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#august is soon if we spend months in lockdown
vanillacup-cakes · 12 days
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It's been a while since I've done this. And by that I mean it's been a while since I finished one of these. I always end up drafting and never publishing.
I kinda forgot what happened in 2023 until I started writing my appraisal at work, and then it started to trickle back in. In short, 2023 was one hell of a stressful year.
Work wise, we started the year wherein a major project that we've been working on for literal years, and then finally got pushed through in 2022, and was centimetres away from the finish line, was pulled. It was too expensive they said, so all the work we did was not only redundant, but also had to be reversed. Everything.
Speaking of redundant... We also had to go through a redundancy process, and boy was that a rollercoaster. Did I think I had a good chance of keeping my job? Yes, I mean I had been working for the company for nearly 6 years and had been keeping team afloat for all those 6 years with roughly 1 manager a year, for probably about 6-9 months of that year. I wasn't 100% sure, you never know with these things, but I thought it was going to be okay.
I got to keep my job but shit only got started, I take one sick day off and suddenly I'm being flung in different directions that doesn't make sense. On top of all of that, we also moved offices, meaning I was getting up at 5:30am to make sure I beat the traffic and got to the office around 7:45am.
I was stressed, and tired, and people I liked at work started disappearing, and then suddenly my job is no longer what I thought it would be, and, honestly, I've never felt that miserable in my whole entire working life.
Sure there's been peaks and troughs at work but this was a whole new level.
Here's the thing. After spending time thinking about it, I think I never really recovered from the pandemic situation. Pre-covid I had a full-on calendar but I felt like I managed. Post-covid, I think I was feeling overwhelmed all the time but I kept insisting to myself that it was fine and I'll get back into the swing of things soon.
Then I read articles about how people felt that their life foundations went down when the pandemic happened and it finally made sense. For years and years I built a steady foundation for the life I was leading, slowly putting in routines and habits to help with the persistence of events, and chores, and things I wanted and needed to do. And then that all came crashing down when the pandemic happened. Life was different and so things were different, my routine and habits were different, and trying to get back into a post-covid era was not easy.
I was overwhelmed and didn't know how to get back into the high-speed train that was my pre-covid schedule. And so in 2023, I found myself just about getting through.
That's not to say nothing was good in 2023.
On the contrary, January started with a weekend away to A's place. It might have been cold and dreary sometimes, but we had fun at the boardgames cafe, chatting til the late hours, and eating the best damn pie I've ever had.
We went back to ballet, and the monthly dinners were back on track again! In fact, it might be a record? We went from January to May, on a 5-month streak, only broken up by Singing on the river (June), and birthday celebration (July), then back again in August. Then it was S's birthday (September), and one final dine out (October) before I went on my sabbatical (November), and then it was Christmas.
I also always nearly forget I went to Japan in March, just before everything went on lockdown (not that lockdown) at work, then no more travelling for work after that.
The only travel now was personal, to the Lake District in wet April, to sunny Italy for B's wedding, and the Cotswolds in October for our anniversary, and annual weekend away.
There were AmDram evenings with raffles, comedy shows with our favourite comediennes (some booked almost a year in advance), Harry Styles, Hozier, and a couple of West End musicals scattered around the year.
The Eras Tour Ticket Debacle.
Turning 30.
I deferred my chance for a big birthday bash to 2024 in hopes that H would be able to come to the UK. C deferred too but for different reasons. S planned a wonderfully relaxing spa weekend, and K planned a delicious trip to Hungary.
Turning 30 is not so bad when you use it as an excuse to be a little frivolous and enjoy the money you make sitting at a desk 37.5 hours a week. Or 40+ if you're S.
I changed jobs, same company, different departments. Just as my hope to get out of then current predicament was dashed, another opportunity arose.
I also moved houses, moved in.
So, as September closed, just over a month before my big trip, I moved house, and started a new job all at once. Why make one big life change at a time when you can do almost three things at once!
Speaking of which, 2023 was also a year of vaccines, so many goddamned vaccines. Well, at least the 2nd half was full of vaccines. Finally, after a turbulent year at work, I was getting close to my years-hoped sabbatical trip, 3 weeks in Thailand; 2 weeks at an elephant sanctuary, and then a few days at a dog shelter. From August to October, I had various vaccine appointments. So much money spent!
And November came and went in a strange time flux that felt slow but quick all at the same time, like life in Thailand was always going to be the way, but also like it was all a dream.
Then it was December. Going from days walking around Thailand in 30 degree heat, to coming home to -6 in the UK, barely two weeks back at work and then it was suddenly Christmas.
And of course there are the date nights, Christmas in February, and the evenings of laughing at the most mundane things in our little flat. Walking for hours and just missing the lunch hours at the pub, saying he won't share food but not caring if I steal a chip or two, and stocking up the fridge with his and hers desserts. Paper cranes, post-it notes, and bringing two winter coats when he came to pick me up from the airport because he knew I'd need an extra one to keep warm.
Boxes, and boxes, and even more boxes at every corner of the flat. Constantly trying to think of ways we can make more space.
There's starting a new routine of yoga before bedtime and starting immediately after we came back from his parents'. We followed the routine even on New Year's Eve, in bed before it was even 10pm.
And just like that 2023 was over.
2023 was chaotic.
I think that's really the best way to describe it.
I've never felt so out of my depth in my own life, but also such a happy year in many other ways.
2024 will hopefully be the year of new routines and habits and maybe less overwhelm and just more fun.
Here goes nothing!
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mycheerykid · 1 year
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Kyle Sandilands and fiancee Tegan Kynaston welcomed their first little one, a child boy named Otto, final month.And on Sunday, the 51-year-old radio jock shared a brand new photograph alongside his cute little boy on social media.The brand new snap was posted on The Kyle and Jackie O Present's official Instagram web page together with the caption, "Kyle's Bear #Otto." Kyle Sandilands and fiancee Tegan Kynaston welcomed their first little one, a child boy named Otto, final month.Within the photograph, Kyle could be seen wanting in direction of the digital camera whereas holding Otto, who was carrying a black shirt with a furry design. The submit was shortly flooded with feedback from followers.John Ibrahim commented: 'Take a look at this man!' whereas Lisa Oldfield of Actual Housewives of Sydney wrote: 'It is so fucking cute. And the child isn't dangerous both. John Ibrahim commented: 'Take a look at this man!' whereas Lisa Oldfield of Actual Housewives of Sydney wrote: 'It is so fucking cute. And the child isn't dangerous both'The controversial KIIS FM host, who was as soon as warned by docs that his partying life-style would ship him to an early grave, now spends his nights adoring his new child son."I used to look at hours and hours of TV, and now I simply sit there watching it and it actually has been a pleasure," he instructed Every day Mail Australia. “I have been sitting at house the entire time and I've loved it. I am house extra now than I used to be with the lockdowns, so we love each second of it. Crash jock Kyle Sandilands tells the Every day Mail Australia he has by no means been happier after the beginning of his first little one, Otto. Each are pictured collectively'I am fairly pleased truly. I can not think about being happier.Kyle, who welcomed Otto with fiancée Tegan Kynaston in August, admitted he by no means dreamed of getting kids however is now "thrilled" that he determined to make the leap and change into a father. On the top of his events within the late 2000s, Kyle suffered from drug habit and struggled with despair. Kyle, who welcomed Otto with fiancée Tegan Kynaston in August, admitted he had by no means dreamed of getting kids earlier than however is now "thrilled" that he determined to make the leap and change into a father. Kyle and Tegan seem collectively in MarchIn 2018, he mentioned he had 'self-medicated and regressed by dozens of traces' and that his life-style usually triggered him to overlook work, together with lacking two stay eviction exhibits whereas internet hosting Huge Brother with Jackie 'O' Henderson. in 2008 .Though fatherhood has softened him up lately, the outspoken star guarantees viewers will not be getting a politically appropriate Kyle when he returns to screens as a choose on the upcoming Australian Idol reboot.'Oh my God, are you kidding me?' she scoffed when requested if he would let wake-up tradition stifle his well-known unfiltered persona on the household present. "I used to look at hours and hours of TV, and now I simply sit there watching it and it actually has been a pleasure," Kyle (pictured with son Otto) instructed Every day Mail Australia.I even requested Channel Seven after they known as me into the boardroom and mentioned, "We wish you again." And I used to be like, "Pay attention. I am not going to have the ability to be one among these judges of sunshine and love."I'm very straight to the purpose. It isn't disagreeable, however I am not going to faux they're cool. I mentioned, "In the event that they're shit, they are going to be instructed they're shit. Both they're duped. Or they should work on this."'I mentioned I will be as good as doable, however I will not be like a voice coach. It will likely be like the cruel realities of the enterprise aspect of the enterprise.Kyle added that her function on the judging panel, which additionally contains Harry Connick Jr, Meghan Trainor and singer-songwriter Amy Shark, is "reducing the crap.
"However with a new child child and his function as one half of KIIS FM's The Kyle and Jackie O Present, is Kyle nervous about having an excessive amount of on his plate?"I used to be at first," he admitted. "He is by no means been a father earlier than so I wasn't certain what to anticipate, however we're fortunate he is fairly properly behaved and settled down," he continued. Regardless that fatherhood has softened him up lately, Kyle guarantees he'll keep the identical within the upcoming Australian Idol reboot. He's pictured with Mark Holden and Marcia Hines within the unique collection.He has an excellent mom who could be very dedicated. She wasn't too thrilled when she came upon that she was going to vanish from the home for 20 days, however there are just a few instances that I can return between the totally different cities, so we have labored on that.She doesn't care. She understands that work is essential.And with household life so quiet, Kyle and Tegan have not dominated out having extra children sooner or later. "We mentioned we might see how the primary one does and whereas it is carried out very well, we have simply realized now we have some pals who've two or three children they usually appear damaged they usually by no means can." come out, he mentioned."However it hasn't been dominated out, however we're simply going to work our method by means of the primary one, and if Tegan seems like she desires a second one, then we'll discuss that."I am prepared to do it, however we'll see the way it goes with the primary one. Sandilands, 51, (pictured) mentioned he and Tegan "have not dominated out" having extra kids.
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doushk · 4 years
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Since everything's a little weird right now & most seem to be bored I thought we could play a quarantine game 💘 answer the following! 1. how has your day been? 2. what is the last thing that made you smile? 3. what's keeping you entertained these days? 4. if you are in some kind of quarantine/self isolation: is there anything you'd like to achieve in this time? 5. post a selfie! (if you're comfortable with that) 6. last but not least: send this to some mutuals to keep the game going 💜
Hey Kim, thank you @brokenheartsgoupthere who tagged me on her ask.
1. My day was okay, like a sunday, I did some seedlings and tried to make bread (not a success)
2. I’m not sure, I think it was a puppy picture that @honestlytrulycompletelylarrie reblogged
3. I’m back at work since last thursdayand I don’t do much usually outside of work, so same as always : tumblr, fics, tv etc...
4. As I said I’m back at work, and before that I was on “holiday” that I took to go see Louis... I of course spent these days in lockdown in my house and tried watercolour painting ! I should have clean my room and tidy my dressing room, but I didn’t xd
5. Sorry I’m on my laptop, so no selfie !
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sapphicscience · 3 years
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Constant Sanitizing is Unnecessary and Harmful (A Collection of Sources)
[Links to be added in a reblog so tumblr doesn’t hide this post from tags.]
In my opinion, the chance of transmission through inanimate surfaces is very small, and only in instances where an infected person coughs or sneezes on the surface, and someone else touches that surface soon after the cough or sneeze (within 1–2 h). I do not disagree with erring on the side of caution, but this can go to extremes not justified by the data. Although periodically disinfecting surfaces and use of gloves are reasonable precautions especially in hospitals, I believe that fomites that have not been in contact with an infected carrier for many hours do not pose a measurable risk of transmission in non-hospital settings. A more balanced perspective is needed to curb excesses that become counterproductive.
“Exaggerated risk of transmission of COVID-19 by fomites,” Emanuel Goldman, The Lancet, August 2020
A global comparison of government interventions to control the pandemic in its early months found that cleaning and disinfection of shared surfaces ranked one of the least effective at reducing transmission. Social distancing and travel restrictions, including lockdowns, worked the best.
[...]
Armed with a year’s worth of data about coronavirus cases, researchers say one fact is clear. It’s people, not surfaces, that should be the main cause for concern. Evidence from superspreading events, where numerous people are infected at once, usually in a crowded indoor space, clearly point to airborne transmission, says Marr. “You have to make up some really convoluted scenarios in order to explain superspreading events with contaminated surfaces,” she says.
“COVID-19 rarely spreads through surfaces. So why are we still deep cleaning?,” Dyani Lewis, Nature, 29 January 2021
Unlike the coronavirus, hygiene theater is very much alive on surfaces across America. Transit authorities are still taking subway cars offline to power-scrub their walls. Baseball parks are banning cash to protect fans from fiat germs. Schools throughout the country still require deep cleanings that sometimes shut down classes for hours or days...Target is still running ads on Hulu bragging about how it calls in workers at 6 a.m. to mop and scrub for several hours, for the comfort of its germophobic customers.
[...]
But hygiene theater carries with it an immense opportunity cost. Too many institutions spend scarce funds or sacrifice scarce resources to do microbial battle against fomites that don’t pose a real threat. This is especially true of cash-strapped urban-transit authorities and school districts that have spent hundreds of millions of dollars on soap technology rather than their central task of transporting and teaching people. 
Hygiene theater also muddles the public-health message. If you tell people, “This disease is on surfaces, on your clothes, on your hands, on your face, and also in the air,” they will react in a scattered and scared way. But if you tell people the truth—this virus doesn’t do very well on surfaces, so you should focus on ventilation—they can protect themselves against what matters.
“Deep Cleaning Isn’t a Victimless Crime,” Derek Thompson, The Atlantic, 13 April 2021
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hockeylvr59 · 3 years
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I don’t know if you remember writing this but would you consider doing a part 2 to the blurb you wrote about Sidney having a son and not wanting to be in the picture and he comes back 15 years later?
So I’ve been sitting on this message forever and I wasn’t sure that a second part was ever in the plans but uh...here you go. I’m not sure I love the ending on this but we’re going with it. (1,703 words)
~~~~~
It had started with a favor. One that you hated asking for. One that you knew was likely to come with strings attached. One that was solely for the sake of your son. 
You remember sitting there with the number entered into your phone waiting for you to press the green call button for more than ten minutes. You remember the anxious feeling deep in the pit of your stomach as the phone rang. You remember hearing your name in that familiar deep dulcet tone. 
“Hi, Sidney.” You’d breathed, your throat going tight already. 
“I didn’t think you were going to call…” He trailed off. “It’s been...well months since I left you a message.” 
“I...honestly I wasn’t planning on calling.” You admitted. “But I need a favor. Well, Charlie needs a favor.” Before he could say anything you continued, jumping right into it. “You have a personal gym here, don’t you? Charlie...he’s...he’s going crazy not being able to work out with everything in lockdown. Which means I’m going crazy because he’s going crazy and with trying to work from home it’s all just a mess. We’ve made it this far but I don’t think anything is going to open any time soon and he’s already hating being away from the rink this long…” 
Before you’d been able to say anything else Sidney had cut you off. 
“If you’re asking if he can use my private gym to work out the answer is yes.” You remember letting out a sigh of relief but also waiting for the other shoe to drop. When the line remained quiet after that you spoke softly once more. 
“That’s it? Just yes.” You questioned. 
“Just yes Y/N.” Sidney stated. “Did you really think I’d say no?” 
You paused, pursing over your words. “I expected any agreement to come with a condition.” You admitted. You heard Sidney sigh over the line a few times. 
“No condition. Would I like to get the chance to talk to him...yes. But I’m not going to refuse to let him use my unoccupied gym unless he does. I fucked up and I don’t think I’m in any position to be demanding anything just because you’ve asked for a small favor. Goodness knows you have a right to ask way more than this from me given everything.” 
The brutal honesty with which he treated himself was only a bit surprising and you murmured soft thanks on behalf of your son who was going to be so excited to get to use a more proper gym. Not knowing what else to say, you made an excuse to end the call, your heart racing at having spoken with Sidney for the first time since he left. 
A key with a short sheet of information had been left in your mailbox only two days later and while you had expected Sidney to keep his word, you hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Charlie had been thrilled when you told him and for at least an hour each day from that day forward you took your son over to Sidney’s gym allowing him to start training again even if he couldn’t go full throttle since mom could only do so much as a spotter. 
Having spent months watching your teenage son struggle through quarantine, it was incredible watching him come back to life right in front of your eyes. At the same time, watching him like this brought all of the Sidney out in him and you fought back how hard it was seeing your son take more and more after his father. 
___
Charlie had always had a large amount of respect for his father, at least as a player. And lately, it seemed like his respect for him as a person was growing. 
All Charlie’s life it wasn’t articles about Sidney Crosby on ice that caught your son’s attention, it was the ones about how he treats people off-ice. Many times you’d discussed the hurt feelings your son maintained knowing his father continued to do so many things for other people while being completely out of the picture with his own son. You couldn’t pretend you knew how it felt for your son to see Sidney running hockey camps and playing with his Little Penguins or spending time with Alex Letang and Nikita Malkin. But you knew that it was hard for him. 
But since Charlie had started working out in Sid’s gym, using Sid’s artificial ice, you could see some of your son’s hardened walls start to soften because for the first time his dad had done something for him and him alone. 
So when Charlie came into your room around 10:30 pm on August 7th, you knew there was something important on his mind before he even opened his mouth. 
“Can we…can we call him?” Charlie had asked. “I want to talk to him.” Charlie didn’t need to clarify who he was talking about, you were well aware. And at first, your protective instincts took over. The Penguins had just been eliminated from the play-in round of playoffs and it was Sidney’s 33rd birthday. The odds were very likely that Sidney would not be in a good mood at all and you didn’t want your son being subjected to the brunt of his frustrations. 
Eventually, though, those light brown eyes wore you down. 
“We’ll text him.” You agreed. This way if Sidney was in a foul mood he could just ignore it or say so without putting too much pressure on him. 
Feel free to disregard this if you’re not up for it but Charlie would like to call you. 
Chewing on your lip you hugged Charlie close while waiting to see if you’d get any response. You knew that he would understand if Sidney didn’t want to talk after that kind of loss but at the same time you knew it would hurt a little too, facing any kind of rejection from his dad. 
After just a few minutes your phone lit up with a FaceTime request and you took a deep breath before answering it, Sidney’s tired face appearing on screen.
“Wow...someone is tech-savvy.” You murmured in greeting having not expected a FaceTime at all. You ignored the way you could tell his eyes were raking over you and instead murmured that you were going to let the two of them talk, passing the phone over to Charlie. For a moment you thought you heard Sidney’s breath catch as you left the room motioning that you would just be downstairs. 
“So I’m not sure it’s been a Happy Birthday so far…” You heard Charlie speak as you moved to give them some privacy. Settling onto the living room couch with a pint of ice cream, you waited as patiently as you could. 
It was nearly midnight when Charlie came downstairs with your phone in his hand, flopping onto the couch next to you after kissing your head. 
“Thanks mom.” He whispered and you nodded snuggling close for a few minutes before sending him up to bed. You didn’t feel the need to ask about what they had talked about, Charlie would share in time if he wanted to. It made you a little uneasy but that wasn’t important. 
As you slipped into bed, your phone buzzed with three small words. 
Thank you Y/N. 
____
After that first conversation, Charlie called Sidney every other week and the two of them talked for at least half an hour. 
Sidney never tried to push boundaries though. He never tried to buy his way into Charlie’s life, he never demanded more than either you or Charlie were willing to give. But at the same time, you knew that he was now playing a role in your son’s life that Charlie had needed for a long time. Even if it wasn’t quite a father yet, it was certainly as a mentor and because of that Charlie thrived even more in the way he trained and the way he interacted with those around him. 
For so long you had pushed Sidney out of your life but now he was slowly oozing back into it. 
Even despite all of this, you were surprised when you walked into the living room to find Charlie rewinding a national broadcast hockey game. Except he wasn’t rewatching a play, no, he was rewinding an intermission interview segment with Sidney himself. You could see the tears in his eyes and as he pressed play you immediately understood why. 
“So 1000 games. Three Stanley Cups, two Conn Smythe trophies, Hart’s, Art Ross’s, Leadership Awards, MVP awards...and that’s just your NHL achievements. You’ve done pretty much everything a player could dream of doing. Is there anything you would change about it all?” The interviewer asked. 
Sidney paused for a moment as if he was thinking about all of those things. 
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess there is definitely something I would change looking back if I could.” He admitted, his eyes going soft and a bit watery on camera. The interviewer just gave him a look pressing for more information and Sidney chewed on his lip before speaking. “I guess if there was one thing I could change, it would be having a family by my side. Having my son by my side. I see Geno and Kris with their kids sharing all of these experiences and I could have had that all along if I wasn’t so scared. If I could change one thing, it would be that.” 
The interview cuts out then, a broadcaster saying that the full interview will air on the channel’s youtube page after Crosby plays game 1000 with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Charlie quickly rewinds playing the segment for a third time before he realizes you’re there and he looks up at you crying steadily. 
Moving around the couch you pull Charlie into your arms hugging him tightly and letting him cry. You couldn’t imagine what Charlie was feeling, hell you barely knew how you were feeling. 
For the first time in 15 years, Sidney had publicly acknowledged his son’s existence and that acknowledgment had the potential to change everything.
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headheartbellarke · 3 years
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DATE NIGHT | owen joyner headcannons
Requested by anon: “Owen x reader - both actors with very busy lives try to spend time together (they have a shared apartment but get no time alone) but every time they always get interrupted so Owen decides to take both their phones & turn them off/cancel their plans so they can spend the day together & do couple things.” A/N: felt like headcannons would suit the idea better :3 WARNING(s): tooth rotting fluff ig hehe
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Owen and you are both actors, but on different Netflix shows – he’s in Julie and The Phantoms, and you’re in Lucifer.
You met via your common friend, Savannah – you and her live in the same building in LA, and it was no surprise when you guys became best friends, considering how similar you guys are. You also have an apartment in Vancouver, BC, since you had to constantly travel there for shooting Lucifer, ever since you joined the show in its fourth season.
When Savannah mentioned that she needs to go to Vancouver, you were quick to offer her your apartment. A couple of weeks after she moved there, you went to visit her, because you missed your best friend more than anything, and that’s how you met Owen.
You developed a crush on him immediately (because, well, he is just too cute!) and you guys used to hang out all the time and were the same level of chaotic, and everyone used to talk about how you guys are made for each other. You two would try out all the new restaurants in the city, would check out all the tourist destinations, go hiking together, have movie nights every weekend – basically, you two were inseparable, especially after you moved there to film Lucifer. You guys would also flirt with each other, a lot.
Everyone, especially your best friend and Charlie, would tease you guys about it, constantly.
Finally, after a month of constant flirting, you couldn’t take it anymore and you kissed him, and the both of you confessed your feelings, and it’s been pretty great so far.
When lockdown started, you got stuck in your apartment in LA, alone, while he was back in Oklahoma, at his parents’ home.
You two would facetime each other constantly, but, obviously, that wasn’t enough.
Finally, in August, he moved into your apartment.
Safe to say, quarantine wasn’t as dull as before.
But when Lucifer season 5A released, and then, JATP, you guys had to do interviews 24/7, and you also had meetings for the next season.
You two would wake up, kiss each other, have breakfast together, and then, you guys would sit in your desks, in different rooms and work all day long. Sometimes, between interviews, you would grab something to eat from the kitchen, and on the way back to your room, you would go to him, and he would switch his camera off, and you would wordlessly sit in his lap and hug him for a minute, before returning to work.
He would sometimes come into your room, and press a kiss on your forehead, whispering an ‘I love you.’
Finally, after every bit of work is done, you and Owen would make dinner together, and have it while cuddling on the couch, and sometimes that would lead to more, but most days you guys are too tired to even speak.
One Friday, the both of you, coincidentally, had the entire day free. It was such a rare occurrence, and when the alarm in Owen’s phone rang, you switched off the phone, and wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him closer. He murmured sleepily, “Y/N, we have –”
You kissed him and whispered, “Nothing. We have nothing.”
That seemed to wake him up, as his eyes suddenly brightened, and he ran a hand through his already messed up hair. The action was so hot that it gave you actual butterflies.
“So… does this mean that…” He whispered, biting back a smile as his eyes trailed over your body. You grinned, grabbing a handful of his shirt, and said, “Just kiss me, you dork.”
Two hours later, you woke up (you always fall asleep after sex, almost as a rule) to find Owen’s side empty.
You walked to the kitchen to find him flipping pancakes and you swore that you could have swooned at the sight of your shirtless boyfriend cooking.
He served you breakfast, and you guys joked around, eating them, and enjoying the serene morning.
After breakfast, you did the dishes, while he did the laundry. After the both of you were done, you searched around for your phone to check your social media.
You couldn’t find it anywhere, and when you asked your boyfriend about it, he grinned mischievously. “We’re gonna spend today together, Just us alone.” You couldn’t stop a grin from escaping.
First, he suggested going for a run together, and you agreed. On regular days, you work out in the mornings, while Owen sometimes goes for a run towards the evening. But, today, you two went running together, along the beach. It was refreshing to finally go out after a while, even if you two had masks on, due to the pandemic.
When you returned, you guys took a bath together, and talked about the most random of things.
Owen ordered a pizza for lunch, and you decided to watch Mamma Mia.
Owen fell asleep on your lap after finishing his pizza, but you stayed up till the end, because who falls asleep during Mamma freaking Mia?
Soon after the movie, you fell asleep too, your hands tangled in his hair.
You woke up to the sound of feet shuffling, and found Owen standing a few feet away from you with his phone in your hand. “Hey, you’re up.” You smiled, and he tapped on his phone, your favorite song replacing the quiet of your apartment. He held out a hand to you, and you laughed, hiding your face in your hands. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Shut up and dance.”
“That was even more cheesy.”
Of course, you two danced, you burying your face in the crook of his neck, while he had his arms wrapped around your torso, while yours were around his neck. You breathed in his grapefruit scent, smiling when you remembered that he uses your body wash. You guys danced around for a while, the slow dancing soon turning to jumping on your couch and singing the Julie and The Phantoms soundtrack at the top of your lungs.
After that, you proposed baking some brownies.
That was a mistake because Owen never follows the instructions on the net. You were pretty irritated when he added four eggs when it was clearly written to add three.
“Aw, you look adorable when you’re mad.”
That was it, and you grabbed a handful of flour and threw it in his direction, his face now as white as snow.
He stayed silent for a while, before grabbing you by your waist and whispering, “Oh, it’s on.”
He proceeded to coat you in sugar.
Thirty minutes later, you were both covered in flour, and sugar and the kitchen in anything and everything that’s required in making cake batter.
Fortunately, you managed to salvage some of the batter, and another hour later, the smell of brownies engulfed the apartment.
“Wow, I’m such a good baker.” “Please, Owen.”
You guys cleaned up and facetimed Owen’s mother to show her what you had made.
“I helped.” “No, he didn’t, Dinah.” “Yes, I did –” “No!”
Dinah smiled at the two of you and said, “It looks great. I know it was all you, Y/N.”
Owen rolled his eyes, muttering, “I hate that you two are friends.” But his little smile gave away what he was truly feeling.
After that, you guys ate the brownies, and some leftovers from last night. Owen put on your favorite movie, while you snuggled into his side, and whispered, “Today was perfect.”
He smiled, kissing the top of your head, “I missed you.”
“I love you.”
He grinned, cupping your face, and pressing a kiss to your lips. His thumb caressed your cheek for a moment as he whispered, “And I love you.”
You wrapped your arms around him, feeling glad to have such an amazing and caring person in your life.
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as usual, feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated <3
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mrs-hollandstan · 4 years
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The One Where They Get Married During Quarantine || Tom Holland
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Warnings: talk of the current pandemic, minor mentions of smuttish themes towards the end, language, talk of babiesssss
Word Count: 5,440
Author's Note: I like the way this came out! Thank you for the support on going through with it and I hope you enjoy :)
Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists
                Join us for the Wedding of 
                            Y/N Y/L/N
                                  &
                        Thomas Holland 
                 Saturday, March 28th 2020
              At Three O'clock in the Afternoon 
                Royal Botanical Kew Gardens
                  Richmond, United Kingdom 
That goddamn invitation stared you in the face from its place on the desk. It was Sunday, March 29th, and you still weren't married to the man of your dreams. You received an email three weeks before that your venue was forced to close their doors for the quarantine and you were stuck at home with not only Tom, but his brother, and both of his best friends. They'd had their fun with the pub quizzes, puzzle building, chicken raising, challenge accepting, but your fiancé always sensed the discontentment that radiated off of you and he was always willing to try and calm it to the best of his ability. But it never seemed to fully work, Tom knowing more than anyone that the fact the wedding you were so excited to plan, exhausted so much time and money into, wasn't happening when you wanted it to. You had a dress hanging in your shared closet, shoes, everything down to the cake delivery plan and the bouquet pickup dates. But it was all cancelled and it was like it was stored in a box and put up on a shelf. And to you, it seemed like Tom didn't understand the way you did, he wasn't hurt the way you were. 
Tom sighs as he enters your bedroom, closing the door behind him and cooing down at Tessa and nearing you. His eyes wander from your figure, one leg drawn up to your chest to the laptop now asleep in front of you. He leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, feeling the anxious waves roll off of you once more,
"You alright darling?" He asks anyways. You nod and he knows you're lying because he follows your eyes to the invitation you had gleefully told him would end up in a scrapbook when you got past the wedding. He sighs again, moving to sit back on the bed,
"I know how upset you are babe. And you know I hate it too. I loved the idea of seeing you walk down that aisle in this beautiful dress with our family around and all." He states. You can feel the tears burn your eyes as he speaks. You nod, letting him wheel your chair between his legs and clear your hair from your shoulder, 
"Talk to me love. You know I hate when you're quiet. You're never quiet." He says. You swallow, lips pursed for a moment before you sniffle and shake your head, 
"We would've been married a day today Tom. We would have had our dream wedding yesterday and we would have been in Fiji today." You express, Tom flinching at the anguish in your voice, 
"I know love. It sucks, it really does." You nod, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose. Not only has your wedding been shelved until further notice, but you're stuck in a testosterone filled house 24/7. You had hoped that soon, maybe in the next year or so, you and Tom would be finding your own place, being newlyweds and starting that family you so badly wanted. You let out a sob that kills Tom and his brain runs a mile a minute at what he can do for you. He clicks his tongue, dragging you into his arms and listening to you sob. He runs his fingers through your hair, eyes closed as he lets you cry, knowing how hard it’s been on you. Not only the wedding, but the quarantine. He always had a way with feelings and he always knew what you were feeling even if you didn’t say it. He sighs,
“I wish there was something I could do for you darling.” He mutters into your hair, kissing your temple. His head continues to throb in thought, eyes darting back and forth as he tries to come up with an answer good enough for you. And then it hits him. He sits up, standing after a moment to drop to his knees at your feet, 
"Baby, babe, I have an idea." He starts, tugging your hand from your face and holding both of yours in both of his, "Darling, hear me out. You and I have been looking forward to this wedding for months, almost a year. So, what if we go through with it and set up a little wedding ceremony in the back yard, just us and the boys and just fuckin do it still? What do you think?" He asks. You stare down at him, watching his eyes swirl in worry and hurt at the sight of you, his thumbs coming up to collect the tears from under your own eyes, 
"I think it could be cool. We could- I-I mean you have your dress and I have more fucking tuxes than I know what to do with. I could- that florist we were using is doing curbside pickup and we paid for the order, I could go pick up just your bouquet and we could set up some chairs in the backyard-"
"Tom, someone would have to ordain it."
"Says who? We just have a little ceremony, wear our rings and when the world is normal-ish again, we go out and get married for real, reception and all with our families and we can... cure your little depression." He tries to lighten,
"We can just... wait until like August or something." You try and brush off. Tom quickly shakes his head, 
"Fuck that. You wanted a Spring wedding with all the pastels. We're not settling for an anniversary in August when we were excited for March or April. If we're doing it, we're doing it now or we're doing it next Spring and I've waited long enough to make you my wife. I don't want to wait another year." He reasons. After a moment, he purses his lips, 
"I wonder..." He trails off, standing from his knees and starting out of the room. You throw your arms up, Tessa taking his place on the bed behind you, tail shuffling the bedding as she laps at your cheeks and you squeal. 
Tom hurries down the hall and into the living room where the boys are playing Call of Duty, just like he left them. He presses the button on the TV to turn it off and gain the full, undivided attention of the now irritated, chattering boys. Tom waves his hands in the air to quiet the group, 
"I'll turn it back on in a minute, I need to ask a favor of you guys." He yells over them. They quiet then, watching Tom lick his lips, 
"I need... h-have any of you thought of getting ordained as a minister?" He asks. All three pairs of eyebrows furrow, the boys looking between themselves before Harry looks back up at his brother, one eyebrow raised, 
"Fucking what?" Harry asks. Harrison snickers before Tom rolls his eyes, 
"I was thinking Y/N and I could have a wedding ceremony in the backyard but we need someone to officiate for it to actually mean anything. That's what she's most upset about. I just... I was wondering if one of you guys could do it." He elaborates, suddenly feeling small, stupid. The room is silent for a moment before Tuwaine tsks, 
"Fuck it, I'll do it. It'll give me something to do in this damn house." He speaks up with a shrug, Tom's heart feeling a little more free now that Tuwaine has agreed. Tom thanks him, watching his friend nod, 
"How long do you think it'll take?" Tuwaine shrugs again, 
"Think it's like two weeks." Tom nods and turns the TV back on before turning and starting back down the hall. He slams his door behind him, finding the desk calendar that has had big red X's across it for weeks now. He tosses it on the bed before your newly laid down figure, 
"Pick a new wedding date two weeks from now. Any date you want." He says, chocolate colored eyes sparkling up at you in so much intent. You sigh, rubbing your thumb across Tessa's paw as you raise to an elbow and look over the calendar. It takes you a moment, but you point to the 11th of April. Tom finds a marker on your desk and adds the text, "New Wedding" before he returns the calendar to the spot in front of you,
"Tuwaine has agreed to get ordained and... we can get married the eleventh in the backyard. I'll pick up your bouquet and I can... go get a cake from the store and we'll just have a little wedding here. It'll be small and... maybe not as pretty as the wedding we spent all that time planning, but it's ours and that's what matters." He reasons. You nod, staring down at the grey puppy laid before you. He stands, leaning over your body to kiss your forehead, 
"I'll do the best I can to make you happy with this. I know it isn't ideal but... I think it'll be beautiful babe." You nod, glancing up at him. He smiles, 
"I'm excited to see you in your dress baby. I love you and I just know you'll be gorgeous." He says, kissing your lips softly. You nod, petting Tessa and feeling the tightening in your chest let up, the excitement growing inside your belly like it did the first time you planned a wedding, 
"Yeah. I think it'll be nice to... just actually be able to say we're married and have that strength during this... really fucked up time." You confirm. He nods, 
"I'd love to have Mrs. Holland runnin around here the rest of quarantine. We didn't think this whole lockdown thing would happen and I like the idea of going through with our wedding in it. A big fuck you to the world." You admit. He hums, staring down at you before he smiles and stands again, 
"Lets fuck around and get married then yeah?" You can't fight the smile as he takes your hands. You squeal as he pulls you up into his arms, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he kisses your cheek, 
"You know that if I could choose one thing to do outside of quarantine it would be to marry your fine ass. That hasn't changed and I don't think that this fucking shit should take over. We still have that love for each other and I think we should still go through with it around the time we said we were going through with it." Tom explains. You nod as he rubs your arms, 
"Me too. I think it's a really good idea." He smiles and nods, 
"And the best thing is that... bullshit thing you'd said about spending all that money on that dress for a one time wear will go out that window because I'll pay for another big ass wedding when we can have one." Tom reassures. You nod, laying your head against his shoulder as he sways you. He holds you close, eyes closing in peace now that he knows he can at least give you somewhat of that fairytale wedding you planned. 
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Neither you or Tom could deny that the excitement of your backyard wedding was getting overwhelming just as the idea of your actual wedding had. Tom had added a few more people to your guest list to include his parents, Paddy, Sam, and Elysia and your parents were set up to facetime you and watch you marry your fiancé from a different country. In that time, Tuwaine had acquired his officiant license and had printed off a marriage certificate to ensure your legal anniversary was April 11th. You had helped pick out a tux to wear and reached an agreement with Harrison that Tom would use his room to get ready so you could maintain the secrecy of your dress, hair, and makeup. The last of Tom's endeavors was picking up the colorful bouquet from the florist, handing it to his mother who followed Elysia towards your bedroom to help with hair and makeup. The last of your priorities was discussing your want for his father to walk you down the aisle for the full feel, the group setting up an arch Tom's parents already had in the backyard of their own to give the pictures Harry agreed to take, a better look. The only thing agreed upon when it came to picture taking was it remained strictly after the ceremony, the both of you wanting everyone to enjoy the ambiance and not worry about what jobs they're supposed to be doing. 
Sam, Paddy, Tuwaine, Tom, Harry, Harrison, and Dom had spent the time setting chairs up, decorating the arch in things you'd already bought for the wedding, each man doing their fair share of trying to calm Tom of his nerves but nearly to no avail. By four o'clock, he's standing before the arch with Tuwaine who continues to try and calm him. Nikki and Elysia exit the back door, Tom's eyes drawn to the inside of your house. Once he sees movement, his heart skips a beat and you, in all of your beauty, emerge, arm looped in Dom's as he escorts you towards his son and your future husband. You smile when you catch his eye, gripping your bouquet tight in your hand. Dom pauses, snapping to relinquish Tessa, basket handle held in her mouth which contains your rings. Each of the family members laugh, including Tom who crouches and greets the puppy in the pinkish white dress he'd bought her a few years ago. He has her sit as Harry, having already connected his phone to your Bluetooth speaker, begins to play "Canon In D" and the rest of the group stands to welcome you out,
"Deep breath. Last thing I need is you passing out before I get you there." Dom jokes as you begin walking, ivory heels sinking into the grass beneath your feet, something you hadn't planned on dealing with when it came to your originally planned wedding. You smile up at him, holding his bicep tighter and taking breaths to calm your pounding heart. Nikki catches your eye, iPad with your parents smiling widely from their living room back home in hand. Her smile matches, the same as Sam, Paddy, Elysia, Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine as Tom stares you down. The image of him is seared into your brain, tears in his eyes and it's everything you've imagined it'd be, of course under different circumstances. Dom pauses just before Tom, you fiancé stepping forward to take your hand from his father,
"Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?" Tuwaine asks, Tom and Dom meeting eyes before his father speaks, 
"I do." Dom says, leaning in to kiss your cheek and pat Tom on the shoulder before he takes your bouquet and joins Nikki. Tom helps you stand across from him, finally on cement again,
"You look beautiful darling." He mutters, 
"Thank you. You cleaned up nice yourself." You reply. Tuwaine clears his throat as Tom rubs his thumbs across your knuckles, 
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Thomas Stanley Holland and Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N in marriage. Not only have all of us witnessed the love and dedication the two have for each other, but we shall all feel privileged knowing they chose us to witness the matrimony these two shall embark on. We have watched both grow and thrive and mature in the company of each other and now we are blessed to watch them grow further as husband and wife, as one entity." You smile at Tom who takes a deep breath at Tuwaine's introduction. Tuwaine pauses for a moment before he begins again, with the readings, 
"You each chose a quote. So Y/N chose, from Maya Angelou, 'Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps, hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.' Tom, you chose, from George Eliot, 'What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?'" Both quotes had been made for you it seemed. There were so many things within the relationship that proved to be a hurdle for the both of you. Tom obviously traveled a lot with his job, and you had to deal with the distance for long periods of time, both as his girlfriend and fiancée. The facetime calls killed you and your heart hurt daily until you were with him again. And when you were, it was freeing. No matter how long you'd been apart, Tom always came back and you were always together and back to being in love like he never left,
"Now, you both have prepared vows. We'll do those now," Tuwaine remarks and Sam stands to hand both folded papers over, "Y/N, read yours first." You unfold the paper, heart pounding at the vows you'd prepared months in advance and had recently edited to fit the current circumstances. You clear your throat, 
"Tom, my love, my light. You have always been my rock at both my best and my worst, through everything. You have always pushed me to be the best version of myself that I could be and you've always been the most wise and selfless person in my life. My love for you is immeasurable and I have never been able to imagine my life without you and your happy, carefree, charisma, spunk in my life. I've been infatuated and in love with you for years and I've always known, for as long as I can remember, that I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, just the two of us being in love. As my husband, I promise to stay the same crazy person you agreed to date all those years ago. I promise to continue to annoy the hell out of you, cling to you in the morning when you try and get up, stick my cold feet and hands on your bare skin, and ruin your tea every once in a while, sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident," Tom laughs, sniffling back his tears, "but more than anything, as your wife I promise to always be your quarantine buddy and I promise to always love you unconditionally and make you as happy as I can and at least pretend to love the same things you do just to listen to you ramble in the adorable way you always do." You finish, reaching up to dab the tears away. Tom's laughter dies down and he clears his own tears away, the rest of the group doing the same as you fold the paper back up. Tom smiles, staring down at you with such adoration in his eyes. Tuwaine allows a brief pause before turning to his friend,
"Now Tom, will you please read your vows to Y/N?" The brunette nods, unfolding his own sheet of notebook paper and clearing his throat, 
"I don't know that mine are that good but uhm... I tried." He mutters, laughing along with you and the family. He purses his lips for a moment before clearing his throat again, licking his lips and his eyebrows knit together for a moment, 
"Y/N, the love of my life, my biggest supporter, and my confidante, I have never loved anyone more than I have loved you and I have never been loved by someone like you. My biggest regret will always be not giving you the wedding you so obviously deserve even though I've promised to throw you the biggest reception ever once the world starts spinning again," you giggle, clearing your tears again, "you have always stuck with me, through thick and thin, through terrible time differences and long months apart only to welcome me back like we've just paused time. You're compassionate, beautiful, funny, and so silly and I have never had a dull moment with you and I know I never will. My promise to you, as your husband, is that I'll never make life boring. I'll always be your rock, I'll always give your life meaning the way you've done for me, and I'll always make sure you know how loved you are. No matter how many times we fight and how stupid those fights are. And no matter what, there is no one I would rather marry during quarantine than you. I would do anything for you, both before and even more so after quarantine and making you happy in any way I can is what I'll always do. I love you." He finishes, sniffling and folding his vows back up to tuck in his inside pocket,
"I love you too." You whisper as he takes your hands again. There isn't a dry eye in the house, not even Tuwaine who, from the beginning has watched and listened to one of his best friends fall in love with you and now he has the privilege of watching it come to fruition. He was given the privilege of marrying the two of you in an equally as beautiful as your original, backyard wedding. He sniffles himself before looking down at the pages he holds, 
"Alright, now the exchange of rings. Tom, please find Y/N's ring and put it on her as you say the following phrase." Tom nods, kneeling to fish the beautiful diamond ring he’d proposed to you with, from Tessa's basket, patting her head before he stands and looks at the paper in Tuwaine’s hands, clearing his throat again. He takes your hand again, staring up into your eyes as he starts,
“Y/N, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love." He repeats the phrase from the paper, glancing up into your eyes again as he slides the ring all the way onto your finger, licking his lips. Tuwaine allows another pause before he turns to look at you, 
“And now Y/N, the same.” He commands, waiting until you retrieve Tom’s ring to hold the page out to you,
“Tom, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love.” You relay to the man across from you, a smile crossing his features. He knows what follows and it’s surreal knowing that it’s happening. He’s marrying you, the love of his life, in his garden and life can’t get much better. Tuwaine turns his page,
“Now, by the power vested in me, you may kiss your bride.” He directs Tom’s way. His dark brown eyes meet yours before he steps forward, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other reaching up to caress your cheek before he leans in to kiss you, your own arms looping under his. The crowd around you claps as Tom kisses you, leaning you back just the smallest bit before he leans back himself, pressing his forehead to yours and smiling, kissing you once more before he stands back and glances up at Tuwaine, smiling down at the two of you,
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Stanley and Y/N Y/M/N Holland.” Tuwaine hollers as both sets of parents, Tom’s siblings, Tom’s best friend and Elysia all cheer and Tom thrusts your hand, wrapped in his, up in victory. He glances over at you, smile wide across his face as he leans in one last time to kiss you and Harry plays the song you set to walk back down the aisle to, Tom leading you with your hand in his back inside the house. Once inside, he squeals, pulling you in,
“You do realize we just got married right? Like… you’re Mrs. Holland now. As you should have been two weekends ago.” Tom reminds. You giggle and nod, glancing down at the ring on your finger,
“Yes I do. I love you more than anything.” You tell Tom who holds your waist as you lean in for yet another kiss, your family entering the back doors. Each of them beeline to congratulate you, each of them dishing out hugs and kisses, the girls asking to see the ring on your finger. You take the iPad from Nikki's hands, greeting your parents and showing them the wedding ring on your finger. They ask for Tom who presses a hand to your lower back, greeting them cheerfully and thanking them as they dish out congratulatories, 
"Right," Tuwaine's voice booms out over the chatter. He looks between you and Tom, holding up a piece of paper, "Pardon the interruption, but I need bride, groom, and two witnesses to make it official, official." He remarks. Tom wraps his arm around your waist as you hand Nikki back the iPad, 
"So... who do you reckon is lucky enough to be our official witnesses?" He whispers in your ear. You sigh, 
"I dunno. Uhm... your mom and... your best friend?" You pose quietly as to not offend anyone. He smiles and reaches out to fluff your hair with a smile, 
"I think that's a good idea," he turns to the group, "mum, Haz... will you guys... be our witnesses?" Tom asks. You see the devotion, the adoration and respect in Harrison's bright blue eyes as a smirk tugs at one corner of his mouth. He nods, 
"I'd be honored." He mutters, Nikki reaching out to rub your arm once she's handed the iPad to Dom, 
"Me too." She smiles wider as you and Tom follow Tuwaine to the dining room table, watching him lean in to sign the marriage certificate,
"First the officiant signs it, and then the two witnesses." He explains, handing the pen to Nikki. She smiles as she leans in and signs the paper, passing the pen to Harrison all while Harry is snapping photos. He snaps at you and Tom, 
"Lets get some pics of just you two outside with the arch." He says. You nod, taking Tom's hand and following the two boys outside and up to the arch, Tom's arm wrapping around your waist again. He sighs, 
"Nice day for a wedding, ay darling?" He jokes. You giggle and nod, leaning up to kiss him softly as Harry's camera clicks, your eyes darting between Tom's, 
"It's the perfect day for a wedding cutie." 
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You watch through the back door as the boys play the same game they'd been obsessed with for months. You roll Tom's fingers in your own, tucking the blanket under your chin further. Tom sighs beside you, pressing his lips into your hair, 
"Darling?" You hum an answer, glancing up at your husband when he doesn't respond. His dark eyes find yours after another moment, 
"Are you happy?" He asks. Your eyebrows furrow, 
"What do you mean T?" He shrugs, threading his fingers through yours while you're preoccupied,
"I just mean... two months ago we watched this virus roll in and we never thought it would get this bad to the point we'd be spending every waking moment in this house with three other men and that it'd result in a wedding we were so excited to plan and see through and it wasn't... exactly what we planned, but, I dunno, I just mean, are you happy with what we had here today?" He elaborates, glancing back up at the stars that sparkle above you both from the place in your hammock. You linger in the silence for another moment before you shift to place your hand over Tom's beating heart, 
"Do you remember... that Jared commercial we saw the other night?" You ask. His eyes half roll as he thinks, teeth chewing the inside of his cheek and then he nods, 
"Yeah, the one with the virtual weddings?" He asks. You nod, 
"Do you remember what it said and how you nudged me to get the point of it all?" You pose. He nods,
"Yeah." You nod once more, 
"You did it because the point of that commercial is that it doesn't matter about the dress, or the cake, or the guest list or how formal everything is. What matters is the love the two people getting married have for each other, especially during trying times like now." You remind him. He smiles, playing with your hair, 
"Right." You rub his chest,
"Whether I married you today in our back yard with all of the things we have from our wedding or I marry you in August back in our venue with new stuff doesn't matter because it isn't the date that matters, it's you and me and how we show we love each other." His smile is bright as he squeezes your fingers between his. You sigh, 
"I could have married you in that dress in there with fifty people and a cake and a vibrant bouquet and all that in April or I could have married you in a trash bag in the middle of August with dead flowers and it would not have changed my love for you Tom." You reassure. He reaches out with his opposite hand to tuck hair behind your ear, 
"So you're happy?" He reiterates. You giggle, nodding and situating yourself to rest your head further up Tom's shoulder,
"Extremely. And always with you." He leans in to kiss you softly, 
"Me too love. My vows were 100% from my heart. I've never loved anyone like you and I would do whatever it takes to make sure you understand that." 
"I do. Mine were honest too. No matter what the problem, no matter how tired you are, you've always been there for me. I have never, ever been more in love with someone and I don't wanna know anything else. Of course... I've been down because I'm in a house with four guys and I don't get to have my fairytale wedding and honestly, we'd be looking for our own place, just the two of us but... I loved today. Our family and friends, my dress, my bouquet, my beautiful fiancè. I'm more than happy Tom." You explain to him. He strokes your hair down, leaning in to kiss you once more, 
"I love you more than anything Y/N." He says softly. You smile, reaching up to rub your thumb across his cheek,
"I love you too Tom," you hold your hand up, brandishing the wedding ring on your finger, "for life now. I've got you." You tell him. He chuckles, 
"Forever and always love. Now when we... get back to the world we'll get our own place, I promise, and... soon enough, we'll be tryin for some beautiful babies." 
"Slow your roll Holland, we gotta get outta this damn house first. And having a kid isn't our first priority once we do get our place." You jokingly scold. Tom chuckles, smile fading after a moment and he frowns,
"We aren't... going to wait til we move out to consummate our marriage are we?" He poses. You giggle, 
"I hadn't planned on it, no." 
"Oh thank god." He mutters, the both of you relaxing against each other, staring up at the stars for a moment longer. He sighs, fingers nonchalantly rubbing up and down your arm. He hums before pressing his lips into your hair again, 
"Happy anniversary love." He mutters. You glance up at him again, smile widening, 
"About damn time Mr. Holland." He chuckles again, 
"And now, every April 11th, for the rest of our lives, we'll be reminded of the day we got married in our backyard." He says. You lay your head against his shoulder, 
"I wouldn't have it any other way." You admit. His lips press to your forehead, 
"Me neither darling, me neither." He mumbles, wrapping his arm tight around you. And the uncertainty you had felt weeks ago when your wedding was forced to be cancelled, was gone now that you were in the arms of Tom. Not only your rock, but your husband. Now and always.
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mist-over-water · 2 years
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2021: My Year in Review.
By all accounts, 2021 should have been the best year of my life, it has been a year I’ve been excited for since 2018. However, as is often the case with my life, the reality couldn’t have been further from expectations.
January.
After being engaged since August 2018, we were excited to finally be in our wedding year… Except we were still in lockdown, and at this point we had no idea what was going to happen with our wedding, or if we would even end the year as a married couple. We began the year playing lots of Call of Duty with Sam’s friends, trying to make light out of a quite crappy situation.
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February.
We had planned to go to Centre Parcs to celebrate our last Valentines Day before we - possibly - got married, however due to the pandemic, it had been cancelled. It was a good thing, too, as it snowed quite badly on the day we would have been due to go home. Our car got snowed into the lay-by we park it in, and I got nearly a week off work playing in the snow with Sam and the dog! This was also the month that saw me getting my first Covid vaccine, i nearly cried, thinking that we would be returning to some form of normality soon! Boris Johnson also revealed his plan for the roadmap out of lockdown, and for the first time in about year I was able to get excited for planning the wedding, but then I remembered… We actually had a wedding to plan.
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March.
We began serious wedding planning, putting basically two years of wedding planning into six months, which meant organising all of our meetings with suppliers for when lockdown was over, as well as buying all the little bits we needed for the wedding, we knew we had enough time, but it still felt like a fight against the clock as Sam had just entered his busy period at work, and I would begin mine when his ended, we wondered if we would actually see each other before the wedding day. Even with the roadmap out of lockdown, we decided to cut down our guest list by nearly half and only invite our closest friends and family, something I had wanted from the start! I had been given more responsibility at work, and decided I would like to take a possible career in Premier Inn seriously, and so took on more responsibility and began learning as much as I could!
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April.
Our invites finally went out, and it all became suddenly real! Within a week of them being sent, I think we had something like 5 back, all saying yes! I was so excited waiting for the postman everyday, seeing if he had any small orange envelopes for us! I also got to see two of my nieces for the first time since September this month, Deanna and Millie, we went to Felixstowe beach, where it was way too cold, but it was still lovely getting to see my family again, and just spending days messing about on the beach. I also got to pick up my dress, which felt amazing to finally be wearing the dress that I would be wearing the day I became a wife! It was too big and too long, but I still felt like a princess. It also was the beginning of having meetings with wedding suppliers every weekend, and I began wondering if I would ever get free time again.
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May.
This month saw me getting my second vaccine! As we got closer to the end of lockdown, this made me much more confident in basically integrating back into normal society without worrying about getting too sick myself. I also finally got to see Ellie, Layla, and Imogen (my three other nieces) for the first time since September, we had so much to catch up on, and it made me remember everything I love about being an auntie. More wedding meetings though, was a downside, though we had begun to choose and finalise certain options.
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June.
After spending years trying to find the perfect dress for my flower girl, Millie, I finally admitted defeat and admitted that I needed to take her to a bridal shop to try on dresses, so me, her, my mum and Sam all piled into a car and went to Norwich in order to try on dresses, and I was terrified that she would act up. But she loved trying on the pretty dresses, and knew that she was the most beautiful girl in the shop that day, and we found her the most perfect dress! Unfortunately this month was also the month I got a call from my Auntie Dawn, my mums best friends who basically raised my brother and I when my mum and dad were working, to say that she had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer, and that she did not have a prognosis yet. We spent two weeks with her while she wrapped her head around the news, just keeping her busy and talking about what she wanted for her limited future, and talking about the past. It was nice, in a weird way.
July.
One rainy Saturday morning, Sam and I made our way to Walton-on-the-Naze for our engagement shoot, and to finally meet out wedding photographers, as someone who is usually behind the camera, I found it nerve wracking being photographed, but it was so much fine, and the photos came out great, I just haven’t shared a lot of them online! I also got to see my best friend for the first time since 2019, which was amazing to talk about our future plans, and she was the first person that Sam and I told about our future plans, particularly to start a family. Unfortunately, the following weekend, I was laying in bed, and began having a panic attack out of nowhere, when I got the phone call to say that my dad had passed away. I honestly thought my step mum was playing a sick joke on me, but unfortunately it was true. For the first time in years, my family came together to help each other through such a sudden and traumatic loss, when he had just been to a doctor a few weeks before who had told him his heart was fine. I also went and saw his body despite the warnings from his wife and the funeral directors, which I’m glad I did. It was still my dad laying there.
When I got back to work, my manager was on holiday, and I had to deal with a crisis in the hotel. Speaking the manager of the adjoining restaurant, he offered me a team leader job at the restaurant, I told them I would think about it, it wanting to make any big choices. I really wanted my dads advice then.
August.
My dads funeral was at the beginning of August. I told Sam I would wear makeup to the event, to stop myself from crying, and it did not work. As soon as Sam told me that the hearse was arriving, I could not stop crying. Sam held me through it all, as I was overwhelmed with the amount of people who had come to see my dad off. I’ve been to a few funerals at this crematorium, but I’d never seen it so packed. People standing at the back, all the seats filled. I felt all eyes on me as I walked behind the coffin crying my eyes out, and a lot of people came and gave me their condolences. We went to a pub near where he lived for the wake, where we shared stories about my dad and roasted his irritable bowels!
Unfortunately, with the wedding so close, we didn’t get a chance to relax. The weekend after I had to lay my dad to rest, mum and I went to outside of London for my first dress fitting. As I was slipping into undoubtably the worst mental health relapse I’d ever experienced, I found myself so unexcited, as I stood there with my mum and seamstress saying how beautiful I looked, I couldn’t even get a smile.
The weekend after that was Sam’s suit fitting with his groomsmen and his parents. Again, through all the excitement everyone was experiencing, it felt painfully obvious that my recent loss was the elephant in the room and people weren’t sure how to approach it. But Sam looked so handsome in his suit, it made me excited to see him suited and booted on the big day.
The weekend after that was my birthday, and unofficial hen do, where my mum, brother and his girlfriend and all five of my nieces went to the zoo to celebrate both occasions! We all dressed up with bridesmaids things, and I got to wear bride things, and it was so much fun. Some things spoilt it, but what can you do. It was still a fun way to get all my bridesmaids involved, and I hope they enjoyed it.
The weekend after that, Sam and I celebrated our fifth anniversary, on the correct day. Our entire relationship, we were convinced our first date was on the 28th, but looking back on our old conversations, it was always the 27th (he didn’t actually ask me to be his girlfriend until 4th of September, so extra awkward). We had a roast and a few drinks by the sea, after going to the zoo just the two of us. It was so nice to know that the next time we celebrated our first date, we would be a married couple.
September.
We began our final meetings with suppliers, and sending off paperwork to finalise things with suppliers further afield. This included awkward conversations around the fact my dad had passed away and to disregard anything about him we had planned. We also found out this month that our DJ had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, but he would still do our wedding, even though we offered to find a new one so he could focus on getting better.
We had our hag weekend this month, too. We went to Colchester first, and spent the evening around the hotel pub playing Cards Against Humanity, before driving up to Norwich the next day and going ace throwing at Boom Battle Bar, the groom and groomsmen also played mini golf, we all played a few games, before going to a few pubs in the town centre, then headed back to the hotel for drinks, Cards Against Humanity. Poor Sam, my anxiety was through the roof that weekend, but he helped me through it.
We also got a new hotel manager this month, who convinced me not to leave the hotel to go to the pub, saying a manager position would open up soon in one of her other hotels, where I could work the restaurant and hotel, I would just have to be patient. I agreed to wait, and told her my long term plans for staying at Premier Inn. She got a plan in action, for me to start my training.
We also got the prognosis for Dawns cancer, they estimated two years with treatment, or without it, she would die before Christmas. This broke my heart, but she said she would try her best to get to see me get married.
October.
WE GOT MARRIED AND WENT ON HONEYMOON! More in depth posts about them both to come soon, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Things went wrong, but it was still an amazing month.
November.
I got hit badly with wedding and holiday blues, but I threw myself into work. Training in the new site, ready to transfer, training up my replacements, doing all the overtime I could be given. But I finally got confirmation that I would transfer with a promotion in January!
Unfortunately, after we got back from Madeira, our big doofus of a dog began growling and barking at us, even going to bite Sam’s dad, so we had to make the unfortunate decision to have him put down. Unfortunately we weren’t there to say goodbye, but that in itself is another story. Indy was like a therapy dog to me, he had stopped me self-harming so many times, and he knew just how to bring me down from anxiety and depression, it was hard to go through these things without him.
We did finally get to go to London Film and Comic Con this month, after booking the tickets in 2019! Sam, his best friend and I went to London and had a great weekend, although again my anxiety got the better of me. I did get to meet Nick Frost, when we asked for a picture of me being hugged by Sam and himself, he said, “Ah, a marmalade sandwich.” And I honestly couldn’t stop blushing and laughing. I spent so much money, but it was so worth it!
December.
I knew this month was going to be hard for me. But I think I under estimated just how hard. After some issues surrounding living with Sam’s parents, we began toying with the idea of renting a place of our own, we viewed a place that I loved, but Sam was a bit hesitant on renting. This made us argue, and I walked away from Sam without him knowing. He found me at a train station, where I knew a non stop service would go through, and I was adamant on taking my own life. Luckily, Sam found me just before the train was going to be passing through. He took me to Ipswich to see my mum to see if she could do anything, but after arguing with the two of them, trying to take my life again, and self-harming, it resulted in the police and ambulance being called, and me being taken to A&E to see the crisis team. I saw some people from psych, and they confirmed some suspicions I’d had for years, that I may suffer with borderline personality disorder. They put me in touch with some places to help me, and I’m waiting to start the appointments to get a diagnosis and to start treatment.
We also made the unfortunate decision to get rid of our lovely 2002 Nissan Micra, Moss. And replace him with a 2013 Nissan Micra, Evie. She’s amazing, and it feels nice to have a more modern car, one that is going to be more reliable in the long run!
We also got some terrible news this month. Dawn had been discharged from hospice car, but in the same day she got taken to hospital, where she was given 3 days to live, however that was over two weeks ago. Every time my phone goes off my heart sinks that I’m going to get more terrible news.
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Alex Recommends: July Books
I hope you’ve all enjoyed a little more freedom over the last couple of weeks. Who knows how long this relaxation of lockdown rules will last but I, for one, am determined to make the most of the summer!
Mark and I are currently at the start of our hectic summer darting all over the country seeing people we love. He is now finally back in rehearsals for a production of Made In Dagenham, which opens in Stafford in October (fingers crossed!), so we’re fitting our summer in around that. 
Last weekend, we spent some time with some of my favourite people in Norfolk, strolling along the beach at Wells-next-the-Sea, walking dogs and exploring little villages. We were pretty lucky with the weather too. It wasn’t glorious sunshine but the rain held off and we could spend most of the time outside, which was lovely. 
I am trying to secure myself a more permanent, stable job because we would really like to buy a house together soon. We’ve seen some lovely, not completely extortionate, places online recently and I know I wouldn’t have to earn a huge amount for us to be able to afford them. Therefore, I am simply looking for a job that I know I would enjoy that pays a non-exploitative regular salary. You’d think that wouldn’t be too difficult to find but you’d be surprised! However, I am hopeful right now and I can only hope (yet again) that this drive to go for my dreams continues. 
I’ve read a lot of books this month. If you follow my blog regularly enough, you’ll have noticed that I posted a lot of reviews in July. I plan to do the same in August, despite my frequent travelling, so look out for my thoughts on some more recent releases. I have five more amazing July releases to share with you here. This was an incredible reading month for me and I can’t rave about these five books enough. I laughed, I cried, I gasped, I fell in love, I found comfort, I felt transported, I felt grounded -what more could you want?!
Hope you’re having a lovely summer so far and I know you’ll find something here to accompany you!
-Love, Alex x
FICTION: The Black Dress by Deborah Moggach.
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When Pru finds herself alone at the age of almost 70, she is at a bit of a loss as to what to do. She misses the life she had with her husband and craves the love of a good man again. After noticing a little black dress in the window of a charity shop, she thinks it will be perfect for an upcoming funeral. Only she realises mid-way through the ceremony that this isn’t the funeral she was supposed to attend. Yet no one is questioning her identity and in fact, everyone is very welcoming of her. So, she sees no problem in going to another one because well, why not? This is a wonderful story about healing and forgiveness. There were some big twists littered throughout the narrative that I certainly didn’t see coming as well as plenty of humour. The end of the book lands us in very recent history and I think it’s the first time I’ve read such a realistic account of the UK in lockdown. Ultimately, The Black Dress is a celebration of finding love in later life, letting go of the past and the undeniable passion that can be found in long-term friendships.
NON-FICTION: The Comfort Book by Matt Haig.
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Over the years, Matt Haig wrote himself notes that contained random thoughts and stories he came across, in order to inspire hope in his future self. These notes were intended to get him through the darkest times. As we tentatively emerge from the devastation of a global pandemic, Matt has published these notes and given them to us. This book is about finding comfort in the simple things in life and using the joy and hope that this gives us to reconnect with the world and each other. It comprises of a combination of Matt’s personal experiences, philosophy, poetry and history to celebrate the wonders of humanity. It includes stories from people who I hadn’t heard of but who have done amazing things. I really appreciated reading and being inspired by their achievements and yet it also made me feel that it’s ok to just be a good person and live my life well. The Comfort Book is an absolute must read if you’re looking for something to lift you up when it really feels like hope has completely gone.
MIDDLE-GRADE: The House On The Edge by Alex Cotter.
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Faith and her brother Noah live with their mother in The Lookout, a house balancing precariously on the edge of a cliff with centuries of history behind it. Their father has disappeared but Faith is sure that he’ll be back soon. Noah has become obsessed with ‘sea ghosts’ in the basement but Faith knows that they don’t exist. However, there is a large crack in the cliff, which seems to be getting bigger every day and then Noah disappears too. This is a wonderful middle-grade mystery about exploring and honouring family history. Faith is a very likeable, mature character with plenty of fire and determination to get to the bottom of things. She finds friendship in the most unlikely places too and despite the story being tinged with tragedy, there is so much heart and hope in it too.
ROMANCE: The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller.
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Every summer since she was a child, Elle and her family have visited The Paper Palace in the glorious setting of Cape Cod. Although she is a happily married mother of three in her fifties, last night Elle had sex with her oldest friend Jonas wihle their spouses were just the other side of the wall. Now, Elle needs to decide which path the rest of her life will take. This might be the best example of how to write a love triangle I’ve ever read. The characters are very real, flawed humans and I fully believed in them as real people. There is some truly stunning, immersive descriptions of Cape Cod that truly take you there. I could see the cabin reflections shimmering on the water, the sounds of the birds and raccoons in the forest, the smells of barbecues and the warmth of the sun on my skin. It’s also incredibly clever how The Paper Palace’s physical fragility yet resilience reflects Elle and Jonas’ relationship perfectly. It’s a heartbreaking, gritty read as we travel back through Elle’s life and witness abuse, crimes and grief but it’s a fantastic, intoxicating read that sweeps you up and holds you inside this devastating love story.
THRILLER: That Night by Gillian McAllister.
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While enjoying a holiday together in Verona, siblings Joe and Cathy Plant each get a phone call from their younger sister Frannie. Frannie has accidentally hit a man with the hire car and she needs help. On arriving at the scene of the crime, it’s immediately apparent that the man is dead and that the body must be buried. The Plant siblings have always been close but just how far will they each go to protect their deadly secret? This is a very tense plot and it runs a very good pace. The premise in itself is quite unique and I was constantly waiting for the truth to catch up to them yet they kept seemingly managing to swerve it. It’s about the fierce loyalty between siblings with a very satisfying ending that was simply delicious.
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tinyshe · 3 years
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The global COVID response is simply the exercise of absolute power instead of science For bureaucrats and politicians, gaining power and compelling submission are victory enough, even when their policies fail to vanquish a virus.
Tue Aug 31, 2021 - 2:03 pm EDT  
(American Institute for Economic Research) – Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, lockdown champions have perennially invoked “science and data” to sanctify any mandate politicians impose. Hard facts have recently shown that neither vaccines nor face masks provide surefire protection against the virus. But no amount of evidence has yet shaken faith in the magic of absolute power.
COVID policies are increasingly degenerating to the equivalent of sacrificing virgins to appease angry viral gods. New Zealand on August 24 imposed a nationwide lockdown in response to a single COVID case in the capital city. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern ordered her captive citizenry: “Do not congregate, don’t talk to your neighbors. Please keep to your bubble.” Arden asserted that “complying with these rules, making sure we do all we can to stamp it out, still remains the best strategy in the world right now.” Ardern did not deign to explain why almost no place else in the world, including places with vastly more COVID cases, sought to outlaw everyday conversations.
In Australia, the military is patrolling city streets to enforce the latest lockdown. Daniel Andrews, the Premier of the state of Victoria, recently decreed: “There will be no removal of masks to consume alcohol outdoors.” One Aussie lamented, “My business has been forcibly closed. Everyone has been sent home without pay. We are banned from leaving our homes except for the 5 reasons given by the Government.”
There is no “science” to justify prohibiting Australians from going more than 2 miles from their home. But New Zealand and Australia presume that no one will be safe unless government officials have jurisdiction over every breath that citizens take.
In the United States, many of the same pundits and activists who howled about the evils of “microaggressions” are now cheering for the government to forcibly inject everyone with a COVID vaccine. Biden publicly declared that he is checking to see if he has the power to force everyone to get injected.
Biden endorsed the vaccination passports that some cities have already imposed. Radio host Grant Stinchfield commented, in Los Angeles “you can [defecate] on the street, shoot drugs in crack tent on the sidewalk and even steal anything less then (sic) 900 bucks but now you have to show papers to get in a restaurant or gym!?!?” New York City’s passport regime effectively bans the majority of blacks from many activities of daily life, since they have a much lower vaccination rate than other groups.
Far greater restrictions may be on the horizon. The Associated Press reported that the Biden administration is considering “mandating vaccines for interstate travel” but is delaying any such decree until “Americans were ready for the strong-arming from the federal government.” A top former Homeland Security official has called for placing anyone who is not fully vaccinated on the No Fly list, thereby expanding the list to scores of millions of people and creating new havoc for air travel. Biden administration officials have offered no evidence that such restrictions would end the pandemic but it would permit the president to demonstrate the same machismo that President Nixon showed with his illegal invasion of Cambodia in 1970.
Politicians’ anti-COVID recommendations increasingly resemble frightened soldiers shooting at any noise they hear in the dark. NIH Director Francis Collins recently condemned the “epidemic of misinformation, disinformation, distrust that is tearing us apart.” But much of the misinformation has stemmed directly from the Biden administration’s flip-flops and fearmongering. On August 3, Collins announced during a CNN interview that “parents of unvaccinated kids should… wear masks” in their own homes. He conceded: “I know that’s uncomfortable, I know it seems weird, but it is the best way to protect your kids.” A few hours later, Collins recanted on Twitter, perhaps after other political appointees persuaded him to stop sounding like a blithering idiot.
COVID misinformation started at the top. In a CNN Town Hall last month, Biden declared, “You’re not going to get COVID if you have these vaccinations.” Biden administration officials kept reciting the “pandemic of the unvaccinated” refrain long after it became clear that vaccines were rapidly failing to prevent the spread of COVID. On August 8, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky finally admitted: “What [COVID vaccines] can’t do any more is prevent transmission.” Helluva asterisk. Prior to that, the Biden administration even refused to disclose the number of “breakthrough” infections that had occurred among White House staff. Prof. Eric Topol complained that the CDC’s false statements on COVID risks was a “blatant failure putting millions of vaccinated Americans at unnecessary risk for breakthrough infections.”
On Thursday, a front page Washington Post article castigated the CDC for withholding COVID information from the public, noting that its “overly rosy assessments of the vaccines’ effectiveness against delta may have lulled Americans into a false sense of security.” Tom Frieden, former CDC director under Obama, suggested that the long delays in disclosure led some people to “wonder if the CDC is hiding results.” CDC Director Walensky responded to the debacle by promising “to develop a new forecasting and outbreak analytics center to analyze data in real time,” the Post reported. The CDC apparently did not previously consider it worthwhile to spend any of its $8 billion annual budget on such a project.
The Biden administration has sought to blame the resurgence of COVID on scofflaws who did not submit to every revised command. The Official Enemies List has expanded from those not wearing a mask to those resisting getting vaccinated, and it will soon include those who balk at getting a third (and fourth? fifth?) injection.
 The biggest expansion of the Enemies List occurred on August 13, when the Department of Homeland Security issued a terrorist alert, warning law enforcement agencies that “anti-government/anti-authority violent extremists could exploit… potential re-establishment of public health restrictions across the United States as a rationale to conduct attacks.” Anyone who loudly objects to being locked back under house arrest will be the moral equivalent of the Taliban, or maybe Hezbollah. Previous federal driftnets for potential troublemakers expanded far beyond individuals who threatened violence. The feds may already be compiling vast lists of COVID critics that could come in handy at some future point.
But at least government officials now recognize the real enemy. COVID Czar Tony Fauci recently declared, “I know people must like to have their individual freedom… but I think that we’re in such a serious situation now, that… mandates should be done.” Fauci predicts that once the FDA rushes its formal approval of the COVID vaccines, there will be far more mandates imposed on Americans. The fact that the efficacy of the Pfizer vaccine has fallen to 42% is irrelevant. A vaccine isn’t a failure as long as the government can force everyone to get additional injections.
The primary “evidence” for most COVID policies is the job title of the government official issuing the decree. As University of California San Francisco professor of medicine Vinay Prasad wrote last month, “When it comes to non-pharmacologic interventions such as mandatory business closures, mask mandates, and countless other interventions, the shocking conclusion of the last 18 months is this: We have learned next to nothing.”
Prasad slammed his colleagues for failing to do reliable research on key issues of the pandemic: “Anyone who considers themselves a scientist should be embarrassed by our collective failure to generate knowledge, and this failure is once again looming large.”
For bureaucrats and politicians, gaining power and compelling submission are victory enough, even when their policies fail to vanquish a virus. Citizens are obliged to assume “government knows best, even when it knows little or nothing.” People won’t get infected as long as they are groveling to federal commands, right? Unfortunately, the government has no liability for the injections it approves or the freedoms it destroys.
Faith in absolute power is not “science” – regardless of how many scientists pledge allegiance to Washington in return for federal funding. As historian John M. Barry, author of The Great Influenza, observed, “When you mix politics and science, you get politics.” There is no safety in submission to damn fools, regardless of their pompous titles.
Reprinted with permission from the American Institute for Economic Research
LifeSiteNews has produced an extensive COVID-19 vaccines resources page. View it here.
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chibi-tsukiko · 3 years
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An Update to whoever wants one:
In 2006 my Dads job made us relocate. And for the next 2 years we were miserable. The neighborhood was awful, the middle school I went to was in code 500 lockdown every day, and the house felt like a prison. I wanted to move back to our old home where I grew up.
So in 2009 we did. I started highschool with the friends I grew up with. That soon turned into a disaster. And for the next 11 years, I had to hear how miserable my Mom was and how she had wanted to move South but I wanted to be with my friends. It was all my fault she’d say.
So due to extenuating circumstances, we moved South in August to where my Mom wanted. It’s barely been 2 months but she’s miserable. She cries everyday about how much she hates it here and how this was a mistake.
It’s heartbreaking since she waited 30 years to be here only to be dissappointed. But it’s also frustrating because for so long I had to hear that it was my fault that she was miserable & now she says we should have stayed where we were.
On top of that, I can’t land a job. I lost one job thanks to COVID, now I moved and I can’t find one down here. Instead, I got caught in a money laundering scam. I can’t afford health insurance so I can’t drive because anytime I ask to leave the house it turns into my Mom freaking out that if something happened I have no insurance.
I spend my days scrolling through job sites, applying, only to find out I’m one of 300 applicants. I feel like I wasted my time getting a BA and an MA that I can’t even get a job with. The state we live in thinks COVID is a joke and I live with 2 high-risk people so I can’t risk working a retail job and exposing them since no one wants to wear a mask down here.
Our psycho landlord from our old house is still trying to sue us, we have the court date in November and honestly I’m ready to just claw my eyes out.
I hate it. I’m tired of being miserable.
And I know I should be grateful. Grateful that I live at home so I don’t have to worry about paying rent and utilities. I have my health, I have both parents, and my brothers.
My life could be ao much worse and I know that. So I’m sorry for whining and complaining about nothing. The depression is hitting hard today. I can’t even get out of bed. I’m just done.
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maggyme13 · 4 years
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Sugar (11/?)
AN: In the next couple of chapters we will enter a bit of SOns of Anarchy territory.
THANK YOU to all those lovely readers that reblogged and let me know what they thought^^
Masterlist
Sugar- Masterlist
Part 10
„Let´s see what he wants.“, you told Bucky. Your car door was already open.
“Try to get his name. I can send it to NY and get Info on him. I have the feeling there is more behind his visit than he will tell us.”, he answered and you nodded. You had the same feeling.
“As I told you before Mrs Lowman, we offer you fifty thousand and paying of the mortgage fees. This is more than you will get when the bank sells it. That would be nothing. In the case you sell it to us, you we will give you enough time to pack your things and find a good retirement home. And later your Children won´t need to pay of your dept in the hopefully far future.”, you heard the stranger explain to your mother, using a very sweet and fake politeness.
You did not like him.
Wait what?
“Asd I told you before: I will not sell. This is my house and one day I will die in it.”, your Mother answered stubbornly and with determination in her voice.
“Mrs-”
“Ma, we are back. You alright?”, you interrupted the man, stepping right between him and your mother.
“Yes, no worries. What about you? Were you sufficient?”, she smiled and the two of you stepped inside the home.
“Me too. Your son will call his friend and tell him to look for another place to stay. We brought cakes from the bakery you love so much. Ms Muller sends her best wishes.”
“Oh how nice of her. I was already making some tee and coffee. Bucky, be so kind and close the door please. These winds are not good for my old bones. Thank you dear.”
“Sir.”, was the last thing you heard before the closing of the door.
“What just happened is not of your or your brothers concern. Understood?”, your mothers words were final and you knew there was no way to get something out of her if she did not want to speak about it.
“Fine. I know there is not way to get you to speak. So let´s eat cake and forget the whole incident.”
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“Heimdal, this is (y/n). Can you research something for me?”, you spoke into the receiver of your phone.
Loki had after all once told you to ask him if you needed any information.
“Of course Ms (y/n). Does it happen to do with your mothers house?”, the secretary asked, and you once again wondered how he knew what he did, “Mr Laufeyson had asked me to keep an eye on it and declare interest should it ever be foreclosed.”
“Okay. Did you find out about it during the background-check on me?”
“We did, indeed. So what can I do for you.”, his voice was warm.
“How much dies the bank demand and can you get information on an August Marks? He offered My ma money and something feels off about him.”
“The bank demands 75 000 Dollars for the once it will be sold. This will be in three days if my information is right. May I also inform you that Mr Laufeyson already green-lighted this endeavor, so you have all the money you need to your disposal.”
“He already did? Is it possible then, that you buy it for me, please? And to let them know not to let the other interested know about it?”, you hummed; not comfortable about the fact that Loki had already put everything in motion, but grateful.
“Of course Ms (y/n). I will buy the house in your name; you will only have to sign the papers, but I can arrange that to happen online. I will call you once I have any other information you asked for. Have a great evening.”.
The two of you said your goodbyes and the call ended with a lot of weight lifted from your chest. Your mother would not lose her home.
“Are you going to tell your Ma?”, Bucky had joined you on the terrace in the back garden.
“And get my ass whooped? No thank you. I will tell her once it is done and she needs to know. I have to tell my brother though. Sigh”, You groaned.
With the head on the top of the table, you dialed your brothers number.
“What?”, the man in question answered your call.
“Ma´s going to loose her house.”, there was no intention of you to even try to be polite.
“You kidding?”
“A man was offering to buy it when we returned. She is behind on her payments and the house will be sold in three days for 75k.”, you informed him further.
“Fuck. I have 10k most. Need to ask the club.”, he mumbled into the form and you could see him scratching is head in frustration.
“No need. I already called work. They are going to give me the money and I will pay it back with my paychecks. I just wanted to inform you about that and that the man felt off.”
“You gotta let Ma living there?”. Of course he ignored the fact you were worried about that man.
“Rent free; just like we did until we moved out. This way she can´t argue.”
“Good. Now, what guy?”
“A man of the name of August Marks. He seemed polite, and fake. Like there was a specific reason to buy the house. And it can´t be the location. A man dressed like that, does not buy a house in this neighborhood. Hap-”, you frowned and sat up right alarmed, “are you growling? Why are you sounding like an angry Bumblebee?”
“Big, short hair, Black, expensive suit?”, he finally asked.
“Yes. Why?”
“Not of your concern.”
“Happy, do you know this man because of your Job ?” , you breathed into the phone, but you got no answer.
“I take that as a yes. Do I need to get Ma somewhere else?”
“No.”
“Okay, I trust you because unlike me, you love Ma and don´t want to see her dead. I am calling you when the house is mine.”
“Good.” Klick
Asshole
“Do I need to call the Boss and get Sam and maybe some more down here?”, your bodyguard asked, worry in his voice.
“The night will tell. If Bikers show up. Yes. If not, then no.”, you answered him honesty.
“Makes sense.”, the man admitted, “I will stay up tonight and keep an eye out for anyone. No arguments. It is my job as your bodyguard and friend. And I have Bumble to keep me company.”
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
No bikers came the following night or day and so you believed that it all was as coincidence. Maybe Heimdal will find out more soon.
It was midday of the day you would be a newly made house owner when a knock sounded from the front-door and Bumble started barking.
It was Marks.
“Mrs Lowman, do you take our offer or not?”, he greeted your mother.
“We are not going to sell.”, she answered, but sadness was in her voice. She knew the bank would be selling her house this day. You had noticed her being quieter than usual the last two days.
“I am sorry to hear that. But you leave me choice now.”, he answered and at once reached into his jacket to- receive his mobile phone.
For a split second though, you had to admit, the thought of him pulling out a gun crossed your mind.
“This is August Marks of Pope Enterprise. I am calling to buy the house under the Number 666Ac. I will wait, thank you.”
A smirk threatened to spread over your face.
“What do you mean it is already sold. I INFORMED you last Month on my intentions to buy this object.- Yes, please give me the number of the buyer. Who was it you said?- Asgard, in the name of (y/n)(y/ln). Thank you and good bye.”, breathing in a few times to calm down, you saw him dialing the number you had given the bank for exactly this reason.
It only took a few seconds for his call to connect and your phone to ring. A look of confusion entered his face, that turned into disbelief and anger real quick when you answered with, “I am not going to sell. Have a nice day. Now, please leave my property or I will have to call the cops and my attorney for trespassing.”, in the sweetest and most innocent customer-service voice you were able to muster.
Huffing and with angry strides, he finally left and drove of in his expensive car.
You laughed. Until a smack on the back on your head shut you up.
“MA!”, you whined.
“I can´t remember asking for help.”, your mother scolded you.
“You didn´t. Does not change the fact that I did.”, you huffed.
“How much dept are you in now?”
“None. My boss payed for it and take the money from my paychecks every month.”, you explained, “So don´t worry, Ma.”
“Why?”
“Because you sacrificed everything to make sure Happy and I can have an almost normal childhood. I am just paying it back, so no more arguments.”, you hugged your mother with tears in your eyes.
“Thank you. I will make you your favorite cake. No Arguments”
And with this declaration, your mother ended the hug and disappeared into the kitchen where you immediately heard the clinking of bowls.
Keeping your promise, you called your brother:
“Your house now?”
“Yes, and Mr Marks was not happy about hearing it and that I do not intent to sell it ever.”, you hummed, still amused about the look the man had.
“Ya told him?”, your brother asked, almost getting pissed.
“Kind of, he came to make Ma a last offer. When she declined he called the bank to buy it in front of her face. Did not work out like he thought and when he called the new owner, me, he had no other choice than leaving in a sour mood.”
“Pack Ma´s things, you are going to spend Christmas in Charming. You have three hours.”, and with that the call ended, again.
“I swear, if he puts us into lockdown, I am leaving and telling Ma exactly why.”, you growled into the air before calling out to your Mother, “MA. Happy invited us to spend Christmas in Charming with him. And he won´t accept a no!”
“Jesus. What did my Son get himself into now.”,you heard her curse as an aswer.
Part 12
AN 2.0. Will she be locked up? and what will happen once she enters charming?
REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)
Thank you very much.
~MaggY
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joeyarnoldvn · 3 years
Text
2021, February
Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Monday the first day of February of 2021. Canada Kidnapping Themselves Tuesday. All About Hive Blog Wednesday. Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK Thursday. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction Friday. Amazon Spies Saturday.
Instagram Rising
I was banned on Bittrex Sunday the 8th. My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn Monday. Cronyism Sucks Tuesday. Gold-Backed Crypto Wednesday. Protonmail problem on my 36th birthday Thursday. Just kidding. Brother Joined Hive Friday. Shoveling Snow Saturday.
Ice Killed Texans
Happy Valentines Day Sunday the 14th. President's Day. Party at Five Monday. Texas Freezing Tuesday. Vietnamese pho dinner was yummy. Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post Wednesday. Photoshop Funny Thursday. We Need County Coin Friday. Why is Sweden banning masks Saturday.
Can't Disrupt Commerce lol
Strung up pea strings. The Healthy American Sunday the 21st. Pho dinner. Musical chairs. Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001 Monday. Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro Tuesday. Digging up potatoes. Bible study revived. Being Dead Due To Birth Wednesday. Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids Thursday. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign Friday. Cleaned Out a Chicken House Saturday. DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY Sunday.
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Oatmeal Monthly - 2021-02 - February of 2021 Published in February of 2021
I enjoyed watching season 1 of Tell Me Your Secrets
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Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan
2021-02-01 - Monday
Hello Pocahontas
Americans to be placed under Extreme Lockdown House-Arrest for at least 12 months, that is the plan. You will be stuck in your house like they did in China. You will starve to death and die. The plan is to begin this before 2022, as in as soon as possible. Your loved ones will die from Covid Vaccines which is already murdering hundreds to thousands of people. This is a hole straight down to the pits of Hell.
Canada Kidnapping Themselves
2021-02-02 - Tuesday
Biden, Harris, Napoleon Dynamite Voting Meme
When Canadians return to their home country, Canada, they're federally kidnapped, imprisoned in Covid Concentration Camps for many days, and then charged at least $2,000. Wow. Justin is so liberal. Let's all move to the Land of the Moose. 2 masks at least says CDC. Go to their website and read the article.
Try To Withdraw Money
If you try to take your money out of your bank, they'll flag you, stick the IRS up your butt. Just try it, I dare you. When you try to withdraw cash, watch what happens, and don't get me started with if you ask for gold when you try to cash out. Paper money was supposed to be an "I-Owe-You" check which is supposed to be exchangeable for actual gold, a place-holder.
All About Hive Blog
2021-02-03 - Wednesday
Picture of Joey Arnold
Hive is like Facebook except it pays you to post. Did you know Covid is also called SARS-COV-2? Wait a minute, whatever happened to SARS-COV-1? Did we have a pandemic for the first one? How are we already in the second one? Was I sleeping while the first one was going around? How many years ago was the first one? Is China stealing oil from Texas? Why was Joe Biden refused a Pentagon security clearance? There has been documented cases where people were missing over 90% of their brain tissue but where still able to function like a normal person. One person to even had just a thin layer around the inside of the skull. Literally an empty head and yet could still function as a human. They are destroying the second amendment right now. You have no idea.
Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK
2021-02-04 - Thursday
Trump Terminator
Big interview between Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK today, 2nd hour of the show. The dollar could lose over 20% of its value under Lord Biden before 2022 and much more the following 12 months. It is likely the dollar will die sooner or later meaning you must convert your dollars into something else while you still can. This is financial advice. You have been warned. Your money is on fire but not in a good way. You're leaking value each day. You might as well give me your money as you're losing your money each second. You're wasting your money as you let inflation destroy the value of fiat. Was the Burma Election stolen like it was in America? If you think Biden won, then you do NOT know who won in Burma. I don't care what military is doing. Who won the election in Burma? I'm asking who got the most real votes excluding the fake votes. I want to know who really won. Please let the REAL WINNER be the leader of what you call Myanmar. Whoever actually won should be allowed to run that country, period. Military should help whoever got the most legal votes in that nation. Period. I don't know who won. I am just saying let the real winner have the power, good or bad.
Fall or Rise of Empires
This is what Mike Adams said today. He said something bad could happen over night, that is to the extent the dollar crashes, they'll try to blame the crazy Redditters, the conservatives, for destroying the money, they'll come up with crazy excuses, conspiracy theories, and then say how they saved us by giving us Biden Coins or whatever they want to call it. They are trying to have one centralized global digital currency, no cash, no decentralized cryptocurrencies. So, I agree this could happen at any time, especially if three or more stimulus checks come out in 2021, as they spend more and more money, as people demand silver, gold, etc. The centralized banking system could fall in the next few years or sooner. As that happens, either the good guys or the crazy globalists and baby eaters can take over as that happens. So, in other words, we are in a major transition in global history similar to the rise or fall of other great empires like that of Rome, Babylon, Persia, England, China, etc. But I can't say if we are in the middle of the fall or the rise of an evil authoritarian regime.
Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?
2021-02-05 - Friday
Alex Jones
Happy birthday brother. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction? In order to buy guns in 2021 in America, you either have to right now or potentially soon will have to pay too many taxes, additional taxes, including gun related taxes, and pass a test which includes questions relating to if you want to own a gun. If you answer you want a gun, you fail the test because only crazy bad guys want guns. If you want a gun, pass a test. The only way to pass the test is to answer you do not want a gun. Once you answer you do not want a gun, then the genie in the bottle comes out and says in the voice of Robin Williams in Disney's cartoon movie, Aladdin, "As you wish." There were at least two 2020 USA General Election court cases which heard evidence meaning the other dozen or more cases were unconstitutionally dismissed by compromised judges. There is one case in Arizona which is leading towards potential ballot auditing. There may be other legal cases pending in other states in the United States of America. New court cases may rise. Others are ongoing. Some may be, if they haven't yet, potentially, refiled or retried. In some cases, you can do that. It's not double-jeopardy in some cases. It depends but you can sometimes do this depending on the details. A federal case for example could be then tried on the state level. That is not double jeopardy. You can pressure your local counties to call for ballot audits today. Join the revolution.
Nullifying Federal Executive Orders
North Dakota is planning to nullify (on a state level) unconstitutional federal executive orders. If you're not living in this state, you should either go there or encourage your state to call up North Dakota. Hello Texas, Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, etc. In the world of rock paper scissor, you can see state and federal power. However, never underestimate the power of the county sheriff which trumps over them. You should make friends with your local sheriffs and talk to them about the rule of law regarding what you have to do in your county, legally speaking. Don't go against the sheriffs. Find out what they expect from you as a citizen of the county you're living in.
Amazon Spies
2021-02-06 - Saturday
Trump
Amazon vans have cameras actively spying on people, as in anybody and everybody as they drive around delivering packages, not just their customers but also neighbors and everyone else as well. They collect the data in order to develop a China Social Credit Score Database. Even if you're not on Facebook, they'll still have your data. If you do something that our overlords deem not right, your social credit score begins to go down and down. A lower Social Credit Score means you will not be able to buy and sell, travel, have food, have protection, have safety, have a job, have schooling, have a house, have children, have parents, have organs, have water, have power, have Internet, have apps, have trash, have doctors, have hospitals, have health care. When you call 911 and say somebody cut off your arm and you are bleeding to death, the operator will answer the phone and say, "Sorry, your social credit score is too low, please raise it to an acceptable level and try your call again. Have a good day. Good bye."
I was banned on Bittrex
2021-02-07 - Sunday
I was banned on Bittrex
Banks and big tech companies are making special cities all around the world. Covid to End on the 31st of March of 2025 according to WorldBank.org.
My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn
2021-02-08 - Monday
Facebook Restricted
My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time.
Cronyism Sucks
2021-02-09 - Tuesday
Cronyism Sucks
George Washington did NOT say, "My fellow Americans, read my lips, I hereby grant you some rights which we can then take away if there is a pandemic or if you feel a little unsafe regarding your neighbor's cannons." You can either help your state leave the United States of Satan or you can leave that state. A woman in Vancouver, Washington went to a hospital. Nurses and doctors tried to stick a needle in her arm against her wishes. She said no. The hospital called the police who came and kidnapped her for not breaking the law. No crime. The hospital and the police committed crime against her. And believe all women. And what if I told you she was black and black lives matter. And police are bad. The police might as well sell her to sex trafficking. Don't we want to defund the police? And I am Pro-Choice too. My Body My Choice. And none of your business. Thousands of people go to Oakes Farms Market in Florida daily without masks in 2020 and many of them go there seven days a week because it's the new Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, even some of their staff are 80 years old or older and yet are not getting sick. But if you do want to wear a mask, have at it. Hundreds of new customers come in each day from out of state, some come as far as like New York. You can tell they're new because when they enter the store, their jaws drop like as if they're cartoon characters.
Cash App
My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time. I will invest in a gold-backed cryptocurrency, as much as I can. Is there such a thing yet? Sign up to be a First Responder today, just call, not toll-free, at 1-800-Get-A-Gun-Duh. Don't kill your chickens, wait until they die of old age, say a little prayer to remember the wonderful life Chicken Little had and then get out your knife and prepare for a feast in honor of the life of the little guy. Study shows over 80% of Covid-19 Patients have vitamin D deficiency. Nurses stick stuff inside babies causing hearts to stop. After that, they try their best to restart the infant's hearts. Too many do die. It is covered up. You don't hear about it. Most viruses die in the air within seconds. Over 85 percent of child trafficking related things seem to be happening on Facebook Messenger.
Gold-Backed Crypto
2021-02-10 - Wednesday
Find me on Instagram at Joeyarnoldvn
Gold and silver are accepted as legal currencies in Utah, Oregon, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri. Before 2030, globalists will most likely murder over 6 billion people. The good news is, number one, we can try to stop some of that, and, number two, regardless, you don't have to be one of them, you don't have to die, there may be only a billion people left on our planet soon. Come join me and survive this coming Holocaust. The greatest Holocaust ever. Save as many people as you can. But at the same time, you don't have to die. Get out of the big cities. Find a farm while you still can. You are running out of time. Find a community of like-minded people and get a room, I mean a community, a neighborhood, a state where you can find like-minded people. Do it while you still can.
Genocide Coming
Because there may be over 7 billion people who support the globalist agenda, they will end up dying most likely in the next few years. You must be prepared for this probability or worst case scenario. Every day you're still not dead yet is precious. You get what you promote. Justice is coming. There are consequences and rewards for the actions we take in life. Will you buy smart underwear which will be connected to the NSA? How do we detox from the lead which is in the soil? I have a friend named Tim Osman. Please don't Google his name. You can make money posting to blockchain social networks, I can help you sign up for free, no credit cards, no money required. I post on these websites and I make money. I did not put any money into them. You can take the money out. You can wire the money to crypto exchanges, banks, wallets.
Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.
2021-02-11 - Thursday
Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.
Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday. Step one, find out how many people died annually for the last ten years in your country. Step two, please post those statistics for each individual year including 2020 in your report. We will copy and paste what you find everywhere. Thank you very much. Leftists say you have to say chest, can't say your baby is sucking on your breasts. You have to say human milk. You cannot say it is the milk of the mother. Oh My God. Russia killed the ALL-MIGHTY DOLLAR! I hate you RUSSIA! Are you happy America is becoming Venezuela in the next few years or much sooner because you do nothing, isn't that really cool that you're helping this republic and the world crumble? Are you excited as millions of people die? Do you wake up each morning happy that you don't care about this? Covid Vaccine has over 5 different viruses which it programs and mass produces in your cells to eat up your body from the inside-out, to attack the proteins, to kill your babies, to give you HIV, to kill your immune system and cause you to die from the common cold within months to the extend you're lacking enough essential vitamins.
Regarding Gold-Backed Cryptocurrencies
But the idea of a gold-backed cryptocurrency could at least in theory become a 2-in-1 deal where it might be backed by gold and yet as a fail-safe if all else goes wrong, if governments and others come in to confiscate the gold, you would still have something like Bitcoin or whatever type of cryptocurrency it may be. I see that as a potential two in one deal. Of course the risks, liability, privacy risks of having governments seek to imprison people for having gold which might be connected to a cryptocurrency, I understand that might be too big of a risk in some situations, it may be harder to be anonymous if police were to spot you holding some gold. Finding ways to stay as anonymous online in the mist of tyranny is a worthy cause and that is why I value the 4th amendment of the U.S. constitution. Cartoons and other children shows are actively singing songs and otherwise encouraging toddlers to wear masks, to not shake hands, hug, or get close to other people; to simply not be humans at all, this will scar these kids for the rest of their lives, deep intellectual abuse.
Brother Joined Hive
2021-02-12 - Friday
My brother joined Hive - When I Was Young, Busted Knees, No Helmets, No Limits
Mother cries as insulin for his son who could die without it costs more than $500 even as it only costs pennies to make. Biden did this. Watch the video of this mother in her car video. Listen to her passion as she speaks truth. They say even after everyone on the planet is vaccinated, we still must have lockdown globally, even in ten years from now. Are you happy for living on Planet Wall-E as Fat People stuck in The Matrix? Over ten million starved to death in 2020 thanks to people staying at home and being safe. We kept ourselves so safe, we ended up dying because we had no food. We are so scared, we make the problem worse. The odds of coming up with the exact numbers of the 2020 U.S. General Elections, Mathematician Expert Edward Solomon says there aren't enough stars in the known universe to have it come up by chance apart from electronic manipulation, statistically, it's astronomical, he went on to say there aren't even enough atoms in the universe. Biden won exactly the same percentage points across multiple precincts at designated times a day just long enough to put him in the lead. One example in Fulton County, Georgia on starting at 12:54 AM on Wednesday, the 4th of November of 2020, the percentage was set 5.5555%, and every 30 minutes to an hour plus a few times on Thursday, that is eleven separate times, each time it was exactly 5.555% percent, and that is humanly impossible to replicate by hand without the help of voting software.
Elmo Vaccine
Elmo got the vaccine and people on Sesame Street are locked in their homes like as if they were living in China. Children are being brainwashed. This is worse than sexual abuse. Green means you can travel. Different colors means different things under the Chinese Credit Score which is going to Europe, Australia, Canada, and is also slowly getting into America. If the centralized powers don't like you or your friends, then you can't work, school, travel, buy, sell, have your kids, have Internet, have a phone plan, health care, police care, fire care, water, sewer, garbage, food, etc. There is an alleged James Clapper interrogation audio tape which I'm listening to right now.
Shoveling Snow
2021-02-13 - Saturday
Michelle Obama, "Joe Biden, get your hands off my dick."
Before getting the Covid Vaccine, read the ingredients, the insert. And tell yourself, oh, I am putting this thing in my body, that is awesome. And oh, I am putting this other thing in my body. It is not a vaccine. Ignorance is Bliss. It's cool when you don't know you don't know something. It's cool when millions of people are likely to die or very close to it in 2021 because of Covid Vaccines.
Money is Dying
Cannot wait for the dollar to die. A study found that over 80% of those who got Covid were vitamin-D deficient. And the Flu magically disappeared during the winter. If you're going off the CDC website, you should make a list of the exact numbers.
Happy Valentines Day
2021-02-14 - Sunday
Joe Biden in like 2003
Happy Valentines Day. America has been dead for 209 years. They try to kill people via nano bots which goes into the body to cause flu like symptoms. That is fused with 5G, geoengineering, chemicals, waves, a variety of things working together. You must actively try ten times harder to counter as much of it all as you can, your ignorance is bliss, your children will suffer to the extent you try not to counter things you are yet to know. I repeat, things you are yet to know. Apple cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons a day but broken up gradually throughout the day, can help you. Encouraging healthy pH blood level balance minimizes cancer, detoxifies the liver, dissolves viruses, and helps the heart. The brain-gut connection. Is it true the last U.S. President to take the oath for the united states for America was back in around 1812? Has America been dead for over two centuries now? Did you know there is a star inside our earth? Biden is telling Americans to wear masks until 2022.
Reducing Zombism
Candida is a type of fungus which helps decompose dead bodies but the problem comes when the people are still alive while Candida is excessively growing and eating up your body even before you are actually dead. Therefore, you want to look at fasting, at starving those little guys at least once every ten years if not as often as you can to minimize how much of them you have inside of your biology. Borax detoxes fluoride from the brain. Inside your body are the bad guys, the fungi, which wants your body to die, and the good guys, which are the bacteria which wants your body to live, that is the civil war within your chemical makeup. The pineal gland in our brain is a spiritual window into the Supernatural Internet which transcends space and time, it truly is the third eye, but fluoride blocks it. Does the earth have two moons?
Party at Five
2021-02-15 - Monday
Star Wars Luke Kenobi Father Vader Anakin Floor is Lava Game Sucks He Was And Died Hahaha Meme
Party at Five. RINOs are Republican In Name Only and PINOs are Patriots In Name Only. Thousands of refugees are being allowed into California and Texas from Mexico but without being tested for Covid, no masks, no safety. But if you want to go anywhere or do anything, you have to get tested. When immigrants come in, as they do right now, they are NOT being tested for anything really, they can pass on diseases to you and you are not allowed to do anything period.
Texas Freezing
2021-02-16 - Tuesday
Girl from Firefly show
A 28 YEAR OLD WISCONSIN MOM DIES DAYS AFTER SECOND PFIZER SHOT. Why are kids sneaking out of the White House? Is Tom Cruise part of an off-planet corporation called Umbrella? You can find really old videos on the Internet of really tall people, some of them may be 14 feet tall or taller as you can see people and horses almost reach the height of this man's knees. Did you really think those videos were fake? Many times you'll find truth hiding in plain sight. Truth is often lying underneath your nose all along. This takes the Mandela Effect to a whole new level. Is the South Pole actually the North Pole? It's below zero degrees in Texas right now, they refusing to turn the power back on as people freeze to death, they're shutting down stores as people starve to death, and they're refusing to plow roads. You can literally watch videos of giant semi-trucks crashing into other trucks, at least three giant trucks, one which was going at least 70 MPH and the others were going pretty fast too, several people died in just that pile up alone.
Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?
I am single, 36 years old, I live in Shelton, I am Christian, no kids, I live with my parents, I don't wear a mask ever, I listen to Alex Jones, I love Trump, I am a little bit crazy, I don't work. I don't have a job. I just sit on a computer all day writing on my blog and that is it. Was the inspiration behind the Star Gate movies and shows stolen from the Native American Indians? Weather manipulation meetings at your local town hall in a county or state near you, why are you not there to ask them questions? Things got so bad in India that they created a task force and then ended up banning the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. That's how EVIL India is. Hey folks, how could India keep out our SAVIORS? We all know Bill Gates is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Kissinger wrote a report back in the 1970s regarding how to control the African population.
Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post
2021-02-17 - Wednesday
White Culture Dont Have Any Joke Yes We Do
Texas Dark Winter to last for weeks, people are freezing and starving to death, people are so excited as the globalists take over the world, Biden said the Dark Winter was coming, he was right. Be prepared for a new biological weapon, a new Covid disease, coming either this year in 2021 or at least before 2025. It will kill at least 4 billion people. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. I'm on record trying to tell you how bad things are. If you're reading this, you're guilty of not caring. Please, do something. The clock is ticking. Will China be aiming nuclear weapons at 24 targets across the globe, will it be real, will it be staged, will it be an excuse to lockdown the world, what is going to happen? Will it be exactly 24 different places in different countries around this planet? Will this be a good thing or a bad thing? Will the good guys or the bad guys be able to take control of whatever that might happen in February of 2021? Will it be any day now? Will people fall for false flags? Is there anything we can do right now?
Bill Gates Over Biden
Biden won't speak to world leaders. Boris Johnson said Bill Gates is really the head of the G8. This is how globalism works. They're getting the general population used to the world being run by technocracy. In a secret video, Mark Zuckerberg told his Facebook staff he didn't trust the Covid Vaccine. So, why isn't Mark telling his 2 billion users this? Why keep such a thing a secret? In the 1960s, America asked Russia to start a world war against China but Russia declined. That was declassified.
Photoshop Funny
2021-02-18 - Thursday
1776 Put Mask On Americans No Way
Funny story today, somebody used photoshop to try to fool me ahahahahhaaa! Biden is taking over the Texan Power-Grid, red alert, warning warning. We know their plan. We know the patterns. They'll say deadlier strands are out there now. This will likely be by the fall of 2021 if not a lot sooner. The strands will generally be less deadly. But it's extremely coordinated, scripted, they will all try their best to make you gulp down this Kool-Aid of Death. Shifting into Techno-Scientific Dictatorship, they're phasing the general public to accept this shift in world history globally, most people are stuck in a trance and they do NOT even know it. Even if you tell them, they will say to you, "You are crazy." THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE SKY THAT MAKES THE SNOW GAY. The power grid was an attack on water-power devices, especially in the 1930s. Some people had water-powered devices. They didn't need electricity because they water-powered devices.
Scaring Children to Death
A ten year old was admitted to the hospital because he was losing weight because he was refusing to eat for so long because he was afraid he would get Covid and die. Sergeant Major said they don't call it a Lie-Berry for nothing. Did you know they used to have water-powered mechanical devices? You were not told real history. A lot of stuff covered up. Why not get back to water power? Aren't you even just a little bit curious? People had free electricity thanks to tap water in the early 1900s. So, why would people give that up? What happened? Why trade that in for a monthly electricity bill?
We Need County Coin
2021-02-19 - Friday
Lauren Chen was on Friday Night Tights
Steele mentioned the idea of CountyNet. Also, he mentioned an idea of a CountyCoin which loses value the farther away from the county the coin moves in order to incentivize investing back into the same community as opposed to going excessively and obsessively overseas aggressively, as in too much and too often. I confess I fell for fake news when I thought Babbit died. I was wrong. Steele says Wall Street and others stolen 100 trillion dollars. People in power plants in Texas were ordered to lower down, to power down to zero percent in most cases, the documents are here, you can read the documents, they were ordered to do this on purpose, this is KILLING PEOPLE, and YOU DO NOT CARE. Do you have no friends or family in Texas? 2021-02-14 - Sunday - 08:51 PM EST - The 14th of February of 2021 - DOE Order Number 202-21-1 was issued for Texas (ERCOT), for more info, go to Energy dot gov, their official government website.
Texas Being Murdered
The Department of Energy (DOE) was ordered to turn off the power in Texas which is causing people to die. They're literally murdering people and nobody cares. The evidence is right there, we can all grab and share it. But nobody cares that thousands to millions of Texans are starving and freezing to death. I said, to death. The Department of Energy told Texas they CANNOT produce more energy, that is why people are dying. DOE Order Number 202-21-1 mentions ERCOT (ISO), this document can be read on their official government website, you can go there, you can read it, you can pass it on to your friends, or you can let your friends die in the cold in Texas with no power. Texas electricity bill for your power, just this week now, went from $50 per Megawatt to over $9000 per Megawatt. Breaking News,  Megan Fox is an Anti-Masker which means she is Pro-Vitamin, we are all going to die.
Why is Sweden banning masks?
2021-02-20 - Saturday
Alpha Heater
Why is Sweden banning masks? Many times, they ban people from YouTube but then let other upload the same videos or similar videos and profit from them. The Covid Vaccine is not a remedy but an operating system.
The Healthy American
2021-02-21 - Sunday
We Stole It Fair & Square
Stores are not legally allowed to discriminate or disrupt commerce which comes from even the customers who refuses to wear masks. Stores can say it's private property. However, because the stores are open to the public, thanks to the 4th amendment, thanks to other things as well, prohibiting customers is discrimination among other things as well. The maskless buyer is not trespassing if he or she is not disrupting commerce. Moreover, when you prohibit customers from stores, then you are engaging in the disruption of commerce which may be illegal among other things as well partly because the customers are part of the free market exchange system which we call commerce. Stopping customers means you are disrupting commerce. That is illegal. You should go to jail for disrupting commerce. It may be many different things, not just that. Stores and states must be held accountable for violating laws. Stores are public. They cannot enforce masks. Churches however are legally considered to be private and can enforce masks.
Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001
2021-02-22 - Monday
Coco Cola White Polar Bear Fired For Being Too White
Sound of Freedom is a great movie. The only preparedness that counts is the preparedness that happens when you don't yet need it. One day without notice, you will wake up and you will go to an ATM and it will not work. You will have no food in your house for many weeks to many months or longer. It takes less energy to walk on two legs than it takes to run four legs. The majority of suicides are from white male adults. Second spot is held by black male adults. Why was Bill Gates thrown out of 32 countries? New monthly vaccines for the virus of the month. Are you excited? He said now we have to difficult work of "Untying this knot," that is code for crazy people have to be sent off to re-educational FEMA camps where they will either recant or be murdered.
Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro
2021-02-23 - Tuesday
Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro
Gina interview. Why did NASA stop looking for life on Mars in 1976, why did they transition after that to geology, to looking for rocks? Trump got over 80 million votes while Biden got less than 40 million. Why are so many world leaders saying Covid-19 is permanent? They refuse to test it on animals because it kills animals or worse. No animals were harm in the making of this post. God save the animals. I'm glad we skipped animal-testing.
Being Dead Due To Birth
2021-02-24 - Wednesday
Tell Me Your Secrets
The only time your name is written in all uppercase capital letters is on your tombstone and yet that is how it's formatted on birth certificates, when parents sign it IN CURSIVE LETTERS when you are born, that is necromancy. When they say you can't leave the hospital with your own newborn infant baby without signing it, that is theft or worse. Legally speaking, it is a literal death sentence as you are literally selling away your baby. You need to live in groups of at least ten people. Zombies will be coming from the big cities. Protect your family from the walking dead. Why are so many big people being arrested around the world each day? Why?
Who Controls The Military Right Now?
Was an executive order or other items signed officially in 2019 authorizing a former (allegedly incumbent) U.S. President full control of the military even up to 60 days after an alleged inauguration of a alleged new administration (that is the new but fake President of the possibly defunct United Corporate States of America) which would end in or around, approximately, on the 20th of March of 2021? Please let me know such things were not signed. Please let your friends know nothing at all happened in 2019 at all. I'm only asking. I have no idea what happened.
Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids
2021-02-25 - Thursday
Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids
My gender is oatmeal. That is the kind of sex or gender I am. In India, doctors are saying women who get the Covid Vaccines are showing signs of the beginning stages of sudden breast cancer. Wow. This is amazing. Sign me up. Now we can all be Booby-Free Angelina Jolie. Please stick ten of those things in my arms today. Quick, this cannot come fast enough. Make boobs not great again. Please tell your friends how awesome this is. Learn To Say No Just For One Day Article. Tree Court Article.
Globalist vs Brazil
In Brazil, they're trying to force the government to not only waive all liability for the Covid Vaccines but also to sign over military bases over to them as well, it's insane but crazy things happen daily if only you knew the half of it. Back to American news. The Supreme Court has committed treason against the constitution and the republic of these American states. They've ruled saying whoever cheats the most in an election gets to be the alleged president of this defunct fake corporation which we illegally call in all caps THE UNITED STATES OF [not 'for'] AMERICA. Cheating is not only allowed but now also endorsed by the highest court of the land.
My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign
2021-02-26 - Friday
My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign
Masks Causes Bacteria Pneumonia. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign. Their goal is to make all humans unable to naturally reproduce by 2030. Why is South Africa cancelling the Covid Vaccine? There is also related news in Brazil, India, etc. See, people are dying from vaccines. They've been spending billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths for decades globally. They murder people who expose this or worse in most cases. You have no idea how bad it is. Bill Gates and others are involved in giving vaccines to people around the world. That is why Bill Gates is banned in so many countries. In other news, there may be someday selling cloned synthetic children meat to encourage people to eat. Hell, they may have it ready already. Celebrity meat actually. The only we defeat this invisible enemy is to decide our own destiny. 80% of people who died of Covid in Canada were in nursing homes. 101 Pocketball Journal Scans Uploaded.
Covid Vaccines Are Murdering People
Why are over 75% of U.S. military troops refusing the Covid Vaccine? Because vaccines kill people. But more than that, the Covid Vaccine is not a vaccine. It utilizes mRNA which turns your cells into virus factories. That is what mRNA is. See, the M on mRNA means MESSENGER. This is Basic Biology & Science 101 For Dummies here. The vaccine literally sends messages or mRNA into the cell nucleus to tell it to make specific items. Covid-19 and the alleged vaccines in response to it are both GMO-like chimera monsters. They're a combination of different viruses, different things, I'm talking Frankenstein on a microscopic level. I've been talking about this many times. That is why so many people and so many countries are saying no to the vaccines. And again, the Covid Vaccines are not even vaccines to begin with. I wouldn't even be surprised if nano-tech is involved among other things in regards to these things which are murdering people right now. Sadly, they're blaming the mRNA deaths on Covid. So, they're trying very hard to make you think that you need to take monthly vaccines. And the more people die, the more they'll say, "Hurry up, you need even more vaccines, etc." Remember, they have spent billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths. They murdered many people who tried exposing them. Fake news would never tell you all of this because they're fake news.
Cleaned Out a Chicken House
2021-02-27 - Saturday
Alex Jones Predicting Covid-19 Back in 2010
Wear a mask or I'm calling the cops. Alright, call the cops. I'm suing them. In 2020, over 40 million alleged votes for Biden were fake. In 2008, it was reported that HAARP was learning how to steer hurricanes via high-atmosphere heat injection, kind of like guiding a kitten with a string. Watch out for Bioterrorism says Bill Gates. Which reminds me, kind of funny how Texas was suddenly colder than Montana. Wow. Out of nowhere. What happened on this day in 1933? Reich Fire. Hitler. Germany. Klaus Schwab says you will ONLY ONLY ONLY eat bugs and will love it.
What is in the Covid Vaccine?
Some of the ingredients for the mRNA Covid Vaccine includes some of the most commonly consumed things including vinegar, salt, sugar, plus a few very common preservatives found in so many food items. Too many people buy processed foods which includes preservatives in them. So, why are these commonly consumed items in the vaccine? It is there to trigger autoimmune responses in your body's immune system. It may takes years for your body to get there, but slowly over time, your body will begin to develop allergies to salt, sugar, vinegar, etc. These allergies may spiral out of control into even worse problems over time. Now, that is just the tip of the iceberg. But it is a good thing to start with and share with others. Don't believe me. Don't take my word for it. Go get a list of the ingredients to these vaccines and post them here. I will wait for your awesome responses. Thank you so much in advance for responding with the real list of ingredients. Prove me wrong. Easy to do. Just show me the ingredients. Show me these items, like salt, is not in the vaccine.
DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY
2021-02-28 - Sunday
Covid Vaccine Ingredients
Your body will become DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY. Why is Pfizer giving their customers one thing but their staff a different thing? Pfizer got a new drug out which is going to help people deal with one of the side-effects of their own vaccines. So, they make money trying to fool you into getting one and then even more money when you have to come back to take some of their drugs to deal with the deadly side-effects. Have fun, kids. You WILL swell up like a balloon. I warned you. Why were thousands to millions of 2020 ballots had computer-printed vote marks as opposed hand-written vote marks all for Biden and none for Trump?
Trump 2024 is Retarded
Downvote because Trump won in 2020. See, they can steal it from Trump in 2024 too. We have to call for FORENSIC-STYLE ballot audits in each county each day. Call people. Email people. You can make a difference. Call the military. Call Congress. Call judges. Write letters. Protest in person. Make videos. Write articles. Share things everywhere. Do something. If you are reading this and you are doing nothing, then you deserve Biden and the Chinese takeover of America.
Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?
Telling The Truth in a World of Lies
Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan
Canada Kidnapping Themselves
All About Hive Blog
Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK
Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?
Amazon Spies
I was banned on Bittrex
My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn
Cronyism Sucks
Gold-Backed Crypto
Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday
Brother Joined Hive
Shoveling Snow
Happy Valentines Day
Party at Five
Texas Freezing
Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post
Photoshop Funny
We Need County Coin
Why is Sweden banning masks?
The Healthy American
Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001
Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro
Being Dead Due To Birth
Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids
My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign
Cleaned Out a Chicken House
DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY
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~5 months later~
Ok I lied. I’m not going to talk about my Japan trip in this post. Instead I’m going to provide an update on what’s been going on in my life for the past 5 months since my last post. Lol. 
Okaaaay. So we ended up having a second wave. Hahah..aha..hah. A very intense and overwhelming one, at that. There was a day I believe when the number of new covid cases reached almost 800? It happened around mid this year. I remember it being a really devastating and disappointing period of everyone’s lives. It would seem like the number of new cases would only get worse everyday. I would be so put off from watching the news or reading about anything related to covid ‘cause it would only make me depressed. 
Today is a notable day to write this post ‘cause today’s the first day, since this second wave started, that VIC reached 0 new cases and 0 new deaths. 4 stages of lockdown (plus an extension) later, we're finally here! Everyone up until this day had been feeling it - despair, restlessness, anger, hopelessness - at this lockdown that seemed would never end. But today we got the news that VIC will be re-opening again (1st stage) this Wednesday (it’s a Monday today), then even more on Nov 8. The glimmer of hope we’ve been waiting for, for literally months now. 
Now for the non-covid related updates. Lol. 
It’s tempting sometimes to overgeneralise 2020 as “the year wasted”. “Nothing happened this year” (besides covid of course). But there have been a few new things I’ve experienced this year which I think would be worth noting. And a few thoughts I’ve been having lately that I really need to deposit somewhere before I forget them. 
Ever since I became single early this year, I’ve received some interesting dm’s via Instagram. One of the first ones was from this guy from Canada, who sent me one of my posts via my DM then proceeded to comment “cute haha *monkey covering it’s mouth emoji*”. I got this message while I was showering, at like 3am, so it was pretty unexpected. This was the beginning of a very strange friendship (?) thing. Long story short, and around a month later, I found out him to be a very strange guy. He was cute, seemed like a catch at first. BUT he gave off major player vibes and also, he was basically 4-5 years younger than me, and didn’t live up to the maturity he claimed to have (emotional maturity mainly). He would make it seem like he was after a relationship with me sometime in the future but also kept implying that he wasn’t necessarily after a relationship right now, and just wanted to “go with the flow”. He was always complimenting me, always wanted to FaceTime everyday, and would sweet talk me with things that were nice to hear. But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was bad news and wasn’t really serious about any of this (I even kept telling him I was thinking this). I should mention he was asking for a selfie and wanted to FaceTime from the very first conversation we had (after only exchanging a few messages). We didn’t even know each other yet?? Lmao. After a few weeks of talking to him I eventually caught him in a lie, and yeah. That was one of the biggest red flags. I had a weird feeling about him from the get go, but I guess I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt (and also what threw me off a lot is that he told me that he told his Mum about me - but I’ll never know if that was just a lie too). He also told me that he was going to visit here from Canada in August (it’s October now) and kept going on about how he wanted to spend a whole week out of the two weeks he was going to be here, with me, and how I’m so chill and fun to talk to that we would have so much fun spending time together. Lmaooo. He told me he’s dated a lot of older girls (I’m not sure if this is a fetish of his), but every time I asked him how many exes he’s had, it would always be a different number (which is hella sus ‘cause it seemed like he was lying then). He tried to do some weird sexual stuff as well which I never entertained and pretty much shut him down straight away whenever he tried. Not sure if he was just joking, but it was disturbing nonetheless. I won’t go into detail ‘cause this isn’t the place for it. It eventually got to a point where I was decided on the fact that I couldn’t take this guy seriously and didn’t want to waste both our time so I started replying less/later to his messages, basically friend-zoned him by calling him “man” and “dude”, and teased him about other girls saying that he had potential with them. I think he eventually got the hint ‘cause one day he just stopped texting me “good morning” everyday. Lol. But anyway, yeah that was more or less the main stuff about guy #1. 
Guy #2 was from London and it started with one of my girl friends messaging me and asking me if I was talking to someone at the moment. I said I wasn’t and she proceeded to tell me that one of her boyfriend’s friends found me really pretty and wanted to follow me on Instagram. She then sent me a few photos of him (screenshots from his IG account), asking if I would be interested (I felt like I was on a dating site for a moment lmao). While flattering, I remember thinking this was so bizarre. To be honest with you though the guy wasn’t my type (looks-wise). My friend said he was “a real sweetheart”. Even though he wasn’t my type, I gave it a chance and told her that I don’t mind him following me. We both agreed that the guy and I had nothing to lose, and if anything we’d just become international friends. Lol. So soon enough the guy follows me on IG and then starts a convo via DM. He introduces himself, seemed like a nice/decent guy. Very articulate, and well versed. He would comment on my stories here and there and try to get a conversation going, try to get to know me better and try to share things about himself. I think I recall him saying he thought I lived in Japan ‘cause I had a lot of posts from Japan. Lmao. It would get to the point though where he would write massive paragraphs, but the energy wasn’t called for, and didn’t feel mutual. I think I found it a bit overwhelming and felt like he wanted to take every opportunity to write an essay about his views on everything. There was a particular time I did an IG story post where I was venting about something, and he replied to it with like two long paragraphs worth of his thoughts, and then said he would be there for me even though we didn’t really know each other that well yet etc. Which was really sweet - yes. But also felt too early, premature. It almost felt like he was trying to forge an emotional connection too early on in a relationship which wasn’t even at the friends stage yet. We’d only been talking for like 2 weeks or so. I couldn’t help it, but I think my neutral and short replies gave off a hint, and he commented less and less on my stories. Till eventually he stopped altogether. Lol. Also I think I may have accidentally called him “man”....on purpose. I feel like a horrible person. There was a point early on though that I looked through his IG profile and tried to find things about him that I liked (I basically tried to convince myself that maybe the guy wasn't so bad). But I think that wasn’t successful. And yeah, it was hard to hide that fact for long I think. 
Guy #3 is this random guy that just followed me out of no where and liked a bunch of my photos on IG all at once. He then started commenting on my stories quite a lot. He would leave brief comical comments, and tried to get me to play animal crossing with him. Lol. He tried to start a convo one time but I didn’t reply to it for a few hours, and then found that he deleted it. Lol?? He would then like a few more of my IG pics. He was a bit strange. I wasn’t quite sure if he was trying to show that he was interested, or if he was just bored and wanted more friends. But yeah he doesn’t comment on my stories much anymore.  Now that I’ve gotten those out of the way, just thought I’d go on about my recent thoughts. So lately I’ve been feeling really stuck. I have a quarter-life crisis pretty much every day. I feel like I’ve plateaued, and I’m not really growing much right now. I feel like I need new experiences, new company. Most of the ones I have at the moment aren’t serving me well or helping me become a better person, if I’m honest. And I’m not happy. The company I have right now aren’t encouraging me to level up, or helping me expand my thoughts and horizons. I’ve noticed that a lot of the friends I was close to pre-covid have changed a lot, and so have I, so we’re not really offering much to each other. I’ve become so low energy lately that I find myself trying to avoid or escape dealing with people or situations that I feel aren’t worth my energy. Which I want to start doing more of from now on. I want to be more selective of the people I chose to surround myself with. I also want to find my community or a new community which I can be part of and grow from. Not sure how or where I will find that, but it’s something I’m keen on delving into more as time goes by. I want to be more myself, I want to change up my look, my fashion. I want to expand my knowledge, expand my vocabulary, expand the diversity of ways I talk/present myself or respond/reply to situations. I want to feel like I have something to offer - not only to my future partner, but to the friends I make in this lifetime. I feel like I’m too basic and uninteresting. I feel like I’m also too careful, too slow, too afraid to make mistakes. Too afraid to take risks. I want to stop “complaining about things, but doing nothing about them”. I want to be confident in myself, no matter what I feel that I am. If that makes sense. I want to speak more clearly, slower. I want to be able to speak Filipino fluently. I want to find the career that I love and work in it. I want to work with people that I can genuinely be friends with, not just colleagues or “fake friends”. I want to not care about what people will think about me, and just do me (especially on IG). I want to be unapologetically myself. But before that, I want that self to be the kind of self I aspire to be. Can you want to be different, but also want to just be yourself at the same time? Can someone confirm this? 
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star-nova · 3 years
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But OK. The big news. Why I’ve been so over the moon these past few weeks. 
Big News 1: B and his 2 soulbonds agreed to take me in in the future. 
We talked it over. B plans to move to the east coast in a few years. He said that when my father passes away, he will be around to assist me and he will find me a place to live nearby him where he can assist me on an as-needed basis. Mostly, he will be helping me with the things that are too this-world for my soulbonds to navigate: financial, legal, forms, documents, etc. May also be providing transportation or at least supervising my driving (it is becoming increasingly apparent that I cannot drive unsupervised...), we haven’t discussed that matter yet. My soulbonds, of course, continue to do all of the more intensive work. 
Big News 2: Now a few days ago, my BF (S) dropped on me that he is planning to come to America as soon as his country’s lockdown/restriction situation is over. He didn’t say more than that, but he implied a whole lot (or maybe I’m, as usual, ahead of myself and just horrible at reading people. Still...I can keep myself alive on hope now can’t I?). We have only been in a serious relationship for 6 months so it is too early to talk about anything long-term other than in a “wouldn’t it be awesome if we could maybe make this happen” context. 
But he really did imply a whole lot, from what I interpreted...
For a little bit of context, S and I met in a server in November 2019. It was actually my soulbonds from Rainbow Six Siege that brought us together--Dokkaebi was talking in the server and he said, “Is that Dokkaebi from Rainbow Six Siege?” But anyway, we started talking to eachother every day over the course of 2020. I fell in love first. He fell in love next. Over quarantine we called eachother over Discord every week, sometimes twice a week. We became official in August. 
B is the leader of an anti-lockdown group I joined over the summer. The group has pretty much fazed out by now, but B and I bonded outside of the group. I introduced him to S and Shadow last summer. Unfortunately, he and Shadow decided they don’t like eachother at all. But S and B hit it off almost immediately. 
B, S, and I and our soulbonds (B has 3, that he created himself for a story he’s writing. S wants to share mine, which they have agreed to) spend time together every day. The 3 of us have bonded over our similar interests, political leanings (I have those now, btw. Yeah it’s bizarre), and personalities. We create our own worlds and realities to live in where we can ignore the broken real one (in S’s he is an anomalous cosmic deity of the Lovecraftian variety, in mine I am of course the reality-warping, half-AI queen of the multiverse, and B’s constructed a world where the USSR never fell and he is the premiere). The real world, and real humans, are a subject of mockery, derision, and disgust for all 3 of us. We’ve got big plans, big dreams, and big goals...for ourselves and ourselves alone, that have nothing at all to do with anyone or anything else. And up until then, when we can put them into action, we’re biding our time...and have created a little circle for ourselves and ourselves alone, that has nothing to do with anyone or anything else. We are a king and a queen and a premiere. We choose who we associate with and who we don’t. We decide who is worthy of coming into our circle--and most people aren’t. 
And this is how we plan to live someday soon, when it’s beyond just text on a screen or video calls... 
And I realized that this is secretly how I always wanted to live, how I always wanted it to be. I just thought I wasn’t supposed to, that I needed to be “human.” That I needed to be “part of society” or else...or else what? Now that I’m looking back at it it was a really stupid, silly notion. Why DID I need to be part of society? Well, because my neurology is broken and my personality is broken and my development is broken and I knew I’d have to be taken care of for the rest of my life, I guess. And I figured if I just lock myself away from society, ain’t no way I’m gonna find someone who will be able to do that.
Well...
Sometimes I LOVE being wrong. And it still astounds the fuck out of me that I didn’t NEED to “be human” to find S and B. I didn’t NEED to go out into society. For fuck’s sake, we all bonded in LOCKDOWN. It wasn’t until QUARANTINE that S and I got close enough to get...well...close. I would have never even MET B, Z, and D (his soulbonds) if there was no lockdown at all. 
Somehow that is what blows my mind more than this entire wall of mindblowers going on right now...
The main thing, though?
We all got what we wanted in the end.
The world had done all it could to rip out everything we knew and loved from under us, and we STILL came out on top in the end. 
S found someone who understands him, and found love. 
B isn’t lonely anymore and is on his way to becoming the king of his world again, even outside of his personal neo-USSR headspace. 
And I have love, a home, a family--in two worlds--and a future. And a reason for living. 
We won. The humans may never think so, but we won. 
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