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#back to studying

Actually studying chemistry! Usually doing anything chemistry related is very hard for me to get into because it can get very overwhelming but I really want to graduate so here I am being productive as much as I can and actually studying. I took my meds and that helps me feel more motivated and battle executive dysfunction. Also an update on some grades I got back:


8,6/10 for physics

9,2/10 for physics

5,5/10 for chemistry


9/10 for English

9,2/10 for English

8/10 for maths

Basically I’m doing really well this year thanks to my meds and the fact that I have really nice teachers. My physics teacher has always been close to me and knows exactly how to motivate me. My maths teacher is really young as well and used to only teach first year high schoolers and still explains things in a simplified way which helps me understand things easier and makes me more motivated to do my work (also her name is Nikki too, and she asks about Disney sometimes even though she barely knows anything about it somehow😂), my English teacher is a literal angel who helps me out so much and I’ve absolutely loved her since my first lesson which has kept me motivated to keep up my homework and do super well on my tests to make her proud of me (also, nobody bothers to do anything for her classes and she’s so upset about it and they’re super disrespectful, this makes me extra motivated to show her I care and I love and appreciate her classes super much), my chemistry teacher is also autistic and isn’t good with emotions, but he often understands my anxiety around practicals for example, and yesterday he even came up to me in the hallway to ask how the practical on Thursday went and whenever we have practicals for grades he comes up to me in class to ask if I need any accommodation and if I think of anything I need I can come tell him anytime. So like even if I can’t bond with him the way I do my other teachers, he still is extra nice and understanding to me which makes me feel okay in his classes. Basically I got really lucky this year with teachers, meds and help in general and while things have sucked the past few weeks, I’m still motivated to keep fighting for both my regular and my IB diploma

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B A C K   T O   S C H O O L


Réveil 6h. Ouch. Bon, non, ce n’est pas vrai. Je commence à 14h. 

Émerger à 10h. First step : douche. Makeup. Outfit. Check. Rentrée oblige donc faire un effort pour la première impression. Retrouver Kevin. Direction School of Design & Environment. 10min de bus et nous y voilà. Go à l’amphithéâtre. Toute seule. Kevin et moi n’avons pas les mêmes cours. 

Je n’ai pas le pire des emplois du temps. Ce semestre je n’ai que trois cours. Oui oui. Lundi matin 9-12am : Creative Communication & Design Argumentation. Lundi après-midi 2-6pm : Design Platform 1 « Playscape ». Jeudi après-midi 2-6pm : Design Platform 2 « TUI in the context of Interaction Design ». Les Design Platforms correspondent à des projets longs en groupe. CCDA est un cours mêlant réflexion philosophique et expression orale.

On est jeudi, aujourd’hui, donc TUI. Rencontre avec Brian Stone mon professeur. Rencontre avec les élèves. Tenter de se présenter décemment en anglais. Nada. Demander de répéter 3 fois aux élèves avant de comprendre. Je v vais bien finir par m’y faire. Être rassurée que Brian soit américain, son accent est vraiment plus clair. TUI, qu'est-ce que c'est ? Tangible User Interface. Introduction sous forme d’un brainstorming sur l’ensemble des interactions que peut avoir la main avec le monde. En quoi l’action de presser et différente de simplement toucher? À quelle réaction cela peut-on s’attendre? Quelle est la réponse de l’interface ? Un son? Une sensation? 

14 semaines pour réaliser notre propre TUI. La restitution se fera sous la forme d’une vidéo. Création des groupes. Groupes de deux. Un year 4 et un year 2 ou 3. Les exchange students sont des « bonus ». AH. Être un peu perdue. Y aller au feeling. Demander à Kayli, la fille aux cheveux bleus, et Anqi, la fille avec des grandes lunettes, si je peux intégrer leur groupe. Devenir le bonus de Kayli et Anqi. Être toutes les trois excitées par le projet. S’entendre bien dès les premiers instants. Avoir déjà pleins d’idées. Création de notre groupe WhatsApp. Check. Le semestre peut commencer. 

_National University of Singapore @ School of Design and Environment 


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Observations about being an adult going back to college:

Your previous degree’s loans are still staring at you.

You moved in with your parents and moving back out is indefinitely on hold.

Sleep is a luxury. As is privacy.

Not doing well in class is more embarrassing because you can no longer blame youth.

You remember what a full time paycheck looked like and wonder when you’ll see it again.

Spreadsheets. All the pre-requisites must be organized into a spreadsheet.

Seeing a therapist regularly helps but so does a hot bath, a gym membership, & church.

You have to look for the small bits of progress every week, even if it’s hard to stop thinking about how long 2-4 years is.

Coupon life. Clearance racks. Sale items only.


Originally posted by slk-t

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I would love to fast forward to my wife kissing my dimples on my cheek and my beauty marks all over my body.

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You know, I don’t consider myself a writer, but when my teacher asks for a 500 word essay and the whole class is mumbling about it,the first thing that comes to mind is: “wtf, I’ve written chapters of fanfiction with way more than this. Step up your game bitch”

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I’m not here

did u ever feel like u must not be here? u just must sit on a windowsill somewhere in rowing ??norway?? and look out the window in big fluffy sweater and drink milk and feel like u must not do anything

but!! u must do ur homework u must go to school u must wake up at 7:30 am and holy shit

I just want to not have to do anything

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