#bad allies

[nightmarelyra]

Its super frustrating to point out something you find mildly problematic regarding trans representation or language, and all the cis people around you HAVE to tell you how much it doesn’t offend them and they don’t think its “that bad”

If you do this, please fucking stop. Me mildly criticizing media you like doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad person, but trying to convince me I am wrong for having issues with it sure as hell makes me think you are a real piece of work

#vent #Trans thoughts #bad allies

[sylvansleuth]

MY DARLING BOY!

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 spoilers #fhjy spoilers #dnd #d20 #dropout #fhjy #brennan lee mulligan #lou wilson #ally beardsley #brian murphy #bill seacaster #captain bill seacaster #fabian seacaster #fabian aramais seacaster #kalvaxus #sylvansleuthings #actual tears came to my eyes i cant believe how bad this got me #me too fabian lmao #my darling boy

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[5weekdays]

they gotta give me more enrichment at work look what i just doodled

^ joke that would have killed in 2011

🏳️‍⚧️ this post has come out as trans 🏳️‍⚧️

#i was so proud of walter’s typing quirk that i didn’t remember to make his last name six letter #this sucks. anyway #breaking bad #homestuck #EDIT: I MISSPELLED CAPSAICIN DON'T LOOK AT ME #SECOND EDIT: a transphobe reblogged this so i just want to reiterate that all my posts are transgender #so if you enjoy my posts thanks for being an ally 🫡

[halcyon-autumn]

The bad kids are insane this episode. It's crit city. It's tactical genius. They are blowing through the kinds of monsters that make most dnd parties shit themselves. They've come SO FAR from the scared kids who died to cream corn and I am LIVING for the sheer competency on display here. No one is doing it like the bad kids are doing it.

#i love them #and that's not even getting into kristen's moment when she [redacted] #ally was insane for putting that together #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #the bad kids

[islandoforder]

fig and kristen are making up all these v dumb campaign promises and i can’t stop thinking about the v real and legit campaign promises they could make if they understood the things they’re friends are struggling with: more acceptance of and support for students with unusual multiclassing requests; provision of mandatory spell components by the school, especially for those without financial means; breakfasts provided on campus for those who might not be able to eat at home; removal of the rule that all members of the party should become pass/fail with any party composition change; more support and provisions made for students with unusual relationships to their chosen major, or who do not thrive in a typical academic classroom….

#fig faeth #kristen applebees #emily axford #ally beardsley #gorgug thistlespring #zac oyama #adaine abernant #siobhan thompson #fabian seacaster #fabian aramais seacaster #lou wilson #riz gukgak #brian murphy #the bad kids #intrepid heroes #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy

[dropoutsource]

brennan and ally on their way to ruin my life in another d&d session

#brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #game changer #dropout #dropoutedit #* #by maura #gamechangeredit #i'll make more later but i loved their bad lil dance #brennan #ally #long post #1k

[satisfactuality]

i love watching brennan hinge big supernatural introductions on emily or ally bc they react so differently to them

brennan will put the most monstrous, evil creature in front of emily and she'll meet it with compassion and empathy

brennan puts a sublime deity in front of ally and they talk to it like someone they accidentally bumped into at the mall

#kristen to any of the deities and pete to nod and null #vs red to the big bad wolf and sidney to the junkmother #emily axford #ally beardsley #fantasy high #dimension 20

[fixing-bad-posts]

im a trans ally

#fixing-bad-posts #fixingbadposts #erasure poetry #trans ally #trans allies #queer solidarity #queer

[maggiecc]

One thing I loved about Kristen and her brother’s reunion is HE went for the hug.

Bucky went to Kristen showing he clearly does not resent her too deeply for her leaving. He runs to hug her, taking the step to get to her. Although it has been 2 years since he has seen her he is still so excited to see her. That little brother who was asking his sister about her adventures during her freshman year is still there. Bucky’s love for his sister has not gone away. He asks Kristen to talk after class, showing he wants to reconnect. Maybe to ask what is happening with her, maybe to tell her what has happened since she has left. Either way he WANTS to talk to her.

He could have ignored her, or shrugged her off, running when he saw her put even in front of his parents still gave her a hug.

Despite the fact that his parents bully him and Kristen knowing that this is happening BECAUSE she left he still reaches out. It’s nice to show that even with all she left behind there is still love for her in that house.

#kristen applebees #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #bucky applebees #ally beardsley #d20 #d20 spoilers #d20 fantasy high #the bad kids

[serglesinner]

recently I've been infected by her and it's bad

#like it's BAD it's severe #the part that upsets me is that her brain works the exact same way mine does. i just don't speak #also the Donald Trump impression clips.... #i had her podcast running while i was working on art and kept having to stop bc my hand #was so unsteady bc i kept cracking. #and she's really making me appreciate straight woman culture btw. ally #video #tiktok

[eaglerayy]

I just realized that Buddy dying means he’ll get to meet Helio like Kristen did in freshman year. The start his disillusionment arc perchance?

#I can’t imagine he’s gonna like Helio any more than Kristen did #it feels like just another parallel #of what Kristen could have been without the bad kids #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #brennen lee mulligan #ally beardsley

[littlebitofdnd]

Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #brennan lee mulligan #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fhjy #d20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #sklonda gukgak #sandra lynn faeth #riz gukgak #fig faeth #kristen applebees #like kristen IS a good friend and she DOES appreciate riz and fig but she is a mess #like as mothers of two deeply troubled children it makes sense they're comcerned #if my daughter the self-sacrificing ticking time bomb said she was ignoring a CURSE because she was busy with her friend's campaign??? #or if my son needed me to pull over to take a nap because the SAME GIRL was stressing him out so much?? #i think because we live outside the universe and love kristen it's easy to forget #kristen went from being the 'good kid' that the bad kids corrupted to the bad influence that worries their mothers #thinking about ally saying that kristen this season is when chaos is no longer cute #speaking of which this scene did make me realize how little the Thistlesprings check up on gorgug #ik they're trying though so imma give them a pass #like kristen has NO proper guidance on how to enter adulthood #i GUESS jawbone but Jawbone isn't raising her so much as he is housing her #What Kristen REALLY needs is to have one singular adult want to be her parent #She doesn't HAVE a proper sandra lynn or sklonda checking in on her #she has her ex-girlfriend's uncle #if kristen had someone looking out for her we wouldn't BE in this situation

[nelkcats]

Ghost Doctor

Danny became the new underground Gotham's doctor, unlike Dr.Leslie he treats anyone as long as they're willing to find him (and it is hard if is not the right time) and pay the price.

This may sound extremely sinister but the reality was that Danny was not interested in money; he was already King of a dimension and his funds were not going to run out while he was on vacations.

The treatments vary, along with the reviews, but this is due to the prices he give. When Danny treated the Joker, the clown ended up shaking and almost regretting his actions, falling into a laugh full of madness (Danny's price was simple: Face the same thing you put your victims through)

But when Dr. Freeze knocked on his door, tearfully begging to treat Nora, Danny cured her, his price being a smile and a plea "Live happily with your wife for as long as you can."

With all the knowledge that Frostbite teach him combined with Clockwork showing him all human advances on the future (is not illegal if your ghost parent show you) he rented a warehouse and with the help of some ghosts he dig a hole the same size as the warehouse but meters underground, after that he used his powers and sinked it directly into the hole; he developed all his machinery there, turning it into a Bunker that he was the only one who could access.

Therefore, Danny was a mystery, a danger, his prices were varied and he treated anyone: villain, hero, anti-hero, mafia, criminals, innocents, metas, etc. but your values ​​and actions were what whispered your charge and not even an extremely high amount of money would convince him of giving you a different treatment.

Of course, when Jason jokingly visited him asking to cure the pits (He knew it had no cure), his slightest hope was rewarded when the Doctor simply smiled and accepted (His price? A date).

#danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc x dp #ghost king danny #Dead on main #He and Leslie are allies but she don't trust him #because he attended villains and people with no moral #Danny just laughs and tell her the death would find them soon enough #Danny is the new Gotham Doctor #The bats don't trust him but Jason dont care #The Doctor cured the pits after all #Danny believes in the Justice of the Dead #after all he is part of that justice #Don't worry #Bad people can live happy for now #Cause death would find them eventually #and when that happens #they will have no place to run #detective comics #red hood

[beybuniki]

origin trio in europe pt.3

#shoto is an ally but also a bad wingman but also bakugo suffers so many consequences from shoto's attempts at being a wingman #the lore is crazy in my head #bnha #todoroki shoto #bakugo katsuki #midoriya izuku #rody soul #origin trio #europe au

[squishymar]

me 🤝 neverafter screenshots = grade a content

#fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year spoilers #d20 #vulture #screenshot #my edit #this is so stupid #bad kids #i love family so bad #dropout #kristen applebees #ally beardsley #lou wilson #siobhan thompson #neverafter