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#bad bad weekend for them all so making this cheered me up. hope it will cheer u up too xoxo
jonnywaistcoat · 2 months
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Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.
To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.
On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.
But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.
At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.
As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.
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Hollow Heart - LN
Summary: Lando loses everything and other people have moved on and kept going like nothings changed
Warnings/themes: Major character death, mourning/grief - no specifics of crash or specific of injuries for cause of death mentioned
F1 driver!reader
This is sad imo, so be warned.
No part 2 requests please
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Lando was numb throughout her funeral, always just too far into the void to feel anything but the weight crushing his chest. It feels like he's suffocating, as if he hasn't been able to breathe for 2 weeks now.
The sun went down for that race and it never came back in his world. He's just lost in the darkness, blindly letting other people lead and guide him around in hopes that he can trust them to be making him do the right thing.
"Lando, mate." Jon states snapping Lando out of the daze. Something that Jon has had to do a lot since they came back for the Monaco GP. "We need to get moving."
The last thing Lando wants to do is leave his apartment. He doesn't want to see people, he wants to go back home. He wants to spend hours watching videos and looking at pictures and remembering her.
Scratch that.
He wants y/n back.
Her to be there in bed when he wakes up. To hug him whenever he can catch her between their track sessions. To drag her around on the race weekends where there isn't any F1 duties for them. To smell her. To watch her. To dance with her. To drive around Monaco with her and feel alive again.
Something in him died with her.
Something in him that was taken when he got to her first and dragged her out of the cockpit away from the flames. She was unconscious.
He didn't know she was already gone.
The sudden memory makes his stomach lurch but he manages to keep himself from the urge to be sick. He'd already been threatened about being pulled from the race thanks to a weight loss because he just hadn't been eaten properly. Jon has been practically force feeding him since they realised he'd lost 8 kilos in the first week since her death.
He's not properly gained it back but he is gaining again so the FIA are allowing him to compete.
Hardly anyone has dared to speak to him. They didn't know what to say and in a way, many of them knew her and they are in a state of mourning for her too. Not quite to the degree that Lando is, but it has affected them all.
"Hi, Lando. It's good to see you." The reporter greets as he steps up after qualifying. "That's a good position, P3."
"Yeah, it's good. I'm happy with it. I think it's the best we could do with the car. Oscar P5 behind me. We're in good positions." Lando nods earning a small nod.
"And how are you feeling going into this race?"
"Do I need to answer that?" Lando questions with a fake smile. "Shit. Probably been the worst 2 weeks of my life. But I'm hoping I can do something to give myself something to feel."
"Good luck."
It's a weak and uncertain reply but he thanks her and moves onto the next.
No one is brave enough to outright ask about how he feels about y/n. Even Lando would have to say it's a wise choice and the more respectful choice.
His family are there and he feels bad to admit that he's just not feeling good enough to talk to them. His mum is trying her best to take care of him while not smothering him. But none of them know how to comfort him.
How do you make someone feel better when they lose the person they had planned to marry and spend their life with?
-
Standing at the front of the grid, Lando sighs being the one to place her helmet on the small podium central to the drivers.
He doesn't want to look at it but when he makes the mistake of seeing a screen and sees her face, the clips of her wins and her cheering and then a clip of the two of them on the podium together.
Carlos arm around his shoulder makes the world feel like it's suddenly pressing on his shoulders and the Spaniard finds himself as the only thing keeping Lando upright and the younger man's eyes are filling with tears for the first time since y/n died.
He'd not shed any tears but this moment forces him to accept the grief and the painful truth.
The first race without her. The first race of the rest. She'll never be there at the end of a race to wave at him as they do their in laps. She'll never congratulate him when he gets a podium or ignore her celebrations for a podium to see him. She'll never wait for him once they've pulled off track and she's out the car.
She'll never do anything again. And he has to keep living and do everything without her.
How is he supposed to do that?
The silent minute in her honour ends but it's quickly followed by the anthem and Lando final finds the strength to stand upright again. His whole body feels like it's aching like someone's used him as a punch bag.
Once the anthem is over, Carlos doesn't let him go straight away.
"Are you alright, mate?" Carlos asks making Lando look at him.
"I'm going to have to be. She's not coming back." Lando states feeling his voice wobble as he says the last part and Carlos almost retracts back at his words.
It's not something anyone wanted to admit. But hearing it from Lando and hearing the agony it's bringing to him. Carlos feels like he's watched the death of a driver and now he has to watch the destruction of Lando as a result.
Lando moves away having to get to his car while Carlos moves to his own, trying to shake off the feeling that he needs to worry about Lando.
They each have tributes to y/n and Lando hates seeing it, as he catches sight of her name and number stickers onto his car. His chest squeezes before he sits down into the cockpit and remains quiet.
He sighs as they tighten the straps on him then patting his helmet.
He wanted a tribute helmet but he was in not state of mind to be wearing something for her today or to be discussing designs for her.
By some miracle he locks into a mindset that keeps him focused on the race and when they get moving.
-
After his Monaco podium, people seemed to decide Lando was fine and treated him as such.
Questions about y/n and how he is coping increased. A demand for him to just ignore his own grief.
Canada, Spain and Austria pass in a blur. Before he knows it, he's at his home race and it's been over a month since she died. Since he lost her and he has to visit her.
"We really need you in today on the sim. We're adding those upgrades on the car-"
"I'm not available today." Lando cuts in as he stares at his phone. Andrea having called since Lando didn't show up.
"We need you here today, mate."
"You have Oscar. I'm going to my girlfriend's grave. Remember her? The driver who died in Imola?" Lando almost spits then hanging up in hopes of containing his rage before he looks out his car window to the graveyard. His body slumps forward at the sound of his phone going off, resting his forehead on the steering wheel.
He hasn't been back here since he spent nearly 8 hours sitting at the foot of her grave after her funeral. No one bothered to try and move him. His suit got muddy and he was there till dark.
Eventually he feels the 10 ton weights keeping him in the car lift just enough for him to get out the car, grabbing the bouquet of tiger lilies along with a couple other things he wanted to put there that he thinks she'd have liked.
When he gets there he sighs with a frown, he hates seeing her grave. As much as it's a means to remember her. It's a reminder that she's not here and it hurts.
"I'm sorry, I haven't been back. I wanted to...but it's been so hard...everything is still where you left it in my apartment. I bought a few bottles of your perfume so I could spray it around...on your pillow in bed and your spot on the sofa...and on that McLaren hoodie that you would only wear when you knew no one would see it." Lando states, more than aware he sounds like a crazy person by talking to dead person's grave. "I love you so much."
He begins placing the flowers in the vase that is built fixed to the stone. He'll have to come back more often to replace them and make sure she always has flowers. She loves putting flowers around his apartment. In fact thinking back on it, the last ones she bought have to still be in the vase. No doubt wilted and dead.
"No one understands, y/n. No one understands what it feels like. I want to keep going, I know that you'd never forgive me for being like this." Lando mumbles rubbing his hand over his face before he sighs softly. "Everyone seems to be happy to forget you...and just move on. Like you dying is just an...inconvenience. I'm not ready to move on...I don't know if I'll ever be ready...but the grass hasn't even properly grown over."
There's small sprouts a thin growth but not enough for her to blend in with the rest.
He places down the other little gifts including a letter he'd written, it'll get wet and ruined in the rain, grow soggy and fall apart into the ground. She'll never know what it says.
"I just wish I had one more conversation with you. I don't even know what I'd say. But I'd do anything to even just listen to you talk." Lando sighs before hearing someone clear their throat behind him, she scuffling of shoes on the dry grass. "Y/m/n."
"Lando...I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you back here." Y/m/n states making him quickly stand up. "She'd love those lilies."
"Yeah?" Lando smiles feeling a wave of grief drowning him.
Y/n's mum looks as hollowed out as he feels. He lost the the love his life but she lost her daughter. He remembers a comment his mum had made to his dad when they thought he wasn't listening about how a parent never imagines a day they have to bury their own child and how they couldn't imagine the type of pain.
Y/n always looked so much like her mum, pictures of y/m/n in her youth could be mistaken for pictures of y/n. Though a slightly different hair and eye colour combination. But the facial features and even body type were all replicated as if y/m/n had just cloned herself.
They were hurting enough just seeing Lando morph into a shadow of himself.
"How have you been, Lando?" Y/m/n asks then straining her smile. "And I mean really how have you been?"
"I don't know how to breathe without her." Lando admits feeling like maybe he's been neglecting to recognise that y/m/n might just be the one person in the world who can understand his pain. "And sometimes I don't want to wake up because I know that she's never going to be there again."
Y/m/n nods before taking a shaky breath in and smiling.
"And I don't understand how people can say it gets easier, because every single day it feels even harder than the last and I'm not even sure I want it to get easier because then I feel like I'll completely have lost myself."
He can't even stop himself when he moves forward and hugs the woman when he realises he's caused tears, but now he's also feeling tears trickle down his own cheeks.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be silly." Y/m/n frowns making swallow thickly then Lando decides he knows how he'd rather spend his day.
"Will you come to lunch with me? I have people I want to avoid and...I think I'd rather be with someone who...doesn't think the right thing to tell me is to just move on." Lando states earning a small smile.
"You could come to our house. I've been learning all sorts of new recipes and baking...the only way I know to kill the time. It still feels wrong doing it without an extra pair of hands but I think your company while I cook and then eating together will make up for it."
"I could try helping." Lando smiles feeling maybe the first spark of happiness in a long time. He almost forgot what it feels like. Though it's snuffed out as quick as it appeared, it still manages to keep up the smile because spending the day with someone who is a piece of y/n and he wants to keep hold of that.
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catmiemy · 23 days
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Not All Change Is Bad (Lia Wälti x Reader)
Summary: Now that you know Lia has feelings for you, you have to figure out where to go from there.
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The next morning you woke up exhausted, only having managed to fall asleep for a few minutes at a time. You were weirdly relieved when you checked your phone and it was finally an acceptable time to get up.
A/N: Thanks to the long weekend I actually finished this second part already. You can find the first part here.
This got a bit longer than I thought and I didn't even include most of the fluff at the end that I already planned out. So potentially there could be a third part focused more on happiness with a bit of angst. Let me know if you'd liked to read that. :)
Nadine was still sleeping soundly, so you didn’t have to deal with her seeing the mess you were. You headed straight to the bathroom, annoyed with yourself when you saw how horrible you looked in the mirror. There were dark bags underneath your red eyes, spots all over your cheeks from rubbing away all the tears and your hair resembled a bird’s nest from all the tossing and turning you had done.
You quickly went to work to make yourself more presentable. The last thing you wanted was for Lia to feel guilty when she saw you. You would be damned if you made this any harder for her than it had to be, and if the only thing you could do was pretend you were okay you would do that.
In your noble quest you completely forgot to take into consideration that to Lia’s eyes it would seem like this whole situation hadn’t affected you at all. She almost burst into tears when she saw how put together you looked, the only thing saving her from it, was Ana pointing out all the signs that you were actually not fine that were right underneath the surface of your carefully crafted façade.
The whole camp felt like torture to you and more than once you wished it was finally over. But every time you did you remembered that at Arsenal you would still see Lia, who could barely look into your direction anymore and darted away whenever you were anywhere close to her, almost every day. And back home Jessica was waiting for you.
Your girlfriend and you still hadn’t talked or even texted, which wasn’t too uncommon on Jessica’s part after an argument. Her go to reaction was to completely ignore you, while you usually did everything to get your girlfriend to forgive you, sending long, heartfelt texts, buying her small gifts, apologizing over and over again. You had never questioned if this was okay or healthy, and you didn’t really question it now, you just didn’t have the energy to do it, so you didn’t.
Every once in a while you remembered how you had completely ignored her call after you had asked to talk that night and were hit by a pang of guilt. You should reach out to your girlfriend. And you also should talk to Lia, make things easier for her. You should be fine with all of this, you should communicate more and better, you shouldn’t let this distract you from football, you shouldn’t feel like hiding away for the rest of your life.
As the days passed you became increasingly frustrated with yourself and your inability to do any of the things you should do. The only thing you managed to do halfway decently was keep up appearances well enough. Sure, many of your teammates checked in with you, but they accepted your forced smile and your fake cheerfulness as you assured them that you were totally fine.
Ana was a different story. She tried to push a bit harder, but every time she did, you sent her right back to Lia. “Please just make sure she’s alright, yeah? I’m totally fine, don’t worry about me.”
This did nothing to stop your friend from worrying, nonetheless she always listened to your request, well aware that the only person you really felt comfortable opening up to was Lia. Therefore Ana could only hope that as time passed the two of you managed to find your way back to each other again, maybe even as more than best friends. She still held out hope that you actually returned Lia’s feelings and just needed a little longer to figure that out.
As much as you had often wished camp was over when it actually was and you were boarding the plane to take you back to London, you desperately wanted to stay. Going back home meant you could no longer ignore the whole situation with Jessica and how horrible you’d been acting. It took every ounce of your willpower to force your feet to take you into the plane.
Another thing you dreaded was spending the flight next to Lia, although a small part of you also clung to some hope that the forced proximity would do you good, give you a chance to talk. However as you found your seat all that hope was ripped from you, in the seat that should have been Lia’s sat Noelle, smiling at you sympathetically.
All you could do to avoid breaking down right then and there was to sink down in your seat and blast music into your ears. Thankfully Noelle got the hint and left you alone.
Throughout the flight you did your best to keep your mind occupied with doing at least three things simultaneously. Nevertheless, the closer you got to landing the more your anxiety spiked. Poor Noelle was probably getting annoyed by your constant leg bouncing and fidgeting. Not that the gentle woman would ever say anything.
At the airport when you were slowly heading to the exit to catch a cab back to your apartment you were suddenly stopped by Lia’s voice, “Y/N, wait!”
With a racing heart you stopped in your tracks, turning to face your best friend. Although were you even allowed to call her that anymore?
Lia approached you with a worried face, picking at her cuticles, a clear indication to you that she was nervous. This hurt; you never wanted to get to a place where she was nervous to talk to you.
“I know things are weird between us right now and I really want to move past it, I just don’t know how yet. But…I still wanted to check in. Are you okay to go home? I know you left things with Jessica in a weird place and you looked almost scared on the plane and no matter where we stand I’m still always here for you,” Lia rushed out.
Your heart cracked and all the tears you had held back on this day so far gathered in your eyes, blurring your vision. How very Lia of her to still worry about you and ignore her own emotions and insecurities to make sure you were okay when you were the reason she was so miserable. 
You shook your head and blinked harshly to chase away the tears, then you plastered a what you hoped to be reassuring smile on your face.
“That’s very sweet of you, but please don’t worry about me, I’m totally fine, and after all these years I know how to deal with Jessica.”
Pain flashed in Lia’s eyes and you kicked yourself for bringing up how long you had been with your girlfriend. Way to hurt her more!
She smiled back at you and you could only hope that your smile had been more convincing than hers. “Okay, but never forget that I’m still always here for you.”
And with a goodbye Lia walked away from you, leaving you with an aching heart. Now that you had spoken with her again, it was even more painful to go back to this weird place of not talking. You wanted to run after her, share a ride like you normally did, and maybe hide out at her apartment for the rest of your life so you never had to deal with Jessica.
In front of the door to the apartment Jessica and you shared you took a moment to hype yourself up. You could do this, you had done this about a million times. Maybe it had never been this bad, but you would just have to grovel a little more.
You entered the apartment, calling out to your girlfriend. Just as you expected you didn’t get a response. Maybe she wasn’t home! Even if that would only postpone the argument for a little while, you still wanted it to be true.
Sadly you were out of luck. You quickly found Jessica sitting on the couch, staring at her phone and completely ignoring your presence.
“Hi,” you greeted her awkwardly, your girlfriend still not showing any signs of having noticed you. “Look I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone and haven’t reached out since. This camp has been absolutely crazy.”
It was a weak explanation, and definitely not enough to get Jessica to acknowledge you again. To even have any hope of getting there you would need to apologize and beg. However when you were searching for the right words, you realized that you didn’t want to do it this time. You were tired of these same old patterns that always left you feeling like you weren’t good enough.
You weren’t someone that got mad often, but now you could feel all the suppressed feelings inside of you rapidly turning into anger.
“Can you just cut this crap out and talk to me like an equal human being?” You snapped at Jessica.
At least you succeeded in getting a reaction. She dropped her phone, turning to you, the surprise on her face quickly morphing into anger just as intense as your own.
“Excuse me?! Who has been ignoring me for the last ten days after not picking up the phone when it was you who suggested we talk that night? I think I have every right to be angry,” Jessica yelled back at you.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t be angry, but acting as if I’m air is just plain childish! I said I was sorry and I also said that things have been crazy, but apparently you don’t care about that.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Okay then, what crazy thing happened that stopped you from contacting me at all? Did the monster under the bed steal your phone? Or did aliens project a force field around your camp, stopping all electronic devices from working?”
Her mocking only made you angrier, so without thinking about it if it was wise to reveal this to Jessica, you told her about learning of Lia’s feelings for you.
After that all hell broke loose, everything the two of you had kept inside for way too long spilling out in hurtful words, ending in a scream match that had neither of you even hearing what the other was saying anymore.
In the end it was you who said the fateful words, “I think it’s high time that we break up! Well it was probably high time years ago and we were just too stuck to notice.
“No, I don’t accept that! You don’t break up with me, I’m breaking up with you,” Jessica retorted.
By now most of the anger had drained from your body, you just shrugged your shoulders. “Whatever, I’m leaving.”
Once you were out of the apartment you just started walking; the entire palette of negative emotions fighting for the lead inside of you. Before too long you found yourself standing in front of Lia’s little house. Just the sight of the familiar building that had been your refuge so often in the past was enough to break down the emotional barriers you had carefully constructed over the last couple of weeks, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks.
Lia had said you could still come over if something happened. So despite feeling more than a little unsure about it, you walked up to the front door and knocked. You needed her right now and if she would send you away you didn’t know if you could deal with it.
Of course there was no reason to worry, Lia didn’t miss a bit, ushering you into her apartment and holding you tightly while you cried your eyes out. You weren’t coherent enough to explain what had happened, but from the bits and pieces you managed to get out, she got the gist of it.
Somewhere in the back of your mind was some immense guilt for making Lia take care of you after everything, however it was drowned out by how safe you felt in your best friend’s arms. You wanted to stay there for the rest of your life, blocking out the rest of the world.
After your crying session you were hit by a wave of extreme tiredness, your eyes fluttering shut every so often. Lia gently massaged the back of your scalp, knowing you were prone to tenseness there, and it was making you even sleepier.
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” She offered.
.
You should refuse, you should pull yourself together and leave Lia be, maybe call Leah to come over and check up on her after you had once again dumped your emotions all over her. You should be a better person and do that, instead you mumbled, “Yeah, I’d like that very much.”
The two of you got ready for bed. Lia insisted on it, you would have happily stayed on the couch in your regular clothes without brushing your teeth if it meant you didn’t have to move. There wasn’t any need for using a spare toothbrush or borrowing some clothes from Lia, you had left this kind of stuff here ages ago. It was just easier this way with all the impromptu sleepovers you had.
The two of you lay down on your respective sides of the bed, facing each other like you usually did to exchange some whispered words before falling asleep. You were already half asleep, not alert enough to stop yourself from mumbling, “I really really missed you, Schätzi. So stupid of me not to realize I also have feelings for you.”
You drifted off to sleep immediately afterwards, completely missing the way Lia went rigid as she heard your words, an onslaught of different emotions hitting her. The hardest one to deal with was the renewed hope she had mostly buried long ago. For years she had dreamt of you telling her that you felt the same way, she had played out hundreds of different scenarios of how it might happen. And Lia thought it would make her the happiest person on the planet.
However now that you had said the words, she was just scared. Scared that you didn’t really mean it, scared that you were merely confused by the emotional rollercoaster you were going through, scared that you were only clinging to her because Lia was familiar and comforting.
When you woke up the next morning the bed next to you was empty. For one blissful nanosecond you thought this was just a normal sleepover until all the memories hit you with full force. Shame and guilt began eating at you for putting Lia in this position, not only had you shown up here and made her comfort you after your breakup, you had also blurted out that you too have feelings for her at the most inappropriate time possible.
Not that it wasn’t true. The realization had been simmering underneath the surface for a while, not something that you were ready to acknowledge yet, but now that you had, there was no doubt left in your mind. So that wasn’t the problem, the problem was that it absolutely been the wrong moment to say it.
With a rapidly beating heart you finally got out of bed, determined to find Lia and apologize. You found her in the kitchen, staring into her cup of coffee. She looked dead tired, almost slumping onto the table. This only made you feel even guiltier. No doubt had your careless words cost your best friend some sleep.
Despite everything Lia still offered you a weak smile and got up to get you a cup of coffee. You tried to protest, but she simply waved away your words. Lia never trusted you to make your own coffee; she knew you had a tendency to make it too strong which then in turn made you a little hyper. 
“I’m sorry,” you said at the same time as your best friend stated, “There are some things I need to say.”
You nodded, gesturing at Lia to continue talking; she deserved to go first and get everything she wanted off her chest.
The brunette took a deep breath and when she began talking it sounded rehearsed, making you wonder how early she had gotten up to prepare and practice this whole speech. “I thought about all this for a long time and as much as I want to be the one to support you through this breakup, I don’t think I can.”
“What you said yesterday before falling asleep…It was everything I’ve wanted to hear for the longest time, but I think it’s important that you take your time to figure things out and make sure that you actually mean it.”
You opened your mouth to assure Lia that you did, how could you not? But one pleading look from her was enough to shut you up. She wasn’t ready to hear it; nothing you could say would make Lia fully believe it.
“So let’s just take some time, yeah? This way you can work through your breakup and everything else,” the brunette concluded.
Once again you nodded, even if it wasn’t what you wanted at all. You totally understood Lia’s request for some time apart and you would give her as much as she needed. After all she had apparently been waiting for you for years, so this was the least you could do.
“I don’t want to kick you out, but I really believe this is what’s best for us in the long run. But I can help you call one of our teammates so you can stay with them if you don’t want to go home?” Lia offered.
She was clearly conflicted about this course of action, still worrying about you. Therefore you quickly shook your head, reassuring the midfielder that you were fine and already had a plan. “Please don’t worry about me,” you told Lia more than once.
However the fact that you got up after saying this and walked towards the front door still in your pajamas definitely didn’t help your case.
“You know you can get dressed and even take a shower first,” Lia said, trying to keep her voice light and joking, when in reality your confusion scared her. Would you really be okay?
After taking a swift shower you felt a little more like yourself and managed to convince Lia that you wouldn’t walk right into a disaster if she let you out of her sight.
Saying goodbye was awkward, both of you looking at each other, unsure what to do. You longed to hug your best friend, but you didn’t think that would be welcome right now, so you merely waved at Lia lamely and told her you would see her at training.
During your shower you had come up with a plan; you waited until you were sure Jessica would have left for work, then you went to the apartment and packed a bg. All of your teammates would have happily let you stay with them, but you didn’t feel comfortable going to any of them, so instead you headed to a nearby hotel.
The moment you closed the door of your hotel room behind you, you sank to the floor, breaking down completely. You had thought you had cried yourself all out last night, but apparently there was an inexhaustible fountain of fresh tears somewhere inside of you.
That’s how you spent the rest your day, crying in various places. At some point you moved from the door to the bed, staying there until you had to go to the bathroom, crying on the floor leaning against the bathtub for a good while.
It was a small mercy that you feel asleep pretty early, exhausted from all the crying and from beating yourself up mentally. You were so angry at yourself for how you had treated both Lia and Jessica, you should have been better!
The next morning you felt like you had a hangover, your head pounding. However at least you were in control of your waterworks again, so you were hopeful you wouldn’t start crying during training. After another shower and a quick breakfast you felt a little better, confident in your ability to pretend to be a normal human being for as long as you needed.
And that’s what you did, not only that day but also the following ones. You acted throughout the day like you were fine, when someone asked you how you were, you stated time and time again that you were fine, no matter how much anyone could see that you weren’t.
The biggest challenge to your composure were the sad looks Lia kept sending your way when she thought you didn’t notice. It hurt you on a visceral level that you were the reason she was so miserable. In reality that wasn’t why Lia continued to look at you like this, it wasn’t because you had made her unhappy, but because she hated to see you take so little care of yourself and quietly falling apart in front of her eyes.
Every day as soon as you could you would go home, declining every invite to hangout from your teammates, because as soon as you stumbled into your hotel room, the tears returned, and all you could do for the rest of the day, was lay in bed, cry and berate yourself.
How had you been so stupid and not noticed Lia’s feeling for you? Why were you so weak and pathetic and ran right to her side after your breakup when you knew this would only make it more difficult for her? Furthermore you also felt horrible for how you had left things with Jessica. Sure, your relationship hadn’t been good for a while, but she deserved more from you!
About a week later you were once again laying in your hotel bed, staring at the ceiling, hating on yourself when your phone rang. You planned to ignore it, like you had been doing for the most part lately, but it kept on ringing again and again. With a deep sigh you picked up without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello,” you croaked, your voice hoarse from crying.
“Y/N where the hell are you?!” Ana almost shouted.
Confused you started at the phone. “What?”
“Where are you?” Ana repeated a little slower, “I know you aren’t at home because the lovely Jessica told me as much and after doing some inquires I also know you aren’t with any of your teammates, so where are you?”
All of this could only mean one thing, Ana was in London and you really weren’t prepared to give up your plan of wallowing in misery to face her.
“I’m at a hotel. Happy? Now go and see Lia, I think she could use a friend,“ you replied, praying that this was enough to satisfy Ana.
You should have known that it wasn’t and you also should have known that your friend would figure out the only way to get you to tell her your location.
“You better tell me right now where you are or I’m calling Lia and tell her that you’re hiding out all alone in a hotel,” Ana threatened.
“Ugh fine,” you huffed angrily, letting her know what hotel you were staying at and your room number. Then you hung up the phone without as much as saying goodbye. If Ana was going to be like this, you sure as hell weren’t going to be polite.
You used the time you had until Ana’s arrival to make yourself look a little more presentable. It only worked semi-decently and the traces of your most recent breakdown were still very much visible on your face when you heard the dreaded knock.
“Oh Spatz,” Ana sighed when she laid eyes on you, guiding you carefully over to the bed and basically pulling you into her lap.
To your great annoyance the tears took this as an invitation to start falling again right away, and it took a good while for them to stop.
“Y/N what are you doing?” Ana asked you gently once you had calmed down.
You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m doing my best to give Lia the time she needs,” you explained.
Ana tilted her head to the side, studying you intently. “Time for what exactly?”
“To get over my stupid behavior, to figure out if she still wants to be with someone as horrible as me, to heal all the parts of her heart that I’ve hurt. Take your pick,” you replied, the anger for yourself making your voice harsh, almost hateful.
“Oh Spatz,” Ana said once again, reaching over to tuck a strand of her behind your ear. “You’re being way too hard on yourself, just because you didn’t handle everything perfectly and made some mistakes along the way doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person”
“And I can tell you that that’s not what Lia is thinking at all. She didn’t propose this time apart because she needs to figure things out. She knows exactly what she wants, she has known for years. You on the other hand just got out of very long term relationship. Lia wants you to take enough time to deal with that and process your feelings before you jump into something new. She’s waiting for you to be ready and at this rate you’re never going to be. You can’t just ignore everything, Y/N!”
It took a lot more reassuring on Ana’s part until you could even begin to believe her. Thankfully your friend was very patient and kept telling you the same things over and over again until a small seed of hope was planted inside of you.
She didn’t leave it at that though, Ana also helped you make a list of things you could do over the next few weeks to help you process everything. Journaling was on the top of the list, as ws eating regular meals and not spending too much time in bed. Furthermore you vowed to contact Jessica and figure out how to proceed with your shared apartment, and on Ana’s insistence you promised to talk to your teammates more and spend time with them instead of holing up by yourself all the time.
You actually followed this list meticulously, and made sure to give Ana regular updates. Especially once you got the sneaking suspicion that she in turn informed Lia how you were doing because the midfielder looked more and more relaxed every day. The first time she smiled at you again your heart skipped a beat and you felt like a lovesick teenager. Then slowly Lia stopped keeping her distance, you still didn’t talk just the two of you but being part of the same group conversation became a regular occurrence.
After about three weeks you gathered all your courage and decided to ask Lia if she wanted to have coffee. It was a weird feeling that something that used to be the most mundane thing ever made you want to jump out of your skin. Doubts were flying around your mind as you walked towards Lia. The big smile that appeared on her face as she saw you definitely helped to make you feel a little calmer.
“Do you want to get coffee?“ You blurted out, mentally face palming at your lack of eloquence.
Lia chuckled, finding exactly this awkwardness endearing. „Yeah, I’d love to,“ she replied to your relief.
After training you met up at a coffee shop you had gone to a million times in the past, but this time felt entirely different, you might as well have been on another planet.
Once the two of you had found some seats and ordered your beverages, Lia looked at you expectantly. You had this all planned out, but now your mind was completely blank and you couldn’t think of a single thing you wanted to say.
Dejected you buried your face in your hands. “Man I’m so bad at this. Sorry, Lia!” You moaned.
Lia gently tugged your finger away from your face, holding on a little longer than necessary. “This isn’t a test, Y/N, just start with why you asked me out for coffee and then we’ll go from there. I don’t expect a perfectly rehearsed speech.”
You did expect that from yourself though because you knew Lia would have been able to deliver one. Sadly you were once again a disappointment to yourself, so there was nothing else to do than follow Lia’s advice.
“I guess the main reason is that I missed you. So much that it’s sometimes difficult to breath and if there’s one thing I know for sure by now it’s that I can’t imagine a future that you’re not part of. I can’t believe how stupid I was not to realize that ages ago.”
At this Lia huffed unhappily, she didn’t like the way you put yourself down at all. Despite this she didn’t interject, she didn’t want to stop your flow of words, knowing how hard it would be for you to get back into the mindset of sharing so freely, even with her.
“So often I was happy to get out of the apartment Jessica and I shared to spend time with you. When something good happened or well I guess also something bad you were always the first person I wanted to share it with. Nothing makes me happier than to see you happy and when you smile at me my entire world lights up. I can’t believe that I didn’t realize that you’ve been more than my best friend for the longest time.”
“And I know three weeks probably doesn’t seem like enough time to get over such a long relationship, but the truth is I’ve been finished with that relationship for a long time, and I think so has Jessica. We just stayed together out of habit. And don’t get me wrong, there’s still some things I need to do, like have a long and honest conversation with her, but I really want you back in my life. I completely understand though if you’re not ready. That’s totally valid of course…”
You would have continued to ramble if Lia hadn’t stopped you by gently pressing a finger to your lips, her eyes shining with love and warmth.
“I think we’re ready for that too. Not start a relationship right away, I need more time before that and I think you do too, but just things like this. Spend time together, hang out, slowly figure out together how our new normal is going to look like. Does that sound okay?”
“That sounds absolutely perfect,” you responded.
Not too long ago you had lain in a hotel bed in Switzerland scared because things between you and Lia would never be the same again, now you were filled to the brim with happiness and hope because things would never be the same again. Just the thought of how your relationship with Lia was going to look like made you feel excited. It was everything you’d never dared to dream of.
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thepersonnamedsam · 11 months
Note
you already know how much I love gen z driver! could you maybe write something of how would it be if gen z reader’s birthday happened to be during one of the gp’s? how everyone acts and makes it all about her?
happy birthday!
pairing: the genz!driver x '23!grid
summary: it’s the genz!drivers birthday, and it just happens to be the miami gp!
word count: 1.7k
warnings: some swear words and some google translated spanish and dutch :)
note: oh i just love all of your request, especially that one, bc i’m a birthday lover myself! have fun reading it and feel free to request more!! <3
masterlist/ taglist
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The first people to congratulate her, were her parents. They called her, in the middle of the night; they forgot that time zones exist. But her heart was full when she picked up the phone at 3AM and both of her parents where singing ‚happy birthday‘ to her. What wasn’t so good, was that she had to be asleep, because it was a Sunday and race day! But it didn’t matter, it was her birthday!
Two hours later, her phone was ringing again, but this time not because someone was wishing her a happy birthday, no, it was her alarm. But today it was okay. 5AM on your birthday doesn’t feel that early, does it now? At least it didn’t for her.
Andy, her personal trainer, knocked on her door at exactly 6.30AM, holding a tiny cupcake with a candle in it. „Happy birthday, y/n!“, his voice cheerful and happy. Her smiled widened and her heart full with love again. „Thank you, Andy.“
„Are you ready for the race?“, Andy asked her. She nodded and closed her hotel door. „I’m excited to see Danny again and Nando and all the other people of course. Oh and definitely Lewis.“, Birthdays were her thing, she always missed them in school, either she had them on a weekend or she was on holiday. So, being surrounded by people who are important to her, was the best present she could’ve gotten.
On the way to the paddock, Andy let her pick out the music, her car playlist was blasting on full volume. Tongue Tied by GROUPLOVE was her favourite song at the moment, that’s why she was singing at the top of her lungs to the lyrics.
„Take me to your best friends house, go around this roundabout, oh yeah“, she looked at Andy as if he would follow the orders of the song.
The music died down, as they arrived at the paddock. Press was already waiting on her, they knew it was her special day and hoped to get some good footage of the birthday-girl. Usually the media annoyed her this early in the morning, but today, nothing could’ve ruined her day. She smiled and waved to the camera, spoke to some press people and had nice conversations with all of them.
The media always tried to find some gossip, especially on the young driver, but not today. They were happy to see her this happy.
As she set foot on the paddock, people were congratulating her. Pads on the back, some strokes on her arm here and there, everyone was nice to her, and who doesn’t enjoy some attention sometimes. Especially if it’s for something you didn’t work for. It was her favourite day of the year, Christmas is second.
„Danny!“, she shrieked as soon as she saw him. She sprinted towards the Australian and jumped into his arms. „I missed you so bad!“ Daniel just laughed and hugged the young driver. „Happy birthday, y/n.“
Her smile was consistent and contagious, every person she smiled at, they just had to smile back. Even Max smiled at her. Well, he always smiled at her, she was one of the persons that could make him smile.
„Max, can you give me a piggyback ride?“, she looked at him with puppy dog eyes and he just couldn’t deny her. „Of course, zus sister.“
As Martin Brundle spotted the two, he motioned to his cameraman to put the focus on them. „And now we see Max Verstappen carrying the birthday girl y/n. It is not rare to see the young driver interact with the different drivers. Let’s wish her a happy birthday“, he talked into the camera. „Hello you two, happy birthday y/n, am I the first to congratulate?“, the older man looked at her with an amusing look on his face. „Martin, as much as I love you, you are hopefully not the first person to wish me a happy birthday“, she looked at him with a serious face.
„Did Max congratulate yet?“, a challenging look on Martins face, he pointed at the camera and said: „Remember, this is a livestream.“, Max‘ cheeks turned a pretty pink colour and y/n gasped. „He did not!“, she gasped. „Max, you didn’t wish me a happy birthday?!“ - „I’m sorry, schat darling. Happy birthday, my dear.“
But how could she hold a grudge against a face that looked like Sid from Ice Age?
Fernando was the next person she saw, and he instantly grinned at her. „Oh Nando, do you know whose special day it is today?“, she singsang to the oldest driver on the grid. „Hmm, let me guess, is it Roscoes?“, he laughed as he saw her shocked face. „How could you, I thought we were friends?“ - „We are, we are, cariño darling. Feliz cumpleaños happy birthday, y/n.“
„How old are you now, 5?“, he laughed at her. „Har har, very funny Nando. How old are you turning this year, 60?“ She was always getting irritated fast. He grabbed her by her hip and pushed her into a side hug of his. „Don’t ever change, cariño.“
„Don’t have a plan for that, who’d change something as fabulous like this“, her hands were pointing to herself. „But on a serious note, Nando, do you know where Lewis is? I’ve been searching for him.“ Fernando only shook his head, he didn’t know where the British driver was. He rubbed over her hair as she left his side to search for her mentor.
„Oh Lewis! Your favourite person is looking for you“, she shouted over the paddock, with no luck. She didn’t even see a trace of Lew, none. But what she did find, was a monegasque driver with the number 16 and a spaniard driving under the number 55. They were arguing over some bullshit, as always, as they spotted her. „y/n! Over here“, Charles shouted over to her and waved his hand. She ran over to them and greeted the older drivers with a side hug. Carlos quickly kissed her head as he wished her a brilliant birthday. Charles even sang the first to lines of the song.
She was a bit embarrassed, but she enjoyed the attention of the two Ferrari drivers. „I love you guys, but have you seen Lewis?“, she smiled at the two as they rolled their eyes. She just wanted to see her favourite person on the paddock. She loved them all equally, but you couldn’t deny that Lewis definitely was her favourite. „I think I saw him at Mercedes, his motorhome“, Charles told her, she totally missed the sarcastic undertone of his and just skipped along to the Mercedes garage.
Before she even set a foot in the motorhome, Toto Wolff approached her and squished her into a hug. „Alles gute zum Geburtstag, liebes! Happy birthday, darling! How are you, so happy to see you“, he whispered into her ear. She loved Toto. „Hi Toto!“, she grinned up at him, „I’m good, thank you. Do you know where Lewis is?“ Toto laughed and pointed to his drivers room. „Thanks!“, she yelled as she took off.
She hasn’t been to her own motorhome, just wandering around the paddock and taking in all the attention from the others. And as she knocked on the door, she knew she’d receive the best attention of them all.
„It’s open“, she heard and busted into the tiny room. „Hello, your favourite human on this planet has arrived and will be gracing your presence from now on!“ She grinned at him and he only laughed and embraced the girl. „I have a present for the birthday girl? do you know where she is“, he joked and turned around to grab her present. „A present? Aw Lewis, you shouldn’t have, you totally should have.“
The present contained some gag gifts, such as a Mercedes hat and shirt, or some shirts with funny pattern on it. But the original present was a necklace. It wasn’t anything special, really. It was a simple silver necklace with a tiny turtle as a pendant. Her eyes were tearing up, so she quickly wiped them away.
„Is this one of the necklaces that makes you a godparent of a sea turtle?“ - „It sure is, have fun with“ he turned the pendant around and looked at the engraving on it „Yertle. He is now your godchild“, he smiled at her and motioned to y/n to turn around, so he could put the necklace on. „Thank you so much, it means a lot“, she hugged him as a thank you. He smiled at her, he adored the young driver and was grateful that he was apart of her journey.
„Thank you, love you Lewis!“, she yelled to him as she sprinted out of the motorhome. She was finally headed to her own garage. They had planned a surprise party for her and Lewis was the distraction. As she reached her motorhome, she didn’t see anyone. „Hello, is it not race day?“, she joked into the dark.
„Happy birthday, y/n!“
She jumped, her heart was racing, but she had a giant smile on her face. Her heart, once again, was full, full with love.
„Ahh, thank you guys!“, she squealed and sprinted into the engineers and mechanics, just like she won a race, which she hasn’t, by the way. She hugged all of them, thanked all and smiled the biggest smile she ever smiled. „I’m so grateful for all of you! And now, let’s win this race!“
She didn’t win, but was one of her best birthdays so far. And the after party was her personal highlight of the day. There was a huge pile of presents, just for her of course.
Lando was the DJ, Max was standing on a table, preparing to do a toast for her and Danny was laughing and pointing his camera at everybody.
The evening was definitely something she’d remember, maybe not Max‘ toast, as it was very embarrassing;
„Dear people, we have gathered here to celebrate not only my win, but also a birthday of some special person. She is not our girlfriend, which we are all happy about, but they’re all jealous of her, y/n! Happy birthday, you beast, come up here!“
The alcohol definitely made it more bearable, but the fact that Pierre had to drag you to Mac spoke for itself.
„Pierre, let me be, go back to your boyfriend“, she spoke harshly to the French man, but he ignored her with a smirk on his face and brought her up to Max.
„Ladys and gents, the birthday girl herself!“
It was one of the better party’s she attended and when she looked at all the posts she’s been tagged, she found one particular that she liked the most.
daniel3.jpg
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Liked by yninsta, charles_leclerc and 473’827 others
daniel3.jpg happy birthday to my personal favourite female driver of all time! let’s raise a glass or two, to all the things i’ve lost on you ;)
View all 4638 comments
yninsta i am the only female driver…
landonorris that’s why your his fav
yninsta rude af
daniel3.jpg don’t fight kids
charles_leclerc happy birthday y/n!
carlossainz55 yeah, feliz compleaños to our fav girl
pierregasly liked by pierre gasly
f1girly we love all the drivers in the comments, y/n is definitely the paddock princess
likedbypear oh yes, idk if i want to be her or with her
yninsta be definitely with me, c’mon
neymarjr happy birthday y/n!
°°°
taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @missskid , @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21
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feeder86 · 2 months
Text
Selfish
“Why are you arranging to go out with the boys? You know we’re going up to help my parents with redecorating this weekend!” Lucy complained, standing straight up and looking down at Ryan, laid out on the couch.
“We’re doing what?” Ryan asked, completely perplexed. “We were there last weekend!”
“Yeah, and I told my dad you’d give him a hand with the wallpapering this next weekend as well,” Lucy continued in her whining tone.
“Their entire lounge?” Ryan shot back. “Nobody told me!”
“Well…” Lucy mumbled, suddenly realising that Ryan was right. “I’m telling you now.”
Ryan huffed in frustration. He hadn’t had a night out with the boys in months. He’d thought, when he married Lucy, that he was setting himself up for a good life. She didn’t want kids, she wasn’t crazy about him visiting the gym all the time and she was a fully qualified chef! However, two years in and Ryan had never had so little time for himself, endlessly fixing up their apartment just as Lucy wanted it, then constantly heading out to see her parents; always being signed up for some tedious maintenance tasks now that Lucy’s dad was getting on a bit and living off his retirement income. “Fine,” he sighed, deleting his planned message to the group chat with the boys. “I guess I can see my friends when I’ve got a couple of weeks off next month.”
“Oh, yes!” Lucy nodded, making Ryan instantly regret reminding her about his time off. The cogs in her head clearly rolling into action, imagining all of the jobs he could get done in that time.
“Ryan!” cheered his buddies a full nine weeks later, amazed that he had actually made it out. “We haven’t seen you in ages!”
“I’m only here for one of two drinks. I dropped Lucy off in town to do some shopping,” he explained to them, not wanting to get their hopes up.
“You’re not coming to the club?” Adam asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise after giving him the biggest hug.
“No… no. I wish I could, but…” he grumbled, considering the best way to explain how much Lucy was monopolising his time; how frustrating and demanding she had become since they got married. . “...I’ve got commitments,” he simply stated, deciding not to poison his time with his friends by complaining about the person who had kept him away from them for so long. 
“Don’t worry about it, buddy,” Jack jumped in, filling the silent void that was killing the mood. “Life happens.”
“Jack!” Ryan exclaimed, seeing his high school best friend and doing a slight double take. The guy had altered quite a bit since Ryan last saw him. Where had that double chin come from? How was he filling that shirt with all that padding in his stomach? What the hell had happened? “How long has it been, buddy?”
“I saw you at Ginny and Fran’s house warming, about four months ago,” he answered. ��I introduced you to my new girlfriend, Michelle.”
“Oh, yeah,” I remember, Ryan nodded, thinking back to how drunk Lucy had been that night, and how early they had had to leave. But Jack hadn’t looked so overweight back then. They’d tried out their friends’ new swimming pool. Jack had been one of the first ones in. He definitely wasn’t out of shape. Not like he appeared to be now.
As luck would have it, when the guys all went to grab seats, Ryan ended up next to Jack, right on the end of a long, rectangular table. Back in their high school days, the pair of them had been the best of friends, and that old rapport immediately came back every time they met; even after months of separation. Jack had always been the bad influence that Ryan’s parents had never approved of. He’d been banned from hanging out with the guy on multiple occasions when he was growing up and, even now, he still felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t, giggling away at the crude jokes that tumbled out of Jack’s mouth with ease. 
“So, things are going well with Michelle?” Ryan asked, spotting that Jack had already referenced her several times in their conversation.
“Things are going great!” Jack beamed. He leaned in a little closer, clearly not wanting the other guys to hear. “We’ve even talked about getting married!”
At this, Ryan’s eyebrows flew up. “Married? After four months?” he whispered back, knowing that Jack didn’t want this broadcasting. He remembered how promiscuous his friend had been during his college days. If Ryan had been asked to pick any one of the guys here who was least likely to ever settle down, he would have chosen Jack without a second thought.
“I know!” Jack beamed, leaning back and placing his hands on the top of his stout little paunch, which jutted out into a proper shelf as they sat down. “I’m so ready for it though,” he smiled, seeming to rub his stomach mindlessly. “I’m actually really excited about the idea.”
Round and round Jack’s hands went, rubbing that tight ball of stomach fat, pulling Ryan’s gaze into it. “I’m happy for you,” he mumbled back.
Jack looked around, checking that no one else was listening in, then he turned himself a little more into Ryan, about to divulge even more private information. “Michelle’s super kinky!” he whispered.
Ryan chuckled and leaned in as well. His own sex life was so monotonous these days, he was actually quite ready to hear about someone else having a good time. “Oh yeah? She certainly looked pretty flexible when I met her that one time,” he grinned, settling into dirty ‘guy talk’ with enthusiasm.
“Oh, buddy!” Jack sighed, rolling his eyes and giving a huge exhale. “You would not believe it. She has me wrapped around her little finger. Absolutely anything she wants, I do for her.”
“That doesn’t sound too dissimilar to me and Lucy,” Ryan quipped, chuckling at his own joke.
“No, I’m not talking about boring shit, like decorating,” Jack shot back, having heard all about Ryan’s grumblings. “I’m talking about really kinky, submissive stuff.”
“Really?” Ryan smirked. “I never thought she’d be the dominant type.”
“No,” Jack agreed enthusiastically. “No one else knows. She hides it really well.”
Ryan had to admit that he was getting a little turned on. “So, what type of stuff does she make you do?” he asked next; his eyes twinkling with boyish interest, just as much as Jack’s were.
“All sorts,” Jack answered, his hands slipping onto his gut again. “When we started going out, I was still trying to act like the playboy I used to be. Michelle was having none of it. She’s put guys like me in their place before. Trust me, I’ve seen the pictures!” he smirked.”But her biggest turn on is making sure I overeat and get bigger.”
“Seriously?” Ryan asked, now understanding why Jack kept on holding his stomach. “I thought girls hated it when guys put on weight?”
“It’s an absolute fucking dream!” Jack replied, lowering his voice even further. Just the fact that he had sworn showed Ryan how turned on his friend was, simply by talking about it. “I get home and she’ll sit me in my gaming chair and set everything up for me. Then she brings me endless snacks and beers; a few sodas, cream cakes. Michelle won’t even let me get up. I do nothing around my apartment at all! No washing, no cleaning and certainly no cooking! She gets off on controlling my entire lifestyle when I’m at home. Then rewarding me for it.”
“Dude, that’s amazing!” Ryan had to agree, feeling surprisingly jealous. He’d been up until almost midnight last night, fixing a new shelf for Lucy’s candles, whilst his buddy Jack had been gaming, eating and getting pleasured the entire time.
“You see why I’m so keen to marry her now?” Jack joked back. “Can you believe it? I’m actually living out our dream that we used to talk about in high school.”
Ryan looked a little perplexed, trying to remember what they used to talk about ten years ago.
In turn, Jack seemed a little surprised that Ryan was struggling to recall. “You remember? Mr Hanson was such a bad gym teacher, we used to joke that we would just find some girls who liked fat guys and never have to put on a pair of itchy gym shorts again.”
“Oh, yeah!” Ryan chuckled. “That worked out well for me,” he sighed sarcastically. “I ended up marrying a professional chef, but I’m now ten pounds lighter than I was when we married.”
“Dude, there are other girls out there,” Jack went on enthusiastically. “Believe me! My eyes have been opened in these last few months! If you want the life that I’ve got…” he proclaimed, rubbing his stomach once more, “trust me, you can have it!”
Ryan nodded. No one else had dared to suggest he thought about a life beyond Lucy. Whenever he raised his concerns or annoyances about their marriage, people were keen to stamp them out, reminding him, in their accusatory tones, that marriage was all about compromising. Now, here was Jack, actively encouraging him to imagine being with someone else instead. It was the reason why Jack was, and always would be, Ryan’s very best friend.
Ryan looked at himself in the mirror a couple of weeks later. It was Sunday night. He should have been well rested, and yet he looked nothing but tired. The dirt under his fingernails from digging up Lucy’s parents’ garden all weekend was still visible in places, despite scrubbing for so long in the shower. His ribs were showing in his chest and, although he was built with plenty of muscle, he’d never looked so lanky and slim in his life. He thought of Jack and his life of pleasure and luxury. This… this tiredness and exhaustion was not what he wanted for himself. He looked almost ill.
Life had to change.
Ryan raised his cell phone to the mirror and took a picture of himself. This would be his lowest point, he decided with determination. From now on, things were going to change. He never wanted to see himself like this ever again.
“What’s all this?” Lucy complained, slipping into Ryan’s truck on their way to the supermarket. She held up several pieces of packaging, wrappers from fast food places and sugary snacks. “Is this what you’ve been eating when you’ve been in work this week?”
Ryan nodded without shame. “I feel like I’m too skinny. I’m trying to put on a few pounds.”
“Since when?” Lucy blasted back indignantly. “I’ve never told you you’re too skinny. I like the way you look.”
“I don’t,” Ryan shrugged. “I’ve never liked being skinny. I was always bigger than this growing up. In fact, I was actually quite chubby when I started high school.”
“Well, no. Sorry,” Lucy stated, without compromise. “I’m your wife, and I say no.”
Ryan looked at her in disbelief. “It’s my body,” he declared. “And I want to feel good about it.”
“I said no!” Lucy spat, brushing all the packaging into the footwell and sitting herself down. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”
Ryan got in, sat down and slammed the door shut, neither of them speaking for the entire ride.
‘Fastest ways to gain weight’ Ryan typed into the internet search that evening after Lucy had gone to bed. He quickly skipped through anything that dealt with muscle gains and focused solely on those that promoted increases in fat. He may have married Lucy, but she didn’t own him. In fact, she was the one who needed to learn that more than anyone. This was one ‘no’ that he wasn’t about to cave into.
“You’re looking well,” cried Ryan’s aunt as he stopped over to fix her leaking tap.
“Thanks,” he smiled back. “I feel quite well,” he agreed. “I’ve been trying to put some weight back on these last few weeks. I was starting to get far too skinny.”
“I was saying that to your mom, but she didn’t agree with me. You had gone dreadfully skinny.”
Ryan nodded in agreement. He had always been much more on his aunt’s wavelength than anyone else in his family. “I found some recipes online and I buy in these little calorie shakes that seem to work well on me. I’ve put on about 20lbs altogether,” he explained, raising his shirt briefly to show that his stomach was indeed a little thicker. “Lucy isn’t too pleased about it. But she’s never happy these days.”
“Well, you were never skinny growing up, were you?” his aunt nodded. “You always had a sweet tooth, I remember. You used to eat me out of house and home when you came over!”
“That’s why I’m so tall,” Ryan laughed. “I was always so well fed growing up.”
The pair of them laughed and Ryan packed up his things. In the old days, he would have headed straight home to his wife, but now he was feeling the need to be much more selfish, heading istead to the fast food place he had grown quite attached to and determined that he would at last defeat the Mega Monster Meal that had, up until now, eluded him.
“Come on, we’ve got to go!” Lucy complained, checking the time as Ryan rushed about after his shower. He’d been late home, getting caught up at a job, sending his wife into a tailspin as she tried to get him ready for her friend’s engagement party. She’d laid his suit out on the bed, his underwear, shoes and socks; knowing exactly how she wanted him to look.
Ryan hated being rushed. So what if they missed the first twenty minutes? Was the world really going to end? It was the side of Lucy he hated most, struggling to pull his socks on as his feet were still so wet.
“Oh,” Ryan mumbled, sucking in his stomach and trying to button up the suit pants. He tugged and pulled, holding his breath as much as he could. “I’m too big for them!” he chuckled with amusement, remembering that he had bought the suit for a wedding less than a year ago, when he was much skinnier. “What a waste of money, these were!” he joked lightheartedly. “I only got to wear them once!”
Lucy stared on in horror. She’d told him again and again to cut down on his eating. Couldn’t he see how bad he looked? Wasn’t he ashamed of how his stomach was starting to develop into a little paunch.
“Relax,” he whispered back, trying to calm her down. “I’ll just pair the jacket with my jeans and then we can head straight out.”
However, Lucy’s face had flushed with anger. “No,” she declared, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m going by myself. I’m not being seen with you, looking like this.”
Ryan stared at her in disbelief. He didn’t have words, listening as she stormed down the stairs and threw the front door closed. He heard her car start and he peeked out the window as that too stormed off down the street; out of view. 
Breathing out a sigh of relief, Ryan threw himself down onto the bed; still dressed only in his underwear and socks. How had he married someone so fucking unreasonable? She was just so… 
But then a thought came to Ryan, making his brain tingle into life. Had he actually just been given the night to himself? The whole house? Just him? All evening?
He looked down at his thicker stomach and smiled with delight at it. “Thank you!” he laughed aloud, managing to pinch a little and jiggle it in happiness. He felt a twitch in his groin, realising that with the night to himself, he could watch porn or do anything that he wanted. He could order food in. Lots of it! “Yes!”, he nodded, getting more excited and turned on now. This was his night. Free reign to be as selfish as he liked.
Ryan proceeded to indulge himself in every way possible, looking down at his bloated stomach a couple of hours later. Maybe this was it, he thought to himself. Maybe this was the way out of his miserable life with Lucy. He could seize upon her dislike of his weight gain and run with it. Why stop? He’d certainly gone beyond the point of denying himself for the sake of her ideals. There was a path in front of him, the exit sign shining brightly and a new life within his reach. He just needed to have the courage to reach for it.
“A Saturday night to yourself?” Jack laughed, surprised that Ryan had actually followed up on his promises and made it out for a drink. “You must have been a very good boy!” he teased.
Ryan hugged his friend and stood back to admire him slightly. Jack had grown wider since he’d seen him last, his hips and love handles spreading. Teh guy’s face was bigger, cheeks blooming large. And underneath his t-shirt, Ryan could see that the man’s nipples had become pointed, pressing outwards from his puffy former pecs. “I can see that you’ve been having a very good time of things!” he joked, being in the know about how Jack’s kinky sex life worked with his girlfriend.
“I could say the same about you!” Jack smirked back, poking Ryan in his tight little paunch. “Have you and Lucy been having your own kinky fun?” he teased.
“We’re not really talking at the moment, dude,” Ryan explained straight away; keen that he didn’t have to spend the entire night talking about her. “I want out. I’ve reached the end.”
Jack winced sympathetically. “I can’t say that I’m all that surprised after the way you were talking last time. But that still doesn’t explain this,” he pointed back at Ryan’s middle, smirking.
Ryan laughed, having forgottem how quickly Jack could lift his spirits with his cheeky humour. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied coyly, smiling with just as much mischief.
“Yes you do!” Jack laughed back, patting Ryan’s paunch properly now. “Did you do it on purpose? Is this to piss Lucy off?”
Again, Ryan laughed. He shruged his shoulders. “Yeah,” he nodded in surprise at Jack’s bluntness. There wasn’t anyone else in the world he could imagine himself admitting this to. “I guess I did,” he smiled, resting his hand over his thicker middle like it was his new prized pet.
“Dude, that’s so awesome!” Jack blasted; his face lighting up with all the enthusiasm Ryan remembered when the pair of them used to get up to mischief in high school. “You love it, don’t you?”
Ryan felt like he was dealing with an excitable puppy, but the interest was infectious. “Well, I can’t say I’m against it,” he replied diplomatically.
“Michelle is going to love this when I tell her,” Jack pressed on, ordering them both a couple of beers. “She said at the pool party that you would make a good fatty.”
“She did?” Ryan asked, surprised that Michelle would talk about other guys in that way.
“Absolutely,” Jack nodded. “She said you’re like me; a similar build; perfect for fattening up, apparently.”
“She really is a kinky one, your Michelle, isn’t she?” Ryan chuckled, feeling strangely aroused by the idea of her talking about him like this.
“How far are you planning on taking it?” Jack pressed him.
“The weight gain? Um, well. I’m not really thinking about anything really. I’m just having some fun,” he answered honestly.
“Dude, if you’re ever going to grow a gut in your lifetime, getting a divorce is one of them.”
“Oh, yeah?” Ryan asked, only half listening now as he tried to work out why there was so much blood pumping into his groin.
“A divorce is like a free pass for so many things. No one will bat an eyelid if you start getting properly fat once you two separate.”
“Well, we’re not quite there yet,” Ryan backtracked, wincing slightly as the word ‘divorce’ came up so casually in their conversation. Lucy hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, and neither had he to her. 
“Just imagine it though,” Jack encouraged him. “You, sitting in your own apartment somewhere, drinking as much beer and eating as much pizza as you want after work. No Lucy complaining in the background and telling you off. No massive list of jobs to be completed at the weekend.”
“That does sound pretty sweet,” Ryan admitted; his dick now inexplicably full of blood.
“I just can’t wait to tell Michelle,” Jack said again, more delighted than ever as the pair of them settled in to watch the football game on the big screen.
The realities of splitting from his wife were somewhat different from the fantasies that Jack tried to portray, Ryan soon realised. Divorce was quickly turning into the most expensive thing he had ever done. Lucy’s parents, who had been too impoverished to hire a gardener, or a decorator, or a maintenance guy the entire time he had been married to Lucy, suddenly stumped up the cash to pay for the most cut-throat, killer lawyer for their daughter. With his head in his hands, Ryan soon realised that he was going to have to start from scratch: no home, no pensions, not even his truck for work. The only place that he could afford to live was a room in an apartment downtown, sharing with two students from the local college. Twenty nine years old and here he was, right back at the starting line.
Of the two guys he now lived with, Ryan didn’t see much of Paul, the computer science major. He was often out in the library, or hiding out in his bedroom. That worked fine. With his life turned so upside down, Ryan wasn’t exactly wanting to be dragged out to parties midweek when he had work the next morning. No, the only real pain in Ryan’s ass was Ash; the smart-mouthed literature student with a carefree attitude to life that frustrated Ryan to no end.
“You know, when you get a real job, you’re not going to be able to sit up until 3am watching a movie marathon with your waste of space boyfriend,” he complained at the guy one evening, tired from an exhausting day in work, having been constantly woken by the pair of young lovers laughing so hard at the screen.
“Fine. Whatever,” Ash huffed. “I’ve had a stressful day, okay. I don’t need this.”
“Stressful?” Ryan parroted, feeling the rage bubbling up inside him. “You want to know about stress?” he growled. “You’ve been sitting inside all day typing up an assignment on a computer screen. That’s not what real stress looks like. You’re in college - you have absolutely no idea about the real world; about trying to actually earn a living!”
Ash rolled his eyes. He’d heard it all before. 
Sure, Lucy knew how to press Ryan’s buttons, but this boy was on a whole other level. “You graduate with your masters in nine months!” he blasted. “What the hell do you expect to do then? You’ve got no idea, have you? How can you just wander so aimlessly through life?”
“What does it matter?” Ash sighed. “Things always work out in the end.”
“It matters because, trust me, your twenties will be over in a flash and you need to start getting somewhere in life. Not just watching movies until 3am! And certainly not with someone like Ben! You’re just setting yourself up for failure, and it pisses me off!”
“Like you, you mean?” Ash shot back, visibly annoyed. “You’ve done the whole marriage thing, the house, the cars. Yet, you're back here, sharing a shitty apartment with a couple of students. You did everything right, everything the grown-ups told you, and now look at you! Sometimes life is just like that. So stop taking out your frustrations on me and start focusing on yourself instead!”
Ryan didn’t respond. He stormed off to his room and threw himself onto the bed. Then he took a few breaths and considered what Ash had actually said to him. The guy had been right: he was taking his anger out on him. Ash was young, more academically bright than Ryan had ever been, good looking and full of personality. He had his whole life in front of him without any major mistakes under his belt yet. So why did Ryan feel the need to be such an asshole to him?
Despite not officially apologising, Ryan did make an effort to be nicer to Ash over the coming days. He still didn’t care for Ben, the guy's boyfriend, feeling that Ash could do much better. But he was polite and courteous, never failing to put in his earplugs when he knew they were going to be watching TV until late.
Ryan’s weight had not been a priority for him since he’d moved in. Any erotic fantasies he’d indulged himself in last year were thoroughly dampened by the divorce. Yet, his weight continued to climb, spurred on by the cheap, high carbohydrate diet he fell into whilst living in the apartment.
When he was with Lucy, Ryan had indulged himself in sugary treats and even high calorie supplements that he would now consider an eyewatering drain on his monthly budget. He was having to to work harder than ever to bring in the money and his paunch seemed to lose that fluffy softness of his early gains, solidifying into something firmer and more rounded as it continued to push itself out from under his chest.
New clothes were also a luxury that Ryan could ill-afford. His t-shirts fitted awkwardly around the swell of his stomach and there were many times in work when he felt a cool breeze on his butt crack. Beer was the only luxury he allowed himself in those early days, especially on the weekends, when Paul usually went back to visit his family and Ash was generally out partying with his boyfriend. In those few, blissful hours, he could guzzle down his beers whilst sitting in his underwear in front of the shared TV screen, appreciating exactly why he had given up his marriage. Life was hard, but it wasn’t always awful.
Through word of mouth, Ryan had started picking up more work on some of the other rental properties for students that littered this area of town. Desperate for the work, Ryan had been undercutting people quite dramatically in order to guarantee an income for himself. However, trying to get an early start on these types of properties was never as easy. Students were inherently lazy, he decided, whilst banging on the door of one apartment, trying to get someone to let him in. After a full five minutes, a groggy looking guy crawled to the door wearing only his underwear and a t-shirt that was back to front.
“Your landlord sent me to see your air con,” Ryan eventually explained.
Without a word, the exhausted guy simply opened the door further and let Ryan get by. “You’re not going to be noisy are you?” he eventually asked. “My boyfriend is still asleep.”
Ryan looked at his watch. It was almost 10.30 in the morning. Why would anyone still be asleep now?
“It’s okay. I’m getting up anyway,” yawned another guy, waddling sleepily from the bedroom and giving his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. It was only then that Ryan clocked him. It was Ben, Ash’s obviously cheating boyfriend; the guy’s face suddenly looking considerably more alert as he too recognised Ryan.
“You’re not going to tell Ash, are you?” Ben shouted, having followed Ryan out of the apartment the second he had finished up; safely out of earshot of his second boyfriend.
“Of course I am,” Ryan replied simply, continuing to walk away, without stopping.
“You’re just going to make him miserable,” the guy shot back. “Is that what you want?”
At this, Ryan laughed. Guilty people always seemed to have such a terrific way of turning things back around on the other person. “Trust me,” he sniggered. “He’ll be way better off without someone like you in his life.”
“Do you think it was easy for me with Ash?” Ben started next; his tone shifting to something nastier. “It’s not exactly easy trying to feel special when your boyfriend has a massive crush on the pot-bellied daddy bear he shares an apartment with. How do you think that made me feel?”
“What are you even talking about?” Ryan laughed, surprised at how far Ben was going with his bullshit. A daddy bear? He was only six years older than Ash.
“Oh, come on. You know exactly what you’re doing,” Ben snapped back, getting more viscious as he realised that Ryan wasn’t willing to compromise with him. “You’re always there, or strutting about in just your underwear, drinking your beers in the living area and being overly friendly. You’ve been trying to fuck things up for the two of us for ages.”
Now Ryan did stop, turning to face Ben properly. “What planet are you living on?” he asked, completely flabbergasted. “I just try to be pleasant. I’m not trying to do anything.”
“Prove it then,” Ben shot back, seizing upon an opportunity. “If you’re really not trying to fuck things up between us, you’ll let this one little indiscretion slide.”
If Ryan hadn’t just had the hardest year of his life, dealing with some of the most despicable, bullying lawyers out there, he may have fallen for Ben’s game. As it was, he wasn’t afraid of standing his ground. “Tell him by the time I get home later. Or I will.”
Ryan crept into the apartment later that evening, finding Paul in the kitchen. “You missed some drama today,” he sighed. “Ash and Ben broke up. I walked in on it all before. It was so awkward.”
“Is Ash okay?” Ryan asked, relieved that Ben had listened to his ultimatum and done the deed himself.
“He’s in his room,” Paul nodded over to the bedroom door. “We’d best leave him be.”
Ryan nodded in complete agreement, deciding to hide out in his room that evening so that Ash didn’t need to see anyone when he would inevitably have to come out for a glass of water, or to use the bathroom.
The evening was slipping away and Ryan had just finished a TV series that he had been charging through for the last two weeks. There was still an hour until he would need to get to sleep; enough time for one last beer, before the inevitable daily grind would start all over again. He strutted out of his bedroom and made for the refrigerator, pausing only briefly to crack the can open and chug a little of it. He burped quietly, finding that the first few mouthfuls of fresh beer always made him the most gassy. Then, suddenly, he heard the door to Ash’s room opening and he stood there, feeling completely caught out.
“Hi,” Ash whispered, not making any pretenses that he was here for any other reason than to see Ryan.
Feeling incredibly awkward, Ryan now regretted coming out of his room without a shirt on; his bloated pot belly on full display. Before today, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but Ben’s words had planted an unpleasant seed in his mind that made him question everything he did a little bit more. “I’m sorry to hear about Ben,” he stated straight away. “How are you doing?”
Ash sighed and began to pour his heart out. He knew all about Ryan’s discovery earlier that day and he thanked the guy for doing the right thing.
“I’m just looking out for you,” Ryan nodded, swigging the last of his beer and crushing the can for recycling. He shouldn’t have really had another one. His stomach felt quite painfully bloated and tight after it.
“Oh, and about those things that Ben said to you,” Ash quickly jumped in, seeing that Ryan was heading back to his room. “I hope it’s not going to make things awkward between us.”
Ryan had to think for a second about what Ash was getting at. The crush? Was Ben actually telling the truth about that? “Um, no. Not at all,” he mumbled back, rubbing his hair with a little embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, finally making his escape.
An evening out with Jack was exactly what Ryan needed a couple of weekends later, as Ryan’s divorce was at last finalised. Unlike Ryan’s months of hell, Jack’s appearance was symbolic of a life of sheer indulgence and pleasure. Unlike Ryan, his body was pure softness, with blubber beginning to creep its way into the guy’s neck and upper arms. His stomach had swollen quite considerably and his butt had a surprising width to it that Ryan had not expected.
“Listen, I didn’t want to message you about this. I kind of feel pretty bad asking you in some ways, knowing what you’re going through,” Jack started after Ryan had finished explaining how the divorce had eventually played out. “I wanted you to be my best man.”
Ryan smiled brightly. “Of course I will,” he beamed, getting up to hug his old friend warmly as he stayed sitting in his chair.
“Thanks,” Jack smiled. “It’s not going to be a huge wedding. Not everyone approves,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
“How do you mean?” Ryan asked, sensing that Jack needed to offload.
“Well, Michelle’s parents aren’t coming,” he huffed. “They’d watched Michelle do this to her old boyfriend,” he explained, rubbing the quite substantial shelf of belly fat under his sagging nipples. “So when the same thing started happening to me, they told her they wanted no part in it.”
“Bonus!” Ryan joked, trying to remain upbeat. “My marriage certainly would have gone a lot smoother without the in-laws.”
Jack nodded, seeming to be somewhat in agreement. “Michelle’s not too cut up about it,” he whispered. “Then, well, you remember my dad. He still goes out running three times a week. So he’s not been all that in favour of Michelle and her wholesome home cooking..”
“You can’t live your life for your parents,” Ryan jumped in. It was a lesson he had learned somewhat bitterly when his own church-goin parents had taken Lucy’s side in the divorce. It made him think back to how much they had pushed him to get married in the first place, and he began to resent them, quite justifiably in his opinion.
“I know, I know…” Jack nodded. “And I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s it for me, y’know?”
Ryan raised his beer and they drank to that sentiment.
“What about you?” Jack asked next. “Is there someone new you’ve been holding back from me?”
Ryan shook his head. “No, not at all,” he stated. “Well… I mean…” he hesitated for a moment. “No. No one.”
But Jack’s interest had already been piqued. “Oh, come on. You can’t give me that and then say nothing!” he teased.
Ryan sighed, realising that he had dug himself into a bit of a hole. “It’s nothing,” he huffed at his own stupidity. “It’s just, one of the guys I live with has a bit of a crush on me.”
“Your first chubby chaser!” Jack laughed wickedly.
“Well…” Ryan conceded. “It looks that way, yes. His ex-boyfriend told me off for strutting around the place in just my underwear. He said I had a pot-belly and told me his boyfriend thinks of me as a hot daddy bear!”
Jack chuckled again. “Well, he’s not wrong. You do have quite the pot-belly!”
“Isn’t it a bit weird though?” Ryan asked his friend.
“Being referred to as a daddy bear when you’re only twenty nine?” Jack asked, simultaneously nodding in agreement. “But once you put on a bit of extra meat, that’s just the way people see you. It’s much more arousing to lean into it, rather than try to fight it.”
“Lean into it?” Ryan asked. “That’s your best advice?”
“Just enjoy the attention,” Jack smirked. “So what if he’s a twenty-four year old gay guy? You don’t have to be into someone to appreciate their admiration,” he nodded knowingly. “Trust me on this one. You’ll come to see that I’m right.”
With the divorce at last over with and all lawyers paid off, Ryan began to feel the financial strain starting to ease. Lucy hadn’t been quite as successful in getting all that she wanted from him. The worst case scenario was, thankfully, avoided. A few more months of living with the boys and Ryan would soon have saved enough money to rent his own place instead. With the ties that bound him to his ex-wife now finally disappearing, Ryan began to remember why he had fought so long for this freedom.
“I’ll have the Monster Meat bucket,” he declared, walking into a fast food place and not feeling guilty about the cost for the first time in months. He sucked in the smell of all the greasy goodness and knew that this was a freedom he would never again take for granted. Now he could gorge on as much as he desired and never have to explain himself to anyone. He could literally get as fat as he wanted now he was divorced and single, with no one to please but himself.
As he settled down into a seat, Ryan felt the bliss of devoting all his attention just to his epic meal for a full 20 minutes. It was all the stress relief he had ever needed. No one in here was particularly slim and it seemed, in those moments, that he had taken himself out of a world that so frustrated him, and into one that he felt comfortable in. Sure, he could probably join a gym and drop this weight in a relatively short amount of time. He could train his body hard and attract some beautiful girl to make his ex jealous. But Ryan knew that he had moved beyond that now. He didn’t care what his ex thought of him, or anyone else for that matter.
Or was Ryan just kidding himself? Was this really a moment of clarity? Or would he soon go crawling back to a diet plan the second things started getting rough? He was desperate to believe that wouldn’t be the case, but no one could ever be totally certain when it came to the future. It was only the present he could master. And so, armed with that knowledge, he went back to the counter, even though he felt almost too stuffed to even think about food.
“I’ll have the triple burger, please,” he stated, adding another milkshake to go with it. “He felt his hardess start to tingle, like the old days when he used to do this. Back then, he’d assumed it to be some twisted excitement about pissing Lucy off. Now he realised that this was so much more. This was about taking himself to somewhere he had never allowed himself to imagine going..
“Is this for you?” Ash asked, handing Ryan two boxes of pizza. “The delivery guy was coming up the stairs as I got home.”
“About time!” Ryan sighed, taking the boxes from him and settling back into the chair in front of the sofa. Two pizzas were a necessity for the Friday night baseball game and he was already four beers down. It would have been a perfect night but for the sticky humidity that had loomed over the city for the last few days; making him strip to his boxers as soon as he got home. “Do you follow baseball?” he asked Ash politely, nodding to the couch to see if he wanted to join him; knowing that, with Paul gone for the weekend, Ash would be on his own otherwise.
“No. Watching sports is not really my thing,” Ash replied unenthusiastically, despite continuing to linger around.
“Do you mind getting me another beer then?” Ryan asked,deciding to put the guy to work if he was so free to just stand about like this. 
Ash hopped to his task with remarkable speed. “Here you go,” he smiled delightedly, heading straight over and handing it over to him, not seeming to realise that he was blcoking part of the TV screen. “I’ve got some chips and dip if you want some?” he asked next.
“Sure,” Ryan nodded, hoping that the guy would at least sit down then and stop getting in the way.
Once again, Ash went to his task, presenting the chips and dip much better than Ryan ever would have. He placed them on the coffee table and then finally sat himself down on the couch. 
“You not having any?” Ryan asked five minutes later, noticing that it was only him actually eating.
“No, thanks,” Ash simply replied, pretending to be interested in the game. “They’re for you. Do you want another beer?”
Ryan felt the remaining liquid in his beer can and nodded, surprised by how diligently he was being looked after. Even when he asked Ash to fetch him the ice cream from the freezer later on, he was surprised that the young guy hopped to it, bouncing off the couch with an enthusiasm he had never seen before.
At the end of the game, Ryan took himself to the bathroom to relieve himself after the seven cans of beer he had ended up consuming. He looked in the mirror and marveled at the reflection he saw within it. Bloated and stuffed, Ryan had never seen his stomach looking so round and tight. Although he had upgraded his underwear a little while back, already these were looking worn and stretched, pulling the waistband down so that a good couple of inches of butt crack were on show. His muscular chest had started to build up with fleshiness in recent weeks and he placed his hand there to feel just how soft it was starting to get under his arms. He pulled the scales out with his foot and wondered just how much he weighed in this overfed state. He stepped on, waiting for the numbers to settle: 256lbs; the biggest number he had ever seen by quite some margin. It was, quite frankly, the cause of an almost instantaneous erection.
“I was wondering, if you’re still hungry, I could make you some pancakes?” Ash asked next as Ryan finally made it out of the bathroom. “I’ve got all the ingredients in.”
Ryan sat himself back down with a grunt and rubbed the shelf of his tight stomach, surprised that Ash was still hanging about the living area. Couldn’t he see how full Ryan was? Was he completely obvious to the heavy breathing and occasional grunt when he had to move, even slightly. He knew that the guy had a little crush, but what on earth was he possibly getting out of all this?
“Go on,” Ash pressed, actually trying to persuade him now. “Just a couple of them; nothing too big.”
Ryan looked up at the guy, already making his way to the kitchen and just waiting for that final nod of approval from him. Out of little more than curiosity, he agreed; watching with interest as he spied Ash settling to his task. Was he really using that much oil to fry the batter mix up? Was he actually rubbing butter into them? Did he really need to pour on that much syrup?
Despite tasting amazing, Ryan knew that every mouthful he was taking was completely and utterly packed full of calories and fat. As if desperate for his approval, Ash had watched him consume every bite of them. A sweat had begun to pour off Ryan’s forehead, but he wasn’t entirely sure that this one was caused by the humidity. “I am absolutely stuffed!” Ryan declared, grunting and rubbing the stretched out ball of stomach fat. “I haven’t eaten this much in ages,” he chuckled. “Not since I was trying to piss off my ex-wife after she told me she liked me being skinny.” “You were putting on weight on purpose?” Ash asked, quite startled by the comment.
“I was going for it, like you wouldn’t believe!” Ryan nodded. “Unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard to comprehend how petty you can be towards the end of a bad marriage,” he grinned, suddenly noticing that his hands were all over his own rounded stomach. “I was even taking this special calorie supplement shake you can buy, just to speed things up,” he laughed, thinking back.
“Oh!” Ash exclaimed knowledgeably, suddenly naming the exact brand .
They both went quiet. What a strange piece of trivia for Ash to just know, thought Ryan. The guy seemed to sense that too, suddenly looking a little sheepish. 
“Do you still take them?” Ash asked next, trying to look a little less interested than his excitable voice made him sound.
“I don’t need to,” Ryan grinned, tapping his fully grown pot belly. I just weighed myself twenty minutes ago. I’ve put on another 40lbs since I moved in here. It seems that I just can’t stop these days!” He yawned, standing up and stretching. “Anyway, buddy. I need to head to sleep,” he declared, seizing upon the fact that his erection from the overeating had at last subsided.
“Do you think there is a way to tell if someone is like your Michelle?” Ryan asked the next time he caught up with Jack at the very hastily organised stag party.
“How do you mean?” Jack asked, only a little worse for wear as he and Ryan gradually fell to the back of the crowd of friends taking them to the next bar.
“You know… Someone who is into the idea of helping someone else gain weight,” Ryan explained, trying to keep his voice fairly low.
Jack chuckled. “Oh, trust me, you’ll spot them!” he nodded. They’re not exactly subtle. “They’ll find ways to ensure you’re eating and they’ll probably want to watch too. If they’re anything like Michelle, they’ll probably try to keep your activity levels low and complement you at the weirdest times; like when you’re bloated from overeating.”
Ryan nodded, taking it all in and finding a striking resemblences to Ash’s more recent behaviours. “Anything else?” he asked.
Jack considered for a moment. “The compliments,” he added next. “They’re totally bizarre. If they’re praising you for overeating, that’s a pretty sure sign. But sometimes they may try to convince you that you look better, or more masculine, or whatever it is they think you want to hear. When the reality is, you just look fat.”
Again, Ryan nodded, keen to match Jack’s thoughts to his own observations of Ash. “You see, I think I might have…”
“Come on!” shouted their drunk friends up ahead. “The night is still young. Stop waddling behind and get your big butts up here!”
Jack and Ryan smirked at each other. Despite Jack’s rather considerable extra weight, Ryan had been lumbered in exactly the same category. The pair of them were, for better or worse, the fat guys on this trip.
“You’re back!” Ash smiled late the next day as an exhausted Ryan made it home. “Did you have a nice time? Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat?”
Ryan looked again at the time. “You’re still up!” he asked with surprise, knowing that Ash always had an early class on Monday mornings.
“Well, I wanted to check that you got home okay,”Ash replied, heading to the kitchen and renewing his offer to make something for his roommate.
Smirking at the fact that he was being fussed over and mothered by a good-looking twenty-four year old, Ryan had been disappointed that he hadn’t had more alone time to discuss this situation he was in, with his buddy, Jack. “Okay,” he nodded, deciding to just let Ash do his thing. “Sure, that would be nice.” He headed for a shower, returning to find an enormous, steaming hot lasagne, glistening with grease and cheese, sitting there on a plate, ready to be eaten. “Did you make this from scratch?” he asked Ash.
Ash nodded. “I remembered you saying that lasagne used to be your favourite dish growing up. I’ve never made it before, but I made a whole bunch of them and portioned them up in the refrigerator for when you get hungry.
Ryan smiled at the effort Ash had clearly gone to for him; a whole new level of care and attention. He opened his mouth to try some and nodded in approval. The lasagne really was delicious, although it was more than obvious just how much oil, cream and several different types of cheeses had gone into it to make it really quite extremely high in calories. If all the beer and fast food hadn’t ensured his pants would be tighter tomorrow, this little calorie bomb sure would.
“How was the weekend, anyway?” Ash asked, sticking around for the show and watching Ryan devour every bite.
“Pretty good,” Ryan nodded. “I had a couple of jibes from some of my old school friends about my weight. But we all turn thirty this year, so the dad-bod is definitely where most of them are at now anyway. I’m just the one who has already graduated from that stage,” he winked at Ash, tapping his gut.
“What did they say?” Ash asked with surprising interest, placing a cushion over his crotch.
“Oh, you know,” Ryan went on, deciding to play up to whatever kinky fantasies he thought his roomate may be having. “Just pointing stuff out to me: telling me how tight my clothes are, how slow I was when we were walking to different places and calling me out on how much I was eating when we went for food.”
“They’re probably just jealous,” Ash shot back straight away.
Ryan smirked. There was no way any of the guys were in the least bit jealous of his sprouting pot belly, making him all but invisible to the many hot girls they bumped into that weekend. This was clearly just another one of those bizarre compliments that Jack had told him to look out for. “Yeah, you’re right,” he lied to Ash, rubbing his bloating gut as he chugged down a few of the sodas Ash had supplied with his late night meal. “I’m sure they are jealous, deep down.”
Stepping on the scale was not something that Ryan did all that often. He could feel his stomach’s rounded shape starting to swell even larger, and he knew, from the fit of his underwear and pants, that his thighs and butt were also bearing the brunt of all that he was consuming each day. Still, as he stepped up, early one Sunday morning, after a particularly gluttonous take-out weekend of having the apartment to himself, Ryan’s eyes widened in shock: 278lbs! “Fuck!” he blasted in shock, before laughing to himself at how fast the latest few pounds had slipped on. He really weighed that much? He didn’t feel that heavy! He strolled over to the mirror inspecting his shape. Sure, his gut was pretty well developed by now and all the extra eating had sure softened his chest up rather a lot. He spun, noting that his butt’s width was quite considerable now, with back fat bulding at his sides and folding under his shoulder blades. Yet, he still didn’t feel like he should weigh 278lbs! Somehow, he had always imagined a guy that size being much bigger than this. What Ryan actually felt as he saw himself there, was very small still; acting as a licence for him to continue to indulge.
Jack’s wedding was fast approaching as the weeks rolled by. After being fitted for their suits, Ryan and Jack headed out for something to eat.
“That tailor seemed pretty pissed off that we left it this late to get ourselves measured for the wedding outfits,” Ryan noted as they sat down and grabbed the menus. “I guess we’ll have to cross our fingers that they can get those pants in for you in time.”
“It’ll be fine,” Jack shrugged. “I put on weight every week, so there would have been no point in going any earlier. I would just have outgrown them. “I’m almost 350lbs these days.”
Ryan nodded. Jack did indeed look impressively large, yet he was only 60lbs or so bigger than he was. And Ryan still felt tiny in comparison. “I know what you mean,” Ryan agreed. “I split some pants the other day. I’d only bought them four weeks before.”
“It’s weird, isnt it. When you’re gaining weight, you’re so tuned into how your body feels and looks. Yet, at the same time, you’re completely oblivious to it as well; how tight your clothes are getting, or how large you seem to other people.”
Ryan nodded enthusiastically. He felt so glad that Jack noticed this as well, sparking a lively conversation between the pair.
“You’ll be getting your own place soon, I take it?” Jack asked. “The two students you're sharing with must be graduating soon?”
“A couple of months,” Ryan nodded, suddenly realising that he had been a little lazy in his hunt for a new apartment. 
“That’ll be nice!” Jack smiled. “Your own space at last!”
“Well, it’s not too bad as it is,” Ryan explained. “Paul is never there at weekends. And now he’s got himself a girlfriend, he’s not there much in the week either.”
“And what about the other one? The one you used to fight with loads?”
“Yeah, he’s there a lot, but… we don’t argue so much these days,” he admitted; suddenly feeling the desire to say so much more about kinky little Ash.
“Before I foget,” Jack jumped in. “Michelle wants to know who you’re bringing as your ‘plus one’ to the wedding next week.
“I’ve got a ‘plus one’?” Ryan asked, genuinely surprised.
“Dude!” Jack grumbled. “Seriously?”
“I’ll find someone,” Ryan replied hastily, seeing how stressed Jack was getting.
“What about that girl you were hinting at when we briefly chatted during my stag party?” Jack asked, clearly keen to get a name locked in.
Ryan thought for a moment. Had Jack assumed he had some potential hot chubby chaser girl on the go? He pondered the idea, realising, quite suddenly, that he didn’t really need one. In the most unexpected way, everything that he had yearned for in life had already arrived. “Hey, Jack,” he asked thoughtfully. “How did you know that Michelle was the one for you?”
“She’s gorgeous,” Jack shot back with a sly grin.
“Besides that,” Ryan insisted. “How did you know that you guys were meant to be together?”
Jack sighed. “I guess…” he began softly, “...it was the way she made me feel: so loved and cared for; admired and adored. I’ve never felt that from anyone before.” He seemed moved, just by talking about her. “Plus she dominated me and forced me to pack on over 150lbs of pure fat; which is one of the kinkiest fucking things I could ever have imagined!” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Ryan laughed and nodded. He made a crack about how much fatter Jack might be after he got home from his honeymoon, but, really, his mind was elsewhere; with someone else entirely.
Ryan arrived home to see a large crate of beers resting on the kitchen counter tied up with a ginormous red bow. He laughed, seeing that it was his favourite brand and noticing that a large tray of assorted doughnuts lay beside it.
“Do you like your present?” Ash asked, coming out of his bedroom with a huge smile on his face.
“You bought these for me?” Ryan asked, feeling his mouth watering at the sight of the doughnuts, even after how much he had eaten with Jack that afternoon.
As if psychically linked, Ash began unpackaging the doughnuts for him, leaving them open for him to stuff one into his mouth. “They’re to say thank you. I just had my novel manuscript accepted for publishing.”
Ryan nearly spat out his doughnut. “You’ve been writing a novel?” he blasted in shock. “Since when?”
“Since you kept reminding me that I need to do something with my life; back when you first moved in.”
“I was being an asshole,” Ryan confessed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel…”
“You gave me the kick up the ass that I needed,” Ash threw back with a smile. “You always told me how clever I was and that I could do anything.”
“You’re an amazing person,” Ryan marvelled. “In fact, you’re the best person I’ve ever met in my life!” For weeks now, he had worried that his behavious around Ash, indulging his little feeder tendencies in subtle ways, had only brought the guy to fetishize him. Their relationship was merely one of a simple exchange: Ryan would enjoy being overfed and catered for by his roommate, and Ash would get to enjoy the subtle art of ensuring a guy that he found attractive, continued to pile on a few pounds. Now, however, every sense felt strangetly heightened in this moment of celebration. He couldn’t believe that Ash had been secretly writing away for months when Ryan had assumed the guy to be inside his bedroom, playing games. Just how blind had he been this entire time?
Ryan took a step forward and Ash did not retreat. He grabbed the much smaller guy’s shoulders and held them firmly. Again, Ash did not stop him. Then, seeing the inviting, warm look on Ash’s face, Ryan took the biggest risk of his life, going in for a kiss and desperately hoping that Ash’s lips would move to meet his.
Unbelievably, Ash was kissing him back, moaning gently, as if luxuriating in something he had never wanted more in his life. The kiss became intense, very quickly. With his shirt lifted off him, Ryan felt the handsome guy’s hands rubbing all over his stomach. Before he knew it, Ryan was being guided into the living space, his sweatpants ripped down and then his body pushed with surprisingly kinky force, back into his usual chair in front of the TV. 
Ryan looked up at Ash with startled arousal. The guy seemed so naturally suited to taking charge. He would have known that this was Ryan’s first gay experience and he led the way with ease, erasing any opportunity for awkward fumblings to slip in. He cracked open one of the chilled beers and fetched the tray of doughnuts from the kitchen counter. Then, when he was sure that Ryan was settled, he plunged his whole mouth down onto the fat guy’s crotch.
Ryan’s whole body twitched.This wasn’t a blow job, he thought to himself, feeling the intense stimulation straight away. He found himself moaning, even when he was trying not to. Was this intense pleasure what it was supposed to have been like all along? Lucy had never made much of an effort with anything in the bedroom, but Ash’s mouth was doing things to him that Ryan could never have dreamed of. He supped on his beer and ate a doughnut, feeling Ash’s hands rubbing the spherical shape of his stomach, clearly getting off on making this moment all about him.
Barely two doughnuts in and Ryan felt his body lurching as it wanted to climax. Ash worked his pace even more, feeling the throbbing in his mouth. Then, when the moment came, he pushed his mouth even deeper, sending Ryan’s hardness all the way down his throat. The pleasure; the orgasm; that intensity. It was unlike anything Ryan had ever experienced in his life. 
There was no going back.
Over the following week, Ryan discovered that Ash had a whole arsenal of tactics to please him. Not only did the guy continue to fuss over him with his cooking and snack deliveries, but his tight, energetic little butt seemed determined to outdo every single previous sexual experience that Ryan had ever had. They spoke at length about their attraction to each other and how smitten they both had become. Ryan had no hesitation in inviting Ash to be his date for Jack’s wedding. And, in fact, spending so much time with a now professional writer, really helped Ryan to produce the best speech he could have wished for. Rather than feeling sick with nerves as the big day arrived, he felt excited and pumped, heartily stuffing himself on the big breakfast Ash had so lovingly prepared for him.
“Your friends really aren’t keen on Michelle, are they?” Ash commented later that evening, as the pair of them were reunited after Ryan’s time sitting at the top table and the endless photographs that needed taking.
“Um, no,” Ryan nodded. “Not so much.”
“I had no idea that your friend, Jack, used to be so slim before he met her,” he whispered, fearing that one of their families might overhear. “Your buddies seem to think she’s the devil incarnate!”
Ryan chuckled. He’d heard it all before. “She’s lovely really,” he tried, looking over at the pair of them as Michelle spoonfed her 350lb husband a large piece of their wedding cake. “She just… knows what she wants.”
“I think everyone here can see exactly what it is she wants,” Ash joked back as Jack’s full, swollen belly was patted with approval by his new wife. “It makes me wonder what your friends are going to say about me eventually.”
Ryan pulled Ash into him by holding his slim hips in his chubby hands. They had decided that it was best to go easy on the public displays of affection, considering that this was their first time out together as a couple. However, Ryan simply could not help himself.  “Oh, yes?” he asked keenly.
“I certainly don’t have any plans to put you on a diet,” Ash grinned, fingering the skin between the stretched buttons of Ryan’s beer swollen gut.
Ryan growled in lustful approval. His hands slipped onto Ash’stight, toned butt and pulled the guy in even closer.
“In fact, how come you’re not eating a big slice of wedding cake for me right now?” Ash teased.
Ryan moaned lightly. This was exactly what he wanted. He knew how much scrutiny he was under today. He could feel the judgemental eyes upon him, for his shocking weight gain, the fit of his tight shirt, and the fact that he was dating someone none of them had ever expected. He should have been nervous or self conscious. However, with Ash in his arms, Ryan had never felt more free to be himself. “But won’t that make me even fatter?” he teased back.
Ash smiled. “Oh… I hadn’t thought of that,” he joked, accepting the kiss that Ryan soon bestowed upon him.
Ryan felt Ash’s hands feeling his big, broad butt as they kissed; the pants he had been measured for only a week ago, starting to feel rather uncomfortable after only a week of dating the handsome twenty-four year old. The kiss ended and both of them laughed, realising how ridiculously long it had taken to get to this point. 
“Is this along the lines of what you had in mind for me?” Ryan asked moments later, pushing out his stomach as far as it would go and stretching those buttons even more.
Ash seemed thrilled, looking around the room in surprise that Ryan was making himself look so large in front of everyone that he knew at the wedding. He smiled, rubbing the underside of Ryan’s ball-like gut and then leaned in to whisper. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased.
Ryan growled in lustful appreciation, then took his boyfriend’s hand and led the way to the wedding cake.
Exactly one year to the day, Ryan and Ash were sitting in that same room, together with Jack and Michelle, celebrating a year since the wedding. They reminisced fondly, thinking about the perfect day it had been and laughing about how shocked everyone had been after Jack came back 30lbs heavier from his two week honeymoon. 
“You can’t be far off the weight I was this time last year,” Jack noted, surveying his buddy’s hefty appearance.
“Possibly,” Ryan nodded, rubbing his large stomach. “I still  don’t feel big yet though,” he replied, as if he was oblivious to the enormous ball-shaped gut and the groaning of the chair, supporting his wide butt and mostrous 347lb body.
“Unless I ask him to do something,” Ash jumped in comically. “Then he always says he’s too fat to do anything!” he joked, making everyone chuckle.
“I’m actually going to be pushing Jack to five hundred pounds this year,” Michelle explained, taking her morbidly obese husband’s hand as if this was an announcement that thay had been planning for some time.
Ryan noticed Jack staring at his face for a reaction; perhaps some surprise that his old school buddy was so ensnared by his beautiful wife that he was willing to take his weight gain to such extremes for her.
“He’s going to be a lot of work for you at that size!” Ash grinned conspiratorily at Michelle. “I hope you’re ready for that?” he laughed.
“Oh, I’m counting on it!” Michelle smirked, rubbing the 430lb man’s knee under the table.
“You’re a very lucky guy,” Ryan nodded at his friend in approval.
“There you go, Ash,” Michelle smirked. “It sounds like we may have another willing volunteer to join the five hundred pound club,” she nodded towards a jealous looking Ryan.
“You’re joking aren’t you?” Ryan laughed. “Ash is heading off on his second book tour in March. “I won’t be gaining anything for almost two months whilst he’s gone. I’ll probably just wate away!”
“You liar!” Ash teased him back. “Last time I was away, you pretty much lived on takeout and put on almost twenty pounds in a month,” he chuckled.
“I don’t remember you complaining,” Ryan smiled back; his voice dripping with affection and lust.
Michelle looked at them both, clearly wanting to cut through their mushy meanderings. “So, five hundred pounds?” she asked again, trying to circle the conversation back. “I’m getting the impression that you boys are kinky enough to enjoy seeing that on Ryan,” she pressed; ever the bad influence.
Ryan and Ash looked at each other with a wicked excitement in their eyes.
“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Ash stated diplomatically. Unlike Michelle, he liked to be a little more discreet about his kinks and fantasies when it came to enjoying Ryan’s large body.
Ryan smirked and winked at his old buddy Jack. He knew exactly how to read between the lines of whatever Ash said. There was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to get Ryan to that size. And so, just like his high school best pal, Ryan was as good as setting sail for five hundred pounds. How insanely arousing was that?
“Eat up, my friend,” Ryan smiled competitively at Jack. “I’m coming for you, Fat Boy!” 
797 notes · View notes
ot8archivesblog · 3 months
Text
Party
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꒰ ͜͡➸ Pairing: Minho x Female Reader
꒰ ͜͡➸ Genre: College AU, Smut
꒰ ͜͡➸ Warnings: (Obviously) NSFW content, alcohol, mentions of drugs, cigarettes, smoking, drinking, explicit content, overstimulation, fingering, pet names, praise (like good girl)
꒰ ͜͡➸ w/c: 3,5k
꒰ ͜͡➸Masterlist
So I read this request a day ago and thought of it as really interesting because I'm currently writing a story which is similar to that, so I wanted to give this specific scenario a go.
You haven't mentioned which Gender the Reader should have, so because of the roommate being female (and as far as I know there are no mixed rooms) I will assume that the Reader is female as well.
This is actually my first attempt to write NSFW so I hope it'll be good and let me know how you think of it.
Have fun <3
(Not proof read because it's 1 am and I was too lazy so please excuse any mistakes <3)
Request by @the-unknown-daisy
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Your bag hit the ground the moment you finally closed the door to your dorm room.
Your best friend was currently sitting on her bed, painting her nails, while you let yourself fall onto your bed.
"Everything okay?" She turned her head to you for a second, taking in the little ball you had curled into, before she went back to concentrating on the task ahead.
She knew you had been like this for a few weeks now and she didn't know what was bothering you.
You normally always talked with her about stuff like that, but this time you decided against it. Exam stress was getting to you and you felt as if you weren't doing enough, but it felt stupid to voice it like that.
You knew she would understand and support you, but you still didn't confide in her.
She had been so happy these past few weeks, always meeting up with Changbin and spending time with him, that you didn't want to spoil her mood with yours.
Changbin is a really nice guy and he was making her so happy, sometimes you envied her.
Of course you wished them nothing but happiness, but it often happened, that when you saw them interact, you wished to be able to have someone like that in your life too.
You weren't lucky with boys though. All your relationships had ended on a bad note and you were just annoyed by it at this point.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you getting ready for something?" Stupid question. It's Friday. There would obviously be a campus party somewhere.
Students could barely contain their desire to drink and party all week, of course no one would miss the weekend parties.
Normally you would go as well, not as often as your best friend, but also quite often. However you didn't really feel like it the past few weeks and you didn't want to drag anyone down with you.
"Yep, the party is at Changbin's dorm this time. I would have either spend the night with him or at a party anyway so it's pretty convenient." Your best friend answered, while she finally closed the bottle of nail polish.
"You're coming with me, by the way." She nonchalantly added, as she blew on her nails.
"Wait, what? When did I say yes to this plan of yours?" You tilted your head, confusion taking over your features.
Had you promised to go?
"Well you didn't. But I told Changbin I would bring you along. You've been quite down these past few weeks and I wanna cheer you up." She got up from her bed and went over to yours, sitting down next to you.
"Plus you know Changbin's roommate?" Of course you did. Who didn't know him.
"You mean Lee Minho?" Her face lit up at that.
"Exactly! Isn't that enough reason to come? He'll be hanging out with Changbin, I'll be hanging out with Changbin and you'll be hanging out with me." She beamed at you and you could only sigh.
Of course, like everyone, you thought that Minho was very attractive. Hell, their entire group of friends was. But you still felt rather down and meeting someone like him in this condition, wasn't going to get you any plus points with him.
You turned to your friend to tell her that you didn't want to come, when you noticed her smiling down at her phone.
"I'm Telling Changbin you're coming! He missed having you around too." At that point you couldn't say no any longer.
She was being so happy over the fact that you could spend the night together, that you didn't want to let her down again.
"Fine, I'll come."
~
The last few hours had been spend with getting ready and by now, you were already tired.
You didn't know how you'd get through the night, but your best friend was convinced that if you looked hot, you would certainly feel hot and she wasn't wrong.
You did actually feel better, if you didn't think about the tiredness seeping into your bones. An energy drink would fix that.
Your best friend was wearing a pretty white top, that stopped right above her belly-button and a short pinks skirt with high heels.
Her makeup was close to that, but not too much pink.
While you were wearing tight black jeans and a black top that had only one sleeve and also stopped right above your belly-button. However it was also V-formed, showing more of your cleavage than your besties top did.
The dorm wasn't too far so you made your way over there, slowly strolling through the night, which was immediately illuminated by the party lights.
The music was already at full power and you could nearly hear it on the entire campus.
Professors thankfully never minded, so they could keep doing their little parties.
You followed your friend, never letting go of her hand as she lead you inside the dorm, finally meeting up with Changbin.
"Hey baby, you're here." He pulled her closer by her waist and planted a soft kiss onto her lips, which probably would have turned more passionate if you hadn't been standing next to them.
"Hey there little one, I missed you." The taller male greeted you by ruffling your hair up.
"Missed you too." You replied while your eyes scanned the room.
It was already extremely full and it was only 11 pm. You didn't want to know how full it could get.
You had been to quite a few parties but you were always amazed how many people actually fit into these dorms.
They weren't small but they weren't exactly big either.
Changbin had been playing beer pong with some guys until we had interrupted him. So he resumed in doing so, while one of his arms was securely wrapped around your friends waist.
"Binnie." Your best friend whined and he chuckled.
"Sorry guys, finish without me." He turned to her and kissed her, before leading you two away.
"Minho just wrote me telling me he's on his way back with Chan." Changbin commented as he made his way through the crowd and into the kitchen, offering us something to drink.
"Where did they go?"
"They went to get the others. Jeongin was at his parents for a few hours and Chan and Minho went to get him." The older answered, while giving us two glasses.
Not even seconds after he had given them to us, the crowd outside got louder.
"Seems like they're back." Changbin chuckled and went to meet up with them. We followed him closely.
"Hey, look who is finally out of her prison." Chan joked as he side-hugged you.
You had become friends with most of them after your best friend started dating Changbin so this was pretty normal behaviour.
"Sorry, sorry, didn't know I was missed so much." You chuckled as you leaned into Chan's side, when your eyes found Minho's.
You never knew what he was thinking. Could never figure him out. He was a mystery to you and many others.
Chan left first, going to greet some friends while Changbin, Minho, your friend and you made your way to the terrace to get some air.
A lot of people were out here as well but you all sat down on the couch.
"Let's play a game." Someone suggested and everyone agreed on truth or dare. The typical party game that everyone loved to participate in when their brains were non-functional.
You were sipping on your drink while the game commenced.
Till now you had been playing it safe, mostly taking truth, as you knew not many would pick up on it due to being drunk. However someone did pick up on it.
"Three time in a row. You have to pick dare." Minho said as he leaned back on the couch, his eyes fixed on you.
It had been Changbin who had spun the bottle, so why was he interfering?
You said but complied, picking dare this time, which made Changbin grin.
"Kiss Minho."
You were left speechless for a moment. Of course you knew how the game worked, but you hadn't expected this from Changbin. He always went easy on you, which is why you hadn't really been worried when the bottle picked you.
"What, never kissed anyone? I won't bite unless you want me to." Minho commented, a smirk finding its way onto his lips.
You got up from your place, walking over to Minho.
People were sitting next to him so you couldn't do so to kiss him. While you were still contemplating what to do, his hand found your waist and pulled you onto his lap.
"Not so shy." How could you not be, when you were about to kiss the Lee Minho?
Your thighs were on either side of him, as his hands still kept a steady grip on your waist. You leaned in closer, stopping right before your lips could touch his.
At this point both of your eyes were fixed on the others lips and you could feel his smirk on yours.
"What are you waiting for, Princess?"
That's all it took for you to connect your lips.
The kiss was slow at first. Your lips still finding the perfect rhythm to move against each other. However, it didn't take long before the kiss got more heated. He bit your lower lip, asking for entrance which you immediately complied with.
His tongue found its way into your space, exploring your mouth while you tilted your head to deepen the kiss.
It didn't take long for his tongue to find yours, his hands moving up and down your waist at this point while you could feel that you were sitting atop his member, as he got hard.
Your hands found their way into his hair, holding onto him as you moved your hips for a second, making him bite your tongue at the movement which made you gasp in return.
You both parted from each other, a delicate string of saliva still connecting your lips to each other, as you tried to breathe in as much air as possible. This being the only reason you parted in the first place.
The game had commenced while you two had been shamelessly making out and you finally realised that you two weren't alone.
You immediately got off his lap and went back to your place, however your lips were still burning with the feeling of his on them.
The game got boring soon and most disappeared back inside, including Changbin and your friend, while you were now sitting next to Minho, still outside.
He was smoking a cigarette right now, accompanying it with a glass of vodka.
You never really smiled but at this point and the level of drunk you currently were at, you were curious.
"Let me try."
Minho turned his eyes to you, the cigarette still on his lips. He seemed to contemplate it for a moment, until a smirk formed on his lips.
"Sure, but allow me to try something." You didn't really mind. He is Changbin's friend so you trusted him as well.
He took a deep drag of his cigarette, before his long fingers found their way onto your chin, pulling you closer without a word. They put slight pressure on your chin, which made you part your lips and you immediately understood, parting them a little more.
He came closer to you, your nose nearly touching his as he leaned his head to the side, to blow the smoke inside of your mouth. You inhaled, but he didn't give you a lot of time to think as his lips smashed onto your again.
The smoke not being the only thing that went into your mouth as his tongue followed suit. You held onto his shirt, returning the kiss while his hands found their way to your ass, squeezing them for a second before he lifted you onto his lap by your waist.
You immediately adjusted to the situation, sitting up slightly. Your hands finding his neck as you returned the kiss. Your tongue finding his, the fight for dominance not taking long as Minho immediately won it.
You both parted again, out of breathe. It was way too hot between you two. And you both wanted nothing more than to taste the other.
Without a word he picked you up, your legs wrapping around his torso as he carried you to his room.
His room was a no-go zone at parties like these. Everyone knew that. The moment he entered you noticed that the room was empty. He closed the door behind you two, locking it before he resumed his way to his bed, letting you fall on it.
Minho didn't wait for another second, his lips were on your neck this time, as his hands found your waist again. His lips were leaving butterfly kisses all over your neck before he finally found a spot he was satisfied with.
His lips latched onto the soft skin and he sucked on it. Gaining a sweet moan from your lips. He grinned, finally letting go of the skin, admiring the dark hickey that was forming.
"You're okay with this, right?" He asked, just to be completely sure, before you two went any further.
Your nod was more than clear, however that wasn't enough for Minho.
"I need your words, Princess." Those words went straight to your core and it needed a lot of self-control to not cum untouched.
"Yes, please." You didn't need to tell him twice. He removed your shirt from you, his hands immediately unclasping your bra as well as his lips found their way onto your chest.
Soft butterfly kisses littered it at first, before his mouth found one of your nipples catching them between his teeth. At first he softly licked it, watching goosebumps erupt all over your skin before he softly bit it, again pulling a moan out of your throat.
Your sweet sounds were going straight to his member but he tried to control his desires, wanting to prep you enough for him.
You could feel yourself getting wet and it only got worse the more he continued. You needed to feel him inside of you, but you could barely form thoughts, let alone words. Everything felt so good for your touch starved body. And it didn't help that Minho was so perfect at everything he did.
He stopped torturing your breasts, continuing his journey down, a soft kiss on your belly-button and you felt his teeth on the hem of your pants. His hands skilfully opened them before he pulled them down and threw them away.
Just as he had done with your shirt and bra.
"Already so wet for me. What a good little, Kitten." A whimper escaped your lips the moment you felt his hand on your inner thigh, moving closer to your heated core.
"Minho." You managed to moan but the boy only smirked as he moved your drenched panties aside to let one finger graze your folds. He was only rubbing them slowly, but this was enough for you to arch your back already. His fingers felt so good, you could barely wait for them to finally enter you.
"You want me so bad?" He looked up at you as you nodded as much as you could. "I will need your words, Princess."
"Yes, please Minho-..." A moan escaped your lips as his finger entered you. Your hands found the blanket behind you, as you had nothing else to hold onto.
He moved his finger slowly at first but the moment he felt you losing your mind his pace picked up, hitting all the right places.
You were so close to your release when you felt a second finger entering you. You pushed your head into the mattress, trying to ground your thoughts but everything felt so hot. You could barely wait any longer.
"I'm so close." You whined which only made him pick up his pace.
"The cum for me, Princess." Seconds passed after his sentence before your orgasm came crashing down on you. He helped you ride it out until he pulled out his fingers, licking them clean.
"you taste so good." He chuckled.
"You made such a mess, only because of my fingers?" You blushed. "Let's see what a mess you'll make for more." He knew he prepped her enough so he finally got rid of his clothes as well, letting his member finally out of its confinement and you understood why he had to prep you so good.
His member was a sight to behold and you could feel yourself getting wet again only at the sight of it.
He got on top of you, pulling a condom out of his drawer before you stopped him.
"It's fine, I'm on birth control." You needed to feel him inside of you, without a condom.
"Are you sure?" He asked, wanting to be completely sure that you were okay with this.
"Yes."
He threw the pack of condoms away, not wanting to waste another second on them before he connected his lips with yours again.
The kiss was as messy as the first ones but this time you could feel him positioning himself at your entrance.
He broke the kiss, his eyes finding yours. Analysing if there was any doubt before he pushed the tip in slowly.
Your warm walls immediately welcoming him.
"Fuck, you're so tight." He moaned as he slowly kept pushing his member deeper. You were holding onto him, your nails surely leaving marks on his back as your back softly arched. You needed him inside of you, all of him.
He finally bottomed in, giving you a moment to adjust to his size before he pulled out nearly completely only to push it inside a little more forcefully this time.
His groan and your moan mixed as he kept a fixed pace. Your back arched as his member hit your sweet spot every time he pushed it back inside of you. His hands holding your hips so that he could burry himself as deep as possible.
You felt so good around him, your pussy clenching around him as you felt yourself getting closer.
One of his hands moved to your clit, softly rubbing it as he thrust into you, making you scream his name out in pleasure.
You were happy it was so nosy outside, or everyone would have probably heard you two. It was impossible to contain your moans.
"I'm close." He notified, hid hold on your waist tightening.
"Please come inside." You moaned, wanting to feel the warmth of his cum inside of you, to fill you up with it.
"You you want me to fill you up with my cum?" You didn't have to look at him to see the grin.
"Such a needy, whiny brat. If I had known this we would have done this earlier. So good for me. You better take it all. Every drop." He chuckled as his thrusts got sloppier and harder.
You were close, your pussy clenching around his member which made him groan.
"Clenching so good around me, such a good girl."
This only threw you over the edge, your pussy clenching around him as you arched your back, your orgasm hitting you like a truck for the second time.
He helped you ride it out, his thrusts not faltering as his pace only picked up, indicating that he was getting closer to his release.
You felt overstimulated, your pussy was burning as you tried to match him but there was no need, as he came only a few moments after you had.
His hot cum filling your walls as he held your hips still to push his member as deep inside of you as he could.
His back was arched as he threw his head back, your pussy so tight around him that it felt as if it was squeezing every drop out of his members.
"So greedy." He chuckled as he pulled out, admiring the mess you two had made.
"I told you to take it all, Princess."
He teased as he noticed some of his cum sliding out of your hole, only to push int inside with his finger again, making you moan in the process.
Your clit was extremely sensitive and every touch felt burning hot.
"Min, mhh." His eyes focused back on your fucked out state and he grinned, pulling his finger out of you and in front of your lips.
"Taste our mess." You immediately parted your lips taking his fingers into your mouth and licking them clean.
"What an obedient Kitten."
You were exhausted at this point, hoping that he wouldn't make you leave now, but it seemed as if he had no intention to do so.
He pulled you closer to him, covering you both with a blanket.
"Rest for now, let's clean this mess up later." A soft kiss was placed onto the back of your neck as you back was pressed to his chest, his hands secured around your torso.
It didn't take long for your eyes to shut and for you to fall asleep next to him.
No one had ever made you feel as good as Minho had, and you were certainly hoping this wasn't the first and last time you did this.
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boiohboii · 4 months
Text
The people's sweethearts
Ch II
(Verstappen!reader x tom holland x zendaya)
Soulmate au
YN Verstappen had been through hell, by her own father, for something she didn't even ask for. She grew up learning that she should hate what was given to her, after all it was the reason her father was always angry with her. So what should she do when the one thing she learned to hate is the one thing that brings her love, safe and comfort that not even her older brother can compare.
WARNING: not proof read, Jos Verstappen (worsned like 10 times for this fic) poly relationship, derogatory terms by father, abusive father. If I missed anything else please let me know
Masterlist
ch.I
Faceclaim: kiki hertz
Tom prided himself in never exposing his soulmark, he let a lot of things out that shouldn't be and his soulmark not being one of those is such an achievement. Mostly because from a very young age, when he started acting, his mother would make sure he covered it up with makeup so that no one, not even those behind the scenes would see it.
"So, you're invited to watch cars drive in circles?"
Meeting Zendaya had been a dream, they both felt the need to be closer to each other whenever possible even before they discovered their identical soulmarks. Both of them working and hanging around each other made it so much difficult to conceal their newfound relationship and eventually the whole world knew that both of them were soulmates, and not just that, everyone was now aware that Tom Holland and Zendaya Coleman were fated to have a third lover, a third soul with them to keep them sane from all the chaos their lives bring in the form of fans and crazy paparazzi.
"How can you say that?" Tom looked back at his girlfriend as he poured himself some tea "you literally met Lewis Hamilton not that long ago!"
Tom was painfully aware of the fact that Zendaya isn't that interested in either of the sports he enjoys: formula 1 and golf.
"Oh yeah, at a fashion show," Zendaya recalls as she moves over to hug tom from behind, resting her chin on his head. "He was nice."
"Do you think we'll meet our darling soon?" Zendaya asked, making Tom leave his drink to hold her hand in reassurance.
"I think so," turning around he let go of one of zendaya's hands to let his palm rest on her cheek "I know that I met you when I kept thinking about my soulmate, so I have a feeling that we'll meet darling soon."
The couple had taken to calling their third soulmate Darling, a nickname that they both agreed to reserve for their missing soul.
"Yeah, I feel so too."
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Liked by maxverstappen1, F1wags&faves, verstappentruther and 683,519 others
Kellypiquet: a weekend with her was truly missed.
maxverstappen1: ♥️♥️
username: God, yn verstappen is so pretty
username: I wanna be her soulmate so bad
username: LOOK AT HER CHEEKS! I WANNA BITE THEM!
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With his work schedule Tom wasn't able to attend much f1 races, but when he could he did, and most of them were the infamous English track, Silverstone.
But here in Monaco, the races were something else, Tom can feel how the people in this country were raised watching these cars from their homes, cheering for their favorite driver and the preparations for the race throughout the entire country are just mind blowing (he promised himself that he would bring Zendaya here for a vacation, this place is amazing).
"Is something wrong?" The voice of Christian Horner stopped Tom dead in his tracks, the team principle of the red bull formula 1 team making him feel like a little child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
"Oh, um, yeah, yes-" clearing his throat Tom couldn't help still looking around, wanting to see the reason of the all too familiar tugging his heart "just looking around, the race is very different from Silverstone, the atmosphere is just so..."
And there it was, the reason his heart is pulling, the person he hoped he would meet as soon as he felt their presence in this specific garage, his darling; their darling.
"Well, Monaco is the heart of motorsport, especially formula 1, you can't live here without being a fan really."
Christian wasn't an idiot, he had eyes and his observational skills were too good. It wouldn't be the first time he witnessed a celebrity looking at yn verstappen, the girl hooking everyone in with her innocent face and charming smile. It would, however, be the first time he saw someone loose their breath over her and he knew what that meant, he knew that expression; he had went through it when he met his wife, he saw it on Max when he met Kelly and now he is going to see it on yn.
He thought he met an angel when he saw Zendaya, he thought that the feeling he would get when meeting their darling wouldn't be as strong, as intense, but seeing her there, standing next to Adrian Newey with a notebook and a pen in her hands, discussing something that seemed so important, made him unaware of anything else. She was all he could see, hear and feel. She was who they had been missing, and god did she make him want to scream at the top of his lungs.
He felt his chest swell up with emotions as he quickly reached for his phone, calling the one person he knew would calm him down.
"Hey baby, how's the race going?"
"Z, she's here," Tom rushed out as he maneuvered between the never ending sea of people to a quite place- well as quite as it can get in Monaco during a formula 1 race.
"What? Who's here?"
"Darling! She's here!"
"Darling is a she?"
Gathering her thoughts Zendaya left the lounge area of her hotel suite, dismissing the makeup artists and stylists with a smile and wave of her hand before entering the bedroom within the suite.
"Okay, okay, calm down baby," Zendaya spoke as she ran her hand through her hair "how about you go talk to her, yeah?"
"I can't, oh my god, what if she doesn't even feel the same pull- it's a stupid way to describe it but you know that's how I felt when I met you and it's the same but so much worse cause you're not here with me and I can't do this-"
"Honey, calm down, it's okay, let's take it step by step, did you check her wrist?" Being met with silence worried the tall girl, she knew how it might come off to him when she was basically asking him to check actual evidence and not take his feelings too seriously "I know your feelings, I get that, I felt the same with you, but it's better to be safe than sorry."
"Yeah, yeah," shuffling was heard before Tom apologies for, what zendaya assumed, pumping into someone "no, yeah, you're right, stay with me on the line, I'm going to try and see. She's wearing a sleeveless dress so that will make it easier."
Even though she didn't want to spoil it for herself, she wanted to get 100% of the awe and the fondness for herself, Zendaya couldn't help but ask "what does she look like?"
"So beautiful, Z" the way Tom spoke, the breathlessness and amazement in his voice made her want to cry, she wanted to be there, she wanted to be with him when they first saw her, that's how they always envisioned it.
"Okay, so I checked, and oh my god it's there, it's the same Z, what am I supposed to do, oh my god"
"Here's what you're going to do, you're going to tell her right now!"
"There are like 100 people around, how am I supposed to do that!"
"I don't know tom, tell her you wanna speak to her or something, make it up!"
"I can't do this, I can't, I am freaking out!"
"Oh my god, you're an actor, pretend it's a scene"
"Will you be able to pretend?"
"Well no, but I'm not the one that can see her, am I!"
"Okay, okay, deep breaths, I am going to tell her with you on the phone, alright?" Tom said as he started moving towards the blonde, his confidence building up with his taller soulmate cheering him on through the phone
"Holy shit" and there goes the little confidence he had
"What? Tom! Answer me! Is she dating someone, I swear to god if she is-"
"No, no, she's not," looking back at his soulmate "at least I don't think she is. God, there's no way I am telling her shit now."
"Why not?"
"Her brother can literally run me over with his small rocketship of a car! I am not doing anything when he is literally two centimetres away from her!"
What Tom failed to realise was how Christian Horner had joined the pair of siblings, telling Max and Yn of his earlier observations, which made all three of them look at the young brit in sync.
"Um, Z, I think we won't have to worry about me telling her."
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{taglist: @celesteblack08 @minkyungseokie @woozarts @keii134 @celesteblack08 @sainzluvrr @fangirl125reader}
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writtenapoiogy · 5 months
Text
stretch; miguel diaz
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pairing: miguel diaz x f!reader
summary: "hi how are you!!!? i’ve been thinking about this a lot, but reader being the only person to take care of miguel after his surgery / incident and it just creates so much attraction; since she’s always touching etc 😵‍💫😵‍💫 just pure smut"
word count: 1.4k
warnings: nsfw, 18+, smut, MINORS DNI, dry humping, unprotected sex, underage sex, penetrative sex, slight choking, dirty talkish, and porn with plotist again
a/n: i had a very busy weekend but i really wanted to get this out i hope everyone enjoys!!
When you found out Miguel got into a fight at school and then was in the hospital in a coma, when you were out of town, your heart shattered.
You had your mom get you a flight back to California, as soon as possible.
You didn’t know if he was gonna wake up. You don’t even know how he survived a fall like that.
It had now been about two weeks since the surgery and Miguel was still in the wheelchair. You came by every day to cheer him up. You loved putting a smile on his face.
Plus the two of you haven't really been able to be intimate. His mom and Yaya were out running some errands. You had offered to go for them but Miguel's mom insisted you stay with him while they were gone. She said she loved the way you brought a smile onto his face, especially right now.
You took your spare key out of your purse and opened the door.
“Hey, migs.” You said, walking into his room.
“Hi, baby,” he smiled up at you.
You showed up with a bag of his favorite snacks from the corner store.
You sat the bag of food down on his desk, “Okay before we get to the rewards. Ready to do some stretches?”
“I’d like to stretch something out..” he muttered under his breath, low enough that you couldn’t hear him.
“What was that?” You said before placing a kiss on his lips.
“Nothin,” he mumbled against your lips, right before deepening the kiss a little. He felt his dick harden a little.
You, unreluctantly, placed your hand on the back of his neck, kissing him back before pulling away.
“C’mon,” he reached for your waist.
You backed up swiftly and smiled at him. “We’ll make out later. First, stretches.” You smiled at him.
You went out into the living room to grab a pillow off the couch. When you returned to his room you stuffed the pillows behind his back so that he was sitting up.
You lifted up his left leg and sat down in front of his right leg. You placed your right hand on his ankle, your left moved to his upper thigh, lightly moving his basketball shorts down to his upper thigh.
He inhaled a sharp breath as he felt your hand inch very close to his mid region.
“You ready?” You asked.
Miguel nodded at you with his bottom lip between his mouth. He loved and missed your touch so much. He felt himself fully harden when he glanced down and saw your hand that close to his dick. He knew that if he didn’t keep his mouth shut he might've let out a moan.
You pushed your right hand that was holding his ankle towards his lower stomach. The action made the hand that was already extremely close to his dick graze it and you inhaled lightly feeling the hardness.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “Please.”
“Miguel…”
“Y/N, Please. It’s been so long. I wanna feel you around me any way I can. Please.” Miguel practically whined.
You put his leg down and crawled into his lap, placing your knees around his hips. His clothed cock rubbed against your heat as you sat down in his lap. Miguel’s hands shot up to your ass to guide your grinding when you leaned down to lay a searing hot kiss upon his lips.
Miguel moaned when you moved your lips down to his neck, “Fuck, yes.”
You started to moan into his ear as you kept grinding your hips against his. Miguel’s hands stayed on your ass helping you move your hips with his.
He wanted to come so bad and you knew he didn’t want to in his own pants. 
He wanted you. 
He needed you. 
He needed to come inside you. More than he needed air. More than he cared about being able to walk again. All that clouded his thoughts was you. And especially right now, all he could think about was feeling your hot wet heat squeezing him as he released his hot seed into your pussy. Deep inside of you.
Staying deep inside you until he was sure he was spent. He wanted you to have all of his come. Not wanting to waste a drop.
You stopped moving your hips and practically had to rip his hands off your ass. You quickly removed your pants and underwear and pushed his just below his ass. 
As much as you loved being against him. Skin to Skin. You needed him to be inside of you right that moment. And you needed to feel him come inside of you
You swiftly grabbed his cock and put it at your entrance and started to slowly sit down on him.
Miguel moaned your name when you slid just right past his head. “Mmmm, babe. It’s like you read my fucking mind.”
All you could manage to get out was a low whine, making him smirk. Since it had been so long it was feeling like the first time you two had sex. And it was almost too much for you to handle.
You sucked in a sharp breath when you were completely sitting on his cock. You felt like he was in your stomach. You placed your hand on your stomach like you had a baby in there. Miguel bit his lip then grabbed your ass even harder, eliciting a moan from you. He started to lift you up slowly, slamming you back down onto his cock. You couldn't help but let out a loud moan.
“M-Mi-Miguel, oh fuck!” You gasped. You may have been on top but he was still in control. He was making your mind go dizzy. You had to drop your hands onto his chest to bind yourself.
Miguel kept letting out groans, hearing your pussy squelch around him. He was so close to coming so fucking close. He started to bring you up and down at a faster pace. Saying a slew of curse words in Spanish.
“Y/N, I want you to come for me. Do you wanna come for me?” Miguel spoke in between his grunts. 
You tried to get out the words to respond to him but your words came out in babbles as you reached the tip of your climax you were so close and-
“Did you fucking hear me?” He growled as he took one hand from your hips and wrapped it against your neck.
You’ve never felt your climax hit you so hard and so fast. Your eyesight went spotty from how hard you shut your eyes. You love it so so sooo fucking much when he’s assertive. 
You couldn’t help yourself but moan out his name over and over again as you felt yourself get wetter as you milked his hot. Begging him to come not using so many words.
“Si, esa es mi chica.” He smiled at you and then you felt his dick twitch inside of you. He removed his hand from around your neck and put it back on your hip. Miguel quickly moved you no more than an inch up before slamming you right back down on his cock. He came while moaning. You will never get over how good it feels when he comes inside of you. Claiming you.
Miguel's climax made you come again
You clenched your pussy around him making sure you got every last drop of his seed. You bent down and gave him a slow kiss as you cut your breath.
“I love you so much handsome.”
“I love you most, mi amor.”
You lifted yourself off of him with a wince, having gotten used to him inside of you again. You went on to clean the both of you up.
You climbed back into the bed and then laid on his chest. You loved his afterglow after you two finished. You loved staring at his face and taking in every single one of his features as if you were outlining a picture of him on a piece of paper. He was so goddamn beautiful and you couldn’t wrap your head around it. 
You didn't realize you were dozing off til you woke up about an hour later and you continued to examine his face like you had been doing before you fell asleep. You could do this for the rest of your life.
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miloformula123fan · 1 month
Note
Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? He opted to hold her hand during the celebration of the Merc's double podium because there were too many people. "Move through the crowd while holding hands so as to not lose one another – and not letting go afterwards". Just something fluff and comfort. Add something if it's not right. Tag me later!! Thanks :)))
sorry it's so short! but I loved writing this fluff, and honestly churned it out in like 1 hour.
also if you have older requests i am working on them, I am just also working on school work.
luckily, all my assessments are nearly done, and holidays are next week so yay! more updates :)
Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.
also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better
and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)
toto wolff x wife!reader
“AND THAT IS A MERCEDES 1-2 TO THROW THIS CHAMPIONSHIP WIDE OPEN AT THE SAUDI ARABIAN GRAND PRIX AND 3 YEARS AFTER WINNING HIS LAST GRAND PRIX HERE, LEWIS HAMILTON HAS WON HIS 104TH CAREER VICTORY AND WHAT A WAY TO DO IT IN HIS LAST SEASON WITH MERCEDES.”
The rest of Crofty’s speech was drowned out by the cheers of the garage around Y/N as the team who had gone so long without winning, especially Lewis’ side of the garage cheered and yelled and as the pit mechanics came back from where they’d been on the fence yelling and contributed to more noise.
Y/N felt a little overwhelmed. She hadn’t really been in the garage since 2021, due to her husband’s tensions during the year and her wish to continue to just focus on her own career. She tried to insist she was the team’s bad luck charm after Abu Dhabi, until people had pointed out that she’d also been there during the dominant 2020 season. And as she had spent 2022 and 2023, which also were not great years for Mercedes, she’d agreed to do a lot more of her work remotely and come to the grand prixs. She insisted that she was bad luck at the first grand prix, and Toto had basically dragged her along to Saudi.
Maybe she was their good luck charm, she thought, as the garage exploded when Max and Sergio had crashed into each other, making both the red bulls retire. The Ferrari’s had been having problems all weekend but no one truly hoped even when they were sitting in a 1-2.
At least until they’d crossed the line. And then they’d had hope. And then the celebrations had begun. Someone had already found champagne and begun spraying it around, no one thinking about the podium, until all of a sudden everyone was and they were all rushing around and Y/N was all caught up in the rush and being pushed around by everyone, trying to find Toto until she felt a hand slip into hers.
She jumped back, not wanting some strange man holding her hand until she looked up and realised that it was in fact her husband who was trying to hold her hand.
“Sorry…didn’t realise it was you.”
“That’s okay Liebe. I’ve got you. Now lets go watch Lewis on the podium, okay?”
The second she nodded in agreement, Toto slipped his hand back into Y/N’s as he tried to push through the crowd again. Being tall and the team principal helped, and as they weren't coming for the pre podium celebrations, which is where everyone else was rushing towards. As the drivers were hugged and yelled at again by the mechanics (honestly how were they going to have voices tomorrow, and how were the red bull mechanics’ voices not very raspy after doing this practically every week for the past few years). Y/N thought she was going to have to cancel her meetings for the next few weeks as she would just be unable to talk.
Toto pushed through the throng of mechanics, pushing through the Mercedes and Williams colours everywhere, trying to get a good position at the front, and then the announcers began, and Toto and Y/N were wedged against the barrier and they decided to stop and watch the podium.
Y/N watched as Albon mounted the podium, grinning to the feral screams of the Williams mechanics to her left. She’d ended up wedged between James and Toto, smiling at James’ excitement on Alex being on the podium. She smiled at him as the noise from the Williams side of the podium celebration. He smiled back, almost bouncing up and down by the excitement of what Williams was achieving. And as Lewis, George and Bono bounded onto the podium, bringing up a round of screaming and even Y/N raised her hands. And as she raised her right hand, she could feel Toto’s hand, still intertwined with hers. She smiled, locking eyes with Toto.
His eyes twinkled as he smiled down, before his attention was brought back to the podium and yelling at the drivers.
The German and British anthems blared out, and while Y/N knew most of the words of the British anthem (it was mostly just the same words on repeat ‘god save our king’). And while Toto was able to sing the German anthem while Y/N butchered it here and there. She loved listening to her husband singing or talking in his natural language. It was very hot, if Y/N had to admit it.
As they left the podium to go back to the garage, Toto had still not let go of her hand as they continued winding between what felt like millions of people crowding the pit lane.
When they finally returned to the Mercedes garage, and walked up to Toto’s office, Toto finally let go of Y/N’s hand and started to gather up his work and laptop to get ready to return to the hotel.
“Hey, toto?”
“Yes liebe?”
“Why were you holding my hand?”
“Well, I didn’t want to get lost, and I didn’t want you to get lost, liebe.”
“Yeah, but why didn’t you let go of my hand when we got to the podium”
“Do I need an excuse to hold your hand, darling?”
“No but…”
“Then I kept holding your hand because I wanted to keep holding your hand. Is that a good enough excuse?”
“Okay Liebe.”
Toto put all his files and laptop in his left hand after shrugging on his overcoat, and then offered his right hand to Y/N.
“Can I keep holding your hand liebe?”
“Of course you can darling.”
---
taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3
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ssahotchnerr · 8 months
Note
hello hello, aaron thought incoming: i just KNOW aaron would destroy every single one of the team members during a game of beer pong, which leaves them all standing there like 😦 and reader finds it incredibly hot (bonus if reader and aaron are a couple and flirt throughout the entire evening)
if you don’t want to write something about this, it’s totally fine!!! just wanted to share this thought with one of my favorite writers <333 hope you have an amazing day!!!
thank you for thinking of me and for sharing!!!!!!! and omg yes yes YES
i feel like in college, aaron went to the occasional party, BUT in high school, he went to parties weekly. if someone was throwing a house party on a friday or saturday night, he was 100% there. all his friends frequented parties. like he had just gotten back from military school, and while it shaped him a ton, he still wanted to rebel a bit - his bad boy tendencies hadn't gone away completely, he just had a bit more control over it. like in his high school, he was the guy who was a bit nerdy and followed the rules and all, but he got along with everyone. and so he was always invited to numerous things, and he wasn't afraid of letting loose at such. he was one of the cool not-so-cool guys, if that makes sense. AND everyone totally had a crush on him 🤭
when he and haley got together, he mellowed out a bit and stopped partying as much, but when they would go to the occasional party together, she was always his beer pong partner 😭 UGH just the vision of a young aaron at a party >>> 😵‍💫 with haley glued to his side, his arm around her waist at all times </3
and so, he's had a ton of practice and experience when it comes to beer pong:
SO now, you're all having a get together at penelope's apartment - like one of her day of the dead parties - she and derek set up the beer pong table. it's a few games later when aaron's asked to play; he agrees but mentions how he "may be a little rusty" and everyone thinks he's saying that simply as a cover - like oh he's going to be shit at it but that's his excuse why 🙄 BUT clearly they're wrong and HE destroys everyone.
and while everyone else is dumbfounded and questioning everything they thought they knew in life LOL, you just can't pull your eyes away from him 😮‍💨 aaron's wearing a short sleeved shirt, so you can see his muscles flexing every time he raises his arm to toss a ball. or you can't help but stare at his neck every time he raises his head to drink a cup 😵‍💫😮‍💨🤤 he's just oozing confidence, he's cocky in a nonchalant attractive kinda way - like he knows he's good and isn't afraid to show it <33333333 and he's showing off for you, to impress you and he's just glowing every time you cheer him on, it just urges him on 🥰 he's laughing and smiling and just looks relaxed for once, simply enjoying himself.
hehe i love to think this would take place when aaron and you are just in the very beginning of your relationship too 🤭 nothing is labeled just yet, but you know he has a thing for you, and he knows you feel the same 🥰 the two of you have shared some kisses, spend your weekends together, AH hehe and all the beginning-of-relationship nervous jitters are still there 💓💕💓💓
he's driving you home (he didn't drink too much and isn't tipsy or anything - don't drink and drive 🫵🏻) and you turn to him, all flirty, amused, still a bit in shock, and say, "i didn't know you were a master at the art of beer pong"
he chuckles a bit, eyes shift from the road to you for a moment 🦋, a small smirky smile tugging at his lips and he responds, "there's a lot you don't know about me" 🤭 <33333333333333
527 notes · View notes
plsdonttakemyname · 1 year
Note
You dont have to feel like you gotta do this, bc i know sm ppl r too out of their comfort zone with it, but would you consider:
Poly!Soukoku? Like Dazai / reader / chuuya?
Fluff HCs?
Ig if you wanted more fun stuff (pls dont do it this is too much!) What do you think would be a good ability for an S/O of them to have?? :0
I have this one idea where their just a sort of puppet master and have strings that they can latch onto ppl and physically move them around, or even mess with memories (the non-passionate/deep seated ones) bc i thought Dazai would like the different ways it could be applied, and Chuuya would think it's badass to watch you just, lower the glowing strings coming out of fingertips attached to like a group of armed enemies and they just like, drop their guns and bow.
Feel free to have fun with this however you want, or delete the request if its too much!
Also the ability i talked abt doesnt have to be readers ability, and these could just be chill headcanons abt their relationship! Whatever works!
Hope youre having a great weekend so far, and I really like your writing!!
Cheers,
Poly Anon ☢️
Poly!Soukoku X G!n Reader
— — — — — — — —
A/n; Hi Anon! Tysm I really appreciate it! I'm glad you like my writing! I hope you're having a great weekend so far too :D
— — — — — — — —
Genre; Fluff, Hcs
Pairings; Chuuya X Dazai X Reader
Warnings; Mentions of Suicide(Dazai), my bad writing, Might has some grammar mistakes 😭
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Now how do I start with this chaotic relationship...
Chuuya would try to kill Dazai from time to time and you have to be there to stop them because of it 😭
I feel like s/o would toy with their opponents with the use of their ability
Mori had assigned you three on another mission together even though one was already enough since the three of you were strong enough but who knows why he assigned you three on a mission like this
Chuuya would be surprised and amazed at the same time when he first saw your ability with his own eyes, sure he has heard about this ability before but he’s never actually seen it for himself before.
Chuuya thinks that his s/o is so badass when they puppet the enemies, making them bow down and drop all of the weapons carried to the battle.
Dazai on the other hand would not really get surprised since this is his first time actually seeing this ability with his own eyes and not hearing it from some stupid book, but he still knew from the beginning
But when the three of you are all bored and out of missions to carry out, you'll all hangout in a bar to spend some time with each other
It's either one of yall ended up drunk OR you all ended up drunk and passed out in the bar 😭
The three of you will always go out to the mall or on expensive dinner dates
You all share the same apartment and that's where things are starting to get really wild
When getting into bed, there is never peace...The three of you would be kicking each other off the bed and slapping each other in the middle of the night 💔
"GODDAMN CHUUYA STOP KICKING ME" *SNORES*
Chuuya Is the kicker,Dazai is the pusher and you're the one that's suffering 😢
Just imagine this, suddenly you woke up at an ungodly hour because you felt a hand slapping your face just to find out it was Dazai slapping you in his sleep and Chuuya is almost on the floor still dead asleep after a long day in the Port Mafia.
You had enough one night and decided to kick them both off the bed and acted as if you're still asleep 😭
It's legit 4am and suddenly you just kick them off the bed "OW" "what...the..fuck..." *Y/n fake snoring noises*
Besides that when it's really peaceful it's either they're both on a long mission or they're ACTUALLY not kicking or pushing each other off the bed.
The three of you likes to cuddle and fall asleep in each other's warmth
"Will you,Y/N L/n, Come double suicide with me?" "no." "OI MACKEREL IF YOU WANNA DIE I CAN KILL YOU NOW STOP ASKING Y/N TO SUICIDE WITH YOU JACKASS" "YOU HURT MY FEELINGS CHIBI.." while you're just busy typing up a report and also trying to calm down
When one of you are on a mission alone you all definitely give each other a goodbye and goodluck kiss before heading out
Besides all of those chaotic stuff happening in your relationship, You all are an unbreakable trio
— — — — — — — — —
That's all I hope you like it </3
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jqhotchner · 25 days
Text
bloom
two
eddie groans as he feels someone tugging on his hair. he tries to keep his eyes closed, hoping that it’s all in his head.
“daddy?!”
eddie opens his eyes and looks to see his only son. his big brown eyes staring right back into eddie’s.
“what’s wrong, peanut?”
aster sniffles. “bad dream, daddy. sleep with you and mommy?”
eddie could never say no to his kids. he lifts his baby boy up and puts him between him and yn. aster cuddles up to his father.
“wanna talk about it, peanut?” eddie asked.
the little boy shakes his head as he puts his thumb in his mouth and falls asleep. eddie and yn are trying to get him to break the habit, but the little boy just looks so innocent and adorable, they’d allow him to get away with murder if they could.
eddie kisses the top of his sons head. he slowly falls back to sleep soon after.
when the sun rises the house becomes hectic! every morning is the same routine. the eldest kids came walking into their parents room, waking both eddie and yn, begging for breakfast, while the youngest starts welling, most likely hungry just as much.
when it’s just yn, wayne and her father come to help the best they can—or eleven depending if she has school or not—when eddie is home, he’d take care of the older kids, making breakfast, while yn takes care of the newborn babies, breast feeding them in the privacy of their room.
“daddy! daddy! daddy! are we having cakes?!” jasmine would scream at the top of her lungs. she has eddie’s personality through and through! she’s loud, adventurous, and playful. she got her mothers looks though—if you ask yn she’d say she’s eddie’s twin—eddie loves his daughter spunk. sometimes they’d get complaints from neighbors, but eddie couldn’t care less!
if his baby girl wanted to loud and obnoxious, goddammit he’s gonna let her be!
“yes, baby!”
jasmine cheers. pancakes are her favorite because she believes it’s actually cake. neither eddie nor yn would correct her. if it got her eating it, it’s a win for the young parents.
eddie chuckles at his daughter. he soon hears someone blabbering as he turns to spot yn holding the twins.
they’re six months today. eddie made a joke about them going to college the other night and yn lost it, tears spilling her eyes over and over. eddie had to comfort her and hold back a laugh.
“how are my favorite twins?” eddie kisses the top of their heads.
poppy and azalea just babble happily. eddie chuckles as he goes back to making breakfast.
when he finished he set the table while him and yn made plates for their kids. yn sets the twins in their bin before the rest of the family sit and eat together.
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during the weekend, yn and eddie normally take the kids to the park! with their oldest two, they’ve both got use to going out and playing due to being in preschool and kindergarten.
eddie chases his eldest daughter while yn sits with the younger kids and kept an eye on the others.
aster currently playing in the sandbox, while lunaria and lily play with their toys near yn, and the twins babbles in their stroller.
“mama, daddy caught me!” jasmine yells.
“he did?!” yn pretends to be shocked.
eddie chuckles as he walks closer to you. jasmine sits on your lap and kisses your cheek. she’s always been affectionate! eddie and yn both coo at her.
“you tired, baby?” yn runs her hands through her hair. she’s got eddie curls for sure!
“no.” she yawns soon after.
“we need to head home anyway, dear. uncle stevie and uncle dusty are coming over!”
jasmine loves her uncle steve and dustin! mostly because they give her treats every time they come around.
“really?!”
“yep! so, let’s get your brother and head out, yeah?”
“yeah, mommy! aster, uncle dusty and stevie coming! gotta go home!” jasmine yells to her brother. yn and eddie laugh at how excited she is.
“kay.” aster walks over to his parents. eddie grabs his hand before picking him up.
“wat we havin’ daddy?” aster curious on what’s for dinner as always.
“don’t know, ask mama!”
aster turns to his mom. “hmm, im thinking spaghetti and meatballs!”
“yum, mommy. love spesgettie.” aster states.
“i know you do, baby. come on, let’s get you all in you car seats.”
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when they get home, yn starts on dinner. eddie goes outside to take a business call. now that the twins were born, eddie is getting back into focusing on the band!
yn is very excited for what’s to come with corroded coffin! especially the money coming in. yn and eddie did alright, they had to with six kids!
eddie still getting money from the band here and there, but corroded coffin still had a little ways to go before they make big money!
yn was also getting money from her agency. she also gets paid every time she post on instagram. but again, it’s not big money!
yn and eddie are still staying in a three bedroom trailer house. they want to be able to get a bigger home so their kids won’t have to split up to share a room.
plus eddie wants yn to have her dream wedding! it’s what she deserves. the big white princess dress, flowers everywhere, all their friends and family, her perfect wedding!
yn tells him time and time again that didn’t matter. she lets him know she’d marry him near a dumpster if she gets to spend the rest of her life with him! but eddie wants his family to have it all!
yn knows it’s because of how he was raised—before wayne took him in and raised him to be the man he is today—
little eddie suffered so much. with his abusive father and his mom leaving him for dry, he didn’t want his family to suffer like he did! he’d be damned if he didn’t show his kids just how much they meant to him.
yn constantly letting him know he’s nothing like his father! their babies are loved and cared for like no other.
when eddie comes back inside the house, steve and dustin are right behind them.
“uncle stevie!” aster being the first one to spot them.
“aster! how’s my favorite little dude doing?!” steve picks him up.
“had bad dream, uncle stevie.” he pouts.
steve frowns. “oh, no! what happened?”
aster shakes his head as he rest it on steve’s shoulder. steve knew he didn’t wanna talk about it. instead he wanted to be coddled. steve would never deny him cuddles.
“daddy, uncle dusty gave me candy!” jasmine yells
eddie glares at dustin. he told him no candy for them until after dinner. “did he now?”
dustin gives his a cheeky smile. “can daddy see?”
jasmine shows her father the small handful of candy dustin gave her. he grabs them before kissing her forehead. “you know the rules, baby?”
“mhm, din first, then candy!”
eddie hums. “good! dinners almost ready. why don’t we all go wash up, yeah?”
“kay!” steve, eddie, and dustin help the kids wash their hands while yn sets the table. soon everyone sits at the table and enjoy dinner.
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eddie and yn put their kids to bed while steve and dustin sit in the living room waiting for them patiently.
when eddie comes back he heads for the fridge, grabs two beers, and one soda. eddie hands one beer to steve and the soda to dustin.
he sits on the couch and turns on the tv. yn comes in view and sits right next to her fiancé. eddie wraps his arms on the back of the couch as yn cuddles up to eddie.
“so, when’s the next big gig man?” steve asked eddie.
“next tuesday! headed to new york city.”
“dude, the big apple? you’re really making it, huh?”
eddie hums as he takes a sip of his beer. yn smiles at him lovingly. “before you know it, corroded coffin will be selling out tickets worldwide!”
eddie laughs. “lets not get ahead of ourselves, baby!”
“you, kiddin’ eds? you’re gonna be a legend! top of the world, dude! bigger than metallica.”
“okay, dustin, now you’re getting ahead of yourself!”
dustin shakes his head. “naw, eds! you’re a star!”
eddie smiles. truth is, he knows the bands making a name of themselves! sooner rather than later they’d have many streams on spotify, apple music, and many buying their cds and more! eddie is one hundred percent prepared for his life to do a complete one eighty.
and everyone else in this god forsaken town could kiss his ass! they all doubted him the moment he came out of the womb. he’s proven them wrong on many things!
they all thought he’d be a criminal, he a good citizen! they all said no one would love him, the smartest most prettiest woman fell for him! they claimed he’d be a shitty father just like his old man, he loves and cherishes all his kids! and they all say he’d stay white trailer trash who’ll amount to nothing, eddie is signed to one of the greatest rock legends out there!
eddie continues to prove everyone who doubts him wrong!
“when you make it big eddie, better not forget us!” steve states.
“oh harrington, i could never forget mister hair himself!” eddie smirks.
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a/n
thank you all for the love so far on bloom! really appreciate it <3
taglist is still open. just comment or message me privately
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e-dubbc11 · 9 months
Text
In Bloom
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: None really, maybe a swear word or two but extra fluffy bunnies and unicorns
Word Count: 2.7k-ish
Summary: Part 1 of 3 (I think) Reader is in a bit of a romantic slump so she buys herself flowers every Friday until one day she finds out they’re already paid for.
A/N: Based on this ask/idea from my lovely lovely Lily @munsonownsmyass I hope you like it, my love ❤️
This girl is single and haven't had anyone in a while. Miss the intimacy. Just to make herself happy, she buys flowers for herself every Friday. But one day, the flowers have already been paid for. It's the same thing the next Friday. Then one day, there's a little note attached to the flowers....
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
“When was the last time you went out on a date?”
Rolling your eyes, those words felt like a hard punch to the stomach coming from your mother.
Your Friday afternoon lunch with her felt like days. It all started with the lunch spot you chose…it wasn’t to her standards but then again nothing was. Nothing seemed to ever be good enough whether it was your job, the clothes you wore, the apartment you lived in, or the sandwich shop you picked for lunch.
It was all beneath her, sub-standard, and you had accepted the fact that nothing you do will ever be good enough for her so you just decided to continue to do whatever made you happy and not worry about what would be pleasing to her.
She tried like hell to mold you into what she wanted you to be, how she wanted you to dress, what she wanted you to do for a living, and even what kind of wedding she had wanted you to have. She didn’t succeed and when you called off your wedding to a man that looked perfect on paper but was a monster behind closed doors, she didn’t try as hard to make you into something that you just weren’t going to be.
She still took not-so subtle jabs though.
“Have a good weekend, hun. Try and get some sleep, you look tired.”
A visit with mom wasn’t complete until she commented on how you looked. It was definitely time to go.
The early autumn wind picked up as you walked from the sandwich place toward the flower shop which was a few blocks away. Your little Friday tradition was just something you had decided to do for yourself every week.
The flowers made your apartment just a little bit brighter and brought a smile to your face every time you looked at them on your dining room table.
You hadn’t really noticed the flower shop before but it presented itself when you needed a little cheering up.
It was after another bad first date, the third one in a row. You were walking home from the bar after yet another Wall Street type asshole had spent the early evening hours droning on and on about himself when the essence of rose attacked your sense of smell. It stopped you dead in your tracks and caused you to shift your eyes from the sidewalk to the door of the flower shop in front of you.
Bouquets of beautiful flowers were in buckets of water outside but so many more caught your eye that were inside so you decided to go in and look around.
“We close in fifteen minutes, Miss. Is there something specific you’re looking for?” The man behind the counter had asked with a warm smile.
You tried to smile back but it only came out as half a smile. “Something to make me feel better after a bad date?” You replied.
His expression tempered and you could tell he really wanted to help.
“Let me see what I can put together for you.” He said.
And he went to work pulling flowers from different buckets and arranging them into the most beautiful bouquet, wrapping them in paper and plastic and securing them with a ribbon. The bouquet was full of carnations, roses, gerbera daisies, and lilies…all in different shades of red and pink. It was almost like he knew they were two of your favorite colors.
Watching him meticulously put those flowers together for you already made you feel better about that night.
“Here you go, my dear. Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.” He said handing you the flowers.
You were absolutely stunned at how gorgeous they were and that was how you met Mr. Campbell, the sweetest little old man with the prettiest flowers in town which kept you coming back weekly for fresh ones.
After the taxing lunch you just had with your mother, it was time to make yourself feel better with your weekly flowers.
“Hi, Mr. Campbell. How are you today!?” You asked.
He shifted his gaze from the bouquet he was working on to greet you, pushing his glasses up that had slid down the bridge of his nose.
“My dear, y/n! Well, I can’t complain…I woke up again so that’s a good thing, plus I knew I’d get to see your smiling face today and that’s ALWAYS a good thing.” He said with excitement.
A wide smile stretched across your lips. “This is my favorite Friday stop, Mr. Campbell!” You said.
The corner of his mouth turned up and he raised his eyebrows. “You sure it’s not the liquor store, y/n?” He asked with a slight chuckle while looking at the bottle of wine in your hand.
You let out a full blown belly laugh. “Ok, well that’s my OTHER favorite Friday stop. You know I like my wine.” You said trying to control your laughter.
“What are you in the mood for today, my dear?” Mr. Campbell asked.
You inhaled sharply and let out a deep exhale. “Well I just had a very long and taxing lunch with my mother so something a little crazy with a lot of colors would be perfect.”
And that’s all he needed to hear. In a matter of minutes he moved from bucket to bucket, picking out every color flower he could get his fragile little hands on and arranged them especially for you into one crazy colored bouquet.
“Awww Mr. Campbell, they’re perfect, as always! Thank you!” You said handing him the money for the flowers and the nip of Jack Daniel’s you bought for him every Friday. “There’s better tasting whiskey out there, you sure you don’t want somethin’ else?”
“No, no…this is what I like y/n.” He said, getting back to the arrangement he was working on when you walked in.
“Ok, well you just let me know if you want something else. I gotta get goin’, I have a hot date with the couch and this wine when I get home.” You said sarcastically.
“It’s Friday night, my dear. You should go OUT on a date!” He said.
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh no, don’t you start with me too Mr. Campbell. My mother said the same thing to me a little while ago. I’ll see you next week.” You said as you waved goodbye and reached for the door.
An incredibly handsome man on the other side of the door opened it for you and ushered you through. He was tall, with dark hair, a short beard, eyes as dark as the night sky and a perfect smile.
You smiled back. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He said.
You didn’t look back and headed for home.
The flower shop after you left.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Russo. The usual for you today?” Mr. Campbell asked.
Billy had his long overcoat tucked under his arm, watching with a smile as he watched you walk down the street until you were out of sight.
“Yes please, Luther. That would be great.” Billy said softly as he paced around looking at all the different flowers.
Mr. Campbell had caught Billy looking at you when you left the shop.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she.” He stated, raising his eyebrows.
Billy thought he had acted nonchalant while checking you out. “What?” Billy asked. “Oh…yes…she is. Was that her first time in here?”
“She comes in every Friday and buys flowers for herself.” Mr. Campbell said.
A sly smirk stretched across Billy’s face. “Well we can’t have that now can we, Luther.”
Mr. Campbell returned the smirk, looked at Billy over his glasses and asked. “Shall I add another bouquet to your weekly purchase, Billy?”
“Yes please, whatever she wants but do NOT tell her I’m the one that paid for them.” Billy said sternly.
“She is going to ask, so what am I supposed to tell her?” Said Mr. Campbell.
Billy rested his hand on the counter and pondered for a minute.
As he picked up his flowers and started to walk toward the door, Billy turned back to Mr. Campbell and said “Just tell her you are sworn to secrecy and she’ll find out…soon, I promise.”
**********
The following Friday after a long day at work, you clocked out and started your walk to the flower shop. The warm afternoon sun grazed the high points of your face as you strolled down the sidewalk just enjoying the crisp fall air, and in no rush to get where you were going.
This was your favorite time of year. Vendors in the street sold warm apple cider and kettle corn, people with their flushed cheeks hurried past you with their hands shoved into their jacket pockets, while a short gust of wind nearly took your hat right off of your head.
Your first stop was the liquor store. Mr. Campbell really enjoyed the nip of Jack Daniel’s you gave him every Friday, he always told you it was the best part of his week and you loved it too. It felt nice to have something steady in your life even if was just a sweet elderly man and a bouquet of self-bought flowers.
The wind caught the door on your way into the flower shop and you had a hard time holding on to it but you managed to close it before it flew off the hinges.
“A little windy out there, y/n?” He joked, barely looking up from the arrangement he was putting together.
You pressed your lips together and replied. “Just a little. I nearly lost my hat, Mr. Campbell!”
“So what sort of bouquet will make you feel good today, my dear.” He asked.
Looking around the shop, the sunflowers caught your eye. “Something with a few sunflowers, I think.” You said.
And off he went picking out autumn colors of burnt orange, bright yellow, and deep red with the sunflowers being the focal point in the middle next to fern like greens. It was a beautiful work of art just like every other week which always put a smile on your face.
As you opened your purse, Mr. Campbell stopped you, waving his hand at you to put your wallet away. “No…no, they’re already paid for y/n.”
You had a confused yet skeptical look on your face. “What do you mean they’re already paid for?” You said.
“Exactly what I said y/n, someone has already paid for your flowers.” He said, with a devilish grin stretched across his face.
“Well, who paid for them?” You asked.
“I am sworn to secrecy, my dear.” He said raising his hand and closing his eyes.
Reaching into your tote bag, you pulled out the nip of Jack Daniel’s. “Ya know I’m not sure you deserve this today but that wouldn’t be very nice of me, would it.” You said, narrowing your eyes at him.
“I’m sworn to secrecy but you will find out soon who paid for them, he promised.” He stated with a slight smile as you waved and left the store.
Who could it be?
For the next few weeks, every time you’ve gone to pay for your flowers they had already been paid for. You even treated yourself to long stem red roses one week, orchids the next and Mr. Campbell STILL insisted he had already been paid. It didn’t matter how expensive the flowers were, you didn’t have to pay a dime.
Every week, you would BEG Mr. Campbell to tell you who was paying for your bouquets but he didn’t fold. He didn’t give up the name of the man buying you whatever your little heart desired that week but he really loved watching you smile.
Finally on week number four, you walked in to pick out your flowers and after putting together your bouquet, Mr. Campbell had a little something extra to add…it was a note that said:
Someone as sweet as you shouldn’t have to buy their own flowers. I hope you’ve been enjoying them. Now look outside…
You looked up from the card toward the door and flashing his perfect smile at you was the handsome man that had held the door open for you a handful of weeks ago. Warmth rushed to your cheeks and suddenly there were butterflies in your stomach as he walked through the door and planted himself firmly in front of you.
“Billy Russo…it’s nice to finally meet you…” He said, extending his hand for you to shake.
You extended your hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Billy. I’m y/f/n y/l/n. So you’re the one that swore Mr. Campbell to secrecy?” You asked.
“Ah I knew Luther would be able to keep my secret, although he wanted me to tell you two weeks ago. He can be a little impatient.” Billy said with a warm smile and a slight whisper.
Looking over the tops of his glasses, Mr. Campbell said. “Well don’t talk about me like I’m not here. And do you have something for me, my dear y/n?”
You had completely forgotten about the nip of Jack Daniel’s in your bag that was meant for him so you reached in the bag and set it on the counter.
“Oh!! I am so sorry Mr. Campbell. Here ya go.” You said.
He took the little nip bottle and walked into the back room, behind the counter. He was gone for a few minutes.
“So what do ya say? Will you have a drink with me? I promise, it will be something better than Jack Daniel’s.” Billy said.
You chuckled a little when you heard Mr. Campbell shout from the back room. “I heard that, Billy!”
“I knew you would, sir!” Billy shouted back. “He has the best flowers in town plus he’s a veteran and I like supporting veteran owned businesses.” Billy said.
You couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. They looked like two endless pools of dark chocolate and they weren’t looking at anything except you.
Moving a stray hair away from your face, you replied. “I do too…I have friends and family that are veterans. Did you serve, Billy?”
“Three tours in Iraq…one in Afghanistan.” He said softly, inching closer to you.
Mr. Campbell surprised both of you when he appeared from the back. “Will you two get outta here! You can learn all about each other over a drink…GO! Get out!” He said, practically shooing you out of his shop and handing Billy his flowers.
“Alright, alright Mr. Campbell, we’re going…I’ll see you next week!” You said as you waved and walked out the door with Billy.
“Well? You wanna have that drink with me, y/n?” Billy asked again.
You bit down on your lower lip and glanced at the ground before capturing his gaze again. “I’d love to.” You said. “But I do have to drop these flowers off at home first so they don’t wilt. I live only a couple blocks from here. And it looks like you have flowers to drop off as well. Can I meet you in an hour? Is that enough time?”
Billy smiled. “That’s perfect…don’t you wanna know where I’m going to drop these off?” He asked nervously before opening the door to his car.
“As long as they’re not going to a wife or a girlfriend, it’s really none of my business Billy. But if you wanna tell me, you’re more than welcome to tell me later or another time. It’s up to you.” You said with a welcoming smile.
Billy looked surprised by your answer, he wasn’t expecting it and ultimately it was his decision of whether or not he wanted to tell you where he went every week at this time.
“Well ok then. So I’ll meet you back here in an hour?” He asked.
“I’ll see you in an hour…and Billy?
He looked up so his eyes were locked on yours.
A big smile stretched across your lips as you said “Thank you for my flowers.”
Billy smiled a wide Cheshire cat smile and winked at you. “You’re welcome, y/n and I will see you very soon.”
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend
If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.
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xhollandlilsx · 1 year
Text
Support - Leah Williamson
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Summary- (request) Could you do a short story where Leah talks about how proud she is of the reader in an interview, as the reader is a world famous actress?
Warnings- N/A
Supporting Leah was something that I knew I’d do until the day I die.
Whenever I had the opportunity I was there, right at the front, shouting like my life depended on it. Williamson written across my back, and an Arsenal badge over my heart, regardless of if I supported them or not.
Filming took up most of my time, but whenever I was back home in England, I made sure to attend every game, training sessions, everything, I always felt bad when I had to disappear for months, but we both knew what we were getting ourselves into when Georgia introduced us.
I was currently sat in my apartment in Canada, curled up in on my sofa with a takeaway pizza and the biggest tub of ice cream I could find since today was my cheat day.
I was watching Leah on the Graham Norton show live, and I couldn’t stop smiling, she looked beautiful, sat there in her black dress with white arm ruffles, her blonde hair curled in a beautiful way, and a smile on her face as she laughed at something Graham said.
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Leah’s POV:
“And I guess it’s that thing because it’s the thing you dream… y-you went into this contest thinking, dreaming of winning it, and you did. Was it what you’d hoped… did it feel the way you’d hoped it would?” Graham asked, stuttering slightly.
“Everything and more, honestly I hope I never ever loose that feeling. Like I wanna relive it, I relive it over and over” I replied with a nod.
“You’re making me emotional”
“But I was bawling on the pitch, so I don’t even wanna get too deep incase I go back to that, my brother says I have the ugliest crying face so…” I replied after letting out a small laugh.
“Do you have an ugly crying face?” Olivia asked with a shake of her head.
“I mean my brother always told me I did, but my girlfriend says opposite, so one of them is lying to me, and it’s probably Y/N to make me feel better” I laughed, thinking of how I knew she’d be sat somewhere watching this like she said she would. Fans in the audience started cheering and clapping at the mention of my girlfriend.
“Speaking of miss Y/N Y/L/N, I think fans were a bit shocked when the two of you announced you were, well you’re together. How did that come about? Because it is if you don’t mind me saying, a very unexpected pairing” Graham asked making me laugh and look down.
“Well, we had a mutual friend, who has been friends with Y/N for a long long time, my friend Georgia, and she turned to me one day and she was like ‘Leah I have someone who’s perfect for you, she’s amazing, she’s in London this weekend, please let me set you two up blind date style’, and I had literally nothing to do that weekend besides football so I agreed, and Y/N showed up.”
“Were you shocked? Did you know who she was before hand?” Olivia asked from next to me genuinely intrigued now.
“Of course I did, she’s Y/N Y/L/N.” I laughed slightly, “No I did know who she was and I was quite shocked, I knew Georgia knew her but I didn’t expect it. And we just clicked, something yeah, something clicked.” I smiled.
“That’s lovely, whats it like, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s it like when you’re here walking down the street and she’s like on posters and billboards, you know, and I know fans have had a massive uproar about how much love they have for her, with her new role.”
“I just, I feel so proud every time I see anything about how well she’s doing, like right now especially since fans are so obsessed with her new character Ellie. It’s sometimes a bit crazy but I’m so so proud of her, she supported me all through the euros and attended all games, training sessions, bought me food, coffee, dragged me out of bed, so now I feel like it’s my turn to do the same.” I smiled as the fans cheered, and clapped. Before adjusting my seating and trying to wipe the ridiculous smile from my face at the mere thought of her.
“Aww-“
“It is crazy though when, like yesterday I was flying back from Canada, as I’d been to visit, and I fly back out on Tuesday, but I was sat on the plane watching whatever rubbish was on the TV’s, and I just remember looking to my left, at some young woman’s TV, and seeing my girlfriend in like an almost sex scene with the character Dina, so that’s still a shock to the system,” I laughed, explaining, “It’s just yeah, it’s new, but I’m still so supportive of her, and when I see fans posting photos of her, she plays Ellie Williams, the older version of her from the game The Last Of Us 2. So the fan base is huge, and I see fans posting these photos, and I’m like wow… she seems mythical”
**********
Your POV:
I shook my head with a smile, trying not to get emotional about how highly the blonde spoke about me infront of thousands of people. I pushed my pizza box away and hugged my knees to my chest, as she spoke more about me from how hot my fight scenes were to the fact she’s never played the game.
My phone was blowing up with notifications, only catching a glimpse of hashtags containing both our names before silencing it, clutching the small red velvet box and keeping my eyes trained on my hopefully soon to be wife.
Part 2?
(Part 2 for Red Card will be out soon)
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smooth-perceval · 7 months
Note
do you write for MOTOGP? If you do can you write maybe some smut for Fabio Quatararo? If not just some fluff
A/N: I literally just re-made my Masterlist to add MotoGP in for you. And I so don’t regret it 😌
“I’ve missed having you”
Fabio Quatararo x Fem!Reader
Summary: Reader and Fabio are walking on eggshells around each other, reader finally speaks to him which ignites something in them both.
Warning: UNDER 18’s DON’T INTERACT!!, smuttish scenes? Somewhat…- swearing, maybe some tears? fluff!! Google translate- my bad writing…
Key: Y/N (Your name) Y/L/N (Your last name)
Word count: 1,227
A/N: this is my first time with “smut” not exactly smut but you know- I wouldn’t say this is smut- but there is still some ‘scenes’ , erm yeah kinda want me some Quatararo.
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When did our relationship get so tense? I would say around the last few weeks of the championship, he was trying to get his points back- and hopefully make the last race his championship secured…
Yet during this time- his been so concentrated on winning I feel like his been loosing me… and it’s horrible to say but it’s true, I follow him around like a lost puppy most days- a silent supporter in the waves of people.
I missed him, even when he was just at arms reach, we barely spoke. Half the time I got a quick kiss on the cheek purely for cameras sake… he barely went near me behind close doors- unless he was asleep and I am then able to tuck myself under his arm- but when I wake his back is always facing me.
Most nights I would sleep before he even came to bed, and them nights I would cry myself to sleep- because I only wondered was there something I’m doing wrong… or was there someone else? Was I maybe not good enough anymore? And his now realising he can do way better… this feeling sucked.
Was he trying to push me away, so that when he does leave me it wouldn’t hurt so much? Because right now this shit pains me. I rather he just rip the band aid off on the first place honestly.
I let Fabio have his space- this weekend finally being the last race of the season, he had stopped using his socials to concentrate on this last race… and stopped speaking to me in general really.
Truthfully, I wanted to pack up and go home… but no I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Tom asked a few times what’s going on- but I had no answer to give I was silently praying he would have something for me, but neither of us knew.
Our relationship was well and truly dead I would say… this weird feeling like maybe he doesn’t love me anymore? It’s easier for some more than lovers to fall out of love- I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him.
He tried his best, he really did. You could see the defeat on his face, and when he entered the garage, got his helmet off he broke down… and I just stood there watching, my heart went out to him.
My heart said to grab ahold of him… my mind said- if he needs you he will reach out. And so I listened to my mind… I waited for him to reach out.
My eyes were brimming with tears also, he deserved to win so much… but if it wasn’t meant to be, then it wasn’t meant to be… a bit like us really- I kind of came to terms with that.
Leaning over I switched the TV off nearby, I like and respect the other riders, but right now- seeing someone getting the cheers Fabio wanted so bad- hurt me also. I thought it would save us all the world of good and not watch.
Outside the garage we could hear the cheers still, but that was better than seeing it. Looking back down at Fabio, my heart fluttered slightly, as he was already looking up at me. Eyes red, lips somewhat swollen and cheeks flushed. Even now he look so effortlessly handsome.
My breath hitched when his hands found my waist, pulling me in and resting his head against my stomach… and as a natural instinct my fingers ran through his hair. This was the most affection I had gotten out of him in over a month, and boy did it feel nice. I was bathing in it- this gave me that little bit of hope that our relationship wasn’t falling apart at our feet.
“Pecco is coming back in- you should go and congratulate him-” I felt him sigh against me through my shirt, before he stood up, our chest just touching. Sympathetic as always, I brung my hands to his cheeks wiping away the stray tears before moving aside. And for the first time in a while he offered a small smile before heading out the team garage.
“Maybe he will talk now-” rubbing my shoulder Tom got up also. “You both need some time to reconnect.” Smiling he then nudged my shoulder leaving me be.
The night was young so they say, but for me and Fabio we were well and truly fucked- well I still had some energy left- Fabio however he was beyond exhausted. And for the first time in a few weeks we actually went to bed at the same time…
We both laid in silence- frightened to talk to one another. Swallowing the little bit of nerves I had, clearing my throat I found the courage to speak up.
“How you feeling?”
“I don’t even know how to answer that question.” Whispering back, his hand slid across the bed taking ahold of mine. And then I knew- my emotions were not going to hold in for long-
“I’ve missed having you…” letting out a shaky breath afterwards, my heart felt heavy.
“bébé… you’ve always got me…” (baby) his body then moved closer on the bed, he was at hands reach- I felt his body warmth slowly start surrounding me.
“It felt like I lost you-”
“Never, you’re stuck with me unfortunately.” I could hear the smile in his voice- even though I couldn’t see him in this dark room.
“I thought maybe you had lost interest in me…” it was now my turn to move closer- this time our chests finally touching.
“Oh, ma jolie fille.” (My pretty girl) and finally his lips pressed against mine- it was something I didn’t realise I needed so badly. Like his kiss sealed the fact that I was being delusional- I had not a worry when it came to our relationship.
So my only question would be.
“Are you sure you’re okay?…” whispering against his lips, I pulled back slightly…
“I will be.” And then he leaned back in connecting us once again. This kiss now saying everything we both needed to each other this past month.
Like a switch something was ignited in us both, his innocent kissed turned more hungry, making their way down my neck, biting down on the spot he knows so well. And without any control a low moan escapes my lips- causing me to bite down on my bottom lip suppressing anything else that dared to be voiced.
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you moan in over a month-” his breathing become ragged- as if that alone was enough for him.
“You sound like a song.” He shuffled his body now hovering over the top of me, settling himself between my legs. My body ached for him- his hands gripped my thighs, and pulled me down the bed and against him, then toying with my/his top, sliding it up and exposing my stomach.
“A song I want on repeat.”
And as he moved down, my shorts followed along with him… humming to his words, my hands found his hair, running through before gripping ahold- catching his attention.
“Show me why they call you El Diablo.” I squirmed under his touch, my body getting hotter by the second.
“How about you moan it ma belle.” (My pretty)
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Masterlist
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finniestoncrane · 4 months
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12 Days of Kinkmas • Day 7: Voyeurism - Dano!Riddler x GN!Reader request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist • dividers minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: voyeurism, stalking, creepy eddie my beloved
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The way the christmas lights twinkled around the window frame offered Edward the smallest semblance of festive cheer. Usually, the holidays only served to remind him of everything he had never had. But this year, he did have something. He had you. And that was really getting him into the spirit of things.
With his palms clutching the window sill, he carefully eased himself up slightly, looking over the edge of the frame and into your bedroom. He watched you carry the presents you had bee wrapping and hide them in your closet, sighing in pathetic melancholy and wishing they were for him. He could pretend though, and the daydream waarmed him, even as he crouched in the freezing cold.
It was enough to have him humming Christmas songs to himself, finding himself in a good enough mood to recite the ones they were allowed to sing in the choir for fun, when he was young and still hopeful.
"He's making a list, checking it twice..."
Eddie hummed dreamily, eyes widening as you removed the sweatpants you were wearing and stepped around the room in your underwear. He was glad that he took the time out of his busy schedule to spend time with you.
"Gonna find out who's naughty or nice..."
His research into the corruption within the GCPD, the interconnecting web between those in charge, those elected, those employed, those who wormed their way in, had only shown him that there was so much more to this. So much evil beneath the surface. But you were the beacon of hope he clung to. This act, banal, perhaps, in comparison to the important work he usually did at night, his own brand of vigilantism, reminded him of why he sought out the bad. It was to protect the good.
The naughty and the nice.
He smiled, only briefly, before catching himself in his lovesick stupor and ducking as you passed by the window on your way into bed. As he watched you he considered how terrifying it must be, for all of the people who weren't him or the Batman. He had been scared before, but now he knew how to fix it. An eventually, he might find the confidence to let you in on that little secret, but for now, standing watch while you slept comfortably would be enough.
"He sees you when you're sleeping..."
Eddie could spend all night out here. He didn't mind the rain. He was sheltered by the overhang of the roof, alone with his thoughts, time to reflect as he stayed by your side.
"He knows when you're awake..."
And once you were awake, he would leave without a trace and get back home for some rest before spending the rest of his weekend dutifully giving himself to the cause.
"He knows if you've been bad or good..."
A thought lingered in the back of his mind though, gnawing away at him like his rats' teeth against the bars of their cages. Chewing at the happiness he felt.
Who were those gifts for?
Who did you love?
And why wasn't it him?
"So be good for goodness' sake..."
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