Ladies and Gentlemen, you might want to take off your trousers and slip into a bathrobe because things are about to get pretty steamy in here.
I’m beyond excited to officially unveil for you the beautiful cover of my upcoming book, “Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse!”
I’m sure many of you temporarily lost consciousness when your eyes fell upon the sheer sexiness of my girlfriend, Hannah, and I posing in such a sultry position, so I’ll give you a minute to regain your strength before I continue. I hope you’ll wipe up your drool and keep reading because I have a few very important things to say about this book.
My name is Shane Burcaw, and I was born with a lovely muscle-wasting disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. I’m working really hard to use my time on this earth to create a positive, lasting impact. Specifically, my goal is to change the way society looks at disability. This book is the next step in that journey.
One of the biggest stigmas about people with disabilities is that we are incapable and unworthy of romantic relationships. To give you an example, I run a YouTube channel with Hannah, and every time we post a new episode, people inevitably comment with theories as to why on earth we are dating. Here are just a few of my favorites:
“Don’t get me wrong - he seems like a good dude - but I ain’t buying it. She’s either his nurse or good friend and this is an act, or she’s got a couple screws loose.”
“Ask yourself, would you date him? NO, YOU WOULDN’T. What is the catch here?”
“This [relationship] is abnormal and frankly disgusting.”
Aren’t these fun? Jokes aside, this is but a small indication of the vast and innumerable ways that people with disabilities are discriminated against on a daily basis. I am determined to change that situation.
My strategy is humor. In “Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse” I use funny stories from my life to show readers that using a wheelchair is not some horrid, depressing existence. I’m a person, and my disability should not invoke pity or aversion, but rather, respect and love and kindness, just like we all deserve.
If you personally support that idea, please please please consider sharing this post. My ability to make a difference in this world is solely hinged upon spreading my story to as many people as possible, and YOU hold that power for me!
In celebration of my new book, and to raise funds for my nonprofit organization (which teaches children across the country about disability awareness and pride), I am hosting a HUGE online event scheduled for 8pm EST on November 27th. Entertainment will include a reading from “Strangers Assume”, an open Q&A where you can ask me anything you’d like, never-before-heard stories, and other special surprises! Your ticket purchase will help us provide adaptive technology to individuals living with muscular dystrophy in December 2018.
Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to share this exciting news. Below are all the important links you need regarding my new book and the live event on Nov 27th.
Pre-order “Strangers Assume” - https://www.amazon.com/Strangers-Assume-My-Girlfriend-Nurse/dp/1626727708
Pre-order autographed copy of “Strangers Assume” - https://www.laughingatmynightmare.com/shop
Nov 27th Exclusive Event Tickets - https://www.laughingatmynightmare.com/events
Matt Carr (genius photographer who shot the cover) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/themattcarr/?hl=en
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hello!! ukulele anon here and I loved the album release hcs, they were so cute!! I was wondering if you could write something for the same people (dream and Wilbur (r) and Ranboo and tommy (p)) for them finding out the reader has written a fantasy book and is a published author maybe? tysm <33
are you wanting to be ukelele anon? just curious :) (don't feel pressured to say yes haha, wasn't sure b/c of the way you worded it)
MCYT's with a Published S/O / Best Friend
Asks you to send him as many copies as you possibly can
Will give them to everyone he knows
Practically begs his fans/followers/viewers to buy a copy so he can talk about it
Purposely never talks about the ending so people will actually read it
"y/n, do I get an autographed copy?"
If you're ever mentioned in literary articles or get rewards, he's immediately posting and bragging about it
"You deserve all of this, y/n. You're amazing."
Will help proof-read or edit it if you want his help
Offers his opinions only if you ask because it's your work after all
Wilbur appreciates every form of art, so he is fully immersed in the entire process of creating your book
Commissions an amazing artist to help create the cover and any illustrations you might want
Might offer his suggestions on how the plot could progress as a story man himself
Literally can't stop bragging about how good your writing is
"Guys, y/n wrote this. My y/n."
Won't let you spoil a single thing about the book
Doesn't even want to know the main character's name
He'll video his reaction as he reads
Will send you long paragraphs about specific parts of your book that he analyzed
Puts a link to your book everywhere
Makes his mods spam it in his chat
Encourages conversations about your book while on stream, and he might even have you on to discuss parts of your novel
Sends you fan art he finds
Begs and begs for you to tell him the ending before the book comes out
Brags that he got to read your book before it was officially published to the public
Has a Twitter thread that's literally just him tweeting every time he's reading your book
Will barge onto other people's streams just to promo your book before leaving
Heavily encourages you to make a sequel or two
Offers rewards for a certain amount of book sales
Is just genuinely so proud of you and impressed with your work
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The Date Jar: April
Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!Reader
Word Count: 2.1k
Includes: kissing, mentions (but no consumption of) alcohol
A/N: This is part of The Date Jar series, but it can be read as a stand-alone piece as well ♥️
Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
There weren’t many things Spencer wouldn’t do for you. He would go eight extra stops on the Metro and back to get you cupcakes from your favorite bakery, search high and low to find you an autographed copy of your favorite album, or write you a ten-page letter declaring his love for you after a too close for comfort scare at work.
But apparently, going to a paint and sip class was a bit too much.
April 1st came and went, and with it came the picking of the month’s date jar stick. You woke up that morning with every intention of staying in bed all day, and Spencer was quick to agree.
Lazy Sunday mornings with him by your side were a rarity and spending them anywhere but in each other’s arms was a disgrace in both of your books.
But a quick trip out of bed to get the date jar was an absolute exception.
Regardless, leaving bed was a battle against Spencer’s murmured protests and grabby hands, but with a well-timed kiss to his lips you were able to slip through his grasp and make your way to the kitchen.
A soundtrack of playful whines and groans from Spencer accompanied your journey there, and with each step there was one thing on your mind first and foremost.
Thank the universe for lazy Sundays.
Jar in hand, you collapsed against his chest once more, nuzzling your head against his collarbone while his fingers gently traced patterns on your spine.
Each trace was accompanied by a soft kiss. To your temple, to your cheek, to your jaw, to your lips.
Anywhere he could reach, really- and you were not complaining.
On the sixth press of his lips against yours, you reluctantly pulled away, allowing your mouths to meet for a final peck before moving into a sitting position.
Apparently Spencer had other plans.
“Can we-,” your words were cut off as he chased your lips for another kiss, and you couldn’t help but smile as your mouths met. It was a series of clashing teeth and breathless laughs, a kiss filled to the brim with passion and love.
Plain and simple, it was happiness. If breathing wasn’t a necessity, you’d more than willingly stay in that spot for the rest of your life.
But unfortunately, it was. And you had a date to pick.
Pulling away once more, you squeezed his thigh gently, relishing in the way his lovestruck eyes met yours.
Voice filled with mirth, you raised an eyebrow in your boyfriend’s direction. “Ya know, I’m pretty sure you tried kissing me just like this last time we had to pick a date, Spencer- is this your thing now?”
Cheeks flushed, but with a surprising amount of confidence he laid his hand over yours and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Kissing you is always my thing, Y/N”.
Somebody’s been taking lessons from Derek- you’d have to thank him.
With a playful eyeroll you grabbed the jar from the heap of blankets it had made its way to and handed it to him. “Alright Romeo, wanna shake the jar for me?”
He did so diligently, rainbow popsicle sticks clattering together as his hand shook in a pattern.
Three shakes. Pause. Six Shakes. Pause. Two Shakes. Pause. Four shakes-
With the final shake he held the jar out with an upturn of his lips and with closed eyes you brought your hand to the lid, your eyes fluttering open once you pulled one out and placed it in the palm of your hand.
Holding it out to Spencer, you both read the words gracing the purple stick at the same time.
‘Get drunk (on each other) and go to a Paint and Sip class!’
At that, two very different reactions filled the room: Spencer was sighing while you were cheering.
Confusion graced your features, but before you had a chance to ask if everything was okay Spencer’s voice filled the room.
“Babe, you were here when we made tie dye shirts, right? Did you see what my shirt looked like?” his hands were moving at a rapid pace, every inch of him absolutely appalled that you were excited for something he was sure would be a disaster.
At that, you couldn’t help but smile. His tie-dye shirt from February had gone through quite the journey. The rainbow colors seeped together until he ended up with a black shirt speckled with purple, and Spencer was horrified by the sight of his shirt compared to your flawless rainbow one.
But, you loved it with every fiber of your being- because it was made by him.
Spencer claimed that wasn’t a good enough reason, but you knew he’d say the same if the roles were reversed.
You hummed, shifting until you were hovering over him once more. “Mm-hm I was here, and I love that shirt- just like I’m going to love whatever painting you make. Wanna know why?”
Your question was accompanied by a kiss to his jaw, and suddenly painting was the last thing on Spencer’s mind. But when he looked up and saw you were waiting for a response, he shook his head no while he moved his hands to your hips.
“Because you made it. And it’s just for fun, Spence! We can make the worst paintings ever and no one’s gonna care- plus isn’t painting good for you?”
“It is- it’s actually been proven to strengthen memory because of visualization and implementation of designs. It’s also seen as an extremely effective form of stress relief, primarily because of its relaxing nature,” his words came out in a breath, and you smiled, kneeling down to place a lingering kiss against his lips.
As you pulled back, you slightly tugged his upper lip between both of yours, instantly diving back into the painting discussion at hand to Spencer’s disbelief.
“Exactly! I think it’ll be good for us, but if you’d rather do something else we can always change up the date- maybe just get dinner and go for a walk or something? I think there’s a place downtown that has painting classes though, we can look to see if there’s any we like first,” your words were rushed, excitement evident on your features as you moved to leave bed and grab your laptop.
And Spencer loved how happy you were. If he could bottle up the feeling he got when he saw you like this he would do so without a second thought, choosing to hold it close to his heart for the rest of eternity.
But, right now, painting was still very much the last thing on his mind.
His hands grasped onto your hips a touch tighter, and your brows furrowed as you looked down at him.
“Can we talk about painting later? Right now I just really wanna kiss you”.
And, well. He certainly didn’t have to ask you twice.
A week later, you and Spencer found yourselves at a Paint and Sip restaurant downtown with Shirley Temples in your hand. There were four other couples present, and while the instructor put the finishing touches on her work station, you all chatted aimlessly.
Next to you, a couple was drinking glasses of Pinot Grigio, and upon seeing your drinks the woman closest to you let out a slight chuckle, nostalgia present on her features.
“I used to drink those all the time- when I was in high school my friends and I would knot cherry stems using our tongues to see who was the best kisser. And,” she turned to her girlfriend with a gleam in her eyes, “I was able to knot mine every time”. At that, the pair leaned in for a kiss while Spencer moved to whisper in your ear.
“I don’t see how tying a cherry stem means you’re a good kisser. I can see how people would think that was the case because of the oral dexterity one would need to have in order to form a knot without using their hands, but there’s so much more to kissing. There’s the importance of hand placement and-”
His spiel was cut off by the beginning of the lesson, and as the teacher began to explain the differing brushes in relation to the painting as a whole, you leaned your head on his shoulder to murmur in his ear.
“You definitely don’t need to be able to tie a cherry stem with your tongue to prove you’re a good kisser, Spence- trust me, I already know”.
He coughed at your words, and you couldn’t help but laugh in response.
Maybe if you two paid a little more attention to the lesson, your paintings would’ve been better- but that was a story for another time.
Instead, you were trying to sort out your brushes on a whim, the rest of the class three steps ahead of you and Spencer in their task of painting a cabin overlooking a pristine lake.
The instructor’s painting was beautiful- hues of blue and purple swirled together to create a tranquil sky, the first spattering of stars present on the horizon, and a charming cabin with steam coming out of the chimney, the reflection of the home present on the face of the lake.
Yours and Spencer’s paintings though? Not so much.
“The paintings always look so easy, and then I try to follow along and it looks like a five year old made it in art class,” you murmured towards Spencer, shaking your head in amusement.
He was biting his lip in concentration, trying his hardest to dot a spattering of stars against the dark blue sky of his canvas with the back part of his paintbrush, but he chucked at your words and his dotted star quickly became a line spanning from the edge of the painting to the top of the chimney.
His mouth opened in surprise, and yours followed suit. For a moment, you both stared at each other in disbelief until your laughs filled the room.
“It can be a shooting star?” your proclamation sounded more like a question, and the wide grin on his face told you everything you needed to know.
Any worries he had about messing up the painting had dissipated, and instead, he was embracing the fun you were sure Penelope had anticipated when she picked this date as one of your activities.
So, why not join him?
You followed suit and made a matching shooting star on your own painting, and the sparkle in his eyes at your action had you falling in love all over again.
You’d do anything to keep that smile on his face.
You continued to work in silence, and while neither of your paintings came out that bad, you certainly weren’t going to be entered in an art show anytime soon.
“I mean this in the nicest way babe,” you said to Spencer while you walked hand in hand to the car, “but we don’t even need one of these paintings in the apartment, let alone two”.
Spencer chuckled, swaying his painting in the hand that wasn’t firmly placed in yours as he murmured his agreement.
Once at the car, the paintings were gently placed in the trunk and you made your way to the drivers seat as Spencer got situated in the passenger side.
You drove in a comfortable silence, turning down your street as an idea popped into your head.
“We can always give one to Penelope! She’d love it,” you knew without a doubt that Penelope would embrace the painting with pride, and it would probably end up front and center in her living room.
“She probably would, but there’s no way Derek wouldn’t burn it while she was sleeping- have you seen our paintings?” Spencer’s retort was quick, and your cheeks burned with the force of the laughter and smiles you had sported all day.
And in that moment, wrapped in the comforting cloak of your love and happiness a singular memory popped into Spencer’s brain.
A week ago, Emily caught him browsing engagement rings during his lunch break. He wasn’t necessarily looking, but that didn’t stop him from bookmarking the page for future use.
With a twinkle in her eye and a curious grin, she had clasped him on the shoulder and asked if he was ‘finally gonna put a ring on it’.
He had shut his laptop in a hurry, unsure of what to say because was he? One second he was reading an article on theoretical chemistry, and the next he was looking at rings. Was he really ready to ‘put a ring on it’?
But looking at you now, the car parked and your head thrown back in laughter as you talked to Penelope on the phone, two words kept swirling through his brain, getting louder and louder in its repetition, determined to get their point across.
Thanks for reading! If you’d like to join my taglist you can do so here ♡
Permanent Taglist: @calm-and-doctor @reidyoulikeabook @shadyladyperfection @homoose @rigatonireid @singularityjc @reblogsoffanfics @sapphic-prentiss @wheelsup @drspencerreidd @meganskane @goldentournesol @ssavanessa22 @alltooreid @miahelen @takeyourleap-of-faith @kuolonsyoja @spencerreid-187 @wifenumberfour @ssa-m-187 @drayshadow
Spencer Taglist: @averyhotchner @muffin-cup @dayrin085 @spencerreid9 @dilucs-cum-sock @awritingtree @randomficsandshit @reidaissance @stylesgubler @onyourfingertips @winifrede @maddievevo @graciereid @tvandfanfic @csloreen @rexorangecouny @idonotexiste
Date Jar Taglist: @starfiresupernova @saspencereid @sammywilscn @shamelessfangirl-3 @anxiousblanketqueen @luvofyourlifeliv @ssa_githae @mostclevermiss @need-more-time @graciereid @butterflyactress @idonotexiste
Broken Tags: @csloreen @ssa_githae @butterflyactress
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