#baekhyun candy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

perfectbluez · 2 years

Text

You Ghost

Genre: romance / horror / smut / short story

Main characters: baekhyun x you / female reader

Warnings: mentions of mental illness / schizophrenia / depression / anxiety / suicide / alcoholism / violence / major character death

Description: Starting a new life at a new town, you quickly find the perfect house to live in and start your psychiatric practice. Days go by smoothly, until the patient with the styled undercut hair comes by and wrecks havoc in your peaceful life.

Author’s Note: This story is inspired by Baekhyun’s song Ghost and American horror story-Murder House.

"Unnie! I really miss you so much. Why did you have to pack up and leave me like this?" Sana, your little sister who had just turned seventeen the previous month, whines in her baby voice.

You smile, vividly imagining her face as if she is standing right in front of you, her lips turned down into the pout she tries so hard to pull off as angry, but turns out anything but adorable.

"You know why my sweet baby. It's for me to earn more money so I can send you to a nice, big university. You're all I have left, right?" You imagine Sana's cute face fall a little through the phone, "I miss mom and dad so much," she whispers, in the littlest of voices. The pain you felt at the loss of your parents sometimes seemed nothing when compared to Sana’s young soul. "I know. Me too, sweetie, me too," you whisper, your eyes watering up instantly, thinking of the cruel way a simple car accident took the lives of the people you had loved the most in your entire life. But you had promised them that you would take the best care of Sana as they had cared for you. So you quickly wipe your eyes and adjust your spectacles as you say, "Listen, you must quickly finish your high school at Aunt Yuri's place, and by the end of this year, you can come by and stay with me, permanently!" Sana already knew this, but reminding each other every time how it’ll be only one year until you two would be united didn't get any less exciting. Besides, talking about staying with her sister made Sana the happiest. "Really? Do you really promise?" Sana's little voice chirps, and you can already tell the creeping smile that was about to break through with just one word. "Promise!" you squeal, and another squeal adds to your one as you visibly hear your 17-year-old sister jump up from where ever she was sitting. "Oh Unnie! I promise too that I will be the best student and graduate faster than anyone else so I can come live with you sooner. I love you so, so much! Oh btw, Aunt Yuri showed me the photos of the house, it is so big and pretty. How did you find such a beautiful house so fast out there?" That, was a mystery to you, too.

It wasn't only the most beautiful house you came across while searching for one, but it had also come at a really low price.

You had needed to start your psychiatric practice as soon as possible, so you didn't get the time to mull over any suspicious reasons behind getting a house like this at such a low price. You had to think about Sana and her future. So you had taken it. It still needed a lot of time to become your own, most of your boxes left unopen upstairs. But downstairs, the living room- and the room you loved so much - had been refurnished as your office. The place where you'll see your outpatients, was pretty much settled as well. All thanks to your best friend and your part-time assistant- Jihyo. As if she knew you had thought of her, Jihyo's head pops in through the mahogany double doors to your office, smiling her pretty smile as she says, "Your first patient of the day is here, Doctor. Should I let them in?" You bid Sana a loved filled goodbye and with her sweet giggles warming your body, you nod towards Jihyo, standing up from your comfortable position in your oversized bronze accent armchair. Smiling slightly, you say,

"I'm ready."

The first patient was a 30-year-old man with mild case of schizophrenia. The condition had developed after he had completed his military enlistment, and even though his previous doctors listed it as not dangerous, to you, it seemed something more.

"I can't sleep at night anymore, Doctor. I feel like if I do, they are gonna break into my house and kidnap me." he breathes slowly as he says his worst fears, his beautiful, cat eyes restless and red at their rims. "Who will, Minseok sshi?" "The North Korean spies," he states with utter confidence, and there was no way he was a manipulative liar. His eyes were like an open book.

He actually, genuinely believed the North Korean spies were going to topple the boundaries just to take him, a mere civilian who was just finishing his mandatory army training, from the comfort of his home and kill him.

"Okay. And when did these insomniac phases start, Minseok sshi? While you were posted at the Demilitarized Zone or after?" You take off your spectacles and observe him with kind eyes. "While... I was still there. My post was transferred to the DMZ for my excellent shooting skills during the military. I was so ecstatic, so proud of myself when it had happened. It was one of the most prestigious posts at the army," he smiles, and you couldn't stop yourself from noting how handsome he was when he wasn't overcome with fear, "I bragged about it to all my friends and family. They were so proud. They were so proud until..." his smile fades, his eyes becoming wet as the painful memories came back like a flood, that awful night at the DMZ. "Until what Minseok sshi?" you probe tenderly, catching full well that this was a part of the trauma that his mind was blocking, a very crucial part of his underlying illness. "Is that important? Why don't you just prescribe me some sleeping pills, Doctor?" his voice becomes nonchalant as he fakes a smile, but you easily catch the slight frown in between his eyebrows.

You note "incident at DMZ" down on your diary, and smiled up at him.

"Well, your previous doctors have informed me that you were aware of some of your hallucinations. But it seems to me that get confused sometimes. Mr. Kim, no one is going to hurt you. And I am positively prescribing you some pills to have you enjoy a good sleep, because restless brain activity is our worst enemy. Also, we don't want those gorgeous eyes to get dark circles underneath, do we?" you smile, trying to lighten the mood and appeal to him as his friend. "Let's continue this discussion in our next meeting," Minseok smiles too, albeit half-heartedly and agrees, his eye still troubled and restless. Jihyo comes in after Minseok leaves, smiling at you as she places your coffee on your side table. "Do you need a break or should I call in the next patient? They are already here." "My kind Jihyo, you are a life-saver," you laugh. Sipping at your bitter Americano- just as you like it- you say, "Bring them in. I feel like I am finally getting started."

Jongin Kim was a 19-year-old college student. He just sat there, one leg on top of the other, his hands limp, his eyes numb and quite lifeless.

"So how are you feeling today?" you ask, smiling comfortably at the kid. He reminded you of Sana because of his age and you could tell he would grow up to be a heart breaker. If his clinically diagnosed depression didn't consume him whole. "Nothing different, Doctor. I always feel the same, what's the use of talking about it?" he mumbles, out of courtesy, you could tell if he were given a choice he'd never even speak. The fact that he was here, getting help for himself was because of his worried mom sitting outside in the waiting room. Jongin was a good kid. "Jongin? Is it okay for me to call you Jongin?" you say, removing your glasses. He shrugs, uncaring. "Jongin. You like to paint right? Let's speak in colors, then. What do you feel when you hear the word yellow?" "Uhh. I don't know. Bright? Sunny... happy." "And when you hear the word blue?" "Blue? Um. Blue has different shades, the lightest blue makes me feel light, like I'm floating, and the darkest one makes me feel like I'm drowning." "So out of the 3 colors, how are you feeling today?" He pauses, looking outside the big glass doors that leads to your little backyard. He sighs, the dullness in his eyes growing a shade duller.

"Dark blue," he whispers.

The next few hours go by in a blur of more patients. And soon Jihyo pops in to say she is going for a lunch break. "You have one more patient. But they called in to say they'll be about half an hour late. So imma go real quick to grab something to eat and come back. Would you like me to bring you something?" "No, it's okay. I'll get dinner later. You go, I'll take care." "Are you really sure you don't want anything? Cause I'm getting cream pasta," she insists, rolling her eyes in an exaggerated way to emphasize the loveliness of pasta. "No babe for real, I'll eat later," you chuckle, busily re-checking the previous patient's file. "Ughh, no wonder your aunt calls me thrice a day to check up on the three meals of your day. Okay, bye, because I'm really hungry right now. You are gonna have to answer her on my behalf,” Jihyo grimaces. “Love you~" she winks as she exits, leaving you shaking your head.

You take the last sip of your coffee, craning your tired neck as the door creeks open again just after a few minutes. Thinkinh Jihyo had come back to force feed you lunch, you turn and say,

"Jihyo, really girl go and have your foo-" but you stop mid-sentence as your eyes fall on the handsome man darkening your doorstep. A man who looked younger than you, enters swiftly. You go speechless as your eyes fall on his features, the first thing you notice is his unnaturally pink, luscious, triangular-shaped lips. He is wearing a yellow t-shirt underneath his coat, his hair styled so prettily, exposing his shiny forehead that you would've complimented him right away if he was someone you knew before. "Can I -come in?" the man says in a husky voice, his perfect eyebrows slightly raised, a slight twinkle behind his gently shaped eyes. "Yes. Of course, come in," you say as you stand up. You walk towards the front of your table and you extend your hand, "Mister?" "Ah, Baekhyun Byun. I think I am your last patient for today," he says politely, his demeanor so different from all the patients you had seen today. "Yes! My assistant told me you were going to be late. Glad you could make it," you smile, a little flustered as you were not given your last patient's record history beforehand. You always liked to be prepared with their history. "Yeah. I was. But somehow I got here just on time." He was sitting on the couch now, smiling softly, so calm and collected, unlike yourself.

How unprofessional of you.

You cleared your throat and admonished yourself mentally. Stop ogling at him, you repeat to yourself as you fix your hair into a ponytail and head for the door.

"Please. I'm so, so sorry. I don't have your file with me. I will go out and see if I can get your records from my table. If you could just excuse me for one min-" "No. No please sit. There is no need for it when I am right here. I can tell you everything." the man smiles. You wondered how the words 'a brilliant smile' would be an understatement to describe it. Why were his teeth so pretty?

"But-" you say again, feeling a little flip in your stomach but also unease for not being at your best. "Please, sit," he motions with his hand, and as if you were hypnotized, you sit down. You even forget to put on your spectacles, left on your desk when you had stood up. "Okay." you nod, and then break into your own bright, easy smile, "Okay. So let us start. Tell me about yourself, Mr. Byun." "Baekhyun, if you must," he clasps his hands in front of him, the smile fading a little but still there, "I'm Byun Baekhyun, 28," he was two years older than you, "I work at a tech company. Me and my brother both used to run it together. I was CEO a few years ago but I stepped down from the position," he looks up to see you scribbling these down, but you quickly lookup because he had paused. "Ah, I like to take notes, I hope it’s okay? If you want we can just speak-“ you start saying when he just shakes his head and lifts his eyebrows and hands in a gesture meant to mean that it was no problem. It was adorable. You smile again –huh, were you smiling too much?- and ask “If you don't mind me asking, Baekhyun," he smiles at you now, appreciating that you had listened to his preference, "why did you step down from the position?" "It was hard. It was hard after all the things that had happened, " he looks down as he speaks, his confident demeanor crumbling a bit. "After what had happened, Mr. Byun?" you ask, in your most tender voice. His head snaps up suddenly after the words 'Mr. Byun' leave your mouth. His soft feature turns into hard stone, and you bit your tongue at the silly slip of manner. He stands up suddenly, hands disappearing deep inside the pockets of his black slacks as he walks towards one of the paintings in your office. "These are some really nice paintings you have," he asks, clearly avoiding your question. You close your diary, catching ahead how today you weren't going to have any development with this patient.

But that was okay. Everyone had their own pace.

What you learned is you had to tread carefully with this one. He was sensitive in the oddest aspects. "It's not mine actually," you chuckle a little sheepishly, "The previous owners of this place insisted that I keep them. It's not been long since I moved in. I don't know if I'll keep them here, though." you stand up as you kept talking, moving towards the man who stood still in front of the painting of a beautiful lady. "Well, I think you should keep them. Especially this one." Baekhyun whispers as his fingers, so thin and pretty for a man, trails the border, his eyes unmoving from the lady's face. "She must have been gorgeous in real life, this woman in the portrait." you exhale as you stand beside him, putting on your spectacles to see better. "She was more than gorgeous. She was exquisite," Baekhyun whispers. You look at him curiously. He spoke as if he had known her personally. "Wow, you speak as if you knew this woman really well," you turn to face him, mystified. This time, Baekhyun's trance-like stature breaks, and he moves his whole body to face you. You had your share of meeting handsome men, even today you had met two who were astoundingly gorgeous. Yet there was something about this man in the black coat with styled hair, standing in front of you, staring into your eyes so deep, his mouth now looking so plump and kissable, that made your heart beat faster than usual.

Get a grip, you tell yourself as you discover a tiny mole on the right corner of his upper lip.

The way his skin shone in the soft light of your office, and how fair and clear and smooth it looked, enamored you. The grip on yourself loosened like air.

He steps a little bit closer to you, and you feel almost hypnotized. You are completely unable to move away when he says, "Doctor, I can quite easily tell when I see a woman that if they are just simply gorgeous," he says as he reaches out and grabs your spectacles gently, pulling them off, the light brush of his fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps along your hairline, "or if they are exquisite enough to take your breath away," he continues, putting the spectacle down and leaning in close to your ear.

"Right now, after I have seen one so dazzling, I really can't breathe," he finishes, he lips slightly grazing your cheekbone, inciting rouges along your cheek and neck.

He stares into your baffled eyes as he smirks and leaves the room.

What the hell just happened?

Minutes after Mr. Byun departs, Jihyo mkes her appearance.

"I think I'm kinda done for today," you say, huffing and shuffling your notes in a neat pile, and rubbing the place where his lips had touched, still tingling. You were embarrassed to find some of other parts of you tingling too. "Oh? Okay. I'll pack everything up and see you next week? Here," she says as she puts down two bags of Chinese food. "Jihyo…" "Now shut up and eat before I go," Jihyo admonishes, laughing loudly when you attack the bags.

Days become months, and soon you are getting the hang of living in a new city and learning your way around it. You had also applied to work as a professor at one of the universities, everything was going pretty well.

Except at the end of the day, when you come back to your big, big a house- you can't shake the feeling of being watched.

It wasn't like this at the beginning. But after you had started accepting clients, you always felt this cold shiver of being watched by somebody.

When you would walk down to the kitchen after passing your office, you would get a slight cold shiver from the room. You had started to close the doors to the room before sleep after that.

When you would walk out of a hot shower, you would feel someone watching you from the small window inside your bathroom that led to the yard of the house. You would close them too after the feeling didn’t let up.

There was this one time you even felt someone standing at the end of your bed.

It was crazy, and you were convinced it was all in your head since you never lived alone ina new place before.

You had told Jihyo about it, and that was what she had said too.

“If you feel too awful I can come and stay with you,” she had offered after the incident in the bedroom, but you declined.

You had to be the big girl.

It was horrible and pretty mind-fucking. But for the past couple of weeks, this feeling had stopped.

And what was more mind-fucked up was that you missed it.

That was so messed up. And you wondered why that was happening. Maybe it was something else you had missed, some other feeling similar to missing someone that you reconnected to this, reconnected back to something as disturbing as being watched.

Maybe I have reached my peak of loneliness, you wondered wistfully.

Anyway, there were far more important things to worry about than this. Like one of your clients being absent for weeks.

Where did he go?

Why wouldn't he reply to your mails that were sent inquiring about his absence?

The days he had come, he was so punctual, though every day, it was at the end of all your day's patients, and also strangely right after when Jihyo would leave for her lunch break. He never missed one single session, before he started ghosting you. And his absence had now made you realize you had developed rather illegal feelings for him. It was quite unprofessional of you. If anyone had to catch an air of this, your hard-earned degree would surely get revoked.

But you couldn't help it. You were always so immune to growing any sort of feelings for any of your patients. But, he...he was different. During the few sessions of the therapy Byun Baekhyun had with you, he would just stare, stare at you while you asked questions about his problems, stare at you when all he was supposed to do was lie down and look at the ceiling and relax and bare his deep, dark messed up feelings. After some of his slight flirtatious remarks towards you, gentle touches over your furniture and paintings as he would move around the room, all of that would eventually lead him to talk to you about his problems (it was the only way you could make him talk. And he could never stay still, never stay lying down for few minutes, and he always moving about and touching the paintings that he liked so much). You would sometimes stand up and walk with him too, abandoning your notes because you knew your mind was somehow embedding these memories to their cells, enjoying his company and the light conversation the sessions would turn into, and that's when he’d bravely graze his hand against yours, catch a stray strand of hair which he'd tuck behind your ear when you'd put your guard down and laugh at his funny monologues.

Times like this would create dangerous flutters inside our stomach, that would spread throughout your whole body and leave you stunned. What was worse is that he knew his effect on you.

But you could never get a reaction out of him.

Did he feel something for you too? Or was he just sweet and lovely like this to everyone else?

You try to shake these unruly thoughts out of your head as you focus on finding his contact number. The bossy side of your brain reminded you again and again.

He was your patient, it said. It's illegal to have feelings for your patient, it said.

But he was also one of those who shouldn't have gone without their sessions even for a week.

They were important for his recovery.

And Baekhyun had missed three.

Baekhyun was suffering from an anxiety disorder. It was hard to believe because he was such a bright person, always smiling and throwing witty remarks. But you could sense, sense a sort of fidget, a panic in his eyes when you would venture deeper into his life each time. Being the CEO of the company left by his father, there was no way he could afford to have any weaknesses, especially something that interfered with his work and relationships. He had admitted to leaning towards heavy use of alcohol, that had cost him many things, including his position to his younger brother. That's why he had come to you. Baekhyun was trying to get back on track, and you were gladly here to help him. Only you knew there was still a lot to unfold.

As you enter your office for a new day and new patients, your mind couldn't stop going back to him.

Worrying for him.

You vividly remember your last session with Byun Baekhyun.

He was wearing that same black coat he had worn every day since he started your sessions, and that day oddly, he had taken it off.

You had tried your best to avoid looking at his arms, his exposed collarbone, and his wide hips that were on full display because he had tucked his t-shirt in.

"So things with you and your brother aren't well, still?" you ask as you slide your eyes across his rehab documents, most of his visitors being solely one person, Byun Junmyeon.

"Yeah. He sold my house without telling me about it. And when he tried to tell me he was also selling her paintings I got furious and told him to never come back," Baekhyun says hoarsely, his jaw ticking and you could clearly see the topic of his brother was something that carried bitter feelings.

"Her paintings...?"

Baekhyun looks at you with a slight surprise and quickly caught onto the fact that this was something he wasn't supposed to tell.

"Baekhyun, who was she? " you ask gently and softly because once your clients start feeling on guard and close up on you there was no way you would be able to help them.

Baekhyun chuckles and rubs his neck, which was red by now from all the rubbing he did since he came in today, he seemed a lot fidgety somehow.

"Baekhyun," you sigh, getting nowhere with his silence,"You really need to tell me what you see when you go through one of your episodes. You said the last time it was so severe you almost took a drink. I can help you if you tell me. You know you can tell me," you coax, trying to read this man's thoughts. But today it was really hard.

His angry face had morphed into a solemn one, he stands up and walks to his favorite painting, the painting of the mysterious lady, yet again, and you can feel it.

He had closed his open book.

You sigh as you take off your spectacles and walk towards him. Standing next to him always made you feel light somehow, you look at his hand hanging by his side and you want to touch it. You want to hug him and tell him he can forget about his pains when he is with you. He can stop looking at the lady in the painting so longingly and look at you like that. But you knew it would never be right. Never.

"I... had a wife," he whispers quietly, his low register tone feeling like a breeze of warmth hitting your heart, only quickly turning stone cold from his words.

A wife?

He puts his hands over the painting's sill and traces the border slowly, towards the lady's abstract face that was drawn in with vivid shades of blue and red.

"She was so beautiful. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. But then she left me. A car accident took her life, a simple fucking car accident." his long thin fingers trace the lady's cheeks longingly.

"I used to be so busy working, I could never give her the time she had always wanted. So she would paint. I would come back every night and find her hands covered with bright colors of paint, and then I would wake her up and make love to her because like that, she was incredible to me. Her death broke me, completely. My position at the company became nothing to me, I lost my mind over the loss of the love of my life. Drowning myself in drinks, all the time thinking about how I should have been with her. How I should've died with her."

He faces you now, catching the redness in your eyes that were too late to blink away. He wasn't crying, but his face crumbles into a worrisome expression. But in the simple way he told his story, his real story, you could feel his loss as if you had been right there with him, suffering, and somehow the hurt of losing someone so loved felt profound to you. You understood the need to leave with the ones you had lost.

Because you too, had gone through something very similar.

"Don't cry," he coos, moving his hands away from the painting, moving his longing eyes away from her to you.

He was standing very close to you now, so close that you could count his eyelashes as his gaze roamed around your face until they fell on your quivering mouth.

"Mr. Byun," you start when he leans down towards them, his breathe covering your mouth in shallow inhales. He closes his eyes as if to control himself, and kisses your forehead instead. Like it was the most normal thing to do. The most natural thing.

Like you had been doing this for years.

"Neoreul michige wonhago wonhaedo neon...you ghost." he sighs against your ear, again, too close for comfort.

He was your patient. You did not allow any of your patients this close to you. Yet here he was. And you couldn't for the life of you, move away.

You open your eyes and look at him, the words he had spoken in his native tongue all unknown and foreign to you, yet why did it...arouse you?

"What does it mean?" you whisper, frowning a little, trying to hide how his proximity affected you more than you wished it to. But you were his doctor, his therapist. You had to focus. You needed to know everything about your patients to help them heal. And even though the intensity of feelings in his eyes made you scared to know what his words meant, you had to probe.

What did those words mean?

"Oh, doctor." he lifts his hands as he traces your cheeks with his thumb, "Do you really want to know?"

You look at him, mystified and terrified all at once.

"Even if I want you.... want you so much that it drives me crazy....

all you do is ghost" ...

"Hey, your first patient just called in to let me know they'll be here soon, okay? What are you looking for?" Jihyo pops in her head, slightly concerned at the disheveled way you were rifling through your files.

"Thank god you are here! Have you seen my patient Byun Baekhyun's file somewhere? They have been avoiding sessions for 3 weeks now and I need to contact them ASAP," you plead with big eyes.

"Byun Baekhyun? Huh. Never really heard of their name. Are you sure you have a patient...? Uhh nevermind. You are getting so many appointments nowadays that it's hard to keep up," Jihyo frowns as she puts your coffee down.

"Jihyo it's really important," you ask seriously.

"Ahhh don't worry girl, I'll contact them for you so you should just focus on today's patients. Okay?"

Most of your patients had immense development with you over the past weeks. And as relieved as you were, you were also worried about the two who were still stuck at square 1.

"Minseok sshi, how are you sleeping these days?" you ask with a genuine smile.

Minseok's cat-like eyes were red and a little bit dazed. He shakes his head, answering your question without actually answering it.

"Bad? Is it because of the nightmares?"

He nods.

"Minseok sshi. What do you see in your nightmares? What do you see that scares you so much?"

His sad eyes look up into yours, and he sniffs a little.

He takes a deep breath, "I always have the same dream. It's always me lying on my bunker at the base camp, sleeping and a gunshot rings through the air. It shocks me awake. I climb down the bed and out of the room, in search of the source of the sound. I really wish I wouldn't do it because that is exactly where everything goes wrong. There I find them, they come at me with menacing eyes, hands outstretched over their head, and before I can understand what’s happening, they stab me. They keep stabbing me doctor... in the chest, in the abdomen, in- in the legs. Stabs and stabs of endless pain until there is nothing more. And then I finally jolt awake," he barely finishes, his forehead shining with swear.

Minseok was crying now. You slowly walk towards him and hand him some tissues and sit beside him. Patting his back.

"The person who stabs you, can you remember their face?”

“It's always a different person each time, but when I wake up I can’t remember them. I can't live with my parents anymore. Because I feel they are North Korean spies who are out to kill me. But that’s not true, right doc?” he looks at me with frantic eyes, “Doc, I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me. Please."

Jongin has dark circles around his eyes now. His hair is more disheveled than ever.

"Jonginah, why aren't you attending your painting classes anymore? Your mom is worried for you."

He shrugs, nonchalant, distant.

"Jonginah, you have to tell me how you feel. If you keep it pressed inside you, it's going to become darker. Please tell me." you plead, your eyebrows pulled together in a worrisome frown.

His face softens at your tone. He looks at you with hopeless eyes.

"It's just that..." he sighs, his shoulders sagging more and more, "I don't see any point to anything anymore. I feel like my whole existence is a burden. How I'm just simply taking up space."

"Jongin. That is not true. You are not some object taking up space. You are someone’s son, someone’s student, and a wonderful human being. I can see how so many people care about you so much and admire you. I wish you could try to see yourself from other people's eyes. Because you are worth so much more than you think."

A knock sounds on the door.

"I'm so sorry, but Mr. Kim's mom left this right now and told me to give them to you to discuss in session," Jihyo says as she walks in, her hands full of portfolios of beautiful drawing. Even though you know Jihyo knows she can’t interrupt when you’re meeting up with the patients, you don’t say anything. You can't help but notice your patient sitting up, the slight brightening of his eyes as your assistant walks in, his gaze not leaving her face even once.

"Here you go. Please don't mind but I happened to take a peek and they are gorgeous. Mr. Kim, you are so talented," Jihyo gushes as she looks at your patient with earnest eyes. Jongin sits up straighter, a smile adorning his plump mouth.

"You really think so? Thank you. Thank you so much Ms. Jihyo," he says gruffly, but you can see his eyes leaving the dull vibes so fast.

"Ah, you know my name! It's no problem. I'll leave you two now," Jihyo chuckles as she moves towards the door.

"Ms. Jihyo wait!" Jongin says, standing up now. There was a nervous vibe radiating out of him.

"Doctor, if you don't mind. And Ms. Jihyo, if you don't mind as well. I would like to draw you." he said.

"Me?" Jihyo squeaks, incredulous. But your heart feels triumphant at Jongin's words.

"Yes. I really, really want to, draw you."

The day ends with Byun Baekhyun being a no show. You bid goodbye to your 21-year-old assistant, being disappointed when she says she couldn't find their contact number.

"It's not even registered. Are you sure you got the name right?"

You sigh as you take a warm shower and sit on your bed, rubbing your hair dry, your head full of nobody else but Baekhyun.

That weird feeling was back again. The feeling of being watched. You slowly turn your head towards your open window and breathe a sigh of relief when you find no one there. You dress up in your white silk nightdress and head downstairs to heat some of the food Jihyo had left over.

Before you move towards the kitchen, a loud knock on the door halts you in your steps.

It was nearly 10 pm. Frowning slightly and tightening your robe, you peak through the looking glass only to gasp in surprise.

It was him.

In haste of wanting to know where he was all these days, you yank the door open recklessly.

Immaculately styled yet again, Byun Baekhyun always looked handsome, but today he looked hot beyond words. The stylish one button black shirt, and the love engraved belt showing off his snatched waist, all the words that you wanted to speak fled you entirely.

"Hello, Doctor. I bought you champagne," he looks up from under his abundance of baby eyelashes and smirks a delicious smile. And your unruly heart did that dull heavy thump for him again.

You were now seated in the living room of your too big a house, him sitting awfully close beside you. It wasn't a bit wise of you, inviting in the irresistible man in your house so late at night. But you were tired. You were lonely. And you couldn't let him leave you with so many questions starting up a storm inside you, you never knew when he would come back again now that he stopped his ghosting.

You were determined to hold on to him as long as you were allowed.

So here you two were, cozying by the warm fire and sipping on the delicious drink he had bought so generously, declining one for himself though.

Apparently, he had gone overseas, his brother being the boss now, he hadn't been able to say no. You felt stupid for worrying so much, and also a bit apprehensive because he could've at least let your assistant know, who simply doesn't want to admit he is an actual client here!

"I'm sorry." he tell you, reading your mind easily through your eyes, "I should've let you know. It all just happened so fast. Coming back to you was very, hard," he clears his throat, taking your glass and filling it up for the second time.

You ask him how his health was, and he smiles brightly only to say it wasn't that well either.

"Are your traumas coming back?" you ask, clearly concerned. Not realizing you had leaned in too close to him in your worry.

He looks into your eyes and smiles yet again, the smile not really reaching his eyes.

"You look really beautiful without your spectacles," he whispers instead, causing you to jerk back, the compliment hitting you hard right in the heartstrings.

He stands up again now and wanders towards your turntable, and you can't help but notice how he always tiptoes over the important questions. How ambiguously he expresses his emotions.

It frustrates you a bit about how you don't know even one-fourth of his feelings. Except for his flirty smile and chivalrous moves that just seem to be a part of his personality. And so, because he never lets you on anything personal about him, you can tell he is just here to chase away his loneliness, too. And that you are just his doctor.

Not someone important enough to convey his feelings into.

You dump your glass of champagne at one go, letting the sweet burn numb the clench of your chest and pour another round for yourself.

You don't hear as he admonishes you, asking you to slow down.

"It's okay. I don't have work tomorrow anyways, so," you down another glass as you glance sideways at him, to catching him shaking his head.

Slow music fills the room as he sets one of your vinyl records over the turntable. The sweet voice of Eric Benét fills the room.

"I love this song so much," you say, a little tipsy, and the tunes of 'Still With You' match with the beats of your heart. You shake your head from side to side to the beats, smiling when Baekhyun grabs your hand and pulls you up, flush against his body.

"Dance with me," he whispers hoarsely, putting both your hands around his neck and putting his own a little lower from where your waist is, over the curves of your hips.

His hand feels light over the fabric of your flimsy nightdress, somehow revealed when the robe’s knot had come loose. Your nipples strain against your slip in reaction to his proximity. You should feel embarrassed, but the heady feeling of his hand rubbing circles over the small of your exposed back blur that twinge out completely. You couldn't feel his temperature for some reason, but you felt yourself getting a different kind of warm as you dare to look up and into his eyes. Maybe it was the champagne, or him, but everything felt so shiny, glowing. The most beautiful being him.

He presses his forehead against yours, and you both breathe out slowly as you move to the beautiful keys of the piano. Swaying in the same place, the warmth from the fireplace warming your flushed bodies more and more.

Not once he lets go of his eye contact, his nose rubbing against yours every now and then. His ragged exhale lets your slightly drunk mind know that he was feeling as affected by this little dance as you were. The feelings that echoed in his eyes, the adoration, and tightening of his hands over your hips like he was afraid you'd slip away from his hands, made your eyes tear up. And you felt -you physically felt- your heart becoming this man's, this man you knew so little about.

"Baekhyun sshi.." you whisper when the song ends.

"Baekhyun, please. Always Baekhyun for you, my love," he says, his eyes closing as he leans in for your lips.

You do nothing to stop him.

You didn't know where your nightdress had slipped away, and or when your panties were replaced with his wet mouth, making your cavern turn wetter.

You gasped shakily, your hands grasping the headboard railing of your bed tightly as he slips in his fingers inside you, your head a little dizzy from the reckless champagne intake, but not enough to not feel what he was making you feel.

"My love, my love, my love..." he moans somewhere from between your legs, his naked shoulders flexing, his head bobbing up and down as his mouth eats you out.

You don't know when you end up being taken from behind, all you could feel was his delicious length rub your walls as no one else had ever done.

"Baekhyun..... Baekhyun...... Baekhyun," you chant in gasps, in between shallow inhales of dear breaths.

The turntable downstairs plays the passionate verses of Whitney Houston's of "I Have Nothing" as you get fucked equally passionately by this man you had fallen in love with.

He pulls you up by your neck, propping you over his organ and pressing you against his sweaty chest as he licks up the sweat of your neck hungrily. You were not praying, yet as you both knelt, it felt like it, his fingers wound through one of your hands and holding it over your heart, the other hand reaching down to rub sweet, torturous circles over your swollen wet nub.

"….Even if I want you so much it drives me crazy." his lips caress the words in your ear, making your spinning body and mind momentarily focus for a bit,

"Even if I want and call for you all night long.... you ghost," he says, breathing heavily, pounding into you one more time that undoes your whole body and sends you into the shivering mess of a mind-numbing orgasm.

The next morning or evening-you couldn't tell- the throbbing veins around your temples shake you awake. You moan, feeling quite disoriented as you turn from your side, your naked arm falling over the cold side of your bed instead of the body of a warm, alive man- the man who had made love to you so incredibly last night. "Baekhyun?" you whisper, your voice hoarse and laced with a tiny tremor as your heart starting to realize that he hadn't stayed over. Maybe he just left before I woke up, you think to yourself as you sit up slowly, your head giving a spin and making you realize that you had too many drinks the previous night. Or maybe he was never... here. Another sinister thought slams into you like a whisper, realization hitting you as your eyes scan for any traces of him being in your room, your sheets devoid of any of the milky white trace of the love-making you remembered too well last night. You were too sure he hadn't used a condom. No, that's impossible. He was here! you retort back to the sinister thought as you jump out from the covers, naked and quite sore. You rush to your bathroom, and when you stand in front of the mirror, there they were. Love bites. The marks Baekhyun had made over your thighs. Red and biting, small but so beautiful. Your fingers slowly trace each one, feeling relieved by the second that you had not dreamt of such an incredible night. That it had happened. And tracing those suckling marks also made you remember how good you felt when he was making them on you. "Oh Baekhyun," you whisper, tearing up a little, and wishing he had stayed back for at least one cuddle session. Why did he leave? Why didn't he at least leave a short message for you? Will he never come back? Will he ghost you again? Will you not see him for another three weeks? The thought became heavier and unbearable as your mind kept thinking about them, regurgitating the obvious. Soon you dressed and climbed downstairs to find his contact number again. You knew his full name. So you were bound to find his information somewhere on the internet. You didn't know if he had taken this as a one night stand. To you, it didn't feel like it, and when he had whispered those words in your ear again before he made you come, you were sure it wasn't just a one-sided love affair. Passing by the living room, you notice the champagne. But there was no glass. You frown and when you open your office room door, your frown becomes deeper. "Minseok sshi? What- what are you doing here?" you ask, stepping into the room, your heart beating fast because it wasn't normal to find one of your patients, one of the unstable ones, sitting behind your desk and going through your work files on an off-duty day. Sipping a glass of champagne in broad daylight. "Ohh, you're finally awake!" Minseok says, a little too chirpily, "I'm sorry for letting myself in your house like this. But I had to meet you. I saw you in my dreams last night." Minseok's took one more sip and put the glass down, his eyes full of terrible dark circles, his hair messed up. He looked like something.... something had broken in him. You step towards your patient with wary steps, eyeing the mess he had made by throwing down all your books and record files all over the floor in the search of something. "Minseok sshi, I'm sorry to ask you about this. But I need you to leave," you say calmly, one hand raised facing towards him. "I can't leave now, doctor. Not when I have finally seen the face of the North Korean spy who stabs me to death every day in my sleep," Minseok laughs in a high pitch, maniacal voice, raising goosebumps all along your spine. "Minseok sshi, I don't understand. Please you're not in the right state of mind now." "Right state of mind?? Huh! My dreams got worse after you gave me those pills. And look at this," he raises the painting of a rectangle, painted in the colors that resembled the North Korean flag. Red. White. Blue. Let's have these colors as the major pointer for how you are feeling each day, okay, Jongin? you had said. You mentally curse at yourself, fear trickling into your veins. He smashes the champagne glass on the floor and sits up, his whole face red now, his beautiful cat eyes big and bloodshot, "I should have known they had sent you for me. You are the North Korean Spy assigned to kill me. I should've known it was you, whore," he spits on the painting, his hands becoming fists as he crumped the paper in a ruined ball. "Minseok sshi, you are having an episode right now. Please remain calm, please I am not your enemy. I am your doctor. I am your doctor," your hands were shaking now, you should've grabbed your phone on the way. But you had to remain calm, because crumbling down would only result in both of you getting hurt. As if all the words spoken out of you hit an invisible barrier and never reached him, Kim Minseok roars like a dangerous animal, pushing everything and anything on your table, rushing towards you. And you couldn't do much but sprint for the telephone at your side. Before you could speed dial Jihyo's number, his body knocks into yours, rendering you speechless and out of breath, his heavy body climbing onto yours, his knees sitting on top of yours in the classic "tackle your enemy to the ground" taught at the military training, what they didn't teach was how to choke your opponent to death. "No more you. No more dreams," he wheezes hoarsely, wrapping his steels arms around your throat. Being a small woman, you could only do so much but claw at his hands as he squeezed the life out of you, your windpipe almost about to crush from the pressure. You could feel your eyes starting to burn, your mouth going dry, your nose blocking up as the life went out of you little by little. Soon the strength from your hands became feeble too, your vision becoming blur with tears, your oxygen-deprived brain slowly starting to die. Minseok pulls you by your neck and slams your head against the wooden floor. The last thing you hear before you lose your consciousness was running footsteps. The silhouette looked familiar. That same coat and yellow shirt you'd seen so many times. It was Byun Baekhyun, a bat in his hand, poised up and about to hit. It was Baekhyun, and he was here to save you. Save me, Baekhyun.....

You wake up with a jolt, scrambling upright with your hands around your neck, gasping for air as if you were just drowning. No hands were pressing against them; although they were very sore. "Sshhh it's okay. I'm here. I'm here," you hear a familiar voice whisper beside you and your head turns, body frightened and still alert, only to see that it was Baekhyun. Baekhyun in his comfortable turtle-neck and unstyled, boyish hair. Baekhyun with a worried look in his eyes. Baekhyun who was your patient but you didn't care anymore because you loved him. A sob leaves your chest as he arms wrap around you, pulling you into his strong and warm chest, pulling you into his delicious scent that soon calms down your frayed nerves. "It's gonna be okay. You are okay now my love. I'm here for you," he keeps repeating it like a mantra, kissing the crown of your soft hair as he rocked you like someone rocking a baby who had to awaken from a bad, bad dream. "What happened to him? Tell me the police have detained him before he hurts someone else..." you ask tensely, frightened that if Minseok was still out there, someone else too would be getting harmed as you did. "Yeah.. yeah. They-they got him. He is..uhh- they took him to criminally-insane mental hospital. Don't worry, he is not going to hurt anyone ever again." You look up from his chest now, "I would've been dead Baekhyun. If you hadn't come on time, he would've killed me. You saved my life," you say, your voice breaking at the end. Now it was Baekhyun's eyes which watered with tears, he pulls you in his arms once again as the tears fall painfully from his eyes, "I'm sorry, baby girl. I should've come sooner. I should've never left you alone. Why did I leave you alone?" he starts to cry hard now, baffling you into stopping yours. "Baekhyun... what are you saying.." There was so much pain in his cries. You kiss his temple as he now weeps into your chest, saying sorry again and again, even after you said it wasn't his fault. Baekhyun stays with you for the next week, not moving from your side even for a second. He takes care of everything too. He says he called Jihyo to cancel all your appointments and to not come by, even though you wanted to see Jihyo and feel her comforting presence. Baekhyun removes all the mirrors in the house too, strangely, he says that the bruises around your neck were only healing now, and looking at them would only incite the trauma so it was better off not seeing them. You agree wholeheartedly, like everything else he was asking you to do. He stops you from going into your office, as that would simply also be traumatic to you. That somehow felt stranger than removing the mirrors. Even when you told him many times that the place needed cleaning up and re-organizing, he said he had taken care of it.

He was taking care of everything.

You finally didn’t feel lonely anymore.

"Promise me you won't go in there. I've fixed everything, so just be with me," he would whisper ardently, hugging you and rubbing your back multiple times until you forget to give a damn.

Having Baekhyun made all your loneliness vanish into dust, he was such a warm soul to have around. His presence seemed more solid to you somehow, or you felt lighter, just like he used to feel. He'd cook while singing, would go to the bathroom while singing and while dancing with you he would also sing. But it was always the same song. You were convinced you had heard it somewhere often, but couldn't quite put a finger on it.

It was the night before the weekend ended, and it was raining heavily outside. Baekhyun was playing his jazz playlist again, his hair wet and messy around his forehead, his mouth iterating with the many stories he never seemed to run out of, and it was so romantic, so warm, so happy and giddy- you felt like you would explode. More than that, you felt like you would die if you didn't lick the pasta sauce off his lips right then.

"Isn't it tasty? My friend Kyungsoo had taught me this recipe," he said with a mouth full of meatballs and pasta, still pretty clueless about the slight sauce over his top lip that had missed his tongue when he had licked up his lips, and that was begging for your attention.

You smiled and nodded your head in agreement, putting your index finger forward and quickly swiping the sauce and putting it in your mouth, "Very delicious," you said after sucking on it a little too loud, catching how Baekhyun's eyes glossed over at your little act.

He dropped his fork and lifted that finger that you'd just licked, and keeping his eyes on yours, sucked your saliva off it.

Abandoning your plates of pasta, you both move like opposite magnets placed at close proximity, and devour each other's mouths, tongues rubbing together as you rip off the clothes from each other's body.

The days Baekhyun had spent, not once had he kissed you or sensually touched you. Yes, you both had cuddled, maybe even spooned, but nothing more than that.

Now you were sitting on top of Baekhyun's straining hard-on at the dining table, grinding your clothed pussy over it as your mouths clashed over who should be the more dominant kisser.

Baekhyun grunted and stood up suddenly, pinning you against the wall nearby, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist giving you the leverage you needed to keep grinding against his length, until he stopped you- removing one of his strong hands to bring out his cock and line it against your hole. You whimpered as he rubbed his tip, gathering all your juice from the clit to the vagina before slipping in smoothly.

You both gasp at the penetration, his gasps ragged as your snug hole feels so good around him, your gasps shaky as his width stretches you all too well, and before Baekhyun starts his mind-blowing thrusts, he whispered, "I will cum in you as much as I want tonight. And I'll make you cum so many times that you will forget your name, and remember only mine. Mine," he growls possessively, his pupils strangely black and so dark. Your walls squeeze themselves around him hard, anticipating the many little deaths he just promised with insane greed and lust.

And of course- Love.

In the morning, Baekhyun is still sleeping when you wake up. Your mind feels satisfied seeing him beside you, your bed not empty and cold like that first time, but warm and smelling of him. Your eyes trace his features, his hands outstretched over his head, his brown hair messy and covering his forehead, his lips pinker than you could remember them being. You were reminded of all the things those lips did to you last night and you blushed unconsciously. Your body shivered from remembering the times he made you come and you let out a shaky breath. Last night was gonna be hard to top off. Despite your wish to snuggle inside his chest and entangle your naked legs with his in this brilliant morning and sleep some more, you were starving. So you decide to go downstairs and for the first time, make breakfast for him and you both. As you come downstairs alone, it feels as if, as if a cloud lifts from over your head. You slow down your pace as you think how you have not talked with your sister for days, how Jihyo had not visited you at all, and now you never hear your phone that would ring so many times a day, ring even once. You entirely forget about breakfast, moving like a magnet towards the room you have avoided for over a week. You twist it open, and soon a raunchy smell hits your nose too hard. You don't dare to turn on the lights in the hopes of making any sound that would wake Baekhyun up. He would be furious if he found you here. You didn't want to make him upset. You groan as you make yourself move forward still, your hands outstretched in the darkness, the only destination being your phone that sat near your coffee table. Every breath you inhaled hurt your insides cause of the god-awful smell. Whatever had died in here? Thankfully your telephone was okay as your hands bought them to your lap. You pressed on to listen to the voicemails, the first one being from Jihyo. "Hey, this is so unlike of you to not receive your calls. I rang the bell so many times. But when you didn't open I assumed you had gone somewhere. Please call me as soon as you get this." "Doctor, I canceled all your appointments after hearing the news. I hope you are okay. I understand that you would want time off when one of your patients die like that. It's so unfortunate that Minseok sshi killed himself. But you have to know it wasn’t your fault." Minseok is dead?? your hands start shaking as the voicemails keep pouring in. "Hey, love. It's been days. Please at least let me know if you are alright. I am so worried about you. Maybe this will interest you enough and stop you from ghosting me like this, but I wanted to tell you something about Mr. Byun Baekhyun. I really really think you got his name wrong..." I could've never gotten his name wrong... ...because the man's records show he is dead." Impossible. "He is been dead for five years. He was an alcoholic, most probably after his wife had died very suddenly. He overdosed on sleeping pills and drowned himself in the bathtub of his own house." You stand up, the telephone falling on the floor as your legs shake. You are unable to breathe. "The most creepy part is, he was the previous owner of the house you're living in now. Jesus. I know right. Seriously crazy. Were you seeing his ghost all these days or something?" Jihyo's muffled voice chuckles, her tone light-hearted and joking. Joking... "What are you doing here?" a voice speaks from behind you. You whip around, scared shitless as Baekhyun's familiar form slips inside the door smoothly, almost gliding. But instead of walking towards you, he stands there, motionless.

"I-I was just checking my messages-" you try to speak. But right then, Sana's loud voice cuts through the room.

"Unnie! Why aren't you picking up your phone? Are you all alright? Please I need you to come home right now. Aunt Yuri is in the hospital. They are saying it’s a heart attack. Unnie… unnie. I’m so scared. Please call me." her panicked tone becomes a small voice as she cries helplessly, seeping in some ounce of bravery in you.

"Baekhyun, I have to go, I have to go to my sister right now," you whisper urgently as you try to move out of the godforsaken room, your wobbly legs gaining some strength as you avoid Baekhyun’s fathomless eyes, the deadness in them causing you to question everything that is happening around you.

Questioning reality.

Questioning his existence.

“You can’t go,” he whispers, his voice not of the sinister, cold kind as you were feeling.

You stop in your tracks as you hear the words. You stop in your tracks as he moves towards you, one step at a time. He doesn’t feel solid anymore. He feels like a part of a nightmare now.

“But… my sister needs me,” you plead brokenly, the room and his presence suddenly suffocating you.

He is standing in front of your shaking form as your eyes let go of the first teardrop since you had come in here. The unbearable stench had grown stronger, wafting towards you like you were standing too close to the source. He shakes his head, his eyes now red and watery around the edges, his face pale and devoid of any color. “You can’t leave,” he says this time, a different kind of heaviness in his words. “You can’t leave me. You can’t,” he repeats, his hands clasped and his shoulders slumped in some sort of defeat. “Why not?” you step away from him as he walks closer to you, his hands reaching out towards your face. “No!” you slap his hand away, hurt registering in his eyes immediately, “What the fuck does that mean?! You have to give me answers Baekhyun! Right now! That call from Sana was four days ago! I could’ve been there for her right away if you had let me come in here! And Jihyo! She- she says that Minseok is dead! She is saying that you are dead! Fuck, what- what does that even mean? And now you’re saying that you can’t let me go? For fuck’s sake, tell me why? Why can’t I leave? WHY?” you scream, tears pouring down your face as you look at Baekhyun’s shaking shoulder, unknowingly stepping further back from him in frenzy and to get rid of the smell that you were convinced was coming from him.

“Answer me Baekhyun!!!” you cry. Taking one more step back, your feet suddenly hits an object on the ground and you stumble, falling backwards, catching yourself from falling too hard as you land on your hands.

The small light from the curtains shines through, and your eyes adjust over the object that had made you trip.

At that moment, all air abandons your lungs, a thin shrill starts ringing in your ears as you see your own eyes staring back at you, glossy and unseeing, your face blue and bloated, a streak of dried blood running from your mouth towards your neck carrying the dark, angry handprints that had crushed your windpipe.

The smell wasn't coming from Baekhyun. It was from your body, your dead, rotting body lying limp and unmoving on the cold ground.

“No no no no no no no-" you scramble away from it, your shaking hands pressing against your mouth as you stifle your gasping cries in them.

Baekhyun presence surrounds you suddenly, his arms wrapping around you and pressing your head against his chest. “This is why I didn’t want you to come in here. I’ve been such a bad husband, I failed to protect you the second time too,” Baekhyun says, his eyes dead and numb, his face expressionless and morose, his thin fingers quietly combing in your hair in robotic motions as you hiccup and sob, unable to look away from your dead body. “When you first moved in, I could feel your soul, Yoojung, I knew that you had come back to me. And I had to come to you, to let you know that I was here, that I was stuck here waiting for you,” he iterates, his voice husky and soft as if he was speaking to a frightened child.

“Yoojung?”

“But you didn’t remember me. You didn’t even remember our song. The song you had written for me. The song that you had written the night you had jumped off the bridge, the night you had killed yourself,” Baekhyun keeps on talking, letting sobs break from his dead chest now.

"I had memorised it you see, I had memorised it and repeated it until the moment the water filled up my lungs in the bathtub," he says, smelling your hair deeply.

“Why did you leave me, Yoojung? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me, hm?” his repeats in a sing-song voice, rocking your body in his arms as he cries. The hand in your hair grips back roughly as he pulls your face to look at him. “Look at me. These eyes, the soul inside of you.. yes, it is you. Because nobody has ever looked at me the way you do. When that man came to kill you, I could’ve saved you. I wanted to save you. But I didn’t...”

You gasp as the horror deepens, tears streaming down your face endlessly.

“Now that I think of it, in the end, I think it was… it was for the best. Because now you won’t be able to leave me even if you wanted to. This house doesn’t let you leave. It doesn’t let you leave even if you try. I tried to leave, I tried to join you too, it was so hard when even after taking my life I couldn't be with you. But that's okay now. Everything will be okay now,” he says, his hollow eyes that were big and round, finally clearing the dead numbness into a mix of insanity and love.

He brushes the hair away from your tear stained face and kisses your cheeks. “Yes, my love. Do you remember me now? Do you remember us? Do you remember how much I loved you even though I was always so far away? I will never leave your side now, Yoojung. We will stay here, in this house that you had built for us, and decorated with your beautiful paintings.”

“You and I will be together forever.”

A helpless sob builds up from your chest as his words hit you, a soul-crushing cry leaving your lips that the dead man’s ghost mistakes as a cry of happiness. His hollow, crazy eyes smile through his own tears, wrapping his arms around you tightly as you cry and cry and cry.

You cry because you were not his wife. You cry because you were not Yoojung. You were not Yoojung.

THE END

148 notes · View notes