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softquietsteadylove · 5 months

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can you write thenamesh The Tourist AU pls? if you can’t/don’t want to it’s totally alright i love your work anyway <3💌

Gil just stared. He couldn't believe it, and he was seeing it. But this woman - the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on in his life - just...sat right down. He looked around a little, trying to see if she had mistaken him for someone else. But she was looking right at him. "Uh, h-hello."

"Hello." God, even her voice was gorgeous. He closed his lame little spy book on the table between their seats. "I'm Thena. What's your name?"

"Gil."

"That's a terrible name."

"It's the only one I've got," he shrugged sheepishly, and she smiled. This was different from the smile she had sat down with, too. This was more genuine seeming (cuter). "It's short for Gilgamesh."

"Hm," the woman's eyes dashed down to the table for a second before coming back up to him. "Better."

It was still the only name he had. "So, uh, what brings you to Venice?"

She eyed him, and then those killer eyes floated a little away from him too. She still seemed to be looking for someone, even if he was the one on whom she had settled. "Meeting someone."

"Ah." Of course--of course the positively stunning woman was already meeting someone. Probably a husband, if not a very handsome partner. He watched as she peeled her gloves off.

She didn't have a ring on. "And you?"

"Hm?" he blinked, still borderline dizzy from the appearance of this woman in his life.

"What brings you here," she paused, her perfect lips forming his name before it was spoken aloud, "Gilgamesh?"

"Just Gil," he corrected her and then immediately shook his head. She smiled again, though--that more real one. He smiled too, somewhat encouraged. "I'm just a tourist, really."

She tilted her head at him. "Just a tourist?"

Gil blushed faintly, fiddling with the worn and frayed edge of his book cover. "I teach."

"Here for summer break, is it?"

"Something like that," he chuckled, looking at her hands again. It was entirely possible that she simply didn't feel the need to wear one. Or perhaps they had been together so long it was a formality. But he couldn't help but tilt his head right back at her.

"What?"

He shrugged, shaking his head faintly. "Look, far be it from me to ask a lady this. But you seem...I dunno, a little lonely?--or something."

But she smiled at him again, although it was back to being that faker one. It did seem a little sad, though. "Aren't we all?"

He was a single teacher taking a train to Venice alone, who was he to talk? "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Wife?"

Definitely not. "Nothing of the sort. You?"

She looked down at her hands too, and maybe the lack of ring was not entirely by choice. "That has yet to be seen."

Were they going to be engaged? Or maybe was she was going to break things off, offer some dramatic ultimatum.

"Invite me to dinner, Gil."

He liked how she said Gil. It sounded so gentle and warm off her lips. Truly stunning lips. He cleared his throat, "would you like to have dinner?"

"Don't phrase it as a question."

"You said ask you to dinner."

"I said to invite me to dinner," she countered, and hints of the smile were returning. She was a woman who knew what she was after (god he liked that). "Try again."

He laughed, but sure, he gave it another shot. "Have dinner with me."

"Too demanding." Okay, now he was pretty sure she was just having some fun with him. "You are not summoning me. Again."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, and he did get a more genuine laugh out of her. Y'know what?--so long as she was having fun, maybe this wasn't so bad. "Uh...dinner?"

"Still a question," she borderline teased him. She leaned forward in her seat faintly, "once more."

One more shot to have dinner with the woman of his dreams. He straightened up in his seat, rolled his shoulders back and tugged at his sports coat. She seemed to respond to this, mirroring his posture. "I'm having dinner, if you care to join me."

Now the smile was back, and in full force. She smiled with all her teeth, which was really cute. She had a very pretty smile for an even more beautiful face. But he got the distinct impression there was a lot more to her than her looks.

"I would be delighted."

"Well then," Gil nodded, tapping his fingers against the edge of the table and its white table cloth. He still didn't know what made her come over to him, and ask him to dinner (or ask him to ask her to dinner, more like). But he smiled, "shall we?"

"Lets," she agreed. She was waiting for him to make the first move again.

Okay, sure; Gil stood, adjusting his plain old blazer and tugging at the sleeves to make sure they were straight. He was a little underdressed compared to Thena in her stark white dress and fancy gloves. But he held his hand out for her, "madame?"

"Enchante," she smiled, slipping her hand into his to stand as well. Her eyes darted around a little over his shoulder but perhaps he was being paranoid thanks to his silly spy book. "Have you had the food board?"

"From Padua to here," he nodded as he led them in the direction of the dining car. How she walked in those heels was beyond him, even if the train was pretty smooth a ride. "It's not bad."

"Padua," she mused and them grinned at him again, "you really are a tourist."

He pinked again, and he was beginning to think she just enjoyed flustering him. "Where are you coming from?"

She did that thing where she kind of scanned behind around them again before answering, "Paris."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "overrated. And you call me the tourist."

She tugged at his sleeve faintly, as if to admonish him, "you're the American."

He chuckled, "guilty."

"Not yet," she whispered as she moved in the train aisle to walk ahead of him. He was about to ask her about it when she turned back to him, "are you ready for this?"

He wasn't entirely sure what she was asking about, but he was damn ready to find out.

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tigresslanzhu · 8 months

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Why Must Snow Be Temporary?

Meena: Artica, I know it’s you putting sunblock on all this snow!

Artica: Awww! How did you find out?

Meena: Well, for one thing, you’re the only person around here who uses cookie dough scented sunblock…

Ash: I told you to use some of mine!

#sing 2021 #sing 2016 #meena sing #sing artica #sing ash #Artica really loves snow #she really hates that you only get it for a few months #no this couldn’t wait until winter is really here #I hate summer heat #of course Meena’s got a good sense of smell #elephants have more olfactory nerves than dogs #so much so that they can detect bombs #not that Meena-Chan will ever have to deal with that in the near future #at least I hope not!#Still Artica’s nose is more sensitive #why are we discussing noses?#because I said so!

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to-elysium-and-beyond · 8 months

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"Group anime" is in 15 minutes. You wouldn't want to be late, would you? I know your "friends" wouldn't want you to be. ...Or would they? You never know who the people you love truly are. Maybe they're plotting against you.

H-Huh? Hey...who is this??

Why are you saying this stuff? And why do you know about our group anime nights??

They like me! Everybody does! And they're not plotting against me!

...right?

#they wouldn't be - right??#i mean im the one that hosts anime nights after all!!#if they didn't like me they just wouldn't come...#unless they're holding out on me...#b-but they wouldn't! we've been friends for years!#at least I hope not!#lord...#i gotta stop thinking about this! it'll freak me out too much...#asks #lbp rp account #rp account #avalon rambles

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fox-mulder-gets-pegged · 1 year

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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

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ethereal-bumble-bee · 2 months

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Little reblog game thingy because I love making these (and want to show some love to my mutuals)! <3

#ask game #reblog game #reblog this #mutuals #tumblr mutuals #this has most definitely been done before but I came up with some questions lol #I hope this is at least a bit original lol #poll #tumblr poll #tumblr friends #tumblr polls #follow

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everchased · 1 year

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can someone please get these hoes under control i'm BUSY

#gun cw #it's EVERY 5 HOURS AT LEAST #AND THEY STAY UP???? LIKE NONE OF THE ONES I'VE REPORTED HAVE BEEN DEACTIVATED #GO AWAY #anyways...#my art #edit: everyone who says i look like [insert anime guy here] has holes in their brain hope this helps some of u figure out what's wrong

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chloesimaginationthings · 4 months

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I can’t believe FNAF movie Mike never got paid

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #william afton #steve raglan #springtrap #spring bonnie #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #spongebob squarepants #like that dudes boss and career manager both died in one go #at least game Michael got his small check #Mike schmit literally got nothing #I hope he gets a stable job 💀💀#yes this is the SpongeBob bit

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kittyprincessofcats · 3 months

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ICJ Ruling

Okay, let's get into this.

First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.

However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:

The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.

The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".

The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)

The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?

In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:

He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".

And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?

This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.

We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.

(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)

So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.

#ICJ #ICJ ruling #ICJ hearing #South Africa vs Israel #Free Palestine #Palestine #Palestinian genocide #Gaza #Germany #I get why Palestinians are disappointed and I don't want to devalue those feelings #(but maybe this can give you hope)#But thinking about this as a German this is huge #Most politicians and people here still deny (or at least strongly doubt) that there's a genocide happening #Calling it a genocide is seen as an 'extremist' position #And some of our politicians have been borderline gaslighting us and calling anyone who calls it genocide 'crazy'#So I'm just feeling immense vindication and a newfound fearlessness and motivation to be louder and more active than ever #and I hope others here feel the same #I hope the quiet masses stop being scared to say something now

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gallusrostromegalus · 6 months

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The Van Has Officially Declared It Spooky Season

---

I've got my parent's van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.

...I might need to back up a bit.

My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she'd need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they're past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.

They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it's own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.

Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.

My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.

Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I've been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.

It's a Great Van. Very easy and comfortable to drive. Stunningly good MPG for it's size. The best cruise control I've ever had in a car.

It's just also. Quirky. Mischievous, even.

---

If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny's last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted "FREE CANDY" on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.

It's got the same issue that Doberman Dogs have where they look like the sort of creature that likes to snack on toddler's faces whilst actually having personalities made of marshmallow fluff. This vehicle is unnecessarily menacing and I think nothing short of an airbrushed Epic Van Wizard will correct this. People see this van pull up and lean over and squint suspiciously at me when the driver's side door opens, and then look moderately confused when, instead of Charles Manson, a small, potato-shaped creature with neon purple hair and a statistically unlikely assortment of dogs emerges.

My own two dogs, Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin/Corgi and Charleston Chew The Taco Dumpster Dog, Do Not Like The Van. Even with the bed in it, they have a tendency to slide and roll around in the back, and both WILL chew through dog saftey belts or other attempts to secure them in there.

On the other hand, my house mate's dog, an exceptionally tall standard poodle whom we lovingly call "The Creature", loves the Van because SHE wears her doggy seat-belt with only mild complaining and gets to sit up in the passenger seat like A People.

Also like A People, The Creature likes to stand and walk around on her hind legs. It doesn't hurt her and it's entirely voluntary, but every so often I will feel a hand on my arm and instead of my husband or friend, it's a canine that's taller than I am on her hind legs who wants to stare at my face with soulful, concerned eyes. The Creature's favorite thing is that she is exactly the right height for me to hold her arm in Genteel Fashion and walk around the pet food or hardware store with her like I'm a count escorting a debutante around a royal ball.

---

As it stands, I am set to inherit this vehicle whenever my Honda gives up the ghost, and I fully intend to paint an Epic Van Wizard on it when that time comes.

The other peculiarity of The Van is that while Dad did manage to successfully install all his after-market electronics, not all the electronics get along. Sometimes, they fight for Dominance. The Terabyte Music Player and the Backup Camera have a particularly contentious relationship, and turning on the music has about a 25% chance of turning on the backup camera as well, and turning on the Backup Camera is equally likely to turn on the music.

Firthermore, The Van has a favorite song.

I am not kidding that Dad filled an entire terabyte hard drive with music and the software to sort it via the radio controls, but of all the Early Boomer Dad Rock (Kingston Trio over The Eagles) and Irish Folk and Symphonies and the entire discography of Weird Al Yankovic, The Van's favorite song- The one it picks to play as victory music every time it beats the Backup Camera at their weird electronic game of rock-paper-scissors -is The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.

You all know this song already.

...but in case you've forgotten the tune:

youtube

Yeah.

The Van's favorite song is the goddamn Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music.

It does not play this song at a normal volume.

Every time I turn on the Backup Camera and it manages to turn the music player on as well, The Van insists on absolutely blasting this nonsense on at the maximum volume it's physically capable of producing, which I know is loud enough to be heard from the Denver International Airport's Pickup zone when they Van decided to start playing it from the economy lot about half a mile away.

Perhaps it's The Van's way of honoring the aesthetic sensibilities and sonic enthusiasm of Mr. Sousa.

...I can't help but wonder if the purpose of an Epic Van Wizard is to control this sort of faerie-like malarkey, and channel these chaotic energies into things like Spell of Don't Break Down In Nevada or Enchantment Of Always Have Good Parking.

---

So last Friday the 13th, I get a call from my friend and housemate, at said airport.

It's roughly 11PM at night, and I have already retired for the evening. I am in the exact minimum of clothing required to be a decent housemate and not scandalize the neighbors should I happen to walk by a window. My feet are up. There is a cat in my lap and fictional British people murdering each other in highly inventive fashion on the tv. -But my friend has returned from her friend's wedding,and either American or United Airlines has managed to lose her luggage, including, among other valuable possessions, the keys to her car. ...So she cannot just drive home as originally planned.

There are, as luck would have it, her spare set of keys not eight feet from me.

Being a good and decent person, I agree to bring the spare keys to her so she may get home before daybreak and not spend a semester's worth of tuition on an uber across the greater Denver traffic jam.

Being also that she Loves Activities, and it's her mom we're going to pick up, I elect to take along The Creature.

I am primarily focused on remembering how to get to the airport and not leaving my friend's spare keys on the counter, so I throw on a pair of flip-flops, step outside, remember that it's AUTUMN and my minimal evening attire is not sufficient thermal protection, step back in, grab the first coat in the closet I lay hands on, pull it on, check that I have her keys again and leave.

The trip to the airport is largely unremarkable, save that it becomes necessary for me to put on sunglasses to drive, despite it being nearly the witching hour and almost entirely darker than the inside of a cow.

It's necessary because this blissful darkness of night is violently punctured by a startling number of cars that seem to have installed miniaturized but no less powerful lighthouse bulbs in where their headlights ought to go so the oncoming traffic and sports cars that insist on tailgating me in the slow lane alike illuminate the road and my mirrors with the kind of radiance I'd normally associate with the arrival of a Seraphim.

I arrive at the distant highly discounted airport car lot where my housemate is waiting, deeply apologetic. It's nothing. I say. Once I see that your car starts up, I'm gonna go to that 7-11 across the way that I parked in front of, get a slurpee or something and I'll see you at home.

While she is retrieving her vehicle (an equally eccentric but much more stately Subaru that is old enough to be elected to congress) I rifle through the loose change in the glove box and discover that I have exactly $6.66 in small bills and coins. The Subaru, continuing it's long voyage into vehicular immortality, immediately starts up.

Upon her return, we all remember that my friend had all her camping gear in the backseat of the car and there is no room for The Creature to ride home with her parent, so I again assure her it's nothing, and will just take The Creature into the 7-11 with me. She is trained as a service animal and needs the practice after the plague.

I wave my friend off and turn to enter the 7-11.

I promptly trip over the jutting back bumper of The Van and fall, cartoonishly, face-first onto the sidewalk.

Fortunately, I have a lot of practice falling on my face, and have learned not to throw my hands out but instead cover my face, so my unexpected self-inflicted attempted curb-stomping lightly scrapes my hairline and nothing else -my sunglasses even stay in place- and I get up and resume my quest for a slurpee.

It's well known that the airport is a lawless place, and the 7-11 across from the discounted airport parking at the stroke of midnight is no exception.

I know it's the stroke of Midnight because there's one of those Audubon society bird-call clocks that makes bird noises, and my arrival is heralded by the twittering call of a Summer Tanager. I am almost charmed enough by the unusual choice of chronological device to excuse the exorbitant Airport-adjacent mark-up of Slurpee prices. I stand at the machine for some time, trying to decide on a size for the price and guess what the fuck "Blue Lighting Blast" is supposed to taste like.

The Creature is being Very Polite but is somewhat agitated, I assume because she *just* saw her mother for the first time in three days and then she LEFT with no explanation, so The Creature is on her hind legs, staring woefully into my eyes, asking to be escorted around the 7-11. Even though that's not what she's not supposed to be doing, there's nobody else in here, so I let her hang off my arm and discuss various Slurpee Flavor options with her.

We eventually decide on an experiment in which I try a Small Blue Lightning Blast, and discover it tastes a bit like licking a nintendo cartridge but in a pleasantly satisfying way.

I go up to pay and realize something is amiss.

The Cashier is a young man staring at me with wide eyes, one had over the register and the other wrapped up in his rosary.

I look down at myself.

In my haste to reunite my friend with her spare keys and service animal, I had left the house in the following accoutrements:

Flip Flops. Not matching. It's below freezing outside. That last part is not particularly odd footwear for the weather in for Colorado, but it's an important detail for the rest of the ensemble.

Assorted scrapes, bruises, cuts and welts on my arms and legs that come with doing outdoor work and living in a house with three dogs and a fully-clawed cat that all want to be in my lap all the time. It's cold out, so vasoconstriction has pulled the blood away from my skin, a trait that served my ancestors well during the last Ice Age, but leaves me with pale skin to contrast the various wounds and I look like a corpse that fell out of the back of a pickup truck.

The black Bootyshorts with "CRYPTID" painted in bright red gothic font across my ass, that @theshitpostcalligrapher gave me for my wedding present.

A peculiar but extremely comfortable garment that straddles the line between "Lacy Camisole" and "Industrial-Strength Sports Bra" like the Ever Given straddling the Suez Canal. It is also Bright Red. with black accents.

The Jacket I had grabbed out of the closet, which is in fact, a black Velour Dinner Jacket.

The Tokyo-Ghoul inspired reusable anti-covid mask a friend made me with the set of Coyote Teeth.

My sunglasses, which are shaped like a Halloween Bat. The lenses are the wings and the body is the nose bridge. It is ALSO bright red.

A Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle that I have been audibly affectionately calling "Dear Creature" who is hanging off my arm like she's my Prom Date.

The Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle is ALSO dressed up in a black Dog Sweater that has white bones printed on it to look like its an X-ray jacket showing off her skeleton.

I look like I am taking my Very Fancy Werewolf Girlfriend to a particularly casual Dinner Party for Vampires, but the thing that's really selling it and probably alarming the kid the most is the fun accessory I acquired in the parking lot not five minutes earlier:

The "Small Scrape At my Hairline" is actually a painless but PROFUSELY bleeding head wound that I had somehow entirely failed to notice covering my face, neck, decolletage and magnificent cleavage with blood like a Tarantino Film Extra.

This does explain why The Creature has been delicately trying to use her bodyweight to push me down onto the floor for the last ten minutes. So I don't injure myself while we wait for the paramedics she hoped this kid called to arrive, you see.

The Creature has such a High and Naive Opinion of humanity.

I decide this social situation is already fucked, and the only way out is through, and with haste, before I start dripping on the floor.

"Hi there!" I say cheerfully, to indicate this is a visually alarming but not terribly serious situation. "Just a Small Slurpee!"

The Cashier has entered the relevant code into the register before I finish the sentence. His gaze flicks off me just long enough to look at the total, and he grips his Rosary harder.

$6.66

"Oh cool! I have exact change!" I say, taking the money out of my as-yet-unsanguined pocket without looking and slap it down on the counter. "You have a good night and be safe out there!" I wave, leaving.

I get in The Van, mortified, buckle The Creature up, and as I make to leave, I have to put it in reverse, which automatically turns on the backup Camera.

It also turns on the music player.

I make eye contact with the cashier as the dulcet tones of John Phillip Sousa boom from the van hard enough to make the windshield and the windows of the 7-11 rattle for the nine-and-a-half seconds I have to wait to be able to turn the volume back down. Not knowing what else to to, I give him a thumbs up, and leave.

Anyway, now I know what my Future Van Wizard has got to be dressed like, and what their familiar is.

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If you enjoyed this story, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Pre-ordering my Family Lore Funny Stories book on Patreon

#Family Lore #Dogs #It's Halloween babey #friday the 13th #blood mention #I hope that kid had a good night and at least one of his friends believed him #Long post #Video

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korppipoika · 1 year

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Snowball in Hell, acrylics, 30cmx20cm

I used a random piece of wire to paint the smallest details..!

#korppipoika #korppipoika art #traditional art #original stuff #artists on tumblr #acrylic painting #painting #i actually really like how this came out #scrunkly as intended!!!#edit;added autographs in these lets hope these show at least somewhere???#ps snowball is a little dogy not a cat!!!#i get why many people thinks them as cat but yea #also snowball is just snowball too and simply a pathetic little creature first and foremost #so it doesn't really matter that much what species yall see them as

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professorcalculusstanaccount · 2 months

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the most anticipated comic from this blog: White Boy Goes Dancing (follows directly from this)

Everyone's been sending me asks for this! I have a second part to this planned for the future. Watch this space!

#tintin #adventure of tintin #comic #chang #tinchang #fanart #swing dance #long post #probably the least tintin feeling comic ive posted here lol #must be the colour palette and genre shift #i put so much detail into this one it took a lot out of me lol #i hope you guys enjoy this!#my stories

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cyber-corp · 6 months

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Hey what was with you guys’ obsession with the Onceler from the Lorax movie?? You knew he was like…made up of pure capitalism right??? That he was an allegory for greed??

you knew that, right?

#he’s not just a pretty face #at least i hope you knew that #you can’t only like a person because they’re attractive #consider other factors #the onceler #gecko boy

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heritageposts · 21 days

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[...] During the early stages of the war, the army gave sweeping approval for officers to adopt Lavender’s kill lists, with no requirement to thoroughly check why the machine made those choices or to examine the raw intelligence data on which they were based. One source stated that human personnel often served only as a “rubber stamp” for the machine’s decisions, adding that, normally, they would personally devote only about “20 seconds” to each target before authorizing a bombing — just to make sure the Lavender-marked target is male. This was despite knowing that the system makes what are regarded as “errors” in approximately 10 percent of cases, and is known to occasionally mark individuals who have merely a loose connection to militant groups, or no connection at all. Moreover, the Israeli army systematically attacked the targeted individuals while they were in their homes — usually at night while their whole families were present — rather than during the course of military activity. According to the sources, this was because, from what they regarded as an intelligence standpoint, it was easier to locate the individuals in their private houses. Additional automated systems, including one called “Where’s Daddy?” also revealed here for the first time, were used specifically to track the targeted individuals and carry out bombings when they had entered their family’s residences.

In case you didn't catch that: the IOF made an automated system that intentionally marks entire families as targets for bombings, and then they called it "Where's Daddy."

Like what is there even to say anymore? It's so depraved you almost think you have to be misreading it...

“We were not interested in killing [Hamas] operatives only when they were in a military building or engaged in a military activity,” A., an intelligence officer, told +972 and Local Call. “On the contrary, the IDF bombed them in homes without hesitation, as a first option. It’s much easier to bomb a family’s home. The system is built to look for them in these situations.” The Lavender machine joins another AI system, “The Gospel,” about which information was revealed in a previous investigation by +972 and Local Call in November 2023, as well as in the Israeli military’s own publications. A fundamental difference between the two systems is in the definition of the target: whereas The Gospel marks buildings and structures that the army claims militants operate from, Lavender marks people — and puts them on a kill list. In addition, according to the sources, when it came to targeting alleged junior militants marked by Lavender, the army preferred to only use unguided missiles, commonly known as “dumb” bombs (in contrast to “smart” precision bombs), which can destroy entire buildings on top of their occupants and cause significant casualties. “You don’t want to waste expensive bombs on unimportant people — it’s very expensive for the country and there’s a shortage [of those bombs],” said C., one of the intelligence officers. Another source said that they had personally authorized the bombing of “hundreds” of private homes of alleged junior operatives marked by Lavender, with many of these attacks killing civilians and entire families as “collateral damage.” In an unprecedented move, according to two of the sources, the army also decided during the first weeks of the war that, for every junior Hamas operative that Lavender marked, it was permissible to kill up to 15 or 20 civilians; in the past, the military did not authorize any “collateral damage” during assassinations of low-ranking militants. The sources added that, in the event that the target was a senior Hamas official with the rank of battalion or brigade commander, the army on several occasions authorized the killing of more than 100 civilians in the assassination of a single commander.

. . . continues on +972 Magazine (3 Apr 2024)

#free palestine #palestine #gaza #israel #ai warfare #this is only an excerpt i hope you'll at least skim through the rest of the piece #there's an entire section on the 'where's daddy' system #(seriously just typing the name out feels revolting)

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