#at least now i'm a bit used to it

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

#like imagine if i asked you ab your fav character and then i said i hated them and proceeded to insult them #wouldn't that irritate you even just a bit and maybe even come to their defense? #like why would you be offended when they're not even real lmaoo #they're fictional and won't get offended but if you love that character then YOU might feel offended and maybe even defend them #ok now take that situation and put it into this context #except it's much more meaningful bc it's about representation #just a random thought #i'm not against shipping him or finding him attractive (bc same LMAO) or the fanart btw #i just hate it when people use bs excuses to justify their obvious dismissal & indifference towards aro/ace rep #like at least acknowledge his identity :(( #sorry for the long ass rant and if some parts don't make sense i'm not in the best mood rn lol #and i've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while #didn't know double standards were a thing when it came to representation.... #but here we are #alastor #aroace alastor #aroace #asexual #aromantic #asexuality #aromanticism #arospec #aspec #alastor hazbin hotel #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #aroacespec #queer

[chut-je-dors]

Now I'm curious cause of your tag. What did Swedish media say about the eurovision thing?

Oof yeah, here's a post detailing it ... here another... Basically they've absolutely flipped over the fact that Finnish public didn't give Loreen points at all (which I find absolutely hilarious) and suddenly started wielding such rhetoric as "the former eastern part of our kingdom" referring to Finland, which is???? like??? do I even need to say how Not Okay that is?

It might seem to some that the Finnish people are reacting to Sweden's (unfair) win and them being sore winners (which, points to them, I didn't know was possible!) with too much drama, but it's all tied to our history together. Finland has traditionally seen itself, and has been seen by other countries (Sweden included) as the sort of "little brother" to the more advanced, better-faring, glorious Sweden. While Sweden to my knowledge doesn't much care about what Finland gets up to (perhaps overlooking/ignoring us and our merits), Finland is always comparing itself to Sweden and trying to live up to it. It's a very common rhetoric and sort of, the atmosphere over here. We know more about Sweden than Sweden knows about us; we're constantly conscious that Sweden exists. Sweden gets talked about in international news; Finland, if mentioned, is often tied to - you guessed it - being Sweden's neighboring country.

We used to be part of Sweden for 600 years. During that time, Swedish was implemented as the language of the culture and the "civilised" whereas the finns living in the eAstErn pArT oF tHe kiNgDoM were seen as "wild" and "uncivilised" and just, generally a lesser people to the Swedish speaking population. We haven't been under Sweden's rule for some 200 years and STILL we can't seem to shake their influence on us. Swedish is still a mandatory language to learn at school (and I have many opinions on that, but that'd be another post). Finnish as a language has been disregarded for its whole existence. Our leading national thinkers and poets in the 19th century, who were the first ones to really push for the Finnish identity instead of us seeing ourselves as part of Sweden or Russia, wrote in Swedish. The first novel in Finnish was published in 1870.

So this is monumental to us, to have the whole word watching Finland and not Sweden. Finland has a lot of merits, especially considering how small a people we are (just 5,5mil). To have a song in our language, in Finnish be this popular, is something we couldn't have imagined. We as a people are humble to the extreme, so much that we might easily scorn anyone who is too successful (not a good thing!), and this is the first time in my life that I'm seeing the whole country rally behind someone like this. When we say "Our Jere" we mean it with our whole hearts. We're so so proud of him, everyone is, and for once Finnish people seem to think in unison that someone deserves all the praise and the success.

SO, to have Sweden in this UNIQUE moment of Finland raising its head and being "we're so amazing", with the rest of Europe going "yes you're so amazing!!", spew rhetoric like this, is just, unbelievable to me. Like I can't just believe that in the 21st century there are people in Sweden who hold up 200 year old thought patterns of our country. It's been shocking 'cos though there's always been rivalry, it's felt more... tongue in cheek. We "love to hate" Sweden over here. It's been "I hate Sweden (affectionate)". But now we find this unbelievably condescending and belittling attitude towards us raising its head, and we wonder, we thought we two were okay?? But have they always held these beliefs???

So there's a sense of betrayal in the air as well. And just, full on disbelief. And maybe we're starting to see that it has been like this all along, but we've decided to turn a blind eye to it? True colours shining through? Perhaps not... but yeah.

Sweden not looking good here!

(here's one more post that says the same that i did but was better at making it SHORT oops)

#eurovision #finland #sweden #käärijä #loreen #look i have nothing against loreen or individual swedish people #i don't believe most swedes would think like this! #still to have something like this in a piece of media over there is... wild #and somewhat telling? #welp #bit of a long answer but there's more to this mess than just what's happening now #it's 800 years of shared history that we understand without it needing to be said #at least i think so! #if anyone has anything to add/discuss please go ahead! #anonymous #answered #the finnish people have a forever inferior complex when it comes to sweden and now the one time the world actually sees us sweden's like #'such dumb people :( we won look at our trophy. stop celebrating the circus act' #they're just jealous we have the crazy we have the party #:) <3 i wrote this cos i'm hiding from work heheh #esc23 #suomi

[front-facing-pokemon]

#demifiendcruithne this one is for you. i don't even know if this is your favorite pokémon but when i see it i think of you bc of your icon #lordy this blog is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. apparently we've exited the era of models Just Working for me and now #i have to spend hours tinkering with them just to get the eyes to show up and even then they don't look nearly as good as they used to #when they Just Worked #the alolan forms are kicking my ass. and i even tried to use the swsh models for these guys since i assumed those would work #but now i'm finding out that the Entirety of gen 8 is going to be even more difficult on me #dunno how much longer i can keep up This act unless i find some way to make this easier on me #alolan meowth #update from the future: incredible thanks to jodie-blend here on tumblr for her endless kindness in helping me figure out how to do #this at least a little bit easier. they'll still look a little bit different but at least this has me covered for gen 9 #but for cases like alolan rattata and raticate i'm still fucked. also gen 8 i'm still fucked #but. the complaining above is now a little bit more bearable

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol

#it's obvious who's is who's since they match their outfits HOWEVER.. consider if they were switched lol #evil villain looking man carrying around pressed flowers in a cutesy lacy pouch #fantasy costume #what's in my bag #actualyl that would have been funny to make a video. I should make a video #I'm sure someone else has already done this #but like.. lifestyle vlogger type content however I'm dressed in fully costume as some weird elf or something #pulling things out of my bag and showing them to the camera and talking about how they're useful for whatever #but it's all fantasy scenarios and talking like it's very common #'and of course. i know it's a bit cliche #EVERY traveler has one of these. but you know. theyre just useful! thats why everyone has one!' *pulls out a completely unrecognizable item #thats like some weird fantasy world prop and doesn't even explain it because In-world it's normal and wouldnt need to be talked about* #'room tour' video and it's just like 'yeah I sleep on this mat under a bunch of trees uh.. over here by these rocks. at least right now. I #kind of wander around a bit. so' #Like a clothing haul but it's a potions shop haul or something and they ramble about some obscure drama in the potions community and how the #y hard to barter and steal and entire flock of sheep or something just to get one of them. etc. etc. #I could do ones for different characters too like. multiple people from different walks of life showing what they carry around with them. #just like this but more interview sort of vlog format instead of photos #This is where not having much money and not having my own house with land becomes an issue though #I think it would take you out of the illusion if the background was always the same. I can make small sets because there's one blank wall in #a room that it's easy to move all the stuff away from in front of and clear a spot and like hang up fabrics or whatever but still.. hmms #So one of those 'fun idea but dubious about handling the execution' things. also One Of Those Things where without looking it up you're 100% #sure it's already been done and you don't want to look weird since it's vaguely niche. Like if 100 people have done something it's fine but #if only like 3 other people have then you look weird maybe ghhjbj.. or only one other person gods forbid. looks even weirder potentially #Or do people not care about ''copying'' anymore?? idk. I'm not updated with the internet's changing culture. I just have a fear of accidenta #lly doing something like that and then people getting mad even though it's really just that I competely had no idea it had been done because #again.. I live under a rock and am unaware of everything lol. ANYWAY. also would require my face being on video which I don't like. Though I #would be in costume so that helps. I think to be fully comfortable I'd need light modifications to make my face look different. which isn't #hard but is more effort when it has to be translatable in multiple angles. ANYWAY. ghjbhj... Now I think it would be funny actually. maybe #one day. I haven't made any videos (aside from on the gameplay/sims channel) in a long long time actually. hmm'st

[waitineedaname]

"Amestris is an allegory for nazi Germany" you fool. Amestris is not an allegory for just nazi Germany -- it's an allegory for genocidal, fascist, militaristic governments as a whole. Yes, it has parallels to fascist Europe, but it also has parallels to xenophobic militaristic US and imperialist Japan. The point is not "look at this outlier of a country committing atrocities," the point is that the country committing atrocities might be your country and you might be complicit in it no matter how morally upstanding you might think you are. To act like only one government is capable of committing genocide blinds you to the potential that any other government might commit genocide too.

#fma #im writing this at 11pm bc i was thinking about it so hard i couldnt sleep #i havent seen 03 but the nazi germany thing bugs me and i think this is why #like yes the parallels to germany are VERY clear #but also the bit where ishvalan soldiers were being rounded up immediately reminded me of the japanese internment camps in the us #and the oppression of the ishvalans is at least somewhat inspired by the oppression of the ainu in japan #the point is that it's COMPLICATED #this series is basically You Are Not Immune To Propaganda #anyway. stepping off my soapbox now. #im putting this in my drafts and i'll give it another read tomorrow to see if i should post it #<- it's been almost a week now and I'm finally releasing this from my drafts #it's a hot take but I'm gonna say it anyway #fma posting

[sysig]

Utterly Defeated (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #<Sticking to my tag so they're all together ♥ #Dexter Favin #Max Vyer #But really that's ZEX in there! What's left of him anyway ;; #ZEX #Hhhhhhh it was so goooood and saaaaad <3 <3 #Helix is a tragedy - on repeat in my mind ad infinitum #I made most of these upon initially reading - and then I had to sit on them through all of October!! Can you imagine the impatience?? #I've been absolutely chomping at the bit for these hhhhh feelings!!! So many!!! Max's eyes and ZEX being behind his single remaining ;; #Dex wanting him to be safe and knowing he used to and now he can't offer it anymore I jifdsahfdjsaf #Have I mentioned I love them lately I love them <3 <3 All of them! Dex and Max and ZEX! And DAX I'm sure ZEX misses him so badly #In a way it was good that I had a bit more time to set it down and come back - I reread it very recently hehe <3 #I still get teary at some scenes ah </3 It's so beautifully sad #But it also gave me some time to finish ZEX starting to shape the word ''Max'' and then back off it ahhhh it hurts!! #The rest were at least all lined at the time - came back in to tone some recently but they were all ''finished'' October 1st ah #Especially of Dex waking ZEX to call him by his title hhh they both just want peace so badly but it looks so different to both of them #Lingering on his scar and then carding through his hair <3 Comfort and softness and it's all not enough #His scar is quite fun to draw as well ah - scars tend to be like that haha ♪ The stitches and discolouration give it a unique look! #And the way his hair pulls back from it ah #I had a lot of fun with his hair hiding his bandaged eye as well - just barely peeking out always just enough of a reminder #And all his lying-down poses - his hair is fun to pose like that as well #One of the original Landel doodles of ZEX talking about what Hell would look like for a VUX really struck me as well #Dex can't help him in so many ways ehn </3 He wants to! But he wants Max and he just can't have him anymore #Hhhh it was such a good read <3 <3 <3 Thank you again to Zarla it really made and still makes me happy to read it ahhh ♥♪ #Now that I've (finally!) gotten my thoughts out I can read the other!! Yay!!

[silverware-is-interesting]

some undertale yellow (and undertale i guess-) doodles and other drawings

#silverware's art #undertale yellow #uty #uty axis #undertale yellow axis #undertale yellow vendy #uty north star #undertale yellow starlo #undertale mettaton #i had this idea that since axis is like. on a different grid thing from the other robots he was the only one with an actual censor. #like. the other robots would be programed to refrain from using vulgar language. but some (most) of 'em probably don't have actual censors #i just think its funny if vendy can say fuck and axis could just question how tbh- #i think i figured out how to draw north star a bit better now! i was drawing the hat too small before- #also. yeah. he probably is missing a tooth. or has at least a chipped tooth. 'cause why not #fun fact: i'm gonna post a couple drawings of Guardener in the next 24 hours (i hope) with a little bit of an idea i had :) #look out for that if you want!-

[glowexxy]

the ai run phase me has awakened

#(at least for a little while) #cookie run #cyborg cookie #for context i used to fixate real hard on ai run cookies. especially cyborg and the aloecy ship #i. missed it tbh #but maybe the burnout was for the best. i really love how aloe turned out in canon. changed my perception of both her and the ship #(for the better !!) #i'm still a bit confused with the new stories but if i undersrand everything correctly #the concept of cy moving to xylitol and still keeping in contact w aloe and meeting in person now and then but still missing each other a #lot sounds interesting #oh god im rambling too much bye #i just love them sm #glow draws

[chirpsythismorning]

Thinking about the time Tom Holland spoiled the date and poster for Infinity War 'unintentionally', even though it was very clearly a bit done by a professional actor... and even still poorly at that! Just look at how he dramatically has the CONFIDENTIAL DO NOT SHARE facing the camera, only to turn it over to look at it, flipping it back upside down while pretending to read it...

remind you of anyone...?

hint

#stranger things #byler #noah #i'm talking about noah #full serious noah would not be out here talking about s5 and even going as far as to reveal he's got scripts... #unless he was given the okay to #or more specifically advised to be absolutely chaotic #tom was so well known for spoiling that it literally became a bit they used for marketing #the same thing is happening with Noah rn... #noah 5 days ago: i'm gonna get in trouble! #noah just tonight on twitter: I love my fans so much how did i get so lucky #dude is on cloud nine rn he is not the least bit in the duffers basement #he is in the penthouse #Noah is fully capable of not spoiling anything genuinely #while also having permission to still be an absolute gremlin with the guise of spoiling things unintentionally #it's hilarious honestly #he's even acknowledged the fact that people refer to him as the tom holland of ST... #like come on now

[jils-things]

to love someone is to heal someone

#~ art #♥️ memoryshipping #ignore tags if youre just here for the art and not me going full diary mode #anyways ... this is a little personal to me #especially with how i treat her here. i think this is a direct projection of how i'm feeling right now #today has been a little harsh on me - maybe a little painful even #i'm okay now - because i resolved it. albeit harboring some bits of anger to it but its not worth fighting about anymore #its hard to say that i'm - very optimistic so to speak because it's only one pillar i just jumped over and there will be more later #and this is me coping with it and im lucky to have mustered some energy to at least express it through drawing #i havent been drawing much for myself and it makes me sad because its my source of happiness #my time for drawing is being repurposed for other stuff right now and it still is and i dont feel entirely happy doing it unfortunately #i still have many things i want to follow up on my drawing list especially in my recent interests peaking again #but i resorted for now to making something im already used to. stevaide lol fgsjsddsjjsdjkghsdjgdjkhskjghshsgsasjhjsjksdjfhsfasgs corny ass #rest assured im at a somewhat relaxed state right now. throwing boops here and there calmed me down because theres people around me #who ig thinks im cool eajdhajhd #ahh anyway

[fbwzoo]

Officially got this boy eating mustard, collard, and dandelion greens (all good daily staple greens), and spaghetti squash! 🥰🥰 I'm so pleased to have him on a decent variety of both veggies & bugs now!!

We're trying butternut squash again next. Hoping to rotate him between those two & acorn for daily squashes. Then I can start adding other "occasional" veggies to his salads for additional variety & to see what else he likes.

He has a couple new bug orders coming soon too. I think his staples are going to be dubia roaches, BSF worms, and mealworms. With silkworms & grasshoppers when I can get them, and hornworms & waxworms as treats.

#fbw rambles #my pets #bearded dragon #beardie #ed beardie #big jump up from one green and crickets #i think I'm more or less getting used to the logistics of having his diet variety available #now we just have to work on keeping the feeder bugs alive #I'm hoping to order maybe once a month or a bit less if i can get the hang of that #though that will only be for another 5 or 6 months anyway #before he's down to adult bug servings #which is pretty low! #i guess the spiky kids might get live bugs more often next summer #useful to at least have multiple animals eating similar foods

[gottagobuycheese]

Under the fireworks brightly dyeing the night sky, Han Sooyoung's chilly, sharp dagger gleamed dangerously.

"You, just who the hell are you?”

Hugtober Day 9/9 - Can You Really Call This a Hug, I Didn’t Receive Physical Affection or Anything

[ID: A piece of digital fanart depicting Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja from Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint. Han Sooyoung is dressed in a purple jacket, dark grey t-shirt, and a pair of black sweatpants and shoes. She kneels in the grass and pins Kim Dokja to the ground with her right hand, holding her dagger aloft in her left as the colorful lights of the fireworks light her figure from behind. Her hair is disheveled as she glares down at him, baring her teeth, though her ferocious expression betrays the faintest glimmer of fear. Kim Dokja, meanwhile, is sprawled flat on the grass, reflexively throwing his arms over his face. His legs kick up into the air by the force of Han Sooyoung’s initial tackle. He is dressed in his signature white coat, black button-up and slacks, and black shoes, which are partly lit up from the light of the fireworks. /end ID ]

(Credit for the fireworks brush set goes to bybaobab!)

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #han sooyoung #kim dokja #omniscient reader #orv #hugtober 2022 #hugtober day 9 #orv fanart #been very inconsistent using that tag lol I keep forgetting to tag my own orv art with it and not just other people's #my attempts at art #IT'S A HUG OKAY BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM THEY MAKE SOME KIND OF LOOP OKAY IT COUNTS #I had a 10th one at the sketch layer that just needed to get cleaned up a bit to line it but sadly I ran out of time for this month #I'll finish it at some point of course #but for now let's end this year's hugtober with a BANG #(geddit 'cause of the — 'cause of the fi — 'cause of the firewo —) #anyways did not expect to actually be able to pull off that background #but I'm glad I at least tried it #astoundingly the entire coloring aspect was just like. a day. in between other stuff even #that NEVER happens #can't wait to look back at this years from now and go ‘wow I can't believe how cheesy that background looks’ #’I could do it even better in half the time now’ #don't know if I've ever personally experienced that emotion but I've heard it happens to people so you know what here's to hoping #ANYHOW THANKS Y'ALL IT'S BEEN FUN #activity SHOULD be more sporadic going forward since I have Important Life Things coming up I need to pay attention to #and I only took a special exception this month because I had to post all this stuff (yes I know I didn't have to but STILL) #so if I'm diligent (ha) you will see very little of me in the coming months #this will either mean a) it worked and I'm actually studying (lmao) or b) I am simply distracting myself offline #for example I found out that there's an octopath traveler II coming out which now inspires me to finish the first one #(and also finish all the fanart ideas I had for it whoops) #and also prepare for genuary which is hypothetically something I would hold near and dear to my heart if I remembered it skjdhfskjf

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Mini-event tomorrow as well lol? But early. Guy Fawkes Night the 5th Novemeber! But the event is 3rd!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November,

Gunpowder, treason and plot.

I see no reason

Why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

#qsmp #qsmp twitter #i have an hour but I know if I open Pac or Fit's streams I'll miss stuff I have tonight #maybe it's so Phil doesn't need to stream seven days this week and can explain #given its a very UK thing #and tubbo's laptop is dying #and wilbur is never online #or maybe its because whatever is happening saturday prevents them using sunday #who knows! #them summarising this will be so funny lol #'some catholics tried to murder the government over a religious dispute #and now we burn an effigy of their ringleader and set off gunpowerder fireworks #in memory of the fact they failed to blow anyone up' #like... that's the summary lol #and for once this one was actually celebrated where I grew up! #I'm not sure I can post the whole poem either #an early version I was taught talks about hanging people (Pac would love that) #but even the less expilcate ones are a bit murdery #so just take the bit people remember lol #its been celebrated since at least 1607 when it happened in 1605 #but um early versions were super anti-Catholic #which is bad #and it was protestant church thing with bonus sermons for a /while/ #as well as blowing things up in controlled conditions #stopped being celebrated after the civil war came back again with the monarchy and more party #it was a national holiday for a while (not any more) #and people would sometimes burn other unpopular figures as effigies #and in the Victorian period the newly instated Catholic bishops #which um got them into trouble #now its mostly cool fireworks and warm bonfires and doesn't have the religious or rioting bits often

[savrenim]

not to be another donations post but you may remember how over the summer we had massive amounts of plumbing problems and other unexpected moving costs? well. after proceeding to work every single hour available to me for six months, take no holidays whatsoever, and budget the hell out of every aspect of my life, I was actually on track to pay everything back and maybe have a little bit of wiggle room by the time summer came around!

and then we got a call from the vet about routine labs saying that if we didn't take Suzy in to an emergency specialty hospital immediately, she would die within in a week, she might die anyways if we took her there, but it was our only chance to have a few more months with her. after an extremely difficult household discussion, we decided that we needed to do as much as we could for her. she's been a beloved member of the family for 18 years. we were not going to abandon her in her hour of need.

with two days at the specialty hospital, the prognosis was better than we could have possibly hoped! the most important thing is she does not have heart problems at all, which means that we can treat her chronic kidney disease with normal IV fluids and with careful treatment she could easily be with us for years to come. the timely intervention also may or may not have saved her from acute kidney failure too, we'll know when we go back to the vet on Wednesday to get her blood checked where her levels have stabilized at.

two days at the specialty hospital means we are also down $3652 , and no longer are on track to pay back everything by July when it comes due unless a couple of uncertain things going forward Go Right, I do not trust everything to Go Right, and we're also still uncertain about what long-term treatment going forward is going to cost.

I still have my ko-fi and my patreon, but honestly, I'm aware that everything is tight for everyone always and there are also a lot of causes that need money right now and in the face of that "hey my family went super out on a limb to try to save our cat and would love some help not falling off" feels kind of shallow. but like. not to sound dumb or like a youtuber or podcaster, but, like. honestly I think the Most Helpful Thing that anyone could do for me right now is take a fucking HelloFresh link that will send you a "free" box for cost-of-shipping ($7ish?) if you Sign Up For An Account that you can then cancel Immediately After The Box Has Shipped and Never Give Them Any More Money Than That and get Six To Ten Meals Out Of It, and for getting someone to "sign up", they will give me a free box too. like. if 13 people are willing to take a link then I don't need to worry about food for the next three months. which would be. HUGE.

so I guess.... dm me if you want a link? otherwise expect to see a lot of promotion of my writing/ patreon as I scramble the hell to try to make this money up

#my life #pet sick for tw #donation post #sort of #yes I am aware that Hello Fresh is problematique / union-busting #they are also currently the only easily accessible source of Free Food that we can actually eat/use #honestly if anyone Wants To Help but doesn't really have the $7 for shipping #I will freaking venmo you back the $7 after I get confirmation of account credit #sending someone $7 for $60 of groceries still means you have Gifted Our Household with net $50 of food #at no cost to yourself #I'm not in As Shitty of a place as last summer bc my mother is also deeply emotionally attached to Suzy #and has agreed to spot us in July for a bit of the money if we pay her back in September #it's just!!!! really FUCKING frustrating!!!!!! we had the money saved!!!! I have spent the last six months KILLING myself to have the money #and now we are back to nearly square 1 except with six months instead of twelve months to make up the difference #so. free food would be much appreciated. as that would also mean that no matter what bullshit the next few months throws at us we at least #know that there will be weekly groceries shipped to us #me @ my job give me overtime hours #legit might destroy me again to work a 240hr month a month or two in a row #but three months of THAT would put me in the clear and they've got free coffee and energy drinks at work #however in lieu of my job giving me the ability to Not Practice The Best Self Care in return for Ungodly Amounts Of Money #'hi friends and mutuals can I interest you in a HelloFresh box' is the best I can do #I swear I will never start a youtube channel or start podcasting tho

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok everyone I have a very important question for you. No judgement I am genuinely just curious because this strikes me as so odd

#every single roommate i've had has left their dirty dishes in the sink and i'm??? because my mom would flip if i did that #right now we have two sinks but only one of them can ever be used because the other is always full of dishes #and most of the time there's still at least one dish in the other sink too. trying to fill water is an act of trying not to brush #against food particles with the bottom of whatever vessel i'm trying to fill #it's just weird to me. you're limiting your space? also leaving food bits out for days is how you get bugs... :/ #anyways i can't always do my dishes right away (low energy/motivation) but like. i stack them in a designated area in my room #why the sink? #storyrambles #my polls #maybe there's some wisdom to this i'm not understanding.

[jichanxo]

(late) sunday six

thanks for the tag @passthroughtime and @overdevelopedglasses! not gonna tag anybody because i'm late to the party as is :P i've mentioned sensei au/fic a lot in passing but i think this is the first time i'm actually talking about it properly in a text post as opposed to like, tags on my art... anyway, it goes without saying that this has lost judgment spoilers. part of the premise for this fic is that kitakata never becomes kuwana because he only barely manages to fix everything at the last possible moment. mitsuru lives, but only because he gets lucky. something like that. the main fic takes place long after this, but i recently had a go at trying to write mitsuru and kitakata on the roof together, since it's obviously integral to kitakata's character even if mitsuru doesn't die. i'm still feeling it out, but it's been an interesting one. very different from what i'm used to. but also cathartic in some ways.

anyway here's an excerpt. putting another warning here for lost judgment spoilers and mentions of suicide.

Kusumoto looked away, sat up. He didn’t really seem to care that Kitakata was there, aside from the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything rash with him here, which he resented.

He wiped at his chin, his eyes, but the movements were clumsy, and he couldn’t clean himself off properly. His hair was still a mess, though he’d tried to make it presentable again. Kitakata suddenly wished he had a handkerchief in his pocket instead of a packet of cigarettes.

“I’m not going to kill myself, Sensei. You can leave if you want.”

He wanted to relieve Kitakata of any responsibility to be here. He thought Kitakata was only doing any of this to cover his own ass.

Kitakata hadn’t given him any reason to believe otherwise.

“Oh, well.” He fished for the first excuse that came to mind. “Haven’t had my smoke yet.”

He pulled one out, took his time lighting it. It’d buy him some time. It didn’t matter what Kusumoto thought of him, and he wouldn’t delude himself to expect that he might think that Kitakata was here because he wanted to be. It wasn’t entirely untrue, after all, that he was just trying to cover his ass. He’d made a mistake, and he was desperate to fix it.

He took a drag. Exhaled. Looked to Kusumoto.

“Do you mean it?” He asked.

“Mean what?” Kusumoto mumbled.

“When you said you weren’t going to kill yourself.”

#lost judgment spoilers #tw suicide #...not sure what other content warnings i should put here i'm not familiar with posting this kind of thing #hopefully tumblr doesn't eat it alive for that alone #kitakata sensei #jichanmakes #sunday six #<- not sure how often i'll participate but i have been writing quite a bit lately so i might as well make the tag #anyway um. sensei fic! sensei fic! #unfortunately it's probably one of the most depressing parts of the au. important! but depressing. #snipped off one of the less visceral parts at the very least. writing mitsuru and kitakata speaking in this context feels very..... hm #like i said it's a very different subject to write about than what i'm used to #i still want to read over some other peoples' depictions of mitsuru but this is basically my like. first go unfiltered attempt. #at the very least i have a feeling for the tone now