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#azriel acotar x reader
ughthatimagineblog · 2 years ago
azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings; cursing, smut, wink kink, poorly written smut im sorry im not good at this rip, maybe out of character azriel
word count; 4705
warnings; ‘ can i please have a wing kink smut with cassian or azriel? there’s a serious lack of x reader fanfic with these two’
a/n; i needed to create a plot to this and kind of fucked this one up all on my own :) hope yall enjoy (i mean i pray yall like this i cry every day my writing sucks so hard) also i think of matthew daddario as azriel in this hence the gif thank u for coming to my ted talk
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     “I dont need another lecture from the two of you.” You rolled your eyes as you stomped your feet in the mudroom to the townhouse. When you were done cleaning the mud off of your shoes as you seemed fit, you walked away, slamming the door in Azriel and Cassian’s face.      Cassian angrily reopened the door and followed you into the living room where Amren’s ears not-so-subtly perked up. “You can’t just go around picking trouble at the Illyrian camp’s, Y/N. And especially not Devlon’s camp. If he finds out you’re under my supervision and catches you? I’ll never hear the end of it.” Cassian said sternly. Azriel just watched on, his face stern and tendrils of shadow still as the one behind him.     “One; I can’t train properly when you two meatheads are always acting like I’m either A, something made of glass or B, some kind of juvenile who’s less of you. And two; I shouldn’t even /be/ under your “supervision” in the first place! Why is that, huh? I’m not some petulant child!” You shouted at them, having been fed up for a while.       “You sure are acting like one.” Cassian replied, arms crossed. You scoffed, insulted. You looked to Azriel but all he did was glare on at you and when the look of hurt on your face grew, you could have sworn a flash of remorse was seen in his eyes.       “That’s fine. You both can act all high and mighty as you want. I’m not training with either of you anymore. Sign me up for the war camp and I’ll train with them. Properly.” You told Cassian, your voice indicating just how tired of their shit you were.      “Don’t be an idiot. That training takes months to complete. You’d be forced to leave Velaris for months.” Cassian warned. You stopped right in front of them and glanced at Azriel. His expression had gone from stern to slightly worried. You knew why. He was worried you were serious.       So you said, “I know.” Without breaking your gaze with the shadowsinger, and headed up to your room.
     The look in your eyes when you made it clear to Azriel you were leaving twisted the knife in his back that much more. You were right, though. Cassian was too easy on you. He didn’t believe in your ability to keep up. So you often went to places where they didn’t care who you were. Just another person picking a fight. You lost most of the time and came home with bruises.       Not anymore. You packed your bags that night and set out for the camps the next morning. It was uncommon for a non-Illyrian to try and join and most who did were declined. But Devlon knew you were in Rhys’ inner circle and would be reprimanded if he told you ‘no’, so he accepted. And so you lived there. For two trained and lived there. They offered for you to take the boys’ cabin but you respectfully declined. Besides getting allowed in, you didn’t want special treatment.
      Azriel would see you when he came to visit with Cassian. Sometimes he’d stay to train the youth but in reality it was to check in on you. Devlon reported there were no issues. In fact you were quick to learn and at this rate were to participate in the Rite. When Azriel relayed this information at the townhouse Cassian nearly shot out of his seat. “What? No! She can’t!” He shouted.                     “Cassian.” Rhys warned but Cassian barely heard him. “I don’t think she should either.” Azriel said as calmly as he could. He spared a glance at Mor who knew just how frantic Azriel actually was.
      “She’s going to get killed. No female Illyrian has won the Rite in more than a hundred years.” Cassian said. “And Y/N isn’t even Illyrian.” Rhys muttered. Mor looked slightly concerned. In reality she was freaking out. “Can she even participate?”       “The Rite involves wings being bound but that’s the only Illyrian-centric thing about it. Y/N already doesn’t have wings. I see no reason why she can’t and especially because Devlon said she would.” Rhysand stated, looking around. He had known you as long as he had known Azriel and Cassian. You were his friend. But you could also make your own decisions.       “The Rite is in a week.” Azriel stated and everyone looked to him. After leaving that boyhood behind, they often lost track of Illyrian schedule. Everyone stared. Cass spoke up. “Let’s see if she’s ready.”
       The next day they visited the camps again and requested to see you and your training immediately. Luckily, you had gotten up early that morning, done your chores and already begun your training. In this case, it was sparring with a line of Illyrian boys and girls that matched your ranks. You were going against people two times your own size. Cassian held up a hand and turned to Devlon.          “She’s going to get crushed. Should she really be training with those people? This caused Devlon to chuckle. “You should have more faith in your friend, Cassian.” Was all Devlon said before sauntering away.       You noticed the figures approach the edge of the ring right as the referee announced it was time to start. You knew the Illyrian you were fighting. Male.         Tall. Nearly twice your weight. He was arrogant and cocky. You watched him fight the other Illyrians. He left his neck open on his left side constantly. This would be easy.       You feigned a right hit to which he went to block and you took the opportunity to hit his gut. Today was hand to hand combat, your favorite. “You’re not even Illyrian. Weak High Fae bitch.” He snarled as he went in for a hook. You dodged and turned, using your right foot to knock him down along the way. You heard him snarl from behind you. You had your back to him. He saw it as weakness.           You knew it was bait.
       The male got up and charged at you, completely missing when you side stepped him. His size made it difficult to turn around quick enough to block the hit to the liver. When he finally had the chance to get you on your back, from grabbing you from behind and flipping you, you kicked his face. He went in for a right hook once you rolled away. This is what you were waiting for. His right hook made him drop his left arm to which you dodged his hit and instead punched him straight in the throat.        He went down in a sputtering fit of coughs and the referee held your hand in the air to signal you had one. The next Illyrian walked up. Someone equally as big and brutish. This time he was smarter. More of a challenge. You took a hit to the side and face. But that was it. A kick to the knees and a swift left hook and you had knocked the guy unconscious. When you had gone through the entire line of Illyrians waiting to challenge you, you spat blood at the edge of the ring.           Only then did you notice the two Illyrians that had walked up were Cassian and Azriel who were now looking on with a sort of awe.       You rolled your eyes before grabbing a towel and stepping down. They followed. “When did you learn to do all that?” Cassian asked. He had doubts about you before. But now he didn’t doubt you could kick his ass. “When people stopped treating me like I was fragile.” You retorted. You had to be on your way to spar some more. This time you were training with swords and knives. You were excellent at throwing knives and just needed to practice your swordsmanship with your left hand. It was already really good. Just needed perfecting.
      “You’re participating in the Rite?” Cass asked. You stopped and turned to Azriel, only glancing at him. If you looked at him for too long you started to feel guilty again. “I am.” You said matter-of-factly. Cassian sighed. “Good luck. I’m impressed.” Cass whispered, clapping you on the shoulder. “It’s nice to not hear bullshit out of your mouth, Cass.” You joked and he smiled in relief. You were friends with them. But for a while now you just needed to show them you could do more than they thought. “Just take the damn compliment.” Cass smiled for a moment before his eyes went glazed for a moment.       “I need to head back. Rhys is summoning me.” Cass gave you a quick hug and kissed you on the cheek. “Good to know we are on speaking terms again. I’ll come and see you after the Rite is over.” Cassian promised. There was something in his voice though. That worry you recognized. He would come see you when it was over if the Illyrians didn’t kill you first. And almost everyone in this camp wanted you dead.
      When Cass left, you were alone with Azriel. “You did so good.” He congratulated you. You smiled shyly. “Thanks.” You blushed, You had been mad at Azriel before but you could never stay mad at him. You loved him. Mor knew how much you did as well. Well, Mor knew how much you loved each other. You stared into his hazel eyes for a long time. “Az, I-”
      “Y/N, I-” You both started at the same time. You both stopped and started laughing. “Let’s go back to the cabin and talk. I haven’t seen you in a while.” You suggested. He looked puzzled. “Don’t you have training?” He asked. You rolled your eyes and looped an arm through his. “They won’t miss me.”
       “I wanted to say I was sorry for up and leaving like that. Leaving Velaris behind without saying goodbye. I knew I’d be back. I originally planned to only come here to train and then get strong enough to kick you and Cassian’s ass and come back and prove it to you. But,” You trailed off and Azriel nodded.       “But Devlon offered for you to participate in the Rite.” Azriel inquired and you nodded silently. “And you took it.” He clarified. You nodded again. He sighed long and hard. You’d known Azriel for a long time. He was quiet to everyone else but not to you. You understood him. You spared a glance at his hands. The hands you loved so much. The hands you loved to touch even in passing. You wanted nothing more than to hold them. They made him feel flawed. They made you feel safe. He hated them. You adored them. But you knew it was in vain.              You knew Azriel was in love with Mor and no one else. Azriel had lovers before but he told you they really didn’t mean anything to him. You didn’t resent Mor for it either.
      In fact, you had loved her all the same. No hatred there. You loved and supported her. It wasn’t her fault Azriel loved her. So you wouldn’t blame her. Meanwhile Azriel had gotten over Mor a long time ago. He had fallen for you after you routinely bandaged his hands in order for him to train properly.
    “You don’t have to do that.” He tried to stop you as you reached for his wraps. You gave him one of the softest smiles he had ever seen. “It’s alright I don’t mind.” You said simply as you touched one of his hands lightly. “They’re ugly.” He tried to make it sound lighthearted. A joke. “They’re beautiful.” You had whispered but quickly pulled your hand away. “Does it hurt? I’m so sorry I just started touching the scars and I didn’t even-” You began rambling but Azriel chuckled lightly. A sound you wished you’d heard more often. “It doesn’t hurt.”        He smiled down at you. You nodded and began to wrap his hands. 
      You didn’t judge him. You thought his hands were beautiful. He glanced at your hands and found a large scar across the back of your right hand. “What’s that?” He asked, coming to sit closer to you. “When I first got here, I was shit at using a sword with my left hand. So I grit my teeth and slammed my right hand in a doorway. I fractured more than four bones and split my thumb in half. It forced me to learn with my left hand.” Azriel ran his hands over the scar.       “Are you insane?” He asked with disbelief. “I survived.” You looked down at the man examining your hand. You felt at ease with him. He looked so comfortable. His shoes off, leathers tossed on the kitchen table, the blue of his Siphons catching your eye. That color had become your favorite. Now, he was in a pair of skinny jeans and a tee shirt, wings out and relaxed.
      “What if I don’t make it?” You finally let yourself ask. Azriel looked at you. He put a hand up to cup your face and you leaned into his touch. You’d never know what it’s like to be his. That smile that shone so bright when he allowed it. You would never see that again. You would never know what it felt like for those hands to roam your body. You shook the last part from your thoughts.
      “Don’t say that.” He whispered. It was more like a plea. “I might not. I’m not Illyrian. You and Cass and Rhys were the strongest of your age and survived. Barely. But that was because you had each other.” You breathed out. “From what I saw today you’ll kick all of their asses and then come back and kick ours too. Pro tip, arm yourself with the bare minimum. Too many players will be armed to the teeth. It leaves them as targets for those who didn’t bring anything and it gives attackers too many options to kill them with.” Azriel stroked your hair as he spoke to you. He knew the action calmed you.
      When Rhys had gotten back from Under the Mountain you had panic attacks at night of the possibility of Amarantha coming back and taking Azriel instead. He had laid with you until the late hours of the morning, stroking your hair, your legs intertwined until one of you fell asleep.       “I don’t want to live without you Azriel.” You blurted out and his face heated up. “Me neither.” He let himself admit and you let out a breath of relief. He pulled you in for a hug and you came face to face with his wings. The strong and magnificent wings he didn’t need to be a complete and total badass. If he didn’t need them, you didn’t either.
      “I love you, Az.” You whispered. He held you tighter and whispered it back. You smiled. You examined his wings further. The strong membranes that spread across his back. You’d seen them in flight. You’d gotten so close to them before and yet you didn’t know what they felt like.
      A thought popped into you head. You reached forward without thinking and grazed his wing. Immediately he shot up from where he was sitting. You stood up too.        “I’m sorry did that hurt?” You asked. You truly didn’t know. You saw the wings all the time but never asked. Azriel let out a breathy chuckle. “No. They’re just extremely sensitive.” He explained and you made an ‘o’ shape with your mouth. You both stood in silence. “Sorry, I just, especially because it’s you they’re sensitive.” Your face heated up. Azriel mentally smacked himself and the shadows around him closed in on themselves a bit more in embarrassment.       “Wait, so they’re sensitive in what way?” You asked, a grin on your face. Seeing Az flustered was your new favorite sight. His silence told you enough. “Az you don’t need to be embarrassed. When I said I loved you I didn’t mean platonically. You know that right? I love you unconditionally and just because you get a little turned on when I touch your wings doesn’t mean you need to be embarrassed.”
      Azriel looked at you with disbelief. This was another quality about you he loved. You were so honest. All the time. “And if we are being honest, i’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of those hands just roaming my-” You didn’t have a chance to finish your sentence. Az had taken a chance and winnowed to stand right in front of you. He took his face in your hands and kissed you, hard.
      His lips were rough and soft all at the same time. You loved it. Your arms wrapped around his neck. “But what about Mor?” You asked and his voice was husky as he answered. “She knows I love you more.” A small smile played on his lips and you nearly melted as you kissed him again.
      “Mother, you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.” You told him and he smiled the biggest smile you had ever seen on Azriel. “Really, now?” He said, a hint of amusement in his voice as he backed into the couch and sat down. You straddled him. “I need you Az.” You whispered and he looked up at you, his eyes sparkling with innocence. With careful ease he lifted your shirt over your head before picking you up by your thighs and carrying you up the stairs.         You knocked into a few pictures along the way. He offered to winnow but you wanted to feel the journey there. “Such patience.” He commented when your reached the landing. You smirked. “Only for you my love.”
      He grinned when he reached the bedroom, dropping you onto the bed. He tore off his shirt and crawled above you, stretching his wings out to reach their full span. You reached up to stop yourself. “Go ahead.” He whispered before dipping his head down to kiss your neck. You obeyed and went to stroke one of his wings. When your hands made contact you felt him shudder above you. And when you moved your hand you heard a soft whimper come from his lips.
      Azriel pulled away for a moment to look at you. “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.” He smiled, eyes raking all over you. You grinned and flipped him over with ease. “I love you, Shadowsinger.” You whispered, grabbing one of his hands and kissing it. You felt him harden even more under you. You grinned as he leaned up and kissed you once more, his hand bracing your back as he stood laid you back down under him. Az pulled away only to slowly drag your jeans down and your underwear off.
      You felt exposed to the cool air but quickly warmed up as Azriel’s mouth attached to your core. “Y-You don’t have to do this.” You manages to stutter out. Azriel’s eyes flicked to yours and he lifted up to meet your face. “As long as it feels good, I want to. I want to make you feel good.” He whispered, nipping at your ear. You shuddered as he trailed kisses back down.
      When he reached the slit, he licked a long stripe upwards and when he reached your clit he settled for nibbling on the bundle of nerves. “Fuck you taste so good.” Only a few times in your life have you heard any real obscenities come out of Azriel’s mouth. Hearing it now only made you wetter.
      He kitten licked a few times before sticking his tongue inside as deep as he could, bringing his thumb up to put pressure on your clit. You felt ecstatic. Like your nerves were on fire and it was just you and Az and no one else for miles. In Night Court. In Prythian.
       “Az.” You whispered his name like a prayer. He only hummed against your body in reply. “Az your mouth. Holy shit.” You could only mutter as you felt the familiar feeling of your muscles in your body tightening all at once. “Azriel.” You moaned out, feeling you twitch at the sensations.
      His fingers gripped your hips tighter before you felt his touch disappear all together. You whined as a response, opening your eyes. He stood before you and one of his hands reached out to caress your face.       You grinned, biting your lip, sitting up and moving to crawl towards him. Az’s hand cupped your face and pulled you up slowly to meet his. When his lips touched yours you melted, hands going for his jeans and unbuttoning them carefully.      When he slipped his jeans and underwear off you were in awe. “I guess the wingspan theory is true.” You smirked at him, switching places and guiding him to lay down. You followed and went to straddle him, rubbing yourself on his cock.       He nearly cried out from the touch.
“You’re so hot, writhing under me like that.” You smirked and Azriel rolled his eyes as he bit his lip. You lifted yourself to align his cock with your slit and finally slid down, moaning as you did so.     “Fuck.” Az moaned out, quickly flipping you beneath him. “Touch my wings while I fuck you. It feels so fucking good when you touch them.” He spoke through what sounded like strained breathes. Your hands reached up and softly stroked his wings.
      “Im yours.” You said dreamily through the pleasure. Az moaned out your name. “You’re mine, Y/N.” He opened his eyes and stared down at you. “I have waited so long to feel this, baby. You’re perfect.” You told Az and with one hand reached down to touch his hands.       You brought his right hand up to your mouth and kissed as he slammed into you. Everything felt lovely and sensual and purely erotic all at once. And now that you knew Az liked to have his wings touched, you would use that to your advantage.
      You used your nails to lightly scratch and drag your fingers down his wings. Azriel automatically moaned out and his wings fluttered, filling the room with cool air. “Bad girl.” He slammed into you just a bit harder this time, causing you to moan out.
      “That’s it, moan for me.” Azriel commanded, bringing one of his hands to roam over your breasts. “I love these.” He nearly growled and you felt a muscle tighten in your stomach. “Fuck, Shadowsinger.” You moaned and he grinned, dipping his head to kiss your neck. “You gonna cum for me baby?” You moaned out as he spoke.
    All you could do is nod. “I’m so close.”
      “Don’t come til I say.” You told you, pulling away from your neck. Your toes curled as you tried to hold in the pleasure. “Wait.” He commanded. “You’re doing so good baby.” He whispered and you finally used your strength to stroke one long stripe across his wings and he growled.       “Come for me. Now.” So you did. You let him unravel you. And in turn he did too. You felt his body twitch above you before he pulled out and collapsed next to you.       You both stayed quiet for a long time before Azriel piped up. “Did you mean it?” He asked through the warm glow of sunlight through the cabin. “What?” You asked, rolling over onto your side, pulling the blankets up around you. “When you said you were mine?” He whispered, bringing a hand up to move hair from your eyes but stopping himself. You smiled and moved to force his hand to touch your face. “Yes. I mean’t it. If you’d have me. Az I have loved you for so long.”           You told him and his smile widened.       “I mean’t it too.” He smiled, propping himself up and kissing your cheek. “I guess this is a good luck gift. For the Rite.” Azriel caressed your skin. OH YEAH. You thought to yourself. I have that too.
      Azriel, Rhys, Cassian, Mor and Amren all lined the treeline to the Illyrian forest where the Rite had been taking place. The traditional Alumni scouts had reported only four contestants remained. Rhys had promised everyone he wouldn’t cheat by accessing your mind while you competed. The competition had really only been going on for a week now. It was moving faster than any other Rite before.       “Do you think she’s made it this far? Or. . .” Mor let herself trail off as she looked up to Cassian. Her arm was looped through his and Azriel caught himself staring. Not because he was jealous or concerned or wished it was him. But because he noticed that for once in his life he felt none of those things. He had you. You had said so. Now, he just hoped he didn’t lose you the moment he got you.
      “I think we should all have a little more faith in-” Amren stated, standing as tall as she could. The announcer interrupted the small woman to announce an update. It was predicted that the Rite would end today. It was why Rhys was there. He was given his own section of course, but he was there with what seemed like fifty other Illyrian families. Rhys felt for them for only a moment before noting their faces. They expected this. They weren’t going to weep when they didn’t see their son or daughter or brother or sister emerge from those woods. They were going to cheer for whoever did emerge from those woods.             Because they were the true warriors.       “Four contestants remain and make their way to the north side of the mountain.” The exit. Like they were instructed. Where their families awaited their return. “They will arrive in what is estimated to be ten minutes.” The announcer quit speaking and retired to the watchtower.
      “Well,” Amren said, taking a swig from her bottle of wine. “We will find out if little Y/N is stronger than we thought soon enough.” She sighed, walking away. Mor gripped Cassian tighter in worry and Azriel found Rhys staring at him. “I know.” Rhys held up a hand and set it on Az’s shoulder, guiding them to walk.             “How did you-” Azriel asked. “I caught on after you started visiting the camps more often. You smiled more. Your shadows were less rigid. I never looked into your mind. Or hers. I just knew.” Rhys said calmly.       They walked in silence for a while after that, occasionally stopping for Rhys to say ‘Hi’ to some scattered Illyrian children. But Azriel finally stopped. “I love her.” Azriel said softly. “I know.” Rhys replied. Azriel was about to say something when the siren went off and they only had time to spare some glances before racing back to the Inner Circle’s post.       In the distance, past a short line of trees, Azriel and his friends could make out four figures limping towards the finish line. As they got closer he made out you hanging off the arm of an Illyrian male no older looking than a human age of thirty, and opposite of you, another Illyrian boy and girl your age.       You looked like hell. Your hair was a dirty mess and your clothes were torn nearly to shreds. Your face was bruised on one side and the Illyrian male who was with you was helping you walk. But your eyes landed on Azriel’s and Rhys’ and Mor’s and Amren’s and you forgot about your injuries. A smile spread from ear to ear as you abandoned your ally and bolted for where your friends waited.         Something swelled within your chest as you ran and ran despite your lungs already burning.
      But Azriel caught you as you fell into his arms all dirty and broken. He caught you and he stroked your hair as your friends surrounded you both in a hug. “I did it.” You said in disbelief. You made it through the Rite. You were one of Prythian’s true Illyian warriors without being an Illyrian.
       You were home. And with the love of your life. You made it. And they couldn’t be more proud.
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illyrian-shadows · 6 months ago
someone better
azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: self doubt/insecurity, slightly angsty, fluff
word count: 1288
summary: you know azriel loves you, but you can’t help but feel like he could do better.
a/n: ok so this wasn’t requested but i wanted to write something with my favourite bat boy to kick start this account so i hope you enjoy! requests are open :)
“You know you’re being completely ridiculous, right?”
You groan, removing your hand from its position across your eyes as you glance over at Cassian lounged beside you on the bed.
“I didn’t invite you here to insult me, Cass. You’re supposed to be comforting me.” you whine, Cassian shaking his head with a chuckle in response.
“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t comfort you over something that doesn’t exist, Y/N/N.” he retorts, reaching out to poke you playfully in the side. “I mean, do you even hear yourself?”
“Of course I hear myself. And to me, I sound perfectly reasonable.” you grumble, sitting up and running a hand through your hair in frustration.
“Alright, let me get this straight. You think that Azriel, your mate of over 500 years, is cheating on you? Azriel, the man who has been hopelessly in love with nobody but you for said 500 years? That Azriel?” Cassian asks, eyebrows quirking up in amusement. “You’re insane.”
You roll your eyes, standing up from the bed and beginning to pace the length of it, anxiously chewing at your bottom lip.
“I never said I thought he was cheating on me, Cass. I know that Az would never. I was merely saying that maybe he’s decided that he wants a change.” you explain, stopping before him as he rests his chin on his hands whilst listening to you. “I mean, you said it yourself. We’ve been together for over 500 years now. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to experiment with someone new. Someone better.”
Any amusement on Cassian’s face disappears at the utter seriousness of your words. He stands quickly, placing one hand on your shoulder and grasping your chin gently with the other, forcing you to look at him.
“Hey, woah, what are you talking about? Azriel loves you. He would never want better and could never do better than you. You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” he reassures, heart aching at the sight of one of his closest friends looking so vulnerable before him.
“What if you’re wrong? What if he’s not happy anymore?” your voice breaks, lip trembling as your words sink in.
What if he wasn’t happy anymore? What if you were the reason he was unhappy? What if he’s only still with you to spare your own feelings? What if-?
You’re so lost in your own spiral of thoughts that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps of your mate, only becoming aware of his presence when it’s too late.
“What’s going on?” his cool voice breaks the silence that has befallen upon the room, his eyes flitting between you and Cassian before landing upon Cassian’s hands on your face, his jaw clenching tightly in response.
Cassian notices his mistake and quickly removes his hands, stepping back from you sheepishly and moving to stand beside Azriel. He offers his brother a sympathetic smile before leaving the room, throwing you a quick thumbs up over Azriel’s shoulder.
“What was that about?” Azriel questions, voice cold and shadows swirling dangerously around his tightly closed fists. “Are you-“
He cuts himself off abruptly when he sees the tears running down your cheeks, face falling at the sight.
“What happened, my love?”
He quickly moves to you, instinctively reaching for your hand. You flinch away, Azriel freezing at the action, instantly pulling his scarred hand back to his side.
“Did I-“ he begins, voice breaking slightly and shadows closing in around himself, almost as if he is trying to protect himself from any potential responses you may give. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“Do you still want to be with me?” you blurt out.
Azriel flinches back as if you’ve struck him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Of course I do. Why would you ever ask such a thing?”
You shake your head, more silent tears falling as you begin to pace before him again.
“I wouldn’t blame you, you know? 500 years with one person is sure to be tedious, especially considering that person is me.” you admit, laughing bitterly. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted something new.”
Azriel just stares at you in disbelief, racking his brain for all the things he’s done and said that could have possibly made you feel like this.
“Something new? Darling, what- did Cassian say something to you? To make you think these ridiculous things?” he asks, voice hardening at the thought.
“What? No. Of course not.” you respond, pausing your pacing but still not meeting the Illyrian’s eyes. “And it’s not ridiculous, Az. It’s okay. I’ve seen the way you look at Elain and it’s fine-“
“Woah, woah, woah” he interrupts you, stepping closer until he’s standing right before you. “The way I look at Elain? What on earth are you talking about?”
You sigh, finally meeting his eyes and he swears his heart breaks at the utter defeat and despair he finds within them.
“Ever since she’s arrived you’ve spent most of your time with her. You’ve accompanied her to the garden, you’ve taken her on walks around Velaris and it’s okay, Azriel.” you say, smiling sadly at the man you love. “I understand if you want to try something different. Elain’s lovely and I’m sure she could make you very happy and that’s all I want for you, so-“
“Stop.” Azriel tells you firmly, removing any distance between the two of you as he reaches for you, cupping your face delicately between his scarred fingers. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again.”
You can only stare back at him in surprise, eyes searching his face for any indication of what he’s feeling but all you find there is anger and pain.
“How could you ever think that? That I would ever want to be with anyone who isn’t you.” he shakes his head. “You’re my mate. The love of my life. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember and you are it for me. You’re my past, my present and my future and no one else could ever compare to you. Sure Elain’s a sweet girl, but she’s only a friend. She is not and could never be you.”
Tears begin to cloud your vision once again at his declaration, a small sob escaping your throat as you surge forward, clutching his shirt tightly in your hands as you press your lips to his.
He responds immediately, one hand staying on your cheek whilst the other moves around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. He tries his best to express his love and adoration for you through the kiss but he knows deep down that no words or actions will ever be able to convey his overwhelming love for you.
You break the kiss, breathless as you rest your forehead against his. You tilt your head slightly to press a kiss to the tips of his fingers as they lightly graze your features, earning a shudder in response from the winged male before you.
“You promise you’ll tell me if you ever want out? I don’t want to be the cause of your unhappiness, Az.” you say, voice quiet and laced with anxiety.
“You could never make me unhappy, Y/N. Cauldron, you have made me the happiest man alive, even though I still believe I don’t deserve you. I fall more and more in love with you everyday and I thank my lucky stars for whichever god decided to give me the blessing of having you as my mate.” he confesses, eyes fluttering closed as a few tears of his own fall. “I love you. And I will gladly spend the rest of eternity proving that to you.”
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Unrequited pt. 2
azriel (acotar) x reader
*this is part 2! Sorry for the wait guys! I really struggled with this and low-key I don’t like it but I hope y'all do! I wanna write the scenes after this but idk how im gonna make it work lol. anyway, enjoy!
word count: 3193
What you hadn’t realized was that Azriel left a few minutes later, walking to your apartment to make sure you had gotten home safe.
All of a sudden he heard whimpers and labored breathing coming from the alley.
Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you laying on the ground and bleeding out. He felt a tug in his chest. A click. Panic instilled in him as he gently but swiftly picked you up and flew you to Madja.
“Hang on y/n, you’re so strong” he whispered
In those moments, he feared for you. Fear that was so strong. Something he had never felt before.
He rushed into the house laying you on the bed gently before he was shoved out by the Madja so she could try to save you.
Azriel alerted the others and then collapsed into a chair, sitting in silence. A tear slipped out of his eye at the thought he may have been too late to save you.
You. His mate.
Why, of all the times did the bond have to click while you were on the brink of death. In a situation where you may not make it out alive. It wasn’t fair.
He wondered if you had known. Could that be the reason why you had been distancing yourself from him? Because you didn’t expect or want him to be your mate? But if you had known you would’ve said something, right? You wouldn’t keep it a secret? So many thoughts kept racing through his head.
Could it have been because of Elain? He knew the inner circle wasn’t stupid, they all saw him drifting more and more to Elain. Could that have been why you had distanced yourself? He would be lying if he said he didn’t like Elain, but he would also be lying if he said he didn’t like you.
Your stubbornness. Your generosity. Your sense of adventure. The way you could get lost in the things you did.
Suddenly the door swung open and the others came into the room, worry written all over their faces.
Azriel could tell that Cassian and Mor had been crying on the way there.
“How bad is it?” Mor shook as she spoke. You could see the pain in her eyes. The worry she had for someone who was basically her sister.
Azriel’s expression was unreadable and he didn’t respond.
“Do you think she will make it?” Feyre asked, grief evident in her posture. “I- I don’t know” Azriel answered, “It was pretty bad,” he said quietly.
Just as he answered, Madja appeared from the other room. “She’s in rough shape, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it through the night. She lost a lot of blood.”
The room grew eerily quiet
“She’s stable for now, but I will stay here and notify you if any changes occur.”
Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain went back to the townhouse to try and get as much rest as they could. Mor, Cassian, and Azriel decided to stay in your room with you.
Tears started slipping from Cassian’s eyes once he saw your fraile body lying in bed, barely hanging on.
“Oh mother” Mor sobbed out, a hand slipping over her mouth. She went over to the bed you were on, gently sitting on it and grabbing to hold your hand. She leaned against the headboard and watched as your chest heaved.
The trio sat in silence for some time, watching your every move, your breathes, whimpers, and shifts.
Azriel broke the silence.
“She’s my mate. All this time and I never knew.”, the sentence coming out as a whisper.
Shock was painted on Mor’s face. “Y/n’s your mate? How di-? When?”
“It clicked when I saw her body lying there.” his voice started breaking “Why did it have to happen right now. Of all the times. Why couldn’t it have happened months ago. I could’ve had more time. This never would have happened. How do I move on from this?” his voice ending on a whisper.
“All you can do is hope to mother that she has the strength to pull through.” Cassian replied softly. “You know, this whole situation is so ironic.”, he said softly to himself, lightly shaking his head.
Azriel gave Cassian a look of confusion, wondering what he was talking about, but decided to drop it for now.
“Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep and pray the morning holds better news”
Mor had dozed off, back against the headboard and hand still holding yours. Cassian was sitting in the chair, head resting on the palm of his head, it still took him a few hours to fall asleep completely. Azriel, however, couldn’t sleep. The thought of sleeping while you laid like this. He felt guilty, the feeling that he may have been too late. For the rest of the night, Azriel sat in a chair next to your bed, shrouded in darkness, hoping you would be ok.
Sunlight peeked through the sheer blinds over the balcony door. The faint sound of birds singing flowed through the air. Light shined onto your face, causing you to groan. Groggily, you opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light filling the room. Your head pounded and you winced as you shifted in bed.
“Y/n?” you heard a whisper. You mumbled in response. “Oh! Thank mother you’re alright! We were all so worried for you. Wait, let me call Madja now that you’re up.” Mor rambled on causing you to smile slightly. “CASSIAN!” she squealed “Wake up! Look! Y/n is awake!”
Cassian jumped to his feet at her shout. “Oh my god!” he ran over to your side “I was so worried, I’m so glad you’re alright” he said, taking your hand into his. “Let me go call the others, they’ve been waiting for an update.”
Soon after, the rest of the inner circle came over to your room to check in and Madja came to see how you were healing.
“That was quite the wound you had. Make sure to rest for the next two weeks. No buts, we don’t want this opening back up from stress or straining activity.”. You groaned at the thought.
“But I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal! I can go back to doing my duties in 2 days. I’ll be good as new.” you pleaded, trying to convince Madja and yourself. Before she could respond, Rhys cut in.
“You will do nothing of the sort. You just got stabbed for cauldrons sake, if i catch you trying to do anything remotely straining, i’ll lock you in your room and have Cassian stand guard in front of it”
“Fine” you grumbled out
“Now that everything is settled, i’ll be coming to check on you every few days.” Madja states before leaving
After a little more small talk was exchanged, the inner circle decided to leave you to rest a bit more, but promised they would visit you as frequently as they could.
Except, one person stayed behind.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Is something wrong?” you asked
After a hesitant pause his voice rang out. “We’re mates.”
You felt a blow to your chest. When did he find this out? As if Azriel had read your thoughts, he responded “Last night. After I found you.”
“But, Cassian said something, how it was ironic, and I can’t help but wonder how long you’ve known”
“I-, I told Cassian that we were mates yester-”
“But how long have you known y/n.” his voice quiet and sharp as a knife, as if tendrils of anger were waiting to escape
“Since the diplomatic mission Rhys sent us on”, you whispered. You could feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
“That was months ago and you didn’t think to tell me?” You could feel the anger in his voice
“I thought you would have figured it out sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” tears started falling from your eyes
“You knew and said nothing. Why didn’t you say anything? You should have said something” he seethed. His anger was unhinged, a drastic change for the usually calm and collected shadowsinger.
“If you didn’t want to be my mate just tell me. I’d be glad to be rid of the bond.”. As soon as he said it, he regretted it. His anger dissipated. He looked up and saw your face, tears streaming down.
“I see the way you look at Elain, Azriel. I’m not some stupid fucking female. How do you think it feels to see your mate all over someone else. I wanted to give you a chance to find your own happiness without me burdening you with this. And if we’re being honest, if you had to choose between me or her, you would choose her. I knew you would be disappointed by me. I knew you wouldn’t want to be my mate, that's why I didn’t tell you.” your anger started boiling up. “Do you think it feels good to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve loved for a long time? I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I was your mate, the person you’ve waited so long for.” your voice tapered off at the end. “Can you leave please” you said softly
“No, wait, I’m sorry I-“
“Azriel. Get out.” your voice boomed through the room.
He left reluctantly, softly shutting the door behind him. Just as the door shut, the sobs that you had been desperately trying to hold back broke free. Your body shuddered as you hugged yourself, crying yourself back to sleep.
During the following weeks, you avoided Azriel at all costs. As soon as he walked into the room, you would walk out. Any required conversations were kept short. You did anything you could to keep your mind off of him, cleaning, errands, hell you did it all. It certainly didn’t help your recovery, but you did what you could to keep your mind busy and off of Azriel.
“Y/n stop please. You need to rest, how many times do we have to tell you. You’re only making the healing process longer” Mor ranted on.
“I’m fine, I doubt a wound, which is almost healed by the way, would be damaged by me doing chores” you emphasized as you rolled your eyes
“Maybe not by chores, but it is affected by your stress”
A moment of silence passed.
“He feels terrible, you know, he didn’t mean to say it. He just wants to talk to you.”. Mor didn’t risk saying his name because she knew it would only anger you more.
“Well I don’t want to talk to him, or deal with him, or see him, or think about him. At all.”. You grumbled. Your heart clenched, but you brushed it aside.
“Y/n, please. I love you two and it hurts to see our family like this right now.”
“Please, can we drop it, I-“ your voice cracked
“Yeah, of course. Just… keep an open mind, maybe?”
“Yeah, ok” you looked down.
“I’ll see you later tonight then, for Rhys and Feyre’s dinner party.”
“Sounds good.”. You pressed your lips into a tight smile as you watched Mor walk off. You had definitely contemplated not going today. All of the inner circle certainly knew what happened, maybe not all the details, but still enough, which made you feel exposed. You weren’t use to having your emotions splayed out to everyone like that, and it made you too vulnerable. However, Mor had threatened to pull you to the party herself if you refused to go, so being complicit seemed like the best option.
It was just one night. You would be fine… right?
It was nearing 8 as you finished getting ready for the party, which started at 8:30. You were wearing an olive green silk midi dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was still very elegant. And comfortable. You were touching up as Mor arrived.
“Ah, there she is, beautiful as ever.”
“I could say the same about you, darling” you emphasized
“Are you ready to go, I heard the party is getting started, and you know I wouldn’t want to miss all the cocktails”
A laugh mused on your face. You grabbed your purse before the pair of you winnowed to the house.
You arrived at the front door, scanning the scene when you got there. It was a cozy ballroom with french doors which opened up to a huge balcony leading to the gardens. There was a huge dining table in the center with plenty of space to mingle in clusters.
You hadn’t spotted Azriel yet, a sigh of relief leaving your body. You strutted in, arms linked with Mor, grabbing a drink off the platter. You weren’t even sure who or what this party was for, but you realized you had downplayed it after spotting Helion and Tarquin. The high lords in Velaris. But that was the least of your concerns, the only thing you were focused on was avoiding Azriel.
Spotting Feyre near Helion, you breezed over to say hi.
“Ah! Y/n! Helion, i’m sure the two of you have met a few times before!” Feyre smiled out
“Yes, I do remember you! I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?” He asked
“Much better than the last few weeks, that’s for sure. Although I must say, this alcohol is certainly helping” you giggled. “Well I just wanted to pop over and say hi, but I think I’m gonna go find Cassian now. It was so nice to see you again Lord Helion, enjoy your evening.”
“You too Miss Y/L/N”
You dipped your head towards the both of them before making your way through the room to find Cassian. Where was he for caldrons sake. You hadn’t seen him in a week because he had to go up to the illyrian war camps again. Pushing your way through the crowd, you bumped into a hard chest, spilling your champagne. Cursing to yourself, you started to apologize.
“Oh mother, I’m so so sorry, clums-“. Looking up your y/e/c eyes met strong hazel ones, which were burning into your soul. You felt your throat close up, starting to feel trapped in the crowed room
No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to talk to him, but you couldn’t do it now. Before he could say a word, you pushed past him and bolted out to the balcony to get some fresh air. You had run to the corner, near the steps to the garden, out of sight from others. Taking deep breaths, you calmed your nerves. You would be ok, everything was fine. It would be fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
You decided to quickly go grab another drink before returning to the serenity outside. Leaning against the balcony, you stared out at the stars and the gardens. They were so beautiful, even in the winter, you thought to yourself. You basked in the silence, your thoughts drowning you.
Some time had passed before you heard footsteps approaching you on the balcony. You knew who it was without having to turn around, but you still couldn’t bear to be around him. You turned to leave but his hand caught your wrist, holding it firmly. You could feel the scars from his hands against your skin.
“Please. I just want to talk”
“What’s there to talk about Azriel, you made your feelings clear that day.”
“Just listen, please, and then i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you wish”
You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. You couldn’t keep balling up your emotions.
He led you back to the railing of the balcony before his grasp left your wrist. You tilted your head down looking at your feet and fiddling with your thumb.
“I spent 500 years pining after Mor because I was so afraid of maybe having a chance at love. I thought it was best to love someone who would never love me back so I wouldn’t get hurt. Then I met Elain. She helped me to open up more, and helped me to believe that happiness would be possible for me, with someone. I had given up on the idea of having a mate. I didn’t think I deserved one. I was ok with that and had accepted that.”
He let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, light curls falling onto his forehead. “When I saw you lying there and the bond clicked, I was so mad at myself. I shut out the possibility of having a mate for so long. You were my mate. My mate. I never thought I would be able to say those words.”
He paused.
“I was mad that you may not make it. I was mad that I didn’t find you soon enough. I was mad that we didn’t have more time. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I Just wanted you to be ok. And then when you told me that you had known for so long, I was angry. Angry that I hadn’t realized sooner, and angry that you kept it from me because you may not have wanted me or expected me to be your mate. And I snapped. Then you said the thing that I had least expected. You said you had loved me” He chuckled dryly. “I am so sorry, y/n, so very sorry.”.
His hand reached down to cup your face. He jerked your head up so you were looking at him. “What i’m trying to say is that I love you, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore”.
The air had been knocked from your lungs. Your heart swelled and your eyes watered. Before you had realized what you were doing, your lips crashed into his. His mouth fit perfectly against yours. He was a breath of fresh air with a hint of mint. Azriel’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you into his body and he smiled against your lips. It felt so right. Everything about it. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you both pulled away, breathless. Your forehead rested against his.
You whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled you in for another kiss, his wings forming a cocoon around you. This one was more demanding. Passionate. A promise. You pulled away from his mouth and leaned against him, his arms wrapping around you.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Azriel said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box. “It’s your Solstice gift, I was trying to find a good time to give it to you.”, he scratched the back of his head.
You gently took it from his hand. The box had a red ribbon wrapped around. Undoing the ribbon, You opened the box to find one of the beautiful necklaces you had been admiring with Mor. “Oh my Az. Its so beautiful. I love it. How did you know?”
“I may have had my shadows follow everyone around to find out what they wanted.” he laughed out.
You smiled. “Will you help me put it on?”. Handing the dainty chain to Azriel, you brushed you hair aside. Baring your neck to him. His fingers ghosted the soft skin, clasping the necklace together. He tenderly placed a kiss next to your ear, causing butterflies to erupt.
You cleared your throat. “I think we’ve been gone long enough. Would you like to get some food, Azriel?” you smiled.
“I would love to, my darling mate.” he paused before darkly saying “I am especially excited for the part that comes after I eat.”. You lightly smacked his shoulder before the two of you made your way inside, beaming.
taglist ---
@minnie-mitzel @itsbebeyyy @preciousbabymuffins @kexrtiz @vicisbookishblog @peneflop @millianec @agentsofsheilds 
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hornsandthings · 11 months ago
come as you are
pairing: azriel (ACoTaR) x reader
summary: in the evening before a high-profile banquet, reader feels a little out of place. azriel reassures her that he fell in love with them just as they are.
notes: oof bad summary, but this is fluffy and azriel is real romantic in this one <3 eg. the line “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.” 
you shuffled your feet as you made your way to the living room, having heard azriel arrive home a few minutes ago. your gown clung to you, making you uncomfortable in all kinds of ways. it was disappointing, frankly - weeks of preparation, of confidence, and now you felt embarrassed, wearing what you were. it felt like a costume. it was silly - you had meticulously observed the court’s fashion trends, taken cue from azriel’s friends - you knew the dress was appropriate. but for some reason, you felt like an impostor in it.
there azriel was, sitting on the couch. his wings curved along the back, sharp talons gleaming. you sidled up behind him, curling an arm over his chest as you rested your chin on his head.
“my love,” he greeted, warmth in his voice as he entwined his fingers with yours. you sighed as you shifted, nudging your head against his. he looked up at you, his shadows faintly curling over his ears. perhaps your expression was particularly morose, because he squeezed your hand just a little tighter. “long day?”
“just another day,” you mumbled, shrugging. azriel’s brows rose when you rounded the couch, finally allowing him to see the gown. it was no surprise to him - he had been so patient with your fussing, asking for his input on what colours would compliment your skin and hair and eyes the best. at first he had been vague, telling you things like you’d look beautiful in anything and just wear what you like, but once he realised the whole thing actually really distressed you, azriel tried his best to be more specific, despite meaning what he’d initially said. your preoccupation had concerned him, but he dismissed it as excitement. but now, the way you behaved - sheepish, uneasy, reluctant - made him really worry.
“you’re as beautiful as ever,” he said, taking your hand and guiding you closer. resting his hands on your hips, he didn’t miss your tight smile at his words. “are you ready for tonight?”
you weren’t. not for the first time, you couldn’t help but think of how different you were to his friends in the inner circle. even the company they kept - other courts’ princes, captains of the guard… influential people. you were nowhere near as affluent or powerful. compared to them, you were so average, just another citizen in velaris. frankly, you found it ridiculous to believe that azriel had ever deigned to take interest in you in the first place. all this insecurity had been funneled into your obsessive preparation for tonight’s banquet, where you’d be in such esteemed company. you were scared that if you made a misstep, you’d embarrass not only yourself, but azriel too.
unable to meet his eyes, you said, “just my hair.”
he frowned at that, but didn’t press. “let me,” he said, taking your hand again as he led you to the bedroom. there was a long, full-length mirror there, reflecting azriel’s actions as he sat on the bed after finding your brush. he was still in his leathers, yet to change into his set of black finery.
you were taken aback that azriel had taken the duty upon himself, but didn’t comment. what you didn’t know - but what shouldn’t have been such a big surprise - was that azriel had paid attention to the styles which had caught your eye in the past. in informal gatherings with the inner circle, he’d seen the way you had looked at feyre’s intricate braids - with longing, and sometimes even with envy.
as you made to sit, azriel grabbed your elbow. “not on the floor.” you stifled a chuckle - it was rather his aversion to grime and impropriety that made him say it instead of concern for your dress.
“i’m fine here,” you insisted, smile pulling at your mouth. the gown pooled around you as you sat at his feet, facing your reflection. curling your arms around his shins, you pressed a quick kiss to his knee. he caressed your bare skin from shoulder up to neck, his scars rough but familiar. as azriel ran his hands through your hair for a few moments, some tension left your jaw - you hadn’t even realised the thought of the banquet had you gritting your teeth the whole time.
you watched him through the mirror as he started to brush your hair, wondering how he felt about tonight. he wasn’t really one for social events, but he was one to indulge those he loved. it should’ve made your heart warm, but instead you felt that tell-tale stinging of the nose and blinked back tears.
it had been an adjustment to accept - if you ever truly had accepted - the juxtaposition of your and azriel’s worlds. coming to know the affluence of the inner circle and azriel’s wealth… it had posed some challenges you two had to overcome. he didn’t boast his wealth - lived rather modestly, in fact - but the fact that money was rarely an object for any of the inner circle grated at you. every time you saw them, they seemed untouchable - the most beautiful gowns, priceless jewelry, big houses, such luxury up at the house of wind. their sheer intelligence, the level of their wit - you sometimes felt like you couldn’t keep up. it was easy to be envious, and indeed sometimes you wished you were a person of importance to the court, if only to feel more worthy of azriel.
“what’s on your mind?” he asked gently, fingers starting to work your hair into braids in a loving, lingering manner. it felt so comforting, it felt so safe.
“am i doing this right?” you blurted, and his movements stilled, but only for a moment. “we’re from such different worlds, azriel. do you ever wish i had been someone better?”
“better?” he scoffed, such an overt gesture for the usually stoic man. “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.”
you sighed, voice tight and heavy with emotion when you spoke again. “i can’t compare to the inner circle. ever. i’m nobody, azriel. i’m not anyone of consequence. i’m not even attractive enough to just be a trophy mate. i can’t understand why you ever--”
“stop.” it was quiet, firm, solemn. you tried to place his expression, but this time you really couldn’t read him. “why do you say such things?” you ignored the hypocrisy - azriel was certainly no stranger to self depreciation. “would you really give up your current life for these things? do i not… do i not make you happy? do you want more?”
azriel rarely stumbled over his words, and the hesitancy immediately clutched at your heart. you shook your head, a harsh jerk, but azriel’s voice was stern. “keep still.”
“it’s not you!” you growled, gripping his legs tighter as you tried to avoid your reflection. heat flushed your cheeks and chest, anger and frustration colouring your skin. “i’m not—i’m not made of the same stuff as you, azriel. don’t i bore you?”
heart racing, palms sweating. the ensuing silence rang loud. you risked a glance at the mirror, but azriel was merely letting the hairstyle take shape. his non-answer was making your outburst feel childish, but then he gently nudged your chin.
the mirror reflected back exactly what you’d envisioned for yourself, and yet, you were too drained to be happy about it. “looks lovely, azriel. thank you.”
he touched your shoulder; a request. rising to straddle his lap, you swallowed hard as he gently held your face in his hands. if he were someone else, the intensity of his gaze might have been intimidating, but you knew he was merely gathering his thoughts. “you’re you, and that’s very important. i fell in love with you. fate has decided my other half is you, just as you are. peace with you is not boring, my love,” he said, a strange half-chuckle escaping him. “and comparison won’t do; it is for people like you who we work to protect. your role in velaris isn’t without impact - you’ve touched many lives, whether they were kin or not. your effect cannot be erased. it certainly cannot be undone on me.”
“azriel,” you whispered, unsure of what else to say. his shadows had started to snake around you, intangible things trying their best to give comfort.
“is this why you’re anxious about tonight? because you feel the need to prove yourself?” you looked away, and while his thumb caressed your cheek, he didn’t try to force your gaze. “sweetheart,” he sighed, “my love for you is unconditional.”
and finally the tears rolled. you whimpered as you clutched at his back, pressing close to hide your face against his neck. azriel rarely spoke so much - it was usually nonverbal with him. to hear these things uttered so genuinely, so adoringly - it overwhelmed your heart.
“i love you so much, azriel. so very much.”
he held you tight, pressing a kiss to your temple. “don’t undo all my hard work, mind you,” he murmured wryly, making you laugh as you reflexively touched a braid. “stop it,” he insisted, nose rubbing against yours as he grabbed your careless hand, and then you were really laughing, because now azriel was grinning too and his fingers were entwining with yours and you were almost feeling like yourself again. he pulled back, so very beautiful with that rare full smile. it slowly faded, however, but the mirth in his face remained. “my lovely mate,” he mused, so low that it was more akin to an uttered thought rather than spoken with intent.
when the time came, you enjoyed the banquet: compliments and catch-ups and champagne, politics and wit and inter-court visitors. later that night - or early the next morning - when it was just you and azriel again, laying in bed in the darkness, he admitted that the glamour of the inner circle even got to him at times. it was no surprise, considering how formal azriel was. yes, there was hierarchy; yes, there were power imbalances, but what really bound them together was love, not status. he had arm and wing thrown over you, lulling you to sleep with affirmations and reassurances, telling you just once more how important, how worthy, how extraordinary you and your so-called mundane life were, and to never let anyone tell you otherwise.
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xreaderbooks · 6 months ago
Two sides (1)
Pair: Azriel (ACOTAR) x reader, Unrequited Cassian x reader
Word count: 3.5k
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Warnings: Language, Mentions of sex
A/N: Admittedly Its been a while since I've read ACOTAR but my obsession with Azriel has never faded so enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Gifs are not mine 
Masterlist - part 2
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Solstice was normally your favorite time of the year. The celebration, gift-giving, the feeling of home. Tonight was no different, except for the fact that the man you were in love with for centuries seemed to be all about Nesta, the oldest Archeron sister. It hurt seeing him with someone else, they weren't together, not yet. What with Nesta's hatred for Fae and overall annoyance for Cassian but that didn't change the fact that he had a deep interest in her and not you. Not in the way you wanted him to be at least.
It was the end of the night and everyone had gathered around to exchange presents. You had given Mor a dress you saw her eyeing while shopping together, and she gave you a thin piece of cloth that she dared call a nightgown. You blushed and told her you didn't think you would ever wear it but thanks. You and Amren exchanged jewlery, agreeing prior to this evening that you both wanted a piece of jewelry from each others collection. Rhys and Feyre had given you a tapestry of your family who had died when you were young. Rhysand had met them before their passing. He told you that he described them to Feyre and she painted them as best she could-- he gave you that too-- and they went to a lady who makes tapestries and had it made for you. You teared up and rushed to give them a hug. "Wow, guys." You sniffled. "You're making me feel bad that my gift isn't half as sentimental."
"Your presence is gift enough Y/N, with everything going on, " Feyre said. They weren't wrong, with the upcoming war, the missions the group was sent on are dangerous and lucky to be alive to see this day.
"I say give me the gift, I have to be in her presence every day." You shot Cassian a half-hearted glare with an improper hand gesture. Then chucked the sheathed dagger that you got on the table next to him. "Ooh pretty!" He exclaimed, immediately grabbing it like a child and inspecting the details. Azriel rolled his eyes at his brother's childishness but had a small smile playing on his lips. "Here." Cassian threw a small box towards you. You caught it instantly, opening it to see a necklace with the special nickname he gave you. Your heart fluttered. "Thanks, dingbat." You responded. "Az, I'm sorry your present was supposed to be ready by now."
He gave you a quiet. "Don't worry about it." as he handed you a silver bow, your favorite weapon of choice. The string on your old one had worn out. You got up and gave him a short hug.
Finally, you gave your high lord and lady a box with a note that said 'Open in private, have fun you two ;)' You gave Feyre lingerie that was Rhysands favorite color, along with a tonic Feyre wanted since she said she didn't wanna have kids while the war was still going on.
After the exchange, you used that as an excuse to get drunk at Rita's with Mor and Amren. Feyre and Rhysand already retired for the night. Especially since you noticed a certain long-haired Illyrian spending majority of his night teasing and arguing with Nesta. And Elain was in the garden enjoying the night with Azriel who was keeping her company.
Unfortunately for you, Cassian had insisted he and Nesta come along. 'We never go out together anymore' he said. You thought there was no point if all he was gonna do was stay glued to Nesta all night.
"5 shots." You ordered when you got to the bar, for you and the rest of your friends and downed yours right when it was put in front of you. You dragged Mor and Amren to the dance floor. Swaying your hips to whatever song was playing. Then going to the bar and drinking all the money you had in your wallet, away. It went like this majority of the night. Eventually, you got a sick feeling in your stomach, which only got worse when you saw Cassian in a deep conversation with Nesta. For once Cassian didn't seem like his usual playful self that would tease her and for once they weren't arguing. You felt the pit in your stomach go up to your heart and to your throat. Rushing out the doors of rita's, you made it outside and let out the bile into the river until there was nothing left but the feeling of your heart sinking, you could almost hear the sound of your heartbreaking.
You looked up from where you were sitting, leaning against the railings. The heard doors open, you lifted your head and saw a man with wings coming out. You prayed that it wasn't Cassian. "I don't think the locals would like that very much." You recognized the voice of the shadowsinger.
"The locals can go-" You gagged, nausea coming back up your throat. You got on your knees, one hand on the railing, waiting for your throw up to either come out or go away. You preferred the latter. "Fuck this." You breathed inhaled, clutching the railing trying to get up. You started to stumble through the streets heading to the house.
Azriel to put an around your middle and lifted your arm around his shoulder to help you walk. He turned you around. You were going the wrong way. "Fuck this, Fuck him, Fuck everything." All of sudden getting emotional, tears spilling out but at this point you couldn't care less.
"Who?" Azriel questioned.
"Who else?" You suspected everyone knew. Feyre, Amren. Mor did too, she even apologized for sleeping with him when she noticed your feelings. She didn't know before besides, it was the only way she was freed from her family so you couldn't blame her. You were in love with him since he held you after they clipped your wings, He defended you and made it his mission to scare off anybody who hurt you or seemed like a threat to you, knowing that you could take care of yourself. But you then started to realized Azriel would do the same, as well as Rhys. Over time you realized he would never love you the way you loved him. He loved you as Rhysand did. Like a little sister. Rhysand noticed your feelings for his brother after a while, he asked you when or if you would ever say anything to Cassian. And you told him that you'd take it to the grave, even if Cassian did notice and just didn't say so, you would never admit it to him.
You didn't doubt that he knew though. That made it worse, you thought. It didn't matter now. Too many thoughts about him were filling your head. A headache you knew would come was already starting to form.
It took him a second to realize. "He's an idiot."
"How do you do it Az?" You stumbled despite being half-carried by the silent Illyrian man. He stopped walking and lifted your legs, deciding to carry you instead. He winnowed you both into your room in the townhouse. Once you were there he put you down carefully and looked at you saying "I don't know."
You sighed, feeling sober enough to want to change clothes, you were too lazy to walk all the way to your closet so you just grabbed the nightgown that Mor gave you earlier and stripped. Azriel turned his back so he wouldn't see you as you changed. You then walked to your bathroom, brushed your teeth and took off your makeup as best as you could.
"I'm decent." You said. He turned around. "Will you be alright on your own?" He asked just to be sure. He knows you can be unpredictable while drunk and can possibly put yourself in dangerous situations. Had he not gone outside, who knows what would've happened to you.
"I'm in my room, at home, I think I'll be fine." His face stayed the same but you could tell he was still unsure. He made his way to leave your room either way, "Azriel?" He turned to look at you.
You both stared at each other silently. You didn't know whether it was because you're drunk and emotional but when you looked at him; He was beautiful. A voice in your head urged you to move closer so you did and stopped right it front of him. You took his scarred hand in yours intertwining them-- something he would only let you do despite his shame-- you looked up at him, your eyes locked on each others. Then you thought 'fuck it'.
You stepped on your toes, putting your other hand to his cheek, pulling him down and turning your head slightly to the right. Your breath hitched as you slowly moved closer. Your eyes flitted between his eyes and his lips. "Kiss me." You said, anxious for him. "I shouldn't, you're not thinking straight."He whispered.
"I am and even if I wasn't, I don't care." you replied "Please."
He gave up his restraint, leaned in and your lips met. His hands moved your waist as you put your hands on either side of his face to bring him closer. The kiss was rough and passionate as if this was long-awaited. His lips felt soft on yours, you pushed him towards your bed and kicked your door shut. You guided him towards your bed, he let you push him onto your bed and you straddled his waist. You sat on directly on his area, grinding on him, your kiss began to get more intense almost needy.
You rushed to take off your nightgown, Azriel put his hands on yours to stop you. "Are you sure?" He asked. He reached to stroke your cheek, you leaned into his touch and nodded. "Yes." He flipped you, so that he was on top of you and his lips brushed against yours softly, he was being more gentle than he was before. Your heart sped up, you could feel it beating out of your chest and you were sure he could hear it. His kiss trailed from your lips, to your cheek, you tilted your head so he can get more access to your neck. He spent his time nipping and sucking, He let his hand wander down to touch your covered core, you let out a shuddered breath. You couldn't remember the last time you were touched.
You woke up the next morning with your bedsheets covering you and Azriel gone. You hadn't expected him to stay. It would've been too awkward, You didn't know what you would've said or even if to say anything at all. Your relationship with Azriel was simple, you spent most of your time together sitting in silence or talking about your day, giving each other advice if needed. You got up and remembered the events from the night before, you didn't know what to think. What if your whole dynamic got thrown off based off one night? At least you knew the wingspan theory was true. You let out a small giggle and smiled to yourself as you got ready for the day.
Your smile soon faded as you went down the stairs and noticed how serious everyone's faces were. Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Cassian, Amren and Azriel was there. There were no signs of the oldest or youngest Archeron sisters. Maps and books scattered everywhere.
"Do we have to do this so early?" You let out an exasperated sigh and plopped down on the couch next to Amren.
"It's almost 1 N/N." Cassian responded. You noticed he had the dagger you bought for him strapped to his side. Your heart skipped a beat. You avoided his gaze and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest.
" Who ate your neck?" Mor almost yelled. You thought Mor was talking about Feyre or Amren, when you noticed everyone looking at you and you almost had a heart attack. You rushed to the nearest mirror and cursed Azriel in your mind.
"Somebody got busy last night." Cassian smirked. You rolled your eyes, "Don't we have bigger things to worry about." You glanced at Azriel and he kept his head down looking severely interested at the pages in the book he held. The meeting continued. Azriel came back with information about Devlon taking out his anger on females who are just trying to be trained, wearing them out. This infuriated you, knowing first hand how rough things can get and you volunteered to go. "You're not going by yourself Y/N." Rhysand stated. "You know they won't take you seriously."
"Yeah because I was playing nice, " you pulled out a dagger you had strapped to you thigh. "This time I won't be."
Rhysand gave you a look. You sighed "I don't need a babysitter."
"I know you don't but they do, things can get ugly real quick." You knew he was right, that didn't mean you had to like it. "Cassian will go with you."
'Of course' You thought, internally dreading the conversation you both would have about what happened last night. You would have to come up with something fast. "Fine."
Everyone had their own duties to attend to, you headed straight to your room accidently slamming your door when you closed it behind you. You winced, thinking how it might've sounded like you were a teenager who just got yelled at. A knock on your door kept you from packing your clothes. Mor came in looking worried. "You okay?"
"Yeah why wouldn't I be." Your shrugged.
"You looked pretty upset about going back-" You started to interrupt to reassure her you were fine going back to windhaven but stopped when she finished her sentence, "With Cassian."
"Did something happened between you two? Is he the one who gave you that hickey? Is that why you're acting weird." She bombarded you with questions. You needed to come up with an excuse for that last question knowing she could tell if you lied, she always did.
"One-- Nothing happened, he's just annoying, two-- no and it's not a hickey, last night I opened one of my cabinets and something fell out-"
"Like what, a leech." She laughed at her own joke and you tried to join in, begging you wouldn't ask for more information.
"You know it's not wrong if you wanna have a little fun sometimes Y/N" She came up to you and touched your arm. "You deserve to be happy." She started to help you pack.
"You don't have to help, you can go do whatever you were about to do."
Mor glared at you playfully, "If I didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to kick me out." She looked under your bed and laughed. "Are you hiding your secret lover in here?"
You chuckled at Mor trying to make you feel more comfortable. "No, but now I know where not to hide him next time you come looking."
"Oh so its a him." She smirked. You face palmed yourself internally, she'll never stop bugging you now. "Cass thinks you're mad at him by the way."
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not though."
"You might wanna tell him that before he sulks the entire way there." She said finally and helped you finish packing.
Cassian did in fact sulk the entire way to wind haven, even after you reassured him that nothing was wrong and things were still okay between the two of you. After multiple times of reassurance, he then began to ask questions about the mystery person you were with last night that had marked you up. 'If only he knew' you thought to yourself. Would he care? You doubted it. He would probably applaud Azriel that he finally go over Mor, although that definitely was not the case. If anything last night was a distraction and not just for you, it was probably a distraction for too. Maybe that's why he didn't care whatever lines were crossed. He wasn't drunk enough or drunk at all to not assess the situation before it happened.
You and Cassian went your separate ways, promising to go to him if you needed anything or were in trouble. You told him you could handle yourself but promised anyways, you went to go find Devlon.
There he was, the bastard. As if sensing your gaze he turned smirking as he saw you stalking toward him. You tried to keep your composure knowing he wouldn't do you any favors if you didn't play his little game. "Ah look who we have here, come to scrub my floors again?"You gritted your teeth as Devlon taunted you, reminding of when he took you in after your parents had died.
'Yeah with your face' you thought. You had become his maid until you befriended Rhysand, and the others, who fought to free you from Devlons "care"; Rhysands mother gave you a place in her home. You shuddered at the thought of your past, rem'being why you were here in the first place.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about has been going on around camp." You crossed your arms to keep from reaching for your dagger and throwing it at his head. "There were reports from certain people who were concerned for the females training."
"And who may I ask is making the reports?"
"That's none of your concern, your job is to ensure the females are having proper training-" He interrupted you. "And they will, after they've finished with their chores."
You dug your nails into your hands, "Yes, that was the agreement however more than half of the women who were supposed to be training are now being held up by their chores that for some reason have now piled up and are exhausted by the end of day."
"How is it my problem that they can't keep up? If they can't handle it they should stay where they belong." Your hand slide down to where your dagger was sheathed, the side of your thigh. You were about to split his face open. That was until a hand touched your shoulder, you looked to your right to see Cassian.
"Is there a problem here, Lord Devlon?"
"No I don't believe there is, Commander." An amused tone in his voice had your blood boiling. "Good." Cassian nodded to the camp war-lord.
"Don't let him get under your skin," Cassian whispered in your ear as he pulled you away. You fought the urge to flip Devlon off while you walked away. "Never." You replied.
The rest of the day you spent helping train the girls with Cassian, just like old times.
"Az, you scared the shit out of me!" you clutched your chest. The spymaster had landed right behind you.
"Sorry." He smiled, you thought he should do that more often.
"Warn a girl next time, will you?" You glanced at him, It had been a couple days since you've been sent here and got everything back in order. You hadn't expected anybody else to come by. Not that you weren't glad to see your friend, you just didn't know where you both stood. "What are you doing here anyway? Weren't you supposed to be somewhere else."
"Yes but I thought I'd come check on you." He poked your side.
"Aw how sweet but I'm busy and you'll only get it my way." You patted his shoulder and walked off to get a better view of the warriors training, making sure their sparring didn't turn into actual fighting. You put two girls that weren't so fond of each other to spar and relieve some tension.
"Actually Rhys wanted me to come and check how things are going." He followed you and looked around the camp. "By the looks of it everything seems fine."
"Wow and here I thought I was special." You pouted. He stared at you an unreadable expression on his face.
"Special to who." Cassian came up from behind you and wrapped an arm around you. Azriel tensed up but neither you or Cassian had noticed.
"No one, but hey now that you're here you can watch them while I take a break.” You dragged Azriel somewhere that wasn't surrounded by people. 
"C'mon let's go to the cabin, I'm starving and I don't want Devlon and the other Illyrian assholes to judge me." 
"I thought you didn't care about them judging you." Azriel replied. You gave him a look, "I don't but I'm too tired to deal  with them." That was the last thing you said before he winnowed you both into the cabin.
As you arrived you sat down on the couch your nerves getting to you. Azriels shadows surrounded him. They exposed his nervousness. 
"We should talk." 
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illyrian-shadows · 5 months ago
emotional outburst
azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: periods, angst (?), fluff
word count: 1253
summary/request: may i request an azriel x reader where she’s on her period but she’s fae so it’s obviously much harder to cope with? azriel doesn’t know she’s on it and she accidentally snaps at him and he leaves, hurt and wondering what he did, and the reader feels guilty? But they make up at the end? thank you! From anon
a/n: hi, thank you so much for requesting, i loved this one so much! i hope you enjoy it too <333
Azriel sat at the dinner table with the other members of the Inner Circle, picking at his food, clearly troubled. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he missed the concerned glances thrown his way by his family, confused at his uncharacteristic distraction and at your lack of presence at the meal.  
Meanwhile, the Illyrian was racking his brain for any potential things he could have done or said that would have led to your outburst earlier that morning. 
He had awoken before you, as he did most mornings, and had left you to rest with a delicate kiss on your head whilst he went and prepared some breakfast for you. You were already awake when he returned and at the sight of him and the tray filled with food balanced in his scarred hands, you had burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking yourself inside. He had panicked, gently setting the tray on the bed, before making his way to the locked door, attempting to speak softly to you through it. Most of your response was incoherent through your sniffles and sobs, but he had understood you asking him for some space. He had obliged immediately, not wanting his presence to make you even more distressed, and had gone outside to train alone. 
He had stayed there for the majority of the day, not trusting himself to be back at the house and not disturb you. Since returning when Feyre called him down for dinner, he had not seen you once and was even more troubled by your absence from the meal. His mind was whirring, instantly fearing the worst case scenarios.
What if he had said something to upset you? What if he had unknowingly hurt you during your activities the night prior? What if you had awoken and finally realised what he had feared you would since the minute the two of you discovered you were mates: that he was worthless, just a bastard born Illyrian, with horrid scars from his past and who murdered and tortured people for a living? That he was someone so utterly undeserving of your love? 
“Az?” He was broken from his thought spiral by Feyre’s concerned voice calling for him, tilting his head up to look at her in surprise. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Apologies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” he responded, giving her a barely there, sheepish smile in the hopes of reassuring her.
“Is Y/N feeling better? Poor girl, of course she isn’t. She must be feeling horrible.” Mor chimed in, pouting sympathetically.
Azriel’s attention snapped to the blonde, eyebrows furrowing as he sat up straighter.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between Mor and Feyre as they shared a look. “Why would she be feeling horrible? Is she alright?”
“She’s on her period, Az. Cauldron, brother, even I knew that.” Cassian chuckled, shaking his head at Azriel’s obliviousness as he took another sip of his drink. 
Realisation dawned on Azriel, your emotional outburst making complete sense to him now. He cursed himself for not recognising the signs sooner and for having left you alone all day with nothing but your pain and uncomfort. He stood abruptly from his chair, thanking Feyre briefly for the dinner, before rushing to the stairs and making his way to your shared room. 
Upon opening the door, his heart broke at the sight of you curled up in a ball, head buried into the pillows as your hand pressed hopelessly against your stomach. Shame settled in on him for being so oblivious and not being there for you in your time of need.
Your eyes reluctantly flutter open at the sound of the door opening and shutting, widening when they land on him. You slowly unfurl yourself, groaning slightly as you move to sit up, not taking your eyes off of your mate for a second.
“I know you said you wanted space…” Azriel starts, avoiding your gaze as he glances nervously around the room. “So, if you’d like me to leave, then please just-“
“No..” you whisper, cutting him off, the slight pleading in your voice gaining his attention. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. I never should have said that to you or reacted the way I did. You did nothing but be your usual, considerate self but you know how I get.” you continue, voice wavering as you begin to tear up, guilt overcoming you at the vulnerability evident on the shadowsinger’s face. “Oh, Az, I’m so sorry.” 
He reacts before he even realises what he is doing, heart aching at the sadness and fear radiating from you down the bond, feeling only the urge to comfort you. He quickly settles himself on the bed beside you before gently grasping you by the waist and pulling you into his lap. You instantly wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as one of his hands comes up to hold your quivering head in place, the other running soothingly up and down your back.
“It’s okay, my love. I’m here now, I’m here. You have nothing to apologise for.” he promises, pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “I should’ve known what this week was, it’s my fault.”
You shake your head, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. 
“No, don’t say that. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault, not yours.” you murmur, Azriel’s eyebrows furrowing in concern as he moves his hands up to cup your face.
“Let’s just agree that it’s nobody’s fault, alright? Nobody but that period of yours.” he smiles fondly at you, eyes brightening when he notes your visible relaxation at his light tone.
“I hate being a woman.” you pout, earning a chuckle from your mate, resulting in a small smile of your own which quickly drops as a wave of pain hits you. 
Azriel frowns as your face contorts into an expression of pure discomfort, a small pulse of pain echoing down the bond. He coos softly at you, moving one large hand down to rest over your back, an area he knows to be the cause of some of your worst cramps. You sigh softly as the warmth from his palm seeps into your skin, relieving the ache momentarily as you slump against him. 
He smiles, pride sparking within him at his ability to ease your suffering with the maimed hands which he believed would only ever be the cause of people’s suffering. He tilts his head ever so slightly, pressing a delicate kiss to each of your cheeks, followed by one on your nose and then, finally, one on your lips.
You sigh contently against him, his smile widening before he nudges your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to the foot of the bed for the blanket resting there. He brings it up over the two of you, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position. 
He now lay back against the headrest, with you settled comfortably in his lap, legs curled up on either side of him. He rubs soothing circles into the small of your back, his free hand coming up to run through your hair.
“Sleep now, darling. I’ll be here when you awake.” he says, resting his head on top of your own as you relax further into his embrace.
“You promise?” you mumble against his skin, eyelids already heavy as his hands lull you to sleep.
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naturallystupidforyou · 3 months ago
Can you do a post-mating bond with Azriel ?
-: ✧ :-゜・.azriel x reader
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ post-mating bond
Azriel tucks his wings behind him, looking at you with an odd gleam in his eyes. You throw on your clothes, body still sore and satiated from the previous four nights. Again and again, Azriel took you with his mouth, fingers, and his cock. You lost track of the number of times you came.
“Get dressed,” You told him, a beaming grin on your lips. Azriel did as you bid. His movements were sharp, not quite used to the fire brandishing his skin, the rubbing on his soul. “Where are we going?” He asked. You shrugged, “For a walk. We need to get out of the house,”
You handed Azriel paper, a quill, with a small pot of ink. Hold them, you requested. Outside, the autumn chill was heavy in the air, the leaves a marvelous red, brown, and orange as they prepared to fall and rot under the snow. You slipped your hand into his free one, leading him into the forest. Azriel only followed, his shadows trailing you like a second silhouette. You never seemed to mind it, treating them as some sort of pet. Though, his shadows weren’t quite fond of that. 
You slipped your hand into his own, “I’m planning a surprise. It’s what I was doing this morning whilst you were in the shower,” Azriel blinked. His shadows had been calm, resting peacefully. He hadn’t known you left. You waved him off upon seeing the flicker in his eyes, “There’s nothing to worry about. No one is in the mountains beside us,”
After a moment, Azriel relaxed. He knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. He knew it. It did nothing to help the bond screaming to protect. He wondered if the feeling would ever dull. From what he’s seen with Cassian and Rhys, he didn’t think so.
The clearing in the woods had a little stack of wood, positioned for a fire. You gave him a glance when you lit it, moving back to stand beside him. “Growing up, my siblings and I would have this tradition. For what we wanted our future. When I was a little girl, I said I wanted a mate. My brothers laughed at me. It was a foolish notion, wasn’t it? To assume that someone like me — someone who means nothing,” You cut him off when he tried to protest. You weren’t nothing. Not to him. “Would find their mate. If I even had one. We write it on a piece of paper and burn it. We then bury the ashes,”
Azriel’s lips quirked slightly. “Do you believe it?” Your face heated. Still, you said, “I found you, didn’t I?” You sat on the forest floor, the leaves crunching beneath you. The fire warmed your skin, driving away the cold. He sat across you, watching as you ripped the paper into thin strips. You handed him several, asking, “What do you want our future to look like?”
Azriel paused. He hadn’t thought about it. He had a general idea, he supposed. One that involved you and him spending countless nights and mornings in bed together. You caught his hesitation, waving it off, “I’ll start. I want a cat named Evanora,” You gave him a pointed look as you scribbled it down. “Perhaps for my birthday or Winter Solstice,” You muttered. You grabbed another one, “I want a house on the riverside. I want to spend the rest of my life happy with you. I want to spend the morning of every holiday in your arms,”
After each one, you placed it into the fire, watching as the paper crinkled and faded away. Azriel was writing silently. You peered over curiously, catching, I want to win the snowball fight. You rolled your eyes, breath catching the next one, I want to have a family. I want to make Y/n happy.
Azriel threw it in, eyes waiting until they were nothing more than a spec to look at you. “I love you,” He says. “I love you, too,”
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ughthatimagineblog · a year ago
another world | preview
azriel x reader
requested:  Hey, I saw you were doing requests for azriel in ACOTAR and I've been having a lot of Azriel feels lately and was wondering if you could an Azriel x reader where the reader has come from this world and has read the books and is all like ??? and finds the Inner Circle to ask for help to get home and then her and Az fall in love and are mates and it's quite angsty because he can't leave his family but she can't stay but then she gets turned into Fae somehow and happy ending eventually. Is that ok?
word count: 966
warnings: literally none i think other than cursing in the authors note and ofc covid19,,, but be cautious
a/n: this is my first attempt at writing something long/for azriel again after a long time so im sorry if it’s shite and short. its also kinda just the preview. i needed something to get the ball rolling and the plot is so,,, detailed i couldnt just start from fuckall so here this flaming pile of garbage is. PS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT I MIGHT BE SELLING ARTWORK SOON. ill be posting a few of my works and if people become interested in asking for commissions ill be glad to sell. i dont have a job currently and its hard to get one b/c of COVID19 so this is kinda a last ditch resort so.. anywho. love yall and youll see anya’s art soon-ish. in the next two weeks hopefully. anyways please enjoy
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      Crap. That's all you could think as the pounding in your head made it impossible to truly come up with any other coherent thoughts. The light that poured through the windows of the unfamiliar house burned your eyes and the bed you now laid on was stiff and old. You were nowhere near home. Reaching for your phone in your pockets you cursed yourself, and your friends, for allowing you to drink so much. It seems that you had gotten so drunk, you’d landed yourself in thirteenth century England, or whatever the hell. Of course realistically this wasn’t true but wherever the hell you were, it seemed as though the person who lived here hadn’t been ‘with the times’ so to speak.       A second assessment of your surroundings just confirmed that thought. The wood beneath your feet was old and looked worn and rotten. The bed is equally worn with no entertainment devices in sight. It seemed to be a studio, however you had been convinced it was a house, but alas, there was a wash station and a kitchen table no less than thirty feet from where you sat. Of course, no one was anywhere to be seen and to top it all off, your phone had no signal. None. It was even as if the section at the top left was blank which was completely abnormal. And you would have more time to question it if it weren’t for the front door clamoring open and a tall figure emerge through the doorway.
       “Oh good, you’re awake.” The tall female muttered and wiped off her clothes. “Where am i?” You questioned quickly, fear wavering in your voice as you realized she was dressed quite oddly. A soft tunic that would have definitely dated back to the thirteenth century and some trousers and footwear that had seen better days. She gave you a puzzled look. “Prythian, dear.” She scoffed and went to the wash basin to set down the food you had just realized she had been carrying. “Where is that?” You pushed further. How long had you been out for?        The lady gave you another odd look before busying herself again. “Where are we? Somewhere in England? Anywhere in Britain? It sounds British. Are we in America? Where?”       “Prythian. The continent.” She stated, her looks of concern soon matching your own. “I have no clue how you ended up all the way in the Night Court, but no matter, I’ll bring you to Velaris before sundown and surely our High Lord will return you to the human lands.” She went on and you had to sit back down for a moment. “Human lands...?” You muttered to yourself and glanced back at the woman. Pointed ears, slender face and extreme beauty. Your memory, which had completely forgotten you until now, was slowly returning.         Prythian. It sounded familiar. You just assumed you’d heard it in a world history or apush class. No, you’d heard it from a book. Yes, a fantasy book. But that wasn’t possible.      “Rhysand. Rhysand is your High Lord?” You asked, narrowing your eyes. The girl’s face lit up. “Yes! So you do know about Prythian! You’re not a lost cause after all!” Ignoring the backhanded comment you attempted to make more sense of the situation. “I must be dreaming.” You shook your head and began to stand, suddenly feeling light headed. “If you’re so eager to go, I can take you now, I can assure you you are not dreaming.” She confirmed. You nodded. “Take me now then. Please. I don’t belong here.” With some more hesitant conversation, the woman, who’s name was Rinna, agreed to take you to Velaris sooner than later. She lived on the outskirts of the city, just before the glamour took hold, and knew you were human and in turn gave you all of the essentials. Warm clothes that didn’t look out of place, a bag for your things, and some food.      “It’s an hour’s journey over mountain so be prepared.” She warned. You nodded before leaving her cottage and mounting one of the two horses she had owned.          You needed to figure out what had happened. The last thing you remember was being with your close friend and laughing in a bathroom at a party you two were at. And then everything was blank after that. You had read, and loved A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas but never in a million years did you think you would ever find yourself so far from home, and so close to the world you had loved. You now realized why books were just books. They were easy to love from afar. But so close, so very very close, they became scary. Too real. You were far from home, with no idea how to get back. You hadn’t said goodbye to anyone and without warning, your whole life was gone. And in reality, you knew no one here. Except now maybe Rinna, and technically all of the Inner Circle. But they didn’t know you. And that made all the difference.       You would figure out how to get home no matter what it took. You needed to get home. And as much as finding yourself in the ultimate fantasy world secretly excited you, it scared you. Greatly. You were human in the land of the fae about to meet the strongest High Lord in history. And you had no defenses. But now was no time to be weak. If loving these books had taught you anything, it was that being scared was the perfect time to be brave. You would meet your essential heroes but you would also find your way back home and have a hell of a story waiting for everyone when you got back.
well that was fucking shite. hope you enjoyed lol i love yall PS READ THE AUTHORS NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!
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xreaderbooks · 5 months ago
Two sides (2)
Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Language, implied smut
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Masterlist - Part 1
A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3
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"We need to talk."
"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.
"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."
"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.
"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."
He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.
"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."
His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."
"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."
"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.
You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."
He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.
"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.
"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.
The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.
He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.
And you wished it never ended.
"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.
"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.
"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.
"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."
Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."
He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.
You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.
Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.
Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.
Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.
Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.
As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.
You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.
The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.
'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.
"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.
"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."
Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.
To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.
Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.
He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?
Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."
"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.
"We're going on a trip!"
"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.
"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.
"How do you mean?"
"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.
"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."
"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.
"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.
This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.
"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.
You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?
You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.
Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.
"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."
"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.
"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."
"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."
"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.
"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."
She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."
You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."
"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.
"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.
"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."
"Thanks for the talk, Mor."
"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.
Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.
He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.
Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.
That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.
"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.
"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.
"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"
You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.
"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.
"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.
"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.
"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.
"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."
He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.
It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"
Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.
You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.
Tags: @wildchild2707​ ,@theworthlessqueen​ ,@ciciakai​ ,@rockinginneverland​
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lexi-imagines · 4 months ago
Hate Me (Azriel x Reader)
Fandom:  A Court of Thorns and Roses
Word Count:    714
Prompt:   “Sometimes I wonder if you even like me…it sure feels like you hate me sometimes.”
Years had passed since you joined Rhysand’s inner circle. For the most part it had gone well. They’d all warmed up to you quickly- even Amren. All of them accept Azriel. He genuinely seemed to dislike you. You’d mentioned it to Mor once and she’s just told you it’s how he was. 
That wasn’t what was happening here. You knew Azriel was quiet and preferred to observe more than actually interact with people. But around the others that front softened a bit. He would even joke with Cassian and Mor. Just being in the same room as them made him seem lighter.
None of that happened with you. Most of the time he just ignored you but when he couldn't his answers were short and never went further than answering whatever you had asked him. 
At first you understood. He didn’t know you so there was no reason for him to like you, but that excuse didn’t really work anymore. You’d known each other a long time and he’d never warmed up to you. It didn’t make sense. Of course it made your current situation even more uncomfortable. 
Rhysand needed to send someone to the Summer Court to attend a festival they were having. Cassian was banned and Mor was already away in Winter. So that left you. You would have been fine going one your own, but Rhys insisted that Azriel go with you. For safety reasons. Normally you could accept that reasoning, but there was a look in his eye that told you he was up to something.
That all led you to stand at the side of Tarquin’s ballroom watching as courtiers danced. The Illyrian at your side had barely spoken a whole sentence to you since you left the Night Court and you felt your annoyance rising. He could at least pretend to like you while you were doing jobs for Rhys, but he couldn’t even do that. Your sigh must have been louder than you intended because he turned to look at you. 
“Something wrong?”
“Not at all.” You crossed your arms over your chest. 
“You seem angry.”
“I’m fine. I’d be even better if you quit glaring at anyone who looks at me. Some of us would rather dance than brood on the sidelines all night.”
You could have sworn you saw the side of his lips twitch but wrote it off as your imagination. He didn’t say anything else, just turned his eyes back to the room. 
You scoffed and leaned back against the wall. “Sometimes I wonder if you even like me…it sure feels like you hate me sometimes.”
 You could feel his eyes on you but kept looking at the crowd. It should matter. If he didn’t like you it shouldn’t matter, but you couldn’t help the fact that it hurt. Because you did like him. He was good. You could see how much he cared about the others and you couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be cared about like that. 
“I don’t hate you.”
“I was...hesitant. I didn’t trust you when we first met. ”
“It’s understandable,” you said and when silent for a moment. “What about now I’ve tried to be your friend, but you don’t seem very interested.”
He didn’t answer at first, so you thought that was the end of your conversation and looked out over the crowd. 
“Now, it’s hard to be around you and not want more.” 
“What do you-”
“I don’t just want to be your friend. I want more.”
Your eyes snapped back to his. “Oh.”
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. I just thought you hated me until a few moments ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
You stayed silent for a few minutes. 
“What if I felt the same? Wanted more.”
“I would feel like an idiot,” he said, earning a laugh from you.
You turned your eyes back to the room. You felt better than you had in awhile. 
Azriel moved from beside you and you didn’t have a chance to speak before he was standing in front of you hand outstretched. 
“Would you like to dance?”
“Better than brooding on the sidelines.”
You laughed and took his hand so he could lead you to the dance floor. 
A/N:  This took forever. I’m so sorry. 
ACOTAR taglist:
@coffeewithoutcaffeine | @slytherin-bunny | @theamazingworldofcarol
Masterlist | Ask | Prompt List
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naturallystupidforyou · 2 months ago
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  azriel x reader
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ breakfast is a family affair
Azriel murmured, burrowing himself deeper into the soft skin of your back. "He's awake," Azriel chuckled, the breath hitting your spine causing you to shiver. A moment later, you heard the soft patter of footsteps until they stopped outside your door.
A chubby hand slips under your door, swiping at the air as Mathias attempts to peer under. You stifle your laughter. Whispering, despite his blatant attempts to wake you both, Mathias says, muffled from his face being pushed as close to the floor as it can get, “It’s Wednesday,”  
“That is it,” Azriel whispered to you. His lips draw long your naked back, getting lower as he moved to stand. “I’m surprised he let us sleep in this long,” You chuckled. The clock along the wall read nine. “He’s been sitting in his room for an hour now. I suppose his patience wore thin,”
Azriel slips on pants, throwing you one of his shirts. He waits until you’ve thrown it over your head to open the door. “My little bat,” Azriel greets, picking up Mathias by his ankle. Mathias shrieks, laughing loudly when Azriel tosses him into his arms and blows on his stomach. His wings flap excitedly, “Mama help,” Azriel tosses him onto the bed, Mathias crawling over to you and burying his face into your shoulder, and wrapping his arms around you. His laughter dies down after a moment, the grin on his face reminiscent of Azriel.
He flops down on the pillows, rubbing his stomach dramatically. “I’m starving,” He whined, eyes clenched shut. Azriel raised a brow, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “So you weren’t sneaking fruit this morning?” Mathias froze completely, his whole body tense as he tried to conjure up a thought. “It wasn’t for me,” He shakes his head, “It was for your shadows. They need to eat too,” Inwardly, you winced at the thought of stepping in fruit or finding it only once it began to rot.
“I wouldn’t want my son to starve,” You brushed back his hair. “What you like to eat?” It was an unnecessary question. Each Wednesday, long before Mathias was born, you and Azriel spent each Wednesday making a family affair of breakfast. Back then, it had been spent with far fewer clothes and with both of you the main courses.
Incredulously, near offense, Mathias sits up, “It’s Wednesday,” Azriel chuckles, “Waffles, then?” Excitedly, Mathias nods his head. “Can I help?”
You kissed his temple, “Of course,”
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azriel (acotar) x reader
warnings: mentions of blood, depression
word count: 1809
Sunlight filtered through the curtains of your room and the sound of birds humming filled the room. Groggily, you opened your eyes, surveying the scene. The left side of your bed was cold and empty. Azriel must have had to head up to Windhaven earlier this morning.
Glancing to the window, you saw it was half way open. Azriel’s small gestures never failed to make you smile. He knew you loved the smell of the breeze and the fresh air. It was refreshing. A moment of peace.But recently, it got harder and harder to smile. You put on a front to alleviate suspicion. The last thing you wanted was the inner circle being worried about your problems while they were dealing with other threats.
Swinging your legs over the bed, you felt the cool breeze against them. You made your way to the bathroom, getting ready for the day. You splashed cold water onto your face to try and wake yourself up. You looked in the mirror and saw a stranger staring back. Your disgust and hatred surfaced as your grip tightened on the edge of the bathroom counter. Why were you feeling this way? You wished you could go back to normal, to the happy carefree person you were months ago. That person was nowhere to be seen and you were stuck like this, stuck in your head and your thoughts.
Azriel must have sensed something was bothering you because he brushed your mind through the bond, sending a questioning thought . You quickly played it off sending your false happiness down the bond. When you usually had your thoughts, you made sure to cut the bond off, but not for too long because Azriel would get worried otherwise.
You kept these thoughts to yourself and didn’t let anyone see them. You felt guilty for feeling like this. You should be happy, not sad. You shouldn’t loathe yourself, you had people who loved you. But your self doubt and hatred never left you alone and you didn’t want to share this burden with Az, who has already been through so much. So you kept it bottled up and to yourself, only ever letting them surface in the dark when there was nobody but you and your demons.
The swift knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts. You shoved the feelings down and plastered on a smile.
“Come in! The door is unlocked”
“Hey y/n! I just wanted to let you know that Rhys and Feyre planned a dinner party at the House of Wind tonight!” Mor said
“Oh? That sounds quite last minute” you chuckled
“Yeah, something about diplomacy and putting on a strong front? I wasn’t paying too much attention. Anyway, I need a new dress for the occasion and was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the Rainbow later?”
“That sounds so lovely, but I have to run a few errands,” you lied. Your energy had seemed to have left you and you were barely keeping your front up. “You’re gonna look gorgeous in whichever dress you get” you quickly added, giving her a tight lipped smile.
Mor could sense that you weren’t yourself. “Are you feeling ok y/n? You sound a bit- off?”
“Oh yeah of course! I’m just a bit tired. I think I’m going to head down and grab a cup of coffee. You know I love my coffee.” you gave her a slight chuckle.
“Well, if you’re heading down, I’ll just come with you. I need to head out and pick up a few more things for the party anyway.”
You gave her another smile, closing the door to your room as you followed her down the stairs
Today was one of your bad days. Nothing you did could get your mind off the thoughts that haunted you. Normally, you were able to distract yourself, at least for a few hours, but today you could not evade them. They were the predator and you were their prey.
The inner circle was still in Windhaven. They were probably dealing with Devlon’s excuses as to why the females weren’t training. You knew they would be getting back soon though, since the party was soon.
Making your way back into the kitchen, you pulled out a kettle and filled it with water. Putting it on the stove and letting it boil, you grabbed a tall mug and some of your favorite tea powder. The kettle whistled and you poured the water into your mug. The first sip was comforting, the warmth spreading through your body. You closed your eyes and sighed, basking in the few moments of peace you had.
The wind whistled and you heard a series of thumps on the balcony. Opening your eyes, you saw that Azriel and the others had returned. Anger was painted over his face, but it vanished as soon as he saw you. He made his way over to you, giving you a quick peck on the lips. You breathed in his scent, the wind and the pine giving you a sense of comfort.
“So how did your check up with Devlon go?” you asked
Cassian let out a loud huff before anyone could respond
“Not well, I take it?”
“He keeps giving more chores to the females to keep them out of the training ring. I wanted to break his hand right there.” Azriel answered
“Oh Az, don’t worry, next time Devlon pulls shit like that, I give you and Cassian free reign to do whatever you want with him.” Rhys grinned out
“Oh mother I like the sound of that. God knows he needs to be put in his place.” Cassian sighed
“Devlon aside, are you guys ready for the party?” Feyre asked
“Fuck yeah, I’m in desperate need of booze” Cassian yelled out, causing all of you to laugh
“It sounds like fun, but I haven’t been feeling too well, so I think i’ll just stay home tonight.” you murmured
Azriel immediately put his attention on you. “Are you ok love? Do I need to call Madja?”.
“No no, don’t worry about me, I think I just need a little rest. You go to the party and have fun though. For me.” You knew that was the only way you would get him to go.
He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.
“Az, darling, i’ll be fine”
He relented. “Fine. But if I sense anything is off, I’m coming home immediately.”
The other left to the House of Wind and you were finally left alone again. You wrapped yourself up in a blanket and lied down on your bed, drifting off.
A few hours later you woke up. Groaning, you made your way over to the bathroom. Gripping the counter, you stared at yourself in the mirror. You felt angry and disgusted. Your hand curled into a fist and before you could process what you were doing, the mirror shattered. You could feel the cuts on your hand, but the pain was the last thing on your mind.
Dropping your front, your thoughts and feelings flooded back into you. You felt the numbness washing over you as your feelings hounded you, ripping into you. You were so tired. You didn’t want to feel like this anymore. Why did you deserve anything?
Your self deprecating thoughts kept slamming into you.
You weren’t pretty enough. Azriel deserved better. He was only with you out of pity. He didn’t really love you. How could he ever love someone like you.
Finally the dam broke and your tears started flowing. Backing up to the wall, you slowly slid down, hugging your body, your sobs never ending.
What you hadn’t realized was for a split second, your hold on the bond had faltered, and all your emotions and pain had slammed into Azriel. He almost lost his footing, clutching his heart and holding onto Cassian to keep him from falling over.
“Az? Azriel, what's wrong?” Cassian shouted
“I-, I need to go home. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just need to check on y/n.”
Cassian didn’t have time to say anything else before Azriel disappeared into the shadows.
“Y/n? Y/n! Darling, where are you?” Azriel shouted as he got home
Rushing into your shared room, he heard your sobs and made his way to the bathroom. His heart clenched when he saw you. He immediately crouched down next to you, gently picking up your body and leaning it against his.
“A- Az?” You hiccuped out, tears blurring your vision “Wha- What are you doing here? I thought I closed the bond”. Another sob left your body.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered into your hair, afraid you might break if his voice was any louder. “I could’ve helped you through this.”. One of his hands was wrapped around your bloodied one and the other one was gently rubbing your back.
“Why?” You spoke so softly that Azriel thought he imagined it.
“You deserve-” You took a deep breath to try and slow your tears, “You deserve so much more than me. Someone better than me. I’m nothing- I’m worthless. I’m not pretty enough or graceful enough. You should be with someone like Elain or Gwyn. Someone who is worthy of you. Someone who deserves your love”.
“That’s not your choice to make darling. I get to choose who I love, and I love you”
“I’m not worthy of your love” you whispered. “You shouldn’t be with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to deal with all my problems and insecurities. You should be with someone who doesn’t hate everything about themselves. You already deal with so much, you shouldn’t have this burden on you too.”. Tears burned the back of your throat.
“I’m no stranger to self-deprecation” Azriel laughed soundlessly “You’ve helped me through so many low points, it’s only fair i help you through yours. It’s what mates do. It what i’ll do, because I love you.”
“You shouldn’t” you cracked out
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” he whispered into your hair, pulling you closer to his chest. “Don’t shut me out. Please.”
At the sound of those words, you opened the bond and let Azriel see everything. You bore your soul to him and laid everything bare. You sobbed harder into his chest as he held you, sitting in the silence.
After you started feeling a bit better, Azriel lifted you up and placed you on the counter so he could clean your hand and wrap it in gauze. He quickly got changed and led the two of you to your bed.
“Did- Did you mean it?” you whispered out,
“Every word my love. Every single word.”
Pulling you close, he whispered sweet nothings till you drifted off.
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lexi-imagines · 2 months ago
Can we get headcanons on what the bat boys would be like with their pregnant mates? Btw, LOVE your writing ❤️
Thank you so much!!! 💕
I’ve never done headcanons before but I tried! I hope you like them. I can do more of them if you like these.😆
We all know Rhys loves with every bit of his soul. He didn’t think he could love you more than he already did.
When you find out you’re pregnant he realizes that was not correct.
He always knew he wanted a family of his own but after losing his parents and sister, he knew the dangers they would face.
When you’re pregnant his protectiveness definitely gets kicked up a notch.
But he couldn’t be happier.
Cassian would be so happy when he found out you were pregnant.
He’d be terrified too but that would be overshadowed by how happy he was.
He definitely went around telling everyone. He’d just be so proud and happy.
Definitely expect to be spoiled.
He knows what his mother went through when she was pregnant so you’re going to have anything you might want. No matter how ridiculous the request is.
If you want a random food you had on a trip to another court, he’s flying to said court and getting it for you.
He’d definitely talk to the baby when he thought you were asleep at night.
Then panic thinking something’s warning when you start crying over something sweet he said.
He’s determined to be a good father and partner. He’ll never let himself become like his own father.
He’ll do anything to make you happy.
Azriel is complicated. On the outside he’s calm, on the inside he’s freaking out.
He’s never felt like he deserves you and definitely doesn’t feel like he deserves this.
But he loves you so much and will love your child just as much.
He loves you both more than he ever thought possible.
You assure him that he deserves it. He deserves to be happy, and he starts to believe it.
He’s so protective of you. He’s terrified of losing you both.
He stays with you as much as he can.
He lets his spies take over work he typically would have done himself.
When he has to leave his shadows let him know if something happens.
That's the only thing that lets him force himself to go.
Azriel still deals with the effects of what his family did to him.
He makes sure he’s the best he can be for you.
At night he likes to lay his hand against your stomach.
It makes you smile because you can still remember a time when he would flinch at the sight of his scars touching you.
The first time the baby kicks, you could have sworn you saw tears but you didn’t question it.
A/N: I hope these were alright. I can do more of these if you all like them :)
Acotar Taglist
@coffeewithoutcaffeine | @slytherin-bunny | @for-bebbanburg | @answer-the-sirens | @theamazingworldofcarol
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naturallystupidforyou · 2 months ago
Hi can you please write about mating bond click into place for Azriel, but reader is oblivious, and the whole inner circle tries to set them up? Thank you <3
°。°。゜。°。 azriel x reader
✼  ҉  ✼  ҉   the inner circle setting up reader and az
of course, you found it odd that you always ended up alone with azriel
how the high lord would ask for your assistance with something only for you to arrive and find his spymaster
he hardly spoke to you at first
you took no offense. though, you wished he had. so, you tried, whittling away at his armor before it finally gave out  
once your assignment was done, the meetings between you and azriel hadn’t stopped
morrigan would invite you to the small cafe. she would never show, claiming court trouble. the one waiting for you would be azriel
the same could be said with cassian. you know there had to have been someone holding the closet door shut!
feyre would be more discreet. she’d ask for you both to attend one of her classes. accidentally, she’d pair you to work with the younger kids. covered in paint, she’d refuse to let you leave without cleaning up
for the longest time, you couldn’t understand why
what was it about azriel that you felt drawn to him? that felt the need to be near him? why did his shadows curl around you like a second skin?
amren would be the one to tell
she hadn’t known it was meant to be a secret
by now, she’d seen you on several dates arranged by the others
“when will you accept the bond?” she asked. you only narrowed your eyes. “what bond?”
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within-the-abyss · 5 months ago
Hi,can I request an azriel fic where he bumbs into someone in velaris and the bond snaps for him but he loses her in the crowd and he spends days trying to find her? And when he does he gets all shy and nervous?
This is my first ever request so beware, but I loved writing this. The ending isn’t the best, but please let me know what you think and I’d love to write for you again. Enjoy!
「Azriel x reader」
「Azriel meets his mate but loses them in the crowd」
Azriel wandered into the weapons shop he frequented when in need of a new dagger or other weapons. He wanted a new sheath for truth teller, a leather one to be exact. He headed around to the back of the store where he knew the sheaths he desired would be waiting. He browsed through the various choices on the wall and shelves.
He had settled on 4 and he was trying to choose when a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
“The black one on the left fits most comfortably on the upper thigh area. It’s also made of a stronger leather material than the others- it’s my personal favorite.”
He turned his head in the direction of the voice and was met with e/c eyes. He looked the person over, and as he did he felt as if his world had shifted into place, like everything in his life suddenly made sense. His mate, he realized.
He stood, eyes wide, seemingly dumbfounded for a moment, only being brought back by the feeling of a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey you alright? I know I don’t look like someone who knows a lot about knives and daggers but I didn’t think it was that shocking.” They let out a small laugh as Azriel gathered himself and tried to come up with an excuse.
“I’m alright, just got a bit distracted.” He gave no more of an answer than that but thankfully the mystery person accepted the response.
“Azriel,” he said, “I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before.”
“I know what I want and don’t normally browse like I am today- the clerk always has my things ready for pick up. And it’s Y/n by the way.” Y/n, Azriel repeated it to himself. A fitting name.
They talked for a while about the various types of leather and sheaths they both prefer. Azriel watched as a smile showed brightly on y/n’s face as they spoke. He noticed their eyes, that piercing e/c, he could get lost in them forever. He could see a spark of something in them as they spoke. Passion- Azriel realized, passion for the weapons and daggers.  
He watched as their gaze traveled to the clock on the wall. Their smile fell and they let out a sigh, turning back towards him.
“Well  it looks like I gotta run- gotta meet a friend for lunch. It was great meeting you Azriel, maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” They offered him a smile as they headed for the door.
“Wai-” he couldn’t finish the sentence before they were already out the door.
He set down the items in his hands and headed out after them. He walked out and into the street, but couldn’t find them in the large crowd. He let out a long sigh as he headed back in to purchase the items from before.
Tomorrow, he thought, he’d search for them tomorrow.
- - -
Over the next few days Azriel went out to the bustling city everyday, sending out his shadows and visiting various shops in hopes of running into y/n again. All Azriel could see was their face, and that smile. That damn smile- the smile they wore while the two of them talked about various weapons they loved.
He wanted nothing more than to see them again.
Azriel was starting to give up, feeling as if he wouldn’t be able to find them again. He walked down the street and wandered into a small bakery, maybe a snack would help him to relax a little and think.
Just as Azriel went to sit at one of the tables, his ears perked up at the sound of a voice- the voice of his mate.
His head whipped around as he saw them. Talking and laughing with the shop’s owner. His world seemed as if it was in slow motion as he watched them. He got so lost in the sound of their laugh and the smile on their face he forgot he was even looking for them in the first place.
He was brought back by a wave of jealousy. That was his mate, they should be smiling and laughing with him, not some baker.
Before he realized what he was doing, he was out of his chair, feet moving on their own, headed towards his mate.
“Excuse me, I was wondering if I could borrow y/n for a moment?” The power in his voice didn’t go unnoticed as the baker quickly apologized and headed to the back.
“Well if it isn’t the shadowsinger,” they looked toward him. “Back for some more of my expert advice.”
As soon as their eyes met he froze. He hadn’t thought of what to say and this was his mate- he couldn’t mess up.
“You were right about the sheath... it is very comfortable on the thigh region” His voice was uncharacteristically quiet and he silently cursed himself for the stutter in his words.
“Well I did say I know what I’m talking about, but based on the way you stormed up here, I’d say this is about more than just a sheath.” They wore a smirk on their face that made Azriel turn away in embarrassment.
“The other day... in the shop, I felt the bond- the mate bond I mean.” Azriel tried to look up and meet their eyes, but they had that smile on their face and he felt heat rise to his cheeks.
“Oh I know, I was just wondering when you would do something about it.” The smirk grew on y/n’s face at the sight of Azriel blushing even deeper now. It seemed so unlike the scary, monstrous shadowsinger they had heard about before.
Azriel finally looked up and met their eyes, those gorgeous eyes. “I was wondering if maybe,” he took a pause trying to find his words, “you would want to go on a date with me? Maybe go to dinner?”
He looked up at them with hopeful eyes and y/n smiled at him. He looked so adorable- they could get used to this shy side of his.
“Well I would be honored to go on a date with you, mate.”
Azriel smiled brightly at that- his mate, his and his only.
“I’ll pick you up tonight?”
“I’ll be waiting.” He looked at them and didn't know what else to say. Curse this nervous side of his.
Y/n offered him a small smile as they gathered the baked goods they purchased earlier. Neither of them knew what to say. “Well I should get going. I’ll see you tonight Azriel.”
“Az... please... call me Az.” Their smile grew even wider.
“Goodbye Az, see you soon”
As Azriel watched them walk out of the bakery he knew his life was complete, and that this- y/n, the bond- was worth the 500 year wait.
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azriel (acotar) x reader
word count: 751
warnings: lots of angst angst angst
*sorry I've been MIA, I haven’t had too much motivation recently! But I hope you enjoy this even though it is a bit shorter!!
The scalding water cascaded down your back. You were lost in your thoughts. When did things get so bad between you and Azriel? Your mate, your other half, the one whose soul was intertwined with yours. When did it change?
The bathroom door squeaked open and you turned your head. Azriel walked in, handsome as ever, with a solemn expression on his face. He strode over to the sink without glancing at you and quickly washed his face. Sighing he looked down and kept his hands planted on the counter.
You peeked your head out of the shower, grabbing your towel and wrapping it around you. Then you slowly walked over to Az, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Do you- Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No.”, He answered briskly
You could feel the small flower of hope in your chest being crushed and withered. “Oh, ok”. You hesitated before pulling your hand off of its spot on his shoulder. Your face fell and you walked out of the bathroom, head hanging low.
There was a time when he would’ve opened up to you. A time when he had the most brilliant smile when he saw you. A time when he wouldn’t have hesitated to join you in the shower and be consumed by domestic bliss. But those times are gone now.
You were standing at the stove when Azriel walked into the kitchen.
“I made dinner tonight. It’s your favorite. I was thinking maybe we could eat together tonight. Just the two of us”. You fiddled nervously with your hands, holding your breath waiting for his answer.
“I can’t. I have too much work.”
Of course he would say that. You didn’t know why you even got your hopes up, it had been months since you had spent time together, months since you had been intimate with each other, hell it had been months since you had a proper conversation. Sighing, you responded with a quiet “Ok”, and started to make your way to your shared bedroom.
“Are you not going to eat, y/n?” Azriel asked
“I seemed to have lost my appetite, Azriel”.
“If you’re mad at me about something, you should just say it”
You couldn’t help the exasperated laugh that escaped your lips. “I should just say it, huh?” you scoffed, anger starting to boil up. “I shouldn't have to say it Azriel”. He actually winced at the venom in your voice. You only used his full name when you were angry at him. 
“But of course how would you know that, you’ve muted the bond for months now. When was the last time we had a proper conversation? When was the last time we ate dinner together, spent time together? Cauldron boil me, when was the last time we had sex? It’s been months, Azriel, months. I feel like I'm losing my mind. You barely sleep in our bed anymore!”.
You let out a strangled cry. “Gods, I can’t do this anymore. I am so tired Az. I’m tired of coming second. I’m tired of being on the sidelines, just there when you want me to be. What happened to you? What happened to us?”. You couldn’t help the tears that escaped your eyes when you finished talking.
“I’m sorry” he sighed. “I just have some important things going on right now. You know that times are tense between all the courts, I can’t help that I have a job to do.”
Important? Important!? You could feel your blood boiling as that word ringed through your head. “And am I not important to you? The person who has been your mate for centuries, who has been with you through all of your dark times?”
Blinking away the tears that were flowing out of your eyes you sighed. The two of you stood in silence for a few moments.
“Just answer this one question. If something happened and you had to choose between me or the night court, who would you choose?”
His wings rustled, head hanging down. Biting your lip you nodded at the answer hanging in the silence.
You looked at Azriel, the usual glimmer in your eyes gone, “Just so you know, I would raze down Prythian for you, go to hell and back for you, betray my friends if it meant saving you. That's how much I love you.” Your voice broke at the end. “I would’ve chosen you. Always.”
You turned away from the counter heading towards the stairs.
“Good night, Azriel.”
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lexi-imagines · a month ago
traitor (Azriel x reader)
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses
Warning(s): angst. cheating(ish). breakups.
Word Count:   1813
Prompt:   I was asked for Azriel angst. Then this happened.
I’m not saying you should go listen to traitor by Olivia Rodrigo while reading this but you should go listen while reading this.
    -     -     -
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies/ I played dumb but I always knew
She was beautiful. There was no denying that. All the Archeron sisters were. Anyone who didn’t notice it would be a fool. Elain might have been the loveliest of them all. It was understandable when Azriel’s eyes would move to her when she came into a room. And after all the trauma the girl had been through it made sense that he would want to be there for her. He had always helped those who needed it. Of course the girl would be no different.
But his visit to Rhys and Feyre’s home kept getting longer and longer. His eyes lingered longer. And when he was with you it seemed like his mind was elsewhere. Sometimes when you met his eyes you could swear there was something like guilt lingering there, but it would be gone the next second.
All of that could be explained. It was nothing to obsess over. Then he started smiling at her. One of the rare smiles you had only seen a handful of over the centuries. He would leave your side during gathering with your friends and move to hers. And you would watch him. How he spoke to her and how close he stood. After a while you decide you were better off not watching.  
So you knew. You knew what he felt or was beginning to feel for her. You felt him pull away from you and move towards her. But he was still yours and you had always given him your trust. He had never betrayed that trust, so surely things weren’t what you thought.
Ain't it funny/ How you ran to her/ The second that we called it quits?
“Tell me why.” You spoke calmly and watched Azriel as he stood across from you in the sitting room of your house. Watched as he stood silently after saying he no longer wanted to be with you and he would leave so you could stay in your apartment. The words had come from his mouth so easily. No hesitation laced his tone, no guilt. There was no place for discussion and you saw the annoyance flicker in his eyes as you questioned him.
“It’s what I want. That’s the only reason.”
“You could at least have the decency to tell me the truth.”
It was unbelievable. You didn’t understand how he could so easily throw away centuries. Centuries—you spent centuries by his side. Through wars and amarantha’s reign. You’d seen every part of him and never balked, never turned away. Now after it all he was walking away. So easily.
He didn’t need to tell you why. You’d known. You knew him better than you knew yourself. The moment that look had entered his eyes, you’d known. All the time he’s spent with her. You knew what it was. She needs a friend. Is what he told you.
“There is no reason why. I don’t love you anymore. Maybe I never did.”
He didn’t look at you again as he walked out the door. He didn’t stay to see you slide to your knees—your chest feeling like it was caving in on itself. You stayed like that trying to get your heart and lungs to work properly but you couldn’t breathe. One of your hands rested over your chest as you took gasping breaths. You couldn’t believe it. He had walked away. He left you. The pain in your chest refused to recede as tears fell down your face.
That is how Mor found you hours later. She held you as your silent tears turned to sobs. After gathering a few of your things, she winnowed you away. She took you to her Athelwood Estate. You’d been there once before and knew it was her place away from others so the fact that she brought you here made the pain in your chest ease just a bit. Once inside Mor had practically forced you to eat and then you told her what happened. If your chest hadn’t still felt like it had been clever apart you would have laughed at the red that took over her face as the anger built up. Then she was on her feet after you told her the last thing he said.
“I kill him. I will and Cassian will help me.”
It was probably true. You got close to all of them over the centuries, before you’d ever fallen for Azriel.
“No, Mor,” you said. “I would never ask any of you to choose between us.”
“I already have!”
That did draw a laugh from your mouth.
“It won’t change anything. He made his choice.”
You must have fallen asleep a while after Mor brought out a bottle of her favorite wine because the next thing you knew you were waking up to sunlight streaming in through the windows. You’d gone about the day as normally as you could until she got back telling you the two of you could stay as long as you wanted. You decided to ignore the extra spring in her step and where it had likely come from. The two of you stayed there for a week before you went home.
Walking back into your apartment was one of the worst experiences of your life. Any trace that Azriel had once lived there was gone. It was like he’s been removed from existence. Of course, you knew he was perfectly fine in a house across the city. You took a breath and walked inside going through your usual routine. Luckily, you wouldn’t be there long. Rhysand needed you to go to the Winter Court to sort out some new agreement. So you got what you needed and sent Mor a message asking her to go apartment shopping with you when you returned.
Now you bring her around / Just to shut me down
Morrigan was one of your closets and oldest friends. She was the reason you met Azriel, so even though the two of you were done, you never considered ending your friendship with her. Until the moment Azriel walked into Rita's, a certain brunette at his side.
You’d only been back from Winter for a day. The trip had done wonders for your spirits. Viviane was another one of your closest friends, as well as Kallias. When she’d asked how your spymaster was you’d told her what happened. Viviane’s anger had rivaled Mor’s. The Lady was ready to winnow across Prythian to get to the spymaster. Only Kallias had been able to calm her even if the High Lord himself looked a bit vexed. The trip had only been a week and the negotiations had definitely not required you to be there. You assumed it was Rhysand’s way of helping you the only way he knew how.
It’d been two weeks since Azriel ended things with you. Two weeks after nearly four centuries, he was with her, holding her in a way not meant for friends.
Remember I brought her up/ And you told me I was paranoid
You’d asked him. So many times you had given him the chance to tell you how he was feeling. Chances to end things without it breaking you.
“I see how you look at her Az.’
“You’re being paranoid, love.”
All those assurances had been lies. You couldn’t help wondering if you hadn’t even realized when it started. You thought you noticed immediately,, but maybe he’d wanted her longer than you thought. If he hadn't, how could be with her so soon?
“I know you Azriel and I know what I see. “
He came closer and took your face between his hands, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
“I love you. And only you.”
How many times had he been thinking of her when he said those words? How many times had he wished you were her as he held you. Mor came running to your side, pulling you out of those thoughts..
“I’m sorry. I didn’t-”
You shook your head. “It’s okay. I’m gonna go.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“You really don’t have to, Mor.”
She held up her hand. “You’re my best friend. If you’re going, I’m going.”
She linked her arm through yours and the two of you walked out of the bar. Walking beside Morrigan it was hard to do anything but hold your head high.
And I know that you'll never feel sorry / For the way I hurt
You looked around at your empty apartment. It had been your home for so long. You picked it out with Azriel and made it a home with him. It couldn’t be that anymore. I would never be again. Not when you saw him with her at every gathering with your friends. Not when you saw them at your favorite restaurants and shops. Each sighting felt like a new betrayal and even your own apartment wasn’t a space free of the reminders. Now all of your things were packed and moved to your new home. The only thing left was the small bag at your feet. You were ready to winnow away when there was a banging at your door.
Azriel stepped past you and walked inside the apartment after you opened the door.
“You’re leaving.”
“I am Rhysand’s emissary to the Winter Court. I can do my job much better from there.”
“This is your home and you’re leaving it.”
That sparked anger deep in you as well as the pain that came from hearing his voice for the first time since he left. You made to walk back to the door and show him out.
“It’s not your business anymore.”
“I’m sorry for thinking we were both mature enough to still be friends even if we’re not together.”
You froze in place. “Why would I want to be your friend? You lied to me and hurt me.”
“I never lied to you.”
“It took you two weeks!” A choked laugh left your mouth. “You would tell me you love me and then run off to her. I asked you about her. Time after time and you lied to me”
“I never—”
“Maybe you never slept with her, but you were with her, Azriel.”
“You promised me. The only thing I ever asked you for was honesty. But you don’t care and you’re not sorry.”
You were silent for a moment, your shoulders falling and a sigh falling from your lips.
“You betrayed me, Azriel. Deep down you know it. That’s why you’re angry.” You picked up your bag and walked to the door. Before stepping through you turned back to look at him and met his eyes.  “I hope she was worth it. I hope you’re happy, Azriel.”
God, I wish that you had thought this through / before I went and fell in love with you
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naturallystupidforyou · 2 months ago
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ cassian x reader x azriel
.・゜-: ✧ :- cassian wants a baby. sm//ut
You couldn't recall how long you've been here. It could be hours. Days. Years. You could spend the rest of your life here and you wouldn't mind. Not as long as you were theirs.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Az and I fucking you until you're with child? Fuck, I want nothing more than to watch as you swell, tits get heavy and filled with milk. As you become a desperate little whore for Az and I. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Az and I filling you to the brim with us?"
You couldn't reply as Azriel fucked your mouth, the choked sounds as he pounded without forgiveness the only response you gave. That and your trembling walls, tightening around him. "And what would you say, Az?"
Cassian fists your hair, jerking your mouth away from Azriel. Azriel lets out a hiss, fingers curling around the air of the table. With a hard thrust, let out a whimper. Cassian's thrusts slowed, the pause had you grinding back against him. The heat in your belly, the one that neither started nor ended in your cunt, throbbed with need.
With them.
During his pause, Cassian waits to see if you need a break. If you need his relentless neverending pace to let up. You shook your head, Cassian's rhythm where he left off.
You were certain you'd have purple bruises on your hips. You knew Azriel would take great care in rubbing a salve on them, in kissing away the soreness after he presses into the fresh intensity of them, reveling in the jerk of your body and the sounds that came from you.
"What?" Azriel demanded. His hips buck against the empty air, the arm pinned high on your back grasping a handful of Cassian's thick arm. You look up at Azriel. "Would you like to see our dearest Y/n with your child? My child? They're fucking marvelous as it is, of course, but Cauldron, I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands off them,"
Azriel heaved, cock straining harder if possible. Cassian released your hair, Azriel taking back his place. You gagged around him. He buried himself to the hilt, resting against the back of your throat. Cassian cursed at the sight. At how well you took them both.
Azriel waited until you adjusted to his size — until you were no longer fighting for lovely oxygen — before his pace slowed. "I think she'll have to earn it," Their conversation — as casual as it would be if they were asking about fucking flowers or the weather — only continued.
Azriel's cock left you thoroughly gagged, unable to offer input of any kind. It drove you insane. Your nails dug into Cassian's wrist. "I think they're doing pretty well now, wouldn't you say? Do you remember there was a time she could hardly take one of us? Now, look at her. A wonderful whore,"
You moaned. The sound was only drowned out by Azriel's pace quickening again. Cassian smacked your ass, the color now tinted with pale pink.
Hot spurts of cum shot down your throat, the salty taste of Azriel filling your mouth. You swallowed. Azriel pulled out, crouching down to kiss the top of your head. He smoothed his scarred fingers through your hair, brushing it out of your eyes. You panted, only able to focus on the pressure Cassian was putting on your clit. The pressure building in your core.
"You're doing so wonderfully, aren't you, Y/n?" He waited until you nodded, kissing you gently. If he could taste himself on your mouth, he made no show of it.
You were so sensitive to the world around you. You could feel each vein on Cassian's cock, each touch Azriel left on you as his hand moved down, pinching a nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. His other hand gently tilted your head to the side, leaving marks in the wake of his mouth as he branded you as his own.
You clamped down around Cassian, crying when you came. Tired, body exhausted, and covered in sweat and fluids from the previous rounds they'd already put your body through. Cassian kept his pace, his hips hitting the back of you as he didn't ease up his touch on your clit.
"Azriel, Azriel, Azriel, Cassian, Cassian, Az, Cass, please—" Their names blurred together, muddled as you begged as another release built within you. Cassian came with a shout, leaning over you and kissing the back of your neck.
You clenched your jaw, nearly bursting into tears when he pulled out of you, entirely empty for the first time in hours. Azriel was already hard again, his gentle murmurings falling onto deaf ears when he stood again, taking Cassian's place.
"We should," Azriel says, all pretense from before was gone. "Fuck her until she can't walk. Until she can't think of anything other than how full of our seed she is,"
Cassian chuckles, tilting your head up, "I think she's nearly there," Your eyes rolled back when Azriel pushed himself into you. Your walls quivered, tightening down onto his large girth.
"What would you like, doll?" Cassian's hazel eyes darkened. "Do you want our baby? Do you want the frenzy that comes with it? You can hardly keep your hands off us now. You'll be insatiable. Do you want that?"
Your cries as Azriel fucked you answered enough.
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honeymandos · 26 days ago
Okay, okay, okay sooo I love Azriel…. So maybe like a comforting after a nightmare situation? Just really anything with comforting Azriel because I love him. ❤️❤️🥰😘 No rush just wanted to ask!
Azriel comforting you after a nightmare
Azriel knows all too well what it's like to be haunted by your own mind, the twisted and mangled renditions of your past
He knows that sometimes, coming down from them, the best thing he can offer you is his touch
He's never been a male of many words, but when you need them, he'll provide them, his voice a gentle and soft lull in your ear
Even when you're thrashing and screaming, half of you still muddled in your dream, he's there beside you, waiting for the worst to pass before he wraps his strong arms around you and lets his shadows twist around your wrist comfortingly until you're breathing better
He knows the cool touch of the writhing shadows help you, sometimes. They bring you back.
If you don't want to talk about it, he won't push you, simply laying down with you in his arms and petting your hair.
If you do want to talk about it, he settles beside you, eternally patient as you fumble through the story and only interrupting to brush tears from your cheeks.
He stays up for a while longer even after you slip back into sleep, watching the peace return to your features again. It's only after he's sure you're sleeping soundly that he allows his own eyes to drift close, pulling you tighter against his warm body
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