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#banana fish meta
reply1990-98 · 6 months
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Eiji was the only one who made Ash look like the kid and teen he should’ve been without all the madness. And in the strangest way, Ash brought out the spark Eiji lost back in Japan.
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sayaka19fan · 1 year
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Marvin's line 🍌🐠
Some time ago, @blak-rabbit drew my attention to the differences between the first and second English translation of the manga, so I decided to share one of the points we have discussed.
Back when Viz's Pulp Manga Magazine was funtional Yuji Oniki was the translator for Banana Fish (up to volume 7). After 2004 Matt Thorn and Carl Gustav Horn took over the job and they did the translation once again from the beginning.
A comparison of one frame from volume 1 will show that both the translations and the anime adaptation might have aimed to make the characters queer, bending the original text to this narrative.
In the original scene, Gregory has just scolded Marvin for failing to behave like an adult in front of a boy, that is, for being easily provoked by Ash when Marvin says:
いいや... ガキだからってかんべんからねえ...
"No... Just because he's a brat doesn't mean it's excusable...
ちくしょう
Damn it!
ヤロウいつも人をコケにしやがって!
You jerk are always making a fool out of me!
いつかあいつの細っこい首 ねじ折ってやる.
Someday I'm gonna break that thin little neck of his."
(Translation is mine)
Now, let's give a look at the translations.
Yuji Oniki's translation (left to right):
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Between the two I prefer this one, though it isn't without flaws:
1. "With my bare hands" Is just a pointless addiction.
2. It's true that Marvin says "people"「人」 there, but before that sentence there are two swear words that are omitted: "chikushou" and "yarou", Marvin isn't explaining something to Gregory, he is angry at being taken lightly by Ash, even though he says "people", he's talking about himself.
Now, let's see Matt Thorn and Carl Gustav Horn's translation (right to left):
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Let's open another can of worms!
1. Yarou / ヤロウ / 野郎 is a typical shounen manga swear to address male characters, it cannot be read as an equivalent of "effeminate" or the likes. How it seems to have become a "queer"'s neck?
2. Hosokkoi/ 細っこい isn't just a descriptive term. Ash's neck being thin means that it is delicate and beautiful, not just weak. Even in his anger Marvin can't help appreciating Ash's beauty, so it makes no sense for the translator to add the word "worthless". Why? Why?
3. As this translation erases the part about Marvin being ridiculed by Ash's behaviour, the readers don't get how personal this is to Marvin. Here it seems that Marvin just generally dislikes how Ash plays innocent like a kid. This is not what Ash has done in that scene. Ash was looking down on Marvin, talking to him as if he was his master's son. "Good job giving me a lift here, no need to accompany me back" is how you speak to your employees. Ash was reminding Marvin that now he is above him.
Finally, let's look at the anime:
このガキ ちくしょう!
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This would actually translate into "That brat, damn it!"
Like in many other occasions the script is shortened, and it is usually flavourless when they are not Ash's or Eiji’s lines.
The animators decided to make Marvin swear. They kept "chikushou" and "gaki"(kid/brat) but got rid of "yarou". In the manga Marvin calls Ash "brat" as a reaction to Gregory's words, but since Gregory and the other bodyguard aren't in the anime scene this line sounds weird there. The point in Marvin's line was that they shouldn't treat him like a kid, because Ash is actually a "yarou" (bastard/ jerk). Talking to himself, Marvin wouldn't ever call Ash a brat with a dismissive tone, this wouldn't convey his anger well. Plus, erasing "yarou", the animators avoided defining Ash as "male".
Thanks to NegtvaNetie_1935 for his inputs as well!
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kamuysaurus · 1 year
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I might expand on this later, but for now, short thoughts; it's easy to write off the gratuitous sexual violence in BANANA FISH especially to Ash as, as some have put it, "trashy BL standard", but I think that's an... insincere take. Considering how much of the abuse/violence takes place off screen, with the audience seeing either the start or the aftermath, and it's treated as a horrible, brutal, evil thing to occur, it's not very in line with other BL of the Era. In "trashy BL", and I've read dozens of them in my years of reading manga, sexual violence is either an on-screen plot device or a kink or a prerequisite to the relationship; in other words, it's romanticized or brushed off as "not important" or "not serious." If BANANA FISH was actually a trashy BL, Ash would have ended up with Dino.
Rather, I think the amount of it Ash (and as his parallel, Yut Lung) endures is more meant to reflect a certain reality; in my experience, at least, people are rarely victimized once, and certain demographics are more likely to be victimized more often. Additionally, I think they represent the various ways different institutions, both individual and societal, can weaponize or benefit from sexual abuse; the military (Foxx, Ash's coach are both ex-military), teachers/people who work with children (Ash's baseball coach victimized multiple children by positioning himself in proximity to them), families/parents (Ash's father encourages him to "ask to be paid" when the sexual abuse from the coach continues, which is neglect at best and is aiding in child prostitution at worst, Yut Lung is sexually abused by his brothers), the wealthy/politicians (Yut Lung's brother(s) are politicians with access to generational wealth, Dino is wealthy, the patrons at Club Cod are all wealthy if not all politicians), and the police (many of them fail Ash at multiple points, including forcing him to watch his own abuse on DVD or a mental health correctional officer attempting to sleep with him)
Not to mention how race, class, and gender conformity or lack there of plays a role.
BANANA FISH is absolutely not free from criticism and it certainly isn't everyone's cup of tea. It is far from a perfect story. But that's a post for another day. What I will say though is, if you're going to make a scathing remark or dismiss a narrative for its messages, you actually have to engage with the text itself and what it's actually presenting, and how that slots in with stories within its genre, its Era of publication, what it markets itself as (notably, that BANANA FISH wasn't written as a BL, moreso a shoujo crime-thriller, though it was inspired by and did inspire/influence the BL genre.)
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chaoslynx · 1 year
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Hey my fave author! I've no idea if I can make a request of any sort... If not for a fic, id want to hear your thoughts on that meta Ash having HIV. (Sorry I lost the link, would be grateful to any clues) It could not be diagnosed in a manga timeline, though Ash could be smart enough to figure something is not right.
But I keep imagining (no matter the timeline) Ash carrying this horrifying thing and possibly infecting Eiji on accident. Eiji would never ever blame him, right? If I may have a request of your beautiful writing, may you write Ash confessing he may have infect Eiji, and Eiji staying on his side?
Anyone can feel free to add on to this with info about the headcanon of Ash having HIV/AIDS if they'd like, or if anyone can find the meta post that anon is talking about, please feel free to add that as well.
In the manga version of the scene in the prison infirmary, where the doctor gives Ash an antibiotic shot, in the manga version the doctor comments that he can't do anything if Ash has been infected in HIV. Keep in mind that the manga takes place in 1985, which is in the middle of the AIDS crisis and before HIV testing was standardized. (The first commercial HIV antibody test, ELISA, was developed actually IN early 1985, but was horribly inaccurate and was mainly used to test the United States blood supply rather than individuals. Better testing wasn't developed until 1987, which would have been around the time of Ash's death in the manga timeline. For those who want to learn more, check hiv.gov and other sources!)
Anyway, yeah. We're talking 1985, the middle of the AIDS crisis, in New York City, one of the main hotspots. Most (notably not all) of Ash's abusers were men. HIV/AIDS also usually doesn't show symptoms until about a year after you contract it, so if Ash was infected in the prison or earlier, it might make sense for him to not start showing symptoms until later in the series. And if we cut to about a year later on the timeline?
When they're living in the apartment together and Ash has trouble waking up, Eiji makes a joke about him having low blood pressure. There are times when Ash's memory fails him, despite him obviously being extremely intelligent and having a brilliant "book smart" memory normally. For example, he forgets that he ate some of his own salad earlier, before he fell back asleep. That could just be due to how tired he was, but there's also the time when he panics about Eiji leaving the apartment ... despite the fact that he asked Eiji to come meet him there at that time.
And, perhaps most tellingly, Ash has trouble gaining weight throughout the entire series, commenting at one point that he grew two inches but hadn't gained a pound. He stop seating entirely when he's under Dino's custody, and says at multiple points that he's not doing it intentionally. He starts eating again once he's back with Eiji, but it would make sense for the stress of being with Dino to exasperate his symptoms. He also has trouble walking or even standing, which could be from the lack of nutrition, or could also be related to HIV symptoms. Now, Ash is also diagnosed with "acute" (meaning temporary, but I disagree) anorexia during the time he spends back in Dino's custody, but comorbidity (the existence of multiple illnesses/disorders that play into each other) is a thing too.
Also, like ... Ash is smart. If he had it, he probably knew, or at least had his suspicions. It carried such a heavy stigma at the time, and Ash is fairly private with all aspects of his personal life to everyone. So it would make sense for him to never tell anyone or mention it, and it might even make sense for him to choose his death on his own terms instead of waiting around for the illness to kill him.
Fic maybe incoming in the next couple days; hope this bit of analysis works for now!
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literallyanyname · 8 months
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So I've seen a lot of people group Banana Fish and SK8 The Infinity together and I both do and don't see the similarities. Sk8 has much, much lighter, happier vibes. (Also, it's weird to watch Sk8 after BF when Sk8 treats some relatively minor issues like life or death and BF's issues are ACTUALLY life and death.) Sk8 also has a more rounded, developed side cast. BFish really only gives solid character development to Ash, Eiji, and Shorter (in that order). However, both shows come off as very realistic.
Also, I don't get the same feeling from Ash and Eiji as I do from Reki and Langa. Asheiji share a really raw emotional intimacy. They're in a series of horrible situations, and they cling to each other to cope with that. Also, it seems like there's a LOT more romantic subtext. They share a room (and it is implied that they later share a bed), regularly make declarations of love to each other without actually saying it, and then there's the really obvious nod to the audience with the love charm Eiji's sister gave him.
Reki and Langa honestly come off as just bros doing bro stuff. It's just a very close friendship to me. (But also they're both in safer, healthier situations). They don't need to cling to each other. Also, Sk8 actually treats them like teenage kids, and BFish does not.
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sighed-the-snake · 2 months
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Crack theory.
Banana fish gorilla shoelace with a dash of nutmeg.
Excerpts from the book, too lazy for page numbers
Banana = Warlock.
When Warlock was ten he liked baseball; he liked plastic toys that transformed into other plastic toys indistinguishable from the first set of plastic toys except to the trained eye; he liked his stamp collection; he liked banana-flavor bubble gum; he liked comics and cartoons and his B.M.X. bike.
Fish = Greasy Johnson.
But Greasy Johnson had never found a sport that suited him. He was instead secretly devoted to his collection of tropical fish, which won him prizes. Greasy Johnson was the same age as Adam Young, to within a few hours, and his parents had never told him he was adopted. See? You were right about the babies.
Gorilla = Second Coming.
“Whole sea bubbling, poor old dolphins so much seafood gumbo, no one giving a damn. Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days? And then—”
Shoelace = Adam.
Adam brightened. “Oh, tomorrow’ll be all right,” he pronounced. “They’ll have forgotten about it by then. You’ll see. They always do.” He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellissed Elba. “You all go,” he told them, with a brief, hollow laugh. “Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be all right. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
and
And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. . . . . . . forever.
Nutmeg = The events at Sodom and Gomorrah.
“Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,” said Crowley sourly. “Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?” “Sure,” said the demon. “There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass—” “I meant afterwards.” “Oh.”
Aren't these things mentioned plenty of other times in the book?
Sort of.
Lots of mentions of fish, but only one connected to a character.**
A few interesting mentions of bananas, but again, only one personally attributed to a character.
But the only two mentions of shoelaces belong to Adam.
The sole mention of Nutmeg is associated with large swaths of humans getting murdered by Heaven.
Gorillas are only mentioned when Crowley and Aziraphale were discussing the end of the world.
(** There is one other character associated with fish, and that's Greaser, one of the bikers. He has FISH and CHIP tattooed across his knuckles. Greaser. Greasy Johnson. Both greasy and fishy. I'd say it still fits. Maybe Greaser is foreshadowing of Greasy Johnson's future as a bully; that's for another meta.)
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Don't know. Maybe it foreshadows the events of S3, that the three boys are going to be heavily involved in the oncoming disaster, and (due to the phrase's connection to deception/magic tricks) they are going to pull a fast one on Heaven and Hell that no one expects.
Maybe the story begins with Warlock and Greasy, then the Second Coming business heats up, and Adam doesn't get involved until the end, when the world needs defending. After all, Adam has done this before.
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lauranalanthalasa · 7 months
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So, after reading the banana fish theory by @doctorscienceknowsfandom I rewatched the ending of episode 6 as one does.
Here's something I might have found.
It has been discussed that Aziraphale (or shall I say, an entity outwardly presenting as Aziraphale) mouthes something under his breath before settling on I forgive you.
Until shortly I was inclined to belive it was a stifled I love you, because 1. it warms my shipping heart and 2. I'm quite sure I hear an exhaled f-sound.
After taking into account the above mentioned mutual possession shenanigans, I'd like to moot another idea:
Assuming our Aziraphale-presenting entity (A-p E) now contains Crowley's essence and incorporating the expectant look of the Crowley-presenting entity (C-p E, which, for this to work out, now contains Aziraphale's essence) as well as the short sideways glance out of the window by A-p E directly after their kiss broke apart, I belive A-p E mouthed leave! to indicate that he (at least somehow) understands what's up and especially to tell C-p E / Aziraphale that it's okay and he should leave the bookshop to keep up appearances and not draw attention to anything being off-key to the Metatron.
What do you all think? I'd love to hear everyone's take on this!
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http-eiji · 1 year
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favourite banana fish moment? idk if anyones asked u this yet, im just curious
I have been asked this before, but favourites change all the time.
I'm not sure if I would call it my favourite, but a moment that has been on my mind lately is the scene where Yut Lung tells Ash that if he shoots himself, he won't lay a finger on Eiji again. This was, of course, followed by Ash immediately pulling the trigger on himself.
It's an important scene because it shows how Ash puts Eiji above himself. Eiji's safety is his priority. There's little care for his own safety or even acknowledgement that Eiji would want Ash to live. It shows exactly where Ash is mentally and his willingness to die for him.
The scene popped up on twitter recently, hence why it's at the forefront of my mind. There are so many moments I love, and for so many different reasons.
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walkingbushy · 1 year
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i finally read and finished banana fish (something i put off for years) and y’know the stages of grief well i went STRAIGHT TO ANGER LOL
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drconstellation · 5 months
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Inside the Dirty Donkey
**Warning! This meta contains spoilers and speculation for S3. Do NOT tag Neil!**
Time to get comfy, folks. Get your drink of choice, be it a cupperty, coffee, or nip of sherry, and find a seat. You’ll definitely want to be sitting down for this one. We’re going to the pub!
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The name is apparently a favorite of NG’s, used in his short story “We Can Get Them For You Wholesale.” And it also appears in the Sandman AU.
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In the short story above the protagonist is a jilted lover who tries to organize an assassin for his fiancé who is having an affair with another man at their shared workplace. He meets the ‘salesman’ of the firm he contacts at a pub called the Dirty Donkey, and it escalates from there. The story is freely available online, so you can search it up if you really want to read it, it won’t take long. It mentions a pale horse, which is usually what Death rides in on, and is appropriate in the context of that story.
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The question we need to ask is how does the name The Dirty Donkey apply to the Good Omens AU? Are there any context to the name at all?
There are several meanings for a dirty donkey:
Its a slang or joke name for a black horse (not particularly a dark horse, that has a different meaning altogether)
A cocktail
A sex position (I’ll let you look that one up yourself…)
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Probably the first thing we need to talk about, though is an actual donkey itself, in relation to Jesus, as S2 is full of Jesus references and hints to the Second Coming in S3. Yep, it was all there in front of us, but we were too focused on other things. If you remember your Bible teachings, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, because he came in peace. In ancient times leaders rode horses if they went to war, or if they came in conquest. But arriving by donkey meant you came with peaceful intentions.
But Jesus didn't turn up in S2, you say. And certainly not on any hairy beast. Ah, but he did - metaphorically. Gabriel as Jim turned up - he came up the street, by (the Dirty) Donkey, walking through spilled blood tomatoes, then mentioned his arms were no longer sore (because he had been taken off the cross.) MrPeriod talks more about how Jim represents Jesus here, and it might be worth revisiting it at length another time, as there is quite a bit to unpack there.
There are also the two big golden lions perched on either end of the bar inside the pub, that look rather ominous. The lions are strongly connected to Jesus and his resurrection, representing his return. (I'm still planning to have a better look for more lions in both S1 and S2, but that is still a WIP at the moment.)
There is also the scene in 1941 where the Nazi zombies stagger into the Dirty Donkey and spy on Aziraphale and Crowley through the windows through to the book shop, but all they manage to get is “Banana, fish, gorilla, shoe lace with a dash of nutmeg.” It sounds a bit like a cocktail reference – well, the nutmeg is definitely a GO ref to a certain cocktail – but the cocktail called a Dirty Donkey has cinnamon in it, in the form of cinnamon schnapps, not nutmeg – plus chocolate liqueur and rum. So maybe not.
But perhaps the most important thing we have to examine is the conversation about Jane Austin that Aziraphale and Crowley have in the pub, in S2E2. Because its got so many levels you just about need a break for extra oxygen half way down. Ha! And you thought it was a couple of funny throw-away lines about how Aziraphale saw human romance...
OK, this is the section of dialogue we are going to look at:
AZIRAPHALE: If you're going to invoke fiction, you might as well do it properly. CROWLEY: Properly? AZIRAPHALE: You remember Jane Austen? CROWLEY: Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. What a piece of work. AZIRAPHALE: She wrote books. Novels. CROWLEY: Jane? Austen? AZIRAPHALE: Yes! CROWLEY: Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? AZIRAPHALE: Yes. They were very good. CROWLEY: Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all. You think you know someone. AZIRAPHALE: She had balls. CROWLEY: Well.... AZIRAPHALE: Cotillion balls. People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize they had misunderstood each other and were actually deeply in love.
Ready to dive into the levels on the Jane Austen conversation? Let's go...
Level 1: It’s a conversation about the novelist Jane Austen, and it sounds like they both met her, but they remember her in different ways – and Crowley’s memory is rather surprising!
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Level 2: There is a mention of a robbery. This makes the parallel with the 1967 scene in S1E3 Hard Times, where Crowley has a secret meeting in the Dirty Donkey to plan a robbery to steal holy water from a church. The robbery in the above conversation involves diamonds (are you taking note/s? This is important!) from Clerkenwell, a district of London of some notoriety. It was famous for it watchmakers and jewelers, but it was also the home of Oliver Cromwell, who has a link to the 1650 date mentioned in S2E1 and the Eccles cakes, to Charles Dickens (author of A Tale of Two Cities, a book of note for GO) Oh, and both times Crowley is wearing a "Tactical Turtleneck", which others have noted he wears when he is doing his own master spy work, such planning or discussing robberies, or sneaking into Heaven to rob them of information!
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Level 3: There is Aziraphale’s idea about how a romance should be conducted, by hosting a cotillion ball with formal dancing, because he's read all those romantic novels by Austen. And we get to see that played out in S2E5 in the eldritch ball. Crowley's idea of a romance was to get caught in the rain and kiss, then - vavoom!
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Level 4: Why mention this apparently fictional side to an author of fictional romance? Well, on one hand, it’s an interesting but dark set-up for a joke later at the beginning of S2E6. I ended up discussing it at length here, but the short of it is that it is our usual human custom not to speak ill of the dead, and this is a form of extreme black-and-white thinking. Here, Aziraphale speaks of the good/white side of Jane Austen, that is well known, but Crowley speaks of the black/supposedly forgotten or unspoken bad side of Austen.
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Level 5: Here’s the S3 information. Have you been paying attention? Did you take note? The parallels were the robberies between a church, and diamonds? That she was a brandy smuggler? Do you know where they smuggled brandy from? And do you know where Austen actually lived? On the South Downs, overlooking the Channel to France…
Whew. I think I need a drink after that. Cheers!
[Edit: I've recently finished a meta on the Bentley and how that relates to black horses, and it's occurred to me why the ethereal lift, or "hellevator," is in the entrance to the Dirty Donkey. Black horses are symbolic spirit guides between the worlds of the living and the dead, so this makes the perfect place to put the lift!]
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reply1990-98 · 1 year
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Eiji the professional photographer. Let's talk about it!
Though this might be obvious, Eiji's "journaling" is basically through photos. He seems to be the type to take in the moments, than write them down. Along the way, I think he's finding a bit of his place and new found interest in photography. I wonder about what kept Eiji going in that path even after Ash? We see him locking out Ash's photos away for a long time in Garden of Light. If he ever wrote down things still, that would be an interesting idea to take, considering they were always on the go. Probably written stuff during nights, as he looks at the photos he recently have taken.
There's probably him realizing that being an athlete may not be what he wanted in the long run, there's the injury I don't think he has gotten over with because he did took that hard and there wasn't much time to even heal from it from all the events that went down with Ash. Okay maybe he's gotten to terms with it somehow behind the scenes, since being in the USA gave his world a huge unexpected shift.
Going back, it feels like Eiji continued photography as a way to cope, to heal, but definitely with the passion along with it because even he can't even look at Ash's image for a long time. Yet the very image of him transpired a lot of things in him. But of course, I do think Eiji found his footing and desire through this art himself, his eyes always had a thing for things unseen, his eyes are dark of color yet the depth does exist in them. They always have.
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sayaka19fan · 2 years
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They weren't hours!
Look at the watch!
Many fans who have read the manga in English are familiar with this frame,
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As BANANA FISH EXPOSED explained on their site, the words used in Japanese for long hours are "nagai jikan (長い時間)" and it can be translated as "a long -subjective- time".
This alone should be enough to prove that Ash hasn't spent some hours at the library after being wounded and before dying, but I would like to point out that WE HAVE ANOTHER EVIDENCE!
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This is Ash's wristwatch before he meets Sing at the library. It's 7:30 (or 6,30), right? (The anime changed it into 11:34 although there the ticket boarding time was 18:10)
Those are the working hours at NYPL:
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It can't be 7:30 in the morning since the library is closed at that time. It must be Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon.
This means that Ash had JUST HALF AN HOUR (or 1 hour and half) to talk with Sing, going outside, being stabbed by Lao, returning to the Rose Main Reading Room on the third floor and being found dead by closing time.
Edit: The buckle end of the watch strap always attaches to the top of the watch case, you can identify the top as this will always be the 12 o’clock position on the dial." So it must be 1 pm.
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spicymotte · 3 months
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Pieces [Gigashark]
"You've had partners in your life?" The slightly surprised undertone in his scratchy voice hits a sensitive spot in her ego, causing her to slide back and forth on the old tree trunk she's sitting on. Rude.
"Well… not many, but yes, I did." Agnieszka replies, but with a little disgruntlement in her voice; was it so unthinkable that she had been with someone? "When I turned 18, they let me live in Gotham - under supervision, of course."
Nanaue makes a deep noise in his chest, thoughtful. It's unusual for a meta-human to be allowed to walk around the city like that. There was definitely more to it than just government-kindness towards an outsider.
Agnieszka snorts softly and bends down to poke around in the fire with her stick. Sparks fly into the night, dancing away in the darkness until they burn out. For a brief moment, they look like stars - before they reach the end of their lives and die out. The itching of the healing wounds on her neck is frustrating and makes patient conversation difficult, but it's still better than the silence. Anything is better than silence.
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"I think they wanted to see if I could live normally without using my powers," she continues, following the flight of the sparks with her eyes. "Testing me. It worked for a while."
Nanaue remains silent, continuing to sharpen the machete in his hand. His arm moves slowly, with deliberate and controlled movements. The sound of the whetstone on the metal of the weapon is not exactly pleasant, but it is unavoidable when Agnieszka wants to suppress the screeching thoughts in her head with a conversation.
"Had a job in a movie theater. Had an apartment that was paid for by the government. I knew people - normal people. I had a completely normal, boring life." Her tone turns bitter at the thought of that long-gone time. "I was constantly watched to make sure I didn't make a mistake."
"And you went along with that?" She can clearly hear the surprise and a little displeasure in his raspy, deep voice. "After they tortured you for years?"
"Well, what can I say... It's not like I had a choice." replies Agnieszka and continues to poke at the embers. The fish wrapped in banana leaves cook slowly on the outer edge of the fire, smelling delicious. She knows that the demigod doesn't need to cook his meat, he is an absolute omnivore - but the fact that he does it anyway is a kindness to her. Because she doesn't know how to cook outside, in this climate, at this latitude. Without him, once again, she would be lost. She sighs.
"I behaved well so as not to be constantly punished in the institution where I grew up. So I got the privilege of living in the outside world." He makes another harsh noise and exhales deeply, the gills on his neck moving. She watches silently, but with interest. She'd like to have gills herself, they're cool. Use them to dive into the ocean and never come back up for air. "I had a small apartment, a job and friends. Even a-" She hesitates at the thought of Laura and swallows. "A girlfriend."
Nanaue doesn't react, listens, his eyes still fixed on his weapon, which he continues to sharpen.
Agnieszka, however, stops her words and buries her face in her hands. Talking is so difficult, even after all these years the Russian accent is heavy on her tongue and she has to search for the words to make sentences out of it. It takes a moment before she knows what she wants to say.
"A normal life is so-" She looks up, her gaze darting from the fire to the edge of the dense jungle that surrounds the abandoned resort. But even the thicket doesn't tell her how to put it, so she sighs heavily. "It's so boring. Feels wrong, like a lie."
Nanaue makes an approving noise. His life has certainly been anything but normal, but he seems to know what she means.
"Five years I lived in Gotham, among the people like a damn spy. I got up early in the morning, went to work and bought groceries. I went home to Laura and we cooked some dinner from a recipe she found online, and-" Agnieszka talks herself into a silent rage and her words falter briefly. She looks at her conversation partner, who returns her gaze from his deep, patient eyes. A silent assent to what she is about to say. "It was awful. I hated everything about it."
She can feel the electricity in her tense muscles, the crackle in her hair: a warning that she needs to calm down. All this happened a long time ago. The past can no longer hurt her in the here and now, even if it is painful to think about these things.
"I tell myself that Laura secretly hated me as much as I hated this life," Agnieszka continues. "That she called me a fucking freak, loathed me - but I think I only tell myself that to make it easier. So that it's less horrible that I killed her, just like that."
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Now he pauses in his movements. Nanaue rams the machete into the wood of the staircase on which he is sitting - with ridiculously little effort. The blue eyes, almost lost in the black that surrounds them, silently scrutinize Agnieszka. She feels naked, seen through by this confession. He is far too massive to be afraid of her, even if he probably should be. But he looks at her, reassessing her existence based on this new information.
"I couldn't take it anymore," she whispers to her hands, which are clenched in fists in front of her mouth. The magenta eyes stare into the embers of the fire glittering in the darkness. "How can they expect me to live a normal fucking life after all they've done to me." Her voice is quiet, as quiet as the crackling in the thicket where an animal prowls. "How can all these normal people not understand that this life on the hamster wheel is just awful. A lie at that. It's crazy to pretend that I care about shit like taxes. Or which fall jacket is trendy this year. It's pure madness, if you ask me."
She exhales.
"Then they put me in the power station and used me as a fucking battery for a whole decade. Well, I guess you can see straight away what happens if you don't play the game." Now she looks at Nanaue. "That's why I'm worried that I might hurt you. That I might kill you - after you've been nothing but kind. For whatever reason that is."
A deep, harsh laugh escapes the shark and he shakes his massive head. The amused grin reveals three rows of sharp fangs, deadlier than many a weapon. It sends a sharp shiver down her spine, hot and exciting.
"I think I'll be fine. Besides-" His voice drops an octave, with a very dangerous undertone in it; dangerous but somehow... flirtatious, too. "How do you know I won't kill you first?"
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neversetyoufree · 10 months
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Miscellaneous Meta
(Back to the Masterpost)
The volume 3 cover
Why I kinda like the horny scenes
How we see events that Noé didn’t
Vnc is relationship-driven like Hannibal
The arbitrary distribution of power
Vanitas paintings and significance
Luna’s “Vanitas” title
Dante’s nickname for Noé
The “salvation” of Catherine
Misha Apologia
Is fear of the Blue Moon innate?
The Dhampirs' Names
Louis’s name
Veronica’s relationship with Domi
What if Noé drinks Jeanne’s blood?
Vnc and the female gaze
Luna’s Self-Destructive Vengeance
VnC’s Metaphysics
Is Jean-Jacques a cannibal?
Who’s the bat guy?
VnC and Physical Desire
The Sexual Horror of Vampires
Jeanne’s Parents’ Execution
The Timeline of VaniJeanne
Why all the Romance Talk?
VnC FMA Parallels
Ship Discourse? (No.)
Death in VnC vs Tai Sui
VaNoé as The Great Gatsby
Vanitas vs Luo Binghe
Olivier and "Vampire Friends"
The Allusions of Doctor Moreau
Ruthven, The Vampyre, and Byron
Does Ruthven Hate Vanitas?
The Benefit of Roland's Poverty
Do Marks Transfer Power?
Could Murr Choose Noé?
Mikhail and Mischa Lecter
VnC and Classic Vampire Lit
Humans, Blood, and Sexual Violence
VnC and Banana Fish
Why Jeanne's Parents Were Killed
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astrcthesiai-archived · 4 months
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𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺
🌈 ― aesthetically pleasing blog
💻 ― excellent writing
🌼 ― creative headcanons
🥇 ― well-developed oc
😍 ― admiring from afar
I'm going to do this correctly this time! 💪👁👄👁💪
🌈 ― aesthetically pleasing blog
@phytonomy has some really good graphics for their promotions and blog. @sozokami just came out with a new theme for their blog as well.
💻 ― excellent writing
I think everyone on my followers' list has amazing writing and the potential to go even higher with their craft.
🌼 ― creative headcanons
@whiskeysmulti has really funny shitposts they get for their characters. They write up some nice headcanons, especially for their Banana Fish muses. @queenharumiura just came out with some cool metas about Haru.
🥇 ― well-developed oc
I think you have a well-developed oc. @heartsglass has some well-developed oc's as well. @sozokami goes wild with a few oc's too. . o .
😍 ― admiring from afar
There are a lot of people I admire from afar for this one. @skytired, @angelictyphoon, and @drowninliquor are just a few.
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sasheneskywalker · 9 months
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hello!
about me
i’m sashene and i love reading books/manga/comics and watching movies/TV series/anime. i spend a lot of time reading and writing fanfics. 
fandoms i post about: harry potter, percy jackson, star wars, mcu, dc, sherlock, supernatural, merlin, naruto, my hero academia, death note, code geass, steins;gate, banana fish, bungou stray dogs, durarara, jujutsu kaisen and more. 
you can find me on tumblr, twitter, reddit, discord and ao3.
my fics
https://archiveofourown.org/users/SasheneSkywalker/works
my fic recs lists
jason todd-centric fic recs
brujay fic recs
brudick fic recs
sladick explicit fic recs
batfamily fic recs that will make you laugh
batfamily fic recs where someone from the batfamily kills a person (or jason kills the joker)
batfamily fic recs where members of the batfamily deal with their experiences with sexual assault
batfamily fic recs which are told through unusual formatting
batfamily fic recs where original characters are main characters
batfamily fic recs which are told from an outsider’s perspective
batfamily fic recs where the main character is transgender or non-binary
batfamily fic recs where the main character is asexual or aromantic
my quizzes
which fanon batfam character are you?
which jason todd are you (based on ao3 tags)?
take the quiz and i’ll recommend you a jason todd-centric fanfic you’ll like
tags directory
tagging pattern: #[fandom], #[character], #[ship], #[category]
tagging categories: #meta, #fanart, #fic rec, #idea, #bookmark, #sashene’s diary, #writing, #fanfic, #fandom, #resources, #wild tumblr, #humor, #negativity, #sashene creates
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