Maybe the assassins would beat the templars for once if they stopped serving the light and started serving cunt.
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awwh happy 859th birthday altaïr
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(altaïr’s redemption arc was so funny)
altaïr: hi malik
malik: KILL YOURSELF!!!!
3 months later
altaïr: hi malik
malik: you are the best man to have ever set foot on this planet and i love you i forgive you for anything you have ever done and ever will do
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doing what god designed me to do (making shitpost)
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Ziio, on their "intel-gathering mission", after Haytham started a bar fight just because his manly ego got hurt:
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Obsessed with the idea of Shay naming his first daughter Morrigan. You best believe he’d be like “Morrigan meet Morrigan” as he’s holding that newly fresh out the oven baby on his ship.
Girl dad Shay Cormac real
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Listen, buddy, it’s my post, I’ll say what I want.
Ahem.
So my next crossover idea includes Spider-Mans and Desmond Miles.
Assassin’s Creed x Spider-Verse
So you know how we love throwing Desmond, a man we barely spend enough time with in the games, only for him to be zapped into the past tense and sliced into little murder meat appetizers?
Well in true Desmond Miles fan fashion, we throw him not only into one universe, but a whole ass multiverse.
Is he a spider person? Hell no, my guy is an Assassin with morales and sick bartending skills.
Why is he here? The webs of the multiverse are a little too literal and he is very much wrapped up into it.
This whole thing is fucked up, but by whatever fucked up spider gods that allowed this to happen, he’s gonna be totally chill while internally freaking the fuck out.
Per the Desmond Miles experience™️
Oh, and to help actual children who need help, time to be the father he never got or got to be.
Funny how the Eagle adopts the Spiders
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