#at least not on their behalf. i always talked about how it was affecting me......

[myfictionaldreams]

Winter Soup // Mafia!Stucky x F!Reader

Summary: There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?

Requested by: @senjoritanana​​ thank you so much, I hope you enjoy all the angst!

A/N: PSA I don't know the specifics of how poisons work and didn't want to risk it on my google history lmao so please ignore any inaccuracies. Please read the tags if you're affected by near death experiences, please proceed with caution and if I've missed any tags/warnings, please let me know!

Warnings/Tags: 18+ readers only, hints of smut, angst (LOTS BUCKLE UP), fluff, polyamory relationship, poisoning, blood and injury, anxiety, crying, begging, near death expierences, reader is injured, pain, emotional hurt/comfort, hospitalization, protective Steve Bucky and Sam, everyone needs a hug tbh

Words: 7.7k

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The warmer months were slowly starting to shift into winter and for some reason this year, the weather change was beginning to affect your health. You’d heard of the phrase ‘seasonal depression’ but you were convinced that it was due to the cooler weather that was making you feel this rubbish.

It had been happening for a week now, and some days you’d feel fine, normal in fact but then others your chest felt so tight as if an elephant was sitting on top of you, nausea, vertigo and heart palpations that would have you clutching your chest with fear you might explode. With each passing day, you would be praying for the summer months to return, especially as the snow and ice increased with intensity outside of your home.

You were fine for the most part, good days and bad; yes you might be getting worse with each passing day but you were adamant that the seasonal illness would pass. However, the frosty weather was also a minor blessing because it was your excuse to stay home and be a pretty housewife for Steve and Bucky. Being able to stay home made it easier to keep the illness to yourself as well, it was a busy time within the Rogers mafia and you didn’t need them wasting their time fretting over your wellness when they had a lot of other things to do. They had many international deals that were so close to being signed for and contracted that every waking hour was spent at the office, on phone calls, and emails, trying to talk to locals across the world to attend meetings on their behalf so the boys were thoroughly busy.

There were a few occasions you’d attended with them to the office if you were feeling particularly needy or lonely but it unnerved you to drive on the snow and ice so when you suggested that you might stay at home, Steve and Bucky offered no complaints.

At home at least you were able to mop about, trying to perk yourself up with movies, pyjamas and your favourite bowl of warm soup. Over the last few months, you’d been trying to improve your cooking skills, especially to impress Steve who usually cooked for three of you. This became more interesting as the colder months drew in over Brooklyn as this meant you could cook more homely, hearty foods such as soups and stews, especially as you had recipe suggestions from the newly hired grounds guard Rafael.

He’d been recommended by a friend of a friend for Steve to hire which was perfect timing because the last grounds guard had retired. There were a few occasions when he was the guard to bring the post to the front door from the front gate and you soon found he was enthusiastic and easy to talk to, even though he was a little bit older, which was how you found out he had previously been a chef and offered to give you recipe ideas. As winter drew in, Rafael began turning up when he knew you were by yourself to deliver some of his momma’s family recipe soups, hoping that the meal would perk you up which it did, they tasted so delicious that you were secretly hoping he would keep bringing them to you, especially as you continued to feel unwell.

“What is it today?”, you asked voice full of hope and trying to sound as upbeat as possible. Even though you were desperately holding onto the door handle as your head was spinning and scared you’d fall over.

“Potato and leek soup and they’re all grown in my back yard so hopefully you’ll love it even more than usual”, Rafael smiled as he handed over the container, his smile broad and causing the aged creases at the corner of his eyes to deepen.

Gleefully you accepted the soup, opening the lid slightly to smell the delicious meal, your stomach grumbling with hunger. Your appetite had reduced significantly over the last few days due to always feeling nauseous however it seemed the only thing that you could stomach was his delicious meals and therefore his arrival was always welcomed.

“Thank you so much! Please will you let me pay you this time? You’re being way too kind to me, always giving me free meals, you’re going above and beyond a usual guard”, you pleaded whilst also having to return holding onto the door handle as it felt like the ground was moving with your dizziness.

Rafael held up his hands and shook his head, taking a step back, “Absolutely not! Just wanted to give you something to make you feel better and make the fairies go away”.

The guard halted, a look of embarrassment passing out his features as he realised what he just said, especially as you asked, “Fairies?”

He awkwardly looked down at his shoes, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to explain, “Yeah it’s just something my momma use to say. If we were feeling unwell, it’s because the fairies had crept into our stomachs and were being naughty and making us ill and now I’ve said it out loud to another person I’ve realised how insane that sounds so I’m going to stop talking”.

You squeezed your lips together to try and contain your laughter but that lasted a moment before you were both laughing which only turned into you losing your balance against the door and swaying to keep yourself upright. The laughter died in Rafael’s eyes as he reached out to you, “Woah, you ok, Ma’am?”

Quickly brushing him off, you took a step back into your home, trying to ask nonchalantly about the situation, “Yeah sorry, probably just the fairies pushing me over”. Your joke didn’t seem to comfort him in any way as he continued to look uneased by your appearance.

Thankfully Rafael didn’t push the situation any further, seeing that you wanted to escape back into the comfort of your home, he took his step back with a simple smile. “Get back inside before you catch another cold from this snow. Eat the soup whilst it’s still warm and I’ll be back tomorrow to hear the verdict on the taste.”

“Thank you Rafael! Enjoy the rest of your day!”. You waved him off and rushed to slam the door, sliding down to the floor against the wood, losing all energy that you’d built that morning just for that one conversation. Ok yes, you were feeling sorry for yourself as you tried to catch your breath, heart pounding violently in your chest that it also echoed in your ears and your vision was still seeing double of everything.

However your stomach continued to gurgle with hunger so without wasting any more energy, you opened the lid and ate the entire contents then and there. Releasing a satisfied sigh at the delicious meal, you took another couple of minutes to gather your senses before dragging yourself over to the living room, collapsing onto your back on the couch and letting sleep take you into a dreamless realm.

A violent shake of your shoulders by a hard grip on your shoulder was what startled you awake as Sam’s voice then surrounded you as he shouted, “Hey! Wake up!”.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever been close to hating you Sam Wilson”, you croaked before coughs shattered your chest, rocking your body as you tried to sit up and suck in any air between the painful coughs. Finally, you calmed down enough to collapse back against the decorative cushions of the couch and open your eyes to look at the three Sam’s that hovered over you. After a couple more blinks, they merged into one, very distressed-looking bodyguard, eyebrows knitted together and jaw muscle clenched harshly.

Sam reached towards your face, pressing against your cheek in concern, “Why didn’t you tell me you were ill?”

“What? I’m not ill, I’m just tired, can’t a girl nap around here?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying to look as relaxed as possible. 

The man didn’t look convinced as he sat on the edge of the couch next to you. Releasing a heavy sigh which only twinged something in your chest that made you want to cough but you refrained from doing so as you emphasised, “Sam seriously, I’m fine”.

Sam gave you another serious glance, eyes hardening as he explained, “You didn’t sound fine, you were wheezing so hard in your sleep I thought you were going to stop breathing”.

There was no denying the panic that filled your heart and would explain the tightened feeling in your chest but you tried to not let the fear show on your face as you rolled your eyes, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

“I appreciate your concern Sam, but I feel ok, I’m just tired, I was probably just sleeping in a weird position and look, no wheeze now!” Taking a deep breath to show there was no more noise coming from your chest, however, it didn’t seem to comfort him in any way.

“Yeah well you’re still looking peaky and why are you so tired all the time recently, you’re never usually like this”.

“It’s probably just the cold weather or something. If I start to feel unwell, you know I’d tell you. I’m a big baby when I’m ill, you’ll be the first to know”. Sam looked to be contemplating believing you and all you were silently begging for was that he didn’t call Steve and Bucky, they just didn’t need this stress right now. Even though it was in his contract to call them at any sign of injury or illness but as Sam looked at you, other than looking tired, you seemed to be fine and still joking with him. Finally, he gave you a simple nod and you couldn't hold back the thankful sigh. “Do you mind if I go back to sleep for a little while longer or do you need me for anything?”

“You’ve been sleeping a lot recently”, he stated his earlier point again.

“What, so I’m not allowed to nap now?” you teased him with a subtle smile, hoping to crack his worried exterior. It only half worked as he shook his head to himself, standing up and pulling the fluffy blanket that had been left behind you on the couch and throwing it over your body. Before you could even thank him though, sleep had stolen you back into its resting state. 

Sleeping for a few more hours, Sam was nowhere to be seen but he usually liked to check the perimeter ever so often and speak to the other guards so you weren’t worried about his whereabouts. As you shuffled to the kitchen, you couldn’t tell if you felt any worse or better after all the sleeping, haven’t wasted another day feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to snap out of it by glancing through the refrigerator and cupboards and deciding to ssurpriseSteve and Bucky with a romantic meal.

The house was soon filled with delicious scents of sweet and savoury as you’d baked and were in the process of cooking their dinner. You were in your own little world and had only stumbled a handful of times with dizziness and the headache that was building was currently mild in comparison to others you had, it was fine you determined to yourself

Still lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t even heard the front door open as you were suddenly enveloped by a muscular chest and arms, a smile aching your cheeks as you nuzzled back into Steve’s body. His lips danced over your cheek and down your neck as he held you close, the roughness of his beard comforting. “I didn’t hear you come in”, you commented, turning your head slightly to chase after his lips, sighing deeply in your chest as he held you tighter for a second, hands dipping beneath your shirt at your waist so that he could feel the warmth of your skin.

“I did shout”, he revealed whilst moving back to neck, not to kiss but just to smell you in, his body almost melting into the floor as he felt at home with the familiar scents. “I’ve missed you”, he whispered against your skin.

Goosebumps instantly flooded over your body as you shivered, turning in his arms to hug him properly, your fingers scratching through his hair that was beginning to curl at the ends where he’d allowed it to grow out over the winter months. “I’ve missed you too”, you whispered against his lips, lazily kissing and breathing each other in.

“Come with us tomorrow, I want you to be near me”, he admits with words that were making you cling to him harder.

You wanted to say yes and the word was on the tip of your tongue but then your thoughts drifted to the soup coming. “I’ve got a delivery coming that I can’t miss, I’m sorry”.

“The guards can get the delivery”, he counters.

“It’s fresh soup I want it whilst it’s hot”, an embarrassed smile finds its way to your lips as he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he just enjoyed the moment of the two of you being together.

“Soup? But we could order that to the office if you wanted it, you know that’s no issue”. 

You pout dramatically, hanging off his neck as you whisper with a childish tone, “But it won’t be the soup that I’ve ordered and want”.

Steve rolls his eyes but you know he's being playful, he could never find a reason to be upset with you. Rolling back his shoulders, he stands back to his full height, opening his eyes to cup your cheek with his massive hand but this was when he took you in and a frown dawned on his face just like it had on Sam’s. “Are you feeling ok?” The hand on your cheek moved towards your forehead, expecting to feel a temperature but it felt normal.

“I feel great”, you say with as much cheer in your tone as possible, still holding onto his neck but mostly because another wave of dizziness had rushed through you and you needed some support to stay standing.

Steve didn’t seem convinced, “You just … look a little off”.

You playfully rolled your eyes, similar to how he had just done, “Wow thanks Steve”.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that”.

“I know, I’m joking, I’m fine - really, it's nothing to worry about”. He eyes you and doesn’t fall for your grin so you tried your next trick up your sleeve. Leaning on your tip toes whilst pulling his face closer, you whispered against his lips, “I love you, Stevie”.

The tension momentarily eased from his shoulders as his grip around you tightened, “I love you too”.

“Sorry to interrupt your love fest but I want my own loving”, Bucky broadly announced from the entrance of the kitchen where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes however as you pulled back from Steve and he could finally see your face, the happiness seeped from his face. “Woah, what happened? Are you ok?”

You gave a frustrated huff, finally releasing Steve’s neck as you pointed in the direction of the decorated table. “Right, both of you go and sit down before I decide you don’t deserve any food for being mean”.

Steve shuffled away first as you continued to cook the food, Bucky looking ashamed as he came over and kissed your cheek but before he could pull away, you quickly captured his lips in a kiss to show you’d been playing before and weren’t upset.

“Why are there only two plates on the table?”  Steve questioned as he took a seat.

Without looking over your shoulder at him, you casually answered, “I’ve already had mine, I wasn’t sure when you were both going to be home and I didn’t want to wait”. They both seemed to accept your lie and you happily sat with them as they ate, asking about how the deals were going. They both seemed to be agreed that they were sure to have contracts signed tomorrow and had even been able to pay off some of the international police so that shipping of the goods could occur. In truth, after the soup, you were not feeling at all remotely hungry and even the smell of the cooked food had turned your stomach over.

A couple of hours later, the three of you were preparing for bed. Steve is in the middle and you are to his right and Bucky is to his left. You and the mafia boss had been kissing deeply for a couple of minutes, his hands beneath your shirt, brushing against your breasts, rough fingertips peaking your nipples as you ground down on his thigh. You were soaked and he could feel the evidence of it as you weren’t wearing any underwear but the longer the touches and kisses went on for, the more you were feeling unwell.

As his teeth tugged on your bottom lip and he began to trail open-mouthed kisses over your jaw and down your throat, you noticed Bucky was doing the same thing but to Steve’s neck from behind. However, there were two Bucky’s instead of one as your vision swayed and it felt as if you were on a water bed with how unsteady you felt. The headache was close to a full-blown migraine as well now which only continued to make you feel nauseous so even though there was nothing more you wanted than to continue where this intimacy was leading but, for once, you had to stop it.

“Wait, just- just one moment”, you pushed against Steve's shoulders at the same time. The blonde's hold on you loosened as he moved his face back to look into your eyes but you’d closed them, trying to hide your face from him and Bucky who had also sat up further to check on you. “I just- sorry I’m tired and I… I’m not sure- sorry.. I don’t think-”.

Steve’s fingers tipped your chin up to look at him as he smiled softly down at you, “If you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. If you’re tired then I’ll just hold you close, ok? Please don’t apologise for not wanting any of this”.

You relaxed in his arms, feeling grateful for him but also bad that you could feel how aroused he was against your stomach. “Thank you. I’m just feeling so tired today. Please don’t let me stop you both, continue without me, I just want to go to sleep”.

“You don’t have to give us reasons why you don’t want to do it, baby, we’ll do whatever you want to do. Me and Buck don’t have to fuck if you want to be held, I don’t want you thinking we’re neglecting you”.

Affection and love warmed your heart as you kissed Steve’s lips and then reached over his shoulder to kiss Bucky. “I love you both but seriously please continue, I like watching you both anyway so that’ll satisfy me enough if I’m not asleep by that point anyway”.

They both gave their love back to you with praises and pecks to your face before rolling away from you and beginning their exploration of each other's bodies. You watched with a smile on your face for a couple of moments and your core ached with need but as a burst of pain pounded through your temple, your eyes shut automatically to help ease the pain and from there, they never opened again as sleep took you soon after.

The next morning, your migraine had gone but your entire body felt weak and drained of any energy. Steve and Bucky took one look at you and determined that they’d be working from home, wishing to remain near you but they still needed the comfort of their home office upstairs whereas you remained downstairs, pretending to watch TV.

Somehow, you had continued to hide your seasonal illness, they just thought you still looked peaky. Today was the worst you’d felt so far, even having to use the wall as support whilst walking around the home, silently coughing into cushions so that the boys wouldn’t hear upstairs and this only increased the sharp pain shooting through your chest.

At lunchtime, Sam came over to visit and found you at the table in the kitchen, head lying against the table top as you dipped in and out of sleep. You were too tired to even pretend to joke and thankfully for once he didn’t pester you with being unwell, especially knowing Steve and Bucky were home, he assumed they had seen how bad you were so he just sat next to you at the table, easing his hand under your head so you had some comfort against the hard surface.

Soon after, Rafael knocked on the front door with your soup delivery. Usually h,e would stay at the door, never coming into your home but Sam insisted that he come out of the cold and deliver the soup to you in person.

“Yay!” you croaked, reaching out for the warm container, seeing the soup within and seeing that it was a deep red colour today, possibly tomato.

“I didn’t know you cooked, Rafael”, Sam noted, taking his seat next to yours once more as the new guard stayed standing at the head of the table. Other than Natasha, Sam was the lead of the security and guards and technically Rafael’s boss.

“Oh yeah, he used to be a chef”, you explained to Sam, whilst opening the lid of the container, smelling the delicious food and confirming your theory that it was tomato soup.

“Chef? I didn’t know you worked as a chef”, Sam remarked with a frown, eyeing Rafael with confusion as he’d been the one to complete the job interview and didn’t remember seeing chef on his CV.

Rafael casually shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhat tense at the questioning but still forced a smile to his face to please his boss. “I didn’t think it was relevant to the job, to be honest”.

“We’ll have to get you on the bbq when the weather perks up, maybe that’ll stop the arguments between Steve and Bucky”, Sam mused over the thought.

You tried to chuckle but the exhaustion had you slumping against the table as you mumbled, “I feel like shit”.

Sam tensed next to you, “Maybe we should call a doctor. You know, I’m surprised Steve and Bucky aren’t down here right now looking after you, do they even know how bad you’re feeling today?”

“Wait, they’re both here?” Rafael asked Sam but he ignored him, his focus solely on you.

Once again you’re too tired to think of an answer and shrug your shoulders, turning your head to look up at Rafael, “I think the fairies like me too much”.

“Fairies?”, Sam questions thinking that you’d become delirious.

You smile genuinely to Sam, reaching to tap his shoulder, “Inside joke Sam, keep up”.

There was no further discussion of fairies as more hacking coughs ripped through you. It took a couple of moments and Sam rushed to get you a glass of water before you slumped back against the table in exhaustion.

“Why don’t you have the soup and then see how you’re feeling later? Maybe the rest is all you need”, Rafael suggested, filling the silence with his voice.

You couldn’t see it but Sam gave his employee a scathing look, “Rest is all she’s been doing. I’m calling the doc and then I’m going upstairs to tell Steve and Bucky”.

“Aren’t they busy?” Rafael continued to question Sam. “I’ve heard they’ve got that deal coming up from Italy and France, they might appreciate it if you wait a little bit before calling Doctors”.

Sam’s voice was quiet and stern but you were too tired to notice. “That’s not common knowledge, how do you know that?”.

Massaging your temples with the pounding thuds that hadn’t stopped since your coughing fit, you decided that Rafael was right, usually sleep made you feel better. Reaching for the soup one more, you opened the container as you addressed your bodyguard, “he’s right Sam. I just need today for all the work stuff to be over and then I’ll call the doctor. The boys don’t need any distractions, especially today, one more day isn’t going to kill me”.

Sam didn’t look happy as you began to idly sip on the thick, delicious soup. As you thanked Rafael for the meal, Sam finally looked back to him, his frown deep and unmoving as he asked, “Don’t you have work to do?”

Rafael’s spine straightened, “Oh yeah, right. Sorry, sir” and with that, he left to return to work.

“You don’t have to be so bossy you know, he’s just trying to help”, you tried to reason with Sam.

However, your friend ignored you and moved to hold your hand to pull your attention away from the meal and towards him. “I’m giving you until the evening, wait no- if you get any worse before the evening, I am calling the Doc, no arguments, understand?”

“Yes sir”, you say with a little salute.

Finishing your soup, your boyfriends finally came downstairs and you attempted to straighten your posture and plaster a fake smile on your face. Bucky paused in the entryway, sniffing the air and asking, “What’s that smell, I know it's from somewhere but can’t put my finger on it”.

“Is it my soup?” you say, trying to stand up and act like the floor was spinning beneath you.

“No, it’s not that”, he pondered, still looking around and trying to smell whatever he recognised but couldn’t pick it up again. Steve and Bucky both walked past you, kissing the back of your head as you casually explained that you were going to lie down for a little bit. “Wait, let me come with you-”, Bucky started but you held out your hand to stop him.

“You’ve got a busy time at work and I’ve got Sammy boy here anyway so you two continue with your work and we’ll have a nice evening in, Ok?”

“Yes Ma’am”, he mutters before continuing to make his lunch. It wasn’t often that he listened to your instructions but both men were so busy and overwhelmed with work and the consequences that could come from it all that they were all over the place.

The next hour passed by slowly and you didn’t manage to sleep even for a moment because your symptoms were making you feel so awful. You were wheezing so bad that each breath felt like you were suffocating, your eyes began to roll with how much the room was spinning and a violent tremble rocked through your entire body, you didn’t feel right, something was wrong and it was beginning to scare you.

“Sam?” your voice was nothing more than a rasping whisper but he still was able to hear you from where he had been on the phone with the doctor from across the room, having noticed your deterioration in health. He was kneeling by your side in a couple of broad steps, the phone balancing between his cheek and shoulder as he rested a hand on your temple, feeling your spiked temperature. “I don’t feel good”, you admitted, voice full of terror before more coughs ruptured through your chest, leaving you struggling to breathe.

“Steve! Bucky get down here right now!”

“No… no, I just need to sleep”, the fear had disappeared from your voice as you wished for the exhaustion to take you completely, hoping that in sleep you wouldn't feel the pain destroying your insides.

“Hey! No!  Don’t go t sleep, need you to stay awake for me, Doctor Banner is on his way but you can’t go to sleep”, Sam urgently tapped your face, rousing you from the sleep as Bucky had all but jumped down the entire flight of stairs at the shouting.

“What’s going on- What the fuck? Doll?” he replaced where Sam was so that he could continue to explain to the doctor what was happening.

“I’m just not feeling ok, it’s fine Bucky go back to work”, you were somewhat delirious, still not really opening your eyes but leaning into the coldness from Bucky’s hand as he cupped your face. Bucky looked to Sam for answers, his eyes bright and alert with fury and worry.

When Sam shrugged his shoulders, not having any answer as to why you were suddenly so unwell, Bucky quickly turned back to you and assessed your deteriorating health and noticed just how laboured your breathing had become. As he spoke, it was with surprising gentleness but still held authority, “I need you to take a deep breath for me, honey, I want you to try and fill your lungs with air”.

“I’m trying, it’s just seasonal illness, it’ll be ok”.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks, not letting go of your face but just moving in closer.

“It’s just seasonal”, your words began to slur as you became incoherent.

Steve finally descended the stairs with just as much purpose as Bucky as he demanded to know what was going on but Bucky couldn’t answer him as he continued to talk to you and keep you awake. “It’s not seasonal, you’re not breathing properly, it’s not-”. Bucky was leaning so close that he was able to smell your breath and he froze, it looked like he now wasn’t even breathing.

“What is it Bucky?” Steve demanded, kneeling next to him and reaching over to take your hand but also feel your pulse, which only made his own increase with worry.

Bucky leans closer and smells your mouth again, so close that you tried to move away as his nose nudged your lips. “What did you eat?” Bucky asked in a tone that forced your eyes to open with concern.

“Huh? Um just my soup”, you say whilst blinking quickly as he still wouldn’t come into focus.

“Soup? Where is it? Where’s the container?” before you could answer, he was on his feet and running into the kitchen as Steve continued to demand answers from his boyfriend, his hand now moving from your wrist to directly over your heart, continuing to count the beats.

Bucky cursed so violently that it actually made you shrink into the cushions but the movement only made you cough more and chest tighten as you struggled to breathe. He returned to the room, his face a deathly white and green shade as he uttered just one word: “Hemlock”.

There was just one brief second where not a body in the room breathed or even moved, one single second to process the poison that Bucky had spoken, the planet that he only knew about because of his time as the Winter Soldier and using it on his target. The poison that he could now smell on your breath, that originated from your container of soup.

It was Sam to speak first, Sam to snap the two men out of their frozen states as he gave the orders from Doctor Banner who had heard the word over the phone. “We need to get her to a hospital right now”.

Steve picked you up, and his entire body began to tremble with adrenaline and fear as no one even stopped to properly dress for the snow outside, only putting their shoes on before rushing to the car. Sam thankfully was able to use the adrenaline to remain headstrong as he climbed into the driver’s side of the car so that Steve and Bucky could both hold you in the back seats and try and keep you awake.

You were lying with your head in Steve’s lap with your body lying across Bucky’s as they clamped their arms around you as makeshift seatbelts. You had heard the word that Bucky had said and even though you knew what it was, you didn’t want to believe it, even as you continued to feel worse. “It’s not poison, it’s just soup”.

However, those words triggered something within your throat and once more you were coughing so hard that you thought you were going to vomit and cringed as metallic warmth filled your mouth and leaked out of the corner of your lips.

You slumped onto Steve and Bucky, head lulling back but Steve was quick to grab your face, tapping it and forcing you to stay awake, “Baby don’t go to sleep! Please stay awake for me! Stay with us, we’ll be at the hospital soon, I promise”.

You were scared, even though you were half-conscious, you were terrified now realising the severity of the situation, knowing that you were coughing up blood which was now soaking the front of Steve’s shirt and hearing how panicked your boyfriends were only made it worse. Through all the scary, dangerous times in your life, they always remained calm and in control but now they were both frantic and frightened. 

As all three men continued to plead with you to stay awake, you forced yourself to open your eyes, only allowing yourself the luxury of blinking occasionally as you kept looking into Steve’s ocean-blue eyes. With his body and face so close to yours, you used him to ground you in the situation, trying to copy his breathing which had slowed since you’d opened your eyes; ignoring the pain from the breaths and resisting the urges to cough even though blood continued to fill your mouth.

“Am I going to die?” you whisper, not being able to ignore the questions now in the back of your mind anymore.

Steve’s breath hitched for a second before he tried to confidently whisper, “No, you’re not going to die”.

You didn’t believe him, especially as the trip to the hospital was delayed by the snow, every second feeling like it could be your worse, you didn’t want it to end like this.

“I love you.”

“You’re going to be ok, just keep looking at Steve, keep breathing”, Bucky pleaded, squeezing your freezing cold hand.

“Please, just say it back”, your voice was hardly audible anymore as your mouth was so full of blood.

“Stop talking and save your energy for when you’re feeling better”, Bucky tried to keep his composure but you knew he was close to snapping.

Your breaths were wet and laboured, wheezing so violently it rattled and echoed around the car but you still managed to plead, “Say it back-”.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me, baby”. Steve snapped first, his eyes were wide, fearful and yet beautiful with how stark the blue was as his eyes filled with tears, leaking down his cheek and into his beard.

You were thankful, for both of them, for everything and you wish you could have told them, wishing that you could have heard Bucky’s own declaration of love and adoration for you but the pounding of your heartbeat became so loud in your head that you couldn’t hear anything anymore.

But you continued to hold on, never once looking away from those pretty eyes of Steve’s as Sam finally screeched to a halt outside of the hospital. Once more, Steve carried you and there was a flurry of people in different coloured scrubs suddenly surrounding you as you were placed onto a cold bed.

One moment you were staring into Steve’s eyes and the next you were looking up at a stranger and the comfort you’d once felt, the thing that was grounding you to life was now gone and you couldn’t find him again, no matter how much you moved on the bed, even as the strangers poked and prodded at your body until you couldn’t deal with it anymore and finally closed your eyes.

Do you ever have those naps where you wake up and forget where you are, or what time or day it is? That was currently how you felt except the added sensation of floating encompassed your body as well. The only sort of normality felt throughout your body was a cool feminine hand stroking across your temple in a soothing, repetitive manner.

Your toes wiggled firstly and then your eyes behind your eyelids and even though you knew who was stroking your forehead, you still croakily asked, “Steve? Bucky?”

“It’s just me Sugar” Natasha sounded calm and peaceful as her fingers didn’t stop with their soothing motions. “The boys are going to be so pissed that you’re awake before they’ve got back”.

You huff and dared to open your eyes, grunting at the brightness of the room but thankfully your eyes adjusted and only one, still, Natasha smiled down at you. Seeing that you weren’t going to vomit or freak out, Natasha sat back in her chair, moving to hold onto your hand to give you some comfort. “You gave us a real scare”.

You thought back to everything that happened, some of it was a blur but most of it still played through your mind like a horror movie that you couldn’t look away from or escape. “Was I really poisoned?”

There was one thing that you appreciated about Natasha and that was her blunt honesty, not one to ever sugarcoat her words, “You were”.

“But… But how? I mean… the soup, Rafael, he wouldn’t-”. You stopped yourself talking, trying to envision all the interactions you’d had with him but only one thing repeated through your thoughts: Don’t trust anyone. That was one of the first rules Steve had taught you. “I don’t understand why? He seemed so nice to me, is his name even Rafael? Was everything a lie?”

“That’s what they’re just finding out. Apparently, the friend of a friend rouse was made up including his credentials, usually, our background checks are very thorough but he had some help to slip through the cracks”.

“Do you know what help he had? Who it was, I mean?”

Natasha for once seemed to think before she spoke which unnerved you, knowing that whoever’s name she spoke next wouldn’t be good news.

The monitor displaying your heartbeat began to beep as it increased with the dread that was settling through your body.

“All signs are currently pointing to Pierce”.

Your eyes closed as you tried to remember how to breathe. You knew about Alexander Pierce. Everyone did. He was ruthless and had plenty of finances and power to pay for his success but not only this, he had been one of the top employees of Hydra and usually in charge of the Winter Soldier. So yes, you all knew a lot about Alexander Pierce and his name was one to send fear through any of those involved in the Rogers mafia, even Steve.

As you opened your eyes again to look at Natasha, you could tell she wanted to tell you more but was holding the information to not panic you further but you needed to know. “Please just tell me whatever it is you’re not telling me”.

“We think he paid this guy to come and spy on Steve and Bbucky and it seems he put his sights on you. Specifically.. Because you’re their biggest weakness and it seemed like everyone knows that”.

Your face warmed with fear and anger, as fear prickled the corner of your eyes, “So what, now I’m not even safe in my own home?”

“That’s not-” Tasha began to lean forward in her seat but another voice cut her off.

“No, you weren’t safe in your own home”. Steve stood at your hospital room door, dressed casually in a black shirt and jeans, looking nothing out of the ordinary but his face was wrath of calm and anger. Your eyes snapped from him to Bucky who had looked just as serious but as your eyes connected with his, the hard lines of his face smoothed out into a weak smile.

The two of them step into the room as Natasha stands, informing everyone that she’d give us some space and guard the door.

You’re trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, to keep them from slipping and cascading down your cheeks, not wanting your boyfriends to feel any more guilt but as you took a deep breath in, a sob erupts through you and you can’t keep the emotions back anymore.

You attempted to hide your face with your hands, even with the added difficulty of having tubes and wires attached to the backs of your hands and the tips of your fingers. The realities of everything that had happened began to destroy any hope that you had. You’d nearly died, in your own home where you were supposed to be most safe.

Steve and Bucky sat on either side of your hospital bed, moving silently as they always did and with careful ease, gently took a hand each and pried them away from your face, stroking away any tears that continued to escape.

“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know… It’s a lot”, you tried to give reason for your crying, even though it was unnecessary. Bucky tilted your face towards him, his voice was so soft and caring that it nearly made you sob with how careful he was being with you, “Don’t apologise for crying, I tell you this all the time, Doll”.

You offered him a wet giggle, taking a few deep breaths before rambling on with your anxiety, “I bet I look like a right mess right now, I don’t even know how long I’ve been asleep for”.

They let you calm yourself down before Steve praises with his low captivating voice, “You always look beautiful, no matter how much snot is on your face”. He smiles as he manages to make you laugh before he turned serious, “It’s been 5 days, baby”.

Your face drops, “5… I’ve been asleep for 5 days?!”

“You passed out when we arrived and when they could finally stop the bleeding you-”

“Bleeding?” you questioned, remembering you were bleeding from the mouth but it didn’t seem like that much.

“The poison you’d ingested that day was a higher dose and caused internal bleeding. After they were able to stabilise you, they needed to detox you from the poison and make sure your body was healing so it was safe to keep you asleep”.

You tried to process everything that Steve had told you, it felt confusing for you to have been through so much and yet feel such little pain in your body.

As if reading your mind, Bucky once again captivated your attention as he asked, “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

“No I’m not in any pain but I feel wrong like my body is floating in the water or something”.

“That might be due to the medications that they’ve got you on, they’re pretty strong Sweetheart”, his pet name helped to calm your disorientated mind, clinging on to the familiarity and focusing on the way both of their hands were holding yours and stroking tiny circles in your skin,

“Did you get the answers you wanted, from Rafael, or whatever his name is”.

Steve and Bucky shared a glance between each other but Steve decided to be the one to answer. “We got the answers, it was as Nat was explaining. Pierce wanted someone in the gang, spying and getting as close to us as possible and I guess they somehow managed to weasel their way in and tried to succeed with their plan to hit our weak spot”.

You took a deep breath to try and reduce the rising anxiety in the pit of your stomach before asking tentatively, “So what happens now? With Pierce I mean.”

“That’s a problem for another time, just need you to get better first”, Bucky interjected, lifting your hand to kiss the few fingers that were attached with clips or wires.

You tried to smile at him, wanting him to know how much you appreciate him but the feeling never met your eyes and this seemed to twist something in Steve and Bucky. Both of their demeanours changed, no longer were you looking at just your boyfriends but also the mafia boss and his second in command, mixing business with family.

Bucky began talking first, tone strong and husky, “This isn’t something we are taking likely. Sam’s already spent the last day and a half revisiting everyone’s past, making sure there are no other moles that have slipped through the cracks. No new faces are allowed anywhere near our home or you.”

As he spoke, you managed sure to nod your head and try to squeeze his hand in understanding. Steve shifted in his chair, capturing your attention as he continued the discussion. “You are safe and you should have been safe but we let you down, you were vulnerable when we weren’t there to protect you like we promised we would. We let you down, we broke our promise, we could understand if you didn’t want-”.

“Whatever you’re about to say you better forget about it right now”, you say sternly, heartbeat beginning to race on the monitor again as Steve’s mouth shut quickly with a snap. “The idea of being your weakness has always frightened me but, I could also be your greatest strength. I mean - Look at what you’ve been going just to protect the house, to protect me. I know you feel like you’ve let me down but I don’t feel let down in any way. Yes, of course, what’s happened is scary, especially in our home but I doubt it’ll ever happen again. They can try and tear us apart, they can try, but they won’t break us, they can’t break us. We have to remain on top ok? I always feel safe and trusted when I’,m with you both so please, don’t ever feel like I'm not because I am. I’ll always love you both, I’m not going anywhere”.

You sucked in air greedily after your short speech, the building emotions spilling freely everything you truly believed to the men beside you, not wishing for them to ever feel doubt for the relationship or how you felt.

Looking between them both, your heart sank as you noticed Bucky quickly wipe the corner of his eye. “I thought you said no more tears”, you spoke softly whilst trying to wipe away a stray tear.

“That’s before you decided to swoon me with your speech”, he quipped back, the light returning to his eyes once more as you laughed.

“I love you Bucky”.

“I love you, Doll”, standing from his chair, his metal hand stroked over the side of your face as he captured your lips with his, lingering for a few beautiful seconds before sitting back down.

Steve had lifted your hand during your speech and was kissing your palm and you reached out to stroke his beard, “I love you, Steve”.

He too stood, just as Bucky had but he kissed your forehead first, breathing you in for a moment before doing the same against your lips. “I love you too, so much baby”.

As Steve sat back down, your eyes began to feel heavy, all of the strong emotions exhausted you completely. “Will you both be here when I wake up? Not that I’m complaining about Natasha but she doesn’t spoon me like you both do”.

They both chuckle under their breath before Steve promises, “We aren’t going anywhere, sleep, Sweetheart”.

#stucky x reader #stucky smut #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #stucky #bucky x reader #bucky smut #bucky #bucky barnes #marvel smut #mafia au #mafia stucky #mine*

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Baki Shorts: Three’s a Crowd but Four’s a Party

I decided to pick the Wake Up series back up as per Monster anon’s fun request to have a Pickle x reader x Jack. And I thought I should add Hanayama in that mix.

So enjoy!

“Jack is going to be fighting that caveman from the news.” A young man’s voice whispered in (your name)’s ear. The young woman sighed in annoyance.

“I don’t know why that has anything to do with me.” (Your name) responded to Jack’s half brother, Baki. Lately the redhead has been texting and calling her on Jack’s behalf. But to be fair, she did block Jack. She was ready to shut that chapter in her life but Jack wasn’t budging.

The blonde refused to sign the divorce papers and he demanded that she came back home. It’s been a stressful last few weeks.

She saw Kaoru here and there. Kaoru may have been a busy man, but he still made time for her. He’d take her on extravagant dates and sightseeing. Kaoru made her world bright again and she found herself slowly falling for his never ending affections… (your name) enjoyed being spoiled for a change.

But she did try to put in equal effort. She didn’t shy away from his kisses nor when he held her hand under the table during meals. He made her heart race again. (Your name) could really see herself with him, despite him being a few years younger than her.

Despite his career as a crime boss, he was surprisingly soft with her. It wasn’t uncommon for him to lay beside her on his bed with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.. Kaoru didn’t push past her boundaries and was satisfied with small kisses and soft touches. She was surprised with how gentle he was being to her despite his hot pursuit prior. Maybe it had something to do with when she shared with him that she’s never been intimate with anyone before, not even Jack… either way, she was appreciative of Kaoru’s patience.

Kaoru told her that this side of him was specifically reserved for her. It made her feel special… she had wished Jack had reserved this sort of warmth for her… maybe then she wouldn’t be in her early twenties and already getting a divorce (or trying to at least).

(Your name) stretched her arms over her head with a yawn. Should she go see Jack and talk to him? Or should she sleep some more? From the way Baki’s voice sounded, it sounded like Jack needed support. And she knew she still loved him. Some small piece of her would always love Jack.

“(Your name)? Are you still there?” Baki’s voice drew her from her musings. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. She almost lost herself down memory lane there for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m here.” (Your name) softly muttered, she heart a deep breath being taken in by Baki on the other line.

“Look… I don’t know what’s going on between you two but… Jack misses you.” Baki whispered like it was a secret he shouldn’t be sharing. “I know he’s emotionally constipated but he loves you. I-“

“That’s enough, Baki.” (Your name) interrupted Baki with a shaky breath. “I’ll come.”

“Will you? Thank you. I’ll let him know-“

“But this is the only time.” (Your name) replied softly. Yes… one time. This is a one time deal and then she’d be a free woman.

“I understand. Have a good one, (your name).” Baki then hung up the line, which left (your name) to decide whether or not she wanted to tell Kaoru about this.

She decided to text her potential beau of this outing as she slipped on a light jacket over her tank top and shorts. She was sure he’d be understanding once she explained how this may be her only opportunity to get Jack to sign the papers.

(Your name) sent Kaoru a long text with a smile. Maybe once the divorce was finally over with, the two of them could be official? That was a nice thought.

Sadly it was an unrealistic one. Jack wasn’t quite willing to let her go so easily… and neither was his opponent.

.

.

.

(Your name)’s hands covered her mouth at the sight before her. There was blood all over the arena and a slumped over Jack.

A strangled cry escaped her lips from Jack’s appearance. The skin from the lower half of his face was missing as well as many of his teeth.

Without another thought, she ran towards her fallen husband, unaware of the caveman who had spotted her. An amused rumble left his lips, his golden eyes fixated on her.

(Your name)’s hands brushed against Jack’s bare abdomen, tears gathered in her eyes at the sight of him. Jack was decimated by the caveman… he was just barely breathing.

“Jack?” She softly whispered, her eyes glanced at the blood on his fingers. He must have tried puncturing the caveman’s ear drums with his fingers… of course Jack would plan to do something so savage.

A large shadow loomed over her as a growl escaped the chest of Jack’s assailant.

“Get away from her, Pickle!” Baki shouted as she whipped her head around to come face to face with Pickle.

Pickle’s eyes were wide at the tears that streamed down her face, the cave man’s breath hitched. Why did she cry? Was the blonde her mate? He was a terrible mate if he was.

Pickle reached a clawed finger out to try to brush away her tears, his own started to fall from his face. Was she lonely like him?

(Your name)’s eyes widened when Pickle began to cry. Her hands slowly rose up to touch his pretty face, Pickle leaned into her touch with a purr.

He defeated her mate so that made her his. He was stronger so he would be more suitable for her. Or at least that’s what made sense to Pickle.

Pickle put his hands around her body and brought her closer to him, the fetid smell from his mouth almost caused her to hurl. Pickle smelled like something died… and maybe something did inside of his mouth.

She could see bits of skin in his teeth and without a doubt in her mind, she knew it was Jack’s. The horrid sight made her body freeze up like ice. She wasn’t sure what to do, she might be eaten right here…

Pickle brought her head close to his nose, a bit of his drool fell from his mouth and onto the skin of her arm. This was it… she was going to die.

And then Pickle sniffed her with a happy hum of contentment. The caveman then buried his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. She smelled so nice… it wasn’t an overpowering scent but it was delicate. It wasn’t anything Pickle has ever smelled before and he liked it.

Pickle was about to lick her but (your name) shot her arm out to prevent him from being able to touch her more. Her fingers ran through his scalp as she tried to push him back.

A range of excited noises spilled from Pickle’s lips. Did she want to check his hair for bugs? He’d let her!

Pickle put her down and bent down to her level, he cooed at her to continue to pet him. The caveman’s foot bounced each time her small fingers ran through his scalp. This was lovely… he was so happy to have found her.

“It seems Pickle likes her…” Tokugawa muttered to Baki while paramedics took Jack away. “How do we proceed? I don’t know if he’s going to give her back…”

Baki frowned. He hadn’t invited (your name) here to meet Pickle. He wanted her and Jack to work things out… and now he had just made the situation even worse…

“We’ll figure it out.” Baki muttered with a sigh. He really hoped nothing happened to (your name)…

(Your name) noticed how everyone left her to fend for herself with Pickle, but the caveman made no move to release her. It would appear she’d have to be here for awhile…

Pickle growled when she looked away from him a goofy grin on his lips once her attention was fully on him again. He was sure she’d be a good mate. All she needed to do was accept him. He’d protect her from everything.

.

.

.

(Your name) was stuck with Pickle and she had no way of contacting Kaoru to help her out. So she was forced to lay in Pickle’s arms as he rocked her back and forth like a prized possession. Perhaps in his mind, he rightfully won her? She wasn’t sure how Pickle’s mind worked.

She had tried to slip away from him a few times now but he would wail loudly and flail his arms around like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Pickle would not let her leave.

She glanced over to see the familiar figure of Jack begin to approach them in shock. What was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be in the hospital?

She watched Pickle jump up to his feet in shock, the cave man scooped her up in one arm to keep her safe. He had to keep her safe… from the wasp.

Jack made a sound from under his bandage but (your name) couldn’t understand him. His eyes seemed to hold some sort of emotion in them but she didn’t have time to figure out what it was.

Pickle fled from Jack with (your name) held tightly in his arms while Jack gave pursuit.

(Your name) felt like she had another head from how the crowd’s eyes were on her, Pickle, and Jack. Perhaps it was a strange sight to see a prehistoric man that held her in his arm while he ran from a man wrapped in bandages.

Pickle set her down, a loud snarl left his throat as he turned to face Jack. Jack made an incoherent noise, his eyes on her for just a moment.

But his eyes told her exactly what he had tried to say… run. Jack wanted her to run.

Pickle noticed how the two of them looked at each other. The caveman puffed out his chest and growled even louder.

Pickle then sent a punch at Jack that made the blonde spin like a wheel, Jack crashed his head into the ground with a loud smack. The bandages unraveled from his face to reveal the damage.

(Your name) put her hands over her mouth, the tears poured from her eyes. Why was Jack doing this to himself? He was going to die at this rate. She turned her head to look away from the gory sight of Jack’s destroyed face.

She watched as Pickle went to scoop Jack up in his arms, her feet dragged her forward to put her hands on Pickle’s back.

“Please… please don’t.” (Your name) whispered to Pickle who smiled at her. The caveman leaned down and licked her forehead. It was naive of her to believe Pickle could understand her.

She could only watch in horror as Pickle began to scale up the building with Jack in his arm. What was Pickle doing?

(Your name) began to cry even more when Pickle began to tie Jack’s foot to the pole at the top of the building.

With a heavy sigh, she took her chance to run. She didn’t want Jack’s sacrifice to be in vain.

(Your name) ran as fast as she could despite Pickle’s loud wailing. A loud booming noise could be heard as he gave chase to her.

She ran through the crowd to lose her tail. Her heart drummed in her head like a song from a horror movie. She needed to get away from him and fast.

(Your name) dashed down the steps and into the subway. She bolted towards the train, Pickle still hot on her trail.

(Your name) could feel Pickle’s claws snag her jacket and tear it apart but she was able to enter the train at the last second. The doors shut on Pickle, keeping him out.

Pickle whined and wailed while the train sped off, the caveman attempted to chase but the train was too fast. He’s never seen a creature like that from his time but he knew it had eaten his mate… was she okay? It didn’t seem to eat her, but transport her… maybe she’d be in another location?

Pickle cried, his hands held up her jacket to his nose to give it a whiff. A dreamy sigh escaped his lips. Pickle was sure he’d be able to track her down with this.

.

.

.

(Your name) was able to make it home in one piece. The young woman finally able to get back to Kaoru. The yakuza boss answered her call right away.

“I’ll be over as soon as I can. Are you sure you’re alright?” Kaoru asked on the line, his voice filled with concern.

“Just a bit shaken up… and smelly. I feel disgusting.” (Your name) attempted to joke about her experience with Pickle, but Kaoru didn’t laugh. The yakuza was worried Pickle would show up again and hurt her.

“I’ll be there in less than an hour. If you want, you can stay at my place.” From Kaoru’s tone, she knew his brow was furrowed and he was pacing. A smile crawled on her lips at the thought.

“Don’t furrow your brow, you’ll get premature wrinkles.” (Your name) made another attempt to lighten the mood.

“Will you still like me if I’m wrinkly? I’m already scarred.”

“Of course I would, because it’s you.” (Your name) smiled as the two continued to converse.

“I’m happy you’re okay… if Pickle would have done something to you, I don’t know what I’d do…” Kaoru took in a deep breath, the man whispered softly. “I care about you.”

“Do you say all these soft things to all your girls?” (Your name) teased Kaoru for being so soft.

“You’re my only girl so it’s only you.”

(Your name) felt her heart flutter from his words. Kaoru knew what to say to get her flustered.

“I’ll see you soon.” Kaoru muttered. “Don’t answer the door unless you hear three knocks.”

“I won’t, sir.” (Your name) giggled at Kaoru’s huff. “I’ll see you soon, Kaoru.”

(Your name) hung up her phone and made her way to the bathroom for a much needed shower.

A certain caveman sat outside her window, his hands and face pressed up against the glass.

He found her.

#baki the grappler #baki hanma #baki son of ogre #baki x reader #baki the grappler x reader #yandere baki #yandere #yandere fic #yandere imagine #female reader #pickle Baki #Baki #baki kaoru hanayama #grappler baki #baki dou #kaoru hanayama #kaoru hanayama x reader #baki hanayama #hanayama kaoru #jack hanma x reader #jack hanma #baki jack hanma #yandere jack hanma #yandere x reader #baki pickle #pickle x reader #pickle the caveman

[heesdreamer]

IN MY ROOM

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

WARNINGS ➩ none really, unresolved angst and one sided heartbreak

WC ➩ 2.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Normally I don’t write small drabbles but obsessed with this song and wanted to do something for it. No full fic for this or part 2 sorry it’s supposed to hurt! I highly suggest listening while listening or beforehand since it’s fully inspired by the lyrics and vibe

I like when it's dark out, October will cure me

I'm walking these woods, am I thirty or thirteen?

The size of your heart seemed to grow and shrink with the seasons, always fluttering and aching depending on the shade of the trees and sometimes it felt like it got quiet all together.

You figured out a long time ago that the actual shape of it and your anatomy wasn’t changing and instead you were just an over emotional person (if there was such a thing). Your mother blamed it on your father being a writer, saying you inherited his soul and his passion for pouring all of his love into every little thing with the hopes something worth putting to paper would appear in return.

You didn’t write like he did but you did often find yourself overthinking the journey of tree roots and being curious about how building a proper nest weighed on a birds confidence.

It was a lot easier to fall inlove with everything than to tune the world out and that didn’t fall short of affecting the way you interacted with the people around you.

The way you loved your friends wasn’t always romantic but you had a deep connection to all of them and a mental list of all their habits and cute quirks like the way Wonyoung covered her mouth when she laughed hard and the raise of Riki’s eyebrow whenever he was curious about something.

You loved Heeseung in a different way.

Your heart was heavy as you walked through the tree covered trail that led to your house, knowing once you started thinking of him it was nearly impossible to stop.

In your defense, he seemed to have that affect on a lot of people.

There was just something undeniably charged about Heeseung and the way he interacted with the world around him. He was ever confident in a natural way that didn’t have a hint of arrogance and his gentle nature struck you hard the first time you met him when you were 13 and he had just turned 14.

You became close friends after getting partnered for a school project and your heart was soaring when he kept talking to you even after you’d turned in the essay and gotten a low B.

He was bestfriends with basically everybody he interacted with but you couldn’t help feeling special when you kept getting closer and closer and your friendship started to actually hold some weight instead of just having surface level conversations in between class lectures.

The cold fall chill ripped through your sweater right as your mood started to sour and you shook your head free from the thoughts of him or at least as free as you could.

Not asking for much, man, thought maybe you'd call me

I slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me

“He really hasn’t said a single thing to you? Like not even something random and completely unrelated to his absolute betrayal?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed at the dramatic exaggeration of Wonyoung’s statement but she was right to be upset on your behalf considering you had a hard time being mad at him yourself.

Your sigh continued as you rolled onto your back and tugged the phones chord as tight as possible so it reached further on your bed, nearly coming off the wall with how hard you were stretching the old elastic.

“He’s waved at me in the halls but I can’t talk to him.” Your voice was muffled just from how much you didn’t want to admit the extent of which this bothered you.

You weren’t at all exaggerating, you really couldn’t bring yourself to talk to Heeseung ever since he had casually announced on his MySpace that he was now in a relationship with one of your more casual mutual friends. He hadn’t told you beforehand that he even had feelings for her and you felt completely ridiculous for thinking he held you as close to his heart as you did for him.

Even your friend group had been thrown off by the news considering everybody followed the silent understanding that you and him were more than friends.

You’d rolled your eyes the few times they’d brought it up, both in light teasing or genuinely trying to pry and get you to answer their burning questions about your relationship.

You never fulfilled their curiosity for a multitude of reasons but mainly because you had no idea what you and Heeseung were exactly. You liked him more than you’d ever liked somebody in your life and your face turned red whenever you saw him smile or felt his hand brushing against yours under the lunch table but he’d never said anything to you about it.

His feelings might’ve seemed obvious to somebody who didn’t know him, figuring you were dating the second he wrapped his arm around you or ordered your food without checking what you wanted since he already had your preferences memorized.

But that was just who Heeseung was and you were no stranger to that.

He was overly caring and involved with everyone he met and he could make somebody he’d met seconds ago seem like they were best buddies from kindergarten. He definitely had a sweet spot for you but there was no real evidence that it extended past platonic admiration.

You were overwhelmingly glad now you’d never been stupid enough to tell your friends you were together before confirming it considering his abrupt new relationship that completely shattered your view on what you’d been to him.

Clearly you’d misread the signals the entire time and the two of you were just friends but the more you thought about it, the more angry you got. Not at Heeseung because your heart strictly forbid you for ever thinking negatively about the boy but just at the entire situation and the lack of understanding from both sides.

It wasn’t friendly when he stared into your eyes with the waves crashing behind you and your friends laughing somewhere in the distance. Not at all platonic when he was taking your hand in his at the school dance and ignoring the dozens of eyes staring at him, waiting for a turn.

They never got it because he spent the entire night spinning you in his arms and complimenting your dress and hair.

You weren’t confused when he laid in your bed after his parents threw a fit about his new piercing, his head on your stomach and his voice a whisper when he told you that you were the only person who understood him.

“You’re my person and I’ve never felt like that with anybody before so it freaks me out sometimes.” His eyes didn’t stray from the blank spot on your ceiling and yours stayed locked on the bruise forming around the new piece of middle inside his eyebrow. “I couldn’t think of anybody else I wanted to run to.”

“Is that a bad thing? Wanting to come to me?” Your fingers smoothed over the piercing and he winced a little because of how fresh it was but you didn’t move your touch away, just lessening the pressure you were applying.

“It’s only bad because how much it consumes me sometimes.”

You didn’t ask him to explain what he had meant that day because you figured you knew but apparently you were somehow wrong.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” Your friends voice over the line was bringing you back to reality and you assured her you hadn’t left before asking her to repeat whatever it is she had said. “I said that he was totally wrong to do that to you, we all think so.”

For some reason the thought of your friends seeing the same thing as you didn’t make you feel any better.

It actually made you want to curl into a ball ten times worse because you couldn’t blame it on your rose colored glasses if the closest people to you also felt like something was blossoming between the two of you. Your confusion in his abrupt relationship only made you feel sicker and sicker.

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

I stalk myself on the internet just to see what you'll find

I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time

You make it look so easy, leaving everything behind

Two weeks had passed since Heeseung posted the photo of him and Aubrey with his relationship status being changed right afterwards, glaring harshly at you on your home computers wavering screen.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you studied his expression underneath the grainy edgy filter he applied to it, eyes tracing the squint of his eyes as he smiled brightly and her lips pressed against his cheeks.

He looked happy and that somehow made you feel even sicker.

You wondered if he hadn’t told you about it because he feared your reaction or if he possibly couldn’t bring himself to silently end whatever it was that you felt towards each other. It hurt more than it might’ve a few years ago because you’d finally begun to feel like the two of you were on the same page, managing to be mutually single and interested at the same moment for the first time in all your years of pining.

A dozen near misses were finally leading to something big and concrete.

Or at least you thought so until you logged onto your MySpace account and saw his post, the same one you were glaring at now.

You hadn’t posted anything since you cut off communication with him but you couldn’t help yourself from checking your page and scrolling down it, curious if he’d be concerned over your silence if he ever went to see what you’d been doing with his absence. Maybe he hoped you’d be posting sad song lyrics or actively breaking down on his feed but instead you’d gone completely cold.

It was the only option in your mind considering you never were able to be normal when it came to Heeseung.

The sight of his hoodie on your bed or his left over guitar picks and crumbled up pieces of paper with random doodles scattered around your room was enough to bring you to tears and settle a sick feeling in your gut so you couldn’t imagine trying to sit and type out a post that would read as normal. Perfectly fine and not obsessing over who your friend was dating.

You told yourself that you were mainly caught up on the specifics of it because he hadn’t bothered to tell you about it.

It was worse to find out from a simple post over him sitting you down and letting you know but instead your entire world crumpled with every comment and heart from people who didn’t know him outside of passing him in the halls.

They didn’t know him during those late nights and they didn’t know the way his heart beat harder whenever you brushed your fingers through his hair or met his eyes in a crowded room. The faceless usernames had no idea there was somebody out there absolutely shattering at this simple ‘in a relationship’ post.

You groaned into your hands and shut the computer down without bothering to close his blogs tab, knowing you’d be opening it first thing tomorrow regardless.

You look so cool getting high

No handlebars, you wanna fly

You look so cool, I wanna die

Is it too soon to say what on my mind?

“Hope you brought some bandaids.” His voice was wobbly as he circled around you and you laughed softly at his clear fearfulness, the sound muffled by the straw of your slushy that was clutched between your knees.

“For when you inevitably eat shit?”

He laughed at your bluntness and the action almost caused him to do exactly that, the bike wheel rapidly twisted on the rugged gravel and nearly sending him straight into the rocky parking lot he was currently riding handless around.

One of his hands was occupied with his own extra large slushy from the gas station near you and the other was holding a small joint that was nearly smoked out of existence. You had hated when Heeseung started to smoke and you spent the last few years complaining about the smell of his clothes and scolding you when he left the scent on your pillows.

You’d never tell him that you slowly got used to it, almost liking it as it blended easily with his signature cologne and his naturally aroma that you found yourself leaning into whenever you had a few feet between you.

He rarely smoked infront of you once he realized you genuinely didn’t like it and you were just nagging at him but today was the exception.

Heeseung had turned eighteen today and while your friends had begged and begged him to either throw a party or let them do it in his honor, he had strongly declined. You had been confused considering he was shy to partying and it would definitely be one of the bigger events of the year with how many people would love to gather and get drunk in the honor of Heeseung.

Your confusion was lost when he wrapped himself around your back, arms circling your middle and casually telling your friends he’d rather spend the night hanging out with you like it didn’t completely uproot your existence whenever he said things like that.

You didn’t even doubt the honesty of his answer, genuinely knowing he had more fun in this dirty parking lot with cheap slushees and your company than he would’ve at a huge rager.

“What do I get if I don’t fall?” He was smiling at you as he rounded back into your point of view but he was behind you again before he could see the way your own lips turned up. “Doesn’t that call for a prize?”

“A prize? What would you want?” You watched his eyebrows raised like he was in deep thought and you laughed at the absurdity of him disappearing back behind you as he continued to ride his bikes in circles around you. You didn’t like riding bikes as much as he did but last summer he’d painted a pair of pegs pink for you, sticking them to his otherwise blacked out frame and smiling proudly.

It was something you’d rolled your eyes at and you’d given him a quick thankful kiss on the cheek but you secretly loved standing behind him as he rode you around, hands on his shoulders and the wind blowing through your hair.

You especially loved how happy he was to show you that he’d done it, something that would make you more comfortable when you rode together.

He was humming like he was deep in thought and you waited patiently with your chin resting in your hand, smile bright on your face at his theatrical responses.

“If I don’t fall…. you let me stay at your place tonight.”

Your heart was already starting to beat out of your chest at the soft request and the way his voice got lower like he was waiting for you to reject him. Both of your reactions were ridiculous considering he’d spent the night at your house dozens of times and was over more than he went home but he always asked beforehand.

Something you liked because then it always gave you the opportunity to tell him that he was welcomed.

“I figured that was the plan anyways.” You took a large drink of your slushy after letting the words fall out more casual than you felt and he pressed on the brakes when he was in front of you this time, a wide smile still on his face and genuine easiness radiating off of him.

“You sure know how to make a birthday special.” He was so beautiful when he said that and the way he looked at you made you feel like he genuinely meant what he was saying even if he was just making a joke about your rather simple nature.

Telling him you love him was heavy on your mind and even heavier on your tongue and it took almost everything inside of you not to just blurt it out and accept the brute force of whatever his reaction might be without any preparation. You wanted him to know that his birthday was special, you needed him to know that you loved him and that you wanted to spend every year like this no matter how old you got.

Instead you took another sip of your slushy and let him ride around you until his tire gave out and he was landing on the gravel with a laugh that inspired your own.

You hadn’t know then that you were currently experiencing his birthday with the two of you for the last time and you wondered now if you would have told him back then if you had known. Would it have made a difference or was he always fated to leave?

Did your love story really end with a simple post from his end and the smell of smoke ever fading from the smooth fabric of your pillow cases or was this all some large twisted joke from the universe, one last test of your affection towards each other before you finally stopped nearly missing.

You tried your best to stop thinking about it and him and all the little things he’d left in your room.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #heeseung au #enhypen au #heeseung fic #lee heeseung #Spotify

[mumms-the-word]

Shadow Curse Events Pt. 1

Ketheric, Selûne, Shar, and Aylin

I’ve played through the game a few times at this point and I always find myself struggling to understand the timeline or at least order of events that occurred with the Shadow Curse. I know some things conflict because there was one version of the story in Early Access (the version where Halsin accidentally killed Isobel) and it was heavily altered for the final version of the game, and some things just got *gestures vaguely* waved away, but I keep wanting to make sense of it anyway.

So that’s what this post (edit: I mean series) is going to do. After the cut, obviously. Long deep dive post ahead! Picture of a tired Ketheric for attention and because same bro c':

TLDR: These events happen either in the 1370s or the 1390s. Ketheric loses Melodia (his wife) and Isobel (his daughter) and turns to Shar. He captures Aylin, then builds a Big Dark Justiciar Army, training them and forcing them to kill Aylin over and over. Meanwhile, a Selûnite resistance is brewing in the town, and it's kind of making everything worse. One Selûnite rebel even goes so far as to make a deal with a devil. And all of that is BEFORE the Harpers and druids arrive as an army.

We don’t have dates, unfortunately, aside from knowing that the shadow curse itself was unleashed about a century ago, so “timeline” would be a loose term to use if/when I use it. But I have two theories about when it happened.

One theory is that because the Spellplague was happening between 1385-1395 DR (during which there was neither a true Weave nor a Shadow Weave, which is what the shadow curse is made of), the shadow curse likely started around 1396-1399, just shy of a full 100 years before the game’s events in 1492. But that’s just me conjecturing based on the idea that if the Shadow Weave is gone…how does the shadow curse stick around? 

The other theory is that the shadow curse was unleashed sometime between 1371 and 1374. This is because a) Dark Justiciars were still being sent by Ketheric Thorm to destroy Moonhaven (the Blighted Village) in 1371 (Ketheric writes a letter about attacking Moonhave and a journal dated 1371 boasts that Ilyn Toth, the basement apothecary-necromancer dude, got killed by Dark Justiciars) and b) because Khelben Arunsun himself, the literal Blackstaff (super powerful and very old wizard), wrote a letter negotiating surrender on behalf of the Harpers.

We cannot be party to the suffering of the people of Reithwin, and indeed, of the great loss of life that this war will visit upon the Sword Coast - and, perhaps, beyond it. So it is written, and so let it be done, Khelben Arunsun, on behalf of the High Harper Council and its allies.

Wiki says Khelben broke his alliance with the Harpers in 1370 due to some disagreements, but it’s possible his splinter faction was at the battlefield with the other Harpers. I doubt he was there personally, but who knows. I wouldn’t go any earlier than 1371, though, because Baldur’s Gate II happens in 1369, and Jaheira would have been too busy dealing with those events to deal with Ketheric too. But it can’t be later than 1374,  because Khelben Arunsun dies in 1374.

(I have questions about how the shadow curse survived the Spellplague and the loss of the Shadow Weave, but the answer to that could simply be All Magic Was Weird and Unstable at the time…plus Thaniel was already in the Shadowfell by this time, so the land couldn't heal.)

So it’s either 1371-1374 (because of the Khelben timeline, and I guess the Spellplague didn’t affect it) or it’s 1396-1399 (because of the Spellplague, but the writers just forgot Khelben was dead by that point, or maybe his ghost wrote the surrender notice idk). Both are good enough for Halsin and Jaheira to talk about things happening “a century ago,” but you can see why I’m avoiding dates.

But let’s push it back a few more decades. Back when Ketheric was a Selûnite and Isobel a very small child.

As we’re probably all well aware, during this time, Ketheric worships Selûne along with his wife, Melodia. At some point, he even commissions the local Mason’s Guild to build Moonrise as a testament to Selûne herself, according to Morfred the mason (who you can talk to in House of Hope, it’s pretty cool). Ketheric and Melodia have Isobel, but then Melodia dies while Isobel is still pretty young. Ketheric remains a Selûnite, mostly for Isobel’s sake, until she dies too.

Ketheric: I’ll tell you a story, True Soul. About a man who sold himself piece by piece. He had…everything. A wonderful wife. A brilliant daughter. They lived not far from here. His wife died too young. Grief tore through their home like a thief, snatching away the scent of her hair, the rustle of her skirts. But the man did not break. He could not break. His daughter needed him whole, after all. She grew up—grew strong. Challenged him. Filled his heart with such joy it supplanted all sorrow. When she was killed, the man…he tried to remain whole, but it wasn’t possible. Do you understand? Player: So the man fell to pieces. Ketheric: The pain was unbearable. All-consuming. He decided he’d do anything for reprieve. First, he sold himself to the goddess of loss. But the pain did not subside, no matter his obscene feats of devotion. Then a new god came—a god who promised the man something wonderful: his daughter. Her life returned. Imagine it. He would have to give everything: his body and soul entire. He did not hesitate. Not for a moment.

We know this story. Ketheric turns to Shar and everything goes Very, Very Badly. But the exact details/order of Ketheric's Sharran days are a little hazy. So here's what I've been able to piece together to sate my own curiosity.

While Ketheric is still a faithful (but waning) Selûnite, Dame Aylin visits as an emissary of Selûne. Moonrise/Reithwin is a Selûnite refuge and the Thorms are allegedly devout favorites of the moon goddess, so it's a big deal. While she's there, she and Isobel fall in love. Ketheric disapproves, in part because Aylin is immortal and Isobel is not (Isobel and Aylin both say this in dialogue).

Plus, and this is a personal opinion, I think Ketheric might have seen Aylin's interest in Isobel as another thing Selûne was trying to take from him. It isn't enough that Selûne let Melodia die, now her daughter is trying to woo his daughter and take her too.

But then Isobel dies. Somehow. The launch version of the game isn’t clear how. Aylin mourns but Ketheric spirals. He turns to Shar, hoping she will force him to forget about Isobel, but he doesn't. Nevertheless, he becomes a zealous Sharran.

[A journal spanning years, beginning with the birth of a child and ending with what appears to be a series of dateless tragedies.] How can she be gone? Where did she go? The Moonmaiden cannot be so unfeeling - so cruel. Not toward her most devoted servant. Not after Melodia. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. I won't survive it. That much I know. Forgetting is the only possibility. The embrace of oblivion. The reprieve of nothingness. It would not be possible for a man to survive knowing what he knows. Knowing what can be lost. Shar understands that. Hers is the only mercy I can comprehend. My mind is full of holes - yet not enough. The emptiness. The time. The nothingness. And still I remember. Still I remember it all. There is no mercy in this beating heart. There is no mercy in life at all.

He builds the Gauntlet of Shar (or maybe renovates and Shar-ifies it, maybe it was already there) beneath the Thorm mausoleum, connecting it to the much more ancient Grymforge area. Grymforge becomes a kind of base or stronghold for the Justiciar army while the Gauntlet is designed to test their mettle and prepare them for the task that will make them official Dark Justiciars—killing Aylin, though it's not clear when Ketheric and Balthazar lure her into the Shadowfell.

I'll get back to that later.

We know that Grymforge was used as a Dark Justiciar stronghold and possible training ground because of all the Sharran stuff we find there. It's like super obvious. The feasthall room, the dormitories, the weapons that lay everywhere. There's basically a whole Sharran city in the Underdark beneath and near Reithwin, some of which we can see from various points in Grymforge. In fact, if you go through the poisoned room where Nere is, you can see the Gauntlet down below.

(It's a little hard to see here 'cause I play on console but there's a glimpse of the giant Shar statue that takes up a ton of space in the Gauntlet. Somehow, the two places used to connect.)

Ketheric's new Sharran teachings are ruthless and vicious. He encourages his Dark Justiciars to kill a Selûnite once a tenday or more as part of their training and service to the Lady of Loss.

The Law of Nightfall: From the moon falls the foulest of lights. iIt peeks through cracks and fissures, illuminating the most remote recesses of the Underdark. Light bestows hope, a pernicious notion which must be extinguished. At the darkest hour, pray to your Lady and feast in Her honour. The second day after, slay a disciple of Selûne. If none may be found, a Lathanderian or Mystran are an acceptable offering. Do this once a tenday, and the Lady of Loss shall know you.

Reithwin and the surrounding village soon become a hunting ground. Most people convert. Those who don't get hung in the square as examples (according to a shadow memory). All faithful Selûnites are forced to practice their devotion to the Moonmaiden in secret, led by Morfred the mason and his brother Halfred the innkeeper of Last Light Inn. Halfred hides Selûnite relics beneath Last Light (you can still find them) while Morfred plots a true resistance.

[Hidden amidst columns detailing the income and expenditure of a tavern is an aside, written in tiny, urgent handwriting.] I have concealed the sacred relics of our revered goddess in the darkest corner of this place. Morfred, my loyal brother, seeks to forge a network of allies to stand against the oppressive reign of Ketheric Thorm. Sadly, fear has gripped the hearts of many, turning them away from our cause. I cannot truly blame them, for trepidation fills my soul as well - but I must put aside my own fears and reunite with Morfred in the bowels of the Mason's Guild. Together, we shall preserve what we can of the Moonmaiden's light, and hope that the banners of the faithful soon rise against that treacherous dog, Thorm.

But as time goes on, Morfred grows increasingly distressed with the events happening in Reithwin and the ease with which people are eager to switch faiths.

- How quickly things change. The Thorms are Selûnite through and through - or so I believed. Perhaps Ketheric only converted for Melodia, and with her death - and then his daughter's - his faith died too. But to turn to Shar? It beggars belief. - Ketheric's Justiciars are growing greater in number, and more determined to rout out any traces of Selûne in Reithwin. Why do they think this town was built? One cannot rip out the foundations of a building and expect it to remain standing. - Brother and I remain the last two bastions of Our Lady of Silver in the town. A few - the trusting few - come to worship in secret by moonlit nights. Others - converts, all. Whether they truly believe, I cannot say. Impossible, isn't it?

(Don't worry, the second page is further down lol spoilers!)

Life is not going well in Reithwin, even if you're not a Selûnite. Ketheric is determined to destroy all traces of Selûne and treason of any kind. His Dark Justiciars begin tormenting citizens to reveal pockets of Selûnite resistance. He also suffers no treasonous word against him, even if the citizens in question aren't Selûnite. We see a glimpse of this and of the Justiciars' cruel influence during the questline with He Who Was and Madeline, who ratted out her friends' innocent(?) complaints about Ketheric to some Justiciars, resulting in their brutal deaths.

Eventually Morfred realizes that the Dark Justiciars are too powerful to resist and turns to Raphael, offering his soul in exchange for something to destroy the Dark Justiciar army.

- Sick of standing idle while Justiciars gain power in our humble town. What will become of us if we allow it? I met a man who was no man. Touched by a devil. Or maybe worse. But he offered me something I couldn't refuse - help. - The time is now. Ketheric's Justiciars, their stronghold in the temple below - they will be wiped out. All of them. I didn't ask how. I just want them gone. Let the Harpers have at Ketheric now. They'll make short work of him.

You can ask Morfred about this in the House of Hope, actually, where he confirms the details. I mean, he's in Raphael's house, so it's pretty obvious the he did, in fact, make a deal with him.

Infernal Mason: When tragedy came, my master fell into darkness and despair. He marshalled a great army to ruin the world and bring all into shadow. I could not let it happen. I sought out the devil Raphael and signed an infernal pact with him. He promised to destroy my master’s army, and I promised him my soul in return. The devil was true to his word. Fiends slaughtered my master’s forces, but he endured somehow, and blighted the land.

The Fiend in question here is Yurgir, who ends up crashing through Grymforge and the Gauntlet to kill all Dark Justiciars in his path. (He misses one, because Raphael is a sneaky bastard who let one get away by turning him into a swarm of rats, but I digress.) We know Yurgir caused the destruction in Grymforge, too, because of the Merregon masks and hellbeasts we find around the area, and the fact that if you pass all the checks with the Duergar mason examining the stone, he helps you piece together this narrative:

Stonemason Kith: An ancient city, hewn from the stone by the disciples of Shar, later abandoned. Untold centuries later, a new tribe revives it. Fresh walls, fresh sculptures...until a great hellbeast charges through, toppling the walls and crushing the people! Heh - that explains the infernal plate I found. Perhaps you might have use of it.

Further proof that Grymforge and the Gauntlet were once connected...somehow.

Anyway, by the time Yurgir is called in, Morfred's already been found out. Thisobald overhears him drunkenly complaining about Ketheric in the Waning Moon and informs Ketheric of his treachery. Ketheric orders a raid on the mason's guild, leaving Halfred the lone source of Selûnite resistance. It's unknown what becomes of Halfred, but considering the fact that the inn was still taking guests (like Art Cullagh) and housing the Harpers right before the shadow curse descended (there's a shadow memory of a Harper toasting his comrades in Last Light right before the battle with Ketheric long ago), it's likely he's a victim of the curse and not Justiciar brutality.

I’m not sure which is worse, honestly.

It's unclear when Morfred dies, though he admits to witnessing the first part of the shadow curse (i.e., "...but he endured somehow, and blighted the land"). But Morfred's deal coincides in some ways with the arrival of the Harpers and druids. I think he probably makes the deal with Raphael before the Harpers officially march against Ketheric and then gets caught after he hears rumors of the Harpers.

Raphael makes good on his deal around the same the Harpers arrive, perhaps a little afterward. This means Yurgir's slaughter of Justiciars in the Underdark must happen concurrently with the battle happening topside between Ketheric's army and the Harpers/druids, meaning Ketheric is losing his army on two fronts at the same time. Victory seems assured for the Harpers and druids, but of course we know now that Ketheric had a way of cheating death already in place.

He had already imprisoned the Nightsong in a Shadowfell soul cage.

Again, we’re not sure exactly when this happens, but it’s after Isobel dies and before the shadow curse, which unleashes with Ketheric’s supposed death in the battle against the Harpers and druids. However, Aylin herself says that Ketheric and Balthazar lured her into the Shadowfell under the pretense of saving an innocent.

Dame Aylin: He and his loathsome advisor Balthazar lured me into the Shadowfell, claimed they'd found someone in need of my aid. There they trapped me in their infernal cage. I was killed, murdered, made dead, over and over and over by Justiciars of every make and kind. I was reborn, for it is my nature. And Ketheric fed upon my immortality all the while.

This makes me think that Aylin wasn’t aware of Ketheric’s conversion yet, so it must have been very soon after, because otherwise, why would she trust a known Sharran telling her to enter the Shadowfell, the realm that is entirely under Shar’s control? I also suspect Ketheric built (or renovated) the Gauntlet around Aylin after her capture, perhaps at the behest of Shar due to their collaboration in making up new Justiciar teachings, or perhaps out of a sick, vengeful desire to see Aylin tormented for daring to love his daughter.

If this is true, then there’s a very real chance that Ketheric was unkillable before he truly started to torment Reithwin town, and well before the Harpers stepped in to take him down.

Anyway we at least know that Ketheric trapped Aylin in the Shadowfell before the big battle against the Harpers because a) both Isobel and Aylin talk about her being there for a century and b) because Ketheric is already using her invulnerability to survive assassination attempts on his life prior to or during the actual battle against him and his army:

23 Elient The Harpers came too close - they poisoned Father Ketheric himself, yet he professes no ill effects. Malus insists it a fluke. Doctor he may be, but he is no less a fool for it: Father has achieved that of which I can only dream: immortality. I have long suspected. I can guess Father's purpose, but I cannot fathom the means.

This brings us to the eve of the battle itself. But this post is already hella long, so keep an eye out for part 2, all about the Harper and druid battle against Ketheric!

#bg3 #bg3 lore #bg3 meta #bg3 discourse #halsin #halsin silverbough #ketheric thorm #jaheira #my thoughts #deep dive #baldur's gate 3 #long post #super long post #bg3 critical #bg3 spoilers #bg3 screenshots #who needs sleep when i can just read 24125234 bits of lore #and red string theory my way into madness #also I haven’t mention Halsin and Jaheira much in this post #but they’re coming up soon I promise lol

[atiny-desire]

Scream pt. 2

Pairing: Yandere! Wooyoung x fem! Reader Summary: A year has passed since the events on Halloween, and you had given up on the idea of ever escaping Wooyoung's grasp. That was until someone very unexpected helped you out. Word count: 7.1 k Disclaimer: I'm in no way condoning, justifying, encouraging nor promoting this kind of behavior. This is not supposed to represent Wooyoung in any way. Warning: Yandere behavior, violence, stalking

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait, but after all, I have finally finished the last part.

Pt. 1

◇◇◇

It's been a year since Wooyoung and Jongho kidnapped you. You were sitting in Wooyoung's lap watching the news on TV. It was your first time watching television this year, Wooyoung said his gift to your 'anniversary' was the privilege of watching TV.

The biggest gift would've been your freedom, but that was just unrealistic thinking on your behalf.

"And now to a tragedy, that is still affecting the people of a small town." You weren't really paying attention when the reporter switched the topic, but the name of your hometown made you perk up.

"One year has passed since three students disappeared without a trace." On screen were three pictures of you, Wooyoung, and Jongho.

"Jung Wooyoung and Choi Jongho are currently the prime suspects in the case of the two murdered girls. Meanwhile, Y/N's involvement in the case is still unclear, although it is assumed that she has been kidnapped by the two suspects." You were surprised to see your face on Television, you thought people gave up looking for you or didn't even search for you to begin with.

While you were paying close attention to what was said, you didn't notice how Wooyoung observed you attentively the whole time. He didn't like how excited you were to see that people were still searching for you.

They moved on to show some Interviews with people who knew you. The first ones were your parents and it almost brought you to tears. Your mother was holding a tissue at her nose while silently crying. Your father was the one to talk. Saying how much they loved and missed you.

The next ones were Hongjoong and Seonghwa. "Honestly, Wooyoung always acted weird when it came to Y/N, but never did I imagine that he would go that far." Hongjoong answered the reporter's question about how they would judge Wooyoung.

Seonghwa nodded along and added, "And neither did we think that Jongho was capable of doing something like this."

To your surprise, not only Mingi was on screen next, but Yunho too. Ever since that night, none of the two would tell you what they did with him. Eventually, you drew your own conclusion of what "Taking care of Yunho" could mean and assumed that Jongho must have killed him.

You felt how Wooyoung tensed up at the sight of him. Glancing at Wooyoung showed you that his jaw was clenched and how he glared at Jongho who was sitting in an armchair, opposite of the couch.

"I always knew that Wooyoung did it!" Yunho was still the same, always overexcited when it came to crime. "And that he abducted Y/N? Not surprised either! He always acted way too possessive of her." Mingi was standing beside him while Yunho was rambling about, scratching his neck with his eyes wandering everywhere but at the camera. He looked like he wanted to go home, but got dragged in front of the camera by the crime obsessed guy beside him.

"Jongho was not expected tho. He tried to kill me, but that was the worst attempt I've ever seen. The only thing he did was leave an ugly scar on the side of my stomach." Yunho shook his head as if he was disappointed, it almost made you smile, seeing him still being the same comforted you a bit. At least you knew now that he was okay.

"So you believe that Y/N was kidnapped," the reporter asked him.

He nodded, his eyes were sparkling because now people were actually interested in his theories. "I mean it's pretty obvious, they found her phone with her last call being the police and Wooyoung was the only one staying with her. And on top of that the mask they found, with his DNA all over it! Wooyoung would never kill her, so the only option is that he took her with him." Yunho sighed and shook his head again. "Wooyoung's and Jongho's sloppy job just shows that they never listened to me."

Wooyoung's grip on your hip became tighter the more he listened to Yunho talk. "You're hurting me!" You grimaced your face, he would leave bruises if he kept doing it. His eyes were burning with hatred as he was staring at the screen, completely ignoring your complaints.

You put your hand over his, trying to pry him off. This caught his attention, his eyes met yours, and it made you stop whatever you were doing. A tiny tingly feeling sparked inside your lower stomach, a feeling that you tried to push away for a few months now. Of course, you knew what this feeling was. You were falling in love with him.

Stockholm syndrome. That was the first thing you thought about once you noticed your growing feelings toward him. You tried your best to fight those feelings, but there was only so much you could do, with him constantly being around you.

The next person was an even bigger surprise, you haven't seen him in years and now he was on television. Yeosang. You squirmed in Wooyoung's hold, his other hand which was lying on your upper thigh was now clamped into your flesh too.

"You and Y/N dated for some time. Did you ever notice anything weird about Jongho and Wooyoung," the reporter asked him.

Yeosang nodded, his white hair moving along with his motions. "Jongho, no. But Wooyoung? Absolutely." He stopped to think about what he was going to say next. "I don't know how to explain it, but I always had a bad feeling about him. From always glaring at me to making passive aggressive comments every time we talked."

He stopped again to bite his lower lip. "I know that seems like small things, but still, there was always something about him that would set my alarm bells off, he just-", Yeosang gestured around with his hands while fighting to find the right words, "I don't know how to explain it, but he had a very weird vibe around him."

The screen went back to the news reporter in the studio, but you couldn't listen to what he was saying because Wooyoung started to demand your attention. "I will never let you go," he suddenly said. You turned your head to look at him again and saw that he was already staring at you. A confident half-smile appeared on his lips. "And you don't want to leave me, right?"

It was delusional of him to think that you were staying with him because you wanted to, but you still nodded, telling him the truth wouldn't benefit you at all and would only put you at risk of being hurt. In the corner of your eye, you saw how Jongho watched the whole interaction, he slightly shook his head and then dedicated his attention to his phone instead.

Meanwhile, Wooyoung put his hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb. He got lost in his thoughts for a short moment, you knew what he was thinking about and it reminded you too.

It was your second day being held captive when you argued with Wooyoung. The two of you were standing in the doorway of the room they gave to you.

"So now what?! You're crazy if you think that this would work! People are going to search for me," you were yelling at Wooyoung who was progressively getting more annoyed with you.

You didn't know where you got the sudden confidence from to raise your voice at him, and in hindsight, it was a bad idea.

"Go. Inside. Your room," he repeated himself for the third time now, but you still weren't listening.

You stubbornly shook your head. "Just let me go! You're making it worse for everyone!"

Wooyoung sighed and bit his lip while thinking. "Listen-" he reached for your cheek but he didn't get to touch you. However, instead of just slapping his hand away, you took a more drastic approach.

You bit him.

The silence was deafening, he stared at you before he looked at his hand. A red print mark of your teeth was visible on the back of his hand, tiny dark red dots formed where you broke his skin. You saw how he clenched his jaw, the muscles under his skin were twitching and the veins on his neck became visible.

Your eyes widened in shock, you did it without thinking and the severity of the situation was now sinking in. "I'm sorr-," you didn't get to finish.

Wooyoung used the same hand to strike you across your face. He hit you with his open hand, but since you were unprepared for the impact it was enough to make you stumble back into the room. Your own hand shot up to hold it against your cheek, the skin was warm to your touch and it stung.

You could see the fury in his eyes before he shut the door without sparing you another word. You stood there, still in shock with your hand on your cheek, until you heard him lock the door.

You slowly turned around and curled up on the bed which was standing against the wall behind you. It didn't take long before your eyes became watery and you started to silently cry. Why you? Why did it have to be you?  You were silently begging in your head for someone to come save you

They kept you locked up for about a week before Wooyoung let you out again, but not without announcing that from now on you would have to earn your privileges. You never acted up after that again, he taught you relatively quickly that it wouldn't get you anywhere.

Wooyoung took his time just looking at you, at the start, it always made you uncomfortable when he just stared at you but now you got used to it. It didn't even surprise you anymore when he suddenly buried his face in the crook of your neck. Wooyoung wanted to touch you at all times be it hugging you or just holding hands with you. His favorite, however, was when you sat in his lap, where he could feel your warmth against him.

He held you for five more minutes before he sighed dramatically and removed himself from you. "I'm afraid I have to leave now." A pout formed on his lips as he jokingly said, "Don't miss me too much, all right?" He placed a kiss on your cheek before finally letting you off his lap.

You didn't say anything to him, but you didn't have to anyway, since in his mind he already knew that you would miss him. It didn't matter that it wasn't true and that in reality you always wished that he would never come back.

Wooyoung stood up grabbed his jacket and with a last wink your way he left the house. He often left and you always wondered where he would go, but questioning him about it was useless, he would always just playfully say that it was a secret. Nevertheless, you stopped caring about where he would go, because every time he left it felt like a weight was lifted off your chest and you could finally breathe again.

You glanced at Jongho who was still on his phone. Since that night he refused to talk to you, but it wasn't like you tried to talk to him in the first place.

"I didn't help him because I wanted to." Jongho's voice startled you, you realized that you almost forgot what he sounds like.

"I didn't ask." It came out colder than you intended to. Did he really expect that you would act like nothing happened after he helped Wooyoung abduct you and not speak to you for a whole year?

You made eye contact with him, with the anticipation of looking at his usual emotionless face, but it wasn't. Instead, he looked... kind of sad. However the sad expression was gone as fast as it came, or maybe it wasn't even there to begin with and you just imagined it. Jongho was not going to let it go, for some reason he was finally determined to tell you the truth. "You did ask!"

He was right, but that was at the very beginning. What was the point of telling you the truth now? You didn't care anymore, the only thing you wanted was to get back home, even if there was a little voice in your head that was telling you otherwise. You silently stared at him, you wanted to give him a piece of your mind, but your thoughts were a tangled mess and nothing could convey your feelings like you wanted it to.

Jongho, who took your silence as your approval for him to keep talking, took a long drawn out sigh before he started to tell you his side of the story. "To make it short, Wooyoung caught me with San's girlfriend." You didn't know what you were expecting but this for sure wasn't it. "He surprised us, killed her first, shoved the knife in my hands and threatened to tell the police that I did it if I don't do as he says."

You tried your best to keep your facial expressions in check, but Jongho knew what you were going to say because he was able to read you like a book, not just any book, but a picture book made for children. It was as clear as the day that you could not grasp Jonghos' way of thinking, nothing of this made sense to you. "So you just stood there and watched him kill her? You're stronger than him, you could've stopped him!"

"I know but it wasn't that easy!" His eyes were previously wandering around the room but were set on you now, for the first time during this conversation. "He's my friend... he is our friend. He is important to me and I know he is important to you too!"

"Jongho, what the hell!" You raised your voice a little bit and shook your head in disbelief, you couldn't understand his reasoning at all. "He was our friend, yes, but that doesn't excuse him for killing someone?!"

Hypocrite. Your inner voice kept repeating that word. You were lecturing Jongho about still seeing Wooyoung as a friend, while you were slowly falling in love with him. If you could even call those confusing feelings love.

"I know it doesn't, but don't tell me that you don't have the same conflicting feelings!"

"I don't." You stayed stubborn in your stance, Jongho didn't need to know about your feelings. "And even if I did, he literally killed people, in what world does him being our friend make this okay?!" You were repeating yourself, but talking to Jongho was like arguing with a wall. The same thing could be said about you too because both of you were standing your ground.

This is probably the most you've talked during this year. Wooyoung has had already mentioned multiple times about how you lost your quick-wittedness and joked that he would replace you with someone more exciting. You always forced a smile and told him to stop messing around, but secretly you were wishing that he would actually do it.

You were staring at each other, trying to intimidate the other into giving up, but you knew Jongho. He wasn't going to budge no matter how long you were trying to keep this up.

"And what about Yunho?" You now glared at him, while Jongho quickly broke the eye contact. "Tell me, is he not your friend? What exactly are your criteria here?"

He clenched his jaw and started to bite the inside of his cheeks. "I didn't kill him, did I," he quietly hissed and stubbornly redirected his gaze to stare at the TV. You didn't know that an advertisement about teeth whitening toothpaste could be this interesting.

"But you tried." Both of you stayed silent after that, but the tension was unbearable to you and you still had a question, so you broke the silence again. "What about me? Am I not your friend either?"

"You and Yunho are my friends, but so is Wooyoung!" He hissed again through clenched teeth. You had to withstand the urge to roll your eyes. Yes, you're such a great friend that you tried to kill one of them and abducted the other one, you wanted to say it out loud, but you held your tongue. "I didn't want this to happen!"

You couldn't help but snort. "How kind of you, at least you didn't want it to happen," your voice was dripping with sarcasm. You became bolder the more you noticed that he wasn't a threat, but just a loyal idiot. You almost nodded to yourself, loyal idiot seemed to perfectly describe him at this moment.

"If you really didn't want this to happen then let me go." Jongho's face hardened, he had always been scary when he put on his stern expression, but now it seemed to be on another level. "You're going to get a lesser sentence if you cooperate with the police, I'll even help you." His face stayed unchanged, but there was a small glint in his eyes, which could have been easily missed, but you saw it. He was considering it, but he didn't get to think about it any further.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw something move in the window right by the front door. The door opened not even a second later, and revealed Wooyoung. He smiled as he came into the house. "I forgot my phone."

Now you saw it too, there it was, laying on the coffee table. You bit your lip and hoped that he didn't hear anything from your conversation from the outside. Wooyoung noticed the tension that filled the room as soon as he showed up, he slowly walked to the table and asked, "Did I interrupt something?"

He grabbed his phone and kept looking between you and Jongho waiting for an answer until his gaze finally settled on you after none of you answered him. "Well? Did I?"

You shook your head. "You didn't." But who were you trying to fool? Wooyoung knew that something was up just by looking into your eyes, they hadn't been this expressive in a long time. Wooyoung slowly came closer to you, you felt your shoulders tense up no matter how hard you tried to stay relaxed. His presence was unnerving, you didn't want to know what he would do if he found out what you were talking about.

"You wouldn't lie to me, right?~," he hummed melodically. He gently placed his index finger under your chin to lift your face up. You nodded but you couldn't hold the eye contact with him, so you looked at the wooden wall behind him. His face hardened, which you obviously couldn't see because apparently, the wall behind him was much more interesting than him.

Frustrated he bit his lip, he wanted to know what was going on, but he didn't have the time to discuss this out now. "We're going to talk about this later!" He pulled his hand back and looked at Jongho one more time before he left the house again.

You waited a minute before you tried to talk to Jongho again, but he had other plans. You barely opened your mouth when he abruptly stood up and went upstairs. The sound of his room door closing followed quickly after.

Defeated you sat there for a few minutes. The television was still showing a bunch of advertisements. You could feel the energy and adrenaline, which were previously running through your body, leave the more time passed. You eventually got up, turned the TV off, and went into your room too.

Your legs automatically carried you to the big bookshelf, which was filled to the brim with fantasy and romance books. They were already there when you arrived in this house and often left you wondering who it originally belonged to, and how Wooyoung knew that it would be safe here. The house in general was a really nice one, people would pay thousands for a house like that.

It was a big log cabin surrounded by forest and with a clear lake basically directly at the front door. All of the rooms were big and spacious, you couldn't believe that someone would just abandon a house like that. However Wooyoung refused to give you any information about the owners, or how he knew about the house.

You reached out for a book, which has caught your eye for a while now. "Cursed" was written in bold white letters on the spine. You pulled it out of its spot to inspect the cover and the summary. The story was about eight Pirates who had to break a curse, with the help of the daughter of a famous treasure hunter.

You spent the rest of the day on your bed reading said book. It quickly captured you in its world, to the point where you could almost taste the salty air of the sea on your tongue, and hear the creaking of the ship, as it sailed across the ocean.

The time flew by and you didn't even notice how it turned dark outside. That was until someone knocked on your door. Dread settled in the pit of your stomach, you didn't have to guess who it was. Wooyoung opened the door without waiting for your permission to enter. He strolled over to you and dramatically flopped down beside you on the bed.

He was pouting when he said, "You're sending more times with those books than with me!"

"Well, you're always gone the whole day. Am I supposed to just sit here and wait for you," you responded. You didn't take your eyes off of your book, despite having lost your concentration since Wooyoung entered the room.

He didn't say anything in return and you could finally stop reading the same sentence over and over again, and concentrate again.

Wooyoung was laying on his side with his head propped up in his hand, watching you. He didn't say anything and just observed how your eyes moved over the pages. The soft sound of you occasionally flipping a page filled the room. You didn't see it but had you looked out of the window you would have seen the small snowflakes falling through the light that was falling out of your window. This could have been a romantic moment if the person lying next to you wasn't your kidnapper.

After a while, you almost forgot about his presence, but it was almost as if he sensed it and he didn't like that you were forgetting him. "Do you have a wish for Christmas," he suddenly asked.

You stopped reading in order to look at him, you thought you misheard him, but it seemed as if he was waiting for an answer, so you did in fact not imagine it. It only took you a second and a short glance out of the window to know what you wanted. The snowflakes were now bigger and would definitely add a few centimeters to the already thick layer of fallen snow. You felt the desire to go outside and feel the cold air against your face and to breathe in the fresh air. "A visit to a Christmas Market." It was just a silly idea, and you didn't expect Wooyoung to agree to it. However, to your surprise, you heard him hum in agreement.

You turned your head so fast that you almost pulled a muscle. "Are you serious," you asked in disbelief.

"I'm serious, if you want to go, we'll go." His reassurance made you sit up straight, you closed your still open book without putting a tag between the pages and stared at Wooyoung as if he grew a second head.

He had a satisfied smirk on his lips, as he was finally able to draw a reaction from you. "Don't you want to know what my wish is?" Of course, you should have known that there was going to be a catch.

You sighed and asked, "What do you want?" It came out a lot harsher than you wanted it to be. Luckily for you, he didn't mind.

There was a playful glint in his eyes, you didn't even need to hear what he had to say, to know that it would be something bad for you. "You," he whispered. "All of you."

You froze, you knew that the time would come when he would not be satisfied anymore with just kissing and cuddling, but nothing could prepare you for the moment when he actually voiced it out. You didn't respond anymore, you were too stunned to say something and that held on until he finally left your room again. He winked at you before he left and his last words were, "Dream of me!"

Jongho got informed that you would visit a market, on the next day and he was not amused. You were all sitting in the living room when Wooyoung told him about the news, he first had the same look as you the day prior before it turned into pure anger. "What the hell are you thinking?!" You were a bit taken aback by his sudden outburst, you had expected this kind of reaction from Wooyoung, but not from him. Wooyoung seemed a bit surprised too, as he just let him continue speaking.

"We went through all of this for what?" It was a question but he didn't expect an answer. "Just for you to ruin it all by taking unnecessary risks?!" He bit his lower lip, his hands were clenched into a fist and with his eyes, he was staring daggers at Wooyoung.

Wooyoung sat up straight, his eyebrows were raised, silently asking if Jongho was questioning his authority. The latter wasn't too impressed and just hissed through clenched teeth, "You know who's in town right?"

"And who's fault is that," Wooyoung promptly asked. They stayed silent for a few seconds.

Jongho was the first one to break the staring contest, he practically jumped from his seat he was about to leave, but not without one last comment. "Why don't you just call the police already and safe us the trouble, huh?" And with that he left, the sound of his door slamming shut could be heard through the whole house just a few seconds later. Wooyoung didn't react to his provocation, but his mood was miserable for the rest of the day.

Christmas day arrived agonizingly slow and way too fast at the same time. You woke up with a stomach ache, whether it was from excitement or your anxiety, you didn't know. You were laying in your bed for a while, thinking about different plans and their outcome. Nothing seemed to have a 100% chance of working. You could ask a stranger for help, but what if they just ignored you, what if Wooyoung noticed what you were trying to do? Just running away seemed even worse, you doubted that you could outrun Wooyoung, but you had to try something. You would decide which plan to pursue, once you were there.

And what if you failed? It felt like someone punched you in the gut, once the thought occurred to you. Until now he had always accepted it when you said no, but would he take no for an answer again? How long would he wait until he just took what he wanted?

Until now you were staring blankly at the ceiling, but you had to screw your eyes shut. You were trying to push your thoughts to the back of your head, but it didn't help, they always came back to the surface. What if you didn't want to say no? You felt horrible, you shouldn't have those kinds of feelings for a killer and kidnapper.

After a while, you finally got up and went down to eat breakfast. You would need the energy for later. Jongho and Wooyoung were already sitting at the kitchen table when you came down, one of them had made scrambled eggs. The food on your plate was still steaming.

"Are you excited for today," Wooyoung asked as soon as you sat down next to him. Jongho who sat in front of you shook his head slightly, he still didn't like the idea.

You nodded and refrained from looking at him. You knew if you did catch a glance of him, you would feel those unwanted tingles in your lower stomach again. You could feel his burning stare on your face while you were eating, but you tried to ignore it as well as you possibly could. That was until he finally said something again. "I'm excited too."

You almost choked on your food, you didn't have to be a mind reader to know that he wasn't talking about the market. All he got from you was a quick glance at him before you continued to, now awkwardly, eat your food.

The day went by awfully slow, you kept checking the clock, which hung over the TV in the living room. It was as is the time had a personal vendetta against you and wanted to torture you with every second for as long as possible.

It wasn't until the time finally arrived, when you finally stood outside again, that you realized the gravity of this situation. You literally had to escape, or everything would be over. You didn't know how long you could resist Wooyoung. He was driving you crazy, and not in a good way.

The air was cold but fresh. The thick layer of snow was sparkling under the few sun rays that managed to slip through the cloudy sky. Every step you took resorted in the sound of the snow crunching under your weight. It was a beautiful winter day, you just wished that you could actually enjoy it. You were sweating even though it was cold, your hands were shaking because of your anxiety and your body was producing Adrenaline as if you were being chased by a Lion. You could only hope that Wooyoung wouldn't notice.

The drive to the town was quiet, at least between you two. Your mind, however, was very loud and busy, constantly creating new outcomes and their consequences and replaying them over and over again. The closer you got, the more you felt like throwing up, you were really tempted to just tell Wooyoung to turn around.

After all, all of the worrying you did was useless. The two of you were, of course wearing a mask and Wooyoung didn't let you out of his grasp just once, his arm was constantly around your waist holding you close to him. The Christmas market would've been great under different conditions. People were enjoying the holiday days, the air smelt like various foods and sweets. Every stand was decorated with lights and pretty ornaments, but you couldn't enjoy it. Not with Wooyoung by your side and the dooming knowledge, that he was pretty close to breaking you.

You had already accepted your fate, that was until you spotted a familiar figure. He was hard to miss because he was towering over everyone else and his hair was still the same shade of orange, with which you last saw him in person. You didn't need to see his face to know that it was Yunho. Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up, this was your chance. You were about to yell his name, but Wooyoung, who had spotted him at the same time as you did, was quick to stop that.

He put his hand over your mouth and discreetly but quickly pulled you to a more secluded area. "Were you trying to call him," he asked as soon as you were alone.

You of course shook your head, but Wooyoung was not having it. He only asked you because he wanted to give you a chance, to tell the truth, and you failed miserably. He knew you, and he knew what you were trying to do. The trip was cut short because of this incident. Wooyoung roughly grabbed you by your wrist, and pulled you after him, not caring if you could keep up with his fast pace.

The drive back was in complete silence too, but it was worse than the drive to the market. The air was filled with tension, and you had to live with the fact that you failed. Wooyoung didn't calm down during the whole drive back, he was clenching and unclenching his jaw and his knuckles turned white from his hard grip on the steering wheel. It was already dark when you arrived back 'home'.

There were different kind of ways of how silence could be described. Awkward silence, pleasant silence, sinister silence, and many more. However sinister would fit the most, had you had to describe the silence as you first walked into the log cabin again. For some reason, you knew immediately that Jongho was gone, which left you alone with an angry Wooyoung, but there was something else that you couldn't quite describe. It was as if the time was frozen, waiting for something.

Apparently, you were the only one who noticed the difference, because Wooyoung was entirely focused on his anger and you. He grabbed your wrist again as soon as he slammed the door shut, you winced at the sound and were surprised that he didn't take the door off its hinges. He continued to drag you after him, up the stairs and to his room, where he then proceeded to slam the door shut in the same manner as the front door.

He let go of you and you shuffled into the middle of the room, where you had some distance from him and couldn't be cornered by him. You stood there unsure, playing with the hem of your pullover until Wooyoung finally said something. "What were you talking about with Jongho, the other day?" This caught you off guard, you had expected him to ask you about the encounter with Yunho again, but not this. You assumed that he had forgotten about your conversation with Jongho.

"Nothing. Nothing important." You said.

He nodded slightly and let out a short quiet laugh before he fixes his cold gaze on you. "I decide what is important and what is not! What were you talking about?" The vein on his neck looked like it was about to pop, he just needed one more reason to set him off.

You considered lying to him, but it seemed pointless. He wouldn't stop pushing until you finally heave him the answer he wanted. Your eyes traveled down to the white square carpet, which you were standing on. It was a big contrast to the dark wooden floor it was lying on. "He-," you were ready to push all of the blame on him, but you reconsidered. "We were talking about leaving."

Wooyoung didn't seem to be surprised at all, he probably had already suspected it. All of a sudden he got closer to you and swiftly wrapped his hand around your neck. He didn't apply enough pressure to cut off your airway, but enough to hold you in place. You put both of your hands around his wrist and tried to pry him off, but he didn't move one bit. "I told you before, not to lie to me. Yet, you told me that you didn't want to leave." His eyes narrowed as he brought his face closer to yours, his lips were ghosting over yours when he whispered, "Are you trying to irritate me on purpose?"

He was dangerous his hand around your neck proved it once again. If he wanted to he could extinguish your life at any moment. All of those facts yet you still got those unwanted tingles in your stomach, because of his close proximity. He must have done it, he must have finally broken you, because you were sick in the head for still having feelings for him. You couldn't think straight, all you were thinking about was how close he was, and what would happen if you crossed the line and closed the gap between you.

"You belong to me, right?" He asked but it still sounded more like a statement. You nodded, it wasn't enough for Wooyoung though. "Then say it. Say that you belong to me."

"I belong to-" You didn't get any further. The door swung open and three armed police officers invaded the room.

"Hands over your head and get on your knees!" Commanded one of them, all three of them were pointing their weapons at Wooyoung, who was still holding you by your throat. "Don't make me repeat myself." He said after Wooyoung made no move to comply.

You were watching with wide eyes, you couldn't believe that you almost kissed him out of your own free will and you couldn't believe, that you were finally being rescued. Were you dreaming? No, this was real. Wooyoung slowly removed his hand from your neck and followed the orders he was given, but not without glaring at them the whole time. If looks could kill they wouldn't be standing anymore.

"Y/N right?" The same officer addressed you now.

Still in shock, you could only manage to whisper a small, "Yes." You cringed at the sound of your voice. It sounded hoarse, even to your own ears.

The officer didn't take his eyes or his weapon off of Wooyoung. "Go outside. Your family is waiting in front of the house." Your Family. Everything felt surreal, after a year you had given up on the idea that someone was going to come and save you. Especially after your most recent failure at the market.

You weren't dreaming, right? Your legs felt like jelly with every step you took, until you finally reached the front door, which was left wide open. Two police cars were standing outside with their lights on, the blue and red lights were reflecting on the glittering snow. Your body reacted automatically when you ran up to your parents once you spotted them. Your parents were both shedding tears when they finally held you in their arms again, but for some reason, you didn't. It wasn't that you weren't happy to see them again, however it wasn't enough to make you cry.

Yunho and Mingi were there too, you finally acknowledged them when your parents released you of their crushing hug. Yunho was the next one who you pulled into a hug. You came to the conclusion that he must have called the police, he must have seen you back then. "Thank you," you mumbled into his chest.

"What did I do to deserve a Thank you," He asked.

Confused you pulled a bit back to look at him. Yunho had his head cocked to the side and looked at you with the same kind of confusion. "I thought... you called the police."

Both of you stayed quiet for a second before he slowly shook his head. "How would I have known that you're here?" So he wasn't the one who brought you back your freedom, but then who else?

Mingi had already opened his arms, pouting and waiting for his hug when you let go of Yunho, but you had your attention elsewhere. Wooyoung was being led outside the house, his face didn't show any emotions, as if he didn't just get caught and ruined his entire life. He didn't even spare you another glance, as he was forced inside in one of the police cars.

Your eyes wandered to the second car. The flickering lights were illuminating the inside just enough for you to recognize a silhouette on the backseat. Jongho. He was staring straight ahead, unmoving, as if he wasn't even present. The gears in your head started turning, if it wasn't Yunho, then it must have been Jongho, who helped you.

You didn't have time to think about it more because Mingi, who was still impatiently waiting for his hug had enough of waiting. He pulled you into him. "Mingi! You're crushing me!" You tried to get some space, but he didn't budge.

"I missed you idiot so much." You couldn't see him, since your face was squashed against his chest, but you knew that he was crying because of his shaky voice. You stopped struggling against him and soothingly pat his back until he was ready to face you again. "I'll never leave your side again!" It sounded a bit like a threat, but it made you smile nonetheless. The feeling of peace overcame you, a feeling you haven't felt during the past year.

Ten months past since you gained your freedom back. Your life became somewhat normal again, and you started to see a therapist, to handle and overcome your gained trauma from the past events. However, you still felt uneasy when Autumn arrived again, and with it, Halloween too. Everyone was preparing for it, everyone except you, your family, and your friends. With every day did your stomach ache get worse until Halloween arrived again. You and your family, including friends, decided to spend the day together.

The day was going well until the news came on. You were all sitting together in the living room when the reporter announced, "Breaking News! Jung Wooyoung, who has been arrested for murder and kidnapping, broke out of prison. The police are feverishly searching for the convicted killer. Please contact the police, should you have any clues on his whereabouts."

Your blood ran cold, and you could feel your heart rate pick up. You didn't know if it were your parents or Mingi who tried to talk and soothe you. In the end, it didn't matter. No words could calm you down anyway, not when Wooyoung was roaming around somewhere out there. He was determined to get you back, determined to never let this nightmare end. You would never be able to sleep properly again, for as long as he was alive.

Tag: @belle643

#ateez imagines #yandere ateez #ateez yandere #ateez x reader #yandere wooyoung x reader #yandere wooyoung #wooyoung x reader #ateez oneshot #ateez scenarios #yandere ateez x reader

[snootlestheangel]

The Gaz/Soap Bromance

Y'all, I am 100% convinced that these two have like the best bromance in history.

Part of it is I believe Soap is super physically affectionate with the people he's closest to, and Gaz is one of them, as well as the one willing to put up with the most affection. Gaz just knows he's a target when he's laying on the couch. Price jokingly tells him to get a blanket with a target on it so Soap would know where to lay. Gaz is just chilling, talking to someone? Soap is there, leaning against him, sitting too close, etc. etc. I keep seeing a thing going around with Soap (platonically) kissing the 141 members and friends (if y'all know where/who started this please let me know), and I'm just thinking about Soap and Gaz being Like That. Just constantly "flirting" with each other, just lil smooches here and there, so many hugs that last a little longer than deemed appropriate.

Gaz knows how to comfort Soap when he's experiencing ~issues~ with the ADHD (I don't have it, but I am autistic and I've seen many things that ADHD people struggle with that I can relate to). Gaz just knows how to help him with boredom, how to help him with overstimulation, how to make sure he takes care of himself when he's having bad days, etc. They almost always do their workouts together, spotting for the other, and keeping each other company. They're almost never apart, even doing the most mundane tasks. Gaz can be cleaning his rifle and Soap is sitting on the table, rambling about something his mom told him the last time he called her.

It gets to the point that people think they're a couple, and Gaz panics when he hears that. Ghost and Soap are together, and it's not like they are trying to hide it, it's just Ghost is emotionally constipated and doesn't know how to show affection, especially in the presence of people he's not familiar with (aka the recruits). Soap, Gaz, and Price all know when he's being affectionate towards Soap because they know he doesn't show it the same way. Yeah, Soap is still physically affectionate towards him, but he also understands that Ghost has boundaries and doesn't like being touched that much (he does, just not in public if you catch my drift ;) teehee). He suddenly distances himself from Soap, who has a breakdown over it. I mean, that's his best friend! What did he do wrong? Ghost has to convince him it's not his fault, blah blah blah, and when Soap finally calms down enough to fall asleep, Ghost is hunting Gaz down.

Not because he suddenly became distant towards Soap. At least, not in the way you might think. He is going to berate Gaz for this, but not because "That's not how you should react to the rumors about you and Soap. You really hurt Soap, how could you do that?". NO, that's not AT ALL how Ghost reacts. Ghost is instead so distraught, not for Soap, but for Gaz. He knows how important Gaz's friendship is to Soap, and vice versa. He and Gaz have never really talked about Ghost and Soap being together, and Ghost is scared that Gaz has always been expecting Ghost to try and cut Gaz out of Soap's life.

But instead, Ghost apologizes. He apologizes on behalf of the dumb recruits that started the rumor. He apologizes on behalf of himself and Price for not putting a stop to it sooner. But most importantly, he apologizes as Soap's lover. He's sorry that Gaz felt Ghost would want him gone, but it can't be further from the truth.

"I need you in my life as much as Soap does. You have been there for him when I can't be, you match his energy when no one else can. You keep him grounded without making him feel like a burden. He needs you despite having me. I can't replace what the two of you have, that's not my relationship with him. I'm there as his lover, you're there as his brother. And I need you because I can walk away from base to go on mission without him and not be scared. Not be afraid that something's going to happen to my Johnny while I'm gone. I can feel safe leaving him behind because I know he's safe with you. I know he's got someone that loves him and will lay down their life for him. Johnny is not just for me to love, his heart's too big for just me." -Ghost when he finally catches Gaz.

Gaz and Ghost being fiercely protective of Soap after that. Gaz and Soap continue being themselves, safe and comfortable, while Ghost watches with a smile behind his mask. Gaz shuts down every accusation that he and Soap are together, fiercely defending the idea that men can be vulnerable with someone and not have to be sleeping with them. He defends their friendship by pointing out all the shit they've been through together, how they're a family Gaz has never had.

And maybe, yeah, Ghost gets a bit more possessive of his Johnny, and maybe it's encouraged by Gaz. And maybe, just maybe, Soap feels so incredibly safe to hug and love on the people in his life for the first time in a really long time.

And Soap is content. He's got the greatest friend a man could ask for, the most incredible lover anyone could desire, and a good family.

And Gaz is happy. He only wants the best for Soap at all costs, and seeing him being joyful because of Ghost gives him so much satisfaction, like he's finally done something right with his life.

And Ghost is at peace. He has someone to hold when it's dark out and the demons in his head are getting to be too much. He's got this radiant bolt of energy at his side. But he also can rest easy knowing that Johnny, his Johnny, is safe and happy. He's safe with or without Ghost on base because he's got Gaz. Ghost has another person he'd give his life for if that meant he could guarantee Soap's safety.

And Price? Price is just happy his boys are getting along. That is, until Soap and Gaz drag Ghost into their shenanigans and leave Price graying faster than he should.

#soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #soap call of duty #soap and gaz bromance for the win #kyle gaz garrick #gaz modern warfare #gaz is a good friend #gaz and ghost bonding over their love of soap #john price #cod mw2 #john price is a dad

[gffa]

"it could be worse. he could have almost killed an innocent person." she says about people who likely or absolutely HAVE killed innocent people before and have literally nothing stopping them from doing it again. and what the fuck are you gonna do WHEN they do it again, selina?

Honestly, I'm interpreting that scene through the lens of Selina isn't being entirely honest in the way she talks to Jason--she's pissed at him for joining her side by pretending that he's agreeing with her, when he clearly doesn't, when he's been shit-talking her ideas the entire time, just using it as an excuse to pummel her guys instead of training them (in her eyes), and using her to get to the Joker instead of actually helping her. I read her as deliberately antagonizing him in that scene because she's sick of his shit and, if he's going to be a shit to her, she'll be a shit right back to him, by pretending to not take this seriously just because she knows it'll piss him off. I mean, I'm with you in that I think Selina being forced into this entire plan is bad writing on her behalf, SELINA IS SMARTER THAN THIS, HOW DARE YOU INSULT HER INTELLIGENCE, DC, but in that scene specifically, it worked for me, because she is soooooo annoyed with this whiny little shit, he deserves her serving up the same shit right back to him.

That is the face of a woman who has HAD ENOUGH of Jason Todd's bullshit and Selina's style has always been to dig her claws into someone by lying about what she does or doesn't care about. I think Selina does care that these people have probably killed innocent people before, but her counterpoint is: She can't do anything to bring those people back and now she's trying to stop more innocent people from being killed by offering a different path. She's taking a harm reduction path as much as she can. Yeah, they're going to make mistakes, but if she can still reduce those mistakes, isn't it worth trying? Or is one mistake enough that she should never try any other path ever again, even though it means they'll immediately go back to killing lots of innocent people? I know that path is annoyingly bad on an authorial level, we the audience can poke so many holes in it (and I think the narrative mostly agrees), but within the story, I think her reaction isn't that she doesn't care, it's that she's deliberately needling Jason because he's been getting on her nerves with his behavior and this was designed to set him off, and like. He was being kind of a little shitty to her, I say with full affection for what a hot mess he is. And she's not trying to eradicate ALL innocent people's deaths (because that's NOT POSSIBLE, it's not a feasible goal in her mind), but she's trying to bring the numbers down so at least MORE PEOPLE will live. Mistakes will happen. Sometimes innocent people will die and that hurts like hell, it shouldn't happen. But it does. She's trying to be a realist about it, there are more innocent people that will die if something isn't done, and so she'll get up and keep trying again.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #selina kyle #jason todd #gotham war #batman/catwoman: gotham war: red hood #tuesday spoilers

[raayllum]

in honour of this post, tags on another of mine i cannot remember that talked briefly about Rayla's issues, and that I've talked about Claudia and Callum's moments of being hypocritical, now I want to actually talk about Rayla's hypocritical tendencies cause it's something S4 and S5 made a fun little consistency - let's dive in

Rayla can sometimes ignore (or react indignantly to) other people possibly having their own reasons/justifications because she's tunnel visioned into only thinking about her own justifications as uniquely warranted

Let me explain

The first time I noticed this was in 2x03, mostly because it was one of those moments that made me laugh even though it's not trying to be funny because

Cause Rayla, honey, you know you lied to them too ("lying and hiding the truth aren't that different") - and Callum forgave you for that and is still your friend. Why would Claudia and Soren be any different to him? (And they are, but not the point of this point).

Now, unlike Soren (who is the person they're primarily discussing), Rayla didn't lie outright, but she did lie by omission - much the same way Claudia did. And Rayla has known her own motivations all along - probably worried they might give up on their mission if they knew (especially at the start), and she doesn't want them to hate her, and most of all by this point in the show, she didn't want to hurt them ("I'm afraid of hurting him" / "when you care about someone, it's hard to hurt them").

This made sense to me in terms of Rayla being good at being initially (often times rightfully, sometimes not so) indignant on her own behalf. She is able to justify herself and does so often, both angrily - as the next examples will show - and more neutrally ("How could I take his life?"). She defends herself both physically and personally to Corvus ("I didn't kill anyone"), she smarts at Callum when he (rightfully) tries to push at her ("I don't have to explain anything to you"), and is mad at Ethari when they initially talk ("Yeah, it's me. Surprised to see my face?"). This initial defense of herself doesn't usually persist and typically gives way to self loathing ("I can fix this" / "I don't deserve your trust, not yet" / "They're right to reject me") but it is there at first and is usually her first reaction, which is very fun.

However, this coupled together with the other two instances arc 2 brings up in terms of her being kind of a hypocrite makes it a pattern, beginning in early season four. (Callum also isn't at his best in early season four, saying he doesn't want to talk about stuff and then bringing it up the next episode to take a jab at her - but he's still dealing with the fallout of the problems she caused, so he absolutely gets more of a pass. As always, see my In Defense of Callum's Narrative Lens from way back in the day if you're interested in more of how his perspectives are portrayed.)

Because gee, Rayla, I wonder whose fault that is? And again, it does make sense that she's angry - she's spent two years just wanting to be with him with none of the messy complex heartbreak he had to go through because she was the one who made the choice to leave. She expected him to at least shout at her, not ice her out completely. And again, we see that initial indignant streak fade when he reiterates he wants to go, and she looks down disappointed, but accepting of it (and puts whether she'll stay or not in his hands, too).

Since she had a good reason for leaving, and it's what her parents did, while she expected anger, she also wants affection and love. Isn't her justification enough, in some ways? Shouldn't it be? And while Rayla wrestled back and forth with this, it's clear she does think that it should be (even if both seasons show she's starting to realize just why she was wrong).

But we do see this hypocritical tendency of hers perhaps pop up most prominently in S5 with Nyx

Again, in Rayla's head, lying and stealing the key wasn't perhaps the right thing to do, but the better thing to do than burden Callum with what she was going through / to be open and vulnerable. It makes sense why she'd do so - and her shot at Nyx gets a tiny pass cause she's technically sticking up for Ezran - but it still falls back on Rayla leaning too heavily on her logic / independent streak to justify actions that are actually counterproductive to having healthy, wilfully open relationships.

And this is something I love about TDP. Even when the characters are genuinely making the worst possible fucking decisions they ever could (hi arc 1 Viren, Claudia and Karim constantly in particular) you completely understand how and why they're justifying those decisions, and Rayla is no different. Doesn't mean they're right, doesn't mean it's not logically stupid or fair or whatever, but it's emotionally consistent, and that's what matters most in the end. And now we have a fun little consistency to add to the pile

#in that vein of 'ezran can steamroll others bc the emotional solution is so obvious to him / #he suppresses the hell out of shit' spirit #tdp rayla #characterization #mini meta #analysis series #tdp #the dragon prince #like i love rayla but she's so full of shit sometimes lmao #analysis #like rayla really is a character where one of her core flaws is both #a lack of grounded self awareness amid too much self awareness #bc sometimes she's on the right path about her actual flaws (lying & leaving) #and other times she's so off base it's like girl what planet are you on this is Not one of your problems #steering her into the pile of actual flaws lmao #also why callum is good for her #'nah you're good. but that other dumb shit you did? jc"

[thesparklingwriter]

@zhongrin | Zhongli + Itto = crystalise

“Gods, demons, vision bearers, the visionless… We’re all the same, really, aren’t we?”

tags: zhongli and itto are fighting for your affections, female reader, it's Lantern Rite but i forgot how it works in canon, reader lives in liyue, literally pure fluff, itto knows Zhongli is an archon

If there’s anything your life doesn’t lack, it’s drama.

Travelling across Teyvat does nothing but provide you with new companions to meet, and oftentimes it also leads to violent clashings of character. You thought you’d seen the worst of it when you accidentally reunited the Ragvindr brothers, but the most dramatic encounter was yet to come. Right now, though, you're enjoying the brief period of peace, as you walk alone through the bustling Liyue streets.

“Hey Sunshine!” Itto creeps up beside you, the smile on his face reflecting the smile blossoming in his heart. Yes, it's taken him a good few days to get to Liyue, and yes, everyone on board the ship really, really really loved beans, but he didn’t really mind. He gets to see you, so the sickness is worth it.

You spin around to see your favourite oni, his long white hair combed and braided to perfection, and his fanged smile wider than you’ve ever seen before.

“Was that supposed to make me jump?” You chuckle as he falls into step beside you.

“What? No. It was supposed to make you smile.” he grins. “And that it did.”

How is anyone not supposed to smile around him? He exudes energy and an optimistic naivety that you’ve not seen in anyone for a long time. His cheerfulness is even more impressive when you knew the things he’d experienced. He’d seen hell in person, but he chose to live every day pretending it didn’t exist.

“How was the trip?" you ask. "I wasn’t expecting you to get here so soon.”

“You knew I was coming?"

“Mmm,” you reply, watching as stalls begin to pop up for the upcoming Lantern Rite—undoubtedly your favourite festival of the year. “You put a sign on the message board saying that Liyue better be ready for The One and Oni Arataki Itto to show them how a real festival is done. I couldn't have missed it.”

Itto laughs heartily. “That means my work was done perfectly, as always. I should thank Shinobu. If I remember.”

“I’ll send her something on your behalf, don’t worry. I’ll grab something from the Lantern Rite stalls.”

“You would? You’re amazing. Seriously.” Itto grins. “So when’s Lantern Rite? Can I come? Do I get to set up a stall or something?”

“You put that message up on the board without even planning anything in advance?” You ask. His response sends you into a fit of giggles—one that pricks the ears of the retired geo archon.

It’s not like he’s jealous. You’re not his property, and never will be. But he is intrigued by this…demon who makes you giggle like that. You’d never laughed so heartily whenever you spent time with him. Maybe he'd get a slight chuckle at him and his antics, but nothing more. Not that he cared.

You didn't even notice you’d walked past the funeral parlour in the midst of your laughter—and you always noticed.

He’s not upset. At all. That would be absurd of him. He’s simply curious. You associate with people from all over Teyvat, a quality of yours that he’s always loved, so he’s not surprised. Either way, he decides to find out who this man is for himself—by bumping into you guys by chance.

“So are you going to let me come or not?” Itto huffs. You’d been talking about the history of the Lantern Rite for so long that he’d nearly forgotten his original question.

“A friend of mine has agreed to take me around this year, so you should definitely come with. He’s great with the history, and he knows where all the good food spots are.” Itto’s steps slow down almost comically.

“I’m going to have to share you?”

“Yes…?”

“Can I at least meet the guy?” he pouts. He came all this way to see you, and he's going to have to share your attention with another guy? He’s not a fan. He’s also not a fan of the creepy old man watching him from across the street, with his fancy jacket and tailored trousers and lean frame. What is he doing, staring at you?

“Sunshine, some weird guy over there is staring at you.” he nudges your side slightly. “You need me to tell him off or something?”

You glance over at the guilty party, who its watching you with an almost forced placidity. “Oh, that’s just my friend. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

Itto tilts his head to the side slightly. He knows that in order for someone to get along with him they’d have to be a certain kind of fearless and non-judgemental, but this is something new. Instead of being afraid of the weird dude making eyes at you, you call him your friend?

“Are you sure? I can deal with him if you like. You don’t need to be so chill.”

“Itto, it’s fine.” You grin, taking his hand and dragging him along with you. “Hi Zhongli!”

The man's blank expression breaks into a slight smile. “Hello, yn. It’s a pleasure to see you.”

“How many times have I told you to quit it with the formalities?” you giggle, squeezing his arm.

“Plenty of times.” Zhongli says. He glances at your hand—the one holding Itto’s—and his smile drops imperceptibly. “It’s impolite to not introduce your acquaintances, you know.”

“Hey, old man, don’t stick your big words on me. Me and yn are bona fide buddies. None of this acquaintance business. You make us sound like we work together.” He scowls. Admitting that he and you were friends was kind of…irritating. He liked being your friend, but he wanted more than that. He wanted you to light up his day with that smile of yours all the time. He wanted to you to be his. But he also wanted you to want that—and he doesn’t know where you stand on that front.

“Itto. Manners.” You poke his stomach lightly. “He’s my friend from when I went to visit Inazuma. He may not look it or sound it, but he’s a bit of a cynic.”

“Hmm.” Zhongli hums. “And a demon.”

Itto scowls. “An Oni. Look at the horns.”

“They’re almost shiner than mora. There’s no way I could miss them.” Zhongli retorts. Itto beams, not aware that Zhongli’s comment wasn’t exactly a compliment.

“Thanks, dude. Anyway, Sunshine here says that you’re taking her to the Latern Rite. I myself have an affinity for festivals and music and all that jazz, and she said I could tag along. That alright with you?”

Zhongli hums. “I suppose.” He doesn’t want Itto there. Inviting you to Lantern Rite was his attempt to get you on your own, to talk to you and see whether you share the same feelings, and now it’s been foiled. He can’t even be mad, because the the demon beside you makes you smile. He loves the sound of your laugh, and so, he has to appreciate anyone who makes you do that. “Do you know much about Lantern Rite?”

“Nope. But I am good with festivals. I held a drum-along in Inazuma. The drum was dirt cheap so we made a massive profit. So many people showed up, it was awesome.”

Zhongli raises an eyebrow. “The drum-along? I was told that was a menace to all involved.”

“Li,” You hiss. “Drop it. That’s a sensitive subject.”

“No, no, Sunshine. Let the man speak.” Itto smiles amicably. “I like to know what people are saying about me.”

Zhongli’s eyes flash amber for a second. “I heard nothing else. I do apologise for speaking out of turn, you’re more than welcome to join us tomorrow, Itto. And on that note, would you mind terribly if I stole yn from you?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Itto shrugs. Zhongli nods and turns to walk away.

“Hey Itto,” You grin, chucking your house keys at him. “You know where I live. Make yourself comfortable, I’ll take you out for dinner when I get back.” You wink at him before turning around to catch up with Zhongli. “My treat!”

Itto wants to complain, but you looked so happy at the thought of going out for dinner that he chokes down his disappointment at your being stolen and traipses to your house. How has an old man with creaky knees and a vocabulary straight out of the archon war period managed to fill up your time so thoroughly that you would pick him over Itto?

Zhongli is boring and quiet and judgemental. The sheer opposite of what he is. But at the same time, that makes him the opposite to you, and opposites attract, right? And then he decides to stop himself falling down the self hating wormhole he’s skirting, and makes himself at home in your living room.

“So, Sunshine,” Zhongli chuckles as you walk to the nearest tea shop.

You grin at him, chuckling lightly. “Why did you say it like that?”

“I’m just intrigued by the company you keep,” Zhongli hums. “I never would have expected you to get along so well with a demon.”

“Gods, demons, vision bearers, the visionless… We’re all the same, really, aren’t we?”

“I would argue that gods are a little higher on that pyramid.” He mutters as he pulls out a chair for you to sit on.

“You’re such a jealous little man,” You chuckle. “You can’t even bear to see me with my friend.”

“I am also your friend, and I admit that I often have ulterior motives for wanting to be around you. It’s perfectly natural for me to be suspicious.” he shrugs.

“I’m pretending I didn’t hear that.” You smile. “Anyway, what did you want to show me?”

~~~

Allowing Zhongli and itto to come with you to Lantern Rite was a mistake.

Itto wants to check out all the fun stalls, which you want to do. But Zhongli wants to tell you about the history of the festival, which you also want to do. Watching them try to subtly fight for dominance is too funny for you to keep a straight face throughout.

“Oh come on, old man, Why should I listen to you talk when we could be getting street food? Sunshine, what do you want?”

You cover your mouth to try and stop yourself from laughing at Zhongli’s expression. He looks hilarious. The archon is the picture of placidity, the only giveaway that he’s three seconds away from slicing Itto’s prized horns off being the slight clenching of his jaw.

“I’ll take a kebab, please.” You smile. Itto runs off to get you something to snack on and you turn back to Zhongli, whose eyes soften slightly. “You may continue.”

“I’m struggling to understand why you’ve invited both of us,” He hums. “You clearly know our personalities clash. Why subject yourself to this?”

You don’t answer him straight away. You’re not an idiot—you’re aware that both of them like you, and you might even admit to being guilty of egging them on slightly today. But all in all, you enjoy both of their company. Sure, you could separate them, but you're greedy.

“You’re both hilarious.” You reply finally, turning to look back at the sky.

“We both know you’re a lot smarter than you’d like most to believe.” Zhongli pushes. “You’re fully aware of what’s happening here. Why not put us all out of our collective misery?”

“You want to be put out of your misery?” You ask innocently, turning back to face him properly. He hums lightly. “Then fight for it.” Zhongli clenches his jaw slightly, lost for words. Never in his life has he been told what to do in a way that makes him want to obey, but he supposes there's a first time for everything.

Itto returns with the the kebabs and you take them excitedly, gushing over how fresh they were. “How did you get these so quickly?”

“Trick of the trade. I saw a firework stall thingy. Wanna try it out?”

“Sure!” You beam. You look behind you to check if Zhongli is coming along, but’s he’s disappeared, and you let him go. If that’s the kind of man he is, maybe you're better off not bothering. “Let’s go.”

You go around the stalls, dancing with the musicians and trying out all the delicacies on your way to make the fireworks. By the time you make it there, the sun is beginning to set, and Zhongli still isn’t back. You genuinely didn’t think he’d just give up.

“What colour should I pick?” you mutter to yourself. “Oh, I can’t decide. Where’s Ushi? He always has the answers.”

“I left him in Inazuma. He doesn’t like boats very much.”

“I still can’t believe you took a boat. There are teleport waypoints all across Teyvat.”

“Seeing you after such a long time isn’t the same without a gruelling journey to make me miss you more,” He jokes, patting your head lightly. “Anyway, knowing him, he’d probably suggest brown. You know how he is.”

“Then brown it is,” you smile, pouring the relevant chemicals into the tube. You have zero clue how this works, and neither does Itto. He asks the lady at the stall to explain it, but once she starts bringing up chemicals, his eyes glaze over, and you realise he’s just nodding every twenty five seconds. “Thank you!” he says, once she’s finished. “That was super interesting. I understood every word.”

You swipe away the tear that began to form as a result of how hard you were trying to not burst into laughter. He's trying his best, he really is.

“Come on, come on, I want to see how these look in the air.” He takes your hand. “There’s a spot up there.”

You cross your arms, looking up at the big cliff. “Uh uh. No way. I am not walking all the way up there.”

“What? Why? I’ll carry you. C’mon!”

You shake you head. “My feet hurt and I really cannot be asked. And I know you, you’ll fall asleep at some point and then I will have to drag you back down.”

Itto scratches his head, his face taken over by a thought ful expression. “Okay, new idea. I’ll go up there. Set them off, and then come back down.”

“Or you can just leave her with me, and we can partake in an activity that does not involve cliffs.” Zhongli huffs, holding a lantern in each of his hands. Itto looks at him with scathing disdain.

“Not you again! What is it with you and just swooping in to steal my friend?” Itto stomps his foot in frustration, and once again, you find yourself holding back a laugh. He can be so cute sometimes.

“I simply find activities that yn will enjoy. That is all.” Zhongli crosses his arms, the lanterns before him hovering in the air with a faint golden glow—a subtle reminder of the power he holds.

Itto almost pouts. “Yn, were you enjoying yourself with me?”

“I enjoyed myself plenty.” You quip. “But I really don’t want to go up the cliff. Sorry.”

“Hey, no sweat! Don’t apologise.” He roughs your hair up. “I get it.”

“Well, if you’re done being so gracious, yn and I will be on our way.”

“Now, when did she say you could take her?” Itto scowls, crossing his arms. “You do realise she’s like a whole human and everything. Being a demoted god or whatever doesn't give you the right to boss her around.”

“I didn’t expect you to stoop so low as to start throwing insults.” Zhongli sighs. “Be honest with yourself, demon. Did you really—”

“I’m plenty honest! More honest than you and your big fancy words that mean nothing.”

You retreat slightly, watching as the two men argue. Or rather, watching as Itto argues. Zhongli’s face is as passive as ever, retaliating with calmly spoken facts that only seem to infuriate him further.

“Are you going to tell him where to get off?” Itto says to you finally, and you snap out of your own, peaceful, thoughts.

“No.” You sigh. “And frankly, this has gone past the point of being funny. I really just wanted to enjoy my festival with both of you, becasue I enjoy your company. The bickering was kind of entertaining at first, but now it’s just boring. Go home or something. Both of you.”

And with that, you leave them in the dust, making your way back home. You’d been too greedy, you decide. They both deserve better than this weird limbo you’ve left them in. So on your way home, you try to make a decision between the two men. Either would have the decency to accept being your friend, so which would you rather be stuck with?

You can’t make up your mind.

When you get home, you flop onto your bed, leaving your decision to wait until the morning. And whilst your dreams are plagued with the dilemma you face in the real world, you wake up with a beautiful clarity that leaves you feeling bright and cheerful.

You get dressed, ready for another day of Lantern Rite festivities, but as you leave your house, you notice two bouquets of flowers at the front door. One is bright and colourful, full of Inazuman flowers and spilling out of its vase, whilst the other is a lot less vivid and put together with slightly more precision.

You chuckle lightly to yourself as you take one of the vases and display it in your front window. And although you feel bad about the arrangement that you leave seated on your porch, you know it’s a decision that you would have had to make eventually.

a/n i am actually proud of myself for getting this done in time, i actually checked this before(!!) i posted it so if there are any errors someone tell me before rin reblogs and then the incorrect version is left to be seen by the world

i tried to make the ending ambiguous but we all know i chose Zhongli right? cause i picked Zhongli. I don't know about you but Zhongli is my favourite. Literally i love h

#zhongrin.elementalsupercharge #as usual i went slightly off prompt #when i picked characters i forgot that Zhongli's the type to not engage and then randomlyremind you your cat died just to get you to shut u #and itto's the type to argue with a brick wall #anyway i hope this is suitable and not too long #seriously i have not written this much in ages #i am exhausted so goodnight #zhongli fluff #zhongli #itto #itto genshin impact #itto fluff

[larcenywrites]

Praising the Narcissist

young!Tony Stark x fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ content minors DNI, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, scratching, praise kink, body worship

Word Count: 2,828

Admittedly, maybe you weren't the most vocal in bed to begin with- at least in terms of words. But no one could blame you for not being able to form a proper thought when you were being fucked into the mattress, and Tony talked enough for the both of you anyway. He was a very... self-assured person, and practically- no, literally praised himself (whether it was on your behalf you weren’t sure). He knew how good he made you feel and let you know as if you weren't the one taking it, and you figured that the noises he pulled from you were enough confirmation for him anyway. But now that you thought about it, you wondered if he was trying to coax you into saying it yourself or simply just being dominant (or conceited, which probably applied either way). He definitely had a thing for being the center of your attention, so it wasn't at all unrealistic to think he'd want you to praise him in bed, but there was a level of control he probably wouldn't let you have over him just yet, so you weren't sure what direction he would take you in. If he would at all.

Currently, he was leaned pretty far down against the bed's headboard, arms crossed and starting to fall asleep by the looks of it. His head drooped to the side, and he actually looked calm for once. You figured you probably shouldn't disturb him, but as you took in his tight arms and that waistband that was riding way too low and showing off his hips and the trail of hair leading down, you realized you wouldn't be able to let it go anytime soon. He had probably been waiting on you to finish up whatever you were working on at his desk anyway (and waiting for you to notice him), so he probably wouldn't mind if you were to slip over and start something. 

You decide to give him a surprise, removing your clothes and going over to carefully straddle his lap, and you could tell he was only wearing sweatpants. You cupped his face in your hands and ran your thumbs over his brow and around his cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked up at you, smiling at your sudden affection and lazily glancing you over. You ran your hands through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp as you reached his neck. He rolled into your touch, briefly closing his eyes again. 

"You're always so handsome, Tony," you cooed as you traced his jaw with your fingers. He looked at you curiously, corners of his lips upturning. You leaned forward to capture his lips with yours. You could tell that he was still in a tired state (or dazed) by the few seconds it took for him to kiss back, but he soon followed your slow rhythm, moving to languidly brush his fingertips up and down your arms.

"I love how you kiss me," you said lowly against his lips, giving him a few more open-mouthed smooches and moving the tip of your tongue with his before trailing his jaw. He was already relaxing under you, letting you take care of him- at least for a moment. "How your lips feel on my skin." You sucked on his skin as you made your way down to gently bite below his ear. "How they feel on my thighs before you eat me out," you whispered into his ear, hearing his breathing pick up and a heavy exhale.  You bit along the shell of his ear before coming back to face him. He looked at you with dark eyes and brought his hands to your waist. You smiled and dragged your grip along his shoulders and biceps. "And you're always so strong," you continued as you reached his hands, feeling his grip tighten.

"Flattery's nice, but it won't get you where you want to go," he said cautiously, definitely awake now. 

"And where exactly do you think I'm going?" You smiled playfully and shifted down, making him release his grip on you and trailing your lips and tongue down his chest to his waist, feeling him twitch under you.

"I haven't decided yet," he breathed, eyes trained on your every move. You looked up at him, flattening your tongue only inches away from his growing erection. "Well, luckily, Tony, you don't get to decide." His eyes narrowed, and you could see the challenge in his eye. You could already tell he wouldn't be giving in the way you wanted. 

"I just want to treat you as good as you treat me," you said innocently and bit at the skin still wet with your saliva, keeping eye contact. He smirked at that last part, moving a hand to your face. 

"I do treat you so good, don't I?" He traced his thumb over your lower lip, dragging it down. You moved to bite along his stomach, running your hands up the sides of his waist. 

"You're so hot, Tony," you breathed against his skin and licked along the waistband of his sweatpants. "You're all I think about." You started to undress him, hearing him panting. "Good," he said firmly, kicking his pants off the bed. "I'm the only thing you should ever be thinking about." You purposefully ignored where he wanted you most, opting to leave wet kisses along his inner thighs and all around the base. He whined in disapproval, and that noise always got him what he wanted from you. 

You wetly mouthed up the side of his length, kissing and licking around the head. He moaned from his throat as you licked up the underside of him a few times, pressing a bit harder under his head before finally taking it past your lips with an audible suck. You purposefully got sloppier as you sucked and massaged more into your mouth, letting your saliva drool down his shaft and slurping at the excess spit and trail that connected you to him every time you rose back up. 

"I love sucking your dick," you panted yearningly and placed a loud kiss to the tip before taking him back into your throat in one smooth motion, smiling around him at the sound of his head hitting against the board behind him and his low groan as you bobbed your head faster while staying lower on his shaft. 

"I fuckin' know it, baby, you love my dick so much," he softly groaned, keeping your head still and fucking into you. You moaned, and let him use you, firmly pushing your tongue against whatever you could reach and swallowing when your nose brushed the hairs of his pubic bone. You knew he was close by the way his low noises were growing louder and the way he fully pressed you against him every so often. You tapped his arm, and he obediently let you go, still shallowly thrusting as you rose off of him. "I want you to cum in me," you innocently pleaded with him before he could protest, taking note of the annoyed expression he gave you. You climbed up to him, ghosting your lips over his and caressing his neck, ready to do damage control. "I love when you cum in me, Tony," you whimpered against his mouth, knowing exactly what you were doing to him as he sighed heavily against your lips and drifted his hands to harshly palm at your ass. He kissed your lips harshly but slowly, nipping at you a few times. You felt his hand slide down into your thigh, and you sat back to give him better access. 

"Fuck, you're so wet," he breathed, spreading your arousal over your clit and around your folds. 

"You make me this wet, Tony." You started grinding on his hand, catching your clit on the slope of his palm. 

"I know, baby, just for me," he whispered, half-distracted, watching you get off without him even moving his hand. You gyrated your hips, a hand on his thigh for support. Two fingers carefully found their way into you, curling into your g-spot but not moving. You squirmed a bit to find a good angle, able to stimulate your bud and rock back into his fingers with at least a little more pressure than he was giving you. You hummed relief, grabbing onto his forearm and grinding a bit harder when you found it. Tony bit his lip as he watched you start moaning on his hand, knowing you were close. Just as you started to speed up, he smoothly slipped away from you, leaving you unsatisfied and squirming against nothing. You looked at him, giving him your best pout but ultimately knowing what was coming. He was good at holding grudges. 

"I want you to cum around me," he said too innocently, throwing your earlier sentiment back to you, corners of his mouth barely upturning in a mocking smile before licking your wetness from his fingers. It was painfully clear who still controlled the narrative as you stared back at him. Those same two fingers tapped your inner thigh, directing you to lift up and angle yourself with his awaiting cock. He pushed the head into your entrance, stroking himself a few times and purposefully pushing his hand against your clit with every upward stroke before retreating to your thighs to let you take over. You lowered in one smooth, slow motion. Not once stopping to adjust or taking a moment to feel and whine as you usually did, as if you were trying to prove a point. But whatever point you wanted to make was lost on him. He watched you take him, lips parted and sighing in contentment as he kept your thighs in his harsh grip. 

You couldn't help but finally sigh in bliss at the way he stretched you, your body involuntarily shifting around to displace the hard pressure pressing into you. "You always feel so good inside me," you softly moaned, but he could tell your words were a bit less enthusiastic that time as you were too busy keeping yourself pressed to his hips and rocking against him. You'd hoped for at least a simple comment or a hum, to be communicating to him how deep he was and how full he made you feel. You licked your lips and looked up at him through your lashes, not even being met with his brown eyes or a pleased grin. 

"Then prove it," he only said, a bit cynically, feeling challenged by your lack of noise and distracted tone. Those eyes lingered where you were connected with him for another second or two before flicking up to yours. His glare stopped you for a moment, and his aloof facade faltered when he started to smile. It only made you want to push further, even though that was what he wanted. He was always one to provoke you. 

You lightly trailed your hands up to his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped indents in his skin as you started an aggressive pace, giving neither of you time to ease into the feeling. His hands gave your thighs a reassuring grope before trailing up your front. You lolled your head to the side, leaning into his touch as he held your face in his hands and let you do all the lifting. You easily let yourself get lost in ecstasy, and Tony couldn't help but admire how beautiful you always looked like this: lips parted and eyes closed while you nestled against his palm. How he loved to watch you like this for as long as he could, but now that he'd finally had you so verbal (and so focused on him and his... performance), he couldn't help himself but to drag you out of your trance. He wanted his turn again.

"Talk to me (Y/N)," he panted and harshly dug his nails into your hips, trying to get your attention back on him. The sensation caught you off guard, and Tony's hips stuttered at the way you suddenly tightened, giving you several slower but rough thrusts. You cried out a string of moans, digging into his shoulders again. He grunted, finding his previous pace and gently grabbing your jaw to make you look back up at him. Your lips were parted as you continued to give him small moans between your panting, and you struggled to keep your eyes open. "I make you feel so good, don't I?" You whimpered at his words and nodded, only focused on chasing after your high as he brought you closer to the edge. And if anyone could get jealous of their own dick, it was Tony. His grip on your jaw tightened and pulled you closer to him, and he leaned forward to meet you. "I thought you wanted to let me know how good I fucked you," he harshly said through bared teeth, as if offended that you hadn't properly answered him yet. 

"You do, Tony," you reassured him with a whine against his lips, feeling his tongue dart against your bottom lip. "You're always so good to me."

"That's fucking right. You have it so good with me," he panted into your mouth, smiling proudly against your lips when you nodded. 

"I love being yours." You sighed it lovingly, totally blissed out and feeling him kiss along your nose and cheeks.

"Then show me," he whispered against the corner of your lips, almost desperately. He dragged your hands from his shoulders and down his chest, and you knew what he wanted. You eagerly complied, digging into his shoulders where your other crescent shapes still resided until you heard him grunt, knowing you'd found the pressure he could take right now. His grip on your hips was bruising when you harshly trailed down his chest, trying to move a little so you could claw outwardly from his abs to his hips. He threw his head back against the headboard, giving you a long groan and writhing under you. You scratched back up to his shoulders with a much lighter pressure and nudged your fingers between him and the board, trying to coax him to sit up a little and give you access to his shoulder blades, knowing that was one of his more sensitive spots. He leaned forward and awkwardly shifted to sit up more manageably for both of you, and admittedly, his compliance was empowering. You traced the spine between his shoulders before steadily clawing outwards. He loudly hummed and dropped his head against your shoulder and tightly encircled his arms around your back and waist. You didn't realize how slow the pace had become until he dug his own nails in and harshly dove into you, giving a low and heavy moan into your neck when you frantically clawed up his shoulder blades as if to hold onto something. You cried out loudly, feeling the heat in your core ready to snap again, and you started to stutter in meeting his thrusts. "Tony, you're gonna make me cum," you whined into his ear. 

"You always cum so good on my cock." This time it wasn't said so harshly, but more as a whisper of affirmation. "Just let go for me." You sighed and weakly melted against him, grateful when he didn't press you further and took over. He groaned and nipped at your neck, finding a new speed that finally broke you. You cried out in broken moans, nearly flattening against him and trying to push him closer to you. He soon followed your lead. The sting on his skin and the way your walls seemed to suck him in further and how you were cradling him against your neck and knowing how good he did for you- it all pushed him over the edge, cumming hard inside you and biting into your shoulder with a throaty whine. You hummed shakily and lolled your head against his as he continued to slowly push into you, trying to press into you deeper even though he was already buried to the hilt. 

He gently leaned back against the headboard, shifting to almost be on his back and working his way out of you. You gave a small grunt at his exit and already felt both of your releases leaking at your opening as your walls clenched a few more times from the emptiness. He gently pulled you down, coaxing you to relax against his chest. You weren't sure if you'd ever catch your breath as you panted a bit more than usual, not used to doing much of the dirty talk. 

"Honestly, Tony, I don't see how you're always so talkative during all of that," you joked, still panting slightly. It was much harder work than you'd thought. He placed a kiss to your temple.

"Well, my favorite topic is me, so it's not too hard," he retorted, giving a toothy grin when you looked up at him apathetically. He breathed a laugh and dragged you up to him as you feigned resistance. You accepted his gentle kiss, his hands on your face.

"And you too, of course."

#tony stark #tony stark smut #tony stark x reader #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark x fem!reader #tony stark x female reader #tony stark one shot #tony stark imagine #fanfic

[etherealbelphie]

What Was It Again...?(Ft. Mammon and GN!MC)

Warnings: Dehumanizing behavior towards MC, Mammon's a little mean in this one sorry :(

Length: 0.8k words

Genre: Angst, hurt, fluff, comfort, chaotic.

Hiatus is officially over! I basically never left, but...it's official now :3 I'm going to try and get back to posting one solid fic/chapter a week, but take this for now!

Based on my headcanon that Mammon kept forgetting MC's name, which is why he constantly referred to them as 'human' instead. I don't think this calls for many warnings, but as always, if I should add some, please let me know! Hope you enjoy!

-Ethereal (✿◡‿◡)

Story below, please don't claim as your own!

You’d been in the Devildom less than a week, and unsurprisingly, you wanted to go home.

Even though they had brought you here, your roommates/landlords/kidnappers didn’t seem to want you here either, which made the whole situation even stranger. 

The first few days, most of the brothers would always talk at you, or about you, but never to you. Satan had taken to rubbing his fingers together to get your attention, like you were a cat. Beelzebub had once taken you out of a chair and placed you on the floor so he could have your spot.

Even though you were a representative of the human world, the entire experience was rather dehumanizing.

It’s not like everything instantly changed when you made a pact with Mammon, but at the very least, they seemed to realize you were a sentient being. It was the small things, like them saying good morning to you when you entered the dining room for breakfast.

Bit by bit, things were starting to get better.

“Oi, human!” Well, most things. It was weird, really. From what little you understood about this world, a pact meant you basically owned Mammon. You didn’t want to own him, nor would you ever treat him as if you did, but some mutual respect would be nice.

Meanwhile, he wouldn’t even use your name.

“Coming,” you answered, standing up. You grabbed your bag off the back of the chair and followed him out of the dining room. You hadn't even been in the Devildom for a week, so you still weren’t trusted to go anywhere by yourself.

Well, that’s not quite right. It was more a lack of trust in other demons to leave you alone.

“Are ya ready for RAD?” He asked, pushing the door open for the both of you.

“I guess. Thanks,” you said absentmindedly.

“Whaddya mean, you guess? The great Mammon’s gonna be with ya all day! You oughtta show a little more enthusiasm, human!”

If you tried to match his level of enthusiasm, you'd burn out almost instantly.

“Uh-huh... Um, actually can I ask you something?” You asked distractedly.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Um…would you mind calling me by my name please?” You asked, coming off much more timid than you intended.

“What?”

“My name? Would you mind using it? Instead of human?” You repeat.

“Call you…by your name?” He paused a second, then burst out laughing. “Pfft, now why would I do a thing like that?”

“I call you by your name, don’t I?”

“It’s not the same!”

“…why not?”

“I’m a demon, and you’re a human!” He was still laughing, as if it was the most ridiculous idea he’d ever heard.

While that was true, he was also a demon you happened to have complete control over. You’d used the pact once before then, on behalf of Levi, but other than that you pretty much left it alone. But how was using it to ask him to use your name any less petty than using it to get money back?

“Mammon, I asked you to call me by my name, and you will. Understood?”                 

He cut off midlaugh, freezing in place. Presumably, the pact was going into affect.

“U-u-ugh, understood!” He finally said, sighing in relief as he was able to move again. However, you weren’t quite satisfied.

“Understood, who?”

“Understood…huma-ugh…argh…”

“Are you seriously fighting it that much? Why are you so adamant on not using my name?”

“I-ugh…hu-“ He struggled to get the words out again.

“Do you really hate me that much?” You asked softly, loosening your grip on him.

“Ugh, it’s not that!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

“Whatever," you muttered, walking ahead of him.

"I can't use your name!"

"Why not?" You asked again, not really expecting an answer.

“I can't because I don't know what it is!"

"Huh?" You stopped dead, and he almost crashed into you. You turned to face him.

"I...don't know what it is," he repeated.

You stared at him. “…Actually?”

"Yeah!" Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, I was late to the student council meeting, and I missed Lucifer introducing you. I know you introduced yourself at some point, but like, I forgot. And it's been like, three days at this point-"

You cut him off, telling him your name. His jaw dropped.

"That's your name?"

"Yes!" You answered, unable to keep from smiling. "Who's did you think it was?"

"I dunno, one of Levi's newest anime crushes or something?"

"Why would Lucifer address me as one of Levi's anime crushes?" You pressed.

"I-I don't know!" he exclaimed, though by that point he'd started laughing too. "Lucifer's weird!"

"Oh, geez!" You exclaimed, starting to walk again. You didn't want to be late.

Being weird must run in the family, you think, though you didn't mean it as an insult.

You stole a glance at the man beside you. His cheeks were tinted slightly pink from the initial embarrassment.

Maybe he wasn't as bad as you'd originally thought.

#obey me #obey me fanfiction #obey me mammon #obey me platonic #obey me mammon x mc #it can be read as either-

[rayshippouuchiha]

Okay so, feel free to not answer this one, it's,, kinda heavy, i think? and a bit long. also, sorry about just dropping this here, it's just been weighting on me for at least a couple of years?

So, i'm 21, and like, a big lurker in fandom spaces, and with the ships I ship I sometimes see the "these kind of ships are only okay if you're a csa survivor" stuff, which,, bullshit, but always makes me go "is that,, me? does what happened to me count?" and like, i'm aware that just needing to ask that probably means the answer to that is yes, but I've always shied from thinking about myself that way? The term survivor feels heavy, i guess, like it needs to cross a threshold before the thing counts? Which, logically I know is not how that works, but still

It was just like, this one time I was staying at my great aunt's with my parents for like the 1000th time, I loved going over there, she and her husband had dogs and we'd have breakfast together and hang out doing stuff in the garden. But then this one time when I was like,, 13?? I was pretending to be asleep to read fanfic under the covers after bedtime (I was sleeping in a pullout couch in the living room) and my aunt's husband,, kinda groped me? I don't think he realized I was awake, but I froze and just did my best to pull away quietly and then he stopped and left, and I just,, never mentioned it to anyone in my family because I didn't want anyone to fight?? I've been very nervous about raised voices since I was little

After the fact we just left and anytime my parents mentioned visiting I'd try my best to get out of it, by coming up with like reports or homework I had to do over the weekend, and if I couldn't get out of going I'd just stay put in the room I usually slept in or go out with my parents just to have minimum contact with my uncle, which meant like, hugging him hello and goodbye when we got there and when we left, and sometimes accompanying him to gather wood for the fireplace

Anyways, for unrelated motives my parents and I moved to another entire continent right after I turned 16, and then a while later he got sick and died, and hearing everyone lamenting his death and saying that he was such a good man stung like a bitch, even though I*know* i specifically didn't mention it to anyone in my family to avoid any tension. Sometimes I wish I did say something? But like, we moved away *and* he's dead and nobody's even mentioned him in a long time so I don't really see the point? It's a weird thing, and I don't want my parents to ask why I didn't say anything earlier bc they'd get sad, i think

I do have a couple of people to talk to. My friends have gotten really angry on my behalf a few times now, and I love them. Still, it's a weird thing where I don't really want to think about it but also I know it's a thing that really affected me? Still, the term 'csa survivor' feels like it should go for,, heavier things, worse things

Sorry again for just,, dropping this here, just.. talking about it helps a bit, i think?

Oh darling this is a heavy one indeed.

Look, I'm going to be real with you.

What you feel about this uncle is valid. It doesn't matter that it was only once, it doesn't matter that it was "just a grope", it doesn't matter that it didn't progress, it doesn't matter that you were able to avoid him afterward.

He assaulted you. Point blank. He was an adult family member you should have been able to trust and he touched you in a way he should have never even thought to touch you.

I am so grateful that it never progressed, that you were able to stay away from him as much as possible and that he never touched you like that again but the fact remains that you should have never had to deal with that. The burden, the fear, of that kind of thing should have never been placed on you. He broke a trust with you and in you that could never be replaced and that is and will always be on him.

The title of survivor does feel heavy and I can understand why you wouldn't feel comfortable carrying it. In the end that's your choice and your choice is and should always be what matters most.

I also understand being reluctant to tell your parents, especially since he's dead now. I do have to ask if there were any other children or teenagers he might have also attempted to prey on besides you?

Either way I'm glad you have a support system, I'm glad you have friends you can talk to about it.

#RayRambles #CSA mention #abuse mention

[positivelybeastly]

Dead x men spoilers: Hank x Cecilia crumbs I feel so alive

"Cecilia . . . I should - I should call her. I haven't talked to her in, oh, years."

"Where does all the time go, my friend? It feels as though it was just last year we were . . . and I was . . . ah."

". . . Ah, that's right. How silly of me. I almost forgot. That's where all the time went. I broke it all."

" - But enough being maudlin. I really should call Cecilia, see how she's doing. Perhaps she'll want to go out for dinner, see a show. That'd be nice. Really, quite nice . . ."

So, Dead X-Men #3 - and you weren't kidding, these are crumbs.

But. I can't lie, I love seeing what seems to be cat Hank again - I feel like such a hipster sometimes, saying that's my favourite version of him, but it's how I feel - and it's nice to see Foxe remember that Hank is a protective and gentle soul at heart.

Granted, I forget the specifics of Moira's first life, so god knows what happened in that timeline and how it might've affected Hank here, but he looks like a soft boy.

Also, you've just sent me down a rabbit hole, because I knew Hank and Cecilia were a thing, and I was very much in favour because Cecilia is fucking awesome, but I only really knew about the 90s stuff and the occasional hint afterwards!

I was not prepared to find out that Marjorie Liu is a massive Hank/Cecilia shipper and kept finding reasons to call back to it and push them together.

NYX: No Way Home, issue #4, 2008. Bonus points for saying she fucking hates Trish Tilby, and I can only imagine why.

X-23, vol. 3, #13. I have to say, this is one of the fucking single cutest pictures of Hank I've ever seen - Noto draws him with such a wonderful softness and cuddliness to his face, and I adore how happy Cecilia looks in the picture. You really get a sense of warmth from the picture.

Also . . . no less than two pictures in the home, huh, Cece?

Astonishing X-Men #53. Honestly, Liu writes a lovely Hank, and I adore how she handles the softness and warmth that clearly exists between these two?

Hank's historically always been something of a ladies man, but I've never gotten the impression that he ever left his exes on bad terms unless they put him in that position (hello, Trish), and the fact that he and Cecilia have that certain intimacy that speaks to love that could or couldn't slide back into romance is.

It's nice and mature and I like it a lot. And maturity isn't often something I associate with comics, or the X-Men, tbh.

Astonishing X-Men #51.

Finishing each other's sentences? Fond little glances? Mhm-hmm. Uh-huh. Honestly, now I'm a little offended on Cecilia's behalf that she had those token appearances on X-Force and didn't have a stronger reaction to what she saw in that Beast, because the Cecilia I'm seeing here absolutely would not have stood for it, least of all from someone she clearly still holds a torch for.

And, of course, I'd be remiss not to talk about how Claremont saw the two.

Honestly, if we have heroic Hank back now and with the X-Men, who knows, maybe there's a chance. Just need to get Marjorie Liu or another shipper back on deck. :P

#Anonymous #verse: getting by #outofmuffins #blood tw

[bizarrequazar]

A letter from a haizhe to Gong Jun. ❤️💙

This was going around Twitter a bit and had me in tears when I read it, so I wanted to port it over to here as well. Below the cut is an edited mtl, if anyone is willing to give it a proper translation I would be incredibly grateful.

EDIT: Translation by Sheena!

~~

Sending on behalf of: @ 望朱一碗文周2号 (This Haizhe-meimei has been chatting with me at Station B, she is very rational and firm, she has always respected and blessed Mom and Dad, and she has been waiting for the day when innocence comes ♥♥)

A letter from a haizhe to Mr. Gong Jun

My dear brother-in-law, Zhang-ge’s husband, Mr. Gong Jun: Hello! First of all, I would like to say Happy New Year to you and him! From 21 to 23 years old, I don't know how many days and nights have passed. I think, in the passage of time, everyone has changed a lot. Yesterday I watched the conversation between you and the past you, and today I thought of the golden mountains again, in my heart I always feel like something is pressing. The days at the beginning were really dark, and everyone in the situation at that time understood the principle of being wise and safe. I was also thinking while I was sad, at least I should be considerate to you, because he loves you, so I would rather you have nothing to do with it. However, I was wrong. I saw how you looked in August, that face that has always been said to be Nuwa’s grand creation. I lamented many times that your skin  that was usually in good condition was so haggard even with makeup. I even heard them [fans] talk about white hairs. That's when I really understood what it means to say "the belt is getting looser and I will never regret it, and I will be haggard because of Yixiao." White hair, born for a lover. It was October 31, 21, I saw your Weibo. I wondered if the dates and photos were wrong, but a few refreshes told me it wasn't. I felt at that moment, you are really crazy, and you really love him. In those days when there was almost no shadow of him on the whole Internet, I could always see him on your Weibo, those red and blue photos let me understand your affection for him. I thought, it's nice to have someone who loves him. Until this year's golden mountains. I feel your cosmic explosion of love. What I have been afraid of and what I regret is that I’m afraid he will never dare to take travel photos again. I don't want him to be stuck in the quagmire, and I don't want him to live in the shadows all his life. So when I saw that photo of the golden mountains, I felt my tears about to fall——The golden mountains at dawn are beautiful, the sky is bright, and people trapped in the shadows can see the light. I think you two are really crazy, but your love is enough to make people shed tears. I have seen the golden mountains illuminated by the sun, and at the same time witnessed a love that is not limited by the world. I said, what a blessing. Thank you, thank you for loving him, thank you for always being by his side. The journey of life is always taking one step at a time. I hope that in the future, when you look back at every step you take, you can smile calmly. I hope you will be happy forever! @ Gong Jun Simon

#Zhang Zhehan #Gong Jun #junzhe #my zzh posts #my gj posts #the stars and moon shine together

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Yeeting this into the void...

Half vent, half self-expression and the third half is so my few readers followers know what's up with me. But my brain is not a nice place. Tread carefully.

My brain is low-key trying to kill my lately. I don't know how much of this is meds/health issues and how much just stress. My thyroid and estrogen are fighting and that really hurts. I'm doing what I can to mitigate it, but the bottom line is, I don't have anything that works AND is tolerable at an effective dose.

Wednesday, I'm going to the endocrinologist. I have never been to one, despite having hormonal issues my whole life. The only reason I got this referral is my spouse came with me and demanded it on my behalf, and I think my family doctor is borderline senile. I have no idea what that man has told this new doctor who is holding my life in their hands. I've been waiting for this appointment for months. This was the earliest I could get in.

I have issues with at least two hormones and I would hope that the hormone specialist can deal with both, but estrogen - ha ha, that little scamp! - is gendered. I'm so scared that (after I get told to lose weight) I'm gonna hear, "Sorry! We'll have to let the lady doctor who specializes in lady parts deal with your lady hormone, you lady, you."

These two things interact, you see, and I've had trouble absorbing both. I need someone who can deal with that, otherwise I'm going to be playing a three physician game of telephone, where instead of talking to each other, they make ME explain everything - even though they're supposed to have all they need on the computer. It's... I don't have the energy to keep doing that and it's super ineffective.

I don't have anything sexy or cool or simple wrong with me. I didn't even get Agent Orange dumped on me, that happened to my dad and I can't prove it's affecting me. Even though I have never been okay. Ever.

I can't hug people or lean over a table without cringing, 'cos my breast pain goes off at random depending how you hit 'em. Nobody cares. I mean, the love of my life cares, but nobody who is gatekeeping my healthcare cares. It's been this way for years. The gynecologists want me to express my pain in a way that makes sense to them, "hot flashes and night sweats." If it's not that, why would estrogen help? But it does. I've been on more and different versions of it and that helped, and even what I have now is helping. The trouble is, I can't stay on it because of the side effects. The goddamn thyroid hormones help it too! But so far nobody is equipped to do anything with this information. I have to craft a lie like a crow bending a wire into the perfect shape to get a cheeto out of a tube.

I'm in a new place with all new people and I don't know how to operate them. I really don't know how to operate that family doctor, he forgets everything about me as soon as I leave the room. I'm gonna lead with the truth again - unless something goes south real fast - but I don't know what I'll get.

I'm haunted by the suspicion that I'm unfixable. Not just that I need something I'm not getting, but there is no thing. There is no cheeto in the tube. This'll just be my life. Not only will I be sick, but I'll have people treating me like I'm fine, and I'll be expected to act fine. Ha-ha, that's the trouble when you don't look disabled, everyone expects you to act that way too!

Even if I do get better, finally... I'm going to be mad. I am going to be really mad. I rested my shoulder for a week out of desperation - it's been a mess for over a year - and it feels better. It still locks up and hurts if I push it, but I am learning to rest it when it needs a rest. NOBODY told me to rest it, it was always various permutations of working it harder. I am so fucking ANGRY that "a rest" was never on the table for some reason. I had to be in constant pain for going on two years and then come up with a way to help myself. This small level of relief I'm feeling was KEPT from me.

I don't know if even this will last. I don't know if I'm gonna find out typing and drawing is bad for me and I need to limit one of the only things that makes my life worth living.

I've fallen into some very dark holes this last week, and there will be more. Self-harm is always gonna be something that occurs to me, whether to end the pain or just to make my outsides look as screwed up as my insides so I'll be left alone. It is ground into my bones that nobody is going to help me, so that's really all I want when it's very bad, to be left alone. (I've mentioned sometimes I sound like an unholy union of Milo and Mordecai, that's because I am!)

I'm hanging on and trying to be okay. It's just fragile. I keep crashing. It's not that I'm faking being happy, it's that I'm apt to very suddenly not feel that way anymore. Happy is like paint with too much thinner in it. I can layer on a little more, but the base coat keeps leaking through. I'm scared. And I feel so small and dumb and petty to be scared and not wanting to go on when I've been so lucky and have so much. I always find a reason to keep going. I just worry (and I know my spouse does too) that one time I won't.

I need that support system, so I'm going to keep trying to be social too, but it's hard. Web 1.0 is dead and you can't just talk to people on the internet anymore. Best I can do is talk to the internet in general and worry the few people close enough to actually care.

I'm sorry. I'm tryin' to stay safe. It's just precarious right now. This is gonna be a rough week, no matter how it shakes out. I'll end up with new meds, and no idea what they'll do to me.

Respect to Our Emily, but my hope isn't light enough for feathers. It's heavy like lead, that's why I can't always hold on to it.

Nevertheless, I've nothing to do but keep tryin' to get that cheeto out of the tube. Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice, but to soldier on...

(Well, as long as the shoulder holds up, I can write and art to distract myself. I'm sure I'll get Erik out of that hotel room soon.)

#tw my brain is broken and I'll break yours too #psi 5 #i'm okay it's just gonna be a crap week you don't hafta click

[buffyandwillow]

Saw you ship Buffy with every minor female character in the show 😂 and, though she isn’t minor by any means (this is just a rare pair) now I gotta ask: Buffy/Anya? 😊

LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE RARE PAIR. *coughs* I mean what I'm totally normal about them. (Here's an obligatory self-rec of my post-series Buffy x ghost!Anya fic.)

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

What made you ship it?

They're my two favourite BtVS characters and I want them to kiss, that's it, that's all.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

OK, first of all, they're arguably the two scoobies that get along the least well. You could say, arguably, that they often do not get along at all, or even particularly like each other. Does that matter? No.

To point out a few canon tidbits I really enjoy:

one, Anya helps to resurrect Buffy. Of the four scoobs who participate in the spell, Anya 100% seems like the one who be level-headed about it, who would attempt to talk the others out of it. She knows there are risks. She knows, I am sure, that their decision is being fueled by emotion rather than reason. And she goes along with it anyway, because she misses Buffy too.

two, Anya helps to care for Dawn. Yes, at first it's only because of Xander, but she grows to have a real affection for her. When Anya finds out that Dawn has been stealing from the Magic Box, she's hurt - not because of the money, but because she feels personally betrayed. And helping to care for Dawn = helping for and caring for Buffy, by extension. They're part and parcel. (On that note, I also love that Anya grew to care for Joyce - I love that she loves Buffy's family.)

three, Buffy's a bridesmaid in Anya's wedding party. They're not personally close, except that they are. They'll always participate in each other's most important life events.

four, in Restless, in Buffy's dream, she looks over at Willow's bed in their dorm room, and it's Anya there, and Anya tells her to wake up. I DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THIS, but Anya's wake-up call was a warning (the First Slayer was preparing her attack), and I like the idea that Anya can be that for Buffy - a wake-up call, a tether to reality.

five, Anya is a thousand-year-old demon who mains and punishes men on behalf of wronged women. Buffy has been wronged a few times. Basis for ship? Basis for ship. Also Buffy clearly has a thing for demons who've been around the block at least a couple hundred years.

six, all the other little things. Anya is the one who suggests a spell Buffy can use to help her find what's wrong with her mom. She (and Tara and Xander) want to help Buffy in s6 by spending more time with her. They have movie nights together. Dance-y times at the Bronze. Scooby research sessions. Scooby apocalypse sleepovers. THERE'S CONTENT HERE, I SWEAR.

one last thing. There is one quality about their canon relationship that is so indescribably interesting, and I'm going to try to put it into words here as best I can. Buffy is the Slayer, and with that role comes certain duties. Anya is/was a vengeance demon, and with that role comes (very different) duties. In Selfless, Buffy goes to kill Anya, and Xander/Willow are horrified, but Anya... Anya doesn't take it personally at all. Anya doesn't go, hey, we're friends, you wouldn't do this to your friend!. Anya recognizes that Buffy is the Slayer and she's doing what she must. An understanding exists between them. And THEN. In the next episode, they've both moved completely past the fact that Buffy stuck her sword through Anya. Buffy goes to see how Anya is doing, and saves her life from a would-be assassin sent by D'Hoffryn. She tells Anya that she doesn't want her friends ('friends' very much including Anya) alone right now. There are no lasting grudges between these two. There is no jealousy or resentment or paranoia or any of the other little things that lurk in the background of pretty much every scooby relationship. So, in that regard. well. I just think they're neat.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I dream about a world where enough people ship Buffy/Anya that popular opinions exist.

Anyway, I think that the inconsistencies in the writing of both Anya and vengeance demons is a bummer overall, although tbh this opinion is probably only unpopular with Joss Whedon.

#beatriceeverytuesday1 #buffy x anya #SORRY THIS GOT LONG BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN EVEN LONGER