#at least i can pinpoint my big two stressors aggravating anxiety and stress into extremes

[bluubard]

"Am I just tired or do my friends hate me" is a real fuckin mood, lads. A real hard real loud mood right now.

Except like. Continuously. For like a week with no end. I'm so exhausted. I'm tired. I'm ... sad? Idk. Numb.

I really fucking need a hug.

I need a hug and just a lil reassurance or care. Not much. Just... a little.

#at least i can pinpoint my big two stressors aggravating anxiety and stress into extremes #one is being quarantined within quarantine literally until mid november #and being treated like a leper for existing in my own home #its 1000% isolating and extremely... extremely tiring #anxiety exacerbating it does not help. paranoia does not help. emotional exhaustion... does not help. #i had a literal emotional breakdown last night. #and it was... bad. i got myself through it but... pbbh. #havent told anyone about it bc why would i bother somebody with that? #people dont have the time or energy to put up with me for long #and number two anyway lol #is that i have slept. a cumulative 2-4 hours MAX a night for the last week and a half #i really hope they call about that sleep study soon because i cant do this shit anymore #my body is just giving up and my mental health is taking the violent brunt of it #i feel.... i dont know. its NOT good. #but im also really highkey afraid to reach out to people for reassurance that they like #idfk know. like me? actually want to be around me or spend time with me?? #it gets fucking annoying after a while and people dont have the time or care to put up with it #and it sounds clingy. it sounds needy. it sounds shitty like i need to be babysat #i dont. this time has been hard on everyone and not just me #but it HAS been hard on *me* too #people just dont... see it? care? #i just...... need a little reassurance #an emotional hug if you will #maybe its annoying #but a little reassurance like... #you matter. its okay. i care about you. #that my time and existence is valuable to people #aw fuck. ive fucking made myself cry again #i dont expect it... but it would be nice