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me-uglypretty · 3 months

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One of the best prank ever

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Summary: Yelena and Kate fools Peter into a web of lies that eventually creates something more than a mischievous prank. [Loosely based on this incorrect quotes]

Warning: 18+ (G), fake relationships, comedy, pranks, fluff | Word count: 2.9k

| Remember, they’re married! | Notify | Navigation |

A joke was uttered harmlessly into the pleasant space, materialized at a whim, and evolving into something hazardously serious. It was that, neither of them would come to discover who was to blame for such a disobedient indication. If not for the known existence of two culprits, already pattering of their next move, tarnishing what peace that once held—which havoc was meant for outside threats, thus, less nuisance was applauded—and the ones who oath to mischiefs tendencies. An unlikely duo at first glance and the absolute roar of chaos together; Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop.

And alike brilliant ideas, it had begun from a harmless observation. Though, it wasn’t the two friends, a renowned spy, and a witty archer, it was another who had awakened such impish ideas in the head of such operations. It was that voice, an adolescent boy, chattering away cluelessly and who had uttered;

“I saw Natasha in the training room before I came here. She was training with Y/n again— I mean, not in the again, like uh that’s bad, but the— sorry, they’re always training together! They’re such good friends. I like seeing them together, it’s just like me and Ned! We always do things together…our bond is that strong.”

Peter Parker was always mindful of those around, reasonable as he speaks and caring as he offers support without expecting for something in return. He was the youngest among the two friends, often confiding them of his adventures as Spiderman and his ordinary life or merrily gushing about something in the compound. Those known to his behaviour, doesn’t consider more than a young boy’s excitement of working with the Avengers which electrifying high has yet to diminish from his mind.

“I saw them sharing lunch too. But Ned doesn’t really share, he says he will, then he ends liking the food he didn’t order so I end up eating the food that he doesn’t like but ordered…” Peter continued, retelling another tale of his friend from outside the hero business.

He visits the pair occasional, mostly when he had time to spare, since the heavy load of starting university and extended time spend swinging around the neighbourhood. Similarly, they were three the youngest in training and felt more correlating with the other as compared to the older members. If the pair wasn’t there, he occupies his time pestering Tony or exhausting himself with training which had led him to his current position in the kitchen. An hour of training later and he was eager to satiate his hunger.

Yelena and Kate were intently listening to Peter’s usual rambles or more so, exceedingly interested in watching him use his webs to gather ingredients for his sandwich while they sat there, eating their mundane made bowls of cereal. Nods of interest was shared at the one side conversation, till that bubble was popped by Peter’s spike in narration about the two former spies of opposing countries and their incredibly treasured friendship.

His tone resonates of something remarkable about witnessing you and Natasha training together and the murmurs of almost never seeing you both apart. Natasha and Y/n are always together, Peter had acknowledged, tumbling upon more story of the two spies together and the honourable mentions of his own friendship.

At that notable realisation, an idea surface brashly in Yelena’s mind, blossoming sweetly in her broad mind as her lips curls brazenly with a smile at the prospering idea. Peter’s unintentional nature of oversharing at times instigated troubles while some rare moments, a blessing for those around, and it was the sole reason for the fuelling ideas in her head. Those that pleads for her to listen and martialize vague thoughts into brilliant reality, and with that—a story far less innocence than a scene of two friends training together, spending endless time together, and just the idea of them together.

Yelena performed first, conveying the look of disapproval by the shake of her head. Blonde tresses budge at the motion, tickling her cheeks as she brushes strands of her hair away. “Oh no, Peter Parker,” her voice dropped, eyebrows furrowed, and arms crossed, as if contemplating on disclosing a crucial information. “No,” she dragged the word, staring at him like he had candidly shared a confidential information.

This was it, the perfect opportunity, that seldom occasion that roused gleefully in Yelena’s favour and she cherish it, accepting the gracious chance happily. Despite the distinct warnings echoing her head. The voice of her sister, Natasha, taunts her mind with an intimidating glare set on her form and the scolding heard from various voices after. However, the golden opportunity had appeared suddenly, and it offered her a chance of an adventure to prank merrily and verbalizing funny jokes, sometimes far too dangerous too. Yelena rather partakes in activities that wasn’t projected upon her life by other, and enjoy the taste of freedom with it.

It was that, the sweet joy derived from stolen childhood, and the American dream, like those shown on television.

On the other end, Kate was situated in a conflicted position. She wasn’t aware of her friend’s noiseless scheming. Confusion swirls tiresome ideas in her mind at Peter’s tales, the questions of why was stuck at the tip of her tongue, till her gaze flickers to her friend. Those ardent eyes swims in hues of hazel and gleams gleefully, eyebrows quirks and lips pressed together, translating to none other than the common expression of trouble.

The same look that illustrated their ultimate trademark as mischiefs or troublemakers as Clint had proposed, still fuming in annoyance and tired at the unlikely duo of friends.

Conveniently, their shared moniker symbolised the start of their hectic friendship which ensued after the success of their first operation coded as Hawk and Sparks. An apparent dazzling prank involving radiantly colourful glitters and Clint’s most priced weapons, his beloved pair of bow and arrows. The foremost comedic performance or perhaps, scary, depending on who you asked—corresponding to Kate’s rational fear of inciting resentment from her idol and partner—was the exaggerated appearance of said hero’s threatening weapons. A bow glazed in glitters of various hues and each arrow adorned with a specific colour of glitter.

Despite the enrage brought devastatingly upon Clint, the enemies were apprehended swiftly from their bewildered seconds of weakness at witnessing Hawkeye tugging at his weapon and revealing such glowing equipment. It wasn’t the least bit intimidating when sparkling weaponries was their hostile warning.

The wondrous duo of Yelena and Kate, somehow, and frequently, find themselves tangled in one mess after another. It seemed as if, trouble appears on a gleaming golden platter for their joyous consumption.

Only to them, and only for them.

Kate sighed, half concern by the erupt exchange and half struggling to imitate Yelena’s expression. Acting and pretending wasn’t her expertise. “Yeah, very bad,” she pushed, cheeks puffed, and her arms crossed at the scene unfolding before her curious eyes.

It was once terrifying to not know of her friend’s scheming, specifically for someone who had habitually found herself in compromising situations, Yelena’s influence had undoubtedly brewed confidence from being an accomplice to her friend’s ideas. At the stage of their friendship, worry doesn’t itch her throat as she continued her performance to invoke the best realistic lies at every spoken word.

The two friends wordlessly collaborated for their present plan or more so, the inevitable prank, by gazing into each other eyes, the gleaming sort of difference between two, and only known to them as their anticipating mischief. Other had seen this. Peter had watched the scene of them, he was watching them, the exchange and the revelation that came after. Worry looms over him at his friends’ expression. His eyebrow twitches, brains pulling at each thread to recall the decisions he made within the last twenty-four hours.

Peter doesn’t reconsider anything else than something he had done. It must had been his fault. He was different like that, so unlike them. Always genuinely polite, and naturally attentive to conversation. Aunt May taught him the best manners which he promised to preserve. The friendly pose he exhibits was always prominent, either as an average boy or a crime fighting hero, and accurately credited as the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

“What’s wrong? What did I do? Please, I can fix it,” Peter expressed worriedly, fingers drumming nervously on the surface of the grey marble counter. His hunger forgotten as he wondered if the kitchen was always unpleasantly humid, the kind of heat that scorches through his suit and formulate a layer of sweat on his skin, or perhaps, his body was simply steaming from feeling anxious.

Yelena surveyed the scene first. “Do you not know?” she asked, feigning disbelief as she steps warily into his space and pressed her hand firmly on his shoulder.

Peter denied, shaking his head at the supposed information, and sharing a look of nervous between the pair. “It’s bad, isn’t it? It’s about Tony, isn’t it? He thinks of me as too much of a son so he doesn’t want me here anymore.”

The ambitious performance halted at such unexpected revelation. Kate’s eyebrows furrowed as her mouth parted in utter shock, and Yelena remained standing there, both glancing at the other, sharing the same perplexed look at their friend’s fumbling state. Kate mouthed something along the line of, “Daddy issues,” and Yelena nodded her head hastily. “So weird,” she had responded in a similar manner.

Pausing for few seconds, Yelena interjected Peter’s tormented mumblings. “No, no, he doesn’t know!” she makes a clicking sound after, her crimson tongue tapping at the roof of her mouth. She wordlessly announced her exit with a final squeeze of her hand over his shoulder and turning away from his doe eyes.

“Wait!”

A smile curls on her lips, kind of worrisome look for those aware of her brashness. Delight stirs in her chest at her quick-witted scheming. Yelena swiftly spins, immediately masking her pleasure with a miserable frown, aiding to her performance and agony that looms on the poor boy’s hunch posture.

Peter fumbled with his agile fingers, pressing them together on the marble counter. It was a stark contrast from his pale skin to the grey shade, then he stared at it enough to agitate himself into clasping his hands together. Ultimately, his arms fell entirely to his side with a defeated sigh. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I will fix it. I swear,” he promised, and instantly stumbled backward into a stool behind him, Yelena’s swift reflex halted his embarrassing fall. “Sorry, sorry, and thank you…” he shyly scratched the nape of his neck, a red rash appearing at the nervous impulse.

Yelena released an exceptionally long sigh and nodded her head, staring ahead at Peter. “Follow me, Spider-man,” she demanded, promptly taking the steps aways from the kitchen.

There, head of blonde locks bounces to a familiar tune that buzzes at her mumbling, and something that sparked Kate’s mind into trying to remember the song. All while Peter trails behind the two friends quietly. The two friends were discreetly observing their surrounding for any sort of unexpected guest or disruption, and exchanging a pleasant nod with the other at their current prank.

Offices and vacant rooms were insignificant as they passed each one, before standing across the merge of two heavy metal doors. It led to an extensive training room, equipped with various gym equipment and an area for sparring. Out of the three, Kate advanced forward, warily peeking through the rectangle window situated on each side of the door. She met sight of the two occupants, former assassins huffing and exerting their strength by sparring together. Both were completely unaware of prying eyes outside or Peter’s feet anxiously tapping the ground, each struck of noise echoes through the hallway.

Natasha was standing in the middle of the navy-coloured rubber mat, graciously shifting between her bare feet, fists raised securely, and an arrogant smirk curls on her lips. It takes a moment, two bodies round the other, before she swiftly pushed you down with a loud thud. Muddled chuckles was heard soon after. A victorious smile appeared on Natasha’s face while you had scoffed, shaking your head at your defeat, then a smile sneaks onto your face as Natasha uttered something.

It was enough proof for Kate to shift her gaze, meeting Yelena’s awaiting answer and nodding her head in confirmation.

Yelena takes the same steps forward, facing the opposite window from her friend. She leisurely taps the glass with her knuckles. “You see them, yes?”

Faith seems eager by her side, easily following through her plan, when they witness Natasha extending her hand towards you. Unexpectedly, your body plummet into Natasha’s body when you had lost your balance, and she swiftly held you, bodies pressed flushed together. The sheer seconds where eyes met, the undivided attention, the touch of skin, the hands that grasps the other, the corners of full lips lifting with a smile, the shared clumsiness which made those smiles widen. It was the perfect moment.

Yelena beams at the sight. She was witnessing you and Natasha like this, so foolishly relaxed, so easily drawing into her plan like there was an understanding on the extend of where her ideas went.

Peter’s eyes widen more after witnessing the exchange. “Yes— I mean, I guess-- they’re really good friends?”

His innocent perception of such scene had nearly influenced her decision from continuing with her vicious plan. Those doe eyes, high-pitched voice, and legs alike a new born reindeer, tripping with his steps or simply falling into her mischief plotting. It almost urges her intuition to end her plan, dust her shoulder off that mischief dirt, and move forward with a different kind of plan which will surely be another prank.

Almost, that word bears a hefty weight, and Yelena is far stronger than some word.

“You are so wrong. Kate Bishop, tell Spider-man that he’s wrong!” she waved her hand, emphasising the mistake made by the boy, and her friend speedily agreed. Both mirrored the look of disappointment to abet their narrative.

“No! I can’t mess this up.” Peter whined, feeling apprehensive at the possibility of being rejected as an Avenger. One mistake and it’s enough to end everything. He can’t afford that.

Kate, the overly compassionate friend between the two, hurriedly comforted him. “Okay, calm down. Peter, everything will be fine,” she verbalized softly, and taking into consideration of his hyperventilating as her hand pressed firmly on his shoulder. “Let’s listen to what Yelena has to say, okay?” she proposed as she discreetly sends a pointed look at her friend.

Out of everything that Kate had learned, either willingly or unwillingly, on the topic surrounding Yelena—the most palpable trait of her friend was her constant desire to dramatized situations with the ultimate purpose of agitating said person. She had mentioned once or twice of how it was amusing to witness people stir by the simple work of her words. However, Kate isn’t too keen about it, the first time she experienced still instigates a chilly feeling over her body.

Yelena groaned at her friend. “Fine. Ugh, so impatient.”

Before disclosing what was presumed as the most significant information, Yelena crossed her arms and straightened her posture, she spared one last look through the window where her sister was training with her partner. Muffled thuds could be heard, then the nervous tapping of Peter’s feet and Kate’s jacket rustling at each movement as she attentively surveys their surroundings.

“They are not friend, Peter Parker.”

The declaration was clear. It wasn’t alarming or thrilling, perhaps, it sparked more confusion than worry on the gullible boy. Peter’s eyes, wide and bleary, darts between the two friends to ensure those words were the climax of a finality that caused him stress. Kate answered his unspoken questions with a lenient nod of her head, enough motion for her brunette hair to drape around her face and shield herself from revealing her lack of understanding on Yelena’s plan, and another, revealing the truth to Peter.

“They are married. Natasha and Y/n are married.”

Kate gasped, slender fingers drawing her hair away like pulling apart curtains, and revealing her expression, mouth gaping and eyes wide open. Two stunned faces stared at Yelena’s knowing façade. The new information was unexpected to them, neither assuming anything close to this.

Your friendship with Natasha was familiar to everyone, one always helping the other and working together fluidly. Marriage, however, wasn’t something that would have been a conclusion to the close relationship.

“Unless you are married to your best friend,” Yelena spoke teasingly, her forefinger pointed at the pair then meeting Peter’s eyes, he denied with flushed cheeks. “They are very close, not like friends...but as a married couple,” she added, nodding her head approvingly at the statement.

They glanced into the training room where you were playfully pushing Natasha’s shoulder as she retaliated with a harsher push. Still, all so unaware of the declared marriage to each other.

With that, the start of a harmless joke turned into a thriving prank by the marvellous mind of Yelena Belova and Kate Bishop.

The mischief duo, after subsiding Peter’s worry, had spent hours narrowing down the best name for their plan. It was accordance to what Yelena had argued as the best, what Kate presume was easier to remember, and the final that would be deemed as; one of the best prank ever.

#remembertheyremarried #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #yelena belova x reader #kate bishop x reader

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holylulusworld · 11 months

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The captain at a sex shop

Summary: You’re just doing your job when you catch the eye of a certain captain…

Pairing: PostWS!Steve Rogers x Plussized(short)!Reader

Warnings: mentions of sex toys, incorrect law terms and stuff, fluff, kinda love-struck Steve, size kink

“Do you have a license to sell these,” you huff as the clerk at the sex shop ignores you. “Hello,” you snap your fingers. “You can either show me the papers or take these out of the display.”

“Who do you think you are?” the blonde snaps at you. “You can’t come here and demand shit.” She clicks her tongue and turns to walk away.

“Well, I work for the Avengers initiative, little miss plastic boobs,” you sneer at her when she dips her head to look you up and down. “Captain America for sure didn’t sign shit for you to sell dildos claiming that the trader measured Captain Rogers’ dick himself.”

“Show me your badge, inspector,” she bites back.

“Fine, you want it the hard way then,” you smirk as you get your badge out. “Tony Stark hired me to make sure no one sells illegal shit any longer. Last year, someone sold an Iron Man toaster, and it exploded. It almost killed a kid.”

You put your hands on your hips and size the woman up. She swallows thickly as you impatiently tap your foot.

“I-I…” she stammers while nervously looking around the shop. Customers stopped looking at the products and followed your conversation. “I found them online…”

“Where? Who sold this shit to you? You know, it’s illegal claiming that Captain Rogers let someone measure his dick. I will confiscate them all.”

“All? But—but I paid a thousand bucks for the dildos, miss. Will I get the money back?”

You laugh. “Miss, you’re lucky Captain Rogers doesn’t sue you. Now pack that shit up.”

“I only wanted to make money.”

“Copyright infringement is a crime, lady. You shouldn’t sell stuff you know is not licensed,” you grunt. “If only people would learn, I could have a very relaxed job.”

“Copyright infringement?” she stares at you. Bewildered. “That’s insane!”

“Well, you claim to sell Captain Rogers’ cock. But it belongs only to him, don’t you think? It’s on his body after all,” you grin when she looks a little flustered. You’re bold and downright cocky.

“I’ll get them all…wait,” she caves in, but gives you a stinky eye. “I hope you’re happy now.”

“No. Why would I? I got to drive around with hundreds of dicks in my trunk and can’t even use one of them,” you snicker when her cheeks turn red. “Now hurry up. I got to check on three more shops. One of them claims to sell the serum turning you into Hulk. I bet it’s a hoax, but you never know…”

While you fight over the dildos Captain America style with the woman, a pair of blue eyes watch you. He grins and chuckles as you try to snatch one of the dildos out of a customer’s hands.

“Hands off! I just confiscated all of them.”

The woman won’t give up. She presses the dildo to her chest while throwing insults at you. “That’s mine!”

“Listen, lady. If you don’t hand it over, I’ll call the cops,” you purse your lips, “Do you really want me to call them?”

“Ladies,” you stiffen as a familiar voice stops the woman from fighting for the dildo. She pales and drops the sex toy to the ground. “Please don’t fight. She’s only doing her job.

“C-captain America!!! What are you doing here?” the clerk asks. She’s as shocked as you, the customer, and the rest of the people at the shop.

“I was walking past the shop and heard a commotion, “Steve lies. “I thought someone needs help. I was right, I guess.”

“Uh-I’ve got this handled, Sir-I mean Captain. You can leave this to me,” you glance at Steve Rogers, the golden boy. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, nervously looking down at you.

“I can see that,” he smirks when you turn your attention back toward the shelves filled with Captain America dildos.

“Phew, that’s the last one,” you pant as you put the last box filled with the confiscated dildos on the ground. You stored them at your office for the time being, or until one of the people with a higher pay grade decides on the dildos' fate.

You fall into your chair, groaning as your back hurts after carrying all the boxes into your office. All those strong men in the building, and not a single one offered their help.

Of course not. You’re just a little ant, a tiny wheel in the machinery called the Avengers initiative. No one but the colleagues working next door knows your name.

“So…what are you trying to ask me?” Tony rolls his eyes as Steve came to his office only to not say a single word. “Capsicle, I’m not a telepath. If you want to get information, you need to ask questions.”

“The woman working for you, what’s her name?”

“Woman? Which one, Steve? I got a lot of employees,” as Steve tries to describe you, Tony rolls his eyes again.

“Short, cute, and cocky?” the billionaire chuckles. “That’s the worst description of a person I ever heard. I need more information.”

“She confiscates things for you. Uh-she said something about a toaster,” Steve clears his throat. He doesn’t want to tell Tony what you confiscated today, or that he was at a sex shop. “I don’t know what this means.”

“Oh. This sounds like Y/N Y/L/N. Pepper hired her after the incident with the toaster,” Tony explains. “Someone sold toasters, claiming to be my partner, and that I helped produce them. A kid almost died.”

“Hmm…” Steve nods thoughtfully. “What’s her job? Where’s her office?"

“I don’t know,” Tony shrugs. “Pepper knows more about Y/N’s job.”

“Do you at least know where her office is? I want to thank her for doing a great job,” Steve believes he will go to hell for all the lies he told today. “Tony?”

“Sure…wait…let me check the…” Tony huffs. “I’ll call Pepper. Give me a minute.”

“Hi, can I come in?” someone knocks at your door right when you were about to have a snack. “Hello? Anyone in there?”

“Come on in,” you sigh. You will eat something later then.

“Hi,” Steve Rogers pokes his head in. He doesn’t enter your office, only glances at you. “Can I come in, or do you have too much to do?”

“You can come in, Captain,” you jump up to open the door wider for Steve. “Hi. Uh-what brings you here? Is it about the incident at the shop?”

“I wanted to thank you,” he hesitantly enters the room. “You defended my…honor…I mean…you know what I mean.”

“Oh-that was nothing,” you play it cool. Steve Rogers makes you nervous. Like really nervous. He’s so tall, bulky, and pretty. You stare up at him, feeling a little lightheaded as he holds your gaze. “I only did my job, Sir.”

“What are you going to do with all of these?” he glances at the dildos in his colors, stored in boxes. Steve licks his lips.

He can’t tell you that the fact you are tiny compared to him makes his size kink go worse, or that he can’t think of anything but you since he saw you at the shop.

“I’m waiting for instructions,” you shrug. “I store them here until my boss tells me what to do with them.”

“What about the serum you mentioned at the store?” his eyes drop to your chest, wandering further down, stopping at your thighs. He inhales sharply as he images your legs wrapped around his waist.

“It was a fake. Someone sold green slushies tasting like spinach,” you drop your eyes to the boxes filled with dildos. “Most of the time they sell dildos or crap, nothing dangerous.”

“How about I invite you for lunch to properly thank you,” Steve offers. He shyly glances at your hand, itching to just grab it. “It’s the least I can do.”

“I was about to have a snack,” you lick your lips. “I could go for lunch, though. I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

He hums as you turn toward your desk to grab your bag and jacket. His eyes glued to your ass he feels his pants grow tighter. Steve bites his lower lip, chewing on it as he imagines putting his hands on you.

“Ready?” you glance over your shoulder, catching him staring.

“Ready,” he clears his throat, acting as if he didn’t stare at your ass. “I’m glad you want to join me.”

“Me too.”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction #plussized reader #short reader #steve rogers x plus size reader #The captain at a sex shop

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rrcenic · 8 months

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in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

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cyberdragoninfinity · 7 months

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doesn't placido's route literally have you kill yusei in front of aki and then he taunts her for it like "now you know how it is to lose the one you love"?? THAT WAS SO FUCKED

OK YEAH. YEAH. ABOUT THAT. SO THAT ROUTE IS ACTUALLY PRIMO/PLACIDO'S TAG FORCE 6 ROUTE. AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY GODDAMN DAY.

like. the Three Emperors arent even like Tier-1 characters in TF6, they dont get unique story routes like the core cast, they dont get a unique endroute picture like in Tag Force 5, they just get plugged into the same WRGP team ups for all of their heart events. it's actually extremely hard to find adequate archiving of their events cuz, again, theyre not 'main' characters in this game. BUT FORTUNATELY. I AM UNWELL. AND I PLAYED ALL THREE OF THEIR ROUTES. AND ARCHIVED ALL THE ENDINGS. I assumed the three of them were gonna have some kind of generic endgame due to this. AND BOY WAS I. GREATLY INCORRECT.

Primo's storyline DOES END WITH HIM JUST KILLING YUSEI DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF AKIZA. AND YOURE COMPLICIT IN IT.

LIKE. DUDE??!? IN THE FUNNY YUGIOH VIDEO GAME FOR THE PSP???!?! YUSEI IS DEAD DEAD, HE DOESNT COME BACK HERE. JESUS CHRIST.

and then as if that wasn't enough, IMMEDIATELY after that the Ark Cradle descends and you have to hop on over there with Primo. And then you get there and he basically tells you how Relieved and Excited He Is To Die, and You Should Be Too.

^this fucks me up so much. that little smile. guy who is SO excited to give his life for a cause that doesn't give a shit about him. also sorry about my deck name JDFJGDF

Anyway he also talks to you about being created from despair and being made to act as God's vessel of punishment and how the people of this timeline should accept the fate God ("""God""") has decreed for them and it's honestly i think it's all one of my absolute favorite Tag Force conversations, it says SO much about Primo's character and it deserves a dedicated post of its own sometime.

And then it ends with him being like "that woman is going to come here and she's going to be pissed and it's our job to guard the Ark Cradle now" which just presents, such an amazing and haunting concept in that regard. This idea of Akiza leading the charge of the Signers to avenge Yusei's death. my GOD.

it's so fucked. it makes me cuckoo bananas. why did they go so hard on this story route that isnt even for one of TF6's main characters. Bad Guy Wins AU REAL!!

#ygo posting #asks #anonymous #yugioh 5ds #placido #primo 5ds #sorry for the tangent im normal about tag force primo i prommy (lying)#i will get into the rest of his tf6 end conversation sometime cuz it really is just a fantastic little character study...#iliasterliker9000 #anyway yeah the 5ds tag force games are fucking VIOLENT??! theres multiple routes where you just put main characters in the hospital #emulate the tag force games. my final message #tag force madness #dana's ygo bible study

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starlitangels · 1 year

Conversation

Good Boy Audios Incorrect Quotes (Part 4)

Yargwynn: *carrying all the groceries*

Paradise: *holds out hand to help*

Yargwynn: *shifts all the groceries to one arm to hold Paradise's hand*

•••

Albus: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room!

Devlin: It's called arson and those people are witnesses

•••

Odin: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

Pandora: If you say "addiction-ary" I will f*^&ing kick you back through the portal to Esselheim

Odin: I was going to say "high definition" but yours is better

•••

*air horn sound*

Yargwynn: ??? This isn't deodorant

•••

Tyr: Remember, the only difference between science and screwing around is writing things down.

•••

Makkaro: I could be wrong

Frank: Have you ever said that and actually meant it?

Makkaro: No

•••

Yargwynn: There are no bad ideas, only good ideas that go horribly wrong.

•••

Devlin: Let me see what I can do. Can you stay out of trouble for five minutes?

Albus: Let's find out!

•••

Yargwynn: I'm going on this mission alone. I ask that you rescue me or avenge me, as appropriate

•••

Faithful: Lord, give me patience

Albus: Isn't the phrase "give me strength"?

Faithful: If the Lord gave me strength, you'd be dead

•••

*Literally Anything Happens in the Space Pirate Saga*

Yargwynn: I was not expecting that

Yargwynn: But I was expecting not to expect something so it doesn't count

•••

Makkaro: In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing on the 'good' side?

Zed: Because being mean makes me feel bad

•••

Pandora: You really shouldn't be using a straw

Odin: I know. Bad for the environment and all that, but this one is metal and reusable—

Pandora: No, it's just a really weird way to eat spaghetti

Odin: *drawn out slurp*

•••

Paradise: *walks into crew meeting late* Sorry I’m late. I was doing stuff.

Yargwynn: *walks in, noticeably disheveled* *smirking* I’m stuff

•••

Paradise: Sorry I’m late. I was doing stuff.

Mortallous: *walks in, noticeably disheveled* They pushed me down the F^&*ING stairs!

•••

Odin: Hey! What are you doing tomorrow?

Pandora: Having my day ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do

•••

Albus: Apparently, ending every conversation with my brother with, "Yes, my liege," and a deep bow followed by respectful backwards shuffling while avoiding eye contact is considered sarcastic

•••

Yargwynn: Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life!

Paradise: -_-

•••

Albus: I asked Faithful to share her queen-sized blanket, to which she replied that she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity

•••

Ulysses: You're mad

Odin: Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work

•••

Makkaro: I assume you realize I won't tolerate this kind of idiocy

Frank: Is there another kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

•••

Lyr: We need to have a talk about your professionalism.

Yargwynn, standing on a table: Those are some mighty brave words coming from a guy standing in lava.

•••

Pandora: We need to talk about—

Odin: The building was already on fire when I got there

Pandora: What?

Odin: What?

•••

Kalamos: We need to get help from adults!

Paradise: We are—

Kalamos: Real adults!

Paradise: Understood.

•••

Tyr: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Odin: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Pandora: Ulysses fell down the stairs

#Good Boy Audios #GoodBoyAudios #GBA Bastard Warrior #GBA MotH #GBA Fourseen #Space Pirates Saga #GBA Pandora #GBA Ulysses #GBA Tyr #GBA Odin #GBA Albus #GBA Faithful #GBA Devlin #GBA Yargwynn #GBA Paradise #GBA Kalamos #GBA Makkaro #GBA Zed #GBA Frank

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fanfic-corner · 1 year

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Tony Stark Has a Heart Fic Recs pt 2

Hello everyone!! I still have plenty of fics with this tag left in my bookmarks, so we're back for a part 2! I hope you enjoy reading them <3

You can find part one here.

xvii. drugged by tempestaurora (2.3k)

“Well,” the doctor said, “it seems you two can only tell the truth. I’ll call the team in to start working on a fix, but I do recommend you don’t leave the tower in case you say something you usually wouldn’t.”

“I’ll be fine,” Peter said.

The doctor raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at him. “Peter, are you Spiderman?”

“Yes.” Peter blinked. “I see your point.”

Peter Parker's Incorrect Quotes Page by EmilyWeaslette (2.5k)

Peter opens an 'incorrect quotes' account for the Avengers on Twitter, without telling them. When the team discovers the account, and Peter is too embarassed to come forward as it's creator, panic and hilarity ensue as the team try to figure out how private conversations are being eavesdropped on. Peter's just trying to avoid being caught.

Besides.

It was all Shuri's idea.

Candy from Strangers by peter_parkr (2.8k)

Peter heard footsteps approaching the bathroom. Tony pushed the door open and hesitantly poked his head in.

"Oh, shit." His eyes were met with the sight of Peter, whiter than a ghost, crumpled on the floor in fetal position. Peter tried to smile up at Tony, but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Hey, ms'r strk. Welcome to my h'me." Peter flopped his arm over on the floor in greeting. Tony sighed... this was going to be a long night.

Where my heart lies by Maicaly (3.5k)

Peter Stark is taken from his school's parking lot, and 46 hours later, Tony receives a message with a location. Steve, Rhodey and Sam follow him to an abandoned building with a unpleasant surprise inside - that will put Tony's nerves at test.

Repeat After Me by battybatzgirl (3.8k)

Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.”

“I don’t know, some twelve year old—”

Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.”

“—Fifteen year old—”

Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.”

Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?”

“Son of a bitch.”

Love, hate on by madasthesea (3.9k)

She’d planned for this moment for two years, seven months, and eighteen days: As she’d stood above her daughter’s freshly dug grave, she’d decided that Tony Stark would die by her hand. And now was her moment.

She had only intended to grab Stark, tell him what he’d done that merited the punishment she was going to give, and kill him fast before anyone started looking. But here was this kid, an act of providence.

She didn’t have to tell Stark now, she could show him. She could make him suffer like she’d suffered, make him pay for his crimes. An eye for an eye, a child for a child.

kidnapping by killerqueenwrites (4.6k)

Steve wakes up cuffed to a chair, which is kind of annoying considering he has a meeting today.

He’s just coming to the conclusion that he really might be in trouble when he notices the kid across from him.

or Steve and Peter get some bonding time, and Tony is freaking out.

Um, I'm Invoking Parental Rights by teaandtumblr (5.8k)

5 times Peter calls Tony "dad" to bail him out, and the 1 time he means it.

Perhaps He's Not Missing Out After All. by NotYoCheese (6.6k)

Peter is devastated after he is told that he is not allowed to go on the field trip with the rest of his class tomorrow. Tony steps in and tells him that he can stay at the tower on the day of the field trip. Only, Peter didn't realize that the field trip was to the tower, and guess who the lucky intern who gets to give them a tour is . . .

Featuring a shocked class that finds out that Peter isn't lying, a very angry Flash, and maybe even some IronDad Fluff

Planes, Trains, and the Trauma Response by imgoingtocrash and savvysass (6.9k)

The world around him is solid. It makes sense. Despite the existence of aliens and literal gods in their galaxy—the science of it all makes sense. They just have yet to figure it all out.

Then he’d been thrown into a spiral of falsehoods—one after another, all so fast, all so real—and suddenly he’s in

the Netherlands. It’s too nice compared to the horrors he became used to—a far cry from the real world: a world of dead parents, dead uncles, and half of a universe, dead with the snap of one creature’s fingers.

Where once there was certainty…now there’s fragility.

So, when he sees Tony step out of the plane instead of Happy…he falters.

Mr Stark Enough For You? (another field trip fic bcs we dont have enough) by Livinei (7k)

Peter isn’t worried because he thinks Tony won’t say yes, he’s worried because he’s sure Tony will. And he’s not sure how he feels about having his entire class waltzing around the place where he spends practically more time than in his own home, where he has his own room, and where he regularly eats Lucky Charms with one of the most influential men in the country, in his pajamas. Not that they’d ever know any of that. Tour groups don’t go to the living quarters of the Tower anyways, they hardly ever go past the 50th floor, Peter knows that. And it isn’t fair to his class if he doesn’t ask just because he…spends a lot of time there?

Yeah, Peter sighs, he has to ask. He promised, anyways.

you'll always get there first by crowkag (7k)

Home, home, home home home. It played on loop in Peter’s brain, loud and tumbling and distracting…

But not in a way that would have him miss the silver Audi speeding toward him in the opposite direction, a sight that made him do a double-take for two reasons.

One, because the fancy car was a foreign presence after nothing but rusty, dented Ford pickups for the past hour.

And two, he was pretty sure that was Tony in the driver’s seat.

Peter Parker's Super Secret Snack Stash by coconutknightshade (7k)

"It's D, Peter. We talked about this."

“No it’s not, Ned. Because if it were D then I would be wrong and that would put me at a 65% already on this practice exam and we haven’t even gotten through it all. I can’t fail another history exam, Ned! This last one is worth 60% of our grade! If I fail this final then I’ll fail the class and if I fail the class then I’ll be kicked out of school-”

“You’re top of our year, Peter.” You can almost hear Ned’s eye roll as he talks over Peter.

“- and if I’m kicked out of school then I’ll be forced to live on the streets exchanging sexual favors for money and I can’t do that, Ned! I wouldn’t even know what to charge- I mean, what’s the street value of a blow job, Ned? Do you know? Because I sure as shit don’t.” At this point Ned is outright giggling over Peter’s theatrics.

Pickle Starburst by Bergen (7.5k)

One mundane evening, an awkward, wide-eyed teenager with strange enhanced abilities tumbles into Tony’s office and claims he is from the year 2017, twelve years into the future.

Tony doesn’t really do kids. Or whack jobs. So a combination of the two is a challenge.

But when has Tony ever backed down from a challenge?

for the love of freefall by sagemb (7.9k)

Happy does not, in fact, pick Peter up on Wednesday. Instead, when he and Ned walk out of the school building, there’s a small crowd gathering next to a convertible orange Audi R8 idling in the fire lane. A man with a familiar goatee and rose-colored sunglasses is sitting in the driver’s seat.

Peter’s brain short-circuits for a second.

5 Times Peter Sleepwalked And The 1 Time He Pretended He Did by losingmymindtonight (8.7k)

Peter sleepwalks, Tony stresses.

Man in a Can by JinxQuickfoot (10k)

Peter could hear the voices floating down to him, muffled by the floorboards nailed into place above his head and cemented over with the industrial strength tiles that made up Tony’s workshop floor. The last thing he had remembered was a dark figure appearing over him in bed, then he had woken up here, groggy and exhausted and unable to move.

Unable to move because whoever had grabbed him had covered him in concrete from toes to mouth, repaired Tony’s floor, and left him there.

We Will Foresee Obstacles by blackwatchandromeda (11k)

The war is over. Thanos has been defeated, the population has been restored, and Peter has lost one of the most important people in his life.

After the funeral, Peter meets Harley and Morgan. They're all in the same position, all missing the same person, and it's not long before they come up with a scheme to save him.

That is, if they can pull it off.

When You Assume Wrong by TentativeTreason (14k)

Tony is hiding something.

The Avengers notice the little discrepancies in Tony’s behaviour, and they eventually come to the only conclusion they can think of: Tony is having an affair.

Five Times Peter Parker Pretended to Be Asleep by blondsak (16k)

...and the one time he actually was.

Or: sometimes, faking sleep can work to your advantage. When it comes to trying to fool a certain genius, overprotective, superhero mentor, Peter finds this to be doubly true.

Definitely Worth It by jennylarner (16k)

Peter doesn't want to go on a field trip to Stark Tower. It's a recipe for disaster. His class doesn't believe him, his teacher doesn't believe him. If he makes it through the entire day without being suspended, it'll be a miracle. Unfortunately for Peter, he's never much believed in miracles.

What I Really Need is You by happyaspie (18k)

Five Things Peter Needs From Tony and One Thing He Wants.

@ironman follows you by malyin_roza (27k)

“Eighteen detentions last month alone, disgraceful amount of absent hours – often odd classes mid-day or half a day. I won’t mention the after-class clubs, or nerd groups, or whatever it is you do for ‘fun’ that actually counts in to your records anyway.”

Peter sat frozen on the spot, his face growing hot and red after rapidly paling when Tony began talking.

“I – I – look, I, let me explain – “

“That’s,” Tony pointed at him, silencing with one look, “that’s where we might start.”

“Start?” the teen repeated uneasily.

Sweet Jesus, what did he have on him?

“I solved it all, you’re welcome.”

A beat of silence as Peter blinked at him.

Cloak and Dagger by Velnetta (34k)

After being kidnapped with some of earth’s greatest defenders, Peter is grateful that it appears that their captors aren’t aware that he’s Spider-man.

The problem? To the Avengers, he's just Tony Stark's teenage intern- and Peter intends to keep it that way.

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea (35k)

Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

Time to Pretend by Rowan_M (38k)

A villain attacking New York sends an injured Peter back in time to the year 2000. Not knowing how to get home, Peter asks Tony Stark for help and ends up finding out a lot about his and Tony's past.

Peter is given an opportunity to change the future, or leave things be.

In My Dreams by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (48k)

Red.

Red was quite the color.

The color of love, the color of hate.

The color of glowing cheeks under a streetlight, of smiling lips and sweet rose petals. The color of a sour lollipop in a child’s young hand.

The color of war, of blood, of pain. The color that plagued the nightmares of the bravest men.

Yes, red was quite a few things at once, but right now, it was the color that coated Peter Parker’s hands as he stumbled away from the warm corpses of his aunt and uncle, silhouetted cruelly by the neon store signs, and into the unknown of a quiet, star-dotted night in Queens.

A Hundred Feet Under by thisisnotourlasthunt (59k)

Months after the events in Civil War, a chemical outbreak causes the whole world to fall in a comatose state. The Avengers, who had to reunite when people began to fall, are forced to trap themselves inside a bunker until Bruce Banner and Helen Cho can figure out an antidote. This leads to new friendships to form, and others to heal. All of this a hundred feet underground.

Things go well, until they don't.

While Tony and Steve revisit their actions in Civil War and deal with being a team once again, one of their team members was silently compromised by the chemicals. None of them knew until the effects began to appear. Emotions are shared. The team becomes a family once again and some learn that despite their past actions, there will always be people that will love and care for you. Also, Tony is a stressed dad to a teenager with concerning lack of self preservation skills.

It's a Secret to Everybody by Snapdragon_in_the_Snow (97k)

Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son.

Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

built from scraps by peterstank (138k)

“Everybody needs someone. That’s what you said, right?” Pepper meets his eyes and he’s struck by the way she’s almost pleading. “We both lost. We can help each other.”

Her hand, palm up and open, stretches into the space between them.

Peter hesitates.

Then he takes it.

or: the one where tony was dusted instead of peter, so he and pepper try to figure out the whole ‘family’ thing together.

(oh, and it turns out that the man who died in peter’s arms on an alien planet is his biological father. who knew, right?)

Brave as a Noun by edema_ruh (161k)

Some people think that Peter is Tony's son. Why shouldn't they? Peter seems to be orbiting Tony all the time, and it's not like the billionaire tells him off. They have a nice relationship - Peter is glad to have a father figure, and Tony cares for the kid as if he's actually his son.

The first problem regarding this arises when the people who think that Peter is Tony's son kidnap him for ransom.

The second problem regarding this arises when one of the people who kidnaps Peter turns out to be Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, and he's hungry for revenge.

Identity Theft by KitCat992 (267k)

It's been months since the events of Civil War, and the Avengers are doing their best to remain a team, having promised to forgive and forget. Unfortunately for them, Tony Stark's latest invention has been stolen and recovering it causes tension to reappear.

Meanwhile, in Queens, Peter Parker has two main priorities on his plate — complete his midterm finals, and track down a fishbowl wearing criminal that may or may not lead him right into the hands of the Avengers.

Somehow between all of this, Spider-Man's identity is revealed to the Avengers, Steve and Tony's friendship may permanently be damaged due to continued hidden secrets, and Happy struggles to buy a youth-sized casket for Peter's funeral.

Things were a lot easier when they were fighting over Bucky Barnes.

Stab Me in the Back (I'll Catch You From Behind) by Lansfics7 (296k)

"I am going to find Tony," the man hisses in Peter's ear, his gaze cold and cruel. "And when I do, I will kill him, slowly. What do you say to that-" The man stops short because Peter's shoulders are shaking, and before he can curl his lip in victory, he hears a snicker. When he lets go of Peter's hair, the teen's head slumps to his chest, but it's not out of exhaustion or defeat...it's to hide a smile.

The boy lets out a laugh, shaking his head before glancing to the sides admitting apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's just- it is so fun to mess with you!" He looks around before snorting, "Tony Stark? That's your play? You're not screwing with me, right? You actually thought that would work? Sorry guys." Peter straightens in his chair with a sneer and a cocky wink, "Tony doesn't give a flying crap about me."

And that's it! Happy reading, and if you have any other fics to rec with this tag - whether they be yours or your friend's - please share them with me! And, as always, thank you to all the amazing writers who share their works with us.

#irondad #spideyson #marvel #mcu #peter parker #tony stark #tony stark has a heart #iron man #spider-man #fic recs #ao3 #lina lore #long post

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obsidianvibranium · 2 years

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Steve Rogers: A Brief Character Analysis

I have seen way too many posts over the past year that hate on or attribute incorrect character traits to Stevie Boy, so this is in response to those misconceptions and baseless grievances, of which I will be addressing four: that Steve is egotistic, impulsive, entitled, and selfish.

First, Steve Rogers is not an impulsive person when it comes to making important ethical decisions. He has made a habit of acting upon his principles to the best of his ability in specific circumstances. CACW emphasizes this aspect of Steve’s personality. He is the only one to actually read through the Accords; Tony certainly doesn’t and Vision only looks at things from a vague general perspective and not the actual policies that are being implemented. Steve isn’t against rules; when he is being held in the office in Germany he tells Tony that if there were changes to the Accords— changes that would make them actually useful— he would sign them and be a willing participant. (I have addressed related issues with the Accords here, if anyone is interested. )

The whole presentation that Ross gives is a clear sign to Steve— and, arguably, Sam— that this is the objective of the Accords: it’s a power play. (Why the other avengers don’t see this— especially Rhodey and Natasha— I have no fucking clue. Chalk it up to the Russo brothers not being capable of staying true to their characters. *cough* endgame *cough* anyway…) They use the four incidences of mass destruction that the avengers partook in to guilt them into signing and it partially works. (Ahem, Tony) But the reality of who is culpable in these instances is most definitely not as Secretary Shithead Ross makes it out to be.

The battle of New York was largely instigated by SHIELD (surprise, surprise: a government sanctioned organization) who took it upon themselves to create weapons from alien technology. That situation was further exacerbated by the world security council sending a nuke which Tony had to get rid of, a task which caused him to have major PTSD.

Washington D.C. was to stop Hydra, another power hungry organization, which had taken over SHIELD (again, a government sanctioned organization), and if they hadn’t taken down those helicarriers millions of people would have died. The deaths that resulted from their destruction were an accident and an unfortunate consequence.

Lagos was a mission to stop some of the remaining aforementioned Hydra assholes from attacking innocent people with biological weapons. Brock Rumlow is to blame for the explosion which Wanda tried to maintain. Again, an unfortunate accident.

Even Sokovia, to a certain degree was out of the avengers hands. Tony created Ultron to serve as a protector of earth; a shield, not a weapon. However, the mind stone, upon giving Ultron a consciousness, altered his programming. Tony, nor Bruce, are to blame for the actions of Ultron who acted apart from them and the programming that they gave him, just as a parent is not responsible for their grown child, who was raised to understand that killing people is wrong, murdering people. Though the two geniuses are to blame for ultron’s creation, and it is most definitely problematic that they would try to implement it without the consent of the rest of the planet (though I’m not 100% positive that that’s what happened), they are not morally culpable for the actions of an independent agent which diverted from the given programming. More than that, they did the right thing by trying to stop the vibranium-stealing metal fucker from killing everyone.

All that to say that Steve very much thinks through his decisions and impulsively acts upon ethical principles that he has already ingrained within his own psyche. However, He continues to be introspective, and is constantly questioning what the right and wrong thing to do is; this is evidenced by the conversation he has with Peggy in CATWS where he tells her that he’s doubting his own understanding of what is right and wrong in light of SHIELD’s building of the helicarriers. It’s not that he doesn’t know if the intended function of the helicarriers is wrong (because it most certainly is: “This isn’t freedom. This is fear.”), but whether or not working for SHIELD, a government organization, is the right thing to do if they are going to partake in such morally questionable practices. His actions are driven by this constant ethical and philosophical debate he has going on in his head. (Which is just another reason why endgame is a load of shit, but that is a rant for another time.)

Secondly, though his beef with Tony in the Avengers film (the only egotistic instance I could think of) seems to fit that egotistical billing, it could (and should) be argued that he is fresh out of the ice, and all he knows is that Peggy, the woman he loves and just lost, was the one who started the organization and he trusted her completely, so his trust of SHIELD is really just his trust of Peggy. Moreover, he and Tony butt heads because of the persona that the latter frequently puts on. Steve, as I will argue soon, is a very selfless and loyal person, and he is intolerant of people's bullshit. Was it a misjudgment of Tony on his part? Yes, but it's a misjudgment that even the people closest to Tony made early on in their relationships with him because Tony uses it as a mental shield (another analysis for another time.) Anyways, the fact that Steve was trying to instigate the physical fight with Tony is absolute bullshit writing, because all throughout CATFA Steve is NEVER the one to instigate the fight; he won't back down from it, but he won't be the first one to throw blows. The fact that his behavior is contrary to this in the Avengers can be attributed to the writers' and Joss Whedon's inability to understand Steve's character, something that happens way too frequently in the MCU. (Another excellent post about Steve Rogers not being impulsive and egotistical can be found here.)

Third, Steve Rogers is NOT entitled; he doesn’t expect people to follow him. He very much is still in the mindset of the little guy from Brooklyn who nobody would listen to and asshole “men” would beat up because he called them out on their bullshit. He grew up in a time where eugenics was a popular political stance, meaning he was ostracized and belittled because of his health issues and his physiology; he would have been deemed genetically inferior and therefore a lesser being by many and treated as such. His entire speech in the Triskelion in CATWS emphasizes that he doesn’t think people will follow him and he doesn’t ask them to. He asks them to do the right thing because he believes in the goodness of individuals (as he says in his letter to Tony in CACW). He appeals to their individual humanity, their individual principles and ethics; he’s not trying to rally them behind him, but is encouraging them to do what they know to be the right thing on their own and of their own volition. Furthermore, he doesn’t oppose people questioning his judgement, but he is not going to let Rhodey stand there with his air of self-righteousness and tell him that the accords are the right way to go when he hasn’t even fucking read them! (Something which doesn’t seem fitting with Rhodes’s character, but hey, what do I know? 🙄) He holds people to the same standards he holds himself (which is why he is constantly butting heads with Tony, who holds himself to a high standard but in some questionable ways) and he expects everyone to make an informed decision. Again, this is seen in his speech in CATWS; he gives the SHIELD agents all the facts (though he doesn’t exactly have time to give them proof) and lets them make the decision for themselves.

Lastly, but most importantly, Steve is selfless; he does the right thing despite it being the more difficult path. He could have easily submitted to the Accords, or retired and said “this is not my problem,” but he risked his own life and freedom because he knew that Bucky was innocent and that there was a greater threat on the horizon. Being on the run from one nation, as he did in CATWS (something that a lot of people forget) is difficult, let alone being on the run from 117. This is not an easy feat and he fucking knows it. This is most certainly not a decision he makes impulsively. He does what he does because he values all human life, despite the potential loss of his own. Though he is not perfect (he should have told Tony what had actually happened to his parents, and he definitely could have explained his position on the Accords better, though I’m not sure how in character either of these behaviors are), he is a true hero because he sacrifices his own life for the safety and freedom of all of humanity at the risk of losing both, himself. (This is the most important reason why endgame is a load of shit, but, again, a rant for another time.)

The other Avengers certainly have their flaws, but they are not all impulsive (Nat being a prime example of one who is not, Tony of one who is). And as much shit as I give Tony, he is a very robust character with lots of characteristics and a well developed back story and I love him. I might do a character analysis on him and others in the future, but I will save those essays for a later date.

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westannatasharomanoff · 2 years

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Natasha: If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…

Thor: It’s a duck!

Natasha: Not always. Sometimes, it’s my sister.

#source: personal conversation #natasha romanoff #black widow #thor #the avengers #incorrect avengers quotes #avengers #incorrect avengers #marvel #incorrect marvel quotes #mcu

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janeykath318 · 1 year

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The Power Of A Smile (shieldshock)

Prompt: “Quit smiling at me! I keep messing up my sentences when you smile at me like that.”

Darcy had always thought of Captain America as being a super serious, judgmental jock with little to no sense of humor. He came across as rather uptight in all the media coverage and interviews she’d seen and the stories Tony told her about Steve and his supposed stick up the ass didn’t help her perception of him.

So, she was a little surprised when she toured the Smithsonian and saw the vintage video clip of him smiling and laughing with the Howling Commandoes.

“So he could smile eighty years ago,” she mused aloud. “I won’t lie. It’s pretty darn cute. I wonder what it would take to get him to smile nowadays. Maybe recite the pledge of allegiance while standing on my head?” She snorted at the thought. “Not that I’ll get to make that discovery.”

Turns out, Darcy was very much proven wrong.

She moved into Avengers tower with Jane two months later and in all the chaos and excitement, almost forgot that she was gonna be working near her heroes (and sorta heroes).

They were in the middle of setting up Jane’s equipment when Darcy stepped out for an emergency snack and coffee run. When She returned, she heard a deep voice talking to Jane.

“Where would you like it, Dr. Foster?”

She couldn’t quite hear Jane’s reply, but when she walked in, Captain America was calmly moving the heaviest machine as if it weighed nothing. Darcy couldn’t help but stare.

“Holy beefcake!! Jane, you called in the big guns. And by big guns, I mean those biceps. Yowza!”

Jane winced. Darcy did too, cringing at her terrible lack of filter. She braced herself for an annoyed look or long suffering sigh from Steve, but his shoulders seemed to shake a little and when he turned back around, he was straight up grinning.

“Steve, this is my assistant, Darcy Lewis. Darcy, meet Steve Rogers.”

Jane’s look at Steve was apologetic, but Steve just stuck out one giant hand and shook Darcy’s, still smiling.

“Pleased to meet you, Ms. Lewis.” He said, not at all sounding irritated or uptight.

Darcy’s brain went into buffering mode and she found speaking difficult all of a sudden.

“Uh-uh-uh. Same,” she finally managed. “Thanks for the help. Wanna share some snacks?”

“Thanks, but I’ve got a long, boring meeting to get to,” Steve told her. “If you need any more help, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“We won’t,” Jane answered for her. “See ya around, Steve.”

When he’d gone, she turned to Darcy and sighed.

“Please try to work on your filter, Darcy. I don’t mind it when we’re alone, but we’re new here and the bosses might not understand. We’re lucky Steve has such a good sense of humor.”

“Yeah, Whodathunkit?” Darcy murmured, ripping open a Snickers bar. She was still stunned. Had Tony fed her bad intel?

As she came to find out, he had indeed been inaccurate in his description of Steve, at least when it came to off duty Steve.

This Steve was pretty chill and friendly and had a very funny dry sense of humor. Also, he was definitely not a prude. In fact, he’d straight up join in on the rather inappropriate conversations she and Clint had about their favorite fictional character’s sexual proclivities.

“You’re bad, Cap,” she said in amazement during one such conversation. “Tony said you wrinkle your nose when anyone makes so much as an innuendo.”

“When he’s making them, I do.” Steve shrugged. “If he drew incorrect assumptions, that’s on him. And anyway, who really wants to talk to Tony about sex?”

“You have a point there,” Darcy admitted with a shudder. Steve grinned at her and again she was promptly struck dumb.

Darcy, Jane, and Natasha were sipping drinks and chatting about Darcy’s latest failed date, another frustrating episode in her sad relationship story.

“He was one hundred percent Neanderthal. Incapable of taking his eyes off my boobs for one second. Why are men like this?” Darcy complained. “He was kinda cute at first, but I would have used my taser on him if I’d stuck around any longer than I did.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha sympathized. “That is unfortunately an all too common occurrence. However, I do know of some genuinely good single men, if you are ever interested in trying again.”

Darcy sighed and shook her head. “I appreciate the offer, Nat, but I think I’ll just…..” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve sidle up to the bar with Sam, both chatting pleasantly. Steve turned, drink in hand, and locked eyes with her, face lighting up in a big smile. Darcy’s heart skipped a beat and she stared back mesmerized.

Natasha had to poke her to get her attention back.

“Earth to Darcy!! What were you saying?”

Darcy struggled to get her scrambled brain back online.

“Uh, I was saying I think I’ll take a break from dating for awhile,” she finally managed, though her words lacked any conviction.

She didn’t see Natasha and Jane look behind them and smile knowingly at each other.

“Well, you let us know when you change your mind. I’ve got the perfect man in mind,” Natasha declared, looking much too pleased for Darcy’s liking.

Avengers tower had a new resident and Darcy had taken it upon herself to give Bucky the grand tour and help him feel welcome. He didn’t say much, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable with her, so she kept on with her cheerful commentating. It was going well until they reached the gym and Steve happened to be there. He was lifting weights and winked and grinned at Darcy, causing her to stumble to a halt and forget what she was sayin. Ugh. She’d had enough.

Marching over to Steve, she put her hands on her hips and glared.

“Quit smiling at me! I keep messing up my sentences when you smile at me like that!!”

Steve opted for non-compliance.

“I mean it Steve! If you don’t cut that out, I’m gonna kiss that stupidly pretty smile off of your stupidly pretty face!”

Steve set down his weights, but kept on smiling at her.

Not one to make idle threats, Darcy dragged one of the exercise steps over to him and used it as a step stool while she followed through on her promise. Steve didn’t even try to run, but responded very enthusiastically and she quickly gathered that he’d been hoping for this result.

She heard slow clapping from behind them and Bucky’s rusty chuckle.

“Hmm, it would appear this is what you wanted all along, huh?” She asked when she was able to catch her breath again.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted, with a sheepish smile.

“You could have said so,” she playfully chided. “I’ve been kinda pining.”

“Natasha said you weren’t ready to date again, so I decided to give you the space to make up your mind,” Steve explained. “But you make me smile so much, it was challenging.”

“Aww,” Darcy cooed. “Well, let me tell you, the smile campaign worked brilliantly. I can’t even think straight when you’re in the room.”

“Ditto,” Steve replied happily, then he kissed her again.

It was a good thing Darcy had opted against trying to memorize her wedding vows, because the way Steve was looking at her as she read them off the little card was making her a gooey mess inside and she knew she would have made a fool of herself if she didn’t have them written down.

Steve, who had eidetic memory, didn’t have to worry about that and got both of them choked up with his heartfelt words. He had the most earnest pair of puppy dog blue eyes and she knew he meant every word he said.

She’d given Tony a lot of grief over the years about his misleading description of Steve, and he’d finally admitted he’d been very wrong about his teammate. In fact, he’d gone and got himself ordained so he could officiate the ceremony. Darcy had agreed, but had given him strict guidelines, which he mostly followed, much to their relief.

“I now pronounce you Captain and Mrs. America—er—husband and wife. Have at it, Darcy!!”

Grinning widely, Darcy kissed her new husband so thoroughly that he was rendered speechless for a solid minute and a half after they broke apart.

“Finally, it’s my turn to make you lose your wits,” she declared triumphantly.

#shieldshock #fluff #smiley steve #smitten darcy #darcy lewis #steve rogers

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