#at least i can fake myself out into believing i'm okay

[ms-demeanor]

sex work is work, no problem with that, but spamming sex work absolutely everywhere now is not okay. bot or not, it is not okay to shove your probably fake/stolen tits or ass into everyone's face even where kids are. it is absolutely the lowest, cheapest trash doing that. are these people showing their barely covered up pussy to school kids on the street to maybe get a customer? because they are doing exactly that on the internet. if you cant find customers and need to lower yourself to std ridden junkey trash standards who missed the way and entitled themselves to begging for money outside trash town, zero support from me!

Yeah you really sound like someone who supports sex workers. That's what I always think when I hear people using words like "disease-ridden" and "junkie" - 'wow, that person must be SUCH an ally. braver than any US marine, thank you for your service, person who believes sex work is work but thinks STIs or drug addiction are 'trash'.'

So, point by point:

It's not absolutely everywhere. You don't see people trying to link their onlyfans on facebook most of the time (i've actually never seen it but i could believe it is happening, though it's not common because FB has real-name policies that are unfriendly to sex workers). You're unlikely to see fansly links as sidebar ads on cspan. People aren't linking their pages in the amazon reviews. You're seeing it "everywhere" because you're not going anywhere. Tell me you spend all your time on two to three platforms without telling me you spend all your time on two to three platforms. Instagram, tiktok, twitter, and tumblr are full of people who are promoting all kinds of brands and one of those kinds of brands is sex work.

Those are also all platforms that have age restrictions and behavior standards, and of all of them tumblr is the one that has the history of being the most openly sexual and the least connected to legal identities. People are linking to their diy porn because of the culture of these websites both currently and historically. I once posted a video on this website of me bringing myself to orgasm in a public bathroom stall then inserting a dildo into my vagina before I went on stage and performed a set with my band. I did it for free and for fun five years ago, the week before the porn ban hit.

What I'm saying here is that the culture of this website has a much longer history of openness about sex and sexuality and the visual presentation of sex than it does of being full of people who think teens shouldn't see nipples. This is an *extremely* reasonable place to post information linking to porn that you make and to use cute pictures of yourself to do so.

It's also really easy to tell that these people aren't bots or using stolen images because the whole point of the live platform is that you can click through and go talk to them. Strange Aeons did just that and you can see what happened. (click on that video for a fun cameo at 6:04) Turns out live users are just a bunch of people (not networks stealing images the way that actual porn *bots* on tumblr do) and the ones who are trying to do sex work on the live platform itself get banned.

But also kids too young to see the occasional boob shouldn't be on tumblr! (like, seriously, define kids. what age is too young to see the kinds of images allowed by the tumblr live tos? how about the ones banned by the tumblr live tos? How old should you have to be before someone shows you an ahegao face on a hoodie in public? What should the punishment be for the ahegao fashionistas for exposing six year olds to anime tongues? What should the minimum age be to go on the beach and see men in speedos? Fifteen, or is that still abusive to children? Maybe we should make it twenty to be safe, or better yet why don't we make it twenty AND ban speedos? this is what you sound like, you fucking asshole). Tumblr has age limits and people under that age limit shouldn't be looking at most things on this website. A smiling woman in a bikini top or a dude with his abs out are fucking nothing compared to the kind of damage you personally and specifically are trying to inflict with your shitty ideas.

Posting t&a on tumblr is not at all comparable to doing street level work and soliciting children for a number of reasons, but I'd just like to really take the time to point out that you just compared the profile pics on tumblr live to sexually soliciting a child. You literally did the "x group i hate are pedophiles" thing, which is exactly why it's such a huge problem that any and all types of nudity have been stigmatized online. We have created an entirely new paradigm of "pedophile" that means "existed around a child while wearing tight pants." You are such a fucking clueless, sanctimonious pile of shit that you can't even see that that's what you're doing. This is literally, exactly kink at pride discourse.

And that's even if I grant you that these people are posting t&a! Go look at the live leaderboards, you don't have to accept the ToS to see the leaderboards! We are talking about *at most* saucy pin-up levels of eroticism. I have seen fucking holiday cards with more visible cleavage than any of the top 200 tumblr live streamers right now.

The only thing in your final sentence that makes any sense is that you are positioning tumblr as trash town.

Yeah. I'm actually not at all impressed by tumblr recently and that has a lot more to do with the influx or resurgence of nuance-allergic, anti-sex, whiny shits like you than it does with a banner that i can scroll past in a quarter of a second.

I want people reading this to really, really sit down and think about what they're calling assault or hypersexualiztion or whatever. We are talking about profile pictures. You are so offended by a bar of 4 profile pictures at the top of your dash that you're comparing regular ass humans (some of whom are sex workers and some of whom are just streamers who took thirst trap selfies) to the real life solicitation and abuse of children.

TOUCHING GRASS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PLEASE GO INTERACT WITH ACTUAL REAL HUMANS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT DASHCON OR MILKSHAKE DUCK ARE. YOU ARE CRITICALLY INTERNET POISONED AND IF YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE AT THE DMV AND DESCRIBED IT AS ASSAULTING CHILDREN TO HAVE SOMEONE IN A BIKINI ON A BILLBOARD THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. THINK OF THIS POST AS THE CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR TELLING YOU THAT THE SHADOWS YOU'RE SEEING AREN'T ACTUALLY DEMONS BUT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T GO OUTSIDE.

[kairiscorner]

HELLOOO 👋👋

can you do where Miles kisses reader but reader doesn't kiss back to tease him... when Miles pulled back and reader wipes her lips..

+i really love your one shots,, they got me giggling and sht 🤭

HI ANON 🫶🫶🫶 okay, so i'm not entirely sure if i did this one right, I HOPE I DID....... also i saw your other message, AND DW ABOUT IT, IT'S OKAYYYY we all make mistakes <:DD you're welcome here any time :3

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

just one kiss, that's all

"whaddya think, that was pretty good, no?" he asked you with a cheeky grin on his face as his mask was pulled upwards just a little bit. you weren't impressed in the slightest, or at least, that's how you wanted it to seem. you shrugged. "it was okay, morales." you said as he paced around the ceiling for a little, chuckling to himself at your apathetic response. "it's like you weren't even there and don't believe me! i'm telling you, that crook was getting nowhere near my lover." he said as he sauntered over to you as you sat down on your bed, looking up at him and raising an eyebrow, pouting your lips and keeping your arms crossed over your chest. "i can handle myself just fine, morales. you gotta worry about yourself." you said as he looked into your eyes lovingly with a lopsided grin on his face, because he knew you agreed to this little bet you two made, and miles doesn't forget rewards from his hard work so easily.

miles placed a hand on your cheek and smirked to himself as you gave no reaction, you were completely and utterly giving him silent and poker face treatment. "what's mi corazon doing now, hmm? you know, you're super cute when you smile and chuckle at my stupid stunts sometimes... but you pouting to them is much cuter." he teased you, to which you fake groaned at. "whatever, it isn't worth you getting scuffed up. even if you're spider man, you're still a boy." "correction, a man." he joked as he smiled wider at you. "the day you'll be a man is the day you get kisses from me without having to save me after i call for you." you said with a smirk up at him to match his confidence at that moment.

miles laughed a little as he neared your face. "now, come on, can't we get on with it, babe? i love you a whole lot, that's why i saved you. not just to... to feel your lips on mine, y'know..." he said as he ran a hand through your hair and got a little flustered in the face, and so did you, and you couldn't shake it off. "no. you put yourself in danger, you weren't in your suit when you saved me–" "but i saved you nonetheless, didn't i, mi amor?" he asked you with an eyebrow raise. "our bet was that you'd kiss me the minute i saved you, and it was in a minute. no rules were stated that i had to be in the suit." he said, and he had a point, but you turned away from him with an unwavering poker face. "still, i can't reward risky behavior; not even for you, morales." you said with a stern tome in your voice.

"you promised... come on, please don't leave your friendly neighborhood spider man all alone with unkissed lips..." miles whined, to which you took in a deep breath. you sighed, and looked at him, who was looking at you desperately for that reward of his that he so badly deserved. you caved, he was too cute for you to say no to.

"...fine." you said, finally giving in, as miles gasped in delight. "yes!" he exclaimed to himself softly. "okay, i promise i won't chicken out this time." he said as he cupped your face, and slowly... he kissed you, his lips were soft against yours. you held back all your urges to kiss him back, though, because even if you let him kiss you, you weren't going to fully reward him for his recklessness for a mere kiss.

as miles pulled away, he looked at you expectantly in your eyes for something, anything--any indication that you reciprocated his love, his emotions towards you. he smiled awkwardly, "love?" he called out for you. "come on now, don't be like that..." trying to fluster you, trying to flirt with you, to get you embarrassed for him, but all he was greeted with was your stoic expression, your unchanging, stoic expression.

the worst part was when you wiped his kiss off your lips, with him witnessing you doing so. you folded your arms in front of your chest again. "what?" you asked him in a slightly irritated voice when he didn't say anything after you did that. you turned to look at him, and he was on the verge of sobbing. "mi cielo... babe, what'd i do wrong? i just... i'd always save you, if this whole thing is about that, y'know... i'm sorry..." he said in a soft voice as he placed his hands on either sides of your face, his eyes going wider, sadder, and filling with tears knowing you didn't want to kiss him back. you sighed, and soon, you cracked a small smile. "i'm sorry, miles." you finally said as you placed your hands on his face now. "i can't reward stupid behavior, you know that." "but it wasn't stupid, you were in trouble. with or without the suit, as spider man or as miles morales, i'll always save you."

and that... that made you realize. that made you realize miles didn't care about the bet, about getting a kiss from you or showing off--he really wanted to save you that day because he knew you were in trouble, even if it jeopardized him and his identity as spider man. "really?" you asked him as you ran a thumb over his cheek. "really." he said, and soon, you pulled him in close to give him what he's needed all this time--the feeling of your lips against his. since miles wasn't the best teaser in the world and was easy to give in when it came to you, you felt him kiss you back, and it was an adoring, sweet sensation--the feeling of his soft lips against yours was enough to tell you that he genuinely loved you, more than any other boy had before towards you.

as he pulled away, he looked back at you, his face flustered so badly--and he smiled widely again. though his eyes looked glassy because of how he was almost about to cry at your teasing because he thought you didn't love him anymore, his anxiety was replaced with long overdue relief. "i love you, miles." you told him as he kissed your forehead. "and i love you, so... so much." he replied as he rested his forehead against yours, just feeling you near him, loving how near you are--how you're within reach of him, how he can just love you and it'd all be so right to both of you, despite the stunts he does to protect you;

because he loves you.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fictarian @zalayni @q2ie

#miles morales #earth 1610 miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #miles morales fluff #atsv #atsv fluff #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse

[purplecoffee13]

The Fake Girlfriend - pt. 2*

Summary: “The official fake dating can commence, and so can the exploration of a whole bunch of new… feelings.”

Wc: 4.9k

Tropes: semi-enemies to lovers (she hates him)

Warnings: jealousy, possessiveness, smut (f!receiving), a sudden deep analysis of wuthering heights followed by smut

*2 weeks later*

I'm going to move to Italy, seriously.

Ever since Harry and I arrived at the airport I haven't been able to stop myself from gawking at everything I've seen. That includes Harry's relatives, proving that his entire family consists of solely good genes.

The flight was excruciatingly long and a bit uncomfortable. Harry taught me as much as he could about his family, and we both complained about the hernia we were getting from our bad seats. Nevertheless, we both attempted to sleep, and I accidentally dozed off while leaning on his shoulder.

One of Harry's cousins, Matthew, picked us up at the airport. He was particularly fascinated with my existence, almost as much as I was with his accent. I love English accents, I could listen to them for hours on end.

Matthew led us to our room in the Villa and gave Harry a pat on the back before leaving us alone to unpack and get ready to meet the family.

"He's nice." I note, throwing my backpack on the Queen sized bed we have in this room.

"He's a little shit." Harry chuckles, earning a furrowed brow from me. He waves it off, literally, and sits himself on the bed. "You'll see."

We stay fairly quiet for the rest of the time, unpacking our stuff and freshening up. Well, mainly me, because Harry doesn't have to do half the things I do to look good. It's so much easier being a man.

I shoo Harry out of our bedroom and put on a long, brown dress with a wide slit and some floral print on it. As soon as I've changed, I open the door to the bathroom so he knows it's okay for him to walk back in. When he does walk back in, we both catch each other off guard.

While he is analyzing the dress that is currently clinging to my body, I'm gawking at his shirtless chest. My cheeks start to heat up when I realize that I'm staring, but luckily Harry doesn't notice because he's too busy staring at me. Then, he clears his throat.

"Nice dress."

"Thank you." I throw him a small smile.

It doesn't take long for Harry to get dressed and soon enough we are walking from our room to the villa, where the welcome dinner will be held, or at least that's what it said on the card that Harry handed to me on the plane.

We sit down at our assigned seats at one of many round tables. I don't miss the name tags of Harry's parents, and I'm glad to find that Matthew will also be sitting at our table. It will make things a bit less nerve racking.

Harry places his hand on the small of my back as he guides me to his mother. He looks just like her, and by the warm smile on her face, I realize that it probably won't be as bad as I might think it would.

"Mum, this is Y/N. The girl I've told you about. She's my girlfriend." The words leave his mouth in a way that makes me think someone is holding a gun to his head, and I can tell that his mother thinks the same thing.

"I'm Sheila." She introduces herself, nonetheless. I can tell that she is skeptical of me, despite the warm smile on her face. I know it's a genuine one, but I know that she knows her son, and she'll see something is up if he doesn't get his act together.

"This is Tom." She turns to a tall man that I immediately recognize as Harry's father. He doesn't have a lot of facial features from his dad, except for the nose, that is exactly the same. But the way he carries himself, the way he extends his hand for me to shake, those are the aspects that make Harry identical to his father.

We chat with his parents for a little, telling our wonderfully fake story of how we met. Tom keeps nodding but doesn't seem fully convinced. Not because he doesn't believe it, but probably because of the girl he'd rather have his daughter be with; the reason I'm here in the first place. Sheila remains skeptical, but that is just because she can see right through Harry.

So when his parents leave to get some food from the buffet, I'm quick to swat his arm.

"Ow!" He hisses at me.

"You're a terrible actor, do you know that? Your mom is totally on to us!" I say in a soft tone, but it doesn't discredit my disapproval.

"I'm sorry okay! It's hard to lie to her." He responds, and the confession makes my heart melt a little.

I let him off with a roll of the eyes and we join the queue for the buffet. During dinner, Matthew promotes himself to main entertainer of our table by telling countless of stories about him and Harry and all of their antics from back in the days. Harry seems slightly embarrassed sometimes, but he finds it funny nonetheless.

In an attempt to make me and Harry seem like more of a real couple, I take it upon myself to touch him during dinner. Just casual touching. Some hand-holding—above the table so everyone can see of course—and the occasional leg rub. It's only halfway through dinner that Harry finally initiates some touches to, and I have to bite my inner lip at the way his hand feels wrapped around my thigh.

After dinner, a few tables are removed in order to create a dance floor. People are quick to get on it, but Harry refuses to come along with me. Matthew doesn't let the opportunity to bust a move pass, so I leave my purse with Harry and get on the dance floor with him.

We have a big laugh, Matthew and I. He spins me around an absurd amount of times, dramatically dances the tango with me while a pop song is playing, and throws out some moves that I haven't seen since I played Just Dance when I was eight years old.

After a while I decide to retire from the dance floor and get a drink. Matthew offers to accompany me, and for a second I contemplate whether I should say yes. Then I figure, he is a part of Harry's family and I need as many of them on my side for this whole act to be believable, plus I'll be able to get Harry a drink.

We walk over to the bar and order our drinks, Matthew is quick to spark up a conversation as we wait for our beverages.

"How long have you been together again?" He asks, looking over at me with a smirk.

"A month, officially." I reply, and he raised his brows in surprise.

"Only a month, huh?"

"Like I said, officially." I tilt my head, a mischievous smile on my face. He leans over in my direction, with eyes ready to play, and I immediately start to wonder if the head tilt was too flirty instead of funny and playful.

"And unofficially?"

"Almost three months." I divert my eyes back to the drinks that are put in front of me, and thank the bartender.

"Is it serious? Between you two?" He asks, and I don't like the glint of desperation in his voice. Is this what Harry meant, when he said 'you'll see'? Is this guy seriously trying to hit on his cousin's date?

"Well, I cancelled spring break plans with my family, so I sure hope it is." I flash him a smile before taking the drinks and walking back to Harry.

He's sitting alone, despite most every seat around him being taken. Not talking to anyone, not on his phone, just staring into the nothingness. When I approach, he's thrown out of his trance and his eyes follow me instead as I make my way to him and hand over his drink.

"Whiskey on the rocks." I tell him. He smiles at me, putting the glass on the table and grabbing my now free hand. His legs are spread, so he pulls me closer until I'm standing in between them. He looks up at me, and the sole color of his eyes makes my hands sweat profusely.

"Are you having fun?" He asks, his head tilting just like mine did a few seconds ago.

"I am," I say, looking around a bit. "But my legs are a bit tired... Is there a free chair behind you?"

I squint at something that looks like a chair, but I can't really make it out from this angle. When Harry doesn't respond, I look down at him, and find that he was already looking at me. He grabs my waist and pushes me in a bit. Confused, I let my body follow his silent demands, and watch him sit up straighter before pulling me onto his lap.

My back leans against the table, and my legs are thrown over his left one. I hold my drink in my right hand while my left is slung over his shoulder for 'support'. My cheeks flush at the realization that my ass is right on his groin, but I try to make it seem as if it doesn't affect me at all. He holds my waist with his right arm, tracing his fingers around in a way that makes my body shiver.

My eyes fly to my left thigh when he puts his other hand on it, and I try to steady my breathing as much as humanly possible while the tingling sensation between my legs becomes too adamant for me to ignore. The low chuckle that leaves Harry's mouth isn't missed by me, and it makes me even more nervous. He notices, and strikes up a conversation about the party, his family and Matthew.

"He asked me how long we've been official." I decide to tell him. Harry finds it amusing.

"Really?" He smiles. "The fucker."

"What?" I ask, not really understanding how that question adds up to him being a fucker.

"He wants you, been eye fucking you ever since he met you." He explains. "He has a thing for unavailable people, especially if they're unavailable because of me."

"So he just steals your girlfriends? Or at least, tries to?" I clarify, eyes wide, and Harry nods. "How have you not been in thousands of fights already?"

"Never really cared about it." He shrugs. "Most girls were just flings or one night stands, it wasn't anything serious, really."

"Wow." I laugh in disbelief, and it makes me wonder if maybe he is going to let Matthew hit on me. After all, we're faking this. It shouldn't be relief that I feel when Harry's grip on me tightens as soon as Matthew approaches us once again, but I do, I feel relieved. A little bit giddy too.

"Hey, wanna go for a round two?" Matthew asks me after greeting us both. I'm about to decline his offer, but I don't get a chance to speak.

"She's busy." Harry says in a tone that makes my head turn to him. His eyes don't look as friendly as they did before, and the warm smile on his face is looking a little bit more cynical. Matthew takes the hint and wanders off, a bit of disappointment on his face.

"Wow, you really nailed that 'jealous boyfriend' act." I tease him, my left hand instinctively trailing to the back of his head, where I start playing with his hair. He rolls his eyes, pulling me even more into him. I shift in his lap a bit, placing my drink on the table and grabbing his glass instead.

"Here." I hand it to him. "You haven't drank anything since dinner."

"Wow, you're really nailing that 'caring girlfriend' act." He reconstructs my words, and I roll my eyes accordingly. He drinks nonetheless, and I snatch the glass from him, take my cocktail back in my hand, and turn to him again. I frown when his nails dig into my skin.

"Don't move so much."

My cheeks instantly flush. Right...

I am usually way more confident when it comes to flirting. I know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to flutter with my eye lashes in those ways that make men want to drag you to their bedroom. I can flirt with everyone, I'm not easily impressed. Well, except with Malcolm of course, but that was just because I had a crush him. I act like an idiot around people I have a crush on. But I don't. I don't have a crush on Harry. I hated him until a few weeks ago– no. Until a few days ago. I started tolerating him on the plane. Yes, the plane. Oh god, the plane.

"I–" I start a sentence, looking him dead in the eye while realizing that I didn't have something to finish it with. His green eyes along with the feeling of whatever I shouldn't be feeling while sitting on his lap is making me dizzy. "I'm gonna go get a drink."

I try to wiggle out of my seat — which is his lap, oh my god — but Harry seems to find this whole situation very amusing, because for some reason he tightens his grip around me — pushing me more into his hard-on —then nods at the full glass in my hand.

"I think you're good, love." He gives me a half-smirk like I've only seen those guys in the romance movies do and I don't like how it makes my heart pound. What the fuck is happening to me right now?

I look at him, trying to come up with some kind of response that doesn't end up with me sounding like an absolute moron, and then I get lost in his eyes. The loud music fades, and the only thing I can seem to focus on are his eyes and his left hand that grazes further up the slit of my dress. It's only inches, and he trails painfully slow, but he keeps going because he waits for my reaction and it's positive. He can tell by the look in my eyes, and by the way my grip on his hair is a bit too tight.

The tips of his fingers are dangerously close to my panties, and all of a sudden, the music becomes louder again and I feel like I'm waking up from a sinful dream. I swing my legs off of his and get up, my drink almost spilling because of the sudden action. I quickly place it on the table.

"Pee." I say, partly to myself and partly to Harry. "I'm going to... pee."

Harry looks a bit surprised, but more in a way that makes him laugh. I don't miss how his head shakes a bit before giving me a permissive hum. I begin to walk away when I realize a crucial detail is missing, and so I saunter back over to Harry.

"Do you know where the bathrooms are?"

"No." He smirks.

"Oh. okay. Uhm..." I look around aimlessly, hoping to spot some kind of sign. But then, Harry gets up, and stands in front of me. He towers over me easily, it's intimidating and hot. Two things I need him not to be if I want to survive this wedding.

"D'you want to go back to the room?" He asks, voice gone a bit softer. I nod before I even realize that I am doing it, and Harry places a kiss on my temple. Grabbing my hand, he leads us towards the exit, waving goodbye to his parents before we make our way back over to our bedroom.

The cobblestones define the pace of our footsteps, making a whole lot of noise to confirm us where we are. Not that I'd need those stones to find him—he's still holding my hand. I shrug it off, it's dark and he probably doesn't want me to fall face first into these little rocks.

Once we've arrived at our room, Harry walks into the place like it's his apartment, and he goes to occupy the bathroom almost immediately. I grab my white, floral pyjama set that I actually never wear because I like to wear an oversized t-shirt to bed and nothing more. But, I packed my suitcase with the knowledge that I was going to have to lay next to a man the whole week, so I only brought the cute stuff.

When Harry leaves the bathroom, some steam leaves along with him, and I quickly look away at the revelation that he is shirtless, again. I don't miss the amused sniff, but I ignore it nonetheless. I skip into the bathroom, lock it and take a very anticipated shower. A part of me hopes that the water would also wash this weird vibe off. Like if I got out and walked back into that bedroom, my hands wouldn't start to sweat at the sight of him on the bed.

Unfortunately, I am wrong. Because when I do leave the bathroom, not only do my hands start to sweat, but my heart also begins to pound. Fuck.

I'd actively been ignoring this ever since the party. This stupid feeling, thinking it was just me being touch deprived. But I'm not so sure now. Maybe I do have a crush on Harry. However, I can't afford to think about that too much now, so I shake it off and walk over to my side of the bed.

I throw a decorative pillow on the ground and climb into the bed, trying to act as if I don't notice Harry staring at me. He's on his phone, doing God knows what. I grab my book from the bed side table.

"Wuthering Heights, huh?" He smirks, and I can sense the pretentiousness from miles away. I look at him, then roll my eyes with a smile.

"Shut up, it's my favorite story."

"Why? Heathcliff is awful." He frowns, and his tone is a bit mocking. Not to me, just to the story. But it's my favorite story, so I take the offense.

"I just like the fact that it acknowledges that love can make you both whole and destroy you. That loving isn't always really the ending, or the solution. It can be a fleeting middle, break you in a thousand pieces and then leave it for you to pick up the pieces yourself."

"That's a bit pessimistic, innit?" He chuckles. I shrug.

"I think it's realistic to recognize that spite, anger, sadness, and revenge are almost always born out of love, or a lack of it. I think it's optimistic, actually."

He smiles. "Yeah?"

"Mhm." I hum. "Think it creates a space for empathy, does it not?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Harry frowns, as if I've just opened a new door for him. I smile at his face, full of contemplation over what I just said and I know that I'm inevitably screwed.

He should've bashed the freaking book so I could have a reason to hate him.

I decide that I won't be able to concentrate on anything anyway now that I have admitted these weird feelings to myself—and the subject of those feelings is laying next to me—so I shut the book and put it back on my nightstand. 

"Not reading after all?"

"Nope." I chime, my tone sounding way too forced. "Changed my mind. 'M gonna sleep."

I turn off the light on my bedside table and turn around to Harry who is still laying with his phone in his hands. It freaks me out that he is looking at me, it makes me so nervous, but I try my best to be cool.

"Good night." I sigh as my head hits the pillow. I finally look up at Harry—bad move—and my heart melts a bit at his sweet smile.

"Good night."

I am laying with my face towards Harry, mainly because I laid down like that and now I'm too scared to shift too much and look weird, but I feel Harry's burning gaze on me and frankly, it's making me feel incredibly tense. My heart is beating way quicker than it should and I have to consciously steady my breathing in order to provide my lungs with some oxygen.

"Harry." I finally say after three more minutes of tense silence, eyes still closed. He hums softly. "I can feel you looking at me."

I open my eyes, because suddenly I'm very afraid that I'm wrong and look like a complete fool, but he is indeed still staring. He doesn't look like a dear in headlights, he's just smiling. There is a sense of comfort in him that I envy, especially because I feel like I could explode right now.

"Yeah, well, you're nice to look at." He answers, making my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I quickly dart my eyes to his body so I won't have to meet his confrontational gaze — bad idea, bad idea! — and quickly find that staring at his body isn't going to help my case any more.

"Am I making you nervous?" He asks softly, in a way that you could almost describe as sweet. But it isn't, because I know he's reveling in this.

Out of instinct, I look up at him, wide eyed at the fact that he read my mind and my body so well. But I cannot afford this—whatever it is that is hanging in the air right now—so I shake my head.

"Nope, just frustrated." I sigh, which is more a way to get my breathing back to normal. I pull myself up and turn around, my back now towards him, and hope to have closed the conversation for tonight. There is some shuffling from the other side and for a moment I think I did it, I think I won, but then I feel a hand sneak around my bare waist and my mind turns into jelly.

I suck in a sharp breath at the touch of his cold hand and the heat of his mouth on my ear, and swallow a whine at the way it's making my head spin.

"Do you need me to help you relax?" He whispers, and I suck in a deep breath.

"I– I need to sleep." I attempt to reason — mainly with myself — and Harry just chuckles.

"I can think of a way to tire you out." He insinuates smugly and I clench my jaw at his stupid charisma and how well it's working on me.

"Harry, I can't..." I begin the sentence, even though I have no logical argument to say no right now. I want him, really bad but a part of me is forbidding it for reasons unknown, which makes me want it even more. You know what they say about forbidden fruit...

"What? Would you rather be with my cousin? Have him get you off, hmm?" He asks a bit condescendingly, which makes me think the jealous act maybe wasn't such an act after all. His thumb is now circling over my hips and it's making me dizzy, which is exactly what he's trying to do to me.

"No–"

"No?" He plays dumb. His hand lowers to my pyjama shorts and starts playing with it's elastic band. My stomach is on fire and my pussy is aching, it's getting too much for me to brush off. I can't not get off, it's going to kill me. I need life support.

"No!" I whine. He chuckles, kisses my ear lobe.

"That's right... you came to me when he started hitting on you. Such a good, sweet, loyal girl. Sitting on my lap so nicely. Making me so fucking hard..." He taunts, and I start squirming under his touch.

"Harry..." I cry out, because frankly, I can't take another second of this torture. I'm about to implode if he doesn't touch me where I need it between now and twenty seconds.

"What is it sugar?" I can quite literally hear his grin and I groan at the irritating pet name. I grab his arm and try to get out from under his touch, but his grip only tightens on me and he pulls me back into him, cock pressed against my ass. He hums disapprovingly.

"No, feel what you did to me." He leans over to look at me and when our eyes catch, I think my heart malfunctions. "'S not very nice, now is it?"

I shake my head, biting my lip nervously. His eyes dart from mine to my mouth as he breaths out a 'fuck', and he wipes some hair out of my face with his free hand.

He pulls his body away from mine and for a moment I feel like I could cry, but he distracts me by laying me on my back and throwing the sheets off our bodies. He then quickly slips his hand in my pants, grazing his fingers over my underwear.

I look at him, desperately waiting for his next move while he studies my body with a light frown. My eyes go to his sweatpants, and see the straining bulge that hides in it. I go to touch him, offer him some release too but he swats my hand away. The stern look on his face gives me shivers.

"I didn't say you could touch me, now did I?" He states, rubbing his middle finger over my clit, and I curse my underwear for being the only thing that stands in the way of his real touch. Nevertheless, I moan, because he could literally blow on my underwear and I would come right then and there.

"'M sorry." I say softly, shifting when Harry starts to pull down my shorts and underwear. He inspects me, or at least that's what it looks like, and a grin grows on his face.

"I think you'll make it up to me just fine." He beams and starts to circle my clit, causing my hips to shoot up in surprise. He chuckles softly.

"Does that feel good, baby?" He asks and I nod immediately. My eyes begin to feel heavy and I don't know for how much longer I will be able to keep going.

"Harry, slow down or I'm gonna..." I can't get the sentence out because he only starts rubbing faster, and my eyes shut permanently.

"Yeah? You gonna come for me already?" Harry taunts, and I bite my lip to steady the volume of the moans that are leaving my mouth.

"Ah! Oh my– Harry!" I try to sound angry but it's really just me moaning his name very aggressively and the realization that it's his fingers on my clit right now is what sends me over the edge. The explosion feels overdue, and it washes away all the unnecessary tension I'd been feeling since I started fake dating Harry. And now I realized; it was probably sexual frustration.

I close my eyes, trying to control my breathing as well as I possibly can. My legs are shaking and I can feel Harry hovering over me. His body heat warms my cheeks as he hangs over me, leaning on the bed with one arm, holding my face with the other.

"Open your eyes baby." He says softly, and it makes my heart flutter. I am in deep, deep trouble. I do as he says, my eyes meeting his, and the smile on his face makes me feel like I'll melt through the bed.

"You okay?" He asks, stroking my cheek. I nod, head still woozy but not wanting us to stop any time soon.

"I'm okay." I give him verbal confirmation, knowing it's what he needs from me. He kisses my temple, whispers 'good girl' in my ear and moves away from my face.

As soon as I have my breathing a bit under control, my hands reach for his sweatpants, but he Harry grabs my wrists and pushes me away. I frown, and I have to admit that my ego is a bit hurt. I feel like he can see it in my face, because he is quick to explain.

“Believe me I would love to, but another night, okay? Tonight was just for you.”

I can quite literally feel my entire body melt at his words, and it doesn’t help when he gets off the bed and helps me up so I can go to the bathroom.

After I’m done and enter the room again, he is sat up straight at the edge of the bed, and looks at me expectantly. I shoot him an awkward smile and get back into bed. He does the same and we lay silently in the dark for a while.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to…?” I can’t help but ask, feeling like I should return the favor, and still insecure about the fact that he doesn’t want me to.

“Patience, sugar.” He says lowly, and my heart thuds at the kiss I feel being planted on my forehead. The amount of calm I feel is unmatched, and it makes me very sleepy.

“Whatever you say, hot stuff…”

Part 3

#harry styles #fanfic #writing #smut #blurb #fanfiction #harry #one shot smut #one shot #smutty #enemies to lovers

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Fake Love Part 4/8

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

18+

Reader is a kindergarten teacher. Nothing more nothing less. But following an accident whistle vacation in Dubai she somehow makes her boyfriend believe that she does somthing else for a living, something that earns her way more money than she has. Her boyfriend, Ruben, is just happy to have found someone who understands him so well, someone who doesn't want him for his money since money isn't an issue for neither reader or himself. Or so thinks. Would finding out the truth ruin their newfound relationship? Readers thinks so, and does everything to keep up the lie, although it has some bad people from the middle east looking for her.

Enjoy!

"Taxi!"

You called for one outside of the airport in London. You were tired from the journey and longed for a hot shower back at your apartment.

"Taxi!" You shouted, quite desperate for one to pull up.

"Y/N, chill." Alicia said. "Our ride will be here in a minute."

"Our ride?" You frowned.

Alicia nodded, phone still pressed to her ear. "I'm consulting the Siddiq family right now, see if they can send us a...."

Alicia's eyes widened with terror as you lunged for her phone, forcing her to hang up.

"Whatta fuck Y/N!"

"Are you crazy?" You hissed

"Am I crazy, are you crazy Y/N? Give me back my phone for fuck sakes."

You held her phone behind your back, refusing to return it. "Alicia we are not doing this. We can not continue spending somone elses money. It has to end. Right now."

"Why? They owe us don't they?"

"No Alicia, they owe us nothing, especially not you." It was not her leg that grilled in the fire. "The Siddiq family has shown us enough kindness then we deserve, this will not go on any longer, agreed?"

She didn't agree. However, she could tell how serious you were about this. "Fine." She said, stretching out a hand, demanding her phone back.

"Who are you gonna call?"

"Well, it's not Ghostbusters, is it? I'm calling a taxi."

You handed her back the phone, a sly smile on your face.

The days passed quickly there on, like your time in Portugal never happened. The burn on your leg healed but roughly, the skin not as smooth on that part of your leg. The only times it bothered you was when you got out of the shower, standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror. However, no one was gonna see you naked, at least not for some time. Yes, you felt guilty for giving Ruben a fake number, but you held your ground when it came to not live off of some rich business man in Dubai. It was the only reason Ruben was interested in you in the first place, because he thought you were rich like him. But no more lies. Meeting Ruben was a lie and even though falling for him felt real it was built on a lie and no relationship could ever flourish from somthing like that, right?"

"Miss?"

"Miss?"

"Yes, Simon?"

You snapped out of your daydreams, peering over your desk to see one of your kindergarten students with a pen up their nose."

"It's stuck." He said.

You sighed, rising from behind your desk. "Let's go to the nurses office shall we?"

"Okay."

You had one of your colleagues come in and cover for you whilst you escorted Simon to the school nurse. Yes, your life was really back to it's glamorous self.

"Hey, Y/N? Need a lift?"

It was Byron, seen crossing the school parking lot to get to you. You were really not in the mood, still adjusting being back to work. All you wanted to do was go home and lay in your bath.

"Sure Byron, why not."

He was considered a friend, although you know he never really got over your brief hook up in university.

"The kids are glad to have you back."

"Oh, thanks Byron. That's nice of you to say."

He drove you home the long way, avoiding the highway that would only take you ten minutes to arrive.

"Not only the kids." He added. "I missed you too."

Your smile was stiff, but at least it was something.

"When Nina told me what happened to you in Dubai I got so worried that I had to take a day off just to calm myself down, not to worry the kids that their teacher wasn't coming back to work."

"That sweet of you Byron. But it wasn't a serious thrid degree burn, my skin heald pretty quickly." Your boss Nina made it seemed like you lost a limb or something. Mainly because Alicia's dramatic Tik Tok's had people assuming the worst. Even your parents called you in concern after your brothers came across one of Alicia's vlogs from the hospital in Dubai.

"Well, I'm just glad you're back."

"Thanks Byron."

He was a sweet guy, not relationship sweet, but a descent human being sweet. You appreciate how much he cared for you as a friend.

"I have no problems giving you a ride to and from work, I mean we're basically on the same schedule."

"Thanks Byron, but I don't think that will be necessary."

Alot of people had offered to help you out,  even your boss suggested you'd cut back on your hours a work, however, it wasn't necessary. You needed something to take your mind off things. With things you meat, your agonizing thoughts of what could have been between you and Ruben.

Arriving home, you grabbed yourself a light snack from the fridge whilst waiting for your hot tub to fill with water. Once it did you, stripped yourself of your clothes, slipping I to the scolding water, allowing the heat to relax your muscles. You did not stay relaxed for long though, seeing as there was an incoming facetime call from your phone. "What?" You grunted, since now was not the time to hear about the latest gossip at Alicia's workplace.

"Hey, gorgeous,"

You stiffened at the sound of his voice.

"Ruben?"

You were looking into the screen of your phone, in disbelief of who was staring back at you. It was Ruben, with his hair sprouting in every direction as he looked to lay back in a bed, one arm draped behind his neck. "Um...hi." You stuttered, not really sure how any of this was possible.

Ruben smiled "I just wanted to see how you're doing and see if you're missing me as much as I'm missing you."

"Um, how...?"

"Did I get your real number?" He chuckled.

Heat rose to your face.

"Well, after calling "your number" over a hundred times, Fabio let me get in touch with your friend who told me what was going on."

"Alicia gave you this number?"

"Mhm." He nodded, tossing what looked to be a grape, into his mouth. "She told me that you thought that I wasn't that into you, that perhaps I was only out to screw you over or something."

"She did what?"

"It's ridiculous, I agree. How do you even come up with something like that? I mean you're the one who screwed me over by letting me call a fake number like an idiot."

There was a jab in your stomach as his tone was serious, laced with sincere hurt. "Ruben I'm so sorry. I didn't..."

"Let's not play the blame game." He waved. "Your friend made it clear that you haven't been dating for a while and that your game might be a bit stiff."

"Pardon?"

Ruben laughed.

"I am not stiff."

"I believe you." He said, although he had trouble talking between laughs. "I mean you look pretty relaxed in that bathtub back there."

You gasped when you realized. "Oh my god. Ruben I'm...." Embarrassed. You were terrible embaresssed, sinking deeper into the water to cover yourself. You and Ruben hadn't talked for days and the first thing he sees is you slipping him a nipple.

"It's okay, Y/N, really. The view is great from here."

"Oh shut up."

You put the phone away, letting Ruben have a good view of your bathroom ceiling. The tub needed more water, and bubbles, lots of of bubbles.

"There you are." He exclaimed, once you returned to the screen, now neck deep in in the water. "Thought I lost you for a sec."

"Ruben, maybe now is not the time." You said, tormentented by how stupid you must come across to him.

"Y/N." He said, his voice now restrained.

"What?" You muttered, trying to stare at anything but the screen.

"Look at me."

Your eyes looked up, meeting Ruben's kind gaze.

"You're good, okay. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by calling unexpectedly. I just...." He sighed, a hand running through his already messy hair. "I can't seem to get you out of my mind."

You sunk deeper into the water,  biting down on your lip. "Me too. I can't stop thinking about you either."

"Well, when can we meet?" He seemed excited that your feelings were mutual.

"Ruben, I'm not sure I'll be going back to Portugal anytime soon. I mean I have a job to do and..."

"Y/N." He said. No. Chuckled.

"What's so funny?" You frowned

"You really don't watch football do you?"

"What do you mean?"

Ruben sat up in bed, showing off the tracksuit he was wearing. "You said you've heard of Manchester United, no?"

"Yes, the English team that you told me played in the Premier League."

"Right. Well I play for their arche rivals Manchester City, meaning I live in Manchester, England."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah."

"So, you're not from Portugal?"

He chuckled. "I'm from Portugal Y/N, I was born and raise there. But just like you I was just on vacation. I got back to Manchester yesterday."

"So what you're saying is that we're both in England as we speak?"

"Yes. And my team has fixtures in London all the time, meaning I'll be able to come see you between games."

"Right."

The problem was that you had once again lied to Ruben when he asked you were in England you lived. You figured London sounded more suitable abode for a business woman, not Chells Way, Stevenage.

"Y/N, you alright?"

The downside about facetime was that your emotions were all on display. Ruben clearly caught your reaction to his offer and it was not what he had expected.

"Of course, there is no pressure for us to meet." He said, clearing his throat. "I just thought, that it was something that we both wanted."

"I want to meet." You nodded, although your voice betrayed you. "I just...my job, you know?" It was another lie. You were piling lie upon lie on this fake love of yours. Nevertheless, Ruben ate it all up, nodding understandingly. "I get it."

He was so kind. He didn't deserve this from you, from anyone.

"Ruben?" You whispered, following a moment spent in silence.

"Yes."

"I really missed you."

A muscle jerked in the corner of his lips. "I missed you too."

"Tell me." You sighed, leaning back against the tub, splashing water around yourself. "Tell me how much you've missed me."

Ruben froze for a brief moment, seeing you redirect the camera angle in a way that revealed more of your body.

"Alot." He gulped, watching you dip a hand between your legs.

"Yeah? Tell me more."

He couldn't see all of you through the murky water. But as the layers of bubbles disappeared with your slow shifts, the swell of your breast resurfacing.

"Oh, baby don't do this to me." Ruben's head fell back against his pillows as he too adjusted his camera angles. You watched him slip a hand down his sweatpants and stroke whatever he was hiding in there. "I missed you so much, wishing you were here, with me." He moaned, chest heaving up and down with his heavy breathing.

"Ruben, please. Tell me what you want to do to me." You up the pace of the movement between you legs. You we drawing small circles against your clit, the sensation sending chocks of lightning to your body's nerve endings.

"I want to fuck you, hard." He groaned.

"Yeah, and?"

"Fuck you hard and watch your tittes bounce when you ride me."

"Yes, and?" You were squinting your eyes, primitive moans leaving your mouth, echoing throughout your bathroom.

"And..." He grunted on the edge of something. His movements down his pants were faster than yours, unable to contain himself.

"And, Ruben? Please tell me."

"Baby, I can't. I'm close." Ruben's camera shook with the bouncing of his bed. You watch him please himself, please himself to the image of you.

"Me too baby, me too." You arched your back in the tub, one of your legs going over the edge, opening yourself up wider. "Look at me baby, watch me come for you."

He seemed unable to multitask, having to slow down as not to make himself come before you. He watched you please yourself to the point of screaming his name, you're fingers buried deep inside of you.

"Fuck." He groaned, staining his bedsheets with the erruption of his cock.

"That felt good." You smiled, regaining your breath, coming down from the high. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Me neither." Ruben said, no longer in his bed. He looked to be in a small bathroom, washing his hands. "Sametime tomorrow?"

You shook your head, unable to hide your smile. "Goodbye Ruben."

He smiled, a cheeky smile. "Goodbye Y/N."

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #football angst

[sixofpomegranates]

☠︎ Tutor ☠︎

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Carver!Fem!Reader

Word count: 13K (it's a long one | That's what she said.)

Summary: Trading tutoring for guitar lessons, Reader’s hopeless crush on the towns freak doesn't seem so hopeless after all.

☞ Picture does not describe the looks of the reader!

A/N: !Body & Skin color Neutral! Reader! IMPORTANT: Jason is also still alive. Reader is Jason's cousin and grew up with Robin as her best friend. They worked together with Steve at Scoops Ahoy.

CW: Smut, Fluff, Angst 18+| Eddie (Bullying/Self-Deprecation/Feeling of not being good enough) It is implied that Eddie has ADHD or is at least in the spectrum, [y/n] (Rich Parents not supporting your dreams/Shady family wealth-white supremacists) Mentions of Vecna/Chrissy/S4/Near-death experience/Scars/Nightmares, Pining, Drugs & use of (Weed), Making-out, Fingering, Penetrative Sex (Virginity/Loss of virginity, Unprotected, Creampie)

Pinning my tutoring flyer on the board in school, I sigh. Another year of tutoring to have more than this couple of peanuts my parents consider my pocket money, I guess.

Fun fact, it's called pocket money because it's little enough to fit in your pockets, even if Dad gives it to you in pennies.

But okay, I want something, I'm eighteen, and I am able to earn the money for it. Sure, my uncle and aunt just bought Jason a new car because our family name's soaked in wealth, and apparently, we think that the price of a dead girlfriend is exactly the same as for an Audi 5000CS Turbo Quattro; but okay...

If anyone in my family would know that the disaster that was March and the giant earthquake were actually a real-life boogie man coming to collect teens; and that there was something the kids I tutored over the last years called 'The Upside Down', I'd get my guitar lessons paid within the blink of an eye...

But Robin, Steve, and Nancy were very clear about why I've got to keep it to myself.

So no hero status or guitar lessons for me, only tutoring either a child that Steve will adopt the second it comes into his five-mile radius or a stupid jock that will try flirting with me every session and stare at my cleavage instead of his books.

Simply not fair.

As somebody reaches past me to grab my flyer, I jump so severely that my headphones fall off my ears, and the smell of marihuana fills my nose.

"Jesus," I mutter, turning to the person behind me and meeting the face of Hawkins's most hated man. Eddie Munson.

March has fucked up everyone; me being particularly jumpy and having my walkman on all the time is actually one of the better outcomes.

Eddie is now hated by most. They couldn't link him to a satanic cult (Just officially named him a freak and loser that likes dungeons and dragons, which seems to be a gateway drug to demon worshipping now...) and with the government and Chief Hopper's help, they also stopped trying to convict him of Chrissy's murder, but the town hates him.

They still believe he has something to do with it, whether proven innocent or not.

How he still makes it through the day, a big smile on his lips, truly baffles me.

"So, you're tutoring?" he asks, not looking up from my flyer. I nod. "Yeah, need the money."

"You only tutor the freshmen or..." "Everyone's welcome," I smile, turning off my music. "Even the full-on, nonconformist metalheads."

Cocking his head, he raises his eyebrows. "You really think you could help me pass chemistry with Kaminsky?"

"Depends." "On what?" I grin. "If you pay for your lessons."

Faking a heartbroken reaction, he giggles. "And that after I saved you from being demobat food. I'm a hero, y'know?"

Shrugging, I pin another flyer on the board. "Well, Munson, what can I say? We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl."

Eddie pulls a face as though he is about to vomit. "Gross, don't Madonna me."

"I Madonna as much as I like to," I laugh, punching his chest gently. "So, chemistry, anything else you'd need help with?"

That is when the bell announces lunch. I watch the metalhead tense up before me but still trying to play it cool.

"Uhm, we can talk about it while having lunch," I offer, but he shakes his head. "Nah, I- They throw stuff at me when I enter the cafeteria, so I'll just relax outside a little," he tells me, still smiling, but his eyes can't hide anything.

He's afraid.

"Yeah, sure," I smile back. "After school?"

The hallway starts to fill with students, and Eddie becomes visibly uneasy. He already begins removing himself from the conversation, turning around only to lift his flyer. "After school," he calls over to me and vanishes in the crowd.

*****

After school, I wait outside for Eddie, having him see me and smile from afar, ditching Dusting and Mike while they're still talking to him and running up to me.

"Hey, Carver," he says teasingly, making me smile. "Hey, Edward."

He nods, knowing he deserves the comeback. "You shall be forgiven."

"Okay, business talk. What classes do you need help with?" I ask, looking around. My parents insist on my cousin driving me home for safety, and I really want to avoid Jason seeing me with Eddie.

"Well, chemistry is currently the biggest problem. Have you heard of Kaminsky's All-or-Nothing Test?" I nod. "That's the one you have to take if you screwed up every other test-" Realization washes over me. "Oh, Eddie."

He smiles at me apologetically, cheeks turning a little pink.

"Why didn't you say something earlier? I- We could've studied together."

He shrugs. "To be fair, I know we were in the Upside Down together and stuff, but I didn't think we'd know each other enough to ask."

True, we don't. I'd only ever seen Eddie from afar in school or at the mall. And before all hell broke loose with Chrissy's death and those bat-things nearly killing him, I'd actually been massively intimidated by him.

He is loud, handsome, and definitely a little crazy; that had been enough to keep me away.

But since the Upside Down... That place and all that comes with it – let's just say it helps you forget your social status and makes you become allies even with the handsomely crazy ones.

"I- I still would've helped you if you'd asked. You have to graduate this year, or else-" He interrupts me. "I know. I just didn't want to be a burden. Like, 'Oh, you killed a bat for me, now I have to study with you.'"

"You're not a burden, Munson," I tell him, looking into his warm, brown eyes.

"Heard different things before, and you only say that because you haven't tried studying with me yet," he grins. "So, how much per lesson?"

"How bout a deal?" I ask him back before all bravery can leave me. Eddie's lips split into a gorgeous but mischievous smile. "Oh, I'm good at dealing."

"I swear if you pull out your lunch-" Before I can end my sentence, he's already pulled out the black metal box containing his drugs.

"Eddie, you're not paying me with drugs," I tell him sternly, forcing him to put the lunchbox back into his backpack.

"It's good stuff," he tries to assure me, but I shake my head, hardly able to bite back a grin. "And I still don't want it."

After a final try at handing me the metal box, he shrugs, putting it away.

"You play guitar, right?" I ask him as if I haven't been part of the most metal concert the Upside Down has ever experienced. "How bought instead of paying me, you teach me? I wanted to take classes with that money anyway."

He blinks at me a couple of times before letting out a loud, excited laugh. "Y-Yeah. Totally. I- I taught it myself, so if I can learn it, you can learn it."

"Cool," I answer. He scratches the back of his head, echoing me, "Cool."

We stare at each other for a moment, somehow not knowing what to say. God, this is awkward, isn't it? Am I making it awkward?

Quickly clearing my throat, I announce, "I'm babysitting Mike and Holly tonight, and the Wheelers always allow me to bring company. So, bring your books, and we'll see how bad the situation actually is."

Eddie smiles, as he almost always does. It is actually quite distracting. "Okay. Uhm, then I meet you there at...?"

"Six," I blurt out, then giggle a little anxious. "Six. Great," he chuckles in reply.

Before either of us can say another word, our attention is drawn to a small group of jocks, Jason being their leader, on their way to us and their cars.

"I'm gonna drive the kids home," Eddie tells me, still smiling as if he could hide the real reason he wants to leave. I grant him the illusion of having fooled me, smiling, "Okay. See you tonight."

I watch him hurry away, get Mike, Lucas, and Dustin – including their bikes – into his van, and drive off. Jason rushes now closer, having seen us from afar. He lays his arm around my shoulder, pulling me uncomfortably close.

Maybe I'd felt safe being protected by him when I was five, but now I only see the always returning, dangerous paranoia in him. The way he brutally beat Lucas, saying he protected Max but left them both behind as the Upside Down ripped through the old Creel house... He isn't the same person he was before Chrissy died anymore.

"Hey, was the freak bothering you?" I struggle out of Jason's hold, walking to his car. "No, he wasn't, and don't call him that."

He opens the car, throwing his backpack into the backseat. "Come one, [y/n]. You know this guy's a satanic cult leader and murderer. Think of what he did to Chrissy."

It always spins back to this. It always becomes religious. Religion, whichever you pick, can be beautiful, but unstable people will always find a way to turn it into a weapon for their insane reasoning.

"He didn't do a thing to Chrissy, and you know it," I tell Jason, hating that I can't just explain everything to him. I honestly don't even think he would believe me. He's too far gone.

"I know what I saw," he insists as we sit in the car, harshly gripping my wrist. "Around him, things happen. Strange things, evil things."

His fixation on Eddie never eased, even after he was proven innocent. Jason believes in everything being the fault of the sweet metalhead, simply because he was in the wrong place, with the wrong person, at the wrong time.

"You need some serious therapy before this whole town joins your bullshit again, and we have a second Salem witch trial on our hands," I snarl at my cousin, ripping my wrist from his grasp.

The more delusional he becomes, the more violent even his slightest actions become.

"I'm just watching out for you," Jason tries to explain, driving out of the school's parking lot. "Do me a favor and don't," I ask of him, looking out of the window.

My conversation-ending tone, however, isn't enough for him. As if he could frighten me with his tough-guy act, he threatens, "Stay away from Munson, or I'm telling your parents."

I nod. "Well, in that case, I'm telling Aunt Iris and Uncle Frank of how you faked a house break-in to hide the aftermath of your School's Out Party '84."

The discussion finally dies. Jason turns on the radio, listening to the religious station he's recently so obsessed with, and I continue staring out the window, watching cars pass us by.

*****

After getting Holly to say goodbye to her parents, I tuck her in and walk into Nancy's bedroom. I sit beside Robin on the bed while Nancy does her makeup at her vanity.

"Hey, Nance? You think you could borrow me your notes for Kaminsky's class?" I ask as she is done putting on mascara.

"Yeah, here," she smiles, handing me her pink folder. "So you're really tutoring tonight instead of going out with us?"

I roll my eyes, laughing. "And I am babysitting, so you can go out."

"And we're very thankful for that," Robin snickers, styling the mane of the little plush zebra on Nancy's bed. "So, who's the poor soul fucking up chemistry?"

"Eddie," I answer, looking at the folder to avoid meeting their eyes.

"Oh, so it's that kind of a study date," Nancy says, and I meet her grin through the mirror.

"What? No. He needs help with Kaminsky's All-or-Nothing Test, and in exchange, he'll teach me how to play guitar," I begin explaining myself, but Robin nudges my arm, rolling on her back.

"Funny, 'cause when Steve needed tutoring, you were very clear about not being into trades, even when he offered you free ice cream."

"She's right," Nancy giggles, agreeing with Robin.

"No, she's not. I worked at Scoops myself, so I didn't need free ice cream. Eddie plays guitar exceptionally well, and I wanted to pay for classes with the money I would've earned. Two birds with one stone."

"And it has nothing to do with you having the hots for Munson?" Robin asks me deadpanned, and I fall silent. I feel my face heat up and shake my head.

Rolling back onto her stomach, Robin smacks my arm. "Oh, come on. [y/n], we grew up together. Journey, Led Zepplin, Dio, Black Sabbath... The phase when we were thirteen, and you were dead set on marrying Eddie Van Halen? How you drooled every time Munson passed Scoops when we were working?"

Nancy laughs loudly, and I shrug, regretting always telling Robin everything, although I know she can't keep secrets for longer than thirty minutes.

"So... I may have a type. That doesn't mean I have the hots for Eddie," I blatantly lie, Robin raising her eyebrows and grinning at me. "Which Eddie? Ours or Van Halen?"

"Fuck you," I cuss, making her only hug me and laugh at the fact that I never really curse.

Knocking on the door, Steve comes in, scanning Nancy up and down. "Hey, are you ready to leave? Mike is talking to El on the phone, and I'm getting really bored alone downstairs."

She nods, and so we all make our way downstairs. I send Mike to his room, telling him to call Eleven from the phone upstairs and walk to the front door with my friends.

Steve opens the door, almost bumping into Eddie, who was about to knock. "Munson," Steve says, surprised. "Harrington," Eddie replies, also greeting the other two. "Robin, Nancy."

His eyes fall on me, and I smile, "Hey. You got your books?" He nods, lifting his black backpack. I step aside, letting him in, "The living room's to the left. I'll be there in a second."

As Eddie can't hear us anymore, Robin grins, wiggling her eyebrows.

I ignore her. "Bye, guys. Have fun." "You too. Do nothing I wouldn't do," she cackles. I raise a brow as she hugs me. "Do I need to remind you that you're gay?"

Sticking her tongue out at me, she drags Steve to the car, Nancy already warming it up.

"Isn't Eddie coming with us?" he asks, confused, Robin wiggling her eyebrows again. "He and [y/n] are having a study date."

Steve's mom-mode kicks in the second he hears that. "Should we stay and help them study?" "Go to the movies," I insist. "Please, I can't work with you eyeing us down."

"You're staying in the living room and do nothing any of us would do. Except for Nancy. You can do what Nancy does," Steve tells me sternly.

I raise my eyebrows. "So, I'm allowed to have a shotgun and shoot Vecna?"

"No?" he asked me as though I'm completely nuts. "You can study. Nothing else."

"Yeah, no dirty couch sex," Robing calls over, making Nancy look mortified. "Robin," she exclaims, then looks at me with a pleading gaze, "Please don't have sex on my couch."

"I hate all three of you," I tell them, closing the front door just in time to hear Robin call after me, "Nah, you love us."

Shaking my head, I return to the living room, where Eddie is busy walking and looking around.

As he notices me, he grins. "I like this place." I smile back. "Yeah, the Wheelers have good taste."

Stretching his arms out, he spins slowly in the living room. "It's so big. I mean, look at this. All of this is the living room, and nobody sleeps here."

"Your uncle sleeps on the couch?" I ask without thinking, quickly regretting my question.

Eddie's cheeks become red, and he stops what he's doing. "Folding bed, but it's a good one..." he tries assuring me, voice falling flat with embarrassment.

I smile at him, sitting down on the carpet and unpacking my study materials on the coffee table. Grabbing his hand, I make Eddie sit beside me and hand him Nancy's pink folder.

"Y-You have a pretty handwriting," he compliments me while flipping through it. "Oh, those are Nancy's notes. She's so anal about them," I tell him, handing him some of my notes for comparison. "That's mine. Not that clean."

After staring at them for a few seconds, he looks at me. "Huh. Like yours better."

"Charmer," I say, my face becoming hot again. To distract, I hand Eddie my chemistry book. "Here."

"What are we doing?" Eddie asks as I hand him a bunch of sticky notes.

"We're transferring my notes into your book. I like to use those to write down simplifications, extra notes, and explanations, and then I stick them on my pages. I also color-coordinate the highlighter I use with the color of my sticky notes. I believe it's more comfortable to learn if it's easier on the eyes..."

Feeling Eddie stare at me, I stop talking, look back at him, and ask, "What?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "Nothing, just... thanks."

*****

"Wrong again. Maybe we should focus on-" After hours, I finally feel my patience running thin. "Eddie?"

"Huh?" He asks as though he hasn't been staring at me for the last five minutes.

Fuck, am I so boring that he starts zoning out?

"I was talking to you. I- Can you please try to concentrate?" I ask him, smiling, trying not to sound offended.

He nods, stretching a little before leaning over our books again. "Totally. Yeah. Sure. Sorry."

As he answers the question wrong again, a deep frown appears on his face. I sigh, putting my pen down. "Okay. How bout a break? I'll need to get Mike to go to bed anyway."

He nods, almost relieved, and I make my way upstairs. After some debating and a non-verbal threat, I take the phone out of Mike's room, and it's lights out as his parents requested. I know he'll still stay up some hours reading his comics, but I'm willing to let that slip.

When I come back into the living room, Eddie's gone. Instead, he sits outside on the porch, smoking.

"Hey, is that marihuana?" Of course, it is. He smiles at me charmingly. "It's just a little pot to help me concentrate," he says as if I wasn't about to jump his throat.

A wave of anger rushes over me. "Are you even taking the whole thing seriously? I mean, I've been sitting in there for three and a half hours, trying to teach you something, and the first chance you get, you run outside to get high."

I walk back inside, starting to pack my stuff. I apparently thought too highly of Eddie due to my years of crushing on him. I should've known he wasn't taking it seriously, but I just made a fool out of myself.

I hear fast footsteps behind me. "Hey, hey, [y/n]. Look, I'm sorry. I really just smoked some to concentrate." I turn around, and Eddie steps closer, pleading, "[y/n], please. I have no reason to lie to you. I promise I want to learn."

"Didn't seem like it," I murmur, and he nods.

"I- I know. It's- I struggle to focus, always have. If something isn't interesting enough, my brain just shuts off and then does silly little things it finds more interesting – like counting the little daisies on your top."

We both look down on my shirt and then at each other.

"Please, let's try it again. I swear, no more drugs, and you get me on my best behavior," he asks of me, giving me this distracting big smile again while he cups my cheeks.

"Okay," I nod, without even thinking twice. "Okay?" I nod again. "Okay, Munson. Sit down."

We sit back down, and for the next minutes, I could swear he tries really hard. But as we start working on a practicing sheet with many questions on it, his concentration seems to crumble again.

"I- I'm sorry. I think I mixed the questions up," Eddie mumbles, angry at himself.

"You always keep looking down on the next question while solving the one above," I observe, and he nods. I hand him an empty piece of paper. "Here, try that."

He holds it up, confused. "A piece of paper?" I take it, laying it over his worksheet. "As a divider. We cover the next questions, so you can't look at them."

From here on out, it actually seems to work. Yet, I yawn, exhausted from the hours of work before.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I?" Eddie asks, grinning at me. "No. I'm just tired," I answer. "You're actually doing well."

His grin becomes wider. "I so do not believe you." He gives me a gentle shove, making me giggle, "I'm serious. Especially now that we stopped you from mixing up the questions."

"Do you think I'll pass the test?" This time Eddie seems more serious; there is no smile on his face that would indicate that he has any hopes for it. "If you study enough... I mean, Kaminsky's tests are super hard, but like, I'll help you as much as you need me to."

"Nice way to say that I'm fucked, Sweetheart," he coos, hand moving up to my face again. His cold rings burn on my hot cheeks. "You have to study for your own finals. I can't have you hold my hand through my own mess."

"Eddie, I have my studies down and don't mind helping you," I tell him, although I'd rather whine as he removes his hand. I wish he would've left it there.

"Hey, you know what my mom made me do whenever I wanted to achieve something?" I ask him, taking one of Holly's green sheets of crafting paper and folding it in half. "Goal cards. Write down the reason you want to graduate."

"The reason? I'd say because I'm twenty and can't repeat class again?" He deadpans, making me shake my head.

"Not like that. I meant the hopes you have." Licking my lips, I admit, "Like, when I was thirteen, I made one, saying I wanted to learn how to play guitar. Inside I wrote that I was doing it to become a famous musician and marry Eddie Van Halen. Even glued a picture of him in it."

Eddie is quiet for a moment, then bursts into laughter. I shove him. "Stop laughing. I'm trying to help you here."

He nods, whipping away some tears, "Uh-huh." "Fuck you," I tell him in fake appall.

Eddie collects himself, shoving me back and mocking me, "Oh, such big words from such a proper little lady."

As calmness returns to the room, he grabs his pen and the card, opening it. He stares at it for a while, pen ever so often pushing onto the paper, but no words come out.

"Do I have to write it down?" he asks me, a little defeated, this time without a smile. "If you want, you can tell me, and I'll write it down for you," I offer, and he hands it over to me.

Eddie is silent for a while, caught in deep thoughts. Suddenly he says, "I- I want to graduate, so I'm not ending up like my dad."

I look up at him, not yet writing. He continues to explain himself, "He dropped out, married his high school sweetheart, and just barely got by with petty crimes or – you know – selling drugs and stealing cars. Then mom died, and he just spiraled, became violent..."

As his voice loses its strength, I ask, "Where's he now?"

Eddie shrugs. "Does it matter? Prison? Maybe dead?" he says. "Uncle Wayne took me in after CPS contacted him about my dad breaking my arm when he was high... He told his younger brother to fuck off, and we haven't heard from him since."

We're quiet. I don't know what to say. I can't even remember his parents. I only know the version of Eddie that he is now.

"I changed my mind," he then says, tapping on his goal card. "Write that I wanna be a better nephew to Wayne... Don't wanna be a burden anymore, a fuck-up."

I shake my head. "Eddie, you're not a burden. Your uncle loves you."

He nods. "And I only disappoint him. I can't even fucking finish high school. I sit in my room all day, preparing for my D&D campaigns or playing guitar. I sell drugs to assholes that love beating the crap out of me for being a freak, and now I am also a satanic cult leader with demonic powers that murdered Chrissy and two other guys I didn't even know... Yeah, [y/n]. I totally don't sound like a burden."

I'm shocked at how low Eddie seems to actually think of himself. Behind this always smiling and joking façade, there seem to hide years of self-hatred and a, probably trained by his father and the school system, thought of being a worthless burden.

"You took in freshmen, nerdy little kids that don't fit in. You let them be part of your club so they wouldn't have to be alone or get bullied," I argue, having him shrug. "Somebody had to. People can be real assholes."

"You saved Hawkins." "Not like I can tell anyone about it."

I smile a little, "Well, you also saved me from those bats, almost getting killed while trying." "Matter, of course. Everyone would've done that."

I shake my head, "No, they wouldn't, and you know it. Jason didn't care for Lucas or Max, even though he claimed to have beaten Lucas to protect her. He just pissed himself, ran away, and saved his own ass."

Eddie gives me a half-hearted smile and lays his hand on mine, patting it several times. I close the cart and hand it to him. "How about you keep your goal card and write something inside it once it feels right, okay?"

He nods, putting it between the pages of his book where I think it will get forgotten. Then he opens the book on one of the other chapters, pointing at something.

"Can we go over that E cell stuff again?" He asks, clearly wanting to change the subject. I nod. He's been open enough for one evening. "Sure."

After learning for another hour, I fall asleep, face on the coffee table. When I wake up, Eddie is gone, only his leather jacket draped over me like a blanket. In my book, I find a small note asking me to study with him at his place on Friday.

*****

"You call me, and I'll pick you up; my number's on the back," Jason lectures me as he holds his car in front of the Munson trailer, handing me one of the phones from his duffle bag. "I'm meeting with friends, but should you need anything-"

"Don't sell your soul to the devil, and please call me. Yeah, I know," I interrupt him, eying the mobile phone in my hand. "Those things are starting to become really small, or am I crazy?"

He sighs, hating that I am going to spend the day in the trailer his girlfriend died in, with the guy who was the last to have seen her alive.

"Seriously, [y/n]. The minute he tries something, or you realize you're in a circle of blood with strange symbols drawn around it-" "Yeah, because that happens so casually often," I interrupt my cousin again.

"This is about your safety," he tells me as though I am unreasonable. "No, this is about you being paranoid and needing therapy," I answer, grabbing my bag and getting out of the car. "Thanks for driving me. See ya later."

I walk over to the trailer, knocking a couple of times. After a few seconds, Wayne Munson, Eddie's uncle, opens the door.

"Yeah?" he asks, holding a baseball bat behind his back. A safety precaution, I understand but disklike that he has to have.

"Hi, Mr. Munson. I'm here to see Eddie." He eyes me up and down, and I add, "I'm his friend. I help him study."

He looks over my shoulder, nodding to Jason's car with his chin. "And your friend in the car? That's Jason Carver, that little bastard," he says, highly suspicious of me.

"He's my cousin. My parents want him to drive me around since the earthquake," I explain, and his face becomes softer. "I'm sorry, Kid. I-"

I interrupt him with a smile. I understand why he has to be protective of Eddie after all that happened. "No, don't worry. I'm not crazy about that mental case either," I say. "Uhm, can I come in? I'm afraid he might get out of the car if we stay out here for too long."

Wayne lets me in, closing and locking the door behind me. From Eddie's room comes the sound of an acoustic guitar playing 'Sweet Leaf', one of my favorite songs.

"Eddie, your friend is here," he calls down the small hallway. I join him, calling, "Hi, Eddie."

We hear some rummaging and cussing, then Eddie practically rushes out of his room, only wearing his boxers.

"Hey, [y/n]," he greets me as I instantly look the other way, feeling my face burn like fire.

"Son, put some damn close on. You're in the presents of a lady, for God's sake," his uncle scolds him, and after a millisecond, Eddie cusses like a sailor.

"Shit, fuck. Sorry, I just woke up. I- It'll only be a second," he tells me, and from the bumping sound, I figure he almost ran into his bedroom door.

"Uh-huh. Take your time," I tell him, finally looking in his direction again as the door closes.

"Now, [y/n], can I offer you something to drink?" Wayne asks me, and I shake my head. "No, thanks. I'm good," I tell him, looking around the living area I know pretty well in both this dimension and whatever the Upside Down is.

It is scary to think that the portal simply closed, not leaving an ounce of trace that it ever even existed.

My eyes fall to the folding bed, open in the middle of the room. Eddie's uncle rushes over, taking the blanket and pillow and putting them inside the couch's storage department.

"Sorry, he didn't tell me he'd expected someone," he explains, embarrassed, folding away his bed. I smile at him, shaking my head. "Don't worry. Really."

The awkward silence is broken by Eddie coming out dressed in black, ripped jeans and a washed-out band shirt.

"Hey, hi," he greets me again. "Hi," I answer.

"I- I made the study cards you told me to," he explains proudly, and I grin. "Do they work?" "I think so. C'mon."

With his hand on my back, he escorts me to his room, signaling me to sit down on his bed. I, instead, only put my bag there and look around his room. In bright daylight and without the risk of dying or Robin screaming that we need music to save Nancy, it's actually nice in here.

It helps that it's also cleaner than last time and smells like air freshener and fresh linen.

"Edward, the door stays open," Wayne calls into the room, just as I pass a pile of clothes next to his closet, to look at the small, hand-painted figures that I think belong to his dungeons and dragons game.

I turn around, looking at Eddie. "So, the door stays open," I tease him jokingly, and he nods, becoming red while scratching the back of his curly head.

"Yeah. When something happens again, Wayne can give me an alibi saying he saw you the whole time during your visit and that you were okay."

My smile instantly vanishes, and I begin to apologize, "Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't think of that. I thought it was because-" "Because I'm having a pretty girl in my room?" he asks, tilting his head and stepping closer.

My breath hitches as he backs me up closer to the wall; I bump into the dresser behind me. "Naughty girl," he whispers with a mischievous grin as he cages me between his arms and his dresser.

I shake my head, becoming dizzy, "I- I- I didn't-" He chuckles, "I'm just teasing you, Carver. Calm down."

I am almost disappointed as he steps away, truly having only teased me. I turn my back to him before he can see the look on my face, but my gaze meets a mirror, showing me my pout.

Silly. It's silly that I'm sad he wasn't actually flirting with me. I focus on the guitar hanging in front of the mirror. Sweetheart, that's what Eddie calls the guitar. I begin chewing on my bottom lip, telling myself that I don't need this metalhead to like me back.

It would be too difficult anyway. Especially in fucked up times like these, where we don't know when Vecna returns.

Doesn't make me want Eddie any less, though...

"You like her?" Eddie asks behind me. I nod, suddenly feeling his hand on my shoulder, moving me back to the bed. "Well, not gonna let you touch her just yet. You need to learn acoustic first."

As I sit down on his bed, Eddie takes the black acoustic guitar full of band stickers that was leaning next to it and kneels down in front of me, showing it to me.

"This is Honey. She was my first guitar, first love, if you will," he chuckles. "She's pretty," I whisper. Eddie nods, "Glad you think so, 'cause she's yours now."

"What?" I exclaim, making him laugh. "Don't look so shocked," he says. "You need a guitar to practice on."

"But she's yours." He nods again, laying the guitar on my lap. "And she's been painfully neglected for years now, especially since I bought Sweetheart. Now take her and be good to her."

"Thank you," I whisper, following the outline of an old Metallica sticker.

As I look up, mine and Eddie's eyes meet. He'd been watching me closely. We grin at each other a little stupidly, and I feel my heart race like it's trying to win a marathon.

"I made you something," he says suddenly, jumping up and grabbing a bunch of small cards from one of his drawers. "Those are the different chords and where you have to put your fingers."

On the cards are drawn guitars necks, dots on the exact spots where my fingers need to be. "These are awesome, Eddie. And you really made those cards for me?"

He nods, cheeks turning pink, "We have a deal, after all. And if I teach you how to play guitar, I damn well will make sure you're becoming a real star at it."

I put the guitar aside and take his jacket out of my backpack, awkwardly and completely flustered, handing it to him. "You forgot your jacket at the Wheelers' home a couple of days ago."

"I didn't want you to freeze," he says, throwing it aside. "Why did you leave?"

"Because I know the reaction people have when they see me. I didn't want Mike's parents to think I was there to sacrifice their kids or have them be mad at you for letting me in."

I bite my lips again. "I wish you would've stayed. We could've gone home together." "I could've driven you home..." he smiles for a second before it vanishes again. "But people know my van, can't have you be seen with me."

Before I can stop myself, I say, "I don't mind being seen with you, Eddie."

He stares at me, touched, chocolate brown eyes becoming glassy, "T-That's a C. You think you can play it?" he quickly asks, swallowing hard and handing me one of the cards as a distraction.

I take the guitar but struggle with my finger placement. Eddie notices it and crawls behind me on the neatly made bed.

Hands on my waist, he makes me sit between his legs and helps me hold the guitar correctly. "Is that okay?" he asks, looking at me over my shoulder.

I nod, and he takes my fingers, placing them on the strings. As they are placed, he hands me a pick and helps me play that note. It sounds correct, and I smile at him. Eddie smiles back at me as though I just performed a concert for him.

"There you go, rockstar," he chuckles, placing my fingers differently again.

For a while, we play the chords, and I become more and more comfortable with his arms around me. It feels nice. Safe and calm.

We're both ripped from the moment as Wayne knocks on the open bedroom door. "Hey, you two. I'm going to work. Can I leave you both alone?"

Eddie nods, barely acknowledging his uncle. "Uh-huh."

"Eddie, are you sure-"

This time he looks up, interrupting his uncle, "Yes, Wayne. We're just playing guitar and studying a little. I promise nothing shady will happen." Eddie looks at me, "Right?"

I nod, assuring his uncle, "Oh, yeah. Absolutely not. I'm also getting picked up later."

The man nods, hand running over his head. "Okay. I- I'm just worried."

"I know," Eddie tells him, this time seeming to accept and understand his uncle's worries. They share a serious look that shows concern and affection.

Then Eddie smiles again, pointing at the polaroid camera on his dresser, "Hey, can you take a picture of us?" He asks, having his uncle nod. "Sure, son."

"That's okay for you, is it?" Eddie whispers into my ear, making goosebumps appear on my skin. I grin, nodding lovesick.

After taking a picture of us, me seated between Eddie's legs, the guitar in our hands, Wayne hands the picture to his nephew, wishing us goodbye, "It was nice to meet you, [y/n]. See you in the morning, kid."

"Oh, I'm gonna keep that one," Eddie whispers delightedly, looking at the picture.

I put the guitar aside, trying to look at the polaroid. "Why?"

"No reason," he tells me, standing up. I follow him, "Why, Eddie?"

"Because you look cute in it," he says, but this isn't enough for me.

I try to grab the picture, but he holds it up. Therefore, I stand as close to him as possible, standing on the tip of my toes to reach it.

Eddie wraps an arm around my waist, starting to spin us around. "Care for a dance, milady?

"You're so weird," I giggle, unable to reach the picture, but holding on to his wrist.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm completely insane," he tells me, stopping our spinning. "Now sit down and tutor me."

He softly pushes me back on the bed, and I make myself comfortable, looking at my own study cards while Eddie sits down next to me, going through his own. I have no idea where the polaroid picture went, but I sure hope I don't look ridiculous in it.

After two hours of learning together, Eddie lies back, staring at the ceiling. "I need a break."

I put the guitar aside and join him. "Same. My fingers are killing me."

"Yeah... Takes some time till you build up calluses," he chuckles, taking my hand into his, gently kissing my sore fingertips and stealing my breath. "Pretty soon, your pretty lil fingers will look like mine."

I don't know how he does it, but Eddie makes my heart beat so fast I feel like becoming dizzy; he always had me wrapped around his finger in that way, even as I only knew him from afar.

He's everything that my parents taught me to avoid, but I want to admire him forever.

"So you think I'll pass the test?" He asks me with a crooked smile, luring me back into reality. "Hm... I'd say I'm 99.9% sure," I smile, making him nod bothered as he lets go of my hand.

"Yeah, still room for me to fail." I prob myself up on my elbows, assuring him, "Well, I believe you'll make it."

A grin creeps over his features, making me certain that mischief is brewing together a plan under his curly mop of hair. "Would you be mad at me if I'd smoke one as a reward?"

I shake my head, and he sits up, grabbing a pre-rolled joint from his cluttered nightstand. "Do you want to...?" He offers, lighting it and taking a hit.

I shrug, uncertain since I've never done something like it before. "Uh... I- I don't know."

He looks at me with a serious face. "Hey, I'm not somebody that's pressuring others into things. I just thought... Would you want to try it? Now would be your chance, and it's safest to get high for the first time when there's somebody with you who has experience and watches over you."

I sit up as well, nodding. It isn't like I never wanted to try it.

"You sure?" He asks sternly, trying to avoid a reaction of mine that is solely based on the need to impress him.

I nod again. "Yes. Please."

Eddie leans over, holding the joint's butt to me. I lean forward, lips on the joint, taking my first pull; his eyes are on me, face as close as possible to inspect me.

"There you go. Small hits, baby," he coos his instructions. "Hold it, and now let go," I do as he says, coughing a little due to the smoke in my lungs. "Burns a little, I know."

It is hard not to stare as we lock eyes, his chocolate brown ones metaphorically bringing me to my knees. He has me smoke half of the joint, and as stupid as I feel for thinking like that, it feels intimate.

The way his big hands bring the joint back and forth between us, the gentle way he coos and praises me, and his eyes, his eyes are on me, so fascinated and intrigued as though I am one of the dirty magazines he unsuccessfully tried to hide under the bed.

I love that gaze of his and want to find a way to make it stay, although I probably just over-romanticize it because of the pot and my crush on Eddie.

As he puts the joint's end into the ashtray on his nightstands, I let myself fall back onto his mattress. "This feels nice," I say, feeling wholly carefree and peaceful for the first time since Vecna.

Eddie lies down beside me, explaining, "Yeah, it's the good stuff. Knocks us out for a while, perfect for relaxing."

We lay on our sides, facing each other. As he reaches out and brushes his knuckles over my cheek, I notice some ink on the back of his hand. I take it and read, 'Clean bedroom. [y/n].' on it.

I like my name on his skin; a weird thing to feel, but it fills me with a bit of pride.

"You forgot that," I tease him, pointing at the to-do list on the back of his hands. He chuckles, "Baby, I wasn't in school so that I could clean up."

I sit up, looking around. Then I giggle. "Okay..." "Hey," Eddie warns me in fake appall. "I even changed the sheets today."

I'd noticed the sweet, floral smell of the linen under me earlier, so I nod. "I appreciate the effort," I tell him, laying back down and kicking off my shoes.

"Where will life take you after graduation, Carver?" He asked as I make myself comfortable on his mismatched set of pillows.

"Where will it take you?" I ask back, but he quickly dismisses my question. "We both know I'll stay trailer trash, now answer me."

I sigh, saying my secret plan out loud for the first time, "I'll take the trust fund I'll gain access to once I have my diploma and run."

He furrows his brows. "So you'll leave us?"

"I meant that metaphorically," I say, making him look confused. "My family had different funds set up for me when I was born. One for high school graduation, one for college, one for marrying, and one for when I have children – a son, to be specific..." I explain.

"That sounds like a very thought-through version of manipulation," Eddie concludes, angered, seeming disgusted by my family's forced conforming.

"It is. I grew up thinking that I have to achieve all these set goals, but now..." Another sigh escapes me. "We don't know when Vecna will return, and every fight becomes more dangerous. I don't want to go to college and become a rich, famous, whatever. I don't want to play happy housewife for an upper-class jock my parents pick for me.

"If I die, I want to be able to look back and know I chose my happiness instead of social obligation."

My whole life, I'd been the perfect, preppy, old-money daughter my family had wanted. I exceeded in school, never went to parties, and stayed away from 'bad apples'. But I'd almost died, and as the weeks had passed, I came to realize that I would've left a life of unfulfilled dreams behind. One I'd only lived to make my parents proud.

"You thought about that a lot, huh?" I nod. "Ever since the bats attacked us."

My hand wanders over Eddie's stomach, resting on a spot I know is now holding a serious scar. He'd gotten it while protecting me from the bats as I'd tried to lure them from the trailer.

"Does it still hurt?" "Only sometimes. At least I have some very metal scars now," he jokes, hand coming up to my thigh.

Under my clothes, I hide some scars as well. It's not like I am ashamed of them. Why should I be? But they need to heal and fade enough to stop looking like bites first – as my family believes they come from an accident caused by the earthquake.

"What about yours?" Eddie asks, and I nod. "Same here. Do you sometimes dream of the Upside Down?"

"Aren't we all?" he chuckles, pushing down the trauma we all experienced. "It took me a while to even realize that all that actually happened, and when the wounds stopped hurting..."

"It'll get easier," I assure him as his arm moves up to my waist—another spot where a scar rests. I'm surprised he still remembers all of the spots.

"Right, wasn't your first rodeo," he remembers. "So, what are you doing with the money? Your trust fund, I mean."

I grin, biting my bottom lip, "You know the retail park between Hawkins and Derry?" "Who doesn't?" he laughs. "I wanna rent a space there and have my own music store. Sell instruments, cassette tapes, records... All of it."

Eddie's eyes become wide, sparkly. I seem to have piqued his interest. "Sounds amazing." "You think?" I ask, and he nods. "Totally. We'll always have music, so you'll always have a job there."

Either his reaction, his touch, or the pot – maybe all three of the things combined – have me smile. I prop myself on my elbow, hand dancing over the letters of his old Black Sabbath shirt.

"If you're not too set on becoming trailer trash..." I start, feeling his heartbeat under my fingers. "I could always use a good business partner who loves music."

"Be careful with those words, Sweetheart," Eddie warns me, propping himself up as well. "'Cause if you mean them, you'll never, never, ever get rid of me."

As he begins towering over me, I whisper, "Sounds good to me."

And just like that, his lips collide with mine. I feel like bursting into flames, like I am losing my mind, and as though I only imagine this moment. I let myself fall back into the pillows, taking Eddie with me as he crawls on top of me.

The kiss is heated and longing. Eddie's hand cradles my face, wanders upwards, and his fingers tangle themselves into my hair. I gasp into the kiss as he tugs on my hair, my hips jolting up due to the literal electricity he created within me.

Suddenly the kiss stops. Eddie sits back up on his heels and looks as though he just violated me. "I- I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. That wasn't okay. You're high, you're-"

I sit up as well, embarrassment almost making me dizzy as I admit, "That had nothing to do with me being high. Did- Did you just do it because...?"

He shakes his head so harshly that I fear he'd give himself whiplash. "Was looking for a chance to do that for a while now."

I can't believe his words, asking, "Really?"

Eddie nods, looking me up and down as he licks his lips, "Jesus, you're so fucking pretty. Makes me dizzy."

We giggle and smile at each other childishly. I'd never thought he'd be interested in someone like me. I'm not an innocent, happy-go-lucky, preppy cheerleader like Chrissy was. I'm not a cool, not caring what people think of me – metalhead like him.

I am basic, normal. I go to school and do my homework, I listen to all types of music, mostly not even caring for genres since I mix through them all the time anyway, and I dress uncoordinated, solely based on what makes me happy that morning.

I've always thought I was invisible, one of the nice girls you see for five minutes in a movie and have totally forgotten about by the time the credits come on. This had given me some advantages as we saved Hawkins but socially made me feel out of place...

Eddie leans closer again, making me back onto the pillows, his knee between my legs. "That okay?" he asks softly, and I nod.

He towers over me, making my heart beat irrationally. He's so beautiful, and the fact that he wants me has me forget everything, even my name. I push myself up, cupping his cheeks; our eyes lock as he looks just as surprised and overwhelmed about all this as I am.

This time, I kiss him. His lips are soft and gentle as he kisses me back, hands carefully roaming my body as though I'm made of glass. I kissed a few guys before, but none of them had ever made me feel like this.

It feels so right. Like I was made to be in Eddie's arms, being accepted although coming with nothing else to offer than myself.

As our kiss becomes messy, something I've never experienced before, our hands become greedy and inquisitive. As my nails dig into his upper arms, Eddie's hand cups my clothed breast, groping it harshly.

As I moan into the kiss, he chuckles, kissing down my neck and plastering its skin with hickeys and soft love bites.

I moan again, hips jolting up and causing me to whimper as I accidentally rub my most sensitive area against his thigh. "Fuck," I softly cry, repeating the motion once more.

Pecking my lips softly, Eddie places himself now entirely between my legs. I can feel his erection through our clothes, right where I want him most.

"Nice, huh?" he asks teasingly, rolling his hips against me and enjoying how my eyes roll back.

Our lips find each other again, and while we sloppily begin making out again, our bodies move in unison, friction having us moan and gasp into our kisses.

As his hand sneaks under my shirt, cool rings kissing the warmth of my body, I stop Eddie. Propping myself up a little, I stammer, embarrassed, "Can we just- I don't- I never..."

I've never done anything like this before. Before today, I never kissed somebody with this much passion, never let one touch me like this. I've never felt this need, lighting my body on fire, before... And it scares me. I am not sure if I want to go any further than this.

Eddie smiles and softly chuckles. He leans down, kissing my cheek. "No worries. Rule one of being high is not to make big decisions when high. Have two tattoos proofing that point."

Somehow, I expected him to be mad at me.

"So you're okay with just kissing?" I ask, concerned, but he drops onto his elbows, forehead against mine. "I could do that for a lifetime."

Turning on some music, which plays softly in the background, we fall into another kiss, and another, and another. At one point, Eddie even has me sitting in his lap, hands groping my ass as he bucks his hips against me.

Only as our lips are sore, we cuddle on his bed, lips still coming together for little kisses from time to time.

I fall asleep in his arms, feeling safe and happy; I dream of this moment lasting forever.

*****

The next time I open my eyes, it is dark around me. I hate being in the dark, I become nervous and scared. Time has shown me over and over again why I should stay away from the darkness, but Eddie's chest, slowly rising underneath me and his arm around me, have me calm.

Closing my eyes again, I try to go back to sleep.

"She was supposed to be home hours ago, old man!" An angry voice yells outside the trailer.

"Listen, I am sure there is an explanation-" an older voice tries to communicate calmly but is interrupted.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses. You and that satanic scumbag-"

The older raises his voice warningly, "Hey, be careful what you're saying."

Eddie moves underneath me, laying on his side and pulling me into a hug. Suddenly he jumps up, turning on the lights. "Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit."

"What is it?" I ask sleep-drunkenly. "We fell asleep, Sweetheart. It's 5 a.m.," he explains loud but softly.

I jump out of bed the second my brain processes his words. "No!" I exclaim, looking at the radio alarm on Eddie's nightstand. I pull on my shoes, Eddie throwing over his jacket.

"[y/n]! [y/n], are you in there?" The angry voice from before yells, and I have a realization. "Fuck, that's Jason," I tell Eddie, who nods, handing me my backpack.

We rush outside and see Jason and his friends in front of the trailer. Wayne stands there on the steps, a baseball bat in his hand. They're all looking at Eddie and me.

I look back and forth between Wayne and Jason. "I- I'm so sorry. We fell asleep, I-" "I called you a hundred times," Jason interrupts.

I push past Wayne, walking down the steps. Eddie's uncle keeps him in the trailer, not letting him out.

"I just told you I fell asleep," I answer my cousin as he walks closer, looking at my disheveled appearance, then at Eddie's.

"What have you done to her, Munson?" Jason growls, and I step between him and the stairs. "He did nothing. What's wrong with you?"

He's clearly drunk and out for confrontation with his favorite victim.

"Fuck, you smell like a distillery," I mutter, having to look away to catch a huff of fresh air.

"We're leaving. Wait till Aunt-" my cousin tries to threaten me, grabbing my arm and walking us to the car. I shake my head, interrupting him. "You're drunk. I'm not letting you drive me."

As I try to pull my arm from his grasp, he hardens his grip. "[y/n]," he warns, trying to drag me to the car. "No," I exclaim, trying to stop walking, but Jason becomes rougher. "Ow."

"Hey, don't grab her like that," Eddie calls over, forcing himself past his uncle.

"Or what, Freak? What satanic monster from hell do you want to summon here in front of everyone?" Jason asks, irritated, fumbling his keys out of his pocket, a little cross keychain on it.

By now, half of the trailer park residents have noticed what is happening. All looking, nobody intervening.

"Man, just- just let go of her arm," Eddie tries to reason with Jason. "Please, you're hurting her."

As he takes a couple of steps closer, my cousin raises his keychain. "Don't come near us."

"Eddie, it's okay," I tell the sweet metalhead, then look to his uncle, who has his baseball bat equipped. "It's okay."

"Are you sure, girl?" Wayne asks me, concerned, but I nod.

"Yeah. I..." I finally can escape Jason's grasp and look at him and his friends. "Is anyone of you guys sober?" None are, so I sigh, "Kay. Give me your keys and get into the car."

Jason obliges since me driving the car means he gets what he wants, and I leave with him. I have the drunken jocks get back into the car, noticing that one had held a wheel-wrench the entire time.

I buckle Jason in the passenger's seat, make sure his friends buckle in as well and grab the wrench. Shaking my head, I look over at Eddie and his uncle, waving at them and trying to force a smile on my lips as I got into the driver's seat.

Leaving the trailer park, the drunks in the back fall promptly asleep, while Jason seems to calm down, experiencing an adrenaline crash. He tells me the addresses of his friends, and I drive everyone home.

"I was worried," he explains, head heavily resting on the headrest of his seat.

"I know," I sigh, having just dropped off the last one of his friends.

"I miss Chrissy," he mumbles, and I watch him take out the little velvet box he carries around everywhere. "I thought we would be together forever."

Jason had planned on proposing to his high school sweetheart after graduation. Chrissy was dead for months now, but he still carried the ring around.

I look at the broken shell of a man beside me. Jason had lost his mind when he'd lost his girlfriend. Our family believes he just needs time, but he desperately needs therapy.

He wasn't always like this; he was a good guy; we grew up like siblings – Yeah, sure, he was a little douchey sometimes, but he was the guy nice to mostly everyone—a preppy, old-money boy.

His moral compass hadn't been broken before he came into contact with Vecna's darkness.

"Eddie didn't hurt Chrissy," I tell him, but he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "I know what I saw."

I can't tell him about the Upside Down, which makes me helpless. I have to sit between the chairs, see Eddie being hated, and watch my cousin lose his sanity, and there is nothing I can do about it.

"Look," I start, carefully thinking of how to phrase my sentences, "I know what you saw. I know how it looked like and how much it scared you, but Eddie was solely at the wrong time in the wrong place when... when Chrissy and Patrick were attacked."

Jason looks at me in disbelief, his eyes wandering down to my neck, where he notices the marks left by Eddie.

"So that's how it is," he says disgustedly, sitting back in his seat and refusing to look at me again. "You let the freak fuck you, and now you're excusing him and his actions. You're choosing him instead of your own family and friends and completely disregard his victims."

"That's not what I'm doing, Jason," I say. "If- If you really think there is something evil and satanic going on... Maybe the monster hunted Chrissy and Patrick, and when it attacked, Eddie just happened to be there."

He shakes his head. "Munson is a vessel. I don't know when he became one, but I know what got him there... This satanic game and the music he listens to."

"Jason, Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy game. It's like being the main character in The Hobbit. You know we loved that book when we were younger. It's harmless, and Eddie is basically a sweet nerd with rough edges. And his taste in music...

"It's just metal. You know it doesn't make you a murderer. You secretly bought me my first Black Sabbath cassette tape when Mom and Dad forbid me to have it."

He ignores me, angry tears in his eyes while he continues to fidget with the velvet box in his hand. I start the car and drive us to my place. I am too tired and frustrated to drive any more than that.

*****

"[y/n], do you have any idea how worried we were?" my father yells angrily, Mom agreeing. "You stay out all night, and your cousin has to pick you up from a trailer park."

I sigh, pressing my palms onto the cold kitchen table. "Come on. He was drunk as hell. I had to drive him and his friends home. You can barely say he picked me up."

Jason had used the hurt he felt from losing Chrissy and our talk in the car to unload all his paranoia of the night on my parents, then went to bed in our guest bedroom, leaving me to pick up the mess.

"Still, your behavior-" I interrupt my Dad, "I know. I made a mistake, and I am sorry. Can I now please go to my room?"

"No. I don't want you to see that boy anymore." "What?" I ask loudly.

"This Munson kid has caused enough harm. I will be damned if I let you end up like Chrissy Cunningham," Dad yells determent, making me shake my head.

"Eddie had nothing to do with Chrissy's death."

"We don't know that for sure," Mom says, trying to be the calm voice of reason as my father becomes angrier by the second.

"Yes, we do," I argue. "Jason has been spinning out of control for months now. Why isn't anybody in this fucking town questioning his bullshit accusations?"

Mom hands my father his coffee, and he takes it to the living room. Simply leaving the discussion like he always does. Then she sits down beside me, trying to hold my hand.

"People wouldn't find it so easy to believe if the Munson boy hadn't given them so many reasons to."

I let out a sarcastic laugh, then scoff, "Funny, 'cause when people tried to – very rightfully so – suspect that our family's wealth comes from decades of slavery and human trafficking, you both told me that foolish people are willing to believe everything just to run their mouths."

"[y/n]..."

I shake my head, so angry at my family's hypocrisy, "You're not treating Eddie fair. You're judging him and his character through his upbringing, social status, and nonsensical rumors from an unstable family member."

"Hun, I know you like that boy, and dating a bad boy sounds exciting for girls your age – I know, I've been there – But boys like that have the power of ruining your life."

"You don't know him, Mom," I tell her, tears in my eyes. The Upside Down had thoroughly messed up my relationship with my family. "When the earthquake hit Hawkins, I was with Eddie and our friends. If he hadn't been there, I would be dead now. He saved me."

Mom looks at me, shocked. I've refused to talk about the accident until now since I still haven't thought out a perfect lie. I see the pain in my mother's eyes, I know she loves me, and after so many died due to the earthquake, it terrifies her that I could've been one of them.

"Mom, Eddie's a little weird, sometimes completely bonkers, loud, and obnoxious, but he is neither dangerous nor bad for me."

She presses her lips together, trying not to mess up her perfectly applied lipstick. Then she nods. "Go to bed. We'll talk once you have had some sleep."

I go to my room, locking the door behind me. Dressing in some fresh underwear and an oversized band t-shirt my mother hates, I lay down on my bed.

It's already light outside, soon, my dad will go to work, and my mom will pop some uppers and drive around town, spending some money on things we don't need and thinking about what to serve for dinner.

I wonder if I would've ever noticed how dysfunctional our family is, even with all our money, wouldn't I've gotten involved with Will's vanishing?

Would I've ever known how much more important my happiness is than following my family's plans and traditions?

Knocking on my bedroom window pulls me from my thoughts. On the tree branch in front of my window stands Eddie.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open it, letting him in.

"I wanted to see if you're okay... And I brought your guitar," he smiles, turning the strep across his chest and putting Honey into my view. I'd forgotten the guitar in my hurry.

"I'm sorry, [y/n]. He grabbed you really hard. I- I should've defended you," Eddie says, hands running up and down my arm, causing goosebumps to appear.

"Jason was drunk and with his friends. They were only looking for a reason to hurt you," I tell him as he hands me the guitar, and I place it on the floor next to my vanity.

I turn on some music, not too loud to annoy anybody, but loud enough to hide that I wasn't alone. Eddie, meanwhile, starts snooping around, almost reminding me of a puppy being in its new home for the first time.

"Now that's a preppy room. I've never seen a preppy room, but this one..." he chuckles, his big button eyes filled with amusement. "I know. Mom decorated it."

He looks further around while I sit down on my bed. As he opens my closet door, a poster of Eddie Van Halen has him crack up before he goes on a deep dive to see all the things I hide in there from my parents.

"Now, that's more like you," Eddie exclaims, pulling out my old working uniform. "You know, I always walked by Scoops Ahoy when I was at the mall... Always hoped to see you."

With butterflies in my stomach, I watch him hang the uniform back into the closet. "I saw you walking by a couple of times. Why didn't you talk to me?"

He shrugs, walking to the end of my bed. "I chickened out. I mean, would you've actually talked to Eddie 'The Freak' Munson, or would you've called for Harrington to protect you?"

"I would've loved having you talk to me," I assure him, and he begins to grin. "Careful; I might start believing you had a crush on me, Sweetheart."

I crawl to the end of my bed, pulling Eddie down by his jacket. His grin becomes bigger before his lips press down on mine. I shuffle back to my pillows, pushing his jacket over his shoulder and throwing it aside. We kiss again as he makes himself comfortable between my legs.

Eddie breaks the kiss, whispering, "I need to leave before your parents come in and find us like that."

His knuckles brush over my cheeks, a soft smile on his lips, and I realize that I don't want him to leave—the quite opposite, actually. I want him to be even closer to me.

"My door's locked," I tell him with a cheeky grin. "They think I'm sleeping."

His softness quickly begins harboring an aura of mischief. "Naughty little thing," he whispers, pressing his lips against mine.

The kiss becomes rough and demanding as Eddie growls into it, starting to explore my mouth with his tongue. After hours of doing nothing else last night, his hands on my body and lips on my own feel natural. My fingers glide into his curly mane while I start rocking my hips against him, searching for friction.

An excited whimper leaves me, and I reach for his belt. "N-No, Sweetheart," Eddie stops me gently. "We have no condoms."

"Pill," I exclaim, needier than planned. "I'm on the pill." He raises his brows for a second, and I add, "I started taking it as part of a feminism phase Robin and I had."

Eddie props himself up, looking at me, insecure. "And you're sure you actually want that? I'm not really the upper-class jock your parents want for you."

I'm looking up at this intimidatingly looking metalhead, smiling. Looks can be so deceiving. "I know, and I like you better that way," I tell him, watching his self-doubt melt away and replace with a contented smile.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he tosses it somewhere in my room. I goggle at his naked chest, the tattoos, the scars, the happy trail. I'm close to tears, and I don't know why; my body feels like I'm being lit on fire; all I can think of is how badly I want him.

"I want you," I whine, hips moving up against nothing. "Please..."

Eddie leans down, pecking my lips for a moment, "I know, baby. I want you too." As he moves back up, he grabs the hem of my shirt, waiting. I lift my back enough so he can take it off me. He tosses it over his shoulder, eyes locking with my breasts.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath, eyes wandering across the room for a moment. As he looks at me again, he licks his lips. "You're so beautiful."

He drops onto his elbows, kissing me again. Eddie's hands roam my body; thighs, stomach, breasts; there is no place he doesn't explore. So at one point, his fingers glide over my clothes pussy.

I try to move into his touch. Eddie chuckles, pulling my panties aside and letting his fingers run through my folds. He grunts into the kiss, moving up a little, "Holy fuck, Sweetheart. You're so wet."

I nod, embarrassed, swallowing a loud moaning the second he touches my swollen clit. He shushes me gently, pecking my lips, then moves his fingers to his mouth. They glisten in the morning sun, and as he licks my wetness from them, I become dizzy for a second.

Eddie grins at me, fully aware of the effect he just had on me. He comes closer again, kissing me and letting me taste myself on his tongue. Then he kisses my neck, wandering down and stopping at my breast, gently sucking on my left nipple while playing with my right one.

I struggle to stay quiet, hating the thought of having to wait any longer. "Eddie, please," I whine, hips jolting up and meeting with his clothed erection.

He grabs the waistband of my panties, making me lift my hips to help him remove them. They are quickly thrown aside, my hands on his belt again. This time I'm triumphant; Eddie climbs off the bed, taking off his jeans, underwear, and shoes.

I bite into the pillowy part of my bottom lip as I'm met with the view of his hard, veiny cock, making him chuckle and kiss me playfully all over the face as he climbs back on top of me.

Guiding his cock up and down my pussy, he coats himself with my arousal, using it like a natural lubricant. "Ready?" he asks, and I nod, grinning excitedly.

Lining up with me, he pushes in slowly until he fully bottoms out inside me. My eyes press shut, and a whimper leaves my lips at the stinging. My nails dig into the skin of his upper arms. Eddie doesn't move anymore, giving me time to get used to the new, stretching sensation.

"Doing so good, baby," he whispers, kissing my cheek, the corner of my lips, and then me fully. I melt into his gentle touches, hands stroking up and down my sides.

"So beautiful," he grins. "And all mine." I nod. "All yours."

Eddie begins to move, making me feel so full, that I think I'm about to break in two, but instead, every thrust of his makes me feel alive.

I want more, figuring out how to meet his thrusts, moving against him. Our breathing becomes louder, moans and praises are spoken with hushed voices.

Eddie doesn't pick up the speed, my bed already threatening to give us away. Instead, he becomes harsher, administrating long and deep thrusts that make my eyes roll into the back of my head.

I moan loudly, arching my back. In an instant, his hand covers my mouth. "We need to be quiet, baby," he reminds me quietly but doesn't stop pounding into me for even a second.

I moan into his palm, holding onto his wrist, so his hand doesn't move from my mouth. "I know. I know, don't worry. I'll make sure they don't hear you," he promises with a low grunt as he rolls his hips into mine.

Our eyes lock, his gaze full of lust and admiration. Sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead. His thrust become more demanding, and I hear my own wetness every time he rocks against me.

As control seems to escape us, Eddie's deep, husky moans become louder. The secrecy of having raw sex that I was taught would get me to hell before marriage feels so filthy, yet it is heaven.

My nails dig into the flesh of his back, and his lips press kisses against my shoulder and collarbone, occasionally biting into it. Tightening around Eddie, I  am on the edge of my orgasm.

"Fuck," he moans. Our eyes meet again, his hand still over my mouth. I lift my hand as he curses again, clasping it over his mouth.

His hips stagger at this before a moan vibrates in my palm. I come right then. I fall apart into millions of pieces and am put back together a new person—a free one that doesn't care about any social status anymore.

If this is wrong, if this is sin, I want to be amiss for the rest of my life.

A deep growl is muffled in my palm as Eddie comes, both of us silencing the other's moans as we ride out our high.

As his hips still, our hands retreat. Stupid, exhausted grins on our lips; he kisses me and pulls out. I whimper at the sudden emptiness, having him chuckle and lie beside me.

Eddie pulls me into a tight embrace, and we just lay there, wrapped around each other for a few minutes, listening to nothing but our breathing.

My head rests on his chest, fingers circling his tattoos and dark pink scars. We're both sweaty, but neither of us cares. This moment is perfect.

"[y/n]?" Eddie whispers into the silence, hand locked around my waist to ensure I stay put.

"Hm?" I hum, looking up at him. "Your parents want you to stay away from me, right?" He asks, insecurity, sighing deeply as I nod. "Figured."

"Eddie..." I whisper as he sits up, grabbing his boxers. He shakes his head, pulling them up. "No, they're right. You'll find better, deserve better."

I stop the curly-headed metalhead before he can dress any further. Hand on his arm, I lean close. "Don't say that. I- It's only until we're graduating. Once I get my money, I'll move out, and we can be together... If you still want that."

He looks at me for a second, then whispers, "Your family will be furious with you." I nod. "Yeah, but they'll calm down once they see how happy I am... I hope."

I don't have much faith in it, but I refuse to live the miserable life my parents approve of. Eddie's tongue swipes over his lips while he is thinking; I can visibly see the cogs turn behind his chocolate eyes.

"So, that would make one month where I don't get to hold, kiss, or even talk to you," he says emotionless.

"Is that okay?" I ask, unsure. We are rushing; the decisions are way too extreme for the little time we spent like this.

But like I said, Vecna could return at any moment. We could die faster than we seem to be rushing. I have to go all in and live.

Eddie turns to me, the knuckles of his ringed fingers brushing offer my cheek. "Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens," he hums a familiar quote, proving him to be a soft nerd under all his leather and chains.

"I have been head over heels for you since I was seventeen, and until everyone thought I was a murderer, I never even dared to look at you for too long. I can handle loving you from afar for a month."

My heart skips a beat as I echo, "Loving me?"

Pressing a kiss on my lips, he chuckled, "Seriously, if you haven't picked up on that by now, you're the one who needs a tutor."

He pushes me back into the pillows, climbing on top of me. Insecure all my life, I absolutely don't mind being completely naked in front of Eddie. He makes me feel safe and like it doesn't matter what I look like.

"Shit," I cuss, remembering his test. "How are we going to study for your test?" Kissing the tip of my nose, he smiles, "We don't. I can handle my studying, [y/n]. I'm a big boy. You just keep practicing with Honey, so I can have a jam session with my girlfriend soon, okay?"

Girlfriend. I am Eddie 'The Freak' Munson's girlfriend.

My life has been full of titles until now, the cheerleader, teacher's pet, Jason Carver's cousin, golden child, tutor, babysitter... But this is the first one that I feel proud of, the first one that feels authentic.

➤ Here is Part 2: Girlfriend

#eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader

[nanabansama]

Hi hi! why do you think Tsukasa kisses Nene ? do you think he likes her ? Do you think Nene will start to like Tsukasa after this ?

Hi! You're in luck actually, because I have been thinking very heavily about Tsukasa and Nene's relationship recently and have some #thoughts. (Err, but who hasn't been thinking about them, honestly...?)

Okay, so you're wondering if Tsukasa likes Nene, why he kissed her, and if Nene will start to like him... let's see...

First, do I think he likes her...? Well, I wouldn't say that's completely off the table yet. Look at how happy he gets after kissing her:

Cute, right?! I think saying something like... "he's in LOVE with her"... might be a bit too grandiose, but it's definitely giving off the vibes of a kiddy crush, at least. And like with any kiddy crush, he has a precocious way of showing it.

Consider: him offering her food...

...Leaning in really close to her face while her eyes are closed...

...I mean, it's not totally impossible, right? He even invites her on a PLAY DATE.

Haha, but to be real with you, I am having a bit of trouble believing he has an actual crush on her myself. It's certainly a lower priority to him than getting the Yorishiro destroyed and accomplishing his goals, anyway.

I'm also going to discount any instances of Tsukasa getting annoyed with the reverted child form of Nene as proof that he doesn't like her, because I think it's kind of ridiculous to expect any hypothetical crush he has to stay intact when she starts acting like this:

All this to say, don't let anyone tell you that Tsunene is fake or anything. I personally am undecided on it, leaning more towards Tsukasa not having a crush, but I could just as easily believe he has a small crush on her, too.

So, if Tsukasa doesn't have a crush on Nene, then why would we kiss her? Well...

Honestly, sometimes? I don't think Tsukasa really thinks much before doing things. Not always, of course...! But remember, this is the guy who just randomly decided that he was going to swim to Los Angeles:

I hope this isn't too lackluster of an answer, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Tsukasa only did it... just because! Maybe he saw Amane kissing her and wanted to copy him. Maybe he thought it'd be a funny prank, kissing her when he knows she likes Amane and Amane likes her. Remember, Tsukasa has never been above pulling pranks on his brother or his assistant.

Need I remind you that he tried to eat her?

He's just a bit... mysterious. The comparisons people make of him to an animal or toddler are not completely unwarranted. Still, he is a scheming 13-year-old ghost that has proven levels of intellect and cruelty on par with other members of the cast. It's best not to underestimate him too much... I just really can't see any benefit to kissing Nene other than getting a laugh out of it. Or, potentially, a little treasure for himself! ❤️

Finally, you asked if Nene would fall in love with him... this is actually my favorite part of the ask, because I considered how likely this was to happen and surprised myself with where my mind went, lmao.

The first thing we need to remember about Nene is that she is described as, and demonstrably is, a girl in love with love. She LIVES for romance. (Just keep this in mind always. It might even be the most important part of her character, idk.)

Now, not only is Tsukasa an identical clone to the boy she loves--the boy she's planning on asking to be her BOYFRIEND soon, mind you--but she sees the potential!!! She literally had an entire daydream about him showing up to be Hanako's "rival" for her love.

While she's very clearly still loyal to Hanako, take note of the fact that she made both of the twins look taller and more handsome in the daydream. This could be proof she finds him physically attractive. ...That being said, she seems more into the fact that Tsukasa is into her than anything else... but can you really blame her? She's always dreamed of being popular with boys. To have TWO boys be madly in love with her is something straight out of her wildest fantasies.

Okay, but you know what's kinda funny? This whole... "Taller Twins" fantasy... is um... kind of happening right now?!

While the height difference is obviously greater than the one between her and the Fantasy Tsukasa, it's still hilarious that this is even happening. And, while Tsukasa hasn't exactly been the best babysitter for Nene so far...

...she is having a ton of fun with him!!!

Also, I haven't brought this up yet, but during The Misaki Stairs Arc, Nene brings up having had a crush on her Kindergarten teacher. Is it so unrealistic that Nene might end up getting a crush on Tsukasa, too? Especially for a girl who falls in love so easily?

Well, if not, I'm still expecting her to be totally enchanted by Hanako if she happens to meet him when she's still a child, lol. Could you imagine how cool he would look to 5-year-old Nene, coming to save her?! She already thinks he looks cool when they're at their typical height difference!

JUST IMAGINE HOW STARSTRUCK SHE WOULD BE, NOW THAT HE'S SEVERAL FEET TALLER...!! Crazy.

Anyway. To summarize: I think Tsukasa could have a crush on Nene, I think Tsukasa either kissed her just because or because he has a kiddy crush on her, and I think Baby Nene could develop a crush on Tsukasa. Thanks for the ask!

#asks #tsukanene #tsunene #tsukasa yugi #nene yashiro #tbhk #jshk

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 7

very notable that this was within the context of being about "love" specifically. (at least) one-sided trevek canon? (i'm not even a huge trevek shipper i just think this whole plotline is funny)

okay, so Yul's foot injury IS real. or at least, he's using it as an excuse to complain. still, the fact that it was brought up again an episode later makes me think that it's going to have SOME relevance to the plot.

any time that Yul has to parrot something in Emily's "you go girlfriend ;D" manner of speaking i cackle. he didn't choose the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle, the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle chose him.

Grett i am... genuinely confused. how can you possibly think that Yul is actually in love with you? did you really receive THAT little love in your home life? you have no ability to distinguish catty and fake praise for your accomplishments from real ones because your family gave you THAT little recognition? man. now i made myself sad :( ily Grett

okay, confirming that 1) it was Tom's trap, 2) they are willing to eat squirrels, 3) Tom is serving as the provider for the Cyan tribe. all things to take into account for any upcoming Cyan eliminations.

why

and how does said boyfriend feel about you kissing another man on television, Tom? this is a stupid lie.

again, why? it's probably already apparent from my earlier comments, but i changed my mind; i'm fully with Jake in this argument now. sure, Jake is really insecure and overly emotional, but what the HELL is Tom doing? making up a boyfriend is a really shitty thing to do, whether Tom had a legit reason for not calling Jake these past two years or if he didn't contact Jake due to his own mixed feelings/indifference. in either case, he should have told Jake the truth. at least when Jake was acting immature in S1, he was 24. Tom is a nearly 30 year old man. ACT LIKE IT.

Fiore slay

this is a really interesting response due to how vague it is, including in the vocal performance. was he taken off guard by his boss being nice to him? does he believe that she's telling the truth? does he feel bad for Trevor, or will he come to believe that he IS way better than Trevor? i'm glad that they're continuing on with the concept of the hosts having a plotline, because imo that was one of the highlights of S2, but they aren't doing it in a way that eats up as much of the screentime as it did in S2.

if Will was out of the picture i would be shipping these two so hard. who am I kidding, i kind of still am anyways.

Ally's other gf is here :,) glad that they got to reconnect (and neither of them were eliminated for it)

Fiore slay

the confirmation that Aiden thinks that the idea of him having any attraction to Tom is laughable and disgusting is HILARIOUS to me. bro really said, "why the hell would i be into YOU when i have JAMES lmao" straight to Tom's face. tbf, James and Tom are like... opposites in terms of personality and appearance (beyond being generally handsome and athletic young men).

"silly me, i keep forgetting that not everyone met their super cool and attractive boyfriend on reality TV. my bad!" (/pos)

(i tried to type "hubby" instead of boyfriend but i spared you all. it was too cringe even as the one subjecting others to the cringe.)

okay this was very fitting for her. iconic.

honestly, Alec and Riya's villainous alliance/friendship is really fun. leave it to Alec to always find himself in the least likely but most entertaining duos. Riya really benefits from being paired with a legitimate strategist, and someone who won't just let her totally get away with stuff.

we had to get in one last Fiore taking unnecessary damage for the road :,(

feeling like Jaiden is going to be winning the starting couples' survival roulette. and Wishley, to the extent they count.

now i'm no physicist, but how did this work? shouldn't the ball be a fast and heavy enough object at this point that it would jump over the log, not ricochet off of it? i suppose if the ball is made of something more like wicker than yarn, it could be a bit more likely to do that. but then why is it going to the side? it hit the log straight on!

... are you not allowed to help him anymore? what?

ellie is going full villain mode fr. if her and gabby's relationship gets messed up, that would definitely be karma. but, i suppose she survives this episode...

this is funny because nobody strikes me as the pizza and soda loving type. Alec, Grett, Yul, and Riya all seem like people who would want to eat something that's both fancier and healthier.

communication W (for both of them)

Fiore is such a best girl that she's not even a salty juror. she's not mad at them for so long that she can't use her final moments to throw a wrench in the works for everyone else. the grind never sleeps, clowns <3

and she even conquered her greatest nemesis, the bus, this time. fly high, queen. i'll miss you.

well, as a Fiore stan, this episode was a bit sad for me. but, i do totally understand why Magenta would both vote for Fiore and lose the challenge. (damn you, Ellie...) Fiore already did super well in both S1 and the original Adventure Camp, so i understand why they wouldn't have her go super far again in this season, especially when everyone knows she's such a threat.

i just hope that we can still get a little more closure for her and Alec than we got already in this season. all it has to be is, like, him being sad at her elimination for reasons other than pure strategy and maybe a nice conversation at the finale. it doesn't have to be Alec finally adopting her... even if i did want that to happen... i'd just prefer to know that they leave things on good terms.

anyways, another really solid episode! i look forward to the next one. thanks for reading!

#disventure camp #dcas #disventure camp spoilers #dcas initial thoughts

[the-world-of-nai]

birth chart analysis: harry styles

today we are analyzing our air king, harry styles. i have noticed i've only been analyzing women so i wanted to switch it up. harry's chart kinda scares me, at least his big 6. anyways, let's get to it!

DISCLAIMER: this is just my interpretation of and opinion on his chart. it is not absolute truth, nor do you have to agree with it, but i'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments :) every sign has its shadow traits. i have aquarius and libra in my chart, but i will be pointing out the shadow traits of these signs. astrology is just for fun, not that deep. i feel the need to make this disclaimer as people are seemingly offended by some of my astro notes...

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sun in ♒︎, 11°

ah yes, the aqua sun. what is there not to love? the pickmeisha behaviour? the emotional unavailability? the know it all syndrome? LOL ANYWAYSSSS BEFORE ALL THE BUTTHURT PEOPLE COMMENT I WAS JUST KIDDINGGGGGGG (i am an aqua myself, okay? i'm allowed to make these jokes💅). so this placement makes harry a mercury influenced aqua (if u are dumb that just means he is an aqua with some gemini vibes sprinkled onto him). off the bat, we can say that harry is a humanitarian at heart. he wants to change the world and be known for some big innovation. he has a way with words. he likes to learn new things, but he is quite set in his own convictions. harry believes that he is smarter than most people, and he is probably right. developed aquarians are open-minded, but they are hardly wrong about things so their beliefs/convictions don't change much. the shadow side to this is (drumroll plz) KNOW IT ALL SYNDROME!!! with all that aqua in his chart, harry believes himself to be a genius but he is also above the school and education system. 2 cool for skool. did i mention how rebellious he is? harry is a stubborn person in general. he is either super traditional, or super liberal in his beliefs. he does not like to follow the crowd. he likes to come to his own conclusions on things and he has a dislike of sorts for those who cannot think for themselves. harry is eccentric, social, friendly, accepting of others, and a bit flighty if anything. he has some special snowflake syndrome for sure. he likes getting attention for his innovative ideas. he wants to be a pioneer of sorts. he likes to stand out for his uniqueness, so to speak. he wants to help the world and make it a better place. i mean, just look at his merch LOL. he wants to encourage people to be their most authentic selves, because he cannot imagine not living that way.

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moon in ♎︎, 11°

bro idk what it is with these celebs and libra moons! 3/4 of my analysis now have libra moons. it does add up though because libra moons value social status and luxury. harry is charming, emotionally aloof, attractive, and likeable. he is someone who does not like conflict. he values peace, harmony, and manners. MANNERSSSS. he is polite and sweet to people. he may be fake sometimes and pretend to like people who he doesn't like lol. he knows how to make others like/trust him and he can easily use this to his advantage (read: take advantage of other ppl after making them feel special and showering them with compliments!!). overall, he is very concerned with what is right. he will stand up to bullies, esp with that aqua influence. he likes fashion, luxury, status. he cares a good deal about his looks. he can be quite experimental/unique in his fashion tastes. he is not a very emotionally reactive person. it is rare to see him yell or get very angry. he is calm, cool, collected. a people pleaser at heart. he may have a strong conscience/gets guilty easily. he is indecisive on his feelings. he is a romantic and he longs to be in a partnership. he is very social and always wants to be around people because it energizes him, gives him meaning. the approval of others is important for his self esteem. without it, he may feel empty inside.

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asc in ♎︎, 28°

again, it is all about the MANNERSS with this man. he is so polite and charming. all smiles and compliments. a 'gentleman' so to speak. he is medium tall, beautiful smile, pretty boy. always well kempt and effortless beauty. quite aloof and detached when you meet him (and lowkey always cuz like he's all air). he is the type of person that u meet and u swear he was flirting with you, but then u see that he flirts with everyone LOLLLLLLLLL. he may be a hugger. makes people feel quite special. again, cares a good deal about his looks. to harry, meeting new people is like a game: how fast can i make this person like me???

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mercury in ♒︎

okay harry, we get it. you are not like other girls!! with mercury in aqua, harry likes to learn. he likes to write. he may be good at learning languages. he has a way with words, albeit a bit of a unique way. he is curious. he is fun to speak to. he may be interested in weird niche things like the occult, anime, poetry, etc. he likes to know about the world. could also be into debating and/or politics, esp with that libra in his chart.

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venus in ♒︎

more aqua, are we shocked?? taylor swift also has a venus in aqua,,, soulmates? so basically this means many things. harry treats his lover like his best friend. this can make his lover wonder if they're even special at all lol. to his loved ones, harry is generous, caring, friendly, accepting, understanding, and quirky. though he is non-committal and flighty as well. he values mental connection above all else. he wants someone who he can have good conversations with; someone who stimulates him mentally. he may be the type who is open to poly relationships LOLLLLLLLLLL or like sexual experimentation?? with all this aqua lmao. he has a very unique/eccentric sense of style.

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mars in ♒︎

harry does NOT CAREEEEEEE. he does not get mad or vengeful, he is a just a go with a flow dude who wants to have a good time. harry does not hold grudges either lol. again, he is rebellious and marches to the beat of his own drum. he does not like to be told what to do. he honestly could not give less of a fck what other people r sayin. he has his own methods when it comes to getting his projects done. his work ethic is: i will work when i feel like it! and if u tell him to work, he is less likely to do it because it triggers his aqua rebellion instincts.

anyways it's kinda hard to elaborate further cuz this man is just an aquarius through and through LOL.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

thank you all for reading! lmk your thoughts below. who should i do next??

#spirituality #astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astrology community #astrologist #astral #astro #astro notes #astro community #astrological observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #horoscope #horoscopes #harry styles #1d #one direction #aquarius #libra

[caintooth]

Okay this is a little weird but I have a DID question.

I had a friend in high school who claimed to have DID. I met several alleged alters and she really would change a lot between personalities, even seeming stronger, having a higher body temp, and having different handwriting as certain alters. She also definitely had a real, terrible childhood that I could see causing her to split off an alter for protection. At the time I was about 80% convinced.

It's been years and we're still good friends, but she hasn't mentioned any alters since high school, and she has also not mentioned being able to integrate some or all of her alters, even tho we talk about mental health often. I haven't seen her be (or at least I haven't noticed her being) any of the alters I would recognize from high school. But I also used to spend almost every day with her and now I go weeks or months without hanging out with her so my sample size is smaller.

Starting a few months after I stopped seeing her every day I started to become more skeptical of her claim to have DID, because it felt a bit too much like a movie to me at the time. Sometimes I could request time with a specific alter and they would show up, but sometimes they wouldn't. It didn't seem like she was someone else without willing it, very often if ever. She had like 3 main alters when she told me about it - a protector, a little kid, and one more I can't remember and didn't see often - and she allegedly acquired a cat alter sometime after that.

I'm split about it now. I believed her for the most part at the time, because she really did seem different, but I also knew that was the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about so I was always mildly suspicious. Now looking back I feel bad doubting her because if she was telling the truth, it would probably really hurt her to know I doubted her. But also that is the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about! I had other friends lie about similar shit. And I haven't seen any evidence in so long and it hasn't come up in just as long.

I've always wanted to ask her about it but I don't want to embarrass her or harm our friendship which is still strong despite this question lol. I know you're not a doctor and it can be dangerous to speculate, but I just wondered what your perspective as someone with DID is?

This is such a strange thing to anonymously ask a stranger.

Are you hoping I’ll tell you she was faking? Are you hoping I’ll validate your assumptions about her inner life? What you have described is incredibly textbook for DID.

To help you understand, let me explain that Dissociative Identity Disorder presents in two ways, typically: overtly, or covertly.

An “overt” presentation is as you were describing her high school presentation— the disorder is easier to see as an outside viewer, because an “overt” presenter has (comparatively) more visible switches between alters, with (comparatively) more noticeable differences between their abilities, voices, interests, personalities, mannerisms, etc.

And so, a “covert” presentation is the opposite of this, where the disorder is not very obvious to an outside viewer at all. Switches may seem seamless, or they may seem to not switch at all. Alters do not have as many outwardly visible differences, may have similar or same voices and mannerisms, may not speak openly about their differing opinions or likes/dislikes.

DID is a disorders which forms, as you acknowledge, to protect the haver from trauma. And because the disorder is trying to protect you, it can shift between “overt” to “covert” presentation as needed.

A system may present more overtly, for example, if some alters are better emotionally or physically equipped for a task than others, if some alters are more likely to be treated in the way the system most needs at the time, if some alters have stronger interests and knowledge about a certain subject, etc. And many systems, myself included, find themselves presenting more overtly simply when they are safe and comfortable with the people around them!

In contrast, then, a system may present more covertly when it is not safe to have visible differences, and/or to help disguise the system as one person. Alters may mimic each other to help keep their differences from putting them in danger, and this can happen so discreetly that the system themself may not even be aware of switching when it happens. This being said, systems can also present covertly just because super visible differences are not needed to keep them safe / if being outwardly visibly different from one another doesn’t serve as much of a purpose as being inwardly different.

Systems can also move between these modes for other reasons besides safety and comfort, but as far as I know, those are the main two reasons. And I want to clarify that this move isn’t, most of the time, a conscious choice. The disorder kinda decides for you.

So, if your friend who once presented very overtly around you and spoke of their DID often, is now showing a much more covert presentation and not sharing details of their disorder with you… I have two guesses.

One, your friend may simply be in a different phase of their life, where they don’t feel the need to share many details of their DID with you. People can decide to be more private about things they were once open about, and there’s nothing wrong or suspicious about that.

Two… Your friend is presenting covertly around you for comfort and safety reasons. Maybe they no longer consider you a person they can openly be themselves around.

You might want to reflect on why either of these reasons might be the case. I am not going to tell you your friend is faking. Everything you described is very typical of DID and, again, I think it is very strange you would come into my ask box seeking my opinion on this, as if you assume I, and very good friends of mine, have not presented in similar ways throughout different points in our lives.

Have you considered, I don’t know— just asking about how her headmates have been doing lately? This is indeed a very weird way to handle your feelings about this.

#diary #dissociative identity disorder #did #actually did #actually dissociative #dissociative system #did system

[alarrytale]

You've lost respect for harry when he was covering himself from paps pretending he didn't know they gon be there? I lost it after the emrata thing. Bc up until this point all of his stunts and fake girlfriends had some sort of purpose. Holivia happened bc there is no way he could do a gay movie without being linked to a woman. But making out for no real reason unless attention? Just because he had a break on his tour and don't u dare he wasn't in the papers being talked about during this time. The thigh tattoo which is also just for the attention? Current stunt that's happening because there are some pieces of expensive designer fabric to sell and make everyone richer? I lost respect for him when I saw him getting way too comfortable with ignoring the principles I believed he had. Has the fame, power and money really got to his head that much? Does he really want to become a household name by playing pretend? Louis has this little break on tour, they haven't seen each other in months and Harry is still going out stunting instead doing everything to make up for the time apart. Pathetic if you ask me. Has he become such a yes man to his army of leechers that does everything he's told? Has he stopped caring about everything as long as his album and tour sells? I have been a fan since 2014 and this Harry is a stranger to me and I don't support him in anything he does anymore. People obviously change but I'm not ready to attend the funeral for the person he used to be. Either way I wouldn't call myself a fan of his anymore. Fame, money and status are such shallow goals to have in life. Having the right people around you who love you unconditionally and would never use you for their sake is the most valuable thing. I can only hope Harry would realise this one day before he starts to rot with his money around people who only see him as a product that they can mold into anything they desire. (Sorry it was long, I had to get this off my chest )

Hi, anon!

It's okay, get it off your chest. What i meant is that i'm losing respect for him, it's getting chipped off bit by bit, not that there is no respect left. I agree i lost a lot with the emrata stunt. I still think there are some extenuating circumstances here, due to things out of his control, but i do agree there are things he doesn’t have to do that can't be explained away. Like him pretend hiding himself from paps he and his team called.

I think we are all just basing our judgement on him on what we see here and now. Things might make more sense at a later date or if we get more information. I, like you, can't reconcile the person i see now, with the one i used to know.

I deal well with the stunts, i don't deal well with the fake friendships or the capitalist turn this has all taken. The greed he's starting to show is such a turn off. The crackdown on fake merch, the blood prices on tickets, pleas*ng, the low quality brand deal promo for a quick buck. I would buy all this if i knew it went into his 'sue sony' fund. But it looks like it goes into the pockets of jeff and sony, with harry getting a cut. Cool it with the blatant greed thanks. At least be transparent about it. Say that your're a citrus fruit bike ambassador or a german lion brand ambassador.

I wish that his, jeff's and sony's priorities were different. He is more than a product that can be sold to the highest bidder (or not that high even...) it leaves us with such a bad taste in our mouths. I hope H knows all this and that's why he looks like a sourpuss while doing it...

#harry image #hshq #azoffs #sony

[mistymeow69]

This is your reminder that my account was created to share my "alternative" personal views. I will take little to no criticism, I will not change based off of what the majority tells me to, even if it's already a minority. I will always honor myself and what I believe in. This account is to talk about the things that normally wouldn't be socially acceptable to.

I'm getting attacked for my last post, but honestly idc lol. (Rant kinda)

if you wanna be a safe space for creeps, baits, and overall people who mock our community and diminish our struggles so they can use a label they don't understand, go ahead, but not everyone wants to be associated with that. Just proves what kind of person you are, someone who doesn't understand us at all.

Paralleling me to transmeds is crazy. Just because transgenderism and other transids are similar, doesn't mean they're not completely different in many other ways. Gender is a subjective thing. You can't be hypothetically disabled.

Things such as gender and race ARE social constructs, so you can interpret your identity with them as you please. It's not real, after all. Things such as transabled, however, are based off of real things that people struggle with daily. I'm not saying it's wrong to transition to it, but it's not something to be taken lightly. There's a very thin line between minimizing disabled peoples experiences and mocking them vs. actual transabled people who know what they're talking about, and I'm sick of people mixing them up and referring to them both as the same.

Disabilities are a VERY real thing. You can't just transition to it for the labels and an inner feeling that doesn't even match the transition like you can gender and race. There's literally no way to host an identity like that WITHOUT feeling at least a little dysphoria and wanting to transition, even if you can't. I don't care how much you ostracize me for this, we need to stop being a safe space for bad people. This is why the respectful radqueers still get judged so heavily.

Transharmed is one thing, it's your body so it's your choice as long as you know what you're talking about, doing, and respecting people who were born with it, but transharmful? I genuinely don't get it. Like transna/zi and transgro/omer? Do people seriously think these identities are okay? Identifying with ra/cism and eu/geni/cs and overall harming others goes COMPLETELY against the original rq ideology.

Call me a fake radqueer, call me a transmed, call me an exclusionist, but I will never ever support people who are harming anyone intentionally.

Transitioning to anything isn't something to be taken lightly. It's not a joke, it's not something fun, it's not aesthetic. It's a grueling, painful experience that, if any of us had the option to not have to go through it, we wouldn't. It hurts. So I wish people would stop pretending like our suffering is just something they can do for a week for fun.

We're a community that was built off of our unusual dysphoria and being ostracized out of our own communities. Please don't continue the cycle by ostracizing people who have their own views.

Anyway, because of all of this drama, and a lot of my personal ideologies and morals not fitting the standard radqueer ones, does anyone know of any similar labels? Should I make my own?

#radqueer #rq 🍓🌈 #rqc🌈🍓 #radinclus #transid #transx #transabled #transharm #transharmed #transharmful #transracial #diaethnic #diarace #diaracial #transjapanese

[sardix]

MY THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING TODAYS APRIL FOOLS SAMS VEDEO:

- Okay maaaybee we will get a real redemtion in the future? I mean they obiusly neded more time to do an acual eclipse redemption but... sooo maybe it's not all lost? (Yeach i'm not even sure if I believe it myself at this point maybe, hopefully they did it to make us top believing that he can be redemend so we can have a bigger suprise when he acualy does?)

- Okay, i'm at ruin moment and I must give them... i am laughing so hard now becouse there not even tring to hide that it's a joke, like "ah Yes i'm back and restored all 5000 dimensions to norm" or bloodmoon "and we forgive you although we shouldn't and we have no reason to acually forgive you"... i'm starting to worry that everyone does a fake apologize exept eclipse but becouse he apologized with the others... they will think his apology is fake..

- ykn what i'm not even suprised that the Creator showed up

- F*cking killcode is ALIVE!?

- I f*cking can't he said "pwese freaking pwease" he is doing a god damm baby voice And why is he 2x the hight!?

- why it dosn't suprise me that moon left sun with the problem becouse he had enough...

- BANBAN!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT!? So what next will be freaking wally?

- i'm sorry "he birth me!?" What!?

- KILLCODE STOP THE GOD DAMM BABY VOICE

- "thank you now I can die in Peace and go to heaven"... that one just writes itself... why does it sound like something eclipse would say ironicly?

- AMANDA!? WHAT THE HELL ARE WE NOW GOING FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO WRONGDE THEM? If the monster from backrooms shows up i'm done. I'm just done.

- I agree with sun she was there for only 5 MINUTES. 5.

- oooohhhh it's a dream... that explains soooooo much

- no moon, Okay I understand bloodmoon but you saw in what state eclipse is he could have apologized (he did before in sarcasm)

- okay so it's a dream witch means eclipses redemtion can hapend still wait.... OMG DID SUN THINK THAT ECLIPSE WOULD APOLOGIZE THAT'S WHY HE DREAMED ABOUT IT!? HE ACUALLY AT LEAST THOUGHT THAT ECLIPSE WOULD TRY CHANGING!? OMG OMG OMG THERE IS STILL HOPE!!!!!!

(Also thank you to @magrigano becouse they have noticed the fact that sun acually had to at least think about eclipse redeming since he dreamed about it)(go check them out there blog is amazing!)

#sams #tsams #sams eclipse #tsams eclipse #sams ruin #tsams ruin #sams bloodmoom #sams bloodmoon #sams killcode #tsams killcode #sams sun #tsams sun #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #sams creator #tsams creator #amanda the adventurer #garten of banban #wally darling #reaction

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

41. I'm sorry

"you okay there." Alex asked as she noticed you stirring your straw in your milkshake without drinking any of it. "it's really fucking up your mind isn't it."

"She doesn't have a choice. I know she doesn't want to and will fight it but we both know if starship wants this she has to do it. I keep telling myself it's fake. She's coming back to me right after, that I'm the one that gets to fall asleep with her in my arms." you never look up from the beverage, afraid of looking at Alex and breaking down in the middle of the place your in.

"but you can't shake the thought of her kissing him." lexi said. You nod and she places a hand on your leg, "Just remember she loves YOU not him. Yujin will do anything to keep that from happening, knowing her she'll offer to fake it and use camera angle to make it believable."

"I know let's just change the subject please?" they all nodded and you got to talking about the album and the new order for the tracklist. When you all finished up Alex went to get the car as you cleaned up after yourselves.

You suddenly felt your heart being squeezed paired with a pressure on your chest. Your breath became irregular as the pain got more intense, everything started to spin and you hear Lexi talking with Brady.

"Hey are you okay?" you felt Lexi grab your arm and she immediately turns your face to look at you, "you're burning up, what's wrong? Are you-"

"get Alex" you managed to get out, you tried to push yourself off the couch but Brady pushed you down before you could. "Alex kno-ws...." you tried to get out but everything got to much before everything went black. You fell forward and Lexi caught you just before you could fall on the ground.

There weren't a lot of people in the little dinner so the staff came to help immediately, "someone call 911!"

"we don't have time to wait, Come on." Brady and lexi carried you outside to the car. Alex tried to jump out but Brady shook her head and they put you in the backseat, lexi gets in after you and layes your head on her lap.

Alex races you to the hospital and carried you into the hospital with your arms around lexi and brady's shoulders. two nurses rushed to help them get you Inside and pushed you through the hallway on a gurney. After 30 minutes one of the nurses came back with a chart, " we examined her and she suffered from a minor heart attack, we don't know what caused it but She's stable now. We're going to monitor her closely for the next few hours and wait for her bloodtest to come back, if they come back clean and it doesn't progress further she can go home. I can take you to her if you like."

The three of them followed quickly, Alex stayed outside of the room talking with the nurse about some health information that they needed as Lexi and Brady entered your room.

" I love you but please never scare us like that again." lexi glared as she sat down next to you.

"sorry." you laughed," What's the verdict?"

"they haven't told you what happened?" Brady looked confused.

"I know what they did and all the Yada Yada parts but they haven't told me when I can leave. I know they told you more since you just got the update and I did 10minutes ago."

"Oh they said you could go home today if everything comes out alright. Realistically speaking you're stuck in here for at least 2 more hours." Brady took a look at her phone and you noticed her face fall for a split second.

"What's wrong?" She showed yujin's post and you sighed, "I guess she couldn't get out of it. Does she know I'm here?"

"uh, no fuck do you want me to call her?" lexi offered and you quickly shake your head.

"No, she already has a lot going on. I'll be out of here in a little while. she doesn't need to know."

"too late I already called her." Alex said as she walked in, "she's your girlfriend she has the right to know when you're not okay. She's on her way right now."

The doctor came back after a couple of minutes and informed you that all results came out positive, they want to keep you for a half hour to see if something changes and if it doesn't you're free to go. The attack was most likely caused by an overload of emotion and stress so they gave you some medication that would help you calm down. Yujin stormed into your room 10 minutes after with tears in her eyes. She immediately walks up to your bed and hugs you tightly. "I was so scared when Alex called. "

You made a little more room on your bed so she could sit down, "it's okay. i'm fine, they are monitoring me for now and if nothing changes I can leave in 10 minutes. No need to worry, I'm okay. Didn't you have-"

"don't think about finishing that sentence. You're more important then a stupid pr stunt." she kissed your temple and took your hand in hers.

At last the doctor arrives with a smile on his face and a chart under his arm, "good news. You're free to go. It hasn't progressed out of the mild stage, which is good, but you're going to have to take it easy for the next few days. Try to rest as much as you can this weekend and no intense activity for at least a week. Then you can start easing yourself back into everything. Think you can handle that?"

"Taking it easy isn't exactly my thing." you said.

Yujin glared at you, "I'll make sure she does."

When you get back to your hotel room, you flopped straight down on the bed. "Baby, you have to change your clothes." yujin spoke softly as she traced her fingers up and down your back. You groaned before rolling over, laying your head on her lap. " how are you feeling?" She smiled softly as she ran her fingers through your hair.

" to quote an icon: not bad but not good."

Yujin lets out a laugh and you couldn't help but smile at the sound. You stare up at her, loving the fact she's here with you. She noticed your staring and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, smiling when you separated. She reached over to the bedside table and grabbed your new medication " I'll get you some clothes as you take these pills."

You couldn't help but smirk, "You're the cutest nurse I've ever had."

"take it." she handed you the meds before disappearing out the bedroom, "do you want a t-shirt or a hoodie?" She yelled from inside.

"t-shirt is fine, thank you." you called back before swallowing the pills with water. When yujin came back inside the bedroom, she threw a shirt and sweatpants to your face.

"Do you want something to eat? I can call room service or ask the girls to bring something back."

"No need. I have some tea here, I'll just make it. " you smiled and she shook her head.

"I'll do it." and with that she left you to make it for you, not giving you a chance to argue. You quickly changed into the clothes yujin brought and noticed she picked one of her t-shirts she had left in your room.

When Yujin walked back in with a steaming mug in her hands her eyes drift to your pants, "the strings are loose. "

"What?"

"the strings" she nodded to you, you followed her eyes and chuckled.

"why are you looking over there ms. An?"

She blushed as she set the mug down, "it's not like that, the strings are too long. It's noticeable and grabbed my attention, so tie them."

"mmm, no." you layed back down on your bed before reaching for the mug, taking a sip and sighing at the sweet taste of berries.

Yujin took the opportunity to straddle your legs and tied the string of your sweats. She leaned down and pecked your lips quickly, "that's better."

She scooted down your body and layed her head on your chest, snuggling into you and listening to your heartbeat to remind herself you were here with her. That you were okay, you were alive. She couldn't believe it when Alex called her to say you were in the hospital because of your heart, she felt like she was going to puke when Alex told her it was most likely caused by emotional strain. She was already feeling guilty about the whole jinwoo situation but now it was eating her up, she was the reason you ended up in there. In her head she caused you pain, she didn't realize she started crying Until you grabbed her face and made her look at you.

"What's wrong?" your voice was so soft it made her loose any fight she had left to keep the tears back.

"i'm so sorry" she cried, "this is all my fault. You had to go to the hospital because of me, I'm so sorry." her nose got stuffy the more she sniffled and it broke your heart to know she was blaming herself for everything.

"what? No! Yujin look at me." you placed your mug on the bedside table and pulled her into you, "don't you even think for a second that this is your fault. You're the most amazing girlfriend I could ever ask for, what happened was out of our control. I won't lie to you and say that the whole jinwoo situation doesn't bother me but that's not your fault. "

"it's my company, my pr, therefore it's my fault."

"No. That's not how this works my love. Your not defined by the actions of your company, you're trying your best and I appreciate everything that you're doing for us but I won't let you take the blame for this. You did not do this, do you hear me?"

She weakly nodded at your words and you just pull her even closer, leaving no space between the two of you, "I love you An Yujin, I love you in a way I never thought was possible until I met you."

"I told them I couldn't do it, it would've felt like I was cheating on you. They weren't pleased by that and told me it would have consequences if I didn't, Alex called at that moment and I just knew. I knew starship would not let me come out any time soon. I don't care what happens, I want to tell people about us. I want to be able to talk about you, about our relationship and how happy you've made me in these past few months. "

"I understand your frustration but let's not make an impulsive decision. Let's think about it and if you still want to tell everyone about us in two weeks we will."

"you promise?" She looks up at you with the most captivating eyes, even though you hate the fact that she cried it made her eyes even more beautiful.

"I promise." you kissed her forehead and cuddled up for the night. You had some doubts about going public, it wouldn't harm your career but it had the potential to damage yujin's. Sure her fans were 90% all female but that didn't mean they would all accept it. No matter how accepting most idols were and spoke up about lgbtq+ rights, you knew it was still a very conservative country. If this is something she really wants to do then you won't stand in the way of it but you had to be sure this wasn't a decision she made lightly.

Previous | masterlist | next

#ahn yujin smau #ahn yujin x reader #an yujin x reader #yujin imagines #ahn yujin x fem reader

[sally-mun]

OKAY GUYS I NEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOKI FOR A MINUTE BEFORE I CUT MY FUCKING HEAD OFF

Okay I've been losing my mind about this since last week, and with the new episode coming out tonight and SOMEONE still not up to date on episodes so I can have a proper nerd session (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU FUCKER), I'm just going to explode here if y'all don't mind. I probably shouldn't have to say this, but obviously, SPOILERS AHEAD WATCH THE DAMN SERIES FIRST JUST DO IT

So I've had a lot to go off the deep end about now that this show is FINALLY fucking back, but the last episode ended on an extremely gnarly cliffhanger. To be specific, now that Miss Minutes is jilted and has decided to flip on He Who Remains, she cryptically mentions to Renslayer that she knows a pretty big secret about her, but if she tells her, it's going to make her really mad. Honestly, the main reason I find this so intriguing isn't just the inherent mystery of wanting to know what Miss Minutes is going to say; it's moreso just me wondering, what could POSSIBLY upset Renslayer any more than she already has been since the Time Keepers were outed as fakes? The stakes are already pretty fucking high, and from her POV she's got to forge ahead alone because no one else gets it and thus they won't help her. It'd have to be something MAJOR on a scale we haven't even approached yet to derail her from all that. So I brainstormed it in the shower a few days ago, because I get bored while having to wash my hair 82 times, and I had a VERY INTERESTING THOUGHT:

What if Renslayer is ALSO a Loki?

BECAUSE I MEAN... YEAH THAT'D MAKE HER PRETTY FUCKING MAD. RENSLAYER HATES LOKIS. SHE HATES THAT MOBIUS KEEPS CHOOSING TO TRUST AND WORK WITH OUR LOKI INSTEAD OF HER. SHE HATES THAT SYLVIE'S BEEN RUNNING AMOK AND CAUSING HER PROBLEMS FOR ALL THESE YEARS. RENSLAYER ABSOLUTELY CAN'T STAND LOKIS.

And unfortunately I IMMEDIATELY ruined this idea for myself because we know that Renslayer isn't a Loki. At the very end of season 1, B-15 lured some of the other hunters to Renslayer's place on the timeline to prove to them that they're all variants. We got to see for ourselves that Renslayer's just a normal person like the rest of us. She works in a school, and if I'm not mistaken she's the principal. Unless she lived in a VERY different version of Asgard, she's not a Loki.

BUT THAT'S WHY I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO COME APART AT THE SEAMS. At this point I don't care WHAT the new ep tonight is about to reveal, because I feel like finding out that Renslayer is also a Loki is SO MUCH BETTER than anything else they could possibly say at this point. Honestly, it would explain just about EVERYTHING we've seen so far -- about both Renslayer herself, and about the TVA in general. In her case, revealing that she's actually a Loki would go hand-in-hand with her attitude and habits. She enjoys her position of power and authority, even keeping trophies of her victories, and makes no secret about looking down on those she feels are beneath her. She unshakably believes that she NEEDS to be in charge in order for things to run properly, and that things fall apart without her. You might even say that Renslayer ruling the TVA makes life easier on everyone else... aka, EXACTLY the reason Loki's always given for wanting to rule Earth.

As for the TVA itself, I would've loved the idea that Lokis are just especially well-suited to work there, and that the majority of the staff there are Loki variants. That would explain why our Loki was so easy to recruit, and why he's been doing such a good job despite knowing the least of the main cast! What if Loki was right all along, and he IS "burdened with glorious purpose" -- and this is it? What if Loki has always been uniquely qualified to take on this responsibility? It's definitely a burden, it's definitely a purpose, and depending on his arrogance level he could definitely find glory in it. Lokis being the best candidates to handle this kind of burden could very well be WHY our Loki and Sylvie were chosen for the mantle by He Who Remains. As he pointed out during their discussion in S1E6, he paved the road for them. He made sure they'd make it to his citadel, because he wanted them.

Besides, it would make SO much sense for the majority of TVA employees to be Lokis because Mobius specifically points out that they pick up WAY more Loki variants than almost anyone else. That means they'd have a VERY, VERY LARGE POOL of potential recruits at any given time! It's also been proven that the staff's memories have been manipulated at least twice, so there's no reason for anyone to notice that they've accumulated so many Lokis over the years. There also wouldn't be much opportunity for them to accidentally find out, either, because we know that Loki's magic DOES NOT WORK AT THE TVA. The vast majority of TVA workers never leave there, so they'd have no chance of accidentally awakening any of their magic -- and those that do leave, such as the hunters, spend very little time actually down on the timeline. They show up, arrest the variant, set a reset charge, and get out. Even though they'd have the opportunity to accidentally perform some magic, it's very unlikely that it would've ever come up.

What makes me like the idea even more is that EVERY variant of Loki we've ever seen so far (minus Gator Loki, I suppose) has had black hair. That's one thing that has NEVER changed despite the circumstances; we haven't seen a ginger Loki, for example. All the Lokis we saw during the briefing in S1E2, and all the variants we saw in S1E5, have had black hair to the extent that we could actually see it. (Yes, this includes Sylvie, because we know her hair is dyed. In her flashback to when she was first arrested, she had long black hair.) You know who else has black hair? Almost ALL of the main characters that we know at the TVA! Renslayer, B-15, Casey, and OB all have black hair. Mobius' hair is white, but might it have been black back in the day? Who knows! It could have been! We don't know that it wasn't! And guess who else also has black hair? He Who Remains. Was he a Loki too? No idea! Maybe it's just a coincidence. Maybe it wasn't!

I don't know, I guess I'm just so stuck on this idea because it would just be SO frickin on-point with the very premise of the series. The idea of "what makes a Loki a Loki?" has already been explored a bit in S1E3, and this would be a great way to dial that discussion up to 11. If everyone turns out to be a Loki variant, well, now we have TONS of data on what it means to be a Loki! Plus, imagine the implications that has just for the TITLE of the show! We all thought it was called "Loki" because we're following the story of the Loki we've always known, but it'd have been an amazing reveal to show that it's moreso about Loki as a concept. The twist that the series name itself isn't necessarily about the protagonist would've been a pretty serious mindfuck to me!

I also like this idea because I've heard the complaint about the show that it, allegedly, really has very little to do with Loki in particular and is moreso about the TVA, with the argument that it could've been ANY Marvel character used as the protagonist. The complaint is that it only stars Loki because he has such a strong fan following and it's all just, effectively, fan service. Let me just say right now that I was never much of a fan of Loki as a character until this series, so I'm not campaigning for it out of personal preference. I've always genuinely believed that this show could only have worked with Loki as the protagonist, for reasons I'm not going to rant about in this post. My greater point is, revealing that the TVA is crawling with Lokis BECAUSE Lokis are the best ones for the job would just go to show that this series WAS always about him, and could ONLY have been about him. It would've been a great rebuttal to what Renslayer said to him in court in the first episode, when she told him "It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was." Plot twist, it IS his story, and it ALWAYS was!

And it's KILLING ME that the series is undoubtedly NOT going in this direction and now I feel like I'm grieving the episodes we'll never have alskdjFLKSJE;KesKSJFDLSLEi I'm just imagining Renslayer finding out she's a Loki, being VERY UPSET ABOUT IT but eventually getting past it, and then rediscovering her skills with magic. How fucking cool would it have been to see Renslayer going full Norse God against our team?? What if she was especially proficient, to the extent that our Loki realizes he's outmatched? What if the other TVA characters had to rediscover their own lost magic skills, and the only way to succeed was to be their true selves -- to be Lokis -- so they could work together with their different magic specialties? What if that was how they got Sylvie to work with them again, because realizing that they're the same might instill a little bit of trust -- especially since learning to trust and see herself in others would be a step in fulfilling her character arc?

Siiiiggggghhhhh. One day in fanfiction, maybe.

#Loki #god this is seriously doing my head in #I predicted I was going to be absolutely insufferable this month AND BOY WAS I RIGHT

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

Lexy's Christmas Sleepover!! (Attempt #3)

Hello, everyone!!!! It's that time of year again!!! Now, I know that in the past two years, I haven't been very reliable at getting out my Christmas requests, and I greatly apologize for this. But in previous years, I've also tried to make myself write a bunch of full length one-shots which for me usually means 3k+ words, SO, this year, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I can't guarantee a full length one-shot on every single request, BUT I will at least write a drabble for any requests sent to me this year!! I can guarantee this for sure!!!

NOW, Since I'm a multi-shipper, I will write for mannyyyyy different ships in each of my fandoms and it would take awhile to list every single one of them, SO, instead, I'm going to list each of my current fandoms that I'm comfortable writing for and then you can send me either a ship or a character you'd like a reader insert fic for. Poly ships, platonic ships, and platonic/family groups are perfectly okay as well!!! If you happen to send me a ship or character that I'm not comfortable writing for, for any reason, then I'll let you know, but I doubt that will happen, tbh. So, without further ado, here are the fandoms and prompts!!

[Some of the dialogue prompts I'm using came from this list]

When requesting, please tell me: Fandom + Group/Ship/Character + Reader Gender (If Needed) + At least 1 Prompt (I will accept multiple!). You may request as many as you'd like!!

Duration:

11/28/23 - 12/31/23

KNY/Demon Slayer

Fandoms:

Seven Deadly Sins

Four Knights Of The Apocalypse

Miraculous Ladybug

Riverdale

Bungo Stray Dogs

Marvel

The Vampire Diaries

The Originals

Legacies

Legend of Zelda (Mainly BOTW + TOTK)

Stranger Things

Supernatural

Scenarios:

MHA/BNHA

1.) Decorating The Tree

2.) Dancing In The Snow

3.) Present Shopping

4.) Gift Giving

5.) Wrapping Gifts

6.) Making A Gingerbread House

7.) Gingerbread House Competition

8.) Snowball Fight

9.) Sledding

10.) Mistletoe

11.) Christmas Baking

12.) Christmas Market

13.) Making Snowmen

14.) Christmas Party

15.) Watching Christmas Movies

16.) Dancing To Christmas Music

17.) Going Ice Skating

18.) Christmas Dinner

19.) Making Christmas Dinner

20.) Fake Dating For Christmas Ball

21.) Secret Santa

22.) Both Reaching For The Last Cookie

23.) Making Christmas Decorations

24.) Christmas Carolling

25.) Decorating The House/Apartment

26.) School Winter Dance

27.) Christmas Office Party

28.) Stranded On Christmas Eve

29.) Christmas Drinks

30.) Christmas Photo Shoot

31.) Christmas Tree Farm

32.) Cookies For Santa

33.) Christmas Dress Up

34.) Fireplace Snuggles

35.) Accidental Christmas/Eve Confession

36.) Winter Walk

Dialogue:

A.) “Stop trying to get me to walk under the mistletoe.”

B.) "That should be our Christmas card this year.”

C.) “Why’d you turn the music off?”

D.) “I know we said no presents this year but…”

E.) “I hate Christmas shopping.” - “I love Christmas shopping!”

F.) “Do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?”

G.) “What do you think? Like the tree?”

H.) “Open your stocking!”

I.) “It’s snowing!”

J.) “What are you doing?” - “Making a snow angel.”

K.) “Do people even use nutcrackers?”

L.) “Do you still believe in Santa?”

M.) “You’d make a cute elf.”

N.) “Look! Reindeers!”

O.) “Is that supposed to be a snowman?”

P.) “Do you have any carrots?”

Q.) “This is the best gift you could’ve given me.”

R.) “You have snow on your eyelashes, looks cute.”

S.) “Come here by the fire.”

T.) “Please don’t make me wear this, I look ridiculous.”

U.) “You’ve really made my Christmas this year.”

V.) “I thought you were going home for Christmas.” - “Well, I couldn’t leave you all alone.”

W.) “I’m never letting you convince me to go carolling again.”

X.) “Here, you can have one of my gloves.”

Y.) “What are you wearing?”

Z.) “Did you get us matching pyjamas?”

AA.) “You look so beautiful in the snow.”

BB.) “It’s bold of you to assume I haven’t eaten my entire advent calendar.”

CC.) “Christmas hot chocolate is not normal hot chocolate. Where are the marshmallows?”

DD.) “Smell this candle, it’s amazing.”

EE.) “Aren’t you going to write your letter to Santa?”

FF.) “I’ll let you sit on my knee.”

GG.) “You’re my Christmas angel.” - “Wow that was…intense.” - “Just take the compliment.”

HH.) “But I wanted to be Santa this year!”

II.) “Did you make me a tinsel crown?”

JJ.) “I can’t get the star on, would you give me a hand?”

KK.) “Looks like you’ve had a few drinks!” - “You haven’t had enough if you’re noticing. Come on, bar’s over there.”

LL.) “Will you make me a hot chocolate?” - “Name all the reindeer and I will.”

MM.) "I've never understood the tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve. Why would anyone do that?"

NN.) "I've hid all of your presents where you'll never find them." - "They're under your/our bed, aren't they?"

OO.) "Someone ate Santa's cookies last night and it wasn't me."

PP.) "It's Christmas Time!" - "Oh god."

QQ.) "In the name of Christmas Spirit, I demand you come with me."

RR.) "You know what that means?" - "Christmas?" - "Christmas."

#purple_strxnger #riverdale #4kota #loz #loz botw #loz totk #sds #7ds #nnt #4koa #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #stranger things #marvel #mcu #the vampire diaries #tvd #tvdverse #the originals #tvdu #legacies #cw legacies #mlb #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #bsd #bungou stray dogs #christmas sleepover #writing sleepover

[theelderhazelnut]

OC Interview

A huge thank you to @black-dragon-posting for tagging me <3

Tagging: @vivilovespink @darialovesstuff @bar10du @huepazu @scentedcandleibex @confidentandgood @aliyaaaepel3 @loverofthewindgod @ninibear3000 @roofgeese @orbitinytheworld @krysta-cross @loreoflemons @detectivelokis @captastra @zoetheneko @isabellawaites

Ombra impatiently checked the white clock hanged on the wall. "How long is this going to take?" She asked the interviewer while maintaining a flat face.

"Not more than fifteen minutes." The interviewer observed the pile of papers in his hands, grinning widely at the thoughts racing in his head. "This documentary is going to be very much different from the previous ones we produced."

"How come?"

"You will soon find out, Miss Ombra." The interviewer gestured to the cameramen. "Cameras? Okay, Let's begin!"

Basics

"Name?"

"Are you asking for my real name? It's Golnaz. And my last is Zomorodian"

"Are you single?"

"No, I am currently in a relationship with one of the most powerful sorcerers among the realms." An uncontrollable toothy smile appeared on her lips.

"Are you happy?"

"I try to be. But uh-" Ombra slightly frowned. "I have to be. This is the least I can do in order to not make my life a literal hell."

"Are you angry?"

Ombra drops her head, letting out a silent smirk. "Only plants are not angry."

"Are your parents still married?"

Ombra nodded a "yes".

9 Facts

"Birth place?"

"Hamedan, Iran. You can read it thoroughly from my eyes."

"Hair color?"

"Do I really need to say this?" She took a wavy strand of her lose ponytail to the front and continued. "Dark brown. You may think it's black, but it reveals its true color under the sunlight."

"Eye color?"

Ombra wrinkled her lips in slight annoyance. "Chocolate brown. Very much dark as well. But it changes. If I utilize an enormous amount of my Metalrealmer energy, it changes to cyber yellow."

"Birthday?"

"November twenty sixth."

"Mood?"

"At this moment? Well, curious I think. Curious to know what happens at the end."

"Gender?"

"I'm half-female half-neutral. I do feel totally neutral sometimes." She paused for a moment then continued. "Do I have to elaborate?"

"Summer or Winter?"

Her eyes brightened. "That's a tough question. Eh...I prefer both. I don't know. The fresh air and the longer days in Summer hypes up my mood."

"Morning or Afternoon?"

"Definitely afternoon. Every single living thing falls in a relaxing silence in that time. And it's just me running around in the base." Ombra let out a soft chuckle.

Eight Things About Your Love Life

"Are you in love?"

"Yes, I am. With myself. No no no, I won't deny that, but yes. I am in love with another person."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"No. If you feel totally attached to someone in the very first sight, and all of a sudden crave them desperately, you are undoubtedly mentally ill."

"Who ended your last relationship?"

"There wasn't any."

"Have ever broken someone's heart?"

Ombra nodded in agreement. "And I have zero regrets. Of course, I'm not sure how many times I did because, well, maybe some of them were unintentional."

"Are you afraid of commitments?"

"Only when it's about Quan Chi, I guess. Not being to fulfill my promises to him is an absolute nightmare. I don't want to be a fake manipulator."

"Have you hugged someone within the last week?"

"As far as I remember I only hugged Quan Chi. But please don't be afraid if you want to hug me." She calls to no one.

"Have you ever had a secret admirer?"

"I'm not sure if this counts, but I'm gonna say Quan Chi. He did nothing a secret admirer would do." She shrugged. "But still."

"Have you ever broken your own heart?"

"This sounds weird, but no. It isn't easy to break my heart. You must be something so precious to me to be able to do that." She leant her chin on her palm. "I'm not saying that I'm not precious to myself."

Six Choices

"Love or Lust?"

"Both."

"Lemonade or Iced tea?"

"I choose iced tea. It tastes more like water, and responses to my thirst perfectly."

"Cats or dogs?"

"You have no idea what kittens can do to me."

"A few best friends or many regular friends?"

"I am not so professional in taking care of acquaintances, so the answer is obvious."

"Wild night out or romantic night in?"

"It entirely depends on my mood and physical energy. A wild night out with Quan Chi is literally a life-death situation which requires great physical energy. Sadly, I use most of that energy at work, so it's a romantic relaxing night in ninety percent of the time."

"Day or night?"

"My preference changes all the time about this. I'm not going to give you a firm answer."

Four Have You Evers

"Been caught sneaking out?"

"When I was a child, home was the safest place for me, so I technically had no reason to sneak out. But as an adult? No."

"Fallen down/up the stairs?"

"I'm always careful." Ombra lowered her tone to almost a whisper. "But I'm secretly afraid of it ever happening."

"Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?"

"Not someone. Something."

"Wanted to disappear?"

"Yes and no."

Four Preferences

"Smile or eyes?"

"Eyes tell a different story. It way harder to fake your eyes movements and the truth behind them than faking your smile." She shrugged. "Also they're more beautiful."

"Shorter or taller?"

"You mean my own height? Well, of course, taller. Much taller."

"Intelligence or attraction?"

"Intelligence can also bring about attraction. In fact, intelligence can bring about almost anything, so I think attraction is not enough on its own."

"Hook-up or relationship?"

"It's disgusting to me to touch someone who I just met, so I say relationships, obviously."

Family

"Do you and your family get along?"

Ombra nodded. "I was lucky that I was born in a functional family."

"Would you say you have a messed-up life?"

Ombra frowned, staring at the distance. "Depending on how you look at it, I do have a chaotic life, but it's no "messed up". However, it's on the edge of it, and it only requires a snap of my finger."

"Have you ever run away from home?"

"Not from the building of my home, but I did technically run away from my country. To survive."

"Have you ever gotten kicked out?"

"My family love me. No matter what I do." A bitter smile curved her lips.

Friends

"Do you secretly hate one of your friends?"

"What kind of a question is this? Do you intend to expose me?"

"No no! Absolutely not! You can skip this one!"

Ombra's eyes darkened. "I don't. I can't stand keeping someone I despise so close to me."

"Do you consider all your friends good friends?"

"I deliberate before choosing them."

"Who is your best friends?"

"There's three of them. My sister, Quan Chi and Menace." (@vivilovespink)

"Who knows everything about you?"

"My sister and Quan Chi. Menace knows too much, too." She chuckled lightly. "It's just that he's the last best friend I found, so we need more time. Y'know, not everything can be told."

"That should be it. Thank you for giving us your time, Miss Ombra."

"You're welcome." She responded, and watched the three men leave the room as they chatted cheerfully. "This show's gonna definitely rock it!"

#ombra the ironhead #mk oc #mortal kombat oc #quan chi #menace (oc) #deadlyiron #tag game #this was so fun!