When people say "Ooh Nesta was so mean! She refused to teach Feyre how to read!!"
▪️ACOTAR according to Feyre:
According to this train of thoughts, Nesta and Elain didn't bother to teach Feyre how to read and hence why she grew up illiterate. As if Feyre asked them and they flatly just said NO.
▪️But then we get to ACOWAR and guess what?:
▪️A couple of things:
1. Neither Nesta nor Elain knew about Feyre's inability to read.
2. Feyre never asked them to teach her. She straight up made assumptions that they wont bother or they will just refuse.
3. Nesta would have taught her, she freaking loves books and reading!! And Elain, sweet sweet Elain as Feyre always describes her...why would she refuse to teach Feyre?? If Elain is always super kind and nice?
4. Nesta getting all the information about Feyre through Amren. And this is not the first time. If Nesta didn't care about Feyre, she wouldn't even have bothered to ask Amren about Feyre.
You want another proof:
Again, Nesta getting information about Feyre from Amren, this time regarding the blood rubies. Which btw, this is one of the reasons that made Nesta decide to join the High Lords meeting. Because her little sister risked her life to defend a court that sent her a death threat!
Also, we see how Nesta in ACOFAS detaches herself from her sisters and the IC. We know that she decided to leave Feyre's home and live on her own. Why? Because that way she can have some privacy and also she wont get judged every single minute of the day on what she does or should do. (Apart, of course, from all her PTSD struggles, etc..).
But guess what?
Who is the only person she actually keeps in contact with?? Who, out of her sisters and the IC she actually bothers to visit and talk with?
Yep, you guessed it. Freaking AMREN.
Nesta, the cold bitch who doesn't care shit about anyone else, actually bothers to visit Amren and watch her build puzzles while they talk. And guess who always feed Nesta information regarding what's going? Yep, right again. AMREN.
Sometimes, I do struggle with first person narrative because they dont tend to be objective but, the trick is to know how to read between the lines. I could go on and on about lots of things I've been finding that I think they're important to highlight when it comes to secondary characters, without involving Feyre and Rhysand.
I find frustrating that people dont seem to move on from the first 4 chapters of Acotar when it comes to Nesta, but the other characters are just fine.
Perhaps, closer to the release of ACOSF I might post some of my notes of the little things I think might be important to mention when it comes to Nesta, Cassian, Elain, Azriel, Lucien, Mor, Tamlin and Eris because I know they will all play a role in the next books.
hi! i saw ur taking requests and was wondering if you could do something with azriel and him finding out the reader is his mate please (basically just him being a cute over protective bat boi)
A/n: Sure baby 🧡 Constructive Criticism is always welcome, please be polite xx Sorry this took so long I've been heaps busy amd had no motivation. Enjoy!
"Mor!" Feyre's voice rang through the estate.
"Feyre!" She called back from her spot on the couch next to Cassian. Cassian let out a wince at her voice in his ear and she scoffed dismissively at him.
Feyre swept into the room, paint and flour staining her fingers.
"What have you been up to?" Cassian asks raising a brow and Azriel gives a low, barely audible chuckle from his seat on the other couch.
"Mor did you say Y/n was planning to come round for the day on the Solstice?" Feyre asks, ignoring the comments on her appearance.
Y/n was an Illyrian female who had her wings clipped when she was young. Mor had run into her in an escape attempt from one of the less progessed Illyrian camps and offered her safety in a small apartment in Velaris.
Since then Y/n had become very close to the Inner Circle, but especially to Mor who made it a point to visit Y/n every day and make sure she was comfortable and happy in her new home.
Mor slid her eyes to Azriel sneakily. Since Y/n had started to be around them more often she had noticed a change in Azriel's behaviour.
He was louder around her, came out of his shell a bit more and he had warmed up to her faster than she had ever seen him do with anyone.
"Yes, if that's okay with everyone. Else she'll be alone and honestly I don't like the thought of leaving her alone on the first holiday since her escape. Or any holiday for that matter." Mor sat up straight as she spoke, glancing cautiously at everyone.
"What are you talking about?" Rhysand's voice sounded as he entered the room behind Feyre, "Of course we're all okay with it." He grinned cheekily and wrapped his arms around his Lady's middle.
"Invite her Mor! Everyone loves her. Besides I already got her a gift." Feyre adds and Mor grins at them.
"Great! I was planning on visiting her this afternoon. Anyone care to tag along?"
"I said anyone not all of you! Her home is not big enough for everyone without it being cramped." Mor complained as they walked through the streets of the City of Starlight in a big, intimidating, messy clump.
"Y/n won't care. She loves us." Cassian shrugged indifferently, amusement written across his face as Mor continued to scowl.
She, once again, took a sneaky glance at Azriel only to see him sporting a grin as they continued on their way.
"Getting excited Az?" Mor teased and his grin was replaced by confusion.
"For the solstice?"
"I meant for going to see Y/n, but making a move on her on Solstice seems something to look forward to as well." Mor joked. By this time, everyone was in their own conversation and trailing slightly behind the two.
"A move?" He inquired, red beginning to tint his face.
Mor smiled. Contrary to popular belief, she was happy he was developing feelings for her. It meant he was moving on to someone who could give him what she couldn't. And they were going to be adorable together.
"Don't think I don't see the way you look at her Mister. The way you act around her. You're like Cassian, but a gentleman when she's around. No turtle shell." She nudged his side with her elbow and was shocked into a silence when he chuckled.
"I'm not going to make a move Mor. I have a foolproof plan. Not say anything and hope she falls in love with me." Az shrugged and Mor giggled.
An excited squeal left Y/n's mouth as she threw open the door to Mor, the High Lord and Lady and everyone's favourite Illyrians.
She moved out the way to let them all enter and they filed into her lounging room, taking up all the seats.
"I didn't expect you all to be over! Did anyone want something to eat?" She offered as she sat on the arm of the chair next to Cassian.
Cassian wrapped an arm around her waist and looked up at her with a cheeky grin.
"Cooking for me sweetheart? You shouldn't have!" He winked. Cassian was always very flirty with Y/n, but it was only a joke.
Azriel didn't like it. He bit down on his tongue to stop himself from growling. He was annoyed with himself. It's never been difficult for him to keep his features schooled. What was it about this female that caused him to lose control so easily?
Y/n rolled her eyes, but she still had a bright smile on her face.
"What would everyone like? Actually I have some raspberry brownies I made yesterday, if you don't mind them being a little cold? They're still quite fresh." She stood from her spot next to Cassian and gestured towards her kitchen.
"You are an angel!" Cassian exclaimed and Y/n just shook her head, eyes twinkling with amusement.
Everyone cheered at her suggestion and she moved towards the kitchen. As she walked, Azriel could see the scars on her wings and back from when they clipped her. He had a sudden urge to go to that camp and rip apart everyone who let that happen to her.
A few moments later she reappeared with brownies and everyone jumped up, crowding the small table she had set them on.
"I'm afraid there isn't much to do around here. I still need to get a few Solstice gifts so maybe we could head out into town?" Y/n spoke and they all laughed at her sweetness.
"Y/n, you are too sweet for your own good." Rhys told her with a chuckle and everyone nodded in agreement.
"It's easy to be an accomodating person when you grew up knowing what it was like to be shunned and neglected." She gave a shrug and the Inner Circle exchanged worried looks.
It was also easy to worry about a person who never had anyone to worry about her before.
"We'd love to go shopping with you Y/n." Azriel stated firmly and Mor and Feyre eyed him carefully.
"Brilliant! We can all be together for a while, but then we have to split up so you don't see what I get you." She ushered everyone up and towards the door, grabbing a small satchel on her way out.
Moments later they were walking through the strips in town, colours and lights and music everywhere.
"So who are you struggling to buy for Y/n?" Cassian asked with a nudge that, again, made Azriel bit his tongue to keep from losing it at his 'brother'.
"Mor and Rhys." She admitted sheepishly and Rhys gave a fake offended look.
She muttered a sorry, but Rhys just laughed and reached around to pat her on the shoulder and let her know it was okay.
"We should stop and get a drink!" Mor remarked before gripping her friend and pulling her into a nearby pub.
As Mor oulled her away, Y/n gripped tight onto Azriel's elbow and dragged him along too.
"Get him!" She ordered, nodding to Cassian.
Azriel chuckled at her demand and pulled Cassian along with him by the shirt.
He joined the females at the bar and ordered and paid for himself and Y/n.
"You didn't have to do that Az." She told him, quietly, red tinting her cheeks.
"I know. I wanted to." He tried to shrug nonchalantly, but the blush on her cheeks was screaming at him to press his lips to each cheek.
'Woah. Where did that come from?' He thought to himself. He knew he harboured some feelings for her, but that was...
"We've lost Feyre and Rhys!" Mor exclaimed and Y/n and Azriel were brought out of their stupor.
"Oh well, that's alright, we were going to split up anyways." Y/n said decidedly after looking around.
"Y/n." Azriel's deep voice called and she returned her attention to him.
He pushed her drink across the counter to her and she gave a sweet smile.
"Any ideas on what to get Rhys?" She asked him and he smiled back at her.
"Some kind of sentimental shit. He'll eat that right up." He joked and they both laughed.
She took a thoughtful sip from her drink then placed it down again.
"What about a locket? On one side I could have a picture of all of us. On the other, Just me and Rhys. It would be circular, with the Night Court Insignia engraved on the front." She seemed to vomit the words without even thinking.
Azriel was in awe.
"How do you do that?" He gaped and she raised a brow.
He opened his mouth to reply, but stopped. He looked around once more.
"We've lost Mor and Cassian." He pointed out, kicking himself for being so unobservant. So lost in the female before him.
"That's alright. You and I can go get Rhys' present ordered then. Then we'll go for a walk and see if we can find something for Mor." She lifted herself off of her stool and skipped towards the door.
Azriel followed without a second thought, a smile spreading across his face.
As they walked through a strip filled with clothing stores, they began to move closer and closer to each other.
Y/n glanced down at his hands. She had wanted to hold it, but she'd never touched his scars before and she didn't know how he would feel about it.
Only a few seconds later, Azriel brushed his fingers against hers and took hold of her hand. He didn't even think about it.
She stopped still and let out a gasp at the touch of his scars and he froze. He ripped his hand away from hers and began to apologise profusely.
"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I know, the scars are-" He was cut of by her grabbing his hand gently.
"Beautiful," She mumbled, holding eye contact with him as she brought her lips to one of the nastier scars on the back of his hand, "they're beautiful."
And that's when he felt it. It felt like everything was right and clear. Like before he was seeing the world through frosted glass and now there was no lense.
The word clanged through him, just as it did her.
"Everyone has scars Az," she looked back at her wings for a moment then turned back to him, beaming, "they're a symbol of strength. They're beautiful." She repeated.
"Y/n..." He mumbled.
'What if she didn't feel that?' He worried.
"I know Az. I don't know about you, but-"
"I couldn't be happier!" He stopped her talking and pressed his lips to hers gently.
The kiss was sweet and loving and happy. It was accepting. Azriel was quite happy just to stay like that for the rest of the night, but all good things come to an end.
Just as they pulled away, Cassian's obnoxious voice echoed down the street. No doubt about it, he was drunk.
"Y/n! Help me!" He yelled even when he was right in front of the two.
"You are drunk." Az observed and Y/n giggled.
"Thankyou Spymaster Obvious! C'mon Mister let's get you home." Y/n teased her mate and dropped his hand.
"Take me home? At least by me dinner first, love." Cassian teased and pressed a sloppy, drunk kiss to her cheek.
Azirel didn't even try to stop the growl that ripped from his throat. That was his mate.
"What's eating him?" Cassian asked and Y/n took a step closer to Az.
"Calm down Azzy. Help me with Cassian, and just ignore him." She leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
When she returned to her own height, Azriel found himself leaning down, chasing her lips.
She put a hand on his mouth and giggled at his pout.
"Let's all get home Azriel. Then... I think I'll make us some dinner."
summary: you know azriel loves you, but you can’t help but feel like he could do better.
a/n: ok so this wasn’t requested but i wanted to write something with my favourite bat boy to kick start this account so i hope you enjoy! requests are open :)
“You know you’re being completely ridiculous, right?”
You groan, removing your hand from its position across your eyes as you glance over at Cassian lounged beside you on the bed.
“I didn’t invite you here to insult me, Cass. You’re supposed to be comforting me.” you whine, Cassian shaking his head with a chuckle in response.
“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t comfort you over something that doesn’t exist, Y/N/N.” he retorts, reaching out to poke you playfully in the side. “I mean, do you even hear yourself?”
“Of course I hear myself. And to me, I sound perfectly reasonable.” you grumble, sitting up and running a hand through your hair in frustration.
“Alright, let me get this straight. You think that Azriel, your mate of over 500 years, is cheating on you? Azriel, the man who has been hopelessly in love with nobody but you for said 500 years? That Azriel?” Cassian asks, eyebrows quirking up in amusement. “You’re insane.”
You roll your eyes, standing up from the bed and beginning to pace the length of it, anxiously chewing at your bottom lip.
“I never said I thought he was cheating on me, Cass. I know that Az would never. I was merely saying that maybe he’s decided that he wants a change.” you explain, stopping before him as he rests his chin on his hands whilst listening to you. “I mean, you said it yourself. We’ve been together for over 500 years now. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to experiment with someone new. Someone better.”
Any amusement on Cassian’s face disappears at the utter seriousness of your words. He stands quickly, placing one hand on your shoulder and grasping your chin gently with the other, forcing you to look at him.
“Hey, woah, what are you talking about? Azriel loves you. He would never want better and could never do better than you. You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” he reassures, heart aching at the sight of one of his closest friends looking so vulnerable before him.
“What if you’re wrong? What if he’s not happy anymore?” your voice breaks, lip trembling as your words sink in.
What if he wasn’t happy anymore? What if you were the reason he was unhappy? What if he’s only still with you to spare your own feelings? What if-?
You’re so lost in your own spiral of thoughts that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps of your mate, only becoming aware of his presence when it’s too late.
“What’s going on?” his cool voice breaks the silence that has befallen upon the room, his eyes flitting between you and Cassian before landing upon Cassian’s hands on your face, his jaw clenching tightly in response.
Cassian notices his mistake and quickly removes his hands, stepping back from you sheepishly and moving to stand beside Azriel. He offers his brother a sympathetic smile before leaving the room, throwing you a quick thumbs up over Azriel’s shoulder.
“What was that about?” Azriel questions, voice cold and shadows swirling dangerously around his tightly closed fists. “Are you-“
He cuts himself off abruptly when he sees the tears running down your cheeks, face falling at the sight.
“What happened, my love?”
He quickly moves to you, instinctively reaching for your hand. You flinch away, Azriel freezing at the action, instantly pulling his scarred hand back to his side.
“Did I-“ he begins, voice breaking slightly and shadows closing in around himself, almost as if he is trying to protect himself from any potential responses you may give. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“Do you still want to be with me?” you blurt out.
Azriel flinches back as if you’ve struck him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Of course I do. Why would you ever ask such a thing?”
You shake your head, more silent tears falling as you begin to pace before him again.
“I wouldn’t blame you, you know? 500 years with one person is sure to be tedious, especially considering that person is me.” you admit, laughing bitterly. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted something new.”
Azriel just stares at you in disbelief, racking his brain for all the things he’s done and said that could have possibly made you feel like this.
“Something new? Darling, what- did Cassian say something to you? To make you think these ridiculous things?” he asks, voice hardening at the thought.
“What? No. Of course not.” you respond, pausing your pacing but still not meeting the Illyrian’s eyes. “And it’s not ridiculous, Az. It’s okay. I’ve seen the way you look at Elain and it’s fine-“
“Woah, woah, woah” he interrupts you, stepping closer until he’s standing right before you. “The way I look at Elain? What on earth are you talking about?”
You sigh, finally meeting his eyes and he swears his heart breaks at the utter defeat and despair he finds within them.
“Ever since she’s arrived you’ve spent most of your time with her. You’ve accompanied her to the garden, you’ve taken her on walks around Velaris and it’s okay, Azriel.” you say, smiling sadly at the man you love. “I understand if you want to try something different. Elain’s lovely and I’m sure she could make you very happy and that’s all I want for you, so-“
“Stop.” Azriel tells you firmly, removing any distance between the two of you as he reaches for you, cupping your face delicately between his scarred fingers. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again.”
You can only stare back at him in surprise, eyes searching his face for any indication of what he’s feeling but all you find there is anger and pain.
“How could you ever think that? That I would ever want to be with anyone who isn’t you.” he shakes his head. “You’re my mate. The love of my life. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember and you are it for me. You’re my past, my present and my future and no one else could ever compare to you. Sure Elain’s a sweet girl, but she’s only a friend. She is not and could never be you.”
Tears begin to cloud your vision once again at his declaration, a small sob escaping your throat as you surge forward, clutching his shirt tightly in your hands as you press your lips to his.
He responds immediately, one hand staying on your cheek whilst the other moves around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. He tries his best to express his love and adoration for you through the kiss but he knows deep down that no words or actions will ever be able to convey his overwhelming love for you.
You break the kiss, breathless as you rest your forehead against his. You tilt your head slightly to press a kiss to the tips of his fingers as they lightly graze your features, earning a shudder in response from the winged male before you.
“You promise you’ll tell me if you ever want out? I don’t want to be the cause of your unhappiness, Az.” you say, voice quiet and laced with anxiety.
“You could never make me unhappy, Y/N. Cauldron, you have made me the happiest man alive, even though I still believe I don’t deserve you. I fall more and more in love with you everyday and I thank my lucky stars for whichever god decided to give me the blessing of having you as my mate.” he confesses, eyes fluttering closed as a few tears of his own fall. “I love you. And I will gladly spend the rest of eternity proving that to you.”
Prompt(s): “Everything alright?” & “I just missed you.”
Azriel had been gone for a month on an assignment for Rhysand. At first it was fine. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to go away. It wasn’t even the longest he’d ever been gone. But after the second week, you were miserable. You weren’t sleeping. Sleeping alone had never been an issue for you. You always preferred it. Apparently the Illyrian had gotten further under your skin than you realized.
Your mood continued to deteriorate. Instead of laughing at Cassian and Mor’s antics, you found yourself snapping at them. You apologized after, but it clued everyone in on your mood which you quickly brushed off as lack of sleep.
They weren’t stupid and neither were you. Figuring out what was really wrong wasn’t hard. You missed Azriel. Really missed him. It had been awhile since he’d been away. Your relationship had progressed a lot more than it had been back then. It wasn’t easy anymore. You didn’t want to be away from him. That realization didn’t help your mood. If anything, it made it worse.
You were quiet throughout dinner with everyone. Internally, you were grumbling about the new predicament you found yourself in. If you were honest with yourself, you were aware that it wasn’t new. You’d felt this way for a long time, but there was always something to distract you. But things had been peaceful since the war. There weren’t any more distractions so now you had to actually deal with these feelings. You weren’t looking forward to what that meant.
As soon as you were able, you excused yourself from dinner. You avoided anyone who might stop you, making your way through the streets as quickly as possible. All you wanted to do was get home, curl in bed, and try to at least get a few hours of sleep.
You let yourself into the house you shared with Azriel and chucked your shoes off as you stomped past the living room. There was light coming out of the living room as you passed and you caught a glimpse of something in the corner of your eye, but ignored it. You were nearly to the bedroom when your brain caught with you and you came to a quick stop. After standing in the middle of the halfway for a moment, you slowly turned and walked back towards the living room. You walked through the doorway to see Azriel reclined on the couch, a small smile gracing his lips.
A whine tore itself from your mouth as you launched yourself at the male. He chuckled as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you ever closer.
“I just missed you,” you mumbled, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You’re sure you looked ridiculous with the way you were wrapped around him, but It didn’t matter. You needed to be close to him.
The fact that he was back early lingered at the back of your mind. You were going to ask why but got distracted by tingling in your eyes. You wanted to roll your eyes and tell yourself to stop acting like a child, but couldn’t think past the flurry of emotions that were curing through you. So you just tightened your arms around him and focused on not letting the tears pooling in your eyes fall. Of course he had to wrap his wings around you, blocking out anything that wasn’t the two of you.
Tears streamed down your face as you sniffled, trying to get them to stop. You felt a small shaking under you and pulled back to glare at Azriel.
“Stop laughing at me.”
He stopped laughing, but the smile didn’t leave his face. He gently wiped the tears from your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You sighed at the feeling, a smile breaking out across your face despite the tears that still occasionally slipped down your face.
“I missed you too.”
He pulled you back to his chest tightening his grips around you. You closed your eyes and laid there listening to the sound of his heart beating. One of his hands stroked up and down your back and you let out a soft sigh. The sleepiness was weighing down on you but now you fought to stay awake. Minutes ago all you had wanted was to rest but now that he was here that was the last thing you wanted.
“You’re home early,” you said hoping talking might help you stay awake.
“Things weren’t as bad as we thought.”
You let out a hum. You started to lean more heavily into him before you jerked, remembering you were trying to stay awake. He turned his head to look down at you and you gave him a small smile. You sat up slightly to connect your lips to his. He pulled away too soon for your liking which he could tell from the small glare you sent him.
“Go to sleep Y/n.” He lifted you into his arms and made his way to your bedroom. The drowsiness was already creeping back over you before you even reached the hallway.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
He laid you on the bed, and you were quick to curl into his side when he joined you. You said a jumbled I love you and wondered if he could even decipher what you had said. He laughed and pulled you closer.
“I love you too. Now sleep.”
That was the last thing you heard before sleep finally overtook you.
Pair: Azriel (ACOTAR) x reader, Unrequited Cassian x reader
Word count: 3.5k
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Warnings: Language, Mentions of sex
A/N: Admittedly Its been a while since I've read ACOTAR but my obsession with Azriel has never faded so enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Gifs are not mine
Masterlist - part 2
Solstice was normally your favorite time of the year. The celebration, gift-giving, the feeling of home. Tonight was no different, except for the fact that the man you were in love with for centuries seemed to be all about Nesta, the oldest Archeron sister. It hurt seeing him with someone else, they weren't together, not yet. What with Nesta's hatred for Fae and overall annoyance for Cassian but that didn't change the fact that he had a deep interest in her and not you. Not in the way you wanted him to be at least.
It was the end of the night and everyone had gathered around to exchange presents. You had given Mor a dress you saw her eyeing while shopping together, and she gave you a thin piece of cloth that she dared call a nightgown. You blushed and told her you didn't think you would ever wear it but thanks. You and Amren exchanged jewlery, agreeing prior to this evening that you both wanted a piece of jewelry from each others collection. Rhys and Feyre had given you a tapestry of your family who had died when you were young. Rhysand had met them before their passing. He told you that he described them to Feyre and she painted them as best she could-- he gave you that too-- and they went to a lady who makes tapestries and had it made for you. You teared up and rushed to give them a hug. "Wow, guys." You sniffled. "You're making me feel bad that my gift isn't half as sentimental."
"Your presence is gift enough Y/N, with everything going on, " Feyre said. They weren't wrong, with the upcoming war, the missions the group was sent on are dangerous and lucky to be alive to see this day.
"I say give me the gift, I have to be in her presence every day." You shot Cassian a half-hearted glare with an improper hand gesture. Then chucked the sheathed dagger that you got on the table next to him. "Ooh pretty!" He exclaimed, immediately grabbing it like a child and inspecting the details. Azriel rolled his eyes at his brother's childishness but had a small smile playing on his lips. "Here." Cassian threw a small box towards you. You caught it instantly, opening it to see a necklace with the special nickname he gave you. Your heart fluttered. "Thanks, dingbat." You responded. "Az, I'm sorry your present was supposed to be ready by now."
He gave you a quiet. "Don't worry about it." as he handed you a silver bow, your favorite weapon of choice. The string on your old one had worn out. You got up and gave him a short hug.
Finally, you gave your high lord and lady a box with a note that said 'Open in private, have fun you two ;)' You gave Feyre lingerie that was Rhysands favorite color, along with a tonic Feyre wanted since she said she didn't wanna have kids while the war was still going on.
After the exchange, you used that as an excuse to get drunk at Rita's with Mor and Amren. Feyre and Rhysand already retired for the night. Especially since you noticed a certain long-haired Illyrian spending majority of his night teasing and arguing with Nesta. And Elain was in the garden enjoying the night with Azriel who was keeping her company.
Unfortunately for you, Cassian had insisted he and Nesta come along. 'We never go out together anymore' he said. You thought there was no point if all he was gonna do was stay glued to Nesta all night.
"5 shots." You ordered when you got to the bar, for you and the rest of your friends and downed yours right when it was put in front of you. You dragged Mor and Amren to the dance floor. Swaying your hips to whatever song was playing. Then going to the bar and drinking all the money you had in your wallet, away. It went like this majority of the night. Eventually, you got a sick feeling in your stomach, which only got worse when you saw Cassian in a deep conversation with Nesta. For once Cassian didn't seem like his usual playful self that would tease her and for once they weren't arguing. You felt the pit in your stomach go up to your heart and to your throat. Rushing out the doors of rita's, you made it outside and let out the bile into the river until there was nothing left but the feeling of your heart sinking, you could almost hear the sound of your heartbreaking.
You looked up from where you were sitting, leaning against the railings. The heard doors open, you lifted your head and saw a man with wings coming out. You prayed that it wasn't Cassian. "I don't think the locals would like that very much." You recognized the voice of the shadowsinger.
"The locals can go-" You gagged, nausea coming back up your throat. You got on your knees, one hand on the railing, waiting for your throw up to either come out or go away. You preferred the latter. "Fuck this." You breathed inhaled, clutching the railing trying to get up. You started to stumble through the streets heading to the house.
Azriel to put an around your middle and lifted your arm around his shoulder to help you walk. He turned you around. You were going the wrong way. "Fuck this, Fuck him, Fuck everything." All of sudden getting emotional, tears spilling out but at this point you couldn't care less.
"Who?" Azriel questioned.
"Who else?" You suspected everyone knew. Feyre, Amren. Mor did too, she even apologized for sleeping with him when she noticed your feelings. She didn't know before besides, it was the only way she was freed from her family so you couldn't blame her. You were in love with him since he held you after they clipped your wings, He defended you and made it his mission to scare off anybody who hurt you or seemed like a threat to you, knowing that you could take care of yourself. But you then started to realized Azriel would do the same, as well as Rhys. Over time you realized he would never love you the way you loved him. He loved you as Rhysand did. Like a little sister. Rhysand noticed your feelings for his brother after a while, he asked you when or if you would ever say anything to Cassian. And you told him that you'd take it to the grave, even if Cassian did notice and just didn't say so, you would never admit it to him.
You didn't doubt that he knew though. That made it worse, you thought. It didn't matter now. Too many thoughts about him were filling your head. A headache you knew would come was already starting to form.
It took him a second to realize. "He's an idiot."
"How do you do it Az?" You stumbled despite being half-carried by the silent Illyrian man. He stopped walking and lifted your legs, deciding to carry you instead. He winnowed you both into your room in the townhouse. Once you were there he put you down carefully and looked at you saying "I don't know."
You sighed, feeling sober enough to want to change clothes, you were too lazy to walk all the way to your closet so you just grabbed the nightgown that Mor gave you earlier and stripped. Azriel turned his back so he wouldn't see you as you changed. You then walked to your bathroom, brushed your teeth and took off your makeup as best as you could.
"I'm decent." You said. He turned around. "Will you be alright on your own?" He asked just to be sure. He knows you can be unpredictable while drunk and can possibly put yourself in dangerous situations. Had he not gone outside, who knows what would've happened to you.
"I'm in my room, at home, I think I'll be fine." His face stayed the same but you could tell he was still unsure. He made his way to leave your room either way, "Azriel?" He turned to look at you.
You both stared at each other silently. You didn't know whether it was because you're drunk and emotional but when you looked at him; He was beautiful. A voice in your head urged you to move closer so you did and stopped right it front of him. You took his scarred hand in yours intertwining them-- something he would only let you do despite his shame-- you looked up at him, your eyes locked on each others. Then you thought 'fuck it'.
You stepped on your toes, putting your other hand to his cheek, pulling him down and turning your head slightly to the right. Your breath hitched as you slowly moved closer. Your eyes flitted between his eyes and his lips. "Kiss me." You said, anxious for him. "I shouldn't, you're not thinking straight."He whispered.
"I am and even if I wasn't, I don't care." you replied "Please."
He gave up his restraint, leaned in and your lips met. His hands moved your waist as you put your hands on either side of his face to bring him closer. The kiss was rough and passionate as if this was long-awaited. His lips felt soft on yours, you pushed him towards your bed and kicked your door shut. You guided him towards your bed, he let you push him onto your bed and you straddled his waist. You sat on directly on his area, grinding on him, your kiss began to get more intense almost needy.
You rushed to take off your nightgown, Azriel put his hands on yours to stop you. "Are you sure?" He asked. He reached to stroke your cheek, you leaned into his touch and nodded. "Yes." He flipped you, so that he was on top of you and his lips brushed against yours softly, he was being more gentle than he was before. Your heart sped up, you could feel it beating out of your chest and you were sure he could hear it. His kiss trailed from your lips, to your cheek, you tilted your head so he can get more access to your neck. He spent his time nipping and sucking, He let his hand wander down to touch your covered core, you let out a shuddered breath. You couldn't remember the last time you were touched.
You woke up the next morning with your bedsheets covering you and Azriel gone. You hadn't expected him to stay. It would've been too awkward, You didn't know what you would've said or even if to say anything at all. Your relationship with Azriel was simple, you spent most of your time together sitting in silence or talking about your day, giving each other advice if needed. You got up and remembered the events from the night before, you didn't know what to think. What if your whole dynamic got thrown off based off one night? At least you knew the wingspan theory was true. You let out a small giggle and smiled to yourself as you got ready for the day.
Your smile soon faded as you went down the stairs and noticed how serious everyone's faces were. Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Cassian, Amren and Azriel was there. There were no signs of the oldest or youngest Archeron sisters. Maps and books scattered everywhere.
"Do we have to do this so early?" You let out an exasperated sigh and plopped down on the couch next to Amren.
"It's almost 1 N/N." Cassian responded. You noticed he had the dagger you bought for him strapped to his side. Your heart skipped a beat. You avoided his gaze and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest.
" Who ate your neck?" Mor almost yelled. You thought Mor was talking about Feyre or Amren, when you noticed everyone looking at you and you almost had a heart attack. You rushed to the nearest mirror and cursed Azriel in your mind.
"Somebody got busy last night." Cassian smirked. You rolled your eyes, "Don't we have bigger things to worry about." You glanced at Azriel and he kept his head down looking severely interested at the pages in the book he held.
The meeting continued. Azriel came back with information about Devlon taking out his anger on females who are just trying to be trained, wearing them out. This infuriated you, knowing first hand how rough things can get and you volunteered to go.
"You're not going by yourself Y/N." Rhysand stated. "You know they won't take you seriously."
"Yeah because I was playing nice, " you pulled out a dagger you had strapped to you thigh. "This time I won't be."
Rhysand gave you a look. You sighed "I don't need a babysitter."
"I know you don't but they do, things can get ugly real quick." You knew he was right, that didn't mean you had to like it. "Cassian will go with you."
'Of course' You thought, internally dreading the conversation you both would have about what happened last night. You would have to come up with something fast. "Fine."
Everyone had their own duties to attend to, you headed straight to your room accidently slamming your door when you closed it behind you. You winced, thinking how it might've sounded like you were a teenager who just got yelled at. A knock on your door kept you from packing your clothes. Mor came in looking worried. "You okay?"
"Yeah why wouldn't I be." Your shrugged.
"You looked pretty upset about going back-" You started to interrupt to reassure her you were fine going back to windhaven but stopped when she finished her sentence, "With Cassian."
"Did something happened between you two? Is he the one who gave you that hickey? Is that why you're acting weird." She bombarded you with questions. You needed to come up with an excuse for that last question knowing she could tell if you lied, she always did.
"One-- Nothing happened, he's just annoying, two-- no and it's not a hickey, last night I opened one of my cabinets and something fell out-"
"Like what, a leech." She laughed at her own joke and you tried to join in, begging you wouldn't ask for more information.
"You know it's not wrong if you wanna have a little fun sometimes Y/N" She came up to you and touched your arm. "You deserve to be happy." She started to help you pack.
"You don't have to help, you can go do whatever you were about to do."
Mor glared at you playfully, "If I didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to kick me out." She looked under your bed and laughed. "Are you hiding your secret lover in here?"
You chuckled at Mor trying to make you feel more comfortable. "No, but now I know where not to hide him next time you come looking."
"Oh so its a him." She smirked. You face palmed yourself internally, she'll never stop bugging you now. "Cass thinks you're mad at him by the way."
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not though."
"You might wanna tell him that before he sulks the entire way there." She said finally and helped you finish packing.
Cassian did in fact sulk the entire way to wind haven, even after you reassured him that nothing was wrong and things were still okay between the two of you. After multiple times of reassurance, he then began to ask questions about the mystery person you were with last night that had marked you up. 'If only he knew' you thought to yourself. Would he care? You doubted it. He would probably applaud Azriel that he finally go over Mor, although that definitely was not the case. If anything last night was a distraction and not just for you, it was probably a distraction for too. Maybe that's why he didn't care whatever lines were crossed. He wasn't drunk enough or drunk at all to not assess the situation before it happened.
You and Cassian went your separate ways, promising to go to him if you needed anything or were in trouble. You told him you could handle yourself but promised anyways, you went to go find Devlon.
There he was, the bastard. As if sensing your gaze he turned smirking as he saw you stalking toward him. You tried to keep your composure knowing he wouldn't do you any favors if you didn't play his little game. "Ah look who we have here, come to scrub my floors again?"You gritted your teeth as Devlon taunted you, reminding of when he took you in after your parents had died.
'Yeah with your face' you thought. You had become his maid until you befriended Rhysand, and the others, who fought to free you from Devlons "care"; Rhysands mother gave you a place in her home. You shuddered at the thought of your past, rem'being why you were here in the first place.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about has been going on around camp." You crossed your arms to keep from reaching for your dagger and throwing it at his head. "There were reports from certain people who were concerned for the females training."
"And who may I ask is making the reports?"
"That's none of your concern, your job is to ensure the females are having proper training-" He interrupted you. "And they will, after they've finished with their chores."
You dug your nails into your hands, "Yes, that was the agreement however more than half of the women who were supposed to be training are now being held up by their chores that for some reason have now piled up and are exhausted by the end of day."
"How is it my problem that they can't keep up? If they can't handle it they should stay where they belong." Your hand slide down to where your dagger was sheathed, the side of your thigh. You were about to split his face open. That was until a hand touched your shoulder, you looked to your right to see Cassian.
"Is there a problem here, Lord Devlon?"
"No I don't believe there is, Commander." An amused tone in his voice had your blood boiling. "Good." Cassian nodded to the camp war-lord.
"Don't let him get under your skin," Cassian whispered in your ear as he pulled you away. You fought the urge to flip Devlon off while you walked away. "Never." You replied.
The rest of the day you spent helping train the girls with Cassian, just like old times.
"Az, you scared the shit out of me!" you clutched your chest. The spymaster had landed right behind you.
"Sorry." He smiled, you thought he should do that more often.
"Warn a girl next time, will you?" You glanced at him, It had been a couple days since you've been sent here and got everything back in order. You hadn't expected anybody else to come by. Not that you weren't glad to see your friend, you just didn't know where you both stood. "What are you doing here anyway? Weren't you supposed to be somewhere else."
"Yes but I thought I'd come check on you." He poked your side.
"Aw how sweet but I'm busy and you'll only get it my way." You patted his shoulder and walked off to get a better view of the warriors training, making sure their sparring didn't turn into actual fighting. You put two girls that weren't so fond of each other to spar and relieve some tension.
"Actually Rhys wanted me to come and check how things are going." He followed you and looked around the camp. "By the looks of it everything seems fine."
"Wow and here I thought I was special." You pouted. He stared at you an unreadable expression on his face.
"Special to who." Cassian came up from behind you and wrapped an arm around you. Azriel tensed up but neither you or Cassian had noticed.
"No one, but hey now that you're here you can watch them while I take a break.” You dragged Azriel somewhere that wasn't surrounded by people.
"C'mon let's go to the cabin, I'm starving and I don't want Devlon and the other Illyrian assholes to judge me."
"I thought you didn't care about them judging you." Azriel replied. You gave him a look, "I don't but I'm too tired to deal with them." That was the last thing you said before he winnowed you both into the cabin.
As you arrived you sat down on the couch your nerves getting to you. Azriels shadows surrounded him. They exposed his nervousness.
summary/request: may i request an azriel x reader where she’s on her period but she’s fae so it’s obviously much harder to cope with? azriel doesn’t know she’s on it and she accidentally snaps at him and he leaves, hurt and wondering what he did, and the reader feels guilty? But they make up at the end? thank you! From anon
a/n: hi, thank you so much for requesting, i loved this one so much! i hope you enjoy it too <333
Azriel sat at the dinner table with the other members of the Inner Circle, picking at his food, clearly troubled. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he missed the concerned glances thrown his way by his family, confused at his uncharacteristic distraction and at your lack of presence at the meal.
Meanwhile, the Illyrian was racking his brain for any potential things he could have done or said that would have led to your outburst earlier that morning.
He had awoken before you, as he did most mornings, and had left you to rest with a delicate kiss on your head whilst he went and prepared some breakfast for you. You were already awake when he returned and at the sight of him and the tray filled with food balanced in his scarred hands, you had burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking yourself inside. He had panicked, gently setting the tray on the bed, before making his way to the locked door, attempting to speak softly to you through it. Most of your response was incoherent through your sniffles and sobs, but he had understood you asking him for some space. He had obliged immediately, not wanting his presence to make you even more distressed, and had gone outside to train alone.
He had stayed there for the majority of the day, not trusting himself to be back at the house and not disturb you. Since returning when Feyre called him down for dinner, he had not seen you once and was even more troubled by your absence from the meal. His mind was whirring, instantly fearing the worst case scenarios.
What if he had said something to upset you? What if he had unknowingly hurt you during your activities the night prior? What if you had awoken and finally realised what he had feared you would since the minute the two of you discovered you were mates: that he was worthless, just a bastard born Illyrian, with horrid scars from his past and who murdered and tortured people for a living? That he was someone so utterly undeserving of your love?
“Az?” He was broken from his thought spiral by Feyre’s concerned voice calling for him, tilting his head up to look at her in surprise. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Apologies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” he responded, giving her a barely there, sheepish smile in the hopes of reassuring her.
“Is Y/N feeling better? Poor girl, of course she isn’t. She must be feeling horrible.” Mor chimed in, pouting sympathetically.
Azriel’s attention snapped to the blonde, eyebrows furrowing as he sat up straighter.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between Mor and Feyre as they shared a look. “Why would she be feeling horrible? Is she alright?”
“She’s on her period, Az. Cauldron, brother, even I knew that.” Cassian chuckled, shaking his head at Azriel’s obliviousness as he took another sip of his drink.
Realisation dawned on Azriel, your emotional outburst making complete sense to him now. He cursed himself for not recognising the signs sooner and for having left you alone all day with nothing but your pain and uncomfort. He stood abruptly from his chair, thanking Feyre briefly for the dinner, before rushing to the stairs and making his way to your shared room.
Upon opening the door, his heart broke at the sight of you curled up in a ball, head buried into the pillows as your hand pressed hopelessly against your stomach. Shame settled in on him for being so oblivious and not being there for you in your time of need.
Your eyes reluctantly flutter open at the sound of the door opening and shutting, widening when they land on him. You slowly unfurl yourself, groaning slightly as you move to sit up, not taking your eyes off of your mate for a second.
“I know you said you wanted space…” Azriel starts, avoiding your gaze as he glances nervously around the room. “So, if you’d like me to leave, then please just-“
“No..” you whisper, cutting him off, the slight pleading in your voice gaining his attention. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. I never should have said that to you or reacted the way I did. You did nothing but be your usual, considerate self but you know how I get.” you continue, voice wavering as you begin to tear up, guilt overcoming you at the vulnerability evident on the shadowsinger’s face. “Oh, Az, I’m so sorry.”
He reacts before he even realises what he is doing, heart aching at the sadness and fear radiating from you down the bond, feeling only the urge to comfort you. He quickly settles himself on the bed beside you before gently grasping you by the waist and pulling you into his lap. You instantly wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as one of his hands comes up to hold your quivering head in place, the other running soothingly up and down your back.
“It’s okay, my love. I’m here now, I’m here. You have nothing to apologise for.” he promises, pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “I should’ve known what this week was, it’s my fault.”
You shake your head, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye.
“No, don’t say that. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault, not yours.” you murmur, Azriel’s eyebrows furrowing in concern as he moves his hands up to cup your face.
“Let’s just agree that it’s nobody’s fault, alright? Nobody but that period of yours.” he smiles fondly at you, eyes brightening when he notes your visible relaxation at his light tone.
“I hate being a woman.” you pout, earning a chuckle from your mate, resulting in a small smile of your own which quickly drops as a wave of pain hits you.
Azriel frowns as your face contorts into an expression of pure discomfort, a small pulse of pain echoing down the bond. He coos softly at you, moving one large hand down to rest over your back, an area he knows to be the cause of some of your worst cramps. You sigh softly as the warmth from his palm seeps into your skin, relieving the ache momentarily as you slump against him.
He smiles, pride sparking within him at his ability to ease your suffering with the maimed hands which he believed would only ever be the cause of people’s suffering. He tilts his head ever so slightly, pressing a delicate kiss to each of your cheeks, followed by one on your nose and then, finally, one on your lips.
You sigh contently against him, his smile widening before he nudges your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to the foot of the bed for the blanket resting there. He brings it up over the two of you, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
He now lay back against the headrest, with you settled comfortably in his lap, legs curled up on either side of him. He rubs soothing circles into the small of your back, his free hand coming up to run through your hair.
“Sleep now, darling. I’ll be here when you awake.” he says, resting his head on top of your own as you relax further into his embrace.
“You promise?” you mumble against his skin, eyelids already heavy as his hands lull you to sleep.