#azriel x reader
azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings; cursing, smut, wink kink, poorly written smut im sorry im not good at this rip, maybe out of character azriel
word count; 4705
warnings; ‘ can i please have a wing kink smut with cassian or azriel? there’s a serious lack of x reader fanfic with these two’
a/n; i needed to create a plot to this and kind of fucked this one up all on my own :) hope yall enjoy (i mean i pray yall like this i cry every day my writing sucks so hard) also i think of matthew daddario as azriel in this hence the gif thank u for coming to my ted talk
“I dont need another lecture from the two of you.” You rolled your eyes as you stomped your feet in the mudroom to the townhouse. When you were done cleaning the mud off of your shoes as you seemed fit, you walked away, slamming the door in Azriel and Cassian’s face.
Cassian angrily reopened the door and followed you into the living room where Amren’s ears not-so-subtly perked up. “You can’t just go around picking trouble at the Illyrian camp’s, Y/N. And especially not Devlon’s camp. If he finds out you’re under my supervision and catches you? I’ll never hear the end of it.” Cassian said sternly. Azriel just watched on, his face stern and tendrils of shadow still as the one behind him.
“One; I can’t train properly when you two meatheads are always acting like I’m either A, something made of glass or B, some kind of juvenile who’s less of you. And two; I shouldn’t even /be/ under your “supervision” in the first place! Why is that, huh? I’m not some petulant child!” You shouted at them, having been fed up for a while.
“You sure are acting like one.” Cassian replied, arms crossed. You scoffed, insulted. You looked to Azriel but all he did was glare on at you and when the look of hurt on your face grew, you could have sworn a flash of remorse was seen in his eyes.
“That’s fine. You both can act all high and mighty as you want. I’m not training with either of you anymore. Sign me up for the war camp and I’ll train with them. Properly.” You told Cassian, your voice indicating just how tired of their shit you were.
“Don’t be an idiot. That training takes months to complete. You’d be forced to leave Velaris for months.” Cassian warned. You stopped right in front of them and glanced at Azriel. His expression had gone from stern to slightly worried. You knew why. He was worried you were serious.
So you said, “I know.” Without breaking your gaze with the shadowsinger, and headed up to your room.
The look in your eyes when you made it clear to Azriel you were leaving twisted the knife in his back that much more. You were right, though. Cassian was too easy on you. He didn’t believe in your ability to keep up. So you often went to places where they didn’t care who you were. Just another person picking a fight. You lost most of the time and came home with bruises.
Not anymore. You packed your bags that night and set out for the camps the next morning. It was uncommon for a non-Illyrian to try and join and most who did were declined. But Devlon knew you were in Rhys’ inner circle and would be reprimanded if he told you ‘no’, so he accepted. And so you lived there. For two months.you trained and lived there. They offered for you to take the boys’ cabin but you respectfully declined. Besides getting allowed in, you didn’t want special treatment.
Azriel would see you when he came to visit with Cassian. Sometimes he’d stay to train the youth but in reality it was to check in on you. Devlon reported there were no issues. In fact you were quick to learn and at this rate were to participate in the Rite. When Azriel relayed this information at the townhouse Cassian nearly shot out of his seat. “What? No! She can’t!” He shouted. “Cassian.” Rhys warned but Cassian barely heard him. “I don’t think she should either.” Azriel said as calmly as he could. He spared a glance at Mor who knew just how frantic Azriel actually was.
“She’s going to get killed. No female Illyrian has won the Rite in more than a hundred years.” Cassian said. “And Y/N isn’t even Illyrian.” Rhys muttered. Mor looked slightly concerned. In reality she was freaking out. “Can she even participate?”
“The Rite involves wings being bound but that’s the only Illyrian-centric thing about it. Y/N already doesn’t have wings. I see no reason why she can’t and especially because Devlon said she would.” Rhysand stated, looking around. He had known you as long as he had known Azriel and Cassian. You were his friend. But you could also make your own decisions.
“The Rite is in a week.” Azriel stated and everyone looked to him. After leaving that boyhood behind, they often lost track of Illyrian schedule. Everyone stared. Cass spoke up. “Let’s see if she’s ready.”
The next day they visited the camps again and requested to see you and your training immediately. Luckily, you had gotten up early that morning, done your chores and already begun your training. In this case, it was sparring with a line of Illyrian boys and girls that matched your ranks. You were going against people two times your own size. Cassian held up a hand and turned to Devlon. “She’s going to get crushed. Should she really be training with those people?
This caused Devlon to chuckle. “You should have more faith in your friend, Cassian.” Was all Devlon said before sauntering away.
You noticed the figures approach the edge of the ring right as the referee announced it was time to start. You knew the Illyrian you were fighting. Male. Tall. Nearly twice your weight. He was arrogant and cocky. You watched him fight the other Illyrians. He left his neck open on his left side constantly. This would be easy.
You feigned a right hit to which he went to block and you took the opportunity to hit his gut. Today was hand to hand combat, your favorite. “You’re not even Illyrian. Weak High Fae bitch.” He snarled as he went in for a hook. You dodged and turned, using your right foot to knock him down along the way. You heard him snarl from behind you. You had your back to him. He saw it as weakness. You knew it was bait.
The male got up and charged at you, completely missing when you side stepped him. His size made it difficult to turn around quick enough to block the hit to the liver. When he finally had the chance to get you on your back, from grabbing you from behind and flipping you, you kicked his face. He went in for a right hook once you rolled away. This is what you were waiting for. His right hook made him drop his left arm to which you dodged his hit and instead punched him straight in the throat.
He went down in a sputtering fit of coughs and the referee held your hand in the air to signal you had one. The next Illyrian walked up. Someone equally as big and brutish. This time he was smarter. More of a challenge. You took a hit to the side and face. But that was it. A kick to the knees and a swift left hook and you had knocked the guy unconscious. When you had gone through the entire line of Illyrians waiting to challenge you, you spat blood at the edge of the ring. Only then did you notice the two Illyrians that had walked up were Cassian and Azriel who were now looking on with a sort of awe.
You rolled your eyes before grabbing a towel and stepping down. They followed. “When did you learn to do all that?” Cassian asked. He had doubts about you before. But now he didn’t doubt you could kick his ass. “When people stopped treating me like I was fragile.” You retorted. You had to be on your way to spar some more. This time you were training with swords and knives. You were excellent at throwing knives and just needed to practice your swordsmanship with your left hand. It was already really good. Just needed perfecting.
“You’re participating in the Rite?” Cass asked. You stopped and turned to Azriel, only glancing at him. If you looked at him for too long you started to feel guilty again. “I am.” You said matter-of-factly. Cassian sighed. “Good luck. I’m impressed.” Cass whispered, clapping you on the shoulder. “It’s nice to not hear bullshit out of your mouth, Cass.” You joked and he smiled in relief. You were friends with them. But for a while now you just needed to show them you could do more than they thought. “Just take the damn compliment.” Cass smiled for a moment before his eyes went glazed for a moment.
“I need to head back. Rhys is summoning me.” Cass gave you a quick hug and kissed you on the cheek. “Good to know we are on speaking terms again. I’ll come and see you after the Rite is over.” Cassian promised. There was something in his voice though. That worry you recognized. He would come see you when it was over if the Illyrians didn’t kill you first. And almost everyone in this camp wanted you dead.
When Cass left, you were alone with Azriel. “You did so good.” He congratulated you. You smiled shyly. “Thanks.” You blushed, You had been mad at Azriel before but you could never stay mad at him. You loved him. Mor knew how much you did as well. Well, Mor knew how much you loved each other. You stared into his hazel eyes for a long time. “Az, I-”
“Y/N, I-” You both started at the same time. You both stopped and started laughing. “Let’s go back to the cabin and talk. I haven’t seen you in a while.” You suggested. He looked puzzled. “Don’t you have training?” He asked. You rolled your eyes and looped an arm through his. “They won’t miss me.”
“I wanted to say I was sorry for up and leaving like that. Leaving Velaris behind without saying goodbye. I knew I’d be back. I originally planned to only come here to train and then get strong enough to kick you and Cassian’s ass and come back and prove it to you. But,” You trailed off and Azriel nodded.
“But Devlon offered for you to participate in the Rite.” Azriel inquired and you nodded silently. “And you took it.” He clarified. You nodded again. He sighed long and hard. You’d known Azriel for a long time. He was quiet to everyone else but not to you. You understood him. You spared a glance at his hands. The hands you loved so much. The hands you loved to touch even in passing. You wanted nothing more than to hold them. They made him feel flawed. They made you feel safe. He hated them. You adored them. But you knew it was in vain. You knew Azriel was in love with Mor and no one else. Azriel had lovers before but he told you they really didn’t mean anything to him. You didn’t resent Mor for it either.
In fact, you had loved her all the same. No hatred there. You loved and supported her. It wasn’t her fault Azriel loved her. So you wouldn’t blame her. Meanwhile Azriel had gotten over Mor a long time ago. He had fallen for you after you routinely bandaged his hands in order for him to train properly.
“You don’t have to do that.” He tried to stop you as you reached for his wraps. You gave him one of the softest smiles he had ever seen. “It’s alright I don’t mind.” You said simply as you touched one of his hands lightly. “They’re ugly.” He tried to make it sound lighthearted. A joke. “They’re beautiful.” You had whispered but quickly pulled your hand away. “Does it hurt? I’m so sorry I just started touching the scars and I didn’t even-” You began rambling but Azriel chuckled lightly. A sound you wished you’d heard more often. “It doesn’t hurt.” He smiled down at you. You nodded and began to wrap his hands.
You didn’t judge him. You thought his hands were beautiful. He glanced at your hands and found a large scar across the back of your right hand. “What’s that?” He asked, coming to sit closer to you. “When I first got here, I was shit at using a sword with my left hand. So I grit my teeth and slammed my right hand in a doorway. I fractured more than four bones and split my thumb in half. It forced me to learn with my left hand.” Azriel ran his hands over the scar.
“Are you insane?” He asked with disbelief. “I survived.” You looked down at the man examining your hand. You felt at ease with him. He looked so comfortable. His shoes off, leathers tossed on the kitchen table, the blue of his Siphons catching your eye. That color had become your favorite. Now, he was in a pair of skinny jeans and a tee shirt, wings out and relaxed.
“What if I don’t make it?” You finally let yourself ask. Azriel looked at you. He put a hand up to cup your face and you leaned into his touch. You’d never know what it’s like to be his. That smile that shone so bright when he allowed it. You would never see that again. You would never know what it felt like for those hands to roam your body. You shook the last part from your thoughts.
“Don’t say that.” He whispered. It was more like a plea. “I might not. I’m not Illyrian. You and Cass and Rhys were the strongest of your age and survived. Barely. But that was because you had each other.” You breathed out. “From what I saw today you’ll kick all of their asses and then come back and kick ours too. Pro tip, arm yourself with the bare minimum. Too many players will be armed to the teeth. It leaves them as targets for those who didn’t bring anything and it gives attackers too many options to kill them with.” Azriel stroked your hair as he spoke to you. He knew the action calmed you.
When Rhys had gotten back from Under the Mountain you had panic attacks at night of the possibility of Amarantha coming back and taking Azriel instead. He had laid with you until the late hours of the morning, stroking your hair, your legs intertwined until one of you fell asleep.
“I don’t want to live without you Azriel.” You blurted out and his face heated up. “Me neither.” He let himself admit and you let out a breath of relief. He pulled you in for a hug and you came face to face with his wings. The strong and magnificent wings he didn’t need to be a complete and total badass. If he didn’t need them, you didn’t either.
“I love you, Az.” You whispered. He held you tighter and whispered it back. You smiled. You examined his wings further. The strong membranes that spread across his back. You’d seen them in flight. You’d gotten so close to them before and yet you didn’t know what they felt like.
A thought popped into you head. You reached forward without thinking and grazed his wing. Immediately he shot up from where he was sitting. You stood up too.
“I’m sorry did that hurt?” You asked. You truly didn’t know. You saw the wings all the time but never asked. Azriel let out a breathy chuckle. “No. They’re just extremely sensitive.” He explained and you made an ‘o’ shape with your mouth. You both stood in silence. “Sorry, I just, especially because it’s you they’re sensitive.” Your face heated up. Azriel mentally smacked himself and the shadows around him closed in on themselves a bit more in embarrassment.
“Wait, so they’re sensitive in what way?” You asked, a grin on your face. Seeing Az flustered was your new favorite sight. His silence told you enough. “Az you don’t need to be embarrassed. When I said I loved you I didn’t mean platonically. You know that right? I love you unconditionally and just because you get a little turned on when I touch your wings doesn’t mean you need to be embarrassed.”
Azriel looked at you with disbelief. This was another quality about you he loved. You were so honest. All the time. “And if we are being honest, i’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of those hands just roaming my-” You didn’t have a chance to finish your sentence. Az had taken a chance and winnowed to stand right in front of you. He took his face in your hands and kissed you, hard.
His lips were rough and soft all at the same time. You loved it. Your arms wrapped around his neck. “But what about Mor?” You asked and his voice was husky as he answered. “She knows I love you more.” A small smile played on his lips and you nearly melted as you kissed him again.
“Mother, you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.” You told him and he smiled the biggest smile you had ever seen on Azriel. “Really, now?” He said, a hint of amusement in his voice as he backed into the couch and sat down. You straddled him. “I need you Az.” You whispered and he looked up at you, his eyes sparkling with innocence. With careful ease he lifted your shirt over your head before picking you up by your thighs and carrying you up the stairs. You knocked into a few pictures along the way. He offered to winnow but you wanted to feel the journey there. “Such patience.” He commented when your reached the landing. You smirked. “Only for you my love.”
He grinned when he reached the bedroom, dropping you onto the bed. He tore off his shirt and crawled above you, stretching his wings out to reach their full span. You reached up to stop yourself. “Go ahead.” He whispered before dipping his head down to kiss your neck. You obeyed and went to stroke one of his wings. When your hands made contact you felt him shudder above you. And when you moved your hand you heard a soft whimper come from his lips.
Azriel pulled away for a moment to look at you. “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.” He smiled, eyes raking all over you. You grinned and flipped him over with ease. “I love you, Shadowsinger.” You whispered, grabbing one of his hands and kissing it. You felt him harden even more under you. You grinned as he leaned up and kissed you once more, his hand bracing your back as he stood laid you back down under him. Az pulled away only to slowly drag your jeans down and your underwear off.
You felt exposed to the cool air but quickly warmed up as Azriel’s mouth attached to your core. “Y-You don’t have to do this.” You manages to stutter out. Azriel’s eyes flicked to yours and he lifted up to meet your face. “As long as it feels good, I want to. I want to make you feel good.” He whispered, nipping at your ear. You shuddered as he trailed kisses back down.
When he reached the slit, he licked a long stripe upwards and when he reached your clit he settled for nibbling on the bundle of nerves. “Fuck you taste so good.” Only a few times in your life have you heard any real obscenities come out of Azriel’s mouth. Hearing it now only made you wetter.
He kitten licked a few times before sticking his tongue inside as deep as he could, bringing his thumb up to put pressure on your clit. You felt ecstatic. Like your nerves were on fire and it was just you and Az and no one else for miles. In Night Court. In Prythian.
“Az.” You whispered his name like a prayer. He only hummed against your body in reply. “Az your mouth. Holy shit.” You could only mutter as you felt the familiar feeling of your muscles in your body tightening all at once. “Azriel.” You moaned out, feeling you twitch at the sensations.
His fingers gripped your hips tighter before you felt his touch disappear all together. You whined as a response, opening your eyes. He stood before you and one of his hands reached out to caress your face.
You grinned, biting your lip, sitting up and moving to crawl towards him. Az’s hand cupped your face and pulled you up slowly to meet his. When his lips touched yours you melted, hands going for his jeans and unbuttoning them carefully.
When he slipped his jeans and underwear off you were in awe. “I guess the wingspan theory is true.” You smirked at him, switching places and guiding him to lay down. You followed and went to straddle him, rubbing yourself on his cock. He nearly cried out from the touch.
“You’re so hot, writhing under me like that.” You smirked and Azriel rolled his eyes as he bit his lip. You lifted yourself to align his cock with your slit and finally slid down, moaning as you did so.
“Fuck.” Az moaned out, quickly flipping you beneath him. “Touch my wings while I fuck you. It feels so fucking good when you touch them.” He spoke through what sounded like strained breathes. Your hands reached up and softly stroked his wings.
“Im yours.” You said dreamily through the pleasure. Az moaned out your name. “You’re mine, Y/N.” He opened his eyes and stared down at you. “I have waited so long to feel this, baby. You’re perfect.” You told Az and with one hand reached down to touch his hands.
You brought his right hand up to your mouth and kissed as he slammed into you. Everything felt lovely and sensual and purely erotic all at once. And now that you knew Az liked to have his wings touched, you would use that to your advantage.
You used your nails to lightly scratch and drag your fingers down his wings. Azriel automatically moaned out and his wings fluttered, filling the room with cool air. “Bad girl.” He slammed into you just a bit harder this time, causing you to moan out.
“That’s it, moan for me.” Azriel commanded, bringing one of his hands to roam over your breasts. “I love these.” He nearly growled and you felt a muscle tighten in your stomach. “Fuck, Shadowsinger.” You moaned and he grinned, dipping his head to kiss your neck. “You gonna cum for me baby?” You moaned out as he spoke.
All you could do is nod. “I’m so close.”
“Don’t come til I say.” You told you, pulling away from your neck. Your toes curled as you tried to hold in the pleasure. “Wait.” He commanded. “You’re doing so good baby.” He whispered and you finally used your strength to stroke one long stripe across his wings and he growled.
“Come for me. Now.” So you did. You let him unravel you. And in turn he did too. You felt his body twitch above you before he pulled out and collapsed next to you.
You both stayed quiet for a long time before Azriel piped up. “Did you mean it?” He asked through the warm glow of sunlight through the cabin. “What?” You asked, rolling over onto your side, pulling the blankets up around you. “When you said you were mine?” He whispered, bringing a hand up to move hair from your eyes but stopping himself. You smiled and moved to force his hand to touch your face. “Yes. I mean’t it. If you’d have me. Az I have loved you for so long.” You told him and his smile widened.
“I mean’t it too.” He smiled, propping himself up and kissing your cheek. “I guess this is a good luck gift. For the Rite.” Azriel caressed your skin. OH YEAH. You thought to yourself. I have that too.
Azriel, Rhys, Cassian, Mor and Amren all lined the treeline to the Illyrian forest where the Rite had been taking place. The traditional Alumni scouts had reported only four contestants remained. Rhys had promised everyone he wouldn’t cheat by accessing your mind while you competed. The competition had really only been going on for a week now. It was moving faster than any other Rite before.
“Do you think she’s made it this far? Or. . .” Mor let herself trail off as she looked up to Cassian. Her arm was looped through his and Azriel caught himself staring. Not because he was jealous or concerned or wished it was him. But because he noticed that for once in his life he felt none of those things. He had you. You had said so. Now, he just hoped he didn’t lose you the moment he got you.
“I think we should all have a little more faith in-” Amren stated, standing as tall as she could. The announcer interrupted the small woman to announce an update. It was predicted that the Rite would end today. It was why Rhys was there. He was given his own section of course, but he was there with what seemed like fifty other Illyrian families. Rhys felt for them for only a moment before noting their faces. They expected this. They weren’t going to weep when they didn’t see their son or daughter or brother or sister emerge from those woods. They were going to cheer for whoever did emerge from those woods. Because they were the true warriors.
“Four contestants remain and make their way to the north side of the mountain.” The exit. Like they were instructed. Where their families awaited their return. “They will arrive in what is estimated to be ten minutes.” The announcer quit speaking and retired to the watchtower.
“Well,” Amren said, taking a swig from her bottle of wine. “We will find out if little Y/N is stronger than we thought soon enough.” She sighed, walking away. Mor gripped Cassian tighter in worry and Azriel found Rhys staring at him. “I know.” Rhys held up a hand and set it on Az’s shoulder, guiding them to walk. “How did you-” Azriel asked. “I caught on after you started visiting the camps more often. You smiled more. Your shadows were less rigid. I never looked into your mind. Or hers. I just knew.” Rhys said calmly.
They walked in silence for a while after that, occasionally stopping for Rhys to say ‘Hi’ to some scattered Illyrian children. But Azriel finally stopped. “I love her.” Azriel said softly. “I know.” Rhys replied. Azriel was about to say something when the siren went off and they only had time to spare some glances before racing back to the Inner Circle’s post.
In the distance, past a short line of trees, Azriel and his friends could make out four figures limping towards the finish line. As they got closer he made out you hanging off the arm of an Illyrian male no older looking than a human age of thirty, and opposite of you, another Illyrian boy and girl your age.
You looked like hell. Your hair was a dirty mess and your clothes were torn nearly to shreds. Your face was bruised on one side and the Illyrian male who was with you was helping you walk. But your eyes landed on Azriel’s and Rhys’ and Mor’s and Amren’s and you forgot about your injuries. A smile spread from ear to ear as you abandoned your ally and bolted for where your friends waited. Something swelled within your chest as you ran and ran despite your lungs already burning.
But Azriel caught you as you fell into his arms all dirty and broken. He caught you and he stroked your hair as your friends surrounded you both in a hug. “I did it.” You said in disbelief. You made it through the Rite. You were one of Prythian’s true Illyian warriors without being an Illyrian.
You were home. And with the love of your life. You made it. And they couldn’t be more proud.
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Wake Up Call - Azriel/Reader
Warnings: Smut, Cunnilingus, Dom/Sub Undertones
For @thatdamfae , soooo i tried to make it fluffy but my thirsty ass brain went the other direction, i hope smut’s okay with you 😅
- It always starts with light caresses. From the nape of your neck to the bottom of your spine and back up again. Over and over
- Then he gets bored of simple touches and presses soft kisses to your face, lingering and sweet. He moves down to your neck.
- He begins to grow impatient waiting for you to wake up and sucks the delicate skin of your neck, harder than his previous attempts at waking you but still ever gentle.
- Your eyes flutter open and you realize what he’s doing, so to screw with him, you close your eyes and let of a soft moan. You felt him move, likely looking up to you, but you allowed yourself to relax, sinking back into the plush mattress and evening out your breath.
- He suspects, Mistress, Shadows purr in your ear. You already know, he’s the most skilled spymaster in Prythian, but you trusted in the shadows to never betray you.
- You feel his mouth moving downward, his stubble scraping your skin in the most delicious way.
- He continues his trek down until his mouth meets your chest, still bare from your many bouts of lovemaking the previous night and presses open-mouthed kisses to your breasts, one and then the other, making sure they get fair treatment.
- Your next moan is involuntary, and your gasp as his lips reach your peaked nipples, licking and nipping and sucking at them.
- Your plan is becoming increasingly harder, and you have a sneaking suspicion that he knows that you’re toying with him.
- He takes a nipple in between his teeth and tugs gently, and you’re trying your hardest to keep from panting. It’s still a wonder to you how he can be so skilled with just his mouth, how he can have you coming undone before his touch even reached between your thighs
- You were still, however, confident that you’d be able to keep up the charade, you had always had unbelievable self control.
- That self control began to fray as he kissed the undersides of your breasts, down your stomach, lingering to nip at your hip bones and you feel your thighs clench together, trying to satiate yourself.
- He notices the slight movement and lets out a dark chuckle, forcing your thighs apart and teasing you with a single finger.
- You gasp quietly and your hips move ever so slightly against his finger, entirely of their own accord of course.
- That single finger circles lightly, but not light enough for it to leave you unbothered, usually you’d already be gasping and moaning and begging him to stop teasing.
- He adds another finger, they circle your clit a few more times before moving down, and the bed dips and groans as he lays between your spread legs. His fingers tease at your entrance and waste little time plunging inside of you.
- Your control is nearly gone as the twisting scars scrape your inner walls, you moan again, slightly louder this time.
- But you know it's over for you when his mouth meets you and he sucks hard on your clit.
- You cry out, your entire body reacting after so much teasing as you shoot forward, your fingers lacing in his silky black hair
- He laughs against you and even his hot, uneven breath makes you quiver in pleasure
- He pulls away from you, earning a whine of protest from you that he silences with a hard kiss. The hand not pleasuring you trailed up your body and wraps around your neck, pushing you on the bed until you were laying on the pillows.
- Your eyes meet Azriel’s as he watches you for any signs of protests and when he finds none he grins and kisses your nose.
- “I can’t say I appreciated your little game there, Love.” He says, your eyes widen, this is a side of him that he rarely shows.
- “What are you going to do about it?” You challenge, and he laughs, sending a shiver down your spine.
- “Punish you.”.
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━━━ azriel x reader
✩‧₊˚.༄ meeting azriel and being mates would include...
✧˖*࿐ (a/n: this is far longer than intended, but i got carried away... enjoy!)
- The mating bond didn’t snap in right away, but both of you certainly felt... something.
↳ As soon as he met you, Azriel was inexplicably drawn to you; he didn’t know why, you weren’t particularly extraordinary, he simply was. After your first interaction together, he couldn’t get you off his mind - it would always somehow wander back to you, to the way you spoke, the way you smiled, the way you moved. Azriel found it maddening, he couldn’t figure it out. You weren’t much better, either; you knew you should be intimidated by him - it was, of course, entirely rational. Azriel was the Spymaster, the Shadowsinger; his powers were feared by all. And yet, you found that you weren’t. You were intrigued, if anything. He was a mystery - an enigma - and you wanted nothing more than to unravel him.
- Azriel began to go out of his way in order to run into you.
↳ He started by visiting the bookstore where you had met and hesitantly initiated a conversation with you about your favourite books. You ended up convincing him to read said books after finding out that he hadn’t even heard of most of them. A week later, you discussed them over coffees at the small café that you adored. Soon, you were seeing each other every weekend, going on walks through the streets of The Rainbow, talking about everything and nothing as though you had all the time in the world.
- You both fell for each other long before you knew you were mates - hard and fast.
↳ You found it quite embarrasing how quickly you caught feelings for the male - you thought you had more control over yourself than that. But fate, it seemed, had other plans. Whenever Azriel was near, your heart would beat noticeably faster - you became hyper-aware of him, noticing even the slightest of movements he made. He made you nervous, not because he was scary, but because of the passion he caused to stir within you. And as for Azriel himself, he was even more enamoured than you were. He found himself marvelling at your beauty, astounded that he hadn’t noticed it right away. When you smiled, the stars danced within your eyes; when you laughed, it sounded as though a chorus of angels laughed along with you. Oh, but it was your mind - that wonderful mind of yours - that truly captivated him. Azriel couldn’t believe how one person could be such a visionary, so utterly unique. When you voiced your thoughts, they were unlike anything he’d ever heard - your ideas entirely novel. As he fell asleep, Azriel often found that your voice - your words - were the last thing he thought of before he closed his eyes. To say he was enthralled by you would’ve been an understatement.
- The bond snapped in place for Azriel first.
↳ It happened the night you went stargazing on a warm summer evening. You laid in a small meadow beneath the infinite sky, hands intertwined, so close that you could feel the warmth radiating off of each other’s body. You were talking about all the different constellations, who named them, what they represented etc., and Azriel was just watching you ramble with the smallest of smiles on his face. He could hear you talking - hear the sound of your dulcet voice - but he wasn’t actually following your words. He simply couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have met someone like you. And then it happened - just like that. In mere seconds, his life changed forever.
- It took you feeling the bond as well for Azriel to admit his feelings.
↳ After that night, Azriel became more distant. You barely saw him; he never came to your favourite café anymore, he avoided the bookstore, and whenever you locked eyes with him in the streets, he would disappear before you had a chance to say anything. You couldn’t understand what had changed - why things had changed. It was by chance that you ran into him again; you could barely sleep at night and the exhaustion was beginning to wear you thin, so you went to the apothecary to get something that might help... only to find Azriel there, too. The moment your eyes locked, you felt it - you felt the bond click into place. You stood there gaping like a fool long enough for Azriel’s shadows to inform him of what was happening, and the next thing you knew, you were back in the meadow where you had gone stargazing weeks before, staring in shock at the male whose soul was eternally bound to yours. You talked things through, tentatively sharing your thoughts and feelings, your hopes and dreams, and everything in between. And the rest was history.
- Azriel often feels as though he is unworthy of your love.
↳ You can always tell when he’s feeling like this as he starts to pull away from you. When you notice this happening, you make it known in every way possible not just how much you love him and why you love him, but why he deserves such love. Whether it be in the form of a poem, a love letter, physical affection, or just outright saying it - you always make sure Azriel knows that he is worthy of your love, that he is not defined by that which he fears.
- When you’re together, he’s always touching you in some way.
↳ Whether it be holding hands, an arm around your waist, or just being close enough to you that your arms are brushing, he likes to feel that you’re there, that you’re okay.
- Kissing his scars whenever he feels insecure because of them.
- Azriel playing with your hair as you read with your head laying in his lap.
- Alternatively, him laying his head in your lap and you reading aloud to him as he falls asleep to the sound of your voice.
- A few of Azriel’s shadows constantly swirling around you - a whisper of darkness that feels like a cold breeze on a hot summers day.
- Waking up to see him gazing lovingly at you, his hands softly tracing a line up and down your spine, and giving you the most tender smile when he notices you’re awake.
- It’s a fact that Azriel has the sexiest morning voice ever known to man. It just is.
- Nose kisses.
- Forehead kisses.
- Hand kisses.
- Just kisses. Everywhere.
- Baking together.
↳ Azriel’s hidden talent is baking. On those cosy winter afternoons when the fire’s blazing and the snow is drifting slowly down from the skies, you’ll spend hours in the kitchen together making all sorts of treats. Az tends to take the lead, deciding who gets to do what (and usually cleaning up the mess you inevitably make) but you always end up doing the icing, if necessary. You definately do not intentionally smear said icing on your cheek just so Azriel will scrape it off and let you lick it from his finger. No.... you’ve totally never done that....
- Him calling you ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart’.
- Comforting him when he has nightmares.
↳ Azriel will often wake up in the dead of night struck by terror at the memories of his past that haunt him. During these moments, you hold him tightly in your arms, whispering to him over and over that you’re here, he’s not alone, they can never hurt him again. Some nights, he’ll stay awake until dawn, and you’ll talk to him about anything that comes to mind to distract him from the terrors that plague him. On other nights, Azriel will fall asleep in your arms, feeling safer there than anywhere in the world.
- Azriel randomly buying you little gifts.
↳ Words aren’t something he’s great at, so he prefers to express his love in other ways: through physical affection, and small acts of devotion. His go-to is whichever book you have been wanting at that time, but flowers, jewellery and art are also common gifts he might give you. Or, if he’s visited somewhere special during a mission, he’ll bring you back something that’s unique to that area.
- Blushing whenever he calls you beautiful.
- Being one of the few people who can regularly make him laugh - truly laugh. (It’s perhaps the most wonderful thing you’ve ever heard.)
- Around you, Azriel’s humour jumps right out.
↳ You’re always shocked when someone mentions how aloof Azriel seems, because around you (although he’s still a quieter person than most) he’s so lively. The sarcasm, the sass - it never stops. You and he could go back and forth for hours if someone didn’t stop you. You roll your eyes so much it’s a miracle that they haven’t fallen out of their sockets yet. Not a day goes by where Azriel doesn’t raise an eyebrow and make some kind of witty remark.
- When he’s jealous, Azriel will make his shadows surround you even more so than usual, and - if he’s close by you - he’ll even wrap one of his wings around you to let everyone know that you are his, and he is yours.
- Dancing on the rooftop together, the only music being the sound of each other’s hearts.
- If you’re sad, he’ll just hold you in his arms and send all the love and reassurance in the world down the bond, letting you say exactly what’s on your mind without interruption. If you’re the kind of person who can’t talk about their feelings, he’ll gladly sit and hug you all the same. Azriel sometimes hates that he can’t vocalise all that he wishes to say, but his presence alone is all you could possibly wish for.
- Lots of hugs from behind, with Azriel resting his chin on your shoulder and pressing a small kiss to the crook of your neck.
- Being best friends with Mor, and Cassian and Rhys are like your older brothers.
- Having a strong friendship with Amren also, and no one can understand how you two came to be so close.
- Training together.
↳ Azriel tends to worry a lot about something bad happening to you, which is understandable given that you’re the most important person in his life. He was surprised to find out that you were already rather capable of defending yourself; when armed with two twin shortswords, you were practically unstoppable. Nevertheless, you still train together rather frequently and, over the years, you’ve progressed so greatly that it isn’t uncommon for you to best Azriel in a fight.
- Him taking care of you when you’re sick.
↳ Azriel’s shadows inform him the moment something changes for the worse. He’ll make sure you are properly taken care of and will tend to your every need without complaint. When you’re at your lowest point, he’ll be right there beside you, making that which is unbearable slightly more tolerable. When you start to feel better, Az might become a little overbearing; despite your insistance that you’re feeling better, he’ll still be cautious for a short while afterwards, wanting to be absolutely certain that whatever made you ill in the first place has completely passed.
- Azriel playing the piano for you.
↳ You never knew he could do such a thing, but when you found out, it just made sense. Of course he can, you’d think to yourself - it was, for some inexplicable reason, such an Azriel thing for him to be able to do. He’ll write you the most beautiful symphonies that never fail to make your eyes well up with tears. If you ask, he’ll even teach you how to play, placing his hands above yours as he gently guides your fingers over the keys.
- Being the little spoon and falling asleep with one of Azriel’s wings draped over you.
- Eventually starting a family together, and swearing upon every star in the night sky that you’ll never let anything happen to the people you love more than life itself.
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hi! i saw ur taking requests and was wondering if you could do something with azriel and him finding out the reader is his mate please (basically just him being a cute over protective bat boi)
A/n: Sure baby 🧡 Constructive Criticism is always welcome, please be polite xx Sorry this took so long I've been heaps busy amd had no motivation. Enjoy!
"Mor!" Feyre's voice rang through the estate.
"Feyre!" She called back from her spot on the couch next to Cassian. Cassian let out a wince at her voice in his ear and she scoffed dismissively at him.
Feyre swept into the room, paint and flour staining her fingers.
"What have you been up to?" Cassian asks raising a brow and Azriel gives a low, barely audible chuckle from his seat on the other couch.
"Mor did you say Y/n was planning to come round for the day on the Solstice?" Feyre asks, ignoring the comments on her appearance.
Y/n was an Illyrian female who had her wings clipped when she was young. Mor had run into her in an escape attempt from one of the less progessed Illyrian camps and offered her safety in a small apartment in Velaris.
Since then Y/n had become very close to the Inner Circle, but especially to Mor who made it a point to visit Y/n every day and make sure she was comfortable and happy in her new home.
Mor slid her eyes to Azriel sneakily. Since Y/n had started to be around them more often she had noticed a change in Azriel's behaviour.
He was louder around her, came out of his shell a bit more and he had warmed up to her faster than she had ever seen him do with anyone.
"Yes, if that's okay with everyone. Else she'll be alone and honestly I don't like the thought of leaving her alone on the first holiday since her escape. Or any holiday for that matter." Mor sat up straight as she spoke, glancing cautiously at everyone.
"What are you talking about?" Rhysand's voice sounded as he entered the room behind Feyre, "Of course we're all okay with it." He grinned cheekily and wrapped his arms around his Lady's middle.
"Invite her Mor! Everyone loves her. Besides I already got her a gift." Feyre adds and Mor grins at them.
"Great! I was planning on visiting her this afternoon. Anyone care to tag along?"
"I said anyone not all of you! Her home is not big enough for everyone without it being cramped." Mor complained as they walked through the streets of the City of Starlight in a big, intimidating, messy clump.
"Y/n won't care. She loves us." Cassian shrugged indifferently, amusement written across his face as Mor continued to scowl.
She, once again, took a sneaky glance at Azriel only to see him sporting a grin as they continued on their way.
"Getting excited Az?" Mor teased and his grin was replaced by confusion.
"For the solstice?"
"I meant for going to see Y/n, but making a move on her on Solstice seems something to look forward to as well." Mor joked. By this time, everyone was in their own conversation and trailing slightly behind the two.
"A move?" He inquired, red beginning to tint his face.
Mor smiled. Contrary to popular belief, she was happy he was developing feelings for her. It meant he was moving on to someone who could give him what she couldn't. And they were going to be adorable together.
"Don't think I don't see the way you look at her Mister. The way you act around her. You're like Cassian, but a gentleman when she's around. No turtle shell." She nudged his side with her elbow and was shocked into a silence when he chuckled.
"I'm not going to make a move Mor. I have a foolproof plan. Not say anything and hope she falls in love with me." Az shrugged and Mor giggled.
An excited squeal left Y/n's mouth as she threw open the door to Mor, the High Lord and Lady and everyone's favourite Illyrians.
She moved out the way to let them all enter and they filed into her lounging room, taking up all the seats.
"I didn't expect you all to be over! Did anyone want something to eat?" She offered as she sat on the arm of the chair next to Cassian.
Cassian wrapped an arm around her waist and looked up at her with a cheeky grin.
"Cooking for me sweetheart? You shouldn't have!" He winked. Cassian was always very flirty with Y/n, but it was only a joke.
Azriel didn't like it. He bit down on his tongue to stop himself from growling. He was annoyed with himself. It's never been difficult for him to keep his features schooled. What was it about this female that caused him to lose control so easily?
Y/n rolled her eyes, but she still had a bright smile on her face.
"What would everyone like? Actually I have some raspberry brownies I made yesterday, if you don't mind them being a little cold? They're still quite fresh." She stood from her spot next to Cassian and gestured towards her kitchen.
"You are an angel!" Cassian exclaimed and Y/n just shook her head, eyes twinkling with amusement.
Everyone cheered at her suggestion and she moved towards the kitchen. As she walked, Azriel could see the scars on her wings and back from when they clipped her. He had a sudden urge to go to that camp and rip apart everyone who let that happen to her.
A few moments later she reappeared with brownies and everyone jumped up, crowding the small table she had set them on.
"I'm afraid there isn't much to do around here. I still need to get a few Solstice gifts so maybe we could head out into town?" Y/n spoke and they all laughed at her sweetness.
"Y/n, you are too sweet for your own good." Rhys told her with a chuckle and everyone nodded in agreement.
"It's easy to be an accomodating person when you grew up knowing what it was like to be shunned and neglected." She gave a shrug and the Inner Circle exchanged worried looks.
It was also easy to worry about a person who never had anyone to worry about her before.
"We'd love to go shopping with you Y/n." Azriel stated firmly and Mor and Feyre eyed him carefully.
"Brilliant! We can all be together for a while, but then we have to split up so you don't see what I get you." She ushered everyone up and towards the door, grabbing a small satchel on her way out.
Moments later they were walking through the strips in town, colours and lights and music everywhere.
"So who are you struggling to buy for Y/n?" Cassian asked with a nudge that, again, made Azriel bit his tongue to keep from losing it at his 'brother'.
"Mor and Rhys." She admitted sheepishly and Rhys gave a fake offended look.
She muttered a sorry, but Rhys just laughed and reached around to pat her on the shoulder and let her know it was okay.
"We should stop and get a drink!" Mor remarked before gripping her friend and pulling her into a nearby pub.
As Mor oulled her away, Y/n gripped tight onto Azriel's elbow and dragged him along too.
"Get him!" She ordered, nodding to Cassian.
Azriel chuckled at her demand and pulled Cassian along with him by the shirt.
He joined the females at the bar and ordered and paid for himself and Y/n.
"You didn't have to do that Az." She told him, quietly, red tinting her cheeks.
"I know. I wanted to." He tried to shrug nonchalantly, but the blush on her cheeks was screaming at him to press his lips to each cheek.
'Woah. Where did that come from?' He thought to himself. He knew he harboured some feelings for her, but that was...
"We've lost Feyre and Rhys!" Mor exclaimed and Y/n and Azriel were brought out of their stupor.
"Oh well, that's alright, we were going to split up anyways." Y/n said decidedly after looking around.
"Y/n." Azriel's deep voice called and she returned her attention to him.
He pushed her drink across the counter to her and she gave a sweet smile.
"Any ideas on what to get Rhys?" She asked him and he smiled back at her.
"Some kind of sentimental shit. He'll eat that right up." He joked and they both laughed.
She took a thoughtful sip from her drink then placed it down again.
"What about a locket? On one side I could have a picture of all of us. On the other, Just me and Rhys. It would be circular, with the Night Court Insignia engraved on the front." She seemed to vomit the words without even thinking.
Azriel was in awe.
"How do you do that?" He gaped and she raised a brow.
He opened his mouth to reply, but stopped. He looked around once more.
"We've lost Mor and Cassian." He pointed out, kicking himself for being so unobservant. So lost in the female before him.
"That's alright. You and I can go get Rhys' present ordered then. Then we'll go for a walk and see if we can find something for Mor." She lifted herself off of her stool and skipped towards the door.
Azriel followed without a second thought, a smile spreading across his face.
As they walked through a strip filled with clothing stores, they began to move closer and closer to each other.
Y/n glanced down at his hands. She had wanted to hold it, but she'd never touched his scars before and she didn't know how he would feel about it.
Only a few seconds later, Azriel brushed his fingers against hers and took hold of her hand. He didn't even think about it.
She stopped still and let out a gasp at the touch of his scars and he froze. He ripped his hand away from hers and began to apologise profusely.
"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I know, the scars are-" He was cut of by her grabbing his hand gently.
"Beautiful," She mumbled, holding eye contact with him as she brought her lips to one of the nastier scars on the back of his hand, "they're beautiful."
And that's when he felt it. It felt like everything was right and clear. Like before he was seeing the world through frosted glass and now there was no lense.
The word clanged through him, just as it did her.
"Everyone has scars Az," she looked back at her wings for a moment then turned back to him, beaming, "they're a symbol of strength. They're beautiful." She repeated.
"Y/n..." He mumbled.
'What if she didn't feel that?' He worried.
"I know Az. I don't know about you, but-"
"I couldn't be happier!" He stopped her talking and pressed his lips to hers gently.
The kiss was sweet and loving and happy. It was accepting. Azriel was quite happy just to stay like that for the rest of the night, but all good things come to an end.
Just as they pulled away, Cassian's obnoxious voice echoed down the street. No doubt about it, he was drunk.
"Y/n! Help me!" He yelled even when he was right in front of the two.
"You are drunk." Az observed and Y/n giggled.
"Thankyou Spymaster Obvious! C'mon Mister let's get you home." Y/n teased her mate and dropped his hand.
"Take me home? At least by me dinner first, love." Cassian teased and pressed a sloppy, drunk kiss to her cheek.
Azirel didn't even try to stop the growl that ripped from his throat. That was his mate.
"What's eating him?" Cassian asked and Y/n took a step closer to Az.
"Calm down Azzy. Help me with Cassian, and just ignore him." She leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
When she returned to her own height, Azriel found himself leaning down, chasing her lips.
She put a hand on his mouth and giggled at his pout.
"Let's all get home Azriel. Then... I think I'll make us some dinner."
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azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: self doubt/insecurity, slightly angsty, fluff
word count: 1288
summary: you know azriel loves you, but you can’t help but feel like he could do better.
a/n: ok so this wasn’t requested but i wanted to write something with my favourite bat boy to kick start this account so i hope you enjoy! requests are open :)
“You know you’re being completely ridiculous, right?”
You groan, removing your hand from its position across your eyes as you glance over at Cassian lounged beside you on the bed.
“I didn’t invite you here to insult me, Cass. You’re supposed to be comforting me.” you whine, Cassian shaking his head with a chuckle in response.
“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t comfort you over something that doesn’t exist, Y/N/N.” he retorts, reaching out to poke you playfully in the side. “I mean, do you even hear yourself?”
“Of course I hear myself. And to me, I sound perfectly reasonable.” you grumble, sitting up and running a hand through your hair in frustration.
“Alright, let me get this straight. You think that Azriel, your mate of over 500 years, is cheating on you? Azriel, the man who has been hopelessly in love with nobody but you for said 500 years? That Azriel?” Cassian asks, eyebrows quirking up in amusement. “You’re insane.”
You roll your eyes, standing up from the bed and beginning to pace the length of it, anxiously chewing at your bottom lip.
“I never said I thought he was cheating on me, Cass. I know that Az would never. I was merely saying that maybe he’s decided that he wants a change.” you explain, stopping before him as he rests his chin on his hands whilst listening to you. “I mean, you said it yourself. We’ve been together for over 500 years now. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to experiment with someone new. Someone better.”
Any amusement on Cassian’s face disappears at the utter seriousness of your words. He stands quickly, placing one hand on your shoulder and grasping your chin gently with the other, forcing you to look at him.
“Hey, woah, what are you talking about? Azriel loves you. He would never want better and could never do better than you. You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” he reassures, heart aching at the sight of one of his closest friends looking so vulnerable before him.
“What if you’re wrong? What if he’s not happy anymore?” your voice breaks, lip trembling as your words sink in.
What if he wasn’t happy anymore? What if you were the reason he was unhappy? What if he’s only still with you to spare your own feelings? What if-?
You’re so lost in your own spiral of thoughts that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps of your mate, only becoming aware of his presence when it’s too late.
“What’s going on?” his cool voice breaks the silence that has befallen upon the room, his eyes flitting between you and Cassian before landing upon Cassian’s hands on your face, his jaw clenching tightly in response.
Cassian notices his mistake and quickly removes his hands, stepping back from you sheepishly and moving to stand beside Azriel. He offers his brother a sympathetic smile before leaving the room, throwing you a quick thumbs up over Azriel’s shoulder.
“What was that about?” Azriel questions, voice cold and shadows swirling dangerously around his tightly closed fists. “Are you-“
He cuts himself off abruptly when he sees the tears running down your cheeks, face falling at the sight.
“What happened, my love?”
He quickly moves to you, instinctively reaching for your hand. You flinch away, Azriel freezing at the action, instantly pulling his scarred hand back to his side.
“Did I-“ he begins, voice breaking slightly and shadows closing in around himself, almost as if he is trying to protect himself from any potential responses you may give. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“Do you still want to be with me?” you blurt out.
Azriel flinches back as if you’ve struck him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Of course I do. Why would you ever ask such a thing?”
You shake your head, more silent tears falling as you begin to pace before him again.
“I wouldn’t blame you, you know? 500 years with one person is sure to be tedious, especially considering that person is me.” you admit, laughing bitterly. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted something new.”
Azriel just stares at you in disbelief, racking his brain for all the things he’s done and said that could have possibly made you feel like this.
“Something new? Darling, what- did Cassian say something to you? To make you think these ridiculous things?” he asks, voice hardening at the thought.
“What? No. Of course not.” you respond, pausing your pacing but still not meeting the Illyrian’s eyes. “And it’s not ridiculous, Az. It’s okay. I’ve seen the way you look at Elain and it’s fine-“
“Woah, woah, woah” he interrupts you, stepping closer until he’s standing right before you. “The way I look at Elain? What on earth are you talking about?”
You sigh, finally meeting his eyes and he swears his heart breaks at the utter defeat and despair he finds within them.
“Ever since she’s arrived you’ve spent most of your time with her. You’ve accompanied her to the garden, you’ve taken her on walks around Velaris and it’s okay, Azriel.” you say, smiling sadly at the man you love. “I understand if you want to try something different. Elain’s lovely and I’m sure she could make you very happy and that’s all I want for you, so-“
“Stop.” Azriel tells you firmly, removing any distance between the two of you as he reaches for you, cupping your face delicately between his scarred fingers. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again.”
You can only stare back at him in surprise, eyes searching his face for any indication of what he’s feeling but all you find there is anger and pain.
“How could you ever think that? That I would ever want to be with anyone who isn’t you.” he shakes his head. “You’re my mate. The love of my life. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember and you are it for me. You’re my past, my present and my future and no one else could ever compare to you. Sure Elain’s a sweet girl, but she’s only a friend. She is not and could never be you.”
Tears begin to cloud your vision once again at his declaration, a small sob escaping your throat as you surge forward, clutching his shirt tightly in your hands as you press your lips to his.
He responds immediately, one hand staying on your cheek whilst the other moves around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. He tries his best to express his love and adoration for you through the kiss but he knows deep down that no words or actions will ever be able to convey his overwhelming love for you.
You break the kiss, breathless as you rest your forehead against his. You tilt your head slightly to press a kiss to the tips of his fingers as they lightly graze your features, earning a shudder in response from the winged male before you.
“You promise you’ll tell me if you ever want out? I don’t want to be the cause of your unhappiness, Az.” you say, voice quiet and laced with anxiety.
“You could never make me unhappy, Y/N. Cauldron, you have made me the happiest man alive, even though I still believe I don’t deserve you. I fall more and more in love with you everyday and I thank my lucky stars for whichever god decided to give me the blessing of having you as my mate.” he confesses, eyes fluttering closed as a few tears of his own fall. “I love you. And I will gladly spend the rest of eternity proving that to you.”
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Umm hi I don’t know if you still take ACOTAR requests anymore but if you do can I request an azriel x reader where he’s in love with her and is afraid of rejection but he doesn’t know that she loves him too? 👉🏻👈🏻
hi nonnie, i’ll always accept an acotar request, hehe! did this in headcanon form, hope you don’t mind <3 it’s quite long and a little rough around the edges, but i hope you like it! ps. tumblr mucked up the formatting, some dot points don’t want to be indented. i hope it still makes sense x
when your and azriel’s paths crossed, it was the mother at work again. after mor, azriel didn’t think he’d ever have the strength for love again. the aching and the pining had taken their toll, and the appeal of the mating bond had faded. to feel it all again, to risk his heart like that again - he couldn’t. and yet, the mother saw fit that he would.
he first met you in the palace of hoof and leaf, and it didn’t mean anything at the time; a stranger’s kindness, or if he indulged his cynicism, a hawker’s ploy. you were a commoner, a milkmaid who came to sell your products in the markets. he’d been at the neighbouring stall, waiting for the clerk to put together the only tea brew in prythian that could placate his migraines.
“sir, mr. shadowsinger, sir,” you called, “could i offer you a sample of my goat’s milk? maggie-may is very special, her milk can be just as good as a healer’s work, i swear it. try it, try it, sir.”
azriel looked you over, glad that cassian wasn’t here to make that particular moniker stick. one brow raised in dubiety, he nodded and held out his hand - might as well, he thought, tired and getting ever more desperate for his tea. this didn’t show outwardly, of course; azriel’s face was as neutral as ever, his shadows coiling about his talons. your gaze was expectant as he tried the sample, and while it was a little too earthy for his taste, he nodded all the same. perhaps it had encouraged you too much, because then you asked: “could i perhaps persuade you to buy a pint?”
azriel had no interest at all, yet he couldn’t help but notice the detail: your fraying sleeves, the imperfect glass bottles, the beginnings of dark circles under your eyes. and yet you were smiling, you were sweet, being very generous for someone who had to presumably make a living selling fresh products. not for the first time, azriel made a purchase that only someone of the inner circle could afford, and one that didn’t really benefit him. “i’ll take several,” he said, looking at the handful of wooden caddies, mostly still filled with milk bottles. “i’ll take it all.”
the clerk then handed azriel his brew while you stood there, wide-eyed and speechless, working through a range of emotions. at first you thought he was mocking you, but when he turned around again, fiddling with his coin pouch, you realised he was serious. “but, sir— maggie-may’s milk sure is delicious, but only in moderation— i couldn’t expect someone to buy it all—”
“as much as you’d let me, then,” he amended, being mindful not to impose or patronise. you bit your lip, trying to tally up the ultimate price, trying to gauge whether this man could even afford it. two gold, you said, trying your luck. azriel merely fingered his coins, placing the expected two and an additional three on the counter. he must’ve noticed your shock; you had frozen, after all, perhaps even stopped breathing. “since maggie-may is so special,” he drawled, earning a disbelieving laugh from you.
that night, cerridwen, nuala, and elain were very confused at the sight of bottles and bottles of milk laying in wait on the kitchen counter in the house of wind. the note - clearly by azriel’s neat hand - read: use within five days.
from then on, you always engaged azriel when you spotted him in the market. you could never forget his generous first purchase, and so while he waited for the tea master to finalise his special brew, you would entertain him with an endless supply of free samples of new products. over the years, azriel saw your business extend from milk to also include cheese and soap. he learned unnecessary things about your cattle, such as the supposed social dynamics and - mother forbid - adultery that mr. sweet pea the goat seemed prone to. over time, azriel grew comfortable enough to share some of his stories and observations, the things he’s seen in other courts. it took a while to realise you had become more than his mere acquaintance, and perhaps it was because you were outside his usual spheres of the inner circle and his spy network. to have someone outside was new, and a little jarring at times. the different experiences, the contrasting perspectives - it was refreshing, and reminded azriel how far he’d come since his miserable youth. when he was with you, the stakes weren’t so high, the conditions not so dire. you were a spot of calm, a reminder that life could be something other than the court’s defense.
one time when he visited - his tea no longer a requisite for him to make an effort to come in - you were noticeably subdued. “mr. sweet pea passed away,” you revealed, eyes wet and voice thick. something about that seized his heart, his shadows growing restless. “he was so special.” you actually said that about each of your cattle, something that azriel had started to find endearing, because he knew you really believed it.
social tact was not a strength of his - azriel knew he tended to be rigid and too formal - so he stumbled over some stilted condolences. it felt awkward and impersonal; azriel couldn’t empathise with the death of a pet, but he wanted to make it hurt less. he still remembered what the late goat had looked like the last time you had brought him in - an old thing, with a long beard and a mix of brown and black fur. strong, impressive horns, one which had a sizeable chip missing.
so that night, he did what he could and sketched that image he had in his mind, of mr. sweet pea looking very wise and ponderous, if a little tired. azriel’s time as spymaster had bestowed him a keen eye and dexterous fingers, allowing him to make the necessary sketches to give his colleagues a clearer picture when necessary - of maps, of creatures, of profiles. they tended to be a little rough and raw, nothing particularly artistic. he thought the same of his current piece, and hesitated over whether it was good enough.
when he finally gave you the sketch the next day, you went very still. he started stumbling over some excuses, but you soon interrupted him with a shaky breath. “this is so thoughtful, azriel. thank you so much.”
azriel grew bolder, and interactions started to occur outside the markets. he’d invite you for tea, indirectly revealing one of his interests. he was a hard man to read, his expressions subtle when not stoic, but you learned. outside of professional matters, he was rarely straightforward, and tended to express his emotions in delicate, layered ways. his care for you was in the way he listened, how his attention never wavered when you were speaking with him. it was how he kept you close when you two navigated busy streets, how he lifted a wing over your head for cover when it rained, how he was content to spend time with you at your stall - sometimes for hours - despite his preference for quietude.
when work took him away, you two would exchange letters. azriel didn’t realise how dangerous a thing it was, because you quickly became a very intimate and constant part of his life. the act of writing tricked him, making it easier to truly express his thoughts - there was no pressure of navigating the immediate reaction, no incentive to keep his words short. you managed to draw so much out of him. he was mindful of each letter of yours he received, keeping them safe and tied together with an old ribbon of yours he’d saved before you could throw it away. he would never admit it, but work abroad tended to be overwhelming: while secure in his network’s quality of intelligence, being in another’s territory always meant having to deal with various variables and vulnerabilities, usually unknown. maybe your letters would have made it all a little more manageable if they didn’t elicit such longing within him. your words made him smile, yes, but they also made his heart ache. he missed you.
after a lengthy assignment in the dawn court, azriel was relieved to be back in velaris. his shadows swirled and whispered around his shoulders, eager to feel your presence too. he knew they fascinated you, how playful they could be sometimes. yet, azriel couldn’t find you at your empty market stall. it was odd - you hadn’t mentioned moving in your recent letters, and he couldn’t find you in any of the other market squares either. soon his shadows grew restless, embodying the concern that was rising.
he employed his spy network to find your farm, hoping it wouldn’t be too intrusive to just show up unannounced. you had mentioned some details in passing before - it was a modest place, with a small house and a meagre hill of grass to feed a handful of goats and sheep. the door was answered by two worried faces, who took one look at azriel and grew even more distressed. “our son— it’s not our son, is it? it can’t be— he just—”
“i’m here to see your daughter,” azriel interrupted, too preoccupied to remember polite niceties. they were confused, guarded, but let him through. the hallways were narrow, his wings often knocking against the wall sconces. he listened as they explained your condition - an illness had befallen you, leaving you bedridden for days. apparently a healer had told them it’ll pass with rest and water, and with that reassurance, azriel forced himself to remember his place. right in front of your closed door, he willed his shadows away from his face, called upon his familiar impassiveness. turning around to face your parents, he amended, “may i see your daughter?”
your room was dark, the curtains drawn. his heart raced as he heard your laboured breaths, and something pulled at him when he saw the small desk in the corner, an unfinished letter atop it. “azriel?” you whispered, voice sounding so small. “is it really you?”
he neared, taking a cautious seat on the side of the bed. you were shivering, but the thin sheet covering you stuck to your skin with sweat. “yes, it’s me, sweetheart,” he said, the endearment slipping out before he could stop it. his throat closed up immediately after, but your vague movements suggested you didn’t even realise, and that you weren’t all there. he could see the feverish blush high on your cheeks, even in the dim light.
“you’re too big for this room,” you mused softly, making azriel smile despite his worry. indeed, he had to bend down to avoid hitting his head, and keep his wings tucked in uncomfortably tight. he took your hand in his, and even in your feverish haze, you could register the roughness of his scarred hands, but they always handled you gently. “why didn’t you tell me in your letters?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. your discomfort was clear in your frown, in your downturned lips. noticing the basin on the bedside table, he took the damp rag on your forehead and dipped it into the cool water, wringing away the excess before gently placing it atop your head again.
“i… didn’t want to trouble you with… with something trivial. a few more days and… and i’ll be back to work.” a weak smile pulled at your mouth, and azriel gathered both of your hands in his again. he shook his head at your line of thinking.
“your health isn’t a trivial matter to me,” he said, leaning close and cupping your cheek. in hindsight, it was so obvious that he had been in love with you far longer than he thought. it was all so rueful, the fact that he had let it happen again. despite it all, he pressed a kiss to your hand, trying to ignore how it trembled. your smile strengthened then, tracing a finger over his brow and down the bridge of his nose. azriel took a deep breath to savour the touch, and soon you two were merely watching each other, azriel wondering what thoughts were running through your slightly added mind. your lids eventually started to droop, however, but still he stayed even when you fell asleep, taking care to change the cool rag when necessary. his shoulders slumped when his head fell into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut tight. with such a revelation, what was he to do from now on?
azriel didn’t think he could be a good lover to you - even if he so very much wanted to be. his job took up so much of time, and it required him to be secretive. azriel wouldn’t ever be able to share everything with you, for the sake of keeping you safe. even if he could, there was just something in his nature that kept him reserved and pushed others away. there were so many things he’d rather leave in the past, and so many more that he wished he hadn’t been part of. there was that, but also his loathsome scarred hands - a reminder of those darker days. no matter how gentle, his touch would always scratch and scrape. once you took notice of how neglected they were, left to dry out and sometimes even scab, you took to work to concoct a nourishing lotion. “you have to be gentle with yourself, azriel,” you had once told him, gently applying the salve to his hands. they were rough but warm against your skin. “you do so much.”
and so, everything he did with you was tinged with a hint of sorrow. he couldn’t bring himself to confront you with the severity of his feelings, but he also couldn’t quite remove you from his life - you had become a friend. you eventually noticed that he started to let his touches linger: when he hugged you, he’d curl arms and wings around you, enveloping you wholly; when you were near, his shadows would stretch toward you, as if revealing a hidden desire. when you reached for his hand, he would always grip it firmly, and when you came very close for some unimportant reason, his gaze would always linger on your face, flicking so often to your lips.
one night you had invited him over to the farm, wanting to introduce him to the latest addition of your household: a baby goat, just over a week old. she was as white as snow, and kept nibbling at your hair as you held her in your arms. “what should we name her, azriel?” you had asked, too preoccupied to notice how tense he was, hands in his pockets. “i was thinking of marjorie, or maybe miss marjorie… hey, what’s wrong?” his face was unusually expressive, his shadows roiling about his talons as if in distress. putting down the goat, her legs still clumsy and gangly, you stepped closer to azriel, reaching out. he shook his head, trying to school his face but you knew him by now. your shoulders slumped, recalling his strange behaviour over the years - he was present in most ways, but avoidant in others. “i wish you’d talk to me, azriel,” you murmured, taking his hand and hoping he wouldn’t mind the dirt. “you mean so much to me.”
it all bubbled up then in that small barn, the light dim and the smell of earth pungent. you let out a rueful laugh, rubbing your eye. “i’m in love with you,” you said, very quietly at first. immediately you felt so naive to be doing this. the fact was that azriel came from a different life, one that saw him as a leader of the court, who worked with powerful and beautiful people, fae who were richer and stronger and vastly more interesting. azriel’s mere presence in your life was extraordinary enough. and yet, you had found yourself falling in love despite the impracticability of it, found yourself admiring his kindness, his quiet generosity, his strength and resilience and dry humour. you shifted, looking right into his eyes. even if your love was unrequited, he deserved to be told - if only to let him know that he indeed was loved by one more. “i’m in love with you. i don’t— i don’t expect you to say it in return, but i can no longer keep it to myself. i love you.”
that threw azriel. he had fantasised of course, indulged in the scenario. but now, as you waited for his response, his thoughts stuttered. what? he wanted to say, unable to believe what he actually so very desperately wanted to believe. you grew nervous as the silence lengthened, azriel’s face as stoic as ever. you shook your head, covering your mouth in regret. “i’m sorry, i— i shouldn’t have said anything—”
he gripped your shoulders tight, gaze intense and voice low. “i also love you.”
“why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” the solemnity which had tinged your relationship for some time was subtle, but you had felt it, and it had bothered you.
azriel’s hands came up to cup your face, and he quickly shook his head. “it’s not,” he said, he urged. “it’s not, it’s not.” and then his lips met yours, chapped and rough, kissing you slowly, thoroughly, firmly. the conviction made your heart melt, and you gripped his wrists, feeling his racing pulse and caressing it, kissing him back, standing on your toes, letting him steal your breath. “i love you so much, sweetheart,” he sighed against your lips, nose brushing against yours. you went to reply but then azriel had claimed your mouth again, one hand snaking around to your back and the other to the nape of your neck. the light shifted behind your closed eyes as his wings came down to envelope the both of you, and your fingers reached to tangle in his hair, to trace the shells of his ears.
when you two parted again, his grin was lopsided and a little wry. “i just couldn’t believe it,” he murmured, his eyes shining with emotion. why not? you wanted to ask, wondering what it was that had held him back for so long, but decided to delay it for another day. all you could do was hug him tighter, just glad for the sight of his smile and the feeling of his relief. glad for his happiness.
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Mornings - azriel
azriel x gn reader
warnings: a bit steamy, mentions of sex, cursing
azriel has been gone for a while and wants some alone time but cassian ruins it
The sun had only just begun to warm the morning air; the Sidra River far below us watching the city of Velaris come to life around it.
Stretching out in the bed big enough to fit at more than a few Illyrians, I let out a quiet sigh. There were no sounds from the other side of the bed. Hopefully Az was still asleep. He needed the rest—
“So, you’re finally awake.” Drowsy hazel eyes appeared at the edge of my vision.
I guess not.
He moved across the bed until his body covered mine, muscular arms braced against the soft mattress below me. Warm, calloused hands traced slow lines along my skin, heat blooming where they wandered, quickly replacing the morning chill.
But before things could get any further, a loud yawn slipped from my mouth – catching the both of us by surprise. Azriel’s head shot up, his quiet chuckle slipping through the moment. I let out a huff of air, squirming against his now motionless hands.
“Are you too tired?” He asked, eyes creasing with laughter even as his smirk tilted dangerously.
“Tired?” I question, his mouth ghosting along the curve of my neck making it difficult to connect words. “I seem to remember being the only one up for another round a few hours ago.” My fingers brush innocently against inside the arch of one of his wings and his mouth halts – a hot exhale igniting my senses. His whole body shivers at my touch, the gleam in those dark eyes as he looked up at me shooting my body temperature through the ceiling.
“I have some time to make up for it seems,” He murmured lowly, pressing a kiss to my jaw, the space underneath my ear, the hollow of my neck. Lowering himself slowly, his eyes drank in my features until his lips were only a few inches from mine.
Azriel’s head snapped away – his snarl crashing through the room like a cold wave of water to the face.
“Get your asses out of bed!” Cassian called in a sing-song voice, “No morning sex for you, Azriel, I want to see Y/N in the training ring.” The door handle moved like he was about to open it, and Azriel’s wings snapped open to hide our exposed bodies. Before the bedroom door could open more than a few centimeters, blue magic snaked across the room to slam it shut.
“For fucks sake,” Cassian laughed, “you didn’t even manage to lock the door last night?”
I began to snicker. Azriel looked away from the door long enough to toss a glare at me. It lacked any threat whatsoever, and I leaned up to press a kiss against his cheek before slipping out from under his arms – the sensual mood from earlier completely shattered.
His arms reached out to tug me back and no doubt finish what we started, but I danced out of his reach. Ignoring his growl of annoyance, I began searching through the strewn clothes for something to wear.
Cassian pounded on the door again. “Hurry up!”
Azriel groaned in irritation, sitting up to lean against the headboard. He watched me dress with a soft pout, shadows flickering around his shoulders.
I began tugging on my shoes, “Hold on, I’m changing.”
A pause. Then, “It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”
Azriel’s gaze snapped away from me, his growl low enough that I heard the door rattle.
“Shh,” I scolded, leaning over the blankets for a kiss.
He obliged eagerly, murmuring against my lips, “Kick his ass, my love.”
“Yeah, hurry up, my love,” Cassian mocked, scuffing his boots on the ground in impatience.
The look Azriel cut towards the door could have melted every snowcapped mountain on the continent.
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I Missed You (Azriel x Reader)
Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses
Word Count: 934
Prompt(s): “Everything alright?” & “I just missed you.”
Azriel had been gone for a month on an assignment for Rhysand. At first it was fine. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to go away. It wasn’t even the longest he’d ever been gone. But after the second week, you were miserable. You weren’t sleeping. Sleeping alone had never been an issue for you. You always preferred it. Apparently the Illyrian had gotten further under your skin than you realized.
Your mood continued to deteriorate. Instead of laughing at Cassian and Mor’s antics, you found yourself snapping at them. You apologized after, but it clued everyone in on your mood which you quickly brushed off as lack of sleep.
They weren’t stupid and neither were you. Figuring out what was really wrong wasn’t hard. You missed Azriel. Really missed him. It had been awhile since he’d been away. Your relationship had progressed a lot more than it had been back then. It wasn’t easy anymore. You didn’t want to be away from him. That realization didn’t help your mood. If anything, it made it worse.
You were quiet throughout dinner with everyone. Internally, you were grumbling about the new predicament you found yourself in. If you were honest with yourself, you were aware that it wasn’t new. You’d felt this way for a long time, but there was always something to distract you. But things had been peaceful since the war. There weren’t any more distractions so now you had to actually deal with these feelings. You weren’t looking forward to what that meant.
As soon as you were able, you excused yourself from dinner. You avoided anyone who might stop you, making your way through the streets as quickly as possible. All you wanted to do was get home, curl in bed, and try to at least get a few hours of sleep.
You let yourself into the house you shared with Azriel and chucked your shoes off as you stomped past the living room. There was light coming out of the living room as you passed and you caught a glimpse of something in the corner of your eye, but ignored it. You were nearly to the bedroom when your brain caught with you and you came to a quick stop. After standing in the middle of the halfway for a moment, you slowly turned and walked back towards the living room. You walked through the doorway to see Azriel reclined on the couch, a small smile gracing his lips.
A whine tore itself from your mouth as you launched yourself at the male. He chuckled as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you ever closer.
“I just missed you,” you mumbled, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You’re sure you looked ridiculous with the way you were wrapped around him, but It didn’t matter. You needed to be close to him.
The fact that he was back early lingered at the back of your mind. You were going to ask why but got distracted by tingling in your eyes. You wanted to roll your eyes and tell yourself to stop acting like a child, but couldn’t think past the flurry of emotions that were curing through you. So you just tightened your arms around him and focused on not letting the tears pooling in your eyes fall. Of course he had to wrap his wings around you, blocking out anything that wasn’t the two of you.
Tears streamed down your face as you sniffled, trying to get them to stop. You felt a small shaking under you and pulled back to glare at Azriel.
“Stop laughing at me.”
He stopped laughing, but the smile didn’t leave his face. He gently wiped the tears from your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You sighed at the feeling, a smile breaking out across your face despite the tears that still occasionally slipped down your face.
“I missed you too.”
He pulled you back to his chest tightening his grips around you. You closed your eyes and laid there listening to the sound of his heart beating. One of his hands stroked up and down your back and you let out a soft sigh. The sleepiness was weighing down on you but now you fought to stay awake. Minutes ago all you had wanted was to rest but now that he was here that was the last thing you wanted.
“You’re home early,” you said hoping talking might help you stay awake.
“Things weren’t as bad as we thought.”
You let out a hum. You started to lean more heavily into him before you jerked, remembering you were trying to stay awake. He turned his head to look down at you and you gave him a small smile. You sat up slightly to connect your lips to his. He pulled away too soon for your liking which he could tell from the small glare you sent him.
“Go to sleep Y/n.” He lifted you into his arms and made his way to your bedroom. The drowsiness was already creeping back over you before you even reached the hallway.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
He laid you on the bed, and you were quick to curl into his side when he joined you. You said a jumbled I love you and wondered if he could even decipher what you had said. He laughed and pulled you closer.
“I love you too. Now sleep.”
That was the last thing you heard before sleep finally overtook you.
A/n: I love him so much.
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Anonymous asked: heyy, I really love your writing! So, I was wondering if you could do an azriel x reader imagine, where they accept the bond, reader cooking for him, you know?
Hope you enjoy, lovely. I hope the slight alteration I made was okay. I mean, why should the female (though this is gender neutral) have to cook the male food if they’re equal?
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol?
CURLED UP ON the couch of your apartment, your eyes scanned the pages of the book in your lap. It was the day after Solstice, and you were nursing a headache due to Cassian breaking out the, as he put it, ‘good stuff.’
Nestling farther into the mess of blankets you’d gathered, you felt a shiver rake through your body. Winter wasn’t exactly the easiest time for you, considering you hailed from the Summer Court, so you had been in for a shock when you discovered that your apartment held no heating enchantment of any kind.
You had started a fire in the early hours of the morning, and you were nursing a mug of tea, but even with a fire going, a mug of tea, and many blankets, the cold persisted. Sighing through your nose, you set your book down, eyes drifting towards the small bathroom off the living room. You debated whether taking a hot bath would warm you up, but a firm knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts.
Shedding the layers of blankets, you gingerly set down your mug and made your way to the door, twisting the bolt, and finally the handle.
As the door swung open, your eyes widened as they came to rest on the face of your mate, Azriel. Well, he wasn’t your mate yet, you had barely even conversed. You had met when you arrived in Velaris, and unfortunately at the same time as you met the rest of the inner circle.
As soon as your eyes met the bond snapped into place, the sensation and shock causing you to flinch. Azriel’s reaction was worse, as soon as the bond had snapped into place for him, he was engulfed in shadows. He was gone when the darkness cleared, and while everyone was startled, only those who knew what it felt like, namely the High Lord and Lady, had known what transpired.
You could feel yourself deflate, mentally berating yourself for your reaction. A hand resting on your shoulder pulled you out of your thoughts. Rhysand squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, the gesture raising your spirits slightly.
Thankfully that was the worst of it, though, at first it seemed like Azriel was avoiding you. However, it soon became clear he simply didn’t know what to say.
Feyre had filled you in on his history. His feelings towards Mor, but the female had come out, and over time those feelings had diminished. That didn’t make you feel better though. Mor would never go after Azriel, you knew that, but could Azriel really rid himself of five centuries of feelings in a matter of months? No. You didn’t expect him to either, that wouldn’t be fair, and so you let him go, or tried to.
It was nearly impossible with your nightly walks. He would walk with you along the bank of the Sidra. Sometimes you would speak, about your life in the Summer court, and him in the Illyrian Mountains, but other times you didn’t. Simply enjoying the sounds of the river and the silence. Most nights were spent like that, and even when you’d tried to stop, tried to stop the feelings growing between you, you’d find yourself walking along the Sidra anyway, listening for him. The one night you hadn’t shown up was the night you’d received a letter from Tarquin telling you of your father's passing.
You had rushed back home, tears quietly streaming down your face as you sat with your back pressed to your door. A knock sounded on your door that night, and on the other side was Azriel. He didn’t say anything, but his hazel eyes were soft, and when he offered you his arm you took it, and you walked together until the breeze dried your tears.
“Azriel,” You say, leaning against the doorframe with a half-smile on your face. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“We have to talk,” He said carefully, his voice as steady as ever. You watched him for a moment, your e/c gaze scrutinizing his ruffled appearance. After a moment you nodded, stepping to the side so he could enter.
Closing the door behind him, you watched as he scanned your apartment before taking a seat in the armchair built for wings. Taking a seat yourself you cocked an eyebrow at him before speaking, “So, what do you want to talk about?” You knew full well what he wanted to talk about.
“Us... Our...” Azriel trailed off. “Mating bond?” You finished for him, leaning back into the couch. He nodded, his gaze failing to meet yours.
“I think I know what you're going to say,” You said, watching the Illyrian carefully before continuing.
“You don’t want to accept-” Azriel shook his head, causing you to cut yourself off.
“I want to. If you do of course,” He said, finally locking eyes with you. You were speechless. You had never imagined that Azriel felt the same way.
“I know we’ve only known each other a year, but, I like you, Your strong, resilient, kind. I would be honored to have you as my mate.” His words caused tears to form in your eyes, and when he realized he began to fluster.
“Wait! Don’t cry-I,” His blathering ended when you burst into laughter. The poor thing looked so confused that by the time you’d managed to rain in your laughter, seeing the expression on his face caused a new bout of laughter to begin.
“Oh, Azriel,” You forced out before lunging at the male and wrapping your arms around him. Luckily he was easily able to support your weight, but your next words almost caused him to drop you.
“I love you.” The words had slipped from your mouth before you could stop them, and you felt mortified when Azriel froze.
Pulling away, you averted your gaze. “Oh, Mother. I’ve ruined things haven’t I,” You muttered, tugging on your hair.
“I’ve gone too fast-” You were cut short when Azriel’s lips met yours. When he pulled away a small grin was on his face.
“I love you, too,” He told you, causing a grin to spread across your face as well. Giggling, you pressed another kiss to his lips and one to his cheek before pulling away, making your way to your kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Azriel protested, a groan escaping him as your body lost contact with his.
“You want to make it official, don’t you?” You asked, pulling the cabinet open to forage for something easy to make.
Azriel nodded enthusiastically in a manner you never thought him capable of. Chuckling, you were about to turn the stove on when it hit you.
“Wait. Why should I cook for you?” You asked, causing Azriel’s brows to raise. He shrugged.
“I resent that,” You lamented before waving him over. “What, Love?” He asked.
“I want to help me? We are equals, aren’t we?” You asked, holding out a wooden spoon. Azriel’s lips twitched, “That we are,” He agreed, taking the spoon.
“That we are.”
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Unrequited pt. 2
azriel (acotar) x reader
*this is part 2! Sorry for the wait guys! I really struggled with this and low-key I don’t like it but I hope y'all do! I wanna write the scenes after this but idk how im gonna make it work lol. anyway, enjoy!
word count: 3193
What you hadn’t realized was that Azriel left a few minutes later, walking to your apartment to make sure you had gotten home safe.
All of a sudden he heard whimpers and labored breathing coming from the alley.
Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you laying on the ground and bleeding out. He felt a tug in his chest. A click. Panic instilled in him as he gently but swiftly picked you up and flew you to Madja.
“Hang on y/n, you’re so strong” he whispered
In those moments, he feared for you. Fear that was so strong. Something he had never felt before.
He rushed into the house laying you on the bed gently before he was shoved out by the Madja so she could try to save you.
Azriel alerted the others and then collapsed into a chair, sitting in silence. A tear slipped out of his eye at the thought he may have been too late to save you.
You. His mate.
Why, of all the times did the bond have to click while you were on the brink of death. In a situation where you may not make it out alive. It wasn’t fair.
He wondered if you had known. Could that be the reason why you had been distancing yourself from him? Because you didn’t expect or want him to be your mate? But if you had known you would’ve said something, right? You wouldn’t keep it a secret? So many thoughts kept racing through his head.
Could it have been because of Elain? He knew the inner circle wasn’t stupid, they all saw him drifting more and more to Elain. Could that have been why you had distanced yourself? He would be lying if he said he didn’t like Elain, but he would also be lying if he said he didn’t like you.
Your stubbornness. Your generosity. Your sense of adventure. The way you could get lost in the things you did.
Suddenly the door swung open and the others came into the room, worry written all over their faces.
Azriel could tell that Cassian and Mor had been crying on the way there.
“How bad is it?” Mor shook as she spoke. You could see the pain in her eyes. The worry she had for someone who was basically her sister.
Azriel’s expression was unreadable and he didn’t respond.
“Do you think she will make it?” Feyre asked, grief evident in her posture. “I- I don’t know” Azriel answered, “It was pretty bad,” he said quietly.
Just as he answered, Madja appeared from the other room. “She’s in rough shape, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it through the night. She lost a lot of blood.”
The room grew eerily quiet
“She’s stable for now, but I will stay here and notify you if any changes occur.”
Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain went back to the townhouse to try and get as much rest as they could. Mor, Cassian, and Azriel decided to stay in your room with you.
Tears started slipping from Cassian’s eyes once he saw your fraile body lying in bed, barely hanging on.
“Oh mother” Mor sobbed out, a hand slipping over her mouth. She went over to the bed you were on, gently sitting on it and grabbing to hold your hand. She leaned against the headboard and watched as your chest heaved.
The trio sat in silence for some time, watching your every move, your breathes, whimpers, and shifts.
Azriel broke the silence.
“She’s my mate. All this time and I never knew.”, the sentence coming out as a whisper.
Shock was painted on Mor’s face. “Y/n’s your mate? How di-? When?”
“It clicked when I saw her body lying there.” his voice started breaking “Why did it have to happen right now. Of all the times. Why couldn’t it have happened months ago. I could’ve had more time. This never would have happened. How do I move on from this?” his voice ending on a whisper.
“All you can do is hope to mother that she has the strength to pull through.” Cassian replied softly. “You know, this whole situation is so ironic.”, he said softly to himself, lightly shaking his head.
Azriel gave Cassian a look of confusion, wondering what he was talking about, but decided to drop it for now.
“Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep and pray the morning holds better news”
Mor had dozed off, back against the headboard and hand still holding yours. Cassian was sitting in the chair, head resting on the palm of his head, it still took him a few hours to fall asleep completely. Azriel, however, couldn’t sleep. The thought of sleeping while you laid like this. He felt guilty, the feeling that he may have been too late. For the rest of the night, Azriel sat in a chair next to your bed, shrouded in darkness, hoping you would be ok.
Sunlight peeked through the sheer blinds over the balcony door. The faint sound of birds singing flowed through the air. Light shined onto your face, causing you to groan. Groggily, you opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light filling the room. Your head pounded and you winced as you shifted in bed.
“Y/n?” you heard a whisper. You mumbled in response. “Oh! Thank mother you’re alright! We were all so worried for you. Wait, let me call Madja now that you’re up.” Mor rambled on causing you to smile slightly. “CASSIAN!” she squealed “Wake up! Look! Y/n is awake!”
Cassian jumped to his feet at her shout. “Oh my god!” he ran over to your side “I was so worried, I’m so glad you’re alright” he said, taking your hand into his. “Let me go call the others, they’ve been waiting for an update.”
Soon after, the rest of the inner circle came over to your room to check in and Madja came to see how you were healing.
“That was quite the wound you had. Make sure to rest for the next two weeks. No buts, we don’t want this opening back up from stress or straining activity.”. You groaned at the thought.
“But I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal! I can go back to doing my duties in 2 days. I’ll be good as new.” you pleaded, trying to convince Madja and yourself. Before she could respond, Rhys cut in.
“You will do nothing of the sort. You just got stabbed for cauldrons sake, if i catch you trying to do anything remotely straining, i’ll lock you in your room and have Cassian stand guard in front of it”
“Fine” you grumbled out
“Now that everything is settled, i’ll be coming to check on you every few days.” Madja states before leaving
After a little more small talk was exchanged, the inner circle decided to leave you to rest a bit more, but promised they would visit you as frequently as they could.
Except, one person stayed behind.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Is something wrong?” you asked
After a hesitant pause his voice rang out. “We’re mates.”
You felt a blow to your chest. When did he find this out? As if Azriel had read your thoughts, he responded “Last night. After I found you.”
“But, Cassian said something, how it was ironic, and I can’t help but wonder how long you’ve known”
“I-, I told Cassian that we were mates yester-”
“But how long have you known y/n.” his voice quiet and sharp as a knife, as if tendrils of anger were waiting to escape
“Since the diplomatic mission Rhys sent us on”, you whispered. You could feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes
“That was months ago and you didn’t think to tell me?” You could feel the anger in his voice
“I thought you would have figured it out sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” tears started falling from your eyes
“You knew and said nothing. Why didn’t you say anything? You should have said something” he seethed. His anger was unhinged, a drastic change for the usually calm and collected shadowsinger.
“If you didn’t want to be my mate just tell me. I’d be glad to be rid of the bond.”. As soon as he said it, he regretted it. His anger dissipated. He looked up and saw your face, tears streaming down.
“I see the way you look at Elain, Azriel. I’m not some stupid fucking female. How do you think it feels to see your mate all over someone else. I wanted to give you a chance to find your own happiness without me burdening you with this. And if we’re being honest, if you had to choose between me or her, you would choose her. I knew you would be disappointed by me. I knew you wouldn’t want to be my mate, that's why I didn’t tell you.” your anger started boiling up. “Do you think it feels good to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve loved for a long time? I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I was your mate, the person you’ve waited so long for.” your voice tapered off at the end. “Can you leave please” you said softly
“No, wait, I’m sorry I-“
“Azriel. Get out.” your voice boomed through the room.
He left reluctantly, softly shutting the door behind him. Just as the door shut, the sobs that you had been desperately trying to hold back broke free. Your body shuddered as you hugged yourself, crying yourself back to sleep.
During the following weeks, you avoided Azriel at all costs. As soon as he walked into the room, you would walk out. Any required conversations were kept short. You did anything you could to keep your mind off of him, cleaning, errands, hell you did it all. It certainly didn’t help your recovery, but you did what you could to keep your mind busy and off of Azriel.
“Y/n stop please. You need to rest, how many times do we have to tell you. You’re only making the healing process longer” Mor ranted on.
“I’m fine, I doubt a wound, which is almost healed by the way, would be damaged by me doing chores” you emphasized as you rolled your eyes
“Maybe not by chores, but it is affected by your stress”
A moment of silence passed.
“He feels terrible, you know, he didn’t mean to say it. He just wants to talk to you.”. Mor didn’t risk saying his name because she knew it would only anger you more.
“Well I don’t want to talk to him, or deal with him, or see him, or think about him. At all.”. You grumbled. Your heart clenched, but you brushed it aside.
“Y/n, please. I love you two and it hurts to see our family like this right now.”
“Please, can we drop it, I-“ your voice cracked
“Yeah, of course. Just… keep an open mind, maybe?”
“Yeah, ok” you looked down.
“I’ll see you later tonight then, for Rhys and Feyre’s dinner party.”
“Sounds good.”. You pressed your lips into a tight smile as you watched Mor walk off. You had definitely contemplated not going today. All of the inner circle certainly knew what happened, maybe not all the details, but still enough, which made you feel exposed. You weren’t use to having your emotions splayed out to everyone like that, and it made you too vulnerable. However, Mor had threatened to pull you to the party herself if you refused to go, so being complicit seemed like the best option.
It was just one night. You would be fine… right?
It was nearing 8 as you finished getting ready for the party, which started at 8:30. You were wearing an olive green silk midi dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was still very elegant. And comfortable. You were touching up as Mor arrived.
“Ah, there she is, beautiful as ever.”
“I could say the same about you, darling” you emphasized
“Are you ready to go, I heard the party is getting started, and you know I wouldn’t want to miss all the cocktails”
A laugh mused on your face. You grabbed your purse before the pair of you winnowed to the house.
You arrived at the front door, scanning the scene when you got there. It was a cozy ballroom with french doors which opened up to a huge balcony leading to the gardens. There was a huge dining table in the center with plenty of space to mingle in clusters.
You hadn’t spotted Azriel yet, a sigh of relief leaving your body. You strutted in, arms linked with Mor, grabbing a drink off the platter. You weren’t even sure who or what this party was for, but you realized you had downplayed it after spotting Helion and Tarquin. The high lords in Velaris. But that was the least of your concerns, the only thing you were focused on was avoiding Azriel.
Spotting Feyre near Helion, you breezed over to say hi.
“Ah! Y/n! Helion, i’m sure the two of you have met a few times before!” Feyre smiled out
“Yes, I do remember you! I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?” He asked
“Much better than the last few weeks, that’s for sure. Although I must say, this alcohol is certainly helping” you giggled. “Well I just wanted to pop over and say hi, but I think I’m gonna go find Cassian now. It was so nice to see you again Lord Helion, enjoy your evening.”
“You too Miss Y/L/N”
You dipped your head towards the both of them before making your way through the room to find Cassian. Where was he for caldrons sake. You hadn’t seen him in a week because he had to go up to the illyrian war camps again. Pushing your way through the crowd, you bumped into a hard chest, spilling your champagne. Cursing to yourself, you started to apologize.
“Oh mother, I’m so so sorry, clums-“. Looking up your y/e/c eyes met strong hazel ones, which were burning into your soul. You felt your throat close up, starting to feel trapped in the crowed room
No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to talk to him, but you couldn’t do it now. Before he could say a word, you pushed past him and bolted out to the balcony to get some fresh air. You had run to the corner, near the steps to the garden, out of sight from others. Taking deep breaths, you calmed your nerves. You would be ok, everything was fine. It would be fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.
You decided to quickly go grab another drink before returning to the serenity outside. Leaning against the balcony, you stared out at the stars and the gardens. They were so beautiful, even in the winter, you thought to yourself. You basked in the silence, your thoughts drowning you.
Some time had passed before you heard footsteps approaching you on the balcony. You knew who it was without having to turn around, but you still couldn’t bear to be around him. You turned to leave but his hand caught your wrist, holding it firmly. You could feel the scars from his hands against your skin.
“Please. I just want to talk”
“What’s there to talk about Azriel, you made your feelings clear that day.”
“Just listen, please, and then i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you wish”
You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. You couldn’t keep balling up your emotions.
He led you back to the railing of the balcony before his grasp left your wrist. You tilted your head down looking at your feet and fiddling with your thumb.
“I spent 500 years pining after Mor because I was so afraid of maybe having a chance at love. I thought it was best to love someone who would never love me back so I wouldn’t get hurt. Then I met Elain. She helped me to open up more, and helped me to believe that happiness would be possible for me, with someone. I had given up on the idea of having a mate. I didn’t think I deserved one. I was ok with that and had accepted that.”
He let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, light curls falling onto his forehead. “When I saw you lying there and the bond clicked, I was so mad at myself. I shut out the possibility of having a mate for so long. You were my mate. My mate. I never thought I would be able to say those words.”
“I was mad that you may not make it. I was mad that I didn’t find you soon enough. I was mad that we didn’t have more time. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I Just wanted you to be ok. And then when you told me that you had known for so long, I was angry. Angry that I hadn’t realized sooner, and angry that you kept it from me because you may not have wanted me or expected me to be your mate. And I snapped. Then you said the thing that I had least expected. You said you had loved me” He chuckled dryly. “I am so sorry, y/n, so very sorry.”.
His hand reached down to cup your face. He jerked your head up so you were looking at him. “What i’m trying to say is that I love you, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore”.
The air had been knocked from your lungs. Your heart swelled and your eyes watered. Before you had realized what you were doing, your lips crashed into his. His mouth fit perfectly against yours. He was a breath of fresh air with a hint of mint. Azriel’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you into his body and he smiled against your lips. It felt so right. Everything about it. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you both pulled away, breathless. Your forehead rested against his.
You whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled you in for another kiss, his wings forming a cocoon around you. This one was more demanding. Passionate. A promise. You pulled away from his mouth and leaned against him, his arms wrapping around you.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Azriel said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box. “It’s your Solstice gift, I was trying to find a good time to give it to you.”, he scratched the back of his head.
You gently took it from his hand. The box had a red ribbon wrapped around. Undoing the ribbon, You opened the box to find one of the beautiful necklaces you had been admiring with Mor. “Oh my Az. Its so beautiful. I love it. How did you know?”
“I may have had my shadows follow everyone around to find out what they wanted.” he laughed out.
You smiled. “Will you help me put it on?”. Handing the dainty chain to Azriel, you brushed you hair aside. Baring your neck to him. His fingers ghosted the soft skin, clasping the necklace together. He tenderly placed a kiss next to your ear, causing butterflies to erupt.
You cleared your throat. “I think we’ve been gone long enough. Would you like to get some food, Azriel?” you smiled.
“I would love to, my darling mate.” he paused before darkly saying “I am especially excited for the part that comes after I eat.”. You lightly smacked his shoulder before the two of you made your way inside, beaming.
@minnie-mitzel @itsbebeyyy @preciousbabymuffins @kexrtiz @vicisbookishblog @peneflop @millianec @agentsofsheilds
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come as you are
pairing: azriel (ACoTaR) x reader
summary: in the evening before a high-profile banquet, reader feels a little out of place. azriel reassures her that he fell in love with them just as they are.
notes: oof bad summary, but this is fluffy and azriel is real romantic in this one <3 eg. the line “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.”
you shuffled your feet as you made your way to the living room, having heard azriel arrive home a few minutes ago. your gown clung to you, making you uncomfortable in all kinds of ways. it was disappointing, frankly - weeks of preparation, of confidence, and now you felt embarrassed, wearing what you were. it felt like a costume. it was silly - you had meticulously observed the court’s fashion trends, taken cue from azriel’s friends - you knew the dress was appropriate. but for some reason, you felt like an impostor in it.
there azriel was, sitting on the couch. his wings curved along the back, sharp talons gleaming. you sidled up behind him, curling an arm over his chest as you rested your chin on his head.
“my love,” he greeted, warmth in his voice as he entwined his fingers with yours. you sighed as you shifted, nudging your head against his. he looked up at you, his shadows faintly curling over his ears. perhaps your expression was particularly morose, because he squeezed your hand just a little tighter. “long day?”
“just another day,” you mumbled, shrugging. azriel’s brows rose when you rounded the couch, finally allowing him to see the gown. it was no surprise to him - he had been so patient with your fussing, asking for his input on what colours would compliment your skin and hair and eyes the best. at first he had been vague, telling you things like you’d look beautiful in anything and just wear what you like, but once he realised the whole thing actually really distressed you, azriel tried his best to be more specific, despite meaning what he’d initially said. your preoccupation had concerned him, but he dismissed it as excitement. but now, the way you behaved - sheepish, uneasy, reluctant - made him really worry.
“you’re as beautiful as ever,” he said, taking your hand and guiding you closer. resting his hands on your hips, he didn’t miss your tight smile at his words. “are you ready for tonight?”
you weren’t. not for the first time, you couldn’t help but think of how different you were to his friends in the inner circle. even the company they kept - other courts’ princes, captains of the guard… influential people. you were nowhere near as affluent or powerful. compared to them, you were so average, just another citizen in velaris. frankly, you found it ridiculous to believe that azriel had ever deigned to take interest in you in the first place. all this insecurity had been funneled into your obsessive preparation for tonight’s banquet, where you’d be in such esteemed company. you were scared that if you made a misstep, you’d embarrass not only yourself, but azriel too.
unable to meet his eyes, you said, “just my hair.”
he frowned at that, but didn’t press. “let me,” he said, taking your hand again as he led you to the bedroom. there was a long, full-length mirror there, reflecting azriel’s actions as he sat on the bed after finding your brush. he was still in his leathers, yet to change into his set of black finery.
you were taken aback that azriel had taken the duty upon himself, but didn’t comment. what you didn’t know - but what shouldn’t have been such a big surprise - was that azriel had paid attention to the styles which had caught your eye in the past. in informal gatherings with the inner circle, he’d seen the way you had looked at feyre’s intricate braids - with longing, and sometimes even with envy.
as you made to sit, azriel grabbed your elbow. “not on the floor.” you stifled a chuckle - it was rather his aversion to grime and impropriety that made him say it instead of concern for your dress.
“i’m fine here,” you insisted, smile pulling at your mouth. the gown pooled around you as you sat at his feet, facing your reflection. curling your arms around his shins, you pressed a quick kiss to his knee. he caressed your bare skin from shoulder up to neck, his scars rough but familiar. as azriel ran his hands through your hair for a few moments, some tension left your jaw - you hadn’t even realised the thought of the banquet had you gritting your teeth the whole time.
you watched him through the mirror as he started to brush your hair, wondering how he felt about tonight. he wasn’t really one for social events, but he was one to indulge those he loved. it should’ve made your heart warm, but instead you felt that tell-tale stinging of the nose and blinked back tears.
it had been an adjustment to accept - if you ever truly had accepted - the juxtaposition of your and azriel’s worlds. coming to know the affluence of the inner circle and azriel’s wealth… it had posed some challenges you two had to overcome. he didn’t boast his wealth - lived rather modestly, in fact - but the fact that money was rarely an object for any of the inner circle grated at you. every time you saw them, they seemed untouchable - the most beautiful gowns, priceless jewelry, big houses, such luxury up at the house of wind. their sheer intelligence, the level of their wit - you sometimes felt like you couldn’t keep up. it was easy to be envious, and indeed sometimes you wished you were a person of importance to the court, if only to feel more worthy of azriel.
“what’s on your mind?” he asked gently, fingers starting to work your hair into braids in a loving, lingering manner. it felt so comforting, it felt so safe.
“am i doing this right?” you blurted, and his movements stilled, but only for a moment. “we’re from such different worlds, azriel. do you ever wish i had been someone better?”
“better?” he scoffed, such an overt gesture for the usually stoic man. “i have not once wished you to be any different than you are.”
you sighed, voice tight and heavy with emotion when you spoke again. “i can’t compare to the inner circle. ever. i’m nobody, azriel. i’m not anyone of consequence. i’m not even attractive enough to just be a trophy mate. i can’t understand why you ever--”
“stop.” it was quiet, firm, solemn. you tried to place his expression, but this time you really couldn’t read him. “why do you say such things?” you ignored the hypocrisy - azriel was certainly no stranger to self depreciation. “would you really give up your current life for these things? do i not… do i not make you happy? do you want more?”
azriel rarely stumbled over his words, and the hesitancy immediately clutched at your heart. you shook your head, a harsh jerk, but azriel’s voice was stern. “keep still.”
“it’s not you!” you growled, gripping his legs tighter as you tried to avoid your reflection. heat flushed your cheeks and chest, anger and frustration colouring your skin. “i’m not—i’m not made of the same stuff as you, azriel. don’t i bore you?”
heart racing, palms sweating. the ensuing silence rang loud. you risked a glance at the mirror, but azriel was merely letting the hairstyle take shape. his non-answer was making your outburst feel childish, but then he gently nudged your chin.
the mirror reflected back exactly what you’d envisioned for yourself, and yet, you were too drained to be happy about it. “looks lovely, azriel. thank you.”
he touched your shoulder; a request. rising to straddle his lap, you swallowed hard as he gently held your face in his hands. if he were someone else, the intensity of his gaze might have been intimidating, but you knew he was merely gathering his thoughts. “you’re you, and that’s very important. i fell in love with you. fate has decided my other half is you, just as you are. peace with you is not boring, my love,” he said, a strange half-chuckle escaping him. “and comparison won’t do; it is for people like you who we work to protect. your role in velaris isn’t without impact - you’ve touched many lives, whether they were kin or not. your effect cannot be erased. it certainly cannot be undone on me.”
“azriel,” you whispered, unsure of what else to say. his shadows had started to snake around you, intangible things trying their best to give comfort.
“is this why you’re anxious about tonight? because you feel the need to prove yourself?” you looked away, and while his thumb caressed your cheek, he didn’t try to force your gaze. “sweetheart,” he sighed, “my love for you is unconditional.”
and finally the tears rolled. you whimpered as you clutched at his back, pressing close to hide your face against his neck. azriel rarely spoke so much - it was usually nonverbal with him. to hear these things uttered so genuinely, so adoringly - it overwhelmed your heart.
“i love you so much, azriel. so very much.”
he held you tight, pressing a kiss to your temple. “don’t undo all my hard work, mind you,” he murmured wryly, making you laugh as you reflexively touched a braid. “stop it,” he insisted, nose rubbing against yours as he grabbed your careless hand, and then you were really laughing, because now azriel was grinning too and his fingers were entwining with yours and you were almost feeling like yourself again. he pulled back, so very beautiful with that rare full smile. it slowly faded, however, but the mirth in his face remained. “my lovely mate,” he mused, so low that it was more akin to an uttered thought rather than spoken with intent.
when the time came, you enjoyed the banquet: compliments and catch-ups and champagne, politics and wit and inter-court visitors. later that night - or early the next morning - when it was just you and azriel again, laying in bed in the darkness, he admitted that the glamour of the inner circle even got to him at times. it was no surprise, considering how formal azriel was. yes, there was hierarchy; yes, there were power imbalances, but what really bound them together was love, not status. he had arm and wing thrown over you, lulling you to sleep with affirmations and reassurances, telling you just once more how important, how worthy, how extraordinary you and your so-called mundane life were, and to never let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Two sides (1)
Pair: Azriel (ACOTAR) x reader, Unrequited Cassian x reader
Word count: 3.5k
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Warnings: Language, Mentions of sex
A/N: Admittedly Its been a while since I've read ACOTAR but my obsession with Azriel has never faded so enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Gifs are not mine
Masterlist - part 2
Solstice was normally your favorite time of the year. The celebration, gift-giving, the feeling of home. Tonight was no different, except for the fact that the man you were in love with for centuries seemed to be all about Nesta, the oldest Archeron sister. It hurt seeing him with someone else, they weren't together, not yet. What with Nesta's hatred for Fae and overall annoyance for Cassian but that didn't change the fact that he had a deep interest in her and not you. Not in the way you wanted him to be at least.
It was the end of the night and everyone had gathered around to exchange presents. You had given Mor a dress you saw her eyeing while shopping together, and she gave you a thin piece of cloth that she dared call a nightgown. You blushed and told her you didn't think you would ever wear it but thanks. You and Amren exchanged jewlery, agreeing prior to this evening that you both wanted a piece of jewelry from each others collection. Rhys and Feyre had given you a tapestry of your family who had died when you were young. Rhysand had met them before their passing. He told you that he described them to Feyre and she painted them as best she could-- he gave you that too-- and they went to a lady who makes tapestries and had it made for you. You teared up and rushed to give them a hug. "Wow, guys." You sniffled. "You're making me feel bad that my gift isn't half as sentimental."
"Your presence is gift enough Y/N, with everything going on, " Feyre said. They weren't wrong, with the upcoming war, the missions the group was sent on are dangerous and lucky to be alive to see this day.
"I say give me the gift, I have to be in her presence every day." You shot Cassian a half-hearted glare with an improper hand gesture. Then chucked the sheathed dagger that you got on the table next to him. "Ooh pretty!" He exclaimed, immediately grabbing it like a child and inspecting the details. Azriel rolled his eyes at his brother's childishness but had a small smile playing on his lips. "Here." Cassian threw a small box towards you. You caught it instantly, opening it to see a necklace with the special nickname he gave you. Your heart fluttered. "Thanks, dingbat." You responded. "Az, I'm sorry your present was supposed to be ready by now."
He gave you a quiet. "Don't worry about it." as he handed you a silver bow, your favorite weapon of choice. The string on your old one had worn out. You got up and gave him a short hug.
Finally, you gave your high lord and lady a box with a note that said 'Open in private, have fun you two ;)' You gave Feyre lingerie that was Rhysands favorite color, along with a tonic Feyre wanted since she said she didn't wanna have kids while the war was still going on.
After the exchange, you used that as an excuse to get drunk at Rita's with Mor and Amren. Feyre and Rhysand already retired for the night. Especially since you noticed a certain long-haired Illyrian spending majority of his night teasing and arguing with Nesta. And Elain was in the garden enjoying the night with Azriel who was keeping her company.
Unfortunately for you, Cassian had insisted he and Nesta come along. 'We never go out together anymore' he said. You thought there was no point if all he was gonna do was stay glued to Nesta all night.
"5 shots." You ordered when you got to the bar, for you and the rest of your friends and downed yours right when it was put in front of you. You dragged Mor and Amren to the dance floor. Swaying your hips to whatever song was playing. Then going to the bar and drinking all the money you had in your wallet, away. It went like this majority of the night. Eventually, you got a sick feeling in your stomach, which only got worse when you saw Cassian in a deep conversation with Nesta. For once Cassian didn't seem like his usual playful self that would tease her and for once they weren't arguing. You felt the pit in your stomach go up to your heart and to your throat. Rushing out the doors of rita's, you made it outside and let out the bile into the river until there was nothing left but the feeling of your heart sinking, you could almost hear the sound of your heartbreaking.
You looked up from where you were sitting, leaning against the railings. The heard doors open, you lifted your head and saw a man with wings coming out. You prayed that it wasn't Cassian. "I don't think the locals would like that very much." You recognized the voice of the shadowsinger.
"The locals can go-" You gagged, nausea coming back up your throat. You got on your knees, one hand on the railing, waiting for your throw up to either come out or go away. You preferred the latter. "Fuck this." You breathed inhaled, clutching the railing trying to get up. You started to stumble through the streets heading to the house.
Azriel to put an around your middle and lifted your arm around his shoulder to help you walk. He turned you around. You were going the wrong way. "Fuck this, Fuck him, Fuck everything." All of sudden getting emotional, tears spilling out but at this point you couldn't care less.
"Who?" Azriel questioned.
"Who else?" You suspected everyone knew. Feyre, Amren. Mor did too, she even apologized for sleeping with him when she noticed your feelings. She didn't know before besides, it was the only way she was freed from her family so you couldn't blame her. You were in love with him since he held you after they clipped your wings, He defended you and made it his mission to scare off anybody who hurt you or seemed like a threat to you, knowing that you could take care of yourself. But you then started to realized Azriel would do the same, as well as Rhys. Over time you realized he would never love you the way you loved him. He loved you as Rhysand did. Like a little sister. Rhysand noticed your feelings for his brother after a while, he asked you when or if you would ever say anything to Cassian. And you told him that you'd take it to the grave, even if Cassian did notice and just didn't say so, you would never admit it to him.
You didn't doubt that he knew though. That made it worse, you thought. It didn't matter now. Too many thoughts about him were filling your head. A headache you knew would come was already starting to form.
It took him a second to realize. "He's an idiot."
"How do you do it Az?" You stumbled despite being half-carried by the silent Illyrian man. He stopped walking and lifted your legs, deciding to carry you instead. He winnowed you both into your room in the townhouse. Once you were there he put you down carefully and looked at you saying "I don't know."
You sighed, feeling sober enough to want to change clothes, you were too lazy to walk all the way to your closet so you just grabbed the nightgown that Mor gave you earlier and stripped. Azriel turned his back so he wouldn't see you as you changed. You then walked to your bathroom, brushed your teeth and took off your makeup as best as you could.
"I'm decent." You said. He turned around. "Will you be alright on your own?" He asked just to be sure. He knows you can be unpredictable while drunk and can possibly put yourself in dangerous situations. Had he not gone outside, who knows what would've happened to you.
"I'm in my room, at home, I think I'll be fine." His face stayed the same but you could tell he was still unsure. He made his way to leave your room either way, "Azriel?" He turned to look at you.
You both stared at each other silently. You didn't know whether it was because you're drunk and emotional but when you looked at him; He was beautiful. A voice in your head urged you to move closer so you did and stopped right it front of him. You took his scarred hand in yours intertwining them-- something he would only let you do despite his shame-- you looked up at him, your eyes locked on each others. Then you thought 'fuck it'.
You stepped on your toes, putting your other hand to his cheek, pulling him down and turning your head slightly to the right. Your breath hitched as you slowly moved closer. Your eyes flitted between his eyes and his lips. "Kiss me." You said, anxious for him. "I shouldn't, you're not thinking straight."He whispered.
"I am and even if I wasn't, I don't care." you replied "Please."
He gave up his restraint, leaned in and your lips met. His hands moved your waist as you put your hands on either side of his face to bring him closer. The kiss was rough and passionate as if this was long-awaited. His lips felt soft on yours, you pushed him towards your bed and kicked your door shut. You guided him towards your bed, he let you push him onto your bed and you straddled his waist. You sat on directly on his area, grinding on him, your kiss began to get more intense almost needy.
You rushed to take off your nightgown, Azriel put his hands on yours to stop you. "Are you sure?" He asked. He reached to stroke your cheek, you leaned into his touch and nodded. "Yes." He flipped you, so that he was on top of you and his lips brushed against yours softly, he was being more gentle than he was before. Your heart sped up, you could feel it beating out of your chest and you were sure he could hear it. His kiss trailed from your lips, to your cheek, you tilted your head so he can get more access to your neck. He spent his time nipping and sucking, He let his hand wander down to touch your covered core, you let out a shuddered breath. You couldn't remember the last time you were touched.
You woke up the next morning with your bedsheets covering you and Azriel gone. You hadn't expected him to stay. It would've been too awkward, You didn't know what you would've said or even if to say anything at all. Your relationship with Azriel was simple, you spent most of your time together sitting in silence or talking about your day, giving each other advice if needed. You got up and remembered the events from the night before, you didn't know what to think. What if your whole dynamic got thrown off based off one night? At least you knew the wingspan theory was true. You let out a small giggle and smiled to yourself as you got ready for the day.
Your smile soon faded as you went down the stairs and noticed how serious everyone's faces were. Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Cassian, Amren and Azriel was there. There were no signs of the oldest or youngest Archeron sisters. Maps and books scattered everywhere.
"Do we have to do this so early?" You let out an exasperated sigh and plopped down on the couch next to Amren.
"It's almost 1 N/N." Cassian responded. You noticed he had the dagger you bought for him strapped to his side. Your heart skipped a beat. You avoided his gaze and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest.
" Who ate your neck?" Mor almost yelled. You thought Mor was talking about Feyre or Amren, when you noticed everyone looking at you and you almost had a heart attack. You rushed to the nearest mirror and cursed Azriel in your mind.
"Somebody got busy last night." Cassian smirked. You rolled your eyes, "Don't we have bigger things to worry about." You glanced at Azriel and he kept his head down looking severely interested at the pages in the book he held.
The meeting continued. Azriel came back with information about Devlon taking out his anger on females who are just trying to be trained, wearing them out. This infuriated you, knowing first hand how rough things can get and you volunteered to go.
"You're not going by yourself Y/N." Rhysand stated. "You know they won't take you seriously."
"Yeah because I was playing nice, " you pulled out a dagger you had strapped to you thigh. "This time I won't be."
Rhysand gave you a look. You sighed "I don't need a babysitter."
"I know you don't but they do, things can get ugly real quick." You knew he was right, that didn't mean you had to like it. "Cassian will go with you."
'Of course' You thought, internally dreading the conversation you both would have about what happened last night. You would have to come up with something fast. "Fine."
Everyone had their own duties to attend to, you headed straight to your room accidently slamming your door when you closed it behind you. You winced, thinking how it might've sounded like you were a teenager who just got yelled at. A knock on your door kept you from packing your clothes. Mor came in looking worried. "You okay?"
"Yeah why wouldn't I be." Your shrugged.
"You looked pretty upset about going back-" You started to interrupt to reassure her you were fine going back to windhaven but stopped when she finished her sentence, "With Cassian."
"Did something happened between you two? Is he the one who gave you that hickey? Is that why you're acting weird." She bombarded you with questions. You needed to come up with an excuse for that last question knowing she could tell if you lied, she always did.
"One-- Nothing happened, he's just annoying, two-- no and it's not a hickey, last night I opened one of my cabinets and something fell out-"
"Like what, a leech." She laughed at her own joke and you tried to join in, begging you wouldn't ask for more information.
"You know it's not wrong if you wanna have a little fun sometimes Y/N" She came up to you and touched your arm. "You deserve to be happy." She started to help you pack.
"You don't have to help, you can go do whatever you were about to do."
Mor glared at you playfully, "If I didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to kick me out." She looked under your bed and laughed. "Are you hiding your secret lover in here?"
You chuckled at Mor trying to make you feel more comfortable. "No, but now I know where not to hide him next time you come looking."
"Oh so its a him." She smirked. You face palmed yourself internally, she'll never stop bugging you now. "Cass thinks you're mad at him by the way."
Your brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not though."
"You might wanna tell him that before he sulks the entire way there." She said finally and helped you finish packing.
Cassian did in fact sulk the entire way to wind haven, even after you reassured him that nothing was wrong and things were still okay between the two of you. After multiple times of reassurance, he then began to ask questions about the mystery person you were with last night that had marked you up. 'If only he knew' you thought to yourself. Would he care? You doubted it. He would probably applaud Azriel that he finally go over Mor, although that definitely was not the case. If anything last night was a distraction and not just for you, it was probably a distraction for too. Maybe that's why he didn't care whatever lines were crossed. He wasn't drunk enough or drunk at all to not assess the situation before it happened.
You and Cassian went your separate ways, promising to go to him if you needed anything or were in trouble. You told him you could handle yourself but promised anyways, you went to go find Devlon.
There he was, the bastard. As if sensing your gaze he turned smirking as he saw you stalking toward him. You tried to keep your composure knowing he wouldn't do you any favors if you didn't play his little game. "Ah look who we have here, come to scrub my floors again?"You gritted your teeth as Devlon taunted you, reminding of when he took you in after your parents had died.
'Yeah with your face' you thought. You had become his maid until you befriended Rhysand, and the others, who fought to free you from Devlons "care"; Rhysands mother gave you a place in her home. You shuddered at the thought of your past, rem'being why you were here in the first place.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about has been going on around camp." You crossed your arms to keep from reaching for your dagger and throwing it at his head. "There were reports from certain people who were concerned for the females training."
"And who may I ask is making the reports?"
"That's none of your concern, your job is to ensure the females are having proper training-" He interrupted you. "And they will, after they've finished with their chores."
You dug your nails into your hands, "Yes, that was the agreement however more than half of the women who were supposed to be training are now being held up by their chores that for some reason have now piled up and are exhausted by the end of day."
"How is it my problem that they can't keep up? If they can't handle it they should stay where they belong." Your hand slide down to where your dagger was sheathed, the side of your thigh. You were about to split his face open. That was until a hand touched your shoulder, you looked to your right to see Cassian.
"Is there a problem here, Lord Devlon?"
"No I don't believe there is, Commander." An amused tone in his voice had your blood boiling. "Good." Cassian nodded to the camp war-lord.
"Don't let him get under your skin," Cassian whispered in your ear as he pulled you away. You fought the urge to flip Devlon off while you walked away. "Never." You replied.
The rest of the day you spent helping train the girls with Cassian, just like old times.
"Az, you scared the shit out of me!" you clutched your chest. The spymaster had landed right behind you.
"Sorry." He smiled, you thought he should do that more often.
"Warn a girl next time, will you?" You glanced at him, It had been a couple days since you've been sent here and got everything back in order. You hadn't expected anybody else to come by. Not that you weren't glad to see your friend, you just didn't know where you both stood. "What are you doing here anyway? Weren't you supposed to be somewhere else."
"Yes but I thought I'd come check on you." He poked your side.
"Aw how sweet but I'm busy and you'll only get it my way." You patted his shoulder and walked off to get a better view of the warriors training, making sure their sparring didn't turn into actual fighting. You put two girls that weren't so fond of each other to spar and relieve some tension.
"Actually Rhys wanted me to come and check how things are going." He followed you and looked around the camp. "By the looks of it everything seems fine."
"Wow and here I thought I was special." You pouted. He stared at you an unreadable expression on his face.
"Special to who." Cassian came up from behind you and wrapped an arm around you. Azriel tensed up but neither you or Cassian had noticed.
"No one, but hey now that you're here you can watch them while I take a break.” You dragged Azriel somewhere that wasn't surrounded by people.
"C'mon let's go to the cabin, I'm starving and I don't want Devlon and the other Illyrian assholes to judge me."
"I thought you didn't care about them judging you." Azriel replied. You gave him a look, "I don't but I'm too tired to deal with them." That was the last thing you said before he winnowed you both into the cabin.
As you arrived you sat down on the couch your nerves getting to you. Azriels shadows surrounded him. They exposed his nervousness.
"We should talk."
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azriel x reader (acotar)
warnings: periods, angst (?), fluff
word count: 1253
summary/request: may i request an azriel x reader where she’s on her period but she’s fae so it’s obviously much harder to cope with? azriel doesn’t know she’s on it and she accidentally snaps at him and he leaves, hurt and wondering what he did, and the reader feels guilty? But they make up at the end? thank you! From anon
a/n: hi, thank you so much for requesting, i loved this one so much! i hope you enjoy it too <333
Azriel sat at the dinner table with the other members of the Inner Circle, picking at his food, clearly troubled. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he missed the concerned glances thrown his way by his family, confused at his uncharacteristic distraction and at your lack of presence at the meal.
Meanwhile, the Illyrian was racking his brain for any potential things he could have done or said that would have led to your outburst earlier that morning.
He had awoken before you, as he did most mornings, and had left you to rest with a delicate kiss on your head whilst he went and prepared some breakfast for you. You were already awake when he returned and at the sight of him and the tray filled with food balanced in his scarred hands, you had burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking yourself inside. He had panicked, gently setting the tray on the bed, before making his way to the locked door, attempting to speak softly to you through it. Most of your response was incoherent through your sniffles and sobs, but he had understood you asking him for some space. He had obliged immediately, not wanting his presence to make you even more distressed, and had gone outside to train alone.
He had stayed there for the majority of the day, not trusting himself to be back at the house and not disturb you. Since returning when Feyre called him down for dinner, he had not seen you once and was even more troubled by your absence from the meal. His mind was whirring, instantly fearing the worst case scenarios.
What if he had said something to upset you? What if he had unknowingly hurt you during your activities the night prior? What if you had awoken and finally realised what he had feared you would since the minute the two of you discovered you were mates: that he was worthless, just a bastard born Illyrian, with horrid scars from his past and who murdered and tortured people for a living? That he was someone so utterly undeserving of your love?
“Az?” He was broken from his thought spiral by Feyre’s concerned voice calling for him, tilting his head up to look at her in surprise. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Apologies, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” he responded, giving her a barely there, sheepish smile in the hopes of reassuring her.
“Is Y/N feeling better? Poor girl, of course she isn’t. She must be feeling horrible.” Mor chimed in, pouting sympathetically.
Azriel’s attention snapped to the blonde, eyebrows furrowing as he sat up straighter.
“What do you mean?” he asked, glancing between Mor and Feyre as they shared a look. “Why would she be feeling horrible? Is she alright?”
“She’s on her period, Az. Cauldron, brother, even I knew that.” Cassian chuckled, shaking his head at Azriel’s obliviousness as he took another sip of his drink.
Realisation dawned on Azriel, your emotional outburst making complete sense to him now. He cursed himself for not recognising the signs sooner and for having left you alone all day with nothing but your pain and uncomfort. He stood abruptly from his chair, thanking Feyre briefly for the dinner, before rushing to the stairs and making his way to your shared room.
Upon opening the door, his heart broke at the sight of you curled up in a ball, head buried into the pillows as your hand pressed hopelessly against your stomach. Shame settled in on him for being so oblivious and not being there for you in your time of need.
Your eyes reluctantly flutter open at the sound of the door opening and shutting, widening when they land on him. You slowly unfurl yourself, groaning slightly as you move to sit up, not taking your eyes off of your mate for a second.
“I know you said you wanted space…” Azriel starts, avoiding your gaze as he glances nervously around the room. “So, if you’d like me to leave, then please just-“
“No..” you whisper, cutting him off, the slight pleading in your voice gaining his attention. “I’m so sorry, Azriel. I never should have said that to you or reacted the way I did. You did nothing but be your usual, considerate self but you know how I get.” you continue, voice wavering as you begin to tear up, guilt overcoming you at the vulnerability evident on the shadowsinger’s face. “Oh, Az, I’m so sorry.”
He reacts before he even realises what he is doing, heart aching at the sadness and fear radiating from you down the bond, feeling only the urge to comfort you. He quickly settles himself on the bed beside you before gently grasping you by the waist and pulling you into his lap. You instantly wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as one of his hands comes up to hold your quivering head in place, the other running soothingly up and down your back.
“It’s okay, my love. I’m here now, I’m here. You have nothing to apologise for.” he promises, pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “I should’ve known what this week was, it’s my fault.”
You shake your head, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye.
“No, don’t say that. I snapped at you and I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault, not yours.” you murmur, Azriel’s eyebrows furrowing in concern as he moves his hands up to cup your face.
“Let’s just agree that it’s nobody’s fault, alright? Nobody but that period of yours.” he smiles fondly at you, eyes brightening when he notes your visible relaxation at his light tone.
“I hate being a woman.” you pout, earning a chuckle from your mate, resulting in a small smile of your own which quickly drops as a wave of pain hits you.
Azriel frowns as your face contorts into an expression of pure discomfort, a small pulse of pain echoing down the bond. He coos softly at you, moving one large hand down to rest over your back, an area he knows to be the cause of some of your worst cramps. You sigh softly as the warmth from his palm seeps into your skin, relieving the ache momentarily as you slump against him.
He smiles, pride sparking within him at his ability to ease your suffering with the maimed hands which he believed would only ever be the cause of people’s suffering. He tilts his head ever so slightly, pressing a delicate kiss to each of your cheeks, followed by one on your nose and then, finally, one on your lips.
You sigh contently against him, his smile widening before he nudges your head back against his shoulder, reaching down to the foot of the bed for the blanket resting there. He brings it up over the two of you, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
He now lay back against the headrest, with you settled comfortably in his lap, legs curled up on either side of him. He rubs soothing circles into the small of your back, his free hand coming up to run through your hair.
“Sleep now, darling. I’ll be here when you awake.” he says, resting his head on top of your own as you relax further into his embrace.
“You promise?” you mumble against his skin, eyelids already heavy as his hands lull you to sleep.
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Can you do a post-mating bond with Azriel ?
-: ✧ :-゜・．azriel x reader
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ post-mating bond
Azriel tucks his wings behind him, looking at you with an odd gleam in his eyes. You throw on your clothes, body still sore and satiated from the previous four nights. Again and again, Azriel took you with his mouth, fingers, and his cock. You lost track of the number of times you came.
“Get dressed,” You told him, a beaming grin on your lips. Azriel did as you bid. His movements were sharp, not quite used to the fire brandishing his skin, the rubbing on his soul. “Where are we going?” He asked. You shrugged, “For a walk. We need to get out of the house,”
You handed Azriel paper, a quill, with a small pot of ink. Hold them, you requested. Outside, the autumn chill was heavy in the air, the leaves a marvelous red, brown, and orange as they prepared to fall and rot under the snow. You slipped your hand into his free one, leading him into the forest. Azriel only followed, his shadows trailing you like a second silhouette. You never seemed to mind it, treating them as some sort of pet. Though, his shadows weren’t quite fond of that.
You slipped your hand into his own, “I’m planning a surprise. It’s what I was doing this morning whilst you were in the shower,” Azriel blinked. His shadows had been calm, resting peacefully. He hadn’t known you left. You waved him off upon seeing the flicker in his eyes, “There’s nothing to worry about. No one is in the mountains beside us,”
After a moment, Azriel relaxed. He knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. He knew it. It did nothing to help the bond screaming to protect. He wondered if the feeling would ever dull. From what he’s seen with Cassian and Rhys, he didn’t think so.
The clearing in the woods had a little stack of wood, positioned for a fire. You gave him a glance when you lit it, moving back to stand beside him. “Growing up, my siblings and I would have this tradition. For what we wanted our future. When I was a little girl, I said I wanted a mate. My brothers laughed at me. It was a foolish notion, wasn’t it? To assume that someone like me — someone who means nothing,” You cut him off when he tried to protest. You weren’t nothing. Not to him. “Would find their mate. If I even had one. We write it on a piece of paper and burn it. We then bury the ashes,”
Azriel’s lips quirked slightly. “Do you believe it?” Your face heated. Still, you said, “I found you, didn’t I?” You sat on the forest floor, the leaves crunching beneath you. The fire warmed your skin, driving away the cold. He sat across you, watching as you ripped the paper into thin strips. You handed him several, asking, “What do you want our future to look like?”
Azriel paused. He hadn’t thought about it. He had a general idea, he supposed. One that involved you and him spending countless nights and mornings in bed together. You caught his hesitation, waving it off, “I’ll start. I want a cat named Evanora,” You gave him a pointed look as you scribbled it down. “Perhaps for my birthday or Winter Solstice,” You muttered. You grabbed another one, “I want a house on the riverside. I want to spend the rest of my life happy with you. I want to spend the morning of every holiday in your arms,”
After each one, you placed it into the fire, watching as the paper crinkled and faded away. Azriel was writing silently. You peered over curiously, catching, I want to win the snowball fight. You rolled your eyes, breath catching the next one, I want to have a family. I want to make Y/n happy.
Azriel threw it in, eyes waiting until they were nothing more than a spec to look at you. “I love you,” He says. “I love you, too,”
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can we have the reader telling Az that she is pregnant and his cute reaction?🥺 i just feel that he will be afraid to not be a good father like his was,but his mate thinks the otherwise
azriel x reader
you finally decide to tell azriel you’re pregnant and he takes it...quite well actually.
You knew as a pregnant, mated fae in Prythian that you would have to tell Azriel the news before he found out himself. Your scent would soon change, a tell that he would most definitely pick up on—and fast. So, today was the day you would tell your mate that you were carrying his child.
You had no doubts that Azriel would make a wonderful father. His cool, intimidating demeanor went away the second he was alone with you and the inner circle, so why would it be any different for your child? You had guessed that he would go impossibly softer with a baby—especially one created by the both of you.
Azriel would arrive to your apartment any minute now—he had to attend a meeting with Cassian and Rhysand about the Illyrian camps—and you paced around the living room, anxious to tell him.
You weren’t scared to tell him, he loved you through everything. You just...didn’t know how to tell him.
The door to your apartment flung open and Azriel stepped through, grinning at the sight of you still in his pants and shirt.
“I hope I didn’t wake you when I left earlier, y/n.” he said, shucking off his boots. “You looked so peaceful I never wanted to leave.”
You smiled back at him, deciding to wait a little longer to tell. Azriel stepped right in front of you as you said, “You didn’t, but I wish you hadn’t left, it was so cold this morning.”
He threw you a wolfish grin. “Perhaps,” he mumbled, tugging your waist to his, “I could make up for leaving you, my beautiful mate, cold and alone this morning?”
“That sounds tempting, Azriel,” you sighed. He pressed a gentle trail of kisses down from behind your ear. “but later. I have something to tell you.” He gave you a perplexed look, and you giggled, throwing your arms around his neck. “It’s nothing bad, good actually. I hope.”
“You hope?” Azriel looked even more confused now as you pulled him towards the sofa. “What do you mean?”
“Well...I’m sort of...just a little...pregnant.” your voice dropped to a whisper by the last couple words, and you tensed as you waited for a response.
“Pregnant?” Azriel whispered back. His face had gone so...pure. Like there was nothing else in the world but you. “You’re pregnant?”
You nodded, willing down the tears as much as you could. “Yes, Azriel. I’m pregnant. With our child.”
“Our child...” He muttered to himself. He looked around, muttering things about your child and you being pregnant. “You’re pregnant with our child.”
“I’m pregnant with our child.”
You thought he might’ve zoned out for a minute, but then his hands were on your cheeks and he kissed you. It lasted not too long before he pulled away, but it still left you breathless.
“With our child!” Azriel had tears streaking down his cheeks, your own starting to come down at the sight. He jumped up, pulling you with him. “Do you think they will have wings?”
“They will. Like yours.”
“But they won’t be full Illyrian, correct?”
“Correct. More like Rhysand.”
“We’re in trouble.”
You snorted, pulling him down towards you to kiss him once more, “I don’t think Rhys was here making a child with us, if anything his wings with just disappear and reappear at times.”
Azriel nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Do you think we’ll make good parents?”
“Good.” he dropped his forehead to yours. “Me too.”
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Two sides (2)
Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Language, implied smut
Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.
Masterlist - Part 1
A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3
"We need to talk."
"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.
"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."
"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.
"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."
He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.
"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."
His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."
"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."
"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.
You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."
He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.
"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.
"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.
The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.
He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.
And you wished it never ended.
"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.
"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.
"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.
"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."
Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."
He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.
You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.
Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.
Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.
Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.
Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.
As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.
You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.
The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.
'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.
"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.
"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."
Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.
To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.
Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.
He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?
Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."
"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.
"We're going on a trip!"
"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.
"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.
"How do you mean?"
"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.
"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."
"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.
"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.
This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.
"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.
You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?
You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.
Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.
"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."
"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.
"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."
"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."
"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.
"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."
She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."
You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."
"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.
"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.
"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."
"Thanks for the talk, Mor."
"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.
Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.
He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.
Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.
That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.
"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.
"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.
"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"
You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.
"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.
"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.
"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.
"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.
"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."
He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.
It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"
Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.
You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.
Tags: @wildchild2707 ,@theworthlessqueen ,@ciciakai ,@rockinginneverland
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The Fear of a Lover - Azriel x Female!reader
Type - Imagine
Character(s) - Azriel
Warning(s)- Angst, Panic Attack.
Note - Request are open. Feel free to send something in :)
Description - After a fight with your mate you head to separate rooms for the night. Only you have a nightmare and he can feel it down the bond.
Masterlist Request Rules
You and Azriel didn’t fight very often, so it was no surprise that after a good hour of screaming at each other for one reason or another that you both made the awful mistake of going to bed upset with each other.
Mother nature decided that she was equally upset with the pair of you and decided to release a violent storm of thunder and lightning. The roaring claps of thunder were loud enough that the walls had begun to shake. The once rhythmic and soothing sound of rain, now a spray of bullets against the windows threatening to break in.
Now thunderstorms normally weren’t scary, but after a wicked nightmare, each boom of thunder resonated through your bones. The swaying of trees became the dancing of monsters, the curtains in the corner of the room became the distorted frames of foreign beings and the pile of discarded sheets became the mangled body of your mate.
The sight of his body made an image straight out of the nightmare. The figure from the dream began to infiltrate the room. Their bodies are wrongly proportioned, too long, too thin. The same killer from the dream, now surrounding you. The cries of your mate fill your head.
Nightmares were not a common occurrence, normally just sleeping beside Azriel warded them off. But now you are completely vulnerable to the cruel hands of your imagination. Distorted shapes and figures danced around you to the rhythm of the lightning strikes closing in with every brief flash of light. Stray hairs and small drafts became the breaths and ghosting touches of the monsters in the shadows. You started to choke on your breath.
It was if someone had sucked the oxygen from the room, leaving you in a vacuum of fear. All alone. Not alone. Your chest was tightening. You're suffocating. You’re in danger. Not alone. Not alone. You should be alone. Touching. Grabbing. Pulling. Someone is here. Someone is touching you.
Arms are snaking around your shoulders. You can barely breath. You can't breathe. There is a voice. Distorted and broken. There’s yelling. There pushing you down. You’re going to die. They're going to hurt you. You thrash in their hold. You can’t move. This is it. This is it. Help. Crying out for help. Gasping for air.
There is more movement on your left. Another figure moving swiftly. Another one. Your struggling increases. Warm hands meet your shoulder. They’re soft, a loving touch. No you didn’t want to die like this. You push harder. Your feels like it might just explode, and breathing through your nose is no longer possible. Vision even more distorted by the oncoming rivers of tears. You didn’t know you were crying.
You hear talking. Nothing makes sense. You cry harder. There is a pulse down the mate bond. You revel in the feeling of comfort given to you. The voice becomes less distorted. They’re calling you name. It is such a soft voice. You let your head lull and you look up to meet the face of your capture. Funny, they have the same eyes as your mate.
Someone pets your hair. You can breathe. Just a little. You’re choking, on air, saliva and tears. More soft touches. your head is no longer below water. You have broken the surface, the lights are on now. A soft glows encompasses the room, the monsters vanishing with the light. The hands around you cradling your quivering body are warm and comforting. You want to sleep now, you’re exhausted.
“You’re okay. Take a deep breath, you’re okay.” The voice is oddly familiar and you can't help but follow what it says. Taking a deep shuddering breath and coughing it back out. You’re chest aches but you follow when it says to take another one. Once again, twice , thrice, and the heaviness in your head begins to fade.
Your hands have wrapped around the forearms encasing you in a meager attempt to ground yourself. Your head is resting on a chest. The person holding you is sitting causing you to have to crane you head into a weird position to confirm their identity. You had a feeling it was your mate. His concerned gaze meets you spaced out on. Managing to focus for one second you send him a smile.
His shoulder relaxed and he pulls the pair of you into a lying position. Shifting you half way so that you’re tucked into his side. You lie on his chest now and his wings form a wall between you two and the confusion of the outer world. Your breaths are still jagged and you still cough a bit but you have mostly calmed down. You look up to your mate.
“Thank you.” The words are followed by a harsh set of coughs and he rubs you back until you stop and more. Patterns are tranced into the skin of your back in small shapes. It's soothing and you feel the steadying of your heart with every minute that it goes on.
“I felt you fear through the bond. I though-” he clears his throat, obviously disturbed by finding you in the state he did. “I thought you were hurt. I thought something had happened.” You relax, head onto his chest and inhale the scent of him. Relaxing further into him, yawning.
“I didn’t think you would come. How we left things and all.” His grip on you tightens and his eyebrows scrunched together. There is some other type of concern in his gaze this time. Did you doubt him?
“Why wouldn’t I come to your aid? You’re my mate and I love, we could not see each other for centuries and that still wouldn’t change.” His voice is low and the soothing rhythm of his hand falter for a moment. Taking the chance you entwine your finger with his. Pulling him closer to you, not that it was possible.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” He whispers a small “I love you.” and you murmur one back. Sleep had already begun to tug you back under. The comforting touch of your mate protecting you from the nightmare, most of which you had forgotten. Lips are pressed to your forehead just as you really began to go back under. The words are so quiet that you almost miss them through the haze of sleep, but you hear enough.
“I’ll always be here for you.” You smile in your sleep. Warm covers are wrapped around your bodies and you fall to the hands of sleep. The pair of you would sleep in the next morning causing Rhys and Cassian to come searching for you. They would find you in the same mess of sheets clinging desperately to each other.
You both could use a break to just spend time with each other. So they left the pair of you to sleep however long you needed to. It was about high noon when the pair of you stumbled into the kitchen the next morning. Both with unbelievable bed head due to your “making up” that occurred when the pair of you decided to wake up. The inner circle would tease you for months. It was worth it.
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Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Drinking, Suggestive, and Mild Cursing.
YOU COULD FEEL his gaze on you as you danced. The inner-circle was, for the first time in eighty years, whole again and you had gone out to celebrate at Rita's. The alcohol in your veins was your undoing, and you knew if you were sober you would never be caught dead grinding against an equally drunk Mor. It was funny really, you could normally hold your liquor, but something about the eyes burning into the back of your neck made you quick to down the amber contents of your, and Rhys' glasses.
Swaying, you giggled as you felt a hand come to rest upon your shoulder pulling you away from the blonde female. An unfamiliar male stood there, and though he wasn't all that handsome, you allowed him to place his hands on your hips. You weren't stupid, you knew what he wanted -- and you honestly weren't opposed -- as the person you really wanted to be with, both physically and emotionally had been unavailable for the past five centuries.
Even as you danced, felt the male's hands start to drift, you couldn't help the instinctual desire your eyes felt to drift over to the one person you could never have.
Azriel was the most beautiful male you had ever laid your eyes on, you had thought so ever since you'd joined Rhysand’s court, but even back then it was painfully obvious he would never give you the time of day. At first, it had was only physical attraction, an obvious sexual tension that you could ignore because you saw how he looked at her, your best friend. However, as the years passed, and decades concluded, your feelings didn't fade as you thought they would, oh no, they evolved. It started when you found Azriel on the roof of the house of wind one summer night. He had been staring at his hands, in a trance that only broke when you delicately set a hand on his shoulder.
He didn't say anything to you, simply sat there until the sun rose before slipping away. You didn't know why, but you began joining him there every night afterward, simply sitting at his side, and that became routine. You never spoke, but there wasn't really a need to, as the silence between you never felt heavy. After some years, he made an offhand comment to Cassian about how you were his best friend, and while you knew it was only a jab meant to wound Cassian's ego, your heart swelled and deflated at the same time.
That was when you knew you were screwed. You knew that the only way to move on would be to tell him, and you desperately wanted to -- especially after Mor confessed to you why she could never love Azriel the way he wanted -- but you knew you would be rejected, and while you would heal, you weren't sure you wanted to. It hurt you to love him, but you loved him all the same, so nothing changed. Even as seasons came and went, and your elderly mother passed, you took solace in the fact that Azriel's friendship was a constant you could depend on, his friendship, nothing more.
It was as these thoughts flooded through your head that you began to feel repulsed at the feeling of the male's fingers creeping up the inside of the scant, black silk gown you wore, creeping closer and closer to your most intimate part as he pressed you into the wall. Reaching down and grasping his wrist, you forced his hand to retreat.
"Look I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling it tonight," You mumble, placing a hand on his chest to create some space between the two of you. The male scoffed, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into his chest.
"You know you want me," He cooed, a crooked grin spreading across his face. You shook your head, this time forcefully prying him off you and sending him stumbling back into the bar. You would have apologized, but this jerk clearly hadn't heard about consent.
"You bitch," He snarled, and you were sure he would have lunged at you if he hadn't looked behind you. A look of pure terror crosses his face, and if you weren't certain who had been watching you before, you absolutely knew now. A small smirk spread across your face, and it was then that you knew you were going to enjoy this.
Leaning forward, you took notice of the beads of sweat forming on his temple and the nervous bobbing of his Adam's apple as he attempted to swallow his anxiety. Stopping just short of his ear, you allowed your breath to brush it before speaking.
"I would run if I were you, love," You whispered, and the small smirk spread into a full out grin as he bolted for the doors of the popular nightclub. Cackling at his fleeing form, you took notice to the Illyrian approaching you from the rear.
"Did you see that, Az? He was terrified!" You snorted, turning to face your best friend. It wasn't all that uncommon for the inner circle to defend you from unsavory men, and you honestly felt a bit bad for him, as you were sending mixed signals, but that was no excuse for disregarding her lack of consent. Dismissing the thought, it was then you took note of the sour expression on Azriel's face.
"Hey, you okay-" You were cut off when he grabbed your wrist and began -- gently, but firmly -- leading you outside. The cold night air felt nice on your heated skin, but you were too focused on the clearly irritated Illyrian to enjoy it. You attempted to free yourself from his grip, but what usually would have been a simple task seemed to be too difficult in your inebriated state.
"Let go, Azriel! What's your problem, huh!" You hissed finally freeing yourself. You were by the Sidra now, and you were beginning to grow cold now. Azriel, who had been silent the entire time, finally spoke, but not after shucking of the suit jacked that Mor had coerced him into wearing to celebrate Rhy's return.
"He had his hands all over you," He muttered, causing you brows to rise. "Yes, and you stopped him from doing anything unsavory -- nothing happened -- so, why are you mad?"
Azriel shook his head, murmuring something even your fae hearing couldn't pick up.
"Nobody should be touching you like that except..." He trailed off, and it was then that you noticed the soft blush spreading across his cheeks. You knew what he was getting at, but you wanted to hear him say it.
"What did you say," You asked, attempting to keep the amusement at bay, as you knew he would never finish if he knew you were teasing him. Azriel seemed to pick up on it anyway, sending you a half-hearted glare, but he complied none the less.
"Nobody should be touching you like that except me," He clarified, and it was then that you burst out into laughter, causing his heart to sink. He turned to leave in an attempt to save himself some embarrassment, but you grabbed his wrist before he could.
"Sorry, Az. I'm not laughing at you I swear, I just -- never thought I'd see you jealous, of me of all people." Azriel's brows furrowed, causing your sorry attempt at stifling your laughter to fail.
"I like you too," You giggled, but your expression fell quickly. "Wait, what about, Mor? You've been pining after her for years-" His lips crashed into yours, and you immediately quieted. It seemed like the moment had lasted only a few seconds, but it must have been longer, as when the kiss broke, you were both panting.
"Mother," You gasp, and it was then that Azriel began laughing. Cauldron, you loved the sound, and it was then that you swore to make him laugh every single day because it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever heard.
"I care about Mor, but I care about you more. You've been with me since the beginning-" This time you were the one who had to cut him off with a kiss.
"As long as you're sure." Azriel nodded, and a grin spread across your face. "Lovely," You hum, quickly pressing a kiss to his lips, before darting off back towards Rita's.
"Then let's dance," You giggle.
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another world | preview
azriel x reader
requested: Hey, I saw you were doing requests for azriel in ACOTAR and I've been having a lot of Azriel feels lately and was wondering if you could an Azriel x reader where the reader has come from this world and has read the books and is all like ??? and finds the Inner Circle to ask for help to get home and then her and Az fall in love and are mates and it's quite angsty because he can't leave his family but she can't stay but then she gets turned into Fae somehow and happy ending eventually. Is that ok?
word count: 966
warnings: literally none i think other than cursing in the authors note and ofc covid19,,, but be cautious
a/n: this is my first attempt at writing something long/for azriel again after a long time so im sorry if it’s shite and short. its also kinda just the preview. i needed something to get the ball rolling and the plot is so,,, detailed i couldnt just start from fuckall so here this flaming pile of garbage is. PS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT I MIGHT BE SELLING ARTWORK SOON. ill be posting a few of my works and if people become interested in asking for commissions ill be glad to sell. i dont have a job currently and its hard to get one b/c of COVID19 so this is kinda a last ditch resort so.. anywho. love yall and youll see anya’s art soon-ish. in the next two weeks hopefully. anyways please enjoy
Crap. That's all you could think as the pounding in your head made it impossible to truly come up with any other coherent thoughts. The light that poured through the windows of the unfamiliar house burned your eyes and the bed you now laid on was stiff and old. You were nowhere near home. Reaching for your phone in your pockets you cursed yourself, and your friends, for allowing you to drink so much. It seems that you had gotten so drunk, you’d landed yourself in thirteenth century England, or whatever the hell. Of course realistically this wasn’t true but wherever the hell you were, it seemed as though the person who lived here hadn’t been ‘with the times’ so to speak.
A second assessment of your surroundings just confirmed that thought. The wood beneath your feet was old and looked worn and rotten. The bed is equally worn with no entertainment devices in sight. It seemed to be a studio, however you had been convinced it was a house, but alas, there was a wash station and a kitchen table no less than thirty feet from where you sat. Of course, no one was anywhere to be seen and to top it all off, your phone had no signal. None. It was even as if the section at the top left was blank which was completely abnormal. And you would have more time to question it if it weren’t for the front door clamoring open and a tall figure emerge through the doorway.
“Oh good, you’re awake.” The tall female muttered and wiped off her clothes. “Where am i?” You questioned quickly, fear wavering in your voice as you realized she was dressed quite oddly. A soft tunic that would have definitely dated back to the thirteenth century and some trousers and footwear that had seen better days. She gave you a puzzled look. “Prythian, dear.” She scoffed and went to the wash basin to set down the food you had just realized she had been carrying. “Where is that?” You pushed further. How long had you been out for?
The lady gave you another odd look before busying herself again. “Where are we? Somewhere in England? Anywhere in Britain? It sounds British. Are we in America? Where?”
“Prythian. The continent.” She stated, her looks of concern soon matching your own. “I have no clue how you ended up all the way in the Night Court, but no matter, I’ll bring you to Velaris before sundown and surely our High Lord will return you to the human lands.” She went on and you had to sit back down for a moment. “Human lands...?” You muttered to yourself and glanced back at the woman. Pointed ears, slender face and extreme beauty. Your memory, which had completely forgotten you until now, was slowly returning.
Prythian. It sounded familiar. You just assumed you’d heard it in a world history or apush class. No, you’d heard it from a book. Yes, a fantasy book. But that wasn’t possible.
“Rhysand. Rhysand is your High Lord?” You asked, narrowing your eyes. The girl’s face lit up. “Yes! So you do know about Prythian! You’re not a lost cause after all!” Ignoring the backhanded comment you attempted to make more sense of the situation. “I must be dreaming.” You shook your head and began to stand, suddenly feeling light headed. “If you’re so eager to go, I can take you now, I can assure you you are not dreaming.” She confirmed. You nodded. “Take me now then. Please. I don’t belong here.” With some more hesitant conversation, the woman, who’s name was Rinna, agreed to take you to Velaris sooner than later. She lived on the outskirts of the city, just before the glamour took hold, and knew you were human and in turn gave you all of the essentials. Warm clothes that didn’t look out of place, a bag for your things, and some food.
“It’s an hour’s journey over mountain so be prepared.” She warned. You nodded before leaving her cottage and mounting one of the two horses she had owned.
You needed to figure out what had happened. The last thing you remember was being with your close friend and laughing in a bathroom at a party you two were at. And then everything was blank after that. You had read, and loved A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas but never in a million years did you think you would ever find yourself so far from home, and so close to the world you had loved. You now realized why books were just books. They were easy to love from afar. But so close, so very very close, they became scary. Too real. You were far from home, with no idea how to get back. You hadn’t said goodbye to anyone and without warning, your whole life was gone. And in reality, you knew no one here. Except now maybe Rinna, and technically all of the Inner Circle. But they didn’t know you. And that made all the difference.
You would figure out how to get home no matter what it took. You needed to get home. And as much as finding yourself in the ultimate fantasy world secretly excited you, it scared you. Greatly. You were human in the land of the fae about to meet the strongest High Lord in history. And you had no defenses. But now was no time to be weak. If loving these books had taught you anything, it was that being scared was the perfect time to be brave. You would meet your essential heroes but you would also find your way back home and have a hell of a story waiting for everyone when you got back.
well that was fucking shite. hope you enjoyed lol i love yall PS READ THE AUTHORS NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!
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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* azriel x reader
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ breakfast is a family affair
Azriel murmured, burrowing himself deeper into the soft skin of your back. "He's awake," Azriel chuckled, the breath hitting your spine causing you to shiver. A moment later, you heard the soft patter of footsteps until they stopped outside your door.
A chubby hand slips under your door, swiping at the air as Mathias attempts to peer under. You stifle your laughter. Whispering, despite his blatant attempts to wake you both, Mathias says, muffled from his face being pushed as close to the floor as it can get, “It’s Wednesday,”
“That is it,” Azriel whispered to you. His lips draw long your naked back, getting lower as he moved to stand. “I’m surprised he let us sleep in this long,” You chuckled. The clock along the wall read nine. “He’s been sitting in his room for an hour now. I suppose his patience wore thin,”
Azriel slips on pants, throwing you one of his shirts. He waits until you’ve thrown it over your head to open the door. “My little bat,” Azriel greets, picking up Mathias by his ankle. Mathias shrieks, laughing loudly when Azriel tosses him into his arms and blows on his stomach. His wings flap excitedly, “Mama help,” Azriel tosses him onto the bed, Mathias crawling over to you and burying his face into your shoulder, and wrapping his arms around you. His laughter dies down after a moment, the grin on his face reminiscent of Azriel.
He flops down on the pillows, rubbing his stomach dramatically. “I’m starving,” He whined, eyes clenched shut. Azriel raised a brow, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “So you weren’t sneaking fruit this morning?” Mathias froze completely, his whole body tense as he tried to conjure up a thought. “It wasn’t for me,” He shakes his head, “It was for your shadows. They need to eat too,” Inwardly, you winced at the thought of stepping in fruit or finding it only once it began to rot.
“I wouldn’t want my son to starve,” You brushed back his hair. “What you like to eat?” It was an unnecessary question. Each Wednesday, long before Mathias was born, you and Azriel spent each Wednesday making a family affair of breakfast. Back then, it had been spent with far fewer clothes and with both of you the main courses.
Incredulously, near offense, Mathias sits up, “It’s Wednesday,” Azriel chuckles, “Waffles, then?” Excitedly, Mathias nods his head. “Can I help?”
You kissed his temple, “Of course,”
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