says it again and your heart skips a beat.
you blush, kissing his shoulder blades. “i think that’s you.”
“no, really, you’re always so kind to me and i’m… i’m a monster.” you stop what you’re doing, lifting his chin up and turning his head so he can look at you. “you’re not a monster,” you make sure to emphasize each word. “and you never will be, you hear me? no matter how many times you say that about yourself, i'm always going to be here to remind you of it.” aemond stares intensely at you, smile on his face that says everything you need to know without actually saying it.
"you’re all i care about." he leans in to kiss you and you swear the world stops the moment your lips meet. his lips are gentle and soft against yours, his touch on your cheek grounding you.
when you pull away, his violet eye flutters open. "hi." he whispers, a drunken smile stealing your heart.
"come here." you move to lie down against the pillows, and he follows lying down next to you, his back to your chest. aemond is so much larger than you, so you try to hug him against your chest, pressing kisses against his forehead. and he doesn't need to ask for you to start stroking his hair, he also doesn’t need to say how safe he feels in your arms.
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refiwrites · 1 year
Note
Can you do Leon Kennedy with 4,5,7 of the forced proximity thing you reblogged?
yes i can!! i hope you enjoy! ❤️ i altered the prompts a bit to fit but its still the same!
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leon kennedy x gn! reader
wc: 0.6k
prompts: 4. going crazy when you smell their cologne. 5. "you're so red, love." "oh, then why is your heart beating fast, [name]?" 7. locked up in a room together
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Things happened too fast, before you even know what's going on, you were slammed inside of- what you could guess- a cramped storage room.
Your back hits the wall, in between you were shelves while Leon was towering in front of you with his arm resting just above your head, the door behind being shut by him moments earlier.
The two of you were exploring an abandoned building, trying to find a faster way to get to where you needed to be for the mission. The smell of the building left your nose itchy as dust seemed to gather around you while walking around.
But now, Leon's scent smacked you harder than ever. Sure you might be guilty of imagining being this close with him, still, you never expected this to happen any sooner and in this circumstance.
"There's too many, figured we wait them out." He spoke lowly enough for you to hear as he straightened himself, backing and giving you a slightly fair distance between the two of you.
You could hear the endless groans from outside, some slowly fading followed by another loud snarling then repeating. Truly, you tried to focus anywhere rather than on him. Leon.
But his scent was making it too difficult as it occupied the room, it was... Intoxicating to say the least.
It's when you remembered that you hadn't responded to Leon yet and was avoiding his gaze, eyes glued to the gallon of expired gallon of disinfectant. Rereading its contents.
"Uh, yeah.. Okay." You swallowed, blinking and finally looking at him.
Leon was an observer, and he could tell how something was making you uneasy. "You okay?" He asked.
The last thing you wanted was him noticing that you were uncomfortable when you weren't even the slightest, his scent was driving you crazy you just wanted to snuggle up into him, but you couldn't. Hell, you didn’t even know if he had felt the same way.
"I'm okay, it's just..." You breathed in, him clouding your brain as you closed your eyes, god damn it you wanted to be free from this predicament already but then again, a part of you had wanted to be selfish, wishing to be stuck like this with him a few more minutes.
Leon watched you, scanning. Could it be that it had something to do with him? He reaches a hand out, grabbing your arm in a caring manner, tugging you closer, hoping to ground you from whatever what was happening with you.
Your eyes opened as you felt him grasp your arm then tugging you close. "Again, are you okay?"
"I am, I am... why do you have to smell so good..." You spoke even before thinking, uttering the last part out loud.
Leon pauses, his grip on you faltering at the last phrase, sure he'd heard that before but it was different coming from you. "Is that it?"
You look up at him to see a sly smirk tugging on the edge of his lips. "Don't- Leon just forget I said anything." You said but alas, embarrassment had already swallowed you whole.
Leon could make out the dark shade on your cheeks and how warm you've gotten. "You're so red." He noted, finding it cute at how you were avoiding his gaze again.
"I'm not, cut it out Leon." You tried moving away, his hand falling down to your wrist.
For Leon, one of the pad of his fingers landed on your pulse point, and he could just feel how fast your heart was racing, if only you knew his heart was doing the same thing until now.
"Then why is your heart beating fast, (Y/N)?" He questioned, leaning a little too dangerously close to your face. Leon was a little too eager to risk it all.
You stared at him confused on how he was able to figure that out, when your eyes darted to his hand wrapped around your wrist, feeling your pulse. Yet you did nothing to push his hand, or him, away.
"You really want to find out, Kennedy?"
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reiderwriter · 7 months
Text
Unlovable
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reider Warnings: angst, canon death, cheating, implied infidelity, whump, angst, spoilers for Season 8 of Criminal Minds, mentions of shooting/ murder/ suicide/ general case facts. Summary: A stalking case brings back some bad memories for the BAU, but as the newbie, you're not sure why until you start recalling past case files you've read through. A/N: I wrote this as part of @tobias-hankel 's Pre-Whumptober Challenge, so it's short and sweet because I'm not great at angst, but it was a great challenge! I think this will probably be my last fic that mentions Maeve for at least a while because I'm getting a bit bored of writing around her lol, but let me know what you think with a like, comment, reblog, or message in my inbox!
It had been a few months since you’d joined the team, and you’d really thought you’d settled in well. After all, you’d worked on enough of their paperwork in your prior desk job to think you had a good grasp of everyone on the team’s working styles.
Until this case. They’d all been tense since the stalking case was called in, and you couldn’t figure out why. A girl had been taken captive by her stalker, whose identity had been so far unknown to the police department. As you sat talking through the possible suspects, you’d realized suddenly that you were the newcomer, an outsider in the team.
“Why is everyone so tense, we’ve worked cases like this one before, we can do this and save her.” You were hopeful of course, looking around the room to see if anyone else would agree.
“Each case is different, Y/N, you know that.” Morgan was the only one to reply, the others shooting careful glances around the room.
“But everyone is so tense for this one specifically, and I just don’t get it.”
“You read our case files, right?” Reid spoke up from the other side of the room. He’d been particularly tense on this one, and it was really his attitude that was worrying you the most. You’d become fast friends with him when you joined the team, and he was always happy and engaging with you. But there was something about this case that made him cold and distant and it was really rubbing you the wrong way.
“Yeah, I read all of them, but I don’t have an eidetic memory, so please, catch me up.”
“Maeve Donovan, does that ring a bell?” He almost spat the words out, but you were so thankful that he was even talking to you that you responded enthusiastically.
“Oh, of course, I read that case file. She was killed by her stalker, right? But we can’t base every case off our bad experiences, especially since that case had unforeseen circumstances.”
“Y/N,” Morgan gently warned you, but you were deaf to him as your eyes locked on Reid.
“Unforeseen circumstances?”
“She engaged in a relationship with an FBI Agent to help prioritize her case despite the fiance she had, which made her hard to track down to help. And her stalker was experiencing some serious delusions so you couldn’t stop her from killing both of them, but that’s a single case, and you’ve all worked at least ten other stalking cases in the past.
The air was sucked out of the room as Spencer stormed out, not bothering to tell you where you’d gone wrong. JJ trailed behind after him, going to pick up the pieces as the rest of them stared at you pityingly.
“Did I- Did I say something wrong?” You asked, but most of them just shook their heads and walked out.
“The agent she was dating was Reid. He offered to die instead of her, but that set her stalker off and that’s why she killed the both of them.” With each of Morgan’s words, you felt your heart drop.
“I didn’t-” You started but he cut you off with a pat on your shoulder.
“None of us were the greatest fans of Maeve after our investigation, but you weren’t here after she died. The kid was in pieces, and he still can’t really talk about it without some of those emotions creeping back in. Just… be a bit more understanding.”
You spend the rest of the case trying to apologize to Reid, but he avoids you like the plague, frustrating you to no end. You corner him one night on the way to his room, but he snaps at you with such violence you have to turn and run away before you let yourself cry in front of him.
Your resentment for Maeve grows as you watch him work though, seeing him become an empty shell of a man as he gets lost in his memory trying to save the new victim. You’re angry that she died, angry that she put him in that position, angry that no one forced him off the case, that no one foresaw the negative effect that this would have on him when it ended badly. You’re angry that she loved him first because your heart aches without his company.
Thankfully, the case ends well, and you manage to save the girl who has been abducted. You don’t even want to think about what that would mean for Reid, having to see the dead body of another girl knowing he couldn’t save them either. He practically runs off the jet when you land back at Quantico as you try, once again, to apologize.
Penelope comforts you at your desk as you cry, desperate to make things right. She’s the one who slips you his address, and not even an hour later, you feel like a shell of a person driving directly there, not stopping to worry about whether he’ll even see you.
When he opens the door, he doesn’t look surprised to see you. He doesn’t look anything at all, emotionally drained from the last week. You thought you would apologize right then and there, and leave, but he turns back into his apartment and you have to follow him in, saying nothing as he sets himself beside a chessboard again.
“Spencer…” you start, but you have to stop to swallow the lump forming in your throat. “I didn’t know you were the agent. I wouldn’t have said what I did had I known.”
“Would you still think it?” He asked sharply, and you can feel the anger in his voice. He’s trying to control it, but he’s never been the best at masking his emotions with his team members.
“Spencer, please, I’m trying to apologize.”
“Would you have looked at me with pitying eyes? The FBI Agent who couldn’t even save his girlfriend from a stalker. The girlfriend who probably didn’t even love him either because what is there to love about-”
“Spencer! Stop putting words in my mouth.” Your tone is harsh but it gets him to finally look up at you. His tone was angry, but his eyes were all despair, shining with tears as he tried, so hard, to pull himself together. He’s failing.
“Why am I so unlovable? What about me is so difficult to love?” Your heart breaks at his words. The way he says it sounds like he is genuinely searching for an answer, his eyes darting between your own as his body sinks in on itself, and you sink with him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into you.
“Nothing. Nothing, Spencer, you are so loved. You need to know that I love you, that we all love you, Spencer.” Your voice breaks a little at your confession, as you suddenly realize how true those words are.
“But she still died. I had to have done something wrong, but I play it back again in my head, every conversation and-” he breaks down in sobs then, his entire body shaking with the weight of his grief. The wound isn’t new but it runs deep, and you quietly sob beside him, knowing no matter how much you love him it won’t be enough to replace the love he lost with her.
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