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#asmodeus obey me
leannamsinsomnia · 8 minutes ago
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Ok, it can't just be me.
SPOILERS:
Who else gets a "shady vibe" from this "butcher" man, like he pops up every other lesson. He has to be important some how.... RIGHT?!?!
Like, something tells me he's not an actual butcher, that he is something more, someone who is observing us from the sidelines, and it's kinda weird. IDK, but I call SUS!!!!🤷‍♀️🤨🤔😤
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decaffeinated-demons · an hour ago
What about the brothers making odd noises? Like chirps and trills and purring or yowling? Upset brothers hissing or clicking?
More excuses to be a nerd about animals hella hella ҉*\( ‘ ω ’ )/*҉
General Headcanons
Demons have an entirely wordless vocal burst language. Hissing, growling, creaking, chirping- if it's a noise, demons can and will probably use it in conjecture with actual words to get their meaning across more effectively. Hell, there are a few instances of demons being heard gekkering. Yes it's a word, yes the noise sounds as stupid as its name does, and yes, demons can accidentally make themselves look like the most nonthreatening things on the planet if they let it slip at an inopportune time. (obligatory joke: yes, it's what the fox said)
Trilling, chirping, humming, and purring is often used around humans- it's a subconscious instinct to make themselves seem less threatening to approach until it's too late- especially with dealmakers.
A snarling, yowling, howling, caterwauling, or screeching demon is a demon that's challenging and/or fighting. It's wise for humans to keep their heads down if the noise is close, or if it's at a distance, put more space between yourself and the demons. Their fights get ugly.
If a demon is growling, rumbling, bellowing (the crocodile kind), or hissing it's a good sign that you're doing something they don't like- this is your one and only warning. These are all intimidation noises.
Cackling is common for demons when they're in high-adrenaline situations. If you hear what sounds like a hyena or a kookaburra, in the Devildom, it's likely a demon that's either excited or stressed out.
Also gekkering. They'll do that when excited or stressed too- seriously go look up this noise it's so dumb and I love it.
Specific Headcanons
Lucifer will trill and hum in his sleep occasionally. The contrasting higher, gentle trills versus the nearly-below-human-hearing hums are an odd pattern that takes some getting used to. With rare outlying exceptions, these are the only times he'll use the non-vocabular half of demon language. (The exception is when he's pissed enough to lose control- he'll click like a whale or crepitate, which is the noise cicadas make. If you hear him doing this, best hope to Diavolo that you aren't his target)
Mammon is the most expressive and has a whole fuckin menagerie of different noises. He'll purr, cackle, chirp, rumble, hum, croon, screech- almost half the noises the guy makes aren't even words. Half the noises he makes you're pretty sure don't even have names Thanks to how expressive he is, though, you're able to learn what each sound means pretty quickly, regardless of whether or not you actually know what to call them.
Mammon has a REALLY bad habit of cackling when he's stealing- it's part of why he gets caught so often. If you hear a hyena, check your belongings and bring a disciplinary spray bottle.
Levi will bellow and hiss just like an crocodile or caiman- especially when he's gaming.
You know those galaga-laser noises that baby crocodiles do? LEVI DOES THAT IN IN HIS SLEEP IF HE'S CUDDLING SOMETHING.
Satan picked up a lot of habits from his brothers during his formative years, when he was first trying to become more that just pure wrath. As such, he has nearly as wide a range as Mammon has, but isn't as expressive with them. He's a lot more reserved and picky about who hears him vocalize- but when he does, he is very straightforward and obvious.
Satan purrs when you run your fingers through his hair.
Asmo trills and chirps almost INCESSANTLY. He'll also coo and croon, and for special partners, you might even hear him purr
If his partner is rough you'll also hear him scream and his screams are far less cute than his other noises. Shut the fuck up Asmo no one wants to hear your fuck screams.
If he's sleeping, and dreaming about something OTHER than sex, he'll 'go-away'. He'll make the same sound go-away birds make. It's stupid and adorable in equal measures.
Beel and Belphie rumble and hum near constantly when they're around each other. It's like subconscious vibe city with these two. Belphie's rumble is surprisingly deep and near matches his twin's, so whenever you hang out, you're just gonna have to learn to tune out the low noise that permeates the air whenever they're together.
Beel hums in his sleep A LOT, and he does it so much you can feel the damn noise through his body.
Belphie will be dead silent when asleep, and annoying when he's awake, but if you catch him when he's mad...
Well, have you ever heard a barn owl's screech? Take that, give it the echo effect you'd hear from a sound software with a cheesy "demon setting", then throw it through some speakers.
Belphie's screeching can and fucking will cause hearing damage if you're too close.
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oh-boy-me · 2 hours ago
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Obey Me Devilgram Posts and Comments: Just Us Two/Like a Dame
Oops I’m on break so I forgot that this wasn’t also on break lol
We start 2021 with a set that wasn’t particularly hard but was a little frustrating, which made my procrastination worse than it could have been.
But it’s out now!  And we have only a little over 2 weeks before we’re caught up!
日本語は私の第三言語ので、時々間違えます。日本語話者、間違いを見たら教えてください。 (Japanese is my third language, so I make mistakes sometimes.  Japanese speakers, if you see a mistake, please tell me!)
And as always, we have the #devilgram rush tag and there’s a full transcript below the cut.
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Makeup Devils
Simeon: I’m really looking forward to it!
Barbatos: It’s nice and professional
Luke: …...it suits you
Solomon: Guess sneak shots are a no go
#Makeup #Dame
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Tying Together(1)
Mammon: I feel you on gettin’ worried ‘bout that
Diavolo: Well then, should I do the last one?
Lucifer: Don’t misuse those
Asmo: I wanted to join in too!
#Hair #Tying
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Dame Challenge
Mammon: He’s a guy who’d never do stuff for free
Satan: I’m kind of looking forward to it
Diavolo: Wonderful!
Simeon: I want the pictures too
#Escape #Dame
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Seek the Legendary Dame
Lucifer: Dame Barbatos was truly wonderful
Beel: I wanted to see it
Levi: If you stream it as a how-to video it’d probably go viral
Satan: It really is a useful reference
#Legend #Dame
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Staying Home Together
Solomon: You’re in the human world?(2)
Levi: Cold things are best on cold days
Satan: Dry off well
Asmo: It being just the two of you is uuuunfaaaairrrr
#StayingHome #Rain
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Rain, a Fireplace, and Simeon
Solomon: Simeon looks like he’s enjoying himself
Luke: Thanks for doing the shopping!
Mammon: You’re relaxin’ too much
Barbatos: Cocoa on a cold day is special
#Bath #Rain
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Home Camping
Solomon: It’s a good thing to take it easy
Diavolo: That looks fun!
Levi: Whoa!  This is like this one god-tier anime!(3)
Lucifer: I’ll go back after killing some time
#Camping #Rain
1. Idk if this was intentional, but this ended up kind of a double meaning!  結ぶ means “to tie”, in a way that can both mean “fasten with a material” (such as tying hair with a ribbon) and “to unite”. 2. I’m not sure where the localized translation came from.  Maybe I mistranslated it, but いる is used for living things, but all they're talking about in this part is how Mammon doesn’t have any plans. 3. Levi uses the prefix 神, which alone means “god”, but before something else takes on the meaning of “godly” or “godlike”.  Is there a real god-tier anime like this?  I’m not sure, so let me know!
メイクアップデビルズ
シメオン:それは楽しみだ! バルバトス:本格的でいいですね ルーク:……似合うじゃん ソロモン:隠し撮りはダメだろ #メイク #デイム
結び合い
マモン:気づかっちまう気持ちはわかる ディアボロ:じゃあ最後は私がやろうかな ルシファー:乱用するなよ アスモ:ぼくもまざりたかった! #髮 #結ぶ
デイムチャレンジ
マモン:タダではやりそうにないやつだよな サタン:少し楽しみだな ディアボロ:素晴らしい! シメオン:俺も写真欲しいな #逃走 #デイム
伝説のデイムを求めて
ルシファー:バルバトスのデイムは本当に凄かった ベール:見てみたかった レヴィ:やり方を動画で配信したらバズりそう サタン:本当に参考になるな #伝説 #デイム
2人きりのお留守番
ソロモン:人間界にいるのか? レヴィ:寒い日に冷たい物は最高 サタン:ちゃんと乾かしておけよ アスモ:2人きりでずーるーいー #留守番 #雨
雨と暖炉とシメオン
ソロモン:シメオンが楽しそうだ ルーク:買い物ありがとう! マモン:くつろぎすぎだろ バルバトス:寒い日のココアは格別ですね #お風呂 #雨
おうちキャンプ
ソロモン:のんびりするのは良いことだ ディアボロ:それは楽しそうだね! レヴィ:ヤバイ!某神アニメみたい! ルシファー:俺は時間を潰してから戻る #キャンプ #雨
面白いイベントだったね
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cloudsofclan · 2 hours ago
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I wanna dance with asmo yeah in my platform shoes yeah (I may or may not be drunk)
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lexsssu · 2 hours ago
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Fᥣoofყ (Lᥱvιᥲthᥲᥒ & Asmodᥱᥙs)
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I’ve never done these before but my request is how Levi and Asmo would react to MC being overweight with low self-esteem both as friends and eventually if they ended up dating? Like how do they handle MC being down on themselves about their weight.
Requester: Anonymous
Ao3 ver.
This is actually an old request that’s been done and posted since last year on Ao3, but I only got to posting it here now  (⌒_⌒;) At the time I still wasn’t used to writing HCs so this probs isn’t as nice as my newer works, but I do hope y’all still like it anyway  (/▿\ )
Leviathan
King of Wishful Thinking Low Self-Esteem
Already sees himself as one of the lowest of the low though certainly not as low as Mammon
He never really thought your weight was a problem or even remotely detrimental to his view of you. Rather, your personality was already stellar and a 10/10 for him, because who’d willingly associate with an icky otaku anyway?
When he found out that your weight was actually a source of shame and embarrassment for you, he can’t help but be shookt
You were so nice to everyone no matter how they looked and even acted, so why weren’t you nice to yourself about your own?
“Hey uhhh...This might not seem much coming from someone like me, but you’re okay the way you are. I-I mean, we’re all 3D so of course we’re not as perfect looking as 2D people so umm...yeah…”
Save this poor baby he doesn’t know how to comfort people, but he’s trying his best
Would probably make an effort to find anime/games/manga that feature plus-sized characters in a good light and show them to you so you can enjoy them together
Levi already feels so blessed every single day he wakes up to the fact that you’re dating him of all demons that reassuring you whenever you get insecure about your body was a job he took very seriously
Awkward and blushy hugs/cuddles galore from this boy whenever you’re feeling particularly down about yourself
“When I said I love you, I meant ALL of you. Every curve and roll you have, I love that because that’s what makes you, YOU. I’m not perfect and you told me that’s okay.”
“This time I’m telling you that you don’t have to be perfect too because in my eyes you already are”
Levi to you: Oh dear oh dear. Gorgeous
Levi to himself: You fucking donkey!!!
Asmodeus
“What do you mean you’re too fat to ever wear something like this? Honey, you’re gonna come out of that changing room in this outfit or I’ll be the one to strip you down and get you into it”
Just kidding.
He’s not that brazen and insensitive to really go through with something like that, but he’s just trying to nudge you to try things out of your comfort zone when your weight isn’t as much of a problem as you think it is
Will slowly try to get you to accept your own body by initiating skinship little by little
From hugging your arm, holding your hand, to even wrapping his arms around your plush waist
Asmo will make you see that your body is beautiful and is just as worthy of love as any other person
“While physical appearance is very important, that’s not all there is to being beautiful, you know? I’ve met countless beautiful people in my life and yet none of them can ever hold a candle to how beautiful you are on the inside”
To the you who didn’t immediately fall for his looks and charm, to the you that looked and treated him as just Asmo and didn’t expect or ask anything from him…
You are the most beautiful being in his world
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evierena · 2 hours ago
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Introducing... myself? With Obey Me templates.
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I used Picrew images because I can draw for my life.
And now with this fun templates I found in fb:
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Here are the blank versions in case you want to do your own:
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@wrathandgreed @mammonprotectionsquad @asmodeusbby @luciferbabie @beelsbreakfast @obeythebutler and anyone who would like to join ^=^
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breadb · 5 hours ago
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I am officially an Asmo simp.
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obey-me-stuffs · 5 hours ago
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Headcannon- Obey Me Brothers Ignoring Mc Gn!Mc
Sorry bros I cant do angst, it gon be fluffy!
Lucifer
It isn't very common to receive the silent treatment from Lucifer.
Usually if he is upset with you he will make it very clear with words, or body language.
You’d have to do something more heartbreaking than frustrating.
One of the worst things you can do is start treating him in private like you do in public.
If you stop giving him those moments where he can let his guard down, and enjoy the touch hes been craving all day.
Basically if you want to treat him like a stuck up demon(More stuck up than usual at least), then hes going to act like it until you stop. 
If you want him to stop ignoring you your going to have to drag him away from his work to apologize.
Give him a genuine apology, and offer up some cuddles.
“I suppose i could forgive you for a price... Perhaps a kiss?”
Mammon
If Mammon gives you the silent treatment you are in the wrong.
Mammon is always talkative and clingy, so his sudden absence is unnerving to not only you, but the rest of the household as well.
Mammon hates being ignored, so he wont be ignoring you unless you've done something genuinely wrong.
Perhaps you didn't defend him when his brothers insulted him on a touchy, and then ignored his attempts to show you that it hurt his feelings.
God forbid you joined the ridiculing...
If Mammon has gotten the the point of ignoring you its gonna take more than “Sorry” to get him to forgive you.
Make sure you know what hes mad about, then make a heartfelt apology.
You could get him a gift, but nothing that will make him feel like your trying to buy him back.
“Alright... Ill forgive ya, Just don’t do it again k’?”
Leviathan
Levi will probably end up giving you the silent treatment many times throughout your relationship.
He can get very pouty when hes feeling jealous of you or the people around you.
If he’s ignoring you its probably because you were hanging out with someone, and he got jealous that it wasn't him.
Levi knows that its a bit ridiculous to spend less time with you because he couldn’t spend time with you, but his logic isn't the best when hes upset.
The best thing to do is coax him into letting you into his room, and then reassuring him that you love him the most.
Try to distract him with games, and pet him hair or tail.
At first he will try to avoid your touches, but once hes a bit less insecure he will melt against your hands.
“Stupid normie... What do they have that I don’t!? Hm..? Oh yeah we can play Minecraft I guess...”
Satan
Uh oh.
Y’know I heard Antarctica is nice this time of year...
Angry Satan is a scary Satan, but a Satan that’s quiet and angry...
That shits terrifying.
He gives off this constant aura of dread where ever he goes.
No one dares approach him for anything that isn't necessary, and that includes Lucifer.
Whatever you did was bad enough to piss him off whilst also prolonging his explosion.
You can do two things apologize, or fail to apologize, and you don’t want the latter.
Its important to be cautious when handling Satan in this state.
Once you (finally) get him alone after he’s avoided you like the plague, try making some calming tea for you both, and talking out whatever seems to have upset him.
Try not to appear too tense or relaxed.
“Its not often someone can upset me like this... but its not often that someone try’s to make up for it either. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt just this once.”
Asmodeus
How’d you do that?
Asmo is always all over you, and honestly his brothers are curious about how they could do it too.
The most likely scenario is that you had been (Intentionally or not) Neglecting him.
Asmo thrives off of attention, and if you had been giving all of your attention to someone or something else, then he will not be pleased.
He may as well punish you, by limiting your time with his perfect face.
getting him to forgive you will be hard...well not really.
Just give him some attention.
Wait in his room while hes out, and make sure to pamper him when he gets back.
give him a night of fun, or if you want a more family friendly route just give him lots of cuddles.
“Oh Doll! You missed me so much you had to wait in my room? Y’know you could have come back sooner!”
Huh look at that.. My ability to do angst came back :)
Beelzebub
It wont be hard to tell that Beel is trying to ignore you.
It wont be hard to notice, and even his brothers will see him avoiding your gaze.
Your attempts to confront him will be met with quick answers, and excuses to leave as soon as possible.
Beel with rush to finish meals just to leave the room quicker.
Eventually it will that to point where the others will become worried and ask whats going on between you two.
At this point your key to forgiveness is Belphie.
Belphie wont hesitate to help for the sheer reason that hes very worried about his twin.
Belphie will help you trap Beel in the twins room, and you both question him until he gives in.
It turns out that Beel had bee getting nightmares where he killed you.
Beel was aware of how strong he was, and seeing that you were so physically weak made him paranoid that he would hurt you.
It will take a while for him to readjust to being around you again, but he will eventuly.
“I just really dont want to loose you too...”
Aw my angst is gone...
Belphegor
At first you wont even notice that Belphie’s ignoring you.
Its easy to believe that hes just sleeping in a bit more than usually.
However you do catch him glaring at you during dinner, but he away when you see him.
Belphie could start ignoring you over about anything.
Sometimes he does it just to see your reaction, and sometimes he’s just in a bad mood, and doesn't want cheering up.
You will however end up confronting him.
Belphie isn't really looking for a verbal apology if you upset him.
He really just wants to know that you are sorry, and if you can portray that without words he will be much more willing to forgive you.
Sneek into bed with him, and cuddle until he wakes up to find you next to him.
“Yeah yeah... I forgive you, now go back to seep.”
I really wish I knew how to open comments :( I tryed some things so please if the comment section is available type a g or something so i know it is. 
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diadiarevolution · 5 hours ago
Conversation
Leviathan: Oh! You're a fellow cosplay fan too?
Asmodeus: No. I'm a fan of draining simps and their anime boners of their expendable cash.
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✨I have a Ko-Fi!✨
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Please click the link provided to help support me as a writer! Small donations start at $3 USD.
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*NSFW Story Feat. Your OC: I will do a story of your choosing but will not include special kinks, if you wish for that option please select the option including such. This is also a SHORT STORY, meaning no more than 1000 words!
*SFW Story Feat. Your OC: This is also a SHORT STORY, meaning no more than 1000 words!
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*Character Interactions are NOT RP, just something simple like giving them a flower or a simple love letter. (SFW ONLY)
*Torture a simp is where you torture a friend with their simp! Pick the simp that kills them the most and tell me a little about them and what they want. If this is a surprise, do let me know! Unleash any and all torture to them! (Can be SFW or NSFW)
What the guidelines?
Please check the Ko-Fi commissions tab(s) for details!
How many Commissions are Open as of now?
Five for each type. Because I’m busy as of now I’ll work hard to get them completed in between my busy life. Will announce if I leave for vacation over summer holiday.
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devildomqueen · 7 hours ago
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Obey Me As Tumblr #29
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Satan: Folks, I’m just gonna say. I don’t think it rains for long enough periods of time. It rains hard, it sounds good, I’m comfortable inside, but within 5 minutes the jig is up. The dream is over. I think it should rain for longer periods of time than it presently does.
Belphegor: A frog made this post.
Mammon: The frog is right
Satan: Shower thoughts: if 666 is evil, then 25.806975801127 is the root of all evil.
Mammon: Do you have a fucking calculator in your shower?
Simeon: When a person dies and no one will miss them, the mourning is assigned to a random human. This is why you sometimes just feel sad.
Belphegor: From now on if anyone asks me why i am randomly sad...instead of saying “I don’t know” or something I’m going to look them dead straight in the eyes and say “I’ve been assigned to mourn the death of a stranger” and just walk away
Mammon: Holy shit
Beelzebub: Good to know there’s a worthwhile reason behind it
Diavolo: I use hun not hon because you are not my honey, you are my fierce warrior
Asmodeus: This was surprisingly uplifting
Leviathan: It’s only a matter of time before someone uses a drone to kidnap a child
Mammon: Reverse stork
Solomon:
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BEES TO MY CAR
I SPILLED
ALL OVER MY CAR
BEES ARE
INSIDE OF MY CAR
THEY COULD KILL ME
IM ALLERGIC TO BEES
Belphegor: I CANNOT stop laughing
Belphegor: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver
Beelzebub: When it bounces perfectly in the corner I experience a thought
Barbatos: You are the owner of a magic backpack; every morning you stick your hand in and it contains exactly what you need for the day. One morning it contains a gun.
Satan: But isn’t this the plot of Dora the Explorer
Diavolo: Swiper ain’t swiping no more
Luke: Yeah well I think dragons suck
Leviathan: I will kick your ass so hard your vertebrae will pop out of your mouth like a pez dispenser
Asmodeus: Who the fuck genuinely enjoys the taste of sour candy
Who the fuck says “I’m going to eat this sugary sweet coated in pain salt and I’m gonna fucking like it”
Satan: Me.
Beelzebub: Feed Me The Pain Salt
Lucifer: If my eye isn’t twitching it’s not sour enough
Mammon: F is got friends who do stuff without you
Belphegor: U is for uninvited
Solomon: C is for clinging onto hope that you won’t keep getting forgotten
Beelzebub: K is for Krispy Kreme yum
Mammon: This is not what I wanted this post to turn out like
Leviathan: One time I got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me
Satan: DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
Leviathan: “Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning” is literally just the human version of “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”
Asmodeus: What have you done
Belphegor: If I ever died I am going to haunt my school. You’re an asshole? I am going to step on the back of your shoes the entire day. I’ll randomly open and close lockers. I’ll go on the intercom and just make breathing noises. Pull the fire alarm during the finals. Throw a book at someone every time they do/say something stupid. I would be an awesome ghost.
Diavolo: “If I ever died”
Belphegor: TODAY IN CLASS THIS CHICK WAS PASSING OUT A PACKET AND SHE JUST THREW MINE AT ME AND I SAID “Yo don’t fucking throw that shit at me like I’m a stripper.” AND EVERYONE AROUND ME JUST STARED AT ME AND I REALIZED THAT ITS BC THATS THE FIRST THING IVE SAID IN CLASS SINCE I CAME TO THIS SCHOOL AND JFC
Barbatos: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Cause though hast NO CLASS
Lucifer: Oh my gosh
Leviathan: Sitting on and touching warm rocks......now that’s the good stuff......
Mammon: Are you... a reptile?
Leviathan: What are you a cop? Mind your business
Mammon: (Puts honey in my tea) hell yeah get in that leaf juice you sexy sexy bee juice
Barbatos: Do you take constructive criticism on your posts?
Mammon: I absolutely fucking do not
Satan: Hands down the funniest thing I ever heard at college was overhearing the following sentanced at a conference
“I asked him what his pronouns were and he said, ‘Uh, PhD’”
Asmodeus: You will refer to me as DOCTOR and DOCTOR alone
Mammon: I hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and the test is like
If I throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can Pedro buy with one human soul?
Belphegor: I’ve never seen a more accurate post explaining math tests
Belphegor: *doesn’t show affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
*shows affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
Leviathan: *exists* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
Satan: Drove my first riding lawn mower today! I’d love to say I also mowed my lawn but as it turns out, of you down lower the blade, you’re just driving circles around your house for two and a half hours for no reason! What a day!
Barbatos: For someone who’s 70% water you don’t look very refreshing
Mammon: BURNNN
Satan: Water cannot be burned
Asmodeus: EVAPORATEEE
Satan: You know what’s really odd?
Satan: Number not divisible by 2
Solomon: That joke was so bad I can’t even
Diavolo: Cannibal — someone who is fed up with people
Luke: YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR THAT PUN
Barbatos: What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?
Barbatos: 2 Na
Asmodeus: I actually want to cry
Solomon: What are the strongest days of the week?
Solomon: Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays
Solomon: Stop unfollowing me
MC: What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
Lucifer: What
MC: Mount Rushmore
Lucifer: Get out
Mammon: What do you call a snake that’s exactly 3.14 feet long?
Mammon: A πthon
Satan: I want this on my tombstone
Satan: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today...it went ok
Belphegor: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium...omg
Diavolo: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was like “NO”
Barbatos: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins
Asmodeus: Looks like someone’s a HO
Solomon: NaBrO
Lucifer: I’m done with all of you
Simeon: Where did Noah keep his bees?
Simeon: IN THE ARK HIVES
Lucifer: get the fuck away from me right now
Diavolo: It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe and daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame
MC: Don’t fuck me up like this
Mammon: Why do wizards and mages and shit in stuff always have to use a fucking stick or staff to do magic. What’s so special about a goddamn tree bone
Solomon: There’s a huge occult explanation for that but long story short: if you miscast do you want a stick to explode or your hand?
Satan: Also good for hitting people
Diavolo: Twirly
Asmodeus: Dramatic flair
Beelzebub: Tastes good
Simeon:
“I’m a writer” is always a great excuse
“Why are you researching Aztec culture” I’m a writer
“Why are you searching poisonous flowers” I’m a writer
“Why is there a dead body in your attic?” I’m a writer
Satan:
Life Hack
Got something you need to do at a certain time every day (e.g. take meds)? Start giving your cat a treat right before you do it. You may have trouble remembering, but your cat absolutely will not.
Mammon: That’s a damn good advice
Asmodeus: A cat wrote this
Leviathan: Isn’t it weird that you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings
Solomon: This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where??? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”
Leviathan: Great! How do I uninstall it?
Mammon: If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad a decision can it really be
Belphegor: #new life motto
Asmodeus: I think this will be my graduation quote
MC: Can this year be the year I become hot?
Diavolo: No but I can be the year you realize you always were
Asmodeus: Aw this is the cutest
Leviathan: The people here are all becoming alarmingly smooth alarmingly fast what is happening
Asmodeus: Okay, story time. At a group sleepover there’s this friend, MC, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? They nod off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, one of my friends leans back and hears them mumbling in their sleep.
My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. MC snuggles their blanket smiles and in the sweetest voice says, “Go on, Solomon. You can jump, it’s only 30 stories.”
Satan: I know I have talked and done some weird shit in my sleep.
Mammon: One time a friend, Belphegor, was sleeping over. He had the top bunk, I had the bottom. I heard this random noise and woke up just to find him hanging upside down staring at me, smiling devilishly. He mumbled “I’ll peel your skin off” then fell off the bed. I’ve never been so horrified in my life.
Belphegor: At least your friends didn’t start chewing on you in your sleep, I thought I was going to be fucking eaten alive
Mammon: Why the fuck does English have a word for Defenstatrion—the act of throwing someone out a window but not for “the day after tomorrow” ???
Satan: Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)
Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow
Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday
Example: I defenestrated my older brother ereyesterday. I shall defenstarte my younger brother overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.
Leviathan: I may not have the hottest body or the clearest skin or the softest hair or the prettiest eyes or the cutest laugh or the perfect smile or the best morals or the biggest goals or the highest grades or the most friends or the largest amount of control or the nicest attitude
Lucifer: But?
Leviathan: No that’s all
MC: Everyone is kissing someone else for New Years but I get to kiss a stuffed penguin so who really wins here
Belphegor: Stuffed penguin
Mammon: Smooth as fuck
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blakeswritingimagines · 8 hours ago
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Levi: I WILL DESTROY YOUR BLOODLINE, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
Asmo: uh... Who are you talking to?
Levi shrugging his shoulders: Some kid that killed me in my new game
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0beyme · 8 hours ago
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[from Obey Me manga on twitter]
uwu Asmodeus rights. Do you hold him?
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qshara · 9 hours ago
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GUYS HEAR ME OUT
Lucifer: Why do they hate me?
Mammon: Why don't I fight back?
Leviathan: Why do I act like such a creep?
Asmodeus: Why won't he date me?
Satan: Why did I hit him?
Beelzebub and Belphegor: Why do I cry myself to sleep?
All the brothers: Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sing, God! Give me some hope here! Something to live for!
Sorry, I was listening Heathers The musical and I think this part fits very well with them. The name of the song is "Beautiful" <3
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First time ?
Warning!!!! Spoiler alert from lesson 55.
I don't know you. But this is just a normal day with a Latin mom when they are angry and fuuuck.
They'll have no mercy upon us.
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animepikagirl · 9 hours ago
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ᴬⁿᵍʳʸ ᶠʳᵒᵍ ʰᵃᵗˢ ⁺ ᴼᵇᵉʸ ᴹᵉ! ᴵᶜᵒⁿˢ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵐᵉ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵇᵒʳᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉᵐ :⁾ !! ᶠᵉᵉˡ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉᵐ !! :⁾
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therobinswritings · 10 hours ago
Hello love! I managed to get a black eye today as result of being an idiot at work. I was wondering if I could get some reactions from our lovely demon boyz when MC comes home with a black eye as a result of something stupid.
🩹ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ ʙʀᴜɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ 🩹 (Brothers)
ALL BROTHERS // LITTLE CRACK ONCE AGAIN IM SO SORRY // GN READER // BRUISES // COMFORT
I assumed 'demon boyz' meant the brothers so if it meant all of them I apologise 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ but!! I know it's been a while since you sent this in but I hope your eye is okay 🥺
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂
Lucifer:
+ He didn't notice at first, idling chatting and welcoming you home as he flipped through a document
+ When he finally raised his eyes to you, a flash of red panic jumped across them before he fought to keep his composure , tightening the grip on his document behind his back.
+ "You've gone injuring yourself once more I see. . .unless, did someone do this?" He subtly tries to find out if someone hurt you without letting on how much he cares.
+ After you explain the incident he blinks at you for a few silent moments before sighing like a disappointed parent.
+ Brushing over your bruise lightly with a delicate hesitance, he holds his usual stern expression.
+ "Be careful, you're my responsibility so I can't have you getting hurt on my watch," he explains in a monotone as he shifts back to his documents before muttering, "and I don't like seeing someone I care for injured."
Mammon:
+ Mammon has this annoying- sorry- sweet habit of running up behind you and poking your face.
+ So when he saw you get home he obviously threw on his devilish grin and did his usual scene.
+ However, he jumped at your yelp of pain, believing he had hurt you. Hunching over in some guilt, his face melted into one of a puppy who accidentally bit their owner too hard until he saw the bruise.
+ "Ehhh?! Who dared t'lay a hand on me human?" Mammon grumbled as he cupped your face, a focused expression on the otherwise easily distracted demon.
+ Once you explained the situation to him, he blushed furiously and weakly flicked your forehead. "Tch, s-stupid human! Gettin' me worried for nothin'. . ."
+ Throughout the day he'd keep looking over at the purple-yellow mark and pouting to himself.
+ "Bruise ya'self again 'nd I'll start bruising ya!" Mammon what??
Levi:
+ "HOLD ON MC IM ABOUT TO WIN-" The demon shouted enthusiastically as you entered his room.
+ Only a few moments later his match finished and he spun in his chair only to squeak when he saw the bruise painting your face.
+ Hurriedly getting up, he accidentally pulled his headphone cord, forgetting to take off the headset but it didn't even phase him as he sputtered out questions.
+ After you explain that you're fine and that it was an accident (a bloody stupid one at that) Levi wavers slightly before giving you one of his rare, tight hugs.
+ "Mmph, be careful you normie! I don't want other people laying hands on you- violent or not."
+ It's lucky that it was just an accident, otherwise Levi would have had to rip up a demon into itsy bitsy little pieces and that ruins the limited edition Ruri-Chan carpets!
Satan:
+ Our Satan is quite the observant one, so when you had gotten home with a mark of violence on your face he quickly noticed.
+ His position remained calm, hands folded in his lap as one leg lay over the other, however his frown deepened. Why were you casually conversing with him as if you didn't have a huge bruise on your face?
+ Patiently waiting for you to finish whatever you were saying, the demon finally asked, "who hurt you?"
+ At first you were confused at the sudden change of topic but then you realised, and as you explained you noticed the deep and shaded twist in his eyes even out to the usual bright green.
+ "Ah, so that was it, what a relief." Satan held his heart with a sigh before simply pointing out, "you should really be more careful, seeing someone I love get hurt doesn't help me keep my wrath under wraps," as if that wasn't a really touching thing to say.
+ Although he did chuckle and tease you slightly at how silly you are for managing to injure yourself in such a way.
+ He also offered to heal the bruise with some magic, saying something about how seeing you hurt disturbed him.
Asmodeus:
+ The avatar of Lust is probably the brother who pays the most attention to your face, so he immediately noticed the mark that ruined his perfect art piece.
+ With a dramatic gasp he (gracefully) jogged up to you and held your face tenderly with a somewhat peeved expression.
+ "Oh darling, what did you get yourself into now?" He attempted to honey his voice but a clear spit of venom was present in his tone.
+ As you explained to him that you're just a dumbass (sorry MC) he gently peppered kisses over and around the bruise, making you giggle through your words.
+ He offered to cover it up with foundation and to be honest when it comes to Asmo you can't refuse- if he wants to put foundation on it's going on.
+ So he settled down in the cushioned seat by his vanity, sitting you on his lap as he patted on the coverage, all the while scolding you for not taking better care of yourself.
+ Your legs swung by his hips as you grinned childishly, if it meant getting pampered you'd make dumb mistakes every day.
Beelzebub:
+ Having finally arrived home you made your way to the kitchen for a snack, only to find Beel cooking up one of your favourite meals.
+ And as much as your mouth watered you knew it was better not to steal food from the avatar of gluttony.
+ When Beel spotted you, he dropped his spoon into the dish and stared before giving you a look you'd never seen on him before. Eyes serious, his brows furrowed in a way similar to Lucifer's, his jaw tensing.
+ Apron still on, he rolled up his sleeves and started marching up to you. "Who?" He asked bluntly, throwing his coat that lay on the counter over him.
+ You blinked confusedly before realising oh yeah, I have a bruise just on my face. Helping him slide his coat back off, you told him about your silly incident.
+ He gave a soul crushing hug afterwards before his expression turned back to the usual him as he sweetly requested you be more careful when he's not there to protect you.
+ "Also, I made you some food. . ." He handed over the plate of your favourite meal newly cooked. As you happily scarfed it down, he stroked your head and muttered, "had a feeling something happened. . ."
Belphegor:
+ Belphie had just woken from a nap when he saw you laying beside him. You were shattered when you got back so you decided to slept next to your reliably sleepy demon.
+ He inspected your face whilst you lay there peacefully as a mildly stormy look grew on his own.
+ Debating on whether or not to wake you, he say up and peered over your still body. He never had much patience anyways. But before he could break your slumber, your eyes shot open, presumably the feeling of his figure awakening you.
+ As you stared right back at him in silence, you felt some anxiousness grow- why was he just l o o k i n g at you like that?
+ "Who did you fight?" He asked uncharacteristically softly. Realising what he was talking about, you explained to him that you had just got into a little accident. "Tch, dummy." He turned over on the bed in annoyance like an angry spouse, his back facing you for a few seconds before he turned back around again.
+ Like a koala he clung onto you, his arms and legs wrapped around you like a comfy weighted blanket. "It's not fair, just stay in bed with me here where nothing can hurt you."
+ "But Belphie, I hurt myself-"
+ "Shut up and sleep with me."
+ "BELPHIE ADFHGHGJ!-"
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