#at first i was like NORMAL TYPE?? but yeah..... i would be normal type if it meant i just had a whole team of bears

[reallyromealone]

Title: fae love

Fandom: none

Characters: original character (orc), reader

Fic type: nsfw, story

Pairings: orc x male reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, nsfw, smut, reader has some description, boy pussy term used, reader is a fae, chaotic reader

Notes: I thought I posted this but I didn't, this is super indulgent, and yeah. Normally this would go through Patreon first but I'm feeling kind

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

(name) smiled as he was carried by the giant orc that was his mate, a towering ten feet tall to (name) 's five feet four inches, the pretty fae kissing the orc's olive cheek sweetly as they went back to their farm, a sweet little farm in the woods outside of town "I told you no more fires in non agreed fireplaces" he said gruffly to (name) who just smiled "you're the one who chose to become fated mates with me~"

The Orc sighed, looking at the gold ring on (name) 's finger and the wedding necklace, indeed he chose (name) for marriage, he did love his chaotic husband.

(Name) often treated his husband like a jungle gym, the tiny fae usually resting on his shoulder as he went about things and used his magic for various tasks "My love, please... You're awful at cooking" he swatted (name)s hand away when (name) tried to help by adding flower petals to the stew "but they make the stew look magical ~!" Was (name) 's reasoning as he watched the other stir the rabbit and vegetable soup "I added extra (vegetable), magical enough?" The orc gently kissed the other calf, tusks grazing (name) 's flesh, and (name) giggled "You romantic~"

(Name) always sat in his husband's lap when they ate and spoke about their days, (name) in the woods building little homes for the mouse village as they wanted to expand--- thankfully their building supplies were primarily popsicle sticks, the Orc gladly letting his love do that, especially since the mouse folk traded for mushrooms and herbs they find, it also kept (name) from causing mischief amongst the fae wilds, the two living outside the fae wild portal ring and often seeing passerbys that (name) would prank (read: setting their shoes on fire).

It was always a serene affair.

Well for (name).

When bedtime came, (name) carefully took off his jewelry as did his husband, removing any makeup for the night against the candlelight "Oh..." (Name) whispered as he felt his love's large hards easily spread his legs, rubbing the inside of his thighs "been energetic these days, causing problems..." The orc said as (name) leaned into his broad chest and felt the other large cock against his ass "Have no output for this energy..." (Name) said back breathlessly as he already imagined the sweet stretch of the other cock "need something... Big to help me relax" he cooed and grinned impishly when his large husband tossed him on the giant bed, something they invested in long ago.

The orc pulled down his pants, large girthy cock erect and heavy, a deep red tip that slowly turned green "pretty.." fourteen inches that (name) couldn't help but feel giddy as he crawled to the other and gently took the others cock in his hands, kissing the tip sweetly as he stroked the shaft with both hands, taking the tip into his mouth as he gently placed his hands on his abdomen and a womb tattoo appeared, already using magic to keep his body intact so the other could fill him fully, essentially an infinity spell to not kill him.

The taste of pre-cum made (name) hazy, fae pre-cum and the likes were aphrodisiacs, (name) 's eyes heavy as the effects of the tattoo began "Gonna take me well... Always do" the orc grumbled as he watched (name) stroke him off and trying to take him but sadly he just couldn't fit him in, not without using magic to warp his body.

And last time that happened it was horrific when he let (name) do the magic using.

Jaw unhinging and face distorting...the poor orc couldn't look at his husband the same for a week.

"Lemme see that ass" (name) let himself be manhandled into his husband's hold, upside down as he held onto the other cock while being held in the air, letting out a shaky breath when he felt his loves tongue lick from his balls to his ass and circling his hot tongue around the rim as (name) shakily stroked the orcs cock as his husband's long tongue went down to curl around (name)s cock, average in size but tiny to the massive orc who felt the aphrodisiac affects himself as his large fingers pushed into (name)s ass.

(Name) Whined and moaned as he felt himself fall apart, clinging onto the other's cock like a lifeline as his ass was finger fucked and his cock licked methodically "Please... Need it..." He needed that itch scratched, yelping when his husband smacked his ass "Behave" the other grunted as his tusks scraped (name)s lower ass cheeks.

(Name) Was manhandled onto his back, for a moment he felt giddy thinking he was getting the other big cock but let out a loud cry as his husband's index middle and ring finger fucked his ass aggressively, veins showing up on the orc's arms as he fucked as hard as he could against (name)s prostate as (name) climaxed hard but the other continued fucking through his climax, watching intensely.

He could barely muster words, the two having a safe word as their sessions got... Intense so the mewls of "stop" and "I can't!" Fell on deaf ears as the orc grinned at his lover's fucked out expression as he slowly pulled his wet fingers out "Your little ass-pussy is ready... You good there baby boy?" He asked as (name) whined "please..." (Name) Begged as he let his husband kiss him slowly, lining his giant cock to (name)s poor entrance and pushing in, shushing his whined at the sensation. no matter how many times they did it, it still stung as the orc slowly bottomed out.

"You did so good, my love" the orc soothed him as he let (name) adjust, no matter how much prep the sweet face needed to adjust for a few minutes as his body twitched helplessly "Big..." (Name) Whined as he felt his husband kiss stray tears.

The two stayed like this for a few moments before (name) gave the ok and the other slowly began thrusting, pushing out to the tip and pushing in, with each thrust he slowly picked up speed. "Oh! Fuck!" (Name) Gasped as he felt the other's balls slap against his ass, hips bruising as he was fucked like a doll.

"More!"

"Yes!"

"O-oh!"

Climaxes and moans, scratches and bites were all the things that (name) got and gave as his legs stretched with a slight burn, riding his beloved as his wings stretched out, previously hidden with magic as a harsh climax rolled through and the dust from his wings lifting them slightly "yes! Fuck me with that cock!" (Name) Scratched down the other's chest as he developed more fae features, unable to keep his magic back.

"Gonna cum in that pretty hole, take it all!" (Name) Collapsed as he was stuffed, stomach bulging as his husband filled his belly with cum.

"There... Keep you from setting trees on fire for a few days..."

#x male reader #male reader #smut #orc x reader #orc x male reader #fantasy

[mixelation]

thinking about tori's chunin exam (the second one) again

one thing i want to play with is tori just having a completely different mindset from everyone, especially when it comes to the point of tests. because her origin story is being a high-strung pre med student, she is acutely aware that tests frequently have more to do with how you understand the exam rather than the material. like yeah, you have to know your shit, but you're unlikely to get into the top percentile unless you ALSO understand the game.

and growing up in oto just reinforces this. you think orochimaru is testing you on the thing he asked you to do? no!! there's seven other secret tests baked into the thing! look underneath the underneath!!

so anyway, tori is very aware that she's being tested on her ninja skills, BUT ALSO on a bunch of other stuff. second round survival portion? you mean her being able to size up potential opponents and, if she plays her cards right, pick who gets into the tournament? why would she try to finish first.... she needs to stalk other contestants and see what they do.

the tournament part she's been explicitly told is for her to show off for Konoha. tori's normal style.... doesn't really loan itself to showing off. so she goes in with a premade plan for a Very Cool Looking Convoluted Jutsu, and now she's shopping for the perfect genin to unleash it on. she is going to pick off genin she DOESN'T think will work with her plan. so she's gone into multiple levels of Off The Rails here

shisui at team 2: they're testing your ability to function in an unknown environment. your goal should be to get to the finish line while minimizing damage

tori: yeah but, see, you can also PICK your opponents for the tournament

shisui: i guess that's technically true. you might be able to pick off a stronger opponent in a setting where you can work as a team, and that will benefit you in the tournament. but you should only attempt that if the opportunity arises and also points strongly in your favor

tori: i mean if you plan enough, you can make anything happen :)

shisui: but it shouldn't be a priority

tori: besides, you don't want to pick off the strongest possible opponents, because the point of the tournament isn't even to win. it's to show off. so you want to shop for genin whose fighting styles are impressive enough it looks good when you beat them, but that you can exploit and--

team 2: what

shisui: tori PLEASE stop giving advice. they are genin

anyway, tori can bias the tournament to a certain TYPE of genin (for her grand plan she wants kiri kids with swords, which is like half the entrants) but she can't seed the tournament. so she unleashes her Cool Convoluted Jutsu second round and then in the finals is like. whelp. i did with i came here to do.

finalist genin: your trick won't work twice!!

tori: cool

tori: (hits him directly in the head with a bamboo pole)

anyway the Mood of this whole arc is that tori is silently freaking out and high anxiety the entire time because she's been given like seventeen goals (win the tournament, but do it in a specific way, also don't melt people that's bad PR--)

but from the outside it DOES look like she just played the whole tournament like a mildly friendly supervillain

shisui, whose previous concept of "young genius" was just "beast modes the challenges," NOT "itachi playing 5D chess in his spare time for no reason": TORI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

kisame: lmao. you're in over your head with that one, kid

shisui: ???

#reborn au

[skittishlikefromthewar]

my favorite headcanon to ponder is that as soon as they enter the Champions League - and it becomes official that this level of cardiovascular training is going to become Jamie's new longterm normal - Roy immediately bans him from running on pavement (so that he'll still have cartilage in his knees by age 60, and because no trainer ever cared enough to do that for Roy and he's gonna do better by Jamie if it kills him).

However...

--they can't limit all his running to a treadmill or track either, because that's a GREAT way to get hurt when he's on the pitch. 

Cue a hilarious montage of Jamie biking to some park, folding the bike to carry over a shoulder while running through said park, hopping back on the bike once he reaches the road, biking until he reaches a grass/dirt track along the river, running until the dirt track runs out, biking again, etc.

Cut to a shot of Roy frowning studiously because This Isn't Working Out, before he turns to Jamie and dead-serious, he asks, "Can you run the pavement on your hands?"

And Jamie is 😭😭😭 on the inside but verbally he's just "uh....yeah! Yeah sure I mean yeah no don't think so but yeah sure yeah why not I'll give it a go?"

Cut to Jamie managing seven whole haphazard steps in a handstand before, "aiyeeee..." and a close-up of Roy cringing with his fists over his mouth. 

Cut to Roy frowning studiously again. This time Jamie's got a big abrasion on his cheek. Again, deadly serious-

"Could you cartwheel the asphalt bits?"

Cut to Jamie cartwheeling over and over and over like. well, like a wheel, making good speed...

in a very much NOT straight line, until he cartwheels right into a bush.

"Well." Roy's got his studious frown, Jamie's got his scraped cheek and leaves in his hair. "I think we're out of options."

And Jamie's face falls. "Coach no. Please I can figure it out. Just need to keep trying things don't I?"

But Roy's shaking his head. 

And Jamie just looks sadder and sadder, and he starts to look a little scared. "Coach really I can just run the pavement like I used to it's f-"

"Nope. I'm calling it."

We linger on Jamie's devastated face. 

Quick cut to Jamie's torso. He's running on the road. He reaches the park. He runs through the park and reaches pavement again. He runs the pavement until he reaches the dirt track by the river. He runs the dirt track until it ends, transitioning straight onto the road once again. Scene cuts to him panting at Richmond Green once he's all done. He slowly straightens up, turning to Roy (who it's revealed bicycled the whole way with him) with the angriest, most murderous glare we've ever seen cross Jamie's face.

Roy breaks into his first grin of the entire montage. 

We finally pan down to Jamie's feet

--clad in every runner's favorite pseudo-orthopedic clown shoes. They let you run on a beautiful, cartilage-preserving cloud and not even Jamie can make them look slick. 

*This post dedicated to my own hoka-related humiliations. They're lovely at what they're designed for but oyyyye. tbf hoka does make slightly less gigantic, less hideous models (ones that visually limit themselves to the type of loud garishness that Jamie would actually probably adore). But also tbf, you KNOW Roy would insist on Jamie getting the biggest, ugliest, most embarrassing, "it's yer fuckin knees, Tartt come on!" model he could find. 

(Bonus: Jamie suddenly becomes an expert in every dirt, grass, and otherwise natural running trail in all of London because as long as there's no concrete or asphalt anywhere on his run, he can go back to his normal low drop shoes.)

#had to actually think about that #bc jamie's legs are *important* #how might you balance wanting to preserve his knees with not wanting his feet to weaken from running with a ton of support all the time? 🤔 #easiest answer (to me anyway tho i'm DEFINITELY no expert): run exclusively on dirt #in his normal minimalist shoes #but they're 2 people who can't *ever* do things the easy way so... #ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #royjamie #roy x jamie

[afyrian]

ch. 5 - november 1 masterlist

   "'how is married life going?' well, chat, it's interesting! i mean not much has changed, taxes were weird that's for sure," you sit in your office chair, one of your legs crossing the other, "but we've always been roommates so nothing different."

  you search the screen, tossing a piece of grass into a lake of lava. minecraft isn't necessarily your best game, rin having only briefly taught you for a stream. however, sometimes, on a calm evening, you like to play a game and interact with your followers. especially when they start getting engaged with both the game and your conversations.

  a new donation pops up on your second screen, the iconic voice reading out 'do you plan on admitting if the marriage is actually real...'. you widen your eyes, watching as the rest of the chat comments on the romance between the two of you. the countless videos, the closeness of the two of you, faking a wedding for a video. it just seemed all too much like coincidence for the people of twitch.

  "no, no, trust me! i do really love rintarō, but the marriage was ultimately for a joke. it was my idea to do it and he was totally up for it. the only part really messing with the both of us was when it was revealed we couldn't get divorced," you shrug, shaking off the idea of legitimately being married to rin.

  it wouldn't be bad, you figured. he was your first kiss (to make your crush jealous at the time), your closest friend, the one person you could binge a five hour youtube video essay with. being legitimately married with rin would be perfect, the only part would be him wanting to be married to. because truthfully you could never imagine him liking you like you like him.

  the comments continue spewing the idea that the two of you just don't want your relationship publicly on the internet. now, of course you'd want to keep most of your relationship personal, but it's hard to ignore the thought of the two of you kissing for a video. "chat, if rin and i were to ever actually date or get married, you'd be like the last to know. so how about we leave it alone and play a little minecraft?"

  you've very rarely had to put everyone in your comments in their place. however, the begging to know about your personal life with your closest friend strikes an annoying chord within you. especially if you don't know if you'd ever want that type of thing with him. but if you ever did, you don't want chat ruining that for you. luckily enough, the rest of your stream went as normally as it typically does. 

  when you take off your headphones, you can feel yourself already gaining some energy back. you love what you do, but sometimes answering all of those questions while concentrating on something else can drain you. so, you do what you always do after an honestly draining day. 

  you make your way into the kitchen and grab a few stacks, tossing them into a bowl and walking into the living room. on the couch sits rintarō who is binging another new show, feet resting on a small ottoman. when he notices you enter the room, he scoots over some to let you on. 

  "how was the stream?"

  "okay? i don't know, i just hate how incessant they can be on stuff they know nothing about. like our 'marriage', which they all assume was real and that's why we aren't divorced. like that's none of their business," you rant, unaware of rin having paused the show to bring his full attention to you.

  like normal, you lay down on the couch, resting your feet on his lap. “well, i could always say something to my subscribers,” rintarō looks over at you, resting on of his hands on the top of your socks. 

  “you would? i don’t want to force that on you, i just feel so frustrated,” you frown, crossing your arms over your chest with just enough of a force to really show your feelings.

  “yeah, absolutely. i mean it sucks that we need to, because we’ve said all that we’ve need to say, but i’m willing to do that for you. for us,” he shrugs, his hand rubbing the top of your feet in a soothing motion.

  the stress leaves your system and you find yourself closing your eyes in relaxation. you open your eyes and peer over at the screen. on it is a new show that you’ve been meaning to watch, rin having just started the first episode. as soon as he sees the look on your face, he starts the show over and rests his cheek onto his fist.

a/n: sorry this took so a bit longer than normal!!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #the longest contract #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #haikyuu fanfic

[resident-idiot-simp]

Sorry it took so long to respond I was out all day and normally I would be asleep by now but due to a family emergency involving a sibling (they will be fine) I am ✨AWAKE✨. Please forgive the inevitable crimes against grammar I’m about to commit I am severely sleep deprived :D

Okay so the reason wendigos aren’t able to hybridise is because humans turn into them through specific methods ie eating human flesh. they are human turned creatures. Same rules apply for vampires, werewolves, Zombies, Ghosts and any other similar type of monster, they are around but they aren’t hybrids. There are also no Moth Man, Bigfoot or Loch Ness Hybrids.

Magic left the world a LONG time ago and no one (Human) remembers why. This caused a mass extinction event with most creatures that were solely magical being wiped out. The ones that survived either became Cryptids and barely functioned with the scraps of magic left behind or they became mundane…

The reason the fae left in the first place is because a bunch of humans tried to take magic from the Fae and actually succeeded for like five seconds before a bunch of them died from the sheer amount of power. This BIG NO NO altered the nature of magic into something humans could actually use unfortunately it also hurt the Fae badly so they had to poq for a while to recover. They took the magic with them but not before cursing the surviving thieves and their descendants to never be able to experience magic again (this led to some unintended consequences).

The reason there are no Fae hybrids is a little more sinister (angst potential incoming). Every now and then a little bit of magic would leak back into the world and keep things running just enough so that when the Fae returned it wasn’t a complete shit show (just mostly one) and after some initial conflict and a bunch of new border agreements things settled down (British hybrids can pick which royal house they follow (fae or human) whilst still maintaining citizenship (guess which Soap picked lol)) and with magic being reintroduced (in the 1800’s btw) the world slowly started to change. Within a generation hybrids began appearing, within another three Mythics started showing up too. With each successive generation the hybrids got stronger and as the magic around the world continued to grow more and more animals began looking weird. Rabbits with antlers, Giant Sea Snakes and Octopi, Lions with golden coats. But no dragons or phenox or unicorns or purely magical beings appeared instead what they had where hybrids that become a little less human every generation.

TLDR the OG mythical creatures went extinct and magic is trying its best to bring them back the normal hybrids just didn’t have enough juice in them to meet the requirements. Anything that didn’t go (fully) extinct like the Fae or are human turned creature won’t hybridise.

Technically Ghost hybridisation shouldn’t have worked but because he “died” such a specific and traumatising way near a canine mythic who’s magic he absorbed over months the magic got a lil confused (Ghost is the only Black dog hybrid the as the rest are actual dogs and not extinct ( does that mean Ghost is the strongest Black dog? Maybe…(yes it does))).

If you want angst you could say that if a hybrid uses to much of their magic they run the risk of becoming more creature then man. I don’t think they’d loose their intelligence and they’d still be the same “person” but they definitely wouldn’t be human.

Since magic returned vampires can walk in the sun, wendigos became intelligent (took one look at the military and went ✨no✨) werewolves become more aware (lol) and don’t need the moon to shift and Ghosts are still classed as citizens.

Ooh What if magic is radiation from the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs????

You're fine I hope everyone's okay and I'd be a hypocrite because I too do not understand the English language.

Ok that makes sense yeah.

FAE LORE FAE LORE!!! I LOVE IT! I love that the lore and angst of humans trying to take something not made for them is very fitting. There is a ton of potential for angst and I love that Soap is like nahhh fae all the way. (He is correct)

I Love that explanation of mythics It seems very fitting for the universe. The world needs them in some way shape or form so it corrects itself.

Great explanation for Ghost and the fact that singles him out making him the most powerful is perfect. I mean look at that man.

AAAHHHH ANGST!!!! I LOVE THAT! It limits them and makes them of not super op. It also explains how some of the actual mythical creatures can survive in the human world now. (Wendigos my beloved)

OMG DINOSAUR LORE?! YES! (what if kidding kinda If all the dinosaurs didn't die) Hahaha unless

(I answered this on my phone so I couldn't answer each paragraph because it wasn't clear sorry)

#call of duty modern warfare #cod modern warfare #john soap mactavish #ghoap #simon ghost riley #hybrid au

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard* #I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details #of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point #but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag #of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there #are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance #but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly #doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. ) #the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead #of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like #you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image #or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i #wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol) #hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe #I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing #that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc #eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that #this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently #wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj #Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU #CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN #MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie* #Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol #I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it #with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits #and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit #out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the #unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh #re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI #art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA

[the-trans-dragon]

Added a fourth ingredient to my most complicated food dish I can make >:3 I even wished I had some butter to add! Ill have to remember to buy some ^w^ I don't think I've bought butter in months

#i am doing my best as an autistic adult to learn to cook all on my own and its scary. im proud of myself for adding another ingredient! #plus this means ive had like...FOUR different types of vegetables today???? normally i eat nothing but peanut butter so heck yeah #my mom called today and i mentioned i havwnt been eating well and she scolded me and then belittled me for not knowing how to cook #and at one point she said in a belittling tone “i guess i should have taught you how to cook!” and i said “that would have been nice.” #and she was like “well no one taught me. i just figured it out on my own when i was an adult.” i did NOT mention that one of our most common #meals growing up was Plain Baked Chicken (a little lemon juice and pepper as seasonings). i know no one taught her. i know my grandma was #busy trying to cope with being a 1970s housewife in the increasingly-nuclear-family atmosphere and didnt have time to teach my mom as a kid #and i know my mom was busy working 3 jobs at once to raise me so. but still. #anyways im letting my hurbis decide to name this dish Microwave Vegetable Casserole bc there isnt really a definition for casserole that i #follow so. i can stretch that definition to include my dish. fun fact: this is a dish i invented for a pet chicken i had! now i eat it #because its tasty and easy and one of the dishes i have experience with :) i just added garlic salt today for the first time and its even #tastier than before! #sorenhoots

[designernishiki]

I wanna flesh out a yakuza oc but every time I think about it I end up thinking about an oc of mine who already Exists who’s not a yakuza oc. but is, in fact, an oc who is a yakuza. and that fact is genuinely completely unrelated

#he existed WAY before I started playing yakuza or knew really anything about it #actually he contributes to why I got into yakuza to begin with. cause when my friend first showed me y0 I was like ough… my character #grew up in this exact environment and culture and structure and etc (son of a patriarch) #so it was legitimately a good reference for his background and stuff #I kinda wanna talk about him/his background more on here but. like i said he’s. not technically a yakuza oc #and he can’t be because he. canonically. has PLAYED yakuza. like the games EXIST cause it’s just a normal real world type universe and #I won’t get into all this much but he ends up in the states on the dl for Reasons. accidentally ends up with a son when he’s 22 (son’s #mother being significantly younger but again we’re not gonna get into THAT mess). ends up seeing the first game being sold somewhere in nyc #and is unable to restrain his curiosity about it (as an Actual Yakuza) so he ends up getting his son a ps2 for his birthday partly just #as an excuse to buy and play yakuza 1 because he NEEDS to know what’s in it #something something it ends up being a weird bonding thing with his son who’s definitely too young to be watching this game being played #(he was born the same year as haruka so he’d be like. 8-9. also already a concerningly violent child with many issues but. anyway) #something something he ends up disappearing out of the blue from the states when his son is 12 but the pastime still sticks for said son #from then on. so uh. yeah weirdly significant that these games Exist in this story/universe bdsjhfdfjnd #idk why I’m avoiding saying his name. his name’s asura. he’s a year or two older than daigo (born 1974) and his family’s supposed to be a #pretty powerful one in the tokyo area and he was supposed to be a nepo baby sorta like daigo except he’s not Technically an only child- he #has a much younger sister. but obviously she wasn’t gonna be considered for taking over their father’s seat nor would she want to #she wants absolutely nothing to do with any of it and changes her last name pretty soon after moving to the US to get away from them #no beef with her brother or anything she was just treated absolutely horribly and disgustingly by older members of their family growing up #ANYWAY I should stop talking bdshshcbsnnf I didn’t mean to infodump all this the lore is just. deep with these guys #Asura wasn’t even made to be a particularly prominent character or anything it’s his SON who’s a Bonafide Main Character and asura’s ties in #the story are mostly related to Him. (though his sister is also a pretty prominent character so there’s connection there too) #rambling #also one more note. yes. the timing and location of where asura would’ve first bought yakuza 1 means that it would most likely be the #infamous original english dub version. which is hilarious to think about #especially because his son’s mom (I keep calling her that because they weren’t really in a Relationship they just co-parented and lived #together a little less than half the time. it’s complicated) Did Not Approve of a game that Adult around their kid. so she would not be fond #of walking in the room and hearing TEN YEARS IN THE JOINT MADE YOU A FUCKING PUSSY #luckily she was so young and considered her son a lost cause and a burden as it is so. she complained but didn’t really do anything about #it. I mean shit she was like. only around 24-25 I think. but yeah

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

sometimes I develop stock backstories for a particular character that I can tweek for a variety of aus because i just like the vibe. Like Cas growing up in a big religiously abusive family on an isolated farm and maybe murdering his dad in his teens and getting away with it (don't worry about it.)

Anyway one I like for supernatural generally is just like. The Apocalypse gets derailed entirely by accident and no one has any idea what to do now. On the one hand it's a very utilitarian thing. I wanna write early seasons fic without the looming threat of the apocalypse hanging over everything sometimes you know? But I also just really like that vibe. The fact that the world is never going to end as like a source of existential horror. Especially for this species whose purpose is entirely tied up in the apocalypse. What does a world look like when it's been abandoned by God and just keeps on going? The same as it always did.

I like to imagine the slow death of heaven as the debate on if they should restart the apocalypse and how rages, and as they try to figure out what went wrong and who's to blame the lies that sustain this system start to crumble. They find out God hasn't been giving orders for a long time and now the final thread of prophecy he left them has snapped and they're left floundering. Some dedicated few go searching for him but when it becomes clear he's not to be found and isn't coming back it all just starts to seem so pointless. The archangels are locked in debate over what to do next, middle management is just trying to keep dissent from spreading, and all the while more rank and file angels are just... slipping out the back door when no one's looking. They aren't needed in heaven, they aren't needed anywhere, what can they do but try to find some purpose for themselves? And what better example to follow than those small ignorant favoured creations who have always had to construct meaning for themselves in the face of the daunting prospect of free will?

That's where Castiel goes looking anyway.

My favourite version of this is one where he ends up making a Reverse Doomsday Cult.

#spn #castiel #spn angels #The World Is Not Going To End: What To Do In The Face Of The Horror Of A Perpetual Existence #technically he takes over a cult #see cause I feel like Cas #especially when vulnerable and in search of guidance #would easily fall prey to cult recruitment tactics #heaven is also a cult I think he would find it comforting and familiar and treat it all as normal #he would be oblivious to the danger signs at first #but see once he did become aware of the types of violation and abuse that occur in those kinds of organizations #well he's an angel he makes with the smiting #which leaves him with a bunch of people already primed and vulnerable due to the fact that they were in a cult in the first place #doubly so because many of those spared would of course be victims feeling a mixture of fear and gratitude towards #the man who has just very convincingly revealed himself to be OH YEAH a LEGIT Angel #super easy to just end up in charge of the cult #on the one hand Cas is a much nicer cult leader in part on account of how he came here to seek guidance From humans #So the whole thing shakes out to be a lot more democratic than all that #on the other hand there is no way Castiel knows how to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy community building #not to mention he would undoubtedly share the truth about monsters and the supernatural with his followers #and if they were at all tempted to say #bring their mission of doing good works in the world to that particular problem #or even just build up defenses around their safe haven #well now suddenly this fringe religious group is stockpiling weapons #and that does not look good

[todayisafridaynight]

friend airdropped me pictures of sawashiro this morning which reminded me i wanted to ramble bout the fact the vest he wears in 2019 has a snakeskin pattern

#snap chats #firefox crashed and effectively deleted this post but fuck you im typing it again im mentally ill #but yar no as soon as i opened twitter i got a dm from him and it was free sawashiro pics #and then i rtd it and forgot i did so when i saw the post on my tl again some demon posssessed me to impulsively tuck my hair behind my ear #then i laughed aloud to myself at 6AM like a normal and well adjusted individual #even goofier when i was making this post one of my priv besties liked my tweet where i mentioned this so. signs im sawashiroposting today #OK BUT BACK ON TOPIC HI GOOD MORNING #i remember the first time i realized he wore a vest it's when i was making that sawashiro sword drawin #and just thinkin 'wow the fuck' and being cofused on what the pattern was but still thinkin it was cute yeah #well with my latest comic for some reaso i just felt compelled to look up his 2019 suit's textures #and sure i found the alligator pattern like i thought i would but i also found a snakeskin one which had me like ?? #but looking at the color of it and looking at the color of his vest i was like OHHHH IT'S HIS VEST'S TEXTURE #unless me staying up to 3AM had me even more delusional than usual #anyway i already thought the vest was cute in of itself but the fact it's snakeskin.. hehe #it just make me think of arakawa 😔 is that why you got the snakeskin vest jo #you're legally disallowed from hanging out with arakawa and everyone else now cause you gotta tend to your son #travesty. tragedy even. it's a nice vest

[silenthillbunni]

actually i hate my sisters so much for making me feel like im not allowed to exist in my own home

#if they wanna play that game; i was born first. by their logic i have more right to our mom than they do #this was my home first. i was here first. i havemore right to be here than them #but for real; my mom is the only one who can decide if i can live here or not #my sisters dont have any right to freezeme out and tell me i shouldnt live here anymore #only my mom can kick me out or have opinions on that #imjust very hurt by my mom and that she doesnt say anything #and when i try to to talk abt how i feel she just always tells me that they have feelings too and that it isnt all abt me??? #well im the one being iced out by my own family and spend all my days isolated in my room but yeah i guess im the bad one #maybe i am a bad person i can honestly not trust myself. why else would everyone treat me like this lik #lol*** damn fkn makes me so mad that i cant type on anything without typos #anyway.... i fucking hate my sisters so much and my mom being cold abt it makes me so sad #when i tell her that im so lonely i feel like i could die and that i need interaction #she just tells me that i need to get outside more #anyway i dont fucking know what im supposed to do #i am stuck and i have never gotten any help from theme talhealth care system either so #wtf am i supposed to do all alone in this!?!?! #wish i was fkn normal

[lemon-3ds]

Ladies and gentlegamers welcome to another episode of "Is this a normal kin thing or am I a system?"!

#Why must the universe make me second-guess myself with things like this every now and then =[ #This time? It's about whether experiencing multiple kinshifts at once and mental ''comments'' from your other kins is normal. #First of all to describe them‚ the multiple kinshifts sorta ranges between just straight up experiencing multiple kinshifts at once. #(Like how systems co-front sometimes. Just straight up more than one guy ya know?) to them sorta being in the background? Like I can feel #them but they're not in control. They're there in vibes #As for the comments it's just thoughts but like. Ones that the kins that are not currently shifted would think. Got their brand on it. #It's usually just a quick jump-in. Commentary from the sidelines. #I have yet to see literally ANYONE in the kin community mention anything like this #Yeah sure not everyone is gonna experience things the same way but???? It's kinda sus how a LARGE community doesn't have at least a few #people who experience at least something similar #They ARE however a thing that systems do to my knowledge. And there ARE types of systems that are similar to kinning. #I just. Dunno man. What the fuck am I #an individual known as lemon does the act of expressing her feelings with words #a group of individuals known as entropy do the act of expressing their feelings with words

[fandom-fae]

why can’t i just be a normal fucking person

#vent vent vent #rant rant rant #moi #feels #uh yeah #i don’t know how many times i’ve cried today but it was more than it shoudlve been #i know this isn’t a productive or good way of thinking but i wish i was normal #yk cis neurotypical a more standard body type boring interests normal and well regulated emotions yk stuff like that? :’) #i hate that [she] hurt my feelings and barely apologized and i’m here thinking aboit apologizing for my feelings being hurt in the first #place. like fuck. why am i like this? if only i was neurotypical my reaction probably wouldn’t have been so strong and i couldve hid that #i felt hurt at all and she wouldn’t have known and i wouldn’t have spent the entire lesson sitting there and being such a stupid fucking #heulsuse and i wouldve been able to go home and shower without taking 2 hours in the shower bc i was crying too much #and i wouldn’t have a fucking headache right now because i wouldn’t have cried #and it wouldn’t have been an issue anyway because it woudlve never come up in the conversation because if i was cis i wouldn’t even fucking #care (or maybe i would but it wouldn’t hurt like it did) and i hate being in the closet honestly #i hate this cisheteronormative society so much because if it wasn’t like that i wouldn’t have to feel like this right now because the whole #cause would be gone #also fuck the mottokomittee for that stupid motto they came up with #this whole thing is making me want to not exist honestly like fuck all of this #and also. fuck k from that komitee especially i wouldn’t be surprised if she came up with that supid motto. i mean she is the one who used #to be friends with that terf before she left so yk. fuck k. but like actually i don’t know what to do #i wish i wasn’t like this #and im so sorry to anyone reading this #i jeut really needed to let this all go and its kinda painful and idk what #to do anymore #i don’t want to just miss part of the mottowoche later but i also really don’t want to have to misgender myself in front of everyone in a #situation that will literally be filmed and watcged by almost the entire school #i hate this so much #like i dislike it as a motto on its own because its stupid and uncreative but also because its rly cisnormative and i hate it as a nonbinary #person because i’m in the closet and definitely not about to out myself over thsi motto but i also fucking refuse to do this

[asjjohnson]

People are kinda like ice cream varieties.

There's different personalities, like how there's different flavors. There's vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, pistachio, blueberry, cherry vanilla, banana pudding, blackberry cobbler, cherry cordial, peanut butter, coffee, mocha, brownie, chocolate chip cookie dough, cookies and cream, vanilla bean, French vanilla, mint chocolate chip, chocolate swirl, strawberry swirl, and many more.

Then there's people who aren't 'typical'. Like how there's sugar free, lactose free, diet, light, organic, natural, and other such things. They're still the same flavors (although it might be harder to find what you're looking for, and some things are more expensive).

And if the carton you've bought isn't labeled as such, would you really notice that it's not 'typical'? It might taste slightly odd to you, but it might just be the way that particular flavor from that particular company is supposed to taste - how would you know? Unless you're actually familiar with the taste and/or effects of a particular added or removed ingredient (like Splenda, lactose, or sugar), you're not going to be able to tell whether that carton is different or if it's just normal variation.

So why are people so judgmental nowadays? It's like they're saying, "This peanut butter ice cream doesn't taste like chocolate. It must be missing some kind of health label!" But maybe they just need to realize it doesn't taste like chocolate because it's not chocolate flavored.

#I tried to make this apply to any type of labels #And yeah okay sometimes labels are good and can be inclusive instead of exclusive. If you're purposefully labeling yourself then good. #But a lot of labels are applied to people by others. #It seems like there's too many labels for people nowadays. What happened to normal variations in personality determining things? #or variations in body type. #The idea of everyone being equal. You could be shy or pushy or enjoy more feminine or masculine things and it would just be personality. #but now it's like 'No no. There's only vanilla chocolate or strawberry. all other flavors are non-typical.' #I once got a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. It tasted horrible. I've never gotten another one. I'd assumed that's how they make them. #I kind of think it's because of real pumpkin put into the coffee though. I like my pumpkin spice without random pumpkin thrown in. #The first time I tried Blue Bell's Banana Pudding ice cream it tasted pretty bad. I thought it was just not a good flavor. #But I did try it again (because I love Blue Bell) and it tasted great! I think it was because the store had stored it wrong. Freezer burn. #But the thought 'this product must be diet!' didn't cross my mind. #Sometimes 'is this diet' does come to mind though. I dislike the bitterness of artificial sweeteners so sometimes I check the ingredients. #But unless I specifically taste that bitterness I'm not going to notice.

[osaemu]

GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ CAN I PUT YOU ON HOLD? ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ he picks up the phone in the middle of fucking you. NSFW

contents: fem!reader. cunniligus, lil' bit of dirty talk and more... i'm too tired to type it all out </3

author's note: idk personally i wouldn't take that.. but i guess i would if it was satoru. anywaysss enjoy

satoru's a busy man — balancing his responsibilities as a teacher and as a sorcerer is no easy task, but he finds a way to make it work.

anyone who's known him for longer than a minute can easily tell that satoru's committed to his line of work. as much as he complains about it, the truth is that it's one of his top priorities. maybe even the first one.

and you get a taste of just how devoted satoru is when he picks up the phone in the middle of fucking you. 

"hello?" satoru cooes, eyes focused on your indignant expression as he holds a finger to his lips. "yeah, i'm free to talk. what is it?"

"free to talk?" you mouth at him incredulously. satoru replies with a wink and grins, enjoying the show. you're still pinned underneath him, bedsheets haphazardly strewn across your body, and satoru savors the sight of you all needy and pouty.

"yeah, take your time," satoru says amusedly to whoever's on the other side of the phone after a moment. when you reach up and swat satoru's chest indignantly, he uses his free hand to pin your wrists above your head, a clear warning in his eyes.

after a couple of mhm's and of course's, the conversation still isn't over. your patience is waning — who is satoru to just stop in the middle of fucking you to pick up a phone call and say that he's free to talk?

you try to distract yourself by thinking about the mindblowing sex you were having just minutes ago. the longing, glassy stares; the red scratch marks down satoru's back; and of course you couldn't leave out the words.

"fuck, you're taking me so well, sweetheart." "atta girl, you're a natural slut, aren't ya?" "your pussy was made to be fucked by me, wasn't it?"

how did that turn into "yeah, make sure the higher-ups know about this, otherwise they'll give me hell for it. mhm"?

after another bland minute, satoru rolls off of you and sits up with his back against the headboard, sheets falling to expose everything from his waist up. 

you whine in impatience, glaring at him like a sullen child. satoru basically just edged you — one second you're about to get to best orgasm of your life, the next you're forced to watch your boyfriend chat on the phone nonchalantly as if he wasn't just moaning your name like a slut three minutes earlier.

satoru shoots a glare at you and pats his lap, pressing a finger to his lips as a reminder to stay quiet.

well then, he shouldn't have picked up the phone in the middle of fucking you.

you scoot yourself into his lap, purposefully positioning yourself so that your pussy just barely rubs against the head of satoru's still-dripping cock.

it's so worth it when you hear satoru inhale a sharp breath and start to squirm under you, somehow both trying to push himself inside but also trying to inch himself away. it's like he can't decide, but the way his face flushes red speaks volumes.

his voice is breathier than normal as he squeezes his watery eyes shut. "yeah yeah, that's perfect. you mind if i put y'on hold for a sec? alright, thanks."

you glance over at satoru as he retracts the phone from his ear and puts it on mute. not even a second later, he's back on you, manhandling you into a position where he can comfortably eat your pussy, a cheeky smile on his lips.

"you think you're so fucking funny, don't ya?" satoru cooes, looking up at you as he eats you out sloppily. a mixture of his saliva and your essence drips down his chin, and the lewd sounds slipping from his lips are pornworthy. the wail that slips out of your lips when satoru bites down on your thigh hard enough to leave a mark is anything but appropriate, especially when he presses his lips back to your pussy and laughs in the middle of tonguefucking you.

"fuck, you're so lucky my phone's on mute right now," satoru groans, still buried in between your thighs. "god, if my old man could hear you now—"

"your dad's on the other end of the phone?!" you gasp, swatting satoru's head and frantically reaching over him to check if the phone was actually on mute — knowing satoru, it could've just slipped his mind. intentionally.

satoru scowls, muttering a reminder for you to stay still while he eats his dessert before rolling his eyes and grumbling "what does it matter?"

"uh, that's embarrassing!" you whine. when satoru nudges his nose against you again, you reluctantly spread your thighs for him so he can continue his meal. satoru mumbles a thanks, but he doesn't respond beyond that.

"satoru!"

"what??"

"don't you have to finish your call?"

satoru sticks out his bottom lip, fixing his cerulean eyes on you and pouting. "you were just complaining about the call and now you want me to go back??"

"it's your dad, satoru," you groan, pushing his shoulders away from your legs and ignoring his protests. "you don't get any more pussy until you finish that damn call."

"i hate you."

"love you lots, baby."

satoru sighs dramatically and unmutes the call, not bothering to respond to his dad's questions with answers longer than a word or two. after another minute of this, his dad finally hangs up and satoru lets out an elated cheer.

he turns to you with a mischievous smirk. 

"now, where were we?"

#osaemu #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo smut #satoru gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x y/n #gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x y/n