Tumgik
#baggenshield
bilbosversion · 3 months
Text
and isn’t it just so ⊹ ࣪ ˖ pretty to think .˚ ₊ ⊹
all along there was some / invisible string
tying you to me? ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄
Tumblr media
invisible string — taylor swift
187 notes · View notes
dryadalisliv · 11 months
Text
“Pppff i dont have the energy to write this essay”
“-Anyway” *writes a 10k words long fanfiction about gay people*
855 notes · View notes
hueysanxiety · 3 months
Text
Bilbo: I want a simple life, I want to watch this acorn grow into a tree outside my warm cozy house 🥺
Thorin: you just committed 20 homicides in 30 minutes
Bilbo:
Bilbo: ok but I’m just a little guy
123 notes · View notes
Text
I need Thilbo fic recs that recognize the cultural differences between hobbits and dwarves. Because dwarves are loud and affectionate species. They slap each other on the back, they hug, the weird headbutt thing Dwalin and Balin do, they make jokes about their friends. They show their affections loudly. They aren’t afraid to show off their love for someone. Dwarves are a proud race and they show that quite often. But hobbits are a more quiet kind of love. Hand holding, forehead kisses, hand kisses, laying your head in their shoulder, falling asleep while they read to you, bouquets of flowers, picnics in a secluded area with all your favorite foods, baking together, reading together, admiring the stars kind of love. Hobbits are much more reserved than Dwarves. They take pride in their hosting skills and gardens. And I NEED to see Bilbo and Thorïn bumbling around trying to follow each others courting traditions and failing miserably RIGHT NOW.
99 notes · View notes
fateshurly · 1 year
Text
Bilbo: why are you on the floor
Thorin: I'm depressed
Thorin: also I was stabbed. Can you get Oin please
128 notes · View notes
alienboyoutaspace · 5 months
Text
Fuck you anons that leave hate or unnecesary harsh comments under AO3 fics. Legit no reason whatsoever.
DONT LIKE DONT READ, YOU FUCKHEADS.
You are not the main character, no one cares if something doesnt cater to your specific likes. Grow up.
I woke up wanting to re-read a fic that was updated yesterday after a hiatus. I had read the update, but wanted to appreciate the whole fic again. The foul comments i saw under the update...
This morning the fic was gone! Good job you imbecilic pieces of egocentric shit.
33 notes · View notes
sunshinetomioka · 10 months
Text
Day 22 of my challenge
baggenshield :]] look at them eheh
Tumblr media Tumblr media
23 notes · View notes
iknowimdespicableme · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Voice like a drum, love like a melody
🍂A Baggenshield angst word vomit because I love them🪨
⚠️Warning⚠️
The Hobbit Spoilers and Major Character Death
Word Count: 1407
I have never said I am a perfect man. Polite to a fault, kind as often as I can, truthful when it exists out of the realm of my greed. I am not perfect, and I am well aware of many of my shortcomings as they have made themselves evident over the course of my life.
When I was just a young thing, my father caught me scruffing with a wild fox over a branch neither of us had ever seen before. We had no claim over it, we laid eyes on it at roughly the same time. And yet, we both believed we had a divine right to this dead appendage of a birch tree. My yelling alerted my father, a slender man with a larger brain than anyone. That fact nearly made up for his lack of labor ability. And yet, the fox and I were tired enough that he was able to pry us apart. We must’ve been exhausted, for my father lost the strength to carry me a few months before. I was furious with him for letting the fox get away, and he held me still from squirming. He asked me if I needed the stick. Although I yelled that I did, he knew there was no true reason as I couldn’t give him one. It was then he realized that my greediness of youth would likely follow me to my older years. So, he gave me a rule to hopefully quell or confine it.
“Never take someone else’s need for your wants.” He shook me and let me fall onto the dirty, thornful forest floor and that was the end of the discussion.
And I have followed this advice as often as the opportunity has presented itself. For this reason, I have held myself with the title of a humble man for a long time. I acknowledge that once a humble man announces this, he will lose said title. And, yet, I continue. Because I lost my humility two years ago. I have spent the last two years trying to rope it back to me, but it has eluded me. Finally, with the encouragement of memories of friends eating away at my mind, I have caved and will finally describe this moment in pen, in hopes that doing so will allow it to cease being described behind my eyes every waking moment; even further into my dreams.
He had a voice like the banging of a drum, deep and rolling as the ocean. For the longest time I felt as though love was the wrong word. It was more comfort than love, like a warm bath. He wore dark furs that covered him like scales cover a dragon or a vault covers a treasure. He strode with urgency, commanded with the bravery of a general, gazed at others with rarely a hint of kindness.
When trying to understand him, one must first understand the true language he spoke. His truest of intentions were not found in common or dwarvish, his face or his hands; but his eyes, oh, they held so much. They would stare at me so intensely across the campsite, I would think he was scolding me like an enemy. They would follow my every move, ready to sneer. If eyes could have killed back then, I would have been dead for decades by now.
Every step I took, I seemed to want his approval more and more. Like a river carving a mountain, slowly but surely I was adamant to convince him of one thing and one thing alone; that I deserved to be there. Among warriors and kings and the wisest of our time, I was just a humble hobbit who longed to be right and thirsted for a story to tell.
I quickly found that the task I had set for myself was impossible. There was nothing I could do for Thorin’s favor that would grant me it. The reason was very simple: It is impossible to convince someone of something that you yourself do not believe in.
This changed after our run in with the Orcs of the underground and our skirmish with the Living Mountain. Made to fend for myself after being separated from the group, I will say I even impressed myself with how I managed to escape. (However, my dear reader, that is a tale for another day.) In that moment, I felt surer than anything that I had proven myself. And that is when it began.
I began to see the sun reflect in his eyes, and began to see that he softened ever so slightly when he laid eyes on me. I saw that he began to really, truly see me; and I, him. On such a cold, treacherous journey, with so much left lying ahead of us, eye contact and conversations that felt like a spring afternoon were more than welcome. So, we hid during the day and shone like the sun at night, watching each other like how mortals watch stars.
We orbited one another like spinning magnets, like turning planets. It felt otherworldly, the admiration I could see him hold for me. Running from wargs and resting in glades blurred all the same, an underlying delight lightened everything. Suddenly, the room stopped when I opened my mouth. The world was brighter, laughter was louder, even anger didn’t last as long nor as bad.
I belonged among kings and warriors and wise ones. Not only because I was coming into my own, but also because I was now able to see that all these people of legends were also vulnerable and gay and excitable; and just like me.
Now, my dear reader, I am sure you are wondering when I lost my humility. I have been selfish in this writing, omitting what you are truly here for. For that, I apologize. But, please offer some sympathy to an old man, cursed to remember his life in a better light than it had truly ever shown. Over these many years I have found that the sun will never shine brighter than in a memory. But, I have held you in suspense long enough.
It was the battle of the five armies. Around me was chaos and bloodshed and fear and death. Something had been rifted between Thorin and I, about the arkenstone. A sickness had come over him, like how a dragon covers his treasure. The clouds blotted out the sun in his eyes, moving too erratically to reflect the love I once knew. Love still feels odd to say. But, it is the truth.
I hate to admit it, but I was embarrassed to have missed the entire battle. I was rendered unconscious quickly into the clash, and I woke up too late. I once confided in Balin and he asked what I thought I was late for. My chest ached and my eyes darted and he knew.
I was late to reach Thorin. Too late to protect him. Too late to call for a healer or take the blow instead. The nasty, nasty wound, killing my one love. My spring, my sun, my warmth. I threw myself over him, hands trembling and voice refusing to be used.
He grasped my arm like a vice and looked at me like a star. My mountain, my rock, he was slowly drifting away. His sturdy voice was telling me what we both knew, and then he was pulling me closer.
As the lips I had longed after for so long touched me so tenderly, as I finally reached the end of my journey to reach him, I could so keenly feel the cold of the world around me eating at my skin. I could hear every slash and clang of combat. He was kissing me with such a need.
And I was too late to kiss back with my want. By the time I returned the kiss, his lips were becoming as cold as the snow and his body went limp like a pile of rocks. And I lost him.
I am not a humble man. Friends I forged in the fire of danger, I left behind. I am selfish. I left his memory, his legacy, his love behind. Every night I laid in bed, trying to forget that Thorin died not knowing that I, Bilbo Baggens, man of so many faults and so much love, had kissed him back.
11 notes · View notes
cutie4560 · 7 months
Text
Tale of Shail
Ch 1: Will You Join Us?
Tumblr media
Thorin Oakensheild and his twelve dwarves traveled to the Shire to recruit their fourteenth member, Master Baggins. An alleged burglar, spoken so highly of by Gandalf the Gray. The simple hobbit was plucked from his comfy and safe dwelling to embark on a journey and reclaim a lost kingdom. Traveling on horseback, the company took the eastern road. The wind blew across the treetops making the leaves dance. Gandalf rode enjoying the peaceful pace. "Ah good old Toby, care for some my dear Bilbo?" offering his pipe to the hobbit. Bilbo graciously declined the offer as the group came to a sudden halt. Gandalf pulled on his reins calling up to Thorin, "Why are we stopping now?"
Ignoring the wizard's question, Thorin commanded "Dwalin, Fili, follow me. The rest of you stay here until we return!" Thorin turned back to the path ahead, eyeing a distant sign of trouble. The remaining company, although confused, obeyed their king's order. Kili was not as easily swayed. While the others kept to themselves, Kili instead began to gallop towards the three.
"Thorin, what's this all about then? Our travel has already been delayed by that buttoned up halfing. Now we're wasting time; chasing squirrels and striking every brushing bush." Dwalin grumbled.
Thorin answered while pointing to the sky "Best our travel be delayed than ambushed. Look." His finger followed the trail down showing its origin. "Be on guard, nothing is safe out here." Thorin warned. Dismounting their ponies, the three walked the grounds seeing an open fire with a hen roasting on a spit. Kili secured his pony next to Fili's. He hid behind shrubs. Fili heard the rustling, turning back all he saw were four horses, nothing unusual. Wait, four? Fili rubbed his eyes then held his growling stomach. He was starting to get hungry and the delicious smell of something roasting wasn't helping. Concluding that he must be seeing things, Fili returned to his uncle.
Thorin found a full pack amongst the campground. Going through it, he pulled out a pouch with a boar symbol embroidered into the leather "This is from the Iron Hill…" He observed the surroundings. A single tent was pitched. Hanging from a line was a couple of wet tunics. Handing the pouch over to Dwalin, Thorin went to inspect the shelter. The tent's cloth consisted mostly of flimsy patchwork. Pulling back the flap, Thorin peeked in. Inside laid out a tattered sleeping bag, a pile of dirty dented tin dishes, and a pair of black disheveled boots flopped over in the corner.
Dwalin carefully searched through the sack. Flipping it upside down he violently shook out its contents. A sharpening kit, steel pegs, wooden hammer, glass bottles, and small miscellaneous items. Finding nothing of interest Dwalin dropped the sack. He went on exploring the campground.
Over the campfire was a small chicken roasting on a spit. Fili, smacking his lips, followed the scent of cooking meat. The juices dripped, sizzling on the flames. Fili went to pull off a drumstick when he noticed a large weapon leaning against the tree. He squinted to identify an emblem, a boar? Just then A hand grabbed his shoulder. "AHH!" The prince screamed in shock. Turning around Fili saw his younger brother.
Pieces of foliage were in Kili's hair and clothes. Whipping them off his face dropped from a grin to flushed embarrassment and guilt. He shushed Fili, afraid of being reprimanded by Thorin. "Me shush? You shush!" Fili lowered his tone. Although he was irritated, he didn't want to attract his uncle's attention or the unknown camper. "By Durin, I could have carved you up, sneaking up on me like that. I-...what are you doing here? Uncle told you to stay back." He angrily whispered, even fearing Thorin's wrath for Kili's sake.
"My skills were no use back there; just tinkers and miners prepping for a snack. I would have cut the bread wrong. Besides, if the three of you found yourselves in trouble I would be here to save you." Kili argued his case.
"Ha! YOU save ME? Tell me, who helped you up onto your pony this morning?" Fili laughed, tussling his brother's hair. The two exchanged a few brotherly arm smacks and shoves. Fili wrestled Kili onto the ground. Too focused on the tussle, the brothers neglected their volume. Pinned to the ground Kili laughed, he then soon squealed as Fili snorted and hung a line of drool above his face. Kili closed his eyes and squirmed trying to break loose. When he opened his eyes, Kili saw a figure behind his brother darkened by the morning sun.
Grabbing the back of Fili's coat collar Dwalin yanked him off Kili. "What are you two idiots doing?!" Dwalin impatiently scolded the boys. "This is no place to be playing around."
"It was only a bit of fun mister Dwalin." Kili said, getting up.
Throin rejoins the now three dwarves."Kili! You were to stay back with the others." He scolded his nephew. Hearing a noise the hair on Thorin's neck stood up, "Let's get back, something isn't right."
"Let's go." Dwalin said as the three walked back to the horses.
Fili took the opportunity to nab up a new weapon. His boot stepped on a pile of leaves triggering a hidden net trap. Fili was swept up hanging in a tree. "Fili! Quick cut him down!" Thorin yelled running over, Kili and Dwalin each pulled out a knife sawing at the ropes.
Demounting from their steads, the company took a moment to stretch. Their limbs hurt from riding so many hours straight. Bombur took the opportunity to prepare a small snack; nobody opposed and even helped. Bofur hopped off his pony, heading to the bushes. Bilbo panicked as Bofur trailed off from the group "Where are you going? Thorin said to stay here." The hobbit interrogated.
"Don't worry, just gonna release a stream before I burst. Been holding it in since that last hill peak." he said, pushing through the low branches of a bush. Bilbo, appalled by the lack of manners, walked away with a scowl.
"Curse these dwarves. Contracted to embark on an allegedly dangerous and honorable journey, and what does it entail? Stopping for luncheon, naps under shady oak trees, chirp listening and cloud watching! To think, I turned my anxieties into courage only to be faced with pleasures of Shire in unknown woods. Ha! Perhaps this burgling business won't be so difficult after all. I should hope any forest creatures are politely mindful about sharing their berries and seeds. O-or bandits and rouges would be well versed in folklore to discuss great novels. And the great mountain dragon will be the gracious host of afternoon tea!" Bilbo's worry was making him delirious. The Gray Wizard noticed the hobbit's distressed spiraling. He chuckled to himself then approached the halfling to provide much needed comfort.
"Bilbo, my lad. You seem stressed by factors of your own conjuring. Why not stop and breathe? Look around and intake your new surroundings. I'm certain you've never witnessed russulas like these in the Shire before, have you?" Gandalf encouraged.
"Incredible. Any hobbit would be so ecstatic to come across such a fungi. They'd throw themselves down hills to snag a cap." Bilbo answered sarcastically. The wizard laughed at his friend's attitude, allowing Bilbo to lighten up and share a chuckle as well. "Joking aside, Gandalf, this is not what I expected of this quest. I'm not opposed to postponing sudden death at any turn. However, the prolonging of any unforeseen dangers is growing my paranoia. We are undoubtedly overdue for a mishap."
"Indeed we are." Gandalf agreed under his breath, looking out to the dark of the trees. He looked back to the uneasy hobbit "..And this isn't your first journey? Hahaha." The two shared a laugh again. "Come, Bilbo. Let us roam these grounds and clear our minds. We'll need them to be sharp for the well-read bandits you plan on running into." They wandered off, sparking some Old Tobey.
"Oh yeah…" Bofur sighed after relieving himself. Fixing himself, Bofur was ready to join the others when something caught his attention. Walking deeper into the woods, he found a stump housing a pile of fresh picked berries placed on a leaf. "Well, well look at this. Someone left Bofur a lil treat." The hungry dwarf popped one in his mouth. "Delicious! Odd it being here, but who am I to argue on an empty stomach." Picking up the leaf, Bofur took the snack to go. So enamored by the berries' juices, Bofur was too engaged in licking his fingers to notice a lurking presence. When Bofur turned to head back, the berries flew out of his hand from being startled. A hooded figure stood in front of him. "Where'd you come from? Sorry, were these yours?" He asked. Backing away slowly, Bofur bumped into the stump. He continued to walk backwards around the obstacle, still receiving no reply from the stranger. "Listen, just an honest mistake. I can go pick you some more!" He offered with a worrisome smile. A subtle sound below him drew his attention. Bofur looked down to see his foot in a hidden rope loop. "Uh oh." He said before being snagged by a snare trap. Bofur yelled as he was dragged across the ground up into a tree. His hat fell to the ground and Bofur hung upside down. "Y-you made this trap? Mighty talented! Hehe. H-hard to catch dwarves, being that we are sooooo hefty!" He awkwardly chuckled. His nervous smile shifted into a frown as the stranger approached. They drew out a dwarven dagger from behind their lower back. "Coming to cut me some slack, yeah? HehehehaaAAAHHH! BOMBUR! BIFUR! ANYBODY, HELP!"
With ears of a fox, Gloin heard Bofur's distant cries. He shushed his brother's ramblings to listen harder. The deaf dwarf didn't notice and continued to go on about directions. "So I believe we need to go to the end of this treeline until we hit these sharp looking pointy bits. Once we climb those ridges we'll be to the riverbend. Sure it looks wee bit spooky but it'll cut our commute in half. Right Gl-...Gloin?" The redhead had walked away.
Gloin gathered Nori, Bifur, Balin, and Dori to check out the commotion. "Probably got his member snagged to a thornbush" Gloin joked. The five, thinking nothing of the scenario, headed into the dense woods. Gloin, although, carried his ax.
"You plan on ending his misery by cutting it off?" Nori laughed as he gestured to the ax.
"Gotta be prepared. Always." Gloin explained. Ori agreed and with a heavy stick, joined behind his brothers. The two turned around and commanded him to stay. "I can help!" Ori pleaded
"Whatcha gonna do? Poke em?" Nori snickered. Dori smacked his arm and gently turned Ori around and guided him to walk back.
"You've got a very important responsibility here to watch over our resources. We'd be nothing without the supplies, and wouldn't last another day." Dori smiled then returned to the fleeting group.
"Watch over my 'tatoes. I like em warm, not burnt. Haha-OW!" Dori smacked Nori upside the head for teasing. The young dwarf huffed and threw the stick to the ground. He was too upset to pay attention where it landed and almost tripped. Ori sat in the company of the remaining two dwarves, Bombur sat silently cooking and eating while Oin was holding an entire conversation by himself. Ori sighed, he knew he was more skilled than this. Bombur offered him a biscuit, Ori took and ate it.
The group of five dwarves urgently followed the sounds of Bofur's yells as they became louder. Out from the bushes, Nori and Gloin charged with battle cries. Both halted when they came across the scene. Seeing Bofur hung while a stranger stood underneath, Nori ran over to attack. The sound of metal clanked as the two daggers met. The two struggled, using their body weights to shove the daggers closer. Breaking off, the stranger dodged Nori's attack. The mystery opponent tripped on their cloak, falling to the ground. Gloin grunted as he swung his ax, aiming for their face. The stranger rolled out of the way in time to avoid it. They sprung up to punch Nori and pivoted to sidekick Gloin's gut. Thrown off, both men dropped their weapons. As the others joined in, the stranger nabbed Gloin's ax. The dangerous tool was swung around frantically with skillful care. The company kept an open perimeter. "CUT ME LOOSE, FOR DURIN'S SAKE!" Bofur yelled. Balin evaded combat to get Bofur down. The stranger saw Balin's effort and chucked the ax at him. The throw just missed, the blade landing right behind the back of Balin's heel. Bofur yelped as his hat dropped down. It fell on Balin's head. The oldest dwarf grunted and threw it off to focus on the task at hand. The hat landed on the stranger's face, obscuring their vision. Bifur and Dori took the opportunity to restrain the assailant while they were blinded, each dwarf grabbing an arm. Bofur kicked and spun around trying to help Balin with his escape "I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick."
"Stay still laddie." Balin fussed with the mechanism's knot. It was anchored to a tree with rough bark, the friction helped to hold the contraption together. The stranger threw themselves backwards onto the ground, Dori and Bifur collided heads and released their holds. The stranger tossed Bofur's hat aside and charged at the oldest dwarf. However, the second their palms made light contact with Balin's shoulders, an unexpected force tackled them to the ground. They landed with a painful grunt as the wind was knocked out of them.
"No one attacks my brother!" Dwalin yelled, pinning down the culprit's wrists up to their ears. Their legs flailed less and less under Dwalin as they coughed. Yanking off the hood, Dwalin revealed a female dwarf. "Durin's name…what's this?" Instinctively, he yielded his strength and blushed. The giant brute was embarrassed for her, having to be on top of this poor lass.
"That dwarf there scared mah kill away!" She snarled, regaining a steady breath. The stranger had the same growly dialect as Dwalin and Gloin.
"What is going on here?" Thorin demanded to know as he approached, his nephews following right behind.
"She was going to stab Bofur." Gloin answered, rubbing his hurt stomach.
Thorin with a furrowed brow cut Bofur free. He dropped to the ground and let out a groan of pain. Bofur caught his breath, giving Thorin a thumbs up. Through gritted teeth, Thorin barked an order at Fili and Kili "Get him up." The two pulled Bofur to his feet and Kili handed his hat back. Thorin kneeled beside Dwalin to inspect the attacker and took out a dagger. He pressed the blade against her neck as he questioned her. "Is this true? You tried killing one of my dwarves?"
"No, I was gonna cut 'em loose, and have a friendly talk." She answered him with a sarcastic tone. Thorin put some pressure, not enough to draw blood but his patience was wearing thin. Sensing now is not the time for games, she composed herself. "I just need me rope back, I have no interest in you townies. Now can you let me up?" She asked, looking up at Dwalin. He turned to his king for an answer. The two exchanged no words, but with a single small nod Thorin gave Dwalin the okay to release her. Climbing off, Dwalin offered her a hand up. She took it resentfully and was pulled back onto her feet. She looked over the tarnished rope in frustration "Took me hours ta set that trap; I was gonna catch a stag this time 'round." She spoke out loud.
"You set all these traps yourself? What of the one back at the campsite?" Thorin interrogated. He began to piece together this stranger. She's alone and has been for quiet some time since her skills were immaculate yet scrappy.
"You set those off too?! Gilthok meIf! Haven't wasted enough of me supplies already!" She yelled out in aggravation. Salvaging what she could, the lass stormed off back towards her campsite. The dwarves, making sure she wasn't up to anything malicious, followed behind on the way back to their site.
Balin walked alongside Thorin to discuss more about the she-dwarf. Thorin huffed at his proposed notion. "Balin, you're considering asking that… wild lander to join my company?" Thorin asked defensively. "She started trouble with my company and had no qualms with killing one, under no threat too. We know nothing of her intentions being out here."
"All I am saying is the lass has a valuable set of skills, Thorin. Obviously she knows how to survive in the wild. And what do we have? Gloin, the fire maker?" He asked, both looking over at the disheveled Gloin still groaning in pain. "You know, as do I. We need all the help we can find" Balin reasoned. Thorin crossed his arms, snubbing the idea. Balin chuckled, giving Thorin's shoulder a pat."You leave it to me." He assured the king. As they approached the company's site, the dwarves tensed up. They were ready to brawl again if the newcomer were to do anything unpredictable to their supplies or other members. However, the stranger continued to walk ahead at full speed with no intention of stopping.
Ori used the big stick he tripped over to now draw in the dirt. He was just finishing the details of a lovely liatris sketch when suddenly a stomping foot ruined his work. "Hey!" He looked up to scowl at Nori, but it wasn't his brother. In fact, it was a dwarf he did not recognize. The figure was not engaged in his whine and marched forward. She was walking so intently to her campsite that she didn't notice, nor cared, that she stepped on Bombur's cooked sausages.
Balin, trying to save face, called out and tried to catch up as she walked away. "Tell me lass, what can I call you?"
Looking back at the white haired dwarf, she turned away and answered."I'm called Shail."
"Lovely name. Means "radiant" n' "warrior", very fitting. A lass like yourself in these lands must be off on a journey. Any thought of where you are going? Maybe to the Blue Mountains, or the Iron Hills in the north?" Balin questioned, trying to receive any information. Shail turned around impatiently and finally spoke to the dwarf.
"Nowhere specific. The better question is where are you all off to? The Blue Mountains are back thada way. And none of ya seem like Iron Hill natives. So if all thirteen of ya are traveling there, it must be for business. And ya won't get much business there without no merchandise to haggle. Wouldn't ya agree?" She mouthed off.
"Yes, I'd suppose" He answered taken aback by her abrasiveness. When she turned to walk away again, he knew he had to cut to the chase. The lass' attention was short. "Though that is not were we are heading. No, you see we are off to the Lonely Mountain." Balin informed.
Stopping in her tracks, Shail turned back for the last time and looked in disbelief at him. "I know of only one dwarf who'd think of traveling back to that mountain..." Looking at the stoic black haired dwarf, "Thorin Oakensheild son of Thrain?...So the stories are true." She whispered under her breath.
"Yes, they are." Thorin confirmed walking up to her. He wore a stern look, towering over her. "Most of these dwarves aren't as advanced in survival as you seem to be."
She looked over Thorin's right shoulder to see what characters were in her presence. Shail watched as Bilbo flinched at a horse fly. The strange soft creature blew air and waved the bug away "No shite. I'd say before nightfall you lose half of them. Sorry, I don't travel with townies anyway." She disclaimed with sass.
"Townies?" Kili asked from the back. Thorin looked to the nosey prince, giving his nephew a glare.
"Townies; the folks who live in large packs. All soft and fragile, afraid of messing up your locks." She degraded. "The lot of ya just don't fit in with the wild. At least it don't look that way…" She went to inspect the members one by one. "Here let's take a look at ya. Come here!" She said tugging at a few of them. The lot became a bit defensive, unsure what she was up to. Shail chuckled at their fear. "How well can ya see in the dark?" She asked, looking into Fili's eyes. Shail then used one hand to pry his eye open wider. The prince stepped back and rubbed the irritated area. Turning briskly, she yelled into Oin's trumpet,"What about yer HEARING!?" The old dwarf flinched and groaned at the verbal assault. "Know how ta handle a weapon? Do ya even have one?" She asked Ori. She rummaged through his bag and pulled out his slingshot. "Well this doesn't seem too handy." Tossing it back to him without care, she went on. Ori fumbled the item when caught then held it dearly. "What about hiding your musk? Let's have a smell." grabbing Dori, she took a whiff of his forearm. "Ugh, you smell just like a townie! You need a good mud bath." She said before being shooed away. "I don't come for free either. So what can the great Thorin Oak-en-sheild offer me?" She asked in a mocking tone.
"A portion of Erebor's riches shall be yours!" Balin promised. He went to retrieve a contract from his satchel.
Grabbing the paper, Shail skimmed over it. "So I'd get a bunch of shiny bits?" She asked. Giving a nod, Balin was halted by the abrupt laughter. "I don't need that useless stuff. So I guess you can't offer me anything." Shail went, shoving the parchment onto Balin's chest. "Have fun getting eaten up by that dragon." Parting through the company, a scent caught her attention. She turned to the very large ginger dwarf and asked "Is that a tasty smell?" Bombur held an iced pastry in one hand while nibbling on another. "Well you can give it here." She went to snatch it, but Fili got to the sweet first. He tossed it over to his uncle.
Catching it, Thorin changed the offer on the spot. "I can offer you three meals a day and these so-called 'tasties' whenever accessible." Walking up to her, Thorin waved the dessert cake in Shail's face. "Better to have a meal offered than to chase one down. So , do you say? Will you join us?" He asked.
Shail's eyes followed the treat. "Double my servings on the meals and tasties. I also get first pick on a sleeping area. And get me as close to the Iron Hills as ye can. There, we can part ways..." She counter offered, holding out a hand. The two shook on it. She was officially a part of the company. Snatching her sweet, Shail gave the king a coy grin and took a bite.
"There, Bilbo. You are in a much better state than before." Gandalf assured, cleaning out the burnt Old Tobey from his pipe. The hobbit nodded with a cheery grin.
"Yes. I think I just need to take a little walk and get away from all of that commotion. Now, I am relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to contribute to this quest" He agreed. The content mood slowly dissolved as he approached the campsite. The dwarves were all packed up and began to move again. He wondered, would they have continued without the hobbit and wizard? Leaving them to fend for themselves stranded in the woods? Did they even notice the two were gone? The members rode past the hobbit, the only one to greet him back was Bofur.
"You all seem to be in such a rush just to be going the wrong way." Gandalf inquired as he looked to the direction he thought the map called for. He stood still while the company went by below him
"We have an unforeseen detour to take first." Thorin gruffed as he rode past the wizard.
"'Unforeseen?'" Bilbo asked, but the king did not answer.
"We have to stop by Shail's campsite to gather supplies." Balin explained riding away from the halfling. Bilbo stammered and was left in his tracks with no answers. The hobbit turned around in confusion and called out to anyone listening ahead of him.
"Whose Shail?" He yelled out.
"Keep yer voice down, you'll get us killed! Ya tryna let the wolves know that suppers' soon?" Shail warned as she rode past. The hobbit was damned. A lady dwarf. He was shocked by the vision in front of him. She did look the part as he had imagined but never thought he would ever witness one in his life. Shail cracked a knot on each side of her neck then spit on the ground. She was a dwarf alright.
"...Is she riding Mrytle?"
12 notes · View notes
dieplz · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?
12 notes · View notes
elfghost · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
it’s the silly little guys :(( <333
17 notes · View notes
bilbosversion · 3 months
Text
but it would’ve been fun / if you would’ve been the one
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the 1 — taylor swift
251 notes · View notes
dryadalisliv · 11 months
Text
One thing that, without fail, makes me giggle and swing my feet like a happy little school girl, is when fics about a non-canon ship backs it up using only canon occurrences… like yes! Show everyone that this is bullshit! that this IS, IN FACT, canon! Literally get a grip, I can’t handle it
670 notes · View notes
hueysanxiety · 4 months
Text
My mom: “did something happen?? You look really happy!!”
Literally my brain:
Tumblr media
50 notes · View notes
stevviefox · 2 months
Text
Rites, Writings and Ris
Chapter 409: Drawings, a Deluge, and a Very Bad Dog.
Welcome back, friends, to a new episode here at Dwarf Telenovela Central. It’s still Ori and Dwalin’s anniversary holiday in the Iron Hills, which means things are about to go over the edge and around the bend! Please join us again next Friday for more excitement! Same dwarrow time, same dwarrow tunnel! Keep those cards and letters coming, friends!
3 notes · View notes
fateshurly · 1 year
Text
Balin: thorin isn't answering my calls.
Bilbo: I'll call him
Balin: the rest of us have tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Thorin, materializing behind bilbo: yes?
143 notes · View notes