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madwomansapologist · 1 year

Note

Hello! I noticed that you have Brooklyn nine nine in your masterlist

As a fan of B99, May I request a wholesome headcanon of Rosa Diaz, Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta, Charles Boyle and Terrence Jeffords' reaction of meeting the reader who is captain Raymond Holt and kevin cosner's adoptive child and is working in the 99th precinct

Sorry if this is long

99th precint meeting Kevin & Holt adoptive child would include

synopsis: The squad already knew that Raymond Holt is a man of few words, but who would have thought that he had a child?

warnings: none. gender neutral. no race implied. no age implied. like jake and amy, everyone deserves to feel like Holt and Kevin's kid. all b99 detectives included. reader have Holt and Kevin's personality.

Dear 99th Precint, I proudly inform you that today will be my child's first day of work as a rookie cop in our precinct. Don't embarrass me. Sincerely, Raymond Holt.

• No one had ever heard Raymond talking about having a child. They never saw a photo of them on his house. Kevin never mentioned something. Or have them? No. No, they didn't.

• Even Gina was surprised. She was mean about it, of course, but she didn't knew anything.

• When Holt arrived, everyone was waiting for him on his office. Peralta tried to play cool before asking, but soon Terry was screaming about how could he have a child and didn't say anything to them.

Haymond answered without blinking an eye: "Peralta would make it weird." Everyone understood. "Hey!" Everyone except Peralta. "But why you don't have pictures with them on your house?" Amy asked. "Are you implying I would forget my child's face, Santiago?" Holt was clearly offended.

• You arrived apologizing for being three minutes and seven seconds late. Rosa widened her eyes, muttering about you being his copy. Holt smiled at that comment.

• Jake tried to act like a cool big brother but as soon as you opened your mouth he was fangirling over you. You made a mental note about calling him "bro" if you ever needed something from him or wanted to make him happy. Every single little thing you did was a reason for him to smile widely.

• Terry offered to show you the place, and told you everyone's name. He was all sweet and polite, acting like the dad of the squad. Well, he was. Terry made questions about your training and abillities. He was trying to show off, and it was working.

• Amy was affraid of saying something wrong. Amy danced when you said your father talked about her, and immediately regreted that. All her atempts of acting cool were imterrupted by Gina's jokes. She almost cried when you refered to her as your father's apprentice.

• Hitchcock and Scully thought you were already working with them. They didn't get what was happening. Holt was so glad when they went to took a nap.

• You and Rosa sat down and spent thirty minutes in absolute silence. It was the best experience of your entire life.

• Gina was waiting for you in the hallway of the bathroom. She asked if you wanna form a alliance with her. You obviously said yes, despite not knowing what she really meant by that.

• You were surprised for not meeting Boyle. On your lunch break, you realized why: he had rushed to prepare a meal for the two of you. He and Terry got into a fight about food while you were eating. It was exactly like your father told you. It was perfect.

• You have a nice feeling about working there.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

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st4rxzyy · 2 years

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this man is gonna be the death of me

#jake peralta x reader #jake peralta #jake smut #b99 imagine #b99 headcanons #b99 cast #andy samberg #fypage #cant breathe #ffs

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muskratcactus · 11 months

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THEYRE GAY BUT I CANT PROVE IT

#They’re gay and they adopted a dog together #B99 #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #b99 headcanons #rosa diaz x gina linetti #dianetti #gina linetti #rosa diaz #gay

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that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you · 2 years

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Jake, peeling a banana: may I take your jacket sir? Heheh

Amy: do you think other people can't hear you?

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nftdaisy · 1 year

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no.2

i know you’re my endgame from the first time.

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jellycolors · 2 years

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𝘫𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘴𝘥

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞/𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

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jake-and-amy-are-married · 5 months

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Jake and Amy as elderly couple

1. They become extra extra cute and mushy

2. They do a vow renewal ceremony for their 30th wedding anniversary

3. There's a cute little book store somewhere in the future

4. Though Mac is all for taking care of them, they find a perfect little retirement community where they learn to knit and play bingo and whatever

5. They really enjoy growing old together

#b99 #b99 headcanons #jake peralta #amy santiago #jake x amy #jake and amy #otp: romantic stylez #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine

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yellowjackles · 3 months

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Ha imagining Jake at 90 choosing to pass on by having his family feed him Cinnamon Rolls

Omg i don't want to imagine him being 90 years old 😭 and with his diet he probably dies much younger 😔 i was imagining more like, present time, and Amy finding Jake passed out on the couch and panicking, but then realizing it's just a food coma lol and she can already see her husband's thombstone be like "he ate too many cinnamon rolls". and then amy complaining to holt about it like:

Holt: i wouldn't be surprised if that's how he dies

amy: i know, and it would be so embarrassing

holt: well, he would be dead, so i doubt it would matter

amy: not embarrassing for him, embarrassing for me!

#jake never actually dies though #simply because i don't want him to :)#B99 #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #b99 headcanons

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lyssak09 · 2 years

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I'd love it if you guys would request some stuff. I have a post of things I write for. I can even add more to headcannons, do scenarios, ect. Please enjoy these headcannons about my husband

YandereJake Peralta hcs

Jake is a very sweet, loving, manipulative, protective, obsessive and sometimes delusional yandere

If you have seen the show then you know when Jake gets his into something or sets his heart on something he is all in

And he happened to set his heart on you

Since Jake is a cop he has seen some crappy things. And because of that he is very very protective. He won't even let you in the precient because he is afraid some criminal will target you or put the moves on you

When you first started dating he loved it when you stopped by and dropped off lunch or ate with him. But he was still nervous.

His desk started to kinda become a shine of you. There are photos of you and him everywhere. Jake also has things from your dates on his desk. He kept the cup you guys shared on your 5th date

When Jake has to go into witness protection he stalks you online to no end

You joined the precinct to go help him and Holt. But Jake forced you to stay with Gina and Holt. But of course you three saved the day.

"Y/N!?" Jake yelled when he saw you in the truck. "Hey babe!" You yelled, then ran to him once you saw his blood. You took him to the ambulance then left to check on the rest of thw gang. When you came back you kissed Jake and asked him how he is doing. Jake proceeds to tell you it hurts and he didn't wanna seem week in front of cool EMT Craig. "Do you know my blood type?" He asked. You nodded yes and told him it was B positive. Jake gives you a strange look, "Well, guessed wrong. HEY CRAIG?!"

Not seeing you for 6 months seriously messed with him. He starts to become extra clingy and childish. "I didn't get to see you for 6 months babe! Your friends have seen you more than I have. If you're still gonna go see them than at least let me come with you.

Jake loves to cuddle trap you and make you watch Die Hard

He also loves playing games with you. Especially if you're a bit competitive.

If you do something he doesn't like then he will manipulate you buy making you feel sorry. " You're the only person who has ever made feel this way. And this is how you repay me?"

When Jake goes to prison his side of the room is covered in photos of you. All he does is think about you and his case.

Eventually when he gets freed he will immediately propose to you. But it will still be romantic.

If you say yes (how could you not?) Then the wedding will be amazing. Even with all the bumps that happen. But, if you say no then Jake will seriously gaslight and manipulate you. He'll even start to be aggressive with you. Jake will wear you down tho and you'll say yes.

Most yanderes kill for their love. But since Jake knows a bit better, he'll threaten anyone who is in his way or gets too close to you.

As time goes by more incidents will happen and eventually Jake will kidnap you.

You can fight and scream all you want but Jake is a cop. He is prepared for situations with unstable/upset people.

He'll work extra hard on your case to throw everyone off his scent. He'll even cry at work.

In the beginning of your 'transitioning', Jake will chain you up and lock you in your shared bed room. But if you behave for a while then you'll be allowed to roam around your home. But the windows are locked and painted shut. The doors have six locks on them. And there are cameras everywhere.

Jake's punishments are mental and possibly slight semxual (he believes you do certain things to get the semxual punishments. He is a dominate masochist imo)

He will also take away some of your privileges, such as entertainment and warm clothes (Jake will get a great view and you'll be forced to cuddle him for warmth) and the ability to do things for yourself.

When he has had a hard day from 'working' on your case, he'll yank you from where ever you may be hiding and cuddle you while watching movies

Don't try to escape. Its not worth it. If you try to escape Jake will either catch you or learn about your failed attempt. That will cause him to get angry. He'll break/throw things, yell, and gaslight you.

If you do somehow manage to escape he'll use his ties to the law/NYPD and his detective skills to find you and bring you back home. And he will be PISSED.

"I TAKE CARE OF YOU. I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY WIFE, I LEGALLY OWN YOU!". "You are all I have! How could you do this to me!"

When your case finally goes cold he'll retire and find a job to do at home.

If you want him to do something or get you something then do what he wants/likes. For example, you want a new game? The cuddle with him and play with his hair. Want more supplieses for your hobby, then cook for him (you'll need his help if you need to cut something. All the sharpe objects are locked up) and tell him how much you love him

He loves to indulge you in your hobbies/ things you love. Just be good and he'll give you what you need or want.

Jake is a scary yandere. But he loves you more than anything. Just love him back

"Please Y/N, just love me again. You're all I need."

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanon #yandere male #jake peralta #jake peralta x reader #brooklyn nine nine #b99 headcanons #yandere jake peralta x reader #brooklyn 99 #b99 #Lyssa's hcs #Miss Blue writing

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kaufmann-6 · 1 year

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I love how even though many B99 fans headcanon Jake as bisexual, no one takes Amy away from him because they’re amazing together.

Everyone knows that many shows have drama involving the couples but Jake and Amy were written perfectly, they just sync, the writers didn’t do them dirty and I love it.

#jake peralta #bisexual jake peralta #amy santiago #brooklyn nine nine #b99 headcanons

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lizziebennet92 · 2 years

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My head canon is that Jake Peralta and Kevin Cozner PhD went to an opening weekend showing of "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent" together in honor of their time in the safe house watching Nic Cage movies

Only Kevin wore the same "pervert" disguise he wore to the library because he didn't want anyone to recognize him willingly engaging with popular culture.

#b99 #jake peralta #kevin cozner #brooklyn nine nine #nic cage #the unbearable weight of massive talent #kevin b99 #nicolas cage #b99 headcanons

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madwomansapologist · 11 months

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I saw b99 and idk if your requests are open but i would love a slowburn jake x reader

Where jake is kinda oblivious to reader feelings but also him and reader have a flirt war where who blushes most loses kinda :D

Hope you have a star-tastic day 💫

Wait, what? | Jake Peralta

synopsis: Two competitive idiots in love. That's it.

warnings: None.

note: thank you for your request, i wish you a star-tastic day 🧸🪩

• It was all Boyle's fault. If it wasn't for him, everything would had happen way faster. When you and Peralta meet for the first time, you already working as detective and Jake being a rookie to 99th precint, Boyle shouted something about marriage. It took you years to forget that.

• Jake was a detective with great instincts, it would have been so easy to work with him. Or it would be, if he didn't act like a child. Always bragging, teasing everyone around him, joking about anything that moves. Jake was fun, but was also damn annoying.

• But with time you realized he was more than that. Jake was competent. And never left nobody behind. You could count on him. Not only when you're dealing with dangerous things, but when you need someone to make you laugh on a hard day. Jake will be there, as annoying as he can be, trying his best.

• Falling in love with Jake was unheeded. So slow you didn't even notice. It start with simple things. It started with the way he makes you laugh.

• Jake can make you laugh until you're affraid to piss on your clothes. You being so loud that make other people laugh because of your reaction. But he can also make you chuckle. On these days you're mad at him, or you're in an important meeting, or it is such a bad joke that's embarrasing that you find it funny. And Jake is the best at making you giggle. When you're sad, going through a hard time, and felt like the way of the world is on your shoulders.

• You didn't noticed that you were falling in love, but Jake wasn't so oblivious. He didn't fall in love with you. He walked in love with you. He chose to love you. Jake is immature, and annoying, and childsh and dumb... but he knew what that feeling burning his chest was. Jake just never imagined you could feel the same.

• So time did what it always did: it passes.

• Everything changed when they found out that you were invited to join the Vulture team and didn't know what to do. At first the squad felt betrayed, but then the fear of losing someone important to the team became the most important feeling. Nobody wanted to lose you. Not even Gina.

• For a week, everyone went out of their way to spoil you. You'd fight with them and say it was an important choice and that treats wouldn't help you choose, but that didn't stop them. Boyle cooked your favorite dishes, Terry praised and listened to you, Holt even smiled at you. And Jake, well, Jake became the most competitive person in the world. He was trying to make you realize that no other place would make you as happy as 99th.

• Rosa took you to Shaw's Bar thinking a heart to heart conversation would help, but Jake had other plans. He knew that bar held fond memories, and a little drink would make the nostalgia take root in your heart. He just didn't expect the two of you to end up drunk talking about everything you lived together.

• If without booze you were already competitive, imagine totally drunk. You walked around New York, as loud as possible, betting on everything. About who opened the door first, about what each person on the street would do next, about the result of the football game going on at the time, about which Taylor Swift album would be re-recorded first. And at some point, they decided to see who went the longest without blinking. Jake would blow in your face whenever his eyes stung, but you forced him to keep going until there was a fair winner.

• The drunkness had already destroyed any sense of self-preservation in Jake. All he saw was your constant smile, your cheeks burning, your eyes sparkling. Jake just saw you, without even listening to his conscience. He wasn't afraid, didn't thought he wasn't enough, that you may already had someone else on your heart. Jake didn't think, he just acted. Jake kissed you.

• And you kissed him back.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.