#avas demon spoilers

[avasdemonedits]

Same outfit as she's declaring Wrathia's death vs Pedri whispering to her(???) I wonder if we'll see this flashback in full.

#avasdemon #avas demon #avas demon update #avas demon spoilers #ava's demon #ava demon #webcomic #comic #spoilers

[demon-time]

nevy honey i think your scaring him

#Gil must be having some SEVERE whiplash rn from nevy being like no don’t hurt anyone :( #to being like lol yeah I want wrathias head on a plate #avas demon #ava's demon #avas demon update #avas demon spoilers #avas demon gil #gil marverde #nevy nervine

[fanlovedlt]

Spoilers for today’s update!!!

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Spoilers below!!!!

Like I cannot lie, Nevy was one of my most favorite demons in this comic morally because of how she was so compassionate towards Gil and very sweet to him. She in my opinion is the one who had the most outfit changes throughout the comic.

Like, if you were to ask me, which demon would I not mind wanting to hang out of the main four? I would choose her without a doubt, because I would just be there glancing at her and enjoying her presence even if she acts like this!

Now to get serious on why I’m talking about her, besides me fawning over her, I was looking at her outfit and the accessories that made me started to realized that her outfit is the exact same one on the image below:

She is probably trying to remember the time where, and this is by a theory from someone else not me, that her and Pedri were trying to overthrow Wrathia on the throne and this was them planning it out.

So this means that while she has a few memories coming back to her, she is still not fully recovered all of her memories because then she wouldn’t questioned why she wanted Wrathia to be dead.

So we are definitely gonna be seeing more of her past and trying to figure out what happened and how her behavior starts to change after remembering her entire lifespan.

#avas demon #praise this art❤️ #ava’s demon #ava's demon #ava ire #art #artists on tumblr #Nevy Nervine #avasdemonupdate #avas demon spoilers #my favorite demon #and my favorite character #💜💜💜 #💕💕💕 #🩵💜

[shslflamingarrow]

hm. only 3?

#is gil not coming? #Ava’s demon #avas demon spoilers #ad spoilers #Odin arrow

[mettywiththenotes]

I can't believe it. It's been years, and the ship is finally landing!!!

#i mean how long were they even on that ship for #an hour or smthg? #they're going to meet erios!!! #avas demon #ava's demon #avas demon spoilers #ava's demon spoilers #mettys posts #metty posts

[multiplebirthinwebcomics]

Multiple Births

Round 1 Poll 1

Read Paranatural

Read Ava's Demon

No propaganda yet for those contestants

#multibirth tournament #tournament polls #round 1 #webcomics #webcomic #indie webcomic #indie comics #comicblr #paranatural #paranatural spoilers #ava's demon #avas demon

[screamingwiththewolves]

I love Ava's Demon (i'm very, very behind though XD) because it goes from being relatively tame to sOME OF THE MOST HORRIFIC VISUALS I'VE EVER SEEN, in like a single page.

this comic made me go from "ooh, demons and pretty visuals." to stunned, horrified silence. Even my brain went silent.

#ava's demon #please no spoilers XD #like...it's so creepy and well done

[feeling-high-with-pride]

Notes on Today’s Stream!

I haven’t been able to make most of Michelle’s streams lately due to life being busy but I managed to watch back today’s one! Here’s some notes that I kept track of that I thought were exciting!

- Next Book coming out on Skybound through Kickstarter sometime “this fall” - Will be Odin-themed as it matches the arc that goes through Odin’s backstory - Maggie’s will come after as the next arc revolves around her and Erios “teaming up” - Not sure if there will be an official Erios cover (Initial thought would be 7 books for 7 Deadly Sins, but now just may be 4) - A possible 5th book that may be Strategos-themed - Glasses are an important thing for Odin bc he can “see things” (Could be a reference to Pedri’s third eye? Sight is a very prominent motif for Odin’s character as he tends to be able to perceive things others can’t)

Don’t forget to check out Michelle’s streams on Twitch when you can! 

And down below we have the Prismmates and their instruments! I only today learned their names. They look so cool! 

#ava's demon #avasdemon #ava's demon spoilers #spoilers #ava's demon stream #these characters look awesome! #i can't wait to see more honestly

[ava-does-dumbassery]

The thing about fandom is that I can draw characters and make jokes about them but I can’t write about them. I’m always afraid that I’m misunderstanding them or getting them wrong somehow. Like I’m picking up someone else’s toys and breaking them.

Except Renfield. Renfield is mine now, I’m confiscating him from Stoker. I understand what it’s like to be epileptic and under the control of an abusive psych ward worker who is baffled by your condition (plus there’s this asshole demon in your head, that’s a whole thing) better than Bram the Lombrosso fanboy does. GIVE HIM TO ME I NEED HIM HE’S MINE NOW

#I don’t have time to explain the demon thing here but don’t worry it wasn’t real for me #dracula #rm renfield #dracula daily #dracula spoilers #actually epileptic #ava has thoughts #tw caps #renfield

[smokestarrules]

Please explain warrior nun to me. I wasn’t interested at first but you make it seem so cool I want to learn :)

I WILL explain it to you. Saddle up because I'm prepared to ramble. There will be spoilers. If you'd like another summary w/o spoilers, let me know!

First: our main character, Ava Silva. At the start of the show, she's a paraplegic and orphaned 19 year-old girl who is, quite literally, dead in the first scene. She is snarky, a little clueless but not innocent, and most importantly, she wants more than anything to live.

This is Sister Beatrice!!! She's the love interest, technically, but she's not the only one (just more of an important character than the other), and she's also so much more than that. She is a prodigious warrior who fights for the OCS; The Order of the Cruciform Sword, which is a sect of Catholic nuns that fight demons for the good of the people. She is good at everything with the exception of Not Being Gay, which is, incidentally, the reason she was sent to a Catholic boarding school in the first place. Suffice to say, her parents suck.

There's also a wide cast of incredible characters; we have (from right to left) Mary, who is The Coolest and also, somehow, more of an older sister figure than the actual sisters; Lilith, who's a bit of a bitch but we still love her, Father Vincent, who's also a bit of a bitch but we tolerate him, and then on the far left, there's Camila, who is simultaneously the Cutest and also the Smartest. (also not pictured here is Mother Superion, whom we also love.)

This show has so many good women characters. You will become obsessed with at least one of them. At least.

Essentially, Warrior Nun's plot depends on the use of the Halo, which is a literal Angel's Halo (or is it?) that fuses itself to the spine of one special nun, the Warrior Nun, who is then given the ability to see demons and also other various superpowers. However, because of its immense power, demons and other forces are constantly trying to seize the Halo for themselves, and due to a tragic series of events, a panicked nun has to give Ava the Halo.

Ava, who is dead at the time.

And it brings her back to life. Not only that, but it gives her the ability to walk for the first time since she was, like, four years old. Also, it gives her superpowers, too, but whatever.

So basically, Warrior Nun is about Ava trying to balance her will to live her life now alongside with the new duties that the OCS are trying to put on her. They can't take the Halo out, because it may kill her. Something something jesus parallels, something something taking the time to have the characters work things out for themselves, and you get this show. I cannot emphasize enough the character writing.

(Also it has one of the best sapphic slowburns I've seen in a show ever. They hit so many good tropes in such a well-paced manner. I can't even describe how well they're written. What the fuck.)

So. Watch Warrior Nun. We need a season 3!!

#this show is just. so good. SO good you guys #season one is a solid 8/10 #season two is 11/10 at LEAST #watch it. please #warrior nun #ava silva #sister beatrice #shotgun mary #sister lilith #sister camila #father vincent #mother superion

[avasdemonedits]

Holy shit the farms. Its been 10 years!

#avas demon #avasdemon #avas demon update #avas demon spoilers #spoilers #webcomic #comic #ava's demon #avasdemonedits

[demon-time]

we got an update full of nothing ✨ lol

#I mean it’s something I guess but. #really. #after waiting months this is it. #and of course there’s another kickstarter #avas demon #ava's demon #avas demon spoilers #avas demon update

[fanlovedlt]

Best avas demon update ever spoiler alert:

New meme quality panels:

Gay panic and wtf moments LOL.

#avas demon #ava’s demon #ava ire #art #artists on tumblr #gil marverde #maggie lacivi #memes #funny memes #meme #webcomics #avas demon spoilers #avas demon update

[shslflamingarrow]

is this anything

#Ava’s demon #avas demon #Ava’s demon update spoilers #Ava’s demon spoilers #making avas demon theories is a lot like being a swiftie #in that you look a little like that raving conspiracy board gif whenever you talk

[taintedevesayori]

Meet Sayo and Her Friends

Tainted Eve Masterlist

Sayo's Route Masterlist

Rules For Interactions

Roleplay is welcomed and encouraged!

Asks are also welcomed and encouraged! Feel free to send asks to Sayo specifically, Sayo and her friends, or to me as the admin for general asks.

I used to be an admin for the blog dboliklover and wrote head cannons, short fics and such in response to asks.

NSFW asks are allowed.

Due to this also being a blog for my oc, I won’t do matchups.

Asks and roleplay for the Obey me! crossover are also welcome!

~Mod Ava

Sayori Makina, nickname Sayo

Age: 17 at the start of story, 18 at death

Birthday: July 5th

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Hobbies: Reading, singing, guitar, gardening

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite food: Parfaits

Favorite drink: Tea

Personality

As a child, Sayori was introverted due to her need to stay out of everyone’s way at the church she grew up in. She slowly grew more sociable as she befriended Emi, even more so after befriending Kisa and Lei, and later Rena. She still keeps her circle of friends small, though, despite being able to socialize with others in her class.

She is serious about her academics and excels in her classes. Her worst subject is history when needing to remember a plethora of dates and time periods.

With her friends she becomes extroverted, ready to try anything to have fun with her friends. This is why she learns to play the guitar so that she can make music with them. She eventually picked up sarcasm and sass from Kisa, moving away from being more of a quiet person.

She is incredibly stubborn, which constantly gets in the way of the Adam and Eve plan. When she has a grudge against someone, she doesn’t let it go. This shows in her hatred of Karlheinz. She is not afraid to defend herself despite not having any sort of training. She always carries a cheap silver pocket knife she bought herself, and later a nicer one as well that Karlheinz gave her as a peace offering. She has quick reflexes, which helps immensely when defending herself. She has tried to attack Karlheinz multiple times despite each time ending in failure.

When she cares about people, she loves deeply. All she wants is for her life with her friends to stay the same because they are the only thing that matters in her life.

She greatly admires Yui for still being able to smile after how badly she’s been treated by the Sakamaki brothers. She feels guilty that she became an Eve because she rejected her role.

Backstory

(These next sections contain spoilers for my story, Tainted Eve. You can find this on Wattpad under my account AvaTrinityFae if you are interested in reading. There are details here that elaborate on the story. The rewrite is currently being posted on here and on Wattpad.)

Sayori is a half founder and was adopted as a baby. Her birth parents, her father a founder and her mother a human, gave her to Karlheinz to protect her from the Endzeit disease spreading through the demon world. The three make a deal, Karlheinz will seal her demon blood and disguise her as a human in a human family. In return, she would be used as his Eve in his Adam and Eve plan once she was older. Her parents were reluctant but ready to do anything to protect her.

Karlheinz gives her to the owners of a local church, Kizuna and Ayumi Makina. The church was not doing well at the time and they could not ignore the large sum of money he was offering despite not wanting to take the child. They tolerated her as she was growing up and left her care mostly to the nuns. Her older brother, Shiro, did not like the hands off nature of her care so he did his best to also look after her. Because of this, they became incredibly close.

The first time she meets Karlheinz at age seven, Shiro tells her to run because he had overheard meetings between that man and their parents, meaning he knew of their plan for Sayo’s future and that he was a vampire. Sayo only runs after Shiro says god will protect him. Karlheinz then kills Shiro because he feels having a protector will ruin his plans for her. Her belief in god shatters when she returns to find Shiro killed. After that, she began to act out, having violent outbursts while at the church. She was caught by the nuns multiple times while destroying things and yelling that god does not exist because he didn’t protect Shiro. Ayumi and Kizuna blame her for his death and from then on ordered the nuns to treat her cruelly. They were unable to throw her out or kill her, and instead wanted to make her wish for death instead. After a while, any physical punishments from the nuns wouldn’t phase her after constantly being subjected to them. She also blames herself for Shiro’s death, and deep down believes this is her punishment for abandoning him.

Sayo was introverted as a child. She became friends with Emi in primary school due to them both spending lots of time after school in the library. Emi was shy but pushed herself to talk to Sayo because they both liked the same sorts of books.

The two both became more sociable after meeting Kisa. Emi greatly admired Kisa due to her having many of the qualities she lacked as a person. When Kisa realized this, she continued to try to befriend Emi, and consequently Sayo due to Emi hiding behind her because of her shy nature. Eventually Kisa succeeds and the two befriend her and Lei, who Kisa had befriended due to their shared love of music.

Kisa eventually teaches Sayo to play the guitar when the girls decide they want to play music together. Lei learned to play the drums as a child, Kisa had learned to play the bass and guitar, and Emi had learned to play the piano. They elected Sayo as their lead singer, although all of the girls sing during songs as well. Kisa especially has many duets with her. At first, the band started off as just writing songs together for fun until Kisa got them a spot to play in a small local festival. From there, they decided to play any event they could to put themselves out there until landing a permanent spot at a dance club.

The group spends time with each other after school, working on homework or just socializing. Emi struggles with academics and procrastination, so it began partially to help her but partially to help Sayo spend as little time at the church as possible. They spend the night at Kisa’s house every Friday and have band practice on Saturday.

She learns of the Adam and Eve plan shortly after beginning high school. Karlheinz believes the plan will go more smoothly if she accepts her role and willingly moves in with either the Sakamaki or Mukami brothers. She rejects her role due to her unwillingness to be toyed with by vampires, and more importantly because he killed Shiro. He does what he can to change her mind, including introducing her to Yui. Yui believes she’s another prospective bride and tells her about her treatment by the Sakamaki brothers, leading to Sayo rejecting her role more strongly.

Life with the Mukami brothers

During her second year of high school, Karlheinz decides the only way she will accept her role is by finding Adam. Due to her personality, he decides she will be a better fit for the Mukami brothers. He gives her a week to get close to them and instructs the brothers to kidnap her if she refuses.

Kou and Yuma attempt to interact with her but she does everything possible to avoid them. Eventually, Kou decides to prove it isn’t as easy as she thinks and goes up to her and Kisa, asking to talk to her. Kisa runs off, allowing Kou to drag her to an empty classroom. He becomes interested in her when she shows concern for him and decides he’s going to be her Adam. The boys kidnap her that same night after school.

The boys make a deal with her once she wakes up. In exchange for her living with them and trying to find Adam, they won’t interfere with her life with her friends. Karlheinz warned them this would most likely be the only way the arrangement will work. They are secretly relieved that they won’t have to act as cruel as the Sakamaki brothers like they did with Yui. (For those questioning if this is in character, In Kou’s route, he expressed that acting like the Sakamakis left a bitter taste in his mouth in a converstion with Ruki when they first kidnapped Yui.)

Kou agrees to leave her alone at school but in turn consistently wants her attention while at home. At first she thinks he’s an annoyance but learns to get along with him. She sees Azusa as a cute little brother type and likes to help Yuma in the garden. Occasionally she helps Ruki in the kitchen. It bothers the brothers that she originally refuses to tell her friends she moved in with them, only telling them she moved out of the church because her parents basically sold her off. They only find out when Kou and the brothers show up to one of the bands performances. Kou barges into their dressing room after the performance and spills it to them.

Over time, she steadily grows closer with Kou since he refuses to leave her alone. However, her rejection of her role as Eve constantly gets in the way of admitting her feelings for him and their relationship progressing.

Eventually the Sakamaki brothers find out about Sayo and become suspicious of the reason she is with them. After Shu contacts Karlheinz, he tells Shu to leave her be, that she’s important to a plan of his. This causes the brothers to attempt to kidnap her to prevent the Mukami brothers from getting any benefits from their father. Yui comes to warn them before the attack.

Sayo and Yui hide in the basement during the attack. The Sakamakis follow her scent to the basement where the fight then continues. Kanato and Azusa are fighting outside of their hiding spot. When Kanato attempts to stab Azusa, Sayo jumps in front of him because she knows Azusa won’t be able to dodge. She dies in Azusa’s arms. Her death breaks the seal of her demon blood, showing her a memory of her parents explaining why they gave her up and reviving her as the half founder she was born as. Due to her demon blood, she has an affinity with snakes and is able to turn into one.

After her revival, she admits to Kou that she loves him and they make their relationship official.

After graduation, Sayo moves out with her friends to go to college out of town. Kou let’s her go without a fight as long as she promises to marry him when she graduates. The two consistently visit each other. The band’s popularity sky rockets when they write a song together with Kou.

The Alternative

In an alternate fate, Sayori moves in with the Sakamaki brothers and ends up in a love triangle between Laito and Reiji.

Laito enjoys teasing and harassing her, which gets on her nerves. This consistently ends in the two arguing. Their relationship is volatile until she sees him playing piano one day. The urge to put lyrics to his song was so tempting that she began singing without thinking. The music room becomes the one place they get along without fail. They are able to talk normally to one another, which slowly causes Laito to fall for her.

She also becomes close with Reiji. She sees him as the most reasonable member of the family, and although he has a problem with her carefree attitude at times, he respects her for her determination and willingness to work for what she wants. The two end up in a routine of having tea together before leaving for school, which is a peaceful and enjoyable time for the both of them. Being able to get along with her surprises him at first but he has to admit she isn’t an annoyance towards him like the rest of the family.

Laito becomes increasingly jealous of her relationship with Reiji and tries to act possessive over her. His attempts at showing his affection outside of the music room tend to backfire, pushing her away. Reiji takes advantage of these moments, partially because he grows more fond of her but also to antagonize Laito.

During a particularly nasty argument, Laito asks why she has such a problem with his methods of flirting and she snaps back that she wants him to see her as anything other than just another girl to fuck before storming off. This is where fate splits.

If Laito goes after her, she accidentally confesses that she didn’t fall for the flirting, she fell for the person she spends time with in the music room.

If Laito storms off as well, Reiji finds her soon after and tells her that it’s annoying to see her so gloomy. She is baffled and asks if she should go elsewhere. He then says that she should and asks “shall we make it a date then?”. She comments that his attempt was a little smooth before agreeing. As the two are leaving, Laito spots them. He was looking for her to try to make up after the fight and is enraged when learning from Shu that Reiji asked her on a date.

If Sayo chooses Reiji in the end, Laito kills her in a jealous rage. If she chooses Laito, she dies after her mind is hijacked by Cordelia’s spirit, which allows Cordelia to kill her because she refuses to let Laito find happiness after the part he played in her death.

After dying, the seal on her demon blood breaks, showing her a memory of her parents explaining why they gave her up and reviving her as the half founder she was born as. Due to her demon blood, she has an affinity with snakes and is able to turn into one.

After graduation she goes on to college in another town, moving in with her friends. Depending on who she chooses, Reiji or Laito decide to kill Karlheinz before proposing. She agrees on the condition they wait until after she graduates.

Extra Interactions: Sayo’s friends

Kisa Fujimoto

Age: 17 at start of story

Birthday: April 7th

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Kisa is one of Sayo’s best friends. To others, it seems like she’s the leader of the group, although there really is none. She is the most outgoing and energetic of the four. She is stubborn, sarcastic, and can be sassy, which rubbed off on Sayo after a while. She is unsure of what she wants to do for her career, but knows she wants to go to college with the others and keep the band going.

She is the leader of their band, Bitter Step, and plays the bass. She taught Sayo how to play guitar and left the lead vocals to her because they all agreed Sayo has the best voice of the four. They all sing, however, and have many songs that include all four of them. Kisa and Sayo specifically have many duets.

She has four siblings, an older sister and three younger brothers. Her older sister is married with twin babies. She often doted on kisa as a child, which led to kisa doting on her younger siblings in return. She is family oriented and enjoys helping out with the kids.

Over the years, Kisa and Emi began to realize they have romantic feelings for one another. They aren’t in an official relationship until college but many are able to tell they are romantically involved before that.

Leiko Koizumi, nickname Lei

Age: 16 at start of story

Birthday: December 30th

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Leiko is one of Sayo’s best friends. She is the most serious of the group. She is often seen carrying around a planner, where she keeps track of the many things she does, whether that be her volunteer work, hanging out with her friends, or other extracurriculars meant to give her a leg up for college. She plans on studying biology in college.

Lei grew up learning how to play the drums. She always had a love for music, which caused her and Kisa to bond quickly when they first met. She is all for starting a band when Kisa first brought it up.

Lei has a protective older brother. Both her and Sayo had to stop him from barging into the church when he overheard them talking about the harsh treatment she receives from her adoptive parents and the nuns. He was always ready to do what he could for Lei and her friends but felt like he had to be even more protective of Sayo after learning of that.

Lei is the most perceptive one of the group and is able to pick up on many of the changes in Sayo as their story progresses. She wants her and everyone else to know that they can turn to her for support whenever they need it.

Emi Akiyama

Age: 17 at start of story

Birthday: February 20th

Zodiac: Pisces

Emi is one of Sayo’s best friends. She is the shy one of the group. Emi is very in tune with her own and other people’s feelings. She often feels that the pain the people she cares about feels is her own. She can be a bit spacey and tends to procrastinate, finding other things to do as an excuse for not doing schoolwork. She enjoys baking sweets for her parents and friends to enjoy. She wants to study nursing in college.

Emi learned to play piano and how to sew from her mother as a child. Her mother is undergoing treatment for cancer, but still finds the time to make outfits for the girls to perform in when she has the energy. Emi was the most reluctant to form a band due to her shy nature and stage fright but eventually decided it would be fun for the four of them. The more they performed, the more confidence she gained until it became completely natural for her.

Over the years, Kisa and Emi began to realize they had romantic feelings for one another. They aren’t in an official relationship until college but many are able to tell they are romantically involved before that.

Rena Mikijima

Age: 17 at start of story

Birthday: July 27th

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Rena is one of Sayo’s friends. She is the sort of person that hops around friend groups, so she has plenty of friends that want her attention. Still, she considers herself closer to Sayo and her group over her other friends. Her personality is similar to Kisa’s in the fact they are both outgoing and energetic. She is more feminine, however, and not as sarcastic. She can be a big flirt when the mood strikes her and enjoys flaunting when dancing with the girls.

During their second year of high school, Rena became the president of the art club. That occupies her free time after school, preventing her from spending as much time with the girls as she did during their first year. She wants to study art in college.

Rena is not a member of the band but she supports them in whatever way she can when possible. She enjoys going out to dance with the girls, along with shopping. She becomes ecstatic when Sayo admits she needs new clothes after moving out of the church and plans a shopping trip for everyone, determined to find clothes that suit her so she can help Sayo create a full wardrobe.

She does go to the same college as the girls but does not move in with them, instead choosing to find her own place with her boyfriend she met at the end of their second year of high school. 

Crack Obey Me! Crossover

This idea takes place as a bad end to the love triangle between Laito and Reiji. Sayo does not accept Reiji’s feelings. Laito does not know this, however, and only knows Reiji tried to steal her away. He still kills her in a jealous rage.

Sayo is so hurt by this that she decides she can no longer stand living there. She confesses to Yui that she plans on leaving and asks if she wants to join. Sayo had become a major support system and close friend to Yui, so she decides that she doesn’t think she could take it if Sayo leaves. She agrees to run away together.

With her newfound knowledge of the demon world, she decides that they’ll escape to the other demon realm, Devildom. Diavolo finds them amidst their escape. At first, he is suspicious of the fact a founder is attempting to get into the Devildom. However, he is able to tell she is telling the truth when Sayo tells him their story. He helps them settle into life in Devildom under the condition that their memories of their time living with the Sakamaki brothers be erased, so there’s no changing their minds and going back to them.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik oc #diabolik brothers #diabolik boys #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers boys #diabolik lovers oc #dbl #ayato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #raito sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #shu sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #kou mukami #ruki mukami #shin tsukinami #carla tsukinami #karlheinz sakamaki #diabolik lovers ayato #diabolik lovers kanato #diabolik lovers laito #diabolik lovers reiji #diabolik lovers shu #diabolik lovers subaru #diabolik lovers kou #diabolik lovers yuma #diabolik lovers ruki

[daisychainsandbowties]

Oh Casper: 4, 5, and 9 (🥺)

4. what are some themes you love writing about?

fascination is definitely one. writing about characters who are captivated by the world and touch it very reverently both physically and with language.

most of my ocs are like that, and i also explore it through ava and beatrice in different ways. for beatrice it’s often physics and the raw mechanics of the universe; for ava it’s the texturedness of things and how laden with meaning the smallest part of the world can be.

then there’s fascination in a romantic sense. love as fascination. it’s definitely woven into the fabric of how my characters look and think and feel about each other. it’s all driven by curiosity because i find that an interesting way to approach love; a person as a puzzle and then the knowing of them and the being known. to me that feels very much like love. an edge of it, maybe.

obviously violence, trauma, grief, and survival are themes i touch on constantly. i find it personally rewarding to explore what it means to survive a terrible thing (or to not-quite survive it, to be changed by it). what it means to live with the scars of that.

how people respond to violence is also a big theme for me, and with that you get themes of trauma, especially the challenge of depicting trauma in prose. there’s an instability inherent in most trauma narratives because of the thing itself. because trauma ruptures time; it unmakes sense of it.

it’s non-linear and often defies any attempt to capture it in language. it’s fear scattered over time and it’s often a specific event that has already happened but is happening now. the again and again and again of bad things, of that which is over, and over, and not.

probably that’s why non-linear narratives are so attractive to me; trauma doesn’t care what’s happening in the story. it’s a winged shape and it’s shapeshifting and it has visitations. it’s a ghost and it’s the monster come to eat you.

and it’s also quiet, aching, helpless. often it refuses speech and cannot be expressed. so the challenge of writing about it and having it as a narrative theme is very appealing to me. it’s an important thing to be able to represent because often it doesn’t let us speak until we adhere to the shape of its telling.

those are obviously just some of the themes i like to write about, but maybe the main ones at this moment in time.

5. what inspires you to write

you know? i really have no idea. part of it is how difficult it is. especially poetry leaves me feeling both drained and also incandescent. i think creating is just such a high and so satisfying - maybe it’s the dopamine chase of “i made a thing”? maybe also a desire to express things i can't get out in any other way

9. a passage from a WIP

from ligaments 8

//

your eyes resect her from the darkness, picking shade out of shade until there is the curl-cropped oval of her face, her hands below brighter than shadows, wrapped around an antique sword she has obviously pried from the cold marble hands of a statue. strange sense tells you that the blade is rust-pitted and weak, that you are twenty feet from her and faster, that her eyes are searching for you in the evacuated dark and there is a gleam of light on your blood, the curling trails of it cast over the flagstones.

you wonder, as pain lights a match in the pit of your stomach, if she will follow that blood to you. if it will take her home, or to her death.

you wonder if she can smell it. the faint, sweet rot that lurks inside the copper tang of your blood. can she feel how space is stretched and uncomfortable in the places where [redacted for spoilers]

beatrice once told you about closed-systems and you hardly believed her, but there’s an ache in the world around the places you dredged the demon out. frayed strands of matter fluttering around the spot where you pushed camila away, where she looked at you as the mouth of red fire swallowed her, and she could not have been safer if you’d taken her in on your tongue.

but the world is wounded, raw, the shadows threaded with stretched tissues. as ever you can only describe it in terms of flesh, as if the universe has anything so tender holding it together. and yet with a hand you can push through it, dip the backs of your knuckles into the scraping wind of the empty desert that is becoming your second home. it’s as easy as breaking the surface of water; it’s as easy as breaking a bone.

but it hurts. you are astonished by this mostly because you can tell the difference between your pain and the blunt thermodynamic pain of the world.

you always wondered what shannon meant, those times when she stood in a place where wraiths had ruptured through, staring up at the walls, tracing her fingers over the churned-up dust on the floor. on one occasion she listed onto her feet after examining a totally unremarkable section of the floor, glancing at you with an atypically maudlin expression.

“you’ll see it one day, lil.” she sounded very certain of this, though her eyes darted back away from you as she spoke, preoccupied with the cracked sections of the world that the halo laid bare for her.

“it takes time, but eventually you start to see the fractures. it’s… i guess it’s kind of like a poorly-set bone.” she winced, fingers reaching up towards her arm without meaning to. they aborted the gesture before it could happen, but you were thrown back nonetheless to the image of shannon braced against a wall, mary pressing her forehead into her shoulder.

they didn’t quite slot together exactly, and in fact the position seemed a little awkward to you from where you stood, white-knuckled. gripping the bumpy, unnatural texture of shannon’s forearm where the halo - in a panic, perhaps, or out of necessity – had reset the bone in a twisted approximation of itself. the flesh sat mutilated, lumpy with misplaced muscle. you had not, until that point, realised that the halo could make mistakes.

you stood as an off-kilter image of mary, one hand up high on shannon’s shoulder, pressing it into the wall. bare brick, or something equally – it felt, in that moment – cruel and uncompromising. your other hand gripped her forearm and she gripped yours back on its underside; the soft slope from wrist to elbow.

mary lifted her face away from where it had sequestered itself against shannon’s broad shoulder. her face set into an expression that made you want to look away, to go away and leave the pair of them alone with their pain.

you remember how she screamed, when mary twisted and twisted until her arm fell apart all over again, light from the halo spilling and crawling and writhing up along the brickwork. shannon, her mouth hanging open in shock, or horror, or something as simple as pain, watched the flow of light as it flickered off into nothing. it struck you as it did, on occasion, that what beatrice said about closed systems could not be true, or accurate. if that light came from God, was there more of it now in the world than there had been?

had shannon, a girl, split the world wide open with the breaking of her body?

“there she goes,” shannon said, and slumped forward into mary’s arms.

which were, as always, waiting for her.

you could not help the comparison then between mary with her body supporting shannon’s and those pictures you’d seen of Christ being taken down off the cross. the ease of that departure, nails slipping easily out of his upper wrist or the ball of his hand. he wouldn’t have cried out at all, or even sighed.

shannon did. both sounds roughshod in her mouth, tangling with each other like two people having sex. on instinct you tried to step forward, to bear the weight, but a look from mary set you in stone. you were not welcome. to mary, perhaps, you were the cross.

so you just stood and looked at them. how they slotted together better in that blood-and-light instant than they ever had before.

#fic: ligaments #ask meme #ty for the ask <3