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#bad comics are my way of coping with art block
niuniente · 6 months
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Not anonymous because I got nothing to hide. Hello, user Niu. Hope you're well. This is to the last anon who got rancid assholes in their comment section saying they're a bad writer and all that bullshit (excuse the swears) that made them stop writing, I say: lock your comment section. Lock everything. Force them to show their faces or actually go out of their way to create burners to be pathetic clowns behind keyboards who are very brave while hidden. That happened to me before (getting comments like that from people who didn't like me and wanted me go and just assholes in general) and yes, it does take a toll on your mental health and your confidence (especially if you're like me and lack it) and affects your self-esteem (which is probably already low, like mine) but this is a hobby. We write because we want to write. We're not getting paid for it. It's a hobby. We're doing it for free. If they don't like it, all they have to do is click back, block and move on. Things are tagged. And if you feel the need to throw ad hominem insults at someone and insult their craft (which could be very embryonic and therefore not a Pulitzer worthy piece or a work of visual art that belongs in the damn Louvre), you're a piece of shit and I hope the bad energy and vitriol you spit at people you don't know because you don't like something they did or them spins right back and slaps you in the face full force. And rant aside, to this anon, aside from the locking the comments and the anonymous asks, I say: write. Keep writing. Out of spite. Make them seethe. Make the froth at the mouth that they could discourage you from writing. Grip this love for writing so hard it becomes part of you and not even God or any deities can break you apart from it. Trust me. I've been there. Writing is what I've always had to cope in my life, these people almost took it from me but the hatred I felt for them for trying to take it from me and the love I had for it was stronger. Don't let hate beat love. Ever. And my inbox is open if you need someone to be angry with. And to user Niu, big hug. You're the MVP. Your comic is fire!
Agreed!
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brockitty-goober · 1 month
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HELLO, GUYS, GALS, AND NONBINARY PALS!! ALSO EVERYONE ELSE OF COURSE!
hi guys!! This is temporary since my old pinned post got lost since I unpinned it. please tell me if u find it :3
I like fnaf, tadc, warriors, WOF, and regretevator!
🇨🇦canadian
basically if you’re homophobic, racist, sexist, p3do, zoo, zi0nist, a k1nk/nsfw blog, etc. just don’t interact, you’ll get blocked anyways.
I hate KOSA!
my pronouns are she/they or ze/hir! so technically if you called me by she/her pronouns it would mostly be correct. you just misspelled the hir 💀 (please don’t call me by she/her tho)
retired imgflip user - likes drawing - minor
depressed, traumatized, has a lot of intrusive thoughts
WARNING!!! I’m at a new mental low and it has been very bad lately! Please be patient and understanding and I’ll do the same for you. I promise that I’m trying my hardest not to hurt myself in any way. I am now officially seeing a therapist and I’m really happy about that! :3
extroverted introvert
don’t call me by it/its please thank u! 💕💕
asexual, aegoromantic, biromantic, demigirl but questioning (possibly bigender)
Extremely likely neurodivergence BUT undiagnosed
here’s some example art. robux comms may open soon
(this comic is discontinued for now)
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I don’t like to be around mentions of true crime or su!c!d3 (with the exception of small fictional mentions of it).
I create from discontent. Most of my life has been spent being uncomfortable in my own skin. This body is just another house that’s never felt like home. I don’t know how to be at ease in this world or this life. Art is a way of running away, of forgetting myself and escaping to a more comfortable place. To cope with an unhospitable reality, I create more welcoming worlds to consume my work and my waking hours. But the foundation of my art has always been my discontent with the real world and my life within it. Lurking behind the inviting scenery I dream of is the desperate desire to be anywhere but here. It is a world constructed as a respite from this one. Such vivid fantasies are the dream of one who considers reality a prison.
-From What Emotion Do You Create From?
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sprite-real · 2 years
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Hello everyone, doing my introduction again, but I feel like it’ll be better hopefully.
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Welcome to my blog where I find things and post random stuff like memes, art, sometimes screenshots of achievements and gameplay. I do a lot more! I do like to write fanfic, I like doing Q&As, overall I just like being a little social despite being socially awkward.
I am an artist for fun, I find all kinds of new games and things that’ll interest me and I am rather indecisive and a bit of a neat freak, (so hopefully I’ll be more satisfied with this intro.)
I like to watch anime, paranormal related shows, crime shows, and I love to read comic books and manga. I’m a bit of weeb so yes I’ve played otaku games and RPGs.
Current favorite animes/mangas are One Punch Man, HxH, Bleach, InuYasha, Demon Slayer, Bungou Stray Dogs, Osomatsu-San and more!
Current games I’m playing are Pokémon Go, Dislyte and Twisted Wonderland, if you want to friend me on Dislyte and TWST, just ask and I’ll give you my codes! I do enjoy connecting more with people who are interested in what I’m interested in.
I love other games too! I love Deltarune, Undertale, Animal Crossing, Sonic and Mario games, Pokémon, dead by daylight, resident evil, Devil May Cry, COD: MW2, and many more.
More about me is in my description!
Also if you want to take a look I made pronouns card here: https://en.pronouns.page/@sprite1987 🩵
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There are also a few ground rules that I’ll set up as it is some of these are a big no! My blog is safe for anyone and they are welcome as long as they don’t do any of the following:
I do not accept any kind of harassment or bullying, it will not be permitted on this blog, because c’mon people, common decency don’t be a jerk.
I do not tolerate any kind of creepiness, like don’t ask such personal questions about me or ask me to draw NSFW, I will definitely not take those requests.
I ESPECIALLY DO NOT TOLERATE PEDOPHILES, ZOOPHILES, INCEST AND CREEPS. Please stay away from my blog, you are not welcome. I will block you immediately.
I do not like dark jokes that include; Self harm and SA. Sometimes I get it’s a way to cope but it worries me and makes me uncomfortable personally, especially when people make those types of jokes and never have been in any of those situations.
If you are a person I have not talked too and just randomly DM without any context, you may be blocked, also spammers of gross weird stuff, I ain’t interested, get a life and just leave me alone. Blocked. (Directed at the stupid bots on Tumblr I hope those burn.)
Oh one more thing! I don’t support creators if they have done bad things but instead separate creator from art. Only times I would find myself supporting the creator is if they had proved themselves to get better genuinely. I do not like drama in general, I’m tired of seeing it, and most of the time it’s usually people who over-dramatize some things… Ofc there are situations in which cases they are VERY serious, and I’ll know it when I see it. Just saying, please keep the drama to yourselves, I’m not interested, nor will I ever be interested. This place here is for fun and silly things :}
Please if any of you guys are going through something, please please, I beg of you, get help, go to your nearest therapist, anything.
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That’s all I have for today folks, if you have any questions I’ll be sure to answer them! :) Will also take some art/fanfic requests!
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Update by future me~ Gasp!
Since I didn’t pin my fanfic blog, posting it here, my masterlist there is pinned so please do check it out if you ever want to! Be sure to read carefully with warnings and guidelines and without further ado… Happy reading!
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mbfarookh · 4 months
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COVID - Condition Of Viral Infectious Delusions
Sitting at home during the COVID lockdown having nothing to do can be quite challenging. Those were the days when we were literally afraid of stepping out.
We were regularly bombarded with a ton of information (useful and useless) via the newspapers, TV news, and the social media each claiming in their own way that the end of the world was near… well, almost near.
No one exactly knew how to cope with this pandemic. Most people, however, were debating as to whether this COVID was natural or man made, an accident or a conspiracy gone wrong. But, what was beyond debate was the tragic loss of lives. The number of lives lost all over the world was catastrophic.
Human nature is such that it strives to see the funny side of life. It seeks comic elements in the throes of despair. No wonder – ‘life lives in spite of death and to spite death’.
Those were the days when my mind would wander and my imagination would flounder (if that is even possible). I began to think more about bacteria, viruses, and the micro-world. My imagination was working overtime. I began to imagine what would be going on in their netherworld, and I fell asleep…zzzzz…
000-000-000
“Good morning, India! And welcome to the SOS News. My name is Carena Vidis. Today, we bring you the latest on Carona Virus.
The corona virus pandemic has been, so far, winning the battle. In fact, it has taken the entire world to ransom. We’re forced to give it the royal treatment it has been demanding.
It’s the Trojan Horse we didn’t know, that entered our body, until it was too late. And, these tiny warriors have found and opened the chinks in our armour for others to enter and play COVID with our immunity.
We were too lazy, and drunk with our own infallibility, like the City of Troy. However, we have escalated the war against this unseen enemy and hopefully, unlike Troy, we shall win”.
Miss Carena Vidis presses a key and a song comes on…
We shall win no matter what
Never ever say we shall not
It is in our mind and our heart
We look cute but are so smart
We shall win no matter what
The fun nights are about to start
After a long fight I'll have a tart
Fighting with germs is a rare art
I’ll sleep after I tear them apart
We shall win no matter what...
Suddenly, the song is interrupted by a flashing sign…
Breaking News!
“It’s not as if we humans are the only ones saddled with this pandemic, news is trickling in that there are problems in the germ world too”.
Deep in the netherworld of microscopic pathogens; the home of bacteria, viruses and other microorganisms, things were not looking good. Even acute life threatening agents like Cancer, Hanta Virus, Ebola, AIDS etc., were beginning to feel jittery of the new kid on the block.
“Our reporter says…
An emergency meeting was called for and held at the highly secured, fortress like, headquarters of ‘Free The World From Humans’ party.
Cancy Onco, from the Cancer faction and General Secretary of the party, spoke at length about the new threat to their hegemony. The party has a presence in every country and, therefore, it is important to know what transpired in the meeting with regard to recent cataclysmic developments.
Mr Onco, in his opening address, opined that they should all remain united despite the factions in the core committee. He also spoke about the long haul that lay ahead. He requested all factions to bury the hatchet and join their RNAs and proteins to fight the new imposter who was threatening to take over the microbe world.
Onco advised all party members to tune in to the macro world to understand the gravity of the problem facing them. He said the humans were panic-stricken and locked themselves in their houses. Nobody was taking liberties; they also adopted a strict regimen of hygiene and cleanliness. That, according to him, was bad business for the microbe world”.
“We thrive in filth, and the recent focus on purchase of hand sanitizers and house cleaning liquids by humans is driving us out of business”. “We can’t allow that to happen”, he stressed with authority.
Miss Carena Vidis, “We provide you with further specific details received just now through our mole, Mr Gene Marburg, and we believe they are authentic.
Here is rest of the transcript of the meeting…”
Gun Chigun, from the Chikungunya faction, “Sh-t, where did this guy come from, how dare he usurp our territory?”
Jon Den, Dengue faction, “Oh, he jumped parole and hitchhiked from Wuhan”.
“How come, we didn’t know of this dude before”, asked Miss Mos Anophelia of the the Malaria(India) faction. “ Was our intelligence compromised?”
Mr Onco, “No, this guy is adept at disguises, first he appeared as SAARS, then as MERS and now as Carona or COVID.”
There was a collective gasp before an uneasy silence took over. All the members looked visibly shaken.
“How do we deal with this jerk, can’t we send some sharpshooters, maybe snipers, to liquidate this scumbag?” volunteered a confident looking Tubercool Rao of the Tuberculosis(India) faction, also a senior party member.
“No!” said Mr Onco, “Like I said before, he is good at disguises. Our intelligence says that he has many duplicates, as well. He also has access to 1200 WMDs, Protein Bombs, that could destroy the microbe world. So, one mistake could lead to a microbe world war, and we can’t afford that.”
Hiv Aiden, of the AIDS faction and President, “Mr Onco is spot on, we’re hiding with great difficulty from the humans. We must not give away our hideout, even if we have to bear the pain of drugs and chemicals dumped on us”.
Mr Onco’s heart surged with pride as he remarked, “In addition, people from my faction also have to bear the ignominy of Chemo and Radiation. It’s not something for the weak hearted”. He never lost an opportunity to inform the committee of the sacrifices they had made.
“The way the humans are seized with a fear psychosis, I fear they could do something covidiotic and direct their war against us instead of this duffer”; said an enfeebled Scrach Luper representing the almost defunct Leprosy faction.
It was a genuine concern and the old Luper knew a lot more about human behaviour. He was also a highly frustrated relic from the middle ages. He never forgot the fact that if it hadn’t been for a certain Jesus Christ, his faction would have been all powerful and he could have been elected the party general secretary. Now, all his supporters do is scratch.
The atmosphere in the hall was filled with trepidation, but there was also an eerie silence. All the members were lost in their own thoughts. After an eternity of self-introspection, someone dared to speak.
Histos Enteb, head of the ‘Bloody’ Diarrhoea faction and reeking of stale blood croaked, “Why can’t we wait in ambush until this douchebag enters the human body, and then attack him from all fronts?”
Mr Onco, displaying his great knowledge and capabilities, which was one of the reasons why he was successful in clinging to the all-important post, negated the suggestion “Mr RNA Covid, I believe that is his real name, has trained his followers to enter the nasal passage and immediately occupy the lungs.
There, they sit in hiding and multiply and build up an army before they are ready to strike. By the time we realise, it’s too late for us to besiege his bastion. All we can do is sit and pray, this guy can infect humans at an alarming rate”.
Clostros Bots, Vice President FTWFH and also Gen. Secretary of ‘Anti Human Party’ and belonging to the Botulism faction, is a ‘bacter’ who loves isolation and solitude. He seldom speaks, unless there is something worth speaking about. He had been observing the proceedings with a sense of detachment only he could summon. At last he spoke.
“Why do we have to fight this guy and his legion of followers?” He said. “Really, we don’t need to. The humans are doing a good enough job. They are using up all their resources in their war against this Covid bloke. It looks like they’ll succeed in the long run. That’s good for us too, in the meantime, we can lie low and continue to add to our stockpile of weapons.
We also need to develop a reliable defence against the Protein Bomb. After the battle drags on for a year or two, both the parties will be weak and lacking in resources. That will be the time for us to grab the situation to our advantage. If this guy is smart, as I think he is, he will surrender and forced to join our party. Additionally, we can dangle a carrot for him to take the bait, we can offer him the post of Party Spokesgerm”.
“In my opinion, it is good for our business to have him on our side rather than have him working against us”. Saying this, Clostros Bots took a deep breath and slowly sat down in his aluminium can.
The entire committee was struck by the simplicity and clarity of thought. They were wondering why it didn’t occur to them before.
Cancy Onco sprang to the dais and without further ado seconded the proposal. “Has anyone any objections to this brilliant idea?” he roared. All the members stood up in unison and kept on applauding. Cancy Onco took that as a unanimous approval and the motion was passed 121 to nil.
The satellite link from Gene Marburg was lost as he quietly and surreptitiously slithered away from his vantage position moving out with a sense of pride that was not misplaced. He had done his job, now, it was left for us humans to take the war to the nether world of microbes. However, first we had to deal with the immediate job on hand - COVID 19.
Miss Carena Vidis was back on the screen, her face radiant as the morning Sun. She knew it was one of the most important scoops of her ten year career, and she was working non-stop for the last 14 days to get this scoop, if everything went right, she could get a substantial raise.
“This is the SOS News, this was an exclusive scoop we brought to you. Please stay tuned for further updates… and now, the headlines…”
As she was reading out the headlines, she felt a tightness in her throat that wasn’t there a few moments ago. The itching in her throat too was growing… and then, came the first of many coughs. All at once, pandemonium broke loose.
000-000-000
In the pandemonium, I could discern a continuous beeping sound, it kept growing like the horn of a car approaching me. I was groping in the dark to locate the source of the sound, which was now more like ringing. I found something, the ringing stopped. I feebly opened my eyes, my hand was holding a table clock and my forefinger on the alarm off button.
mbfarookh ©
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enduracarrotchips · 3 years
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what if,,,,you tried to say ily but she misread it and thinks you’re a surfer dude,,,
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fiore-rosewood9 · 3 years
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♫FrUk :D
Thank you for the ask, I will send a few songs that remind me of fruk, a whole playlist if you may, not only one song. I also touch a few of triggering topics as I explain the nations's personalities and relationships with one another so I apologize in advance if I upset/trigger someone and will put my trigger here - Warning - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, s*exual trauma. Under the explanation there is a playlist of songs that make me think of Ukfr/Fruk, so if anyone gets upset you can feel free to skip my general headcanons about fruk/ukfr relationship dynamics. There are too many songs that make me think of different characters or ships but I collected the ones that make me think the most of them.
I know the original song is by Lady gaga but this version is too sweet and cheesy for me so I chose the rock cover by the group Halestorm since I prefer it, it sounds more genuine and rough and kinda makes me think of the dynamic that ukfr/fruk has, that some people present is as just the enemies to lovers trope or them just fighting which is.....simply unhealthy????? Fruk is much more than that and I wish people would stop seeing it as a two dimensional thing, yeah they do argue on a lot of things and it is not the healthiest dynamic however it does work in my mind because they stick through thin and thick and that requires effort and true love since a lot of people nowdays do not take time to know the other person, they just jump into marriage and have a few divorces and just argue over everything and then separate, fruk is an off and on thing where they break and make. This kind of dedication is hard to find in today's couples. I know they're fictional characters and no one really cares but I practice my psychology skills and my knowledge of people around me, and I sometimes see people with similar or almost the same characters as fictional characters, they may not have all of their hobbies but they do act the same way. And certain pairs, no offence, just make me want to gag my self due to history with bad and toxic fans but if I look at it subjectivly and never encountered mean fans from a certain ship, I would say that they ship simply doesn't work. No ship bashing but as far as I know, people with this kind of personality from this ship that I dislike, and get upset when seeing fan art of, simply just do not get along and had a hard time divorcing, it is not only unhealthy and unbalanced, it is downright abusive because both partners seek control and to have the upper hand and this is not...what romance is about???? It is about two people taking care of each other, understanding personal space and boundaries, lifting each other up and yeah, they will argue a lot, sometimes for small things, sometimes for bigger things, but generally the point of romantic relationships is not someone using you, or abusing you financially and generally being better or bigger than you. This breeds insecurity and jealousy in the other partner and makes them feel inadequate. Usually such problems are not talked over and one of the partners acts passive agressive which is what ultimaltly leads to said divorce. So yeah, people can go away with their (BUT IT IS CUTE, IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE) pairing because real life pairings and how humans communicate and develop friendships and relationships isn't based on what your mind conciders and doesn't concider cute and there are lots of factors on whether relationship will ever happen like common interests, type personality, etc and just block me so I will never hear from them and their childish mindset ever again, which is why I blocked certain tumbrl fan art hetalia accounts who produce art of a pairing I (dislike) lowkey hate, for historical reasons, for manga reasons, for toxic fans who bullied me and made me go on 3 hiatuses reason and ultimatly in real life experience and psychology and how humans and the human mind works and what is healthy and unhealthy reason. Why should I support something where certain people have been hateful towards me and these same people that act like these characters and I know in my life are on bad terms in real life? Why shouldn't I just move on to something more realistic and more healthy, that I have seen that works with humans I know first hand? I am not a clinical psychologist and I have no power or saying in this but I had to write thesis and read books by psycholgists and analyze them in high school and my first year of Uni, in order to pass the year and I have also read reccomended books by a psychologist I went to because I wanted an advice on how to deal with my anxiety and talking to people, because my condition is extremely severe but I honestly feel stuck and try to improve but also feel confused, I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough to
self improve as a human. I sometimes come off as too cold or overly bitter and angry without intending to, and it sucks.
Francis is a really manipulative person and Matthew picked up that from him while part of Alfred's agression doesn't only come from confidence in his own abilities but the fact that England him self is an overly agressive person and is very dominant or at least used to be for a very long time, now he is more mild to keep his gentleman persona but he does suffer from severe anger issues which he hides while Alfred is prone to breaking things and screaming, Arthur is more prone to being rude, sarcastic and generally mean before he loses it. Matthew and Francis do not engage in fight if they can avoid it which is why sometimes people call them cowardly I think? And Matthew is a bit prone to being a codependent people pleaser as far as I see and he seems to have severe anxiety issues. Francis albeit charismatic and beautiful, is deep down in his core lonely.
I think that part of his pervertedness, shocking people with his s*xual humour and all of this sex obsession comes from trauma in his childhood and dressing like a girl. I wouldn't explain what the trauma in question was since it is not canon but I do headcanon that he had s*xual trauma and it is partly why Hungary dressed like a guy. I don't know if this is legit, it is bias from reading too much japanese fan comics relating to hetalia or just general history of humans and how they treated consent and what is moral today, wasn't amoral or against the law a few centuries ago, but I have seen artists touch on it. I think both Arthur and Francis suffer from neglect and they weren't particularly good fathers, in fact no country is, the whole FACE family is dysfunctional and while I love all of them, I kinda pity them. I think Rome was a bit discriminatory mostly towards France and never towards his other children while Arthur had to constantly prove him self and was bullied by his brothers. While other nations have suffered from trauma too (I headcanon that Prussia was burnt on stake and people threw rocks at him due to his albinism and being left handed) something similar happened to Arthur, who I headcanon that he was burnt for being a witch and Francis went a few times through the guillotine, or Arthur still having a bullet scar on his arm from the American revolution or Francis having nightmares from that day where Jeanne was burnt and waking up in his own sweat. Arthur also must suffer from workholism and alcoholism, judging by how much he works and goes to pubs to drink. Everyone chooses their own poison and how to cope with life and many use unhealthy coping mechanisms, hell, even I used unhealthy coping mechanisms a lot in the past and I am not proud of them, in fact, I try to improve.
I can talk about their history and how it relates to their mental health and what scars they have for hours but I would bore you. You came for a song and I am probably boring you so I apologize for writting a lot of words, in advance. I basically think that fruk/ukfr is the ultimate ship for many reasons because they click, I do ship spuk/engita/asakiku and many other things but fruk/ukfr is kinda like butter and bread, it is a great combination. I never said it is 100 percent healthy, however their relationship makes psychological sense and their personalities click. I know people like to present arthur as this dumb tsundere man that blushes and says baka, or he is this garbage rat dad that no one likes or francis is presented or at least used to be this perverted sex machine that touched other countries inappropriatly or at least the 2012-2015 fans saw him this way and while he still has the reputation of a pervert, what many young people in the fandom see as disgusting, I just see as an overly lonely man that just happens to have high libido and copes with it by having casual sex and just has a sex humour, the same way some people have fart jokes humour or darker, more cursed humour, I am really glad that fans mostly left off this whole - Francis is a r**ist and will grope you, in the past, because honestly r**e is not joke and as a character he clearly understands consent and boundaries and I don't think someone like him would do such a thing. Also Greece and Turkey have even higher libido than him and sleep around more, yet he is the ''pervert'', I don't get it??????????? but fruk is just so much more than opposites attract, they have a lot in common so I can't say they're full opposites, no one is truly. I have heard people ask why does anyone ship fruk when it is just opposites attract/enemies to lovers trope and I am honestly confused, because that is extremely rough generalization to say the least, it is like saying - All men/women are the same, it is simply wrong/uncorrect. I think they ''married'' five times - The Treaty of Paris (1657) formed an alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French Alliance (1716–31) formed another alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata (1845-1850). The Anglo-French joint invasion of Qing Dynasty (1856–1860). And the last one which is their official marriage The Entente Cordiale (1904) fought together in both World Wars. As far as I remember Francis tried to marry Arthur but he refused and why he refused is up for subjective opinion but I must write a whole thesis on why Fruk/ukfr works so well and people are not here for that, they're here for the music and I will provide. I also always saw Francis as the more gentle and more submissive partner, I just love to see him drawn in frilly beautiful dresses with bows and stuff and Arthur as the more dominant, I mean as a country he was a powerhouse during the 1600s-1800s and used to be a punkrocker, usually rockers are mentally tough and that man is extremely cunning and witty so...people drawing him as this useless baka uwu overly feminine anorexic boy that looks more like a tween rather than a 23 year old guy just assasinated his character in my opinion and it disturbs me but I am just some awkward human on the internet and no one values my opinion anyway because this is the internet and many people nowdays love to have hot takes and try to gain followers through clickbait stuff which sometimes goes out of control and everything just seems more fake and shallow to me, the more old I get.Okay that was my silly rant no one asked about but I feel really passionate about hetalia and Fruk/Ukfr. Anyway, I apologize again for my long rant and going all over the place, please enjoy this playlist
PLAYLIST WITH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF FRUK/UKFR
1 - Halestorm - Bad romance - rock cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4NJs3NBIU
2 - Queen - Somebody to love - lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj69iA_goIk
3 - ABBA - Voulez vous - (I know everyone chooses Waterloo and while waterloo is a fruk theme, I think Voulez vous works too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcgMVXuBJc
4 - London beat - I've been thinking about you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixBryyQSrD8
5 - Santana - Smooth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc
6 - George Michael - Careless whisper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ
7 - Robbie Williams - Feel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk
8 - Michael Buble - Feeling good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI
9 - Edith Piaf - La vie en rose - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4
10 - Chopin - Marriage d'amour (Spring waltz) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE
11 - Vanessa Carlton - A thousand miles - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERw2LuU6Jj8
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gooseking · 3 years
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Y’all, I know it’s 5:30 am and I need to be up by 9 am, but I just wanna get sappy with y’all for a bit. I really do appreciate the support I’ve gotten for Hiraeth so far, and I can’t wait for what’s to come. I never would have thought that anything that happened during my first semester of college could happen (my girlfriend breaking up with me, getting carpal/ulnar tunnel in both arms, moving to Chicago, etc.), but after all of that happened and things started to get better (once I had my surgery and got away from that ex for a while), I feel like I’ve become a new person. Ever since I had that creative block due to me not being able to draw because of the pain and letting it out after my surgery, I truly feel like I’ve opened a new chapter to my life. It was 8 months ago that I started developing the characters and the story, 3 months since I released the first page. Here we are, at the end of Chapter 1 (the last page is going up once I’ve gotten settled into my dorm and at the usual time on Tapastic), and I have y’all supporting me here, 21 people subscribed to the comic on Tapastic with over 450 views. Y’all have been super amazing with motivating me to do better. With being genuinely interested in my story and my characters. I cannot thank you guys enough for just being here and interacting. 
I’m gonna be completely honest with y’all, Hiraeth has been probably my biggest “success” with art and stories. Growing up, I’ve been the same. Drawing, creating stories, making my own characters, I’ve been doing that since I can remember. It only grew when I got in the creepypasta fandom (aka my cringiest phase I ever went through), and I started writing my own creepypastas. My family honestly demonized my stories and characters. I was told that I would be the next Jeffery Dahmer because of the horror stories I wrote. My family never listened to my stories. I didn’t give up. It was in my blood to create. I then made Elements (which was an early early EARLY concept I had, dating back to early middle school), and people seemed to like it on DeviantArt and Tapastic (getting many people to join the contest I held and accumulating 1.2k views on Tapastic), but I didn’t properly flesh it out and it burned out like a match. My family still brushed off these stories. Between the end of Elements (2016) to when I started developing Hiraeth, I had so many concepts for stories, but never fleshed them out due to a creative block or not getting enough support from my family. Once I started Hiraeth and became passionate about it, my family supported it (for the most part, minus my dad who calls it “weird” in a bad way). I talk about how y’all support the comic and how well it does when I have view spikes on Tapastic or when y’all interact with it, and how I’m genuinely surprised by it, and my mom replies with a genuine, “Because it’s really good!!” Like Fletcher, I have severe self esteem issues. I don’t see how I could make something that people could possibly like, even though that’s my dream. But with Hiraeth, I see it as something that helps me emotionally. I pour my heart into this comic because it’s me legitimately coping with stuff I can’t really control about myself. It gives me control over something I can’t control in myself, even if it is just “make-believe”. I never expected for people to genuinely like it. I mean, I made the characters at 4 am while being high off my ass on pain medication. One of the characters was even an old creepypasta character that I decided to rework to be a part of Hiraeth. 
I might start repeating myself if I keep typing, and it’s now past 6 am, so I’m just gonna wrap it up by saying a big, HUGE thank you to you guys. Every share, every reblog, every like, every view, it really means a lot to me, and I see and recognize the people regularly interacting with my posts. Y’all are all super amazing, and I literally cannot thank you guys enough for sticking with me through this and supporting me like you have. Thank you.
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excaliefur · 4 years
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Cathy’s Relationships with the other Queens
DISCLAIMER:
I have written this around what Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss have created, it is not 100% realistic in what happened in history. It is not written around any of the actors, they are not their characters. 
This can be read with platonic love, familial love or romantic love. Read it however you want. !They are not based on the actors! I cannot emphasize that enough!
Its a character study from my point of view, I may write some other fics about somethings I have mentioned here, I already have a plan for the Elizabeth Incident.
TW: Swear words and like some words that aren’t nice I guess?
Catherine of Aragon:
It’s a mother daughter relationship. They weren’t close in the past life since her father died early on in her life and her mother needed to be able to provide for them. Also because Catherine simply didn’t have time and she had other duties to do. Cathy heard a lot of stories about Aragon from her mother, Maud, Aragon’s lady in waiting. When Maud passed away, it killed her. But now in the reincarnation era, she could hear stories about Maud from Aragon. Besides that, they had helped each other a lot from the beginning.
Aragon helped Cathy when Cathy was facing writers block, nightmares, trauma, survivors guilt and many other things, she was a non judgmental figure who was there for her all the time, out of everyone, Cathy was probably the most open to Aragon. Cathy was a common sense filter for Aragon, when she needed to rant about her problems, when she needed another persons opinion, whenever she just needed a shoulder to cry on, Cathy was there for her. On quiet days, they can often be found together, just reading or softly discussing odd things. Aragon is teaching Cathy Latin, and its going well considering the fact that Cathy already knows Spanish, is learning French and German, and she is obsessed with William Shakespeares works. Cathy is helping Anna and Aragon improve their English. 
Anne Boleyn: 
Anne and Cathy had a lot in common. At the beginning, they barely acknowledged each others presence, they bonded when Kat ran away, and when Jane decided to take part in the annual prank war. Soon they were inseparable, they did everything together, they read together, ate together, analysed works of art and slept together (not that way, get your head out of the gutter) Cathy comforted Anne from nightmares and vice versa. That was before the Elizabeth incident. They don’t talk about it anymore. It took time for them to regain each others trust, but slowly they did. And their relationship regained the same level of closeness, maybe even closer. During prank wars, they are almost never allowed to work together, because of Anne’s intelligence partnered with Cathy’s common sense. They are a force to be reckoned with. Normally, Anne comes up with outlandish plans that go against all of science, and Cathy splits up the parts that wont work and fix them so they will. Anne then takes psychology in to hand and they both manipulate their targets right where they want them. Both of them are master manipulators, although Anne hates using it for evil. 
Cathy’s lies saved her life once and now she only uses it for good and she guides Anne as well. Contrary to popular belief. Anne Boleyn is very intelligent and very well rounded in many aspects. She does crosswords daily and she works with Cathy on puzzles and riddles that are very hard to crack. When they went for a team bonding escape room, Cathy and Anne worked out every puzzle. Anne loves to learn and especially with Cathy since Cathy never judges and already knows Annes capability, they are often found watching how do they do it or how is it made together. Sciences are their favourite subjects to learn together although both of them are highly skilled in the arts. Anne and Cathy have a plan to make a comic book series someday, although both of them are master procrastinators. Anne is teaching Cathy french. 
Jane Seymour:
Jane and Cathy had a lot of history, even without ever having met in their past lives. They both died the same ways and Cathy married Thomas Seymour, Jane’s brother. So they were sister in laws and married to the same guy. A bit awkward to talk about. They didn’t ignore each other but they weren’t fighting to spend time with each other. They got so bad that when they began to work on the musical, Cathy, the resident writer. Sat down with everyone individually to get their stories and they would work together to figure out which parts to keep in the musical and which to cut out, for a variety of reasons. But they avoided the conversation for months until the final deadline was approaching and they had nothing written down for Jane’s part. 
Catherine (Aragon) took things into her own hands and forced both of them to sit together and speak, she was there to make sure they stayed but once both of them broke down, she left them to talk. They both broke and started crying, Cathy and Jane had a talk and settled their differences. Now they have a sibling relationship, Cathy protects Jane and vice versa. Jane is often found dragging Cathy from her laptop and forcing her to sleep and cutting her off from coffee when she was close to a caffeine overdose. Cathy had overdosed several times, and every time, Jane had been by her side when she was given activated charcoal and was puking her guts out. Cathy was by Janes side when Jane regained bad memories and had panic attacks from mild fevers and sickness. Jane was terrible when anyone in the house was sick, so if she got sick. It was an all hands on deck situation to calm her and help her rest.
Anna of Cleves:
Anna and Cathy were surprisingly close, they met several times in their past lives, but it was much more formal then. Now they are frequently called the chill squad, they watch from the back seat as shit goes down. Aragon and Jane are the mum squad, Kat and Anne are the beheaded cousins and Anna and Cathy are the chill squad. Anna made witty comments as they watched Anne do something stupid and Kat laughed, and Cathy responded with comebacks as they watch Jane and Aragon yell at them. Anna and Cathy tend to be the laid back ones, and although they seem calm, if you mess with any of the queens, Anna and Cathy are the ones that respond the hardest. Anna has a short temper and is likely to want to yell until her voice is hoarse, which is horrifying and sure to scar anyone, however, Cathy usually comes up with a clever plan that costs the person more than their mental health. Likely their jobs or their marriage. Nothing too extreme. 
They also had their sensitive times. Anna had crippling self esteem issues. What Henry said and did in the past life, may not have seemed to hurt her, but it did; it hurt her bad and she felt awful. While she hid it. Cathy could see through her facade. And broke her down, just so they could rebuild, stronger than ever before. Cathy also had problems with survivors guilt, and who better to help her than another person in the same situation also with survivors guilt. They spent hours talking about stuff they could have done to help others. They ranted to each other, they yelled at each other, they cried to each other. They fought each other as coping mechanisms. Until Aragon found out. Aragon put a stop at those unhealthy coping mechanisms and one day all three of them made a trip to a gym. Aragon told them that they were going to learn boxing. It confused them but they agreed. They took boxing classes for 1 hour and 30 minutes each week and in a year, they were pretty well skilled. Now Cathy and Anna, when they feel overwhelmed by anything. Instead of taking it out on each other, they box fair and square. Cathy and Anna are best friends and can be seen in the gym practicing hard, or on the roof, stargazing and chilling. Cathy loves to learn new things and she spent hours with Anna just learning about Germany and German culture, it helped Anna relieve burden as well. Anna is teaching Cathy German now and Cathy is helping Anna improve her English. 
Katherine Howard:
Cathy and Kat were probably the closest from when they first met. In their first lives, Cathy met both Katherine Howard and Anna of Cleves when she was in Mary I’s household. Cathy is constantly by Kat’s side whenever she needs it. She is the only one who is allowed to call Kat kid. It used to be term of endearment but when Cathy accidentally called her kid, Kat felt safe. They have a sibling relationship where Cathy is the older over protective sister and Kat is the innocent, naive but scarred younger sister. Cathy is the kindest towards Kat than anyone else. She sort of stands behind Kat as Kat does some silly stuff looking intimidating and scaring anyone who would dare to mess with Kat. Kat is oblivious to all of it. Kat generally goes to Anne or Jane for anything to do with nightmares but Cathy is always ready to help her out. Often, neither of them get sleep so they have a Disney movie marathon until one of them fall asleep. 
Kat persuades Cathy away from work using cuddles and her puppy dog eyes. Often times at night when Kat can’t sleep she just enters Cathy’s room and watches her work. Those times Cathy also goes to sleep. Jane and Aragon’s secret weapon when they can’t get her off of her laptop and Anna can’t force her into her bed, is Kat. Cathy cannot say no to Kat. Anne became overly protective of Kat and refused to let her near Cathy during the Elizabeth incident, but Kat broke out of her grip and everyone made up. To this day, whenever anybody goes at Kat, calling her a sl*t or a wh*re, their life will be ruined by Cathy, as much as Cathy would love to deck them. She knows how to ruin somebody’s life by a single phone call. Although Cathy was extremely short, her glare could paralyse a grown man.
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heuffopla · 4 years
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Aw man, I’m sorry you have to deal with all this negative love, the most I can give you as an anon is that, you’re not a burden and you are loved, I get where you’re coming from with friends, I’m very clingy and Im always worried I’m going to lose them. But I think you need to also talk about this to your family, because they do care about you. Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Aww thank you so much, it's really sweet ❤️:')) I'm not too sure about telling my family, I know they care about me but it would just make things awkward I think hfhdj I found another way to cope with my bad thoughts for tonight tho, which is basically to make a whole ass comic on the spot, without thinking too much. I'm on the first page rn XDD It is somehow destroying my art block... thank you for the kind message, getting it all out there already helped a bit 🐕
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10 Questions Meme
I was tagged by both @its-sixxers and @dangernoodleofhell thank you both!!
Rules: Answer these questions, then create 10 new ones and tag 10 people. Since I was tagged twice, I’ll answer all the questions in this post, that way I only have to think of 10 questions instead of 20. Hah!
Questions from @its-sixxers
1. If you could have any kind of art, what would you get? Honestly? There’s some pretty dope ass Fallout fanart out there being sold on etsy, and if I had the money I would totally buy them and plaster them all over my apartment.
2. What’s your favorite MET gala outfit? I have never seen the MET gala, actually, so I don’t know!
3. If you never had to worry about rules or practicality/upkeep, what kind of hair would you have? I’d keep my same haircut, it’s shorter than a pixie, but longer than a military cut. I’m growing it out right now, but that’s mostly because of all the upkeep.
4. Who’d you have a celebrity crush on as a preteen? (If you’re aro/ace or didn’t have one - what band were you obsessed with?) I was in love with Samwise from Lord of The Rings, him and Aragon. Do they count? Lol.
5. Did you ever follow an embarrassing fad/trend? I was kinda scene in high school - dark clothes, lots of bracelets, that kind of thing, so yeah...
6. Favorite musical (If you hate musicals you are free to rant about how terrible they are here)? Les Mis or Hamilton.
7. First social media you remember using (Could be forums, BBS, whatever)? There was a site called my Yearbook that I had for a while until new ownership took over and made it a dating site.
8. Most nostalgic piece of media? Princess Bride. I love it, and it always makes me safe, like I’m a kid again.
9. Favorite outdoor activity? Soccer. I played for 11 years and loved it so much.
10. Do you have a guilty pleasure? Not really? I guess writing Fanfic, since it’s not something I share with most people I know IRL.
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@dangernoodleofhell‘s questions
1.Is there a especial meaning behind your username or just keysmashed? Not really? My first one was Tords-Girl and it was for Eddsworld, but this one is just??? Fanciful? Idk man.
2.You can cancel 1 (ONE) person. For good. Who do you choose? My dad’s wife.
3. A skill you have and no one expected it? I am really fucking good at Beatsaber on the oculus quest.
4.How are you keeping sane while the plague ravages the earth? Mostly. I had already planned on doing literally nothing at all for the month of March, since I just left my last job and needed some recoup time. But now I can’t apply for the job I’ve been waiting for because of the Pause and I’m a little stir crazy.
5.Favorite comfort drink/food? Hot cheetos for food. Peppermint tea with hella sugar for drink.
6.One of your OCs just became real, how fucked are you and the rest of the world? I closed my eyes and pointed at my list of OC, and I pointed at Liam Harper. He’s an ex-courser from the Institue who escaped and ran to the Railroad for a memory wipe. Too bad it fails and he’s trapped between two different memories of the same life. This turns him pretty violent as he copes with his collapsing mind... so as long as you stay away from him you’re probably fine.
7.It’s there a thing/trend you like but it’s labled as “cringe”? Fanfic? Hah! But no, not really? I do listen to Minecraft and other videogame parody songs, but that’s pretty lowkey.
8.Do you make any kind of research before write/draw/create something? How much? Not at all! I just... write. I usually do an outline, just word vomit all over the place. I’ll do minor research if it’s something I’m not familiar with, but I mostly write what I know.
9.You can live in any book/show/movie universe. Which will be (Fan content counts too)? I would die right away, but Fallout 4. I’d totally love to meet all my favorites in real life. That or The 100, shit is crazy and I’d love to experience it first hand.
10. Aren’t you tired of go apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? I have yet to go apeshit, so no, I’m sick of being nice.
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I’m tagging @kvltprince @randomfuzzbunny @crenarei @cramsicle and you questions are:
1. What's your favorite piece of your own content (fanart, fanfic, tv/movie edits, etc)?
2. If you could have any pet, without requirements for space or food, what would it be?
3. What’s your favorite “struggle meal” or “quarantine meal”?
4. Quick you’ve been teleported into last last movie you watched - what is it, and what do you do first?
5. Block ramen or cup ramen?
6. Have you seen that new hype show, Tiger King, if so, what’s your honest opinion?
7. What’s a piece of media you love, but hate the fandom of?
8. Books or comics/manga?
9. 
What’s the worst video game you’ve ever played (if you don’t play - what’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen)?
10. Song you could listen to on repeat and never get tired of?
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precuredaily · 4 years
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Precure Day 167
Episode: Yes! Precure 5 19 - “Seek Out Urara’s Secret!” Date watched: 1 January 2020 Original air date: 10 June 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/AKCFPqO Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout
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And then her relatives got kicked off the set for being disruptive
I had completely forgotten the nuances of this episode when I did my little tease of it in the last review, so I was a little floored when I watched through it and it was so much deeper than the preview made it seem.
The Plot
The girls are hanging around Natts House after school when Urara declares she’s about to leave to take care of some personal business. However, Nozomi barges in and says there are two suspicious figures loitering outside the store. Nuts goes out to ask them to leave, but Urara recognizes them as her father and grandfather. They come inside and introduce themselves to all of Urara’s friends, but when she asks why they were hanging around there, they dodge the question. At that time, Washio, Urara’s manager, also comes in and starts chatting with the other men about Urara’s suspicious behavior recently. Rin reminds the three that they are all still in earshot.
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Urara convinces her family to leave, and then she talks with Nozomi and co about her home life. Her father and grandfather have always supported her earnestly and enthusiastically in her pursuit of acting and entertainment, and we see flashbacks of them being very disruptive at her gigs as a child. Nozomi casually asks where her mother is in all of this, causing Urara to go quiet for a moment before she explains that her mother died when she was very young, so she doesn’t remember her very well. Then she excuses herself and leaves to go do what she needed to do previously.
Nozomi does think she’s behaving suspiciously, so they go outside to see the three stooges still slinking around, and they all agree to follow her and find out what’s going on. They find her in the very suspicious locale of the food market buying ingredients. Her father notices the notebook she’s carrying is familiar, but nothing else seems suspicious. However, Girinma is also watching her, and he kidnaps her when nobody else is looking.
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The girls quickly break off from Urara’s family and track her to a building under construction. Girinma threatens to kill Urara if the others don’t hand over the dream collet, before snatching her notebook and turning it into a Kowaina. Urara begs them not to damage the notebook, claiming it belonged to her mother and has many previous memories attached to it. The four on the ground transform and Mint quickly uses her shield to block the monster’s attack, a barrage of pages. When the dust clears, only Mint and Dream are standing there, as Rouge quickly appears from below a ledge to kick Girinma while Aqua rescues Urara. She quickly transforms herself while the others assure her they won’t harm the notebook. Mint, Aqua, and Rouge restrain its movements while Dream uses Dream Attack to knock the mask off, defeating it. Lemonade lands in front of Girinma and performs a tearful Lemonade Splash attack on him, overwhelming him until he retreats to fight another day.
Outside, the five girls reunite with Urara’s family, who initially chide her for disappearing on them, but she explains she just wanted to make her mother’s curry recipe to make everyone smile like they did in her fondest memory, and they forgive her. They all go back to Urara’s apartment, where she prepares curry for her father, grandfather, Washio, her four friends, and even for Coco and Nuts, and they all love it. Her relatives proclaim it brings back memories for them as well, and they explain how pouring all their energy into raising Urara helped them recover from the loss of her mother. We close on everyone’s happy faces as they ask for seconds.
The Analysis
Precure 5 continues its string of absolutely excellent episodes and touches on some mature topics in an age-appropriate manner. Urara is the first main character in the series with a deceased parent, although she won’t be the last. Off the top of my head, Yuri comes to mind, as does Urara’s spiritual clone Yayoi. It’s a somber reality that some children face, and I appreciate Precure acknowledging it, and addressing the complexity of emotions that go with it. No, Urara doesn’t really remember her mother very much, so it’s hard for her to miss her, but at the same time, she has at least one formative memory that she cherishes, and I get the impression that she misses the idea of having a mom as much as anything. She wants to hold onto that one memory and that one idea, and that’s really powerful.
I love the idea of her trying to keep that one memory of her mother alive through her cooking. It’s all she has, and by god she’s going to lean on it. She cherishes that cookbook, and that memory of her mother’s cooking, and the time they were all happy, and she wants to try to recapture that moment, to remember her mother by cooking that meal that they all loved. It’s nothing, and it’s everything. Sure, to Girinma, it seems like just a random notebook, and on the surface it is, but as with the Splash Star episode where Saki and Mai’s possessions were disappeared, the sentimental value is much deeper than the worth of the object itself. Girinma picks up that it’s worth something to her, and thinks he can use it as a bargaining chip, but his mistake is underestimating how much Urara cares about it and how much her teammates will back her up.
On that note, this edited shot of her stock footage with tears in her eyes is frightening, because of what it represents.
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Considering that a lot of the times, they warn off the general, or shoot one last attack at them that they dodge, this is severe. Lemonade uses her attack at point blank range, furious at his disrespect for her well-being and her mother’s legacy, and he is nearly overwhelmed before he vanishes. If this had been his final stand, it would have been a good one, but we’re not through with him yet.
As far as her father and grandfather go, they’re mostly comic relief, but we get a hint of what they dealt with regarding the loss. We’re told they were very sad, and they coped with the death by pouring all their energy into raising Urara and making her happy, which in turn cheered them up. It’s cute and sentimental and a demonstration of how different people deal with grief.
I love the scene of everybody eating at the end, even Coco and Nuts. Food really can transcend barriers. Urara’s father, Michel, has flashbacks to eating with his wife and Heizou remembers his daughter fondly. The girls give each other grief about wanting seconds even as they all clean their plates. It’s just a fun time all around and a lovely way to end this episode.
I have to criticize the art a little bit. In several instances of this episode, the proportions of the girls are just.... off. It’s still not as bad as bad FWPC art but it’s noticeable.
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Also, young Urara is cute as heck.
Next time, Urara makes her singing debut! Look forward to it!
Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 kettei!
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sparklecarehospital · 5 years
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am sorry for this avalanche of questions rhrghrrhr but what were you like as a person before the comic even existed, even before the preboot? how has this whole comic journey changed u? what pushed you to make this comic into this big thing (the reboot, I mean) ? do u have any advice for motivation to do the things you want to do? becuase right now I really want to make animations and games and stuff, but I can't seem to find the motivation or inspiration for it.
Before the comic started I was in a pretty dark place, It had been about 5 months since I got out of the hospital and I was struggling with adjusting to medication I was prescribed while there that killed my creativity. It helped my hallucinations, but I had no motivation and horrible art block (which antipsychotics tend to cause). I had so much trouble drawing or making anything, and I was really unbelievably miserable. I was also struggling from something else i dont feel like talking about publicly. Around the time I started the preboot I had just been put on 2 new meds, a new antidepressant and a mood stabilizer. It helped a lot, and suddenly I had a burst of creativity. Unfortunately I ended up getting a wrist injury because I was drawing so much (which I still have).
The comic has really changed me. I started it in an effort to cope and recover from trauma in a positive, healthy way, because my old coping mechanisms were really bad. I surrounded myself with dark things and imagery to feel better, and when I started this comic, my world became bright and colorful. I didn't feel so bad anymore. It's been a process, and I didn't instantly feel better, but it helped. What helped even more was knowing I started helping others with my story.
I did the reboot because I wasn't satisfied with what I had. The preboot had no substance, it was just random gags and nonsensical, with no real story attached. It wasn't planned out at all when I started it. I wanted to reboot so I could do something better, something more meaning, something truly special that could move people. I think I was able to achieve that even with just the first volume. The story has so much more to come, too, you guys have no idea how excited I am to show you this world. This is only the beginning.
As for motivation.. I think the best thing that has ever helped me is doing this just for myself and nobody else. I think when people create things they rely a lot on doing what other people want, but you should really just create things YOU want to see exist. For example, think about my character Uni. I made him to be a character I wanted to exist. He is one of my biggest comforts in the world, and I made him that way. I chose everything about him, his design, his personality, his good traits, his flaws. I made him something I needed in a character. When you create something, don't worry so much about reception or other's interest, make what YOU want to make. Make what you need.
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scifimagpie · 5 years
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Game of ZZZs: How Long Stories Ruin Everything
I've been putting this one off because I was kind of busy writing an 18-part series deep-dive involving journalism and undercover work, but since Lindsay Ellis has released her video essay conclusion, I have finally put my thoughts in order.
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So, today we're going to talk about something contentious. I have no issue with books being long, or shows being long, or movies being long - but at the same time, I do. And yes, I know some people adore epic scale stories for their own sake.  Not everything needs to be a thousand-page-long ten-book series with three spinoffs and prequels. Oh, sure, market forces and advertising play a role in this, but creators still participate in it.
But sometimes a story isn't long because it needs to be, it's long because the writer thinks it HAS to be. From my personal experience as a reader and writer, and especially as an editor, I've come to some conclusions about how stories are artificially extended. And in a world of global warming and climate change, shouldn't we be fighting waste everywhere, on every level?
Now, a certain show ended its eighth season not long ago; Big Bang Theory came to a whimper of a close after ten seasons, and Veep - which I only heard about towards its grand finale, alas - has also finished up a seven-season run. 
I'm not saying all of these shows participated in various errors. I'm saying pretty much every show, book, and movie series will partake in them eventually. So how do we do better than the bad ones, and how do we echo or even improve on the good ones? We can't fight what we don't know about, so let's get into it.
Spacing
Everything happens, but not right away. No, the important events are distanced from each other, to the point where there are long stretches of dead zones or deserts of nonsense in between them. I'm not talking about character interactions as nonsense here, but unfortunately, a lot of authors seem to think that they count, and that human drama isn't interesting enough to be a climax. Older fantasy works--cough, cough, Wheel of Time--can be particularly bad about this. The problem with spacing out events and using human drama between the big McGuffin/army-driven fights is that readers get frustrated by the human drama rather than finding it rewarding. Or worse, they find the army and McGuffiny-crap a distraction from the human stuff.
Padding
I know about this issue from the inside. Bad Things that Happen to Girls started off as a book called Foreverland, and then was untitled for a while before getting its current name. It went through two full rewrites before arriving at its current published form. When I wrote it at first, I thought it absolutely had to be a long novel, with lots of details about the girls' lives and a slow-burn breakdown, then an extended road trip in the middle and a bunch of scenes about their experiences in university.
I didn't realise I was padding it, but when I experimented with radically decreasing the timeline of events, I had a revelation. I didn't need years and paragraphs on paragraphs chronicling their lived experiences, full of pointless dialogue and meandering descriptions. All I had to do were give little samples and important moments, and that would get the idea across. Sometimes a flash reveals more than a long exposure shot, to put it in cinematic terms.
Cramming
EVERYTHING MUST HAPPEN AND IT MUST HAPPEN NOW AND HERE ARE TEN NEW CHARACTERS AND A NEW SUBPLOT AND HOLY CRAP WE MUST MAKE UP FOR WRAPPING UP TOO MANY THREADS AT THE END OF THE LAST SEASON OOPS.
The caps lock here was entirely necessary and appropriate, because with cramming, the story often feels like it's shouting at you. (Probably in German.)
The biggest problem with cramming, too, is that it requires glossing over things. If readers get interested by a small detail, they might end up screaming, "wait, go back!" long after the author's moved to another topic, or three other topics. Finding the balance between this and padding can be tricky, but the best solution I can offer is "external perspective." Get someone to read over your work, and when they lose attention, that's time to cut. It's a trick I often use with editing manuscripts - the minute my attention wavers, I mark it, just in case.
Crashing
this tends to happen to shows that have lived past their expiry date. Supernatural is a fine example of this. This is where "shark-jumping" tends to come into play; characters do things that go against their nature and development for the sake of jump-starting a narrative or adding some excitement.
Oh, the shark-jump. That's worth a mini-section of its own. Honestly, most shows either end or jump the shark in order to keep going. There's no such thing as a perfect writer or a perfect story; mostly because these things are subjective, but partly because keeping all the balls in the air for a story is just plain hard. 
Endless escalation 
Science fiction authors are prone to this, and so are epic fantasy authors. In an effort to keep reader interest, stakes rise and rise and rise, and then lose sight of the human scale of things. The problem is that stories are made of people, and if you forget about the people, you don't have a story anymore.
As with Cramming, this can lead to glossing over interesting bits as well. The full impact of a big change or shift isn't always felt if we rush to the next big, shiny thing. In real life, though, long-reaching consequences of events can have ripples for decades or even centuries. The Magna Carta was a big deal when it was signed; the effects of the Spanish Inquisitions, the Crusades, the unification of China (which happened more than once), the Viking cultural expansions, and the colonization of North America (by which I mean the land-theft and genocide of Indigenous peoples) are all still talked about to this day. 
Bad things that happen to characters need room to resonate. PTSD and trauma are not only interesting, they're natural, and even when people mostly recover from them, they leave a lasting impact. Let your characters get wrecked by something. Have characters reference things that have happened. Let characters get fatigued, collapse, and have to fix themselves. It'll not only demonstrate the actual impact of your events, it'll keep you from having to throw together another big, shiny thing to make the story more exciting (looking at you, Avengers series and mainstream comics). 
So, what tends to actually cause these writing techniques behind the scenes? 
Burnout or boredom
One of the most difficult and important factors - one which arguably contributed to the absolute mess that was the GoT finale - is just getting tired of your own damn story. When this happens, authors and creators will end up trying to revamp something with weird new twists partly to keep themselves interested, might engineer an awkward left turn to justify a foreshadowed plot element, or might just do a half-hearted wrap-up of the previous plot elements.
Here's the thing - audiences don't always consume stories at the same rate as authors write them. Many times, readers or viewers will stumble on a work and binge it in a relatively short time, so what took years for the writer will take months, at most, for the consumer. This can make tonal clashes very jarring. 
In other cases, an author will abandon a series due to writer's block or life events - a sin of which I, cough, am guilty - and then try to pick it up later. This will still impact the story, often negatively. Maybe one has just gotten well and thoroughly tired of the subject matter, or it's been done to death in the popular sphere. It doesn't really matter - either way, authors are subject to the world around them, and sometimes, the only way to deal with burnout or boredom is rotating to another project. That's fine - the only issue comes when the first project is completely abandoned, and languishes, unfinished. 
Societal changes and personal development 
I'm combining these two because the world around us affects us, and sometimes, we even affect the world. If you'd told me that Donald Trump and Boris Johnson were going to rise to power during my lifetime, I wouldn't've believed you. To many, it sounded like a bad dream. Well, here we are, and the long night has not yet come to an end. Using art to cope with dark times and critique them is a long-celebrated human trend, and there's no reason to stop now. Sure, we might fear our work aging poorly - but stories that try to be timeless always age anyhow, and an earnest time capsule often lasts longer, because it can tap into the problems of an era (which echo forward, as discussed in the section above).
If you'd told me that I'd be able to deal with my family issues in a more satisfactory way, I might have believed you - but realising the impact of that on my writing both as a Game Master and an author is another matter. However, the additional perspective and maturity of healing has, rather than distancing me from characters' struggles, provided additional objectivity and even empathy. Fixing ourselves and healing doesn't "take away our artistic magic" - far from it. If anything, getting over issues unlocks the ability to deal with them in fiction much more effectively. 
Disillusionment and insecurity
These are nasty brain demons, all right - perhaps one has taken a look at the broad span of one's work, compared it to one's goals, and feels they are just - well, left wanting. Every creator struggles with this at some point, whether crafting a story for a D&D party or for hundreds of readers or thousands of viewers. The only way to deal with it is with external perspective and turning to objective sources of both external critique and validation. 
After all, we tell ourselves things that may or may not be true all the time, and measuring them against the perceptions of the audience can drastically correct things. Your readers might just be happy to see the characters get married - never mind that it took you five years to write about them getting together. And even if they don't like something specific or complain about it or nitpick - hey, they're coming back. You compelled them. Even if the readers, say, abandon their fandom and proclaim it a trashfire - they're still paying for or giving your story attention and money. And ultimately, from a marketing perspective attention is always neutral or positive - even if that attention is controversial - because it increases profits. 
How do we even begin to fix all this? 
But.  All hope is not lost.
By acknowledging burnout, boredom, disillusionment, insecurity, personal development, and societal change - the factors which often lead to writing shortcuts detailed in the previous section - we can compensate for the natural creative struggles by accepting and anticipating them. 
Try to write books in a series in a continuous stretch when possible, making it harder to lose track of the tone or style or character journeys. Plot things out, and get yourself a hands-on editor and/or extremely trustworthy beta-readers. And forgive yourself for screwing up - then get back to writing. At least, that's what I'm doing! 
***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.
Find her all over the internet: * OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 
* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi
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growingupautie · 6 years
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Easily Distracted Autistic
Q: Have a problem with catching movement, small movements, facial features etc. From human interaction to country driving, social settings it's keeping the bubble while hearing every conversation overwash the other, pick up bits and pieces of conversation end up overloaded...
lock onto birds and other things by movement. In city settings or traffic, it all comes together noise, smell, movement and overloads the circuits and meltdowns ensue. any good coping mechanisms that can be learned for those situations?
A: Being easily distracted is usually attributed to ADHD which is what led to me being prescribed Ritalin when I was a child. Ritalin used to make me feel lethargic, would steal my creativity, and actually caused me physical pain in my chest (probably because of my allergies and the fact that I did not need it) and I refused to take it for that reason. However, ADHD is commonly comorbid with Autism and so similar medications may help people with that issue.
But for the rest of us, those issues can usually be attributed to a combination of sensory processing disorder and hypersensitivity. We sense too much and then have difficulty sifting through all that we are sensing. It makes it nearly impossible to focus on the task at hand even when it's directly in front of us. Some of us not only rapidly move between the things we sense but also feel like we are being "ripped" from the last thing we sensed causing us to feel even more uneasy or pained.
I was able to learn coping mechanisms through meditation, martial arts, and some "homebrew" techniques that helped me hone my focus an maintain composure.
Mindfulness is important. It's a bit like a muscle and has to be used often enough to ground us to reality. Including time, space, and perspective. it basically just means to be aware of yourself. It's what people mean when they say "take time to smell the flowers." Basically, stop what you are doing, and take time to just exist. pay attention to your breathing, think about something simple.
Something I came up with that I showed in one of my comics was to place a running fan or blow dryer on one side, and music playing on the other and practice shifting my focus to only hear one of the two. Switching back and forth to practice shifting focus.
After a while, I was able to only hear the music or only hear the blowdryer. In real-world practice, this will help you block out non-important things, but you can also run into a problem if you don't leave a little room for a "heads up." Like if someone is trying to talk to you but you are focused on something completely different, you will have to find a way to allow that in. Similar things can be used to practice for visual stimuli.
I also wear my hat almost everywhere I go. It helps me block out stimuli above me and limits what I choose to see in front of me. It's a bit like putting a piece of paper with a hole in it over a book and revealing one line at a time. It limits what's taken in so you only have to sift through a smaller amount. I used to wear thick long sleeve shirts for the same reason, and some Autistics even use noise canceling headphones and hoodies to protect them from it.
In my case, I was also unknowingly bogged down by an Autoimmune disorder that affected my cognitive speed and focus as well (when I was having allergic reactions to the air, liquids I drank and food I ate.) so that really held me back, and can still knock me off my game on a bad day. Even if I'm just exhausted or sick, all of my blocking mechanisms will fall apart and I'll be left in that original state.
All of that is because these coping mechanisms take a lot of focus and energy, and can leave you exhausted even on a good day, to making sure you are well rested, and physically healthy can prop up your stamina when it comes to these things. and making sure to take breaks also helps. I sometimes hide in the dark and use mindfulness to take a breather.
But I would follow that. Check for ADHD and get medication if needed, take up meditation and/or martial arts, practice focusing and shifting focus, and using mindfulness, breaks, and other forms of meditation to recover. But also limit your exposure using clothing or headphones where you can. and stay rested, mindful, and healthy if you can. I hope that helps.
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sweetwriting · 6 years
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Category: Gen
Genre: Angst/Family/Fluff
Fandoms: DC Comics, Batverse
Continuity: Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint
Summary: In Hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world. He wasn't sure whether he had “grown” or just changed. But too much had happened for him to be the same.
Word Count: 1 970
AN: Hello everyone. I'm sorry for not posting this sooner but, while most of my works are somewhat finished, I write on paper and rewriting on the computer takes time (and then comparing the first draft to the rewriting, and then trying to edit it a little because of mistakes...it takes more time than I'd like to admit...though the rewriting part is what takes the longest because sometimes it takes me like 3 days to do one sentence because I remember I have homework or I have to go to work...). I won't be posting day 5 (favorite relationship) because...I couldn't choose between Dick and Kon and tried to use both and it ended up becoming sorta TimKon and I didn't want Dick to feel left out...or Bart and it's a mess I have to try to rework. If I can't manage to rework it I'll post the best version. As for day 6, I just thought I had rewritten it on my computer and posted it when I started rewriting day 7 but I haven't yet and I'm currently rewriting others (TimKon Week and the Batfam Halloween event) so... it'll come, one day ^^'.ANYWAY. This piece, while a standalone can be seen as a sequel to that piece. I hope you enjoy it :)
To read it on AO3
In hindsight, Tim realizes he used to be both extremely naïve and aware of the world.
In the words of the internet, his naïveté mainly came from his privilege.
He knew a lot of things from reading newspapers (well…what had been about Batman and other heroes as well as what he could gather about Art History which, depending on the journalist, could open a window on the world) but it was “from afar”, he was never really confronted with their concrete application until he met Bruce and was transferred to a non-private (and non-boarding) school. Meeting Ives and Ariana was kind of a wake-up call and so was meeting Steph and, really, the many others who followed. There was also his constant denial of the state of his birth family and how it had impacted the way he took the death of Dick’s parents by projecting on Batman and Robin…that….took some time to deal with (hint: he had never truly dealt with it) and was the root of many of his issues. And then, then there was all he saw of the world as Robin.
Now, however, he had become almost completely cynical. There was a reason why he knew the Anti-Life Equation after all. Sort of. Because at the same time, even if it made sense, he refused it and there was a very simple reason for that. The naïve part of his being never truly left and, in a way, was heavily encouraged by his training with Batman. There is something to say after all, about a man dressed as a bat who tries to prevent others from being hurt the way he had been during the night and who tries to help redeem the crimes of others by giving them constant second chances as well as tries to prevent them by making affordable healthcare or rehabilitation programs through various of his own associations and giving money to others. Because that belief that people could change, that you should trust that they would try and deserve those new chances? It was all Bruce’s.
Of course, Bruce had also had to learn paranoia so some of his lessons went against this faith in people, yet, despite all the paranoia he had tried to create in his protégé, a part of Bruce always seemed to be burning with the trust he put in others (or maybe it was just a hope that he could trust them?). And Tim had been at the best place to see it worsen over the years. As such he ended up developing a paranoia-trust dichotomy similar to Bruce’s but… He never quite managed to take his paranoia as far as Bruce’s - or Dick's- because he couldn’t help himself and almost always trusted people he had just met despite himself. He had learned, however, not to be surprised if he was betrayed and to sometimes prepare for it even if a tiny bit - and even then,  he never completely managed to if his surprise that no one would give him the benefit of the doubt after Bruce's death was anything to go by. Because being trusting didn’t mean being an idiot.  
It was amazing how he had both changed and stayed the same over the years.
He had gone through a lot to learn to balance awareness turned paranoia and naïveté, cynicism and trust and there were periods of time when he couldn’t help the cynicism and paranoia overcoming him. It was especially bad after Conner’s death as it was probably the first time they had truly made themselves known (instead of simply just being him channeling his inner Bruce and Dick in order to appear professional) and then Bruce’s death. Though… It was mostly true after Bruce’s death. The truth is that after Conner’s he wasn’t really functioning enough of a person for anything besides crushing depression and overall numbness for those to overcome him (maybe he should consider Bart’s death as a threshold too?). And retrospectively, Bruce’s method of “repressing it until it no longer bothers you” hadn’t worked. on him. If anything it had made things worse. Because for Bruce, even for Dick really, repressing actually fueled them. Of course, their level of angst and depression went up too but it still helped their vigilante life. On a side note it seemed like the Batfam was blessed with overall good friendships with outsiders who often did what they could to help them out of their funk when repressing became too much for them, and maybe that was Tim’s issues. His friends were either dead or… “out of the way” …Though unlike most of his family Tim didn’t really have any issue with asking for help.
So for Tim, that technique just…blocked him. Blocked him until his level of empathy seemed to start lowering and he just did what he had to do to help.
He honestly doesn’t know what would have happened to him if Bruce…No. If Conner hadn’t come back. Because realizing Conner was really alive, that he could have his best friend back? It felt as if he could be happy again (that night he had smiled one of his first honest smiles of happiness, of contentedness in over two years and finding actual clues about Bruce’s survival was important but not for the obvious reasons). After that -and he hated saying it- but getting Bruce back wasn’t as important. Not because he didn’t care, of course, after all, he’d have given his life to bring him back if it had been needed. The thing is though, had Conner been with him in the first place when Bruce had died, he would have mourned him. He wouldn’t have been desperate to have him be alive to the point of noticing something was wrong. And this belief (no, this knowledge) mattered because having Bruce and Dick hadn’t helped him mourn Conner. Bruce being alive was more important for the family, or even Gotham at that point more than for Tim’s sake. Well except for his sanity (and that’s why he could finally digest the idea that his best friends were back, Paris hadn’t been a hallucination). Learning that Bruce was indeed alive and that he hadn’t “gone insane with grief” was pretty great.
So having both back? That was the best feeling and it was also key in turning two years of hell into fuel for growth instead of just stagnating at an all-time low.
The sole fact that he still needed a crutch to help him deal said a lot about the state of his mental health but he had come a long way from the time when denial and projecting were his main coping mechanisms. Kon had helped a great deal in reminding Tim that he was allowed to deal while Bruce was probably one of the first people to actually listen and respond to Tim’s babbling (whether it was about his days, his missions, and Tim had even started talking about some of his issues. For all intent and purposes, Bruce had acted like his father very early on. He had been a better father than his biological father had been. And Tim couldn’t help but feel bitter at the fact that Bruce had been a relatively better father for him before he adopted him than after…not on all matters seeing as he had been more openly affectionate with Tim but it didn’t prevent Tim from feeling like he always had to prove he was worthy of it. ....Damian hadn’t helped). It was the same with Dick who was his brother long before either were adopted by Bruce, who had become his brother when he had been his Batman, which is why losing him after Bruce (and Conner) died destroyed the small amount of stability Tim had left. But again, had Conner been alive, had tim still noticed something was wrong, he could have dealt with this.
It wasn’t so much because Tim was dependent on Conner more than he was on Bruce and Dick. Though he kinda was, it’s more that Conner had helped him realize that he didn’t need Bruce and Dick as much as he used to because he had actual relationships like Cassie, Bart or Cass (even Cissie and Anita had they not somewhat lost touch). But Conner died barely more than a year after they founded Young Justice and due to their own complicated history, the development of their friendship and their help with each other’s issues had happened too close to Conner’s death for Tim to be able to apply what he had learned in dealing healthily (or as healthily as possible). He had time to get attached to his best friend in the five months that followed the reveal of his identity but he hadn’t had enough time to adapt to this attachment in a relatively healthy way. Still, Cassie had helped him a little after they made up -after she discovered how terribly he was dealing with Conner’s death- and so did Dick (after all he was the one Tim called when he felt suicidal enough to be tempted to jump or take one too many pills).
Mostly though, Tim was never as content as when he was with Conner. He’d love to say as happy but sadly, while it was a bit true, before Conner’s death, he and Tim’s friendship had truly started at a time when their environment prevented either of them from actually being happy and the fact that so much happened in such a short lapse of time didn’t help. Between Bruce being accused of murder, Tim’s father losing his money and going back to forgetting he had a son to take care of, then finding about his night life and his death following Steph’s, Conner having to deal with his non-existent life outside of heroics and trying to adapt to having a relatively stable family, having to get used to a new name, a new identity , learning that he was half megalomaniac instead of 9/10th Apple Pie as well as what seemed to be like feelings for Cassie to deal with -which, retrospectively weren’t even especially romantic,….It had been a lot.
But now, now that Tim had started processing everything that happened to him? Conner was the person who made him the happiest and the most content. He was even getting ready to talk to Bruce after having recently talked with Dick.
He was truly amazed at how so many terrible things had allowed him to get so much better than how he had started out when it came to trust and love. How putting his trust in others had been so rewarding and how even the harshest betrayals had helped him.
How despite everything, while he had become fairly cynical he could still be so utterly trusting. How, while he had shed some of his naïveté it hadn’t completely disappeared so much as evolved into a belief in people despite his knowledge that they could and might betray him.
And as he was sitting in the kitchen beside the picnic Alfred had prepared for him and Bruce to eat after their Tennis matches (which is when they would talk. There was to better way to unwind before a meeting you knew was gonna be tense).
He was eating freshly made cookies and couldn’t help feeling apprehensive of how their talk was going to go through. Yet, unlike what a lot of people would believe, Bruce was a good listener when he realized the subject at hand was something important for the person he was communicating with (unless very specific circumstances). So if things had gone well with Dick? And if he had a shot at repairing his relationship with all his loved ones? He would take it.
Author’s end note :   When I rewrote this on word the first thing I thought was "damn this is so messy" then I stopped and realized "you wrote this from Tim's Point of Vue, of course it's messy"... if I start forgetting how I'm writing my stories I'm not gonna go far...
 By the way, one @Chonaku-Things told me recently that it was impressive how I almost always manage to bring everything back to my ships (especially true for TimKon and SpideyTorch) and I would like to defend myself. It's not that I do it because I ship them, it's quite the opposite as I simply ended up shipping them because that's how they're written (whether on purpose or not). It's their fault, I just notice the patterns and end up shipping it because it's almost always there.
 Here's a post that explains how I see the timeline between the first Young Justice issue and Infinite Crisis (though it technically starts at the beginning of Robin v4). Well...Sort of.  I didn't detail it because for this all you need is an overview and I didn't have the faith to do it event by event (I have a relatively complete chart in my mind but I'm not an encyclopedia so there are some things that're missing or might be wrong for the detailed version that I'd have to look up. Which is why I keep this chart short and clear, it helps recenter the timeline and reduces the issues I have to go through when I need something a bit more complete, it's weird to have it done instead of just staying in my head).
Anyway, I'm a bit tired of people who talk about Tim's paranoia being on par with Bruce's as a way to show how extremely paranoid he is when: 
Bruce in Pre-New 52 wasn't actually that paranoïd (unlike New 52 or Nolan's movies, most of his choices come from his experience yet "paranoia" usually means it's not warranted).
Tim is like...one of the most trusting members of the Batfam. The end of his Robin run and his Red Robin series are his most distrustful periods and the kid still keeps on trusting people. (he told pretty much everyone he thought there might be a chance Bruce was alive. He told Cassie he had freaking heard the Anti-Life Equation, he trusted Lynx even if he knows it might not be true and I doubt it's just because she's pretty (even if Tim does have a weakness for pretty girls he still does these kinds of things everyone?...just not the making out part)).
I've also actually read A Lonely Place of Living and it was terrible. Like, I didn't expect to like it and I knew that if they tried to pretend N52/Rebirth Tim was the same as pre New 52 Tim it was going to get messy (different to the point of almost opposition personalities will do that to you), but I didn't expect it to be that bad. If you want my more complete opinion on ALPoL here's my liveblog of it.
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gyrlversion · 5 years
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Jonny Sun Knows How To Balance The Darkness And The Light In Art, Work, And Twitter
By Michell C. Clark
If you’ve ever felt alone in your thoughts and feelings — almost like you’re an alien from another planet — you’re not the only one. Jonny Sun gets it.
Whether on social media or in his book, everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too, the writer and illustrator strikes a balance between weighty social commentary and relatable humor. His work is simple, but powerful, and starts conversations about being open and vulnerable about traditionally stigmatized feelings such as loneliness, sadness, and fear. That process, he says, can be comforting and cathartic.
“There’s this confessional nature to social media,” the Calgary, Alberta, native said during a recent TED Talk, entitled, You Are Not Alone In Your Loneliness. “It can feel like you are writing in this personal, intimate diary that’s completely private, yet at the same time you want everyone in the world to read it.”
“Every time we post online, there’s a chance that these little micro-communities can form,” he added. “And sometimes, through the muck of the internet, you get to find a kindred spirit.”
If you go by Twitter numbers, Sun currently has almost 600,000 kindred spirits following along as he reasons his way through the highs and lows of life. Through a mix of jokes, sincerity, and illustrations, he’s hit a chord with followers, especially those who relate to alter ego, an alien named Jomny, who provides an endearing outsider perspective on the creatures that inhabit Earth. Through oftentimes humorous dialogue with different animals and plants, Jomny uncovers many of the social dynamics that cause conflict in human interactions.
It’s fitting that he writes for Bojack Horseman, a satirical Netflix original series that uses the main character’s cynical, trauma-induced worldview to tackle dark themes through the lens of the entertainment industry — including addiction, imposter syndrome, abuse, and death — while providing viewers with glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel. And Sun also allows his creative pursuits and academic research to synergize each other; he is also a doctoral candidate at MIT and a creative researcher at the Harvard metaLab studying social media, virtual place, and online community.
MTV News spoke with Sun about how he found the courage to be so honest about his feelings, how he commits to using social media for positive purposes, and the process of building a digital community of your own.
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MTV News: You recently gave a TED Talk — how did it come about and how did you decide what you want to discuss?
Jonny Sun: TED approached me about giving a talk. We had a lot of back and forth communication with their curative team to figure out what the topic should be. I wanted to talk about creativity, and to create community around shared feelings of loneliness and sadness. I also wanted to talk about breaking the stigma that comes with speaking publicly about anxiety, depression, and mental health.
My original idea was more academically oriented; I wanted to incorporate my academic work, which examines online communities and the way that groups of people come together online. But as we were working on the talk it became more oriented towards my creative work. I’m happy with the result, because we brought together a lot of topics that I wanted to touch on for the final version.
MTV News: Do you ever feel challenged to find a balance between your academic pursuits and your creative work?
Sun: At times balancing the two does feel like a tug of war, but I’m working on thinking of it as a process where one side meets the other. I’m not picturing them being at odds with each other. Instead, I’m allowing the stuff that I have been reading academically to inform my work and practices on the creative side. I’m also allowing the work that I do as a creative to inform the topics that I examine as an academic. Right now, I have to question how much bandwidth I have to focus on these different things. Where am I going to direct my attention and my energy? I believe that in the long run, being able to strike a balance strengthens my work in both of these fields.
MTV News: What did you hope people took away from the Talk, and what did you take away from the experience?
Sun: To be honest, I’m really bad at letting myself enjoy a win. For a long time after the talk, I felt anxious. I partitioned it away in my head and didn’t devote much thought to it. It still feels surreal. I don’t feel like I gave that talk. I kind of blocked it out.
I wanted people to look at the Internet as something that brings people together. I also wanted to talk about how creating work that touches on our shared feelings of loneliness and sadness can bring people together. It speaks to people. Those are the things that I care about the most.
MTV News: You’ve expressed that you generally feel more comfortable writing through a pseudonymous identity rather than using your own face. How did it feel to deliver your Ted Talk as Jonathan Sun the man, instead of Jomny Sun the character?
Sun: I’ve been starting to use my real face and my real identity more often over the past year or so. It’s been a slow process. I think that there is power in pseudonymous character work. At times, people connect more to fictional characters than real people. It’s really interesting to observe, in so many ways.
Lately, I’ve felt drawn to show people who I am and what I stand for. I don’t want to fall into the trap of saying that I enjoyed hiding behind a certain character, or a certain way of doing things, because I don’t think that communicating anonymously or pseudonymously is always related to the feeling of hiding. Talking through the alien character that I created helped me to be more open, because it was less scary to be honest and vulnerable. My direct identity wasn’t tied to the character.
Now that my face is on front stage, my present work requires me to continue to be as open and as honest as ever. That’s why the talk was so scary and difficult. It felt really bare. There was no one else but me on that stage.
MTV News: At the beginning of your TED Talk, you explained that you started writing jokes on Twitter to cope with feelings of loneliness and intimidation as you started your doctoral program at MIT. Did you ever worry that others would judge you for sharing such taboo emotions?
Sun: Absolutely. During my first lab at MIT, I told my colleagues that I couldn’t make it to a meeting because I had an appointment with my therapist, and people looked at me like I had just said the most inappropriate thing in the world.
In certain spaces, it’s still very taboo to talk about therapy, mental health, anxiety, and depression. There was pressure to come off as “perfect.” It felt as though we weren’t allowed to admit that we were struggling or feeling anything negative. That kind of culture permeates everywhere. Twitter provided an outlet for me to talk about how I really felt, and a release from those unrealistic expectations. Trying to ignore those emotions would have led to more self-destructive emotions and behavior.
MTV News: What about Twitter appealed to you as a platform for sharing your work? Did anything about that process surprise you as you kept going?
Sun: Talking about difficult topics is easier on Twitter than it is in real life. There’s a different quality to conversations on Twitter. I don’t attribute those differences entirely to anonymity or pseudonymity, but I feel the contrast. Having a cartoon alien avatar on Twitter and speaking through that platform made the sentiments that I shared more palatable and digestible.
Everyone who knew me at school was aware that I had this account. It wasn’t a completely anonymous effort. As I began to share my thoughts, I became part of a community that talks about a lot of the same things that I talk about. Whenever I get online I feel connected to the friends that I’ve made. I wasn’t the first person to ever write about my feelings. I’d never say that I built a community around me as much as I would say that I discovered a community.
I was surprised to find other people who were discussing mental health and wrestling with feelings of loneliness and sadness. The bonds felt very organic. We’re a loosely-connected group of people who always existed. I’m writing but also feeling seen by seeing others having similar discussions in their own ways. It feels like a true community and support system.
MTV News: When did illustrating come into the mix?
Sun: I had always wanted to be an illustrator. I’d also done visual art in the past at architecture school. I was really interested in visual representation. When I started to write jokes, I had this hope in the back of my head that one day I would find the time and discipline to do a web comic, or a recurring series where I would illustrate something every week. That never coalesced properly, so I tried to focus on a finite, project-based effort with a definitive end point. I decided to work on a book. That book became everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too. I definitely want to revisit illustration, and I’m currently figuring out what my second book will be.
MTV News: Your work is often a mix of dark humor and soft reassurance. How do you strike that balance?
Sun: I’ve always felt drawn to like work that like dark and sad. Oftentimes, I find that strong feelings of sadness are comforting, because they allow me to acknowledge that people have these emotions, and that not everything has to have a happy ending. Life is dark and complicated, and it’s alright for us all to feel these negative emotions.
I’m comforted by stories that illuminate that more so than by stories that pretend everything has a happy ending. The balance comes when you acknowledge and discuss dark feelings and emotions in a way that leads to comfort and warmth. That’s a main theme of what I want to address with my work.
MTV News: When you started working on Twitter, did you have an end goal, or imagine you’d do something like land a gig on BoJack Horseman?
Sun: Not at all — BoJack was such a huge inspiration for me early on. It’s a landmark career accomplishment. It’s actually part of how I understand that balance between humor, sadness, comedy, and comfort. It’s been surreal [to join the writing team] because of how long I’ve been a fan. It still doesn’t feel real.
MTV News: What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced thus far as part of the writing team?
Sun: It’s been a challenge for me to deal with my emotions as a first-time writer. I felt a lot of self-doubt and heavy doses of imposter syndrome. Those feelings definitely got in the way of my ability to contribute at the beginning. I felt intimidated, and wondered if I was good enough for the task at hand. Luckily, the team is full of amazing people who are wonderful, smart, and kind, which helped me to work through those feelings.
MTV News: What fundamental changes to social media platforms would you like to see implemented for the good of the billions of people who use them?
Sun: Social media platforms need to do a better job of addressing hate speech, hate groups, and online violence. The reason that platforms are failing to do so is because they drive traffic. There are a lot of capitalism-driven reasons to keep these groups online. I believe that there are a lot of parties interested in hacking these platforms and these algorithms to further hate speech, violence, and hate groups. I think that’s the obvious issue that they have to address first.
MTV News: What keeps you coming back to social media every day?
Sun: When I first started to share my thoughts on social media, it was a public exercise. I decided that no matter what was going on, I’d try to sit down and tweet either one joke or thought every day. I wanted to share one thing every day that I felt was good enough to tweet out.
I eventually found people whose thoughts, work, and opinions I wanted to hear as often as possible. Those people have incentivized me to be more present online. That’s part of what has kept me there. Finding human connection was the most important thing for me — which is why despite all of the terrible issues that we have with these platforms, I’m still drawn to them. There are interesting people I like with whom I can only connect through the internet.
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