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cxlamarisalxmi · 10 months

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Being Miguel’s daughter and hosting Venom [2]

[Platonic One-Shot]

c/w: fighting, depictions of violence and gore, angst, female pronouns (she/her), feminine gendered terms used to describe reader, Venom is a big softie, only for you though 🤭

a/n: this is marked as part two because the first one shot was the first part, the drabble was more of an introduction to the idea 😭 I understand there might be some confusion about how these parts are set up but yeah the drabble was intended to introduce the idea more than it was meant to be an actual part of the series— like an extended epigraph… sort of

—

It was raining the day your father had decided to return to your dimension— the dark and gloomy rain clouds above thick and heavy as they devoured the sky.

With them they brought raindrops thick and heavy in density that were spat out in a torrential downpour. Falling in copious and rapid quantities.

You had been sitting perched on the corner of a building’s roof, observant and watchful as you patrolled the streets from your perch.

The darkness that had followed the overcast night sky left the street lamps and starkly bright city lights bright and prominent in their glow. And your sensitive and finely tuned auditory perception picked up on the sounds of tires driving through rainwater on the pavement. The sound of particularly nocturnal people walking, bustling and moving about— the way their shoe soles stepped on the soaked through concrete of the sidewalk, some splashing as they came across puddles in the divets of the ground.

Everything that involved your senses and being aware of the world around you sharpened dramatically, now keen on focusing on the world around you. Listening starkly for any kind of traumatic event occurring.

“I like the rain.”

“Me too.”

“The atmosphere is relaxing. We feel at peace.”

You couldn’t help but agree, the weather more than accommodating in the sense your mood had improved drastically.

It had been two weeks since your father had made his appearance, and since then you had been tightly wound and more than a little hurt at his abrupt intrusion. Even more hurt at the way he had just left without so much as an ounce of effort in trying to get you to talk to him.

He had called your name, and he did speak to you— that was something you could acknowledge, but the fact he hadn’t bothered trying beyond that spoke a lot about what your relationship had come to. What it still was.

He didn’t care about you, he never had and the encounter from a little less than half a month ago gave you the impression that he never would.

A small part of you could admit that you had hoped maybe he would come after you, chase you down, take you into his arms and hold you tenderly. Lovingly.

An even larger part overwhelmed that feeling with a cold and bitter indifference that made you more angry than sad. Sparked to life when he left you behind in a home you didn’t know, with people you didn’t trust— and festered to much more significant levels as the years continued to pass with not a single word from him.

You shouldn’t have expected him to make an effort to fix your relationship, and you hated that you were so bothered that he hadn’t tried at all. You should’ve known that he hadn’t ever intended to be involved with you at all. And you should’ve just accepted that your relationship was beyond fixing— and there was no point in trying to repair something that had died a long time ago. Irreparable— damaged and broken.

And whilst anger and hate had spread and taken over most of your heart and soul, there was still a small part inside that was more hurt than anything.

That small child inside that had depended on her father more than ever in the wake of her mother’s death. A little girl that had quickly learned he wasn’t dependable, she couldn’t count on him at all. And she was quick to learn that there wasn’t anyone who had her back, was on her side. It developed into her trusting absolutely no one— “the only one I can really trust.. is me.”

“[Y/Name]? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you murmured quiet and tame as you continued to watch over the city. The darkness and ache that had consumed your heart so very deeply at the remembrance of your father had dissipated when your friend had spoken to you. “I’m fine V.”

“Was it about him?”

You didn’t respond and they had expected that you wouldn’t, and didn’t say much after that. And you appreciated their understanding that you didn’t want to talk about them.

There was a moment of tranquility, peace in the loud bustle of your city as the rain continued to fall. But then your senses tingled as the familiar sound of a portal spinning open erupted behind you. There wasn’t a moment of stillness that you allowed before you were spitting webs at the wall behind the portal.

Miguel walked through the portal a moment later, it closed a second after and then you were launching yourself at him.

He may have not had the tingle at the expense he wasn’t even really changed like you had been. He hadn’t been bitten but had his genetic code changed, and his abilities came from a vial of liquid he injected directly into his bloodstream to keep his powers sharp and potent.

So, whilst he didn’t have the spider senses that tingled anytime danger was nearby, his natural instincts had been sharpened finely. Thus, he was able to bring up his arms as you drop kicked him into the wall you had slung your webs at.

Even though he was blocking his face protectively you had put enough strength behind the kick to hurt him, and he grunted as your kick connected sending him flying back.

[Y/Name] jumped to meet him against the brick wall and grabbed him by the throat, tightening her clawed fingers around his neck before she was pulling him from the wall and throwing him off the building to the street below.

The previous feeling of peace and content that had warmed her chest and blood had diminished, and was now replaced with thorough rage. Hot and ferocious.

[Y/Name] had sworn to Venom that she absolutely would resort to murder if her father ever returned to her universe, and here he was. So the alien didn’t falter nor make an effort to halt the anger that was slowly but surely filling his host’s body.

Another portal opened up behind her and she felt an itch of annoyance as she felt the familiar presence that made her senses tingle. Jessica Drew.

A snarl tugged at her features as she curled her lip and looked over her shoulder, a ferocious glare fierce and angry in her bright eyes.

“Venom.”

“Of course.”

Jessica stared as a thick, black matter pooled from her back and slid across her lean and muscular frame. The alien-like viscous oil gliding across every plane of her frame, concealing her entire white and blue suit in a tightened black version of it instead.

“[Y/Name],” Jessica began soft and quiet— an attempt to somehow quell the furious fire of rage she could feel hot and angry from where she stood several feet behind the young teenager. “I know what you must be feeling—”

“You don’t know shit.”

“You want to kill him. And I can’t let you do tha—”

Her sentence was cut short when she was suddenly thrown backwards, her senses had tingled but not nearly quick enough. And she had been sent backwards to the brick wall in consequence, she gaped at the O’hara stood in front of her on the edge of the roof.

She had turned to face Jessica with her back, and the blackened webbing surrounding her body seemed to pulse and tightened around her body. Every time she squirmed attempting to loosen them, cut them or escape they would just tighten. She resorted to calling out to [Y/Name] instead—

“Spider-Woman doesn’t kill people!”

[Y/Name] willed her mask to peel away, the small and thin tendrils crawling up her neck and hugging her forehead only made the harsh glare she threw at Jessica over her shoulder much darker. The snarl she gave baring abnormally sharp canines seemed to make her even more intimidating— it made Jessica uncomfortable how a simple look made a chill rake down her back.

“You’re right. But we do.”

And she shivered again at the alien voice that rumbled from the young adult’s chest. The words she spoke only succeeding in making her all the more uncomfortable and frightened. The tone she spoke in was deep and ferociously monstrous. And Jessica stared as the O’hara glared back for a single second before she jumped disappearing over the side of the roof.

[Y/Name] landed on the sidewalk paved along the side of the asphalt road, she jumped forward flipping out of the way as her father shot a web at the spot she occupied previously.

But he had jumped to meet her midair and they grappled as they fell back to the road, she managed to wrangle a hold on the back of his suit and brought forth Venom’s strength to throw him down the road before landing on it herself.

Miguel’s sharpened instincts flared aggressively as his young daughter launched a car at him. He spun around extending his arm forward simultaneously— the long and sharp blade on his forearm cutting the car cleanly in half. But she had been there to surprise him, lunging forward after she had thrown the car knowing he’d cut it in half opening up an ambush as she erupted in between each piece of the vehicle.

He gasped silently in shock at her appearance through the split and grunted when her punch connected to his face. Enough strength from her abilities coupled with Venom to send him flying back. And he flipped midair to land on his feet several feet down the street, he dug the blades on his forearms into the pavement to halt his movement as he looked up.

“I suffered! Alone! For twenty years, because of your cowardice!” [Y/Name] shouted as she stormed down the street, the mask Venom provided peeling back to reveal a ferocious snarl tugging her lips back and baring abnormally sharper canines.

“Protecting the security of the multiverse is not cowardly!”

“You knew invading another universe at the expense of your variant’s death was wrong! You knew your presence could collapse the very fabrics of a dimension! You always knew!” She roared in exclamation to his rather weak defense, having stopped just a few feet in front of him to properly put her feelings forward. Give him everything she had bottled up inside that had erupted suddenly since his abrupt appearance in her dimension two weeks ago.

Miguel just stood there, he swallowed thickly at her statement as he held eye contact with her. There wasn’t any indication he was intimidated by her on his face, his expression blank and guarded with slanted brows and narrowed eyes. But internally he was dreading the fight that would no doubt occur, she was anomoly after all.

“But— when she told you she was pregnant, when she told you she was excited to start your family.. what did you do? What did you do? You. Ran!”

“She was never meant to bear children! Never meant to give birth to you— that was not my fault!”

The audacity he had to ruin her life and not even acknowledge it only made [Y/Name] all the more furious, her blood boiling beneath her skin as she tightened her vicious snarl. “Not your fault?!”

[Y/Name] advanced forward, she reached to her left— her muscular forearm flexing beneath the deep black Venom suit as she gripped the side of another car and effortlessly lifted it throwing it at him.

He jumped to the side to dodge but she was there to meet him once again, having leapt from her spot on the street to put her knee in his face. He couldn’t bring his arms up quick enough to block it this time, and she forced him backwards when she utilized Venom’s alien strength to really hurt him.

Miguel grunted as her strike connected and he was thrown into the side of the building off to the side. She followed right behind him tearing her arm back and throwing it forward the second she was close enough. The hit had enough power and strength in it to send him right through the brick wall and into the empty warehouse within.

[Y/Name] landed several feet away from the form of her father on the ground, he was slow to get back to his feet but once he had he turned to face her. And she could tear his throat out at the scowl carved into his features, the conversation that followed only making her all the more infuriated.

“I’m not here for any other reason than to capture the anomaly in your dimension.” He says, a still blank and guarded look on his face. One that his young daughter matched only to a degree that looked more like she was enraged rather than unbothered.

“There’s no anomaly here, Venom and I would’ve picked up it’s unnatural scent immediately.” She reasoned.

“You wouldn’t know of it’s presence. Because it’s you.”

“What?”

“You are an anomaly, you were never meant to be born.. never meant to be bitten… never meant to host Venom. You don’t belong. You need to be contained.”

[Y/Name] froze, Venom inside stilling too as he and herself processed the words that had just fell from her father’s mouth. All was quiet for but a moment—

“You…”

Miguel watched as a dark look overtook her features, from enraged previously to downright hostile as her eyes darkened to an unseen degree. He felt a shiver of fear and intimidation shuck down his back in a brief burst.

“You bastard.”

The snarled words growled from her throat sent another ripple down his spine. And he swallowed thickly as the deep black viscous matter of Venom returned, and then she bore the same appearance as before.

The same lean and muscular frame but now entirely black with a white spider insignia, her mask’s eyes now more monstrous-like as opposed to the regular diamond shape as most spider people.

“Fine.”

[Y/Name] Venom snarled ferociously, Miguel watched as the alien bulked up his daughter. Not so much so that it wasn’t proportionate but enough to have him breathe out a brief exhale of uncertainty and anxiety.

His daughter had become powerful in his absence, and he had caused the black hatred to plague her heart. The fact she only looked at him with hate and a fiery light of murder and bloodthirsty rage was his fault and his fault alone. He had no one to blame but himself.

So, he really had no one to blame for this fight that would occur one way or another. He wasn’t sure he could beat her, and for the first time in a long while he felt a surge of anxiousness brew to life in his stomach. His heartbeat slightly erratic at the new feeling of diminished confidence in his chest.

He knew this would be hard, he knew he was walking into this fight with a significant power difference, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t certain he’d keep his head. And Miguel had no one to blame for it—

But himself.

—

a/n: started writing out requests so expect to see those soon but don’t get too excited as I can’t promise when exactly they’ll be finished and posted, my classes are kicking my ass and my job fucking sucks so.. bear with me please and I hope you enjoyed!

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Taglist: @violilaqrs @christinesdemoness1958 @erensbbg @nickey-diano @gamersansblog @ayyybee @raweggeater @shrekstoesblog @azzy-ozborn @nda-approval @9kaaulitz @jazjelspen @myconglomerateromance @sweetheartlizzie07 @nyx-does-stuff @krazy-kattzz @sparklyphantom @loser-alert @bath1lda

Sorry if I missed you on the taglist!

#miguel o’hara #platonic reader #across the spider verse #spiderverse #miguel o’hara x platonic! reader #miguel o’hara x reader #jessica drew #miguel o’hara x daughter!reader #x daughter!reader

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mayasaura · 8 months

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sorry if this has been answered before or if there's a post about this, but I've been seeing a lot of posts labeling harrow as schizophrenic and/or having trouble recognizing reality, including the one you just made about crux as harrow's caretaker and reality-indicator.

I realize that these interpretations come from htn, but I'm curious as why people feel that it's always been a trait of harrow's instead of a side effect of the lobotomy?

I was under the impression that she created the reality problems as an excuse to cover the blocks in her memory, especially since we know that wake/the sleeper didn't possess her until after gtn and most of her confusion happens in the river bubble.

even the "hallucinations" of the body don't really impact her perception of reality, and it's actually alecto's soul not a real hallucination. the only questionable moment I can remember is when she sees cytheria under the bed and ianthe says there's nothing there, but we know ianthe is a duplicitous legend so I read it as ianthe lying to harrow lol

long story short, I was wondering if there was scenes in gtn, ntn, or post-realization htn that indicate harrow has had these reality problems pre-lobotomy? or if you know of a post analyzing it further? sorry to throw this at you, I just haven't seen any analysis of it but I saw your post so I was hoping you would have more info :) I really adore all of your tlt analysis posts!

Hi! Yeah, if you go into my '#harrow's schizophrenia' tag, I've made several posts about it, and other people have added on to a few of them with further elaboration.

But I don't think I've ever laid it out fully like a thesis. And I have several stressful things I should be doing right now, so I can't think of a better time to get into it.

When Harrow's brain is editing Gideon out, there's an effect a little like a record skip. Her memory snags on something, very briefly, and then quickly moves on. Or she'll make an assumption or say something that doesn't actually make sense without Gideon in the picture, but she won't notice. The most prominent example is the details in chapter 3 surrounding her opening of the Tomb:

Just ellipsis "found out" ellipsis to skim over the very large part Gideon had to play in those events. If she were to interrogate the memory, it would be strange that she doesn't remember how her parents found out, but doing so would make her brain bleed. She would black out, and most likely forget what she was trying to remember.

And an example from the same chapter of a statement that doesn't make sense, unless you know about Gideon:

Two things are important about these examples, the first being that they don't upset Harrow. She doesn't think they're strange, because she barely thinks about them, which was sort of the point of the lobotomy in the first place. The second is that they can be immediately explained by plugging Gideon into the Gideon-shaped hole in Harrow's memory. If you know about Gideon, and what Harrow's done, there's no mystery remaining.

In contrast, there are other details in chapter 3 about Harrow's childhood that Harrow did, and does, find strange and upsetting.

Gideon didn't attend services, and she most definitely didn't participate in chants. Putting Gideon back in the picture does nothing to explain the "weird, thuddering beat" Harrow finds disruptive. But it does sound an awful lot like an auditory hallucination, as does hearing doors open and close where no doors were opening and closing.

Maybe we could try to explain the doors by supposing she was hearing Gideon coming and going without remembering the source, but that doesn't really track with how we know her mind processes the missing pieces. If Harrow were papering Gideon over in her memory, it wouldn't be important who was or wasn't opening doors and where. The focus of her memory would quickly shift, just like it did when trying to remember how her parents found out about the Tomb, in order to avoid looking at what she's hidden from herself.

Then there's the next paragraph:

Again, plugging Gideon into this memory does nothing to explain it. Even if Gideon had been in the habit of sneaking up behind Harrow and attempting to choke her out—which, yikes—Harrow has already seamlessly blocked out the memory of one attempted strangulation. Then there are the phantom ropes she sees, her parents' method of suicide haunting her.

The forgetting where she was, losing time, and false memories do seem at first glance like they could be explained by the lobotomy, seeing as that is sort of the whole purpose and effect. But I'm pretty sure even these are real memories. Again, because of the focus of her attention. She's remembering having forgotten, while the lobotomy make her forget to remember.

Then there's Harrow's overall behavior. Her reactions to her hallucinations, especially in the River bubble, which imply that not all of this is new to her. She isn't shocked, or caught off-guard. She has coping mechanisms. She's figured out what evidence she can probably rely on to rule out hallucinations, and what's more likely to be suspect. A lobotomy, even a necromantic lobotomy, doesn't come with built-in tools for coping with its effects. Her memory of her past without Gideon in it is fractured and incomplete, not an entirely new life story with new life lessons.

Finally, from Nona the Ninth, some evidence that Harrow's problems with reality definitely predate the lobotomy:

Crux remembers them.

#the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow's schizophrenia #tlt meta #ntn spoilers #harrow the ninth #htn spoilers #long post #such a very long post sorry #op

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schizodiaries · 5 months

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a guide to hearing voices

(Note: this information was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing. The information provided in this post comes from the UK based mental health charity known as Mind, and is paraphrased by me.)

What are voices?

A hallucination is a perception you may have that is not shared by those around you. Hearing voices is a type of auditory hallucination where you hear voices when no one is present, or that other people cannot hear. Some examples of voices you may hear include:

Hearing your name called when no one is around.

Hearing things as you fall asleep.

Feel as though you can hear other people’s thoughts.

Threatening voices that tell you to do dangerous things.

Friendly voices that encourage or support you.

Multiple voices arguing or talking with one another.

There are many reasons why you might hear voices. Some reasons include lack of sleep, hunger, physical illness, being under the influence of drugs, grief, abuse/bullying, physical illness, trauma, spiritual experiences, or mental health problems such as psychosis.

How can I help myself cope?

Understanding your voices and how they relate to your past may help you feel more in control, recognize when voices cause problems, stand up to your voice, or develop a better relationship with your voices so they don’t interfere with your life.

Some questions to help you think about how your voices relate to you are:

What was happening when I first heard voices?

Where was I and how was I feeling?

What did the voice say?

What did they sound like?

Do they represent a person or a problem?

Are there any patterns to the voices?

What do the voices want me to do?

What do I want to do?

It may be helpful to keep a diary and record when you hear voices or what they say. This can help you identify patterns and understand how they affect you over a period of time.

Here are some suggestions to help you feel more in control of your voices:

Ignore them, block them out, or distract yourself.

Give them times when you agree to talk to them and times when you won’t.

Tell them to wait.

Stand up to them, ignore their commands and threats. They have no power over you.

Try to ignore the voices you don’t like, and focus on the ones you find easier to listen to.

Use grounding techniques, like taking note of the things you see, hear, smell, etc.

The recovery approach

This helps reframe the way we see recovery. The main principles of the recovery approach are:

Live the best life you can have the you can with your experiences and the consequences they’ve had.

Focusing on what you can do, not what you can’t.

Making your own choices and being your own person.

Seeing recovery as a journey, not a destination.

Seeing setbacks as ways of learning more about yourself.

Maintaining hope.

How other people can help

If someone you care about hears voices, you might find it hard to understand what they are experiencing. But there are many things you can do to help support them.

Accept that their experiences of voices are real, even if you don’t understand it.

Try not to make judgements about what hearing voices means for them.

Learn their triggers.

Remember that they are still the same person you’ve always known. Hearing voices doesn’t change who they are.

Ask them what would help, and avoid making assumptions.

Reassure them that they are not alone. There are lots of reasons why people hear voices.

Encourage them to talk about their experience. To you, to a doctor, or to a support group.

Learn more about the experience of hearing voices and fight the stigma.

Help them seek treatment and support, if they want it.

#mental wellness #psychosis #schizoaffective #hallucinations #hearing voices #coping skills #coping mechanisms #schizophrenia

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theneighborhoodwatch · 22 days

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submission from cloverchameleon

Wild thought, what if Eddie is just in a wrong place wrong time situation? Eddie is in some of the Homewarming materials, namely his tie-in products in the gift catalog. But every auditory segment is distorted and damaged when it gets to his mention at the ends of them. When media is stored improperly and gets damaged, it’s not uncommon for the beginning and end to see the worst of it since they sit at the edges. I wonder if it’s not that something Else is trying to single Eddie out, it’s just that their world is defined and proceeds based on our perception of it (such as it being Homewarming in March because we’re seeing Homewarming stuff), and if he’s been damaged out of our perception, his presence in the world for those events is also damaged out. Hence why his perception when trying to interact with them is broken and eerie - because if the audience doesn’t know he’s there he shouldn’t be there. At which point I wonder if Sally giving that unsubstantiated story about everyone trying to give him a day off and bringing him to the party is her doing what an actor should do when the show goes off script and misses a cue: try to improv it back on track. So maybe as more stuff is found and other neighbors’ roles have been corrupted beyond recovery by the damaged materials, trying to proceed as intended will be what gets all of them to see beyond into The Horrors.

(context - i think.)

ohhhh man. oh man. i wish i had more to say than “this is really good speculation and i think everyone should read it right now” but. well. this is really good speculation and i think everyone should read it right now. i Think we’ll probably only be able if this is actually the case once a Third (fourth???) character has peered beyond the veil, but i’m gonna be chewing on this for a long time. i think it articulates what i was trying to get at with the first addition here really well. fuck.

#submission #cloverchameleon #welcome home #wh speculation #eddie dear #sally starlet

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eeeeuuughggg · 6 months

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ticci toby hcs

toby definitely has holes or rips in a lot of his clothing. majority of his socks would have holes and half of his sweaters + pants/jeans have rips. he also wears grandpa sweaters, you cannot argue with me on this.

to add on to this, he also has a lot of band merch. band tees, tote bags, stickers, pins, whaaatever. he treats them like they're ancient artefacts, so most of them are pretty clean and have a surprisingly minimal amount of tears, rips, or holes.

he probably also buys signed CD's, posters or just special edition presses of vinyls. he went to an evanescence concert once and it's probably his favourite concert he's been to.

i'd say a good amount of the creeps underestimate his intelligence due to the fact that he probably isn't the best at expressing himself in words or actions. he fucking HAAATES feeling small or little in comparison to his peers - after all, he's just as smart as they are. he shouldn't be treated like he's beneath them.

i feel like tobias would randomly stare at people. he doesn't understand that he's making them uncomfortable. he just stares at them. their body language. he tries to figure out every little emotion they're feeling by analysing the way they carry themself, their posture - whatever.

he's such a midwestern emo. anyone who says he isn't is a big fat stinking LIAR!!! he definitely listens to loser music, too. dude listens to weezer. (self projecting a little here)

toby is awkward. he's really loud. i think he would have auditory processing disorder. he speaks really loud and someone will tell him "hey, keep it down dude" and he's confused. huh ???? he was speaking normally ????

it's also like that one picture.

"hey do you wanna get french toast"

"sorry can you say that again"

"do you wan-"

"oh shit yeah actually i heard you let's get french toast"

also i know i said this in my other post but he has the weirdest fucking contact names for everyone in his phone. he probably has jeff or tim (if you hc or whatever they're in the same universe) saved as "cocksucker mcgee"

he probably kinda stinks. doesn't like showers because of the water. he may not have any temperature perception but he fucking hates water. he doesn't like the way it feels on his skin. it's just icky.

toby probably puts on eyeliner sometimes. it's like that diary of a wimpy kid scene when frank asks rodrick if he's wearing eyeliner. i dunno who frank would be in this scenario but it's true.

he'd walk up to nina and ask to borrow her eyeliner. i forgot to clarify by eyeliner i mean black waterline pencils.

on roadtrips toby is almost always in control of the aux. @tobyislame has a REALLY fucking good toby playlist. (sorry for the @ by the way, whoopsies)

toby hoards things. he collects things, then will refuse to get rid of them even though they serve literally no purpose. he probably has a bunch of rocks with googly eyes stuffed away in a shoebox in his closet.

also,, he's probably allergic to bees.

#creepypasta #crp #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta hcs #crp headcanons #crp hcs #ticci toby #toby rogers #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby hcs #toby rogers headcanons #toby rogers hcs #tobias erin rogers #tobias erin rogers headcanons #tobias erin rogers hcs #headcanons #hcs

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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Hey do you think ya can explain Barnaby and his illusion smoke a bit? It seems really cool and I don't remember if ya talked about it in depth before

sure! this got a bit longer than i expected!

so i was thinking that Barnaby seems like more of a hands-off kinda guy when it comes to altercations. would rather sit back and make funny commentary! so if he Had to get involved, i imagine it would be from a distance and still in an Entertaining Way!

thus - illusion magic! for this au i've been picturing that he got his paws on some illusionary herb in his early teens. for making people laugh, you know! and help out with the farm - illusions could distract animals, convince them to move on to different pastures, calm the chickens for egg-collecting, etc!

Ms. Beagle didn't really approve, since smoking is harmful, but lucky for the both of them this particular plant doesn't deal as much damage when smoked as normal smoking materials would - like tobacco! something to do with the magic properties! so Barnaby mostly used it for chores (when his mama wasn't paying attention, ofc - it's still a bad habit in her eyes) and entertainment purposes.

how it works: on its own, it doesn't do much when burned. it's not like illusions will waft out of the pipe's bowl, or that sniffing it will give someone hallucinations. in order for it to work properly, the user has to inhale properly, form the Intent of what the illusion should be / look like / behave, then purposefully blow the smoke out with that thought firmly in mind. the reach of the smoke depends on the force of Intent, and the intensity depends on the amount inhaled. those that breathe it in / are surrounded by it will see hallucinations of whatever Barnaby - or whoever the user is - wants them to! it can be literally anything! whether or not the target is fooled depends entirely on the individual, but the herb is potent enough that most are convinced that what they "see" is real (auditory hallucinations only occur if the target breathes in the smoke)

upsides: this form of magic is great for distractions, cover, deescalation, and that kind of thing. if needed, Barnaby could stop a fight with one exhale! it's a pretty powerful trick! it also means that Barnaby has built up a tolerance to illusion magic over the years, so where most of the party would be tricked, Barnaby would be unfazed. the only one with total immunity to the form of magic is Wally!

downsides: if Barnaby uses too much in too short of a time, it will get to him. and since he breathes in the largest amount - undiluted at that - it can fuck him up! using it sparingly / using repeated small amounts doesn't do anything. the most it will do is make him feel slightly untethered, but he has an easy time ignoring it / shaking it off.

in mild cases of the magic getting to him, it's like a bad trip. his proprioception is messed with (basically he gets uncharacteristically clumsy & off-balance), he feels like he's falling, anxiety spikes, and his vision is just... off! there are blind spots (im talking actual blind spots, not spots of black), things are moving in ways that they shouldn't, he has mild auditory hallucinations. the others can help ground him by talking to him, touching him, and confirming what's real and what isn't.

in bad cases, it's like that but 10 times worse. on top of all of the previous symptoms being worsened, he gets extremely vivid hallucinations, and they're very often not fun! it's a simultaneous feeling of dying, going insane, and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Barnaby loses sense of where he is, who's where, what's happening. he can get lost in the hallucinations - he has no way to know that they aren't real. in these terrible trips, no one can really help him. they can't get through the hallucinations, and if they do, the magic morphs Barnaby's perception of them and they end up adding to the effects. honestly the best thing for him is to let him rest somewhere with as little sensory input as possible & leave him be until he starts to come down. physical contact does help, since Barnaby understands on an instinctive level that illusions can't touch him, but it doesn't help half as much as it does w/ the mild trips. and again, the presence of someone can make the hallucinations worse.

so! suffice to say! he doesn't like using the herb all that often, and it's why he Stays Out Of It unless absolutely needed. he has two pouches of the herb - one with the strong stuff, reserved for emergencies / one with just a tiny bit of it mixed in with Barnaby's own personal blend for recreational/everyday use. (he also has an emergency tobacco stash in his pack, but that's only for when he's completely out of his usual blend <3)

extra lil scribble that didn't make it into the lil doodle post... i broke his wrist...

#the undiluted one is the blue/purple/pink smoke #while the personal blend changes color depending on his mood #and the personal blend does Not cause illusions!#the herb is included in the blend for cosmetic effects - colorful smoke! - and it has calming affects #so its. yeah its rgb weed last person nailed it on the head #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #the other day i was thinking about howdy's first adventure with the neighborhood #and i was like 'ok situation where barnaby has to use a tad too much of the magic'#and i amused myself imagining howdy's shock and panic when barnaby - steady graceful barnaby #staggers a little. looks up at the trees/skies. goes 'oh no' and promptly stumbles and falls on his face. and then just does not get back u #he has to go get poppy to make sure he isnt hurt / also howdy would Not be able to half-drag barn back to camp on his own #that dog is dead weight and staggering all over the place - if they can even unstick his claws from where he's anchored himself #sometimes barnaby will feel the unpleasant trip Incoming and he'll just. lie down right there and then #facedown. gripping the grass like his life depends on it - and also whoever's closest #frank always leaps out of the way when barn starts to Sway bc he does not want to sacrifice his arm for a solid few hours #usually wally is the one to sit with him and happily get his arm bones squeezed into dust <3 #a common thing is barnaby will be like 'the trees/sky is melting and the ground is turning inside-out'#what does that mean! no one knows! he cant explain it when he sobers up!

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chavisory · 5 months

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‘I live in extremes’: A qualitative investigation of Autistic adults’ experiences of inertial rest and motion

"An alternative explanation of Autistic inertia is derived from a predictive coding account of autism (van de Cruys et al., 2013, 2014). Under predictive coding, perception is determined by both prior expectations about the world, as well as incoming sensory signals from the world (Clark, 2015; Hohwy, 2013; Rao & Ballard, 1999). Any mismatch between the expectation and sensory signal generates a prediction error. While some errors should be attended to, others are unreliable and should be ignored. For example, you might be more alert to a mismatch between what you expected your friend to say (‘hello’) and what you heard your friend say (‘yellow’) when in a quiet café (where the sensory input is more reliable), but the same mismatch might be ignored in a noisy café (where the auditory input is less reliable, and the error could be attributed to a mishearing).

However, the brains of Autistic people may treat all errors as salient (van de Cruys et al., 2013, 2014). Thus, in a volatile environment (e.g. a busy workplace or a cluttered home), an Autistic person might become overwhelmed by multiple, salient prediction errors, all competing for attention, leading to cognitive overload, and ultimately mental and physical paralysis (‘inertial rest’)."

This study is excellent (and a good read), and really feels like the beginning of some of the research into autistic inertia I'd like to see in the world.

#autism #autismproblems #disability #neurodiversity #inertia

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yyutsuu · 9 months

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Early Morning -William James Moriarty x GN Reader-

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!! Fluff !!

Gender Neutral reader

!! TW !! : Slight teasing (very light lime)

Romantic relationship

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Word count: 709 words

A/n: Finally, William post !!! He’s my top kin and I adore him an unhealthy amount

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It is currently early in the morning, too early for anyone to be up. Your ears catch a light rustle of sound. Being able to identify it as your lover, William, sitting up while beside you, you roll over and shift your gaze up to the blonde.

“Liam? Unable to sleep?” You ask lazily. “It seems so. Is a good morning kiss available?” William replies. He has been perfectly conscious, laying on the shared bed for a great deal of hours already, and after having the auditory perception of hearing you waking up, he smiles tenderly at his lover.

You pull him down, under the covers once again. William is met with a loving embrace as you softly place your lips on his. “Good morning, love.” William mutters. He kisses you with passion, gently pressing his and your lips together for an extensive amount of time. William feels the warm, adoring embrace of the love of his life close to him. He is truly unable to imagine a life without you by his side.

Gently nibbling on his lips isn’t enough for you, this results in the continuation of changing to kiss his neck with affection. “Mhm…” William gives a small moan as his neck is lightly bitten and kissed. Clearly vividly cherishing the attention and affection you are giving him. “I love you so much.” He whispers faintly.

“The feeling is very much mutual.” You add. You burrow your head into William’s chest, refusing to break the embrace. “Do you perhaps wish to get some breakfast?” William asks in a low and soothing voice, feeling extra comfortable and collected beside you.

“You should rest, at least for a moderate bit more… or we could have a different kind of breakfast~” You respond teasingly, looking up at him with a smirk. William’s returning chuckle is filled with tenderness. “I see what you are implying, you naughty, little monster.” He says, his crimson orbs shining softly, as if they were rubies.

“Just sleep for a while more, you need more rest than what you have received.” You mutter. You tightly clutch William, trapping him in your clasp while also rendering him unable to escape.

William sighs. “Fine.” He responds gingerly, closing his eyes once again. “Do you wish to cuddle for a little while longer?” He negotiates. Your eyes light up with happiness at his words. “I suppose that means yes.” William says, smiling tenderly while pressing himself closer to you.

William can feel his arms wrapped around his beautiful lover while you’re returning the embrace. William is enjoying the warmth and closeness of your body against his own. You proceed to burrow your head into his broad chest on instinct, dozing off from the level of comfort.

“You look adorable when you’re close to falling asleep.” William whispers. He strokes your hair with a gentle and benevolent touch, appreciating the moment of togetherness and the feeling of being close to his lover. After a short period of time flies by, both you and William succumb to sleep. William had dozed off comfortably with you in his arms.

By the time the two of you wake up, the sun is already shining brightly outside the room. Sunlight peeks into the shared bedroom, a pleasant and summery warmth filling it. William yawns widely and stretches himself, yawning again. His soft, blonde hair is standing on end and his eyes are still barely open.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” William whispers, caressing your cheek and gently shaking you awake. You respond with a lazy yawn and good morning. “Did you have a good sleep, my love?” William asks tenderly, cuddling and kissing your cheek, smiling softly at his lover.

“Very much so, how about you?” You respond. “I slept well too. You are such a cozy sleeper.” William whispers softly, cuddling closer to his lover and burying his face in your hair. "I could stay in bed with you all day," He whispers gently. "There's nothing I fancy further than simply being with you and feeling your warm embrace."

William holds you close, deeply savoring the affection of his lover close to him.

The two of you continue to stay in bed, enjoying the moment for a while more, before finally getting up for breakfast.

———

-yyutsuu on Tumblr and Wattpad-

!! Please refrain from reposting my work without permission !!

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reveriedraffs · 5 months

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ཐིཋྀ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ PRE-MINDSET BEFORE SHIFTING!!

First of all i want to thank you all for supporting my waiting room ideas post. I am really greatful for that. And second of all i am really sorry for not posting anything after that. I am an IT student and i have been busy with my exams and collage stuff so it was really hard for me to keep it up with my social life and during that time i have found more about shifting "on scientific side". So I decided to make post today so in this post i am going to talk about "THE PRE-MINDSET". Where i have found so many different things to fix that.

Such as subliminals and I am pretty sure that you guys know what it is. and if you don't then subliminal simply, messages that are sent to the brain below conscious processing. They are visual and auditory cues that are delivered at levels below the threshold of human perception.

So I have come up with some solutions. I know many of us have this problem with focusing or concentrating on things and many of us have so many doubts because shifting is too true to be real so I decided to make a playlist of subliminals that will help you become more aware of yourself, reprogram your subconscious mind, stop limiting yourself, clear your doubts about shifting, helps you to increase your visualizing skills and manifest your desires. all you need to do is manifest shinfing realities. yes because,

MANIFESTING = SHIFTING REALITIES.

Here is the playlist for pre-mindset shifting

Here is the Wattpad book with details+scientific proofs

(however I will add more things in this book so read the chapters because the chapters are really big in this book with lots of details.)

I will also talk all the scientific theories and the proof i gather on shifting but this is the quick post before i actually talk about that theory, and yes it might take 2 weeks because my exams are near.

see ya all soon~

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maltedghost · 2 years

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The Omori Fanbase and Misunderstanding of Psychosis

This is going to be more ranty than anything else, so I apologize for that. I think it’s important that I also clarify this is coming from my personal opinion, and not everyone thinks the same.

I may as well mention, I have gone through psychosis for two years and have dealt with long term mental illness my entire life; it’s an uphill battle, and it’s something that never truly goes away. Medication is needed to properly maintain the symptoms of psychosis, and I want that to be kept in mind while reading this.

Here we go

For a game that emphasizes how mental health can take hold of and deteriorate the psyche, I’m surprised/somewhat disgusted by how a majority of the omori fanbase characterizes Basil as an obsessive yandere who is nothing but clingy and all smiles.

I also think it’s important to remember that DW Basil is what Sunny/Omori wants him to be, the same way Sunny/Omori creates the rest of his friends to be ‘perfect’ (which is why he keeps killing DW Basil when he steps out of line from that ‘perfect’ and ‘delicate’ persona).

That being said…

The fanbase is able to separate the DW and RW versions of the characters, but for some reason, this is not the case with Basil. Basil is treated as being exactly the same in RW like he is in DW; clingy, obsessive, and childish (when in reality he is fearing for his life and avoiding everyone like the plague—especially Sunny).

But why is that? My only guess can be is that this is another case of people misunderstanding symptoms of psychotic episodes.

When someone is going through psychosis, reality becomes distorted. You are unable to think or act correctly. Every day is waking up in fear, paranoid that something is going to come get you. It becomes difficult to distinguish what is real and what is not real. You don’t trust anyone, and you have the feeling of constantly being watched. Every day is a waking nightmare, and every night is a battle to fall asleep. It’s impossible to run away from your delusions, and they follow you everywhere you go like some festering parasite that only grows stronger over time.

Basil’s mind has clearly deteriorated throughout those four years. It only makes sense his paranoia and delusions became worse over time, eventually evolving into full psychosis; auditory, visual, tactile hallucinations… its made explicitly clear in-game that Basil suffers from all of these.

As represented by Basil’s SOMETHING, he is quite literally being eaten alive by his guilt and paranoia.

Now, as for anyone who has dealt with psychotic breaks, you’ll know that pushing away those thoughts only make them worse. Which brings me to my next point:

Basil is not obsessed with Sunny. He quite literally has no choice but to think about him. I truly believe he tried pushing away any reminders of his trauma, and I imagine during his first year alone, he tried giving up on the idea that Sunny would be there with him so they could have each other’s backs. He most likely tried moving on and living life as normally as he could.

But that’s not how PTSD works.

Basil’s trauma, no matter how hard he tried to push it away, haunted him every day—thus, Sunny haunted him every day. Every day, Basil’s paranoia had been reminding him of what happened, who was there, and what was promised.

This is what leads him into his psychosis, and his haunted perception of Sunny.

When Basil finally sees Sunny for the first time after four years, he’s not happy. He’s more-so nervous than anything else.

Sunny is a reminder of his trauma, and it’s made clear Basil isn’t ready to face him given he never wants to join your party.

(Displaying disoriented speech)

When he finds out that Sunny came out after all these years just to leave again (he didn’t even hear it from Sunny), of course that would trigger a psychotic response; thus, Basil retreats into the bathroom and manically repeats the phrase that’s gotten him through those four horrid, lonely years.

(Repetition of words/rumination)

While hallucinating as Sunny seemingly enters the bathroom to comfort him after all these years, he’s left alone again to be consumed by his paranoia. This goes on for the remainder of the game; Basil actively avoiding the party and staying inside, believing there is no hope left for him or Sunny.

(Foreshadowing suicidal thoughts)

And then his grandma passes.

Something interesting is that every interaction with RW Basil always leads to a fear response from Basil. Even if the incident from four years ago is never brought up, it’s obvious it’s constantly on his mind (again, psychosis consumes your every waking thought).

(he immediately becomes paranoid around Sunny, talking about Mari, unprompted).

And then there’s Basil’s meltdown.

(Hostility)

Some more symptoms of psychosis is sometimes having to deal with bouts of aggressiveness, word repetition, restlessness, and of course, frenzied/incoherent speaking.

When these meltdowns happen, it often reveals innermost thoughts and/problems, but in a more panicked sort of way. With that said…

I believe Basil’s dialogue in this scene reveals how he truly feels about Sunny.

Taking on the responsibility of hiding a horrid truth, all by himself, for four years—the guilt, paranoia, hallucinations getting worse and worse—and then finding out that the only other person who knows about this horrible sin is about to leave you again; but this time, forever. It’s cruel, and I don’t blame Basil for feeling some type of resentment towards Sunny.

(Part of me views Sunny losing his eye as punishment for his sins, but that’s just me).

Conclusion

I guess what I wanted to get across was that I’m sick of seeing people mischaracterize yet another psychotic character as nothing but a creepy yandere. I find it insulting to those who have gone through either short or long term psychosis (including me), and any of those who may still be dealing with psychotic breaks. I really want to see the fanbase do better, especially when this is a game that can be seen as mental health awareness.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t horribly saddened by OMORI’s neutral endings. Seeing Basil commit suicide and succumb to his psychosis is scary, and it’s something so many people dealing with mental illness fear every day. It’s a reminder of what could have happened to me had I not gotten the support and help I needed (meds, friends, family).

Afterthoughts

I don’t think Basil hates Sunny. Does that mean They should continue being friends? Well, maybe; exposure response therapy is usually helpful for dealing with things like this, and if Basil were to continue avoiding Sunny like the plague I believe it would only make his mental health worse (also of course Basil shouldn’t have stabbed out Sunny’s eye but my boy was hallucinating throw him a bone).

In reality, I think Basil just wants things to go back to the way they were, just like everyone else does. It’s very clear given the context of the game that Sunny and Basil have a special bond (“a red string of fate”).

If anything, I believe Sunny is more obsessed with Basil than Basil is with him, but that’s a different post for the future.

…and don’t even get me started on how Sunny told the truth then left Basil to pick up the scraps and deal with the aftermath of his friends.

…and no, I still have no idea what is up with Basil getting the idea to hang Mari.

#omori #omori basil #omori sunny #omori analysis #omori spoilers

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