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for-your-therapeutic-smile · 4 years

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They Never Teach You How to Stop

Rarely do I lack the words to express myself. Perhaps this reflects my failure to maintain my journal consistently throughout 2020. Here goes an honest attempt to capture and document my mental state and the fatigue of Covid, the inertia of this shelter-in-place, the anxiety of this political crisis we face as a nation, the pressure of being a 1L in law school against the backdrop of civil unrest and Justice Ginsburg’s death, coming out - my dad told me he was disappointed -, the possible erosion of my relationship with someone I love, and this feeling of absolute dread and resentment for a system that continuously fails my and future generations (robbing us of a social contract that promised life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness), among many other things I’m too tired to consider. When did we accept a $0 baseline as the American Dream? Oh, to be debt free - free from this punishment for having pursued an education. Stifling the educated to prevent them (myself included) from organizing and mobilizing the masses so we can supplant this system with a better one is the overall objective of the oppressive class (read: Pedagogy of the Oppressed); it’s the conflict between the bourgeois and the proletariat. The proletariat has swallowed the middle class, leaving only the ruling class. I am essentially on autopilot, forcing myself to go through the motions so I can survive another day. I know others join me in this mental gymnastics of unparalleled proportions, one social scientists and medical researchers will soon study and subsequently publish their findings in an attempt to explain the unexplainable. Despite a lack of air circulation, we are breathing history; the constitution, like our societal norms, must adapt accordingly. Judge Barrett: there is no place for originalism. While I seldom admit weakness or an inability to manage life’s curveballs, this series of unfortunate events seems almost too much to bear.

And yet somehow I continue to find the energy to submit assignments due at 11:59 p.m., write this post at 1:38 a.m., “sleep”, wake at 7 a.m. so I can read and prepare (last minute!) the assigned material leading into my torts or contracts class. I find the energy to text my boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend) so I can attempt to salvage the real and genuine connection we have, cook elaborate meals to find some solace, wrestle with whether or not to hit my yoga mat (I don’t), apply to a fellowship for the school year and summer internships, prepare my dual citizenship paperwork, manage a campaign for two progressive politicians, and listen to music in an attempt to stay sane . . . ~*Queues John Mayer’s “War of My Life” and “Stop This Train”*~ . . . I realize I have to be kinder to myself, give credit where credit is due. I hate feeling self-congratulatory though.

Mostly, I am too afraid of the repercussions if I stop moving at a mile/minute, that I can just work away the pain and be the superhuman who numbs himself from the low-grade depression and nervous breakdown. My body tells me to slow down, as evidenced by the grinding of my teeth, but I take on more responsibility because people rely on me. I must show up. I am a masochist in that way. This is what I signed up for and I’ll be damned if I don’t carry through on my promise to do the work. Pieces of my soul scattered about like Horcruxes, though they’re pure, not evil, so I hope nobody resolves to destroy them.

My mind rarely rests. It’s 3:08 a.m., one of the lonelier hours where night meets morning; it’s the hour for and of intense introspection. It makes you consider pulling an all-nighter, one you reserve for an “important” school or work deadline. We always put our personal lives on the back-burner. 3 a.m. sets the tone for a potentially awful day. But that doesn’t matter right now. I’m letting some of my favorite albums play in the background: Joni Mitchell’s Blue, Mac Miller’s Circles, Rhye’s Blood, Alicia Keys’ ALICIA, Coldplay’s Ghost Stories, Frank Ocean’s Blonde, Miley Cyrus’ Dead Petz in addition to other playlists, Tiny Desk performances, and tracks (I unearthed last week, like When It’s Over by Sugar Ray). I need to feel something. I need to feel anything. I need to feel everything. We experience such a broad spectrum of emotions throughout the day that we lose track of if we don’t pause to absorb them. Music reinforces empathy; it releases dopamine.

I spent the past two hours reading through old journals and posts, as scattered as they were, on a wide range of topics: poems I had written about falling in and out love, anecdotes about my world travels, and entries on personal, political, and professional epiphanies. The other night I found one of my favorites, a previous post from my time living in Indonesia, centering on the dualities of technology. It resonated with me more than the others. To summarize, I wrote about my tendency to equate the Internet with a sense of interconnectedness (shoutout to Tumblr for being my digital journal; to Twitter for being a place of comedy and revolution; to Instagram for curating my *aesthetic*; to Facebook where I track my family’s accomplishments and connect with travel buddies displaced around the globe all searching for a home). And yet I feel incredibly lonely and disconnected whenever I spend too much time using technology, so much so that I set screen time limitations on my phone recently to curtail this obsession with constant communication and information gathering. Trump and Biden admitted that it’s unlikely we’ll know the results of the election on November 3rd during their first presidential debate. Push notifications don’t allow us to learn of trauma within the comforts of our own homes. I’m already fearing where I will be when that news breaks.

This global pandemic and indefinite shutdown of the world (economy) undeniably exacerbates these feelings. This is some personal and collective turmoil. But I was complicit in the endless scrolling and swiping of faces and places long before Covid-19. Instead of choosing to interact with my direct environment (today’s research links this behavior to the same levels of depression one feels when they play slot machines), I am still an active on all these platforms, participating the least in the most tangible one: my physical life. I am tired of pretending. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of embodying fake energy to exist in systems that fail me. I am tired of the quagmire. Like Anaïs Nin, I must be a mermaid [because] I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living. This particular excerpt from that 2016 entry was difficult for me to read: “The fantasy of what could have been if a certain plan had unfolded will haunt you forever if you do not come to peace with the reality of the situation. I hope you come to terms with reality.” I am not at peace with my current reality. But is anyone?

It’s a bit surreal for my peers to have suddenly started caring about international relations theory. It’s transported me back to my 2012 IR lecture at Northeastern: are you a constructivist or a feminist? Realist or liberalist? Neo? Marxist? The one no one wants you to talk about. Absent upward mobility, this is class warfare. But I cannot be “a singular expression of myself . . . there are too many parts, too many spaces, too many manifestations, too many lines, too many curves, too many troubles, too many journeys, too many mountains, too many rivers” . . . It feels like America’s wake-up call. But I know people will retreat into the comforts of capitalism if Biden wins and, well, we all enter uncharted waters together if the Electoral College re-elects #45. For those who weren’t paying attention: the world is multipolar and we are not the hegemon. Norms matter. People tend to be self-interested and shortsighted. Look to the past in order to understand the future. History, as the old adage goes, repeats itself. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Taxation without representation. Indoctrination. Welcome to the language of political discourse. Students of IR and polisci have long awaited your participation. Too little too late? Plot twist: it’s a lifelong commitment. You must continue to engage irrespective of the election outcome or else we will regress just as quickly as we progress. Now dive into international human rights treaties (International Covenant on Civil & Political Rights; International Covenant on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights), political refugees, FGM. No one said it wasn’t dismal. But it’s important. We need buy-in.

While I am grateful for the continuation of my education, for this extended time with family, for this opportunity to be a campaign manager for two local progressive candidates (driving to Boston to pick up revised yard signs as proof that the work never stops), it would be remiss of me, however, not to admit that I am lonely: I am buried in my books, in the depressing news both nationally and globally, and in precedent-setting Supreme Court cases (sometimes for the worst, e.g. against the preservation of our environment). In my nonexistent free time I work on political asylum cases, essentially creating an enforceability framework of international law, for people fleeing country conditions so unthinkable (the irony of that work when my country falls greater into authoritarianism and oligarchy is not lost on me). I am fulfilling my dream of becoming a human rights lawyer which stems back to middle school. I saw Things I Imagined (thank you Solange). I have held an original copy of the Declaration of Independence that we sent to the House of Lords in 1778 and the Human Rights Act of 1998 while visiting the U.K. Parliamentary Archives as an intern for a Member of Parliament. This success terrifies and exhausts me; it also oxygenizes and saves me. Every decision, every sacrifice, has led me to this point.

“It’s the choosing that’s important, isn’t it?,” Lois Lowry of The Giver rhetorically asks. This post is not intended to be woe is me! I am fortunate to be in this position, to have this vantage point at such an early age, and I understand the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. My life has purpose. I am committed to the work that transcends boundaries; it is larger than life itself. It provides a unique perspective. But it makes it difficult to coexist with people so preoccupied in the drama they create in their lives and the general shallowness of the world we live. It feels like there is no option to pump the brakes on any of this work, especially in light of our current climate, and that pressure oftentimes feels insurmountable. Time is of the essence. It feels, whether true or not, that hardly anyone relates to my experience, so if I don’t carve out this time to write about it, then I am neither recording nor processing it.

Tonight, in between preparing tomorrow’s coursework, I realize that I have an unprecedented number of questions about life, which startles me because typically I have the answers or at least have a goal in mind that launches me into the next phase of life or contextualizes the current one. These goals, often rooted in this capitalistic framework, in this falsity of “needing” to advance my career as a means of helping people, distract me from asking myself the existential questions, the reasons for why we live and what we fundamentally want our systems to look like; they have distracted me from real grassroots community organizing until now. They distract me from the fact that, like John Mayer, I don’t know which walls to smash; similarly, I don’t know which train to board. Right now feels like we are living through impossible and hopeless times and I don’t want to placate myself into thinking otherwise despite my relatively optimistic outlook on life. As we face catastrophic circumstances – the consequences of this election and climate change (famine, refugees, lack of resources) – I do not want to live in perpetual sadness. I am searching for clarity and direction so I can step into a better, fuller version of myself.

It’s now 3:33 a.m. Here is the list of questions that I have often asked myself in different stages of life, but recently, until now, I have not been willing to confront for fear that I might not be able to answers them. But I owe it to myself to pose them here so I can have the overdue conversation, the one I know leads me to better understanding myself:

Are you happy? Why or why not?

What do you want the future to hold? What groundwork are you going to do to ensure it happens?

What does your ideal day/week/month/year/decade look like? Why?

With whom do you want to spend your days? Why?

Who do you love and care about? Have you told people you care about that you love them? Does love and vulnerability scare you?

What do you expect of people – of yourself, of your partner, of your family, and of your friends? Should you have those expectations? Why or why not?

What do you feel and why?

What relaxes you? What scares you? What brings you joy?

What do you want to improve? Why?

What do you want to forgive yourself for and why?

Does the desire to reinvent yourself diminish your ability to be present?

Do you have a greater fear of failure or success? Why?

How do you escape the confines of this broken system? How do you break from the guilt of participation in it and having benefited from it?

How do we reconcile our daily lives with the fact that we’re living through an extinction event? This one comes from my friend (hi Jeanne) and a podcast she listened to recently.

How do you help people? How do you help yourself? Are you pouring from an empty cup?

How will you find joy in your everyday responsibilities, in the mission you have chosen for yourself? What, if any, will be the warning signs to walk away from this work, in part or in its entirety? Without being a martyr, do you believe in dying for the cause?

So here are some of the lessons I have learned during this quarantine/past year:

“I’ve Got Dreams to Remember,” so do not take your eyes off them. Chasing paper does not bring you happiness.

Be autonomous, particularly in your professional life.

Focus on values instead of accolades.

Do everything with intention and honest energy.

Listen to Tracy Chapman’s “Crossroads” & Talkin’ Bout a Revolution for an energy boost and reminder that other revolutionaries have shared and continue to share your fervent passion . . . “I’m trying to protect what I keep inside, all the reasons why I live my life” . . . When self-doubt nearly cripples you and you yearn a few minutes to run away when in reality you can’t escape your responsibilities, go for a drive and queue up “Fast Car” . . . “I got no plans, I ain’t going nowhere, so take your fast car and keep on driving.”

With that said, take every opportunity to travel (you can take the work with you if absolutely necessary). Go to Italy. Buy the concert ticket and lose yourself in the moment. Remember that solo excursions are equally as important as collective ones. But, from personal experience, you prefer the company. Find the balance.

Detach from the numbers people keep trying to assign to measure your personhood.

Closely examine the people in your inner circle and ask them for help when you need it.

“And life is just too short to keep playing the game . . . because if you really want somebody [or something], you’ll figure it out later, or else you will just spend the rest of the night with a BlackBerry on your chest hoping it goes *vibration, vibration*” (John Mayer’s Edge of Desire) . . . so love fiercely and unapologetically.

Be specific.

Go to therapy even when life is good.

#reflection #covid #quarantine #late nights #music #revolution #diary #politics #john mayer #alicia keys #tracy chapman #love #dear diary #travel #writing #personal #mental health

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theringleader · 4 years

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MOX BEB FOR THE ASK THINGY 🥰🥰🥰

OOOH Y'ALL ARE TOO SWEET 🤘🏼 TO ME

Am I a fan: listen I saw a wwe live event in my hometown for one reason and one reason only. To see my BOY dean ambrose before he went to aew. tldr; I love him your honor

Favorite move: who doesn't love a good paradigm shift? The DRAMA of it all.... like he stops for just a second...... the suspense..... and then BOOM it's so good

Favorite match: I must say the asylum match...........legendary..........like only jonathan moxley the purveyor of violence could put SIXTY NINE tacks into chris jericho I have to stan

Favorite feud: I'm not going to say seth because while the feud is littered with goodies and history, she's just not that into you. Him and Chris. IT'S MY RIGHTS

Favorite promo: Can I say All? Like when he had his shitty heel turn he made those promos incredible even though the writing was so bad!!! Legends only???? I'm a huge fan of post-money in the bank (something something I'm going to keep fighting something something bum knee), talking smack (this company couldn't survive without dean ambrose), shields final chapter (follow your dreams and tell em the shield said so etc). ALSO love the one he just did where he quoted Dream? We love a wrestling fan

Dream match: dreams come true at revolution......again, it's alma rights

Seen live: YES WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A PICTURE

One of two pictures I took that night

Unpopular opinion: he's not the most over thing in aew..........orange is

#DNVISHTJVUSBBR I LOB HIM THANK UUUUUU

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rgr-pop · 5 years

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I need an ENTIRE afternoon wall of noise. 4/3 music library on shuffle until I hit a killdozer song.

the thermals - “god and country” reset - "double cross" nirvana - "polly" (1986-88 home recording) nirvana - "radio friendly unit shifter" (2013 mix) peterbuilt - "sateliteyes" the dickies - "got it at the store" apocalypse hoboken - "box of pills" fiona apple - "slow like honey" tex & the horseheads - "big boss man" everclear - "the drama king" anti-flag - "america got it right" neil young - "tonight's the night, pt. ii" everclear - "brown-eyed girl" noooooooooo oh my god no please millencolin - “israelites" listen you know that i'm p tolerant when it comes to this subject but why specifically did you boys do this. specifically you useless id - "note" never accuse me of pop punk nationalism again! that's three of global pop punk the selecter - "selling out your future" built to spill - "some things last a long time" holidays - "proof" let's wrestle - "bad mammaries" radhos - "one breath" ween - "boing" bracket - "g-vibe" local h - "'cha!' said the kitty" sublime - "40oz to freedom" failure - "saturday saviour" blink-182 - "don't leave me" (tmtts live take) why did they make this live album, they were so bad live shrimp boat - "melon song" interpol - "not even jail" the ataris - "angry nerd rock" 50 million - "superhero" skankin pickle - "violent love" the breeders - "put on a side" all - "honey peeps" the commandos (suicide commandos) - "weekend warrior" suicide machines - "friends are hard to find" the eclectics - "laura" good ska block! love this band pansy division - "jack u off" rocket from the tombs - "ain't it fun" dynamite boy - "devoted" young pioneers - "downtown tragedy" the breeders - "so sad about us" fenix tx - "jean claude trans am" fuck i love this song nofx - "bob" hickey - "happily ever after" bob dylan - "tangled up in blue" (bootlegs vol. 2) gas huffer - "king of hubcaps" tullycraft - "crush this town" atom and his package - "goalie" faith no more - "the real thing" carly rae jepsen - "tell me" bis - "listen up" one direction - "still the one" mtx - "she's no rocket scientist" eugene chadbourne - "roger miller medley" grouvie ghoulies - "carly simon" white town - "thursday at the blue note" gas huffer - "moon mission" rx bandits - "sleepy tyme" everclear - "rocket for the girl" failure - "kindred" blood on the saddle - "johnny's at the fair" the distillers - "red carpet and rebellion" cruiserweight - "dearest drew" stp - "plush" everclear - "wonderful" (live, from the closure ep) (don't hate it) new found glory - "sonny" everclear - "otis redding" (impure white evil demo) (BEST song) stp - "adhesive" incubus - "have you ever" cub - "tell me now" everclear - "short blonde hair" i simply do not hate it letters to cleo - "happy ever after" amazing transparent man - “the ocean is a fuck of a long way to swim” nerf herder - “(stand by your) manatee” kitty kitty - “ab tokeless” osker - “the mistakes you made” perfume genius - “hood” radhos - “shut up & deal” (welcome to the jungle take) osker - “the body” gas huffer - “the sin of sloth” the fall - “bombast” excuse 17 - “code red” mad season - “lifeless dead” unwritten law - “differences” hanson - “two tears” the eyeliners - “anywhere but here” moby grape - “lazy me” brian wilson - “wonderful” 88 fingers louie - “something i don’t know” sicko - “wisdom tooth weekend” the replacements - “love you till friday” suicide machines - “green world” midtown - “another boy” hickey - “cool kids attacked by flying monkeys” the roman invasion suite - “carnations” the beat - “tears of a clown” local h - “24 hour break up session” okay i’m awake i want to end this now toots & the maytals - “funky kingston” local h - “strict-9″ his name is alive - “her eyes were huge things” nirvana - “frances farmer will have her revenge on seattle” slapstick - “almost punk enough” urge overkill - “bionic revolution” janet jackson - “you want this” piebald - “long nights” small brown bike - “now i’m a shadow” the story so far - “left unsaid” crj - “more than a memory” tracy + the plastics - “my friends end parties” liz phair - “6′1″“ fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ this mix is feminist now swindle - “one track” shockabilly - “burma shave” temple of the dog - “say hello to heaven” amazing transparent man - “shove” cool soul asylum cover from dekalb illinois :)) the vindictives “eating me alive” midwests only!! the judys - “radiation squirm” gulfs only!! frogpond - “sleep” flipp - “rock-n-roll star” throwing muses - “red shoes” everclear - “santa monica” throwing muses on summerland??? mekons - “atone & forsaken” holidays - “take me home country roads” this is a good tone to lead up to killdozer... true believers - “all mixed up again” prince - “adore” beulah - “queen of the populists” eveclear - “rocky mountain high” (99x live acoustic--I don’t have a date for this actually) of montreal - “dustin hoffman thinks about eating the soap” heatmiser - “stray” rickie lee jones - “woody and dutch on the slow train to peking” tar - “viaduct removal” common rider - “carry on” the frogs - “u bastards” mudhoney - “this gift” hammerbox - “outside” fuck my mom would have loved this song if it had gotten the airplay it deserved in 1993... hammerbox on summerland!!!! letters to cleo - “little rosa” kay hanley on summerland!! nine pound hammer “wrongside of the road” hanson - “with you in your dreams” (3cg demo) hamson on summerland!!! fastbacks - “555, pt. 1″ again... fastbacks on summerland!!! face to face - “sensible” soul asylum - “happy” soul asylum on summerland!!!! television - “see no evil” pinq - “careful not to mention the obvious” the dickies - “nights in white satin” tar - “mel’s” truly - “chlorine” babes in toyland - “deep song” hole - “berry” hellbender - “half driven” hammerhead - “new york? ...alone?” everclear - “malevolent” guzzard - “last” archers of loaf - “tatyana” hum - “stars” hum on summerland die kreuzen - “don’t say please” this is not fair joanna newsom - “sadie” down by law - “peace, love and understanding” nirvana - “aneurysm” (1990 demo) hovercraft - “endoradiosonde” modest mouse - “cowboy dan” rage against the machine - “born of a broken man” skatalites - “scandal ska” pylon - “driving school” the vindictives - “babysitter” jimmy eat world - “ten” the get up kids - “lowercase west thomas” oh we’re doing this now? hot rod circuit - “knees” fine triple fast action - “the rescue” FINE full disclosure i do skip emo diaries tracks at my discretion the amps - “bragging party” everclear - “am radio” this is not fair mxpx - “middlename” MXPX ON SUMMERLAND chokebore - “your let down” bob dylan - “you’re a big girl now” helmet - “primitive” pond - “filterless” blink-182 - “all the small things” local h - “ralph” tar - “over and out” pearl jam - “black” the gits - “sniveling little rat faced git” local h - “eddie vedder” >:) tar - “flow plow” i always misremember this as a subpop single so i’m like “i’m not amphetamine reptile biased?” but it was an a/r release, lol. brad wood produced it. lake michigan as hell unicorns - “jellybones” this song makes me sad ever since i didn’t get to adopt the jellybones cat oblivion - “clark” desmond dekker - “jeserene” veruca salt - “one last time” veruca salt on summerland!!!! dead moon - “dead moon night” extremely dead moon on summerland fishbone - “i like to hide behind my glasses” dead moon - “on my own” paw - “sleeping bag” tar - “goethe” doc dart - “casket with flowers” smashing pumpkins - “zero” i don’t want billy corgan on summerland and i am sorry for that kicking giant - “&” kicking giant on summerland lmao shockabilly - “pile up all architecture” ween - “sorry charlie” sublime - “april 29, 1992 (miami)” heatmiser - “blackout” the clash - “pressure drop” hellbender - “pissant’s retrospective” the queers - “i won’t be” the vindictives - “circles” the beat farmers - “selfish heart” screaming trees - “end of the universe” 7 year bitch - “second hand” bourgeois filth - “above” nirvana - “scoff” the breeders - “cannonball” saturday looks good to me - “save my life” cara beth satalino - “good ones” communique - “dagger version” soul asylum - “sometime to return” sublime - “jailhouse” tullycraft - “twee” nuns - “wild” beyonce - “countdown” the replacements - “sixteen blue” living colour - “what’s your favorite color” britney - “why should i be sad” mdc - “church and state” alice in chains - “junkhead” rage against the machine - “mic check” everclear - “nervous and weird” soundgarden - “fresh tendrils” helmet - “army of me” the gits - “it all dies anyway” pansy division - “smells like queer spirit” mtx - “i’d do anything for you” 5 year sentence - “just a punk” pennywise - “nothing” mudhoney - “thirteenth floor opening” yesterday’s kids - “eighteen” mxpx - “punk rawk show” small brown bike - “zerosum” incubus - “trouble in 421″ hanson - “speechless” incubus - “circles” dead moon - “my time has come” (!!!!) first of all is this killdozer blink-182 - “here’s your letter” everclear - “electra made me blind” (nervous & weird take) saves the day - “through being cool” groovie ghoulies - “don’t go out into the rain (you’re gonna melt)” babes in toyland - “never” husker du - “target” guzzard - “biro” fairweather - “next day flight” mcr - “house of wolves” broadcast - “until then” liz phair - “never said” the dicks - “rich daddy” quasi - “the iron worm” mustard plug - “not again” janitor joe - “boyfriend” snapcase - “new academy” neil young - “someday” blindsided - “spaceman” placebo - “without you i’m nothing” the creeps - “lakeside cabin” solomon grundy - “time is not your own” the clash - “the card cheat” silversun pickups - “common reactor” lagwagon - “leave the light on” denali - “where i landed” system of a down - “highway song” sprinkler - “personality doll” the vindictives - “structure and function” unplugged” the queers - “ursula finally has tits” we’re entering no repeats territory buffalo springfield - “expecting to fly” hit squad - “pictures of matchstick men” cows - “almost a god” hop along - “young and happy” pixies - “i’ve been tired” the fall - “spoilt victorian child” camper van chadbourne - “knock on the door” queens of the stone age - “tension head” choking victim - “war story” cool that we have gotten to drop by the greatest song ever recorded :) guttermount - “happy loving couples” audio karate - “nintendo 89″ tad - “pork chop” the kelley deal 6000 - “where did the home team go” colorfinger - “hateful” :} man or astroman - “evil plans of planet spectra” pere ubu - “arabian nights” accepting repeats for new found glory - “my friends over you” cool moving on american steel - “optimist” tom petty & the heartbreakers - “even the losers” meat puppets - “another moon” black cat music - “wine in a box” wallside - “ready” crucifucks - “pig in a blanket” the bananas - “my charmed life”

KILLDOZER - “EARL SCHEIB,” UNCOMPROMISING WAR ON ART UNDER THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE PROLETARIAT, 1994. KILLDOZER ON SUMMERLAND

#music

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grahamperryondisputeresolution · 3 years

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PREJUDICE DRESSED UP AS “EXPERT COMMENT”

https://grahamperryonchina.com/?p=2290 PREJUDICE DRESSED UP AS “EXPERT COMMENT” - It is interesting to observe how the West’s so-called experts on China wrestle uncomfortably with China’s progress. Their starting point is common to them all – Freedland, Aaronovitch, Finklestein, Lucas, even Kerry Brown and Martin Woolf, to name just a few. China is a dictatorship, and the West is a democracy. They argue and China’s achievements must be discredited for fear that its progress will be copied by other developing countries leading to the rejection of a western human rights approach to government favouring a people-based authoritarian government. They fear that One Man One Vote does not have a future. China must be rejected. Professor Tony Saich of the Harvard Kennedy School is a respected name in academic circles but he, too, in a rush to undermine China’s success, falls into the routine dismissal of the significance of China. His choice of language and emphasis of issues, as he writes about the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party of China (CPC), is quite revealing. First, he credits the Communist Party of the USSR with playing a crucial role in the founding of the Communist Party of China (CPC) – ahead of the role of China’s Communists. Second, Saich asserts that the CPC was very fortunate to survive the Kuomintang(KMT) attack on the Party in 1927. Third, it was again fortunate to defeat the Japanese Occupation between 1937-1945. And then, when Saich feels the obligation to explain China’s success in the Civil War against the KMT, he does so by praising China for “working with bandits with different gangs and groups” So, it wasn’t the Party but the Bandits and the Gangs that brought about the success of the Revolution! When it comes to the defeat of Japan, Saich concludes that the Party was “helped” by the Japanese aggression. He praises the Kuomintang for standing up “to the battering” it endured from Japan, implying that the Party was protected by the KMT and used the Second World War to focus, not on expelling the Japanese, but on preparing for the 3rd Civil War 1945-49 against the KMT. In a phrase, the Party allowed Japan to run rampant in China while the Party put in place plans and initiatives for the post-Japan period. So, Saich concludes, the Party was not patriotic but merely calculating in ensuring that the KMT bore the brunt of the Japanese attack leaving it weak and vulnerable to the CPC push against the KMT after Japan had surrendered. Whilst acknowledging that the Party was flexible and adaptable and avoided institutional rigidity before 1949, it lapsed, says Saich, after gaining power and became the prisoner of ideology which led to the failure of the Great Leap Forward (GLF) and, eventually, to the chaos of the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution (GPCR). Let me be clear, any review of China and its achievements have to comment on the failings of the GLF and the GPCR. They are stand out events in the history of the infant People’s Republic of China and require scrutiny and analysis. Still, so often, that balance is missing as Western experts review the Party’s 100th Anniversary. Thereafter Saich focuses on control, security and Party power in a way that is intended to discredit the Party. But this is not a surprise. Saich and the rest have as their goal the determination to discredit the CPC because it offends the basic cannons of Western Democracy. China’s success of moving from the Sick Man of Asia in 1949 to the leading economic power in the world by 2029 is quite unique, and the people of China have seen almost 1bn people lifted out of poverty. Today the Chinese have a choice of jobs, residence, eateries, travel destinations, clothes, accommodation and holidays. But this is not considered, analysed or reviewed by Western critics. It says nothing about the quite eloquent fact that 140m Chinese travelled abroad without any reports of even one Chinese national seeking asylum in Western countries. Worse still for Saich in particular, the Harvard Kennedy School has noted in a 2020 review that Chinese students and tourists have returned from periods of stay in the US, expressing stronger support for China’s system of government and less support for US democracy. As the saying goes, “Seeing is Believing”. At the end of the day, the Saich approach is without intellectual justification. It is not balanced or objective but imbalanced and subjective. Its purpose is to discredit;- the challenge of China’s system of government, the challenge of China’s achievements; and, the example China offers developing countries in terms of prosperity and stability as it races towards becoming the leading economic power in the world. This was not meant to be. China is “communist, dictatorial, repressive and incapable of bringing long term prosperity to the 1.4bn people of China.” The Western academics and the media opinion-makers continue to get it fundamentally wrong because prejudice, not reason, dominate their approach and perspective. GRAHAM PERRY JULY 2021 - - https://grahamperryonchina.com/?p=2290

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swervestrickland · 7 years

Text

The Game, Pt. 2

Characters: [Y/N], Triple H, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and all the women’s locker room who’s names I can remember

Word Count: 3,873

Warnings: for this chapter, none I think? oh, there’s alcohol involved. that’s about it.

Author’s Note: kinda sad. kinda not. Kevin is in this one at the beginning, because he’s a ball of goodness. I know he is.

Before You Read: The Game, Part 1 requested by @deanammbrose

Tagging: @llowkeys / @mewsburger / @hardcorewwetrash / @blondekel77 / @xxmaddhatter39xx / @crowleysqueenofhell / @unabashedwwesmut / @alexahood21 / @lip-sync / @we-work-hard / @the-geekgoddes / @sjwrites22 / @welshwitch5 / @wrasslin-x / @wrestlewriting / @roman-reigns-princess / @straight-outta-the-asylum / @idekwhatthisis / @wwetrashqueen / @reigns420 / @heelturn-timesten / @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues / @leteverythingexist / @athoughtfulmindwrites / @0-inkmix-0 / @baronesscorbin / @alexahood21 / @smolsassynalilsmartassy / @wrestlingbabe / @wrestlingnoob / @dark-blueheart13 / @birthday-prinxess / @meghanannexx / @thehardyboyz

"Tell me you didn't say that."

"Ugh, I did!" Kevin looked at you like you were fucking insane. "Are you fucking insane?" You hid your face between your hands. "I know, I was an asshole, I know!" "No, you don't fucking know. How could you just brush him off like that?"

It was frustrating, that question. You didn't have the heart to tell him that you weren't entirely sure why you'd done it. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens had been your best friends for nigh on fifteen-ish years. All three of you had started wrestling about the same time, in different places, and had met in the same wrestling promotion. You remembered the night you and Kevin had first seen Sami wrestle. You remembered the moment when Kevin and Sami first wrestled. And you remembered the taste of the milkshakes the three of you had nights after, after meeting each other all for the first time outside of work. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry. A regular Neapolitan blend. You didn't share, and the other two were positively disappointed with you. You had nearly fallen off your stool from laughter. You had clicked with them easily. Sami brought out the goodness in you, he always had. And Kevin had always been the one to help you in anything, any problem and situation that needed fixing. Call him a bastard in the ring, but outside of it he was a sweet man with a heart of gold that just wanted to make sure you were on the right track. And that's why you had come to him, now. That's why you were sitting in a vacant training room in the performance center, hastily whispering, begging for his help. But you should have known this topic wasn't going to be easy. Sami was the one topic in the world that you wouldn't get an unbiased viewpoint for. "I didn't brush him off, I just-" "Then what was it?" His tone was sharp as a dagger. It was beginning to grind away at your very soul. "Huh? Because it sounds an awful lot like you didn't even bother to think about it before you rejected him." "I was fucking scared, okay?" Your hands left your face, tensely dropping at your sides in emphasis. His eyes narrowed, squinting at you. "Of what? Of Sami Zayn? The heart and soul of any wrestling promotion he's ever been a part of? The kindest fucking human being that's ever walked the fucking earth? I don't understand what the hell you could possibly be afraid of, [Y/N]." He crossed his arms, disgusted. "There are fluffy bunnies with more evil in their hearts than Sami Zayn." If his plan was to snap your heart in two, Kevin had accomplished it. If his plan was to make you feel like absolute shit for what you'd done, he accomplished that, too. But it wasn't. He sighed. He could see it, the guilt on your face, the remorse in your eyes. The tears begged to fall. "No, don't. Don't cry." His tone was softer now as he reached for you, wrapping his arms around you to make you feel safe. "I'm sorry," you bawled. "But I didn't know what to say." Your breathing was erratic, sharp intakes of breath followed release in quick succession. "I figured...if...it wasn't...immediate...that I didn't...love him...like he loves me." Your words were sticky with snot. "Fuck, it's okay, sweetheart, it's fine." Kevin's hands reached to stroke your hair, tucking your head under his chin. Quietly, he began to hum, and you could feel every vibration at the top of your head, the French lullaby soothing you slowly. Alouette, gentille alouette Alouette, je te plumerai... You did your best to control your breathing allowing the humming to lull you into relaxation. His singing reminded you of home, even if it was thousands of miles away. je te plumerai la tête

et la tête

alouette

alouette,

oh...

"You okay?" Kevin asked finally, dipping his head to look at your face. You nodded, looking for something to wipe your nose with. Finding nothing, you slumped your shoulders in disappointment, already feeling the embarrassment of your situation reddening your cheeks and causing fresh tears to pool at your eyes. Kevin stroked your cheek softly, wiping at your eyes. Then, showing mild annoyance, he rolled his eyes and pointed at his sleeve, indicating you wipe your nose on it. "Thank you," you whispered, tugging at his sleeve. "Yeah, don't mention it, seriously." He looked away as you soiled his sleeve, more expressions of disgust visible on his face. "When does he get back?" You asked. Kevin thought about it for a minute. "Next week, I think." He looked solemnly at you. "He called me this morning, you know. Asked me how you were doing." "What'd you say to him?" You probed curiously, looking up to meet his eyes. "Said you were fine." He leaned back, sat down on the table next to them. "To be honest, I didn't know. About any of this." Your eyes widened in silent shock. "He didn't tell you?" "No, he didn't. And neither did you, for that matter, best friend." You ignored the jab, though it stung. "He tells you everything." "Yeah, well, not this time. Even more reason to think that it's affecting him badly." You bit your bottom lip in frustration. "Kevin, what should I do?" He sat there, deep in thought. It was a pitiful situation, honestly. You didn't want to hurt Sami's feelings, but you also couldn't reciprocate something you didn't feel. "Depends on what you want. I can't help you fix it unless I know exactly what I'm fixing." "I just want everything to go back to the way it was." Kevin sighed. "That's not gonna happen, sweetheart." "Well..." you whimpered, "I just want him to know I still care for him. I can't give him what he wants, but I want us to be okay. I hope he can understand that." Your words caught in your throat with every sharp inhale and exhale of breath.

"Everything's gonna be fine, [Y/N]," Kevin said, "everything's gonna be all right." He reached out to squeeze your hand, if but for a brief moment, letting his assurance comfort you. "How do you know?" "Because he's Sami Zayn. He loves you and he won't hurt you." He gave you a crooked smile. "Just give him time. D'accord?" Your smile was faint, but genuine. "D'accord."

The next night was NXT. You had a match that you’d win, and then Hunter was set to "appear" backstage, with a congratulations to you on doing so well your first few weeks after your debut. You were going to thank him, put a hand on his shoulder in flirtation and twirl your hair. And Corey, bless his heart, was going to notice. He was going to point it out, talk about how this was all a game with you. You wanted in on the women's title, and you were going to use whatever means it took to get there. The insinuation was TV-14 at best, so it was good that NXT was only on the network.

Everything went as planned. After the segment, Murphy and Blake had a match with the Lucha Dragons, and then Sami showed up on the screen, a video to his fans about how he was doing and when he'd be coming back. You watched him, that sad little smile apparent on his face. You wondered if it was all just for show, if he was doing it because he was “thinking” about what Kevin “did” to him, or if it was because of what you did. Either way, it was enough to make you feel regret. How could you do this to him?

After watching the end of the show, you stood up and opened your locker, changing out of your ring gear. Charlotte, Becky, Sasha, Bayley. They all came barging into the locker room, afury with hushed, giggling whispers. As you pulled your t-shirt over your head, you gave them a questioning look. “What’s all the giggling about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Sasha sang nonchalantly as she opened her locker, “just that Hunter’s invited us all to go out for drinks!”

“Really?” You shot her and the girls a quizzical eyebrow raise. He was taking the four horsewomen out to the bar? Hm.

“Mhm,” Bayley added, “he wants to take us out for drinks because he thinks we’re all doing a great job.”

Charlotte winked at you coyly. “Yeah, that’s why he wants to take us out for drinks.”

You shook your head, trying your best to hide your face from her. “Well, have fun you guys. Don’t get too drunk in front of the boss.”

Becky laughed at you from her seat on the bench, legs spread apart, raising a towel to her neck. “One, I’m Irish, so I don't get drunk. Two,” she said, holding up two fingers, “you’re comin’ too. Emma as well.”

“And me?” Emma asked from behind you. She had been quietly sitting in the background. “Sounds good.”

You turned back to Becky, pointing at yourself. “He invited me?” Your heart skipped a couple beats at the thought.

Bayley smiled. “Yes, of course. You’re part of the women’s revolution too, ya know.”

You looked down, hiding a grin. “All right, then, guess we’re all going. I’ll meet you guys there?”

Sasha came up behind you, hands on your shoulders. “No the heck you won’t. We’re gonna shower and then dress up, do make up, everything. Bayley is amazing at it.”

Bayley blushed, the compliment too much for her. “Stop it, Sasha.”

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, ew. Get a room.”

Alexa walked in, with the same news and the same excitement in her voice. “Guys, this is gonna be so much fun.”

“You know it, sister,” Becky said as she high fived her. “Now let’s get the show on the road.”

At around ten o’clock, you and the girls climbed out of a limo, giggling and laughing as Becky got to the punchline of a very punny joke. The line to the club was long, but it didn’t matter. The bouncer recognized you all immediately, letting you in.

“Hey, girls, good job tonight.”

“Thanks, Freddy! Always our number one fan.”

“Don’t you know it.”

“Thanks, Fred! We love you!”

“Any time, ladies.”

You and the girls made your way through the club, nearly losing track of each other in the mass of dancing, sweaty bodies. The lights flashed, the mob clearly visible in minute heartbeats of color. You followed the girls up the winding stairs to the second floor, VIP, pushing past already drunk couples tripping down the steps as they were negated entry. Another bouncer, another charming, familiar face.

“How y’all doin’, mijitas?” His stare kept on Becky for a good five seconds longer than everyone else.

“Exhausted but glad to be out! You?” Becky conversed with him, twirling a strand of hair and giving him a wink.

“Ready for this shift to end. Y’all be careful. Lotta vagabundos out tonight.”

“Amen to that, you too, Eduardo.”

“See ya, chicas.”

He lifted the rope for you all to pass. When Becky was out of earshot, she came and flanked you, placed her hand to your ear. “Ed could get it, no question.”

You grinned, looking back to where Eduardo stood, hands behind his back, dressed in an all black suit and tie. Hair gelled back, stubble lining his chiseled jaw. “Yeah, he could,” came your reply, to the dismay of Becky.

“Keep your hands to yourself, woman, that’s my man!”

You put your hand to your mouth, covering your sudden burst of laughter. “I’m kidding, Bex, he’s all yours.”

You stopped when you saw the rest of the girls had already made it to their table, Hunter kissing each of them on the cheek in greeting.

Damn, he looks good, you thought, earning yourself a good mental smack. He was dressed formally, a different suit from the one he wore to the show tonight, yet it felt like his sexiness was bursting through the roof. The top buttons of his dress shirt were unbuttoned, and you could see the tan skin and blondish hairs of his chest. His suit jacket was slung across the side of the booth, you noticed. Casual, friendly, yet sophisticated. God, this man was too much.

“[Y/N], nice to see you out and about.”

When he got to you, you froze for a second, heart beating slightly faster. What the fuck was this? How was he doing this to you? You shook the thoughts away, leaning forward to receive your kiss on the cheek in greeting. When you pulled back from the hug and kiss, he held your hand for what seemed like minutes longer than the rest of them, gaze holding your own, until he suddenly let go and called for a waiter to order drinks. Maybe you were just imagining the lapse of time. It can’t have been longer than a few seconds.

You sat down next to Emma, who cocked an eyebrow at you, but said nothing. All of you sat there, chattering amongst yourselves, Becky with Charlotte, Sasha and Bayley with Hunter, you and Emma and Alexa, content to just be away from work. When the drinks arrived, Sasha downed hers in seconds, waiting for Charlotte to do the same so that they could finally go down to the dance floor. Sasha stood up, grabbed Charlotte’s hand and winked at her flirtatiously, with remarks from Bayley and Becky begging them to “get a room!” to the giggles of the other girls who had been in the locker room earlier that night. Hunter, confused, watched them from behind his glass of Jack Daniels, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“All right, get up, you two,” Becky said, motioning Bayley and Emma to follow her lead. “Looks like Ed’s shift is over and I want to convince him to stay for a dance. I need my wing women.”

“Oh,” you said, shifting to move, “let me g-”

“No, you sit your sweet little arse down for two more drinks at least. I don’t want you near my man, and Bayley’s got ya covered, she needs to learn how to be a wing woman, anyhow.” You looked to Bayley, who smiled to hide how nervous she was. You gave her a thumbs up and a wink, wishing her luck as she trailed behind Emma and Bex. As they left, you could hear Emma asking, “and what makes you think I won’t steal your man from under you as well?”

Shaking your head, you turned to face Alexa, only to find that she was gone, flirting with a man in a corner of the VIP lounge. The only other person left, you realized with a jolt of your stomach, was Hunter.

“Heya, Hunter.”

“[Y/N]. You're not gonna leave me by myself, too, are you?”

“Absolutely not,” you smiled confidently, taking a sip of Alexa’s pink drink, though deep down you were positively brimming with anxiety. “How are you?”

He scoffed, taken aback by the question. One hand grazed his jaw, thinking it over. “It’s funny, no one really asks me that.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What? Why’s that?”

He looked intently into your eyes. “I’m your boss. Your superior. In most cases, people only ever ask ‘how are you’ in passing, but no one expects a real answer.” A smirk played on his lips. “But you sound genuine. Like you actually want to know.”

“Well, I do want to know.”

He chuckled in response. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

You looked at him, studied the face hard from years of working under the guise of corporate professionalism. The feared Triple H. The Game. The King of Kings. As a younger woman, you remembered what he was like when his career was just inside a twenty by twenty. He was hot stuff, the next big thing after Stone Cold Steve Austin. But weirdly enough, you could never remember the last time you saw him looking happy.

As in, actually happy. Not just the professionally friendly face he showed all of you as your boss.

The wrinkles between his eyebrows gave away too much, even if his face remained stoic and his body was like that of a demigod. “You’re lying.”

You don't know what made you say that. Accusing your boss of lying. What a way to close every door door of opportunity that might have been available to you, had you just kept your mouth shut.

Instead of getting you fired immediately on the spot, Hunter just looked at you, a casual smirk visible for a moment. “You’re right,” he peered down at his drink, lifted it to his lips, “I am.”

So he was unhappy. Regardless of his NXT slowly becoming the most loved and most innovative brand on the WWE, he was unsatisfied. You wondered, sadly, what had happened to his soul. There was something there, something that you couldn't recall even though you dug through the deepest recesses of your adolescent memories to find it.

You shook the thoughts away. Whatever it was, it would come to you later. Beating yourself up about it now would do no good. You grabbed another one of the girls’ unfinished drinks and downed it in one gulp, set the glass down, admiring how awfully disgusting it was as you squinted and pursed your lips. The liquid burned through your veins quickly, and it wasn't long before you began to feel a euphoric buzz.

It was then you realized it wasn't just your head that was buzzing. You looked down at your phone, gut wrenching in panic and disbelief as you read the caller ID: SAMI ZAYN.

He was calling you. But it wasn't the right time. Not when you were already closing in on inebriated. You ignored it, every fiber of your being rationalizing the move as logical, placing your phone back in your jacket pocket.

“That was absolutely disgusting. Come dance with me.”

“Excuse me?” Hunter’s voice bordered on astonished, his eyes admiring you in respect at your strange request.

“Come on, get up,” you managed to stand, the mixture of drinks in your system getting the better of your judgement as you ordered your boss around. “Let’s go, big guy, you’re going to dance with me.”

His eyes gleamed playfully as he stood up, fingers reaching for your elbow just in case he needed to steady you on your feet. “Am I?”

“Damn right ya fuckin’ are, let’s go, chop chop.” Your hands clapped together, earning a burst of laughter from the man.

But true to his maturity, he ignored the drunken demands and went with you, helping you down the steps to the first floor.

“Hunter, nice to see you down - [Y/N], are you drunk already?” Charlotte gasped, lifting your chin as you shook your head no.

“I think she’s a lightweight,” Hunter grinned, pleasantly amused.

“I’m not a lightweight, but damn, is it getting hot in here.” You shook your jacket off your shoulders, handing it to Hunter.

Sasha appeared from the midst of the mob, grabbing you and pulling you towards the middle of the dance floor. “You, dancing, now,” she ordered.

Charlotte turned back to face Hunter. “You comin’, Hunter? We’ll dance with you, it’ll be fun.”

“No, you guys go on ahead. I need another drink, I’ll be at the bar.” His hands were fidgeting as he reached to unbutton another button from his shirt. Was it getting hot in here? He squared his shoulders, standing at the counter, one finger up to catch the attention of the bartender. He glanced back to the dance floor, his gaze steadying on you.

You were buzzing like nobody’s business, grinding all up on Sasha and Charlotte as they whooped and hollered, egging you on.

Hunter couldn't seem to hold back a smile, as he saw you pull some moves he hadn't seen in years. As you danced, his eyes gingerly darted away from your face and down to your body, staring at the sequined fabric rising higher up your thigh, the delicate way that your fingers grazed at your skin, the gleaming drops perspiring at the crevice between your breasts. God, you were doing things to him that you didn't know and couldn't understand.

He shuffled around, taking another sip of his drink, enjoying the burning sensation as the elixir ran down his throat. He growled, swallowing the feeling you elicited from him.

“I see you,” Alexa sang quietly, causing Hunter’s gaze to break from your skin. Had he been anyone else, he might have jumped at her voice. As it was, Triple H couldn't be and was never caught off guard, at least not entirely.

“And I see you, Miss Bliss. Where had you gone off to?”

“Me?” She asked, the color rising in her cheeks. How easy it was to misdirect someone who had yet to come into her own. But he had a feeling he’d make a performer of her yet. “Oh, nowhere.”

She pulled her black choker higher up her throat, but not before he caught the crimson mark of a hickey at the crook of her neck and shoulder. “Of course,” he said as he raised a brow and his glass, “nowhere. You girls really need to learn how to lie better.”

She blushed again, scurrying away to find you and the rest of the girls.

He watched as she joined you at the start of a new song, your hips swaying to the gentler beat of the music, as your hands grazed the edges of your curves, drawing them closer up your body, and he could’ve sworn he saw you squeeze your breasts together, before raising your hands above your head. As if you were taunting him. As if you were knowingly flirting with him from across the room.

He shook his head at the thought, looking away. Impossible. Improbable. Ludicrous.

No way in hell.

You were fucking wasted, and that was that. There was no way you were doing this with the intent to fluster him.

Or were you?

The phone in your jacket pocket began to buzz. Hunter looked at the caller ID. SAMI ZAYN. He wondered if he should answer, remembering what he had witnessed weeks before.

Yeah, he thought, I’ll answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I - wait, you’re not [Y/N].” Sami sounded taken aback, stunned.

“No, Sami, it’s me, Hunter. I took her out for drinks. She’s on the dance floor right now, having the time of her life.” He left out the bit where the two of you were not alone.

“Oh, um, I wasn’t aware that - uh, never mind. C-could, could you tell her I called?”

“Sure thing, Sami. I’ll see you in couple days, right?”

“D-definitely, of course. See ya, boss.”

Hunter hung up the phone, deleted the call from Recents, and placed your phone back in your jacket pocket, his face hiding his thoughts.

He wasn’t going to tell you Sami called, and that was the end of it.

Part Three

Last Note: wow so....I’m really getting into this. Tell me what you think??? Thanks, babes! - Emiliana

#wwe #wwe imagine #triple h imagine #sami zayn #kevin owens #triple h #mine #my fics #text

124 notes · View notes

amypca · 4 years

Photo

Seduced by Art: Photography Past and Present - Book by Hope Kingsley .

I found this book PDF online that study’s the nature of art involved in photography - Past and Present. 'Seduced by Art' takes a provocative look at how photographers use fine art traditions, including Old Master painting, to explore and justify the possibilities of their art. Right from the beginning, photography dared to claim traditional ‘high art’ subjects as its own. Far from being a general survey, the exhibition draws attention to one particular and rich strand of photography’s history, in major early works by the greatest British and French practitioners alongside photographs by an international array of contemporary artists. It delves into the beauty involved around time and how the change of appearance that be what we have made of it. I have picked out the key points I took from reading this and referencing them to what I have learned from the art shown -

Pioneering Photographers -

Louis Daguerre

Daguerre’s invention did not spring to life fully grown, although in 1839 it may have seemed that way. In fact, Daguerre had been searching since the mid-1820s for a means to capture the fleeting images he saw in his camera obscura, a draftsman’s aid consisting of a wood box with a lens at one end that threw an image onto a frosted sheet of glass at the other. In 1829, he had formed a partnership with Nicéphore Niépce, who had been working on the same problem—how to make a permanent image using light and chemistry—and who had achieved primitive but real results as early as 1826. - With this section pointing out that Louis Daguerre introduced the first photographic purpose and stating that each dagueriotype was unique.

William Henry Fox Talbot

Some five years before Daguerre went public, the British inventor Fox Talbot was making good progress with his version of photography at Laycock Abby, Which I had the pleasure of visiting on last years trip that allowed me to broaden my concept of overall photographic boundaries. Talbot’s use of negative and positive become the basis for almost all 19th to 20th century photographs. Where as the daguerreotype died out 30 only years after it’s beginning. This section is a clear reminder of the learning of beginning and how both photographers pasted down their knowledge.

Expression & Memory: Portrait Photographs -

For centuries a painted or sculpted portrait was the only way to record a face, be it a king, a hero, a socialite or celebrity. The invention of photography in 1839 changed all this, giving many aspiring photographers the opportunity to earn a good living recording the middle class in formal studio portraits. The poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, in common with many others, was entranced by the new photographic portraits. She preferred them to a fine art portrait ‘not in respect (or disrespect) of Art, but for Love’s sake’ she wrote, describing her feeling that the photograph was a closer description of the features of a loved one. The first time she saw a daguerreotype she described it as ‘like engravings – only exquisite and delicate beyond the work of a graver’. It is strange to reflect that prior to photography by far the majority would never have possessed an image of a loved one. A painted portrait was of course a hugely time consuming, and consequently expensive process – inevitably a privilege for the rich. The affordability of the daguerreotype made portraits available to a much wider group. The art critic P. G. Hamerton wrote in 1860: ‘A poor soldier’s wife can now get a more authentic miniature of her husband for one shilling, than a rich lady could have procured a century ago for a hundred pounds’.

This part explained the importance that can come from remembering old expression art and incorporating it into my own photography.

For example (Below):

Martin Parr - A sign of the times:

In relation to Mr and Mrs Andrews By Thomas Gainsborough:

STUDIES OF TIME AND BEAUTY: STILL LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY.

Although ostensibly still life is a collection of inanimate objects assembled to demonstrate an artist’s skill, throughout the history of art the still life has often been rich with meaning, containing symbols of war, religion, sex and death. Contemporary photographers continue to explore and reinvigorate the genre. Dutch 17th-century art is arguably the richest for still life. Artists such as Balthasar van der Ast specialised in the genre, concentrating their astonishing skills on the depiction of flowers and insects. Such works can provide a seductive illusion, celebrating the beauty and opulence of the natural world and appealing to all our senses: sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing. But flowers wilt and insects die. Likewise our lives are transient and ephemeral. These phases of life are a part of the vanitas tradition, where beauty is but a passing thing and death is always closing in. Vanitas means emptiness in Latin and expresses the transitory and meaningless nature of material existence.

Sam Taylor wood - Still Life

Supper at Emmaus (Caravaggio, Milan)

WILD POETRY

In 1868, the French critic Ernest Chesneau called landscape painting ‘a place of asylum, apart from the devouring activity, the continuous fever of the city’. In today’s fast- paced world, a contemporary photographer of landscape might agree. In Western art, landscape played an increasingly important role from the 16th century onwards. But it was not until after the industrial revolution, that the natural world became more revered and celebrated; the painting of landscape came to be seen as an important genre in its own right. Landscapes could be seen as a way of contemplating the beauty of the natural world, reflecting the spiritual in man’s nature. The rise in the importance of landscape painting coincided with the invention of the camera; from the outset photographers were wrestling with many of the same issues as the painters. Both paintings and photographs of landscape in the 19th century reflected a desire to escape the rigours of modern life and the increasingly industrial world.

Gustave Le Gray (1820–1884) The Great Wave, Sète

Although Gray captures transitory effects, his process was anything but instantaneous. The comparatively slow shutter speeds available to him at the time made it impossible to create this scene in one shot. Instead, he innovatively combined three: he added the clouds from a different negative and the immediate foreground from another.

Peder Balke (1804–1887) The Tempest, about 1862

In this small painting, no larger than an envelope, Peder Balke captures the eye of a storm in his native Norway. He communicates nature at its most violent; two boats are in danger of being overwhelmed by the giant waves which have been painted at speed and with incredible freedom. The limited palette of white, grey and black tones is both arresting and reminiscent of a photographic plate.

TO CONCLUDE ON MY RESEARCH:

Through depictions of the then and now of some of the most historic and interesting paintings/photographs I have found that all art created in originated from an original in some form - whether it be on purpose or not we find our images relating to art in composition or lighting that link them together. The reason I read into this is because I wanted to get an understanding copying through the ages - which is essentially what I will be doing for my first shoot with comparing past to present in an editing process - this was indeed amplified when researching about Louis Daguerre and the process that lead him to create a following in his name. Another I found particularly interesting was the Martin Parr - Sign of the times image being similar to the Mr and Mrs Andrews By Thomas Gainsborough, it just shows me how much I can take away from this and think about the kind of narratives that can be performed through staging or through everyday. The Sam Taylor wood animation was extremely interesting as the photo acts as the reminder of whats to come. To conclude, I found this PDF exhilarating to look into and is a great help when understanding my main focus and possible methods as it resides with the times.

PDF LINK:

https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/media/31355/notes_seduced-by-art.pdf

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jasvvy · 2 years

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down with TIDDIES

#AWR #asylum wrestling revolution #deathmatches #akira #mickie knuckles

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brookstonalmanac · 4 years

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Events 3.31

307 – After divorcing his wife Minervina, Constantine marries Fausta, daughter of the retired Roman Emperor Maximian. 1146 – Bernard of Clairvaux preaches his famous sermon in a field at Vézelay, urging the necessity of a Second Crusade. Louis VII is present, and joins the Crusade. 1492 – Queen Isabella of Castile issues the Alhambra Decree, ordering her 150,000 Jewish and Muslim subjects to convert to Christianity or face expulsion. 1561 – The city of San Cristóbal, Táchira is founded. 1717 – A sermon on "The Nature of the Kingdom of Christ" by Benjamin Hoadly, the Bishop of Bangor, preached in the presence of King George I of Great Britain, provokes the Bangorian Controversy. 1774 – American Revolutionary War: The Kingdom of Great Britain orders the port of Boston, Massachusetts closed pursuant to the Boston Port Act. 1854 – Commodore Matthew Perry signs the Convention of Kanagawa with the Tokugawa Shogunate, opening the ports of Shimoda and Hakodate to American trade. 1885 – The United Kingdom establishes the Bechuanaland Protectorate. 1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened. 1899 – Malolos, capital of the First Philippine Republic, is captured by American forces. 1906 – The Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States (later the National Collegiate Athletic Association) is established to set rules for college sports in the United States. 1909 – Serbia formally withdraws its opposition to Austro-Hungarian actions in the Bosnian Crisis. 1913 – The Vienna Concert Society rioted during a performance of modernist music by Arnold Schoenberg, Alban Berg, Alexander von Zemlinsky, and Anton von Webern, causing a premature end to the concert due to violence; this concert became known as the Skandalkonzert. 1917 – According to the terms of the Treaty of the Danish West Indies, the islands become American possessions. 1918 – Massacre of ethnic Azerbaijanis is committed by allied armed groups of Armenian Revolutionary Federation and Bolsheviks. Nearly 12,000 Azerbaijani Muslims are killed. 1918 – Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time. 1921 – The Royal Australian Air Force is formed. 1930 – The Motion Picture Production Code is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film, in the U.S., for the next thirty-eight years. 1931 – An earthquake in Nicaragua destroys Managua; killing 2,000. 1931 – A Transcontinental & Western Air airliner crashes near Bazaar, Kansas, killing eight, including University of Notre Dame head football coach Knute Rockne. 1933 – The Civilian Conservation Corps is established with the mission of relieving rampant unemployment in the United States. 1942 – World War II: Japanese forces invade Christmas Island, then a British possession. 1945 – World War II: A defecting German pilot delivers a Messerschmitt Me 262A-1, the world's first operational jet-powered fighter aircraft, to the Americans, the first to fall into Allied hands. 1949 – The Dominion of Newfoundland joins the Canadian Confederation and becomes the 10th Province of Canada. 1951 – Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau. 1957 – Elections to the Territorial Assembly of the French colony Upper Volta are held. After the elections PDU and MDV form a government. 1958 – In the Canadian federal election, the Progressive Conservatives, led by John Diefenbaker, win the largest percentage of seats in Canadian history, with 208 seats of 265. 1959 – The 14th Dalai Lama, crosses the border into India and is granted political asylum. 1964 – Brazilian General Olímpio Mourão Filho orders his troops to move towards Rio de Janeiro, beginning the coup d'état. 1966 – The Soviet Union launches Luna 10 which later becomes the first space probe to enter orbit around the Moon. 1968 – American President Lyndon B. Johnson speaks to the nation of "Steps to Limit the War in Vietnam" in a television address. At the conclusion of his speech, he announces: "I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your President." 1970 – Explorer 1 re-enters the Earth's atmosphere after 12 years in orbit. 1980 – The Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad operates its final train after being ordered to liquidate its assets because of bankruptcy and debts owed to creditors. 1985 – The first WrestleMania, the biggest wrestling event from the WWE (then the WWF), takes place in Madison Square Garden in New York City. 1990 – Approximately 200,000 protesters take to the streets of London to protest against the newly introduced Poll Tax. 1991 – Georgian independence referendum: Nearly 99 percent of the voters support the country's independence from the Soviet Union. 1992 – The USS Missouri, the last active United States Navy battleship, is decommissioned in Long Beach, California. 1992 – The Treaty of Federation is signed in Moscow. 1995 – TAROM Flight 371, an Airbus A310-300, crashes near Balotesti, Romania, killing all 60 people on board. 1995 – Selena is murdered by her fan club's president Yolanda Saldívar at a Days Inn in Corpus Christi, Texas after accusations of Saldívar embezzling money from Selena's fan club. 1998 – Netscape releases Mozilla source code under an open source license. 2004 – Iraq War in Anbar Province: In Fallujah, Iraq, four American private military contractors working for Blackwater USA, are killed after being ambushed. 2018 – Start of the 2018 Armenian revolution.

#Events

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cubaverdad · 7 years

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Cubans Feel Like Hostages to Both Castro and Trump

Cubans Feel Like Hostages to Both Castro and Trump / Iván García Ivan Garcia, 19 June 2017 — "Impotence." This is the word that a performer in the Guiñol Theater (located in the basement of the FOCSA building in Havana's Vedado district) uses when asked her opinion of the new Trump Doctrine regarding Cuba. On a day of African heat, a group of eight waits to navigate the Internet in a hall administered by the state-run telecommunications monopoly ETECSA. The performer exchanges opinions with the others regarding the event of the week: the repeal by Donald Trump's administration of Obama's policy of détente. On the street, for those Cubans who earn only token salaries, breakfast on coffee alone and complain constantly about the inefficiency of public services and the government's inability to improve the quality of life, political machination is just an annoyance. Human Rights, democracy and political liberties all sound good, but they are not understood in their full context. At least, this is what can be deduced from the opinions expressed by the people waiting in line. Some make clear that they are speaking from their personal perspective, that they watched Trump on Telesur but have yet to read the measures for themselves. For lack of time, and the propaganda fatigue brought on by the barrage from the official press–which has caused many compatriots to decide to not keep up with news reports but instead take shelter in social-media gossip–the group waiting to go online is shooting to kill in all directions. "Everybody talks about 'the people,' about the 'dissidents,' about the Cuban American congressmen over there, about the government over here, but nobody has hit on the formula for us to derive benefits from a particular policy. Obama tried, but the gerontocracy that rules us did not allow private business owners to get ahead. I feel like a hostage, to Castro and to Trump. A puppet," the performer confesses. One lady, a loquacious and chain-smoking housewife, asks, in a tone of disgust, "What have the people gained from Obama's policy? Nothing." And she explains to herself, "Those people (the government) don't want to change. They will not give up," she says ironically, "the honey of power. Trump is a crazy man, a clown. The guy is a pill. His speech was pure theater. It's all cheap politicking. And in the middle of it all, we Cubans are–and will remain–screwed. Nobody can change this [regime], and nobody can take it down, either." A self-employed worker affirms that he does not see a solution to Cubans' problems because "we haven't had the balls to confront the arbitrariness of the government. To hold on and and get screwed, that's our fate. With all his yammering, the only thing Trump will achieve is that the 'revolutionary reaffirmation' marches will start up again, condemning 'yankee interference.' You can already see that coming." At a park in Old Havana there are no optimists to be found, either. On the contrary. "Damn, brother, I thought that The One was going to put back the Wet-Foot/Dry-Foot law. The only way this shit's going to be resolved is letting people leave Cuba. You think that over here the folks are going to sign up with the Ladies in White to get beaten up? No, man, people will mind their own business, getting by under the table and trying to scrape together a few pesos. There is no way that Cubans will take to the streets. Unless it's to get in line at foreign consulates, or if Gente de Zona put on a free concert," declares a young man in the Parque del Curita, waiting for the P-12 line to Santiago de las Vegas. Almost 60 years since the protracted and sterile political arm-wrestling between the various US administrations and the Castro brothers, a broad segment of the citizenry sees itself caught in a no-man's land–in a futile battle for which nobody, not the Cuban rulers nor the US, has asked their permission. They think also that political naiveté has always reigned supreme in the White House, given the oft-repeated intentions to export democratic values to a fraternity of autocrats with the mentality of gangsters and neighborhood troublemakers. "It is a narrative replete with personal ambitions, pseudo-patriotic elation and cheap nationalism, which has served only to consolidate a history of sovereign and intransigent rulers who never allowed North American interference. It's fine for a tale, but this politics of confrontation on both sides has left only one winner: the regime of Fidel and Raúl Castro. The rest of us have been the losers. Those who were not in agreement with the Revolution or who wanted to emigrate were called 'gusanos' [worms]. Families were split up and kept from having contact with relatives in the US. The result of all this is what we see today: a great number of Cubans who cannot tolerate those who think differently from them, many who want to emigrate, women who don't want to have children in their homeland and, in general, a great indifference on the part of citizens towards the problems of their country," explains a Havana sociologist. The official reaction has been restrained. For now. A functionary with the Communist Party assures me that "the government is not going to wage a frontal campaign to discredit Trump. Yes, of course, the various institutions of the State will mobilize to demonstrate that the government has it all under control. But Trump's speech was more noise than substance. Except for the matter of US citizens' travel to Cuba, which undoubtedly will affect the national economy, the rest [of the Obama-era policies] remains in place, because the military-run businesses are only two hotels. The owner of a paladar [private restaurant] in Havana believes that "if the yumas [Cuban slang for Americans] stop coming there will be effects on the private sector, because almost all of them stay in private homes, travel around the city in convertible almendrones [classic cars], and eat lunch and dinner in private paladares." The news was not good for Cubans who had plans to emigrate to the US. "Many dreamers thought that Trump was a cool guy and would reinstate the Wet-Foot/Dry-Foot policy. I was not expecting as much, but I thought at least that the Cuban-American congressmen would influence Trump's allowing the exceptional granting of visas to Cubans stuck in Central America, Mexico and the Caribbean, and reactivating the asylum for Cuban medical workers who have deserted their missions," said a engineer who dreams of resettling in Miami. The perception right now among Cubans on the street is that they are back to a familiar scenario. One of trenches. Replete with anti-imperialist rhetoric and zero tolerance for liberal thought of any stripe. The scenario most favorable for the hierarchs who dress in olive green. Translated by Alicia Barraqué Ellison Source: Cubans Feel Like Hostages to Both Castro and Trump / Iván García – Translating Cuba - http://ift.tt/2rITCzW via Blogger http://ift.tt/2sNpk05

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