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junkdyke · 7 months

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That Time I Hooked Up With A Tumblr Mutual

Ok. Let me start by saying this is not a callout post, and this should be read as a humorous story, with some takeaway lessons at the end. Please enjoy my story of my weird ass encounter with a Tumblr mutual.

Part 1: The Backstory

Alight so boom. I had just returned home from a trip where I met a different Tumblr mutual. That trip was great but didn't end up going to plan, so long story short, ya girl was horny. I had never really had a one-night-stand or sought out a solely sexual hookup, so I started thinking maybe I could try it out, see how I like it. And through the sheer power of manifestation, that opportunity presented itself.

I was scrolling Tumblr and one of my mutuals posted asking if anyone was in (my area) and wanted to hang out. Mind you, I have never spoken to this mutual before. No DMs, maybe like 1 or 2 comments through tags and that's it. But, most of my moots are far as fuck, so when I saw she was near me I was like oh ayo, I'm free! Why not, I had nothing else going on! So I reply, and she DMs me.

So she introduces herself, we'll call her Chicle for reasons I'll get to later in the story lmao. Anyway, she gushes a little bit, saying she's been too shy to DM me and that I'm a really cool tattoo artist mutual, I say she's cute and seems cool, and she asks if I've ever been to this particular mall. I say I have and if she wants to cruise the mall with me. She says yeah I'd love to cruise the mall and "if I like her vibe, then maybe we can do something more fun." I say I'm down, she gives me her number.

So here is what I'm envisioning. We'll meet up at the mall, walk around and talk, get to know each other, have some laughs, get a snack, it was a Friday so maybe we could go out to like a bar or go dancing, and then maybe after that, possibly make-out or even have sex! I am not opposed to having sex after a first date if I'm really vibing with the person and if we've been talking for a bit before. Girls, this is not what happened.

Part 2: The Meeting

I get ready, and I drive to the mall. I park, we text on where to meetup and I head over to the Gamestop. I see her at the counter, go up and I'm like "are you buying Pokemon cards?" She starts laughing, she says "I didn't want you to see this!" I'm laughing, I told her it's cute, she finishes paying and we walk around. Cute start and thennnn it all starts to go downhill from here.

As we are walking out of the Gamestop, a minute and thirty seconds into meeting this stranger, she wraps her arm, not around my waist...but around my ass. And pulls me close. I'm instantly uncomfortable by how close this gesture is. She starts cooing in my ear about how she's "so glad I'm not a catfish" and "if I like her vibe because she really likes mine". We met not even 5 minutes ago, I have not had time to evaluate any vibes! But anyway! She asks if she wants smoke 🍃 so I agree, and we go outside, right across from where we just were.

I get to take like 1 hit from this pen, she then steps close to me and says "I'm so glad you're real" kisses me and squeezes my ass. I again feel the need to emphasize that at this point, it has still been less than 5 minutes since we've met, and we have exchanged about 10 messages only a couple hours prior. This is a stranger to me. ANYWAY.

We go back inside, she asks if I wanna walk around, I agree. We chat for a short bit of time, before we go to the food court. I wasn't hungry, so she got some food and we sat and talked. I had made some mention about my past and she wanted to know more so I'm like "okay, I'll give you my lore while you eat" so I basically tell Chicle my life story. Afterwards, we go to walk around more and I start trying to ask her questions so I can get to know her more. It becomes very apparent that she is not interested in getting to know each other lmao. I ask what she does for work, and what she's interested in, and she tells me she's interested in getting into (something animation related) and i'm like "oh ayo, that aligns with what I do" and start trying to get more info cause i'm curious, annd I get just the shortest fucking answers. Ok.

She ends up making a comment about how I'm probably more experienced than her, and I'm like "oh really? Well how many people have you been with?" and Chicle asks "are we counting online?" Now, there is nothing necessarily wrong with this...but it does become more clear on just how "online" this person is. Anyway, she has only been with a few people, never had a partner. It becomes very clear as to why she may have never had a partner.

Part 3: Inappropriate Behavior

We are walking around the mall, stopping in a few stores to look at stuff. Chicle is walking next to me and I am still trying to invoke conversation. But Chicle is not interested in conversation, because instead, she is deliberately and blatantly staring directly at my tits. What I mean is, mid-walking, she is at my side, craning her head to the side to make it incredibly clear that that is what she is doing. I straight up ask "are you...staring at my tits?" she confirms as such, and says something about her being a dog. The dog thing will come up again.

Chicle is at different points, holding me, kissing me, and saying various suggestive things. She grabs me and whispers in my ear "do you want to go back to my room" and I nervous laugh and say "uhhh, we'll see!" At another point, she says "you're so small, you want me to manhandle you and throw you around?" and I again nervous laugh. We're like in Hot Topic, and she start trying to makeout with me and grabbing my ass and says "you're making me so hard"(we'll put a pin in that) and I push her away and say "not in public". I can do a little PDA but this is a lot, and at this point I have known her for about 40 minutes, maybe an hour.

Continuing on, as we're walking through this crowded mall, she drapes her arm over my shoulder and starts grabbing my boob and trying to pinch my nipples, which I immediately pull away from and again say "not in public". Chicle again says "do you wanna get out of here and go back to my room" and I'm questioning what exactly she means, because the phrasing is a little weird. "what do you mean 'your room'?" and she says "I have a hotel room" so I'm a little confused cause I thought she lived in the area. She does.

"i got us a room"

Ya'll, this bitch preemptively booked a MOTEL ROOM without even asking me.

At this point, she has asked multiple times and each time I nervous laughed and said "haha maybe, we'll see, ehhh we'll see" To any normal person, my body language was extremely clear that I was uncomfortable. And again this is not a callout post, she is not a bad person, and everything that ultimately happened, I did consent to. But I will not sugarcoat the fact that this behavior was definitely inappropriate harassment, and there was absolutely some pressuring with the continuous asking. But as I mulled it over, there were 2 reasons I ultimately decided to agree and meet her at that motel.

I was craving intimacy

I had never done something like this before so..fuck it, let's do it for the plot.

And so, she gave me the address, we got in our respective cars, and we met at the motel.

Part 4: The Motel

We go to the room, put our stuff down, and I go to use the restroom. I'm thinking "oh shit, this is weird but alright, let's see what happens"

I come out of the restroom, wash my hands, and she comes over and we start kissing. Already it's fucking weird because the way she is kissing me is so goddamn fast, it's like someone inhaling a meal because they think it's gonna run away from them. Now idk about ya'll, but I like a slow, deep kiss. So already it's a mismatch, but whatever. She lifts me onto the sink, despite the weird kissing, it's hot. She has some really minty gum in her mouth, hence the name Chicle. Put a pin in that.

After a bit, we go to the bed, and I keep saying "how did you get me here" because honestly, I'm not fully comfortable, it's just a weird situation for me and I'm surprised I agree to it. But agree to it I did, so we get on the bed, and keep going. Now, even though she does not have much experience, she's not bad! But...I can tell there's certain things she's doing that I've seen. Or rather, read. Whew lad.

As we're getting into it, my clothes are coming off, she's saying "You're my favorite Tumblr mutual. I can't believe this is what my favorite Tumblr mutual is into." I don't even really know what to say to this because quite frankly, mentioning social media in bed in any capacity is kinda fucking cringe. But it just gets worse.

So, she's spitting on my pussy. And I, personally, have a strong aversion to spit. It's something that I tell anyone that is a potential sexual partner, but it this case, we obviously did not have a prior talk about our sexual boundaries. In this case, I'm like "okay whatever as long as it's just there" but I quickly say "hey uh, just please don't do that in my mouth or i'll throw up" lmao. She's like "Oh okay sorry sorry". But then at some point, without warning she smacks the FUCK out of my pussy, and I'm so taken aback I immediately say "UH DON'T DO THAT" and she again apologizes and says

"Oh sorry, you know I had to try that one. Like that Tumblr post, you know the one."

Ya'll, everything this bitch is doing, she is referencing posts from Tumblr. She is referencing the sexy fantasy butch/femme text posts from Tumblr and she is referencing them out loud. In the middle of real life sex.

She goes on to reference more posts, and the worst part is I know exactly the one's she's talking about. "Mutuals to lezz out with" etc etc, it's so fucking cringe, and she tells me about how she started wearing more of a certain article of clothing after I reblogged a picture of her in it and how embarrassed she is to admit that (I thought that was kinda cute actually) anyway

She's still going way too fast with like all her movements, I tell her to slow down and relax and I think at this point I mention how she did not have to do all that PDA shit from before. She says "well you know, on my Tumblr I do say I'm a dog" and then uh, she starts barking. 💀 literally starts going "woof, woof" and I tell her to s t o p. Jesus fucking christ.

Anyway, after mentioning Tumblr and calling me her favorite Tumblr mutual way too many fucking times, I'm on top of her. Mind you, this whole time, I'm kinda in and out dissociating, just due to how not fully comfortable I am with this. But ya know, I'm still going for it. Her shirts off, she has really cute boobs, and then I notice a really fucking huge bulge in her pants. And I fully dissociate. Not gonna lie, I started feeling really panicky, because straight up, I was not prepared for this. Physically, I'm still touching her, but my mind is fully disconnected, and I'm thinking "oh fuck. When she said 'you're making me so hard' was she being literal? I don't know if I'm comfortable with this. Should I tell her I want to stop? But I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Should I just take it? Well no, I don't really want to...maybe I'll just say 'hey is it cool if I don't touch it?' I mean, she's cute so ehhhhh let's just see what happens!" SO. We continue on.

We flip and she's now on top of me. She references another fucking Tumblr post, and says "do you wanna suck on this lesbian cock?", unzips her pants and pulls out...this MASSIVE transparent strap on. And I'm like oh, it was fake LMAO. Then I say "...yeah, so that's not going in me"

She ends up taking it off, I don't even know how the fuck she hid it in her jeans that entire time, and we continue on. Around this point, I'm starting to feel pretty spent, she did some other things like opening up my pussy to stare at it and describe the color, whatever, I'm kinda done and I just wanna cuddle. So we cuddle for a bit and again, it's physically nice but it's just so weird because she is SUCH a stranger to me that I can't get fully comfortable. She starts trying to start up again and I'm just not really in the mood anymore. She keeps playing with my nipples and typically whenever I'm touched in a way I'm not digging, I'll just take their hand and move it away as a silent but pretty clear way to indicate "no". But uh, I had to do that like 4 times with her before I verbally say "hey, please stop" and her response is "why" 💀 like wdym "why" bitch, cause i said so. I'm kinda surprised by this response so I start to say "Uhhhh, it's...kinda specific" and she goes "oh okay, sorry sorry".

So, honestly, I kinda just wanna go home but I don't wanna be mean and just take off. But there's also no way in hell I'm sleeping over in this motel room. So, I suggest we go out and maybe go to a club or something and she's like "uh, no. I don't like going out" 💀 like damn, maybe you should spend less time on FUCKING TUMBLR AND TRY GOING OUT IRL but whatever, instead we just go get food and bring it back to the room.

Part 5: What Could Have Been

We got some burgers, and she wants to open the Pokemon cards. We do, that's fun and cute, and she asks if I wanna keep some of the stickers that came in one of the packs.

Then she tells me that she had went to the library and checked out a book on tattoos since "she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and thought we could flip through it together." And I genuinely think this is such a cute fucking gesture, I think it's really sweet, and it frustrates the fuck out of me because of what this could have been.

I told her that she did not have to do all the PDA, it was a lot and it was excessive. She is not apologetic about it, and says that the reason she was like that was because "she needed me to know what her intentions were and that this was not just a 'friendly' meeting." so I reiterate that she did not have to do ALL OF THAT just for me to know that. And she just insists that in the past, girls have treated her like just a "bestie" so she needed to get her point across. Now call me old fashioned, but you could have just verbally fucking communicated "hey, i'm really attracted to you" and I would have caught the fucking drift. But okay!!

She asks me if I have any knives because I guess femmes tend to have a knife collection. I say no. And she fucking pulls out this huge ass lethal switchblade thing and is like "this is mine!" and i'm like oh god, this is it, I'm gonna fucking die in this motel room. But she doesn't kill me, she just shows me the cool knife and then puts it away. I have known this person for like 4 hours.

So, we flip through the book, and it's funny and cute, but she keeps trying to kiss me and instigate, and i'm just not interested, I just wanna flip through the book and go the fuck home. And that's pretty much what happens, we finish, I'm like "aight, ima head out" but

before i do

we end up making out again and then I think she was helping me put my shoes on?? she's on her knees in front of me and...she asks me to spit in her mouth. Once again, I have a major aversion to spit and i really, truly, do not want to spit in her mouth. But she says please...so I do like a half assed spit and hope it's good enough. She asks me to try again....so I get an accumulation and spit in her mouth, and she swallows it and i am so so sad about it 😭 and I finish getting my shit and I go the FUCK HOME.

Now here is what frustrates me about all this. Physically? This girl is extremely my type. I like the way she dresses, she has really nice arms, she has a cute face, she's really fucking attractive. She's interested in getting into the animation industry, which I'm currently also working on getting into as well. We could have talked about that and really had a cool discussion on what kind of projects she wants to do and what style she works in. She likes video games, we could have talked more about what games we like. She got this tattoo book because she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and I think that's really fucking cute. There's so many non-sexual aspects that could have made this a real fucking date where I got to know this person, and feel comfortable, and then we could have had really great sex because straight up, the girl was good. She may have learned it from Tumblr, and some of it was weird, but for the most part? She was damn good, especially for only having limited experience. This could have turned into something real! But NO. Chicle, instead, wanted to grope my tits in front of families an hour into meeting me, and made no effort to really let me get to know her in any capacity whatsoever! And it's not like she wanted this to be just a one-night-stand, because she had told me she was looking for a gf and asked me what I was looking for!

It just could have been so much better than this weird ass situation. And after the fact, she texted me and I answered a couple times, but when the following morning she said something to the effect of "it felt so good having you on my lap" I just never answered. Because prior to this, there was absolutely no established relationship, friendship or otherwise. And I could not see anything moving forward, because we couldn't backtrack into the aforementioned "could have been". I considered communicating how I didn't actually feel super comfortable with how things went, but I ultimately just decided to not reply. Shitty on my part, but again, there was no prior anything. And we just never spoke again, we remained mutuals, and so I never talked about this because uh, obviously she would see it. But since she blocked me, heyho now you all get the story!

Part 6: Epilogue

Now, the reason I decided to call her Chicle (Spanish for Gum)

So, while the nice minty gum was a nice gesture, her spitting that gum juice all over my vagina resulted in me getting a yeast infection💀 No more hookups.

So what lessons did we learn!

It's important to talk about sexual boundaries before having sex with someone!

Internet fantasy is not real life! Don't just do shit because you read about it in a fucking internet post or saw it in porn! (Especially when that person doesn't even make those kinds of posts, i don't reblog most of those for a reason)

Don't chew gum before going down on someone

Communication overall is really important for setting up any foundation, even if it is just a one-night hookup!

(yes this is ok the RB cause I spent forever writing this and I do genuinely think it's a very funny story. Sometimes ya just gotta do things for the plot so you get a good story out of it. No regrets, and my pussy is all healed up lmao)

#decided to make this it's own post oops #wlw #lesbian dating #lesbian #storytime #dykeposting #mine #ok to rb

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axeoverblade · 10 months

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Ayo can I request a platonic 1610 miles x older fem reader. Like she acts like an older sister to him and she visits him in his dimension. Bonus if his parents love her.

Dynamic Duo

1610 Miles x Platonic fem! reader

Synopsis! Miles never really cared for having another sibling until he met you

MASTERLIST

Genre: fluff, just fluff.

Warnings: mentions of dead sibling, foul language

Word count: .7k

Authors comment: THIS WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER IM CRYING. Two posts about Miles in one cause why not? ENJOY <3

•when you first met Miles you two clicked immediately

•He reminded you of your late little brother

•even though it made you sad at first to be around Miles cause of the nostalgia of it, you grew extremely fond of him over time and vise versa

• Bad habit of calling him youngin and he gets SO PISSED

• “what’s good youngin” “I’m not even that young shut the hell up”

• would get in trouble often with Miguel because you two “weren’t using your watches properly”

•apparently traveling dimensions to have ice cream together was against the rules

•still did it anyway

• he tells his mom about his friend “who left town” who was like his big sister and indirectly how much he admired you

•he would never ever tell a soul he looked up to you even though it was very obvious

•like bro legit mimics half the things you do unconsciously

•You notice it but don’t say anything

• you are so unconsciously over protective

• like you sometimes forget he’s a spiderman too

• he does the most stupidest things to impress you like a younger sibling does

• “Hey y/n look!” *cue Miles hanging upside down from a bridge doing stupid dangerous poses* “Miles! Get the hell down before you kill yourself” “But ’s cool right?” “…that’s besides the point”

•INSIDE JOKES!!!!

•or just those understanding looks you two give each other when you both see something stupid

• randomly pop up in his dimension to surprise him

• you two swing around the city together for the fun of it

•He rants to you constantly about his home life, finally feels safe enough to speak about everything that’s going on and how he feels to someone

•calls you when he has anxiety attacks. even though he would never outright say he’s having them, you know

• call it big sister senses

• always change the subject to something you know calms him and suddenly he’s laughing telling you about something that happened a couple of days ago when he was on duty

•Makes you happy he has an outlet he feels safe talking to because you know he can't do that with anyone else.

•HE STEALS ALL YOUR THINGS

• “yah so then-is that my jacket?” “…noooo?” “Miles I swear I'll kill you that’s like the fifth one this month”

• Always wants to be around you

•like lil bro is always just around trying to hang out with you or go on your missions when he can cause he thinks it’s cool to see you in action

• he even copies your moves for when he fights villains

• You finally met his parents

• at first they were very skeptical of you but after seeing how you two interact they grow very fond of you

•asks you to visit more often and cook for you whenever you do come

•you three talk about Miles whenever you think he’s not listening (he is) and how proud you are

•both you and his parents get on his ass about random stupid things he does

•legit tag team him all the time and there’s nothing he can do

•you visit so much you have a little bag of things in his room for when you come over

• you have your own personal relationship with his parents. They see you as one of their own and you see them like a second pair of parents

• they have their own nickname for you

• you are so close they add you to the family gc

• you and Miles bicker all the time about the stupidest things

• “shut up that’s why I’m the favorite kid” “you’re not even their kid!” “Your just proving my point further”

•you act like a real siblings. Like you would give your kidney for him but if he asks to borrow your charger? Hell nah

• overall he genuinely loves you and really appreciates you and you can say for the same for him

•will always be there for each other just like real siblings because in a way, you two are and always will be

©axeoverblade

#spider man: across the spider verse #miles morales x reader #cute #miles x reader #miles x y/n #miles morales #miles x you #miles morales x y/n #miles platonic #platonic #spiderman into the spiderverse #atsv fic #spiderman atsv #atsv

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razzzzberrysorbet · 2 months

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So uhhhh this is my first post lemme know if you liked it or want more!

My Modern! Atwow Headcanons!!!!!

Includes: Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri,,Tsireya, Ao’nung +y/n ofc 💜

(I edited this btw so if you alr read this and it’s different that’s why 😉😉)

Neteyam:

Darker skin then lo’ak

He had dreads about shoulder length

Probably has his hair tied up alot

Baggy cargo pants + hoodie/baggy tee are his go to!!!!!

Can def see him thrifting

Not really a teachers pet but is very respectful and does his work! Is a fav amongst teachers

Is probably in a bunch of advanced classes

Can see him doing track in the spring and football in the fall

Puts his jersey in your locker so you can wear it when you go to his games!!!!!!

Can he him being pretty toned and lean rather than buff

Tall😉😉😉😉

Is such a sweetheart to everyone!!!!! He loves helping people, very nice person (mom taught him well)

Can see him working at a sneaker store + lifeguarding in the summer with Lo’ak

Skincare queen 🩷🩷🩷

He loves when you come over so you guys can do face masks and watches movies (bro needs to confess already)

Is popular at school but I feel like he would be oblivious to the fact almost the whole school knows him😭

If his class is close he will wait outside of the room so he can walk you to class!!!!(so nice)

Out of all his friends he probably talks to you the most

Is so smiley around you!!!

Is so oblivious to other people’s crushes on him it’s kind of annoying

Smells soooo😫😫😫😫😫😫

Lo’ak

Is a class clown for sure 😬😬😬😬

But he’s actually really funny!!

Is best friends with like all of his teachers

Def listens to rap or soul/funk

Sneakerheaddddd

WEARS NIKE TECH U CANT CHANGE MY MIND!!!!!!!!

Light skin

Keeps his dreads short

Can see him having sum blondes pieces tooooo

He is totally a “where my hug at” and “hey mamas” type😪

Screams “AYO WHERE MY HUG AT” from across the hall way sometimes Tsireya will run away from him😭😭

Basketball + Track 😛

Probably only keeps his grades up so he can keep playing sports….

Has many friends very popular!!!!!!

His snap score is like a million 🥲

Gaslights the teachers into thinking he doesn’t have his AirPods in

Is loud…..

Is a trash talker during 🏀 fosho and is extra with celebrating

Honestly has THE WORST diet but somehow is really fit?

Checks himself out and flex’s 24/7 💪 💪

Is actually pretty famous on tiktok????

Charlie Damelio who????😍😍😍

Kiri

Earth tones on her>>>>>>

Pretend to not to know lo’ak😭

Sleeps in all her classes yet is passing???

Room filled with crystals/incense

Has like 2 or 3 close friends

Wears waist beads !!!!

Wolf cutttt

Probably dyes her hair lot

Sassy queen

RBF for sure

Is such an artsy person can see her painting and sculpting

Has her 1,000 year old beat up converses 💀

Keeps trying to get you and neteyam together!!!!!

Not super popular or into popularity tbh

Her desks are always covered in random drawings

“🙄”go to face 😭😭😭😭

Tsireya

Is actually the sweetest girl ever!!!!

Such a girls girl

Def has a big sweet tooth and alot of candy

Gifting is her love language

Does very well in her classes!!!!! Can see her doing extra curriculars too!!!!!

I see her doing volleyball and dance w/you

You and her are besties for life!!!!!

You guys have been dancing together forever!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Does lo’aks makeup/ he pretends to not like it but is secretly loving it

She deff loves pastels and pink!

Omg her makeup and outfits are so cute!!!!

Loves matching with Lo’ak and you ofc

People pleaser to the max just wants people to like her🩷

Has 3 or 4 close friends but she’s honestly friends with everyone!!

You guys talk one time now she’s saying hi to you everyday 😭🥹🩷

Very girlie and feminine

Her room came straight from Pinterest

Polynesian baddieeeeee

Never ever excludes anyone makes people feel so loved

Cheers for lo’ak at his basketball games

Tries to convince you neteyam is crushing on you

Sleepovers with her 😚😚😚😚

Ao’nung

Um RBF much????

Since you and Tsireya are childhood besties that means you and Ao’nung have known each other for so long!!!

Whenever you are over in tsireyas room he will come in and flex in her mirror 😒

Basketball for sureeeee

Parents forced him into learning piano and hes actually so good???

Might not seem like it but such a caring brother

Oh no?? Tsireya forgot her lunch

Don’t worry! Ao’nung already brought it!

She needs money? He’s handing her his wallet while rolling his eyes “🙄🫴💳 “

He’s honestly so protective over you

Barely tries in class but is super smart

Probably wears muscle tanks to school-

Plays basketball with Lo’ak in thier driveway

Ok but his biceps….

Quiet but known 🩷

Is friends with neteyam but mostly for your sake

Sarcastic king

Lifeguarding + teaching swim lessons

Deffffff wears puka shell necklaces

He’s pretty tall and teases you for being short

Natural smirk 😫😫

Triangle method ummmm???????😧😧😧

Always offered to get you something whenever he goes out

“Hey im going to the gas station, want anything??”

Has all of ur baby pics😭😭😭😭

Plssss ur so embarrassed whenever he shows Neteyam

(Sorry if that was long lolll)

Y/n(you)

U and tsireya do/did dance together 🩷

Omgggg there are so many videos of you guys dancing

Straight A student cuz ur a baddie

Oblivious to neteyams fat crush on you?????

Jewelry Jewelry Jewelry

Ao’nung and Neteyam probably have ur bracelet on their wrists

Ur house is THE ultimate hang out spot

You and lo’ak do so many tiktok dances together 😭😭

You always cling onto neteyams arm when you guys walk together don’t let ao’nong see🫣

Unlimited amounts of clothes…….

Y/n ur literally so popular and you don’t know it!!!!

Helppppp you have guys falling to ur knees 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

Lip syncing queen?????

Everyone loves you you’re so sweet and genuine🩷🩷

Ur photo album is full of pictures of all your friends

Wearing neteyams jersey to his games (y/n how have you not figured it out yet????)

I see you working with tsireya and Kiri at the mall

Dancing your whole life your so good!!!!!

AirPods in 24/7

Girl you got so many boys wrapped around your pinky how to you do it??????

Weekly hangouts with neteyammm

Omggg k ur baby pics are all over tsireya and ao’nungs house like?????

You and the girls filming Grwms😭😭

U love kids and babies (tuk)

Um imma need that workout/makeup/skincare routine pls 😁😁🤲🤲🤲🤲

(You can totally change dance to whatever sport/hobby you want I just put dance cuz I love it!)

#neteyam #lo’ak sully #ao’nung #kiri sully #tsireya #neteyam x reader #lo’ak x tsireya #ao’nung x reader #modern au #atwow #fanfic #avatar the way of water

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bau-drabbles · 1 year

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a/n: heavily inspired by those all posts but i can't find who they're from, i'm sorry 😭

your instagram but you're dating aaron hotchner :)

except i have no idea how to write for hotch/the team so it's definitely ooc 😹

part 2, 3, 4

liked by its.emilyp, d.morgan and 501 others

y/n_xo: bearded aaron hottie >> 😮‍💨😮‍💨

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a.hotch: you tell me this after i shaved it all off

y/n_xo: you're still a hottie! just a beardless one 🤍

a.hotch: i'll grow it back for you

y/n_xo: my whole husband 🫶🥹

penny.garcia: you both make my heart so warm 💗 the ice king has finally melted his heart, this'll be such a good story for your kids! 🥹

d.morgan: yall make me so sick

its.emilyp: i feel like this man popped outta the womb with a glare looool

a.hotch: 🤨

its.emilyp: 🙂***

itsjj: suddenly i fear you have a whole stack of paperwork to complete

its.emilyp: and you'd be correct 😪

penny.garcia: SIR 🗣 AYO SIR 🗣🗣 SIR YOU LOOKIN FINE SIR 🗣🗣🗣🗣

reid.gram: not you thirsting over our BOSS 😦

d.morgan: i don't like this, babygirl

itsjj: sometimes sharing is not caring

its.emilyp: i hate it here ☹

penny.garcia: that wasn't me!! 😩 @/y/n_xo grabbed my phone!

y/n_xo: my bad, can't be thirsting on the main 🧍‍♀️

d.morgan: you can barely even see me, why we so blurry?

reid.gram: did you really expect high quality pictures from @/y/n_xo, be honest

the.davidrossi: always the blind ones out here taking 240p pictures

y/n_xo: always the old ones with the most audacity

d.morgan: FOULL 🤣

reid.gram: see, me personally i wouldn't take that type of disrespect

y/n_xo: all that iq and you still can't find a date 😔🤞

its.emilyp: that's my girl 😏

a.hotch: you stop influencing her right now

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y/n_xo: new boyfriend applications, this one is mean 😒

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a.hotch: wait does that sign not mean something good?

its.emilyp: no it does! nowadays it means peace and happiness

d.morgan: yeah it's also a way to say you love someone a lot

a.hotch: really? @/y/n_xo 🙂🖕❤

itsjj: LMAOOO

reid.gram: I CANT BREATHE

penny.garcia: IVE ALREADY SS THIS AND SENT IT ON THE GC 😂

y/n_xo: my poor man 😭

a.hotch: all of you are getting into trouble

its.emilyp: so worth it 😹

yourexname: i miss you ❤

a.hotch: you're going to miss when you didn't write this

penny.garcia: currently documenting every second of this

reid.gram: we're watching a historical event unfold, you guys

itsjj: i'm a little concerned for this man's safety

its.emilyp: hey, alls fair in love and war 😍

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y/n_xo: never leave your phone unattended pls

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reid.gram: of course you choose the one picture of my double chin

y/n_xo: it's always out wdym

reid.gram: .... oh

d.morgan: you walked straight into that one, pretty boy

penny.garcia: you guys are so mean 😭 my poor boy wonder

reid.gram: all these haters and for what? 😒

its.emilyp: i smell the cheetos from here

itsjj: i did not eat any 😡

y/n_xo: liar. they were on the side

its.emilyp: called it. my cheeto girl ❤

penny.garcia: time to play cupid, methinks 😌

y/n_xo: budge over will, emily's taking your place ‼️‼️

its.emilyp: 😏

itsjj: 😳

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 609 more

y/n_xo: two best friends in a room.... they might kiss 😳

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the.davidrossi: how can i delete someone else's picture?

d.morgan: don't be embarrassed rossi, embrace your truth ✊

itsjj: we support you ✊

its.emilyp: sassy king ✊

reid.gram: hey, at least you and @/its.emilyp have something in common ✊

its.emilyp: literally choke

penny.garcia: you owe me 5 bucks @/y/n_xo 🥳

the.davidrossi: i hate all of you

itsjj: aww they look a little like henry and jack, forced to take a picture

a.hotch: that's because we were. this was the 10th picture

y/n_xo: that's cause you're so pretty ❤

the.davidrossi: i genuinely got heatstroke after this. never ever take pictures if @/y/n_xo is near

y/n_xo: :(

a.hotch: ignore him, he's on his sixth wife for a reason. i love all your pictures sweetheart ❤

y/n_xo: :")

penny.garcia: the absolute CUTENESS i CANNOT 😩🥹💗💗

its.emilyp: i can be a better boyfriend than him

y/n_xo: i love you

a.hotch: i am sorry??

reid.gram: damn the silence is loud

itsjj: reid don't be an instigator..... but do i sense a relationship forming? 👀

d.morgan: nah, i could treat you way better princess

a.hotch: @/d.morgan and @/its.emilyp both of you in my office now

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch hotchner

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becauseimswagman1 · 1 month

Text

Toxic Love

A/N:.... it's been forever since I've posted...I'M BACK WITH THE SMUT GUYS. Don't be afraid to comment either!!!

A/N#2: he got some pretty teeth y'all

This for you @itsbackwoodsbby 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

(She wrote something for me. Gotta get her backkkk)

------------------------------

To say that you and your man are a toxic couple is downplaying just how toxic y’all actually are. He cheats and cheats, yet you stay. “Why?” is the million-dollar question. You could say you love him, but you could also say you love the money he makes. See your man is a drug dealer, but not just any ole drug dealer, he’s feared. He’s not to be messed with in any way, so what made you finally get his lying and cheating ass back? The most recent bitch he cheated on you with.

Her name is whor- Hazel. Hazel been tryna get at your man forever. You’re surprised he even fucked that fuck-anything-that-walks, homewrecking ass girl, but niggas will be niggas you guess. You’ve come to realize that they’ll fuck anyone and anything.

Anyways, you got him back by fucking his fine ass, big dick-having-ass cousin. Guess it really does run the family, but the dick was trash and the head was bomb, but if your man asks then all of it was better than him.

You could only imagine how crazy he acted once he found out, but he was almost done with his drops for the day so you’d find out in a minute or two.

---------------------------------

You hear a car door slam and shortly after the front door slam too, “Ayo what the fuck am I hearing bout you fucking my cousin Dre?!”

You almost laughed, his anger was comical to you. You admit you did act like this when you found out he cheated the first time, but as smart as he is… you figured he would’ve figured everything out by now.

You shrugged at him, “Oh they talking about that already? Damn word get around fast. And don’t be slamming the doors in this house!”

“It’s true? You sit up here living this lavish ass lifestyle and you decide to act like one of yo lil friends and fuck anybody with a pulse.”

Okay, he was doing too much now. It’s not like you slept with half the motherfuckers in his gang unlike someone (Hazel).

You stood up off the couch, “Nah, Trevante fuck you! I don’t know why you tryna make me out to be some type of hoe but that shit not gone fly. Yo black ass acting like I fucked yo brother or something. It was just your cousin so back up off me.”

He walked over to you and got in your face, “Tell me that shit not true. Tell me it’s not so I can go pop the nigga that told me.”

Damn, did he have the grill in today? Top AND bottom too? Mhmmmm.

You stared up into his eyes as innocently as you could while he looked down at you, “Sorry baby, but… it’s true. And it was sooo good, too. He fucked me way better than you.”

God, he’s wearing the cologne that makes you soak your panties in record time.

“Oooooh now he’s better than me? I’ll murk that nigga right now, blood or not. Keep on testing me, ma.”

He’s gonna fuck you up. He’s no longer mad at the get back, but the thoughts of another man fucking you better and that you could possibly leave him because of that haunt him now.

“I’ll be here to wash your clothes when you get back. Just don’t come in here dripping blood and shit. It’ll be a bitch to get out our new carpets.”

Trevante could see how unphased you were about this whole thing and it only pissed him off more. You gave away your pussy and that belonged to him.

He grabbed your neck and got real close to your face, “Say he’s better than me again, and watch what happens to you.”

You smirked, this is exactly what you wanted, “He’s better than you. Maybe this will teach you not to fuck with dirty ass hoes.”

He chuckled, tightening his hold on your neck a little, “So you mad I fucked one of yo lil friends?”

“She’s not-” He cut you off, “Right. She’s not. But you really went out and did what you did as a get back? You put on your big girl panties and took a shot at me? That’s a mistake, baby.”

He pecked your lips then threw you over his shoulder, “You gone regret that shit.”

“Baby-”

“Nah, don’t “baby” me now. You was just talking all that shit, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is.”

Trevante took you to your shared room and sat you down on your feet then grabbed your neck again, making you look at him, “You gonna be good for Daddy?”

“Mhm.” you avoided his heated stare. You knew what he had in store for you was gone have you acting right...for now.

He tightened his grip on your neck, “Words ma, or you not gone get what you deserve.”

“I’ll be daddy’s good gir-” he adjusted your head to look at him in his eyes, “Good what?”

“I’ll be daddy’s good little slut.”

He pecked your lips and let your neck go, “Take your panties off. Ass up, face down.”

------------------------

Taglist: lmk if you wanna be added or taken off

@prettyisasprettydoes1306 @thatone-girly

@blackerthings @roguekiki @enigmadivine

@novaniskye @ziayamikaelson @twocentuar

#becauseimswagman1 #x black reader #smut #trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes x reader #trevante rhodes smut #black fanfiction #black fanfic writer

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minniiaa · 1 month

Note

Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss

Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).

The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).

So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.

First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.

There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:

The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.

BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)

Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.

HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.

As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.

For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)

#Lawlu #anti shipping #shipping #asks

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hoodharlow · 3 months

Text

Superstar

AN: Miriam is now a three time Grammy award-winner <3

Requested? No

Warnings: Jack being unserious, rude people in the comments

Word Count: n/a

•••

@'mdm: 3rd time on SNL, 1st as a performer. Can't wait for y'all to hear the rest of the Last Dance soundtrack on March 9th 🥺 HUGE ty to THEE Emmy and Golden Globe award-winning Ayo for being the most talented human ever. It was privilege to be at your side. Also need your cover of No Air on spotify ASAP

@'medegutierrez: and just like that she beat the can't dance allegations 🦦

-> @'jackharlow: someone had to say and I'm glad it wasn't me

@'ayoedebiri: big slay

-> @'mdm: ilysmmmm

@'zendaya: okayyyy 😍

@'haileybieber: you're incredible 🥰

@'bellahadid: IT girl

@'miriamfan: she's THAT bitch

@'jackharlowstan: don't ask me the color of ANYTHING

@'kehlani: try these moves on 😍😍😍

View all comments

•••

Miriam via Instagram Stories

•••

@'claybornharlow: a song I worked on with my big sis and @lukehemmings won a Grammy today. It was a huge honor to be a part of this. Thank you to Miriam for believing in me as a producer and collaborator. Can't wait to see what the rest of the night has in store for you. Here's Miriam in the studio when we made this

@'jackharlow: now you made Miriam cry

@'mdm: akdghfjskskshdjsksks 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺 ilysm Clay. I wouldn’t have won if it weren't for you and Luke. Without you two, there wouldn't be What I Was Made For 💓💗💕

@'lukehemmings: proud of us

@'barbiemovie: this Ken is a Grammy winning producer

@'monetmitchell: my faves 💓 proud of you babyyy

Comments have been limited

•••

@'mackupdates: Miriam on her Instagram Stories. She's so funny I can't. And before y'all start, her movie is premiering at SXSW and she's been calling it her baby since she's announced it.

@'mdmxjh: y'all think this is how they announce their pregnancy?

-> @'miriamfan: you really think Jack and Miriam would announce they're having a kid? Plus if the baby was due in March she'd be huge as hell.

-> @'miriamstan: read the caption, I beg you

@'jackstan: of course this would be how she reacts to winning a Grammy lol

@'miriamhater: nepotism wins again 😒

View all comments

•••

@'mdm: no words :')

@'katdominguez: go baby sister

@'josephdominguez: 🥺

@'jackharlow: 3 holes for 3 Grammys 👉🏼👈🏼

-> @'mdm: how if you only have 2 holes and 0 Grammys 🤔

-> @'lilnasx: get him again for me

@'alinahunter: you deserved this 🥺

@'saintclauds: that's my bestirini 🥰🥰🥰

@'victoriamonet: proud of you

-> @'mdm: no, I'm proud of YOU 🥺🥺🥺

@'theestallion: EXACTLYYYY

@'claybornharlow: we did that 🤞🏻

-> @'lukehemmings: 🤞🏻

@'miriamhater: Ariana Grande deserved

-> @'miriamfan: she wasn't even nominated 😭

@'antimiriam: nepotism can only take you so far

-> @'mackaremyparents: I mean she's literally one award from winning an EGOT, directed & produced & created the soundtrack for her own movie, and is doing her masters. Your faves could never!

View all comments

•••

Jack via Instagram Stories

•••

@'jackharlow: my three time award-winning superstar

@'mdm: why would you post this! Of all pictures from today you post the one of me reading Clay's post

-> @'jackharlow: don't you have homework to finish?

-> @'mdm: I literally finished before the plane took off

-> @'8amclassmate: fuck now I gotta do the reading

@'lilnasx: MOTHER

@'rapfan: imagine your bitch winning before you. I'd dump that hoe because she can't embarrass me like that

@'jackfanbutmiriamhater: oh I hate this for him. He deserves someone how won't outshine him. Miriam is always doing way too much and it sucks that she wrote Jack's brother in her schemes 😒

@'jackharlow: y'all are mad annoying. It's not a fucking competition for me and Miriam. As her partner, I know the hard work she puts and she deserves this and more

View all comments

No more taglist :)

#jack harlow #jack and miriam #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow insta au #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow oneshot

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azamitetsuya · 2 months

Text

Hey all! So here's a small introduction before I get into the post. My name is Azami Tetsuya! I'm a author on Wattpad and this is my first official chapter posted on here. So now for the warnings.

~WARNING~

SMUT, STALKING, YANDERE BEHAVIOR, GASLIGHTING, DRINKING, SMOKING, R@PE/MENTIONS OF R@PE, Manipulation, FORCED RELATIONSHIP, BLACK MAIL, TOXIC MASCULINITY, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, DRUGS/DRUGGING, NONCON/DUBCON, CURSING (It's Tokyo Revengers 💁), CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!!!, Cannibalism (Yes the real deal and....... That *shivers*), GORE, MURDER, VARIOUS KINKS/FETISHES (I'm kinky and so are they 😉), OOC BEHAVIOR CAUSE WHY TF NOT?, POSSIBLE KNOWLEDGE OF BEING AN ANIME ALREADY (Don't come for me I forgot the term and can't look it up cause Google is stupid), KISAKI TITTY ❤️, READER IS A DENSE SIMP!!!, FINNA BE CRINGY CAUSE I AM IN FACT CRINGE!!

So without further ado~ I present! The first chapter of Stay! Y! Tokyo Revengers various x fem short reader!!

(This banner is by the lovely cafekitsune so please check them out thank you~ ❤️)

CHAPTER 1-

Y/N L/N was a normal girl, living a normal life. She had a job, friends and plenty of responsibilities like any other person. She was currently sitting in front of her computer with a black butler throw blanket on her shoulders, naruto themed booty shorts and a fairytale sports bra that didn't cover as much as needed. She was watching her new favorite anime, Tokyo Revengers!

"Gah!! How can Mikey go from cute to smexy in the blink of an eye?!" She said when said male's face came on her screen. He was one of her favorite and most relatable characters. As the episode ended, Y/N looked at the time on her laptop, only to see it was nearly 4 in the morning and she had work later on.

"Crap...... Well there goes my health...." She mumbled as she closed her laptop. She made her way to the mini fridge in her room and took a monster from it. She turned while opening the can only to find her laptop open. "What the-" A sudden blinding light came from the device, interrupting her sentence. "GAH!! MY EYES!" She yelled dropping the monster on the ground. The light grew brighter and brighter until...... It just stopped.

Once it was completely gone, Y/N opened her eyes, only to see she wasn't in her room but in a parking lot. 'When the hell did I get here?' She thought, surveying her surroundings. She looked down to the ground and saw her monster spilled. “AYO MY MONSTER!!!!” She screamed, not noticing the blonde male looking at her confused.

"Um..... Miss?" A familiar voice said out of nowhere. Y/N flinched as her eyes widened hearing the voice.

'That voice........ It couldn't be...... could it?' Y/N thought as she slowly turned around, coming face to face with the protagonist of her all time favorite anime...... Takemichi Hanagaki. Y/N was at a loss for words, while Takemichi was a blushing idiot. The piss blonde male took in Y/N's appearance.

(H/L) (H/C) hair that was (Hair style for relaxing). Her eyes were a beautiful shade of (E/C), almost looking like the night sky with how her eyes shine. He lowered his gaze and found she wasn't wearing much. The shorts she was wearing looked more like underwear and the bra left little to the imagination. The poor boy blushed profusely and looked away as his blush reached all the way to his ears.

'Woah! What the hell?! Why do I feel my pants getting tighter?! I don't even know this girl's name! Plus I've seen Hina in her underwear and was able to control myself!' Takemichi thought as he stood there awkwardly. He glanced at the beautiful girl and saw she was still staring at him. 'Shit! She's still looking at me! What do I do?! What do I do?!' Takemichi thought, panicking. He couldn't understand why he was acting like this.

The way she looked at him made him feel something....... like he wanted her all to himself. As for Y/N, she stood in front of the man in awe. 'Holy fuckin shit! TAKEMICHI HANAGAKI?!?!?! I can't believe this! He looks animated too, which means he's not 3D! WHICH MEANS I'M REALLY IN TOKYO REVENGERS!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!' Y/N thought while internally freaking out. 'Wait....... I wonder when in the anime I am........'

"U-Um...... Miss? You do realize what you're wearing right?" Takemichi said, causing Y/N to snap out of her trance-like state. She looked down, only to see she was still in her skimpy PJ's. Y/N's eyes widened and tried to cover up when she felt something wrap around her smaller figure. She looked up and saw that Takemichi put his uniform jacket over her shoulders.

'She's so small and cute........ I have to help her.' Takemichi thought as a small amount of blush crept on his face. He loved how she looked in his cloths. Like she was made to wear his stuff.

"U-Um.... Can you tell me where I am... Um?" 'I have to Play dumb for right now until I figure out if this is him from the future.' She thought, nervously. Takemichi was all too excited to give her his name.

"T-Takemichi. Hanagaki Takemichi. And your in Shibuya Japan. What about your name?" He asked, scratching the side of his cheek. 'This feels weird. I'm already going crazy over some girl while I have a pretty girlfriend....'

"Y/N. L/N Y/N. N/N is just fine though." She said as a soft smile spread on her lips. Hina was really lucky in her eyes, having a guy like Takemichi.

'Woah~ Nicknames with a hot chick? Awesome!' Takemichi thought as a small blush spread on his cheeks. Though he was confused as to why no memory of meeting this girl came to mind, Takemichi had an overwhelming need to protect her.

"It's nice to meet you Hanagaki-"

"Takemichi....... Please." He said cutting off her greeting. Y/N nodded with a smile that made Takemichi's heart skip a beat. "S-So um do you live around here?" He asked, awkwardly trying not to look at her out of fear he'll stutter more. Y/N hesitated trying to come up with a plan.

"U-Um....... I-I um...." She stuttered, making the blond in front of her blink in confusion. Finally thinking of something, she thought to kill two birds with one stone. "Hm! I live near Hanma-kun's house. Do....... you know him?" 'If he doesn't then it's before the fight on August third so I'll at least have a time frame to work with.' She watched as the taller male racked his brain.

"No...... I-Is he a...... friend?" He asked, worried he'll lose her already. 'What am I thinking? Why am I getting protective of her already?'

"No. I've seen him here and there. Haven't talked to him much." She lied. Takemichi nodded, hiding his relieved face and sigh he let out. "Well....... I have to go now....." Y/N said and tried to leave but a strong grip wrapped around her wrist.

"Wait!!........" Takemichi yelled, which made the (H/C)ette's eyes widen. "I-I mean um..... How about I walk you home?" He asked, trying to save their conversation. He wanted to know where she lived, but he also didn't want her to leave. ‘Her hand is so soft~’ He cooed in his head. Y/N let out a sigh and looked down in slight disappointment.

"I don't live here....... I'm not exactly..... from here...." She said, making the blue eyed male confused. "Sorry.... But I have to confirm one more thing before I can tell you." Takemichi was needless to say nervous about what she was about to say. Shuffling in his stance the poor man stood awkwardly, waiting for the young beauty to finish her statement. "Do you..... know about time travel?"

Takemichi went stiff. How did she know about that? Was she a time traveler too? Questions rang through Takemichi's head as he tried coming up with a suitable answer.

"I know everything..." She said, making the blond male flinch. Y/N looked in his eyes with soft sincere (E/C) ones as if knowing the pain he's been through, which in a way she had. "I know about Mikey. I know about Naoto, Hina...... I even know about Kisaki and your special ability." She continued while walking up to him. Takemichi stood there shocked and dumbfounded, his thoughts running wild with questions.

"You see," She continued, stopping right in front of him. "I'm..... not from here. I'm from a world where your life is a manga and anime series....." Y/N finished explaining everything as the poor man stood there quietly, trying to process everything he's been told. There was no reason not to believe her. She knew everything….. From his power to the way he “died” in the future. This was all insane to him. Letting out a sigh she finally finished her explanation. "So yeah....... But hey! You saved your girl..... and got ptsd...." She muttered the last part while grinning nervously.

Takemichi was in pure and utter shock. He knew there was something up with her but he wasn't expecting this..... "So..... You don't live next to that Hanma guy?" He asked, making the young girl shake her head. He nodded slowly as a response, still trying to process everything.

"Takemichi...." Y/N spoke up again. Takemichi looked up and saw she was even closer, a determined grin plastered across her face. "If you let me stay with you, I'll help save Hina." Takemichi blushed slightly as he thought for a minute.

'S-She wants to stay with me?......AWE HELL YEAH!!!' He thought before nodding with a determined look. "Alright. It's a deal then." Takemichi took her by the hand and started walking to his apartment. Tho she was a bit scared to see his apartment, Y/N needed a place to stay. It wasn't an option, unless she wanted to live under a bridge like the gremlin she is.

“S-So…..” Takemichi started, “I…. Saved Hina?” He asked. If he was being honest with himself…… he didn't really care anymore… Can't exactly say that out loud but…. ‘Wait…. What if Hina tries to take her away from me? No… no that won't happen…. Right?’ He thought but snapped out of it when a sudden loud clap rang through his ears.

“Are you even listening to me Michi?” Y/N said with a worried look. Takemichi flinched but nodded, not really listening. Y/N deadpanned. ‘He wasn't listening at all…..’ With a sigh, she decided to start over. “Yeah. You saved Hina…… you actually saved her twice….. Technically three times but…. She wasn't the only one that needed to be saved.” She confessed to him, making him look at her.

“Huh? What do you mean?” He asked, concerned and confused. Y/N just shook her head, letting him know she'll tell him later and he nodded.

Takemichi closed the door to his apartment and took his shoes off following the (H/C)ette to the living room. “Wow Michi. I'm surprised it's so clean.” She said, bluntly. Takemichi sweatdropped.

“Was it not in the anime?” Y/N shook her head at his question. This made Takemichi cringe slightly. The thought of having a dirty apartment made his skin crawl. “A-Anyway… this is a one bedroom apartment so…. I can take the couch if ya want-”

“No way! This is your home! I'm the freeloader staying here. I'll take the couch.” She said as she continued to snoop. Takemichi sighed but smiled.

“We can always….. share?” He said, leaning against the wall next to her. Y/N side-eyed the blonde next to her.

“Right…… and what would Hinata think?” She said making Takemichi flinch slightly.

“R-Right….” He said with a sweatdrop. “Still. I wouldn't feel right leaving you on the couch or the floor. That's not my style.” Y/N smiled at this and nodded.

“Hai. We can share then.” She said causing the blonde to perk up. A grin spread across his face as his eyes shined.

“I promise I won't be weird! You won't regret it!” He said, knowing full well it was a lie. Something about this girl in his kitchen, that just dropped in his life out of nowhere, it made him feel things. Way different from how he felt about Hinata Tachibana. Maybe it was the fact they shared a similar ability. Or he could finally talk to someone about his but whatever it was, this girl had him wrapped around her pretty little finger. He watched Y/N move gracefully through the kitchen as if she was made for his home and his home alone.

‘Shes so pretty in the kitchen. I wonder…..’ A sudden image of Y/N pregnant made it's way to his mind. He shook his head, getting rid of the nasty thoughts he was having. ‘What the hell is wrong with me?! I just met her!’

“Ne ne. Can you pass me the Milk?” Y/N said getting his attention. Takemichi nodded and grabbed the milk from the fridge.

“W-What are you making?” He asked peering over her shoulder.

“Alfredo pasta with homemade sauce. I'm sure your used to more Japanese cuisine so I thought to give you something else.” She said shocking the blue eyed male.

“Sugoi. You know how to cook that?” Y/N nodded while she stirred.

“I know how to cook all kinds of stuff. I had a restaurant/bakery back in my world so……” She trailed off while puckering her lips.

After dinner, Y/N got changed in one of Takemichi’s shirts and a pair of his boxers for underwear. It was comforting knowing (thinking) he won't do anything. She and Takemichi laid in bed and just stared at the ceiling.

“So….. I save everyone…..” Takemichi said still trying to process everything. Y/N hummed in confirmation. “And….. who's everyone?” This made the girl sit up in shock.

“E-Eh?! What do you mean?! Have you not met Mikey and Draken yet!?”

“Mikey and who? It's Mikey and Tetta Kisaki I need to meet…” This changed everything for Y/N. She was starting off in the second episode. She sighed and laid back down, a headache forming in her temple.

“Ugh…. Nevermind. I'll tell you in the morning….” She said and with that, the two went to bed. Takemichi holding her tight in his arms and snuggling into her neck.

Hey!! Hope you liked this first chapter! This is your lovely author Azami Tetsuya signing off!! *Bows* Bai Bai!!!~

#tokyo revengers #hanagaki takemichi #x reader #tokyo revengers yandere #yandere #tokyo revengers takemichi #mikey sano #draken #tokyo revengers hanma #tokyo revengers mikey #yandere tokyo revengers

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phedbeauty · 5 months

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The Bear Reddit Is Cringe

I was recently checking my Reddit and The Bear subreddit has not gotten any better. I hadn't been on there in months but curiousity got the better of me. It is still full of haters. They are having no parts of SydCarmy and basically attack you if you try to discuss it in any way.

There was one person who is basically hanging their basis for a non-romantic SydCarmy relationship on what the actors have said in interviews. I read those interviews and honestly what they say about their character dynamics doesn't wholly make sense. Most particulary what Ayo says:

"I don't personally think there's anything romantic there!" Edebiri continued. "I don't think the show is a sexual one. These people don't have ... very robust personal lives. They're devoted to their jobs. If anything happened between Sydney and Carmy, nobody would be happy. It would be disappointing and jarring and weird. I don't think people actually want that."

I hear her, but also what she's saying just really makes no sense. I think she's downplaying the nature of their relationship, almost in a cynical way. You know. "Disappointing, jarring, and weird?" To who?? Who are these people that she's speaking of that would not be happy, apart from the small cell of anti-sydcarmy's?

I think someone has already discussed this in a post on here, but I just wanted to add my two cents on it. The more I read those interviews, the more I see a disconnect from what they're saying and what's actually portrayed in the show, that's why I can't really take it seriously what the actors say. Like, I'm honestly trying to watch objectively but there's some romantic innuendo there. There's tension there. Not sexual, let me be clear about that. I did not read anything sexual between them, on that part she's right. But romantic? Subtly.

This is basically what I was trying to tell the person on Reddit. That and that it's too early to really know where the showrunners are taking these characters, but people are hooked. This is such a really great cast and show. It's delicious and we're eating it up. Come on!

I mean, Ayo moved her awards entries from Supporting Actress to Lead Actress for S2. Why? Her character definitely had an impact this season and we love her. That's why.

Reddit can kick rocks.

Sorry for this sort of rant. Not really a rant I guess, just a discussion I was trying to have on a post on Reddit but couldn't.

Our delusions are in the hands of the showrunners. Let's see what S3 brings. I'm definitely watching for the food if nothing else. 🤣🤣

#sydcarmy #the bear #the bear reddit #reddit #carmy x sydney #the bear season 2 #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #thebear #the bear meta

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desired-deity · 10 months

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Because I Love Him

KENJI x Gn! READER

Genre: Fluffy fluff

Warning: A few swears. That’s it 👍

Summary: You and Kenji decided to play a horror game and let’s just say…it ended out with screams (and laughs)

A/N: Ah! Another Kenji post after a few!! Also, the Krisis poll is up until July 13th! Go and vote on the poll now!!💜

“KENJI GO— KENJI- GO BITCH! AAAAAAA” You screamed so loud that you might get a noise complaint from your neighbors. You were known for doing videos with Kenji, most of them being horror just for the fun of it.

“DID YOU DIE?? Y/N?! DID YOU FUCKING DIE- AAAAAAAA!!! BITCH GET AWAY FROM ME HOLY SHIT- Y/N!” Kenji yelled for you but you didn’t answer to try and scare him. “Y-Y/n…you are here right?” He said, fake crying but you just decided to drop it and blame it on chat.

“I’m sorry Kenji! My chat told me to do it!” You lied, little did you know while you were talking to Kenji, your chat went wild.

Chat:

KKLizzy: uhm. WHAT

BlankSpace: AYO! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

ThatSwifty: THEY’RE LYING KENJI! WHY YOU PUTTING THIS ON US Y/N?!?!?!

You looked at chat and your avatar’s eyes widened as yours did too. “I don’t know what you all are talking about chat! It was you!”

A super chat came in:

Kenji

$150.00

Wow, You blamed it on chat. How could you

“OKAY KENJI OKAY I GET IT! But thank you for the super chat.” You said laughing at the act Kenji did, you looked at chat again.

Chat:

ItTakes4: LMFAOOOOO

haienhakanen: HAHAHA KENJI LOOKIN AFTER US

ThatSwifty: LETS GO KENJIII!

KKLizzy: KENJI KENJI KENJI!

You smiled with soft eyes. This is the person that had your back. The person that makes you happy. And you started to cry, sniffling and wiping your eyes. Kenji’s avatar stiffened and his eyes went wide. He didn’t know what to say.

Chat:

KKLizzy: Y/n?

Zara_Zamura: Hey hey, Y/n, are you okay?

FNaFLover: Y/n??? What’s wrong???

“It’s nothing…just. I’m happy that you all enjoy this and I’m happy that you all like me and Kenji just joking around and…sniff sniff…just let us be, us. I’m so happy that I have made it here and that you all make this environment here enjoyable and you all make me feel loved. Thank you all so much.” You said. Your chat could hear the love and happiness in your voice. They were there for you and you were there for them.

“Thank you all. You too Kenji. You got me here in the first place. You got me to where I am today. So chat, go show love to Kenji. Please, I beg of you.” You said, your avatar looked at the camera while Kenji was just staring in shock. You smiled and decided to say something else.

“Because I love him.”

Maybe a part 2????

~Love ZZ!💜

#x y/n #x reader #kenji x y/n #kenji x reader #sun kenji x reader #sunkenji #ZZ Writes!

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leajdh · 5 months

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Gold rush

Chapter four: Ayo, fuck this. Are we dating? Are we fucking? Are we best friends? Are we something in between that? I wish we never fucked, and I mean that. But not really..

He was just a few more steps away from becoming a living legend. Already praised by the media as the honored one, he made a grave mistake which not only put his Ice Hockey career on hold, it disappointed even his most loyal fans so much so that his reputation sank to an all-time low.

Then he meets you; a retired figure skating champion who is now trying to find her purpose in life after her triumphs, all while still being loved and cherished by the media and public likewise.

Satoru Gojo sees his chance to not only get back unto the rink, but also to regain his former popularity.

But he soon realizes it will be a lot harder to get on your good side, because he's everything you despise combined into one person.

Will you give him a second chance and allow him to redeem himself, or is this going to be the match for your life time?

Gojo Satoru x reader (first person narrator)

Ice Hockey AU

FAKE DATING TROPE

Enemies to lovers

English isn't my first language, so expect some grammar errors

18+!!

LINK TO ALL CHAPTERS:

Against all odds, everything is going smoothly.

It’s only been two days since the picture was posted on my instagram, so I shouldn’t crow too soon, but how can I not when the wildcard Satoru Gojo follows all my rules without any objections?

It’s just too good to be true, but it is true.

At least for now.

We haven’t really started yet with creating a narrative. So far we just handled everything between each other. I sent him a list of rules that he agreed on and we both signed a contract. Our contract likewise our fake relationship needed an expiration date, so we came up with 21 days after his first game at the Stanley cup.

With that we make sure that people don’t suspect us from faking the relationship. We also decided the reason why we will break up is the long distance, something like; My life and home is in Idaho and his life and career is in New York City. I know, not romantic at all, but realistic.

Coming to my rules, they are simple but strict.

Satoru isn’t allowed to post anything without asking me beforehand (exceptions are campaign pictures and videos).

The reason for this rule is simple. I don’t trust Satoru to not post anything stupid that will ruin the narrative I’m going for. With the picture of his head on my thigh, he set a tone for our relationship from which I want to break away. Everything will be family friendly from now on. A lovestory Disney would want to cinematize.

This rule also includes no talking to the media unless his team (which I am part of) approves.

2. Decluttering his social media.

Initially I thought I had to do much more. Suguru told me after the crash Satorus PR-team deleted every party picture or video. It didn’t matter if alcohol was in the frame or not. All this is gone. However, I decluttered even more. Yesterday I started my research on the people Satoru follows. Without mercy I deleted everyone I thought wasn't good for his image to be associated with. The only problematic one I didn’t unfollow is one of his teammates. Toji Fushiguro.

Apparently a welcome visitor at casinos and race tracks. Bad enough for me already, but the cherry on top are the allegations from older women that, before he became a pro ice hockey player, he used to scam them for money and housing.

But I looked more into it and I would rather say these old hags did not really get scammed. More so they were his sugar mamas and now they are mad at him for leaving them. Hence there was never a criminal prosecution.

The biggest problem with Satorus social media are all the girls he follows.

With a lot of them, he publicly hooked up. All gorgeous women; either models, singers or actresses. I gulped at that and thought on how to handle it. My initial thought was to simply not do anything. Just let them follow each other. I don’t want to come across as the girlfriend who is super jealous and if the media figures out (which they will) that Satoru unfollowed all his former liaisons, it will be a headline and I will be the villain.

But this issue clashes with another rule.

3. For the entirety of our fake relationship neither him nor me are allowed to engage in any romantic or sexual relationship with another person. Doesn’t matter if it is happening in real-life or just online. Nothing that can cause any fanfare.

Personally I do not think it will be a problem for me but I have less (a lot less) faith in Satoru. He is known for his playboy lifestyle, so I was generally surprised as he agreed so easily to this rule. Even as I wanted to include a paragraph in our contract that I am given the honor to cut his penis of if he cheats.

Sadly Ichiji told me such a paragraph isn’t legally allowed.

It would have definitely strengthened my trust.

Back to rule 2. I therefore just unfollowed some of them. Some had been canceled before for actually serious stuff like internet scams or selling their fans overpriced junk. As soon as I saw a post with CODE: whateverhernameis20 I unfollowed.

4. I created an excel list with amazing athletes, especially female ice hockey players for him to follow. As an athlete himself, he needs to be more supportive and generally show more interest in what is going on in the sports world.

On different dates he will follow certain athletes so it doesn’t look suspicious that he randomly decides to follow a ton of them. Everything in nibbles.

Saving his reputation is a climb not a shortcut.

5. He attends AA meetings each week. For this rule I was given an annoyed snort from Satoru but he did not say anything after I looked daggers at him. I will drive him there and pick him up, no excuses.

Five rules but the most important one isn’t for him. It is for myself.

I need to try to trust him.

Trusting someone isn’t easy, especially after everything he did to me. But I have to overcome my issues with him to make this work.

In spite of everything, I want him to be loved by his fans again. I want the best for him.

Only when he succeeds will I be able to make peace with myself and move on.

Every therapist would shake their head and rip out their hair at this statement but I never learned how to correctly get over things and move on. All I know are challenges and they made me move forward, so I will handle this my way. The way even Suguru thinks would suit me the best.

Today I am late as I run down the tribune in my boots. Satoru is already training, skating sideways in zigzag lines as Mei Mei screams instructions at him.

Stumbling down the stairs I notice Suguru, who’s intensely watching the training. With a huff I fall next to him on the bench. “Sorry, I’m late but I couldn’t find the pink stockings off the set. I hope white is fine too”, I breathe as I tie my white skates on. Suguru turns his head to the side and watches me, blinking a few times.

As for today, we will take the first official photo of Satoru and I together. Essentially confirming our relationship. So far everything is just rumors, neither of us has confirmed anything. With this picture we will officially start the fake dating storyline.

“White’s his favorite color and it suits you, you look really pretty”, his eyes are glued to my face and he smiles. Before I have the chance to turn red, Mei Meis' scream startles me.

“You’re late!”

I look at her as she is now turned towards me. Apologetic, I put my hands up and Suguru snickers beside me.

“How did your ears survive her screaming all those years?”, Suguru asks me as I finish tying my skates. I put a hand behind my ear and joke: “What did you say?”

He laughs lightly again and I am happy about his reaction.

Standing up I stretch a bit before I go on the ice. Upon hearing no more skates scratching the ice, I look at the rink and see Satoru staring at me, which sends a shiver down my spine.

Since the day I agreed on being his fake girlfriend I have had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him, hell, even being near him makes me unbelievably nervous.

Worst of all, I can’t tell why. I should actually be more relaxed around him since we buried our conflict and work together now, but as soon as I feel his freaky blue eyes on me, I feel like a deer in the headlights.

Suguru softly strokes his index finger over my hip bone. I quickly turn my head towards him.

“Hey, are you alright?”, he asks and looks at me with a frown. His glances never make me nervous. When he looks at me, it feels nice and warm. Meanwhile Satorus peeks make me feel vulnerable like he can see right through me.

All flaws, all my thoughts, open for him to see and mock. His stare gives me a weird sense of self doubt.

I shake the thought off.

“Just feeling a bit fussy”, I sigh: “You know, this is all really weird.”

“I know”, he grins: “but it will all work out, so no need to worry.” I wish I could be as much of an optimist as Suguru. He gets up too and I notice the significant height difference between us. Even with my skates on he is taller than me. Half a head shorter than Satoru, but Satorus is also freakishly tall.

“You are going on the ice too?”, I point at Sugurus' feet which are in skates.

“Somebody has to take the pictures”, he responds.

“Right”, I reply with a neutral smile but internally I am pouting and stomping my feet.

This makes everything even harder. Playing all lovey-dovey with Satoru will be hard enough, but now having Suguru focus on all the details and probably giving pointers.

I should have stayed in bed.

We walk down to the rink entry. I throw the blade protectors to the side and step on the ice, gliding over it with ease. I stop next to Satoru, whose entire focus is on me.

“Good to see you, princess. Looking like there was no pea under your mattress”, he grins and I twist my mouth in confusion.

“The princess and the pea. Did your dad never read you fairytales?”

He knows the answer to that, but he still likes to get a rise out of me.

“I know the fairytale but your comment still makes no sense.”

He skates closer to me and I focus on his nose, so it at least looks like I am looking in his eyes.

“It’s no fun explaining it.”

“No one is forcing you.”

“Well, maybe there was no pea under your mattress but you definitely stood up with the wrong foot.”

I roll my eyes and skate a bit backwards.

“It is my way to say that you look well rested.”

“Thank you?”, I frown, unsure what well rested means. A weird compliment? A strange gag? Whatever it is, nothing about us screams boyfriend and girlfriend.

“And you look well exhausted.”

His hair is flat on his scalp, single pieces of hair glued to his sweaty forehead. He has reddish cheeks and sweat drops travel down his neck to his covered collarbone. He breathes still a bit heavy, the hot air he puffs out turning white due to the temperature.

I curse myself for finding him incredibly hot at this stage.

Why does he have to look hot all the time?

This is unnatural!

“I’ve been here since 7am while you probably had some sweet dream about me”, he grins again, well not again. He is grinning at me the entire time.

“You mean about your sponsors. Burberry wants inclusive rights for my public outfits, making me an ambassador.”

“No need to thank me.”

“I am not thanking you, I will thank you once Dior comes through. Checked clothes do not really suit me.”

He chuckles: “Quite picky.”

“Are you really surprised?”

“Not at all.”

I foolishly look in his eyes and feel that shiver again. Turning my head instantly, I gulp and look for Suguru. He’s talking with Mei Mei, both of them stepping on the ice as well. As they glide towards us, I feel strong arms slinging around my shoulders from behind, holding me into place so I do not slither away. Satoru places his sharp chin on my head and exhales. I’m as frozen as the ice under my feet.

“I know women hate this more than anything, but smile. We are in love or have you forgotten?”

He is right, but how can I smile at him if I can't even look in his eyes. This is going to be a disaster.

“You’re messing up my hair”, is all I can mutter.

He inhales and I feel his broad chest extend against my back. His body is a living heater in this cold hall.

Warmth spreads through my entire body, especially in places I should not feel hot for him.

“Nonsense, you look like an angel”, his chin moves from my head to my shoulder as he leans more forward, his arms still around me.

“Have I ever told you how much your little skirts turn me on?”

My breath is stuck in my throat, even if I had something on my mind to return, I physically couldn’t.

“Well, have I?”

Why does he have to torture me? I shake my head, still unable to move much less talk.

He huffs disappointed. “I would prefer if you used your words, but I will teach you another time.”

He instantly lets go of me and I can barely stand on my wobbly legs, only now noticing that he held me really secure. Before he skates past me towards Suguru and Mei Mei, who are only a few feet away now, he pinches my left butt cheek.

“Now smile, we are in love, don’t forget it”, without giving me a second look, but I know he is grinning like the devil himself.

I will kill him.

“Are you ready?”, Mei Mei asks me. With a dry mouth and still in a state of shock I nod.

I’m the furthest away from being ready.

After what felt like hours, we still did not manage to take a good picture. We tried different poses, tried to fake spontaneous pictures and even left the rink to take some pictures on the tribune. I cross my arms over my chest and try to remain positive. Just one good picture and I can get away from him.

Get a grip!

The worst thing is, Satoru is a natural talent. He looks perfect on every photo, while I look- “It looks like you just met a fan!”, Mei Mei tells me: “You know you can look at him, right?” Why does everyone have to torture me? As if this entire situation isn’t awkward and embarrassing enough.

I sigh loudly and throw my hands up in frustration. “I’m trying”, I mutter. I can’t even look in his eyes for a second, before turning my face away and becoming a nervous wreck.

“Then stop with this customer-service-smile!”, Mei Mei spits back. She isn’t known for having patience.

“I don’t know, each pose seems way too unnatural. I don’t like how the pictures turn out”, even if I had been able to look at Satoru all lovey-dovey, the pictures wouldn’t give me the vibe I want.

“Usually you aren’t being that difficult”, she adds and I want to strangle her.

Satoru says nothing, just leaning on the edge of the rink, waiting for instructions. He hasn’t tried anything funny, but his gaze never leaves me and I am too well aware of that.

I shake the goosebumps off.

“I just don’t like it…”, I mumble and Mei Meis nose flares. I can tell she is angry with my behavior.

Before the situation can escalate, Suguru suggests: “How about we try it again tomorrow with a new approach? It has no value to try and force it now, besides Satoru has a massage appointment in thirty minutes.”

I don’t want another try, I want to get this over with, but Suguru is right, as always. Whatever block I have in my mind, it is my problem and I need to fix it. I chew on nothing and act as nonchalant as possible.

“Okay fine, tomorrow.”, I hum and want to set off, just getting out of the rink and home. But Suguru stops me just as I am about to leave the ice. “Hey, just so you know, you did well. This”, he swirls his index finger in a circle “isn’t easy. It takes time to get used to each other.”

He is so nice. I sometimes hate him for it.

“But Satoru and you will be a great team, I can feel it”, he cracks a crooked smile at me and I smile back.

“That’s the smile I wanted!”, Mei Mei screams over and I instantly lose it, looking back and forth between her and Suguru, whose smile turns softer.

“I will see you tomorrow”, I step off the rink and wave good-bye to Mei Mei and ignore Satorus gaze again.

I’m such a coward.

With a groan I fall on the couch next to Utahime, who is eating soup and watches TV. She turns down the volume and pats my head.

“From your reaction I guess it didn’t go well.”

I just groan more into the soft cushion of the couch.

“What happened? Do I need to kill him? You know I would do it.”

Utahime was against this entire fake relationship. She can’t stand Satoru, thinking the same things as me. He’s arrogant, self-centered and reckless. And his good looks do nothing for her.

I wish I was immune to it too.

“No, not he is the problem. I am!”, I flip over on my back and look up at her: “I get so uptight and irritable when I am around him. I don’t know how to explain it and it affects the photos.”

She frowns.

“You know what this sounds like?”, then she gives me a small grin. “Stop, no, it isn’t like that at all.” And it really isn’t.

The more I think about it, the more it is clear that everything is connected to the first day we met. Hell, we nearly had sex in my car and afterwards we wanted to blackmail each other. Not the best way to start a fake relationship, but I can’t tell her. Nobody knows about any of this and I am just glad no one asked how Satoru even got a picture of his head on my thigh. I’m a good liar but I have no tale for this one.

“So what is it then?”

“I don’t know”, I sob in my hands. Hime just keeps on patting my hair.

“You can always quit, right?”

Another slight fabrication I told her, so she wouldn’t get too concerned. Contractually I’m bound to Satoru until our end date.

“Yes, but I don’t want to”, I sigh: “I just need to get a grip.” Suguru is right, it takes time to adjust to the entire case.

I managed tougher challenges.

I can do it.

“And rethink this entire photoshoot. It looked like we were high schoolers going to our first prom and my parents forced us to take pictures. Maybe we should just hire paparazzi, who take the first picture of us together on a date or whatever”, I sigh, frustrated with myself.

She still pats my head and slurps her soup, just allowing me to let my mind figure out something on its own.

“Or maybe we should just let our PR teams make it official and never post a picture. No, that’s not good either”, I grunt some more and sit up. Instead of answering me, Hime just holds a full spoon under my nose, not saying a word. I put it in my mouth and eat. She knows me. I don’t want any advice, I just want to think out loud.

In the end I know I will find a solution. I always do.

And if not, I still have Suguru, who seems like the true mastermind of solutions.

He will get me.

I can count on him.

I spend the rest of the day running errands and buying myself a new phone using one of Satorus cards.

He insisted on giving me one. Not just to buy a new phone (it was his fault I threw my old one against the wall, obviously), but also for other stuff I want. I told him I don’t want his money, which he didn’t understand. Why else would I have agreed on being his fake girlfriend?

I didn’t have the guts to tell him everything Suguru and I had discussed and my five reasons, so I told him I have my own reasoning and it actually isn’t his business.

While I said that, I got nervous again and couldn’t look at him, crossing my arms to at least look a bit confident.

However, as I mentioned before he can see right through me and I swear to God he stared me down without saying a single word, just to make me more nervous until I had no other choice than to grab the card out of his hand and declare defeat by accepting it.

But this arrangement has nothing to do with money. I’m not buyable. I do this to grow as a person.

And for a new phone (again, his fault I broke it).

After that I will put his card away and never touch it again. I do not want to be in his debt in any kind of way.

It is better if he owes me something, which he does. Just by me agreeing to help him, he is in my debt and I would like to keep it that way.

If he is on the edge of messing up, I can guilt trip him. If he is even really capable of feeling guilt.

At least towards me.

I still don’t get him. How he feels towards me is an enigma.

Does he like me? Ha, good joke. No, why should he? All we did so far was playing with one another. He wants a fake relationship with me because I’m a goody two-shoes in the public eye, not particularly because he likes me.

Does he hate me? Also no, I would say. I don’t hate him. If I was, I wouldn’t be able to do this and so would he.

That’s why my guess is he accepts me but doesn’t particularly like nor dislike me. Just what I feel for him.

Yeah, because whatever I feel automatically applies to him.

Nevertheless what I definitely know is that I am on high alert around him and he fucking knows it and uses it against me. Again a game he plays with me. Something to keep him entertained.

Maybe that’s what he feels towards me. He sees me as a little plaything to help him through the boring time in recovery.

So much for trying to trust him. Not even in my own weird scenarios do I give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn’t a sadistic ass.

Does he really need me to save his career or is it all a charade?

I can’t get this bile of a thought out of my head. He talked too much about my father, who is the coach of his archenemy team. I have the eerie feeling it is all connected to him and Satoru is lying to me. Lying that it has nothing to do with my father.

In the end I have to accept I’m not a special snowflake like Suguru made me seem like in our conversation. Satoru could have chosen hundreds of other girls with a similar reputation as mine without the ties to one of his archenemies.

And again, so much for trying to trust him.

Trust takes time, especially after everything Satoru and I have been through. He probably doesn’t trust me either.

Maybe in the long run I am in the wrong and Satoru has no interior motives, but as long as I am not a hundred percent certain, I will have my doubts.

Keep your fake boyfriend close, but your enemy closer, and Satoru is both for me.

After all I didn’t not hear the final whistle. The match is still on and so far we have the same score.

I fall in my bed and set up my new phone, putting in my old sim card and working through all my notifications I got over the last few days.

It is around 11pm when I suddenly get a text message. I was just looking through pinterest for some inspo pictures for tomorrow's photoshoot as a message pops up: Come over.

I instantly know it is Satorus number. Who else would want to talk to me?

Suguru maybe, but he would word it differently, even better call me.

No, I know it’s Satoru.

For a second I ask myself how he knows I have a new phone but he probably can see the debiting of his card on an app or something.

Why?, I plainly wrote him back after a few minutes of contemplating.

I fucked up, I get back and my heart stops for a second.

Fucked up? What?

This could mean a thousand things.

Satoru, what did you do?, I type faster than I have anticipated.

We didn’t even announce our fake relationship and he already messed up!

Fuck against all odds, I should have known a wildcard like him has no chance of bettering himself.

I go from shocked to angry as he simply answers me: Just come over and I will explain.

He doesn’t need to repeat it another time. I am on my feet in an instant, changing into one of my training skirts and pulling my snow boots on to keep my legs warm. I’m in too much of a hassle to even think about putting tights on. I would only rip them.

How could he manage to mess up already?

I stomp outside and use my phone light to navigate to the resort. It is cold but my anger keeps me warm as I sprint up the stairs onto the third floor. From Utahime I already know Satoru stays in room 301 so I don’t even ask him over text as I knock softly on his door. I’m on the edge of kicking it in, however I don’t want to disturb Shoko, Suguru and Ichiji, who are staying on this floor too.

After a few seconds Satoru opens the door and without an invitation I step in.

“What did you do?”, I walked inside his room, leaning at a wall across his bed and twitching my right leg nervously, waiting for him to finally talk.

But as always he takes his time, closing the door quietly and entering the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed with wide legs. His hair is damp. My guess is he must have showered a few minutes ago. He wears a compress shirt, which must have been a pain to put on after having freshly showered.

I try to only conduct that thought.

Not how unbelievable tight it fits around his muscles and flexes perfectly with every move he makes. Focusing on his pants doesn’t work either.

He wears grey sweatpants. That’s all I have to say.

If I didn’t know any better, I would say he does it to get a rise out of me. Nothing but entertainment for him.

I will not give him this victory. I cross my arms and for the first time in forever I manage to look in his eyes.

Anger wins over nervosity.

“I fucked up”, he just repeats what he told me over text.

I roll my eyes. “For fucks sake, what did you do?”, I want an answer now. No more beating around the bushes. A clear answer.

“I fucked up by believing in you”, his eyes wander from my exposed thighs to my eyes, looking sharp and challenging in a way.

“Eh?”, I mutter and frown, being flabbergasted. He just leans back on his elbows and stares at me. My anger leaves and my confusion mixes with the overall nervosity I feel when I am with him. I instantly can’t keep up the eye contact and look elsewhere. My mind starts to race. I can’t think of a reason why he should not believe in me.

I mean, yeah my doubts about him are good reasons but he doesn’t know about my inner thoughts.

Right?

Yes, right. He is not a mindreader, even though when he looks at me in this certain way I feel like he is.

I hate his piercing blue eyes. They freak me out so much. Of course I think he can read my mind. His type of eye color would be given to supernatural beings in movies. Beings able to read minds.

He laughs deeply and cuts me instantly out of my thoughts. I dare to look at him again. His focus is still completely on me and I clasp my arms firmer around me to calm myself down.

“I believed you would be able to pull this fake relationship off, but you can’t even look at me.”

He noticed.

Of course he did.

Fuck.

I take a deep breath and act nonchalant, giving him a skittish smile.

“You called me over in the middle of the night to tell me that? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am. So what’s your problem?”, he counters.

“I have none”, I lie.

“Lie”, he immediately fires back.

“I was just frustrated with the whole thing, like come on. The photos looked so fabricated in the worst way.”

“Because they are”, he blurts and tilts his head to the side, analyzing me. God, I hate his glance on me.

“Duh, Sherlock, but it shouldn’t look like it”, I huff and turn my head to the side.

He holds himself more up from the bed and grins: “Well, and aren’t people in love supposed to be able to look at each other?”

I have no answer for that. I’m caught in a dilemma, again. He knows exactly how to get me and he enjoys it.

“So I will ask again, what’s your problem?”

He won’t let go of this theme until I answer him and too bad he seems to be able to read through all my lies.

I contemplate on trying another lie or just sprint out of his room, which would probably be easier than feeding him another fabrication.

However I can’t run away from him or lie my way through this fake relationship.

In the end I agreed on our deal and talking openly about my struggles is hard and even embarrassing, especially in front of Satoru, but I would rather want him to see me as an emotional fool than a wimp.

And I would be damned to be the one quitting this deal.

Letting him win, no.

Even when this shouldn’t be a competition, I can’t stop seeing everything between us as a spiel. Surely I need to accept the rules have changed and now we are playing as a unit and if I go against him, it will bite me in the ass as well.

Granted, I still don’t trust him and probably never fully will, but I need to be able to communicate with him.

“You”, I answer quickly and give him a side-eye. That’s all I can muster.

“Me?”

“You”, I say again without a further explanation.

“Care to elaborate”

Not really, but I have to. I lean against the wall and I am thankful for the dime light in this room. It’s just illuminated by the bedside lamp and the moonlight outside the window.

“Just everything”, I let it slip out and finally decided to be honest: “in the matter of a few hours we went from wanting to blackmail each other to faking a relationship. We lied, argued and I threw your lunch at you. We nearly even-”, I stop but Satoru ends my sentence: “fucked.”

“Correct.”, I bite my lip: “And I could ignore all this and try my best to move on, but you keep looking at me in a way that makes my skin crawl.”

I wanted to add his teasing words and touches too, but then I would have to admit this affects me and for now telling him I have a problem with the way he looks at me is enough to confess.

Small steps.

“I look at you like I look at everyone else”, he sits straight on the bed and has his arms crossed too. I don’t believe him, but he’s more stubborn than me. If he doesn’t admit it on his own, he will never, even when I would call him out on his bullshit.

If he doesn’t want to be honest, I will be dishonest too.

“Good, maybe I just have a general problem with your eyes.”

“My eyes are the problem now?”

“Yeah, your freaky blue eyes.”

He laughs deeply again and his white teeth beam in the light moonshine.

“This is a first one. People normally find my eyes quite beautiful.”

They are.

In a strange way.

But I would never tell him.

His intensely colored eyes aren’t the actual problem. I know it, he knows it. It is the way he looks at me with them. It would freak me out with everyone, but his special eyes make it even harder on me.

“Okay, got it”, he smoothly gets on his feet and walks over to a shelf. Rummaging in the dark through a section he pulls out a sweat headband. I watch him curiously as he slides it over his forehead and over his eyes.

“Problem solved.”

I start to laugh in disbelief.

“This doesn’t solve anything, Satoru. You can’t forever walk around blindfolded.”

He shakes his head and stands tall, looking in my direction.

“Not forever, just until you are comfortable around me”, he says and for whatever reason he actually seems serious.

“This is so stupid”, I mutter and get my full weight back on my legs, no longer leaning against the wall but my arms are still crossed and the frown never leaves my face.

“Stupid is that my girlfriend can’t even look in my eyes without getting flustered.”

“I’m not getting flustered.”

“Sure”, he buzzes and I pucker my lips at that.

He is right, but I would never tell him.

I hate it when he is right. Which he sadly often is.

“Are you looking at me?”, he asks as he steps towards his bed with confidence and sits down again. Weirdly enough he is good at being blindfolded.

“Right at your blindfold”, I answer and pronto earn a smirk from him.

“Good girl, we are making progress.”

I snort at his comment and tap my foot on the floor.

“What now?”, I ask and curse myself for getting a heat flush in my cheeks.

Satoru pats on the spot next to him on his bed. I do him the favor and sit down, his head immediately turning towards me as my weight dents the mattress. “Personally I would suggest that you let me fuck this issue out of your brain.”

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady.”

“How did you know?”, I look at the sweatband. It is a thick material that completely covers his eyes. No way he can see me.

“I just know you”, he grins from ear to ear.

“Creep”, this comment even earned me a wider smile from him.

“Yeah, your suggestion is not happening”, I quickly add before he continues his shenanigans.

A big pout appears on his face, which gains him another eye roll from my side. For him to even suggest this out of funsies is moronic.

But what am I even expecting, he literally just blindfolded himself.

Stupid.

Wait.

I sit next to him and look in his face without getting nervous. It works? Weirdly enough.

God, I am pathetic. I’m really getting nervous from his stares. How did I ever win Gold medals when just his eyes make me uncomfortable? I had millions of eyes on me and it never bothered me.

I need to get a grip. Now.

“No, we will do something I never do when I am in bed with a woman”, he leans slightly forward into my space.

“Talk about ourselves and all this other stuff. That’s what you ladies like to do, right?”, another smirk.

“A creep and a sexist too”, this time I didn't roll my eyes. Satoru laughs heavily and lets his back fall flat onto the mattress. His arms over his head as he continues to chuckle with his shirt rolled up, exposing his lower stomach, which moves with his laughter. With all my willpower I maintain myself from looking more downwards.

Damn, these grey sweatpants. They should be illegal.

I would rather look into his eyes now than seeing this. This sight doesn’t just leave me nervous, it makes me think of the night in my car as I nearly said ‘fuck it’ and would have given in to him.

Regret is a cruel thing, especially when I see how everything after that night has turned out. Nevertheless having sex with him wouldn’t have solved anything.

Well, maybe I would be able to look into his eyes or let’s be real, I would be even more nervous around him.

“What’s your favorite color?”, he asks out of nowhere.

“Why?”, I ask instead.

“We are supposed to be a couple and barely know about each other”, he extends his arm and snips with his finger against my forehead: “and hopefully knowing me will help you be more comfortable around me. We are in love after all.”

I rub the spot on my forehead he managed to brush and wonder again how he was able to do that with the blindfold on. After a while I answered him, telling him my favorite color. He tells me his too, but I already know it. Suguru mentioned it today.

We start to talk. First about mundane things like favorite food and seasons, but we soon drift more down into past stories and our general life. Satoru lives in a penthouse on the Upper East Side, and as he told me the price for it, I nearly fainted. He has no siblings and comes from a family of real estate and financial moguls. They weren’t happy with his choice to become a professional Ice Hockey player but Satoru doesn’t care what they think. He never let them dictate his life.

Unlike me who was put into skates the moment I learned to walk. I envy his carefree nature. The entire time we talked he was always positive, witty and completely pleased with himself, like he never regretted one thing in his life. He laughs at his own jokes before he even utters one word and he is quick with his remarks.

He can keep up with me, which is something I appreciate in a person. Do I still think he is arrogant, self-centered and reckless? Yes, but I can see why.

If I had his life and success I would probably behave the same way. You reap what you sow and Satoru was born to be a living victory. Our conversation made me understand him a tad more.

After a while of talking, I lie down next to him, looking at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry for being difficult. I thought it would be easier for me”, I confess and feel him move closer next to me. His head turns and even with the blindfold on I can feel his glare on me. Slowly he spins in my direction and opens his arms. Instead of giving him the hug he seems to ask for, I only frown.

“Stop frowning and come here.”

How does he know?

With an annoyed sigh, he grabs my shoulder and pulls me to his chest, slinging his arms around me. I slightly yelp at his action but let him be as he starts to slide his hand up my back to my neck, gently rubbing circles with his thumb there.

“It’s fine, don’t apologize. We are a team now, mate”

“Mate?”, I grunt in disbelief. All that is left for him to do now is to give me a fist bump and hand me a can of beer before burping in my face.

I can feel him smile into my hairline as he presses his lips against my forehead. Again, I let him. No protest, nothing.

With him it is always against all odds.

“So what are we? We aren’t really dating, we sadly aren’t fucking and I bet you wouldn’t consider me your friend.”

“We are-”, I pause for a good second and think.

“We are something in between that.”

He groans lightly, dipping his nose in my hair.

“Call me what you want, just not mate.”

As if he isn’t calling me princess every other sentence.

“I like partner”, I add and gain another snort from him.

“What, are we a law firm?”, I push lightly against his chest, just now registering that we are really close as I particularly lie in his arms.

“Okay, partner. I have one more question for you.”

“Mhm?”, I murmur, my eyes slightly closed as my hand stays flat on his pec.

“Didn’t I tell you how much your little skirts turn me on?”, my breath hitches in my throat.

“I-”, I start but never finish the sentence, heat glowing in my face. He leans down to hear me better. An act to make me more skittish. As if he doesn’t know exactly that I have no answer.

“Don’t act coy, you knew exactly what you were doing when you decided to pull up in that outfit.”

Did I? Maybe unconsciously.

I try to press myself up, but he doesn’t let me go and crushes my body more into his chest. With a swift motion he rolls us to the side and hovers with his elbows next to my shoulders over me. His face inches away from mine, still with his blindfold on. The only reason I am able to look at him.

“So let me ask you again, partner”, one of his arms travels down my side, stopping right at the end of my skirt.

“Please let me fuck this issue out of your brain”, his fingers play with the hem of it, softly touching my skin.

I don’t move, but my body isn’t frozen like it usually is when I am with him. This situation feels familiar, his fingers on my thighs feel familiar. It was like this when we were in my car. The same grip, the same warmth and the same rawness. I’m not sure if I can resist a second time.

Thankfully my brain is smarter than my body.

“This is a bad idea”, I whisper as his fingers move my skirt up my ass, exposing more of my skin.

“It’s not, trust me. It will help both of us.”

I laugh breathlessly at his answer and stop his hand from moving in between my thighs. I love this fucking blindfold. It really helps to withstand him, but only if I keep looking at his face. Once I get his body in my sight, I will cave in.

“How will it help you?”, I ask in a low tone. He doesn’t care about my hand holding his back from moving up. He slowly keeps going until he reaches the already soaked fabric of my panties.

"Contractual I’m only allowed to fuck you”, he answers and it certainly isn’t written like this in our contract but in a way he is right. We aren’t allowed to have sexual contact with other people, but we can.

I should have phrased it better.

“and sex really helps with the enormous, gigantic, unbearing pain in my leg.”

What a charming idiot.

Even in the dim light I see the feigned pout on his face and I would giggle at that if his fingers weren’t dipping slightly under my panties. Satoru doesn’t move his hand further in, he waits for my allowance.

“Is that so?”, I roll my hips lightly, gaining a low hiss from him.

“Yes.”, he snaps the hem of my panties against my skin, making me quiver.

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?”, I blow into his ear, grazing his earlobe.

“Only if it works.”, he brushes his finger featherlight over my clothed pussy, securing a whiny moan from me.

“Where are the cameras? Want to film me a second time?”, I joke breathlessly, not able to tease him more.

“No cameras, just us. I’m serious.”, he presses his hand now on my abdomen, still waiting for my go.

My go?

In a clear moment I realize what I’m just doing here and all my self-doubts come crashing down on me like an avalanche. I wriggle quickly back, but not entirely out of his hold. Hastily I shake my head and he can feel the movement.

Something in his mimic switches. The playful pout is gone, making his face appear sharp and rough again.

“Use your words”, he demands: “just say no and I will never try anything with you again, I promise.”

Instead of giving him a clear answer to his question I stutter: “What if you don’t like it?”

His forehead is immediately covered in wrinkles as he sits up, his hand appearing from under my skirt to now push down on my right hip. I know this expression so I continue to stammer an explanation: “We are on a good path, I don’t want to risk it by getting intimate.”

“I get that, but why should I not like it?”

A logical question from his part, but a hard one to explain from my view.

By being trimmed to be perfect all the time on ice, the urge to become excellent in every other aspect of my life is present. Not only always looking put together, no, also always performing impeccably in everything I do. With that comes the weakness to care what other people think of me, as if to make sure my act is superb. Not only to the public, but also to people in my private life. I want to be considered perfect by them too. The fake relationship with Satoru wrench this well put together image I created of myself and it irks me. But I try to see it as a challenge to overcome it, not caring about what random people think of me. However this doesn’t apply to people I personally know.

And I know Satoru.

Knowing someone doesn’t instantly mean spending time with them.

Heck, I am no virgin. I went to the Olympics. After the competitions are over, we celebrate with meaningless hook-ups.

There is a reason the organizers put condoms in each room.

But the keynote is meaningless.

It was just one time and I have never seen them again.

I didn’t have the need to perform in such a situation.

Do I still care that they thought I was good? Sure.

But would I freak out if they thought I wasn’t? No.

Because I certainly didn’t care at these moments. They were often quick and fun and over. A good time where I was able to finally let my guard down and enjoy being just me.

I’m sure some of the guys didn’t even know in what segment I was competing, because I for sure didn’t know theres. In conclusion I never acted when it came to sex, because I only ever slept with a person one time.

With that being said, with Satoru it would be different. We will spend time together. A lot of time. He knows me. Dismally the real me.

I showed him my ugly side by being a competitive, stubborn bitch, who would have loved nothing more than to blackmail him out of my rink.

The almost sex in my car was a performance. I wanted to trick him, so I performed in a way I knew he would like. I act and act and act to come across as perfect, but I can’t do this when it comes to real sex.

I never got complaints, but the self-doubt of not knowing for sure if I will be good, is eating me alive. I know I am good on ice, because I train my ass off. Every jump and figure gives objective points. I can count it and get a score, but intimacy is subjective. I don’t know what he likes or dislikes and even the thought of not knowing what he is thinking drives me nuts. Satoru is already an enigma to me, but bringing in the mystery of intimacy?

No, thank you.

Worse is, he is an expert in hook-ups. At least if I believe the tabloids.

Screw that, I saw some of the conversations he had per DMs with some of his liaisons. He is an expert, unlike me.

I can’t keep up this act with him. I am afraid I will slip and perform badly and this will ruin everything between us.

In a god-awful form I would feel the need to be perfect for him, if we sleep together, because in my head he is perfect in this discipline. And now we are back at the core of all evil. My hatred for losing. Losing against him.

What if I like it and I am certain I will but he doesn’t? I would never overcome this foul pain for failing.

“I don’t know, it’s just a thought.”

When I’m with Satoru I mutate into an individual who’s unable to tell a good lie.

And when it comes down to this theme, I can only try to lie. I would never tell him my real thoughts. Not with something that defines my character so harshly. Being perfect.

“It’s a stupid thought”, he states and drops his knees to the ground, sitting in front of me, his upper body between my legs.

I know it is a stupid thought, but it is still lingering in my mind, not going anywhere.

“I promise I will love it.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can”, no hesitation in his answer. He truly believes it and this makes me even more insecure, even if he meant it to take my worries away.

“How?”

His huge hands are sitting on my hips, engulfing my entire frame as he looks up at me, still wearing the blindfold over his eyes. As he leans more forward his broad chest parts my legs even more.

“Because I actually like you.”

I can only roll my eyes at that statement.

“Yeah right, I gave you so many reasons to like me.”

He cackles and presses his cheek on the inside of my thigh, his hands pulling me closer to the edge of the bed towards him.

“Right, you did. You are an absolute cunt”, this bastard chuckles, slightly grazing his teeth along my soft skin. I don’t dare to breathe.

“and that’s why I like you. The beloved, little ice princess for everyone but to me you are a treacherous, filthy wench, who likes nothing more than to see her opponents slowly decay on the ground, while standing winning over them. Fuck baby, we have so much in common. So please, I’m begging you, let me fuck this insecurity out of your brain.”

My jaw is stiff and jammed together. I should yell at him for the way he described me.

But… indeed I give it to him, he is right about me. I’m not the pure Gold medalist I portrait myself to be.

Still his words don’t make any sense. Why would any person like me for being in his words a treacherous, filthy wench. Only psychos would find this real version better than the one I show off to the public.

Well, I called him a psycho before, maybe he really is one.

No… I think?

Eventually after going over his words over and over again, I have no other answer to this than: “Okay.”

And that is all he needs as he pulls me forward with such a force, my back falls flat on the bed. Even with the blindfold on, he knows exactly what he is doing. In a rush and equally eager motion he yanks my panties down my legs, not even being patient enough to completely pull them off my feet, as he arranges my legs on top of his shoulder.

With a hunger I have never experienced with another person, he leaps his mouth unto my pussy. His flat tongue moves up from the hole to my clit, making me jolt.

“This is not-”, before I can continue, he slaps me firmly against my ass, making me choke on my sentence.

“I decide how I will fuck your insecure, wet cunt, so shut up and enjoy.”

I do as I’m told, but I can’t keep quiet for long. I moan his name, not caring about the others on this floor. Satoru isn’t bothered by this, he lets me be as loud as I want to be.

Holding my hips tight, he is not letting me squirm away. Torture, everything is torture with him as he draws slow but steady circles with his tongue. I just know he likes to see me wince, even now when he is physically not able to do so with his blindfold. Feeling his devilish grin appear between my folds each time I whimper, makes me feel more and more like I’m losing. I talked about the debt I don’t want him to have over me.

Well, that is now more apparent than ever before. I will never be able to repay him for this pleasure. I’m a hundred percent convinced.

“I already love it”, he declares before filling me up with two of his digits. I grab into his oh so soft and damp hair, wanting to feel him more. His fingers move in rhythm with his tongue. In and out, slowly like he wants me to suffer. Which I do.

He finds the right spot every time his fingers are back into me. I swear to God he knows it, by the way he can feel my inside starting to clamp around his insanely long fingers.

But he mocks, even ridicules me by not letting me come to my high. I’m so embarrassingly close to begging him.

To please just let me cum. To please just let me finally lose, so I accept it sooner that I will be in his debt forever.

Luckily he picks up his speed once I clasp my legs around his face, resting my heels on his hard shoulders.

“So perfect for me”, he chuffs and every little insecurities in felt before melted right away at his words.

I won’t tell him I’m close, I just want to cum without him dragging it out over and over again.

And he will if he knows.

Yet, I’m not good at keeping my closeness hidden as I grind absolutely feral and needy against his tongue, shifting my hips hastily up and down. Just chasing my own peak, not caring for a second what Satoru thinks, oddly enough.

But I forgot he has done this rodeo more than enough to read a woman's body. Right as I can almost taste the pinnacle of my orgasm, he stops and bites harsh on my inner thigh. I jerk up, completely out of breath and mad.

Oh, so mad.

Before I have the chance to throw ruthless cusses at him, he softly kisses the spot and pushes my legs off him, tossing me downright to the side. He stands up towering over my frame on the bed.

“What are you doing?”, I ask with teary eyes in between rapid breaths.

“Did you forget? We are a team now and for our first play I want us to cum together.”

Still I don’t know how he knows exactly where which part of my body is, but he grab my jaw harshly and snickers: “I know how fucking much you love a fair game.”

His thick thumb presses against my lips and I let it in. A mistake. He pushes it down my tongue, trying to gag me by moving it more and more down my throat. First I can handle it, sucking on it. But Satoru is never satisfied, he always seems to take it to the extreme as he holds my throat with other hand in place, lightly choking me from the outside too. I bite down on it as I can’t take it anymore, finally being able to breathe again as I gasp for air.

“If you ever do this when my cock is in it, you will regret it.”

Spit is traveling down my chin as I look up at him. His face is turned to mine and if he didn’t have the blindfold on his agonizing eyes would look right at me.

“Want to give it a try?”, I counter in a challenging way and instantly hate myself for it. Satoru is unpredictable and I’m not in the state to deal with his dick down my throat when he is sullen.

After a few long, gnawing seconds he smirks at me and I allow myself to fill my lungs with air again.

“Another time gladly”, he just announces before stepping back and gripping the rim of his pants. Satoru hasn’t even seen my naked body, but I can see the rock hard outline on the fabric. I gulp.

“But for today I have already told you my plan.”

His pants are down and he’s not wearing boxers. I knew it from the almost sex in my car that he is huge, but seeing his cock so close in front of my very sight, I whiz down the bed. Satoru notices instantly and grabs my ankle.

“Satoru, I will die”, I share my unfiltered thoughts with him. I know confessing this will feed his ego well, but I don’t care.

“No one has ever died”, he wipes over his mouth, which glistens with my juice and uses it to pump his colossal cock with his other hand a few times and adds with a wide grin: “so far.”

It is way longer than the average, even with both my hands I wouldn’t be able to completely cover it. The head is soft pink which sticks out against his pale skin and is already dripping precum. His girth is massive and overall slightly curved to the left. Mother nature really has her favorites and she decided to bless Satoru more than everyone I have ever encountered.

“Not funny”, I murmur with a dry mouth as he pulls me towards him again, leaning over me.

“I thought you like challenges.”

“I’m serious.”, and I’m being serious.

He sighs as he slowly reaches out to my face and collects the drool I choked out before. Holding out his flat palm to me, he doesn’t even need to say a word for me to know what he wants me to do. I still hesitate.

“Never took you as a quitter”, oh, this fucking asshole.

He knows exactly how to rile me up.

I spit in his hand, drawing a little smile out of his focused face as he coats his length with it.

With his range I will need all the help I can get, even when my pussy is right now more wet than she ever was.

Casually he leans on top of me, upholds his own weight with his left arm, so he doesn’t crush me as his right hand aligns the tip of his cock with my hole. I stop squirming and let him gradually insert his tip in. I whine into his shoulder, biting down on his neck as my hands claw into his back. He gasps heavily and shows mercy by giving me a few seconds to accommodate the sensation.

The only fucking plot twist is, I never truly accommodate to it. It feels like he is splitting me open, leaving me raw and wounded. Once he starts to roll his hips, I see stars and cry into the crook of his neck.

“Psht, my angel, trust me, it will be fine”, he holds my head in his large hand, wiping a tear off my cheek: “I was made for you and you were made for me.”

I can’t even register his lovely words as all my cells are entirely focused on his dick entering me.

He stops the movement of his hips for a second to kiss my temple, before slowly starting to move again after I adjusted myself a bit. I feel more than full, ready to break into two. He is stretching me completely out.

After what felt like forever, he is fully tucked in. At this intensity all I’m able to do is keep my mouth open and try to breathe so I’m not fainting. He was right, he can fuck the insecurity out of me, because my brain is not able to think in this state. Every cell is targeting what Satoru is doing to me.

Gently he takes my hand and guides it down from my chest to my abdomen, letting me palm his bulge inside of me. I can sense it twitching and pulsating inside of me. I whimper.

“See, you didn’t die”, he tries to joke. I would like to think that he does this to smoothen my angst, but he probably means it in a tantalizing way.

“Ready?”, he asks and the rational part of me screams No! but I want to, no, I need him to move.

“Mhm”, I weep and wrap my legs around his waist, ready to let him in even deeper.

“Good”, he quickly purrs and I should have known that he won’t hold back. Slipping out of me, he barges into me again in a rough and provoking manner. Completely out and back completely in. My entire body feels equally nothing and everything all at once. I’m wholly at his mercy as he picks up the speed, pulling one of my legs up his chest unto his shoulder to penetrate me even further. Babbling his name and incoherent words all together, he puts his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I sink my teeth into his palm and grab the sheets, hoping my body will get used to it, but it never does. Unable to form a thought, just getting dumbfucked for what felt like hours.

Satoru doesn’t seem to be out of breath, while I get brain fog and grasp that not even my training for the Olympics made me feel this exhausted.

But I don’t want this to stop, it’s painfully good and he hits the right stop each time, bringing me closer and closer but I try my best to suppress the coil forming in my insides that wants to finally be released. He wants us to cum together and he’s not there yet. My hands wander from his back to his chest under his compressed shirt, that clings even more to his body now with all the sweat and heat coating it. Once I touch his chest to caress his solid muscles and he starts to groan gravely into my ear, I can’t take it any more.

“Please, I can’t ‘ake it no more”, I sob: “Allow me to cum, please.”

He only chuckles intensely at my statement, letting his lower body crush more into mine as I feel the waves of mocking laughter.

“I said together”, he is stern again, making it clear that there is no way around. Right now I want to please him more than anything in this world, so I listen and be good.

Picking up his pace again, I notice his thrusts getting sloppier, his groans becoming lower and sharper.

“Now, angel. For me”, and I do as he says as he dives into me one last time, painting my walls with his warm cum. My eyes roll back into my head as I come undone. After a few seconds of breathing heavily with closed eyes I open them again and see him staring at me.

No blindfold.

How could I ever find those eyes scary?

“So beautiful”, at first I thought I said it outloud, but these are Satorus words.

I push his sweaty hair back and kiss him. For what we just did, this kiss feels way too innocent, but it is the ideal ending. Shyly letting my fingers linger against his jaw, he kisses me a second time with more force but still nothing compared to the dirty kisses we shared in my car. Resting his forehead against mine, he pants lightly before giving me his usual wide flirtatious smile.

“Did it work?”

I still lie under his huge body, mouth slightly open and my mind too blown to register what he wants from me.

I just let out a confused noise, which scored me one of his lighthearted grunts. He strokes his nose alongside mine, not breaking eye contact.

“Fucking your insecurities away?”

“Obviously”, I whisper, his eyes being the only things in my field of view. He hovers himself up and glides out of me, making me miss him immediately.

I watch him putting his pants back on as I just lie there, unable to move. For a minute I am sure he broke something in me because I can’t maneuver my limbs.

“No need to thank me”, he discloses with a wide smirk as he pulls my panties up and my skirt down to cover me. I’m actually glad that he isn’t cleaning me up or inviting me to take a bath in his room. I will do this on my own. The kisses were already on the edge of being too romantic. Can’t risk more.

“I wasn’t planning to”, I snap back, becoming defensive again as I lift myself up, feeling the soreness in my legs and core. As I manage to stand up with wobbly legs, Satoru watches me with a fat grin.

“Will you be able to be on the ice tomorrow for the photos?”

I glared daggers at him for this mischievous tone.

“I had tougher challenges.”

“I should have really filmed this, just so I could repeat the part where you sobbed because you thought my dick would kill you.”

Asshole.

I show him my middle finger and step past him, concentrating on keeping my steps steady. I walk to the door and turn one last time around, seeing him leaning against a wall with his arms crossed.

“This was a one time thing”, I declare, but not really believing myself either once I uttered it.

“Sure”, he replies with his mouth twitching slightly upwards. I know he is holding a simper back.

“I’m serious.”

“And I said sure.”

I roll my eyes and open the door.

“No word to anyone”, I demand and slam the door behind me way too loudly for the time of the day.

I hush down the stairs and stroll as fast as my aching legs allow me to home. His cum is already leaking out of me as I step under the shower. I regretted not fucking him in my car and now I wish I could say the regret I felt wasn’t worth it. I should regret sleeping with him, but I don’t.

It was as good as winning feels like, at certain times even better.

But I was right. It has to be a one time thing. He already cracked my body open, no need for him to get closer by doing the same to my mind.

I let him in today. Not just in me, I mean my inner thoughts. I laid my self-doubts out like an open book while he still hasn’t shown me a bit of a vulnerable side.

He gained the lead this night, but I’m on his heels. A second time I won’t let myself be so frail and delicate in front of him.

Never again.

The next day I wake up with throbbing legs and a raw feeling in my bottom line. I swallow two ibuprofen pills and wait for them to hit, so I can at least attempt to put my stockings on. I opt for a light grey set. No skirt, a leggings this time. I won’t be able to stand his teasing today.

I arrive at the rink on time. Suguru is talking with Shoko as I step past them on the tribune. I wave them hello and they both smile at me before falling back into their conversation. I fall heavy on a seat and begin to loosen the ties of my skates, so I can get them on. The painkillers help but everything still feels tender and bruised. Satoru is on the ice already with Mei Mei. Once he notices me, he glides over the ice towards the tribune, ignoring Mei Meis fierce instructions. With his signature smile he walks over to me.

“Hi”, he says before looking me up and down.

“Hi”, I mumble back, able to look into his eyes.

“No skirt?”

“No skirt.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want a certain person to enjoy himself too much.”

He snickers and takes my skates out of my hands.

“Can you walk?”

“No, I flew here”, I roll my eyes: “Of course I can.” barely

“Feisty today”, he catches my legs and gently guides my foot into the skates. He is so enamored in his actions that he doesn’t notice me gloom over his sudden affectionate side.

“How are you?”, I ask him to break the silence as he ties my skate. He quickly looks up at me and tilts his head like he would have never imagined me asking him such a question.

“Good, but I’m pretty sure Mei Mei is actively trying to kill me with this training”, his hair is already sticky again from all the sweat and his pale cheeks are rosy.

God, is he beautiful.

I shake myself in disbelief after that thought.

“But thanks to a certain person the pain in my leg is bearable”, he grins down as he slips me on my second skate.

“So, you and the certain person are even?”

He huffs and looks up at me after tying my second skate.

“Not at all, I still expect a ‘thank you’ card and chocolates.”

“Idiot”, I snarl, but end up smiling. He still kneels in front of me like he did yesterday, but this time it feels lighter, better. Like we made a huge step into the right direction for our deal to work.

“By the way, you did great yesterday, partner”, he slaps my leg a couple of times.

I give him a dirty look and complain instantly: “You are so corny, it is unbelievable.”

Before he can counter something, probably something even more corny, Suguru shouts from a few feet away: “I got the photo!”

We turn our heads confused at his direction as he walks over to us with his phone. He shows us a picture he just took from us. Satoru with his hand on my lower leg, grinning up at me and me smiling down at him.

A real smile. Filled with affection.

“I like it”, Satoru states, getting back on his legs. Both men are now looking at me for approval. I nod, rambling: “it’s really good”, before Mei Mei screams at Satoru to go back on the ice and Suguru tells me he will send me the picture. I just nod again, ignoring what happens around me.

“Hey, are you alright?”, Suguru asks me this question way too often and whenever he does, I am never alright.

The way I smiled at Satoru in this picture.

Ayo I’m fucked.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #enemies to lovers #figure skating #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo smut #gojo x y/n #ice hockey #satoru gojo

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allandoflimbo · 9 months

Text

Never Again (1)

Pairing// Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Type of story// Multi-Chapter

Bucky and Y/N hate each other. A lot. This isn’t your average enemies to lovers story. This is an enemies and lovers story. It will be dark. There will be sex.

Never Again masterlist || updated every thursday

Bucky

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Asa Nusara.” Bucky’s voice was like warm honey laced in gold.

“Your attempt at lying is becoming more unconvincing by the day, James.” Asa replied jokingly, but with a serious tone.

Bucky frowned as the back of his fingers traced over her dark beautiful skin on her cheeks. His thumb runs over her brow bone and then up over her head.

A beautiful black tattoo in the shapes of waves followed over her skull.

He traced those as well.

Asa could feel her heart accelerate as his blue eyes finally found her black ones.

Usually, he would play along with her jokes, but this time, his face stayed serious.

“I’d never lie to you, Ukatana.” He whispers.

The last word dangles in the air. The post coital energy around them envelopes the word tightly, holding onto what’s left of the conviction he’s trying to convey to her.

He feels her bare legs run in between his and she lets out a pleased sigh.

She takes his hand that’s on her face into her own hands and intertwines their fingers together.

Leaning in closer to him, she rests her forehead against his.

She thinks she’s going to fall asleep.

Bucky lets his nose slide against hers, tilting his head just slightly to capture her lips in a soft and gentle kiss.

“You really have to go in the morning?” He asks, pouting his bottom lip like a little boy.

“Ayo and Okoye need me. I need them. We need possession of the orifice necklace.” She states, her authority and dominance showing him that there is no hesitation in the matter, leaving no room for anything to get in the way.

He respected this greatly.

“I’ll be damned to find out why that necklace is so special that you must be away from me for a weekend,” he brings her hand to his lips and kisses the matte black band on the ringer finger. It was interlaced with gold vibranium, “unacceptable. you’ve only been my wife for nine days and I already have to let you go.”

Nusara chuckled.

“Forty-eight hours. It’s barely letting me go.” She leans forward and kisses him again, “I’ll return Monday morning. We have to start packing anyway to go back to Wakanda. Did you forget our beautiful home awaits us?”

“And our little goats.” Bucky adds with a small chuckle.

“The goats are to stay at the farm, James. I mean our home.”

Bucky smiles and nods slowly.

He lets go of her hand and grabs the side of her waist, bringing her in closer to him.

“I know, Asa. I know.”

Asa drapes her left arm over Bucky’s torso and rests her right cheek just over heart.

In minutes, they’re both asleep in his small Brooklyn apartment where they had fallen more in love two years ago.

Monday evening rolls around faster than Bucky had thought it would. With packing and getting things ready for his move back to Wakanda, it took up most of his time and it kept him busy.

He had packed most of his things. He left most of Asa’s stuff untouched as to not invade her privacy, nor the Dora Milaje’s.

The black and red cape he was gifted on his wedding day to wear is the last thing he packs away into suitcase before he hears a knock at the front door.

He’s confused as he look at the door.

All his friends weren’t in town so it couldn’t be Sam or Wanda. The Thunderbolts haven’t been together in months, and Yelena was oversees.

Asa never knocked.

Bucky, with the help of his job to the government, had special biometric locks installed at his apartment so she would just use that to get in.

A knock wasn’t necessarily normal so the uneasy feeling he gets is expected.

Letting out a deep breath, he finishes zipping up the bag and stands up on sturdy legs before making his way over to the door.

When he opens it, standing there are Nakia and Ayo holding their vibranium spear, their postures high and head straight.

Standing in front of them is Shuri.

Aside from the formal arrival, what pushes Bucky’s nerves off the edge is Ayo’s obvious tear streaked cheeks.

His stomach sinks.

Hard.

“White wolf.” Shuri’s tone when she calls Bucky his title is sturdy but soft.

He knows that tone all to well.

Bucky ignores her completely, his trained eyes fixing on Ayo. Through much training and durability, she looks strong and powerful, but Bucky’s experience quickly helps him see the falt in her facade.

Her inexperience to hide emotion is in her eyes and the way she is currently blinking.

Bucky has a gut feeling but he won’t listen to it unless it’s said.

He puffs out his chest and his eyes stay on Ayo.

“Where’s Asa and Okoye?” Bucky asks Ayo. But Ayo is staring over his shoulder, unmoving, “Ayo-”

“Sergeant Barnes-” Shuri starts again.

“Okoye is back in Wakanda already.” Ayo responds, cutting Shuri off.

Bucky’s expression doesn’t change but his left eye twitches slightly. He can feel his hand tightening around his doorknob.

Nakia, Ayo, and Shuri step foot into the apartment, forcing Bucky to take a step backwards.

The door is closed behind them.

It’s then, in the privacy and intimate setting of his and Asa’s home, that Bucky’s walls start to deteriorate a little more. His breathing picks up and his eyes are switching back and forth between the three women.

They also are less stiff and Shuri’s eyes soften.

Time goes by slowly as nothing is said.

Bucky’s practically huffing out of his nose now as he take another step back.

“No.” Is all he says. It’s a low growl.

“I’m sorry—” Shuri barely gets her words out before Bucky’s palms goes to his eyes and he closes his lids tightly.

“No.” He says loudly.

“Bucky—” Shuri tries again.

Her words this time are cut off by a very audible shaky inhale through his nose.

Oh, he was going to cry.

They watch as his fingers grip into his hair, his eyes finally opening and gaze gluing down to the ground.

“I’m very sorry, Sargent Barnes.” Nakia.

His face turns into an angry snarl as he turns around.

“Damn it, damn it,” he repeats. His left hand grabs desperately as his hair, “damn it!” He yells so loudly it bounces off the walls.

His vision is compromised now. Water is all he can see.

Pain and anger is all he can feel.

Ayo isn’t one to easily flinch, but Bucky’s kick to the glass coffee table does it for her.

“No, no, no,” he keeps saying to himself. Shuri swallows hard, wiping a lone tear off her face that had fallen during his last yell, “Shuri, no.” Bucky whimpers as he finally turns around to face them. Their heart breaks as they watch him finally burst into tears, “please.”

Bucky looks like he’s moments away from collapsing, his face paling dramatically, when Shuri’s hands goes to his shoulders. She gives him a sympathetic look as she guides them both slowly to sit down on his couch. The shards of glass breaks underneath her shoes and the soft fabric of the sofa underneath them, is the only sound for a few seconds until they are finally next to each other.

He falls apart.

Bucky brings her in for a tight hug.

She swallows thickly as his sobs echo loudly around the room.

They don’t know how long they stay like that.

It feels like hours until he speaks again.

Eyes bloodshot, he stares at his hands between his knees as he picks at them.

He’s also cried out; heart and soul deflated.

“How’d it happen?” He asks, ripping off the bandaid.

His voice is hoarse and he sounds rough.

“We had traced down the orifice. We were just about to enter the chamber it was located in when our entire system was breached,” Nakia states with a steady voice, “it caught us all off guard. He—” she stops right away and Bucky’s eyes drifts from his hands to the space above it. He knows she’s talking about whoever it was that murdered his wife, “It— we don’t know who the figure was—it wore all black, covered head to two, not nearly as skilled but it caught us off guard enough that when they came in—” Bucky’s face twists at this, he almost looks disgusted and physically repulsed by what he was hearing, “she was the one inside —it was fast. Too fast for reaction.”

There’s a long silence. They can feel his fury as Bucky slowly stares up at Nakia.

“You’re telling me,” He sounds menacing and cold, “an incompetent criminal in comparison to the Dora Milaje, caught my wife and her friends off guard enough to kill her in a fraction of a second and escape fast enough for you to not even see who the hell they were?”

His loud voice reverbs around them.

They felt guilty, and just as pained as him.

Nakia swallows thickly and blinks away the tears in her eyes.

“They were fast.”

“I heard you the first damn time!” He screams.

Ayo’s spear comes down hard in front of Nakia as a form of protection.

Bucky stands abruptly and points behind him as he stares at Nakia.

“My wife was in there alone! You let her go in alone! You left her without protection, without guarding her back. You let her with a will of your own step into that room and didn’t think to keep your guard up after a breaching, and watched her get killed!”

A spear is placed horizontally to his throat by Ayo and Bucky swallows hard.

He knows better than to react this way.

These girls weren’t just the most powerful women he had ever known in his life and deserved the upmost respect, especially after what they’ve done for him, but they were his friends.

He’s being emotional and irrational.

“James. Step back.” Ayo says. Bucky does as he is told, more tears falling out of his eyes, “Nakia wasn’t even on this mission.”

Bucky looks at Ayo. He sniffs.

“But you were, Ayo.”

Ayo swallows hard.

“I was,” her voice is less uneven, “And what she is telling you is the truth. None of us saw it coming. I don’t think the person that was there even realized we were either. I’m so truly sorry. I know you are in pain, and so are we. If we could’ve prevented it we would’ve, but it happened very quickly. She was killed before we realized someone else was even in there.”

He didn’t know what he wanted to do anymore. As his heart trembled, Bucky wasn’t sure if he wanted to set the world on fire or himself.

He steps away from them and walks over to his window. He looks outside into the Manhattan skyline.

He bites at his bottom lip as he tries to control more bottled emotions.

He refuses to look around his apartment, but it’s hard to when he sees some of the reflection of it in the glass.

It was a reminder that Asa had been here just two days ago, living a domestic life with him.

His heart pains again and he whimpers.

It takes him minutes to realize Ayo had come up behind him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m assuming they got away? Since you don’t know who they are.” They don’t have to verbally respond. The silence is already an answer for him, “and that they got the necklace.”

Pointless mission.

Failed mission.

With a cost- a loss.

His wife.

“How did it happen?” He asks, emotionless.

He had to find out information. He needed it. No matter how hard.

“Gun shot.”

He swallows the knock in his throat and keeps his back rigid, eyes never deviating from the skyline.

“Where?” He asks next. There’s a long silence and he can feel his anger brewing even further. Brewing for the stranger that did this to his wife, “where?”

“Her skull.”

Bucky cringes.

“Fuck.” He breathes out.

He runs a hand down his face.

“And Okoye?”

“Stray bullet grazed her cheek. She’s in recovery.”

Bucky’s welcome to Wakanda a week later was much more than warming.

Everyone was heartfelt and kind to him. He appreciated it, he always would from this country, but he also expected no less.

They felt pity for a young widower. For a loss of one of their greatest in their force.

The loss of a powerful woman, the greatest he’s ever known; fallen to a bullet.

He never would’ve expected this. Not in a million years.

The funeral is a nightmare. People greet him as if they’ve known him forever, some he never even knew. They don’t give him space and they mention her name each time.

He could only handle so much.

He hates thinking about it, but her coffin is gorgeous, laced in gold and red vibranium.

He watches, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, as its lowered to its resting place at the end of the evening, just before sun fall.

Bucky doesn't take off his wedding ring.

He doesn’t think he ever will.

The Wakandans still allow him to reside in the city if he chooses. He’s surprised they’ve even given him an option since what happened with Zemo. Asa had been, for the most part, his plane ticket in.

His and Asa’s beautiful apartment remains untouched and brand new. It grazes the highest of clouds as it overlooks the rivers and hills he’s learned to call home.

Now, this beauty reminds him of his lost love. It physically breaks his heart.

Looking into the bright orange sun, he’s reminded of the stolen nights in the huts.

He remembers their long nights where they would help their goats and sheep give birth to their little babies, when she had taught him how to bottle feed them.

When they had fallen deeply in love and had their beautiful Wakandan wedding.

Being here, in their apartment, without her, felt wrong.

“Hey.” Sam’s voice startles Bucky for a moment before he turns around to face his best friend.

Sam gives him a weak but genuine smile.

Bucky sticks his hands in his pockets and looks back into the setting Sun.

“Doesn’t feel right being here anymore.” Bucky feels that anger again, the one that makes him physically boil.

“What’s next?” Sam asks.

“I’m going to find him, Sam. I’m going to find who did this and stick a knife through his heart.”

You

Your life was destroyed at nineteen years old.

Up until then, you served as a Hydra operative. Your father was one and Hyda is all you’ve known. You were taught by them and trained by them. Willingly, you stayed. You worked as a recruited spy, performing mediocre missions for them when needed.

It had been going well for you, until your nineteenth birthday.

You were taken in the middle of the night, drugged and blind folded.

When you woke up, your living hell began.

You woke up in a dark cell.

To your left was a bolted door that probably weighed hundreds of pounds. To the right of that was a little metal bucket.

The stench was unbearable and you were freezing cold.

The walls around you were cement, molded, and so was the floor underneath you. You were terrified as you continued to awaken from your drugged state, finally gathering the energy to begin crawling at the chains around your wrist.

You were chained.

You began hyperventilating.

You became frantic as you tried getting them off.

“Hayden.” You stopped. The voice got your attention and you looked towards the door. It began to creak open. You found yourself moving away from the man, your legs flailing wildly as you tried to get away, but he kept getting closer. “Hayden.” He says again.

“That’s—that’s not my name.” You stutter out, throat dry like sand paper.

“It is now.” He crouches down in front of you and repeats, “Hayden.”

You didn’t have the patience for games.

“Where am I?” You ask, stronger this time.

“You’re at a Hydra facility, agent.”

You frown.

You were being held captive, treated as an enemy. Why were you taken against your will? By your own people?

“I don’t understand. I would’ve just come if asked.”

The man chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not for this,” he leaches forward for a strand of your hair and rolls it between his fingers, “you were chosen specifically for this, but we wanted to make sure you wouldn’t back out.”

You felt pride.

“As long as it’s in the desire of Hydra and helps us, I most likely wouldn’t back out.” You say matter-of-factly.

It’s then that you realize your face is covered entirely. The only thing peaking out are your eyes. That’s why your voice was muffled.

The dark eyed man nods his head.

“You were chosen as test subject zero eight seven six for the orifice experiment.” He says.

You’ve heard of it before.

“Human enhancement, but with the capability of healing and given any power of their choosing, based off placebo and free will. Mental. It’s energy is off psychosis.” You say.

“Correct. Which is why it needs to be a hydra agent. Your power of your choosing will side with our shared desires. Your controlled power will originate from this,” he holds something up in front of you.

It’s a gold chain, and dangling off of it is a red stone, circle shaped.

It shines, its light bouncing off your face.

It was gorgeous.

You find yourself reaching for it naturally before he pulls it away from you.

“We will train you, little girl. Then we’ll begin experiments. But between experiments, your endurance will be put to the test.”

You could only frown as you heard the door open again.

When your eyes landed on the new guest of arrival, a shiver ran down your spine.

You weren’t star struck.

You were repulsed.

Despite the urge to get away as far as possible, his blue eyes were startling in the darkness of the room. They were piercing and hard to look away from.

You had only ever heard about him.

Hydra’s biggest and best asset.

The man who not only surpassed you in every way possible, but believed in everything you didn’t.

It didn’t matter to you that he was now part of Hydra, because in reality he wasn’t.

He, Bucky, believed in everything you didn’t. This man in front of you right now was just a puppet.

You never understood how Hydra could accept that.

You hate everything he stood for as both Bucky and the winter soldier.

You were equally envious of this Weapon as you were disgusted by it.

He had only gotten so close to you before you quickly hocked up what you had in your throat and spat it at his shoe.

“Slap her.” The man instructs loudly, “Enough to hurt, but not kill.”

Oh, bring it.

You grunted before the pain escaped in your skull. Your head fell back against the wall and you could taste the iron in your mouth.

Your vision went black for a fraction of a second.

“Hayden, this is just the start. He will make you endure pain so you can build your endurance and tolerance to it. And you’ll learn to take it.”

You didn’t enjoy this part of your gift.

You spat at the winter soldier’s feet again, this time blood was mixed in with your saliva.

“Hit me again, you piece of shit.” You grit your teeth at the soldier.

The man looks at Bucky and nods at him, and as the soldier is about to hit you, you kick his arm away, making him fall forward. You wrap your legs tightly around his head.

You let out a growl as you began to choke him with your thighs.

“Fight back, soldat.” You grunt through clenched teeth.

The soldier obliged, easily slipping from your grip and wrapping his left hand around your trachea.

You gasped for breath as you stared at those soulless eyes.

Blue like the sky on a sunny day.

Your least favorite kind of weather.

“Tomorrow will be your first dose, Hayden.” The man kicks the Weapon’s leg to let you go, “Soldat.”

You gasped again as his grip left your throat and you were able to breathe again.

“Rot in hell, you disgusting pig.” You say hoarsely through burning pain.

You were excited to be Hydra’s next test subject, and it started off well.

After your first dose of the burning drug, you became faster and gained more dexterity. You’ve never felt anything like that very first dose. You were convinced, you were all convinced, it was going to be a success.

But that was also when the accident happened.

You knew it was an accident when it happened, and not intentional, because you knew for a fact that Hydra wanted you in prime condition. They wanted you trained, but they didn’t want anything getting in the way of the experiment failing.

It happened fast.

You had been in the room again with the soldier. Your face was still covered, minus your eyes. You figured they wanted your identity hidden.

Bucky’s eyes never left yours. Not when you were punching him or when he kicked your head.

He had stood up, stepped on your cheek with his boot, and forced your face into the ground.

You’ve never felt any pain like it.

You grabbed his leg, pulling him down onto you when you felt that searing pain in your lower stomach.

You were gasping and breathing as your wide eyes stared back into his cold ones.

What the fuck did he just do?

“Soldat!” The shout came and the soldier quickly pulled himself off of you, knife still in hand.

They had punished him in a severe way that night, as deserved, and you were taken away to the medical wing.

For the first time in your short life, you almost showed a reaction of sorrow when after your surgery the doctor that told you he had shredded your entire uterus.

They had to use 15 litters of blood to keep you stable.

After three weeks in recovery, and being of no use to your people, you were finally allowed to resume training again.

This time, the soldier was only pulled out for you every once in a while.

Each time, you wanted to kill him. Kill him for being a disgrace to existence and for taking away something you never really wanted until it was gone.

After your second dose, you were the same in terms of strength and skill, but when three weeks went by without another dosage, they could sense something was wrong.

You started getting sick.

You were dying.

It didn’t take much for everyone to realize you were being poisoned by the serum.

Wether it was the incident with the soldier that threw it off, it was never confirmed, but suspected.

After your fourth dosage, you got better again, almost like a cure, and you were able to go three and a half weeks without getting sick.

With each dosage you stayed better for longer, but that was all it did for you.

Hydra took you off the mission five months later, choosing they’d terminate the project all together. You weren’t gaining more powers and it was killing you instead.

Issue with that was you now needed the dosage to keep surviving. After your eighth and last dosage at the facility, you’d knew you’d only be okay for two months before your body started dying again.

They promised to help you by sending you what you needed to keep you going. By your first year, you noticed your cure time was no longer prolonging. After each dosage, you’d only be able to be okay for four months before you got sick again.

The feeling you got when you were sick and being poisoned was unbearable.

It’s been ten years, and you still weren’t used to it.

You never had to worry about a lack of shortage or help since Hydra still had smart scientists prepping your medicine for you.

That is, until exactly three months ago when you got the news that the orifice dose was being discontinued due to lack of certain resources.

“They expect me to just die?”

“There is one way. One way we can try. The orifice necklace. Its power is immeasurable. Some of the strongest on earth. Maybe it could even cure you.” Your closest friend, and your favorite Hydra agent partner, Ivan says.

The orifice necklace.

“Gabrïël destroyed that after he found out my mission was a failure.” You say.

“That wasn’t the real one, Hayden. I can tell you where it is, but the issue is, there are others after it now, too.”

“Who?”

“Wakanda. Even some of the lasting Avengers. Other spies working for the government. Sword, even.”

“Tell me where it is. I can get there first.”

The night before you left for Mexico for the orifice necklace, you stared at what little you had left of your medication in your medicine cabinet.

You had two doses left, one which you would need to take in four weeks.

If you didn’t get that necklace soon, you were dead in nine months.

You wouldn’t dare tell a soul, but you were terrified.

Your hand trembled as you held one of the remaining doses.

You didn’t want to die, and least of all, you didn’t want to run into anyone while trying to retrieve it.

One of the people which was a complete waste and a vermin in your eyes.

You took a deep breath, and put the bottle back in the cabinet. You walked back to your room and sat on your bed.

You began looking through your photos on your phone.

It was a photo of you and Leo, your best friend, just a week before his murder.

He was killed by the attack in New York by the Avengers nearly a decade ago.

This was your reason for trying to get that necklace.

You would keep yourself alive for him.

Placing your phone down next you, you then roll up your left sleeve.

A large scar runs down the skin.

He had done that after your third dose.

You had then stabbed him in his thigh. You felt great when you’d done it, but when you were finally alone in your cell, you cried for the first time.

…

Bucky Barnes.

That’s what his name was.

“Get me in, Ivan.” You spoke through your com, “I can get out just fine with my speed, but I need it open first.”

“I’m trying, Y/N. You need to bare with me. Try going a little to your right.” Ivan says.

You roll your eyes and hold your arms a little higher. You had already gotten inside the coal mine and you were standing just outside the chamber, but through the back.

To avoid any possible run ins with the cocky avengers, you both decided this was the best approach.

You were lasering thorough the thick rocks, but the laser was acting up.

Just when you’re about to to complete the circle, it goes out again.

“Jesus, fuck, Ivan.”

“I’m doing my best here. I’m pulling what power I can without the risk of calling attention. Even if that side of the freaks aren’t here, if Hydra even finds out too, we’re screwed. They don’t know we’re here stealing this.”

“Don’t know why they never tried to get it before. Also, do you really think the avengers are even here yet? They don’t have the same power of jets they used to have when their lord and savior Stark was still around. And Hydra will give me a promotion for this. That is, if this necklace really works and actually saves my life.” Your voice drifts our towards the end.

“You’ll be fine.” Ivan says quietly, “Got it!” Just as he says that, the power returns to your laser and it finishes the cut. You keep your left hand on the rock so it doesn’t fall and make a loud noise. You lay it gently down on the floor.

You stand back and look at it.

“I guess it’s big enough for me to crawl through.”

“Make it fast.” Ivan says.

With a sigh you stick the laser in your back leather pocket and crawl down onto all fours. You shimmy your way through the whole and into the chamber Ivan led you to. It’s dark, smells like wet earth, and is humid. Your eyes dart around the room, until finally you find a marble box on a stand on the far right side of the room.

You were thankful for your enhanced eye sight. You knew a regular person wouldn’t be able to see it right away.

You could feel your excitement brewing.

This was your ticket to survival.

You didn’t want to die.

You open the box, and you feel the tears brewing in your eyes when you see it.

A beautiful red stone.

You take it into your hand. You don’t feel different yet, but you figured it takes time.

A very small sound of a foot on a small rock has you quickly going for your gun on your waist.

Pulling your face and hair covering higher over your head, you blindly aim your gun behind you, giving away three shots.

You know reaction is reckless and stupid. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't haven’t pulled the trigger that soon, or at all. But with that necklace in your hand, you were afraid of losing it.

You were desperate. Your action was irrational as you shot at whatever was behind you, and escaping through your man made hole.

And then you ran and ran in the darkness.

The orifice necklace was right there, right in your hand.

“I have it, Ivan. I have it!” You shouted happily as you ran towards your jet.

“Make it quick, Y/N. I see something here on my radar.”

“On it.” You reply back curtly.

You retrace your steps with practice. The second you’re back in your seat, the sigh that leaves your mouth is palpable.

Ivan’s already in the pilot seat, getting the aircraft ready for take off.

You pull the necklace out of your jacket and stare at it in your hand.

Then something happens.

Your stomach drops.

There in your hand, the necklace begins to unravel into several pieces.

The red stone is the only thing still in tact, but in it is a message you hadn’t seen before.

Nice try.

Bucky

It’s been the hardest month of Bucky’s life since he’s been back.

He left Wakanda the day after the funeral.

He had decided that Brooklyn would be the best option for him.

His first home.

He still hung out with Sam and Wanda, and on occasion he kept contact with Yelena.

Him and Sam were the closest, though. They went on rogue missions together for the government and did their part when needed.

Every now and then, Peter Parker would stop by and say hello. It’s not like Queens was far. A whole different world, for sure, but he was practically a neighbor. Peter was like the little brother Bucky never had. It took him a second to warm up to Bucky, though.

Nobody would ever get closer to him as much as Steve or Sam ever did.

Getting used to life again after Asa was terrible.

Bucky even had to clean his internet history to make it.

They had googled places for puppy adoptions and vacation spots just the days before her death.

Bucky wouldn’t think about puppies for a long time now. Nor any vacations.

He just wanted to be alone.

The scarce missions with Sam helped some to distract him, but he’d still come home tired and depressed.

Everyday he’d try to contact Shuri or Ayo to find out any status of the mystery person from the chamber. When every-time he’d hear the same thing “nothing yet”, he’d do his own research, and also ask Sam for help.

One day, the answer was different.

“Hey, Buck. We’ve got a possible lead.”

He felt several emotions.

Excitement, fear, and anger.

For some reason, the confirmation of an actual killer reminded him that this wasn’t some nightmare he was just dreaming.

This was real.

Bucky had never sped so fast on his motorcycle before. Running a few red lights and nearly getting hit by a suv was the least of his concerns right now.

When he arrives to where the mission meetings have been held lately, Fury is already sitting there with Sam to his right.

“The Orifice Necklace,” Fury starts, a photo of it is on the screen behind him. Bucky eyes it like it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. What was so special about this piece of shit necklace? “It’s a supernatural stone that releases some kind of healing power. Wakanda has known about it longer because of security reasons. They don’t want this in the wrong hands,” Bucky still doesn't understand the hype, but he understands it’s danger now in the wrong hands. Whoever it was that killed Asa really wanted it for some self gain, “Under certain circumstances, they’ve decided to ask us for help. The orifice necklace that was at the chamber in Mexico was a fake. The real one was taken we suspect maybe months before. We actually think it’s in the position of some undercover agent in Sword, which makes this tricky. Reasons for suspicions aren't disclosed other than sword members reporting strange incidents since a few months ago.” Fury says.

Bucky scoffs

“I know, Barnes, this isn’t easy for you—”.

“What?” Bucky practically laughs out the word, “you think going after the person who killed Asa is hard for me?”

“You aren’t to kill that target. That person doesn’t even have it. Their death is no use to us. Bring them in alive and alive only.”

“Are you going to tell me where?” Bucky asks.

“You sure Bucky is the right person for this? He’s too close to this case.” Sam says.

“You’ll both go together.” Fury answers. He turns back to Bucky, “There will be a gala in Venice next weekend. We suspect that the person who knows who has the real necklace, the person from the chamber, will also be at this event,” Fury doesn’t lose eye contact with Bucky when he says the next part very slowly; “We suspect them to be Hydra affiliated.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched and his nose flares.

“I expect no less from an inhumane group of people.” He’d say worst, and he wants to, but he’s feeling emotional again. He quickly rubs his nose over the back of his hand and moves up closer to Fury, clearing his throat, “Name?”

“We only have one name that came up in suspicion, based off an experiment that was done ten years ago. It was in a file we found during one of our hydra facility raids. Experiment Orifice. The subject’s name is Hayden,” Bucky takes in a deep breath as he hears the name for the first time.

“Any distinctive features to watch out for?”

“A scar on their left arm. Starting from the palm to the elbow. That’s all we know.”

“Bucky. You’re really sure you want to be the one to do this?” Sam asks, unsure about this whole thing.

“Who else are we gonna call, Sam? Wanda’s lost her shit. Peter’s a bartender now. Who the fuck knows where thor is. We have no options anymore. Even Maria is dead,” Bucky stands up, “We’ll go.”

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