#at my limit! like i think i'm pretty much at my limit

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, time to write the blue and yellow meta: deranged version. Shoutout to @dangerpronebuddie for the thoughts that are helping me in this particular delusion (This is gonna have some copy/paste from the other one just for the context to be all in one post, but stay with me anyway if you read that one already I promise this one has more stuff)

Okay, so I have been going insane trying to figure out what the blue and yellow means.

And now I have a theory. So for this one, I'm gonna use the fact that they are using the sun on a wall and that they completed the blue and green with Buck and Eddie at the gym scene with the bottle and the towel to assume I am right, and they complete these things with other elements of the scene, wall, decoration, everything.

Okay, so, when tracking the blue and green thing so I could make this post, I kept wondering why there aren't a lot of Henren examples of it, this season has given us a few more scenes, but I'm pretty sure there are only these 2 before season 7. But like, I didn't think much of it even though I didn't understand why.

But Anna, I thought this was about the blue and yellow, why you talking about the blue and green? Well, I think the blue and yellow is the blue and green for queer couples. Stay with me, I promise I have enough proof to create a reasonable doubt lol.

Okay, so, the other day I saw a henren edit that had their first date and I already had the yellow behind Eddie in my mind and was like, that's interesting, their first date is blue and yellow.

Then, someone is making a Karen in every episode series, and I saw a set of her in yellow and was like "wait, I need to stop looking for answers in the straight couples, buddie is a queer couple, I need to see if this is a pattern that has already been established for the other queer couple, do henren have different rules?" and yes, I think they do.

Going back to the blue and green thing for a second, the easiest couple to track the blue and green is madney. Every couple has worn blue and green, but they have been blue and green since their first scene. And while they do wear blue and green for inconsequential scenes, they are in blue and green for things like getting back together in season 6, finding out Jee is a girl, the date after Doug, the hospital after Doug, the whole Boston episode is blue and green in nature, I talk about that in more detail in my blue and green applied to buddie meta if you're interested.

So, assuming they are establishing the blue and yellow with henren in the same way they do the blue and green with madney, blue and yellow in important henren scenes sounded like a nice bet since the blue and yellow is present on their first date, right? And the same way Boston is inherently blue and green, tomorrow is very blue and yellow.

But you don't really think I'm telling you I established a pattern with only one episode, right? Using other elements of the scene, considering the way they are using the sun a lot with buddie, I have quite a few examples, going back down to when they accept that the IVF didn't work and that they'll be okay. I also really like the way the club in fomo is lit in blue and yellow. (I'm trying to stay within the image limit so, tiny images, sorry lol)

But Anna, you are using the wall a lot. Yes, I am using the wall a lot. Why am I using the wall a lot? You know how madney is the guide for the blue and green? Their house is blue and green. Like decorations and stuff. Mostly the kitchen, but still. The detailing there, the pans, the blue chairs, the blue couch. Even Jee's room is greenish and blueish.

So, henren's house being yellow works, I think. Another point towards that is the way that Buck's bi awakening episode is blue and yellow.

So, I'm gonna be insane and say the blue and yellow thing is the blue and green thing but queer.

Here's where I'm diverging from the first post I made, why? Well, considering my main point of reference was henren and the earliest conclusive example I could find was in 3x04 when they are talking about the IVF, I didn't look in season 2.

But thanks to Maggie (💜) I went to look in Buck, Actually. To check Thomas and Mitchell.

We have the blue and yellow shirt, the blue and yellow lighting, the blue cake with the shirt. They also use the sun in their happy contemplating life moments.

Unrelated but I love the blue and green thing too much not to point this out and I just noticed it lol they have a lot of blue and green details too, the car, the driveway, the transition from a green cake to a blue cake, I just love that.

But, since the blue and yellow exists in the couple that is supposed to show Buck what love looks like, I'm gonna go full crazy here with buddie and blue and yellow, because we are starting at Eddie's introduction lol just another nice little day in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland.

Let's move past shirtless Ryan for a sec (yes, I could've used a different screenshot, but why would I lol) the bag above Eddie's head is blue, and there's that yellow thing behind Buck (Hen is also in yellow in this scene and everyone else is in the darker uniform so 👀)

But this is nothing yet, in terms of crazy. How about the way that Hector's call is blue and yellow? And the blue and yellow lights in the ceiling of the ambulance?

What if I told you the dialogue here is "Practice rounds have blue caps, gold caps are live."? Are you feeling insane with me yet?

I personally view the "you can have my back any day" as inherently blue and green, but Eddie's side does have that yellowish light in the middle there so, something else to consider.

But moving on, there's a lot of blue and yellow lighting during the earthquake, but even I will have to admit that's because of emergency lights, so I will keep moving, I am crazy but I also know when to admit that this show likes warm lights and sirens are blue lol

Next up, we have the fountain. And the elf happening right after this, like 👀👀

I couldn't find any other examples in season 2 tho.

I will admit that my season 3 examples are a really big stretch but, the grocery store, has blue, green, and yellow elements, mostly behind Buck.

Them making up the station, also has the yellow light element.

Other cutesy things I wanna point out are the summer camp talk and the cup thing, with the blue chair and the building.

And I kinda have to add the recovery conversation because of the oven and the light behind Eddie.

Also, they usually drink the genuine beer, that has a yellow label and the coming out scene has a beer with a blue label.

Okay, but I skipped a bunch of shit here in the middle. Well, season 5 doesn't have anything that stands out to me all that much. Season 6, has the poker date.

I'm kinda obsessed with the way that the coming out scene has Buck in blue and the yellow behind Eddie while he's dressed in black and the end of the poker date is the other way around. This one feel more on purpose to me than anything else that I pointed out, since this happens after tomorrow, where we see that in play with henren a lot.

But my question here is, if this is something that has been played with since season 2, what does this mean for buddie and survivors?

This scene has some blue and yellow elements and it is the lead to the will reveal.

And, well, the will reveal is undeniably blue and yellow. Their shirts are blue and yellow. And this scene reads as a love confession. It was talked about as Eddie's way of saying he loves Buck to the core. If you add this, and the elements of the shooting and how not platonic the they're in situation is, if any of this is true, then, well, what does it mean for this scene?

I kinda wanna go full conspiracy theory for a second, so bear with me. Buck coming out scene, Buck matches the lighting, everything around him is blue (in contrast to the kiss, where he is in a blue shirt but he has the yellow light behind him), kinda like what's happening with Eddie in the will reveal, but obviously, since Eddie doesn't really match, it's just in the same color palette, we can make an argument about him not being ready yet. Not like Buck is when it comes to his bisexuality now. Especially with the way this scene screams aborted love confession. So, since I'm already using this to fuel my Ryan got cast with a plan madness, I will also use this for my Eddie has been aware since season 4 madness.

This is long and kinda completely deranged but I think there is an actual argument to be made here, at least from season 6 forward, so this is my current theory, let's see how the rest of the season plays out 🫶

As always, if you read this I love you 💜

#911 meta #911 #buddie thoughts #buddie #anyway #here #911 spoilers #sorta #i sound insane #lol

[larkandkatydid]

Books Inspired by Poor Things, a movie I enjoyed, but not as much as I enjoyed these books.

Angela Carter, Nights at the Circus. This book, about a winged woman born and raised in a brothel who embarks on an adventure across Tsarist Russia is what I thought of most wistfully while watching Poor Things. This is my favorite Angela Carter novel and a pretty great first novel is you are new to Carter.

Octavia Butler, Fledgling: This is the Octavia Butler vampire novel. This is the one I think of wistfully while watching IWTV, thinking of how Butler's early death deprived the world of equally strange and unsettling exploration of how vampires live, love and create families.

Jeanette Winterson, Sexing the Cherry: A sexy, weird fairy tale taking place during the English Civil War. There's a tulip used as a dildo in the first chapter, which isn't important but is delightful.

Rene Depestre, Hadriana In All My Dreams: This is the only book on this list that isn't written by a woman, and there are several places where that is obvious. However, this is such a lushly written, humane story about what happens after a beautiful girl is turned into a zombie.

Jeanette Ng, Under the Pendulum Sun: I talk about this book all the time, but that's because I love it an exceptional amount. A theological gothic horror about two Victorian siblings who are missionaries to the Fairy Queen.

Kaitlyn Greenrdge, Libertie: This is the first entirely non-supernatural historical novel on this list: A coming-of-age-ish story about the daughter of a black woman physician as she goes to college, is married, travels to Haiti with her new husband and experiences a sexual and moral awakening that I found much more true and compelling than that of Bella Baxter.

Nghi Vo, The Chosen and The Beautiful: I realize the whole idea of this book is an absurd joke, but I respect Vo for having both the confidence to charge right in with "Great Gatsby but Magic" as a concept and for having the restraint to limit the magic in the book to just two-three extremely resonant examples. This book is not without some amateur moves, but I enjoyed it immensely.

Angela Carter, Wise Children: I'm allowed to put more Angela Carter on this list because it's my list. This is my other favorite Carter novel, a Shakespearean farce about two elderly twins as they reminisce about their wild lives as vaudeville performers. Full of incest and weird sex and great Shakespeare jokes. Like if Shakespeare in Love ended with an 80 year old woman having sex with her 100 year old uncle. There's no book that makes me feel more joy and satisfaction.

Zadie Smith, The Fraud: Another, non-supernatural historical novel about a woman living during the Victorian era surrounded by a bunch of full-of-shit intellectual men.

#all of these books have the kinds of sex that morons want me to warn you against #but i shan't

[patchwork-crow-writes]

The RalsAlmanac, Volume I

Okay, here it is! A series of essays that will attempt to definitively explain just who or what Ralsei is, referring to scenes from the game as evidence, as well as external sources where appropriate.

There will be some conjecture, as there's just so much we don't know about him, and what little we are given isn't exactly the most revealing. However, I've done my best to cleave as closely to the source material as I can, and I believe there's a strong case to be had here.

Hopefully you'll be able to see where my points come from, or at the very least you'll learn something you didn't know before. Either way, thanks for your consideration!

Volume I - Ralsei Is A Character In A Role-Playing Game.

Self-indulgent reference out of the way, lemme ask you a question.

Who is Ralsei?

It's a question that seems like it should be easy to answer. He's the Prince From The Dark, the third of the three Delta Warriors, he exists to serve the lightners, and is the most precious little cinnamon roll that ever lived. He enjoys baking and crochet, can hold a tune, is a decent interior-decorator, and holds his friends Kris and Susie in very high regard.

Thing is, that's about all you can really say about him without veering into speculation and headcanons, and they're more surface-level observations than anything else. What exactly does "Prince From The Dark" mean, for instance? Prince in what sense, exactly? Ceremonial, or with the actual power that royalty conveys? Where does he rank in comparison to, say, King or Queen, both actual rulers of actual kingdoms? The title of "prince" would suggest that he answers to them, but while they rule their own municipalities, Ralsei's title implies he rules over ALL dark worlds. You could go on asking these questions forever, but I think you see what I'm getting at.

A more productive avenue of questioning might be: What role does Ralsei play in the story of Deltarune? Perhaps more of his underlying character and motivation could be gleaned by looking at what he does for the story and the game. And this would be correct... sort of.

We tend to think of him as the squishy healer of the party, the Heart and moral centre of the Fun Gang. And he absolutely is that, but he's also quite a bit more. He plays all sorts of different roles and character archetypes in the first two chapters of the game, including but not limited to:

the old man whose purpose is to wax poetic about the ancient prophecy...

the know-it-all tutorial fairy who walks you through the basic game mechanics...

the straight-man DM trying to keep everything on the rails...

the young sheltered noble experiencing the outside world for the first time...

the demure love-interest to the main protagonist...

the Polyanna determined to see the good in everybody...

the mysterious waif who knows things he shouldn't...

...eye candy…?

...and so on and so forth.

And so what, I hear you cry. Characters in video games can have more than one personality trait, after all. And yes, this is true! But usually, the different aspects of a character's roles, how they interact with, reinforce or contradict each other, can tell us more about their inner world - what motivates them, what they actively like and dislike... in short, it grants them depth and allows us to engage with them as actual people, rather than just a series of game functions and character traits dressed up in a pretty bow.

But that's not what we see with Ralsei. In fact, far from showing us any real, deep aspect of his character, each new guise he dons and part he plays in the narrative further obfuscates him from us. We learn no new meaningful information from any of these exchanges... except for one thing, but we'll come to that in a moment.

This vexes us, because we WANT to know more about him, but all we end up getting is stock JRPG tropes dressed up in a warm, fluffy coat. There HAS to be something deeper, we reason - he's hiding things from us, so he must be a secret villain. Or his backstory is so tragic, so traumatising, that he cannot properly articulate it to us right now. Or maybe what we see really IS what we get - a simpering, airheaded fool whose only desires in life are to be cute, please his betters and do what he's told. Yet even this explanation seems... unsatisfying, especially since we KNOW he harbours some angst about himself and his sense of identity.

And speaking of which, that one thing we learn? Right at the end of Chapter 2's Acid Tunnel sequence, he utters a single sentence:

This is arguably one of the most significant lines of dialogue in the entire game up to this point. But what does it mean, exactly? I believe most people assume it means he doesn't have a clear sense of who he is outside of his ordained purpose, which is certainly valid, and definitely something I believed for a long time. And yet, this explanation does not deepen our understanding of his character in any meaningful way; looking back over all his interactions with the cast, it does not allow us to glean any further information about him.

And you can say that's because he himself doesn't know what he's like... but again, this doesn't actually change anything, and we just end up with a circular logic trap. We don't know anything because he doesn't tell us anything, and he doesn't tell us anything because he doesn't know anything, so how can we be expected to know anything, except that no-one seems to know anything about him… which is very frustrating to us Ralsei scholars, and gets us no closer to truly understanding him.

But look at what he says again. Really look at it. It’s a very strange way of saying “I don’t really know who I am”, isn’t it? After all, if that’s what he means, then why doesn’t he just say that? I’m certain you’ve realised by now, but it’s because that’s NOT what he’s saying at all. He literally has no clue what being “himself” is supposed to be, because he wasn’t even created with a sense of “Ralsei-ness” in the first place. Little wonder, then, that we can’t discern anything about his internal world, when there is nothing there to be discerned.

But before I elaborate any further, I want to talk about a couple of scenes in Deltarune that are just... puzzling. This is relevant, I promise. The first is during the dialogue with Rouxls Kaard before the rematch with K.Round. Ralsei says something interesting in the lead-up to the fight:

Note Susie’s baffled reaction to this. Then not long afterwards, he continues with:

Throwaway joke, right? We laugh because Susie's right - K. Round and its crown do look exactly the same to us, and so Ralsei's dramatic utterances are deflated and lose their impact. We laugh, beat the boss with Susie's help and forget all about it. But here's the thing - if K.Round looks the same to us, and it looks the same to Susie, and presumably by extension the rest of the in-game characters... when why exactly does Ralsei take the time to insist otherwise?

Is he... lying? Our most precious little boy, guilty of perjury? Say it ain't so! :O

The second scene is in chapter 2 - Queen has challenged us to a game of Punch-Out on her absurdly tall arcade machine, and we can talk to the characters before trying to interact with it. Talk to Ralsei, and if you answer "Gaming is my life" to his prompt, he says this:

Most people don't even come across this in their playthrough, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's new to you reading this. But again, note this strange discrepancy between what Ralsei reports is happening and what Susie says is actually happening. It becomes apparent to most people that Kris can affect the tone of their voice when saying what we tell them to, which affects how the response is taken by other characters and gives us a subtle clue about how they actually feel about certain characters or situations.

Are we to assume, then, that Ralsei isn't actually listening to how Kris says things, but only what they're saying? And if that's correct, then... what does that say about him?

Taken at face-value, within the context of the game, neither of these events really make much sense. It just looks like Ralsei is being overly-dramatic, or lying, or perhaps even insensitive to what their friend is trying to tell him, which doesn't quite track with his per-established shallow traits of kind, all-loving and moralistic. It's perplexing and seemingly out-of-character for him. So it might help to consider, in each of these scenarios, who exactly Ralsei is talking to.

Is it Kris and/or Susie? This would make the most sense, but it's actually not that likely, considering the aforementioned discrepencies between his descriptions and Susie's observations. So is it himself? Again, if he can see things the same as everyone else in-game, that wouldn't make much sense, because then he's just saying stuff that... isn't true? Or in the latter example's case, just completely ignoring what Kris is saying, which doesn't seem to entirely gel with what we know about him.

So, who does that leave? Well, the only other person - or should I say entity - who is present for both of those scenes is... us. The player of Deltarune. And that might seem even stranger than the previous options, until you realise what it is he's actually doing - providing flavour text, additional exposition informing us of details that we wouldn't - or shouldn't - be able to make out on a pixelated display with no voice-acting, attempting to give us a richer sense of these events in order to increase our sense of immersion in the game and world of Deltarune. In effect, he's playing the part of a character in a role playing game, doling out “flavour text” that contradicts another character’s experience of the same scenes, and he's doing it entirely for OUR benefit. Not Kris’s, not Susie's – ours.

He tells us that K.Round's crown is different, and that it is in pain from its forced control, to try and increase the stakes of the fight, and to give us a motivation that's not "here's the exact same boss again lul". He responds to Kris's words the way he does, not because he doesn't understand the nuances of their tone, but to try and amp us up for the upcoming challenge, and to validate our choice when we select the dialogue option "Gaming is my life". Because we cannot hear Kris's tone of voice - and Ralsei knows that. To him, Kris's tone literally doesn't matter, because he doesn't believe it matters to us in that exact moment.

And here’s the thing: if not for Susie’s asides immediately contradicting him, we’d likely take what he says here as what’s actually going on. To Ralsei, the reality he and his friends experience is not important – it’s the image of that reality that he’s trying to convey to the player. It’s like he knows he’s part of a game, meant just for us to experience and enjoy, as opposed to a real world filled with real people having real experiences.

And the reason I brought this up is to illustrate what I believe Ralsei to actually be - namely, that he a walking, talking, singing and dancing amalgam of stock JRPG characters and tropes that's trying very hard to present as an actual person, to the point of knowing absolutely nothing about who he even is outside of that. Put in even blunter terms, he's literally a fluffy goat-shaped vehicle to set the player on their journey through the game, to keep them playing and to keep them invested. People looking for deeper aspects of his character come up short and are disappointed because they're looking for something that does not currently exist.

And just so that I'm clear, I do not mean that Ralsei is "acting", or that he's "wearing a mask", because that would imply that there was actually something underneath his "facade" to begin with. No, this is who the Prince of the Dark is - a very convincing fascimile of a person, following his directive to ensure that the story of Deltarune is resolved, and that the game of Deltarune is played to completion. And once you realise that, a lot of things that Ralsei says and does that seemed strange before suddenly make a lot more sense.

As for the why... well, that'll have to wait for another time. But hopefully you can begin to see how my future essays in this series all tie in to this one, because I think you can only really understand those with the framework that this text provides. I hope that my reasoning made sense and wasn't too difficult to follow, but I'll be happy to provide additional information, clarification, or even just discussion on any aspect of this essay... even if we just wind up (respectfully) agreeing to disagree. Would love to hear what people thought about this!

Thanks for reading!

#Writing #essay #analysis #theory #Deltarune #Ralsei #character study #The RalsAlmanac #deltarune chapter 1 #deltarune chapter 2 #essay collection

[ao3dorian-gay]

au where haku joins the akatsuki after zabuza dies & gossips about itachi with deidara (fic)

#mine #deidara #yuki haku #finally DONE!! still might fix haku's hair more but i dont want to bc i think it's pretty but also it makes it hard to tell it's him </33 #itachi is like. wow! haku is just like me fr! he's so cool !! meanwhile haku h8s him for killing off a bloodline limit family kjnfkjf #i've got docs open and i'm typing away lmao god save me from my wips #i've got an OUTLINE. all so i can write the akatsukis pretty boys having a friendship triangle ksnjk lmaooo #im staring at it too much. how phoned in does the cave background look. i've drawn caves before but i'm also so lazy with backgrounds. #his hair is down bc he's letting himself be impractical sometimes <3 #also bc im p sure the Hair Up in the bun is part of the hunter nin Disguise

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[sysig]

Lost my mind thinking about the Vyer Estate (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #Dexter Favin #So while I'm not usually one to draw backgrounds I am actually Really into architecture and a little into decor and room design haha #Do I know much more than the basics? Nope! But I'm still fascinated by it :) #Some of these rooms have a very strong image in my head and some are fuzzier - it's been a bit since I reread #And I also haven't read with the layout in mind I don't think so there's that as well haha #I'll also freely admit to being very influenced by The Sims 2's build limitations when working these lol - spacing and density of items #Trying to map all these pieces of scenes into a continuous singular building is difficult! There are windows that butt up into other rooms! #It's a fun exercise tho :3 #Update: I have now reread with the layout in mind lol #My mental ears pricked every time there was a mention of furniture or layout lol #Like Max's couch! And a carpet in the foyer >:3c #And Dex's room also being upstairs :0 To think I almost made my first floorplan a single-story! #Silly me #I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've doodled Max's mom also :0 From memory - again - oops lol #I have always imagined that final scene with her as having this large-room/small in the frame kind of energy to it #All natural lighting and kind of dim and hazy - coming down from the high vibes #Actually pinning down a back wall is a whole other thing lol - sometimes the stairs are right there and sometimes they're in an alcove #It's always those tricky windows! And then actually populating a mansion with rooms that are useful lol #Dexter mentions that Max could've asked the cook but Max says he's asleep - how many people live on-site I wonder! #I'm also deeply enamoured with Max padding around in the middle of the night - a house he grew up in and feels safe wandering around in <3 #In his element ♥ Comfortable ♪♫

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky ! #2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building #3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like #a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble. #just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given #my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol. #NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard #to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up #as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc. #6. bapy boye... feets #7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s #o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.) #I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and #an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi #c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs #of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry #its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing #Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington #also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol #8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle #until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue #photo diary

[graciousdragon]

so would dog man use they/them pronouns. since its the guy and the dog combined

#rys.txt #i'm thinking like that meme where venom says “our pronouns are they/them not because we're nonbinary but because we're two people” #idrk much about dog man i haven't read it but my brother does. its dav pilkey so its probably pretty good #i just know the basics of dog man's origin and that its getting a movie adaptation like next year #can i be real for a second. i really want to see a second captain underpants movie the first one went really fucking hard #i hit post limit at like 6:30 pm again for the third day in a row but i thought of this post almost immediately after so i'm scheduling it #i think i've got a problem i should not be hitting post limit this fast

[goodplace-janet]

me seeing the translation from Arabic to English question on this quiz: hell yeah 💪

me seeing that the very next question is to translate from English to Arabic: oh no 😨

#thank GOD it's not time limited like the last one #and. i think he grades pretty leniently #but still!! i want to have a perfect translation!!! #and i probably cannot lol #i'm pretty happy with my other one though #i do feel like i nailed that one 💪 #college blogging #liveblogging an online quiz lmao #the reading was easy #the listening passage was. not easy #but i'm two questions away from being done with this #please PLEASE don't put a writing assignment at the very end 🤞🤞🤞 #i'd like to be done with this before sunset lmao #i still have... so much other homework #omg i still haven't had lunch #talk tag

[par-vollen]

God I'm so tempted by this

#plantblr #my limit was going to be $150 #including shipping and tax #but i never thought i'd even get the opportunity to own one of these guys #for the record this used to be like on of the rarest philodendron #like the holy grail of philodendron collectors #they're much more common in collecting circles but are still pretty rare #they're critically endangered in the wild #there are only six individuals known to exist in the wild and are under guard #if you think this guy isnt very impressive thats bc hes only a seedling just a baby #he doesnt have the mature leaves yet #i'm scared of getting him just in case i have a thrips outbreak again #i found a supplier for systemic pesticides but its not a consistent supply

[frobby]

Babe are you okay? or did you start thinking about hidamari ga kikoeru and Kohei signing 'taichi, I love you' before taichi knew sign

#I saw someone signing at my work #I just think it's so beautiful how humans figure out how to communicate in any way #I'm pretty sure I haven't said this before but I hear the sunspot is my favorite bl and I'm pretty sure one of the first I read #Definitely the first one I BOUGHT #Read it in 5th grade and carried a volume in my bag with me all the way to my freshman year of hs #Girl they're so funny for Kohei COMING TO TAICHI'S WORK and being like "we need a break' AND LEAVING #AND THEM HANGING OUT AT THE FESTIVAL LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED LIKE A CHAPTER LATER #I love them so much #I haven't read limit 3 or seasons yet cuz I'm lazy #hidamari ga kikoeru #i hear the sunspot #I actually own the first volume in English and in French

[katierosefun]

god i forgot how much i missed libraries. you mean i can read all these books for free? i can listen to all these audiobooks for free? i don't even need to pay anything to make a library card? i can print stuff here for basically free? god libraries fucking rule

#caroline talks #anyways the library is a very short walk away from my place #and i wanted to start crying when i just. realized. OH YEAH. I REMEMBER THIS NOW #in college the nearest library was pretty far from me so i didn't really go? #so like. for the first time in literally four years. i'm borrowing books from the library again #and i'm just like. OH GOD YEAH. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS . . . #i forgot how i used to be the kid stashing so many library books in her lil' library bag #and the librarian smiling at me bc she knew that i would read every single one of them and borrow even more books later #i remember how i used to use my high school's library a whole lot too like i think there was a borrowing limit #but i used to LOVE it so much #god i think in a different life i would have decided to become a librarian #i would have been content to spend the rest of my life surrounded by books and recommending books to people

[spacetrashpile]

also as we are on the topic, this is my personal prediction for what the leader board is gonna look like when this is all over

14. Jimmy

13. Skizz

12. Joel

11. Etho

10. Bdubs

9. Scar (I'm hesitant about what order to put Bdubs and Scar in though)

8. BigB

7. Grian

6. Tango

5. Cleo

4. Pearl

And then top 3 being Martyn, Scott, and Impulse. I honestly can't say which of them would win. If Scott's still got the most time, it'll probably be Martyn (I think he and Scott would team up to kill Impulse and then Scott would give his time to Martyn, or Impulse would kill Scott and Martyn would kill him). If the rest of the server has fucking focused on taking Scott down (PLEASE) and they're all on the same level, I think Impulse could take them out, especially if one of them is particularly low and gives the other their time in hopes they win.

#limited life smp #limited life spoilers #technically cause jimmy skizz and joel's spots are cannon #this is a combination of how much time they currently have+how they've been playing this season+my personal hopes #i REALLY want anyone BUT scott to win but i especially want tango or impulse to win #i just think impulse is more able to do it #he's stubborn as all hell he's been getting good kills and he's able to fly under the radar in a way other players aren't #some of these spots im hesitent about though #i already mentioned scar and bdubs #but grian and tango and pearl and cleo could also swap with each other im not certain about those places #this is all just speculation of course let's just see who i get right #im most confident about etho lol sorry bud #and i think bdubs is gonna get Real normal when etho's out what that MEANS for him i'm not sure but it'll be something #im also pretty confident about bigb falling in the middle there i feel like he just doesn't have enough time to make it work #he's doing better than a lot of his server mates and he also has impulse's ability to fall under the radar #but since him grian and pearl are on about the same amount of time they'll all be less hesitent to give to each other #bigb is HISTORICALLY bad at getting kills #he STILL only has one kill and it's cleo #so unless he's boogey this session (which tbh i'm not even thinking about) he's not getting any more kills #so tbh if he's able to fly under the radar he might do better than i've placed him #but now that grian's his ally i don't think it's going to be as easy #and their base is trapped now and he doesn't know which parts are trapped so that's gonna go SO well /sarcasm #this is a hesitent list overall but idk i like shouting things

[bigeloo]

I talked about this on a couple of different places but I find it interesting how Rick Hunter and Corey Cruise's dudes are characterized.

(adding a keep reading bc I don't want to clog the dash)

Corey Cruise's dude is a fixed entity that is outside of our control. He is more straightforward than Rick Hunter's dude but this also leads to him having, comparably, more inappropriate reactions (like harassing a fast food employee or immediately resorting to threats when confronting Mr. Phraud whereas RH dude would just curse them off or be generally upset)

Rick Hunter's dude is more dependent on the player's actions but it becomes very clear that if he had free will he would be, at most, sarcastic and nonchalant (his lines like "apparently I'm feeling a little psychotic this morning" shows that he's at least somewhat aware that he isn't in control of his actions and "[...] book the kid with the keyboard" further solidifies that awareness), choosing to usually solve things with as little negative consequence to him as possible. RH dude is surprised by CC dude's presence mostly because it probably sounds familiar considering that's the voice he would constantly hear in his voice in the 11 year coma but also the fact that CC dude is making him have inappropriate reactions while distinctly not being the player.

CC dude is also considerably the less physically present dude as even when he takes a more prominent role it happens in a dream and he only really becomes physical after supposedly the dude's head wound becomes more severe again. While this sudden inversion of CC dude being the protagonist and RH dude being antagonistic in brain damaged might seem weird at first, I think the roles are the way they are on the account of CC dude antagonizing RH dude to a degree and thus his image in the realm he has control over being more antagonistic and also the fact that, once again, RH dude's temper is completely dependent on the player's actions and because the player has to be aggressive in brain damaged, he reflects that and is aggressive in return.

One way I see the relation the dudes have to each other is CC dude being the more subconscious but being a separate, autonomous entity and RH dude being the more active but reactionary character and them not particularly enjoying each other's presence, repressing each others' existence as they might think they are the "true" dude however another way I see it is that both dudes in the current game line-up are, in a way, a meta commentary of RH dude representing the player and the choices they can make in the games, completely adapting to them and CC's dude is the way the dude's character is perceived by the fans and non-fans alike regardless of how he actually is which also interestingly mirrors the way postal franchise was advertised in America by running with scissors (a game that's only as violent as the player is) vs the way it was advertised in eastern Europe by Akella (a game that's the dream of every maniac with the choice on violence part being just a mere suggestion).

#also CC dude being a completely autonomous entity and potentially acting against the way that the player wants to act may just be a [...] #kind of retelling of the way Akella started going by the beat of their own drum while making postal III and disregarding RWS's wishes #and completly fucking up everything for them #also there's possibly another way this relation can be seen but I feel like that kind of interpretation would be inappropriate on my [...] #part as I don't have the condition and it really feels like it would be a really botched representation of that condition that would [...] #make the entire story worse in the end. #anyways if I'll hear even a single 'oh you're looking too deep into this oh it's not that deep' I'll rip something out of you 😄 #It's my hyperfixation and I get to count the acorns in the hogshit! #also doing an analysis of stuff is fun #and also I feel like not enough of fanartists examine the relation between the two dudes and that slightly limits their options #ok I think that's all I wanted to say my thoughts have run dry #postal #postal game #postal 2 #postal 2 paradise lost #postal brain damaged #btw I haven't played postal 4 so I can't say much about it and also I'm pretty sure the voice choices in there are more or less cosmetic #rws #running with scissors #postal dude #jūr.txt

[noxtivagus]

i think. my fav in fe engage will be louis

#🌙.rambles #[ fe. ] #HE'S COOL #i like his voice :> n then. i like knights in general help hdjfalksdjf #kagetsu's pretty cool but he's a bit older so 😭 but i think he's cool ! #rosado is def gna be one of my favs I THINK.. basing off my limited knowledge but i think apo's gna like him more #i don't know much abt merrin but i really love her design #fogado i think i'll probably like too. n amber ngl #I THINK. diamant may be one of my favs along w louis #i think. alcryst will be one of my favs too but i don't think my first fav bcs they're the fav of. one of my friends here iirc ? >< #chloe/merrin may be my fav from the girls #CLANNE MAY BE ONE OF MY TOP FAVS TOO YEAH I THINK HE'S ADORABLE #me w the fe boys w braids 😭 i think they're so so cute #IDK WAHH I SHLD RLLY PLAY MY OTHER GAMES FIRST #I HAVEN'T TOUCHED AUTOMATA FOR MONTHS N #i haven't touched replicant n ccr at all T_T n my steam games too oh dear #I REALLY WANT TO BUT. the motivation n energy n time aaaaaa #i will get p3p & fe engage when i can. i will. for sure. when i'm done w these games tho >< #help pls my other switch games too n the other ps ones n even the old xbox ones.. T_T #it's nice living in a family where. at least on my dad's side him n one of his sisters rlly love video games ehe #big influences fr #I WILL GET A LOT DONE THIS YEAR ! <3 i rlly rlly want to c:

[lettersiarrange]

hey are you a terf ? you've been reblogging stuff from radfems ...

No, I'm not a terf, I support trans people 100%. Also terfs are uncomfortably cozy with the alt-right and that's uhhh... a whole other layer of awful.

But I think I may be following a secret terf? Tumblr keeps showing me these posts that are like "liked by someone you're following!" And I follow 4k people so I'm not like. Keeping track of anyone but my mutuals. And some of the posts tumblr shows me are obviously terfy which makes me go HMMMM but then some of them seem fine? So it's hard for me to tell the difference between "posts tumblr reccomends me that are normal and in line with the regular leftist and feminist things I'm into" vs like "posts tumblr reccomends me because they're liked by whatever secret terf I'm following and have suspicious undertones that aren't immediately obvious to me". I'm certainly not intentionally following any terfs or following anyone who publicly identifies as a terf* or puts terf shit on my dash but I'm apparently following someone who doesn't blog about terf shit but LIKES terf shit (and I think it might be a fandom blog so that makes it harder to identify) and then those likes show up on my dash and it's not always obvious that it's terf shit or from a radfem blog-- it's just a random posts from a url I don't know. And sometimes the posts themselves are fine on the initial read.

So pls let me know what the radfem blogs in question are so I can identify and remember them if they pop up on my dash again

*caveat that I've been on this website for 10+ years and follow 4,000+ people and it's theoretically possible that a blog I followed multiple years ago that I never see on my dash now publicly identifies as a terf, but I'm not gonna go through all 4k of my following to try and find out if any of them have become publicly shitty in a way that doesn't affect my dash in the years since I've followed them. People get unfollowed as they bring shitty views to my attention. Hence the conundrum with the undercover terf bc they don't post terf shit, they just like it.

#*but how do you not immediately recognize terf dogwhistles!* you may ask #well. I've found when it comes to any toxic community like terfs or antivaxxers or incels or qanon or antisemitic leftists or WHATEVER #familiarizing myself with the discourse to the point that I'm An Expert In All The Secret Signals is uhhh... #pretty corrosive for my mental health #I'd much rather know Enough to recognize more obvious and popular talking points but otherwise stay a billion feet away #knowing all the Secret Signals involves an engagement with the nuance of their arguments that i am simply not mentally capable of #like it is Too Distressing #and I've found that as long as i can still recognize the more well-known signs of toxicity and steer clear... #i usually successfully avoid coming into contact with the toxicity #and like. I don't think my disabled friend's lives would be better by me becoming an expert in horrific eugenicist arguments and their lingo #nor do I think my trans friends lives would be improved by me becoming an expert on terf language and arguments #total respect for people who do for the purposes of fighting the good fight and warning everyone else #but couldn't be me. I'm sensitive and any amt of cruelty virtriol and toxicity just really Affects me #and my parents are qanon conspiracists so I'm already over the limit from being forced to hear abt whatever new #horrible conspiracy is going thru qanon every week. last week it was that i should Stockpile Food for Sept and Oct bc #Something Might Happen and i should be prepared #and don't i know masks are poisoning the american people? 🙄 #anyway props to people who know how to spot a terf from 100 ft based on how they walk #but it doesn't click for me until they open their mouths and start saying gender essentialist shit #(like. when i joined reddit in college I didn't know *gender critical* meant *terf* and was horrified to find out) #so no I don't have every radfem blog memorized so would appreciate warnings abt them #I've mostly been fairly happy in my non-hate-group tumblr bubble #asks