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villainousshakespeare · 7 months

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Therapy Fit for a God

Chapter 31

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings (for previous chapters): Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking, memory loss.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29

Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.

Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?

@yespolkadotkitty@just-the-hiddles@hopelessromanticspoonie@wine-and-whines@arch-venus25@caffiend-queen@devilish–doll@enchantedbyhiddles@hiddlesholic@i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman@kellatron55@ladyoftheteaandblood@latent-thoughts@yespolkadotkitty @myoxisbroken@nuggsmum@nildespirandum@pedeka@redfoxwritesstuff@sinfully-lustful-darling@vodka-and-some-sass@wrathkitty@kingtwhiddleston@wolfsmom1@poetic-fiasco@shiningloki@dangertoozmanykids101@bookworm-christina@amwolowicz@delightfulheartdream@frostbitten-written@what-a-flammable-heart@tom-hlover@nonsensicalobsessions@myraiswack@loki-yoursaviourishere@ghostypau@ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza@mareebird@colorfulfreakstudentpizza @szycha22@chokemedaddyloki@queenofallhobos@just-the-hiddles-reads @alwida10 @justjoanne242 @lovelysizzlingbluebird@lokiprompts@evieplease @bitchassbecky691@georges-left-ear@mischief2sarawr@thedistractedagglomeration

It's back!!! Well, if this isn't the definition of taking too long, I don't know what is. My sincere apologies. It was a long summer. Finally though, I have scratched out some time away with just my hubs and my keyboard, and now that he is in bed I space to write!

It was a relief to Loki that the room he paced back and forth, wearing a proverbial hole in the carpet, was familiar to him. He reminded himself of that fact regularly, in an effort to stave off the worst of the anxiety coursing through him as he waited for his Lady's arrival. No matter what the future held for him from this point forth, at least he knew himself and all that belonged to him, this room included.

Also included, he hoped, was the woman due to arrive at any moment.

It had been a boisterous reunion with when he had finally joined his family where they waited for him to emerge from his procedure. Any event involving Thor was bound to be less than serene, but the nature of his discovery made the atmosphere raucous even by the standards of the Asgardian royal family.

"Brother! I mean Cousin!" Thor had proclaimed, lifting him from his feet in an embrace that had gone near to shattering Loki's rib cage. "Norns take it all, Brother it has always been, and Brother it shall always be!"

"Thank you, Thor," he had wheezed out with the little air left in his lungs.

"I always knew that you and I shared blood. It was as obvious as it is that day turns to night and night to day."

"Yes, our similarities are breathtaking," Loki had replied dryly, doing his best to hide the misty eyed sensation sweeping over him at his brother's declaration. "I am only surprised that the people did not take us for twins."

"Loki, my dear one," Frigga had cut short his sarcasm before Thor had an opportunity to read it and be stung. "Can you ever forgive us for what we have put you through?"

"I have forgave and been forgiven for far worse in my time," Loki had shrugged, accepting a kiss from her on his cheek. "And as it turns out, I was not the only one deceived in this."

"You were not," she had agreed, a spark of anger in her eye that he was grateful was not directed at him.

"So tell me, where is my dearest not-father? I would have thought he would be first to greet me, all eagerness to explain why he was right to keep the true details of my birth from all of us."

"Mother sent him away," Thor's voice had held a note of awe that Loki was completely in agreement with. To his knowledge no one had ever imposed their will upon the great All Father of the Nine Realms.

"Did you?" was all he said aloud as his mind reeled.

"We all needed time to process the truth," Frigga had a voice of vibranium that would have cut through the strongest armor. "It will go easier if we do not have to do so while your father... while Odin spins his version of events. He will be back in time, when we have all had time to consider."

"What have I told you, Thor," Loki had smirked at his brother. "In a battle to the death, I would choose our Mother every time. If, that is, I may still call you mother?"

The hesitation he had felt rocked him tot he very core. Always, Frigga had been the guiding light in his life. Her love may have been flawed, conditional to Odin's laws, but he had always believed in it. Even when he had learned that he was not her son by birth, there had been no other woman to put in her place. Now, now that he had a name and a face to put to the woman who had birthed him, could he still consider Frigga his Mother? Would she want him to?

"Volla may have given you birth," Frigga had said, tears standing in her eyes, "but in all ways that matter, you are my son, Loki. I have always loved you. Knowing that you are the blood of my blood only strengthens that love."

It seemed that there were times when the tears would not be stifled. He had embraced her again, allowing the salt water to flow from his eyes onto her shoulder as he held her to him. It was only as Thor joined them, wrapping them both in his beefy embrace, that he had heard the door to the chamber open and shut and known that Caroline had slipped silently out.

He had wanted to go after her immediately, but an unaccustomed shyness had descended on him. He owed her so much, this tiny but fierce woman of Midgard. Not only was she responsible for this latest revelation of his origin story, but it was due to her that was alive to learn it. Now that he could remember all of the support she had given him over the past weeks, he found himself feeling profoundly unworthy of so steadfast a woman. He needed something to show her that he knew just how lucky he was to have her in his life and in his corner.

"Mother," he had asked, enjoying the sensation of saying it once more without the sarcasm. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Name it, my son. If it is in my power, it is yours."

"Now that is a dangerous statement if ever I heard it," Thor had said with a rumble of laughter, as Loki began to lay out what he wished for.

His mother, as always, had been as good as her word. Loki paused his pacing now to once more needlessly take inventory of his pocket universe, making sure the precious item was safely locked away for the right moment.

A light tap on the door brought him swinging around to stare at it for a moment. An unaccustomed wave of uncertainty threaded down his spine, causing his heart to beat an irregular tattoo. He wanted so much for the next series of minutes to go as he hoped. It had been longer than he could remember, now that he had memories to recall, since he had wanted anything so much.

"Loki, are you in there?" the clear, musical voice called. "Your mother said you wanted to see me."

He realized suddenly that he had stayed rooted to the spot and moved in a dash to cross the room and open the door. He smiled as he saw the small woman standing there, green dress bringing out the color of her eyes and the roses in her lips.

"My darling Caroline," he breathed, calming as his eyes met hers. "To call you lovely would be a drastic understatement. Won't you come in?"

"Of course," she smiled at him. "How are you feeling? You did have quite a morning."

"And you," he replied, ushering her into his space, "have had quite a month. Give or take."

"Fair," she acknowledged with a laugh. "We have both been through quite the wringer lately."

Loki watched her mouth as the corners tilted up and yearned to kiss it. Everything in him was telling him to gather her into his arms and not let her go until she was breathless from his embrace. But he had a question to put to her, and he wanted them both to be clear headed when he did.

"Loki, what is wrong?" she asked him, peering up at him through troubled eyes. "You do remember me, don't you?"

"I remember everything," he said, caress seeping into the words. "I remember your bravery, your strength of will, the way you put your career, your very life on the line to help me, a veritable stranger from an alien race. I remember how right it felt to hold you in my arms, and the passion we discovered together when at last I had you in my bed. Oh, min kajesta, I remember it all."

Her face had turned a beguiling shade of red while he spoke, and he watched as the pupils in her eyes dilated at his words. Once more pull to have her without a moment to loose overtook him. Just speaking her praise out loud had him straining against his leather trousers with desire.

"I am glad," she managed to squeak out, eyes darting down and up again.

Caroline made a move towards him and Loki sprung into action, darting around the table and lifting a bottle of wine to offer her.

"May I pour you a glass, darling? I promise it is not the normal Asgardian vintage, but a perfectly respectable Chateaux Margot from Midgard."

"That would be nice," she sounded confused. "Loki, tell me what is bothering you? I promise, I will accept it, whatever it is."

"Of course you will, sweetheart," he sighed, pouring the wine into two glasses and handing one to her. "Just as you accepted every other facet of my disreputable life."

"Well, I don't so much know if I accept the invasion and all the destruction that went with it," she qualified, "but I do understand the mitigating factors. But please, for the sake of my sanity, tell me what is wrong."

"My darling, since the moment you met me, bound in that cell, your life has been in upheaval. I have torn you away from your work, your friends, your home. Your very life has been threatened on numerous occasions. It cannot have been an easy time for you."

"Not easy, no," she agreed, face scrunching adorably as she considered his words. "But at it was never dull. In all honesty Loki, there were days when I thought I lost you that were horrible. You can ask Tony at some point, or Bruce, I was a basket case. But as long as you were with me, I always believed that things would somehow work out. It was only when you were gone that I was panicked."

"Ah yes, Stark and Banner," he said their names with a grimace. "They are just the problem."

"Why? I thought you and Tony had bonded? And yes, I understand that Bruce might not be your favorite person, given the Hulk smashing, but -"

"You misunderstand me, love," he interrupted her. "I am not disparaging the Midgardian heroes. I will not even say anything against that blind menace who despite his infirmity managed to look inappropriately at you. No, it just that they are, well, heroes. That is what you are used to consorting with, Caro."

"I have not consorted with any of them!"

"I do not mean it in that way," he smiled at her, grateful despite the misunderstanding to hear that she had not been more than a colleague with any of them. "I simply mean that you spent your time on Earth with a certain type of man. The heroic, selfless type to be specific."

"I would hardly call Tony selfless," she scoffed.

"You are deliberately deflecting what I am trying to say," he ground out, frustrated that she was interrupting him. "This is hard for me darling, please let me finish."

"Sorry," she mumbled, face not loosing its impatient look.

"With the caveat that Stark is possibly the only person alive as self interested as I am," he admitted, ceding her the point, "you are part of a team of heroes. Yes, there are times when certain members of that team do things that go against that code of ethics, as when they wanted to execute me without a proper trial, but for the most part, those that you surround yourself with are paragons of humanity, struggling to do what is right and just."

"Alright," she said slowly as he paused. "I might have some issues with parts of what you said, but I will grant you the basic premise. I work with a team of good guys. What is your point?"

"My point, my love, is that I am not a hero. I am a seriously flawed semi-reformed super villain at best."

"Loki," she said, face contorting to hide what looked suspiciously like laughter, "is that what you think?"

"It is the truth."

"Have you not been paying attention?" she asked in frustration, flopping down into one of his chairs and taking a long drink of wine. "Very good by the way. Alright, where to begin... How may times have you saved Thor's life? When you would go on your missions for Asgard before his thwarted coronation?"

"Countless, particularly if you take into account the times I kept him from saying or doing something dramatically stupid."

"And by how many of those missions was Asgard kept safe?"

"All of them, but it is not the same thing."

"Isn't it? You were fighting to protect your home. It is no different from what Tony does on Earth. And when we came up with the plan to retrieve the Mind Stone, the very thing that had caused you so much pain and torture, did you Tony, Thor, and I go alone? No, even though it was not your world that hung in the balance, you put your life on the line, not to mention your sanity, and helped us keep the jewel from falling into unsafe hands. What do you call that?"

"Righting a wrong I myself committed."

"But that's my point!" she insisted, sloshing wine onto the carpet as she gestured for effect. "Everyone commits wrongs. No hero is perfect. Not Matt, not Bruce, certainly not Tony. It doesn't matter if you make mistakes. What matters is that you when you do, you try to make them right. You are a hero, Loki, not because you are perfect, but because you try."

"You don't think I'm perfect?" he asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow that sent a flood of desire through her.

"I plead the fifth," she said, bringing a confused look to his face. "Loki, let me put it this way. You are all the hero I need."

"You are sure?"

"More sure than I have ever been about anything in my life. I love you, Loki."

"Well in that case," Loki took a big breath and reached into his pocket universe, "I would like to offer you this."

With all of his nerves ready to snap, he held out the small golden apple in his hand to her.

***

Caroline had been looking forward to this moment with Loki for what seemed like ages. First she had thought him gone, most likely dead if not dying. Then, just when she had found out that he was alive, his memory was wiped out, taking all of his knowledge of their relationship. She had white knuckled it through the past few days when Loki, lacking his memories, had nonetheless invited intimacies with her, ones she desperately wanted, but felt guilty indulging in with his altered state.

Now, at last, the were both healthy and whole, minds in tact. She wanting nothing in the world but to have a sizable amount of time together, alone.

She had slipped out of the room when Loki had emerged from his procedure and greeted his family. Yes, she had been separated from a fully functional Loki for days, but his separation from his family had been going on for longer. It was important, she thought, to give Loki, Frigga, and Thor a moment to reforge their frayed family bond. Watching all of the love his mother and brother surrounded him with had made Caroline happy, but she still felt as yet a bit of an outsider, not sharing the centuries of history with the three. A quiet exit seemed the most tactful action she could take.

Now at last, it was her turn. Loki had sent her a message asking that she meet him in his rooms. Suppressing a thrill she let her mind wander to why he might want to meet her there. Could it have anything to do with the large, comfy bed that dominated the room? Caroline could only hope.

Her pulse was racing as she knocked on the door. The few doors down from where she herself had been allotted quarters was long enough to amp up her excitement to a fever point.

The Loki who answered the door was not the one she had been expecting. Judging by Loki's actions in all of there previous time together, Caroline would have expected him to pounce on her. They had wasted so much time apart, be it mentally or physically, that even a few moments not in his arms seemed a crime to her. He, on the other hand appeared determined to keep the whole room between them. Why?

She tried to track his thoughts as Loki rambled on, to answer sensibly about all that they had gone through, to defend him against himself, but as he kept talking, her mind was screaming for him to throw her onto the bed that loomed just behind him and ravish her. What was taking him so long?

"You don't think I'm perfect?" Loki asked, seizing on and twisting a comment she had made in the midst of trying to convince him not to belittle himself. His look, cocky and knowing, sent a wave of lust so strong through her that Caroline pressed her thighs together to counter it.

"I plead the fifth," she said, forgetting for a moment that he would have scant knowledge of American legal terms. "Loki, let me put it this way. You are all the hero I need."

"You are sure?" he seemed intent on the point, as though their futures depended on it.

"More sure than I have ever been about anything in my life. I love you, Loki." It really was as simple as that.

"Well in that case, I would like to offer you this."

Caroline didn't know what she had been expecting. Jewelry perhaps? His empty had to pull her close to him? Certainly she had not been expecting a small, perfectly formed golden apple. She could tell from the look on his face that it was important, but she had no idea in what way. Distantly, she thought she might have seen something about an apple in that large encyclopedia she had paged through in his cabin, she couldn't remember what the significance was. She was fairly certain it was nothing to do with the Frost Giant side of his heritage.

"Thank you?" she said uncertainly, reaching for the apple.

"You don't understand, do you?" he guessed, reading her. "Of course not, how could you. Caroline, min kajesta, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I want that too, Loki," she said, beaming from the inside.

"No, you misunderstand me, my love," he smiled again, getting down on one knee in front of her chair and caressing the side of her face. "I want to spend not just the rest of your life, the short life of a mortal, with you, but the mine. The lifespan of a God."

"Loki, I am not a God, or a Goddess," she laughed nervously at the very idea.

"To me you are the very definition of Goddess," he told her, eyes brimming with love. "You are wise, gentle, strong, loving, and, to be quite candid, the most desirable creature I have ever met. All you are missing is longevity. And this apple can give it to you."

"What?" she must be hearing him wrong, she thought.

"The Golden Apples of Idun can grant a sort of immortality to any who eat them," he explained quietly. "They can, in short, turn a mortal into a God."

"How many are there?" she asked, stalling for time.

"At the moment? Three. When you have eaten one, there will be two. But fret not, more will grow. I a thousand years or so, another will take this one's place."

"Loki, I can't take that! It is too precious for me."

"The stars are not too precious for you, my dearest love," he told her seriously. "I would steal them all for you."

"Did you steal the apple?" she asked.

"I would have, if I had to, but I did not. Frigga called in a favor from Idun and procured it for me."

"Frigga did that?"

"She did. She loves me, it seems. And she thinks you are good for me. She is right, you are far too good for me, but I intend to have you nonetheless. Will you have me, min kajesta? Will you share this long life we me as we commit mischief across the galaxy? Say yes, love. Please."

"Loki," she said his name like a prayer. "Yes, my love."

#Loki #loki/ofc #fanfic #Loki fanfic #Thor #Avengers #Frigga #Therapy #romance #recovery #love #true love #future sexy times #I promise #It's back!!!#sorry for the delay #Please forgive me #Loki makes a big ask

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lotusxpop · 7 months

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Bucky: mama didn't raise no bitch, we keep going.

Sam: nah nah nah mama did raise a bitch let's go.

Peter: mama raised nobody actually, she is dead.

Sam: Peter no!

#Peter makes orphan jokes regurlarly #all the avengers worry about him #sam and bucky would have kept arguing #sam turned it into a therapy sesh instead #peter parker and the avengers #sam wilson #avengers #bucky barnes #spiderman #the falcon #the winter soldier #incorrect avengers quotes #mcu

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indigosabyss · 22 days

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Fun fact, watching the destruction of two whole planets leaves a person with trauma. Kamala's parents, being good parents, try to find her a therapist. Which is an issue, since she has a secret identity only a few people know.

So, every week, Kamala makes the trip out to S.W.O.R.D. HQ to sit awkwardly on a bench for a fifty minute therapy appointment.

Other Avengers come by to wait for their own appointments too. Or for other business. And they have no idea why the child is here.

#i went to therapy at my country's equivalent of an FBI office when i was 14 #and yes that's a big part of my personality #which is why i think it would be fun to have that experience cranked to eleven #for the record i wasn't involved in criminal actions. it was just a thing #kamala khan #ms marvel #avengers #mcu #fanfiction #ao3

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ncsdlr · 4 months

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Hit List

The Unfulfilled

Marvel

Warnings: Angst, making out, death, implied trauma, emotional pain, grief, crying, killing, failed love(?), unrequited love(?), mutual pining, manipulation

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4501

A/N: This has been in my drafts for literally almost a month. I literally finished it then sent it to my friend for proofreading then thought I might add some more stuff, so now here I am after adding said stuff. The added stuff was not proofread.

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"Your next assignment." Natasha scanned the nearly blank page with her earthy green eyes, reading its contents with pure curiosity and determination. She was the best of the best in her high ranking, and she would be damned if she let that title slip through her nimble fingers. Natasha walked out of her workplace with a pep in her step with the things she would need in her purse.

Namely, chapstick.

As Natasha drove to your home, the energetic music of Sia playing on her car radio. The redhead opted to listen to the great Sia when on missions, seeing as she offered her strangely calming vibes. Natasha judged the way your Czech Republic home looked. It definitely needed some upgrades. The crack in the walls seemed so unsafe and the peeling paint too? So unfashionable. Natasha grunted at the hideous design of your building. It was so outdated. You surely could have done way better. Natasha wished on every existing dandelion on earth that you would, at least, be her type. She needed to have fun while working.

****

"So what do I have to do e-exactly?" You rubbed at your chest as it began to tighten around your heart. This gorgeous woman could be the death of you. Literally. The two of you walked up the seemingly never-ending stairs of the Fraternity she worked in. You don't even know if you were roped into this job by her eyes or the promise of becoming better, but honestly, you sort of didn't even care.

Sort of.

In a world where what you can become is very limited, this was a bright opportunity for you. You thought of Natasha's proposition as something that can open new doors for you. All you could think of was the prospect of doing something good in this world while having fun in return, that and the part where you were going to be trained too.

"All you have to do, for now, is get trained. Then, once you're deemed ready by yours truly, you will be given an assignment that you must complete." Natasha walked around a table and you followed suit only to realize that the two of you walked in a circle around it twice before a man with whitened hair in a black suit with his arms behind his back revealed himself. "Then after that, you get more assignments, more targets, more responsibilities-"

"Wait, wait, targets? What does that mean?"

"She means you will be one of us. A killer taking down other killers." The man in the black suit says looking completely unbothered by the whole occurrence.

"Wha- a killer who kills kille- hold on." You raised both your hands and basked in the silence they allowed you to have and thought about everything going on at the moment. After a solid few minutes, the only thing you could come up with was, "So a hero?"

The pair before you sighed, one of them pinching the bridge of her nose and the other raising his eyebrows to his hairline while his eyes squeezed tight, both in an attempt to gather their bearings with how...slow you were. This is going to take so long, she's lucky she's pretty, Natasha thought.

"No, Miss Y/L/N, not a hero. More of a vigilante with a twisted morale."

The way Natasha said so nonchalantly made your eye twitch, the glint of your eyes showing both confusion and understanding at the same time. Then, all of a sudden, you find yourself in a knife battle with a butcher who seems to have it out for you in a room full of hanging gutted pigs. He used his knives against you rather carelessly to the point where you were actually bleeding from three knife wounds. One on your side, one on your arm, and one on your back.

You were going to pass out.

****

After two months' worth of on-and-off dedication to this new thing Natasha offered you, your decision is finally whole. You were in. And you celebrated that with Natasha by way of completing a mission and going for dinner afterward. It was all so much fun to hang out with Natasha in such an intimate way while still keeping it professional. She was such a lovely soul to get to know. Anybody would be lucky to know her wholly.

"So how do you feel?" Natasha eyed you through the burger she was taking a bite of as she asked you her query. She was so adorable.

"Honestly, fulfilling, but still kind of mixed. I just don't know what these people did, if they were bad people, if they were involved in the wrong kind of business, or if they had families. I mean, how do we know for sure we're doing the right thing here?"

Natasha chewed and swallowed before she spoke again. "The work we do has a questionable judgment, yes, but how we see it is that by taking out one person, we save possibly a million. The result is what we put our faith in, not the work itself."

"That's beautiful." You smiled at Natasha gently as the night dragged on. When the two of you were walking back to the Fraternity, you could swear that Natasha's hand kept brushing yours, but with how closely the two of you were walking, you dumbly let it slide and deemed it to be a coincidence.

It really couldn't be anything, right? I mean, you just killed a guy- very skillfully, might I add -so, surely this soft moment can't be happening. Plus, Natasha Romanoff is just a very flirty all-work type of gal. She didn't exactly strike you as the type to commit, so you figured it's best to hold off on that... stuff.

What a fucking day.

****

Another month flew by and now you were three missions deep into this Fraternity including your first "celebratory" mission. It was all exhilarating, to say the least. Everyone on the team had their special talents and reasons for working with this Frat, and everyone got along with everyone. They were all good people, especially Natasha. She had such a golden heart with a thick, strong glass barrier.

Truly, you've grown fond of this team over the past three months, and to call them your extended family would be a rightful title for them. They were all so caring. They treated each other like brothers and sisters, born with the same blood, and protected each other even if it meant losing their own lives or getting hurt themselves.

You saw that for yourself once, and to say that you were honored would be the greatest understatement of the fucking year. It happened on a mission where all of you were required to fight the same battle as one. You were fighting one of the enemy goons and you were too busy to see that one guy was aiming at you with a rifle. One of your peers took the shot for you, using his body as a shield for you while simultaneously shooting at your perpetrator.

Your bond with them solidified after that day. Gone were the many trust issues you had with them because now, you had a reason to trust them with your life. You couldn't think about that right now though. Right now, you are a little too preoccupied with planning how to carry out the latest mission assigned to you.

It was a pretty simple mission, one that required you to assassinate one of the guys in a well-renowned company. They were supposed to have a meeting in two days, according to the details you were given, so that's when you were going to make your move. The days passed by rather quickly with you simply moping around the Fraternity and training when you felt like it. You called it "strength preservation".

****

You stood on a moving train with Natasha sitting comfortably parallel to you with your gun in hand. You were checking if your gun needed anything more while you waited for the right moment to shoot your victim. You playfully aimed your gun at Natasha who merely smirked back at you. You thought it was sadistic, how being held at gunpoint made her reflect a toothy grin. It filled you with butterflies.

As your target's building came closer, you made no move to aim away from Natasha. You wore a sinister smile, one that was reflected beautifully by Natasha, and when the time was right, you pulled the trigger. With the way you were trained in the Fraternity, you learned how to bend the bullets you shot. Therefore, when you brought your arm back, and swung it back at Natasha, your bullet went straight through the window of the meeting room where your target was located, hitting him right in his stupid heart. Perfectly untraceable.

As opposed to Natasha's previous position on the roof of the moving train you stood upon, leaning back on her hands while one of her legs rested and the other was propped up, now, she was applauding you for your successful mission. You looked at her with a bright shy smile weaving your fingers through your hair while you calmly walked closer to her and sat down.

"Learned from the best." You stated proudly.

"Yeah, you did."

"Way to ruin the moment."

A blissful silence befell the two of you, leaning back to watch the sunset over the horizon of Russia. It was beautiful. You had just killed someone and now you were watching the day slowly end. It was somewhat peaceful as opposed to the chaos happening in the meeting room where their dead boss lay limp in his chair. You would have laughed if you saw the people running around in a panic. Meanie.

It was a moment where two assassins, you and Natasha, got to pause the world on a moving train. It was unsafe, but the thrill of it gave both of your hearts the flutter it needed. As you looked at the setting sun, Natasha's eyes, unbeknownst to you, turned to your side profile. She could get used to staring at you, your sculpted nose, your voluptuous lips, and the subtle shine in your pretty eyes. Gosh, you looked so beautiful, ready to be ravished by way of flowers and chocolates and surprise dates.

But Natasha knew she couldn't. With her initial agreement with the Fraternity leader and how you came about, she just couldn't. Not even if she tried.

****

Another day, another mission for you where Natasha was monitoring. She wasn't really required to monitor you, you both knew that, but it just felt right to be near each other so neither of you ever mentioned it. As opposed to the other places you went to with Natasha after missions, this time the two of you laid upon a random blanket the two of you found in the park. When you found it, Natasha insisted on shaking it off before taking a seat on it, saying that there could be bugs on it for all you knew.

You complied, of course.

The two of you watched the stars, occasionally pointing out constellations you would see in the sky or stars that formed a funny shape- the latter was your doing most of the time. It was calming to both of you how the stars just twinkled above your bodies while you gazed into each other eyes- when did that happen?

At the moment, the moon hosting and the stars watching, the two of you held a silent conversation, one that was had through your eyes that have seen many troubles before each other. As you looked at each other, the world simply faded, quietly and stealthily, leaving only the two of you on a random blanket in the park.

Suddenly, -you don't know how- Natasha was on you, straddling your lap while cradling your face in her hands so gently. It almost seemed like she feared your head would shatter if she handled you incorrectly. It felt so nice, so right, so meant to be. It was like you only knew each other and nothing else like the two of you existed in a void where you were each other's light in the dark. The warmth between your bodies grounded you enough to keep you both reminded of the place you were in, not that the two of you paid any attention to that.

Then it happened. In the blink of an eye, the two of you lip-locked. Your soft lips on Natasha's plump ones. It felt so good to finally have each other like this. This was the moment the two had been waiting for; a moment where hands wandered over each other's bodies, feeling each other up as if it would be the last time.

That night, no intercourse was had, but rest assured, love was made. Love was made in the form of soft gliding hands, gyrating hips, connected lips, shared warmth, and hands held tight. Love was made in ways of fingers running through hair, whispered praises, eye contact, and hugs. More kisses were shared throughout the night. Stolen or not, they were most definitely shared.

No word was muttered after that soft moment. Neither of you expected anything to happen too, but you did hope. The two of you hoped that one day, you could work something out, talk about the things that the two of you needed to talk about and get together. Because that's what the two of you wanted; to be together. It didn't matter how long it took, all you knew, at that moment, was that you wanted each other.

And that would be enough until it wasn't.

****

How did we get here?

Ah, yes.

It all started when you were on another mission and your target had a loose mouth. He flapped his tongue and sputtered out nonsense about the Fraternity you worked for and your MIA father. Frankly, you didn't care about your dad's whereabouts, you'd gotten over that years ago in therapy, but the fact that your target knew of your father's gambling and his drinking, and his abusive nature when he was around, struck a nerve. Other than talking about your sometimes dad, your target also spoke of your beloved Fraternity friends. You, honestly, would have been offended for them if not for the way that things panned out.

"You think they're all good? You think they're all clear skies and glitter?" Your target fell on his back as you kicked him in his chest in the dark alleyway. The way he was gasping for air told you you were doing a pretty good job in defeating him.

"No, I don't, but it's the result that we put our faith in and not the work itself." Natasha stood proudly behind you with her arms crossed over her chest, the smirk she wore shining with success in bending your morals to be more aligned with them. "Of course, there's always something bad in the things we do, but by taking those people out, we might be saving millions of other people."

You held your target down by his throat, cutting his breath off to the point of death before he tried to speak up again. You meant to taunt him, but his next stuttered words tickled your malleable heart. "...they lied to you. They were the ones- *cough* who had your father...killed."

Your grip loosened at the last second- or so you thought because the second you let go, your target's eyes made its final close. You slowly blinked, your thought process going a mile per minute. Little bits of information and your own opinions tossed themselves around in your head effectively sending you into overdrive. This was it, Natasha thought, the Fraternity's downfall. You were their best asset and their worst enemy, even she could admit that, and now was the time she finally completed her mission.

Natasha aimed her gun at you, seemingly unbothered. The love she held for you, the love she put aside, the love she wished she could express was raging inside her beating heart. Tears threatened her stoic eyes at the thought of having to be the one to kill you. You were her one true love, you both knew it and now she had to be the one to kill you. It was her mission. You were her mission. She had to complete her mission.

In some twisted way, she did. Natasha completed you wholly. When you were with her, everything felt right. It was like the world was suddenly a paradise where problems did not exist. With her, the world was a place where nobody knew what the word trouble meant. Natasha made you want to express your love for her, by way of holding her hand, kissing her cheek and her forehead, dancing in the rain with her, crying with her, hugging her, and doing everything good with her. You wanted to take her out on a date in the park, painting each other's portrait or the starry sky, in the fair where you would win her the biggest teddy bear, in a museum where you would only look at her because her beauty topped those of the ones hanging on the walls.

But that could never happen, right? It was only in your wildest dreams. It could never happen in real life. This world was not a place where your 'I love you's' were said aloud. This was merely a world where it was observed from afar how you cared for each other. This was only a world where stolen glances and stolen kisses were thrown around, hopeless pining was the only way to go, a world where longing eyes met eyes of sorrow and pain. It could never happen, not with the way the two of you were brought into this world. Maypahs if everything happened differently, if the two of you met under different circumstances, it could have happened.

"Is it true?"

"Yes."

****

Natasha staggered her way through the Fraternity's gates, clutching at her bag of items limply as she focused on her goal. She wore a solemn look on her face, a look that matched her dirtied clothing, dust and splatters of blood decorating her otherwise white tank top. "We trained her well." Muttered the woman in question as she passed her boss.

In the bath, Natasha wallowed in her own sorrows, the loud silence enveloping her whole while she soaked in the cold water. In the end, she couldn't do it, not to you. She loves you too much to lose you to her own hands. If it were any other person, she would probably be fine, but this was you we were talking about. You were the person she would love, and no hands will ever be able to hold her down. You were the kind of person she would risk her work for, her life, and her achievements, and that was when she realized.

Natasha loved you too much to kill you. It was like gravity was working in your favor to make her fall in love with you every time she looked at you. Natasha loved the look in your eyes when you finally learned how to curve your bullets. Natasha loved the way your eyes shined when she first held your hand in that crowd when the two of you went undercover. The two of you were partners in crime, and the two of you secretly wished to be partners in real life. So she spared you because she knew that she would never be able to kill you.

----

Your next goal now that everything was out was to go on a rampage. You'd gotten a list a few missions back where one name was particularly questionable. You asked your boss about it, but all he offered was a "Go finish your mission." So you did, but you chose not to kill the one person on the list. You could not kill Natasha Romanoff, not even if you were fully capable of defeating her.

You loved her too much to kill her. It was almost like love at first sight, how you fell in love with her. Your heart just felt like it skipped a beat and even you could feel the way your eyes dilated fully. She became your everything so quickly that you experience whiplash, but if you were being honest, you would go through it all again if it meant you get to be with Natasha. In the little time you spent with her after missions and the stolen glances you sent her, you fell in love.

You fell in love with how she carried herself with so much confidence. You fell in love with the sparkle in her eye and the way she looked at you like you were the only two people in the world. You love her in soft looks and cuddles, you loved her in ways that only meant the gentlest of love. You loved Natasha in tight hugs and kisses that made you want to do a cartwheel. You love her so much that you spared her of the fate the Fraternity gave her. You loved her too much to lose her to your own hands.

****

Your plan was set into motion and the Fraternity members' fate was coming to fruition. You got through the building, going higher each time you completed a floor. You shot through men and women alike, these were the people you used to call your friends, family even, but now it was like a switch went off, you didn't know them anymore. You made a war cry through the pain of losing your friends to your own hands, having lost all sense of sensitivity to their pain.

You don't care, you couldn't care. You haven't cared since the moment you found out it was them who had your father killed through you. You hadn't cared even when you were coming up with this plan to kill all of them and escape with the love of your life so that you could live what could be and what should be between you and her. Your plan was well-thought-out, you were certain nothing could get in the way of its impending success. But with how things are going down right now, you, surrounded by all of the highest ranking assassins you worked with and called your family, on the top floor of the Fraternity.

Natasha was among the circle, one of the friends pointing their gun at you. She was using your favorite gun of hers too, an M16. She always looked so hot using the gun. And right now, she looked especially hot with that black tank top paired with army green cargo pants - the two of you bought together after one of your missions - and the brown holster around her small waist, the waist you so desperately wanted to wrap your strong arms around.

"You are all each other's mission. Wanda, and Bruce are spared and recruited by Tony, Natasha, spared and recruited by Clint, Sam, and Bucky, spared by Steve, and Yelena, was spared by Kate. Now, you were spared by Natasha. All of you are supposed to be dead if not for me! If I had not started this Fraternity and made a place where all of you could be protected, you would all be dead!"

The lot of you remained silent as the man you surprisingly saw as a father preached about how he was the all-mighty one for saving all of you and giving you a home. I mean, yes he did do all of that, but was it really necessary to use all of you for reasons such as 'he saved you'? The answer was a hell no.

"Well, now since you're all grown-ups, I'll let you go and let you decide for your own fate." None of them, in the circle, stood down, holding their positions while contemplating how they were going to decide between killing the newest, best, and brightest and sparing you like they did each other. Apparently, none of them had to decide because Natasha beat them all to it. None of them deserve the life they were born with, trauma-filled childhoods, and painful coming-up stories. Everyone in this room deserved something better, something greater.

As Natasha swung her arm back and shot a curved bullet, she smiled at you. The few memories the two of you created together swam her head like a slowed-down timelapse. The man beside her went down first, and then the next one, then next, and the next. While her bullet was curving in a circle, Natasha tossed her gun to you, and you caught albeit fumbling before it settled perfectly in your hands, and you thought all would be well.

As the Fraternity members realized their fate, they stayed put in their spots, concluding that the life they had led was the best life they had ever had. They were thankful for all of their flaws and perfections, they were thankful for all of the decisions they've made leading up to this. Natasha thought of you, only you. Natasha thought about the drive she spent going to your workplace, she thought about the months she spent convincing you and training you to be the best you could be in the Fraternity. Natasha thought about all of the sunsets she watched with you sitting atop moving trains. Natasha thought about what could have been, the life she could have lead with you.

As the last man fell, you held Natasha's gun in your hands and aimed at the oncoming bullet only to watch as the aforementioned bullet lodged itself into the love of your life. You wailed as you saw your mission fail. No longer could you run away with Natasha because now you ran to her limp and bleeding body. You held the love of your life in your arms, offering her your warmth and showing her the love you kept hidden from her for so long. You held her head against your chest, letting her listen to your heartbeat while your thoughts ran wild with the thought of what could have been with her. The love you held for each other died out with her and you sobbed, wailed, and cursed the land you lived upon.

With no emotions left in your heart and a stoic face, you marched down to where your boss was, blinded by the rage and the pain you felt for losing your lover. With no more thought, you shot him, right in his shiny, half-bald head and watched him fall to the ground with a thud. You felt no remorse as you left the building, ready to live your life with incurable pain and guilt.

Your days passed knowing you could have saved her had you been quicker.

In pain, you were born, and in pain, you died, next to your lover's grave two weeks later. "I love you." You muttered as your last dying breath devoted itself to Natasha Romanoff, the love of your disgusting life.

#lgbtq #mcu #natasha romanoff x reader smut #this shit aint real #this is not a joke yall i cried #I CRIED #sad shit #marvel #avengers #angst #i dare you not to cry ill hunt you down #sad but true #depression is real #get therapy #xreader

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faeriecap · 10 months

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as garbage as civil war was, it really set up steves disillusionment with cap and his lack of need for the mantle, SHIELD, hell even the actual shield, leading into infinity war and endgame and that would have been the perfect time to focus on developing sams character as the new captain america for more than a three second scene instead of. groot fortnite dancing and taco bell or whatever

#i respect the path fatws took re sam processing the receipt of the shield and it’s implications for him etc #but i felt bad it had to be so rushed and crammed in around all the other plot involving the flag smashers walker bucky’s therapy #plus eli n isaiah AND his family stuff with sarah and the boys #basically what i’m saying is i just wanted all of that AND more starting earlier in the mcu #it should not have taken almost a decade to explore sams character im sorry! i love that he’s part of the next phase of the avengers #but the FALCON was part of the original phase too not that you’d know it from how they sidelined him :/#i speak #captain america #steeb #sammich #sam wilson #steve rogers #anti endgame #anti mcu #anti endgame steve #sam!cap #avengers endgame #endgame #cacw #captain america civil war

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160502 · 1 year

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if stevetony not canon then why red and blue blonde and brunette life and death moon and sun short and tall dog and cat

#stevetony #616 #mcu #steve rogers #tony stark #stony #1872 #earth's mightiest heroes #avengers assemble #literally them in every universe they r multiverse soulmates #they live rent free in my brain i need to send them both of therapy tho #are u rly soulmates if u dont try to kill each other and also end the world together in battle

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gleeksfreaksandwannabes · 2 months

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Update time!

We’re back with the first chapter of the epilogue-ish part of this story, or as I like it call it ‘the author shoves every wish she ever had for Bucky and Steve into these chapters because Marvel refuses to give them a damn break’, so enjoy!

#these ending ones have a special place in my heart #because they’re my chance to make the babies happy #i just feel like some things clicked in my brain #like steve doing therapy #and bucky being an avengers leader was one of those ideas that once it got into my brain i just had to include it #imagining him wrangling all those kids just made me really happy #cause he’d pout about it a bunch but he’d actually love it #my child #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #steve rogers #captain america #stucky #marvel #my writing #laura’s writing

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lesbian-archives · 2 years

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"A PLAGUE ON YOU! Locusts weren't available, so they settled for crickets. The San Francisco Lesbian Avengers recently unleashed a good, ol' fashioned plague on Exodus International, an umbrella agency of groups that aim to transform homosexuals to heterosexuals. The Avengers released approximately a thousand crickets into the Bay Area office of Exodus. "If anyone deserves a plague of biblical proportions right now, it's the radical right," said Avenger Liz Harris. The Avengers said they targeted Exodus because conversion programs have devastating effects on individual lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. As the crickets crawled across the office floor, one Exodus worker called 911 to report an invasion of lesbians and bugs. By the time police arrived, the Avengers had flown."

Deneuve, 1995

#image #text #lesbian #lesbianism #activism #the lesbian avengers #conversion therapy #homophobia #lesbophobia #biphobia #90s

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miss-tribbiani · 3 months

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What r we playing here Tumblr writers???? Why do I keep getting dad!Tony stark or brother!tom hiddleston???

I already have a family I'm trying to escape them!

Where is my filthy smut/fluff??? You know I get crazy when I don't get my daily dose

#i need therapy #Hello?????#loki #tom hiddleston #the avengers #tony stark #X reader #long live the fanfics

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 4 months

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i mostly very very much disliked what if season 1 but holy shit what if season 2 episode 4 is knocking it out of the park with the tony characterization (making up for killing him like FIVE TIMES IN SEASON 1 I GUESS). but yeah big fan of him losing it on gamora over new york (because NY should absolutely be his n°1 trigger no matter the context) and still deciding not to hurt her and risk everything to save strangers. that's my man.

#tony stark #marvel what if #iron man #also him tinkering with scraps to make an armor and hacking stuff and using his arc reactor to break free #i'd missed him #minor gripe is that his armor shouldn't be as advanced seeing as this is 2012 avengers tony #and they give him post IM3 armor creation skills #but he gives gamora express therapy and it makes me smile so i don't care

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ciderjacks · 4 months

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really shitty Dulcie doodles I did while watching episode 8. Bc her miserable little expressions are so good. Also ok Why is she getting treated so badly by everyone all the time. Leave my beautiful wife alone. She’s doing her best.

#deadloch #Her beautiful blue orbs. R always so miserable. Who’s doing this to our women.#I’m not putting an art tag on this it’s barely even a sketch I just want an excuse to ramble in the tags bc she’s SO miserable and wet #Ok but Srsly. Like. Dulcies relationship imploded in a huge fight and it turned out her wife hadn’t been honest with her #And one of her closest friends lied to her for years alongside her wife and then that relationship imploded bc said friend turned into thei #Most likely suspect #And then after her relationships all imploded within a night she had to stop a riot and then also got jumped on all sides by Dead Bodies #And then before she can even process that she has to deal with Hastings taking over and arresting everyone she knows #And they all blame her bc they think she called in the arrest #And then Hastings puts her on suspension solely over his prejudice/bigotry against her #Then she GETS STABBED IN THE GUT and told nonchalantly by the killer that it’ll probably be fatal #And then watches someone who was her friend and who she knew for years die brutally #Like obviously Eddie’s gonna need therapy post canon (I mean. she already desperately needed it before canon. Desperately.) but bro #Dulcies gonna need an avengers squad of mental health professionals #just for the events of episodes 5-8

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figures4fun · 7 months

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villainousshakespeare · 1 year

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Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 24

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings: Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @yespolkadotkitty@maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere @ghostypau @ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @mareebird @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @szycha22 @chokemedaddyloki @queenofallhobos @just-the-hiddles-reads @alwida10 @justjoanne242 @chantsdemarins @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokiprompts @evieplease

It had taken a satisfyingly short time to convince Thor and their mother that he was not going to be delayed in returning to Midgard. Friga had wanted to summon Eir and attempt to repair the sieve that they had made his memory. Thor had babbled some nonsense about danger if he set foot in the mortal's fortress. Loki had ignored them both with ease. The threat, made with just the right amount of intensity, that he would use his own weakened powers to access hidden paths to Earth were enough to have them both agreeing to bring him there themselves by a less strenuous route.

Loki didn't understand why they didn't just have the Gatekeeper open the Bifrost to the compound where this mortal woman was at present, but Thor was rather insistent that a stealthier course was called for. This was such an aberration from his brother's normal tendency to barrel in hammer first that both Loki and Frigga were quick to acquiesce, although their mother looked a little uneasy with the method it left to them.

"You do still have the Tesseract I assume, brother?" Thor had asked.

Another wave of sensation had rocked Loki, and he had to steady himself physically to avoid falling once again.

The Tesseract. Yes, the name filled him with something that was not quite comfort, but yet still offered a sense of relief. It was as if an escape card had been slipped into his pocket. It made sense; from what he knew of the Tesseract, container of the Space Stone, it could carry someone of sufficient mental strength to command it anywhere they wanted to go. One of the primal forces of creation, nothing he knew of would be able to stop it from taking him to Earth or anywhere else.

He had it?

Loki closed his eyes and mentally reached into his pocket dimension, paying much more attention than would usually be required in order to retrieve an item tucked away. He felt the auras of his usual items: knives, quills, paper, armor, anything he might need in his roamings, and dismissed them all. There were a few things he had not remembered adding, such as a rose-colored parka, some sort of projector, and a pair of sorcerous handcuffs. He would have to explore more later to see what else he had acquired in his missing days. There! in the midst of all the objects was a gently glowing blue cube that emitted a powerful aura.

Loki had pulled it out into the night air and held it aloft. How had he come to have one of the building blocks of the universe in his possession? It was yet another mystery to be solved. Right then however, he had been too concerned with the first problem. Who was this woman, this mortal of all things, who filled him with such a sense of need that he was willing to put his health at risk in order to find her and assure himself of her safety?

"Oh Loki, the Tesseract?" Frigga sighed in a voice he had been hearing his entire life.

"Apparently," he shrugged, tossing it up and catching it just for the effect. He couldn't have them realize how off his game he truly was after all.

"Give it to me, you are in no condition to use it."

"Mother -"

"Do not try to dissemble with me! You can barely stand on your own accord, how do propose to control an artifact of such power? More like than not you would end up on some random moon if you tried on your own. If you want to go, and must go now, then you will let me provide the guidance. End of discussion."

When it came right down to it, he had not been feeling at his best, and if there was any person he trusted to turn over such a weapon to it was his mother. Reluctantly he had handed the cube to Frigga and seen her breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thor, you know where this place is where Loki's friend is being kept?" Frigga asked in a brisk tone.

"I believe so," Thor answered. "My guess is that friend Stark should have been able to keep her in his rooms, rather than seeing her put into the prison."

"His rooms?" Loki growled, not liking the sound of that one bit, even though he had no idea who the person they spoke of was.

"A very large suite, Brother," Thor hastened to assure him. "Several rooms. In any event, you need not fear. He is only a little fellow, and a mortal, though fierce in battle."

"I fear nothing," he had said automatically, still not liking the situation Thor presented.

"Alright," Frigga had cut through their discussion. "Each of you place a hand on my shoulder, like when you were children. Thor, I am going to enter your mind; visualize where this woman would be for me. As much detail as you can. Loki, no over-extending yourself, but gently reach for me. That's it. Now, brace yourselves my sons."

The teleportation had taken more out of him than Loki cared to admit. Frigga's firm arm locked with his had been all that kept him steady as the terrace around them disappeared and reconfigured itself into some sort of sitting room filled with human furniture in silvers and grey. He was grateful for her discrete support and shot her a quick look of thanks while Thor shook off the trip like a pet emerging from a lake.

Too late he had reached for the Tesseract, only to see Frigga turn her wrist and remove it to her own impenetrable storage with a smile that dared him to protest. Well, that too would be a battle for another time. He had to find this person. This doctor. His heart screamed that everything else was second no matter how much his intellect told him otherwise. It was extremely irritating.

"Where is she?" he had demanded of Thor, looking around and not seeing anyone.

"Calm down Brother," the note of ill-concealed amusement in Thor's voice rankled to no end and made him itch for his knives. "I told you the suite was large. She should be here somewhere, assuming Pierce didn't kill her."

And then a dagger had been in his hand, and a snarl escaped his lips. If anyone had laid so much as a hand on her, he would make them long for an easy death.

"Loki, control yourself," Frigga had snapped at him. "And Thor, show some respect for your brother's feelings. I am sure that this Doctor Thorpe is safe and near. Ah, I think I hear voices coming from that direction. Thor, perhaps you should lead, since you are friends with the Mortal who's home we have invaded."

Loki had showed his opinion of that plan by roughly pushing past his brother and wrenching open the door out of the room. He could hear the voices then, though not what they were saying. One was low and masculine, the other had a bell like quality that went right to his heart. It was her. He would bet what remained of his soul on it. He had to see her. Once he did, everything would be right again.

Charging down the corridor, he had come at last to another room with couches, chairs, and a low table, artwork decorating the walls. He hadn't seen any of it. There, seated on one of the couches, had been Her.

He had known the minute his eyes clapped upon her. A relatively small woman, she was dressed in a grey sweatshirt several sizes too big for her that was rumpled and unflattering. Her hair, a mess of snarled curls, was tied up on the top of her head somewhat crookedly, several large chunks falling down at random. Deep, dark smudges shadowed her eyes, speaking of sleepless nights and tearful days.

Loki had never seen anyone more beautiful in his life.

He had stood in the doorway, transfixed by the sight of her eyes. They were red and watery, but that could not disguise the sharp intelligence and, even more breathtaking, the kindness that shone forth from them. Those eyes, he had thought in a brilliantly clear moment, could take all the sorrows in all the world and make them bearable. Compassion, acceptance, and humor glinted in their bottomless depth. He wanted it, all of it, for himself.

Which made the fact that at that very moment they were shining on someone else, someone who was clasping her hand and smiling back at her, absolutely unacceptable.

An intense haze of red colored all before him. Loki did not know who she was, but he knew with a certainty beyond anything else that it was his eyes she should be staring into, his hand that belonged in hers. He would kill this worm of a Mortal for daring to touch the match to his soul. Menacingly, his grip on his knife tightened.

"If you want to keep that hand," he spoke quietly from the doorway, "I suggest you remove it from my Lady's. Now."

***

That voice, low and filled with menace, was the most wonderful sound she had ever heard.

Caroline's eyes flew from Matt's face over to the entrance. He was there. Standing in the doorway to the sitting room was the only man she would ever love. For the first time in over a week, Caroline's heart seemed to beat once more.

"Loki," she said, his name and nothing more, rising to her feet.

"In all my glory," he smiled, eyes moving over her.

Caroline felt a momentary pang of embarrassment for how she must look. Since the horrible incident she had taken the bare minimum of interest in her personal appearance, only doing enough so that her friends would stop hounding her about it. As her eyes took in Loki, however, she forgot her own state as his registered in her mind.

Loki had always been thin, although Caroline knew firsthand how much lovely muscle was hiding beneath his clothing. Now though, his cheeks were hollower and the soft green tunic he wore seemed to drape loosely on his frame. His beautiful pale skin contained even less color than before if that were possible, and his sharp eyes betrayed the slightest hint of exhaustion.

She had spent quite a bit of quality time with her alien prince; Caroline knew how carefully he guarded his appearance. If he was showing visible signs of fatigue, then he must have been in a bad way indeed. He was alive yes, but he had been hurt, grievously, and it was all her fault.

"Loki, I am so sorry," she stuttered, taking a step but not daring to approach closer. "I swear, I never meant to hurt you."

An odd look flickered across his face, and she realized that his eyes, which had become open and shining when he looked at her during their time together, were guarded once more. Of course. How could she expect anything else? She had shot him, almost killing him. Their relationship could not be the same.

"Doctor Caroline! You are here!" Thor bounded up to stand next to his brother. "You see Loki, I told you she would not be killed or incarcerated."

"I am relieved to see that you were right for once," Loki's eyes had still not left her face.

"Pierce tried, by Tony insisted on keeping me here," she said, wishing he would open his arms for her but not wanting to presume. "I guess for once the rich having undue influence worked in my favor."

"Ah, well I suppose I owe you thanks then," Loki's voice did not sound particularly friendly.

To her surprise, she found that his eyes turned away from her to gaze improbably to Matt with an open hostility.

"No, Brother, that is not friend Stark," Thor whispered loudly in Loki's ear. "I know it is difficult, as most Midgardian males look the same, particularly the smaller ones. I myself have made similar mistakes in the past."

"Matt Murdock, attorney," Matt said, extending his hand.

Thor shook Matt's hand with enthusiasm, but Loki only looked at it. Matt waited a moment, and then pulled it back with a shrug.

"I take it you are the Asgardians," he said.

"Oh, yes. Matt, this is Loki and Thor. Princes of Asgard," she didn't know what Loki's feelings were for his family at the moment, but he and Thor seemed to be forming a united front.

"Although they are not acting like it at the moment," a female voice dripping with disapproval added.

Caroline tore her eyes away from Loki with an effort to see a tall woman come up to stand beside him. To call her beautiful would be an understatement. Tall and regal with intricately styled red-gold hair, the woman personified grace. Caroline at once felt even more bedraggled in comparison.

"Forgive us, Mother," Thor lowered his head, but Loki kept his green eyes flickering between Caroline and Matt.

Mother. This was Frigga, Loki's mother and Goddess in her own right. Of all the times to be introduced to her, Caroline could not think of a worse one. Not only did she look like a street urchin, but she had committed an act of violence on the other woman's son.

"Your Majesty," she said, dipping her head since there was no way she was going to try a curtsey.

"Ah, so you are Doctor Thorpe," Frigga said, giving Caroline a quick once over that she was sure saw every inch of her.

"I am."

"My son has been anxious to see you. I am pleased to make the acquaintance of one so dear to him, although I could wish the circumstances were different."

"I'm honored."

"You are honored, she is pleased," Loki drawled, looking around the room. "Now that we are done with that, all of the rest of you to go away."

"Loki!" Frigga chastised.

"Very well," Loki said with a melodramatic sigh. "I would very much like for everyone to kindly leave Caroline and I alone. Now. Better?"

"Barely," his mother allowed. "Very well. We will wait in the next room."

Frigga turned and departed with an encouragingly smiling Thor. Matt began to follow, but stopped at the last minute, putting one hand on Caroline's shoulder and looking disconcertingly straight at her.

"You'll be okay?" he asked her.

"Far more than you will be if you keep insisting on touching what you shouldn't," Loki said dangerously.

"I'll be fine," she lied, thinking she was like to combust on the spot.

"I'll be right next door," Matt ignored him. "My hearing is excellent, so just yell if you need me. Loki, it's been educational."

With an ironic twist of his expressive lips, Murdock followed the Asgardian contingent out. Caroline noticed the way Loki's glare tracked him, and she felt a horrible surge of excitement. Surely if he was that unhappy with Matt's attention to her he couldn't have completely written her off.

The door shut, and they were alone. Caroline stared at Loki in exquisite torture as he remained silent. She had hoped and wished for nothing more than to see him again, alive and well. No matter what happened, she would be forever grateful that he had survived the blast she had shot him with. Still, it was hell to be so close to him and not touch him, not assure for herself that he was real and there and whole.

Finally, when she thought she might explode, Loki walked the few short steps and stood looming over her. One of his long, elegant fingers traced the side of her face, and Caroline let out a trembling sigh at the contact. His eyes, hooded and revealing nothing, captured hers and seemed to bore deep inside her soul, looking for something. She would have happily given him anything in that moment, if he had only named. it.

"My love," he said at last.

Just those two words, but Caroline let out a sob nonetheless, throwing herself into him and tightly wrapping her arms around him. Loki smiled, lifting her chin and claiming her mouth for a long, desperately needed kiss that nourished her more than any meal could ever do. He did not hurry, letting his hands explore her body as his tongue did the same to her mouth. It was searching, like his gave had been, giving her the chance to relearn how it felt to be in his embrace. When he finally pulled away, it was to sink down onto the sofa, bringing her down next to him. She felt at home and safe at last after the nightmare of the past days.

"So, you are Caroline," he mused, looking at her. "I am relieved to know what good taste I have."

As she stared at him in shock, Loki burst into manic laughter.

#Loki fic #fan fiction #Loki/ofc #romance #memory loss #post Avengers Assemble #Loki gets therapy #love #angst #smut in previous chapters #Thor #Frigga #Matt Murdock #snarky Loki #Loki has issues #Tesseract #reunion #the course of true love

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