#avocado stone carving | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

Text

Daily Log 7

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)

Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.

Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT

Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..

Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )

Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V

Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)

Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..

Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..

#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public #declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now #just want to do worldbuilding I want to work on the language I want to do these sorts of things #furstrating to just walk around in a haze all day unable to focus on mental tasks like that #One of the most important things in my entire life actually is being able to think about little elves and magic and etc.#annoying to have multiple days in a row where I make very little progress on that aside from thinking of a few little story #ideas or something here and there. I should have had the text translated already and finished the worldbuilding slideshow #already and made a game set in my world already and so on and so forth.. grr #There's another upcoming heatwave again and summer is soon so I think it will only get worsw #the more often I feel warm and sick or cant sleep due to the temperature etc.#But I am trying to catch up somehow.. a little.. lol #I think it's very common to feel like you're not making enough progress in life on the things that matter the most to you #especially during capitalism and with low income and mental/physical health issues and during a still ongoing pandemic #threat and etc. etc. etc. like.. Logically I get it and I know it's not something to be too worked up over because that's just how #probably half of the population feels at all times especially people who are in similar situations to me #but still.. my brain is like Yes i know the facts of the situation No i do not care #if someone else came to me like 'ough Im feeling so unproductive for xyz reason' I'd reassure them and talk about how #it's situational and a lot of people feel that way and it's the system we live in and blah blah #but when it's ME it's like.. No.. This Situation Is Different Of Course. Surely It Is Much More Terrible #If You Haven't Finished Your Entire ToDo List By The End Of The Week Then The World Will Explode #ANYWAY..#daily log

2 notes · View notes

thekitchnpro · 2 years

Text

Every Kitchen Needs These Sharpest Kitchen Knives

New Post has been published on https://thekitchnpro.com/every-kitchen-needs-these-sharpest-kitchen-knives/

Every Kitchen Needs These Sharpest Kitchen Knives

Let’s face it — everyone needs kitchen knives, but it can be difficult to find the right one to fit your specific needs. Whether you need an all-purpose chef knife or a carving knife, there are plenty of excellent kitchen knives to choose from on the market today. Here are four kitchen knives that should be in every kitchen, regardless of your cooking level or skill set.

Chef’s Knife

Every kitchen needs a chef’s knife. It’s an essential tool for just about every meal, and no home cook should be without one. The chef’s knife can accomplish just about any basic task you’d encounter in typical meal preparation, from slicing to dicing to chopping, and it will easily become your go-to kitchen utensil for almost any meal you make at home. Whether you’re a novice or an experienced home cook, it’s important to know which tools make up your staples kit, and a well-sharpened chef’s knife should certainly be among them.

Bread Knife

A bread knife is a kitchen knife with a serrated blade that’s great for slicing bread. It may be called a serrated bread knife, or just a serrated knife, but it has nothing to do with sawing through wood. If you have an electric loaf maker, chances are your bread will come out perfectly sliced. But if you don’t have one, a good bread knife is a worthy investment—and luckily there are some very inexpensive options out there. Look for models made of stainless steel and never buy one that looks like plastic! Those knives will break easily and not last long.

Honing Knife

To hone a knife, you must first purchase a whetstone. Whetstones come in coarse and fine grits; choose which to use based on how dull your blade is. To keep knives honed, keep both types of stones nearby and run them along your blade after each use. The more you home with these sharpening stones, the easier it will be to maintain an edge for longer periods of time. So if you want fewer visits to your local knife shop or sharper kitchen cutlery every time you cook something, invest in honing stones.

Paring Knife

For a light, an easy workhorse in your kitchen, look no further than a paring knife. This small knife is good for tasks that require a bit of precision—such as coring an apple or halving an avocado—and can also be used to peel fruits and vegetables. A paring knife works well in tandem with larger knives when you need to slice ingredients thinly or finely. It’s also convenient for tasks like opening packaging or slicing herbs straight from your garden. If you’re still using one of those box sets from college, it’s time to invest in a new paring knife; look for something that has a sturdy blade and comfortable handle that fits into your hand properly without feeling flimsy or difficult to maneuver.

Boning Knife

A boning knife (also known as a fillet knife) is used to remove meat from fish or other meats. The narrow, flexible blade allows it to slide along bones without catching and cutting through skin or gristle. Boning knives come in many sizes, ranging from 3–10 inches, depending on what you’re going to be cutting. If you’re new to butchery, a shorter blade of 5–6 inches will be easier to use. But if you intend on doing more work on larger carcasses, consider a longer blade of 8–10 inches. Additionally, you can opt for a Y-shaped blade that makes it easy to reach into cavities and separate joints with precision.

Pros and Cons The Sharpest Kitchen Knives

There are a lot of things that you can do to cut your food preparation time. You might put a knife through its paces chopping up ingredients, filleting fish, slicing meat, or cutting open a package. However, a dull knife means your cutting time is often slow and full of effort. To prevent effort you should make sure to sharpen your knives regularly. A sharp blade is more efficient and safer than one that’s blunt or even very dull. Unfortunately, not all knives are created equal and some may require more maintenance than others because of how they’re made—but there are some types of knives that will be easier on your hands due to their shape and design. Plus, understanding their pros and cons will help you choose which knives are right for you depending on what type of cooking tasks you prefer.

#best kitchen knives #kitchen knives #sharpest kitchen knives #top kitchen knives

0 notes

erindrewpotter · 4 years

Text

This is an avocado stone carving, I used to make these at art shows and farmers markets when things were slow. Lots of people wanted to know what I was doing and know more about the process, and occasionally I sold a carving. But they are really just a labor of love. Hopefully I’ll be able to shows again this fall and make more of these little guys. 🌱

#handmade #cottagcore #avocado stone carving #grandmacore #avocado seed #forestcore #forestfolk #houseplant #magiccore #green witch #whittling #make things #crafty #carving #potted plants

63 notes · View notes

aliceinknittingland · 5 years

Text

My clever son has been carving mushrooms out of avocado stones.

So I've helped him turn them into jewellery.

Apparently I was channelling my inner Davina this morning, but this set? It's mine 😘

#Avocado carving #Carving #Avocado stone #mushrooms #handcraftedjewelry

11 notes · View notes

earth-2-sara · 5 years

Photo

Beautiful hand carved avocado pit with labradorite stone. Amazing work, check out her work on Instagram @wild.avo 💛💛

#art #hand carved #labradorite #stone #crystal #necklace #handmade #brazil #avocado

7 notes · View notes

pigeoncoffee · 4 years

Text

ultimate single word island names list

as you all know i loved single word town names on new leaf.. whilst ive been brainstorming names for my new horizons island i’ve compiled the ultimate single word island names list!

enjoy!

Ocean/water words: • Brook • Bay • Boat • Canal • Coral • Cove • Creek • Current • Deep • Dock • Drench • Driftwood • Drip • Drain • Gulf • Kelp • Lake • Marine • Pond • Reservoir • River • Rinse • Rill • Rockpool • Sail • Sailboat • Scuba • Spring • Snorkel • Stream • Sea • Seaweed • Seabed • Surf • Swamp • Tarn • Tide • Tidepool • Water • Yacht

Summer/Beach words: • Coast • Conch • Dock • Dune • Harbour • Palmtree • Pier • Summer • Sand • Sandcastle • Shell • Seaside • Shore • Sunburn • Sunscreen • Wharf • Vacation • Voyage

Fish/Aquatic animal words: • Barnacle • Clam • Carp • Crab • Eel • Fin • Flounder • Herring • Limpet • Lobster • Mackerel • Otter • Oyster • Plankton • Salmon • Scallop • Shark • Shrimp • Starfish • Stingray • Squid • Sunfish • Tadpole • Trout

Animal/habitat words: • Antler • Ant • Anthill • Burrow • Bee • Beehive • Bumble • Barn • Bat • Bug • Cobweb • Den • Fleece • Fur • Gull • Hive • Hornet • Honeybee • Ladybug • Ladybird • Nest • Paddock • Raven • Roost • Rook • Seagull • Snail • Toad • Web

Plant/flowers words: • Aloe • Bud • Bamboo • Bloom • Clover • Cosmos • Daffodil • Fern • Heather • Lily • Lilypad • Leaf • Lotus • Orchid • Orchard • Palm • Petal • Primrose • Rose • Stem • Seed • Sprout • Tulip • Wilt • Wilted

Forest words: • Acorn • Birch • Branch • Bramble • Bark • Chestnut • Elm • Elder • Fir • Grove • Juniper • Maple • Oak • Sycamore • Stump • Sap • Sapling • Spruce • Tree • Twig • Thicket • Wood • Yew

Other outdoor words: • Acre • Bury • Barren • Cavern • Cave • Cliff • Coal • Dale • Dell • Earth • Field • Fossil • Garden • Hill • Henge • Hedge • Isle • Island • Lawn • Leaves • Mountain • Meadow • Marsh • Moor • Moss • Nature • Peak • Pebble • Rock • Root • Stone • Shire • Thorn • Uproot • Vale • Valley • Vineyard

Food words: • Avocado • Berry • Butter • Chai • Cider • Cake • Coffee • Coconut • Currant • Egg • Eggshell • Eggnog • Fig • Fudge • Honey • Honeycomb • Icecream • Jam • Jelly • Lemon • Mushroom • Muffin • Mocha • Nut • Pancake • Pear • Pea • Pie • Peanut • Pickle • Popsicle • Radish • Rice • Raisin • Rum • Sesame • Sushi • Syrup • Toast • Walnut

Herb/spices names: • Basil • Chive • Cinnamon • Clove • Dill • Fennel • Herb • Mustard • Nutmeg • Parsley • Saffron • Sage • Spice • thyme

Calm words: • Airy • Away • Awe • Aura • Calm • Drowsy • Dream • Hope • Haven • Haze • Lazy • Lull • Nurture • Quiet • Relax • Rest • Safe • Soft • Serene • Slumber • Silent • Yawn

Cosy Words: • Blanket • Boots • Cotton • Cosy • Cinder • Flannel • Glove • Knit • Knitted • Mitten • Quilt • Raincoat • Sweater • Slipper • Teapot • Teacup • Warmth • Weave • Woven • Yarn

Cute words: • Adore • Blush • Bonny • Cupid • Cuddle • Dainty • Delicate • Ethereal • Fluff • Giggle • Glitter • Lovely • Precious • Sweet • Wonder

City/Town/Building words: • Cabin • Camp • Campsite • Cottage • Home • House • Igloo • Inn • Loft • Mill • Market • Park • Road • Shelter • Street • Tunnel • Tavern • Village • Ville

Weather/time of day words: • Blizzard • Dusk • Dawn • Draft • Drizzle • Downpour • Fog • Flood • Flurry • Gust • Hail • Humid • Mist • Misty • Midnight • Noon • Night • Overcast • Rain • Rainfall • Raindrop • Rainbow • Rise • Storm • Soleil • Sunset • Sun • Season • Sleet • Typhoon • Thunder • Weather • Wind

Seasonal words: Spring/Easter: • April • Crisp • Dew • Dewdrop • Easter • Farm • Farmyard • Floral • Florist • Flourish • Grow • Growth • Hatch • June • Plantpot

Autumn/Halloween: • Afraid • Bale • Bonfire • Cackle • Casket • Creep • Coffin • Costume • Carve • Cemetery • Chilling • Disguise • Eerie • Fall • Fright • Frighten • Firework • Grave • Ghoul • Ghost • Grim • Gore • Hay • Harvest • Howl • Haunt • Haunted • Halloween • Lantern • Morbid • November • Phantom • Rake • Strange • Scream • Scare • Spook • Tomb • Trick • Wicked • Witch • Warlock • Zombie

Winter/Christmas: • Arctic • Chill • Carol • Elf • Festive • Frost • Frostbite • Firewood • Gift • Garland • Holly • Holiday • Ice • Iced • Icy • Icicle • Jingle • Jolly • Merry • Noel • Nativity • Ornament • Present • Reindeer • Rudolph • Scrooge • Sleigh • Snow • Skate • Snowman • Snowball • Stocking • Tinsel • Winter • Wreath • Yule • Yulelog

Mystical words: • Amulet • Cauldron • Chalice • Conjure • Coven • Charm • Cherub • Enchant • Fairy • Fairies • Gargoyle • Goblet • Goblin • Golem • Gnome • Hidden • Hex • Imp • Myth • Nymph • Potion • Spirit • Sprite • Spell • Secret • Shadow • Siren • Wand • Wander

Gem stone words: • Amethyst • Amber • Jasper • Jade • Onyx • Opal • Sapphire • Topaz • Quartz

Colour words: • Bronze • Blush • Fuchsia • Hazel • Ivory • Linen • Ochre • Pale • Peach • Pewter • Sepia • Seafoam • Tawny

Space words: • Aurora • Asteroid • Cosmic • Crescent • Eclipse • Gravity • Luna • Mercury • Meteor • Moon • Nebula • Orbit • Planet • Solar • Star • Venus • Zodiac

Direction words: • Around • Across • Above • East • Far • North • Over • South • Under • West

Other words: • Ash • Ablaze • Beam • Backpack • Dust • Ever • Edge • End • Echo • Cranny • Comb • Frail • Gutter • Hole • Lune • Lush • Letter • Nimble • Nook • Old • Plain • Paper • Rinse • Range • Ridge • Rust • Rusted • Rot • Rotted • Silk • Set • Settle • Sponge • Swelter • Swell • Smog • Urn • Umbrella • Vain • Vile • View • Way • World

#animal crossing #animal crossing new horizons #acnh #animal crossing new leaf #acnl #ac #island name #island names #town names #town name #nintendo #switch #helpful

1K notes · View notes

writeblrfantasy · 3 years

Text

excerpt from immortals: FCB

super excited to post the first excerpt from immortals! this is a transition scene of sorts smack in the middle of the book, but i liked the vibes

Kieran pats down all her clothes and the sleeves she sewed in between the clothes and her skin to conceal and protect their most important things. She scowls when nothing but century out of date papers and permits and other various things come up, malleable and wrinkled. “Do you still have the damn card? I can never keep track of all these things.”

“I don’t know how,” Annaleigh mutters, already going through her own clothes, similarly built, “when it feels different than all the others.” She reaches down the neck of her shirt and pries it free from a sleeve next to her ribs. The sleeves are built so well that one couldn’t tell it was there from the outside, despite its stiffness and size compared to the other papers.

Kieran takes it from her and pulls open the heavy stone door of Frostenvale Central Bank, magically carved with the imprint of chains.

Just from a quick glance, she can tell how much FCB has changed. The first thing that jumps out at her is the slight dip in lighting. Not even in a way that dims them purposefully to create an aura of immersion, a more common feature on Frostenvale than the other Islas—this is just dark.

Where are the chandeliers, the soft piano music? Kieran misses making comments about how the bank more resembled an Eldarmar restaurant. This is just a large lobby of stone and dark corners. Even the red carpet under her feet is missing.

“Damn, this place hasn’t aged well,” Annaleigh says.

The one thing that remains unchanged is the glass at the top of the tall stone bench. Kieran approaches one of the red jacketed bankers in one of the slots.

Kieran taps her card on the counter, catching their eye from whatever papers they were sorting. “Maignes and Sternguard vault, please, eight-oh-seven-five-two. It’s in the east wing.”

“Um…” The banker doesn’t open their drawer of records or call for one of their associates for a trip to their vault of information. “I’m sorry.”

“Out of date or stolen?”

Their eyebrow furrows. “What?”

“What’s wrong? No one’s ever given me that look before, and I’ve been using this bank my whole life.”

The banker swallows uneasily. “Uh. I thought you would’ve heard, then, that east wing collapsed in an explosion many decades ago following a robbery. The robbers wanted to eliminate all evidence and money they couldn’t carry, so they set off explosives and burned everything down.”

Kieran throws her head back and sighs. They haven’t come to Frostenvale in at least a century. It’d make sense they haven’t heard such news.

“So all of it’s lost?” she asks, filled with hope despite the fact that she knows.

They cast their eyes down. “I’m sorry.”

Annaleigh blows out an exasperated breath. “You have got to be kidding me.”

The banker grimaces at their ire, probably wondering if they’re going to chew them out. Kieran, for all her bitterness, knows not to take out her displeasure on a low paid worker several decades too young to have dealt with this personally.

“Thanks,” Kieran mutters, picking up her card and turning away. Annaleigh sighs again. This is annoying, a huge setback, sure, but it’s not the worst they’ve faced. Money is only really needed when they need to travel, the one thing they cannot steal or cheat or seduce their way through. Inter-Isla or inter-realm travel is the one thing Annaleigh’s strength and Kieran’s magic and will cannot get them through. Unfortunately, traveling is all they’re doing right now.

“Elements?” Kieran asks under her breath as they stroll out of the bank together.

“Yeah.” Annaleigh shakes her head. “Never thought I’d say that again.”

immortals taglist (lmk to be added/removed) @magic-is-something-we-create @dumble-daddy @metanoiamorii @chishiio @the-writing-avocado @iespeciallyme @random-writing-run-ons @drippingmoon @myhusbandsasemni @chazzawrites @47crayons

look forward to aet tomorrow!!

#excerpt from my wip #writeblr #writing #my writing #my wip #fantasy #fantasy wip #fantasy writeblr #my fiction #fiction #original fiction #lila's wips: immortals #bean's excerpts #lila's excerpts

17 notes · View notes

blueiskewl · 3 years

Photo

The $38M Spanish Style Malibu Estate

A lush 180-acre wine estate tucked into the hills above Malibu has listed for $38 million. The property of George Rosenthal, an 89-year-old real-estate mogul whose holdings include the Sunset Marquis hotel, the hacienda-style home is a verdant oasis of lawns, fountains and vineyards amid the arid Santa Monica Mountains.

Rosenthal built the home, a 10-minute drive inland from Malibu, in the 1970s as a vacation resort. It retains the feeling of refuge. Passing through the entrance gate along the private drive, you are surrounded first by oak trees, then by rows of vines before reaching the Spanish-style main residential compound, flanked by palm trees and courtyards. Inside the pink walls are hand-carved wooden doors, ornate tiles and high ceilings topped by skylights.

With eight bedrooms and 12,000 square feet of living space, the compound unfolds over several distinct areas. In the main residence, living rooms and bedrooms have large stone fireplaces and French doors open to patios with an outdoor kitchen and covered dining areas. A two-bedroom wing contains a gym, screening room and sunroom, as well as a kitchen with a butler’s pantry and a pizza oven. Surrounding the inner courtyard are a separate one-bedroom cottage and a two-bedroom guest house, which has its own swimming pool and views of the encircling hills.

From the main building, arched windows and beveled glass doors open to a pool that cascades into another lap pool by an outdoor dining area with a fireplace and a large patio for outdoor entertaining. Paths wind through the estate, past a pond, woods, gardens and a private gate onto the Backbone hiking trail.

The estate contains approximately 600 avocado trees, which could be farmed and sold as produce or made into enough guacamole to fill the property’s three swimming pools. A picture-perfect stable has been converted into a tasting room and banquet space, 2,545 square feet in size, and the property contains extensive wine storage facilities. The wine itself is made from grapes grown on the estate. Rosenthal also established Malibu’s first vineyard, in 1987, down the road in Newton Canyon. The man himself is ready to move on, having first put the house on the market in 2012. “We have enjoyed for decades the property as an oasis of tranquility to share with friends,” he said. “As I am steps away from my 90th birthday, it is time to provide another owner the opportunity to experience the property that has been so meaningful in our lives.”

Sandro Dazzan of the Agency and Jade Mills and Joyce Rey of Coldwell Banker Realty, Beverly Hills, share the listing.

By Lucy Alexander.

#The $38M Spanish Style Malibu Estate #luxury #luxury real estate #luxury property #luxury lifestyle #luxury living #billionaire lifestyle #rich #$$$#$$$money$$$

8 notes · View notes

gideongrace · 4 years

Note

11, 48, 51 for the ace prompts please and thank you! ☺️

11. "Fuck the avocadoes! We're leaving!"

48. "But see that's kind of the problem: I love you. Like crazy, stupid love you."

51. "What do you mean, they were flirting with me?"

I got 48 and 51 as a matched set twice (once from an anon and once from bisexual-cupcake), so I'm going to do them as the same scene in two different povs, one from Billy, one from Steve.

"Fuck the avocadoes! We're leaving!"

Billy looks up from the avocadoes he's currently hunting through - they're all as hard as rocks and normally he'd just say fuck it and buy them anyway, leave them in a cupboard for a few days to ripen but he needs to make guacamole and get to a party in a little less than an hour, half an hour now, probably, so there isn't exactly time for that.

"Did you hear me?" Steve yelps loudly, all frustrated. "I said fuck the avocadoes! Let's go!"

Billy bites down on his bottom lip but he bursts out laughing anyway.

"What?" he asks, smiling wide at his big, dumb idiot.

He can't help it. Steve's adorable. He's got ugly, black sweatpants on, an old navy blue t-shirt with this stretched out neck that's just exposing some of his shoulder and his hair's all flat on one side because his left arm still doesn't quite work right since he got shot a week ago and he refuses to let anybody help him with his hair. Or with his clothes. Or with his anything, really, so Billy, Dustin and Heather as well as Steve's non-cop friends Nancy and Jonathan have all been taking turns being with him, helping him out with as much as they can, whether he wants them to or not.

He won't let anybody touch his hair, though. No matter how many times anybody offers, not even Billy.

Instead he just sulks and moans and complains about it endlessly, flopping onto the couch and complaining like this is all just such an inconvenience to him.

If it were anybody else, it'd be annoying. But with Steve it's somehow endearing. So of course the words, "I love you, you big, dumb idiot," almost come flying out of Billy's mouth, like he can practically taste them, can feel them pressing up against his teeth and fighting to claw their way out but Billy shakes his head and holds them back.

Now is not the time.

"I just," Steve goes to cross his arms across his chest, thinks better of it halfway through and winds up with his good arm slung across his chest awkwardly and his bad one still hanging limply at his side. "I just want to go. Now."

With a closer look, Billy notices the way the garish, bright lighting of the little neighborhood grocery store they're in is bringing out the bags under Steve's eyes and the paleness of his skin and it sends Billy's stomach lurching sideways, has him thinking about things he doesn't want to think about. Things like Steve in that hospital bed and how it could have gone so, so much worse, so, so easily.

So he puts the avocado in his hand down on the pile and takes Steve's hand in his. "Okay," he says. "We'll go."

He lifts up his other arm - the one with the bulky black plastic grocery basket balanced in the crook of his elbow and he shakes it slightly. "Just gotta pay for this first."

Steve's face screws up unpleasantly, his nose crinkling and scrunching. "Okay," he says, not looking in the least like he agrees with what he himself just said. "Fine."

Billy squeezes his hand once then twice before dropping it and turning around. They walk to the front of the store and put their things on the little black conveyor belt thing to be scanned, then they fight over who gets to pay and Steve loses.

Partly he loses because his argument of, "Come on, I'm not doing anything else right now," pales in comparison to Billy's, "Because you got shot last week!" and partly because after Billy says that the cashier with the dyed cherry red hair and blood red, lacquer-bright lips ever so slightly angles the debit machine towards Billy and looks Steve over, eyes wide and suddenly very interested.

And Steve, of course, just stares right back with his big, brown Bambi eyes, clueless and not getting it, not at all.

So as soon as he's done paying, Billy grunts, grabs his thankfully already bagged groceries, loops his arm through Steve's and drags him out towards the Camaro, suddenly feeling a very strong need to kiss him, to claim him right in front of this stupid, little store, right out in the open where that cashier can turn around from their spot at the register and watch him doing it because Steve is his and everyone needs to know about it.

They just barely reach the car before Steve drops Billy's arm and starts to laugh. "Now what's got you so bothered?"

Billy jerks the car door open and carelessly, gracelessly chucks his bag of groceries into the back seat then throws himself into the driver's seat with just about as much finesse, which is to say none at all.

Steve gets in the passenger side much more carefully, almost gingerly and gives him a look that says even if he didn't get what that cashier was doing, he knows what Billy is doing.

"Okay, now what's bothering you?" he says, each word enunciated like it's being bitten off into its own sentence.

Billy looks away.

"That cashier was flirting with you," he says. He can feel his face heating up with the words, with the shame of it. He doesn't like being jealous, but he still can't help feeling it anyway.

Steve laughs again. "What? What do you mean they were flirting with me?" He sounds completely and fully confused, just like he always does because Steve literally never gets it when anyone is flirting with him.

He never notices when he's doing it, either. Just does it, easy as anything; people think that Billy is a shameless flirt, and he is, he absolutely is but Steve is worse, just turning on the charm full blast at random like he does with no cause for it or sense to it.

"They were," Billy says, insistent.

He spins around in his seat, shoulders twisting, body turned completely towards Steve, completely open, absolutely all of him wanting to spill out the words, "I love you," and, "It's why I'm so jealous," all over him, like a big, old bucket of paint, just douse him with it, mark him with it and be done. But the words stay carefully locked behind and between his teeth, stay there itching and scratching like miniature razor blades and cutting just as much.

Steve shrugs.

"If you say so," he says, as disbelieving as ever and that… oh, that has the razor blades digging in deeper, has them carving up Billy's gums and his tongue and his cheeks, has them replicating, duplicating, multiplying, multiplying, multiplying until the words, I love you, I love you, I love you, are filling up all the space in his mouth, all the little cracks and crevices in Billy's fractured, war-torn soul, until they're cutting him to pieces, splintering him into ribbons, until -

"Billy?"

Steve looks concerned, has those big, brown eyes trained on Billy's face in that way he just knows Billy is powerless against, that has Billy swallowing all the blood in his mouth.

"I, well, you," Billy stammers.

He wasn't meant to love. Wasn't built for it, doesn't know how. He hadn't even meant to, hadn't meant to love Steve, it had just sort of happened on accident, like one day he was just sorta there, then one day Billy had just sort of loved him and it's irrevocable now, irreversible, he's incomplete without it where before he'd been totally fine, totally fine and happy on his own, thank you very much and now Steve with his big, stupid eyes and his big, stupid heart and…

Billy had almost lost him.

Billy rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans and looks down.

"You, you just…" He can't get it out. He doesn't know how, but the razor blades won't go down, won't go away, no matter how many times he tries to swallow them down, they just won't go away. He can't go back, can't stand back, can't unknow what he knows now is unequivocally the truth. He loves Steve. Like loves him loves him.

"Hey, hey," Steve says, all warm, all soft, all melty chocolate chip gooey. He runs a delicate hand under Billy's jaw and drags it up, makes Billy look him in the eye. "Whatever the problem is, we can deal with it together. Right?"

That softness, the softness Steve is always saving up and using on him, just on him, it shatters him, has him choking out: "But see that's kind of the problem: I love you. Like crazy, stupid love you."

Steve's whole head twitches on instinct, either like he wasn't expecting to hear that or… Billy doesn't want to think about 'or'.

Either way, Steve says, "And why is that a problem?" as his hand trails from Billy's jaw down the side of his neck to grip at his shoulder. "Because I love you, too."

For a moment, Billy sits with that, swallows it, lets the words and the feelings sink deep and fill him up whole, lets them strip away the razor blades and heal the cuts, soak up the blood they've left behind. Lets them until they go sour, bursting and bristling and bitter. So, so bitter.

"You really shouldn't," Billy says.

He looks away again, looks back towards the store and sees the cashier from earlier staring at them, makes eye contact and doesn't look away.

"Why not?"

Steve's hand sits perfectly still on Billy's shoulder and Billy knows him well enough to know how much effort that stillness is costing him, knows how badly Steve wants to squeeze him, wants to force him to turn and look and face him. But he doesn't. Because like always, he knows just what Billy needs. Knows Billy needs to be given time to come to it himself.

"Because you shouldn't," Billy says, still looking at the cashier, still daring them to look away. They don't. The words, because I'm broken go unsaid, but Billy knows Steve hears them just the same.

Steve sighs and this time his fingers grip tight to Billy's shoulder, digging in deep.

"No, you're not broken, don't even try and start with that," Steve says, voice suddenly shifting all the way from gooey to gravel to stone in a split second.

Billy chuckles but it's mirthless, devoid and hollow and cracking and wretched. "This isn't an ace thing, Steve," he says.

"And who said it was?" Steve's fingers dig so deep it's like they're trying to find bone.

"I know what this is about -" His voice pitches into inky blackness, becomes dark as the night sky without a single star to light it and he says, "I know who this is about and he's wrong. That bastard that had the nerve to call himself your father? He was wrong. About absolutely every-goddamn-thing. There is nothing wrong with you, Billy Hargrove. Nothing. Alright?"

Billy shuts his eyes slow, lets his breath shudder out of him. All he's got is one word. "Why?"

"Why what?"

Billy squeezes his eyes shut tighter as Steve's grip loosens, as his fingers start stroking gently up and down his arm.

"Why are you -" Why are you here? Why do you love me? Why do you care so much?

Even unasked, Steve answers. "I love you because I love you." Steve's hand trails down from his shoulder to his chest, rests over his heart. "You're so much better than you think you are. So much more deserving than you think you are."

Billy opens his eyes to see Steve leaning in towards him, pressed in as close as he can be without just fully climbing into Billy's seat and sitting on his lap, not that he'd fit.

Steve's hand over his heart tightens, fingers digging in like they're scrambling for purchase and that's when it clicks - Steve's afraid.

Not of him. But for him. He's made Steve afraid. Steve cares enough to be afraid for him, Steve wants to love him, wants to care. Steve does.

Billy feels himself letting out a deep breath in a way he hasn't since just before he got that phone call and he leans forward, presses into Steve's touch.

"Okay," Billy says softly.

"You have a better heart than you think you do," Steve says, like he hadn't heard him, like he thinks Billy still needs convincing.

So Billy takes Steve's hand, plucks it from his chest and intertwines their fingers.

"Okay," he says.

And he kisses him.

fic tag squad:

@a-magey @xgardensinspace @myboyfriendsteve @haxpr0cess @thinger-strang @nagdabbit @demi-don @lissieisspacey @tracy7307 @ihni @yourneighborhoodace

@harringrovetrashh

(I can add or remove people from this list just let me know in a comment or whatever.)

#asexual representation #asexual fic #asexual #asexuality #asexual fic collection #gideonwrites #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove

88 notes · View notes

thekitchnpro · 2 years

Text

Every Kitchen Needs These Sharpest Kitchen Knives

New Post has been published on https://thekitchnpro.com/every-kitchen-needs-these-sharpest-kitchen-knives/

Every Kitchen Needs These Sharpest Kitchen Knives

Chef’s Knife

Bread Knife

Honing Knife

Paring Knife

Boning Knife

Pros and Cons The Sharpest Kitchen Knives

#best kitchen knives #kitchen knives #sharpest kitchen knives #top kitchen knives

0 notes

erindrewpotter · 4 years

Text

An avocado stone carving I made

#avocado #avocado seed #avocado stone carving #naturecore #sunflower #nature #cottagecore #handmade #cottage garden #carving #sunshine #avocado stone #mushroomcore #mushroom

23 notes · View notes

spacegaywritings · 4 years

Text

The life of Janus the Snake boi - Chap 1 - Snake tubes

General audience, POST POF; Words: ~1,5k Summary: Roman is fed up with sharing a room. He wants Janus to help him get rid of Remus for just a moment but makes a nice discovery instead. They decide to.. compromise.

Tags: roceit, roman, janus, ahhh antagonising remus a bit, self care, snake, being stuckm implied (nonsexual) nudity, snake kiss!, snake tongue, one (1) flustered prince

ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6. // all. tumblr: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6. My KoFi - Support me ♥ or Commission me story under the cut:

It was yet another day in the mindscape. The air was tranquil, the space was vast and there was barely any sound to be heard.

Roman strove through the commons to get to the other side of the space.

He was a busy prince. The determined steps he took reflected his sense of duty, his current quest. He had to find a certain slimy snake and get him to finally get this atrocious Remus out of his room. The creative side was not in the mood to deal with this man today. Instead, he wanted to lay down and put on a face mask and simply relax but he could not have nice things in this group, could he?

As soon as he had taken out his nail polish, Remus had showed up to swallow it whole like a damn sugar cube.

His steps echoed through the hallway which led to every accepted side’s room. He had tried to lure Remus to the kitchen but he did not comply, no. He wanted to be a dirty trashrat and eat nail polish because this is what that cursed abomination of a soulmate had to do.

He was sick of it.

Remus always came when he wanted to do nice things. Why did they have to share a room again? Any side had their own room so far but Roman was stuck with a filthy garbage can.

An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he finally calmed down the haste in his intense stomps. It felt as if the world was a bit more stable and silent now. His anger might have shook the mindscape a bit. Too bad he was creativity. His feelings and thoughts shaped the appearance of this place. It went as far as to affect even the private chamber assigned to each side.

Except in his room where Remus reigned with his stupid “stinki law” or whatever brainless stupidity he had come up with.

“Janus!”

The steps ceased. Instead, he straightened his posture and fixed his hair. The self-proclaimed prince swallowed and knocked at the stone door. Stone - only Roman would be fancier had Remus his own room rather than invade his precious space. Why did Thomas have to accept all these people again? They were not even good!

And why was he not answering!?

The royal knocked again.

Still no answer. More time passed. Roman started tapping his foot when Janus still did not bother to even say something, indicate he was there or open the door for all he cared and wanted.

If someone else was as good at catching Remus and keeping him busy, then he would be pestering someone else but nO the trash tamer was the only adequate arm in the art of ambushing Remus and kick him out once more.

He just needed a few hours to himself.

“Janus!”

.....

The royal groaned.

“I am giving you another moment to answer or I will just come in, I warned you. I just need you to get Remus out of my sight for a few hours - it is for Thomas!”

Even after this, there was taunting silence. It was the most disrespectful noise he had ever been tortured with. The audacity of refusing to acknowledge his presence, his words and his requests!

“That’s it, I am coming in!”

True to his words, Roman grabbed the heavy stone and moved it aside with surprisingly little effort. His hands burned in rage and cut through the air like a war plane. When the prince entered Janus’ room, the same gloomy silence engulfed him. It was a cryptic sort of environment to him, much like Remus’ presence. It was rather unlike Janus and something within him started to feel foul.

This was rather disconcerting.

Janus was the classy person, not the mysterious guy. Well, not anymore. He had revealed enough of himself to have lost all of his mystical aura. Now he was just a -

“BACK OFF, FIEND!”

Roman stumbled over something and sent himself right onto the floor. Great, just great. He was supposed to give himself a cooling face mask made of active coal and avocado - not stone ground and shed scale pieces.

Wait, what?

“..ugh..”

He peeled the sharp pieces off his face and blinked around. Something about Janus’ room was odd and it was not just the fact that Janus himself was missing. The usual tranquillity and timeless feeling of floating above it all was gone. Usually, Roman cared a little less about everything whenever he found himself to be in here but now he was stuck in this room and as connected to the rest of the world as per usual.

“Janus!”

His voice turned angered by now. It was spicy like his ill temper. He sat up and was just about to fully get up to his feet when he saw a little paper roll role over the floor. Well, it rather turned over itself aimlessly and suddenly laid there, unmoving and lethargic like an overfed snake.

Snake?

He inched in, examining the unknown object. It turned out to actually be nothing but one of these paper rolls of which people pulled their toilet paper off. And further... yellow! Yellow scales!

“Janus..”

His voice was softer. Almost a peace offering when his regal fingers slowly reached out to pick up the little roll and bring it up to his face. Indeed, a short lemon snake was stuck in the roll. Short and wide. It was not like toilet paper rolls had the smallest diameter in the world.

“Janus, is this you?”

The snake hissed, whipping the end of his body at Roman. If this snake had eyebrows, he would look angrier than Logan after implying he might not be 100% right about all he said - which was all the time, if you asked Roman. But that was only his very humble and very right opinion.

“Ah, yes. It is you. I almost mistook you for Virgil with how angry you got by just looking at me.”

His paper roll trembled and shifted with Janus’ intense movements. Snakes were not the most agile animals, from what Roman knew, but Janus seemed more than keen to get out of his grip. Even if that meant falling onto the ground.

“Janus, are you stuck?”

Yellow shrank into the roll and immediately launched forward so violently, Roman lost hold of the roll and dropped it. It slid out of his hands, moved towards the floor while Janus regretted his spiteful reactions for only a moment before- ..before Roman caught the roll and carefully set it down onto the ground.

“I can help you, Janus. I know.. we don’t love each other but.. I need your help, you need my help. Let me be a prince to you and cut you free and you shall shackle Remus’ impulses for just a few hours, so I can help Thomas recover.”

The boopnoodle stilled for a moment and turned his head. Only now was it that Roman realised Janus’ head. It was the same - or, well, a miniature version of it. Black, tiny, covering the top of his head. It was typical Dec- Janus. It was the typical Janus he knew and uh.. well.. knew. A little smile stole itself onto his lips.

Janus flicked his tongue at him and the prince couldn’t help but widen his smile.

“Trust me for a while, Janus.”

Roman conjured up a simple carpet knife and softly started to trace it over the paper roll with just enough pressure on the blade to drag little carves into it. It was not yet fully cut but with a little more wiggling around from Janus, the roll burst at the line Roman has gently cut. The snake was free, unharmed and ..

He looked at Roman who seemed so gentle all of a sudden. Janus was comfortable in his warm and caring hands. There was no harm in them. The knife was gone and only a precious prince remained. A rather handsome one, to be frank~

Janus stretched a bit, reaching out into the air and leaned in to press his boopsnoot against Roman’s lips for just a moment before sliding down to the floor and retreating into the heart of his room. The prince was left to freeze and stare after him, cheeks ablaze and eyes alive.

“Jan-”

The snake stopped and looked at Roman before flicking his tail at the creative side. Janus seemed longer than before. Automatically, Roman’s legs started moving and he accepted his fate in self-care heaven side by side with Janus, the self-care snake. He was at the heart of Thomas’ resting centre. Logically, he followed Janus suit when the snake slid into a warm tub of water and turned back into his human self. He did not even hesitate a split second when the man held his hat and put it aside, a burning longing in his warm orbs.

#Prince Roman #roman sanders #janus #ts janice #deceit #deceit sanders #ts deceit #roceit #fanfiction #fanfic #fanficion #fanfic fluff #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #remus mention

45 notes · View notes

lindam54 · 3 years

Photo

https://mymodernmet.com/avocado-stone-faces-carved-totems

2 notes · View notes

cecilspeaks · 4 years

Text

158 - The Battle for Time

Kasper Rhodes:

The future wants you. The future needs you. The future will have you, whether you want to or not. Welcome to Night Vale.

Kasper Rhodes here, hello. There’s a lot of talk generally and in particular about the future. Everyone’s going on about this or that, rocketships and spires, eternal life and AI, but the future is also soil and leaves. It’s a hand holding a hand, it’s clouds and it’s water and it’s salt. The future is organic as anything. There is still sweat in the future, [chuckles] I’m sweating right now! It’s hot where I am. And I am Kasper Rhodes, president of the Quality Cyborg Corporation, and I can take you away from all this, in the name of the Smiling God. The God that grins down at us all, grinning through our pain and grinning through our joy, just always grinning, just always the smile.

Do any of you believe in anything? I do. I believe in anything at all, I just believe. What a powerful thing it is to believe, to let doubt (--) [0:02:27] off you, [chuckles] just like the sweat.

I have a proposition and it’s also a promise. I will take your brain, and how much were you using it anyway, and I will put it in a robot. And that robot will do wonderful things. That is my promise. And it’s also a proposition. [chuckles] Anyway, we’ll talk more in person, I’m on my way. I’ll see you soon.

[whoosh]

Cecil: (-) am I through? Am I, am I on the air? Am I on the air? I come to you in a time of emergency and panic. We thought we could cheat death. Kasper Rhodes promised to take our brains and freeze them into the future where we could be reawakened into life eternal. But it was all a lie. Kasper is a time traveler here to collect the brains of the past, to power robots of servitude in the future. We were being tricked into an eternal life of manual labor, and now we know the truth and stand against them.

Unfortunately, he has called in reinforcements from the future, and they are those very robots with our brains inside of them. They cannot fight against their programming, and they weep as they crush us, but still they crush us. There are robots patrolling outside of the abandoned grain silo and every other spot in town where the Quality Cryogenics Corporation is storing brains, so we cannot save our fellow citizens from the terror of the future.

(-) [0:04:01]. Kasper worships a Smiling God. I thought we had escaped that cosmic terror but it has returned, and it has come for our minds. Night Vale, I call for resistance. I call for a stand against the future. I muster the present to destroy every moment that comes after. We will never stop fighting, we will never surrender.

Oh, um, ahem, but first. Tickets are going on sale for the Lions Club charity raffle. All proceeds from the raffle will be going of weapons and barricades to be used against the endless onslaught of the future robots piloted by our own brains. So that’s just a great cause. Let’s have a look at the prizes. There’s a package tour to somewhere called Nash-vile. That’s exciting. Uh, the package includes a map showing where Nash-vile is, and a pad of paper on which is scrolled: “You should probably get a hotel room when you get there.” Everything you need for a fun vacation. There are ten free piano lessons from Louie Blasko. He says that piano is a great way to exercise your mind and your creativity, and he promises much fewer injuries this time around. There’s a free haircut and style consultation from Telly the Barber. Uuuuuuuuuugh! Ugh, that vile Telly! Meh, I shouldn’t say that. Carlos has forgiven Telly for cutting his – beautiful hair all those years ago, and so I should too. There are lots of things I should do, and I’m sure I’ll get to them eventually. In the meantime, though: ugh! Vile Telly! Finally, there is the grand prize, which is an all expenses paid trip into the bottomless hole betwixt the dunes, that inexplicable dark pit that appeared a few years ago out in the Sand Wastes. We’re not sure who donated this prize, it just showed up at the Lions Club in a basket that smelled of mud and wet dog. But the winners will have the opportunity, in fact they will be compelled whether they want to or not, to leap into the bottomless hole betwixt the dunes. This is all expenses paid. I’m not sure what expenses there are to jumping into a bottomless hole but in any case, they’re covered. Raffle tickets are only 5 dollars and can be purchased at the Lions Club or by whispering into any crack in any wall. And again, proceeds go to saving us from the robot army, so please do buy a few.

[whoosh]

Kasper Rhodes: There’s a lot of talk generally an in particular about pain. “Oh, I’m in pain,” many say, “Oh, this pain is the worst I’ve ever felt,” many say. Many just scream and that’s understandable, I’d scream too if I could, but you can’t scream with a smile. That’s one of the laws of the Smiling God. I believe in laws. But then, I believe in anything.

Have you ever had rock candy? Who even thought up something so useless as these crystalline sugar lumps? What point is there to any of this, when rock candy is the kind of thing that we as humans apparently are up to? Generally, also in particular. But what I’m talking about is, what point is there to rock candy? And what I’m also asking is, what point is there to you? But I can provide a point, at you anyway. Wouldn’t that be nice for once? And don’t we want it to be nice for once, just once before we go? I’m talking here about purpose, and I have more purpose than I need. You have less purpose than you want. Let’s meet in the middle, and there in the middle, I will take your brain. Believe in the Smiling God and why not? I do.

[whoosh, high-pitched noises]

Cecil: [distorted] Night Vale, we will fight! [normal] Night Vale, we will win! The night may be long, but inevitably comes the dawn. Especially now that time works correctly here. Tamika Flynn has gathered her militia, who have aged to the point where they are no longer teenagers. It was kind of cute, a local friendly teenage militia, but now they’re just a militia, which is less cute. But definitely good to have on our side in this struggle. They are currently pelting the robots with stones but – ah, the robots’ metal frames are impervious to such attacks. Oh, this is so worrying! Josh Crayton, local shapeshifter, has resumed the form of a waterfall in an attempt to short out the electronics of the robot army. Unfortunately it appears that their bodies are water resistant and perhaps even waterproof, and so they are simply walking past him like he isn’t there. Josh, maybe some other form? Oh, OK, OK, Josh has panicked and accidentally taken the form of a 1970’s style avocado green galley kitchen. Oh, Josh, this will not be helpful at all.

“We’re going about this fight all wrong!” said Lenny Butler, who has no official bona fides on military tactics, but considered himself an aficionado of rowdy boys really taking it to each other on the battlefield. Lenny continued: “What we want to do is fight them!” When asked what that meant, he shrugged and (-) [0:09:47] irritably. “I know what it means!” he said. “I’m not gonna waste time explaining it to you, just like, flank them!”

Other towns have been forced to join the fight, as the robots are sweeping through the entire area. The ghosts of Pine Cliff have enthusiastically entered the fray. Unfortunately, of course, ghosts cannot physically affect our world, and so they are just hovering back and forth through the robots. But good hussle out there!

Citizens of the Whispering Forest muttered warm compliments to the robots in an attempt to simulate them into their tree forms, but robots are immune to compliments, as they’re only able to think as highly of themselves as they are programmed to do. Oh no, nothing is working! Ugh. Well, this seems like as good a time as any to talk about survival tips. The first thing to consider is your water source. Now, your body is 60 per cent water, so that seems like enough, let’s move on. Next, you will want to consider food. Stuck up on essentials like canned peas, easily stored grains, and those little bags of baby carrots which are just big carrots carved into small spaces and called babies. Which his not how babies are made. This is not what the word “baby” means. Anyway, if you find yourself in an emergency situation without enough food, consider expanding your definition of the word “food”. For instance, theoretically, you could eat a desk if you tried hard enough. Maybe the problem isn’t a lack of food, but lack of motivation on your part. Finally ,look for shelter. This one is easy, there are houses and buildings everywhere and you can just go into them. Some of them will be locked, they might even have people inside who say things like: “What are you doing in my house?” and: “You can’t be in here, this is the stock room of an Arby’s!” But don’t let naysayers like that get you down. This has been, survival tips.

[whoosh]

Kasper: There is a lot of talk generally and in particular about triumph. “We are winning,” a person might say. “We will defeat you,” a person might crow as the town falls in supplication around him. “You will all be taken to the future!” that person might continue. “You will be made useful.” And isn’t that wonderful? To be made useful? Isn’t that the best thing a person can be? I think so. It doesn’t matter what you think, [chuckles] it turns out you never did. It’s so impersonal chatting over the phone, es-especially since you haven’t been picking up. It seems rude, your refusal to listen to me, but-but I don’t mind. After all, it’s hard to begrudge you your last minutes of human freedom. Tell you what, tell you what, I’ll head over and collect you myself. Wouldn’t that be nice? For me, I mean, again it doesn’t matter what it is for you, it turns out it never did. OK, [distorted] see you soon, bye bye!

[whoosh]

Cecil: Give me back my radio frequency! Oh, I… Am I, I think I’m back on. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Well, I’ll talk whether you can hear me or not. More robots are pouring out of the time vortexes. The vorteces, vortes.. vorces.. vort-vortex-eses. Whatever they are. Thousands of robots are coming out and this is too much, we can never defeat all of them! The robots are marching to Kasper Rhodes’ army that was already here and they are… Listeners, they are fighting them. These new robots are fighting on our side. At their head is the one I recognize as containing the brain of Charlie Bair, the dayshift manager at the Ralphs, and he’s [huffing] he is announcing that some of the robots have broken free of their programming, that they have found a way to manipulate the metal body they were trapped in, and they have come back to help us prevent this all from happening. And the present day human Charlie Bair is running up to join his future metal counterpart. Night Vale, out on that battlefield is a robot which contains your brain! Find that robot and help it fight, or fight it, depending o n which side it’s on. Together, with ourselves, we can win this. There is still hope. There is always hope. There is also always The weather.

[“Sugar Neighbors” by Dane Terry https://www.thedaneterry.com]

Together, us and us, our own selves and our robot selves, we rushed against Kasper Rhodes, more and more of his robots broke free of their programming and joined us. Tamika and her militia were now Tamikas and their militias, and the intimidation factor was through the roof. This whole time, we just had to trust ourselves. [chuckles] And also have versions of ourselves that were embedded in super strong metal bodies. That was all it took this whole time to be victorious. Charlie Bair the human stood shoulder to shoulder with Charlie Bair the robot, and both fought valiantly. Josh Crayton took the form of a chainsaw, which was then wielded by Josh Crayton’s brain in a robot body to glorious and gory effect. It did not take long for the tides to turn. Sometimes, once the balance shifts, it shifts as quickly and definitively as a broken elevator plunging down a shaft. And then, Kasper Rhodes himself finally fell. Whether it was the stones cast by the Tamikas, or the fists of the Charlies, or Josh the chainsaw wielded by Josh the robot, I cannot say. In the chaos of battle, individual human action becomes indistinct, but the fact of Kasper’s death is indisputable. And in that moment he fell, every robot slumped into stillness, because time had changed. Kasper never took our brains when we died and used them in robots of the future, and because of that, every one of those robots no longer had a brain in them. They were empty shells. We carried those empty shelves with affection and care to Grove Park, where they would be sorted for parts and the resulting scrap metal used to fix the massive amount of damage done to town by this battle.

We kept one robot, though, just one. The scrawniest one with the most rusted joints and Pamela Winchell, who has been reading books on hobbyist surgery, removed Kasper’s brain from his still warm body and placed it in that robot, and the robot came to life in a panic. “Don’t worry,” we told Kasper the robot, “we’re not going to hurt you! We’re just putting you to work for the Miriam McDonald memorial fund. You will clean up the sand from the Sand Wastes until all the sand is gone. We don’t know how long that will take, it may take forever. Good luck!” And even now, a lone robot with a broom sweeps sand out of the desert. Hm. A fitting end for an unfit man.

[sighs in relief] Now there is only us, and the returned reality of our aging. And our death. I have come to think that Carlos was right. There is nothing more scientific than death. We fear it, reasonably, because it is a thing we can never know, perhaps not even when we experience it. But it is not worth perverting our lives, changing everything about ourselves just to avoid our natural ends. New generations will come. New people will live. And like everyone before us, we will gracefully exit to make room for those coming after. As the old saying goes: “Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.” [laughs] This is not a story about you! And you were glad, because it would be boring if every story was.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Every friend group has a joyful chasm. If you do not know who the joyful chasm is, then I have news for you: you are the joyful chasm.

[post credits segment]

Kasper: There’s a lot of talk generally and in particular. So many words. Oh man. Oooh maannn. Ugh, oh! [chuckles] This is not how. It isn’t. Was it? But it’s what’s left of me. Oh, it’s quiet in here at least. I can’t feel the smile anymore. (--) [0:25:49] that smile. In here, it is quiet and dark. My metal body moves, but my brain is still. I like it in here. [shivers] Nooo-oooo! That smile! The- the smile has appeared. Oh, oh God, y- you don’t understand! The smile is in here with me. [distorted noise, discordant music rises, then fades out]

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #episode 158 #the battle for time

57 notes · View notes