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bejeweledblondie · 7 months

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Johnny “Soap” MacTavish Headcannons

A/N: I’m very happy y’all are enjoying these!

Warnings NSFW

• Y’all met while you were on a study abroad program

• You had been returning from a night class & decided to go to the local pub for a pint & some food

• It was another soldier that pointed you out initially but he caught your eye

• “Oi, what’s a wee lass like yourself doin’ all alone in the corner?” (It definitely didn’t come out THAT clearly)

• it took you a minute to process what the hell he had said since his Scottish accent is so thick

• You spent hours chatting in that bar, about your home life, studies, etc. Johnny was limited in what he could tell you about his profession

• The two of you exchanged numbers & on your first date he took you to the Scottish countryside

• The view took your breath away, & he explained the history of his homeland to you (he’s very patriotic)

• You’d FaceTime, call, text etc. once you had to return to your home country

• He was so proud to see you graduate (he knew how hard you worked towards obtaining your college degree)

• He told you he couldn’t go to your graduation due to work (it was a lie)

• He planned out a whole secret proposal with your parents over FaceTime

• imagine your surprise when you saw him after the ceremony

• He proposed in private in your childhood house’s backyard

• You initially got married in the states to be able to live with him due to his military service & start receiving housing

• Y’all had a ceremony & reception at a castle in the Scottish countryside complete with a hand tying ceremony

• Yes, you had a bagpiper at the wedding

• He wore a kilt (are we even surprised?)

• Your garter had his last name on it & was in tartan plaid that matched his kilt (yes you had a garter toss & he was in shock when he saw the garter)

• Y’all got a gorgeous little cottage by the sea & ofc a sheep dog to go with it

• He 100% would be hosting for football matches

• And if you’re American y’all would definitely host a Super Bowl watch party

• I feel like he’d love reality tv (especially 90 Day Fiancé & the Kardashians)

• He has commentary too for every scene

• “what a fooking idiot.”

• His favorite Kardashian is Kris Jenner

• Since he can barley keep his hands off of you, he knocks you up only a month after your wedding

• Since he was deployed you mailed him ultrasound photos of the bean

• For a man who is incredibly intelligent it didn’t click that you send multiple photos of the same ultrasound

• He thought he was having quints at first & nearly had a stroke

• “You’re having five of ‘em?!” “No that’s the same fetus just different photos”

• He kept the ultra sound photos in his plate carrier

• Tactical baby gear is a must (also it’s a real company which is awesome)

• Hear me out little baby kilt, Simon gifted it to y’all

• You nearly cried when you opened the gift d

• Simon is 100% the godfather of your baby, if you trust him with Johnny’s life you can ensure if anything happened your baby would be taken care of

• Johnny was lucky that he was able to be there the entire time you were in labor

• He almost fainted when he saw the epidural (I don’t blame him)

• You guys had a little boy

• Unfortunately while you were in recovery he got called back into work for a mission

• Before he left he held your son just incase it was his last time holding him

• You sobbed when he left & one of the nurses had to console you

• Thankfully it was just a hostage rescue so he was back within a few days & ready to help out with the baby

• He carried your son around in one of those baby carriers that your strap to your chest

• Your baby boy is so giggly just like his daddy

• He will constantly be making his son laugh with silly faces, hand motions, anything

• Whenever the boys come over to watch a match your son will be passed around like a hot potato one moment he’ll be sitting with Price then next Simon has him

• As your son gets older he gets interested in what his daddy does, & he’s infatuated with being a soldier

• He’ll play pretend soldier with Soap all the time

• You’re constantly picking up Nerf darts

• When Soap is away on a mission, your son will crawl into bed with you because he misses his daddy

• He draws photos of him & the Task Force to send to overseas

• I also feel like y’all’s son would be incredibly helpful around the home especially when you’re expecting baby No. 2 & after baby No. 2 is born

• Baby No.2 is a little girl

• He’s definitely very protective over his little girl

• “She’s just as beautiful as you, Bonnie”

• Y’all’s son would also enlist or commission to the British Military but I think he’d actually be a King’s Guard for a bit

• And I feel like your daughter would be incredibly creative, she’d use those talents to be an artist

• I do believe Soap is a die hard family man & that’s one of the many reasons why you fell in love with him

✨NSFW✨

• He’s definitely a cheeky bastard & will not hesitate to smack, grab, or make comments in public about you

• He’s 100% dominant in the bedroom & loves to be called “daddy”, or even “Johnny”

• He fucked you right before y’all walked into your wedding reception, perks of wearing a kilt

• This man loves your legs & especially your thighs

• He loves to watch you squirm when his hand trails your legs all the way leading up to your pussy

• He’s not quite during sex whatsoever, he’ll full on groan, moan & tell you good you feel

• He’s a sucker for flexibility

�� You take up yoga to improve your flexibility

• I definitely believe y’all wouldn’t even make it through the front door when he comes home

•He’d either fuck you on the hood of the car or the damn back seat in the parking lot

• He loves it when you wear his old PT shorts & no panties easy access

• He definitely loves you & your body & would know how to take care of you

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theostrophywife · 7 months

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kiss with a fist | chapter four.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: bohemian rhapsody by queen.

author's note: i'm warning ya'll now this one is sugary sweet. i'm basically finished writing all the chapters, so i'll be pushing these out more often. as always, i hope everyone enjoys my mans.

The west wing of the castle was eerily quiet as you led Theo through the corridors. The spiral staircase leading up to Ravenclaw Tower snaked all the way up to the fifth floor, which was proving to be a feat to climb in the dark given that you weren’t able to cast lumos without being discovered. It didn’t help that a slightly inebriated Theo kept trudging on your toes during your ascent.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” you hissed under your breath before grabbing hold of Theo’s hand. Even in the dark, you could tell that the insufferable twat was smirking. “Not a word, Nott. I either hold your hand like a toddler or keep suffering in silence as you stomp on my toes with your giant feet.”

“You know what they say about giant feet,” Theo whispered behind you. Moonlight streamed through the skylight, perfectly illuminating your scowl. His grin grew wider as he squeezed your hand. “Giant shoes. What did you think I was going to say, Y/N?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t say anything.”

Theo gave you a mocking salute as he quietly followed you up the stairs. You tried not to focus on the warmth of his hand or the way his fingers twined tightly around yours. You especially tried not to dwell on the strange but not entirely unpleasant sensation of Theo’s thumb rubbing soothing circles across your knuckles.

When you reached the fourth floor, Theo made no move to release your hand as you walked up to the wooden door. It had no knob or keyhole, but a knocker in the shape of an eagle. Identical to the common room entrance, which was a floor above. But you had no plans on smuggling a Slytherin into the eagle’s nest.

Instead, you gently rapped on the knocker. The bronze eagle blinked back at you. Theo nearly fell over in surprise as it rasped out a question.

“What breaks and never falls, and what falls and never breaks?”

“Day breaks and night falls,” you answered.

The knocker nodded, appearing pleased before the door swung open. Theo chuckled softly. “Of course you Ravenclaws would require a riddle for entrance. Godric forbid you use something as simple as a password.”

“Passwords are easily guessed, riddles are not.” You tugged him into the dimly lit hallway and gave him a sharp look. “Don’t get any ideas of sneaking in, either. The riddle changes every day and the eagle is prone to clawing intruders.”

Theo shivered. “And yet everyone thinks that we Slytherins are the sadistic ones.”

You smiled in satisfaction as the two of you walked further into the fourth floor. Theo trailed along after you, more than happy to let you take the lead for once. He stopped short when you opened the door to the music room. Starlight flooded in through the stained glass windows, drawing silver prisms across the crushed velvet couches, ornate persian rugs, and tiered choral risers. Instruments of every kind were organized into neat rows—harps, cellos, lutes, violins, and even a set of bagpipes.

But you weren’t interested in any of them.

In the center of the room sat a baby grand piano. Theo watched curiously as you sat on the bench and carefully lifted the mahogany top.

“I didn’t even know we had a music room,” he remarked as he slid in beside you.

“That’s not surprising at all.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “So this is how you relax?”

You nodded, resting your fingers on the ivory keys. “Like I said, I’m not really the type of person who can just turn their mind off so I have to occupy myself with something else. With music, I can focus on the chords and scales and patterns and eventually I sort of just get lost in the melody.”

“Play something for me, then.”

You nodded and started playing a familiar piece. The music flowed through you like honey, each chord and note so vivid in your mind that you could practically imagine the sheet music floating before you.

When you first came to Hogwarts, you spent countless hours in this room. Every time you felt overwhelmed by the wizarding world, you channeled your frustrations and fears into this piano. You found that music was a universal language that was understood by both the magical and muggleborn.

As you played, you felt the classics pour out of you. Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy. They were pieces that you learned from your father. You could almost picture it now, sitting in your sunny London flat and playing the piano together while your mother watched and listened.

The melancholic melody of Swan Lake filled the room. It was the first piece you ever mastered when you begged your father to teach it to you after coming home from the ballet. A wave of nostalgia crashed into you as you closed your eyes and let yourself become one with the music.

Each movement was fluid, the muscle memory embedded into you while your fingers flew over the keys. The piece built to its crescendo and it felt bittersweet as you delivered the final note. You had all but forgotten about Theo until you opened your eyes again.

“Only you would find the morbidity of Swan Lake relaxing,” he said with a small smile.

You quirked a brow. “You know Tchaikovsky?”

“Of course. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a total degenerate.”

“But he’s a muggle.”

“I’ll have you know that I received an Outstanding in my O.W.L. for Muggle Studies.”

You gaped. “I didn’t even know you were taking Muggle Studies.”

“Advanced Muggle Studies,” he corrected. “As much as I love a depressing classic, I think you’ll find this piece a bit more modern.”

Theo scooted over and began playing a vaguely familiar intro. You strained to place the music and watched with complete bewilderment as he continued to play with a grin.

Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me.

The realization set in just as Theo nudged you to play the next part with him. The ballad came naturally to you after having heard the song so many times.

Mama, just killed a man.

Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead.

Mama, life had just begun.

The two of you barrelled through the guitar solo and weaved through the operatic section. Your fingers were cramped by the time you hit the hard rock portion of the song. You hadn’t even noticed that you were singing along until you heard Theo laugh in delight beside you. Thank Rowena for the soundproof walls.

You turned over, and sang the lyrics right at him. So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

Theo delivered the next line with equal fervor. So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

The two of you looked at each other and serenaded one another rather aggressively. Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby.

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Both of you were in stitches when you finally reached the outro. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed so hard.

“We did not just perform a godsawful rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Speak for yourself. My vocals would’ve brought Freddie Mercury to tears.” He touched his heart, looking solemn. “Godric rest his soul. The man was a proper genius.”

“I would not have pegged you as a Queen fan.”

“You can peg me no matter whose fan I am, darling.”

The snort came out of you before you had a chance to reign it in. Theo’s eyes widened in surprise as you covered your mouth in utter mortification. It had taken you years to control your snort, but sometimes it just slipped out.

“Did you just—”

“Speak of it ever again and I’ll maim you, Theodore.”

He raised his hands. “I’m not mocking you, I swear. I’ve just never heard you laugh like that.”

“Yeah, well, I suppose all this faffing around has unearthed my shameful secret.” You tried and failed to conceal your smile. “Consider it a compliment. No one’s heard my snorting in years.”

“Maybe they should. It’s quite charming, you know.”

You chuckled again, not bothering to hide your snorts.

Theo grinned. “On second thought, I think I’d like to keep that laugh all to myself.”

The flush that crept onto your cheeks was entirely involuntary. You stretched your legs underneath you and bumped your knee against his. “Congratulations, Nott. You’ve somehow managed to accomplish the impossible. I actually feel relaxed for once in my life.”

“Relaxed enough for a midnight snack?”

You shook your head. “No way. I’m not sneaking into the kitchens again. I barely escaped Winky’s notice when I nicked your muffin last time.”

“Who said anything about the kitchens? I have my own stash of snacks back in the dungeons. How do you feel about gelato?”

“I’ve never had it,” you admitted.

Theo looked properly affronted. “As an Italian, I take that as a personal offense.”

“Isn’t it the same thing as ice cream?”

“The same as—that’s honestly the most inconsiderate thing you’ve ever said to me.” He rubbed his temples. “This is no longer a matter of choice now. The reputation of my people is on the line until you’ve tasted stracciatella.”

Your mouth quirked. “Got any mint chocolate?”

As you expected, he flung his hands around as though you’d just asked for feet flavored gelato. “Che palle! This is more dire than I thought. Mint chocolate? You might as well squeeze toothpaste on a chocolate frog and call it a day.”

Theo ranted as he led you out of the music room. You couldn’t help but giggle at the genuine distress in his expression. You made it all the way to the first floor of the tower before he stopped grumbling under his breath.

“Well, gelato aficionado, I hope you have a plan because Filch is probably making his rounds as we speak.”

He only smirked in response. “I may know a shortcut.”

You followed after Theo as he approached a portrait on the far end of the west wing. He produced the grimoire from his pocket and shuffled through the worn leather pages before he found the correct page. With a flick of his wand, Theo chanted something in Italian. The portrait, a young woman with dark hair and a mischievous grin, appraised the two of you. As her gaze flickered over you, the familiarity of those watercolor eyes struck you like lightning.

“Fai scelte intelligenti, cugino.”

With that, the portrait swung open into some sort of secret tunnel. Theo’s lips twitched as he gestured for you to step through the threshold. As the portrait swung close, you heard the young woman sigh dreamily.

“La storia si ripete.”

While your understanding of Italian was rudimentary at best, you were fairly certain that she’d said something about history repeating itself. Theo reached for your hand in the dark and you took it without question. You were deep within the secret passage before you even realized it.

“Family of yours?”

“How’d you guess?”

“You have the same eyes,” you observed. “Plus, she called you cousin.”

He seemed mildly amused by the comment. “Been brushing up on your Italian?”

“Only enough to make sure you’re not insulting me.”

Theo chuckled. “Fair enough. To answer your question, yes. The portrait is of Coletta, my second cousin thrice removed. She attended Hogwarts centuries ago. She was a Ravenclaw as well.”

“Why is that name so familiar?”

“She invented the enchantment for the moving portraits. Of course her first subject was herself.”

“So narcissism and vanity is an inherited trait, then?”

Theo smirked. “Darling, when you’re as pretty as we are, then immortalizing that beauty for future generations to behold becomes a high priority.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that you were becoming too humble."

“Let’s just say that dear old Coletta won’t be the only one in my bloodline to be featured on a chocolate frog card.”

“I doubt that being the world’s most massive wanker constitutes the commissioning of a card.”

He rolled his eyes as you rounded a corner. Theo kept you behind him as he pushed on a depression in the walls. It gave way, swinging open to an empty hallway.

“Speaking of massive wankers, welcome to the Slytherin dormitories.”

You smirked and nodded to the giant serpent statue at the end of the hallway. “Is that a basilisk or are you just happy to see me?”

“My poor little Ravenclaw. I’m afraid I’ve corrupted you past the point of no return.”

“Please,” you tutted, strutting through the maze of the dungeon dormitories like you owned the place. “I was depraved way before I ever met you.”

Theo chuckled under his breath as he led you further into the heart of the viper’s nest. Through the windows, you could see the dark waves of the Black Lake ripple as you walked through. It was oddly beautiful, in a morbid sort of way.

“Here we are,” Theo said as you came to a stop at the end of the hall. “Home sweet home.”

Before you entered, he muttered a series of privacy and protection spells that you’ve never even heard of. Magic weaved through the door and sizzled with evergreen sparks before it finally swung open.

“Paranoid much?”

“You have no idea. You Ravenclaws may have your riddles, but learning how to hex your door from nosy snooping twats is a right of passage for every Slytherin.”

You peered through the threshold, suddenly feeling nervous. In the past year doing whatever it was you and Theo were doing, it had become a sort of unspoken rule to have sex anywhere but your dorms. For one, it was too much of a hassle to sneak each other in, but if you were being honest, the main reason why you've never even attempted was because seeing someone else’s room was strangely intimate. You tried not to think about how easily Theo invited you into his space as you ducked through the door.

A mixture of envy and jealousy hit you full force when you walked into his dorm. It was a massive room with a four poster bed, luxurious velvet curtains, and a stained glass skylight. There was a mahogany desk littered with ancient tomes, cracked parchment, and half empty ink pots. The latest Nimbus model was propped up next to his nightstand with a green and silver scarf tied around its hilt. Leave it to Theo to use the expensive broom as a glorified hanger.

You made your way through the elegantly decorated room and noted that it was far tidier than you would’ve expected. Theo was content to hang back and watch as you looked through his baubles. A picture on his nightstand caught your eye. Mostly because it wasn’t like the moving portraits you were so used to seeing in the wizarding world. This was a still likeness, a polaroid of a beautiful dark haired woman with little Theo. He was wearing a Cambridge jumper three sizes too big and showing off his two missing front teeth with a cheeky grin.

The image tugged at your heart. “Is this your mum?”

Theo nodded. “Yeah, that was the first time she took me with her to Cambridge.”

“And there’s the infamous jumper you begged her to buy, huh?”

“The one and only.”

You kept staring at the photo, noting how happy little Theo looked. It made you think back on that day at the lab when you watched him slip on his smirk like a mask. Like armor. You wondered if you’d ever see his unguarded smile, full of childlike wonder and joy, just like in the picture. You wondered why you even wanted to.

“She was very beautiful,” you finally said, setting down the polaroid.

“She was,” Theo wistfully agreed. “Clearly I inherited her good looks.”

Rolling your eyes fondly, you continued surveying his room. For some reason, you found it fascinating. You nearly squealed in delight when you came across the towers of books he had lined up against the wall.

“Go ahead,” Theo said with a chuckle. “I know you’re dying to snoop, diavolina.”

He couldn’t have been more right. You loved going through people’s bookshelves. You could tell a lot about a person based on their books. In Theo’s case, his reads were nearly as chaotic and surprising as he was.

As expected, there were a few books on quidditch, a rare potions tome that you were fairly certain cost a small fortune, a selection of mystery novels, all magical save for a lone leatherbound book on the top shelf. You carefully cracked it open and found yourself reading through the Divine Comedy.

“Dante’s Inferno,” you said in surprise. “How terribly morbid of you.”

“How so?” He asked, reading over your shoulder. “Alighieri composed it as a comedy rather than a tragedy. It does have somewhat of a happy ending.”

“I suppose, but the poem was mainly a raw commentary on the savage nature of human existence and delved into the ugliness of it all, from the banal to the depraved. The eternal torture chamber was a meditation on evil. Even purgatory explored the flaws of human nature and the fallen state society often finds itself in.”

Theo took the book from your hands and flipped to the last section. “Yes, but Paradiso was all about goodness. It explores transcendence, redemption, and virtue.” He smiled softly. “I know the concept of paradise might be a bit naive, but isn’t there a concept of heaven that we all hold onto to prevent ourselves from despairing? When you’re trudging through shit, you’ve got to hope that you’re clawing for something better on the other side.”

You were silent for a moment. “What does Paradise look like for you, Nott?”

Theo smirked. “You’ll have to get me higher than this to answer that question, dolcezza.”

“Fair enough. Now educate me on gelato like you promised.”

A few minutes later, the two of you sat cross legged on his rug while indulging in decadent scoops of stracciatella. The creaminess of the gelato was perfectly complemented by delicious flakes of dark chocolate. The sounds you made while eating were borderline sexual.

“If I had known it was this easy to make you moan, I would’ve introduced you to gelato ages ago.”

You lightly kicked him in the shin. “I still can’t believe you enchanted a mini fridge to hold your fancy imported dessert.”

It was actually quite impressive. You hadn’t even thought of doing that yourself and you were the muggleborn one.

“Perks of acing advanced muggle studies.”

“Having a Gringott’s vault at your disposal helps as well.”

“Smart, rich, and handsome. I’m just an all around catch, aren’t I?”

“Someday you’ll make some poor unsuspecting witch very, very miserable.”

“Someday?” Theo asked, the corner of his mouth curving into a mischievous smile. “Why wait? I’m perfectly capable of making you miserable now.”

With that, he took a dollop of his gelato and smushed it against the tip of your nose.

You gasped in surprise, squealing at how cold and sticky it felt against your skin. “You’re a dead man, Nott.”

Theo bolted to the other side of his dorm and you followed, trying to fling scoops of gelato at him. He giggled like a child as he dodged your attacks but there was only so much space for him to evade you. Finally, he gripped your wrists to keep you from retaliating.

“Here, let me clean you up.”

As you squirmed in his grasp, Theo leaned over and licked the tip of your nose. You squealed in disgust as he lapped up every bit of gelato. Theo sneakily took your cup from you and set them aside before leaning back to admire his work. From this close, you could see the gold flecks in his eyes. They darkened as you glanced up at him, his blue green gaze turning stormy.

“What?” you asked, brushing at your face. “Is my face all sticky and gross?”

Theo shook his head. “No—you look fine—more than fine you’re—“ He paused, stumbling for words. “Can I kiss you?”

The question suddenly made you feel nervous, which was ridiculous given the fact that you’d kissed Theo countless times before, but there was something about the way he looked at you now that felt…different.

“You’ve never asked before.”

Theo frowned. “Maybe I should have.” He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “Gods, you’re right. I can be a real wanker sometimes.”

You smiled. “To be fair, I kissed you first. Mostly to shut you up, but still. I’ve never asked either.”

He swallowed thickly as he ran his fingers through your braid. “Well, can I?”

A knot formed in your stomach as you nodded. This was ridiculous. There was no need to be nervous. You repeated those words over and over again to yourself as Theo caressed your cheek, his gaze flickering over your face as though he was searching for that final missing piece of the puzzle. Then, gently, as gently as he ever had, Theo leaned in and kissed you.

He tasted like cigarettes and mint, like dark chocolate and cream, like stracciatella and sin.

But most of all, Theodore Nott tasted like your own personal unraveling.

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