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#at this point I don't know how to not include
alfheimr · 3 days
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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes
i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:
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this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.
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the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.
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this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.
i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.
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for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.
note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!
note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!
with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?
the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.
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so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.
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these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!
you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.
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this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.
let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.
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gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:
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some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.
for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.
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here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.
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i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?
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i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.
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yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.
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i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.
i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.
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the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.
typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!
this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.
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let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.
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just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?
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bolognamayhem117 · 13 hours
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Hot Take: Astarion does NOT hate flowers. You just missed a few subtle hints through Act 1 and early Act 3.
Astarion's negativity is directed toward just about anything remotely pleasant as you move through early act three, starting the moment you leave Wyrm's Rock. First thing after Gortash's coronation he marvels near tears at the colors of the city in daylight. If you ask if he's alright, it pisses him off.
There's other instances I can't quite remember but he's a straight crank throughout early Act 3 and it took me several hours of gameplay to have a lightbulb moment about his newly crappier attitude.
He just spent the last two hundred years seeing everything in the overwhelmingly warm dim tones of indoor lighting via sconces, rushlights, and braziers, or the dingy blue gray of moonlight outside. Daylight colors are something he had more than a lifetime to forget and now that he has a chance to remember that vibrancy in his own home town, he knows he's going to have to forget it all over again either by death or by remaining a vampire spawn forever. The worm isn't going to live rent free in his head forever, and killing Cazador to ascend in his place likely feels like an insurmountable and impossible fight against a literal titan who could stomp him flat without a corm of effort.
He doesn't hate flowers, he hates EVERYTHING right now because it's all going away very soon and if he convinces himself he hates everything then he won't miss it when it's all gone again. He was denied this for two hundred years and he's PISSED at what was stolen from him and PISSED it's all going away again.
He behaved similarly in Act 1 about anyone besides him enjoying physical intimacy. Some of this content was cut, to my best knowledge, but the overwhelming majority of his dialog addressing the PC romancing anyone but him are negative or backhanded. This is for two reasons, I think. A: his Simple Plan just dissolved right before his eyes when you chose someone else which in his mind means he has zero safety net, and EVERYONE gets to enjoy sex (key wording being ENJOY, not simply having) except him... And it pisses him off.
He also gleefully interrupts the bug bear and the ogress, I think for the same reason as the above paragraph, being: If he doesn't get to enjoy intimacy neither do they.
He reacts with anger and disgust at anything he's being unfairly denied. Which... That's fair. His feelings are valid, but his reaction to it is pretty shitty and meanspirited.
The other companions I tend to keep in my party, (that is Lae'zel, Halsin, Karlach, and Wyll) however, are actually appearing to behave pretty patiently with him in Act 3 which I find interesting.
In the instance with the flowers Karlach doesn't bother trying to convince him otherwise of his opinion, she just tells him how they make her feel instead and rather than getting snippy or doubling down he more or less agrees to disagree. I also don't recall anyone disagreeing with Astarion during Gale's last quest tasks when he mentioned that he quit praying to gods who wouldn't hear him a long time ago but to be fair, I think the gods did everybody in this crew dirty and they all know it. It seems like they're consciously giving him the space to be mad about things, is what I'm saying.
Everyone I know including myself who crawled out of a long-term hot garbage situation kinda went wild for a bit with freedom, spoke poorly, behaved strangely, had extreme emotional reactions to things, and made some particularly terrible choices. I think that's just a part of recalibrating yourself, healing and learning how to be okay again.
Point is, I wouldn't conflate too many of the turbo-negative things he says with how he actually feels about anything. We certainly know what he says and what he feels are two very different things.
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respectthepetty · 1 day
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Dunk and Joong could have offered me anything in 2024, and I would have taken it, gladly, no questions because my ass is a Jaidee fan first and a human second. But to hand me The Heart Killers? Oh! Let me list all the reasons y'all gonna hate me when this comes out.
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Joong plays Khao's older brother
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Khaotung is older than Joong, but in BL Land that doesn't matter because Khao is playing the hopeless romantic little brother while Joong is playing his stern older brother. Someone already wrote it was 10 Things I Hate About You/The Taming of the Shrew, and Shakespeare would be thrilled to know one of his masterpieces is getting the queer treatment and it's not Twelfth Night.
Dunk is playing the crazy seducer
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Boy wants a car and is willing to go to great lengths to do it, including distracting some dude, so his buddy can play house with that dude's little brother. But the whole point is they had to find a guy who was crazy enough to accept the offer in the first place >insert Dunk's character< so the guy isn't just wanting the car. He is doing this for the thrill of getting tied up, stripped down, and threatened.
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And I respect that.
Jojo is apparently directing
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I wanna have beef with Jojo after Only Friends, then I look at his resume and remember this is the man who gave me puppy play in The Warp Effect, poly in 3 Will Be Free, and a chaotic stripper named Judo in Dirty Laundry PLUS the YinWar trailer for their Partner in Crime concert which has now lead to YinWar doing Jack & Joker, so as a vegetarian, I'm gonna be like Elsa and let that go.
Which means Rath is probably the cinematographer
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I don't give men compliments easily, so when I state that Cinematographer Rath has never disappointed me, I mean it. The man knows what he is doing, and if he is in on this series, I know if anything, it will be visually stunning.
First and Khao being the Beyonce of GMMTV
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I'm in Jaidee's corner always, but I have eyes and First and Khao could really do whatever they want and I'd eat it up. I have believed them with whomever they have been partnered with in the past, and if they want to play high schoolers in an oppressed school system or a banker willing to see his ex and his ex's new man just to flirt with the boy from the market, I'm buying the tickets, I'm sitting in the front row, and I'm holding up homemade posters. Basically, I'm shutting the fuck up and experiencing whatever they want me to experience.
First and Khao tears
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This is its own category because when they cry, they are in a league of their own. They claimed this series was going to be lighter than their previous work, but what is a First or Khao series without tears? I hope they are drinking water right now because someone is crying in this series, and JD's faces are already wet for other reasons.
DUNK'S BODY!
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Not to objectify the man's body, but . . . it's a banger, and he has been done dirty by wardrobe for two solid years. His face card never declines. His arms are solid. His waist is snatched. His hair is perfect. Even Tay, New, and Jan were talking about him in the BTS for Peaceful Property because they were saying how New's character was based off of Dunk - pretty, fashionable, and COCKY! But wouldn't we all be that cocky if we were walking around looking like this?! Like shut up fives. A ten is speaking!
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It's high time that man got to stunt like Force always does just taking off his shirt for no reason. Good for him. And good for us.
Oh, yeah, and the plot
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Sorry, I mean the plot.
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SHIT, THE PLOT!
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You know what? Nah. I honestly do not give a fuck about the plot. Joong and Khao are hired killers. First is out to get them. Dunk gets involved (although, I think he knows a lot more than he leads on), and . . .
All will end well.
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Because if anything, Jojo ain't never been allergic to a happy ending *wink*
So just know this show hit its target audience
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ME!
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¡Salud!
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hgfictionwriter · 2 days
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Handy - Part Two
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Jessie isn't done helping you with household projects. In fact, she helps you undertake your biggest one yet. But can she finally tell you how she feels? To be determined.
Warnings: None other than it's sickly sweet.
A/N: Thank you SO much for the response to the original post. I'm excited to share Part Two with you all. I hope you enjoy! Part One is here if you need it.
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"Good morning! How is your day going?"
"Morning Jessie :) My morning's going okay. It's still early, so not much to report yet lol. I have a couple of meetings later though. How is your morning going? Let me guess, even though you have the day off, you've been up since pretty much sunrise, you've probably fit in a run, a couple of chapters and had breakfast haha."
"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me? lol. And you may be right about all of those things."
"Not making fun - it's really more admiration. If I had the day off I'd still be fast asleep lol."
"There's nothing wrong with that either. For the record."
"I appreciate the sentiment lol. Very generous of you. So, what do you have planned for your day off?"
You leaned back in your chair and waited as the three dots faded in and out in sequence. A frown crossed your face as they disappeared. Before you could think too much about it they came up again. Another frown creased your forehead as they disappeared once more. You sat up. What was going on?
A few moments later the dots reappeared and shortly after a text mercifully came through from Jessie.
"I'm running some errands in the SW today. I probably won't be too far from your office. If you're not too busy or don't have plans already, maybe we could go for lunch?"
Another text came through a moment later.
"No pressure though."
You leaned back in your chair and smiled. She was really so cute.
It had been a couple of weeks since your impromptu night over at Jessie's. You'd seen each other since, including when Jessie did in fact come by your apartment to patch up the drywall.
That said, lunch together mid-week was something new.
"That sounds great. I'm in a meeting until 11:30, but can meet you after."
"Okay! You know the area, so you pick where and I'll meet you there."
The morning went by quickly and before you knew it you were walking into the restaurant and wordlessly searching the tables until you saw Jessie. If she saw you, she was making a point of not showing it. Instead, she leaned into the menu, studying it rather determinedly.
"Fancy seeing you here," you teased as you grabbed a seat. She looked up, eyebrows high in surprise and greeted you.
"Oh hey!"
You resisted the urge to blush as she - inadvertently or not - looked you up and down.
"I feel like I'm underdressed," she muttered, giving a nod to your business attire before leaning back in her chair and tucking her hands into her hoodie pocket. You gave her a look.
"Don't be silly. You look great." She gave you a dismissive frown and you went on, shrugging off your jacket and picking up the menu. "I hope you weren't waiting long."
"No, no," she dismissed readily as she began reviewing the menu once more. "Gave me time to figure out what I want."
"Okay, good. I always get the poke bowl," you told her and a wry smirk formed on her face as she looked at you over the menu.
"I knew it," she said in a very self-satisfied way.
"You know me so well." You rolled your eyes with a short laugh. "What kind of errands were you running in this part of town anyway?"
You frowned as she lifted her eyebrows high again, forehead creasing as she worked to respond. She didn't avert her eyes from the menu in her hands.
"Uh, just picking up something for the team," she relayed evenly.
"Oh. What was that?" You asked, curious and truthfully a bit skeptical.
The blush she'd been fending off broke through and her cheeks began to glow pink under your scrutiny. She shrugged her shoulders.
"Just some gear. Nothing exciting," she said with a laugh, her voice slightly higher than normal.
"Oh, I thought equipment staff would take care of things like that," you said lightly, immediately seeing her readying a rebuttal. You cut her off with a cheeky remark. "I would've said otherwise that if you just wanted to have lunch together you could simply ask."
Her face grew red and she subconsciously sunk into her chair a bit before righting herself and frowning at you.
"I know that." She nearly pouted before huffing exaggeratedly. She shot you a look and spoke pointedly. "Anyway, I have those new hinges for your cupboard. Does Friday still work for you?"
"It does, thank you," you said, allowing her some reprieve.
You enjoyed your lunch together, and although you wanted it to last longer, you had to be back at the office soon. You'd excused yourself to the washroom and when you came back Jessie was hunched over the table concentrating on something. When she heard the scraping of your chair on the floor she looked up.
"Good timing," she said with a quiet smile as she held out a small folded item for you. "His name is Bernard. He's for you."
The puzzled look on your face was quickly replaced with a wide smile as you realized what it was.
"An origami dinosaur!" You exclaimed excitedly as you looked it over. "The best use of a napkin I've seen yet."
Though Jessie wasn't outwardly beaming, the lift in her shoulders and the brightness in her eyes told you she was pleased by your reaction.
"He's awesome," you told her as you began to tuck him into your bag.
"Oh, I was just kidding, you don't have to keep him. I was just messing around," Jessie said, belated embarrassment now encompassing her. You stilled your movements and shot her a look.
"Throw Bernard away? And you kidding me?" You asked in mock offense. "He's mine now. For good."
Her cheeks were bright pink, but she laughed as she stood.
"So...Friday?" She asked again, a hint of nervousness sneaking back into her voice despite how nonchalant she was trying to make herself look. You nodded decisively.
"Friday."
"Alright. Well," Jessie stalled momentarily scratching her temple idly, her gaze focused elsewhere before she looked to you again with a small smile. "Thanks for having lunch with me. I hope your afternoon goes well."
"Thanks for meeting me. Let me know if you have to run anymore errands around here," you said with the faintest hint of teasing. It was enough to get Jessie to look away and blush once more.
"Yep. I will."
"Bye, Jess," you said easily as you stepped towards her and pulled her into a hug. Though her hold on you was still a bit tentative, like she didn't want to relax into it too much, it was still a far cry from how she'd been that first night.
When you pulled away, her hands went behind her back immediately and she went up onto her tiptoes. "I'll walk you to your car."
------
"What's this?"
You looked over with a frown. You cracked a smirk as Jessie stood there, looking at you accusingly as she held up a paint swatch as if it was a piece of evidence.
"A paint swatch," you replied slowly.
"I'm aware," she said in exaggeration before looking a bit disappointed. "Why didn't you tell me you were planning to paint?"
You shrugged, really more distracted by how cute and endearing she looked as she pouted.
"Um, I'm sorry?" You offered with lackluster earnest.
She rolled her eyes and walked over to your wall with the swatch. You watched her as she frowned in concentration, lifting her other hand up to rest on her chin as she studied the colours in front of her.
"I think-" she started before turning her head to you. "Wait - do you want my opinion?"
You laughed. "Of course I do. You're my resident handyperson. Personal reno expert. Whatever title you prefer."
Jessie's lips pulled into a tight, shy smile as her cheeks began to grow pink. She turned her attention back to the swatch.
"I like this third one. I think the one above it will just end up too washed out and the one below will make the space feel closed in and small."
"Well, we're in luck, because that's the one I was thinking of."
She gave you a nod of approval before walking back over to you. She folded her arms across her chest, planting her feet and exhaled briefly. She took a moment before looking at you.
"Well. You're going to need a lot of supplies. So, we could go together and get them," she trailed off, her gaze following before resetting. "And it'll take you ages to do this whole place on your own, so," she waved her hand aimlessly for a few seconds, "I can help."
"Jessie." You gave her a pointed look. "As much as I appreciate that, painting is a big ordeal. You've already done way too much for me."
She surprised you by looking nearly hurt by the sentiment.
"I don't mind. Seriously. I told you I was happy to help and I meant it. Mean it." She gave a listless shrug. "I like painting."
"A whole condo?" You scrutinized, arching an eyebrow at her.
She blushed a bit, the smallest of smiles sneaking out as she shrugged once more. "We make a good team."
————
It should've been no surprise to either of you that it didn't take much convincing for Jessie to get her way. The following week you were driving around town together picking up paint and accompanying supplies.
Again, you had to give yourself a reality check when you and Jessie were wandering the paint aisle of the hardware store together. It was too easy to think of yourselves as something more as you controlled the list (though curated mostly by Jessie...) and she pushed the cart and dutifully retrieved items.
It was pathetic, really, how you were fighting for your life, trying not to smile as you two were leaned in together as you compared and debated two types of paint brushes. You had to roll your eyes at yourself. You were in way too deep.
To make matters worse, Jessie - after bouncing her knee all through lunch and determinedly avoiding eye contract with you - offered to have you stay at her place while painting was under way.
"I'll take the couch again. You really can't stay here with the furniture all awry and tarped, and the fumes."
She was going to be the death of you.
"Okay, so everything's set - we've moved everything, things are tarped, supplies are laid out-"
"Meticulously so," you interjected with a teasing smirk. She shot you a mocking glare.
"We can get taping," she announced patiently.
You walked over wordlessly and removed her hat. You saw her swallow as she looked at you with wide, brown eyes.
"Not your nice hat," you told her as you tucked it away and retrieved a hat of your own. "I don't want you to get paint on it. Here, you can wear mine instead." You placed it on her head with a gentle smile, sure not to laugh at how her cheeks were now burning red.
She cleared her throat and adjusted the hat. "Okay, well, let's get started."
It was only a few minutes in when Jessie interjected.
"What are you doing?" She asked, clearly aghast and not hiding it particularly well.
You sat back on your heels and looked at her.
"Cutting in?"
"Freehand?" She said, her voice rising and narrowing her eyes in sheer disbelief. "That's what the tape-" Jessie's words trailed off as she examined your work. "Oh," sounding nearly deflated. "That's actually quite good."
You gave her a teasingly scrutinizing look as you did air quotes. "'Actually quite good.' Wow. The disrespect." She rolled her eyes at you with a laugh and nearly stamped her foot.
"Come on, you know what I mean."
You shook your head at her. "You're not the only one with skills here, Fleming."
You bit back a smile as her cheeks started to darken. She distracted by readjusting her hat, tucking her hand into her pocket and idly shifting her weight from one foot to the next.
"Is that so?" She asked.
"It is. I just haven't had my chance to shine," you continued cheekily as you stood up.
"Well, what I'm hearing is you don't need my services," she said, a glint now in her eyes.
"Jess." Her name came out like a pout and you gave her arm a gentle shove. She grinned before lifting her chin haughtily and giving a shrug.
"I mean, I can go."
"Jessie," you protested once more, jostling her a bit this time and pulling a wide smile out of her. You gave her a look of warning. "Don't make me beg you to stay."
That glint was still in her eyes as she leaned in and gave you a soft nudge with her shoulder. "Fine. I'll get back to work," she deadpanned.
You worked steadily for several hours, you and Jessie finding a good cadence and coordinating seamlessly early on. You nicked the baseboards and doorframes on a couple of occasions, but it was Jessie's fault. How could you be expected to remain steady and focused when you could see the muscles in her back flex and her calves pop as she maneuvered herself along the wall to paint. And her t-shirt sleeves rolled up onto her shoulders? A little too attractive. Never mind her biceps being on display.
The other close call was when you nearly dropped the roller when you felt her hand on your back as she shimmied past you and around the furniture at one point. The contact was feather-light, but it sent a shiver through you nonetheless.
Eventually, you both took a break, sitting flush against one another on the tarped floor, your backs against the couch that had been moved into the center of the room.
You were taking a sip of water when Jessie's phone began to buzz. You saw her look at it and you told her to take the call.
"Mm. It's just my sister. I'll call her back later." Shortly after the buzzing stopped, a text came through. Jessie read it quickly and sighed before calling her back.
You rose from your spot, aware of Jessie's eyes on you as you did so. You retreated to the other room to give her some space. However, you could still overhear Jessie despite how hushed she was trying to speak. You weren't intentionally trying to eavesdrop, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't curious.
"...I can't right now...I'm out..." A huff. "I'm...at a friend's...No...No...No." Then, in an even more hushed tone. "Y/N's..." Another exasperated huff. "I'll call you later. Yes! Okay. Bye!"
You gave it a few moments, but couldn't resist much longer and came back into the living room to see Jessie looking flustered and a blush lingering on her cheeks. She met your eyes before her gaze darted away.
"Hey," she nearly mumbled before standing up and brushing off her shorts needlessly. You, again, tried not to get distracted by her paint-covered hands. "Shall we continue?"
You worked late into the night finishing a first coat across the rooms before packing it up. Your body ached.
"I can't believe you have a game tomorrow. I'm so sorry," you told her, guilt creeping in.
"What for?" Jessie looked genuinely puzzled.
"Aren't you sore? My back is killing me," you asked incredulously.
"Oh, no, I'm feeling fine. It's good conditioning," she joked. "We'll get you a heat pack when we get back to my place."
You were going to need a hell of a lot more than a heat pack, but you gave her a grateful nod nonetheless. You bent to pick up your overnight bag, but her hand shot out and grabbed it before you could. She stood and swung it effortlessly over her shoulder.
"Ready?"
A/N: You all have me so into this now that I couldn't fit everything I wanted into two parts. Third part coming soon!
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levyfiles · 2 days
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the reaction to the update kinda proves that anon's point that a lot of people just wanted to bully them into reversing the decision rather than feeling seriously disappointed and grieved by them lol
Yep. The compromise was more than a lot of people deserve but what is my number one comfort right now is seeing how the Observer channel on the wiscord has been sending out positivity to the team and to Steven non stop and based on some of the staff dropping in with Steven to say a relieved thank you, I know that that is directed at every fan out here online wading through the unhealthy abusive throng of people gleefully telling them they're going to fail.
It felt like a shout out to every real fan right now who gave them grace, who waited it out before trying to jump down their throats telling them their company and their creative outlets were not worth the effort.
When I say real fan I'm including anyone who was disappointed or felt any type of way about it that wasn't positive because your feelings are your feelings.
The thank you from staff is not for the crowd out there who made their feelings every one else's problem. The people who messaged Shane, Ryan, and Steven's partners snarky messages about their marriages, the users who posted asinine takes in support of Youtube ads, the people who kept repeating the same empty refrain of "we don't care what you want to make; make what I want!", the morons who said "they deserve lashings! and bullying!", the badly written open letter by a known Steven bullier who I assume has already started acting like their demand for them to keep being slaves to the advertisers was fulfilled even though they probably will delete it out of embarrassment, the fans who openly planned to coordinate booing them them when they go on stage in London. None of you deserve that relieved post-harassment thank you from the staff.
And for those posting takes like this?
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I genuinely and with all my heart wish that for you also. I wish that you unsubscribe and stop hate watching. I wish that we see and hear less of your type of viewer and in turn you get what you want.
I can say with confidence that they don't want your kind of support.
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directdogman · 3 days
Note
hi, i love your games and i was just wondering something about randy, if he would date anyone cuz "beggars can't be choosers" does that include manipulative relationships?? .. like if someone bad asked him out, and they were extremely manipulative, how long would it take for randy to leave the relationship? or would he just stick with it?
((i love randy so much please tell me he would leave eventually))
It definitely puts him in danger of entering a manipulative relationship, but eventually, if treated badly enough, he would leave.
when i was writing the characters' backstories, i decided to write somewhat about their pasts too in order to get in the right headspace for each character (and knowing it'd be a good launchpad for future content, if dt succeeded) and the thing about randy is that he actually has already gone through some character development pre-meeting gingi.
the last major lesson randy learned, pre-gingi, was recognizing when people don't have your best interests at heart and cutting ties with them if that's the case. while randy is a pushover, he DOES stand up for himself in the ending where you ditch him outside of gingi's tent and then leave, when it's obvious that Gingi does NOT care about Randy. so, yeah, i think randy would leave at a point once his tolerance for bullshit is exhausted, even if his desperation makes him largely more patient than he should be. hope this helps!
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Text
Don't Lie to Me
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Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: life-threatening situations including a bomb and a Branch Davidians-style cult compound, established relationship, hurt/comfort, explicit language, slight emetophobia warning (nothing graphic) Word Count: 2.8k
Summary: You thought Emily was just going out on a typical case until you heard about the standoff at the religious compound. You knew her job was dangerous, but this is a whole new level of terrifying. And you can do nothing but wait. Takes place during S4.E3.
Emily stabbed at the last bit of scrambled egg on her plate and pointed it at you.
"I'd bet my life those kids are being abused," she said, chewing.
You took her plate to the sink, washing up from the early breakfast you'd made to send Emily off on a new case.
"I mean, isn't that kind of the whole point of cults?" you asked, scrubbing at the plates.
"It certainly seems like it." Emily walked over and placed an arm at the small of your back. "Thank you for breakfast. Do you need any help cleaning up?"
"No, I'm okay." You liked the repetitive nature of dishwashing. "You know," you thought out loud, "I was in a cult once."
Emily froze and stared at you, blazer halfway on. "What!?"
"Not that kind of cult. And I got out pretty quick. But... I did believe a lot of crazy things, and I was asked to do some illegal shit."
"Y/N, what!?" she said, slinging her go-bag over her shoulder, reluctant to leave. "What kind of crazy things?"
"Oh, I don't know," you said, drying your hands. "I carried anointing oil around for a while. And I thought shadows in corners were demons. Turns out that's just how light works."
Emily placed her hands on your shoulders, a slightly stunned expression on her face. "I have to go, but we will pick this up later because, Y/N, what!? A cult!?" She shook her head and kissed you, then once again on the forehead for good measure.
"It was just a little cult!" you joked, as she walked toward the door. "It's way easier to get dragged in than you'd think. I consider myself a pretty smart person, and even I fell for some of that bullshit."
"Mmkay," she said, leaning in the doorway. "Well, I'll do my best not to join a cult this week, but no promises."
You rolled your eyes at her. "I love you, Em. Be safe."
"Love you too, honey," she said. "See you in a few days."
You shook your head as the door shut behind her. You didn't tell many people about your "cult year," as you liked to call it, because it hadn't been nearly as extreme as most cults were and because you'd gotten out quickly. But, god, you'd believed in some stupid things. The confluence of moving to a new place, developing a severe mental illness, and falling wildly in love with the girl who was second in command had been a perfect recipe for cultish devotion. No matter. You'd made it out. And, well, fool me twice...
______________________________________________________________
Part of the beauty of working from home is that you could do whatever you wanted most of the day–no pants, no bra, watching the news or TV during lunch, calling Emily whenever you wanted.
You made yourself a sandwich and sat on the couch, turning on the news so that you could fiddle around with your laptop but still have some background noise.
You were scrolling through an article on the best laundry detergents when the reporter mentioned something about La Plata County. You glanced up and turned up the volume. Wasn't that where Emily and Spencer were?
"What is reportedly being called a routine questions and answers meeting by Colorado Child Services has turned into a violent and deadly standoff between Colorado authorities and a fringe religious group known as the Separatarian Sect. The raid on the compound..."
Your heart started to pound. Maybe you'd gotten the name of the county wrong, and Emily wasn't even close. But she had said she was visiting a religious compound and that she was going with Children's Services...
Breathing rapidly, you pulled out your phone and called Emily. Straight to voicemail. You called her again. No answer. You tried to calm yourself down–no need to panic until you knew for sure. You sent Emily a quick text:
Hey love💕 You haven't been forced into a Waco situation have you? The news is going CRAZY. Please text or call when you get a second so I know you're okay. I love you❤️
You moved your work stuff into the living room, piling it on the coffee table and keeping the volume on the news up. You felt sick to your stomach, but tried to stay calm. There was no reason to think Emily was there. Colorado was a huge state. Probably dozens of religious sects. Why would she be at that one? But the longer you went without a text or call from Emily, the more anxious you grew.
______________________________________________________________
You managed to make it about three hours before losing your goddamned mind with worry. You texted Emily again, called her again, left her an angry voicemail about how people shouldn't worry their girlfriends like this, all with no response. You'd tried Derek, too, but no luck.
Your leg bounced up and down, and you could feel tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You found one of Emily's sweatshirts in the hamper and pulled it over your shirt, balling yourself up on the couch and breathing in the scent of her. She's okay, you told yourself over and over. She's okay, she's okay, she's okay.
A breaking news alert on the TV prompted another update on the La Plata County situation. Your head shot up, and you turned the volume up, not wanting to miss a thing.
"...tactical team into a forced retreat after losing a 30-minute gun battle with sect members. Nobody knows for sure how many people are inside, but it is believed that at least three of the child service members are still trapped in the compound."
You didn't sleep that night. Not even for a moment. You sat on the couch late into the night, waiting for updates on the standoff. With each hour that passed without contact from Emily, you were more and more sure that it was her and Spencer in the compound. You'd tried calling a few more times, but the calls seemed pointless, knowing where she was. You'd waited until a decent hour the next morning to call other team members again–Derek, Penelope, JJ. No one had answered, and you'd only grown more terrified. You were scared to know for sure, but you needed to.
You looked down at your phone and took a deep breath, looking at the one number you'd resisted calling so far: Hotch. You knew Emily'd given you his number for emergencies only, but what was this if not an emergency?
The phone dialed for a few moments before picking up.
"Hotchner."
"Where is she!?" you demanded, all the emotion and fear you'd been putting off for the last day rushing to the forefront.
"Y/N," he sighed, and you could tell just by his voice. "She's–"
"Don't lie to me, Hotch! She's in that compound, isn't she?"
Hotch's words were calm, determined. "We're gonna get her out."
"Don't lie to me." Your voice shook, tears slipping down your face.
"Y/N, I swear to you, I will get her out."
"Okay," you whispered, feeling small and scared.
"I'll call as soon as I can to let you know she's okay, but it's gonna take some time."
"Thank you." You dashed tears from your eyes, sniffling.
"Of course."
The line clicked off and you sat in stunned silence for a few minutes, watching the repeated footage of the compound flash by on the TV. Emily was in there. Emily was in there. And there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it.
You paced back and forth for a while, waiting and waiting for news updates, then decided that all this waiting was futile. If Emily couldn't get home to you, you'd go to her. You booked yourself on the next flight to Durango, packed just the essentials, and ran out the door, filling Sergio's bowl and making a mental note to text a friend to check in on him if you were gone for more than a day or two.
______________________________________________________________
The hours you were in the air–with nothing but shitty airplane WiFi service–were the worst for you. You refreshed the live news page over and over again, terrified that at any moment, you'd hear news of a mass death.
When you finally got to Durango that night, you drove the rental car as close to the compound as you could, but ATF had it locked down for miles. For now, this was a close to Emily as you could get.
You booked a nearby hotel and, still wrapped in Emily's sweatshirt, sat moon-faced and bleary-eyed on the edge of the bed, watching the news, and waiting, waiting, waiting.
You'd nearly drifted off to sleep when the room filled with a blinding white-orange light. Your eyes grew wide as you watched the screen. The compound went up in flames, debris flying far and wide.
"Oh my god," you said, covering your mouth. "Oh my god."
You ran to the bathroom and vomited, then sat on the cool floor, shaking. You coughed as you hyperventilated, unable to get enough air into your lungs. You wrapped your hands around your head, rocking. There was no way. No way someone would have survived an explosion like that.
You felt like your heart was being ripped apart. It was the hope that hurt the most. The maybe she hadn't been in there? But almost certainly she was. Maybe she was okay? But probably she wasn't. Most likely, she didn't even exist anymore, had gone up in smoke with the rest of the compound, the thought of which made you vomit again. You couldn't fathom it, couldn't envision a world without Emily. You needed her. You hunched on the floor of the hotel room, leaning into the bed, and waited. Waited for news of Emily's death. You hoped that Hotch would call you first. It'd be so much easier to hear it from him, but the reporters were like vultures, and they often got the news first.
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At the compound, a deeply battered Emily, now running out of adrenaline, leaned heavily on Hotch as he walked her to an ambulance.
"You don't have to come with me," she told him, her voice gravelly. "It's not that bad."
"Prentiss, you can barely walk," Hotch protested, watching in concern as she winced climbing into the ambulance. "I wish you'd get on a stretcher."
"I am on a stretcher." Emily gave him a little wave from where she now lay, an EMT strapping her in and taking her vitals.
"I meant before now." Hotch smiled slightly. His team was beat up, but they'd be okay.
He pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts. "You need to make a call," he told Emily, putting the phone on speaker as it dialed.
"Oh, god," Emily groaned. "She's gotta be worried sick."
When you picked up, your voice was timid, rough with emotion.
"Hotch?" you whispered, terrified of what he might tell you.
"Hi, honey," Emily said, her voice heavy with love and exhaustion. It hit her, all of a sudden, that there was a good chance she might not have made it out. That she would never have seen you again. The thought brought tears to her eyes.
"Em!" you cried between sobs. "Are you okay!? Are you hurt!?"
"I'm a little banged up, but I'll make it."
"You scared the shit out of me!" you yelled, equal parts furious at her for putting her life in danger and relieved that she was okay. Emotions tumbled through your body like ocean waves.
Emily smiled and wiped a few tears from under her eyes. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Is Spencer there? Is he okay, too?"
Emily exhaled shakily. "Yeah, he's fine. We're all fine."
"Where are you?"
"Uh, in an ambulance."
"Which hospital are they taking you to?" you asked, pulling on your shoes and grabbing your keys off the hotel desk.
"Mercy?" Emily said, repeating what the EMT told her.
"I'll meet you there."
"No, honey, you don't need to come all the way here," Emily protested. "I'm okay. I'll be home in a few days."
"I'm already here, Em. Don't even try to fight me on this."
"You're here!? In Colorado?!"
"At a hotel. As close to the compound as I could get."
"You came?" Emily confirmed, her voice quiet, like she couldn't quite believe someone would love her enough to be there.
"Emily," you breathed. "Of course I did."
A few tears escaped Emily's eyes, and Hotch looked away.
"Now," you said, clearing your throat and trying to pull yourself together. "Please, please, let the doctors take care of you. I'll be there soon, okay?"
"Okay," she sniffled.
"I love you."
"I love you, too," Emily said, before hanging up and handing the phone back to Hotch.
The EMT handed her a paper towel to use as a tissue and she laughed, dabbing at her eyes and nose. "Thanks," she said.
Hotch smiled, watching her.
"What?" she said.
"She really loves you."
"I know."
______________________________________________________________
At the hospital, Emily heard you before she saw you. You were the first thing she heard after waking up from surgery, and she couldn't help but smile. You were giving the nurses a run for their money, which was saying something. You were usually so patient, so accommodating. Not today.
"Look," you railed at the nurse's station. "I've been in the waiting room for hours! I have been awake for three days straight, and my girlfriend has been a cult hostage that whole time! I am not in the mood to be held hostage too! Take me to her now, or I swear to god I will get the fucking FBI director on the line."
Emily's face brightened when you came in the room, but yours fell. She looked awful. Her face was bruised and swollen, bandages covered her body, and her arm was in a cast.
"Oh, Em," you said, your voice breaking, as you grabbed her hand, pressing your palm gently to her cheek.
"I'm okay." But she wasn't, and you could tell.
"It's okay, baby," you reassured her, running your fingers gently through her hair. "You don't have to be okay now, alright? I'm here. I'm here to take care of you."
Her breath hitched, and you could tell she was fighting off tears. It broke your heart. She always felt like she needed to be strong. It was time to let someone else be strong for a change.
You lowered the railing of the hospital bed, and lifted yourself in, gently pulling Emily into you. She grasped desperately at your shirt and fought off sobs.
"Shh," you whispered, cradling her head. "Let it out, love. I'm right here. You're safe now."
You held her while she cried, heartbroken that she'd been so scared and so hurt and, yet, proud that she handled it like no one else in the world could. And for neither the first time nor the last, you felt the immense weight and honor of being someone Emily Prentiss felt safe enough to break down with.
When she quieted, you rocked her and held her and placed small, gentle kisses on her head, trying to convey all your love for her, all your protectiveness toward her through osmosis.
You remembered, quite suddenly, the last conversation you'd had before Emily left, about cults.
"I told you," you whispered, giggling.
"Told me what?"
"That it was easy to get dragged into a cult."
"That is not the same," Emily argued, playfully shoving you. "I was held hostage. You were just dumb."
"Ouch."
"You didn't hoard weapons or anything, did you?"
"No," you scoffed. "Of course not."
"Well, what'd you do?" she pressed.
"What do you mean?"
"You said you did some illegal shit in the cult, so what did you do?"
"Oh," you laughed. "Nothing too serious. We bugged some people's rooms, recorded conversations."
"...Why?"
"We thought they were in cahoots with the devil."
Emily laughed, then grabbed her ribs, wincing. "'Cahoots with the devil!?' God, I'm so glad I found you after your religious days."
"What can I say? You get the very best of me."
Emily beamed up at you, pulling you down by your collar to kiss you. You stayed gentle and soft, mindful of her split lip and bruised face.
You held your forehead to hers, breathing in her scent. That familiar Emily scent that you'd been so sure you'd never get again.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," you whispered.
"I won't," Emily said, burying her face in your chest.
"Don't lie to me."
You felt her smile into your skin. "I'll try."
You sighed and grinned. "I guess that'll do. But only because I love you so much."
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star-hoon · 3 days
Text
OBSESSED (p. sunghoon)
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I’M SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR EX
(based on the song obsessed by olivia rodrigo, but through the pov of crushing on your best friend’s ex)
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pairing: sunghoon x fem reader
includes/warnings (16+): best friend’s ex! au, reader and hoon smokes (pls be safe lol), suggestive material, angst, profanity, smoking/drinking, pda (let me know if i missed anything!)
word count: 2.3k+
synopsis: you and your best friend were as close as friends could be, never keeping secrets from each other. you told each other everything—including exes and past relationship horror stories. but you’ve never seen or met her ex, park sunghoon. but in bullet points you did know him; his blood type, his star sign, heard about how handsome he is, and the way he’d kiss…all through your best friend’s ramblings.
after all three of you end up at the same party a year after they broke up, can things remain the same?
— PART 2: IN PROGRESS ᝰ.ᐟ
OBSESSED SOUNDTRACK
"i fantasize about it all the time if you were mine..."
you hummed along to ariana grande playing in your headphones as you headed to your favorite coffee shop.
as you approached the front of the cafe, you couldn't help but notice a girl sitting alone with tear stained cheeks. you removed your headphones and could hear her sniffling. seeing the handful of used tissues was not a subtlety to her crying.
you didn't want to intrude considering she was a stranger, but you could sense she was there alone and looked like she needed someone to check on her. hesitantly, you approached waved your hand in her eye-line as if you were approaching a bunny and trying not to scare it.
"hi, i'm so sorry if i'm intruding or disturbing you. but i was wondering if you're okay?" your tone soft and eyes naturally falling on her smudged mascara.
once she composed her sniffles and cleared her throat she replied, "thank you...that's very nice of you. i-i'm fine..." the latter half of her was more of statement of convincing herself. despite the tears still brimming her lash line, she smiled.
"i'm fine" she repeats wiping under her eyes. "my boyfriend and i just broke up and this was the closest place to my apartment. just wanted to get out and get some fresh air you know?"
"i'm sorry to hear that. screw him, you probably deserve better anyways" you tease trying to lighten the mood.
"do you mind if i sit? i'm y/n by the way" you pointed toward the chair across from her at the table. she nodded with a with a shy smile. "i'm sage"
"nice to meet you, can i buy you a coffee?"
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it's been a year since you and sage met. since then you have become best friends and inseparable. because you two live basically across the city from each other and both worked, it was hard to find time to see each other from day to day. so weekends and your guys' friday sleepovers were precious to you.
sage poured each of you a shot of soju as you took the takeout boxes out of the plastics bags, spreading them out across the dinner table.
as the clear liquid in the soju bottle slowly decreased as the night went on, the volume of your guys' laughter echoed louder throughout her apartment. you and sage were swiping through screenshots of terrible dating app conversations together, cringing at what guys have said to you both.
"oh god...looking at all of these terrible dudes makesme missss sunghoon" sage slurring her words as her sentence tapered off.
you almost choked as you weren't sure if you heard her correctly. "i'm sorry did you say you miss sunghoon?!" your eyes nearly popped out of your head.
sage never was one to handle her alcohol well.
"c'mon y/n, i'm just kidding. well sorta..." you shot her a look of 'elaborate what 'sorta' means in this situation'.
"i don't actually miss him of course. we broke up over a year ago! so i'm way over it. and i think sunghoon and i broke up for the better. i'm just saying seeing all these gross guys is just making me reminisce about a relationship that was good while it lasted you know?"
you giggled and let out a hum of acknowledgement.
"but i will say..." sage's eyes filled with mischief as her lips upturned into a smirk. "sunghoon was suuuuuch a good kisser though. he's definitely the hottest guy i've dated."
her cheeks no longer only flushed from the alcohol. she continued to ramble on about sunghoon and leaving you with a bullet point list of useless facts about sunghoon: his favorite color, his blood type, his astrology sign, his love of ice skating, and *other* details of their private life that you didn't ask to know about but were forced to hear anyways.
eventually you decided the night was coming to close as your wobbly guided sage by her shoulders to her side of the bed, laughing at her useless mumbling. you pulled the covers over her shoulder as she snuggled closer to her pillow.
you made your way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. as you stared back at yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but find the situation funny.
you knew what the textbook definition of 'park sunghoon' was but you've never met him, you don't even know what he looks like.
because why would you, right?
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the next day (saturday)
"hey, you remember my friend jake right? he invited us to his party tonight"
"australian one, looks like a golden retriever?"
"bingo"
you didn't say much after that. you weren't much of party person. you weren't quite the social butterfly like sage. it always felt like you were just the 'quiet best friend' to your much more interesting counterpart.
sage always reassured you that wasn't true. she would always say anyone who didn't like you was the lame one.
"c'mon y/nnn please?...it'll be fun i promise. jake always throws the best parties" she gave you her best attempt at puppy eyes. "i know you don't love parties but its an excuse to put on a cute outfit at least."
you rolled your eyes with a smile at her ridiculous yet infallible girl-logic. she always knew you liked putting on a cute outfit and taking pictures more than actually going out.
"fineee....!" you replied.
"yay!!! we're gonna have fun tonight y/n trust, do you think jake's gonna invite any hot friends?"
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"too bad your ex don't do it for ya,
walked in and dream came trued it for ya..."
you and sage were having your own personal world tour in your bathroom scream-singing to sabrina carpenter. her hairbrush and your makeup brush each being your respective microphones.
after spending way too much time getting ready and taking photos together, you two were finally ready to head to jake's house.
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you and sage stepped out of the car, already hearing the heavy bass booming from the house.
sage linked her arm with yours as you guys approached the front door. a chill went up your spine and it wasn't from the night air.
it's just a party. what's the worst that can happen right?
you stepped into the house and naturally it felt as if everyone already knew sage, greeting her with the usual "sage!! omg you're finally here!" and her having to introduce you as you give shy, awkward smiles.
"y/n!!" you whipped your head around because someone (that wasn't sage) was calling your name.
"yooo let's gaurrr! y/n! i'm so glad you could make it, i didn't think you would!" jake greeted you with that ever-charming smile of his and pulled you in for a hug.
"hi jake! thanks so much for inviting me, this party is no joke" you nodded and glanced around at his impressive DJ set up and lights.
"what can i say? i play hard" he shrugs and flirtatiously bites his lip. as you were about to respond, one of his friends calls for him from across the room.
"i'm so sorry my boy over there needs me but there are drinks in the kitchen and the bathroom is the last door down the hall, have fun!" he shouts over the loud music as he makes his way through the crowd of people.
you were left alone and sage was god-knows where. you made your way to the kitchen to get a drink and after some failed attempts of finding your best friend, you made your way to the backyard.
the cold night breeze was refreshing to breath in as you stood at a wall near the pool. you reached into your bag and pulled out a cigarette and lighter.
you cupped your hands around the cigarette in your mouth, trying to get the last bit of juice from your almost-dead lighter. so concentrated on clicking the lighter, you barely noticed the figure that approached you.
it wasn't until a flame hovered around the outside of your hand did you look up. all you could do was stare back at the stranger in silence for what felt like forever. he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen.
he wore a vintage denim jacket that complimented his tall frame perfectly. his beautiful pale skin was perfectly illuminated with the lights coming from the porch, contrasting his slightly messy dark hair. everything about him exuded a cool and mysterious aura. he smirked and quirked his thick eyebrows at you. he truly looked like a prince.
you dropped your hands as you moved your cigarette to the flame of his lighter. as the tip of your cigarette was engulfed in the flame, you could feel his intense gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips.
once your cigarette was lit, you pulled away and stared into his eyes. inhaling and exhaling the smoke along with a shy "thanks".
"any time" he responded, his pointed canines peeking out as he spoke.
"that's a sick lighter, by the way"
"oh yeah? thanks it's vintage from japan..." your compliment suddenly making him seem shy. you smiled at his suddenly adorable expression.
"...i feel like other people don't really get to see it because no one i really know smokes" he continued.
"oh? so i'm not 'other people'? wow i must special" you give a sarcastic shocked/proud expression while batting your lashes at him. the mix of alcohol and nicotine suddenly hitting, making you bolder than usual it seemed.
"yeah, you could say that" he chuckled and bit his lip, eyeing you up and down. he took in your all-black outfit, your mini skirt and cropped tank top not leaving much to his imagination. you were cutest girl in this whole damn party.
touché, two can play that game.
"can i actually have a cig? must've dropped my pack on the way here" you nodded and put your cig in your mouth free up your hands, reaching for your purse.
before you could do anything else, he leaned in closer to you and extended his left arm next to your head, caging you in to the wall you were leaning against. he gently pulled the cigarette from your mouth drawing a puff for himself. you didn't miss the way he licked the hint of your lipgloss from his lips that was on mouth of the cigarette.
god damn...can this guy be any hotter?
the smell of smoke and his clean cologne filled your lungs, intoxicating you with nothing but lust. "thanks" he replied with a wink, handing the cigarette back to you.
"so, what's a cute little thing like you doing out here all by yourself hm? i figured you'd be in there with every guy all over you" nodding towards the house behind you.
you almost forgot about the party completely. this handsome stranger totally consumed your whole mind in the span of minutes. you stared down at the buttons on his jacket, flashing a coy smile with a faint laugh.
"parties aren't really my thing, and trust me guys usually don't even notice me. my best friend dragged me here and she kinda just left me in there. she's probably the one with guys all over her right now" you cringed at yourself, letting your self-deprecating humor slip.
"i should thank her then: she brought you here and i get you all to myself."
your gaze went down to his lips, they were just asking to be kissed at this point. he leaned in even closer, you could feel his breath against your face.
"fuck, can i please kiss you?" his pupils were blown out waiting for your response.
you closed the gap between you two, dropping the butt of the now finished cigarette on the ground next to you.
he sighed into the kiss, right hand landing on your waist. your hands went up to the nape of his neck softly tugging on his dark strands.
he deepend the kiss pressing you flush against the wall, one hand cupping your face and the other touching the small of your back. fingertips against exposed skin between your skirt and top pushing you into him. his touch made your skin feel like it was on fire. you parted your lips slightly, giving him the perfect opportunity slip his tongue into your mouth.
the kiss tasted like mint, smoke, and the slightest hint of whatever fruity alcohol you guys consumed. it was so hot and you couldn't get enough.
his lips moved to pepper soft kisses down your jaw and gradually biting and licking on your neck. he bit on the sensitive part of your neck leaving love bites behind, his pointed teeth scraping your skin causing you to let out a soft whine.
he inhaled your sweet perfume, the smell fueling his lust even further. "fuck you're driving me crazy princess" he groaned lowly in your ear.
the pet name turning you into a whimpering mess, trying not to be too loud considering you two were still in public was damn was he making it difficult. his hand grazed your outer thigh, riding up slightly under your skirt as slotted his thigh between your legs.
you began to grind into him letting out a weak "please..." you begged grabbing onto the collar of his jacket and the back of his neck. you didn't quite know what you were begging for, but you just knew you needed him in every sense of the word.
he looked down at where your body met his thigh, grinding helplessly against him. "i know baby...such a good girl for me". in between kisses, he whispered all of the dirty things he wanted to do to you.
"can we go back to your place?...let's get out of here" you panted desperately trying to catch your breath for intense kiss. he nodded with a cheeky grin.
"wait, what's your name? I'm y/n." you both laughing into one another that you didn't even ask each other's name until now.
"i'm-"
"SUNGHOON?!" both you and the raven haired boy whipped your heads in direction of his name that didn't even get the chance to leave his lips.
holy. fuck. it was sage.
and you just made out with sunghoon.
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“i’m so obsessed with your ex, i know [he's] been asleep on my side of your bed"
PART 2?
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taglist: @yeonzzzn @gyuoonz @woniebae @dimplewonie @gudkc
author's note: HOLYSHIT my first work! i really hoped this lived up to the expectations to the people who wanted this fic ;-; lmk if you guys want part 2 hehe
ahh i was lowkey so nervous bc i have no idea if my writing is good (like at all) and so many things changed with what was in my mind vs. when i actually started writing but i'm looking forward to creating even better stories, and get even better at writing!
thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think <3
reblogs, likes, & comments are always appreciated!!
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sc0tters · 1 day
Text
Bout Time | Steven Holtz & Jacob Truscott
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summary: how far can your brothers requests go if he isn't around?
pairing: Steven Holtz x Lapointe!Reader x Jacob Truscott
request: yes/no
warnings: mature themes, p in v, threesome, oral (both fem and m receiving), swearing.
word count: 3.47k
authors note: I don't have a clue who's idea this was originally but let's take a moment to say thanks to @mirrorballmcgroarty for bringing this one to us! and for letting me try a few different things with it...
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The house was buzzing as the team came back from an away win.
The seniors wanted to celebrate and that’s how you landed on the couch “do you think she knows what she’s doing to us?” Steven crossed his arms as he watched you laugh at something Thomas had said. 
Of course the boys were happy to see their old teammate return to the school as the Sharks were playing Detroit the next day.  But what they didn’t want to see was how close you were to your ex fuckbuddy “wouldn’t put it past her.” Jacob grumbled knowing exactly what game you played with them. 
Since sophomore year you got a kick out of flirting with the boys, but one detail that was missed was that you flirted with Steven first. Your brother Phil remained none the wiser as you would be in the same room of a party laughing at whatever happened when his own roommates would have thoughts about you. Ones so naughty that they often had the boys in their rooms, with their hands fisting their cocks picturing that it was your mouth or your cunt instead. The boys watched you sit on his lap giving him a chance to finally kiss your neck as he got the chance the practically be faced with your breasts. 
You were in this spaghetti strap top and shorts that were enough to make most of the guys do a double take of you “are you gonna do something?” Steven motioned to Jacob to break up whatever was forming “you think they’re gonna stop me?” Thomas grinned as he ran his fingers over your side. 
The two of you had been flirting at first but when you noticed that the boys staring things quickly changed. Thomas couldn’t deny that he was still attracted to you, so when you said you wanted to push their buttons he couldn’t say no. 
So as he ran his fingers through your hair the two of you were reminded about all that once happened “you two are not fucking on the couch.” Jacobs whine made you smirk “don’t see you coming to anyone else to stop ‘em.” You could see at least five couples around you both looking like they were close to leaving, including Phil and Khiana. 
Thomas squeezed his hand around your waist as he looked at his phone to see the time “she needs to take me back to the hotel anyways.” He announced making all three of the still Umich students heads snap in his direction “you need one of us to come with you?” Your amusement quickly turned to irritation as you glared at the duo. 
Sure you wanted to tease them, even rile them up a little. But getting cockblocked was not on the list of options you were willing to have “I am pretty sure I can drive my car alone.” You pointed out as you only had one drink when you got there before you switched to water.
The boys watched you leave almost three hours ago, and now with the duo being left alone in the house to clean after Phil went to the hotel with Khiana. The boys thought the worst as you hadn’t shown up like you normally did “party is over kid!” Steven called out hearing the front door open. 
Your laughter was followed by it “came to help clean up.” You were always there as an extra set of hands when the party was over.  Neither boy liked waking up to a messy house hence why they stayed up the night before “you have a good night?” Steven smiled watching you tug your hair back into a messy updo. 
His comment made you raise your eyebrows “yeah it was good to see Tom again.” You nodded tugging at the necklace on your collarbones “but you will be happy to know that I stayed a holy child tonight.” Your comment now made them both feel surprised. 
They looked at each other trying to process what was going on “but you were gone for so long.” Jacob pointed out as he crossed his arms wondering if this was really the stuff they were meant to be asking you about. 
But when laughter left your lips both boys watched you in confusion “not every guy only lasts five minutes boys.” You pointed out making them both turn red “thought even you two would know that.” You added with a smirk as they grew irritated. 
Both of them were lost for words as they looked at each other “we know how to be in bed.” Steven coughed the words out as Jacob sent him a glare “it’s okay to not be that experienced boys.” You teased patting Jacob on the chest as you winked at the older boy.
Before they got the chance to respond they watched you turn to the kitchen, bringing a load of empty beer bottles with you “she is going to get us killed.” Steven pointed out with a sigh “what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” Jacob pointed out as there was an entire rule Phil created for the team leaving you off limits. But as he was shit out of luck expecting it to be kept up with him thirty minutes away and at a hotel for the night. 
They were able to behave for now getting most of the cleaning done even “did you really care if I slept with him?” You always had a soft spot for the captain as you sat on the counter “who you sleep with shouldn’t be my issue.” Jacob sighed as he dropped the towel that he had in his hands.
You let out a huff almost frustrated that you were serving yourself up to him on a silver platter, after pushing as many buttons as you could “even if it was you?” Finally his head snapped to turn to you “you better not fuck with me.” Jacob found himself between your legs as you turned your head up to his. 
It felt like the air around you both grew warm “dead serious.” You nodded finally watching him cup your cheeks. 
His hands were rough against your skin, almost not caring that Steven only throwing the trash away. Jacob dropped his head finally letting years of want and desire get what they had been waiting for since freshman year. The kiss had your lips feeling like they were on fire, moulded together in the same way a final piece of a puzzle fits in. 
A moan left your lips as you let your hands scratch up the inside of his chest running over his muscles “am I walking in on something?” Steven let the question slip from his lips causing your head to turn in his direction. 
The boys both looked at each other almost ignoring you “not if you wanna join.” You announced standing up as your body pressed against the captains. 
They swore that you were going to be the death of them as they looked back at you. Steven walked closer as he watched the younger boy squeeze at your waist “that what you want?” Jacob’s rough voice made you squirm. 
Your legs pressed together in an attempt to suppress the heat you felt causing an inaudible noise to leave your lips as you nodded “unless you say it we won’t do it.” Steven sighed as he kissed your shoulder “I need you both.” You gasped pushing the words out of your mouth. 
Their silence made you want to cry “want you to fuck me please.” Your whine was enough to make their cocks grow hard “look at you so well mannered.” Jacob raked his fingers through her hair as you whimpered. 
You couldn’t help nod, desperately wanting either of them to make a move “why don’t you go sit on my bed in nothing.” Jacob kissed your neck as you nodded. 
Both boys felt their patience being tested as they watched you saunter upstairs “why aren’t we going?” Steven grumbled wanting to hit his teammate for letting you go “because we need to see if she knows how to listen or if she’s gonna be a brat.” The captain smirked as if he had planned this all out already. 
You looked at your body in the reflection of his mirror “told you she couldn’t follow a simple instruction.” Jacob clicked his tongue as he shook his head “thought so much better of her.” Steven sighed watching you turn around to face them in nothing more than your bra and panties. 
You walked back to them with a soft smile on your lips “wanted to give you boys something to take off.” You explained reaching back to unclip your bra “aren’t you huff so considerate.” Jacob scoffed tugging at the straps pulling your bra down to the ground as your breasts bounced. 
Their eyes were drawn to the grin on your lips “who do you want first?” Steven’s words reminded you both that he was there “want your mouth.” Since you heard a rumour about the older boy being a great bottom you let your mind run wild with fantasies.
Jacob couldn’t help but feel jealous as he watched you kiss Steven. After all the older boy was the one who you flirted with first and even if Jacob got the chance to kiss you first, the feelings you seemed to hold for the other boy stayed stronger. 
It was like this hotted blackout where before you knew it your thighs pressed against Steven’s head. And Jacobs lips were against your breasts “fuck me.” You gasped feeling the captain nip at your sensitive peaks. 
The sensation made you sit on Steven’s face finally giving the boy what he wanted as his tongue licked up your slit. The feeling made you moan causing Jacob to look up at you, letting his lips pop from your nipple as saliva trailed from his lips “you make such pretty noises.” Jacob let out a soft laugh as he kissed your lips.
You were feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure you felt almost forgetting how to breathe, as your hand ran down Jacob’s chest you cupped his aching boner. Moaning when Stevens nose grazed your clit “you gonna let me see just what these pretty lips can do?” His rough voice made you whimper as your mouth salivated, watching your fingers painfully fiddle with his shorts. 
Jacob was close to throwing a few warnings your way when you tugged at his shorts pulling them down with his boxers. His cock hit his pelvis bone and your eyes would have popped out of your head if you were a cartoon character “you can touch it pretty girl.” He cooed making you place your hands on his thighs to help steady you. 
The effort you had to use to on his swollen mushroom head was practically cruel “I am gonna shove it down your throat if you don’t fuck these licks.” He grunted having enough of your teasing spreading the precum from his cock around the head “so strict.” Steven took the action to slap your ass making you writhe against him.
It was quick but you realized that they were very much going to be on the same team, maybe even against you. So you listened wrapping your lips around his cock running your tongue along the base of it. 
Jacob let out a grunt as Stevens hand squeezed at your thigh as you moaned “This mouth is fucking heaven.” The hockey player tugged his fingers through your hair forcing you to take more of him as your throat constrict around his cock. 
Steven continued to lap at your clit making you moan around the captain “so is this pussy.” Steven spoke up as you squealed. 
You clenched around his tongue driving your hips against his face wanting to get yourself off. The room felt sweaty as you looked up at Jacob through your batted eyelashes “hi pretty.” Jacob smirked feeling the edges of your lips curve upright. 
He watched you drop his cock from your mouth “I am gonna cum holy fuck.” You announced tugging your freehand through Steven’s hair “hold it until you’ve got me in your mouth.” Jacob’s demand wasn’t something that you were going to argue with it.
Not when you’re chasing such a high that was needy and full of desperation “who woulda thought that the easiest way to get you all quiet would be to shove a dick in your mouth?” His vulgar words made you moan as tears formed in your ears feeling Steven speed up beneath you. 
So you tilted your head upwards making sure you were able to take more of his cock “fucking there we go now.” He grunted beginning to fuck your throat as he felt his thrusts grow scattered “fuck!” Jacob gripped at your hair as he forced you to stop letting your nose hit his lower abdomen. 
The boy watched in awe as you practically sucked his cock like a straw letting his release shoot a sticky string of cum against your throat. Your orgasm wasn’t far behind as the Jacob changed his attention to teasing your nipples “let go.” Your moans were muffled with the boys release still in your mouth after you saw the way he smirked seeing the sight. 
Your body shook as his hands, making sure to hold on tight enough that the vibrations that sent through you weren’t going to be enough to make you fall off of Steven. Your thighs dug into the mattress as your eyes stayed on the captain who watched his cum drip out of your mouth and down your chin “please jesus.” You whimpered feeling like you saw stars as his thumb caught your chin bringing his release back into your mouth. 
Your lips swirled around his tongue making it easier for you to remain composed as Steven lapped at your cunt like you were his last meal “swallow f’me.” Jacob ordered feeling himself grow hard again as you obliged. 
The salty liquid slid down your throat with ease as Steven tapped your thigh when you came down from your high “think you can give us one more?” His voice was soft as you pulled off of him. 
You nodded watching Steven sit up straight “of course our little slut is.” Jacob smirked watching you bring your hands up to cover your breasts “no baby let us see you.” The older boy clicked his tongue as his hands wrapped around your wrists. 
He smiled as he took in the sight of you. They swore it was heavenly watching you bite at your lower lip “you look so painful.” You mumbled staring at his cock at sat under his shorts “and feeing so naked to you both.” Your whine reminded them both that they were still in their clothes besides for the fact that Jacob had his boxers half way down his thighs. 
The boys watched you in awe “all you have to do is say the word.” Steven reminded you as he pulled his shirt off of his shoulders “want you to fuck me so bad.” You whined still wanting so much more. 
It made Jacob nod “so who gets that privilege?” He cocked his head as your eyes didn’t leave his.
Your hand shook as you lifted it up to point to him making him smile. Sure it hurt Steven but as you crawl over to his side and kissed him he couldn’t remember his negative feelings for you. 
The taste of your lips was sweet on his tongue “such a pretty girl.” He mumbled with your cheeks in his hands. 
The mattress dipped behind you as Jacob sat down letting his hands grip at your hips. As his cock swiped over your slit you tilted your hips back to his “still such a needy little slut after all that.” Jacobs laugh taunted you as he slid his cock into your core. 
Steven held you up as he pulled away to watch your face contort adjusting to the captains size “move Jacob please.” You whimpered feeling your walls hug his throbbing cock. 
He gratefully obliged letting his hips begin to roll as he pulled out to the point where only his tip was felt by your cunt. Before he sunk back into you allowing your hips to be met by his as he bottomed you out. 
You were still sensitive from your orgasm mere minutes ago, making you whimper “you think you can handle a bit more?” Steven’s voice was soft as he ran his fingers over your lower lip. Like he hadn’t pictured it wrapped around his cock a hundred times over. 
When you didn’t say anything still trying to get used to the sheer force that the boys hips snapped into yours at as the tight feeling of your core made him hard all over again “answer us when we talk to you baby.” Jacob warned tugging at your hair in annoyance as it made you squeal.
Your eyes connected back with the older boys as you nodded “yeah.” Your word was shaky since most of your energy was forced into your legs to keep you upright.
Steven nodded tugging at his shorts letting his own cock come out. Now Jacob might have been longer but the boy in front of you was thicker “can help you through it.” He mumbled giving your lips one last kiss. 
It was easier to keep yourself from collapsing onto the bed as Jacob dug his fingers into the meat of your hips. Part of you wanted to tease Steven in the ways that you did with Jacob but that wasn’t possible as the new angle that Jacob for you at. Had you feeling him in your throat making you moan, which Steven naturally took as his cue to slot his cock between your lips. 
The boys quickly settled into a rhythm that had you feeling hotter than ever. Used at both sides for these selfish boys who only wanted to make themselves feel good in that moment “fucking hell.” Steven let out a grunt as he ran his fingers through your hair making a makeshift ponytail.
The walls soaked up the sounds of skin slapping and soft grunts that spewed from the boys lips as they wanted to corrupt you for any future partners, even if they came from your past. Memories would be engraved in their minds of not only how you felt or tasted. But truthfully of how they felt so at ease with you, even if it was just between your legs. 
This night had fulfilled all fantasies you might have once had with them working in constant opposite unison. As Jacob pulled back Steven would force you to take more of his cock. 
And they could tell that you were close by the way that you quickly began a whimpering mess as the older boy painted your chest with his release, opting to make you instead like his own personal toy. 
He watched you whimper “go on baby milk his cock.” Steven’s voice was barely a whisper but you didn’t need to be offered it twice as your hand went to your clit. 
Your head hit his shoulder as you cried “fuck fuck fuck!” You chanted letting your body writhe against them both. 
It was your orgasm as your eyes screwed shut that triggered the captains, leaving the walls of your cunt painted from his release “there we go.” He grunted slowly thrusting into you twice more before he pulled out. Letting his release mix with yours as it oozed down the inside of your thigh before you were let to rest your head on his bedsheet as they shifted to your sides instead.
They watched in awe as your chest heaved until you came down from your orgasm “you still with us pretty girl?” Steven smiled as you nodded “bath.” You blurted out making both of them laugh. But still even in that fucked out state that you were in, neither one was ready to say no.
Phil came home the next morning blissfully unaware of the fact that you were still fast asleep in the arms of his best friend and captain. Both boys ready planning what they wanted to do next leaving you with some surprises along the way. So here’s to the best graduation send off of all time, with hockey, sun, and sex.
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yanderes-galore · 3 days
Note
Hello, could you make a platonic concept for Sonic and Tails (game version) sharing the reader? Since they both see each other as brothers, they could try to make the reader their new sibling.
Aww... Sonic and Tails making you part of a trio 💜 Here you go! Sorry for the long wait as always, I'm really trying :)
Yandere! Platonic! Sonic + Tails Sharing Darling
Pairing: Platonic - Sharing
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Jealousy, Paranoia, Tracking, Stalking, Violence, Brief blood mention, Clingy behavior, Implications of murder, Dubious companionship.
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Sonic and Tails have been friends for, what, years?
The two are probably the closest to one another due to all the adventures they've had.
They'd definitely share an obsession between one another as friends.
I can't really see the two fighting over someone... they care for each other too much.
The two would be protective of a shared friend between them.
Like... extremely protective.
The two have been through nearly everything together since they were friends.
Most of the time it's due to them dealing with Eggman.
I imagine the two ended up meeting you on one of their adventures, perhaps even saving you from Eggman.
Sonic is his usual cool and laid-back self, always playful with you and Tails.
Tails is more shy but always wants to help you out, often offering you a gadget to help your daily life.
The two love to give their friend gifts as then you'll think of them.
The two are no doubt incredibly affectionate with you as their friend.
Now, if they view you as a friend or sibling... they could go either way as it doesn't change much.
Tails seems like he'd love hugs, honestly Sonic would too but not admit it often.
There's times when you greet them and the two bombard you in affection.
They are both definitely physical when it comes to affection.
Regardless on how they view you, as platonic yanderes they take such a role seriously.
The two value your safety... especially with all they've been through.
Tails definitely hides at least one tracker on you to know where you are like in his usual concepts.
He'd often alert Sonic where you are, originally he only uses it to keep you out of trouble.
Over time they both just find comfort in knowing where to find you....
I imagine Tails is more tame while Sonic can come off as intense at times.
Sonic can come off as intimidating if his friends are hurt.
In this case that would include both you and Tails.
Because of the universe and personalities of both characters, I don't expect any murder.
Violence on the other hand... that can happen.
Tails seems like the type who would give subtle threats to those who bother you.
While Sonic is similar, I can see Sonic being more up front about threats.
While the two care about you a lot, I want to believe they won't socially isolate you too much.
They'd be more likely to just insert themselves into interactions you have instead.
For example, you'll be talking with someone only to have either Sonic or Tails join the conversation.
Tails is always so sweet about it while Sonic uses his popularity to distract the attention off of you.
I'd say they both can get jealous.
Tails is more quiet about it but Sonic seems to be more vocal about it.
They're probably one of the best duos to have since they are mostly not that intense.
They genuinely just want to care for their friend and most likely won't kidnap you.
Instead there's the whole tracking situation... but with that you at least have your freedoms, right?
They aren't too fond of isolating you too much.
Even Sonic loves his freedom.
Instead they choose to protect you from danger as friends should.
Although... they may make you second guess your choice in friends.
Maybe the two end up giving you trust issues, jealous if you're spending time with others more than them.
They can be lenient... to a point.
The two see themselves as your heroes, always knowing what's best for their dearest friends.
Heroes shouldn't get blood on their hands...
Key word is shouldn't
However... perhaps there's some exceptions.
If the two ever did hurt someone for you, they'd work together to hide it.
The most I can see them doing is beating someone up or threatening someone to be quiet.
The two killing is rare and almost unheard of...which may just give them the perfect cover if I'm being honest.
You have no clue what the extent of their friendship with you really is.
Far as you know, they're harmless heroes who are just protective of you.
In reality they may be threatening and beating up those who may make your life less than perfect.
Perhaps the friendly exterior Sonic and Tails have around you and others isn't fully truthful?
Maybe they really do threaten, lie, beat up... or maybe even kill...
But surely there's nothing to worry about...! They'd never do such a thing... that's what you tell yourself, that is.
In reality, who knows what they do to maintain their friendship with you...
Perhaps the rumors are true... and there really is blood on their hands.
"Hey, has anyone been bothering you lately? You seem a bit worried...."
"You shouldn't have to worry, friend... we'll take care of everything, right?"
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simping-for-joe · 3 days
Note
Hi! I saw you're taking requests, this might be little long one. I've been sending this request to some writers but I guess they're busy or don't like the idea.
I don't see shit like this anymore but brother's bestfriend Leon?
It can either be re4 Leon or re2 Leon, whatever you want! So basically there's age gap, a lil bit enemies to lovers and brother's bestfriend. If I could write, I'll definitely write this. So reader hates Leon, she thinks he's a fuckboy, but he's not, sure he's been with a few women but he's a cutie patootie who respects women. As for Leon, he's irritated with her because of her attitude towards him.
Maybe inexperienced reader too? Yes, she's had lots of boyfriends, but she's a daddy's girl, daddy taught her that men are the worst and that she should never chase them. She hates it when boys date her for her looks, body, etc. She wants to lose it to the one, ifykwm. Maybe if you can, include brother's reaction to them? (Not in the act, it's uo to you)
You can change some or the whole thing if you'd like, I just want to read some brother's bestfriend Leon😭
Be Somebody to Someone
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Brother's Best-friend Leon Kennedy X Inexperienced! Female! reader
Implied sexual themes (I don’t know if this is a warning since nothing happens but making out but I wanted to be safe)
You come home for your brother planning to propose to his girlfriend, You end up meeting Leon Kennedy after years your older brother's best friend who grew up with.
Y/N: Honestly, I love inexperienced reader, cause I think no matter the age Leon would be so patient and sweet with them. Also I remember brother's best friend Leon used to be everywhere and I liked it. Also I'm not a huge enemies to lovers person (expect very specific cases), but I will try my best to put some hostilely in there. Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!
(Title from Someone to You By BANNERS)
You grab your luggage from baggage claim. A soft sigh leaving your lips, your brother was going to propose. Yet, you had been broken up with again. The minute you talked about actual commitment your boyfriends would run off. It was frustrating, and at this point you were just tired. You walk out to see your mom and dad who smile brightly upon seeing you. You get rid of those thoughts as you smile back at them, hugging them tightly.
You watch out the window as they ask you the usual questions. "How are you?" "Any guys you want us to meet?" You reply easily to those questions. It felt a little useless since you weren't the one talking about marriage.
Your relieved when you finally arrive home. Exhaustedly you head up the stairs to your room. After unpacking you lie down in your bed and fall asleep easily.
Laughter wakes you up from your nap, you sigh but head down the stairs. However as you walk down you don't just hear just your mom and dad, no there’s two additional voices.
You walk out into the kitchen and see two people sitting with your parents, Adam, your brother and... Leon Kennedy. The most annoying guy you've had to deal with in your entire life. You could have sworn that your brother and Leon had come out of the womb tied to the hip.
"Well good morning sunshine," you're brought out of your thoughts as your dad addresses you.
"Yeah..." you give a light laugh, and a forced smile.
"Couldn't even wait for me to get home to disappear again?" Adam jokes looking to you.
"Not my fault your slow as hell." You reply annoyed, you sit next to your dad.
"Missed you too sis." Adam replies laughing lightly.
"Also last I checked your girlfriend isn't Leon." You add on, crossing your arms. To which the blonde man laughed a bit.
"Jealous your brother is dating me?" He asks with a smirk as your brother laughs.
"See mom, I've been telling you for years." You gesture to the pair.
"Oh enough from you, besides we love having Leon around." Your mother tries to argue.
"We? Who's we?" You ask, looking between your family members.
"You sure are pissy today." Adam comments to which your dad gives him a look, a warning. He groans and rolls his eyes as you lean into your dad, a smug smile on your lips.
Adam goes through the plan yet again, you and Leon have to distract June his girlfriend for the day. As much as you wanted to complain, you did want this to go well for your brother.
You liked your brother's girlfriend just fine, but you didn't know her particularly well either. However, you would try.
You waited outside by the shopping outlets, when you notice Leon walking up after looking up from your phone.
"Hey," he greets you.
"Hi," you reply awkwardly and a little tense. You brush some of your hair behind your ear thinking, and look away from him.
"Jeez, you act like we're strangers." Leon tries to joke to lighten some of the tension. "So... how have you been?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'm... fine..." You reply hesitantly. "Just... getting through the day." You add on with a soft sigh.
"Yeah, I hear that." He chuckles a little bit. "You still dating that guy..?" He suddenly asks.
"No, and I'm not interested back off." You reply quickly, your voice snippy.
"I'm sorry? I was just asking?" He replies confused, and his tone showing some of his annoyance with your response.
"Yeah sure, the guy famous for getting into girls pants in high school." Your reply your eyes narrowed. He scoffs and opens his mouth to defend himself.
"There you guys are!" A bright female voice interrupts whatever Leon was about to say. June smiles brightly seeing you two, both of you just push past your argument and smile at her.
You take June around the outlets, letting her pull you guys into whatever store she fancies.
As you look around a clothing store you notice Leon in the men's section and sigh softly. You walk up to him, he looks to you and raises an eyebrow.
"I-I... I just wanted to say sorry for snapping at you." You say softly to him. He's quiet for a moment but nods.
"It's alright, don't worry about it." He gives you a soft smile, and you feel your cheeks get a little warmer. Was he always this attractive? "Besides it seems like relationships are a sensitive subject for you." He notes looking back through the men's shirts.
"Yeah... it's looking pretty bleak..." You sigh out thinking about it. "I mean Adam is talking about marriage and I..." You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"Hey... you'll find someone." He assures you gently, his blue eyes piercing into you. "Besides most guys will know your quite the catch." He winks at you, and your cheeks become warmer.
"You guys find anything?" June asks you, causing you to jump a bit. She quickly apologies and you laugh it off. Still, you were a little shocked by your reaction to Leon. He was attractive sure, but to you he was always just your brother's friend Leon. Now, it felt a little bit different. The blonde man looks down at his phone and then back up giving you a look from which you immediately catch on.
"I don't know about you June, but I'm really hungry." You suddenly bring up to her. Leon nodding in agreement behind you.
"Oh yeah, now that you mention it I kinda am." She replies after thinking for a moment. You and Leon manage to convince her to go to the restaurant your parents and Adam were waiting at.
Dinner was nice, and it was sweet to watch your brother propose to June afterwards. You smile watching them, but feel a little sad. Your very happy for your brother and June, but you wanted that too. It was getting harder to believe that was ever going to happen, maybe your standards were too high? Were you asking too much? You tried not to let your gloomy thoughts infect the cheerful atmosphere of your brother's proposal.
The next step apparently to your parents was to have a party celebrating such a momentous occasion. That weekend there was going to be a celebratory cook out, where family and friends would be invited. Again, somehow you ended up doing things with Leon.
"Okay... we need balloons, tablecloth, tablecloth weights and serving plates." Leon reads off the list as you both enter Party City.
"Did Adam and June mention a theme?" You ask looking at the list in his hand curiously.
"Um... I don't think so..." He says trying to think it through. "I mean... does it need a theme?" He asks you with a raise eyebrow.
"I was just checking." You defend yourself raising your arms. He nods and you head through the store together. As you walk through you stop and giggle to yourself. "Maybe we should get them a Barbie themed table cloth." You suggest laughing a bit.
"Hmm... I was thinking more... super heroes?" He suggests pointing to the other tablecloth nearby.
"Oh! You are so right that is so much better!" You say with a smile both of you laughing a bit. "My mom would kill us."
"It'd be worth it though." He replies confidently. At this point you'd just point out all the funny stuff in the store to each other, that's also how you ended up with a fuzzy tiara for June and a jester hat for Adam. When questioned why you had bought those items for a cook out, you defend both Leon and yourself by saying it was on theme.
The cook out comes, and you're stuck helping your mom and dad with food. Making pasta salad, grabbing plates for your dad to put hotdogs and hamburgers on. Friends and family greet you as you run around the backyard doing things. As your parents finally get a chance to relax, you can't seem to do the same. Someone always needing your attention or asking about how you've been. It was getting exhausting and a little overwhelming at this point.
"Hey, I need something real quick." A familiar voice suddenly says, before you know it your being pulled into the part of the backyard which was more tame. Only a few people around talking, you look to Leon a little surprised.
"You... why?" You ask, trying and failing to piece it together in your head.
"You looked overwhelmed, here. Your twenty-one now right?" He asks holding out a beer to you. You huff but grab it.
"Twenty-two." You reply a little annoyed.
"Oh no, one year off!" He jokes with a smile, and you roll you eyes. However, a smile finds a way on your lips as you take a sip from the can.
You end up sitting there talking to Leon in your secluded section of the backyard. Talking about anything that came to mind, sipping your drinks.
"Okay... so are you seeing anyone?" You suddenly ask him softly. The sun was starting to go down but the party was still alive somehow.
"No, I'm not." He replies simply.
"Wait, really?" You look to him a little in disbelief. He chuckles a little as he takes another sip.
"What? You act like that's weird."
"You? Who was like the most popular guy in high school." You bring up to him. "And slept with like every girl in your grade."
"You realize you were a freshmen then right? The rumor mill was insane then." He shakes his head thinking about it.
"So..?"
"So, I didn't sleep with anyone until I was in college and had my first girlfriend." Leon explains to you, causing you to sit back a little in shock.
"Huh..." You can only reply. Taking another sip from your can as you think on this information.
"You good?" He ask with a slight laugh. You just nod softly and sigh leaning back in your chair.
"It's crazy... how fast life goes after high school..." Your voice was in a hushed tone, it could almost be mistaken for a whisper.
"Yeah..." He replies softly looking to you as you stared at the sun setting. "Hey..." He gently places a hand your shoulder. You look to him, and feel your cheeks get warm. You don't notice as a slight pink comes to his own face. He looks away struggling to find his words as he swallows.
"Did..." His blue eyes shoot back to your face. "Did you mean what you said..?" You ask, your throat and mouth dry despite the drink in your hand. "That I'll find someone... and any guy would see me as a catch?" He just nods, saying nothing more. You move your seat closer to his, unsure of where to go from here. Still, your hand moves to his grabbing it gently. Once your hand is in his, he squeezes it. "Leon..?"
"Yes..?"
"Why did you ask if I was still dating someone?"
Silence was all that filled the air for a moment, when a sigh cuts through wind.
"As bad as it sounds... I was kinda hoping you'd say no." He says softly, you finally turn to look at him again and his blue eyes meet yours. Your cheeks were bright red as your heart skips a beat. You squeeze his hand again, your eyes looking around quickly as you lean a bit closer to him.
"I-It's okay... I was hoping the same..." You admit to him, and that was all Leon seemed to need. As he gently places a hand on your cheek and closes the space between you. Kissing you with soft and gentle lips, to which you kiss him back a smile forming on your lips. "M-my room..." You say breathlessly as your lips separate for a moment. He nods in return, maybe it was the alcohol giving you some confidence but you could feel your heart racing. You two manage to not catch anyone's attention as you head back inside and into your room.
You two in a frenzy quickly shut your door behind you as he pushes you onto the bed. You kiss him back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands on your hips as you two kiss, his lips eventually finding your neck.
"So beautiful..." He breaths out into your neck.
"L-Leon..." You manage to get his name out through your passion.
"Yes sweetheart?" He asks softly, his chest rising and falling quickly.
"I-I... I've never..." Your face is bright red as you look to him. His eyes widened a bit and puts two and two together.
"Oh... oh!" Leon replies as he realizes. "That's okay... we don't have to do anything... okay?"
"Okay..." You reply comforted as you embrace him again, and his strong arms wrap around you. Holding you close to him though the night, his hold gentle and soothing. He holds you like if he let you go his whole world would disappear.
When you wake up the next morning you see Leon staring at you, causing your cheeks to become bright red to which he chuckles fondly.
"So cute..." He says softly gently caressing your warm cheeks with his thumb. You smile despite your embarrassment and lean into his touch. He kisses your lips gently, both of you content in the morning sunlight peaking between your curtains.
"Hey! How come Leon's car- Holy shit!" You and Leon jump when you hear Adam's voice. You turn to see his wide eyes looking into your bedroom.
"This is why you knock!" You shout at him embarrassed, your cheeks bright red. Leon chuckles softly at how red your cheeks are, despite how warm his own face was. Adam stares at you both before he sighs pinching his nose.
"Your telling dad." Is all he says as he walks away shutting the door behind him in disbelief. You sigh out and cover your face in embarrassment. Leon chuckles gently moves your hands from your face.
"I don't regret it... how about you?" He asks you, his lips in a gentle smile. His blonde bangs falling a bit in his blue eyes.
"I don't..." You reply softly looking to him. Suddenly, your romantic life didn't look so bleak that sunny morning.
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nayziiz · 2 days
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Speed | CS55
Summary: In a chance encounter at a gas station, a mysterious woman on a Yamaha YZF R6 catches the attention of Carlos, a charming Ferrari driver. Little did they know the journey they would both go on.
Warning: Smut, fluff
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x OC (Lola)
Masterlist
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Chapter 5
Lola wheeled her bike out of the garage and into the driveway, and Carlos followed behind her, his eyes fixed on her with a mixture of admiration and excitement. He watched as she effortlessly manoeuvred the bike, her confidence evident in every motion.
As they reached the driveway, Lola came to a stop and turned to face Carlos, a serious expression on her face. She reached for a helmet from a nearby shelf and handed it to him, her tone firm as she began to speak.
“Firstly, safety is everything.” She started, her voice carrying a sense of authority born from years of experience. “You have to wear protective gear at all times, because you never know what could happen around the next corner.”
Lola's words hung in the air, a reminder of the risks that came with riding a motorcycle. Carlos nodded in understanding, his expression serious as he listened intently to her instructions.
“That includes a proper leather jacket, gloves, and a helmet.” She continued, her gaze unwavering as she met Carlos's eyes. "Usually leather pants, but the chinos will do for tonight."
Carlos nodded again, a sense of determination settling over him as he took in Lola's words. He understood the importance of safety, and he was grateful for Lola's guidance as they prepared for their ride.
“You'll be what the biker community calls a 'backpack.’” Lola continued, her tone matter-of-fact as she explained. “You're my backpack on the bike because of the position you sit and how you have to hang onto me.”
Carlos nodded, taking in her words as he absorbed the information. He understood the concept; he would be riding pillion, holding onto Lola as she piloted the motorcycle. It was a position of trust and intimacy, and he was eager to experience it firsthand.
As Lola took a step towards the bike, Carlos followed closely behind, his anticipation growing with each passing moment.
“The rider always gets on first.” Lola stated firmly as she swung her leg over the bike and settled into the rider's seat. “Then you climb on using the pegs at the back.”
Carlos listened to her instructions, his heart pounding with nervous excitement as he watched Lola demonstrate. He took note of the foot pegs she pointed out, his hands gripping the helmet he held tightly.
With hesitant steps, Carlos approached the bike, his movements cautious as he reached for the foot pegs at the back. He hesitantly and nervously climbed onto the bike, his muscles tense with anticipation as he settled into the seat behind Lola.
Instinctively, Carlos rested his hands on Lola's waist, his touch light yet reassuring. He could feel the warmth of her body beneath his fingertips, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of connection.
“When we get going, you rest your hands on the tank when I'm braking.” Lola instructed, her voice steady and confident as she took Carlos's hands and guided them to the gas tank between her legs. “And when I squeeze your thigh, that means I'm going to start speeding up. Then you just hold on tight.”
Carlos felt Lola's hands on top of his own, her touch gentle yet firm as she continued to explain. He listened intently, his nerves beginning to ease as he absorbed her instructions.
“When I lean into corners or turns, you lean with me, kind of mimicking my movements; otherwise, we will fall over. When I come to a stop, don't lean against me; try to keep yourself in place, otherwise, I'm going to get squashed against the tank, and our helmets will more than likely bang together.” Lola concluded, her voice steady and authoritative. “Any questions?”
“How fast are we going to go?” Carlos wondered, his voice betraying a hint of apprehension.
“I won't go faster than 100 kilometres per hour. I'll take it slow.” Lola assured him, her tone calm and reassuring.
Carlos nodded, a sense of relief washing over him as he listened to Lola's words. He trusted her judgement implicitly, knowing that she would prioritise their safety above all else.
“Okay, that sounds good.” He replied, his voice steady as he met Lola's gaze. “I trust you.”
With a smile, Lola returned his nod, her confidence unwavering as she prepared to lead them on their ride.
A few moments later, the bike rolled down the driveway and out onto the street, its engine purring with anticipation. Carlos took a deep breath, his heart pounding with excitement as they embarked on their journey together.
Lola led Carlos through winding roads bordered by towering trees, their branches reaching out to brush against the night sky. The air was cool against their skin as they sped along, the rumble of the engine beneath them filling the night with a sense of excitement.
As they rode, Lola guided them through a series of twists and turns, each one more exhilarating than the last. They leaned into corners together, their bodies moving in sync as they navigated the road with precision and skill.
With each passing moment, Carlos felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through him, his senses heightened by the thrill of the ride. The rush of the wind against his face, the roar of the engine in his ears—it was a feeling unlike any other, a sense of freedom and exhilaration that filled him with a sense of joy and excitement.
As they continued on their journey, Lola led them to a secluded lookout point high above the city. They parked the bike and dismounted, the cool night air wrapping around them like a blanket as they took in the breathtaking view below.
Carlos's heart was racing as he stood on the edge of the lookout, his breath coming in short bursts as he gazed out at the twinkling lights of the city below. It was a moment of pure exhilaration, a feeling of being alive and free in the vastness of the night.
Lola removed her helmet, shaking out her hair as Carlos followed suit, his movements slightly shaky with residual adrenaline. He couldn't help but feel a rush of exhilaration as he took in their surroundings, his wide eyes and flushed cheeks betraying the intensity of the experience.
Lola chuckled at his reaction, her laughter echoing in the night air as she watched him with amusement.
“Was that too fast?” She asked, a hint of concern in her voice. Carlos shook his head, a wide grin spreading across his face as he met her gaze.
“Not at all.” He assured her, his voice filled with genuine excitement. “That was... wow. I don't have words.”
Lola smiled at his response, a sense of pride evident in her eyes as she looked at him.
“You didn't do too bad.” she informed him, her tone teasing yet genuine. “For a first-timer, that was pretty impressive.”
Even though Carlos was accustomed to the adrenaline-fueled world of high speeds and technical driving in Formula 1, the experience of riding on the back of Lola's motorcycle was an entirely different thrill. There was a rawness to it, a sense of vulnerability that heightened his senses and quickened his pulse in a way that he had never experienced before.
Carlos felt an exhilaration unlike any he had felt on the racetrack. There was no protective barrier between him and the rush of the world around him, no safety net to catch him if things went wrong. It was just him, Lola, and the open road stretching out before them. Carlos understood why Lola enjoyed the ride so much. There was something undeniably addictive about the feeling of freedom that came with riding a motorcycle, the sense of liberation that came from leaving the cares of the world behind and embracing the thrill of the unknown.
If anyone had known what he had been up to, Carlos would have found himself in a heap of trouble. Racing on the back of Lola's motorcycle through the winding roads under the cover of darkness was a far cry from the controlled environment of the Formula 1 track. It was a risk he had taken, one fueled by a desire for adventure and a longing to break free from the constraints of his carefully curated public image.
As a professional athlete, Carlos was well aware of the scrutiny that followed his every move. His actions were constantly under the microscope, his reputation carefully managed by a team of publicists and agents. Any deviation from the expected behaviour could result in damaging headlines and consequences that extended far beyond the racetrack.
But in that moment, as he clung to Lola's waist and felt the rush of the wind against his face, Carlos couldn't bring himself to care about the potential repercussions. There was something liberating about throwing caution to the wind and embracing the unknown, something exhilarating about experiencing life in its purest form.
“Maybe on the way back, you can go just a tad faster.” Carlos implored, his voice filled with a hint of excitement as they stood together, gazing out at the twinkling lights of the cityscape below. Lola turned to him with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Are you sure you can handle it?” She teased, a hint of challenge in her voice. Carlos chuckled, the thrill of their earlier ride still coursing through his veins.
“I think I can manage.” He replied, his tone confident as he met her gaze.
-----------------------
Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @notyouraveragemochii @heyheyheyggg
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karenandhenwillson · 2 days
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I've seen so much discourse about Bucktommy and especially Tommy and it is so wild. I just want to write down some of my thoughts over all of it because that tends to help me to stop thinking about it.
"Oh, how can anyone just abandon Buddie for Bucktommy?"
Has anyone really abandoned Buddie, though? Or are they just for the moment very excited about a new and so very carefully portrait queer story line? Just because some people talk more (or for the moment only) about Bucktommy, doesn't mean they don't like Buddie anymore. They just have something shiny and most importantly canon to fawn over for the moment.
Also, I'd like to give that question back: Why aren't you all excited for a carefully and softly portrait new queer storyline about a character a huge part of the fandom—including the actor himself—hoped for years would get a queer story line?
And it's a pretty unique queer story. Of course, we had Michael figuring out his sexualtiy and growing comfortable in it right at the beginning of the series. But there are some huge differences between Michael's story and Buck's story.
For one, we ended up in the middle of that story. Michael had already done a huge part of the work of getting to know himself. He was ready to live as a gay man. And second, nothing of what we saw until season 3 was from Michael's point of view. It was all from Athena's point of view. 
So it was a "coming-out late in life" story line, sure. But it was a queer storyline from a straight perspective. And in some instances, from a very hurt perspective about it all (which are, of course, very valid emotions for Athena, May, and Harry, but it still gave the queer side of the story line a certain taint). And they did that beautifully, too, no doubt. I especially liked that the family didn't break over it, that they grew with that experience, and that Michael and Athena became great friends over the years.
But now we also have a "coming-out late in life" story line from the queer perspective! 9-1-1 is pretty much the only series I'm following right now, so I have no idea if we had something similar recently. But from all the talk I've seen, it's pretty damn unique, especially for a male bi character. So, of course a lot of people are super excited about it. Because it's honest and good representation that the writers and the actors are handling with a lot of care.
"Oh, if it were a female love interest, you'd all hate her again!"
First of all, go back read that paragraph about many people being excited about getting a queer story line again! I think that's about 40% of the answer for everyone wondering about it.
And then, of course, Tommy has now already more depth and character and background than we ever saw about Ali or Natalia. And despite some people claiming he didn't have any kind of redemption arc, he truly had a lot more of a redemption arc than Taylor ever got even if only glimpses of it were ever shown on screen. (Maybe I'll get into my thoughts about that in another post.) Not gonna talk about Abby, because I think most of the dislike for her came long after that relationship was over after she ghosted Buck (and after Eddie had shown up).
One huge difference between every love interest of Buck or Eddie we have seen in the past to Tommy is also, that Tommy gets along really well with Eddie. We've already seen a friendship develop there. That never happened with any of the women either Eddie or Buck dated before. We saw that one dinner Buck and Taylor had with Eddie and Chris, but it was very clear it was the first time, and that was over half a year into Buck and Taylor dating, probably more like nine months.
If you wear slash googles around Buck and Eddie or not, their deep friendship is undeniable. It's very much canon that they both have a hand in raising Chris. Any love interest coming in has to deal with that, and has to somehow fit into that friendship. Tommy is the very first love interest in canon we have ever been shown to have that potential at all.
I'm personally part of the fandom that thinks that Buck and Eddie have great potential in a romantic way, BUT that they are first and foremost soulmates, no matter if platonic or romantic. And at least the Bucktommy fics I've read so far have all acknowledge the friendship of buck and Eddie and Chris' role in Buck's life. With Tommy being very accepting and supportive of it. (Though, I admit I’m very careful in my selection process.)
"Oh, Bucktommy is only a steppingstone for Buddie anyway! Don't get so invested in it!"
Who are you tell anyone what they should get invested in? I also think, with the excitement right now, even if Bucktommy break up, the ship itself will live on in fandom.
And also, didn't any of you learn out of the cheating story line they settled Hen and Karen with?
There is barely any content for Henren*. And I've been looking! Most stories they are tagged in don't really focus on their relationship. And those who do focus on their relationship get barely any attention. And you know why that is? Because a lot of people can't or don't want to deal with the cheating. (I deal with it by trying to ignore it or seeking out content where it's fixed!) Do you all really want to have a second queer story line that centers around cheating?
And even if none of you care for Henren (which... I know many don't *shrugs sadly*), have you all already forgotten the real pain over Buck kissing Lucy and then not fessing up to Taylor about it right away? (Once again, I deal by either ignoring it or seeking out content that fixes that bullshit.)
I'm honestly pretty disgusted by all the speculation about 7x06 that has anything to do with Buck and Eddie cheating on Tommy and Marisol during the bachelor party. And even more so about all the fics one can find about that, or that use Tommy as a device for Buck and Eddie realizing they are in love. (Honestly, even filtering out the other relationship tag while looking for stories in one relationship tag doesn't prevent one from stumbling over those stories right now, no matter if one is currently looking for Buck/Tommy or Buck/Eddie stories. It's so fucking annoying. I've turned to only reading old Buddie fics for the moment.)
Aside from the whole cheating of it all, why do any of you think the next episode will focus on anyone else but Maddie and Chim?
"Bucktommy is so racist! But really, no surprise in this fandom!"
What's no surprise is that "racist" is once more used as a buzzword in this fandom. To the point that BiPOC fans of Bucktommy are being told they are racist for the ship they like. (Nothing new about that in this fandom either.) Honestly, half the arguments about why the ship is oh so racist either make my head hurt while I try to follow the many, many, many mental loops people are making to get there, or they just make me laugh outright.
Do some of you really believe it when you say "Buck got together with a White man instead of his Latino best friend, so of course that's racist!"??? I'm just... Are you okay? Do you maybe need something warm to drink, a snack, and a nice place somewhere in the sun far away from the internet to just enjoy nature for a little while?
As I said, I'll probably make another post about Tommy's redemption arc over the whole "He is an unrepentant racist and misogynist". That redemption arc exists and has been baked in since season 2 (even if some of people clearly lack the media literacy to see it). Though, other people already put together great meta posts about this. But maybe if there are enough of it, some people will for once acutally read and start to think instead of continuing to spew their hate.
*PS: If anyone has good Henren contant, especially fanfiction, feel free to drop me a DM. I'm always looking!
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thurio-edau · 1 day
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SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS
sorry for the delay!
alright, gotta say... this one's a bit shorter. but the next will come like a train wreck i promise😇
Part 3: Ben Clark
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oh the sweet old Ben... a kind and loving soul muted away. I'm thinking of inspecting his trauma and his general actions, and give him a diagnosis which I'm sure is canon even. I'm sure everyone who knows the disorder itself is aware that Ben is, in fact, suffering from PTSD.
let's start. first, what is PTSD?
PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental condition where someone feels what they have previously went through in a past traumatic experience. PTSD is frequently found with flashbacks to the moment, overwhelming feelings and sudden responses. there are two types of this disorder, PTSD and C-PTSD. but we'll look in the first one for now.
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Ben has always been a really kind character. ever since the beginning. more of a 'gentle giant' type of character, though we never see him talk. he's soft, he loves to help his friends and never does anything vulgar around them, including the phantom dimension. he feels nice when he gets praised even if he doesn't show it too.
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the first time we see him getting flashbacks and his anger issues being visible is when we first see Barron's behaviour towards Logan. anything that includes actual bullying gives him flashbacks and his response is his anger issues unleashing.
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in his backstory, Ben is shown that he's more of a shy type of person, but he loves singing. because his tall and intimidating appereance doesn't match his softness, a group of dumbasses try to 'fix' him which he rejects. back when Shane strangled him, is what he gets flashbacks to. it was something that changed his entire life, he had a passion for singing but he never did with his damaged voice. god knows how many times he was hospitalized when he was going around to fights because of his outburst of rage.
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yep, rage. I'd classify his anger issues as the 'rage' type with PTSD. PTSD rage makes more sense to me than just normal anger problems. I've seen and lived with many people with anger issues, but none of them are similar to rage. anger problems in general are usually verbal, if you don't make them mad to a point they're all bark and no bite. but of course after a point the violence behind the generic anger issues can unleash (see Tyler)
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okay, back to Ben and rage. rage is an extreme condition of anger, the person gets violent and their thoughts are clouded with the rage which makes them not think before doing anything drastic. but he's not very closed off about it either, actually. the time where he accepted Aiden to do the storytelling was before the first half of season one, the gang wasn't even that close.
this means that he saw them as actual friends so early on. probably before everyone. Ashlyn took her sweet time accepting the friendship, I'm kind of sure that Aiden didn't at first (see Tyler, yet again), Tyler also definitely didn't (as said by Taylor in season two premiere) and I think Logan has attachment/trust issues but that's for later. the only other possible person that might accept the group fastly is Taylor but with Tyler's influence so close to her, there is also a chance she didn't at first.
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Ben was fine with his friends knowing his past. he put his earphones on because he didn't want to hear about it, or else he knew he'd get flashbacks yet again. I'm thinking that it could be diagnosed too. Aiden knows that it's not just a memory, it's flashbacks to Ben and he covers for him whenever he sees something that might trigger Ben. after learning the situation, Taylor also does the same. they learn the severity of his problems and are all fine with helping him.
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another thing I'm sure of is that he's extremely attached to his friends. we know that everyone is close-knit, but Ben specifically. he might not speak but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy their time. he does, fully. which is I think why he/his room was... like that in the facility, without any spoilers.
to say, the gang is more than just friends to him; they're his found family, where he feels like he belongs. they don't judge him for his silence there. they understand his past. they're not scared of him just because of the way he was built and they're not going to be either.
but what about his family?
families are one of the most important part of a character and their backstory. the family is what decides how they will live, act and even feel sometimes. then what about Ben's? where were they during his backstory?
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yeah. Ben's rage causes something terrible to happen.
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but it ends better for everyone. Ben gets the therapy he needed, starts to live with Aiden, makes the gang his friends and it actually goes well.
his parents?
we meet Naomi and William during Lily's birthday.
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yes, Mike, Lily is goshdarn adorable.
first, I think Naomi and William aren't to blame. I think they did the best they could; they tried to help Ben, tried to help him get therapy, sent him to Aiden's place to help himself. then why didn't Ben's story stop?
Ben couldn't control his rage until their house got destroyed and he realized just how far it got. he sneaked out of the house, a lot of people seem to not see that detail. and they seem to be very caring, too.
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they're amazing as a whole family, to be honest. even the little Lily doesn't care about her birthday getting wrecked, because she wants to help Ben and his friends. she indirectly helped Tyler extremely well, since the sedative idea came from her in the first place.
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Naomi was the first person who brought up the whole 'we-are-seeing-phantoms' discussion and William didn't hesitate to talk about it. Naomi was also the first person to notice the phantoms when the worlds collided for a mere second.
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and Ben himself has shown completely zero negative behaviour towards them. and Lily gets treated like a princess -even if she accidentally neutered Ben-
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side note here, that Lily also really loves the family too. the way she cuddled Aiden when he died and came back was so cute to be honest.
so I don't think the family is anywhere to blame either. it was Ben who was strangled, Ben who fought, and Ben who saw therapy. the reason why I'm talking about this is because a lot of people suddenly blame a character's family when there's a problem with them.
guys. people with caring, loving families can be traumatized too. just because someone has a happy family doesn't mean they're suddenly over any trauma they live. doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay. it means that they have an accepting place to go to, a safe space. and Ben's family? I think they're just like that. they desperately try to help. help their son, their nephew and their friends. hell, Lily trying to help also speaks volumes in my opinion. their father -dilf no.2 after Mike right here- William was the one who offered the idea to get the kids saved from the centipede phantom. and to be honest? it was pretty smart.
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she also tried to prevent Emma from going mad because come on, Emma would absolutely wreck anyone if they dared blame Ashlyn for this. (still I think Jessica has to apologize for being to insensitive smh)
Naomi really seems like a sweetheart to me, I already said what to be said about William in a single very important side sentence and if there was any kind of in-family neglect Lily would also be affected. but she isn't so I think we're good? I adore the whole Ben family tho.
to wrap it all up.
Ben is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes him see flashbacks and turn into a rage mode each time he is triggered due to his backstory, being bullied because he's too soft. his rage causes a gang to destroy his home (HELLO?? ARE THERE NO FUNCTIONING COPS IN THIS STOR-- oh wait it's america yea there ain't nvm) and his parents try their best. move, get Ben to therapy and let Daniel's side help him by doing stuff he loves. Ben is still trying to recover, but his flashbacks are strong due to impacting his entire life from his voice and make it difficult.
(vocal chords repair by time actually, but he hasn't been speaking for like 4 years so maybe it'd need some voice exercises until it returns to normal?? if it's just vocal chords he'd be alright. imagine if he could talk and sing normally all this time but he just didn't know. it's something between "aww poor guy :((" and "lmao"
but I don't know about voice box, can someone enlighten me on vocal chord damage vs. voice box damage? thamks)
and Lily. Lily is a cinnamon roll. no other opinions allowed.
-i wanted to make a part for Ben and Taylor but i decided wasn't fit here :P-
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scoopsahoy · 7 hours
Text
birthday boy
ぺ  word count ⋰ 1.2k
✰  tw ⋰ none :)
❍  cw ⋰ swearing, sex + fingering
៚  a/n ⋰ yes i came back from the trenches to post a fic about steve for joe's birthday. and what about it
✐  masterlist
⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★
April 24th. The 115th day of the year had many celebrations including National Pigs in a Blanket Day, but the most important one to you was the birthday of your boyfriend, Steve. The two of you hadn't been together long, just about a year. But you knew him pretty well at this point.
You knew what he liked and what he disliked, and you knew how he liked to celebrate important events, like birthdays.
So you invited all of his friends, including Robin, Dustin, and the rest of The Party. You baked him a regular chocolate cake at his request. You rented Back to the Future, as he didn't really get to see it properly the first time. All in all, he had one of the most fun birthdays he'd had in a long time.
But his real gift didn't start until after the guests left.
You stared in the bathroom mirror at yourself, all dolled up in a new lingerie set that you bought specifically for tonight. It was a deep purple, black lace lining the edges of both the bra and underwear. The bra was just a normal bra, but the underwear tied on both sides like bikini bottoms for easy removal.
You hadn't had the opportunity for intimacy for a few weeks, as you'd been incredibly busy with work trying to save up extra money. But tonight it was just the two of you in his empty house.
When you walked to his room, he was sitting in his bed propped up against the headboard, rereading the card you got him with a small smile on his face. You leaned against the doorframe, trying to be as sexy as possible.
"Thank you for tonight," he said, looking up as he began his next sentence. "It was really-"
When he finally did look at you, his eyes grew so large you swore they were going to pop out of his head like a cartoon. You'd never worn lingerie before, as it wasn't really your thing.
But seeing the look on his face made you realize that this will probably become a recurring thing.
"What are you doing?" he asked, sitting up a bit.
"Oh, nothing. I just thought, since it's your birthday, I'd... do a little something extra."
You stepped into the room and closed the door, locking it behind you just in case. You slowly strutted over to the bed, his hand instinctively raising to meet your hip.
"You like?" you asked in an innocent voice.
"Hate it. Take it off," he joked. You couldn't hold in your chuckle as you swung your leg over his lap and positioned yourself on top of him.
Now both of his hands were on your waist, wrapping around you firmly.
"It's your birthday, you have to open the gift."
He looked at you with his brows raised. You weren't usually the perpetrator of dirty talk, so this came as a bit of a surprise to him. But he didn't hesitate to reach up and unhook your bra, freeing you from the constricting material.
His lips were on your chest and your bodies were connected before the garment even hit the floor, a satisfied sigh escaping your mouth as your hands found his shoulders.
As he reached down to your left hip to untie one of the sides of your underwear, you stopped him.
"Now you know you don't get to take those off until you've taken something off yourself."
You could have sworn that his shirt was off in less than a second. You knew he was eager to finally fuck you again, and so were you. Every fiber of your being wanted one thing — him inside of you.
His hands untied both sides of your underwear at once, throwing it to the floor on top of the rest of the discarded clothes.
Part of you wanted to make this as slow and sexy as possible, but a bigger part of you just wanted to get to it as fast as you could.
He wrapped one arm all the way around you and flipped you onto your back, his hips settling between your thighs.
"Steve," you breathed. "Take your pants off."
With zero hesitation he did what you commanded. Within less than twenty seconds, both of you were fully naked, aside from a condom.
His right hand reached down and his fingers began circling your clit, a low hum filling the room. It was the first time you'd had any stimulation there in forever, so you knew it wasn't going to take you long to cum.
"I missed you," he said into your neck. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."
"I know. I missed you, too."
Without another word, you felt him slip into you, and you both gasped. You pulled his lips to yours and kissed him deeply as he picked up a steady rhythm.
"You feel so good," he said into your mouth, being met with an 'mhm'.
You raised your legs a bit and pressed them into his sides, allowing him to go deeper than a moment ago. And, noticing this, he snaked his arms behind your knees and pushed your legs higher, almost to your shoulders.
This was new for you — being this bent. But it felt amazing. And you couldn't hold back the moans that immediately got significantly louder.
"Fuck, Steve."
"Is that okay?"
You nodded frantically. "So good."
With that verbal approval, he sped up again. His lips once again attached themselves to your neck, sucking on that oh-so-tender spot that he knew you loved.
As he fucked you, the sounds that came out of you only got louder and more guttural, as this position brought a whole host of new sensations. You were convinced that your g-spot was nonfunctional up until this point, but this angle made you realize how wrong you were.
Every single thrust brushed across it in the exact way that you needed to feel something from it, and you could have sworn you grew it overnight.
Your hands gripped his biceps tightly and your eyes widened as he made eye contact with you.
"Steve, I'm not gonna last much longer."
The couple of weeks of no intimacy really did make a difference, more so than either of you expected.
"Good, me either."
It was less than thirty seconds later that you were probably able to be heard from outside as you came, his fingers on your clit not helping you keep your volume down in the slightest.
Neither of you moved for a good ten seconds. Your legs were back down at their normal position. His face was buried where your neck and shoulder meet and you kissed the side of his head, rubbing your hands up and down his sides.
"Happy birthday," you whispered. He lifted his head and looked at you with a dorky tired smile and kissed you.
"Best birthday ever. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"So... I think you should take me with you next time you go lingerie shopping."
"Well, now, that would ruin the surprise of it, wouldn't it?"
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toomanythoughts2 · 3 days
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Victim or Cohort? Anja Wartooth and Toki Wartooth's Relationship Theories
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Hello again! My full thoughts and analysis will be under the cut away just like last time!
I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about these two characters and their relationship, and I thought it was about time that I put all of it down in one place. Anja Wartooth is an incredibly interesting character to me and it's a shame we don't see too much of her.
So, for the most part, this post will be about what the title says:
Was Anja Wartooth a victim just like Toki or was she a cohort to her husband's abuse toward Toki AND whichever she is, how has that affected her relationship with her son?
Evidence for Victimhood
Cults and Women
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"From an abandoned village near Lilliehammer, Norway, Anja and the Reverend Aslaug Wartooth." - Senator Stampingston "Dethfam"
Anja Wartooth is a very mysterious character in Metalocalypse when we are first introduced to her in "Dethfam". She is a very single sided character, "the wife" "the mother" and once we learn a little more "the abuser". Anja's role as we see her as the fans is just that and nothing else. However, when we start digging through the actual background we are being given by Brendon Smalls, a much more disturbing image is being created. In order for us the understand what is being presented, we need to understand what is happening and what does that mean for her.
There are very few things we know about her but the most important to remember right now is that Anja is married to a cult leader.
"Toki's father [Aslaug] was the local leader of a mysterious and cultish sect of Christianity, which likely involved vows of silence and extreme disciplinarianism." - Metalocalypse Wiki
Anja is married to a cult leader, we as the fans are fully aware of that. But what does that really mean?
It means that Anja has no control over herself or her child.
Dr. Alexandra Stein wrote a short essay on the effects of women in cults called, "Cults are terrifying. But they're even worse for women." She has multiple years of research in the field dealing with cults and what they do to women, specifically their reproductive freedom. In her essay, she highlights how motherhood is taken over by a cult leader in order to force the woman to focus their attention on them, and not the child. This could mean forcing abortions on women or forbidding birth control so that child are convinced whenever. She also includes that when parental attention is given to the child, the cult community rules dictate how that attention happens. Women in cults are also exposed to sexual abuse and their children are exposed to child abuse, often times overlapping each other depending on what type of cult they are in. Child sexual abuse is not uncommon in cults, such as in the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, where Warren Jeffs, their leader, is in prison for sexual abuse toward girls.
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"In short, women’s right to control their bodies, their child-bearing, their sexuality and their mothering are all taken away in cults as the leader grabs control of these most intimate parts of their lives. Women don’t choose this: They are groomed, brought in slowly and gradually separated from their previous lives and close relationships. Once isolated within the cult, and suffocated within its closed world, it becomes almost impossible for followers to maintain their independence. At a certain point, it becomes easier to simply give in, stop thinking and accept the new norms." - Dr. Alexandra Stein, "Cults are terrifying. But they're even worse for women."
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When reviewing the article, this specific scene from "Dethdad" came to mind. It's during Toki's flashbacks of all of the abuse he had gone through, and this is one of those things he remembers. Not only is this traumatizing to Toki, but, with the knowledge we know now, it's probably traumatizing to Anja. The last bit that Dr. Stein says, "It becomes easier to simply give in." really resonates with me with how Anja is simply "giving in" to her husband's desires. Take a close look at her. Does she look like she's enjoying it? NO!
Now that we know that cult leaders have a reputation of separating mother and child to keep the woman's focus on the leader, lets look at the Wartooths. Aslaug separating the interactions between Toki and Anja to keep Anja in line would be on par for a cult leader. They live in an abandoned village outside of Lilliehammer, so they are cut off from the rest of the world, keeping her and Toki severely isolated. Anja really only has her husband, the cult leader, and the few members of their cult that we see in "Dethdad". (The wiki hints that these people are also Toki's family, which further pushes Anja into isolation if those people in the cult are Aslaug's family, NOT Anja's!) Another small hint at reproductive abuse is the age of Anja and Aslaug. We don't know canonically their ages, but they are drawn in a fashion where they are much older parents, probably way older than they should be to be bringing in a child. Which raises the question, does Anja have access to birth control? My guess, probably not.
Another moment of mothering abuse would be the one time we see Anja hit Toki in "Dethkids." It was under the supervision of Aslaug. This cosines with the idea that mothering in a cult is only allowed to the extent of what the leader wants. Aslaug is a disciplinarian, which would make sense why he would oversee how the mother interacts with the child, and does as he wants, not what the mother wants.
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This is a side note, in "Dethkids", this scene lasts for 18 seconds. 17 of those seconds were just Anja staring at Toki before slapping him.
What all of this information means to me is that Aslaug purposefully withheld Anja from forming a mother/son relationship with Toki, furthering his abuse on Anja and Toki. Based on Dr. Stein's essay, Aslaug most likely abused Anja as well, as it fits in their cult leader/wife dynamic. I feel like this is good evidence toward Anja being a victim of a cult and having to conform to his ideals in order to survive.
Aslaug's Abuse Toward Toki
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Aslaug is a cult leader, a malicious man who has beaten and abused Toki. From the wiki, Aslaug is characterized to, "[petrify] [Toki] by any proximity to Aslaug, physical or mental." whereas Anja (granted her wiki is severely lacking) has no mention of bringing such a state to Toki.
Here is a list of all the ways Toki has been abused on screen:
Forced into the Punishment Hole (Underground pit) in inadequate clothing and in subfreezing weather.
Switched across back, legs, and arms till bleeding, leaving with open wounds and no medical care.
Chained to wall.
Pushing the "Wheel of Pain" mill.
Carrying boxes of rocks uphill in inadequate clothing.
Carrying logs and stacking them in inadequate clothing.
Face slapping.
Sweeping snow in inadequate clothing.
Walking in parents having sex (I personally see this as sexual abuse and control.)
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A type of abuse we don't see on screen but is in the concept art of "Dethzazz", Aslaug hitting Toki's bare back with a horse whip when he breaks the wooden spoke.
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In the special features episode, "Family," Toki states that he was spanked as a child. "I often thinks of the days in Norway when family. Pants down. Spank." - Toki
(I understand that spanking is a controversial topic when discussing child abuse, but I'm going to go on a limb here and say that Toki was not spanked in a "normal" fashion, and was probably beaten horribly.)
Now, I would like to remind everyone that the only time we see Anja being an active abuser is in "Dethkids" when she slaps Toki across the face. That is the ONLY time Anja does something like that. This, however, does not disqualify the indirect abuse she put Toki through by being a bystander and letting the abuse continue at the hands of Aslaug. Nor does this disqualify her from possibly having other direct roles in Toki's abuse, but, with the evidence that is shown, Aslaug is seen much more than Anja in Toki's abuse. However, Anja can be both guilty of indirect abuse and be a victim at the same time.
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For example, in "Doomstar Requiem", when Toki sings "I Believe", there is a flashback when he says, "My familys, they didn't cares about mes" This is what is shown. Toki is obviously holding an acoustic guitar by the shape of the body that is shown and the wooden neck. He is showing it to his family and Aslaug is the one telling Toki that he has to leave, not Anja, though, she looks more disgusted with it than Aslaug. Here is more proof that Aslaug is the one making these decisions about and for Toki, not Anja, but Anja could have stepped in and stopped it.
With that being said, I would not be a far reach to state that Aslaug was the main abuser.
Lingering Effects
From what we know about Adult Toki and his abuse, is that Toki is severely traumatized. From their first meeting, Aslaug (and Anja by omission, but only because the wiki states that Aslaug causes Toki stress, not Anja) sent Toki into a catatonic state for three days in "Dethfam". He did not speak in those three days, a distinctive characteristic of Aslaug's cult. It is also a predecessor to "Dethzazz" where we learn that his catatonic state takes the form of the Punishment Hole, something we have only seen Aslaug send Toki to, not Anja.
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Aslaug has also created a phobia in Toki of Bicentennial Quarters because they look like the entrance to the Punishment Hole. Toki is so scared of them that he has to be drugged in order to calm down from this phobia. This relays to the audience that Toki is so scared and traumatized by his time in the Punishment Hole that his body physically can not function around a quarter because it looks vaguely like it.
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It's worth noting that in "Dethzazz" when Toki is stuck in his Punishment Hole, a spider hybrid with his father's head comes to attack Toki in his mind. He only comes around when Little Toki is by himself in his hole with his clown doll nowhere to be found, in his most vulnerable state. In his dissociative mind, the creatures that came to attack Toki were snakes and a Spider/Dad hybrid! Not Anja, Aslaug! This is important because it points out that Aslaug is Toki's main stressor.
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One of Toki's most important arcs (in my opinion) is Toki age regressing slowly throughout the show until we get to "Army of the Doomstar", where it is confirmed by Pickles in the church. The reason Toki started regressing in the first place can be originated at "Dethfam" where Toki is forced to see his parents again. We see Toki voluntarily use age regression to cope and calm himself down, like the usage of his Deaddy Bear, coloring, playing with his toys (model planes), and his love for plushies. Those are only the few things I can remember off the top of my head. From there, throughout the seasons, Toki begins to regress more and more, until we get to "Doomstar Requiem", where once he is rescued, it really kicks it into overdrive. Simply, Toki's abuse (and captivity, which resembles a LOT of his own childhood abuse) has traumatized him so badly, that he has to age regress to cope, which went from voluntarily to involuntarily.
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Everyone who loves Toki, knows that scene in "Snakes n' Barrels II" where Toki beats the shit out of that guy at the sober concert. However, it is important to remember that the episode right before that is "Dethdad". The Tribunal said in "Dethdad", "Toki has suppressed his feelings for his father. His death may ignite long-dormant emotions. He will spin out of control into a vortex of madness. He will bring death to us all."
I have a theory that, with the stress of his father dying, blaming himself for his death, and being in a crowded concert while being sober, was the reason he really went apeshit on that guy. The tribunal was giving us foreshadowing into the next episode (or two, if you watched it on TV and had to see it split up). With that being said, what the Tribunal predicted would happen, did happen, at least to one person. His repressed rage after his father's death while being overstimulated and sober caused a chain reaction in Toki.
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I do not believe Toki to be a overtly violent man, despite his affliction toward sadism and power trips at times. "Dethkids" showed the audience that Toki's rage comes from his childhood abuse during "Toki's Song". The montage of his flashbacks show Aslaug and Anja abusing him, which hints that Toki does have some lingering anger toward his mother. This further proves the Tribunal's warning of Toki spinning out of control after his death.
Which brings us to our next effect, drinking. My theory is that, because Toki was sober when he beat up that guy (plus fully aware of his feelings about his father), he started drinking to combat any possibility of doing it again. I do believe that Toki does not feel good about what he did to that man once he regained his mind. So, in order to stop from thinking about his father and about beating that man close to death, he will do what he wasn't doing at the concert, which was drinking. Obviously, this leads the band to start to seriously worry about Toki and even have Nathan break the "No Caring" policy. Thankfully, Toki was able to kick that after the Season 2 Finale.
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While this next effect may be a little meta, it's still an important aspect that I would like to talk about. Toki's panic attacks we see in the show, specifically the one in "Bookklok", are a result of his abuse. Abused children have a significantly larger chance of developing anxiety and panic-like symptoms and disorders. Toki was abused severely, but especially when he needed to be "punished" for breaking the rules. From my point of view, this means that Toki's panic attacks occur when he messes up something and thinks he is going to be punished again, like in "Bookklok", when he steps on his guitar AUX and messes up his solo. Something else to note, in the Metaloclaypse Wiki, it states that, "What Toki suffered from was most likely hyperpneic syndrome, usually called hyperventilation. If one breaths too much too quickly, the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood decreases, and an attack occurs." Toki's panic attack being hyperventilation related could also relate to Norway's high altitude and a his failure of acclimatization (which takes 3 to 5 days), which would have made his attack that much more severe, leading him to collapse like he did.
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(This one might be a a stretch, but in "Dethrecord" when Toki accidently delete's Skwisgaar's guitar part, he does panic and plead with Skwisgaar to not kick him out of the band, even offering to suck his dick. I know it's meant to be a funny moment, but that was real fear out of Toki. This could align with a much younger Toki panicking and pleading with his father to not kick him out of the home and into the Punishment Hole, even descending into some desperate attempts to prevent it. I don't necessarily believe that Toki was ever sexually abused by his parents, but the likelihood of it happening is still very high, especially since Toki lives with the leader of the cult.)
Pickles Parallel
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Toki is not the only one with a problem with his father. Everyone except Nathan (though he might of fixed his father issues off camera) has father issues, but the one member that reflects him the most is Pickles. Pickles has a horrible relationship with his father. I'm going to be honest, I don't think they have a single scene together where they talk to each other other than the flashback. "Fatherklok" is the one I want to focus on because that is where we see Pickles and Toki coming together to talk about their fathers, and what they have to say about them.
In the beginning, Toki says to Charles, "So, my dads just died. and I'm totally cool with it." (He's lying.)
Pickles says, "Look, I got no relationship with my dad other than I hate him, you know? [Flashback] You know, I realized the other day that I don't even know his first name. And I'm proud. I'm proud to know that I don't know that." (He is also lying.)
Through out the beginning, we see Pickles (And Toki in the very beginning when he's talking to Nathan in the kitchen but mostly Pickles) trying to get Murderface to "father" him a little but is chased off my Murderface while he favors Skwisgaar. This enrages him and he is seen destroying his endangered animals room.
Pickles says, "Why does Murderface favor Skwisgaar over me? What's wrong with me?" Which Toki asks if Murderface is really doing it and asks how it's going while looking sad. Pickles says it's going great and asks, "What about us?" Toki says he's being totally excluded and Pickle says, "Just like my old man did to me," with Toki agreeing. They both agree this is going to screw them up with Pickle's destroying a Murderface cup.
So at this point, we are aware that Pickles and Toki have lingering emotions about their father, about being excluded, but also rage. This obviously concludes with Pickles beating up Murderface, with Toki joining in. So, this episode shows how Toki and Pickles relate to their rage about their fathers.
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But what about their mothers?
"Motherklok" is a completely different vibe, with Pickles trying his best to form a relationship with his cold and distant mother, Molly. The episode is about Pickles changing himself in order to please his mother so they can have a relationship, something Pickles is still clinging on to. It's most likely not the first time their this has happened. As it goes, Pickles finally ends up breaking away from that toxic relationship when nothing pleases her by telling her to "Go Fuck Yourself." To me, this says that both Molly and Calvert were actively neglectful and abusive parents to Pickles on their own, and not together. Whereas with Toki, it seems that the abuse came mostly from one source, his father, with his mother following his commands. While we do not see the Toki and Pickle's parallel in the episode itself, there is evidence throughout other episodes that, unlike Pickles, Toki was able to form a relationship with his mother.
Toki and Anja's Relationship
Pre-Dethdad Death
Speaking Terms
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I think the biggest cue that Toki has a relationship with his mother and it's on good terms is that they talk to each other. In the beginning of "Dethdad", we see Toki getting a call from his mother. We know it's from his mother because he says, "Mor?" which is Norwegian for "Mother." The full translation is from the Metalocalypse Wiki:
«Hellos? – Mor? Ja... kreft? Han er nesten død? Han hoster opp blod? Okay, ha det bra!» "
"Hellos? – Mother? Yes... cancer? He's almost dead? He coughs up blood? Okay, goodbye/see you!"
From this scene, we can tell that,
Anja has Toki's number
Toki wouldn't just give his number out to his parents after having no contact with them in over 10 years without some kind of compromise. I believe that Toki giving his number to his mother was that compromise.
Toki picks up the phone for his mother
In "Dethmas", it is concluded that the band can see the names of whoever is calling before answering. The scene of Nathan, Pickles, and Skwisgaar getting calls from their mothers, ignoring them, then getting calls from each others mothers, while continuingly ignoring them is telling to how Toki picks up his phone. There was no hesitation in Toki picking up his phone. I don't believe that Anja would have her own phone until after Aslaug's death, so Toki asking "Mor?" to clarify it's her is more aligned with Anja using someone else's phone. But even having getting that clarification, he does not end the phone call and continues it. She has probably called him before with this same method.
Anja is speaking
Anja is from a cult where they value mutism. Her choosing to call her son herself instead of getting someone else to do it is a spiritual sacrifice. She is putting her values aside to talk to him personally and give this terrible news about his father. She is controlling something about her and Toki's relationship, the act of communication. How many times do you think she has spoken to Toki while he grew up that wasn't under the eyes of Aslaug?
This is important in terms of their relationship because in "Dethfam", Toki has not spoken in 3 days and was catatonic. Going from that to having a full conversation with his mother on the phone is a huge step. Not only that, but the conversation starts and ends appropriately. There is a hello, there is a good bye. There is a small but meaningful conversation happening between them.
In the same episode, we do see Aslaug speak to Toki, but we don't know exactly what he said. We do know it was a demand. What was it? CARRY ME UP THIS MOUNTAIN AND PUT ME IN MY CHILDHOOD COTTAGE! And what did Toki do his entire life? CARRY HEAVY OBJECTS UP MOUNTIANS! His last and quite possibly only words to Toki was a demand to carry another heavy object up a mountain. The difference between these two conversation sets each parent apart as in how they view Toki.
Post-Dethdad Death
Secret Santa Presents
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The last time we see Anja is during "Dethmas". I'll go into detail about Anja herself but for now, lets focus on what interactions we do see. Toki and Anja don't physically interact, unless you consider Toki and Anja standing next to each other before boarding the Dethbus a physical interaction. What we do see however are the presents Toki buys for his secret Santa. One of those presents are for his mother!
Now mind you, there has been 6 episodes in between "Dethdad" and "Dethmas", including "Renovationklok" which states a nine month time jump. In the episode, Nathan speaks to the boys about not giving their mothers alcohol because of "last time". This alludes to their being at least one Christmas before this Christmas episode. So Toki and Anja have had one Christmas together already. (Toki does state after they view the Christmas DVD that "their [mothers] are going to ruin Christmas" but this more likely to alludes to the drinking and horniness than them actually being there, as they all share the same Christmas spirit as him.)
This means that Toki's relationship with his mother has developed so much that he is comfortable enough getting her a present. But also the quality of the gift will probably high. Toki states to the rest of the band when they won't agree to secret Santa that, "I aints listens to you no more! I'ms going shoppings! Yes! Shoppin's! To buy each and every ones of yous a gifts! and I wants to sees de looks on all your fat fucking faces whens I gives you greats presents! Ha Ha! Fucks you!"
Toki was out buying presents for his loved ones with the clear intention of them being good presents. He has gifts for all of the members of Dethklok, Charles, Dr. Rockso (that god damn back stabbing son of a bitch), and his mom! He does not get a gift for any of the other mothers or anyone else, just these people. This clearly shows that Toki values his mother enough to get her a good Christmas gift.
Dethbus Scene
This is a small scene, but I wanted to highlight how the other mothers speak to their sons (and the other members plus Knubbler) VS. Toki and Anja. The other mothers are comfortable enough to yell and hit their sons and the other members while trying to find a parking spot. Now, neither Toki or Anja speak during this scene, but it's also important to note that the other mothers have never spoken poorly to Toki or hit him before. Whether this is because the dynamic between Toki and his family is a lot more psychological (to showcase his own kind of parental abuse) or Anja (and Aslaug) have a clear boundary that only they can speak or hit Toki, is up for interpretation. But the point is that Anja has never said a bad word to Toki or hit him on screen other than that one flashback whereas the other mothers have! It sets them apart from the rest of the group.
(Granted! Toki may be so screwed up that being around his parents might make him act more appropriately, but the later half of the episode kind of disproves that with the drinking scene and Toki trying to fight Dr. Rockso in clear sight of his mother.)
Their relationship as mother and son has improved since the death of his father. It's not perfect, and it probably never will be. Anja herself has to go through a lot of personal growth before I think Toki and her will ever have a normal relationship. That's why her relationship with the other mothers is so important for her and Toki's relationship.
Anja Post Aslaug's Death
Dethmom's Girl Group
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Toki and Anja's relationship will not change until Anja herself changes. Anja is a victim of a cult, where her choices were taken from her. Now with her husband dead, she is able to finally branch out and do things for herself. It will take years for her to fully express who Anja is, but her relationship with the other Dethmoms are so important to this development. "Dethmas" shows us that Anja has taken refuge with the other mothers, something we do not see Pre-Dethdad.
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The Dethmoms, while not the best bunch, are probably the closet Anja has to friends. We do not see her with friends beforehand and the people at Aslaug's deathbed are (I am assuming) are Aslaug's family and their congregation. Anja is around four very different types of women, all of which have very different views, mannerisms, and styles. This is something she would have never been allowed near in a cult, especially one that values her modesty, mutism and devotion to Christ. (It's believed that her cult is Christian based, and her veil is closet to a Christian nun.)
These women are all very different from Anja and yet! They are genuinely happy to be around her and have her as their friend. "Dethmas" proves this!
We have Serverta, who's most obvious traits are her provocative style and manners, as to Anja's cloak and veil. Molly is from a heavy drinking family, something that Anja is never seen doing. Then there is Stella, who's way of speaking differs from Anja in both vocabulary and volume, while Anja is still silent around the group. Then there is Rose, the all American typical housewife, with a mostly normal life, something Anja does not have.
An important aspect of their relationship is that they include Anja in their adventures, even when she herself may not be 100% in. During the flashbacks to their first Christmas, we see Anja with the girls while they are fooling around getting drunk and messing with each other sexually. They don't push her past her limits and instead, let her do her own thing while with them.
They don't pressure her to play twister (She's not seen in the photo). They don't come on to her in the sauna and instead let her make a move on someone else (I find this incredibly important to the flashback of Anja with Aslaug in bed! This is Anja making a move on her own and exploring her choices and NOT having someone on top of her while she looks away. SHE'S TOUCHING THEM! SHES LOOKING! SHE'S FULLY DRESSED! This is obviously her choice! Sexual freedom! Lesbian maybe??) They don't make her drink or participate with the male strippers. This is something she is never seen doing, which also separates her from the group but never excludes her.
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A deleted scene where Dr. Rockso (why did they give him such a fat ass here?) is entertaining the moms during the same episode shows Anja in a skimpier dress and actually participating in the strip tease show. (Could this be where Toki gets his love for clowns? Maybe!) This, mixed in with the scraped "Sexy Dress" Anja, is probably set after Murderface gets funding for his Christmas Special and the moms need to be entertained in the montage. Point is, they always include her and never push her past her boundaries and let her make her own decisions. Which brings us to the mall!
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The group actively acknowledges Anja and speaks to her like a true friend. They see her as who she is but also someone who is worth change. The conversation before her makeover goes as such:
"You know something, Anja. Now that you're single maybe you should find your sexy side?" - Rose
"Ooh, let's do a fucking makeover and make Anja a little sexy kitty cat." - Stella
The group is shown helping Anja find something else to wear and picking out makeup behind Murderface's phone calls. Could you imagine being in a cult for years, wearing the same thing as everyone else, and then suddenly these people who care about you, and see you as a woman and a friend, want to help you change into yourself?
I also like the detail of Serverta trying to get Anja to wear the scrapped skimpy dress from before but Rose comes in with a scarf instead and then Serverta appraises it! Like, she held up what she believes Anja could pull off (Serverta wants the girls to be girling) while Rose recognizes it might be too much too early and chooses just a simple touch instead. Serveta is supportive about it as well! They aren't pushing her into someone she isn't, they're working toward giving her self confidence and finding out who she is! Girl groups are so important for this very reason. Anja probably never had a "And we were girls together" moment. This IS her moment! They just want the best for her, which is probably so different from her life before. She is experiencing for the first time what life can really be like without the cult or her husband.
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At the end of the episode, we know that the mothers get drunk and crash the Christmas Special. All but one is seen drinking, Anja. Despite their drunkenness, they still include Anja. Molly even sits next to her on stage. But not only that, ANJA IS SEEN WEARING HER SCARF AND MAKE UP FROM BEFORE! There have been multiple days since they went to the mall so that means she bought and kept the scarf and make up. SHE PUT IT ON HERSELF AND WANTED TO FEEL PRETTY! SHE WANTED TO JOIN IN ON THE ADVENTURE AND DO HER OWN THING! This is a step toward making her own choices and boosting her self-confidence! Anja is slowly but surely finding herself within the girl group!
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Obviously, this group of women are not the best women Anja could have chosen, but's the group she needs. They are loud, boisterous, sexual, crazy, and opinionated women. They are not afraid to do stupid shit like their sons and have fun. They also all have done something to their children, so none of them can judge the other too harshly. Anja is in a boat of similar women, those who have done bad things before but are still living, still growing, still caring about their sons either way. It would be hard for Anja to be in a group of women who have been perfect, kind, and had a happy life with no parental/child issues. Anja sees these women as the only ones who could ever truly understand her. Hopefully, with more time, Anja will become the woman she never dreamed she could be with the help and guidance of her friends.
Counterpoints
I do want to point out some counterpoints in this theory just to round it out.
Narcissism and Indifference
I know that there is also a good chance that Anja may just not care enough about Toki to feel either way about him. Her inaction could be just that, inaction. Anja could have had all the power in the world to stop Aslaug from abusing Toki and she chose not to, because she simply did not care enough about him. Anja could be narcissistic and only care about Toki in the sense of, "What does that have to do with me?" She'll accept the gifts, she'll make the phone calls, but it's all about what she wants or what her husband wants. She could have very well only called Toki because she needed something from him for her dying husband and nothing more. Toki is a very rich man and with Aslaug gone and unable to provide for her like he once did, she might be using Toki's kindness as a way to care for herself and herself alone. The other Dethmoms do show signs of narcissism, just like their sons. It would not be far to believe that Anja is the same way. When the cross falls on Toki during "Dethmas", Anja is sitting right in front of him, listening to him scream. She does nothing. She probably listened to Toki's screams as a child and did the same thing. Nothing.
Toki's Imagination
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Toki has a very vivid imagination and a desperation for love and connection. Toki also has a very hard time in picking good and long lasting friends, giving people more chances then they deserve with him.
We see this with Dr. Rockso. Dr. Rockso is a constant pain in Toki's ass, hurting him and using him for drugs, but Toki and him still hang out all of the time. Toki considers Dr. Rockso to be his best friend even. (Granted, Dr. Rockso did stop those addicts in Doomstar Requiem so Dethklok could save Toki but still.)
We see this with his own father in "Dethdad", where he chooses to forgive the man who abused and neglected him all of his life. What person would do that? Someone who wants a connection with their parents no matter what. That's why Toki is so upset when he drops his father and he drowns under the lake. Despite this man abusing him beyond comprehension, Toki still finds it in his heart to forgive while desperate enough to cry over him.
Everyone Toki has ever loved has died. His guitar teacher, the little girl, his cat. All of them have died after he has or went to make a meaningful and loving connection with them. His mother is the sole person left of his immediate family. Toki would be desperate to make amends with her and try to have a connection and Anja, with no one else to turn to, accepts. Toki could very well be blocking out or ignoring the abuse that she has done to him in favor of remembering his father's so that he can forgive her easier and have a relationship.
We see this desperate attempt to make his childhood seem better and normal in "Dethzazz" when Toki is talking to Dr. Twinkletits about his childhood. He says he loved it while showing active abuse on the screen. In "Fertilityklok", Toki desperately wants to start a family and get a wife/girlfriend after being sick and tired of just random women. In "Dethcamp", Toki's desperation for a connection is clear when he goes to camp to meet up people and make friends, even letting people pick on him for his diabetes to fit in. In "Diversityclub", Toki is feeling left out and makes his own club so that can be included and accepted. In "Breakup Klok", Toki does not venture out on his own, but instead stays with Murderface as an unpaid intern to stay close with someone he cares about and cares about him. In "Doublebookedklok", Toki is acting out because of Charles being so busy by hitting people but once Charles tells him "everyone thinks you're really cool" and "you don't need to hit people to get their attention", Toki runs to hug him and he cries. In "Doomstar Requiem", Toki even refers to Magnus while chained and abused as "My friend!" Who calls their abuser "My friend"?
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Toki blocking out the bad and accepting scraps of affection and connection is not out of the ordinary. He craves it and wants it more than anything in the world.
Conclusion
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I believe that Anja Wartooth is a victim a cult and was unable to raise her son the way she wanted to and instead had to do as her husband said. However, years of being in a cult changed her, and she lost who she was in favor of keeping with the cults demands and wishes and creating a new "normal" for her. Aslaug was the main abuser toward Toki and hardly allowed Anja and Toki to be together without his supervision. Toki and Anja have a developing relationship since "Dethfam" and it has been shown to be improving over the years, especially after the death of Aslaug. Anja is slowing find herself through her connections and friendships with the other Dethmoms.
Anja and Toki have a long way to go but I do see them having a much better relationship with Aslaug out of the way.
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I hoped you enjoyed this analysis. I love Toki and his mother is super interesting to me. If we ever get an epilogue, I hope we see Anja again. Hopefully away from the cult and much happier.
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