im so ❤️❤️ for creepy homelander rn! like stalker homelander, panty stealer, watching you sleep vibes.,,,,., my heart is full
he's just so terribly good at it.
who else is going to walk you home at night? it's dangerous out here for a pretty thing like you. it's okay that you can't see him. all that matters is that he can see you.
honestly it's cute how clueless you are. what would you do without him? he's been outside your place countless times and yet not once have you ever noticed him. he starts to feel bold. he wonders if maybe you do know, you just don't mind.
it makes leaving your window open seem like an invitation.
it's surreal to be inside the home he's watched from a distance. everything smells like you, but it doesn't stop him from picking up your shirt and pressing it to his mouth to take a deep huff. soft. everything about you is so damn soft.
especially when you sleep. he cocks his head while he stands there at the edge of your bed, watches you for a long while. your heart is steady, breaths shallow. you must be deep asleep then, dreaming away. dreaming of him, he hopes. he certainly dreams of you.
being so close is too much of a temptation. he wets his lips with a quick slide of his tongue and bends down. he ghosts his fingers just over your cheek, not quite daring to touch. he can smell the faint remnants of your toothpaste on your breath, your shampoo, and beneath it all, you. fuck, it's intoxicating, it's...
he brushes his lips ever so gently between your brows, his own breaths matching the cadence of yours. divine. you're divine. so unwittingly perfect. you don't even know. you have no idea.
he means to leave it there, but the pull is too great. he's greedy, drunk on the smell and the taste of you, and he can't stop himself from sampling your lips against his. soft, soft, soft. he knew they would be.
he's aching, yearning so intensely he could rip the covers away and take you just like this, shake you awake and declare himself and finally have you.
not yet.
he leaves, but not empty handed. he doesn't think you'll miss that pair of panties. not as much as he'll enjoy them.
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Only Friend Finale Reaction
I want to write this down now because I suspect my feelings on this will change over time. In this moment, immediately post-finale, I am satisfied. I feel happy. I am glad this show got made, and that I watched it.
Only Friends was billed as the messy gays show. I went in expecting something close to Friend Zone but with more gays, and that's what we got. Not a Warped Effect with explicit morals and lessons about sex, consent, sexualities, kinks, etc., not a GayOK Bangkok which is grounded in realism.
And because this was Jojo and Ninew and Den and Best, it's still more realistically queer than any GMMTV BL to date, and there were some absolutely stellar moments that stand alone as moving, and powerful, and beautiful, and genre-changing. And so near the beginning of the show airing, I raised my expectations; maybe this show was going to do more.
But was clear by the penultimate episode that it wasn't. I wrestled a lot on here with my need for this show to be the one that finally broke up the mixed pair expectations, and let sluts be sluts, and finally showed a threesome, and maybe even gave us consensual non-monogamy. It didn't go that far in any of those realms, but it took a step closer on many of them, and considering where BL has been to date that's still pretty huge for GMMTV, and I don't want to lose sight of that or judge it for what I wanted it to be instead of what it ultimately was.
The other thing I wrestled with a lot in this show was what other people were seeing in it, and my frustration that people were taking away moral lessons that the show wasn't giving. I think I was successful in that I watched this finale with satisfaction for what I was getting, even though I know a lot of people won't see what I saw (and btw I'm not even claiming that what I saw was what the creators intended! I am not claiming superiority here, just bias lol). So I watched this finale deciding to take what I wanted from it, rather than what I thought it was actually trying to say, and for that reason I enjoyed the hell out of it.
So. Here are my takeaways from the Only Friends finale:
We got a three-way kiss, even if it didn't lead to a threesome, after teasing us all series that was still satisfying and we got it as part of a branded pair in a GMMTV show. It was fun, and messy, and I loved it. I appreciate that it was also...maybe necessary is too far lol but it was actually in service to the plot--we all knew Sand still had feelings for Boeing, or else he would not have still been so mad at Top that he was willing to use Nick and Ray to get his revenge. Not every emotional loose end needs to be resolved with kissing, but it was kind of fun that they tried (and I also really appreciated that it didn't work lol).
I loved that Mew and Ray talking as friends got them to compare notes on and eventually team up to take down Boeing. Their friendship really is the backbone of this series, and I'm glad it survived everything. Mew is so relieved to have someone else taking care of Ray because he never wanted that role and wasn't good at it, but he does care about his friend's happiness and is more than happy to step in when there's drama. I appreciate that he made really clear to Sand that his feelings for Ray are platonic, in the bar, that's the first time I've really seen him be truly supportive of Ray, and it was nice to see.
The Mew and Top scenes were fascinating. I think this is where I'm going to differ from the bulk of the audience and I've made peace with that. I do not find stories like theirs romantic--where both partners need to be in control and play games to stay in control the whole time--so for me, the fact that these power struggles were still present in all of their scenes satisfied my desire to see them stay together, happy but on edge. So. That scene with Mew and Top in which Mew agrees to live with Top but then asks him to apologize to Sand right afterwards; I read that as pretty manipulative on Mew's part, and Top's uncomfortable face at the end means that he felt it too. Maybe I wasn't supposed to read it that way, but that's why it worked for me. The ring, too, "now or never", it's not a promise of forever, it's a promise of the present [such a strong ephemerality statement]. The conversation in the bath in which they outline their needs and identify that they have contrasting needs, and say "I'll work on it / we'll deal with it when it comes" is exactly what I was expecting of this relationship. They're not perfect for each other, and they're going to continue to push one another. Right now they're agreeing to try, without a guarantee that it will work. Talking about their needs is good, but we don't actually see them trying, so it didn't hit as romantic as it would otherwise for me either. And Mew daring Sand to kiss Top in order to get them to be chill was such a Mew power move I loved it. He asked Top to apologize to Sand, and then forced them to be in close proximity before getting confirmation that Top was ready. Top apologizing to Sand in that last second before they kissed was him clinging for power while Sand was hovering over him, and it was a perfect Top volley. Constant power struggle, that's how I read these two. Mew teasing Top with whether or not he's slept with anyone else was so interesting considering their history around that--I was probably supposed to see it as growth in their relationship that they can joke about it? Or maybe they were trying to undo some of the sexual morality nonsense that made its way into this show by pointing out that actually it doesn't matter if Mew had been with anyone before? But what I saw was Mew still struggling to have a power foothold over Top now that he's moved in. I will admit the fire scene, at first, I was so confused by. Were we supposed to be moved by Top getting past his trauma? What was that scene even about? I think, in the context of Mew's struggle with his place in Top's life, and his power in this relationship, it was about Mew understanding the invisible support he provides for Top, and why he's important to Top. Mew watched Top be competent and collected in the face of a triggering event, and was impressed at how Top had it all together, but Top credits Mew's presence for that. I think it helped Mew start to actually see a future with Top, because he understands his place in it a bit better. Even if he feels like he's not doing enough, Top sees his presence as strength, so maybe he doesn't need to worry quite so much about keeping score. But that's honestly me reaching, I struggled with that scene and think it was the weakest in the finale [and @lurkingshan I read your post and could believe that your read is true, that it was there to prove Top did have trauma].
Can I tell you how much I love how this show ended, with Mix's character smiling at Mew, and Top's nervous look? Because I think we've wrestled with Mew's confidence in this relationship for the whole show, but it's clear Top still feels unsettled/uncertain in this relationship and I love that we ended with him feeling threatened. This for me was the perfect ending for this couple, and what I've wanted as their ending all along--they're happy right now, they know there are potential bumps on the road in their future, and they're not certain they'll make it through, but they're willing to try--but the threats are real, and present, and not going to be easy because this relationship is not solid.
I also really appreciated what was happening with Boston and Nick, even though I wish it would have been more explicit or done better; what we got was still better than I expected from a GMMTV show. I loved Boston dissuading Nick from following him, and finding the romantic asks to be too many/too much, and having a different definition of "boyfriend" (but not different enough to not like to Nick's face about where you were, Boston, I see you). I love that Nick didn't get mad at Boston for "cheating", understood what Boston was offering for what it was; I also really loved Sand's advice to Nick that just because what's on offer is laid out honestly and fairly, that that means he has to accept it if it's not what he wants. I didn't love Boston trying to backtrack when Nick decided not to take him up on it; but I did love Nick's response, telling Boston to own who he is rather than trying to be someone he's not.
I think this is where my attempts the last couple of weeks to let go of what people will take from this show has helped, because yeah, you can see this as the narrative punishing Boston for being a slut, but this has never been a morality play, and so I'm taking from it how I see it. And I see it as Boston getting a clean slate with a bit more perspective going to New York. What I would say to Boston if he were my friend: This friend group was a mess and they always judged Boston for his sex life more than was deserved; they also violated his privacy by passing around his sex audio and never apologized for it. Boston also didn't take their feelings into consideration when he decided who to have sex with, and he messed with their relationships which was not being a good friend either. Does he actually want them back, or is he just feeling lonely? My hope for him is that he takes what he's learned about other people's feelings--that not everyone sees the world he does, and he has to understand that people will be hurt by different things whether or not they would hurt him, if he wants to retain relationships of any kind including friendships, and decide whether or not they're worth making concessions for before hurting them so that he doesn't lose people he doesn't want to--and finds folks who fit better with his worldview and morals, and then is better able to keep them in his life. But also these people are hypocrites, and he should not take their opinion as a statement of fact about his worth. He didn't do anything worse to them than they did to him or each other.
I know a lot of people are going to see this storyline as a punish the slut story. I was wrestling with this two episodes ago, maybe that's why I'm willing to be chill about this now. I was hoping we'd get Boston as a reason to discuss consensual non-monogamy in a GMMTV show, but I am actually ok with Nick saying listen, I need to be honest about what I want and it's not that, and Boston you shouldn't be trying to give me what I want because that's not going to make you happy either. Boston being alone isn't a sad ending; to me it's the ending he was expecting and aiming for this whole time. The only difference is he's surprised by how he feels about it now that he's in it, and he's panicking a bit. Boston was not just a slut, he was a slut who didn't care about who he hurt; it's that latter piece that he's wrestling with in this finale, and I love that Nick told him he didn't have to stop being a slut to stop being an asshole. Honestly, he'll get to New York and be fine, I really think so. And I took the Nick/Boston goodbye conversation as Nick saying "I love you as you are, a slut, and it's ok to be that. Go be a happy slut!" Do I wish he'd said that more explicitly so that people would understand that? Yes. But I've given up on that.
Cheum not going with the group to the fireworks was so interesting in the context of our conversations about Cheum over the past couple of days. I took this to be the show acknowledging explicitly that she's not actually a part of the core friend group; she schemes to keep the group together (unsuccessfully), and we don't ever get a sense of why she cares so much about that--maybe it's guilt for helping push out Boston for something he didn't do, maybe she needs the security of the group she's got, we never get that insight and I'm still a bit sad about that. But she's not there for the big fireworks finale, so we're at least clear that the show never intended her to be a Main Character. And I was so happy we got her saying her plan worked in the pool. Maybe that still won't be enough to convince the audience that she's an unreliable narrator, but it was satisfying for me! Also loved her unwrapping the photo from Boston and the group's uncomfortable reaction to it. Maybe Chuem's going to keep pushing that they reconcile; maybe she's just delusional about how well her plan worked. Either way, the tension was fun. I didn't get the full resolution of her character that I wanted, but the show nodding explicitly to the fact that she keeps herself apart from the main group so I shouldn't expect it was helpful to me getting over that. And we got a kiss! And another tiny insight into their relationship; again not enough to go on, but i did think it really interesting that the two things we know about April and Cheum are: April appreciates Cheum's positive energy, and April has asked Cheum to be more honest and not just positive for the sake of being positive (about her films). So I'm reading this as that these two are just as messy and as likely to continue to have problems as the rest of the group.
Ending in Sand and Ray because I think this is the least ambiguous; I appreciated that Sand started doing what Sand always does and saying "yeah I"ll sacrifice all of my sources of income for you no problem" (WHAT) and Ray waiting until they're alone again to say "actually that's ridiculous don't do that". I appreciated that Sand's new year plans were all about Ray because he hasn't had anything push him into actually being more selfish, and the resolution with Boeing was done for him so he didn't have to set boundaries after all (called that one), so he's had zero character growth, actually. I appreciate that Ray pushes him to try to be a little selfish, that's the best sign that Ray is finally actually caring about Sand's needs, and that their relationship might work, that I've seen the whole series. I'm taking it with a massive grain of salt, because the plan is for Ray to constantly expose himself to alcohol and partying. I think this is set up to be just as tenuous as the Mew/Top relationship, but it reads a bit more lovey-dovey because they're in a less problematic place at the moment (where they have just resolved one of their insecurities so they're more confident in one another--but it's not clear how long that will last, especially with the threat of Sand's self-sacrifice and Ray's fierce boundary-violating in the face of any threat looming in the background unresolved). Sand expressing his uncertainty around his role in the Hostel was also perfect, because he is an outsider in this project and doesn't have a role, and it's a perfect point for tension in the future between them.
Even the way Yo warns the group of friends in the very last scene that they're going to have to be better to one another and less dramatic in the future if they want this hostel to last felt ominous to me rather than preachy; have this group learned enough to make this business work? That definitely remains to be seen.
Nobody should be watching Only Friends with the idea that it's going to give them any kind of lesson about what to do; at best it's a list of what not to do's lol. None of these characters are perfect, they're all incredibly flawed, and young. So their choices, including whether or not to stay together, whether or not to stay friends, whether or not to stay in business, should not be read as a moral judgment by the showrunners. I definitely agree that this could have been more effective as a message if folks weren't happy at the end. But I've given up on it needing to be effective for everyone; they stayed in character to me, and it was effective for me.
I recognized so much of my friends and my youth in this series, and I am so grateful to have gotten to see that portrayed in a show that felt like a rollercoaster while I was watching it; I literally screamed aloud, I cheered, I laughed, I applauded. This show had characters casually snort coke, hook up, flirt with their exes, kiss their friends, make mistakes, forgive one another heinous shit, be mean, kiss outside their branded pairs, and in some cases let one another go.
There are a LOT of ways this show could have been better. It was close, so close in some cases, to being amazing, and it's fallen short in a lot of ways. It could have been a subversive and compelling narrative about slut shaming and the toxicity of fandom branded pairs. Instead, it was just a show about flawed people being flawed. But I had fun, and I'm not taking away from this show that any of these characters were in the right, or that sluts are bad, or need to change--whether it was the intended message, I've given up on that because I legitimately can't tell and if it is the message, I don't want to know. I don't think it overromanticized these flawed characters, but I can see how folks could see it that way. I'm choosing to remember that these characters have all been flawed and shown to be flawed throughout the show, and notice the ways in which they are still flawed, and the hints that things will stay messy. Maybe this is a bit like those experiments in which they found the way people in incarceration watch Die Hard very differently from how other people do or how it was intended LOL maybe I'm working too hard to justify what was just bad writing and gross moral judgments and toxic relationships being portrayed as romantic. But it didn't land that way for me, so I'm going to celebrate that and enjoy the feelings this show gave me.
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I'll be honest I am NOT surprised qFit will try to tell qPac about all of this.
By the end of his lore video the feeling I got was that he is going to fullfill the mission trying to believe that Madagio won't hurt anyone if he follows what he has been told to do. At the end qFit says: "I care about the people of this island. - I'll complete the job but you better not be using their data to do harm."
This to me sounds like someone who is ready to fight their boss if they do anything that will harm their loved ones. BUT he is not dumb, he knows that as said by the contract, if it came to a point where he had to disregard it in any way, his loved ones will be in danger. That's why he wants to ask qPac if he is ok with that risk.
What I will say is that I didn't expect qFit to be ready to has this talk so soon BUT with Ramon's pressure that doesn't seem that crazy to me.
I also wanna say another thing, mainly because I might be missing something or maybe there's being some kind of misunderstanding. As far as I know (and I might be wrong but I did check back on what Madagio said), the contract said that qFit is not advised to make attachments, BUT it never said it's against it or something thay might break it. Madagio just said it will complicate things, and it felt more like a warning to qFit to not distract himself with attachments or let them take priority to the mission. To be fair this is already happening, qFit is definetly at least thinking about prioritizing Ramón and qPac if it came down to it, but as long as qFit does what he's told and brings that data I do not think Madagio cares, and I didn't get that vibe from what he said during the contract either.
I say this because for now, from my understanding qFit is following the contract and has not broken it, and as long as he does this, his loved ones should be fine. And I think qFit is choosing to believe this data maybe won't be used for anything bad, since we still have no idea what it is for.
To be fair too, he is between two choices:
1. Break the contract, his loved ones making be punished, and he goes back to 2b2t.
2. Follow the contract, people might be hurt (tbh they will most likely be hurt) and get a chance to be free.
Like, none is good but only one of them has an actual chance to be somewhat of a happy ending, since there is a chance for Madagio to not use the data for anything nefarious.
The problem will come when the data is used for something harmful or he has to give qPac's or Ramon's data (and I am pretty sure he has it). Another way this could go wrong is if Madagio does something outside of the contract for his own benefit that harms others or qFit himself, like changing the rules of the contract or straight up breaking it and doing whatever the fuck he wants.
Basically my conclusion is: qFit is fucked either way so he is choosing the least fucked option and hoping Madagio isn't an actual asshole and will hurt everyone, by following the contract and getting a happy ending. He also knows Madagio IS most probably an asshole so he needs to be careful and warn qPac and is ready for a fight if necessary.
For now keep at the mission and hope for the best.
Or well, that's how personally I understood qFit's most recent lore.
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I'm not sure if this is something that has been discussed before, but the pacing of book 3 has always bothered me a little (not enough to consider the writing as less than phenomenal, but still). There's actually a few things that I think could have been handled better and I just grouped them under 'pacing issues' as an umbrella term, even though it's not always the most fitting term. Most of these aren't even really issues, but just my personal preference.
For instance, I always thought it's a pity we didn't get more episodes with the Gaang after Zuko joined the team. I love the fieldtrip episodes, but we barely got to see team avatar travelling together (and Toph didn't even get a fieldtrip!). There's a lot of untapped potential there and we're free to explore that ourselves of course, but having more canon storylines would've been nice and I think it wasn't impossible. (This is a segue into issue nr. 1):
Book 3 spends too much time preparing for the invasion.
The Gaang spends half a season to prepare for the invasion (they mostly just travel to the meeting point). This makes no sense to me as we, the viewers, know that Azula knows all about it (as King Kuei so nicely tells her about those plans in 2x19 "The Guru"). (Which btw, he could have mentioned to the Gaang after learning that Azula was not a Kyoshi warrior, but I'll let that slide as Kuei is canonically a useless person).
They build up towards a fight that we know is doomed to fail and that on itself is okay, but that moment could've happened earlier in the season (not so early that Zuko doesn't have the time to finally understand what his destiny truly is). If the invasion failed earlier in the season, Zuko (and Suki) would have joined earlier. Many episodes in early book 3 could easily take place after the invasion (thinking of "The painted lady" or "The puppetmaster", maybe(?) "Sokka's master" and "The runaway", though some elements would have needed altering, e.g. the Sparky Sparky Boom Man subplot (I say we get rid of it entirely)).
Conversely, there's one episode, or rather conflict, that should have occurred before the invasion. (Segue to issue nr. 2!):
2. What even was the invasion plan, really?
After the invasion fails, we learn during a beach party that the Fire Lord is planning to literally burn the entire world when the comet arrives, so the Gaang's new plan of discretely hiding and training until the comet passes turns out to be pretty pointless. Aang suddenly has to face the Fire Lord much earlier and more importantly, when Ozai's at his most powerful, which is less than ideal. So the combat training recommences. It is at this point that Aang suddenly realizes he's not willing to kill Ozai. He's of course right to feel conflicted about it, and it's understandable that his friends don't completely understand just how important this is for him. It's a necessary and significant moment in the show, but it's just strange that they haven't had the discussion before.
Aang knows he has to defeat the Fire Lord pretty early on. Throughout book 1 and book 2 he's preoccupied with learning to bend the elements (when he's not riding animals or escaping imprisonment or facing whatever other problem the plot throws his way). It's too early to think about the technicalities of what that defeat exactly entails because priorities, I totally get it. But by book 3, they have a pretty elaborate plan to invade the Royal Palace. It's just never explained how they will defeat the Fire Lord. Hakoda explains the plan as follows:
The eclipse only lasts eight minutes, not enough time for the whole invasion. And the Royal Palace is heavily guarded by firebenders. So that's where we'll need the eclipse's advantage the most. When this is finished, the Avatar will have defeated the Fire Lord. We will have control of the Fire Nation capital, and this war will be over!
Assuming the plan was not to kill Ozai (because Aang would have felt conflicted about that), how exactly would Aang defeat the Fire Lord in those eight minutes? Was he just supposed to knock him unconscious and then immediately put him in a cooler cell? If that's the case, I didn't see them carry one around. Aang had thought about the possibility of not coming back from the battle (as he tells Katara just before leaving), so it would only make sense for him to consider the possibility that it could be Ozai who would not make it out alive because of him.
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