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bartsugsy · 6 years

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sorry but can't help but dislike some Robert lines referring to baby as changing everything like I thought Aaron did? and saying he didn't care until baby like which bs what about Aaron and Liv like smh, and saying holding baby was best feeling ever like what about meeting/marrying the love of your life referring the product of the biggest mistake as all things thought Aaron was to Robert hurts tbh might sound harsh but can't help it like I hate this sl

i actually think they’d benefit from having more parallels between the baby and aaron personally, bc…

OK I HAVE HALF-FORMED META ON THIS AND I’M HUNGOVER AND SLEEPY SO I CAN’T REALLY MAKE MY BRAIN WORK WELL ENOUGH TO EXPRESS IT TODAY BUT I’LL JUST DUMP MY THOUGHTS HERE ON U

yes, the baby is a product of rob’s biggest regret (WHICH, INSANITY THAT HIS BIGGEST REGRET ISN’T THE DAY HE ACCIDENTALLY KILLED HIS SISTER IN LAW BUT HERE WE ARE), but it’s also his son and he has developed this instant love and attachment to the little squidge

aaron is obviously the love of robert’s life

and between aaron and baby squidge, we see the two people now who essentially mean the most to robert in the world (according to robert)

that’s not a bad thing, love isn’t a finite source lmao

and it’s his son - aaron would fuckin be so disappointed in robert if robert didn’t love squidge enough. god, i feel like rob being a shitty dad would be the biggest thing that would actually drive aaron away, in all complete honesty. so, to aaron, although the baby is a representation of their problems, i don’t think aaron could support a rob who ran away or didn’t try to be a dad

but look, i’ve said this a million times over, but if the baby didn’t exist they still would have fallen apart at some point - ROB LITERALLY SAID IN THE SCRAPYARD SCENE ON FRIDAY THAT HE BLAMED THE WHITES FOR HIM LOSING AARON BUT THAT HE KNOWS NOW THAT HE HAS NO ONE TO BLAME BUT HIMSELF - THIS WAS SOMETHING ROB DID

AND ROB AND REBECCA HAVING SEX WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN AS HURTFUL TO AARON AS IT WAS, HAD ROB NOT SPENT MONTHS PLAYING REBECCA IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET MORE MONEY AND POWER

AARON AND ROB ALMOST BROKE UP IN JANUARY AND SHOULD HAVE DONE THEN AND THERE - YOU DON’T ALMOST BREAK UP THE DAY BEFORE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO ELOPE, GET MARRIED TWO MONTHS LATER OUT OF FEAR ABOUT PRISON AND THEN GO INTO YOUR MARRIAGE EXPECTING TO NOT HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES

THEY NEVER RESOLVED THE JANUARY FIGHT, NOT ONCE

THEY WOULD HAVE BROKEN UP EITHER WAY

THIS BABY IS A PRODUCT OF IT, BUT IT’S NOT THE CAUSE AND IT’S NOT WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE FOR THEM TO WORK

THE BABY COULD BE REVEALED TO NOT BE ROB’S TOMORROW AND MOVE OUT OF TOWN AND AARON COULD GET BACK WITH ROBERT AND THEY WOULD STILL HAVE PROBLEMS

BECAUSE THEIR PROBLEMS EXISTED LONG BEFORE THE BABY DID

and ok anyway, back to my point - rob loves this baby and more than that, knows that if he is in squidge’s life, he’ll have a direct influence over the way squidge turns out, as a human being. and rob truly believes that he destroys everything he touches.

so now here he is, trying to be in the baby’s life because aaron refused to let him run away

horrified that his own dad is right and that he’ll mess up the baby’s life too

but also determined to be a better person for the sake of lil squidge, because he needs to be, because he doesn’t want squishy to grow up to be as miserable and as messed up as he is, or to ever hold his own child and only feel ashamed

SO OK, THAT’S ROB’S CURRENT RELATIONSHIP WITH BABY SQUISHY COVERED

ROBERT LOVES AARON MORE THAN FUCKING LIFE ITSELF, WE KNOW IT, ROB KNOWS IT, AARON KNOWS IT - i don’t need to go over this, rob loves aaron

but rob as he is now is no good for aaron - rob can barely keep his own life together, rob still kissed rebecca bc he saw an easy way to make some money, rob lashes out and causes hurt to people he loves, rob makes awful, awful decisions at every turn

but the thing is, there was a time where, more often than not, rob was so so so good for aaron. during the abuse sl, rob was genuinely vital to aaron, one of the biggest and most important pillars of support aaron had. rob is the reason aaron found liv. rob stopped chas from fucking things up. rob took aaron to hospital, made him feel safe enough to talk, put aaron’s well being as his highest priority and never asked for anything in return and aaron, at that time, needed that.

and this, coincidentally, happened directly after robert was shot. robert’s shooting was ultimately the start of rob’s redemption - and if you look at rob’s actions between finding out aaron didn’t shoot him and the start of the abuse storyline, you see rob in a place where he, more than anything, wants to be back with aaron. but he’s plotting - he tries to buy the pub, he helps aaron with doug, he’s still sort of… he’s got the best of intentions, but he’s definitely still a lil scheme machine

but anyway, rob is (mostly, not always), hyper focused on aaron’s well-being during the abuse sl and then it’s all over and they get together properly and things are good and naturally, rob doesn’t have to be quite as I HAVEN’T SEEN AARON TODAY IS HE OK HOW IS HE DOES HE NEED SOMEONE TO SIT NEXT TO HIM QUIETLY BC I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE, yk? aaron is doing better and they have liv to deal with and that’s fine, they’re trying to find their footing as a couple and things return to normal, sort of

and they argue constantly

and there’s rarely a moment where rob’s not doing something that aaron is inevitably going to yell at him for

rob leaves larry to die, tries to murder chrissie with a tree, vows revenge on the whites for andy and then, once andy’s name is cleared, keeps going because he’s found an opportunity to line his pockets some more and rob loves money

my point, in describing all of this (which obvs u already know) is that here we have present day rob, with a new little human who he suddenly feels an incredible amount of love for, and rob is vowing to change, to be better and suddenly he’s allowing himself to be ashamed of his actions, knows he needs to stop tormenting the whites - hell, larry offers him shares and rob’s instant reaction is “oh fuck”. the rob of two weeks ago would have done the most evil smirk in the world and then tried to up the share percentage somehow tbh.

and u have rob, pledging to squidge, that he’s gonna be a better man - something that rob spent so long trying to do with aaron during the abuse sl

and i think making the comparison between who rob was then and who rob is now with sebastian is important because these are the two people rob loves most in the world - aaron and squidgy - and rob’s idea of love at this level is sort of insane

if rob loves you, he’d do anything for you

anything except actually, really, genuinely change the way he needs to, because he doesn’t understand how to yet

so rob pledging to aaron that he would be better was from the best place within rob, and he meant it and he tried and on some level he did succeed, but it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t permanent enough

and the words he’s saying to sebastian are the same - they’re not enough, he doesn’t know how to change when so often his instincts are still bound to chasing money and power and making horrible impulsive decisions

ALL THIS TO SAY

I THINK THERE’S SO MUCH VALUE IN COMPARING THE WAY ROB LOVES BOTH AARON AND SQUIDGY AND THAT LINE ABOUT HOW SQUISH CHANGED EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD BECAUSE

WELL, ROB SAID IT TO AARON RIGHT BEFORE HE ACCIDENTALLY PROPOSED

AND THEN ROB SLOWLY DESTROYED THEIR RELATIONSHIP

AND NOW YOU HAVE ROB SAYING IT TO SEB

KNOWING THAT IN TWO MONTHS, ROBERT IS GETTING HIS REDEMPTION STORY

NOT NOW

IN TWO MONTHS

SO IT’S JUST…

IT’S NOT THAT ROB LIED TO AARON ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, IT’S NOT THAT HE HASN’T MEANT EVERY ROMANTIC OR CRAZY EPIC LOVE-RELATED THING HE’S EVER SAID TO AARON, BECAUSE WE KNOW HE HAS AND WE KNOW THAT ROB LOVES AARON, THAT AARON IS THE LOVE OF ROB’S LIFE AND THAT HE DID, IN MANY WAYS, PROVIDE THE BEST IMPETUS FOR ROB TO CHANGE

BUT ROB HAS TIED HIS CHANGES TO AARON AND NOW TO SQUIDGE

AND THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS

BC WHEN HE LOST AARON, HE THREW THOSE CHANGES HE MADE AWAY TOO

AND NOW… IF HE LOOSES SQUISHY TOO? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM

IF ROB IS GONNA CHANGE, IT NEEDS TO BE FOR HIMSELF

IT NEEDS TO BE

ROB AND AARON ARE NEVER GONNA WORK OTHERWISE AND ROB IS NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO BE THE DAD HE WANTS TO BE, IF HE EVEN ENDS UP GETTING THAT CHANCE

so yeah… more aaron/baby squidgle parallels would be awesome tbh

last thing but (and i’ve said this before too) i love that the three people rob spoke to about his feelings were aaron, squishy and jack - the three absolutely most influential men(/boys) in his life. there’s a reason why rob’s relationship with jack is being so heavily drawn into this - just as there’s a reason why the birth of squishy brought aaron back into rob’s orbit. these are three people who rob has wanted to change for, for good reasons or bad.

idk, i just really like it as a storytelling piece. but that’s just me.

#meta #long post #here i go again....#but honestly i love this #ALL THE AARON SQUIDGEBASTIAN PARALLELS #rob x aaron #rob x seb #spoilers #answering anons

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