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#avengers x reader
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y/n, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Natasha, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Yelena: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Natahsa: playing systemic oppression
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evendeadlmthehero · a month ago
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Looking at the Past
Summary: Loki gets captured by the TVA and gets to see his past were he finds out that he had a lover; you.
A/N: so I watched the first episode of Loki and it inspired me to get out of my writers block and write a story about Loki looking back at his past and sees someone that loved him. So trigger warning VERY EMOTIONAL AND LOKI EPISODE 1 SPOILERS
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Loki had never felt so far away from the concept of control until now. He never felt so lost, so helpless and so purposeless until he stepped foot in the TVA. He hated the feeling, he hated feeling this way, he hated the Avengers but most of all, Loki hated himself.
At first, he thought it was a joke. That this place was all a front, that he was a God and a God was the most powerful being. However, after visiting Casey and finding the multitude of infinity stones used as paper weight, he realised that the TVA was no joke. The TVA was in fact the keepers of time and all the choices his made were choices that was already written.
Except him running away of course.
Loki looked at the projector that was playing before, paused on all the Avengers. A thought had slowly crept into his brain. The thought of looking at his whole life. He shuddered at the thought. He was scared. Mobius had told him his life purpose was to create pain and suffering for others so that they can achieve the best version of themselves. Had that been true? Was his whole life just pain and suffering? Had his life been a meaningless void filled to aid others to the betterment of themselves while he crumbled to nothingness?
Loki let out a sigh, thinking to himself how he might as well see how horrible his life was. He sat down on the metal chair, letting out a breath. His shaky hand went to the player, fast forwarding it to his mother’s death. The death that he had caused.
A single tear rolled down his cheek as he realised that his mother’s death was on him. He never thought Mobius was telling truth, that he was lying to manipulate Loki. But the infinity stones in Casey’s drawers had reminded him about the awful fact that he did indeed kill his mother. He was the reason why his mother had died. In an effort to gain control of his life, he lost the one thing that mattered to him the most; his mother.
He fast forwarded it but paused when he saw an familiar face, your familiar face. He was confused, you were the one who fought against him with the Avengers, why did you show up again? Did he come back to Earth?
“Loki, you are not responsible for your mother’s death,” you spoke, walking around to face him. He could see the skyline behind you, realising it was the Avenger’s Tower. Apparently he had returned to Earth after his mother’s demise.
“I led them to her!” He heard himself yell, chucking a glass. But you didn’t flinch. “I led them to her! I killed her!”
He watched as you walked closer to him, grabbing his hand. “You were in your lowest state, vulnerable to your weakest intuition. Your father had imprisoned you. Even though someone had been torturing you to do the things you had to do to New York.”
Loki flinched at that. Were you guys that close that he told you his deepest darkest secret? About how Thanos had tortured him and imprisoned him to get the other infinity stones?
“How did you know about that?” Loki yelled at you.
Apparently not.
“Because I can tell when someone has been tortured and manipulated by monsters,” you replied back in a calm voice, your eyes tearing up. “I know Loki. I know how it feels to helpless, to feel lost and unwanted and-“
Loki stopped it, his breath trembling. He fast forwarded it, not wanting to hear anything else as more tears fell down his face. He paused again, seeing a provocative image fill the screen and his veins filled with curiosity.
“Loki,” he heard your voice moan. He watched on as he saw himself not fucking you, but making love to you. He watched himself, his eyes filled with love and adoration at yourself.
He watched as your bodies molded together so perfectly, how you were both moving in synchrony. He watched as none of you broke eye contact, as both of you moaned in pure bliss.
“I love you,” he heard himself tell you. Something he never realised he would ever tell anyone. And by the vulnerability in his eyes, he knew future him had a hard time even saying it. He looked at you as if he was scared he had frightened you, as if those words had pushed you away.
But it didn’t. It had made your bright and beautiful smile broaden even more.
“I love you too.”
He let out a breath, not stopping himself from crying this time. Had he finally found someone who loved him for himself? Had he really been that lucky? He paused it again, looking at you. How your eyes looked at his. How calming and serene you two looked together.
He fast forwarded.
“How could you do that!” He heard himself screaming at you. Your face was in tears, looking back at him. “How could you be so idiotic, I told you to go back!”
“Why are you so mad, I’m still alive aren’t I?” You yelled back, clutching your stomach.
“Barely! God you humans are so daft!” He yelled back at you, his hands brushing his hair back. “Humans are so fucking daft and fucking pathetic!”
“Oh I’m sorry God Almighty, forgot you were immortal!” You yelled back, letting out a groan as your stomach was fighting against your screaming. “I’ll take the thank you later.”
“Thank you? Thank you!” Loki yelled back at you. “That weapon would’ve barely scratched me! You didn’t need to risk your life to stop it! You didn’t need to almost die just so you get to play hero and-“
“Don’t you understand that I can’t lose you!” He heard you scream louder than ever before, making him go silent. You let out a sob, shaking your head. “You’re the only- only good thing that has ever happened to me. And and- fuck, it scares me how much I love you. I love you Loki Laufeyson. I love you so much that I’d go through hell and back just to make you smile even if it meant I wasn’t alive to see it!”
Loki paused the video, letting out a sob before shaking his head. He couldn’t even fathom it. He thought he was an unlovable monster. Yet it seemed that you were blind to all of it.
He fast forward.
“I bought you a house,” Loki heard himself again.
You two were lying on bed, looking like you were in a private room on a spaceship. Both of you cuddling under the the sheets, Loki’s fingers drawing shapes on your skin.
You laughed at him, not taking him serious. But his face didn’t change, stopping your laugh. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“Mhmm,” Loki replied back kissing your knuckles. You giggled at him, and Loki’s smile widened at your laugh. Even the Loki who watched on felt himself smiling at the sound of your voice giggling.
“And how did you get the money?”
“A god doesn’t pay.” Loki replied, laughing as you slapped him in the arm.
“Where’s the house? On Asgard?” You replied back jokingly. “How convenient for you, it’s in ashes now.”
“Earth.” Loki pushed your hair back. You looked at him in disbelief.
“Earth?” You questioned him, your face in bewilderment. “I thought you hated Earth, which is why we decided to visit Asgard instead.”
“But you love it,” Loki replied back, kissing your forehead. “And if you love it, then that’s enough for me.”
Loki fast forwarded it, unable to handle it watching it anymore. He needed to see how this played out. So he went to the end.
The hairs in his forearm rose as he stood up from his seat at the site of Thanos. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine, your bloodied face in the back.
“Please,” he heard you wheeze out, tears uncontrollably running down your face. You tried crawling over to Thanos, trying to find mercy within the Titan. “Please.”
“I am feeling generous today,” The Titan said with a smile before picking up Loki by the neck.
“No!” He heard you scream. It was as if all the energy in your body came out all at once as you got up to run, only to be locked down by pieces of metal from one of the children of Thanos. “No! Let him go please!”
“So I’ll only kill you, and I’ll spare your brother and the girl,” Thanos said, before snapping his neck.
Loki let out a deep breath, his whole body shaking. He heard you scream in agony, a shriek that can only be described as a mother losing a child to war. He watched as you flung your body on him, trying to protect him from the explosion of the ship. He watched as Thor begged you to leave, but you yelling that you weren’t going to leave him alone, that he was not dying alone. And then he watched on as the words ‘End of File’ were etched on the screen.
Loki shook his head, before he started laughing. Laughing at himself. Laughing at his life. Laughing at how just as life was getting better for himself, just as he started making amends, he died.
“What's so funny?” He heard a voice say behind him. Loki smirked, turning around. The women looked at him weirdly, his face all tear stricken.
“Glorious purpose.”
“Loki?” Mobius called out to Loki who was sitting down, his hands on his face with the tesseract next to him. “Nowhere left to run.”
“I can't go back, can I? Back to my timeline?” Loki asked, feeling helpless. Feeling sad. Sad because he will never have a story with you, a life with you. “I don't enjoy hurting people. I- I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.”
Mobius slowly walked over to Loki, feeling a bit more motivated now that Loki was opening up to him more. “Okay, explain that to me.”
“Because it's part of the illusion,” Loki explained, letting out a sigh. “It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”
“A desperate play for control,” Mobius finished for him, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. “You do know yourself.”
“A villain,” Loki scoffed. Mobius shook his head.
“That's not how I see it.” He then looked at the tesseract that was near Loki. “You try to use that?”
“Oh, several times,” Loki laughed, looking at the tesseract with now lost interest. Men and women have died for this. Have started wars for this. Yet compared to the sacred timeline, these stones were toys. “Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. The TVA is formidable.”
“That's been my experience.” Mobius peeked an eye on Loki, feeling sympathetic. He let out a sigh. “Listen, I can't offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen.”
“And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?” Loki had asked him.
“That's right.”
“Why me?” Loki asked confusedly, arching an eyebrow.
“Because the Variant we're hunting,” he paused, looking Loki in the eye.
“Is Y/N”
You let out a breath, watching the minute men as they walked out of the portal. You hid back in the darkness, looking as the scene played out in front of you.
“I think some jackass found himself a time machine, came back here to get rich,” one of them spoke. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at their laziness. The TVA might be powerful, but god their workers were indolent.
“Should we fan out and look for him, sir?” A smarter minute man asked.
“Nah. It's not worth the paperwork.” The minute man turned around, looking at the other worker. “Just prune it. Let's bail. Set a charge.”
The minuteman was about to set the charge but before he did, he made eye contact with you. You raised a hand up, purple light seeping through your fingers. “Wait. Someone's out there.”
“Who are you!” The minute men spoke, pointing their weapon at you. You know walked towards them, a little coy smile on your lips.
“I’ll make this easy for you guys.” You pointed at the device. “I want that. Give it to me, and I’ll spare you.”
“No you can’t just walk in here and-“
“Fine,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. Your finger lit up an even brighter purple spark, before pointing it towards the oil and lighting it up in flames.
You watched as the minute men burned into flames, slight twinge of guilt seeping through your veins. The Avengers would be so disappointed in you. But that thought disappeared as soon as it came to your head. You wanted Loki back, no matter what the cost.
You would walk to hell and back just to see him smile.
So you walked over to the device, picking it up before transforming back into your true form. The form you took after the final battle against Thanos. The form you took after you snapped your fingers, after taking the gauntlet. You didn’t care if you died when you wore the infinity gauntlet, you already lost Loki. But you didn’t died. Instead…
You became the Infinity Witch.
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fandomsuntied03 · 4 months ago
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Bucky *screeching*: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!
Y/N: wh-
Bucky: YOU’RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!
Y/N:why are you screaming??
Bucky: BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO YELL SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGRESSIVE TONE!
Y/N: I-
Bucky: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!
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soap-bubble-nebula · 4 months ago
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the experiment. || Bucky Barnes x Reader
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Requested by anon: Can I request an Avengers x reader, Bucky x reader fic where the reader was a Hydra experiment at a hydra base and whenever she couldn't use her powers properly, they made Bucky (as the Winter Soldier) inflict punishments on the reader. (Then after bucky joins the Avengers) whenever the reader is fighting the avengers she's fearless but everytime she sees Bucky she gets scared and runs away from the fight. At some point Bucky realizes why she's so scared of him and somehow convinces her that he and the avengers want to help her. Oh and you can choose whether you want it to be Bucky x reader or a platonic Bucky x teen!reader where he becomes her father figure! thanks and sorry it's so long 😅
Word Count: 7.9K
Warnings: Violence, accounts of physical abuse
A/N: Anon, we are Bucky stans here. We always fall in love with Bucky :) I hope you enjoy! 
Saying that being a Hydra experiment was difficult and traumatizing is an understatement. You barely spoke, and you didn’t know anything about your life before Hydra. As far as you know, you woke up for the first time in that facility, in a fully grown body. Hydra had been working on a way to fuse a person with electricity for a long time, and there you were. Many had died in the process, but you were the first success. You were able to supercharge metal, make equipment magnetic and glitch around from place to place, leaving sparks in your wake. 
Despite being the first to survive these experiments, you were not automatically proficient in their use and the Hydra scientists hated that. You had no idea how long you had been stuck in the facility, but you never felt the need to leave, or escape. That was everything you knew, your barren room, constant tests, the mediocre food that was mostly skipped and replaced with an IV drip. There was no one to tell you that the outside world was any different, that there was life outside of the facility, until they started sending you out on missions.
One of the more difficult parts of being an experiment with Hydra, was that you were never taught anything; it was beat into you. Should you have tried to rebel and use your powers to harm the scientists, or should it get out of your control, you were beat into submission. 
There was only one person who has ever made you cower in fear. The Winter Soldier. His piercing blue eyes are ones that had been drilled into you, and triggered your desire to run away. You hated him. He was the bane of your existence, but he was also who you feared most, more than those who turned you into who you were. 
You would never forget this one instance where you were trying to glitch around the room, the scientists watching from behind a tempered glass. You were trying your hardest, the edges of your body starting to glitch before stopping completely. “Try harder!” They shouted and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will your body to disappear into a spark. 
“Get him,” The scientist said and you felt your blood start to pump, your eyes widened and you looked at the glass with pleading eyes, fear overtaking your features. “No,” You said and squeezed your eyes shut again, trying to glitch before the Winter Soldier made it to the room you were in. The edges of your body were sparking and turning into pixels, but you couldn’t force them anymore. The door opened and your eyes widened as a gasp was let out from your mouth.
There he was, menacing and staring you down. You tried to force the glitch again, to get away from him, but you were unsuccessful. “Come on, come on,” You tried to get yourself to twitch out of your spot as you moved your legs backwards, the Winter Soldier slowly stepping towards you. 
“No, no, no!” You shouted and the Winter Soldier raised his metal arm, punching you in the stomach. He punched and kicked you to a pulp and you were on the ground, twitching and crying in agony. You body was misshapen, bruises and blood coating your frame, and you were fairly certain you had broken a few ribs. 
“That’s enough,” One of the scientists ordered. “Try it again,” He said and you laid down on the ground as the Winter Soldier stood by in the corner, watching you with a glare. 
You squeezed your eyes shut, your body starting to glitch, but you wouldn’t blink out of the space you were in. Your legs and arms glitched out and returned. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and your body reset, returning to its natural state. 
“Hit her again,” The scientist said, looking at the Winter Soldier who walked towards you. Your breathing picked up and tears pricked at your eyes as you squeezed them shut, trying to force a glitch. You opened your eyes, watching as the Winter Soldier raised his arm to hit you, and you closed them again, waiting for the impact that never came. You opened one eye and then the other, noting how he was no longer standing over you and the ceiling was in a different orientation. You had glitched to a different spot in the room.
“Very good,” The scientist sang, and you sighed, breathing starting to slow down as your eyes closed. 
Things like that happened every time Hydra tried to get you to use a new feature of your power, and when they lost the Winter Soldier, they had to hurt you themselves. They never did tell you what happened to him, but you found out later on. 
“This is the target,” One of the scientists showed you a picture of a governor. Your eyes glossed over the image, face blank. “The Avengers have caught wind of your activities. Try and be quick.” You looked up at him, not saying a word, gaze cold and steely. 
“Off you go,” He said and you left, getting on your bike and leaving the New York facility. You set up on the roof of a building where the governor was supposed to be giving a speech, and you pulled out your gun, charging the bullets with your powers before loading the weapon. 
You waited for the governor to make his appearance and once he did, aimed your weapon at him, looking through the scope. You closed one eye, finger beginning to squeeze the trigger, before you were swept up into the air by the back of your vest. You were looking down, going higher into the sky and you looked up, seeing Iron Man holding you.
“Hey there,” He snarked and you looked up at him, face still blank. You reached up to his hand and shocked the metal of his suit, causing it to malfunction and he dropped you. You continued to fall and then glitched back onto the roof of the building, putting your hands on your weapon again, before another woman with red hair started attacking you. You skillfully fought back, dodging her punches and punching her back. 
A man with a shield showed up. You grabbed onto the woman with the red hair, glitching into a locked room and leaving her there, while you returned to deal with the other man. 
You knocked the shield out of the man’s hand, grabbing it, supercharging it and chucking it back at him. You were mid combat with the man when a third person showed up. One that you recognized. You were frozen in shock, as your eyes met his frame. In your frozen state, the man in front of you hit you in the face, causing blood to drip from your cheekbone. You fell over, as the Winter Soldier approached, ready to fight. You crawled backwards on the ground, your breathing picking up and your face changing its expression for the first time in weeks. Fear filled your eyes as you quickly ran, grabbing your weapons and equipment and glitched out of sight, onto your motorbike. 
***
Steve looked at Bucky as soon as you disappeared. “What the fuck?” Bucky cocked his head to the side. Steve looked back at Bucky, confused. “Did you know her?” He asked, and Bucky shook his head. 
Tony landed back on the roof. “Where is she?” He asked, unequipping his mask. “She glitched out and left,” Bucky explained and Tony sighed. “We’ve been in pursuit of her for months. No wonder she’s been so slippery,” Tony puts his hands on his hips and looks down at the governor and the crowd.
“At least he’s okay,” Steve pointed out, making sure there was no one injured. “Dammit!” Tony cussed under his breath. “Where did you go?” Bucky asked him. 
“She made my suit malfunction. I had to wait for FRIDAY to get a handle on it,” Tony explained. There was a pause between all of them before Steve looked around. “Where’s Nat?” 
They found her in a locked room in the building that they were on the roof of, bringing her back to the tower with them. Despite you having gotten away, Bucky was confused. The way you looked at him then was stuck in his mind, like an imprint. He was certain he didn’t know you, but that didn’t mean the Winter Soldier didn’t. The moment kept replaying in his mind, the way you had lost your balance and your face changed as you faced him. You were gone quicker than anything, and he didn’t know why. 
Several weeks after that, Steve was pursuing you in the streets of New York, as you were on your bike, going against the traffic and trying to get away from him. He had caught you while you were in the middle of another assassination, and he chased you down. You looked over behind you, where he was also on his bike and quickly gaining on you. You closed your eyes, veering your bike left to cut him off, drifting and glitching out, letting your bike fly towards him. He jumped off, his vehicle being destroyed by yours, the smoke from the exhausts catching fire and combusting. 
You started running down the street, pushing past people while Steve tried to get eyes on you. He quickly chased you, pressing the comms that was in his ear and reaching Bucky.
“Buck! She’s going down 86th street! I’m gonna need you to cut her off. I can’t catch up to her with that glitch,” He shouted as he continued running. You looked over your shoulder briefly, and glitched midrun, reappearing on the fire escape of a building while Steve ran below you, not catching where you reappeared. He looked left and right, his back towards you and you quickly made your way to the rooftop.
You looked over the edge, ducking your head down as you eyed his every move. “I lost her,” He said.
“But I didn’t,” A voice responded and you gasped, recognizing it. You turned around and were met with those same blue eyes that you feared. You started trembling and for a moment, you forgot that you had powers that could allow you to escape. “Who are you?” Bucky grabbed your vest and your eyes filled with fear as tears pricked in the corners of your eyes. 
After staring into your orbs for a while, something seemed to click in his head. “I... I know you,” He admitted and in his moments of surprise, you put your hand on his metal arm, shocking him so that it malfunctioned, and he recoiled from the pain of the shock, allowing you to glitch down into the building so that you could make your escape.
**
“You had her right there and you let her get away?!” Tony shouted at Bucky looked back him. “She shocked my arm! I couldn’t get it to move.” He tried to explain. “You have another, fully functioning arm, Barnes!” Tony tried to argue. 
“I couldn’t do anything about it! She caught me by surprise and glitched before I could grab her!” 
Before Tony could argue any further, Steve came in between them. “Tony, you’ve experienced a malfunction from her before. You know what it’s like. In any case, we don’t know where she is and we’re just gonna have to come up with a solution.” Steve said and Tony glared at both of the two men before leaving. Once he was gone and out of earshot, Steve turned to his friend.
“So,” Steve started. “What actually happened on that rooftop?” He knew Bucky too well and Bucky grit his teeth, his jaw tightening. “I know her, Steve.” Bucky’s voice got lower. Steve’s face grew serious. “How?” 
“I think... I think she’s another Hydra experiment,” Bucky explained. “You’re saying she’s Hydra?” Steve’s brows furrowed even more. They had been trying to identify what group you were working for, but they thought Hydra had been eradicated. No one ever thought they could still be functioning in the shadows.
Bucky nodded his head. “Do you remember anything else?” Steve asked and Bucky wracked his brain, running his hands through his long hair to try and get any information. “I don’t know. I just saw her eyes. She started crying, Steve. She’s terrified of me. I don’t know why,” Bucky seemed to feel sympathetic towards your situation. He didn’t know what he did as the Winter Soldier, but he felt apologetic towards you. After all, he understood your situation more than anyone. 
Bucky had nightmares that night; dreams in which he saw you, bloodied and bruised, cowering on the floor as he beat you half to death. He heard your screams and cries so vividly that he woke up at four in the morning panting, your shouts of agony still ringing in his ears. He got up out of his bed and put his hands on his hips, pacing around. 
“I... hurt her. All the time,” He thought aloud, realizing what was actually going on and then quickly ran to Steve’s room, pounding on the door. Steve woke up and looked at the clock, getting out of bed and opening the door. 
“Buck? What is it?” Steve rubbed at his eyes and Bucky pushed past him, going inside of his room and pacing around. “Bucky?” Steve called, realizing that something was wrong.
“I used to hurt her,” Bucky said and Steve looked at him. “Who? The girl?” 
“Hydra used to send me in there to hurt her if she wasn’t able to use her powers,” Bucky crossed his arms, continuing his pacing. “Like... Hit her?” Steve was hesitant to clarify and Bucky closed his eyes, sighing, knowing that Steve hit the nail on the head. 
“God, Buck,” Steve rubbed his forehead. “We have to get her, Steve.” Bucky said and Steve raised his brows. “Get her? Like bring her here?” 
“Yes.” Bucky nodded. “Are you insane? Tony hates her guts. She’s Hydra!” 
“He hated my guts, too. He’ll come around. We just have to show him she can be an asset.” Bucky and Steve spoke back and forth, Steve finally conceding to the idea of doing a secret extraction. But first, they had to find you.
**
It took them some time, but they eventually found you. They pinpointed your exact location by following power outages in certain areas. It was almost like you were leading them right to you. You were asleep in your barren room at around midnight, when you heard shouts and hollers of guards outside. Your eyes shot open and you stood up, trying to look through the window on the door as much as possible without being there. You were chained to your bed, with a rare metal that blocked out your powers and were resistant to your supercharging them. You suddenly caught a flash of dark hair and your metal door was being pounded in. You gasped, swinging your legs off the bed and trying to yank the chains off. You weren’t able to use your powers, and the door was seconds away from being busted in. 
The door flew open and you looked up, meeting that cold blue gaze again. You started to have trouble breathing as you tried to yank the chains off the bed, pulling and pulling until your wrists started to burn. The Winter Soldier was approaching you slowly and you felt your eyes water as you continued to furiously yank at the chains. Bucky took his mask off. 
“Hey, hey, hey.” He tried. “Calm down,” He said and you continued to yank your arms back, trying to get rid of the chains that had you confined to the bed, You were crying, tears spilling out of your eyes. Bucky approached you and used his metal arm to break the ends that were attached to the furniture, leaving the chains dangling from cuffs on your wrists. The sight of his metal arm being put to use again made you cower in fear and you fell over, moving backwards as far as possible and being pushed into the corner. You put your head in your knees and avoided looking at him. 
“It’s okay,” he tried to start and he put his human hand down to help you up. You looked at it and quickly sprinted out of the room, unable to glitch anywhere. You looked over your shoulder to check if he was following you and ran right into Steve. You tried running in the other direction, but saw Bucky coming out to block the other end of the hallway. 
You were stuck in the middle and you looked at the two of them. “It’s okay. We don’t wanna hurt you,” Steve started and you quickly ran towards him, sliding down in between his open legs and running around the facility, the two of them tried to chase you, Bucky going one way and Steve in the other, trying to catch you. 
You were running, having no weapons or protective gear, you knew there was no way you could take these guys. You turned a corner and ran right into Steve. You gasped and turned, but he grabbed you from behind, catching you in his arms. “Shh... We’re trying to save you. We’re gonna get you out of here.” He tried to calm you down as you slowly started to relax, realizing he wasn’t hurting you with his touch. 
Out of here? I can have a life beyond these walls? Like the people I always see in the street? You thought.
Bucky then walked to catch up and you cowered into Steve’s arms, putting your head into his chest instinctively and gripping his clothes.
Bucky’s heart wrenched as he stayed where he was, avoiding coming any closer so that he wouldn’t scare you. “It’s okay. Bucky’s not gonna hurt you,” Steve said and you turned your head to the side to look at the man he called ‘Bucky.’ One look and you sucked in a breath, turning your head back to Steve’s chest. 
“I’ll keep my distance,” Bucky said to Steve and Steve nodded, helping you stand up straight and leading you out of the facility with a gentle grip while Bucky trailed behind. You got on the jet, and it was still dark. 
You sat on the floor in the corner of the jet the entire time, clutching your knees to your chest. It was only a 30 minute plane ride back to the city, having been on the outskirts of it for the duration of your time there. 
Steve was tasked with watching you for the journey, and he tried talking to you throughout it. “You don’t have to be afraid. None of us are going to hurt you.” He paused as he took in your features. You were looking everywhere but at him. “What’s your name?” He asked and you didn’t say anything. Steve smiled slightly. “I’m Steve. That’s Bucky,” He introduced and you continued to just stare at him. 
Steve stood up and walked over to a drawer. He pulled it open and found a pen and paper, walking back. “Do you feel comfortable writing stuff to me?” He asked, handing you the items and you took them hesitantly. 
You gave him a look, wondering whether or not you should share any information with him. Though you were Hydra’s successful experiment, they failed in one aspect; making you into a cold-blooded killer. You did as you were told to avoid punishment, but you didn’t kill anyone you weren’t ordered to. Despite your chaotic history, they failed in wiping out the little bits of who you used to be; the parts of you that they could never truly erase, the shy, compassionate parts. You clutched onto them, pretending they didn’t exist so that you can have some sense of yourself and who you used to be.
After a few minutes of talking Steve sighed, realizing you wouldn’t be communicating in any way. He went to grab you some water and your shaky hand that was clutching the pen came into contact with the paper.
‘Y/n.’ You wrote on it and left it on the ground. Steve returned with a bottle of water for you, that you hesitantly grabbed. His eyes fell on the inked piece of paper in between the two of you. 
Steve picked it up and read it out loud. “Y/n. That’s a nice name,” He said and you pursed your lips, looking down at your bare feet. 
“Are you hungry?” You looked up at him, surprised. They hadn’t offered you food since your dinner time which was at 6pm. It was nearly 2 in the morning. You slowly picked up the paper and wrote. ‘Yes,’ handing it to him. 
He smiled at you and went into a separate room, bringing you a granola bar. He returned and handed it to you. You looked at it confused, having never seen anything like that before in your life. Your brows furrowed as you looked around it, trying to decipher what it was. Steve chuckled and opened it, handing it to you. 
You held it and bit down, a simple flavor and crunch spreading through your mouth. You blinked multiple times, wondering what this was and why it tasted so good. You even found yourself letting out a slight smile at the refreshing taste of it. 
“Have you never had a granola bar before?” Steve asked and you shook your head. You lifted the long sleeve of your top and showed him your IV. “There’s lots of incredible foods we can show you. I’m sure Bucky even has some favorites,” At the mention of his name you stopped chewing, quickly glancing at the back of Bucky’s head before looking back down at your snack. 
Steve sat himself on the floor next to you and grabbed the paper you were using to talk to him. He picked up the pen and wrote. ‘Are you scared of Bucky?’
You replied. ‘Yes,’
Steve knew the answer, but somehow he was disappointed to hear about it, though he wasn’t surprised. ‘He’s a good guy now.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ You wrote out. ‘I’m sure you’ll see it soon,’ Steve wrote back and you left it at that. Steve had sent a message to Tony and the team that they were bringing you back to the tower, and as soon as you landed, you were arrested and dragged into the tower. You looked back to Steve in a panic.
“Steve, Bucky. Good work with this one. We’ll see what we can get out of her,” Tony turned and Steve grabbed his arm. “Hey, no. You can’t imprison her,” He said and Tony furrowed his brows. 
“Are you kidding me? She’s a murderer!” Tony said. “Take one look in her eyes and tell me she’s a fucking murderer then,” Bucky snapped and Tony shut his mouth.
“We’re interrogating her, and that’s final,” Tony said and followed the agents who apprehended you. They put you in some type of glass container, the chains removed from your wrists. You were hyperventilating as you glitched around, trying to escape, but you were never able to make it past the glass. You banged on the glass, trying to breath, eventually realizing it was hopeless and you pressed your back to the glass and slid down, leaning your head back and hitting the glass. 
There were a few agents there guarding you, and they let Tony in. You turned towards him and watched as he approached you. “How’s it feel? I’m sure you’ll come to like staying in there,” Tony said and you slammed your hands on the glass. He didn’t even flinch.
“If you start talking, then maybe I could give you a book to read. Pass the time,” Tony snarked and you didn’t say a word. Tony shrugged and then turned to leave. You breathed on the glass, causing it fog up, and used your finger to write out a word. 
Tony stopped when he heard the squeaking of your finger against the glass, turning to see what you had written out. You had presented him with the name of the one person who you believed was genuinely trying to help you.
‘STEVE.’
**
Tony knew what that meant. It meant you’d only talk to Steve, and if that’s what it took to get you to speak, then he would make sure that the Captain was there to talk to you. It took a bit of convincing, and Steve came downstairs and saw you, laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “Hey,” He called and you looked up. You were clutching the pen and notepad you were given, since Steve said he’d only be able to talk to you if you had those items.
You ran over to the glass and put your hands on it. You quickly wrote something out on the paper and pressed it to the glass. ‘I want to get out of here.’ 
“I know you do. You gotta talk to me about some stuff first.” Steve said and you held the notepad to your chest. You thought about what would happen to you if you spoke to Steve. You didn’t want to stay in prison. Considering this, you asked him the one question you always wanted to know the answer to.
‘Can I have a real life?’ 
Steve looked at your sad eyes and read the paper. “I think so. Bucky did it. I think you can, too.” Even though you grimaced at the mention of his name, things started to make sense in your head. 
You pursed your lips and closed your watering eyes. You couldn’t believe you had finally had an out; a way to really let go of the torture and the crimes. Steeling yourself you took in a deep inhale through your nose, your face unchanged. 
‘I’ll tell you everything you want to know.’
And you did. You gave Steve every detail about your life, what you had observed by watching the scientists and the people around you, the crimes you had committed. Steve bargained for you with Tony, saying that he’ll only give him the information if you could have a chance at a life in the tower. 
“Are you nuts? No way.” Tony shook his head and scoffed at Steve. “She could be a real asset to us! She has those incredible powers. She doesn’t want to be an experiment anymore,” 
“And you’re just going to take her word for it?” Tony looked at Steve frustratedly. 
“Tony, you don’t understand. She’s not a cold-blooded killer. There’s something in the way that she was conditioned. It’s not like Bucky. She’s a sweet girl, who has real feelings. It’s just been buried for so long,” Steve made your case.
“Rogers. This isn’t a goddamn charity for ex-Hydra agents. She’s going to prison,” Tony snapped and Steve sighed. “Get her evaluated. At least do that before you make any rash decisions. She could really do great things,”
Tony somehow agreed to that and had you evaluated by a therapist. As you were sitting in the therapists’ glass office coloring a picture, chains around your ankles and wrists, the therapist spoke with Bucky, Steve and Tony outside. 
“Y/n’s not a danger to you. She did what she did out of fear, because of torture.” She explained. “Is she coloring?” Tony asked, looking confused. Despite being a grown woman, your face had the innocence of a child while you colored. “Yes, Mr. Stark. She doesn’t remember her childhood. As far as she’s concerned, she was born a fully grown adult.”
“She drew these,” The therapist showed the guys the detailed images you drew of some of the torture devices, or some of the men who would beat you. One of them was a looming, dark picture of Bucky. Tony turned to Bucky. “You were apart of her torture?” 
Bucky avoided looking at Tony, giving him the answer to his question. Tony saw you through the glass office, with your childlike focus as you colored, and something in him softened. Perhaps Steve was right. 
You were released and moved into the tower that day. You looked around in awe at your room and the comfy bed. You picked up the notepad that you had been carrying around. ‘Am I staying here?’ You asked Steve and he nodded.
“Yeah. This is your new room,” Steve smiled. 
‘I don’t have to be chained anymore?’ You asked and he shook his head. “No one is going to chain you here,” Steve said and you sat down at the edge of the bed, feeling the soft mattress underneath your fingertips. Tears pricked your eyes as you watched Steve. “What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned and you looked at him. You wrote out on your notepad.
‘Thank you so much.’
Steve smiled and sat next to you. “Don’t worry about it. Welcome home,” He said and you nearly started sobbing. He showed you where your toiletries were, how to work the shower and where you could store all your things. 
He then left you so that you were able to get settled in. Once you were alone, checking out drawers and such, a knock sounded. You opened the door and there stood Nat. You pursed your lips and took a few steps back. You quickly rushed to your notepad.
‘Sorry about that one time,’ You wrote out and showed it to her. She seemed amused. Nat’s opinion of you wasn’t low. She knew something more was going on when you didn’t kill her, but instead moved her aside. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t you talk?” She asked and you paused. “Are you mute?” She asked and you shook your head, quickly writing out a sentence.
‘I haven't spoken in years,’
“How come?” She asked and you wrote a new sentence. ‘I was never allowed to.’
“You’re allowed to here. No one’s gonna hurt you,” Nat said and you shrugged. 
‘It’s not that simple,’
She knew you were right, it would take you some time to warm up to everyone and feel comfortable enough to talk to them. Nat gave you a tour of the tower and the kitchen. There, you saw so many foods that you had never seen before. You would pick up something and point at it, Nat telling you what it was. “That’s a plum,” 
You knew what general ingredients were, but some things you had never seen. You held the plum close, wanting to try it. “You wanna try it?” Nat asked and you nodded. “Those are Bucky’s, so we’ll have to ask-” You immediately put it back at the mention of his name, and shook your head. 
“Oh... Okay,” Nat looked confused. 
Whenever you walked into the common room and Bucky was there, you turned around and walked out. The next few weeks sucked for him, since you always avoided him. “Why’re you freaking out about this?” Steve asked his friend one day.
“Because I want her to know that I’m not that guy anymore,” Bucky said and looked at his friend. “There’s something more than that. What is it?” Steve was perceptive and Bucky sighed, crossing his arms. “I guess, I just feel responsible for her. I’m a big part of the reason she turned out this way. I don’t want her to be afraid of me... I just wanna take care of her,” 
“Well. We can come up with a plan. She hasn’t been out of the compound yet. Maybe if you take her and she experiences something good with you, it’ll start to change her thoughts.” Steve was right. So he and Bucky came up with a plan for an afternoon trip around the area, making sure to tie in some of Bucky’s favorite places. 
One day, you walked into the common room to find Steve sitting at the kitchen counter. “Hey, Y/n. Want a snack?” He asked and you nodded, walking up to the counter to sit down. Steve made you a snack, and that was when Bucky walked in. You stood up to leave and Steve put a hand on your shoulder. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Sit down,” You sat back down, facing Bucky so that he wouldn’t attack you from behind.
“Hey, Y/n,” Bucky smiled and your face stayed blank. “I was gonna head out into the city. Did you wanna come?” He asked and you shook your head. Steve put his hand on your shoulder. “Hey. It’ll be okay. Bucky’s nice and you haven’t had a chance to explore the city yet, have you?” Steve asked, knowing the answer. 
You shook your head. “Well, this is your chance. If anything happens, call me. I’ll come get you, I promise,” He said and you gave one look at Bucky who was smiling at you and you hesitated. You put your notepad down on the counter and pulled out your pen. ‘Shoes.’ You dropped the pen and ran to your room, putting shoes on and coming back. The two men leaned over to see what you had written and Bucky sighed in relief, grinning at Steve who grinned back. 
You came back in a few minutes, Bucky still standing there. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded. You picked up your notepad and your pen. You stood awkwardly with Bucky in the elevator, avoiding his gaze every chance you got. 
Bucky didn’t press you and walked out of the front doors of the tower, holding them open for you. You stood outside and took in New York in a different light. You smiled at it. You weren’t running this time, you were just taking in the light coming through the buildings and coating the busy streets. Bucky watched you, amusedly and then started walking. “Come on,” He called and you walked a little ways behind him. He stopped walking and turned around, noticing how you were keeping your distance. 
“You don’t have to worry about anything. Stand next to me,” He smiled and you were clearly reluctant, your facial features twitching a bit. Before you could even make a decision, Bucky slowed down to match your pace, so that you were walking side by side. 
Bucky took you around the area, showing you to a bookstore first. You looked around at all the books. “Pick out whatever you want,” He said and you seemed hesitant, unsure if you even liked to read. But you walked around anyway, looking through books. 
“If you wanna find out what a book is about, they have a description on the back,” Bucky picked up a random book and showed you. You nodded and continued to look through, picking up books and checking their backs. 
You stopped on an eye catching cover of a girl holding weapons. You turned it around and saw that it was about an assassin falling in love with the person who stopped her. After reading more details about the assassin, you found that you related to her a lot. 
“You like that one?” Bucky asked and you looked at it, hesitant to say anything. Bucky knew that you did. “Come on. Bring it with you,” You followed Bucky up to the register and he paid for the book, allowing the lady to put it in a bag. Once you left, he handed you the bag and you were confused. You pointed at yourself and he nodded. “That’s for you.” 
You pulled out your notepad. ‘No one’s ever given me a gift before. Thank you,’
Bucky smiled, knowing that you were making important progress with him. He walked with you up and down certain streets, telling you stories about them and pointing out cool details. He also bought you a warm sweater since the weather was getting colder. To end the afternoon, you went to have lunch at Bucky’s favorite diner. 
He told you about why it was his favorite, and you didn’t know what to get while you were looking at the menu, so Bucky ordered for the two of you. You had never tasted something so good in your entire life. Bucky was smiling at you as you ate and you met his eyes, shyly looking away. 
After eating, Bucky looked at the menu again, intending to order milkshakes. “Soy milk? What’s that? Milk introducing itself in Spanish?” Bucky scoffed under his breath and you clapped a hand to your mouth, trying to hold in your laughter. 
Bucky raised his brows and looked up from the menu. Your eyes were squeezed shut and you were hunched over to the side, giggling quietly. Bucky laughed with you. “You really found that funny?” He asked and you nodded, still holding your hands to your mouth.
“You can laugh here. No one is gonna punish you for that,” Bucky said and you dropped your hands, your face still in a smile at the joke. “Hey, look at you. You have a cute smile,” He said and your face fell, your brows raised and your face flushed. You stared at him and he looked confused, you turned your head to the side. “Something wrong?” Bucky asked and you shook your head.
‘No one’s ever called me cute before,’ You wrote and showed it to Bucky. “Well, see. They were all assholes. I think you’re very cute,” He said and you smiled slightly, looking down at the ground. Bucky ordered the two of you vanilla milkshakes and you put your lips up to the straw, pulling the drink, as a mild sweetness spread over your tongue. It was cold, and pleasant and your eyes widened as you looked at Bucky, who was already watching you. The edges of your body started glitching out and becoming pixelated before they subsided.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” He asked and you nodded, your lips spreading in a smile. He chuckled. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” He said and your smile fell slightly. 
What was happening here? You had come to the conclusion that he was different than before early on in your trip. That, mixed with him constantly trying to talk to you without hurting you in the days you’ve spent in the tower convinced you enough. But there was something else going on that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 
You walked back to the tower with Bucky, clutching the gifts that Bucky got you while you were out. Your opinion of him was surely changing, but you didn’t know what it would turn into. 
You didn’t speak for weeks after that, but Bucky continuously took you out and hung out with you. He even trained you in the gym. You read more books, started watching movies together and were around each other a lot. 
The first time you spoke was when Bucky and Sam were out on a mission and you were hanging out in the common area with Steve and Nat. You were getting worried about Bucky since he hadn’t checked on you recently. You went to Tony’s lab and knocked on the door. “Hey, kid,” Tony greeted. 
You and Tony had gotten closer over the last few weeks and he started to see the innocence that the therapist was talking about. You even helped him supercharge some of his weapons or turn on something without a power source. You handed him your notepad.
‘Where’s Bucky?’ 
“He’s still not back yet, kiddo. I’m not sure.” He said and you sighed. “Why are you so worried about Bucky? Do you like him or something?” Tony teased and you paused. You sat down on the other side of his metal table where he was tinkering with things. He was standing across from you and you wrote. ‘How do I know if I like someone?’ 
Tony really felt he was having a conversation with a teenager. Even though he’d understood that you never had a chance at those experiences, he still had a hard time grasping how innocent you actually were. “Well, you know you like someone when you always think about them, want to be around them, enjoy spending time with them.”
You thought about his words. You had seen people romantically holding hands in the streets, and you’ve read about it in books, seen it in movies. You had been imagining holding Bucky’s hand or being close to him. Maybe that’s how you knew you liked him.
You quickly wrote something out. ‘Is it wrong for me to like him? He used to hurt me.’ 
“It’s not wrong. Bucky did something to me in the past and we’re friends now. His past self and current self are two different people. Besides, you can’t help who you like,” Tony said as he looked at you. You put your head in your hand, and pushed your mouth to the side.
“Hey,” Tony called and you looked up. “Don’t hold back on the things that make you happy. We don’t all get second chances at life, but you did. I don’t want you to regret starting over, I need you to promise me you won’t hold back.”
‘I promise,’ You wrote, and smiled at Tony. He smiled back and continued tinkering. Then all of a sudden, FRIDAY’s voice came over the speakers. “Agents Barnes and Wilson have returned from their mission. Barnes is injured, and will be taken to the infirmary upon landing,” 
You looked up, panic taking your eyes as you looked back down at Tony. “FRIDAY, what’s their ETA?” Tony asked. “ETA: approximately one hour,” She replied and you ran out, going to wait on the roof for their arrival. You stayed there, waiting for them to land. And once they did, you stood up, ready to assist them in any way possible. Sam came out limping, Bucky’s arm around his shoulder and you ran up to them.
“We need to get him to the infirmary.” Sam said and you nodded, quickly putting your hand in Bucky’s and a hand on Sam’s shoulder. You glitched all of you down to the infirmary.
Sam got the attentions of the attending nurses and doctors and they put Bucky on a stretcher, you instinctively followed them. “Sorry, Miss. You’re gonna have to wait here,” one of the nurses said. 
You quickly jot something down. ‘I want to make sure he’s okay.’
“I understand, Miss. We’ll help him and we’ll call you in when you can see him,” She turned around to follow the doctors and you stood there. A hand come to your shoulder. “He’ll be fine. The doctors here are great,” Sam tried to reassure and you looked at him, analyzing his injuries. He was scratched up and bruised, but he was still standing. 
‘Are you okay?’ You wrote and he chuckled. “I’ve been better. I’m gonna get cleaned up with the nurses. You gonna be okay on your own?” He asked and you nodded. He turned to leave, walking away with a nurse.
You stayed in the waiting room. You waited until a doctor came out about an hour or so later to talk to you. “Hi, Miss. Could you come with me?” He asked and you quickly stood up to follow him. “He’s fine. He’s sustained some minor head injuries and we had to give him some stitches. But he should be waking up soon.” The man explained and you used your notepad to write out a message. 
‘Thank you so much.’ The doctor nodded and let you into the room where they were keeping him. He left and you were there, looking at Bucky passed out on a hospital bed. You sat next to him and waited for him to wake up. You were hesitant to say something. You knew that no matter what you wrote he wouldn’t be able to see it, and the only option left is to say something out loud. You steeled your nerves and pursed your lips. 
“Bucky?” You called. His name, although it was foreign to your tongue, felt so familiar. You put your hand in his and squeezed a little. “Bucky.” You called again and he didn’t move. 
“Please wake up,” You said. The sound of your voice was strange to you, as though it was the first time you were hearing it. “You’re gonna be okay,” You said. 
After 40 minutes or so of you waiting by his bedside and using your notepad to draw, he stirred. You sat up straighter. He opened his eyes, his face was turned away from yours. “Bucky?” You called and he whipped his head around at the unfamiliar voice. 
“Did you... did you just talk?” He asked and you shut your mouth. “You’re not in trouble. I promise. I’m just... surprised.” He admitted. The sound of your voice was mellifluous; a sound that he knew he wanted to keep hearing. Unbeknownst to you, Bucky had also been developing feelings for you while the two of you spent a lot of time together. 
“Can I ask you a favor?” He asked and you nodded. He licked his lips, a smile coming on his face. He reached out his hand to grab yours and you let him. “Could you say my name again?” His voice dropped down to nearly a whisper as his eyes narrowed affectionately and the ghost of a smile played on his lips.
You looked shy but you looked him in the eyes, your face flushing the whole time. “Bucky,” Your voice reached his ears and his face broke out into a smile. “Again,” He asked and you blinked a few times, confused. 
“Bucky,” He smiled and pulled you towards him. “Your voice is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard, doll,” He said as his thumb rubbed across your knuckles. Something came over you in that moment. You didn’t know what, but you immediately pressed your lips to his, without thinking. Bucky’s initial surprise was shoved aside by the realization that you were kissing him right now, and he moved his lips with yours.
After a few short moments, you pulled away and he smiled widely. “God bless America,” He said and you chuckled and lightly slapped his bicep. “Hey, is that any way to treat an injured soldier?” He mocked annoyance and gave you a look. 
“What does this mean?” You asked and he was still taken aback by the fact that you were talking, but tried not to let it show so that you wouldn’t be shocked into silence again.
“It means you like me, and also that I like you,” He explained. “Yeah, but what do we do now?” You asked, your voice still relatively low as you hadn’t gotten used to saying sentences out loud yet. 
“Well, I could ask you out on a date. Would you like that?” He asked and you nodded. “I’ve never been on a date before,” You said. 
“That’s not an issue. I could show you what a date feels like,” Bucky grinned and you nodded. “I’d like that.” 
Something shifted in the way you saw his eyes that day. They were no longer scary and they didn’t drive fear into your heart. Instead, they were comforting and clear, eyes that you would have loved to get lost in. 
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lesbian-deadpool · 2 months ago
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Y/N: Okay, so let’s go over this one more time.
Y/N: If something breaks?
Peter: We try to fix it before Tony finds out!
Y/N: Yes! And if that doesn't work?
Peter: We blame it on Loki!
Loki: Honestly, fuck you guys.
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scarletxwinter · 4 months ago
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Dr Strange, meditating: Finally, let me just relax and—
Wong: hey look, that Spider-Kid is a criminal, Maximoff girl held an entire town hostage and tried to change reality, there’s also an alternate branch in time back in 2012 where Loki escaped with the Tesseract.
Dr. Strange:...
Wong: Look at the bright side, I found some money to buy us TWO Tuna Melt :)
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headcanons for being an avenger as a teenager
- they all see you as a child (except peter since he’s only a year or so older)
-they know that you’re strong, and can handle yourself, but they all feel protective parent vibes over you, and try to keep you out of danger
-on missions they like to make sure youre near them, or they try to have someone with you at all times
- “y/n where are you”-sam, “my b, i’m right here”
-turns around and sees you fighting 5 people at once, and you wink at him
-used to random touches during the day, whether a hug, or a pat on the head (vision is not the best at showing affection)
- you and loki are very good friends, ever since he found out you enjoy pranking people
-“y/n, what’re you doing in my room”, “sorry to bother you mr.loki, but i was wondering if you could help me with this prank i was thinking of”, “i’m listening”, “ok what if we filled the whole compound with wasps, not real ones, just fake one with like that magic you use or whatever”, “i’m adopting you”
-you have a youtube channel of videos of all the avengers just lounging about, or fooling around
-your video of sam telling bucky “ok boomer” becoming the next twitter meme
-“captain america says a bad word: not clickbait”
-movie nights
-everyone sitting on this massive and soft couch, having a movie marathon whether it be star wars, harry potter, etc.
-halfway through, falling asleep on thor, and him feeling honored that you trust him enough to sleep on him.
-clint laughing that this teenage kid is sleeping on the lap of a literal God
-on that note
-clint teaching you archery
-*moves your arm into place* “okay kid, release” “i’m katniss bitch” “you completely missed the target” “irrelevant”
-nat trying to teach you some fighting moves
-“why do i have to learn this, i can literally move stuff with my mind”, “shut up and just follow what i’m doing”
-being pretty good at it
-you and peter making treats, and snacks for the team, like cookies and cupcakes
-having team members come up to y’all, requesting specific desserts
-sam just really likes snickerdoodle cookies, okayy?
- in the end, they all love you, and you couldn’t be happier with your big, super family
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itsallyscorner · 5 months ago
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Baby’s First Heartbreak
pairing: marvel cast x teen!fem!reader, Scarlett Johansson x reader, Elizabeth Olsen x reader
prompt: the youngest member of the marvel cast experiences her first breakup.
warnings: not much—crying, a break up.
A/n: Tom is 19 here because this is set during Civil War. He was such a baby omg🥺
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You were always a firm believer in having hope. No matter what the situation was, you knew that you had to at least try before fully giving up. You were only 18, but it was the mindset you grew up with. You were taught to face things with bravery and confidence, you faced things head to head with all your might. Though some things never went the way you planned, you were still the ray of sunshine you were, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to learn and explore the world.
You had the same mindset going into your first relationship. Love was something you’ve always wanted to experience. Sure, you received it from your friends and family. But you wanted the different kind of love. The special one that was shared between two people. The one that made your heart skip a beat and made you breathless. Where staring into that special someone’s eyes felt like you were being transported into another world where it was just the two of you.
You’ve found that kind of love in a boy from your hometown. The two of you had been friends since pre-k, growing up along side each other, and being there for each other’s success and failures. You’ve known him all your life but the feelings didn’t come till sophomore year of high school. It all just clicked all of sudden; that one day where he said you looked cute in his jumper and the next moment you knew you were seeing him in a new light. Junior year, you were both beating around the bush; constantly pining over each other with longing stares and fingers always brushing against each other. Though you didn’t see him all the time due to your job as an actress. You spent half of the school year in your hometown and the rest at Atlanta. Of course he knew of your job and as much as he hated to see you go, he knew you were doing something that made you happy. So he spent as much time as he could with you before your time together came to an end. A few days prior to your flight to Atlanta, under the night sky of your backyard, he admitted his feelings for you. By senior year, the two of you had been dating for half a year. It had been the best moments of your life, you were in love and high on happiness, it was like nothing in life could ever go wrong.
Now here you were, in your trailer on the set of Captain America: Civil War, sobbing you eyes out. You knew loving could hurt, but not this much. You still felt your heart skip a beat, but it was clenching in heartache. You were still breathless, but because you’ve been trying to catch your breath after every sob that wracked your body. You felt broken. The boy you loved had ripped your heart out of your chest and threw it onto the floor, stomping on it till it stopped beating.
You hiccuped as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You were nothing but a fool. A fool who had hope in something that was never going to work. You sniffled as you snatched tissues out of the box on your bathroom sink, dabbing the material onto your eyes and blowing your nose. Your eyes were red and your cheeks were puffy. A sigh of frustration releases from your body. There was no way you could walk onto set without people asking you what was wrong.
You debated asking your assistant to ask your designated makeup artist to do your makeup in your trailer, you didn’t want to be a bother. But your thumbs were already shamefully typing away the request on your phone. A few minutes later Eleanor, your makeup artist on set, arrives at your trailer with her supplies in hand.
She doesn’t directly question you, but she has the look of a concerned mother once she sees your face. You lie to her and tell her you weren’t having a good day and chalked it up to being homesick.
You dreaded going on set. You weren’t sure if you could face anyone without bursting into tears. The moment you felt like you were okay, your heart would clench, reminding you of the ache it was feeling.
You were in your costume, sitting on the sidelines of the set while you rehearsed your lines. The dialogue from the script acted as a distraction from the current pain you were feeling. The tears had stopped but your eyes felt dry, making you blink multiple times to keep them wet.
“Hey, sweetheart.” You look up and meet the stunning blue eyes of Chris Evans. That typical goofy smile of his was etched onto his features. Usually you would reciprocate that smile, but today you just couldn’t find it in your heart to do so. His smile falters when he sees your face.
“Morning.” You greet him, forcing a smile. Concern shadows on his face as he shifts a bit closer to you. “You alright?” He asks, eyes softening at you. Being the youngest of all the Avengers cast members, everyone had a soft side for you. Especially Chris, who saw you as a daughter.
“Y-yeah, I’ve just got—allergies.” You lied, another fake smile forcing itself onto your lips.
“Well have you taken something to help your allergies? Do you need Allegra? Claritin or something?” He looked around ready to call one of the runners on set to get you some meds.
“No! I took some already, a few minutes ago! It probably hasn’t kicked in yet.” You tell him. He eyes you reluctantly, not knowing if he should believe you. He decides to let it pass and nods, “Ok, tell me if you need anything though.”
You hum in response and tilt your head down back to your script.
The day goes on and everyone had caught on to your lack of—being you. The infamous smile everyone knew you by was barely on your face. You didn’t crack jokes with Anthony or share a giggle with Elizabeth. Instead you were quiet, a frown was on your face as you stared blankly at the floor. You didn’t interact with anybody, keeping to yourself and walking off set whenever one of the Russos called cut.
Anthony and Sebastian watched as you walked off the set. You have all finished a sequence of the airport scene and the Russos had given everyone a break while they rewatched the scenes they shot. Anthony’s brows furrowed while he watched your figure go further and further away. He had tried to cheer you up, telling you a joke about how Seb’s arm lube kept leaking out his fake arm. Your response was nothing but a fake laugh—it wasn’t even a fake laugh, more like a huff of laughter.
“She didn’t laugh at my joke.” Anthony thought aloud. Sebastian quirked an eye at his friend, “Does she have to laugh at all your jokes?”
“No, but even if I tell her a corny ass joke, she’ll still laugh at it.” He expressed, throwing his arms up. Sebastian’s lip pouted as he thought back to your behavior on set. You were acting unusual. He turns to Tom (Holland) and asks, “Hey, has (y/n) said anything to you? Like anything bothering her?”
The Brit shakes his head, “Um, nope. Besides filming, I haven’t spoken to her today.”
Anthony crosses his arms, approaching Tom, “Have you tried speaking to her? We’ve been trying to figure out what’s been going on with her today and you’re the closest to her age here.”
“I—I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t seem in a talking mood. I thought I was bothering her so I just stopped.” Tom answered. He gestures to the direction of the trailers, “I could check up on her right now? Maybe I’ll get her one of her favorite snacks from crafties, it might cheer her up.”
Half of a smile makes it way onto Sebastian’s face at the boy’s efforts. Though you were clearly upset and he felt like they were all prodding at your privacy. “Maybe we should give her some time alone.”
Tom frowns at the older man, “But (y/n)’s upset. Shouldn’t we do something?” Anthony agrees with Tom and looks at Sebastian.
Seb raises his hands up in defense, “I’m just saying—maybe she wants to be alone. She went back to her trailer away from everybody. She probably doesn’t want us shoving our noses into her business, we should respect that.”
Chris joins the group along with Scarlett and Elizabeth. He had overhead the group talking and urged the two ladies to join him in on the conversation.
“You guys talking about (y/n)?” Chris asks, hands on his waist.
“Yeah, Seb says we should leave her be.” Anthony fills him in.
“She told me she had allergies.” Chris starts. “She’s an amazing actress, but kid’s gotta work on the lying.” He finishes. Elizabeth and Scarlett glance at each other.
“Well has anyone talked to her at all today? Besides Chris?” Elizabeth asked the group. Everyone shakes their head. Elizabeth sighs while looking around at anyone else who could’ve talked to you. She spots Eleanor hanging along the sides with her makeup belt on, ready for touch ups. Elizabeth calls her over. Eleanor has her brush ready to powder her down, but Elizabeth politely declines.
“You do (y/n)‘s makeup right?”
Eleanor nods, “Yeah, I do.”
“How was she this morning? We’re just a bit concerned since she’s been acting different today.” Eleanor sighs, knowing if she told them it would be an invasion of your privacy. Although, they were all concerned for you and so was she.
“I got a text from her assistant telling me to do her makeup in her trailer today.” She began. “I walked in and her eyes were red, cheeks puffy—“
Chris apologizes and interrupts her, “Because of allergies?”
Eleanor shakes her head, “No, she never mentioned anything about allergies. But she looked like she’s been crying. She was wiping her face when I arrived.”
“Did she give you a reason for why she was crying?” Scarlett questions her.
“She told me she was feeling homesick.” Eleanor answered. Scarlett turned to Chris and shared a look. Elizabeth thanks Eleanor then turns back to the group.
“We need to check up on her.” Anthony says. All the men nodded and began to make their way to your trailer. Suddenly, they were stopped by Scarlett and Elizabeth.
“But (y/n)—“ Tom said pointing to the trailers. Scarlett shakes her head, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Lizzie and I will go. You guys are gonna overwhelm her with all your questions.” Scarlett insists, much to the men’s dismay. They wanted to be there for you, but maybe a mother figure might help you open up with what’s bothering you. They agree and let the two women go to your trailer. Before they can get to you, they get some snacks from crafties for you.
As soon as you shut the trailer’s door behind you, the tears welled up in your eyes again. It only took a matter of seconds until they fell from your eyes and down your cheeks. You heard some people walk by outside and cover your mouth to muffle the whimpers that came out your mouth. You slid down the door and shoved your head into your hands. You leaned forward against your knees as you cried into your arms. You felt pathetic, embarrassed, anger; you were feeling so many things and the only way to let them all out seemed to be crying.
They heard your cries from behind the door. Scarlett sends Elizabeth an alarmed look as she rushes up to your door. She knocked on it repeatedly, causing you to jump from behind the door. Your cries come to a stop while you try to wipe away the tears as best as you can.
“(Y/n), honey, please open the door.” You hear Scarlett say. You remain silent, getting up and dusting your legs off. You stare at the door, debating whether you should open it or not.
“(Y/n), everyone’s worried about you. We just want to help.” Another voice coaxes you behind the door. Elizabeth. “Please let us in.”
Outside, the two women had their ears pressed up against your trailer’s door. Scarlett tries to get you to open the door again, “It’s only me and Lizzie. I promise.”
There was some shuffling heard behind the door. The door pushes open slowly, making Scarlett and Elizabeth back away. A worried expression appears on Scarlett’s face once she sees you. She cups your cheeks, her thumbs gently swiping away some tears that fell from your eyes. The two of them shuffle inside your trailer. You burst out into tears once again when Scarlett wraps her arms around you. She moves you both to sit on the couch that was in your trailer. She lets you shove your head into the crook of her neck while her hands smoothed your hair. Elizabeth sits behind you rubbing circles onto your back. Your cries broke both their hearts. You were a fairly happy girl, to see you in such pain and heartache was hard to watch.
Scarlett rocks you back and forth, trying to calm you down by whispering comforting words into your ear. She presses a motherly kiss onto your forehead once she sees you start to calm down. Elizabeth waits patiently beside you waiting for when you’re ready to talk. When your whimpers turned into hiccups, Scarlett pulls your face away from her neck to look at you. She frowns when she sees your tear stained cheeks.
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on or are you going to keep bottling it up to yourself?” She asks you softly, tucking strands of your hair behind your ears. Elizabeth chimes in from behind you, “You know, sometimes it helps to tell others what’s bothering you. You don’t have to keep it to yourself, (y/n), you could talk to us.” She gathers your hair together, splitting it into two parts as she began to fish tail braid your hair. 
You take a moment to compose yourself before eyeying the two women. You knew you could trust them. Scarlett was like your on-set mom and Lizzie was like one of your aunts. If you could tell anyone on set what was going on, it would be them.
“He broke up with me.” You confess, eyes trained on your lap. Lizzie’s fingers stop braiding your hair, “What?”
“Peyton, he broke up with me.” You whined, not wanting to say it again. You fiddle with your fingers while a tear falls to your lap.
“Oh honey.” Scarlett cooes pulling you back into her chest. You sniffle and wrap your arms around her torso. Silently crying into her shoulder.
“Did he give you a reason why?” Lizzie asks softly. You move away from Scarlett’s hold and lean against the couch with your knees to your chest. Lizzie wraps an arm around your shoulder for comfort.
You glanced at your phone that was on the coffee table, “H-he texted me earlier this morning. He said he couldn’t do the long distance thing anymore and that he has feelings for somebody else.”
Anger flashes in Scarlett’s eyes, “He broke up with you over a text message?” You nod in response.
“What a dick.” She mutters glaring at your phone. It’s quiet for a few minutes. Until you ask them, “Am I not worth trying for a long distance relationship?”
Lizzie shakes her head, “No, don’t you ever think that because you are.”
You sigh and throw your head back, “Then why did he break up with me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough?” Scarlett interrupts your questions by shushing you.
“There is not a damn thing wrong about you. Don’t you ever let a man, let alone a boy, make you question your worth.” Scarlett advises you a stern look on her face. “You are the most sweetest and loveliest girl I have ever met in my life. You’re kind, you care about the people around you—you even laugh at Anthony’s stupid jokes.”
Lizzie snorts beside you and squeezes your shoulder, “And his jokes are the worst.”
Scarlett continues, “You are a talented young woman already making it big in the movie industry and you did it all on your own. You are beautiful inside and out. You’re perfect, there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Then why did he leave me?”
“Because he’s an idiot that doesn’t know your worth.” Lizzie answers resting her head on your shoulder. “I know it hurts now but these things happen for a reason. He wasn’t meant for you and you weren’t meant for him. Maybe somewhere in the future you guys will meet and try again. Or maybe you’ll move on with someone new. That’s just how it is. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.”
Scarlett nods at Lizzie, “Take it from me, I’ve been married twice. When it seems like you found that special person, sometimes it’ll all come crashing down. And it’s not an easy thing to go through. It’s full of pain, heartache, self doubt and a bunch of other heart wrenching things. But in the end you come out a stronger version of yourself.”
You stare at Scarlett, “How did you do it?”
Scarlett softly smiles at you, “Well, I had lots of friends who supported me every step of the way. But most importantly, I valued myself. I did things that made me happy and took care of myself mentally and physically.”
You bite your lip in thought as you stare at the ground.
“Listen to me.” Scarlett urges you, “You’re young, (y/n). You’re going to meet so many more people in the future that’ll bring you so much happiness and love in your life. Don’t beat yourself up over one boy who decided to leave you because he wasn’t committed for a long distance relationship. You’re going to be okay.” She assures you, cradling your face. Your lips form into a tight smile while you nod in response.
“You have us and the rest of the people outside of this trailer to support you. We’ll always have your back, whatever it is, I promise you that. You’re not going to go through this by yourself.” Lizzie promises you, taking your hand into hers. You hum and rest your head on her shoulder. You pull on Scarlett’s arm to join you and Lizzie. She chuckles and hugs you from behind.
“Thank you guys.” You whisper, genuinely grateful that you had them in your life. Lizzie pecks your temple, “Anytime darling.”
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lowkeyorloki · a month ago
Text
Gentle
Your fellow chambermaids have often spoken about their experiences in the dark haired prince of Asgard’s sheets, but when you finally meet Loki in that way, it isn’t what you expected
fingering. 18+. reader is a virgin in this fic. enjoy!
Read the second part to this fic, ‘Harsh’ here.
~
It happens differently than you thought it would. 
It begins with a simple proposition; a brush of Loki’s fingertips on your hip in the long hallways of the palace. He catches your eye as well, his glinting with excitement. It makes your stomach jump in anticipation. 
The maids you’re walking with notice. Asta in particular seems the most interested. She is, after all, Prince Loki’s latest conquest. 
“How will he make me feel?” You ask her later in the kitchens. Your hands smell of meat as you scrub the pots and pans from tonight’s feast. Night is approaching, and you know you’re expected at Loki’s door soon. 
“Full,” Asta answers. “His fingers alone were more filling than any cock.” You flinch, the language she uses uncomfortable to you. The maids knew of your inexperience. You weren’t privy to conversations like this. 
“He leaned me over a table in the library,” Brenna says from across the kitchen. “The one by the staircase. I still get dizzy when I think about it.” She’s smiling at the memory. Smirking, more like. 
“Oh,” you answer. You wonder if Brenna was left with splinters. 
“You ought to go now,” Asta advises you. “You don’t have to know Loki intimately to remember he is lacking in patience.”
~
Loki’s room is dark and heavy. The feeling isn’t all in your head - there are three candles lit in addition to the glowing fire place. You’re shocked to see there isn’t a bead of sweat on Loki’s brow. 
He gives you a small smile as he presses you against the door, wrapping a lock of hair around his finger. Then he pulls away. 
“Here,” Loki walks over to the table by the bed and takes a goblet. He gestures for you to follow him. You obey, and he hands the cup to you. “Drink.”
“What-?” Loki’s gaze fall towards your stomach, and then travels back up your body to give you a knowing look. You feel your face burn. Of course. A potion to prevent motherhood. You tip your head back as your drink, draining the cup in its entirety. Loki watches you the whole time. A bead of liquid escapes the corner of your lips and slides down your neck. Without warning, Loki pulls you towards him and licks it. 
You gasp, dropping the goblet on the floor. Loki’s tongue is warm and wet as it travels down your neck. He scrapes his teeth over the muscle, and it makes you shake beneath him. Your hands have found Loki’s waist, and they clutch at it. Loki hums in turn. 
“What’s your name?” He asks, peppering kisses down your jawline. You tell him in a breathy voice. The prince smirks against your skin. “It suits you,” he murmurs. Loki guides you towards the bed, and you sit on the edge of it. He laughs, a charming noise, and shakes his head. “You’ll have to lay down, sweetheart,” he tells you. You swallow. That’s an awfully kind title from someone so scrutinized. 
You begin to lay back, your shoes falling from your feet, but Loki stops you once again. You begin to feel even more self conscious. You’re not good at this. You don’t know what you’re doing. 
“Take off your dress,” he commands softly. You tense. You knew this was coming - but you already feel exposed. And Loki will be the first to see you like this. 
He smiles at your uncertainty. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll go first.” 
Loki strips silently, efficiently. His beauty becomes more obvious with every garment he discards. His skin is flawless, which you don’t quite understand. You often hear Thor regaling any willing audience with tales of battles, and you’re more than certain Loki is present at them. But his skin has no scars, no marks. It’s pristine. 
You want to touch it. 
You know Loki is strong, which might be why his smallness catches you off guard. As he grows closer, you can see his muscles moving. They’re prominent, but not in the same way Thor’s are. Loki’s muscles are lithe, for movement and use. Thor’s are for decimation and show. 
You can’t help but reach out to run a hand over Loki’s milky chest. Your thumb catches his nipple, and the prince’s breath hitches. Your head shoots up, like you’ve done something wrong, but Loki says nothing. He puts his hand over yours, guiding it over his sternum and toned abdomen until it’s nestled in the coarse black curls of his groin. Your heartbeat quickens. 
Loki’s... cock is turning towards you. It doesn’t seem to be fully erect yet, but then you wouldn’t know. You marvel at it, the reddened tip and heavy balls. You swallow. 
“What do I... do to it?” You ask. Loki looks confused, just for a moment. 
“You kiss it,” he explains, pressing your hand against it. You jerk as his cock grows under your touch, but Loki’s grip keeps you with him. “Stroke it. Take it into your body, if you’ll allow me.” Loki’s brow pinches together slightly. “Darling, have you never been with a man?”
Your face burns. You want to exclaim that yes, of course you have, how dare he suggest otherwise, but Loki is the god of lies. He’ll spot yours in a heartbeat. 
“No,” you answer, looking away. This is humiliating. Even worse is the arousal growing between your legs, the wetness coating your thighs. You want this. 
“Woman?” You shake your head. No one. You’ve been with no one. “Alright.” Loki says. “There’s nothing the matter,” he tells you. Loki releases your hand, tilting your chin so you look at him. “So long as you want it, that is.”
“Yes,” your answer is immediate. Desperate, even. Loki smirks. 
“Then take off your dress,” he tells you. 
You sit up straight, reaching behind yourself to untie the lace of your bodice. Carefully, you peel the article of clothing over your head, leaving you bare aside from your soaked panties. 
Loki pulls you towards him. Your legs falls around his hips, his hardened self pressing against your clothed core. You cry out at the sensation - it feels electric. You like it. 
“Shh,” Loki shushes you, then places his mouth on the curve of your breast. You let out a small oh. Goosebumps form all over your body, and you reach up to thread your fingers through Loki’s hair. He bites down on your nipple unexpectedly, and you yelp, harshly pulling on his curls. Loki grunts, then pushes you flat on the bed.
“Careful, girl.” He says mischievously. “You don’t know what you’re getting into with that.” Excitement thrums through your body. Maybe you’ll know someday. 
Loki settles himself between your legs. You lift your hips, taking off your panties and tossing them aside. Loki sucks on the softness of your thigh in response.
“Good girl,” he praises you. You keen under the title. 
Loki looks at the juncture between your legs with an intensity. He reaches out, stroking your puffy lips to see how you’ll respond. You jump at the touch. 
“Relax,” he coaxes you. His fingers begin to slide over your slit, then circle your entrance. You whimper. “You’re fine. Your body wants this, sweet. Look.” He holds up his two fingers, shiny with your slick. You squirm. 
Without warning, Loki thrusts his index finger into you, and you let out a cry. You grip the sheets between your fingers, squeezing your eyes shut. The feeling is overwhelming. 
Loki says your name a few times, keeping his finger entirely still. You don’t move at all, or at least, you don’t think you do. Loki lays a heavy hand over your belly, moving it in soothing circles around your navel. 
“Tell me how it feels,” he says. A second finger begins prodding at your entrance. You clench. 
“I- I don’t know,” you manage. It’s new. 
“Does it hurt?” You can hear something new in Loki’s voice. Concern.
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“I...”
“I have to move it to make it feel better,” Loki tells you gently. You look at him nervously. 
“Okay.”
Loki places a small kiss on your hip, then slides another finger in. Your face contorts at it, but you will yourself to relax. Slowly, Loki’s fingers begin to move, obscene sounds filling the air. Loki was right - with each thrust of his fingers, the feeling becomes less foreign. You can feel Loki’s steady breath on your clit as well, and it all soon becomes more pleasure than pain. 
“How does it feel now?” You blink hazily. 
“Not - Not what I thought.”
“Not what you thought?” Loki asks amusedly. “You just told me you were untouched.” 
“The other maids,” you say, forgetting the possible insult of your words. Loki slows. 
“And what did they have to say?”
You freeze. You’ve offended him. Palace gossip has no place in bedsheets.
“Just that... your fingers made them full.” You stumble over your words. 
“And my fingers don’t make you feel that way?”
“No. Yes! I...” you try to straighten your thoughts. “That’s not the right word.”
“Then what is?”
“I'm not sure,” this is too new for you to describe. “They’re... long. Nimble. It’s like you already know me. I feel like you’re reaching inside my entire body, not just my... my...”
“Pussy?” Loki finishes for you. Your cheeks burn. 
“Yes.”
“Hmm,” you tilt your head, looking over Loki’s face. He’s pensive. “Sit up.” He commands suddenly. You do so with effort. Loki free hand snakes around you, resting on the small of your back to keep you steady. “Look at that, sweet.” 
Your eyes drop towards your wet sex. You whimper at the sight. You can’t even see Loki’s fingers. They’re buried to the knuckle, disappearing deep inside you. His thumb flicks over your clitoris, and you let out a breath.
“Do you want that to be my cock?” He asks you. You nod, reaching forward to clutch his shoulders. “It’s going to hurt more than my fingers. You’re so tight, sweet, and I might be too big for you.”
“Try,” you rasp, looking your prince in the eye. “We can try.”
Loki brushes a few hairs from your face, and then leans forward to press his lips against yours. His tongue is wet and heavy, massaging your own. You moan. 
“Well then,” he says, drawing his fingers out. They’re wet, and just barely tinged with blood. Loki brings them to his mouth, licking them clean. “Lay back.”
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vanderlustwords · 26 days ago
hi lovely! your writing is amazing. too good!!! thank you for sharing it. i was wondering if you could do a bucky fic where he starts getting more comfortable doing pda with his girl in front of the team, and they notice how soft and sappy he is now he’s dating her, and inevitably (but lovingly) tease him for it. only do this if it inspires u though! hope you’re staying safe and healthy x
These Hands Are Meant to Hold
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Please do not repost/translate anywhere. Reblogs & Comments are much welcomed ♥
Note: I was super inspired to be fluffy as fuck. This is just a wholesome drabble. Thank you so much for sending this in, lovely! Making a comeback and so, a temporary taglist is open for the next 5 fics. Comment to be added to a bucky, steve, or both taglist!
Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff. Also unbeta'd.
Count: 1.3k
⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷
PDA.
Otherwise known as Public Displays of Affection (1): Acts of intimacy in front of others.
What is considered to be acceptable varies from culture to culture.
Your friends seem to like engaging in such activities, often cuddling or quick kisses.
But Bucky is not an openly affectionate person.
In public, even handholding for no reason doesn't ever occur. In private, he's overly gentle, like he's afraid he might accidentally break you.
Although it's been a couple of months since you've been dating, you can say nothing physically has quite changed between the two of you.
But...those things don't bother you.
Because in private, Bucky can't keep his hands off you. At first, he was cautious, making sure to only touch you with his regular arm. He tried to say that he liked touching you with his regular arm because he could feel you on the pads of his finger.
You didn't care much for that, though. You always made sure to give his metal arm equal amounts of attention. Just as Bucky liked stroking your arms, playing with strands of your hair, and kissing your neck—you'd be holding his regular hand while your other hand trails up his metal one.
Telling him you liked it when his metal arm held you at night because it kept you cool helped.
Bucky just thinks you're so...strange but so lovely. How could you look at him with such adoration in your eyes? He hopes you can see the same look in his eyes when he stares at you.
It was slow at first, but Bucky's whole body is starting to itch for the need to touch you in any kind of way in public too. It started one day when he watched Steve so openly hug you and pinched your cheeks, and you swatting his hands away with a frown before grinning.
And Bucky realized that he was jealous. Not of the prospect or suspicion of Steve—no, Bucky knows the two of you would never do that to him. But he was jealous of Steve in the way the other man could so easily be affectionate with you.
Bucky spent the rest of his day wondering why he was so...afraid of touching you in public. After that, it started small. Just the caress upon your hand with his picky, metal one or not. You had brushed it off as the two of you standing too close.
Then, it was interlacing his pinky with yours, hiding it behind his back as he sandwiched himself against you. You looked at him curiously, a light blush on your cheeks, but you smiled, and Bucky felt like he was doing something amazing—something right for once.
There had always been a certain kind of distance in public, but it seemed Bucky was intent on closing it.
"Hi, doll," Bucky greets you with a chaste kiss to your cheek.
"Hi," you replied shyly with a bright smile.
"Alright, get a room you two!" Clint jokingly moans while rolling his eyes.
Natasha gasps scandalously while she was holding Nathaniel. Steve lifted his hand to cover Nathaniel's eyes.
"Bucky!" Steve mock scolds. "So inappropriate, think of the children!"
Bucky rolls his eyes while he slings his arm around you, pulling you close to slot his lips against yours in rebellion.
"Oh, god, he's out of control," Natasha smirks. "Steve, do something!"
"Sweetheart, think about your propriety!" Steve looks at you, and you burst out laughing.
Bucky throws a crumpled piece of paper at Steve. "Stop calling my girlfriend sweetheart," he drawls.
Steve sighs. "You've turned into a possessive sap. Long gone are the days of Mr. Heartbreaker and now you're doll dizzy."
Bucky tuts while he waggles his fingers. "Incorrect. I am doll dizzy about one girl."
Your face is set aflame as you listened to Bucky speak about you. Ignoring the teasing, you rest your head against Bucky's shoulder, warming because he holds you a little tighter.
When the day is over, and you lie next to Bucky, his metal arm over you, keeping you cool, you turn to face him. He's still awake, sleepily, but awake.
"Hi," he husks.
"Hi," you smile.
"What's on your mind, doll?" Bucky's eyes are closed, but his metal arm is stroking light lines on your bare back, drifting to your spine.
You shiver as you shift closer to him.
"Just thinking how...different you are," you tell him.
Bucky's eyes flutter open as he zeroes in on you. "Different?" He asks.
Your hand moves across the small distance between you two as it lands on his neck. You can feel his pulse in his neck, and you like how steady it is. For all Bucky's insecurities and sadness, his pulse is always steady.
"Well," you start to say, throat raspy as you're suddenly overcome with how in love you are with Bucky. "Just—I never thought you'd be the type of person to do PDA. Not that I mind either way," you say quickly. "I never want to make you uncomfortable."
Bucky just smiles as he rests his hand on the small of your back and pulls you closer to him—until he can feel your body line up perfectly against his. He begins to entangle your legs together with his, and there's no escape for you.
You bite your tongue because Bucky smiling. Him grinning so genuinely makes your heart thud painfully in your chest. He deserves so much more of those smiles.
"I admit it wasn't something I was...comfortable with at first," Bucky concedes while you look up at him. "I just...this arm," Bucky emphasizes by moving his metal hand against your back. "It's just a visual reminder of what I'd done—what I'd become. I'm not a regular soldier from the 40s anymore where my only concerns were my job and making sure Steve didn't get into any scraps he couldn't handle."
You listen quietly because Bucky seems to be just talking, not really looking for you to reassure him that you love him and his metal arm doesn't define him.
"And in public, it feels like everyone is watching me. Tony is still glaring at me, glaring at my arm and I don't blame him. Steve sometimes stares because he feels guilty, and Natasha pointedly looks at my face—which is nice of her," Bucky licked his lips. His eyes were open, staring pointedly over your head as he held you. Then, he looked down, eyes half-lidden as he gazed at you.
"So, I...felt bad if I touched you in public, where everyone could see. It was like a giant neon board would appear that said, 'Look! The Winter Soldier is touching and kissing someone! Will he crush her?'" Bucky grimaced, and you frowned, moving your fingers to touch the corner of his lips. Bucky smiles as he moves his head to kiss your fingers.
"Bucky..." you say softly, tightening your legs around his.
Bucky just kisses your forehead to soothe you before he continued on.
"But then I just kept seeing everyone with you. Everyone is so open with you. I'm pretty sure many people actually think Natasha is your lesbian lover," Bucky's smile causes you to laugh. "I mean I wanted to touch you, be near you in any way always, but then after, I couldn't stop thinking about how I wanted to be the one who holds your hand, touches you, and kisses your cheek in public. If only I wasn't so hesitant. I know it probably took a long time to get where we are, but I love you for being so patient."
You wonder if it's possible to burst from happiness. You wonder how it's possible for the colony of butterflies to have lived in your stomach this long.
Bucky lifts his metal hand, opening and closing it, almost marvelling at how he can look at it so easily now.
You grab his hand, feeling the cool metal against your fingertips.
"These hands are meant to hold, Bucky," you smile as you lace your fingers together.
Bucky quirks his brow with a smirk before he rolls over you, nose to nose.
"Incorrect," he licks his lips, the tip of his tongue just barely grazing your lips. "These hands are meant to hold you."
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bisexual-chupacabra · a month ago
Text
Steve: WHY IS THE BUILDING ON FIRE?
Tony: a dragon sneezed.
Nat: I tried to light a cigar with a flame thrower.
Y/N: Dropped my latest mix tape.
Steve: Peter, please tell me what happened.
Peter: Um.
[flashback to Tony and Nat arguing with Y/N that it was impossible to light a fire extinguisher on fire]
Peter: I don’t remember.
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