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petitsdieu · 15 days

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cont. ft. @redemptioninterlude

Hara dissolves further into creature. A maddening woman, deranged by pain. The body can only succumb to so many violations before it breaks altogether. And it was Faye's father, Hara's lawful husband, that made touch Evil. The idea of being merely pecked once more by that man could trigger her hand once more.

There is nothing sacred left. She’s been severed from The Language she used to covet. She recoils when she’s touched.

And rumor dares to question the legitimacy of her heir. Now gossip suggest he doesn’t look like her. And her son's eye, gone. Faye's offspring gets a mere pat on the hand for this crime — he's more rat than boy. Yet no one questions him.

( the King is too old to seed. )

Ever fading — their coupled memories of girlhood. She pictures them, in a flash, as there were at fifteen. How they gushed of infatuation they'd chase soon after. How they solidified their friendship in ways worth more than blood oaths and alliances ever could. Loyalty felt so untouchable. So perpetual and plush. Sisterhood in a world of Sons.

Now, she hears of plans. She's sure Faye's plotted her death by the hour of the day ( and by extension, the son ). There's a mirrored case against Faye as well. Men that loathe the idea of a woman's reign. "Falsehood does not become you, Faye!"

She hadn't meant to lash her once-sister. But the blood drip suggests her blade sunk deep. It seeps the sleeve, splats the floor. It stakes shape as Hara's shame. Her regret. This is not the way; she feels possessed. But nothing like the eye lost. Nothing like Hara's loss either. It feels like its been eons since she's been Valentine's breeding pet. It's killed her. She does not let the knife. Hugs it like a lifeline — it would be foolish to drop it now.

There may be an audience, but it's them that are unstilled and spoken. Everyone merely witness the estranged. Hara is not too far gone to realize how bad she looks now. All swollen eyes, thrusting weapons, and a desperate need to defend herself because no one else will. “You are betraying as they come! Your cheek turns from loyalty the moment someone no longer serves you. And justice? You will not serve it."

But Hara could never unlove Faye. These crying attentions. Always one breath and beg away from reaching for her Once-Sister. Every biting word and ploy — notice me, forgive me, return to me. You are also a language I no longer covet.

#ily and thank you for putting up with me all these years too!!!#* filed under — ( verse ) ( galaxie )#* filed under — ( verse ) ( interactions ) ( galaxie )#blood tw #assault mention tw #redemptioninterlude

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taleswritten · 6 months

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@riotseas gets a discussed painful starter

With nothing to do as of late - supplies already and order, missives answered, and planning put to a stop for now when Tarja insists they take a break - it leaves room for thoughts he rather ignore.

Unwanted thoughts.

He'd holed himself up in his room, as he tends to do when he doesn't want to be around people or get asked a million questions of what is going or if he's okay.

Everyone knows better than to bother him when he's in his quarters, the only one he's ever actually accepted in there when he's spiraling is Joshua.

Joshua helps him, perhaps more than he knows, but Joshua isn't near him. Clive knows he's somewhere around the hideaway, possibly hanging out with Torgal and taking care of him, but Clive does not go looking for him. He feels enough of a burden as is.

He can handle this, he thinks. He's fine, he thinks.

Though, the more time he spends alone, the more it gives way to these creeping thoughts that make him want to crawl out of his skin.

At first, he claws at his skin, as if somehow that will get the feeling off of him. Nails desperetly scrape against both arms, down his forearm with enough force to draw blood. It doesn't work.

Fuck, it doesn't work.

He can still feel the feeling of hands all over him. He can feel the fear he had once felt. He can feel their lingering touches all over his body. No spot on his body is safe, everything feels so gross and dirty. He wants to claw at his skin again but he figures, if he feels dirty, he should get clean.

He isn't thinking about how harmful this might be to him. All he cares about is getting clean and if that means rubbing himself until he's raw and bloody then so be it.

He's not even aware that is what he's doing when he settles down in the bathroom floor with a bowl of water and a washcloth. He settles on the floor and he's quickly peeled off his top.

It's not enough to just scrub at his arms, he needs to clean his chest and body too. He settles criss-crossed on the floor and begins to scrub. Breath shakes with every attempt to get himself clean.

Clean, clean, clean.

There's another stutter in his breath as he pushes down hard on his arms and chest, scrubbing with little care of how it hurts him to do so, little care for when he dips the washcloth in the bowl of water, it turns red with his blood and he goes back to scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing.

He can't get the feeling off, he can't get clean. They feel so real. If he could do it without killing himself, he'd set himself aflame by now in the way he had the men who dared to touch him. Who had gotten so close to doing what they planned on doing before the fire manifested and set them on fire.

He does, however., warm the washcloth with his fire. It only further hurts him but at this point, he does not care. He doesn't care how it burns him and makes the bleeding and raw feeling worse.

Pain is better than the feeling of hands all over him, large gross hands that he can;t get rid of. Not that he even feels the pain right now when he's so focused on getting himself clean so that he doesn't feel so dirty and impure.

Clive?

The sound of Joshua's voice isn't even registered, the more Joshua approaches, the more he will see that Clive is only focused on one thing and one thing alone - scrubbing himself raw - and Clive does not register his footsteps at all or the voice that calls out his name again.

Tears spring into his eyes. Why can't he get clean?! Why does he feel so dirty?! It's not working! It has to work, eventually, right? So he scrubs even harder, ignoring the raw red marks that are bleeding on his arms from both the scrubbing and his earlier clawing at his skin.

Dirty, dirty, dirty.

Clean, clean, clean.

#riotseas #assault mention tw #assault mention cw #clive interactions #ANYWAY OUCH #here you go as discussed akjsks #self harm tw #self harm cw

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procrastinationaccount · 2 years

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Completed Lgbtq+ Webtoons to Binge (Originals edition)

Most of these are already pretty popular, and some of them are primarily available irl, but honestly you could just take this as an opportunity to reread some of your favorites.

Muted - A fantasy story with a really distinct art style that handles themes of parental abuse, generational trauma, and found family extremely well. The main character finds out that she is descended from two powerful witch clans and summons a wholesome plant demon, while dealing with her own mental health problems and rapidly expanding family. Primarily wlw rep, with a canon polyamorous ending! The author is also currently creating another comic, LoveBot, with their partner.

Always Human - A slice-of-life wlw romance in a gorgeous sci-fi setting. The hook is that most characters in this world can mod their appearance and health, but one of our main girls is allergic to them. This one is just really cute, and extremely diverse, with agender, aroace, gay and poly side characters. There's a physical copy shorter than the full webtoon that I highly recommend if you want to introduce any of these groups to kids in an age-appropriate way!

Cape of Spirits - A fantasy webtoon, based on a fictional video game from another of the author's comics. Extremely engaging and satisfying story, and has a lot of cool action scenes! There's also a surprising amount og rep - a nb robot (which I know can be a :/ trope, but indvidual robots are unique and there is another robot who uses she/her), a wlw couple, and a catradora-esque mlm main couple.

Castle Swimmer (s. 1) - This comic is ongoing (and incredibly popular), but the first season can also stand on its own. It's a love story between a merman who's supposed to fulfill prophecies for different kingdoms and the prince who's supposed to kill him. Thankfully it doesn't fall into the tropes of having the main couple constantly bicker or threaten each other, they talk a lot about finding a balance between living your life for yourself and others. Love this one so much, and it's very diverse and kid-friendly (some blood and heavy ideas, maybe like 4th-5th grade level)! There is a transfem main character in the first season, aroace and bi main characters in the second season, overall just has gorgeous art and creative concepts and wholesome relationships.

Hooky - adorable fantasy webtoon about a family of witches and their friends (~at first~). The main characters are a pair of twins, one of whom is fated to become 'king of the witches' and overturn the humans oppressing them, but in between the tense moments there is a lot of heart and loveable characters. The mlm characters don't really join the cast until roughly halfway through, but it's still well worth reading. It's also being released as physical books & mostly child appropriate.

Kind of Love (1 & 2) - Collections of short stories by different authors. Not all of them are lgbtq+, but the ones that are hit - there's a lesbian mourning the loss of her wife and adopting a cat, a transbian who's working to come out to her family and yt audience, a mlm story about a ghostbuster, and a boba shop worker who falls for an agender ghost. All of the stories in this collection are really good and worth checking out :DD

The Fever King - This is actually an adaptation of a published novel, which is pretty cool. It's mostly set in a military academy run by a corrupt government, and the main character is one of the only survivors of a plague that decimated his family. It has aspects of both fantasy and sci-fi, and is pretty graphic for a webtoon - major tws for sexual and emotional abuse. The main character and his love interest are mlm, but *spoilers* they don't have a happy ending, so I would recommend reading it only if you're into the plot and/or have access to the sequels.

Phantom Paradise - Gorgeous art, fantasy webtoon about a boy who serves as a concubine to the empress of hell to save his boyfriend. This one is a bit heavier than The Fever King, it has heavy depictions of abuse and the main character is a WW2 veteran. I actually learned a bit about Chinese history and culture from this, albiet highly fictionalized. The ending isn't the happiest, but if you like a lot of fantasy fights and dramatic flashbacks you'll probably like this.

Unfortunately, a lot of these are just wlw or mlm romance, because a lot of the webtoons with trans rep I'm reading are ongoing (and there generally aren't enough tqia+ webtoons). If you have any favorites that I missed, please recommend them!

I'm going to make a post below with some Canvas webtoons to check out, which might not be as well known :)

#Webtoon #Lgbtq+ representation #Castle swimmer #Muted #Hooky #if you liked heartstopper you might like some of these #Yes #I have found some of these by searching 'gl and reading whatever comes up #Sue me #abuse tw #Assault mention tw

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blairwaldcrf · 1 year

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my words shoot to kill when I'm mad (fic drabble)

Summary: or, 2x08 if Jenny had overheard her brother Dan yell at Nate.

read/comment on ao3 here

Brought to you by this post of @terrainofheartfelt’s I couldn’t help but add onto awhile back after @strideofpride shared this very haunting, well-written Nate-centered fic. ily both and i’m sorry that i’m not sorry <3

given the rather serious topics, please be warned of the (canon) past-assault mentions

“How dare you,” Jenny all but screams at him, pure rage as she comes up and shoves him not dissimilar to the way he’d shoved Nate not three minutes ago. “How dare you! You think--,” she pauses to get closer to him so the other people in the hallway won’t overhear, voice still firm despite the lowering. “You think because he’s a hot guy that he was fine? After Vanessa got Blair involved you still thought, what? Everything was consensual? That because he showed interest first he’s not allowed to change his mind?”

“Jenny--,” he tries.

“Is that what you think about me and Chuck?” she asks, voice breaking.

He can’t feel the floor underneath him anymore.

“No, of course not. I--,”

“Go to hell, Dan,” she spits back at him with venom. “At least there you can’t inflict yourself on others.”

Because even before she was Blair’s pupil, she still knew exactly how to hurt him the most.

He leaves before Vanessa can find him, which he knows is selfish given how she must be hurting over the kiss, but the idea of her finding out exactly what he had said to Nate is too hard to bear. Jenny was right-- Vanessa had told him. She had actually listened to Dan’s suggestion and gotten Blair involved, which he should have seen as a red flag, but their entire world was filled with red flags, fields of them even. His cheeks flush with shame and embarrassment as he remembers his words to Vanessa-- something gigolo something-- and he wants to throw up. Surely vomiting at this point would feel better than the encompassing nausea, but his stomach doesn’t acquiesce.

Blind ignorance doesn’t excuse his actions, especially when he wasn’t even blind, not completely. He had seen the empty brownstone with no furniture or electricity, had known Anne Archibald was off at some vacation home without her barely eighteen-year-old son. Known that money was needed. Dan simply hadn’t wanted to think about the reality because it was just too fucking dark and depressing.

When Dan arrives back at the loft, there’s a small mercy in the fact that his dad and Jenny aren’t there. Only Nate, packing the few things he even had to bring over, back into a duffel bag. The dirty blonde doesn’t look up all the way at the entrance, only enough to see it’s Dan, and continues back to the task at hand.

“It’s fine, Dan,” the other boy says with a weary sigh, but he won’t meet his eyes as he continues. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Nate,” he tries, voice breaking under the weight of his regret. “Don’t go.”

“I shouldn’t have--,”

Nate looks up then, blue eyes still striking despite their resignation. “You think you’re the first to say it? Could have come up with something more original as a writer though.”

“I wasn’t going after her,” Nate defends again ruefully instead of acknowledging the apology over Catherine. “Jenny. She was just-- she was someone who actually understood.”

Dan doesn’t find the morbid humor funny. “I was wrong.”

It’s not meant to be an accusation, but it still hangs in the air between them.

Is that what you think about me and Chuck?

“I know. I’m sorry.” Dan says genuinely, and he does know now that his anger is out of the way and he knows Jenny is safe. Nate had been the first to come to him about his little sister last year, concerned about a request for four grand, not trying to play white knight without letting her family know. Dan had been grateful, at the time, even if he hadn’t thought to say so. “I’m over protective and I have a temper, but you know why.”

“I’m not Chuck,” Nate argues roughly, only now with narrowed eyes and grit in his voice.

Dan isn’t sure how to word things properly-- he’s done a fucked up job so far tonight-- but he tries to tread lightly as he explains, “Of course not. But the first time you and I ever really spoke ended with you defending him the night after he assaulted her. Telling him not to fight me because I ‘wasn’t worth it’.”

“So whether it’s fair or not, whether you’re even friends right now or not, I think I still subconsciously associated you with him when I saw you kissing her.”

Nate looks back down.

Dan doesn’t nod, just looks away as well, uncertain of how many emotions he’s supposed to show around male friends after a litany of female figures in his life and a musician for a father. “I still shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“Yeah, I guess when you put it like that I’d be mad at me too.” Nate has chosen to find the organization of his shirts more interesting than it really is.

“I am trying, Dan,” Nate sounds less deprecating or guarded now. “I don’t want to be that guy anymore.”

---------

"I don't think you were that guy to begin with," he tries to say, knowing he won't be believed. "Fuck, I'm definitely not any better."

#dan humphrey #nate archibald #jenny humphrey #gossip girl #gg 2x08 #assault mention tw #gg fic #*by me

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countlessrealities · 1 year

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Have You Ever…

Bold what applies. Italicise what applies in some AUs/verses

Stolen from myself xD Tagging: @advnterccs [both] / @thcpresidcnt [both] / @mcltiples [Weird Rick], @imprvdente / @hvbris [AISHA], @omniishambles [Peter & Yondu] @kharimera @technodromes [Krang & Shredder] @dynamoprotocol @modestmuses [Silco & Singed] & whoever wants to steal it !

#[ ooc :: dash games ]#[ headcanons :: c137 Rick ]#[ headcanons :: Morty ]#[ headcanons :: Evil Morty ]#[ headcanons :: Evil Rick ]#[[ main duo vs evil duo ]]#[[ here's the traumatised people club -finger guns- ]]#[[ considering that two of them are just 14...yikes ]]#drugs mention tw #abuse mention tw #assault mention tw #self harm mention tw #[[ just to be safe ]]#[ ooc :: mun's headcanons ]

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juliettehv · 1 year

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IC Task 4: Interrogations

Juliette stared at the three officers sitting on the other side of the room, her eyes stepping from each of her aggressors one after another. What a difference a few hours could make. The night before, she had found herself tangled up with a woman who would never admit that it had occurred. At least not publicly. And now… now she was being brought in for further interrogation in relation to Greer’s disappearance. How fun. As the three investigators looked at each other, she just sat there. Waiting. She could let them come to her. “Alright, let’s get this started.” Agent Brown finally spoke. And so it began.

“Were you aware that Greer Morrison had submitted a video at the end of last year?” Juli heard the words and yet she remained stoic, cold, bored frankly. Her eyes focused straight ahead onto the world in front of her. “No I was not. I’ve never been the rah-rah team spirit type.” She answered simply. She was ice. Cold. Completely detached from the moment that was occurring. It was simple enough to detach herself from her emotions. Especially when the truth would exonerate her. “That’s it? Nothing more to say?” The question was added in, and the blonde woman’s eyes locked directly onto who had let it slip. “I don’t have much to comment. I seem to be playing catch up far more than you all seem to, and if you think you are investigating a serious lead by asking me these questions, then ask me questions relevant to those you need information on. But if you are to ask me things about myself or ask me for speculation, then I will offer you my sincerest apologies, but I won’t dignify a wild goose chase. Or a vvitch hunt. So next question please.”

“Had you ever heard of anything regarding THE NAIVE NEWCOMER using steroids?” Now this was new. Not entirely unexpected, to be completely fair, but she had definitely not been in the loop on that one. “Nothing seriously no. I wouldn’t be shocked at all if he was juicing, you know the hoops these schools make athletes go through. We’re all the best there is, are we not? And our athletes are under pressure to continue making themselves stronger and better than their typical physical gifts make them capable of. If they were as good talent wise as Clayton Kershaw or Bryce Young or Lebron James, they’d be at elite athletic schools. Of course some players are going to be trying to make themselves the best they can be in that way. Do I blame them? No. They can do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t effect me. But apparently according to all of you, it is now.” She stared at the interrogators, remaining as cold and distant as ever. Before she quickly pulled an item out of her pocket and brought it to her lips. “Uh… there’s no vaping in this building, Ms. Hastings-Villiers.” The nicer agent, Choi, added in. “What are you going to do? Arrest me for vaping?” She asked, a small smirk crossing her face as she scanned their faces for reactions. And she locked eyes with the woman in the back, in the corner. Agent Murray. Perhaps a kindred spirit of some sort. She could use that. The two male agents glanced at each other, unease flooding them, at least as it appeared. Before Brown spoke again.

“So uh… had Greer brought up breaking up with him ever? Or anything of the sort, like she did in her video?” A long exhale of vapor escaped the blonde’s lips as she smiled. And then she spoke again. “We didn’t have that type of confidant relationship if I’m completely honest with you. She didn’t come to me for advice or for input on what she was going to do. Though of course… she was sleeping with multiple people on campus aside from him. Probably behind his back. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe he liked knowing he wasn’t enough for her. But that’s just a thought and I couldn’t assert that as fact. Now I’m sure if you were to try and pursue the jealous lover angle in court his lawyers would argue it. Probably bring up the idea that he most certainly knew something was wrong but that he went along with it for his love for her. Maybe…. Or maybe he was just a fool in love and knew nothing. But no. She never told me anything about that. Perhaps you should look closer at those she was actually sleeping with, rather than just those who may have had attractions to her but never acted upon them. Like I said earlier. We didn’t have that type of relationship.”

Brown seemed almost relieved by the last line in her answer as he immediately spoke up as she finished. “Glad you chose to mention your type of relationship because some other students have brought up your relationship with Greer. Why do you think they thought it was relevant? And would you care to expand upon that relationship?” And the smile was back on Juliette’s face. Cold and hard, certainly, but still a smile. This game was playing right into her hands. “Oh good, we’re going off innuendo and rumor for this case, I’m so glad to hear that’s what the FBI is basing this investigation upon. My relationship with Greer was that I was the heir apparent. I was going to be her as soon as she graduated. Now, obviously, there are some people on campus who would rather I wasn’t that woman, that I wasn’t like them in some of the same ways and that they would be a more fitting person to take the step and become the next most popular and most influential person on campus. The truth is though, I’m a queer woman who is extremely similar to Greer. But I was far from one of her enemies. I admired her. I watched her, I studied her, and I tried to model some aspects of how I interacted with other members of campus off of her. Of course that got me many enemies, just like that got Greer many enemies on campus. So if you want names, I’ll give you names of people who despised that poor girl, people who I wouldn’t be shocked if they did anything illegal or those who I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out this wasn’t the first disappearance they were linked to. But if one of you two fine young gentlemen were to disappear I’m sure both of you would be much more quick to point the finger at the enemies of whoever was missing rather than to her.” And as soon as the word had left her lips, her eyes had locked on the woman in the back. Agent Murray. “Consider me Greer’s Agent Murray. I knew what I was paying attention to. But it’s not a crime for me to be attentive. If I was working for you like she is, I’m sure you would view it as an asset.” She added on, their eyes locked on each other. A silent battle of wills. A connection of kindred spirits. Of course, where would the fun be in letting the men win and have all their fun.

The silence hung there. Heavy, oppressing, pregnant with the tension that was existing in every form around them. And then… Brown couldn’t take it anymore. Not only did he speak but it almost seemed like a yell. Like he was trying to cleave the very tension in twain with his words. “Do you have any reason to believe Greer wanted to leave Ogden College?” And then the silence returned. Juliette settled back into her chair, legs crossed, easily, right over the left as she continued to stare a hole through the woman on the other side of the room. “No. I didn’t have that type of relationship with her for her to tell me something like that. And I can’t comprehend why she would want to do that. She had everything on that campus.” She answered, completely honestly, her gaze never breaking from Agent Murray.

“Were you aware of Greer planning to travel to Portugal this summer?” Juli’s eyes may have stayed solid and locked, but her voice didn’t, a trill of laughter was immediately sent out and she couldn’t help the grin on her face. “You’re going to hate me for this Agent Brown. But no. Because I didn’t have that type of relationship with her.” And as at long last she started to turn her head to look at the Lead Investigator, it happened. Murray looked down at her notepad before Juli could break eye contact. Juli had won. And she immediately snapped onto Brown. “Maybe next time you would like to find better questions that couldn’t be answered by the same answer three times. Being unprepared is a terrible look for you.” And then, finally, the last voice joined the fray. Quiet and unassuming, from the back of the room.

“Is there anything you know that you’re not sharing?” Juli’s smile finally fully broke the surface as she turned her head, looking over at Murray with a sense of self-satisfaction and an absolute certainty that she had somehow wound up in control. And she took the moment before answering to do a very simple action. She uncrossed her legs, eyes glued to Murray's face, left them there for only a second, and then crossed them again, but the other way this time. “Well there are a few things. Of course some of them are quite obvious. Like how Brown’s family despises the fact he’s such a pitfall about work and his work-life balance is non existent, so every previous relationship he’s ever had has failed because he’ll only ever truly be married to his work. Hell, his spouse must feel like his mistress with the way he stays focused on his work so often. And so he fuels all the anger and frustration he has in his personal life into this work, which is why he won’t admit it but he’s enjoying getting to bully all these young college students who he is certain must be involved, though at this point he’s brought in pretty much anyone who’s ever been in contact with the poor girl because he won’t ever admit it to either of you but he’s completely lost and he knows his position is extremely weak.” Eyes and head snapped away from Murray onto Choi. “Choi wants to come across like everyone’s friend, he’s been doing the “good cop, bad cop” game with Brown for longer than he’d care to admit and yet it doesn’t fulfill him. He thinks people will open up to him if he’s nice but he also harbors resentment to Brown for the fact he knows he makes him a less effective agent. The fact that both of you look at Brown, a man who’s tried to model himself to become the ideal G-man. The ideal cop, and yet you both know, as minorities within this field that it harbors quite a bit of the resentment, the hidden underbelly, the shady dealings that the entire world now knows of from your law enforcement officers that you two are standing here and being forced to try and do your best when you despise the fact that you both would think that if push came to shove, Brown would not only sell the two of you out but he might actually have a smile on his face while he did it.That he is the epitome of the American policeman, the epitome of the police officer who has all the answers and refuses to let sleeping dogs lie, he’s who we talk about when we say All Cops Are Bastards and that both of you know that your families and your communities don’t trust you anymore because of your associations with this organization.” Back to Murray, send the knife deep and fucking twist it. “And you Murray. Working for an organization who’s founder hated and hunted MLK to such an extent while you know Brown would do the same thing. How many times have you been made to feel unwelcome here? How many times have you been told that you were not one of them? We both know you don’t fit with them. And that you really, truly, completely, are aware of the fact that you can’t fix the system from within it so why even try? So both of you, are just as guilty as that bastard cop is.” And with that, she finally sat back. Her eyes scanned the two faces she could muster an ounce of empathy and care towards. Brown wasn’t even worth her time. “Is there anything else?” She asked as she started to collect her things.

“No. You’re free to go.” Choi stated quietly, the final word nearly being cut off by the door slamming behind Juli as she walked out.

#ogdentask #task: interrogation #assault mention tw #harassment tw #bigotry mention tw #//this one got long honestly #smoking tw

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feignedhues · 1 year

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open to: khalil hayez | @kalkalil location: after party

Blue was too drunk for his own good. The first sign was always the taste of metal in his mouth, and how it flooded only under his tongue the moment he tipped a drink back just as his breath hit the rim of the glass. The fumes of the alcohol hit his palette, and that was enough to make him gag at more than just the memory. How he could still let himself revel in similar poisons was beyond him. It had been months since Blue drank, and probably over two years since he allowed himself to drink enough to even feel its effects. The second he felt the lull, he had rejected it. Two years later, and Blue had started all over again out of desperation. He didn’t drink to feel better, but rather to not feel at all. That was the only reason he could brave the taste of gasoline and whatever garnish it was wrapped in.

He sat down after pacing around the place, head not just hung but burrowed between his shoulders on the lawn chair that looked out towards the yard of the venue. They were so high up on the building that the collection of tabloid favorites in attendance were finally granted privacy. Traffic below was only caught when red and blue lights bounced off surrounding buildings, and camera flashes belonged only to those with invitation.

How did he get an invitation?

Blue knew who hosted the party almost too well, and he had hoped that they would have done him the favor to not extend a hand out to one person in particular especially after the latest business scandal. They didn't know about why Blue had his preferences, but he'd been able to confide a disgust that was mutually shared at some point. What changed on their end he didn't know.

He felt his stomach twist in knots, tying him to where he was and rising to his throat with a burn. It wouldn't rise high enough to hang him, though. The liquor wasn't hot enough in his body to burn the memory just for now for the sake of formalities. All he could do was sit there and keep his eyes closed to not see and hope to not be seen. He bit into his cheeks until a sharp jolt where tooth pierced skin was followed by a hand to his shoulder. He thought he might expel the contents of his stomach now at the sudden warmth that pooled over his arm.

"I-" Blue tried to find an excuse, but it was too late now. His body moved far too slow for what his mind wanted in the midst of the fight between inhibition and sickening adrenaline. Cheeks white, jaw wound tight, and eyes forced to squint to beg he'd make out someone else other than him he looked up at who'd found him.

#assault mention tw #alcoholism tw #━━ blue interactions ｢my heart and soul were never mine to own｣#blue x khalil hayez 001

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