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straylightdream · 2 years

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I think I like you - 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠

Bang Chan x f.reader

friends to lover, mutual pining, college au

↳ I’ll be right here waiting for us.

word count: 10.4k

warnings: angst, rumors of cheating, mutual pining, friends to lovers, protected sex, dirty talk, names such as: (baby), begging, first time having sex, talks about (loss virginity, creampie, and breeding kinks, Chan comments about in the future knocking the mc up, and unprotected sex) dry humping, choking, it’s sappy they’ve loved each other for years.

an: this is connected to Open Mind my Changbin story and Strawberry Latte my Jisung story, and there will be more for the other boys here. You don’t have to read that one to understand this story, it can be read as a one shot. This story is heavily inspired by “I Think I Like You” by The Band Camino and Waiting For Us by SKZ. Here is a playlist of other songs. Thank you @sulfurcosmos for all your help on this.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

-NOW -

Another shitty breakup for the books. This break up involves a boy named Minyoung who is telling you all about how he doesn’t feel comfortable with the fact your three main friends are boys. Your three month relationship is coming to a spiraling end right in front of your eyes. This argument started all because you said you would prefer to not go bar hopping on a friday night. You needed to study and Chan offered to order take out and help you study for your big test. The following statement him is what really caught you off guard, “maybe I don’t trust you because it’s clear you and Chan have fucked in the past, and obliviously he still wants you.” How do you even respond to that? You’ve never done anything with Chan that would lead him to believe you’ve slept with him. Technically you and Chan have had sex before but it was a long time ago. It was freshman year of college when you were both freshly eighteen, you decided to lose your virginity to each other. Since that fateful night you hadn’t done anything sexual together since. You’re confused on how he could of possibly known that you had sex with Chan all those years ago. You’ve never told anyone and Chan at max has told Changbin and Jisung, two people who weren’t a fan of Minyoung so there is no way they would have told him.

Since your early teen years Chan had always been a part of your life and anyone you dated was just going to have to accept it. You would always pick Chan over any boy.

-THEN-

Summer nights with Chan were always something you had cherished. Since you met him that summer before freshman year of High School when your newly divorced Father moved you to a completely new city for High School. Your father was a heartbroken man desperately wanting a fresh start for the two of you. He lived on the same street you moved to. His mother dragged him to your house to introduce themselves the first day the moving vans showed up. That was the day you met a beautiful boy with a mop of golden fluffy curls on his head and from there the rest was history. You were inseparable when he took you into his friend group with Changbin and Jisung. That summer you spent countless nights staying up late. Many hot afternoons were spent in his pool with Changbin and Jisung. You were absolutely inseparable from your new best friend.

The summer before college was when you realized you didn’t just have a crush on your best friend, you were indeed desperately in love with him. Many days you find yourself getting distracted as you listen to him passionately talk about the different things he loves.

Laying on a towel next to Changbin you watch Chan and Jisung swim around in Chan’s pool. Laying on your stomach you prop your chin up on your hand. Most of your summer had been spent with these three boys. Many sunny afternoons you found yourself in Chan’s backyard.

Changbin groans standing up stretching his body. Recently the boys have taken up working whenever they can, so Changbin who used to be skinny with a narrow jaw started filling out. You can’t help but think about how young you were when you met these boys.

“Bin and YN you better come in,” Chan shouts before diving back into the pool.

“You heard him Bambi let’s get in the pool,” Changbin says, referring to you as your nickname they’ve been calling you since your first winter together when you rolled your ankle on the ice. Most people probably wouldn’t be fond about having a nickname that focused on how you were clumsy but there was something about them calling you Bambi you found sweet.

Taking his hand you stand up adjusting your bathing. This is the first summer you’ve worn a two piece that exposes more of your body. You’ve caught all three of them staring at your exposed skin. Jisung and Changbin were a little more open about watching you then Chan. The one time you caught his eyes locked on your boobs and he quickly looked away with the tops of his ears burning bright red. Walking closer to the edge of the pool you dipped your foot testing the water.

“Just jump in,” Jisung shouted as he splashed Chan.

“Let’s go Bambi,” Changbin came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, hugging you from behind. He jumped in holding on to you. The chilled water felt amazing against your sun kissed skin from this hot summer day. He releases you as soon as you’re fully underwater. You take a moment relaxing under the water before swimming up to the surface in the deep end. You breach the water and you find Chan swimming right in front of you. Kicking your feet you reach out touching the beautiful golden skin on his shoulder. He smiles reaching up to push the water away from his face.

He’s so beautiful and he doesn’t seem to know it. You forget all about Changbin and Jisung who are fighting in the shallow end as you swim in place in the deep end with Chan.

“Can you believe this is our last summer home?” He brings up the same thing you have been thinking about for weeks.

“I mean we can come home during the summer,” you know going to a school further away means you won’t be home very often.

“We can, but at least we’ll have each other so no matter where we go it still feels like home,” he smiles. Everything about Chan feels like home to you. You love your father and your friends Jisung and Changbin, but Chan is the person who truly feels like home to you. You would go anywhere and stay anywhere with him.

You couldn’t be happier that you chose to go to the same University as Chan. Your father was sad that you would be moving away for school, but he was happy to know you would have Chan there to look after you.

That summer you spent with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung was the best summer of your life.

When summer came to close it was finally time to start college together. Freshman year you lived on campus with Angel, a sweet girl with a creative spirit. She soon became one of your great friends and immediately joined your friend group along with Changbin new roommate Minho. Many nights that first year of college you found yourself with Chan by your side. Many times you fell asleep in his dorm and would lie in his bed with him rambling on about anything you could think of.

After one drunken night with your friend group a drunk clingy Chan informed you of his still very much intact virginity that seemed to be weighing on his mind. You and Chan had always talk about a lot of things in your life, but one thing you never talked about was either of your past sexual experiences or lack there of for Chan. In the whole time you’ve been friends you can only think of one girl Chan gave the time of day to. He liked Rachel back in senior year of high school but after going to formal together it quickly fizzled out. That was the only dance you didn’t go to with him. Instead you ended up going with Changbin who could tell you were hurt that Chan didn’t ask you.

-NOW-

Standing in Chan and Jisung’s house you wondered if you made a mistake going out. Even though you weren't head over heels in love with Minyoung, getting broken up with still hurts. You gave three months of your life to a guy who wasn’t ever going to fully trust your relationship with your best friend.

Someone comes up behind you wrapping their arms around your soft stomach pulling you into their chest. There is only one person that manhandles you like this. You look back to see Changbin holding you.

“Hey Bin,” you smile as he releases you.

“Where did Chan and Jisung go?”

“Jisung library girl just texted him telling him she's walking up, and last time I saw Chan he was heading off towards the kitchen.”

“Is your study buddy coming tonight?” you ask. Changbin told you in class today about the girl he’s been chasing after. She’s the first girl that has really seemed to tame Changbin and fully capture his attention. Since they started ‘studying’ Changbin hasn’t really been talking to anyone else. This girl seems to be the only person he cares about.

“I don’t know I might have scared her off,” he sighs looking down.

“I told you not tell her that you should just fuck already,” you can’t help but laugh at how blunt Changbin decided to be. After everything he has told you about her you aren’t shocked that blunt statement scared her.

“Yeah I know. I think I scared her off. I asked her to come here if she wanted something more.”

“Oh Changbin,” you pat his shoulder. “Where did Angel go with Minho? She said they were going out but wouldn’t give me details. She said they had these plans before Chan and Jisung planned this party.”

“I think they’re going to get dinner and then just having sex to be honest. They know they have the apartment to themselves basically all night because Hyunjin came with me. So they can be as loud as they want.”

“Do they still not know that we know?” There was one fateful night you and Changbin accidentally found both of Changbin’s two roommates having sex in Angel’s room. The door wasn’t fully shut and you and Changbin stopped by his house so he could grab his laptop. You and Changbin made a pack that you wouldn’t tell anyone until Angel and Minho told the group. What was going on with them didn’t concern anyone else in the group.

“They have no clue and I don’t think Hyunjin knows. His room is the furthest away from either of them. I’ve seen Minho sneak into her room once since. Hyunjin asked what they were doing tonight and I just told him they have plans.”

“We should go find Chan,” you say, leading Changbin off towards the kitchen where you find Chan pulling liquor out of the cupboard.

“Chan can you make me a drink?” you say catching his attention.

“What do you want?” He asks.

“Surprise me.”

Your phone in the back pocket of your jeans starts vibrating. Pulling out your phone you’re surprised to see Angel’s name. You excuse yourself from this kitchen. Walking upstairs towards Chan’s room attempting to get away from the noisy party so you can answer the phone.

“Angel what’s up?”

“Hey YN,” she says.

“Is everything okay with Minho?” she doesn’t normally call you. You always text about everything.

“Minho and I were getting dinner when we ran into Minyoung and his dumb ass friends.” Angel went on to tell you all about how your ex was running his mouth. You didn’t care that he blamed you for the breakup. You cared that he’s bringing Chan into this by lying and saying you cheated on him with your best friend. Before hanging up she lets you know that Minho did defend you which made you smile. You asked her to tell Minho not to tell Chan about what your ex is saying.

Sitting on the edge of Chan’s bed you don’t understand how your ex can just go around lying. If he wants to blame you for the break up that’s fine, in the last month you hadn’t been as available to hang out as he was. You had been so focused on school, and it was hard worrying about someone else and trying to be a good girlfriend. But you can’t stand him lying that you were cheating on him.

Shoving your phone into the front pocket of your jeans you head back downstairs. You find Chan still in the kitchen with Changbin, but now Jisung and the girl that holds his attention are standing in there with them. Jisung looks absolutely smitten as he is hugging his library girl from behind.

Walking to the entry to the kitchen you say, “Hey Chan, can I talk to you?”

He looks up at you immediately. You’ve always had these moments with Chan when you look into his warm eyes and suddenly the room feels empty. He looks at you like he knows what you’re thinking and even if you’re upset or anxious you know it will be okay. Because no matter what he’s going to be there. How did you even live before you met him? Was existing even possible before the boy with dimples entered your life. Here you are standing in this crowded house party at his and Jisung’s place. You just got off the phone with Angel telling you that she ran into Minyoung and he decided to tell her and Minho you cheated on him with Chan. You should be absolutely furious he’s spreading this lie, but instead you don’t care.

Chan tilts his head to the side as he walks out of the kitchen directly towards you. You’re frozen as he gets closer to you. He stops right in front of you tilting his head as if he’s studying you.

“Who called?” He breaks the silence between you.

“Angel did. She’s out with Minho getting dinner and ran into Minyoung who was running his mouth.” You decide to leave out the part about him saying you cheated on him with Chan. You can tell him about that later when you don’t have to worry about him getting angry at his party.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing he’s just blaming me for our relationship not working out,” you’re upset but you don’t want Chan to know you are. Your failed relationship troubles shouldn’t fall back on him. You’ve been through enough shitty break ups while in college, Chan doesn’t constantly need to know about your boy problems. The whole time he’s been your best friend you’ve never heard him complain about girl problems.

“Are you okay?” He knows you're not. He can tell you’re upset.

“Yeah it’s just annoying. We broke up so I don’t get why he is running his mouth.”

You stand there talking to Chan for a little while before some friends from Chan’s music class challenge Jisung and Hyunjin to a game of beer pong. You walk over sitting on the couch against the wall. Chan joins you shortly after sitting close to you like he always does. You watch the game unfold and you can’t help but pay attention to the way Jisung is with his date. He seems so adorably nervous around her.

Chan catches your attention when he reaches out and takes your hand in his the same way he always does. He’s leaning in close because he wants to talk to you loud enough for only you to hear. “Sungie seems smitten,” he points out how into this girl his roommate seems to be into.

“What's her name?”

“Honey,” his thumb slowly draws across the top of your hand.

You take a deep breath leaning in even closer to him. You don’t know why you suddenly want to cry. Maybe it’s because you’re hurt about the whole situation with your ex. Or maybe it’s because not long ago you saw Changbin’s study buddy head up stairs, and in front of you you’re watching Jisung slowly fall in love with the girl from the library. Two of your three best friends are getting to be with the two people they seem to be head over heels for, and yet you don’t know what that's like. Sure the boy you’re head over heels for is holding your hand as you lean against him, but the intimacy stops there. You don’t get to kiss him goodnight and tell him about how you truly feel. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. The tears that are threatening to fall are because you’re jealous.

“Jisung seems really happy,” you whisper.

Bringing the red cup to your lips to take a drink of the strong liquid Chan made for you. You can feel his eyes on you as you hold your eyes closed. He squeezes your hand catching your attention. Bringing the cup down you look at him and he looks sad as he’s staring back at you.

“I don’t want you to drive tonight. Just stay here with me?”

“Channie this couch hurts my back,” you sigh thinking back to the many nights you’ve fallen asleep during movie nights on this couch.

“No I’m not asking you to sleep on the couch, we can both sleep in my room.”

“Is Jisung room still pretty soundproof?” you ask knowing that Changbin isn’t the quietest when he’s in bed. You would really prefer not to hear another one of your friends having sex.

“Yeah, we soundproof both our rooms so we wouldn’t have to worry about keeping it down while we were working on tracks.”

There is a small part of you that wants to tell him you shouldn’t stay the night, but your heart is telling you to say yes. After the week you’ve had there is nothing more you want then to cuddle with Chan. You haven’t had a sleepover or cuddled in probably five months.

It’s not long before Jisung and his girl leave the house, leaving Chan in charge of everyone in the house. Around 3:30 in the morning is when everyone finally leaves the house. Hyunjin stays behind to help you and Chan clean up some. You listen as he and Chan talk. Hyunjin is talking about a girl who lives with Felix that caught his interest. Last time you got lunch with Felix he was telling you about his new roommate who was a trust fund girl who was rebelling against her father. According to Felix “she’s sweet but a hot mess.”

“Hyunjin, I thought you said you can’t be distracted while you work on your collection for that exhibit?”

“Nothing has happened Chan, and I highly doubt she knows I exist. The last time I saw her she stumbled into the apartment wasted and Felix had class he couldn’t miss so I took care of her. I left as soon as Felix got home. I’m pretty sure she forgot I took care of her.”

Hyunjin is a sweet boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and you can tell if he gets involved with this girl she might hurt him.

You finish cleaning up the house and Hyunjin finally heads home around 4:30. Heading upstairs with Chan he lets out a loud yawn. You turn back and look at him smiling at how sleepy he looks. You walk down the small hallway to where Chan’s room is. As you open the door to walk inside you hear Jisung’s door open. You and Chan turn and watch as Changbin who is only dressed in his boxer-briefs walks out into the small hallway. He turns and looks at Chan with a grin on his face.

“I need to get two bottles of water,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

Chan follows Changbin as they head downstairs. You go into Chan’s room and set your phone down on the nightstand before heading to the bathroom. You use the restroom and brush your teeth with the toothbrush you leave at Chan’s. Walking out of the bathroom you run into Changbin’s study buddy. You can tell she’s had quite the night with Changbin. Her hair is messy and she's dressed in nothing but Changbin’s shirt he had been wearing to the party and panties. Her cheeks burn bright as she pulls the shirt down covering as much of her body as possible.

“You’re fine. Chan and Changbin went downstairs and nobody else is in the house,” you reassure her. “I’m YN by the way,” you give her an awkward wave.

“I’m Kitten,” you can tell she is nervous and a little flustered, but lord only knows what her and Changbin have been doing in that bedroom. “Are you Chan’s best friend?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah,” you wonder if Changbin had mentioned you to her.

“I should probably use the restroom before Chan comes up and sees me like this.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say before walking off into Chan’s room.

His room will always make you smile. He’s got his expensive computer set up against the wall and his bed is against the opposite wall. He doesn’t have many decorations in his room outside his lights that he got as a gift from his friend Felix that hang above his bed. On his dresser there are two photos framed, one of him, Changbin and Jisung, and the second photo was of the two of you. You’re both only seventeen in this photo. You had spent a long day at the pool. Chan’s curls were extra crazy and your hair was messy from the pool water. You’re dressed in your bathing suit bottoms and wearing Chan’s favorite hoodie, while he’s in swim trunks and shirtless from the waist up. His arms are wrapped around you hugging you from behind. When this photo was taken Chan told you he would always keep this no matter where he went.

You reach into Chan’s dresser pulling out one of his oversized shirts and a pair of his shorter gym shorts. You strip down to your underwear before getting changed. Crawling into Chan’s bed you wait for him to come back upstairs.

The door cracks open and Chan comes in. Without a single word he pulls off his shirt tossing it in the hamper by the door. You try to open your phone to keep yourself busy but you can’t help but watch Chan as he turns his back to you and he pulls off his tight jeans. He’s left standing there in his tight black supreme boxer briefs. His beautiful toned back is on full display. He pulls on his pajama pants and before turning around you make sure you’re looking away.

Pulling the blankets back he crawls into bed next to you. It’s been so long since you had a sleepover with him. You aren’t sure how you used to hold yourself back from kissing him.

You move to get comfortable laying on your side facing Chan.

“YN?” he asks, laying on his side staring at you.

“Yeah Chan?”

“Why are you sad?” He reaches out, flipping your hand over. That’s a loaded question he asked you, but he doesn’t know it is.

“I’m just hurt about my breakup,” he traces little figures into the palm of your hand. There's a long moment of silence that takes over the room.

“Did you love him?” he asks looking up at you.

You stare at him taking in the features of his beautiful face. No man will ever compare to the man whose bed you’re laying in. “I don’t think I have ever loved any of the boys I have ever dated.” Since freshman year of college until now the second semester of Senior year you have dated four guys. None of the relationships lasted more than six months. It’s hard to fall in love when you’ve always loved your best friend.

“Minyoung didn’t deserve you,” he says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“We should sleep Channie. It’s five in the morning.”

“We should,” he brings your hand up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the top of your hand.

It’s not long before Chan falls asleep, but you can’t fall asleep no matter how hard you try. Laying in Chan’s bed you’re staring at his bare back. You aren’t sure how much longer you can go through him not knowing how you feel. There is a part of you that knows he has to have feelings for you, but part of you is absolutely afraid of rejection. You can’t risk losing him as your best friend.

-THEN-

On a chilly November evening Freshman year you were laying on Chan’s bed as he was sitting at his desk working on a new song he had been working on all week, you stared at your art history homework. Your brain was hurting from all the studying you had been doing for a huge quiz you had on thursday. Closing your book you stared at Chan who seemed completely lost in his own world. He had one headphone covering one of his ears.

“Channie?” You say loud enough for him to hear you over his music.

He takes his headphones fully off, setting them down the desk. Spinning around in his desk chair so he’s facing you fully. His curls are extra messy from his pushing his fingers through them. He’s wearing a zip up hoodie that is unzipped low enough for you to tell he isn’t wearing a shirt.

“Can I ask you something?” There had been something weighing on your mind since that drunken night Chan talked about still being a virgin. You move so you’re sitting cross legged on Chan’s bed.

“Yeah you can ask me anything?”

“Are you happy still being a virgin?” You didn’t know how to sugarcoat your question so you got straight to the point. His ear instantly turned a bright shade of red as he stared at you looking shocked.

“Um-um-um,” he was nervously stuttering.

“I’m a virgin too and I’m just wondering why everyone makes such a big deal about saving it for someone special.” You had thought about your virginity long before Chan’s drunken confession, but since finding out he was as well you thought about it even more. You had an opportunity to lose your v card at a graduation party with Hyunjae, a cute boy who spent the whole entire party flirting with you. You even had quite an intense makeout session with him in the pool house while he felt you up under your bra. He even asked you to go all the way.

He blinks at you like he can’t figure out what he wants to say. There is something so adorable about him when he’s absolutely flustered like he is right now.

“Do you want to sex with someone?” He says, sounding absolutely flustered.

That’s the complicated thing, it’s just not somebody. You had been thinking about it since you graduated, that you wanted your first time to be with your best friend. “Chan, do you still want to be a virgin?”

“YN- I-” he pauses and you know he’s trying to figure out exactly what he should say to you. “I don’t want my first time to just be with some random girl.”

You wished you didn’t have to directly tell him you want your first time to be with him, but he’s so nervous you don’t think he will pick up on your hints. “Chan, what if your first time was with me?” This is the chance to be brave and tell Chan exactly what you want.

His mouth opens and quickly as he stares at you again with his eyes wide. Reaching back he scratches the back of his neck.

Looking down at your lap you play with the sleeve of your hoodie, nervous that you might have made a mistake. “We’ve never even kissed,” he finally speaks.

“What if we kissed now?” you move so you’re sitting on the edge of the bed with your feet resting on the hardwood floor.

A screaming silence takes over the room as he stands up. He looks so soft as he stands in front of you. He’s dressed in his gym shorts he wore when he went to work out with Changbin. He steps closer to you holding his hand out. Without another thought you stand in front of him taking his hand for a moment. There isn't much space between you. Your eyes are locked on his warm one. He’s looking at you like he does all the time, like you're the light in a dark room. Taking a deep breath you wonder what happens next. Reaching up you make a move resting your hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes leaning into your touch. His thumb drags across the delicate skin on your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whisper.

“YN?”

“Yeah Channie?”

He leans forward and there is barely any space between your lips. You’ve never been this close to his lips, even on the nights you’ve fallen asleep in bed. He’s never been this close to your lips. “Are you sure you want me to be your first?”

Silently you nod. You swallow slowly, “you’re important to me.”

“What if I’m terrible at having sex?” he’s just as nervous as you are that you won’t be good at this.

“I want my first time with you? We can learn together what to do.”

He leans forward and his lips touch yours for the first time. His soft lips taste like his peppermint chapstick that has always been in his backpack. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him even closer to you. Your body feels alive as your lips move together. You back him up until the back of his legs hit his computer chair. He sits down and pulls you down so you’re straddling his thighs. You continue your heated makeout session. Your lips only part for him to pull off your hoodie. Once you remove your bra you’re sitting on his lap completely bare from the waist up. His hand roams all over your body as your lips continue to move together. You learn quickly the sound of Chan moaning as you grind your core against his strained gym shorts is music to your ears.

It’s not long before both of you are fully naked and laying on his bed. Chan had managed to get the condom that Changbin gave him on their first day of college. He hovers over you with a goofy smile on his face. Reaching up you push your fingers through his fluffy curls.

“If this is terrible, promise me you won't hate me,” he says brushing his nose against yours.

“I could never hate you Chan.”

Your first time together wasn’t perfect by any means. Chan struggled a little to find a rhythm and a couple clumsy kisses led to your noses bumping. He finished a little earlier than he would have wanted to but it was okay because you found your own release shortly after with the help of his finger. It wasn’t earth shattering sex by any means, but that's okay because you preferred your first time be slightly awkward and clumsy, because it was with Chan and that’s what was important.

Laying there in his bed dressed in nothing but your hoodie and panties you knew that even though you loved Chan with your whole heart no matter what happened in life you needed him by your side even if he was just your friend.

Your first time together didn’t lead to some confession of undying love, you didn’t even have the nerve to admit you liked him as more than a friend. But that was okay because he was still the most important person in your life.

-NOW-

Two weeks have passed since your sleepover with Chan and you’ve been with him pretty nonstop. He’s been trying his hardest to do things that make you smile. You’ve been trying your hardest to not think about your break up.

One night you had a movie night over Changbin’s house with him, and his new girl Kitten, Angel and Minho. Hyunjin was busy doing something with Felix and couldn’t join, and Jisung was on a date with Honey and asked Chan if he could have the house to himself.

Sitting on the couch between Changbin and Chan you distracted yourself the whole movie by paying attention to the way Changbin would hold Kitten’s hand and every so often lean over and kiss her. It made you smile finally seeing Changbin somewhat tame now that he’s with his study buddy. You kept glancing up at Angel and Minho who would touch each other’s hands for a few seconds here and there. Since finding out they were at least sleeping together you’ve become aware of their lingering touches and how close they are.

Chan reaches over resting his hand on your thigh. Looking over him he smiles before leaning over and whispering, “can I crash in your living room tonight. I don’t know what Jisung has planned with Honey.”

“Of course.” You know he’s not going to sleep in your living room. He never does, he’ll sleep in your bed just like he always does.

The moment the movie ends Changbin disappears with Kitten grabbing her hand pulling her off to his room. Chan went off to Minho's room so he could show him something while you went to the kitchen with Angel.

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a coffee cup. She grabbed you one and worked on making you each a cup of tea.

“Are you going to dare sleeping in the room next to Changbin’s tonight?” You know that Changbin’s room isn’t soundproofed like Jisung’s so if Angel slept in her room she would most likely hear noises from Changbin and his girl that she probably wouldn't want to.

“Oh god no. Minho offered to hang out with me, and I could sleep on the couch in the living room.” She’s completely oblivious to the fact that you know she’s hooking up with Minho.

“Is Chan coming to your place tonight?” She asked, handing you a cup of tea.

“Yeah, Jisung has some special date with Honey planned.”

“Have you decided if you’re applying for your grad school program?” For the last week and half deciding on if you were going to grad school had been weighing on your mind. You know you have your apartment lease for another year so even if you don’t go to grad school you can still live near all your friends. Chan already told you Jisung and him were staying in the city and gonna work on producing more music and Changbin already has an internship at a record label.

“I think I’m gonna do it. I want to get into publishing and grad school can help. What about you?”

“I’m putting my app in for nursing school so hopefully it goes well. I think Minho mentioned grad school. He’s like you, he's trying to figure out the next step. I told him he should really try to become a teacher like he wants to.”

Chan comes into the kitchen with Minho right behind him. He walks over and rests his head on your shoulder. It’s pushing midnight and you can tell he’s tired.

“I think I need to get this guy home,” you lean your head against his.

“Angel we should watch another movie, I figure by the time that movie is over maybe Changbin will have worn himself out,” Minho reaches over and takes Angel’s cup from her hands.

The drive back to your place is pretty short. Chan parks in the same spot he always does. You head up to your apartment and he takes off his shoes and stretches his tired body. The hem of his shirt rising up exposing just enough of his beautiful skin between the hem of his shirt and his jeans.

“Did you want me to sleep on the couch?” He yawns.

You should say yes, because maybe if he does you can work on trying to turn off your feelings you have for him, and maybe some of this building tension between you could dissipate.

Shaking your head, “no why don’t you crawl into bed. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

He heads off to your room and you head off to the bathroom. Your body feels super tense and you’re hoping a shower can help relax you finally. You’re happy to see your pajamas are still left in the bathroom from this morning. Opening the sliding glass door of the shower you turn on the warm water.

Stripping away your clothes you step into the warm water. You try your hardest not to get your hair wet attempting to just wash your body and let the warm water relieve your tense muscles. Standing there you try to shut your brain off but all you can think of is Chan. Since Minyoung broke up with you and brought up your friendship with Chan you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. You would be lying to yourself if you said you thought you could have ever loved Minyoung or any of your other exes for that matter.

Getting out of the shower you dry off and get dressed for bed. Walking into your room you see a very peaceful looking Chan dresses in just his sleep shorts he always leaves at your place. He’s curled up under the covers on the side he always sleeps on. He’s already sound asleep. Crawling into bed you lay on your side looking at him. You watch him as he slowly breathes. You want to reach out and hold him but you can’t. There’s this little part of you that wonders what would happen if you could stop loving him. You wonder if things would be easier. Maybe you could date someone and actually fall in love with them. There is this little nagging voice asking what would've happened if you would have fallen in love with either Jisung or Changbin if they would love you back or want to be with you.

Reaching out your rest, your hand on top of Chan’s that is on the bed between you. Your thumb runs across the skin on top of his hand like he does to you when he’s listening to you talk.

“Why can’t we be together?” you whisper to yourself.

You fall asleep shortly after thinking of your best friend like you always did.

-THEN-

Senior Winter Formal was something you had been looking forward to since the first day of senior year. Sitting in Jisung’s room you listen as Jisung is talking about how he asked out a girl from his science class. The formal was in two weeks, usually by now Chan has already asked you to be his date. Since Winter Formal was announced you haven’t even heard Chan mention it. You hadn’t bought a dress or anything for the dance.

“Changbin, who are you going with?” Jisung asks, throwing himself down on the bed next to you.

Changbin is lounging against the wall next to you on the bed. He looks at Jisung, narrowing his eyes, “Sungie I haven’t really thought about it. I’ll go solo if anything.”

“What about you YN?” Jisung asks, hitting your foot.

You look over at Chan who is sitting in a Jisung’s desk chair messaging someone on his phone. He’s seemed super distracted these last two weeks. Normally by now Chan would chime in and tell the boys he was going with you, but his silence was deafening. You swallow realizing he’s not taking you. You can’t explain it but you suddenly feel like you’re about to cry.

“I don’t have a date,” you try your hardest to force a smile.

Jisung rolls off the bed. Looking down at your lap you try your hardest to fight back the tears that keep trying to fall. Changbin nudges your leg with his, capturing your attention. Looking up at him he gives you a sad smile.

“Channie, do you have a date? I can’t be the only one here with a date,” Jisung pesters.

Chan closes his phone and looks up at Jisung who is standing in front of him. He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah I just asked Rachel and she said she would go with me.” There it is, he’s found another girl he would rather go with then you. Closing your eyes you push back the tears threatening to fall. Your chest hurts realizing that Chan has someone he likes.

Changbin's hand rests on your knee giving it a quick squeeze. “Bambi?” He says barely loud enough for the other boys to hear.

“Did you need a ride home?”

“Yeah I should probably go home for dinner,” you get off the bed. You want to get out of this room so badly. You can’t let Chan and Jisung know you’re upset because Chan is going out with someone else.

“My mom asked me to head home for dinner too,” Changbin says.

You leave Jisung’s house and walk outside where Changbin’s car is parked. He unlocks his car and you sit down in the passenger seat. He gets in the car and puts the keys in the ignition but doesn’t start the car.

“YN?” He calls you by your actual name which is something he doesn’t do very often. He calls you Bambi more than anyone else.

“Yeah Bin?”

“Go formal with me.” He wasn’t asking you, he was telling you, you should go with him. You don’t say anything, you just lean your head against the window still fighting back tears. “I didn’t know he was asking Rachel. If I would've known he was asking someone else I would have asked you to go with me last week.”

“Bin you can go with another girl if you want. You don’t need to take me just because Chan isn’t.”

He sighs and you look over at him, he looks upset and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like seeing you sad. “Please just go to formal with me. There is no one else I would rather go with.” “Okay,” you whisper.

Two weeks later when Winter Formal came around Changbin made a big deal about you matching and even took you out to dinner before the dance. Jisung and Chan rented a limo and went with both their dates. Chan was quite awkward when he found out you were going with Changbin, but asked if you guys wanted to ride in the limo with them. Before you could say anything Changbin told him he would be driving. Changbin made a big deal about making sure the night was special for you.

Formal for the most part was quite uneventful. Somehow Chan got dragged away and had to hang out with Rachel’s friend group leaving you to hang out with Changbin, and Jisung and his date.

You and Changbin spent most the night talking and eventually Jisung made both of you dance with him. When a slow song came one you watched from across the dance floor as your best friend danced with another girl. Changbin immediately took your hand leading you to the dance floor so you could dance. him. He held you close swaying to the rhythm of the slow song. You couldn’t help but look up every so often at Chan dancing with Rachel. There was a stabbing feeling in your chest that let you know that you were very much in love with your best friend.

-NOW-

It had been a month and half since your break up, in that time you had seen a handful of your ex’s friends and heard them whisper about you cheating on him. It wasn’t worth the waste of breath to tell them you didn’t cheat. You only cared that nobody said anything to Chan.

You were just trying really hard to avoid Minyoung but it’s a little hard when you find him at your front door one evening. You had been getting ready for Chan to come over so he could order take out with you.

It takes everything in you not to slam the door right in his face. “We need to talk,” you can tell by the look on his face. He's clearly upset.

“I don’t want to talk,” you groan. You’re exhausted from this breakup and the last thing you want to do is talk to him.

“YN please let me in so we can talk.”

Stepping aside, Minyoung walks into your living room. He walks a few feet into your living room when he turns around to face you. He crosses his arms as he knits his eyebrows together staring at you. “You know the other night I saw you at the bar with Angel, Minho and Chan?” Of course he’s brought up when he saw you out with Chan. “Why am I not shocked that Chan slid in the moment he had a chance?”

You have a gut feeling you know where this conversation is going. Before you can say anything your front door opens and Chan walks in he clearly used his key you gave him. You don’t know if you’re excited Chan can save you from this conversation or worried about what might happen. Chan’s eyes are immediately locked on Minyoung as he takes his shoes off by the door. Your ex turns around and lets out a loud laugh at the site of your best friend.

“You got to be fucking kidding?” Minyoung says. “I don’t think I was lying when I said you were cheating on me with Chan,” he glares at you but you can’t even look at him. You’re just looking at Chan who goes from looking confessed to angry quite quickly.

“Minyoung what the fuck are you talking about?” Chan finally speaks. He walks over so he’s standing off to the side but between you and your ex.

You close your eyes scrunching your nose. You know that Chan is going to be pissed that your ex is spreading rumors about you. “He’s been telling people that I cheated on him with you.”

There is a long beat of silence and Chan looks like he’s trying his hardest to calm down. Biting your bottom lip you nervously mess with the sleeve of your sweater. Chan stops looking at Minyoung and he immediately looks at you. “That’s why you were upset at my party huh?”

“Oh how sweet, did she run to her Channie for comfort?” Minyoung lets out a bitter laugh.

“Shut up Minyoung,” you shout. “You need to leave.” You can’t stand to look at him anymore.

“I’ll leave but I need you to answer this one thing. Tell me to my face you don’t have feelings for him. Tell me you aren’t in love with him.” He stares right at you. You glance up at Minyoung for a second before looking down at your feet. You can’t tell him the truth and if you lie to him that could hurt Chan. “Your silence speaks volumes. Chan I hope you're happy you ruined everything.”

“Shut the fuck up Minyoung,” Chan steps between you and Minyoung and pushes your ex’s chest. “We’re just friends,” Chan sounds the angriest you’ve ever heard him.

“Don’t try this ‘just friends’ bullshit with me. She can’t even say she doesn’t have feelings for you. Anyone with eyes can see the way you look at her.”

You reach up grabbing Chan’s arm to pull him away from Minyoung before he does something he might regret. Chan’s never been a violent person, but you know he would do anything to protect you and your honor. “Chan he’s not worth it,” you whisper. Chan turns around to look at you and you can see the hurt behind his eyes.

“I’m not blind I saw your lingering touches on her whenever you got a chance,” Minyoung continued. “I see the way you look at her, and unfortunately I saw the way she looks at you.”

“Get the fuck out before I physically remove you,” Chan growls.

“I think you both just proved my point,” Minyoung says before leaving and slamming the door.

Standing in your living room still holding onto Chan’s arm. There is a suffocating silence taking over the room. You release his arm and step back pushing your fingers through your hair.

“Why couldn’t you tell him you weren’t in love with me,” he sighs. You look up into his sad brown eyes. He looks like he’s on the verge of crying. Stepping forward you rest your hand on his cheek. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes. His eyes slowly open and he opens his mouth with his lip quivering, “I think I know why you didn’t say anything but I need to hear you say it.”

That’s it, eight years of bottled up feelings finally need to be laid out on the table. You can’t deny your feelings to yourself or him anymore. If you lie to him and yourself and tell him you don’t love him you’ll lose him. Some things are worth the risk in life and nothing has been worth more of a risk this. You take our hand off his cheek and take a deep breath.

“I love you. I think I have since that first summer I moved in,” the suffocating weight has finally been lifted off your chest. “Please tell me you love me too, because I’m so scared I’m going to lose you,” you suddenly want to cry. Your eyes are brimming with tears as you look at your best friend. “I pushed away these feelings for so long, and I can finally tell you I have always loved you.”

He takes your face in both his hands before leaning forward and brushing his nose against yours the same way he did that fateful night you slept together. “I have loved you since the moment I met you. I fell so hard for you the first movie night we had at my house with Bin and Jisung when we were fourteen. I never stopped loving you, and do you know how hard it was to let you go after that night we slept together.”

“Why didn’t we confess then?” The tears slowly start sliding down your cheek.

“Because we were both dumb, but we were both so scared.” His thumb brushes the tear away from your cheek. “Let’s not waste another moment. I love you so much and I don’t want to watch you date any more of these idiots.”

“I don’t want to date anyone else.”

Leaning forward he presses his lips to yours for the first kiss you’ve shared since your one night together. This kiss was different from the first. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as your lips move together. He’s still holding your face in his hands. Your fingers grip his shirt holding him close to you. Pulling his lips away from yours he rested his forehead against yours.

“We’ve missed out on so much time together,” he whispered. “I watched you try dating other people, but I couldn’t bring myself to even try to love anyone else. A part of me has always been waiting for you.” He brushes his lips against yours for another kiss. “I've been waiting for us.”

Stepping back from him you take a moment to just look at him. Reaching down you take his hand. He doesn’t say anything as you lead him off to your bedroom.

“Channie, I don't want to waste another moment. Will you make love to me?” He stands there staring at you nervously.

“I’m still not super experienced. I’ve only slept with two other people,” you think back to the few drunken nights Chan had when you were dating other people and Chan would spend parties talking to other girls. He stopped showing interest in other people like that during sophomore year.

You step back pulling off your sweater. “That’s fine Chan.” You step closer to him reaching for the bottom of his shirt. “I just want to be with you.”

You both strip down to your underwear and you lead Chan to your bed. Sitting on your bed with his back against the headboard you sit on his thighs. Your lips move together as his hand roams your back. His hands brush against the clasp of your bra and you smile pulling away. His hand reaches up and pushes your bra straps off your shoulders. He reaches behind you stumbling a little but works on unclasping your bra.

Sitting on his thighs completely bare from the waist up you reach forward kneading his already hardened erection straining against his black boxer briefs. The moment you make contact a moan passes his lips as his head rolls back against the wall. Leaning forward you press your lips to his throat. You kiss your way from the bottom of his throat up his jaw until you reach his lips again. His hands find their way to your breast. One hand focuses on pinching your nipple while the other hand massages your other breast. Pulling your lips away from his you moan at the feeling of his hands on you. Rolling your head back you moan his name.

He presses his lips to the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder and leaves a wet kiss before nipping at your skin.

“Chan,” you gasp.

His hand travels up to your neck and his thumb runs across the center of your throat. Your eyes open as you look at him curiously. “Your neck is so pretty,” he murmurs before pressing an open mouth kiss to the delicate skin on your neck. Something clicks as he pulls away staring at you.

“Chan, when you’ve slept with other people did you try anything new?” You think back to the handful of guys you’ve been with. A couple have been better than others. One of them from junior year was really into experimenting.

“Not really,” he says with his cheeks flushing.

“That’s fine, maybe we can experiment in the future,” you smile.

“The future?” he says almost as if he’s unsure of what the future holds.

“Yes, the future. Chan, we're in it for the long haul. I like to think the long haul involves us having sex whenever we want,” you laugh a little.

“I would like to try new things with you,” he leans forward pressing his lips to yours for another kiss.

“Anything you want to try?” you ask, as his hand rests on your throat again.

“Jisung mentioned that Honey likes it when he puts pressure on her throat,” his thumb gently brushes against your windpipe.

Biting your bottom lip you try your hardest to hold back a smile. Of course Jisung likes choking his girlfriend, and of course he told Chan about it. The idea of Chan trying out new kinks on you is exciting. “If you want to try it you have my consent. If you want to try anything on me, all you have to do is ask.”

He puts a little bit of pressure on your throat and it feels exciting. You roll your hips against his strained erection earning a moan from him. He leans forward pressing his lips to yours for a heated kiss and he releases your throat letting you fully breathe for a moment before putting pressure on your throat again. You moan into his mouth rolling your hips again.

“I need to be inside you,” he groans, removing his hand from your throat.

You crawl off him removing your underwear and Chan lifts his hips removing his boxers. Reaching into your night stand you pull out the box of condoms you have and sit them down the nightstand. You pull out one foil packet and hand it to chan. He tears the packet open and slides the rubber down his strained cock. You crawl back onto his lap. Pushing your fingers through his curls he gives you a soft smile. His hands rub your sides as he stares into your eyes. He’s giving you that same look he always gives you like you're the sun to his moon, except there’s a lust filled haze there too.

“For future reference I’m on the pill and clean. So if you want to go bare, feel free to.”

He groans tilting his head back, “you’re going to kill me.”

“Why am I going to kill you?” you laugh.

“The thought of filling you up is enough to kill me,” he obviously was a little embarrassed at admitting this.

“Do you have a breeding kink I should know about,” you can’t help but smile. There is something so relaxing about this conversation between you. A heavy sigh passes his lips letting you know he does. “Chan, we can play into that one time if you want.” You lift your hips so you’re hovering over his hardened length. “Are you ready?” you whisper running his length through your wet folds. You moan as his flush head nudges your sensitive clit.

“Oh god yes,” he moans.

Slowly you sink down on his length taking his cock bit by bit. Once you’re filled to the hilt resting on his thighs you lean forward connecting your lips to his for a searing kiss. One hand grips your hip while the other takes your breast in his hand. You lift your hips slowly until just the tip is left inside you before sinking down slowly.

His lips are connected to your throat. Kissing his way across your delicate skin. Every so often you hear him whisper, “baby.” He’s never called you that before.

The room is filled with the echoing sounds of you chanting his name like a prayer and his breathless moans.

“Baby you feel perfect and so tight squeezing me cock,” he moans. Him talking dirty to you is absolutely exciting.

“Chan you feel so big,” you moan. You want him to know how good he’s making you feel. He thrust up to help you along the way as you ride him. The curve of his cock is hitting just the right place inside you. The man you’re having sex is a very different boy then the only you lost your virginity to. There is a new confidence in Chan as he helps guide your hips up and down his cock.

“I love you,” you say.

He nods his head rapidly, “I love you so fucking much.”

Taking his face in both your hands you crash your lips into his as you continue to ride him, chasing your high. He’s already lasted longer than your first time by far and the way moving you against his cock he doesn’t like he’s close. You kiss him like you need him to breathe. He is the oxygen you need in your lungs.

Pulling your lips away from him you desperately say, “I’m so close.” He’s pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Baby come for me,” he pleads.

A few more drags of his cock hitting the electric part inside you sends you over the edge. You moan his name loudly as a white hot wave takes over you. Throwing your head back he connects his lips to your throat as he continues to move you up and down his length helping you ride out your high. He slams you down hard once on his length as he finds his own lease in the rubber around his length. You roll your hips a few times before his whimpers. You are still resting on his lap with him still snug inside you.

“Have I mentioned I love you,” he says as his breathing steadies.

“I don’t think I will ever get over hearing you say that.”

He leans forward resting his nose against yours, “I don’t want to ever let you go.”

A soft laugh passes your lips, “I’m not going anywhere Chan.”

You crawl off his lap laying on your back on top of your blankets. It feels so normal just laying there naked with him. He sits there for a moment before removing his condom, tossing it in the waste bin. He jumps out of bed and runs out of your room naked. You can’t help but smile at the site of his cute ass leaving your room. He comes back into the room with a warm washcloth.

“Spread your legs baby,” there is that nickname again. You could get used to him calling you baby.

You spread your legs and he gently wipes your moist core. “Channie, you really only need to do that when you cum inside me.”

“Let me take care of you,” he says.

“Chan do you really have a breeding kink?” you’re dying to know if this is going to be something you get to play with in bed.

He tosses the washcloth in the hamper by your door and lays on the bed next to you. “I didn’t before today, but I love the idea of getting to fill you up with my cum. Maybe it’s because one day I want it all with you. I want to marry you and have kids with you.”

Your heart swells at the thought of having a little family with him. “You love me so much that you want to marry me and knock me up?” you move so you’re resting right next to him with your head on his chest.

“Are you going to let me do those things to you?” he gently rubs your side holding you close.

“The marriage or knocking me up?” “Bambi,” he says, earning a laugh from you. “I want to do both with you.”

“That’s good because I want you to do both,” you smile.

You fall asleep in bed with him, but this time it’s different because he holds you in his arms while you sleep. In the morning you wake up to him spooning you and holding him close. His morning wood pressing against your ass leads to morning sex where you get to test out Chan’s newly discovered breeding kink. You spend the whole next day together in your apartment before heading back to Chan’s place where you find Jisung and Honey eating dinner with Hyunjin and Changbin.

When you walk through the front door Changbin lights up at the sight of you and Chan holding hands. He gets up from the table and walks over to you and Chan with a huge smile on his face. “It’s about damn time you finally admitted you’re in love.”

𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬.

I realize this story hinted at someone else having a crush that hasn’t been brought. That might have to get brought of in future connecting stories.

𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘧 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧.

a lot of people asked to be tagged but when I tried tagging you your username wouldn’t come up.

@sstarryoong @hiseu @whatudowhennooneseesyou @svintsandghosts @gingertalksshit @palecoffeeruins @bubblelixie @lmhcats @hyynee @tanyas97 @lilacisentyou @ladybaudelaire @waitingforskz @penny44224 @danihernande @oxzie @leomggg @lachinitaaaaa @mattmurdockcansteponme @questiontotheanswer @avaskz @eunoia-kth @straykisz @kosmoskookie @changbinscypher @planetdemon @minaamhh @hugs4chan @cb97zone @hiseu @laylasbunbunny @caroline-ds-world @neosfw @minaamhh @idek-at-this-point-lol @jisungsbff01 @starshine-moon @hwang232 @ftwgyu @catyae @sstarryoong @hisgzel @jdbxws

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skzhua · 1 year

Text

listen carefully ('your eyes' series)

♡ "Do you trust me?"

pairing: bang chan x reader.

genre: fluff, a glimpse of angst, idiots-to-lovers.

word count: 8,659

warnings: swearing, drinking, slight angst, chan and reader are so oblivious (mostly reader).

summary: your first mistake was to major in music in college. your second mistake was to change classes and end up in bang chan's. your third was to accept his help to pass the class. your last mistake was to push him away.

a/n: not gonna lie, this one took me forever and i don't like it much, though i think it's still very cute. 2 scenarios done out of 8!

SERIES MASTERLIST

You looked back and forth from your schedule to the classroom in front of you. When you applied for a music major, you did not expect that this would involve sound testing classes. You wanted to sing and write lyrics, not do any of this producing shit. Plus, the course was scheduled from 8am to 10:30am. There was no way you would be doing whatever this is every single Monday morning for an entire semester.

With an elongated groan, you walked in the classroom and found a place in the back. You weren't even going to listen, so you plugged your earphones in and put down your head on your desk. You slept throughout the whole 30 minutes of course introduction and woke up when another student poked your sides. You immediately walked up to the teacher and asked if there was a possibility for you to switch classes. To your luck, one spot was still available in her afternoon course and you just so happened to have the rest of the day off.

In the meantime, you took it upon yourself to explore the area alone. You stumbled across a small coffee shop, so you decided you deserved to be caffeinated for your first day. After ordering a chai latte, you went on with your self tour of the campus. Taking a turn in a hallway, you collided against another student, falling on the ground in the process.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." you heard as you rubbed your sides.

Looking up, a hand was already extended to you to help you up. "Yeah, sorry too." you grunted, still in pain.

The man helped you gather your things on the ground and gasped at the sight of your lyrics book, that had opened during the fall. "Are those poems?"

"Sort of." you answered shyly.

“Can I take a look?”

You acquiesced, a bit reluctant. He scanned through the pages and nodded as he read. Pausing for some parts, he was very expressive from what you had written. You nervously waited for him to finish.

“It’s pretty good! It could be made into a song, you know?”

“That’s the goal.” you laughed out.

“Are you in music, too?” he gasped, excited.

“Yes, I just transferred here.”

He smiled widely. “Welcome, then.” Smiling back at him, you felt intimidated by the interaction. An attractive man speaking to you on your first day? What could be any better? “I have to go to class. I’ll see you around then.”

He left with a wink and you were a blushing mess by then. Your gaze lingered on his back as he walked further from you.

"Y/N?" Looking for the source of the voice, you spotted your dorm mate, Dahye with a girl walking next to her. "May I present you Byeol." she smiled as she introduced her friend. The latter looked unbothered as she waved briefly before going back on her phone. "So? How's the first day?"

You shrugged since you really didn't have much to say. "Fine, I suppose."

"I see you met Chan." Dahye wiggled her eyebrows. "The brightest music senior student."

"So that's his name, uh." you muttered to yourself. "I bumped into him, that's all."

"Oh, well. I'll see you tonight! We are running late."

And so were you. Checking the time, you had a brief three minutes remaining before the class started. You didn't even know where the course was given. As you rushed through the hallways, you finally found an auditorium where the same woman from the morning class was standing. Bashfully, you walked in the room and sat at the first spot you saw, excusing yourself for bothering.

This went on essentially exactly like the morning class. The teacher introduced the course plan and answered some of the questions. The topics were interesting. However, you had no clue on how you would be using the material in your future career. Throughout your life, you had always worked alongside your father for the music you made. He was a music producer himself, meaning you did not need to worry of this part of the song making process.

After the professor dismissed the students, you were slowly putting back your books in your bag when you saw a shadow stop at your desk. Smiling as his dimples showed, Chan and another man were standing right in front of you.

"It makes sense you're a music major." he chuckled. "This is my friend, Jisung."

You bowed slightly to the man who copied your move before stepping away a bit. What was it with people and introductions today?

"I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were in your last year of college." you said, getting up from your seat.

"Ah." he laughed shyly. "It's a complementary class, I've actually done it already, but the teacher asked me to help out her other students, like this guy over here." he nodded towards Jisung. "I won't be here every class, though. I'm part of the music club so I have to deal with that as well. And I work part-time at the library."

The man was truly an exemplary student, being so dedicated to school. It both impressed and scared you. He kept on explaining what he does for the campus and mentioned a few people. He was very social and comfortable to converse with, it made you feel at ease. He also suggested to give you a tour of the place himself. You felt uneasy from being shown such kindness, but you gladly accepted his offer. Anyway, you'd had to make some friends at some point and befriending this social guy might be of a good help. Eventually, Jisung left the two of you to go home. Chan stayed with you as you tried to find your way back to your dorm.

"Do you need help with that too?" he joked, but you were sincerely lost.

"Please?" you pouted, making him chuckle.

"Alright, what's your dorm address?"

As you searched for it on your phone, a girl came up to Chan from behind. She back hugged him as she started to talk with him in a very casual manner. Chan ruffled her hair as he hugged her back, asking her about her day. Having found your dorm number, you stood still to wait until he was done with his small talk. He soon realized you were still there, so he introduced you to the girl.

"Sora, this is Y/N. She's in my sound art practices class. Y/N, this is my best friend, Sora."

"Hi! Happy to meet you!" she smiled at you warmly. She was the first person aside from Dahye and Chan to be more civil with introductions.

"Likewise." you smiled back before turning your attention back on Chan. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

"No, no. I'll show you, don't worry." he said and gave a sad look to Sora. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

"Yeah, sure." she answered, but hesitation could still be heard in her tone. "Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?" he said, kissing the top of her head and she nodded before leaving.

"Maybe you should go? She looks disappointed." you pointed out while starting to head towards your dorm.

"She's fine. Her and Minho can be awkward when left alone together, that's all." he shrugged.

You didn't insist any more and walked next to him and he asked you a few questions about yourself. His presence was warm and you were almost disappointed when you had finally reached your dorm.

"Thank you for walking me home."

"No worries." Chan chuckled. "Again, welcome to the school. I'll see you next week, then?"

"Yeah, next week."

He watched you go inside before leaving. It was no surprise that you were alone since Dahye would always come late. For the time being, you pulled out your books and planned out your schedule. You added your new workplace you'd be starting to work at to your weekends. The small convenience store on the other side of the street was a perfect job while still being in your studies. It paid surprisingly good and the shifts were very flexible.

Dahye almost broke the door when she came inside, her heavy school bag dragged behind her. It was close to 10pm and you wondered what she was doing out so late.

"If Byeol makes me watch the three To All The Boys I've Loved Before again, I'm killing myself." she grunted before sitting on her bed.

"She doesn't seem like the kind to be into romcoms."

She gave you a look as she huffed. "It's her entire life, I swear. Like, I get the hype, but to this extent? No thanks."

You shrugged your shoulders as you went back to your agenda. In all honesty, you were the romantic kind as well. The only difference was that you had very high standards in relationships, resulting to you still being single. You had never dated someone in long term because you would sense it if the connection was off.

"I got some ramens at the store on my way here. Want to share?" Dahye prompted, holding two bowls of instant noodles.

So far, you had two friends in your list: Dahye and Jeongin. The boy worked at the convenience store with you and was still in his first year, but it was his second term. The thing you absolutely adored about Jeongin was how aware he was of all the drama happening. And by everything, I mean everything.

"That girl went out with Minho." he pointed to the girl Dahye introduced you as Byeol who was behind you in the cafeteria. "It's so weird seeing them eat together."

"Maybe they fixed things between them." you shrugged your shoulders.

"I doubt it. Look at how Minho looks at her."

You glanced briefly at the group and saw that, indeed, Minho had daggers in his eyes. "You're very invested in this." you laughed.

"Oh shit." Jeongin muttered, suddenly trying to hide behind you.

"What is it?"

He pointed somewhere and you met eyes with a girl walking alongside Chan and Sora. She was visibly uncomfortable and sticking closely to Sora. The latter was as clingy to Chan.

"Who's this?" you asked.

"Youngmi. She lives in the same building as me and she is the embodiment of ethereal, if you want my opinion."

You exploded in laughter as you started to tease the young man who couldn't help but pout as his face turned red. "Looks like Innie has a little crush."

"Say it any louder please." he joked. "I don't know, I saw her a few times and she gets all flustered when she sees someone she doesn't know. It's cute."

Eyes still on the trio, Chan caught you staring and sent you a wave as he smiled. He tugged Sora's side, arguing for a bit, before he dragged the two girls with him. Soon enough, they were standing in front of you and Jeongin. By then, Jeongin had frozen completely as Youngmi said a small "hey" to him. Freshmen love...

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan said, already in the motion of sitting down.

"Go ahead." you gestured the seats.

While he positioned himself on the chair happily, Sora seemed unsure in following her friend's actions. Nonetheless, she sat down and started to eat in silence as Jeongin and Chan exchanged in a calm conversation. You noticed she glanced at you a couple of times, but you ignored her. She also seemed to drift her eyes towards Minho's table, almost as if she was looking for help. The girl had always been nice to you. Although you wouldn't consider her as a friend, she had grown distant to you for the past weeks and you had a good idea as to why. You weren't blind, you saw how infatuated she was with Chan and you were not planning on ruining what was going on between them. However, consciously or not, she was visibly starting to see you as a threat.

"I talked with Mrs. Ko." Chan suddenly addressed to you.

"About?" you said while taking a spoonful of your soup.

"About you."

You choked on your food, coughing loudly in the process as your throat started to burn. Jeongin patted your back in a soothing way as an attempt to relieve your pain. Sora, on the other hand, was quick to pull out a napkin to clean the small mess you had made.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" you asked once you had recovered from choking.

Chan laughed nervously. "She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

At this, you exploded in laughter, Sora too. You weren't sure on why she was doing so, but you were laughing because you didn't think a tutor was necessary, even less it being Chan.

"What's funny?" he turned to the youngest pair at the table.

Jeongin shrugged. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." You groaned at his words, throwing your head back in frustration. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

"Come on, Chan. We're barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself."

"Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing."

You looked at Sora in search of any help, but she shrugged her shoulders and went back to her conversation with Youngmi.

"I'll think about it..."

"Think about it?" Dahye yelled out making you block your ears for how loud she was being. "Why would you think about it? You've got the hot senior offering personal tutoring sessions and you say no? Are you dumb or are you dumb?"

You sighed loudly and let yourself fall on your bed. "I don't need tutoring, alright?"

"Sure, you don't." she rolled her eyes and went to grab her bag.

"You're going somewhere?" you lifted your head up.

"Yeah, to the coffee shop. Do you want to tag along?"

"I would but I have a shift starting soon."

She waved you goodbye and you were left alone in the room. Taking this as a good time to revise your notes for your upcoming exam while waiting for your shift to start, you pulled out your lecture book and flipped through the pages. Your eyes were reading, but your brain couldn't seem to actually understand what was written. You tried with the next chapter, but the results were the same. Time was passing quickly so you brought the book with you to the convenience store.

When you walked in, Jeongin was already there on his phone, yawning out of boredom. The store was empty so you assumed it was a slow evening. You punched in and joined the boy at the counter. You dropped the manuel in front of you and Jeongin's expression went surprised as he saw the thickness of your book.

"What the hell do you study in this?"

"Sound stuff." you breathed out as you opened it, going back to the chapter you were previously analyzing.

"Isn't it the class that Chan said he could help you with?"

"Precisely." you hummed, not taking your eyes off the page.

He stopped questioning and went back to his game. The shift continued like this, in silence, with a couple of customers coming in once in a while. Still, there was barely anyone so the both of you eventually grew bored of studying and playing. Jeongin brought two stools from the back of the store so you could sit instead of standing up for the remaining two hours you had left.

"Do you have an exam soon?" he asked.

"Just a small quiz that is not worth much. I'd say I'm more worried about the final exam. I don't mind not getting A marks, but from what I read, I don't understand shit. Maybe Chan was right after all..." you admitted shamelessly.

He laughed at your words. "I knew you would say that sooner or later." You gave him a look, which only made him laugh more. "It's okay asking for help. And I swear Chan is a good teacher, he helped me with statistics once."

"I'll see. I might not ask him, though, Have you seen Sora the other day? I could swear she wanted to decapitate me just because Chan said one word to me."

"That's Sora for you. She's just protective of him. I don't talk to her much other than about Youngmi so I can't say how she is really." he shrugged and went to the slushie machine to make himself one.

"Ah, right. Your little crush on Youngmi." you chuckled. "How is that going for you?"

"You'd be surprised. I actually talked with her. She was having a hard time so I comforted her." he said proudly before slurping on his drink.

"I am impressed." you clapped your hands silently. "I bet she needs someone like you around."

The conversation was interrupted when Chan walked in the store, accompanied by Minho. They were seemingly disagreeing on something as Minho was rambling on with incoherent words. He stopped when he noticed that Chan was no longer listening, but was staring right at you instead.

"Hey." he coughed, once he realized he had been looking for a little too long. "I didn't know you work here."

"Yeah, been here since the beginning of school pretty much."

He made an 'o' shape with his mouth as he nodded before walking through the aisles. Minho walked behind him and started his rant again.

"This is a good time to ask him about the tutoring." Jeongin shot at you.

Your eyes widened to him. "Are you crazy? I said I'm not asking him."

"Why? Because you're scared of Sora?" he joked, but your face remained serious. "Oh shit, you are."

"I don't want her to think I'm stealing her man, that's all."

"So you're stealing Chan?"

You huffed. "No, of course not."

"He's not her man, anyway. Plus, he's the one who offered. Just tell him."

"No."

"Yes."

"Jeongin..."

"Tell him."

"Tell who what?"

You jumped at the sudden voice, almost letting out a yell until you noticed the two older men putting their purchases on the counter. Chan's look switched between Jeongin and you, waiting for you to answer.

"Yeah, Y/N. Tell who what?" Jeongin snickered as he leaned back, arms crossed and a proud look on his face.

You sent him a glare, but answered nonetheless. "Ask you about this tutoring thing..." you mumbled barely loud enough to be heard.

From Chan's grin, though, he had clearly heard you perfectly. "So you made up your mind?"

"It's not like I have a choice, really. I've been over the same five pages for hours and still don't understand shit."

While you continued your chat with him, Jeongin scanned their articles and made Minho pay as they were in a discussion of their own. Chan talked about how the tutoring would work, how you didn't have to pay for anything since the teacher was already doing so, how he wasn't going to give you homework other than some tests here and there to make sure you were following along.

"I won't remember all of this tomorrow." you laughed.

Chan immediately reached for his phone and put it in front if you. "Give me your number."

You raised an eyebrow, suspicious. "You're very straightforward."

"No, dummy." he chuckled. "So I can send you the information and plan out a lesson."

"Ah." you cough embarrassingly. "Right."

They left the store after you typed in your phone number in his phone. Unconsciously, Chan was still staring at your contact information, a silly smile that reached his ears on his face.

"Dude." Minho nudged his arm. "It won't disappear on its own." he mocked his friend.

Chan grumbled some curses to him and put back his phone in his pocket. They went back to his place for their usual hangout of the week and Changbin, his roommate, had already prepared a game while waiting for them to come back. At the coffee table, Minho sat next to Sora and Chan went to the dining room to pull out their groceries. Changbin's friend, Chunhwa, had been invited and helped the man to bring the food to everyone.

"Where is Jisung?" Minho asked, taking a sip of the soup Chunhwa had placed in front of him.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin shrugged as he took the spot next to Chunhwa.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." Sora commented and everyone around agreed.

"You're one to say that." Minho joked as the girl hit him, but Chan didn't get it.

Was she helping out her crush to get over someone too? If so, why didn't she tell him about it? Yes, Chan was that oblivious. Being too busy mothering his younger friends and with school, the least of his worries was romance. He did think of it from time to time, but he's always seen it as something for later.

"Alright, I'm blue this time!" Changbin announced as he picked up a pawn in the said-colour.

"I wanted blue." Chunhwa pouted and the man was quick to give it up for her.

"I'll be green, then." he sighed.

Sora and Chan exchanged knowing looks as the girl picked their usual colours, red and white. They started their game while eating and sharing laughs. Unlike others, the group preferred spending quality time instead of drinking until they blacked out. They would party, of course, but not as often as other college students. As the board game went on, Chan clapped his hands together and turned to talk with Sora.

"I talked with Y/N."

"And?" she said with a frown, moving her pawn on the board.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would." he grinned.

Her reaction wasn't much what he had expected from his friend. Instead of joy, she looked sad, hurt almost.

"That's great." she forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." she nodded slowly her head. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho, do you mind helping me get some medecine?"

Minho stood up immediately, reaching a hand to help her get up. "No, of course."

Chan frowned. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." she interrupted. "I'm okay, really. Thanks." she gave him that same sad smile before Minho led her out of the room.

Silence remained while it was Chunhwa's turn to play. She and Changbin were giving each other looks, something Chan couldn't exactly make out. Seeing that they were in their own world and that they had to wait for Sora to be back to continue on with their game, Chan took his phone out as he grew bored. The moment he opened it, your contact information was displayed on his screen, once again. For some reason, he instinctively clicked to open the message app.

Chan: Hey, it's Chan! I hope you gave me the right number, haha.

Y/N: Hey! Yeah it's me, haha. I didn't expect you to reach out so soon.

Chan: Me neither, to be honest. I thought about our arrangement and it can be twice a week if you'd like that instead of just during class period.

Y/N: Hmm, I'll have to check my schedule but yeah, it should be fine.

Chan: Great! I won't bother you for much longer now.

Y/N: You're not bothering, I swear. :)

Chan: Good. :) I'll let you know when we can start.

Y/N: All good. Good night!

Chan: Night. :)

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." Sora announced as she entered the room, Minho following behind.

"This early?" Chan said, putting his phone away.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." she smiled, guilt seen on her face.

Chan stood up and joined her at the front door. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

She shook her head. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he said unsurely, hugging her tight. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" she waved at the remaining pair before her and Minho took off.

Chan was still frowning at her weird behaviour, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she had a bad day. The weirdest part was how she stuck to Minho since they never were this close with each other. It might have changed without his knowledge. He went to help Changbin out with cleaning up and wash the dishes, Chunhwa tagging along.

"Do you mind if she stays the night?" Changbin asked.

"No, it's alright." Chan replied as he gathered his things to head to bed.

Locking himself in his room, he let out a long sigh before snuggling himself under his covers. Opening his phone, he saw your name lit up. He smiled immediately.

Y/N: Can't sleep. I thought this meme would make you smile when you wake up.

As the lessons kept going, you grew fond of Chan. He was nothing but respectful to you and was treating you like a princess, almost. He would always bring snacks, take breaks after some time to make sure you are not too tired, and he was insanely funny. He had started to be more attentive to your needs recently, and you could not help but hope he might like you as much as you liked him. But this was not possible, right?

You scrunched your nose as you listened to Chan explaining the material for a third time. You were amazed at how patient he had been with you. Your eighth lesson together and, yet, you still had no clue about anything in this course. Frankly speaking, you wanted to drop out, but Chan had insisted you continue with some speech about determination and shit. The coffee shop his friend, Seungmin, worked at was a cozy spot for your sessions. However, you had learnt Dahye's crush was the barista and she would almost always be there, trying to get his attention. It was close to sad to watch.

"I'm sorry, I really don't get it." you grunted, rubbing your face with your hands.

"Hey, it's fine. I know it can be hard to comprehend properly." he tried to reassure you while patting your back.

"You don't get it. If I want to make my own music, I should be able to understand, right? I suck." you grunted dramatically.

"Woah, there. How about I show you some concrete examples instead? I think it'd be easier for you." he suggested but you were still confused.

"Examples? We have the teacher's already."

"Yeah, uh, I could make you listen some of my tracks." he laughed out shyly.

"Your own tracks?" you exclaimed in surprised, eyes wide open. "Well, thinking about it, it makes sense you make your own music. Still, I didn't know."

"Yeah, I don't go around telling people." he added, blushing again. "I could show you right now, actually. Do you have something planned after this?"

You opened your agenda and scanned through your schedule. Your empty schedule. "No, the rest of my day is clear."

"Can I invite you over? My music stuff is in my room."

While the idea seemed appealing, you weren't convinced it was safe. Chan was a handsome man, and although you had grown closer with him, he could still be a fuckboy for all you know. The main reason, though, was that Sora would probably hear about it and you didn't want to hurt the girl by going over to her friend's apartment. Still, it was in the context of a class you were very much failing. At this point, you would take anything if it meant it would make you pass.

"Okay."

His own dorm wasn't far from yours. The walk to there was quick and you were standing in his kitchen before you knew it. It was neat for a boys apartment. Some exercise machines were installed, unsurprisingly since him and Changbin were visibly working out. There were a few takeout bags on the table as they would rarely cook themselves, but otherwise, it was one of the cleanest places you had seen.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked, opening his refrigerator to serve himself a glass of water.

"Not for now, thanks." you smiled.

Chan led you to his room that was as clean as the rest of the dorm. He had made himself a work space for his music. On his desk, there were two monitors standing with a mixing console. He had placed a piano keyboard in the corner and a few different headphones were laying around the table. Right next to the desk was a microphone along with its isolation shield. He had a very good setup, you were almost jealous of it.

"This is amazing." you breathed out. "This stuff is brand new!"

"I saved a lot for it." he said, sitting down on his chair. He pulled his other one towards you. "Sit down, I wanna show you something."

You did as told and he started to look into his files, scrolling through them attentively. He spotted one and clicked on it. He waited a moment before playing it to give you time to put his headphones on. Once he started it, the track's intro started out beautifully. It had a soft melody, but it slowly turned into a more upbeat sound. The beat build up, until it dropped and you would lie if you said you didn't feel goosebumps at that moment. When it ended, you took the headphones off and stared at him in shock.

"You've got some freaking talent. I'm speechless, really."

"Thank you." he mumbled and blushed. "I'll play it again and I want you to pay attention to the different notes and sounds. Cover one ear only, I'll explain as it plays. Listen carefully."

Replaying it, he pointed out sounds and paused to explain. He did this for the next 40 minutes or so and, surprisingly enough, you had finally understood the material. It shocked you how easily you got it only from a few tracks made by Chan himself. His talent was undeniable and, if anything, it only made him more attractive to you.

"What is this one?" you said as you moved the cursor to a specific file.

"No not this-" Too late, you had already started to play it on his speakers. "... one." he finished his sentence in a whisper.

The ballad was powerful, and his lyrics were more relatable than you'd like them to be. So far, he had put only instrumental tracks. Needless to say you were dumbfounded by his voice. You were deep into the song, until Chan took the mouse from you and paused it.

"Hey!" you pouted.

"It's a pretty personal one." he justified, avoiding your eyes.

"Yeah, the lyrics are rough. I think it's beautiful. Sorry that I listened to it when you didn't want me to." you apologized sincerely.

"You think it's beautiful? I think it's a bit much."

"Not at all!" you argued. "I love it, really."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence filled the room, small tension building up. To wash it away, Chan clicked on a new file. It was a ballad, but it was much softer this time. He stood up from his chair and extended a hand to you. You looked at it suspisciously.

"What?"

"May I have this dance?" he said in a funny tone.

"Cringe." you huffed.

"Come on, you deserve a little break."

"And I dance like shit." you deadpanned at him.

"Do you trust me?"

You found it ridiculous, and cheesy. Without protesting, you still took his hand and he held you by the waist, swaying from side to side. You were uneasy at first, but grew more comfortable as he continued to guide your moves along the music. At some point, you hadn't realized how close your bodies were getting until you could feel his fast heartbeat with your head against his chest. You looked up at him and he already had his eyes on you. While this felt wrong, it was a feeling of safety. Before you could speak, the music changed to another one of his tracks, a more funny beat this time. You detached yourself from him and tried to find something to say quickly to ignore the moment you just shared.

"You make a lot of different genres." was all you could find to say.

It seemed to work as Chan started to tell you about his experimenting to find what style he liked better and which one fitted him the best. Eventually, the conversation drifted to a casual talk, learning more about each other. After listening to more of his songs, he had offered you to stay for dinner, but you refused. He had already made you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, you didn't know what was going to happen if you stayed any longer.

"You have everything?" he asked as he led you to his front door.

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you for today, it feels great to finally understand this stupid class."

He laughed before bring you into a hug. "Good. Tell me how the exam goes?"

"Of course."

When you were about to turn the doorknob, the door opened on its own. There she was, Sora, standing in the entrance with her eyes locked on you. You immediately felt like you got caught in the middle of a crime, although you had done nothing.

"Y/N." she said in a warm tone, making you feel bad how sweet she was still to you even though you knew how it must hurt her to see you with Chan.

"Hi, Sora. I was just leaving." You turned to Chan to give him one last smile. "See you, Chan!"

You didn't let him answer and left the place immediately. You were grateful for his help with the class. But now, you were stuck with guilt, longing, and a crush on a man who was already taken by a wonderful girl. You were fucked.

Ding.

"Anyway, so I came home and-"

Ding.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N. Just answer him." Jeongin whined.

"No." you said firmly. "So, as I was saying, I had just gotten home and-"

Ding.

You shut your eyes at the annoying notification sound. You had stopped your lessons with him unexpectedly when you realized you could be ruining a lifelong friendship. Plus, it would surprise you if he reciprocated even a tiny bit of your feelings. You told him you didn't need his help anymore and that you would rather focus on your other classes for now. He was understanding, of course, but you had stopped replying to his daily memes. He asked you if something was wrong, but you didn't answer. You had skipped the next sound art class to avoid him and had not left your room much since.

"Answer him." Jeongin whined again, louder this time.

"No!"

"He's my friend too, you know? I can just tell him how you're scared of your feelings." he threatened.

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me." he challenged you.

Ding.

You groaned and checked your phone and saw that, this time, it was a reminder that your shift was ending earlier for you to go do your exam. "I need to go. Cover for me?"

"Yeah, yeah." Jeongin rolled his eyes.

"And you better not talk to Chan."

"No promise." he grinned and you sent him a glare before taking off to head to class.

You bumped into a depressed looking Jisung when you walked in. He greeted you poorly, eyebags under his eyes and lazy movement. You would have asked if he was okay if it wasn't your final exam. Having studied like never before (and thanks to Chan's help, but we do not mention him at the moment), you felt quite ready, though your stress level was at its peak.

The questionnaire was filled with practice exercices and multiple choices. The teacher played sounds through the speakers for you to identify and describe them. You were baffled at how good you were doing, so good that you were among the first people to finish. Jisung was done not so long after you, so you walked out together, telling each other how you did on the exam.

"By the way, I wanted to make sure you are doing okay. You don't look so good to me, no offense."

He looked at his feet. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just..." He hesitated a little since you weren't close to him much, but at this point he didn't care. "Hwayoung and I fought and there is Chan's party tonight. I know she's going but I'm not sure if I want to face her yet."

"You should go."

His face lit up at your words. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You two are practically inseparable from what I see. I think it'll be a shame to not try to fix things up."

"You have a point..." he said and thought for a second. "Alright, I'll go. Are you coming, too?"

While his situation was very different from yours, it did have some similarities. You had briefly seen a message from Chan, inviting you to his party, but you didn't want to face him. Dahye had begged you to come, saying she would want at least a friend around since Byeol would most likely not be going. So when you thought about it for a moment, it might be a good moment for you to talk things out with Chan.

"I guess I can stop by."

When you arrived home, Dahye was nowhere to be seen. You noticed a note on your desk and she wrote that she went to Seungmin's to get prepared. Looks like you were going to get ready alone. Rummaging through your clothes, you picked out a nice short-sleeved shirt with a skirt to match with it. You didn't put on much makeup, nor did you do anything extravagant with your hair.

Jeongin: Dude, Jisung told me you are coming tonight?

Y/N: Yes, sir.

Jeongin: Youngmi is going and I was planning to confess. I need your emotional support.

Y/N: If you'll be my emotional support to talk with Chan, then yes I'll help you.

Jeongin: Deal! But for real, Jisung convinces you to come in two seconds and not me? Offended...

You could only laugh at the texts. You grabbed your belongings and walked out of your dorm, heading to Chan's. After a small ten-minute walk, you were standing in front of his door, nervous. You had not even thought of letting him know you were coming, you just showed up. Anyhow, you knocked on the door and waited for someone to let you in. Some time after, Changbin happily welcomed you in, showing you where the snacks, the drinks and the bathroom were. After thanking him for his kindness, you parted ways with him to join Jeongin. To your surprise, he was already talking with Youngmi and they seemed to be doing just fine. Jisung was there too, but he kept looking at his phone every once in a while, seemingly waiting for a text.

"Am I late?" you asked and Jisung shook his head.

"We pretty much all came in advance. Minho, Hyunjin, Byeol, Hyunjoo and Felix are missing." he shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

The room was already filled with some people from your classes, and others you had never seen before. You scanned the room as you tried to spot Chan, but your eyes stopped on Sora instead. She was setting the food on the table alone, so you decided to go see her, trying to make your way through the crowd. Once you reached her, you realized she wasn't alone. Chan was giggling with her about something as he was setting bowls of chips on the table. It took them a few seconds to notice you and greet you sweetly.

"HI! Y/N, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan rambled on cutely.

He was interrupted when Sora kicked his rib with her elbow before smiling at you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Of course not!" they both hurried to deny.

"I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" Chan set his eyes on you, and left.

You were now alone with Sora as she went on with preparing the snacks. You offered to help, but she didn't let you. You weren't sure what to say exactly which caused a small silence to grow. Luckily, she was more talkative than you were.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

Her words hurt you more than you'd ever admit, but she was right. "It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons."

She shook her head to shush you. "I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." she trailed off before taking a deep breath. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Frankly, you did not know how to answer. You were lost on why she was telling you all of this. You only registered the parts where she said he liked you, that she liked him, and that she didn't want things to be hurting anyone.

"I came here to fix things with him." you said after thinking of your words. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Sora. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

You didn't even let her speak again, and left the party immediately. You felt your mind getting fuzzier and you couldn't think straight about this whole situation, you just wanted out. Among the pack of people, you kept on bumping into one person to another, apologizing constantly. You ended up bumping into Chan, to your luck. You didn't want to talk with him anymore, so you hurried to walk out, but he was quick to recognize you and stop you by grabbing you by the arm.

"You're leaving already?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm not in the mood for a party that much." you made an excuse up on the spot.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Gosh, Chan. Stop acting like you care so much." you snapped at him, which made him let go of your arm. "Sora's waiting for you in the kitchen if you are wondering."

On that note, you left him standing alone, baffled and confused, and you head back home as tears built up in your eyes.

Dahye had invited you and Byeol for a little trip to the beach not even two days after the end of the semester. Before going back home for the summer and to avoid any possible interaction with Chan, you had gladly accepted. You were going to stay there for a couple of days only, but long enough to be enjoying the nice weather and the water.

While you were laying on the sand to enjoy the natural light, Byeol pulled out her phone to show you her messages with her boyfriend, Hyunjin. He was being a dramatic lover, telling her to not stay out in the sun for too long, to eat properly and to send him lots of pictures because he missed her. You were more than happy for her, but your heart stung. Chan had tried to reach out, obviously. This time, you had the courage to mute his contact and completely ignore him. You didn't have the strength to block him just yet. Maybe you were still hoping for something to happen with him.

"He said he'll paint the pictures of the sea that I sent him." Byeol commented, all smiley, as she put her phone away.

"That's adorable." Dahye said in a dreamy tone. "Although I would probably cringe if Seungmin pulled one like this on me."

The girls exchanged laughs and continued to chitchat about their romantic moments. Your mind wasn't fully there and you had issues concentrating properly. Eventually, the girls noticed and called your name to snap you out of your thoughts.

"Is it about Chan?" Dahye dared to ask, and Byeol gave her a look.

"Kind of? I should stop thinking about it. He's got Sora so everything is fine." you forced a smiled, but it didn't convince your friends.

"You should have talked to him. He fought with her that night." Dahye said, putting her hand on your shoulder. "And he thought of knocking at our dorm, but he chickened out."

You looked at her blankly and blinked slowly. "You didn't tell me this."

"It's not my place to do so. I'm sure he tried to tell you, but you've been quite ignorant towards him." she shrugged and from seeing your reaction, she knew she had to do something about it. "Look, just enjoy our time here for now and worry about this later, okay? Chan can wait a couple of days."

You nodded, agreeing that you were here to relax and enjoy, and not to fall into self-pity for the rest of your summer. Decisively, you repositioned yourself comfortably on your towel and did nothing but let yourself go with the sea breeze.

That night, Byeol and Dahye went to some fancy restaurant together close to the hotel you were staying at. You would have come too, but you wanted to go explore the neighbourhood instead. So after they left, you brought your camera with you to take some pictures around. It came to your mind that you could develop them and make a nice framed collage to hang in your room as a memory. With everything in your bag, you left the hotel and started your evening with walking in a park nearby. The trees were decorated with lights as well as the path. You snapped some photos, but upon seeing so many couples, you decided to change scenery.

A couple of streets away was an old-fashioned part of the town. There were many local shops opened and you took the time to stop at some of them, notably a small bakery. The woman was so sweet that she gifted you some cupcakes, not forgetting to compliment you on how beautiful she thought you were. Thanking her, you took the cupcakes from her and walked out of the store.

"She's not wrong, you know?"

You froze at the voice, sounding too much like a man you had grown to love over the past months. Uncertain if it was your mind tricking you, you turned around to come face to face with the one and only Chan. There he was in one of his many black attires and he had seemingly just stepped out of the bakery as well.

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you're stalking me." you joked once you had collected yourself.

"I would never." he huffed. "But I did ask some help from Dahye to have some time with you."

It was your turn to scoff. "You're unbelievable."

"I know, babygirl." he smirked and you would have punched in the air right then from how the butterflies he sent you made you internally squeal. "Mind if I take this stroll with you?"

"I do mind." you refused while you were actually dying to go on a romantic walk with him.

"I thought you trusted me enough." he acted offended and you let out a laugh, still not believing he was right in front of you. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Trust me?"

Lacking a response, you stuttered out incoherent words. Wanting to hide from embarrassment, you shut your eyes and turned on your wheels to go on with your walk. Chan was, however, determined to not let you get away again, so he ran to catch up on you.

"So..." he started, but you were still refusing to glance at him. "I think we should talk."

"How's Sora?" you asked nonchalantly.

"Y/N, can you not bring her up for once? She told me what you two talked about at the party. Wasn't she clear enough when she said I like you?"

Stopping on your tracks, you finally dared to look at him and you regretted it immediately. His eyes reflected nothing but despair, sadness and lust.

"She was trying to-" you started but he cut you off quickly.

"Everything she said was true. Except for the part that we would hurt each other." he took your hand in his and you wanted so bad to squeeze it back, but you couldn't find the strength to do so. "The first time I read your lyrics, I knew you would become someone dear to me. You're as passionate about music as I am, you are easy to talk to, although I would debate on that with how you had ghosted me. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want you to push me away anymore, because I like you a lot."

"What about So-"

He laughed as to to interrupt you again. You were stubborn, for sure. "She's been involved with Minho for some time, she's got nothing to do with all of this."

He hesiated, but took a step forward to put his hand on your cheek. You had never seen him blush so hard and it was one heck of a cute sight. He brought your face closer and you leaned into his touch, foreheads now grazing against each other.

"I'm sorry." you finally spoke in a soft tone.

"Don't be sorry, just don't run away again."

"I won't."

That's all Chan wanted to hear. After containing himself since the moment he saw you in the bakery, he gave in and kissed you passionately. It had so much emotion and feelings into it. You could feel his sincerity only through his touch and it was enough for you to cry, but out of joy this time. He rubbed his thumb on your cheek to dry your tears off and pulled you closer to him. The scene could not have been more perfect. You were kissing your goddamn crush in the middle of a cute lively neighbourhood in the evening with the smell of cupcakes surrounding you. You eventually detached from each other, but still remained close.

"I assume this means you like me too?" Chan chuckled.

"Very much so, yes." you smiled.

"Can I take you out on a date?" he asked shyly and you sent him a smirk.

"This stroll you wanted earlier can be it."

He smiled like a child at your words and laid a kiss on the top of your head. "Sounds good to me."

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids series #stray kids scenarios #stray kids college au #stray kids bang chan #bang chan x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fluff #bang chan college au #stray kids your eyes

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itstorimf · 1 year

Text

risky, risky, risky - professor!dad!chan x female reader

chapter four: "Can you call me Chan instead?"

word count: 3.8K

warnings: SMUT (oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, name calling (baby and princess), praise?), foul language, age gap, mentions of death, children?

TAGLIST IS OPEN hehe

series masterlist

*written in Chris' POV*

Once my class had ended, I pulled out my phone and texted Jisung. I think I was just in so much shock from seeing Y/N again that I needed to tell someone! Changbin also felt the need to be a part of the fun.

They both proved to be nearly no help at all, so I sat in my classroom and took a deep breath. I recalled the last time I saw her. It felt so naughty to be thinking about my student that way, but I couldn't help it. It was wrong and yet all I wanted was to see her again. I thought that the note she had written for me was the last time I would ever hear from her again, but the universe seemed to have different plans. I was broken from my trance when I heard someone clear their throat, another student who had come in with questions about my homework policy.

I was in a complete daze in the other two classes that I had that day, completely shaken by my encounter with Y/N. Had I taken it too far after class? Would I lose my job because of our previous encounter? Surely I would be fine, but I couldn't help but worry. After all of my classes had ended for the day, thank God, I grabbed my bag and left, leaving to pick up Leo from his daycare.

"Daddy!" I heard my little boy yell as I made my way up tp the door. He jumped into my arms and threw his arms around my neck. We walked back to the car and I put him into his carseat.

"Were you a good boy today, Leo?" I asked with a smile on my face, buckling him in. Being around my son always put me in a good mood, no matter how shit my day had been.

"Mhmm," he responded with a smile. He was my spitting image, with some of his mother sprinkled in of course, but when he smiled two dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"Well then, I think good boys deserve some sweets! Would you like that, Leo?" Honestly, I think I needed something sweet myself to cheer myself up. Or a reward for actually making it through the day.

"Yes please Daddy!" Leo responded with a giggle. With that we drove to a little cafe on our way home.

*written in Y/N's POV*

The day seemed to go by a lot smoother after Wonnie and I got home.She insisted I watched a movie with her before I got ready for my closing shift at Chill. We finished some cheesy movie about two strangers that meet one day at a coffee shop and fall in love so easily. It honestly left a bad taste in my mouth. Nothing happens that easily, not without consequences at least. My mind wandered and thought about Chris every so often. What would it be like to fall in love with him? Maybe I would let myself if the circumstances weren't as complicated as they were. I had almost forgotten how attractive he was until I saw him again today.I don't know what image was hotter, the laid-back version of Chris that I met at Venom, or the put-together professional Chris that I was in the classroom. I physically shuttered at the idea that I was thinking about my professor this way, but I couldn't help it. He was hot, as fuck!

"You okay over there?" Wonyoung asked as she saw me shiver. Had she seen me zoning out this entire time?

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna shower before work," I announced as I threw the blanket off of me and got up from the couch. Wonnie said nothing else, just side-eyed me as I walked to the bathroom.

I got ready, putting on my uniform and throwing my hair into a high ponytail. I blew Wonnie a kiss before leaving the apartment and walked to Chill. I enjoyed walking to work most of the time, but today my mind couldn't seem to sit still. The walk, that's only usually 10 minutes, seemed so much longer today. How would I face him for the rest of the year without wanting to tear his clothes off? I pushed all of my thoughts aside as I walked into the cafe.

Work was annoyingly slow today, only a couple of students coming in here and there to study, but not nearly enough people came in to keep my attention. As I was sitting behind the register, I started doodling on a napkin that was just sitting there. I was interrupted when I heard the sound of the bell on the door, announcing that someone was here. I looked up from the napkin and there he was, YET AGAIN. Only this time, he had a little human attached to his side. My eyes widened in realization.

"H-hi wh-what can I g-get you both today?" I stuttered. Sure, my confidence had gone up over the Summer, but my past hook up slash current college professor walked into my place of work holding hands with a child. I tried to recall the night we met, and I don't think I remembered seeing a ring on his finger, but the child attached him wasn't comforting. He looked equally as uncomfortable with the fact that we were face to face for the second time today.

"Um.. just two small strawberry smoothies please?" He asked not breaking eye contact with me.

"I have waffle too please, Daddy?" the little one now in his arms asked. He looked just like Chris, just a smaller version. The child even had his dimples. Clearly his child by the whole 'Daddy' thing. He was pointing at the waffle in the pastry case next to the register.

"Sure. One waffle too, but plain please," he said putting his son down to reach for his wallet.

"You got it, but don't worry about paying, Mr. Bang," I said. I had already voided the order seeing as I was going to have to make it myself.

"Chris. Please. The whole Mr. Bang thing feels a little weird coming from you," he said with a smile, an uncomfortable smile, but a smile nonetheless. We were just two people. No classroom, no weird power dynamics, no alcohol in our systems and heavy bass influencing our decisions. Just two normal people again, meeting in a coffee shop. How cliche.

"Well, Chris, consider it an apology for my attitude earlier," I handed him a number and he walked over to a table near the corner, pulling the seat closer so he could sit next to the kid. I made their order pretty quickly seeing as there wasn't anyone after them in line and walked it over to their table.

"Uh thank you. Y/N this is my son, Leo. Can you say hi to Y/N, bud?" he said as I placed down their drinks and food.

"Hi Y/N!" Leo greeted, not really paying attention. Instead he was going to town on that waffle.

"Sorry. Waffles are kinda his thing right now," he said as he patted his son's head gently.

"No that's okay. Hi Leo!" I responded. "Enjoy. I have some cleaning that I need to do anyway," I stated as I started to walk away.

"Is your break soon?" he asked, and honestly, I was taken a bit back.

"It can be I guess. There really isn't anyone in here except for me. I can sit for a bit until someone comes in," I responded. Sitting here with Chris and Leo sounded a lot more exciting than wiping down the counter for the millionth time. He pulled up another chair and I sat across from him next to Leo. I learned that Leo had just turned three and that they both moved into the city a little over a year ago. "So what brought you here then?" I asked him.

"Well, mainly the job, but Leo's mum passed away a little before that, so it felt like a good opportunity to start over, I guess?" he responded. There wasn't a hint of discomfort in his tone, so I guessed that this was something he was comfortable talking about. I still felt super guilty for prompting him to tell me about his dead wife.

"I'm sorry, Chris. I had no idea," I immediately apologized.

"No, seriously its okay. It's gotten a lot easier since we moved here," he said with a smile, patting Leo's head gently again. "We should probably get going soon. I didn't see any other cars outside. Did you take an Uber here?" he asked me.

"Oh! Uh no I usually walk home after work," I responded already starting to clear the table we were sitting at.

"Y/N! Its already dark outside! I'll be back when you close," Chris responded.

"Chris, I live down the block its really not a-" I was cut off by his insisting.

"I will be back when you close," he said again, giving me a look that literally made my knees go weak. "It would truly be a shame not to see you in class on Thursday because you got kidnapped by some creep," he continued with a smile. This felt like a line that shouldn't be crossed. Given the history we already had, getting into a car with him alone felt like a trap, but I couldn't say no. I don't think he would've even let me if I tried.

"What about Leo?" He'll more than likely be asleep by then, which mean that Chris would have to take Leo with him or find a sitter for an hour.

"Don't worry about it. You're not walking home, Y/N," he finished as he was walking out of the door, a sleepy Leo in his arms.

The rest of my shift was severely uneventful. Only a few more customers coming in for some post dinner sweets. I closed up shop like usual and looked outside to see a black car parked in the row closest to the door. Out walked Chris, dressed in a hoodie, black gym shorts, and a beanie covering his hair. I thought to myself, 'so this is what casual Christopher is like?' and honestly he looked just as good as he did this morning. He leaned against the hood of his car and waited for me to walk out. I looked around to make sure I didn't miss anything, locked the front door, and walked towards him.

"Miss Y/LN," he announced as he opened the passenger side car door for me.

"Thank you for offering me a ride home, Chris," I said as I buckled my seat belt.

"Listen, I know I told you to call me Chris, but can you call me Chan instead? Chris still seems a little too professional," he said looking over at me. The source of light being the lamp post in the parking lot. It highlighted his features in the most disgustingly beautiful way, like a scene from a movie.

"Okay, Chan. Well, thank you for taking me home," I thanked again. He started his car and started driving. I gave him directions to the apartment and we were there in a matter of minutes. "See, I told you this was completely unnecessary," I said giving him a smile. We locked eyes, and for a moment it felt like the night we met. Yet again, just two regular people, sitting in a car under the dim light of the street lights outside. His eyes flickered to my lips and I mimicked his action. We inched closer to each other, leaning over the center console. I closed my eyes and felt his lips brush against mine. He wasn't initiating anything, almost as if he was asking me for permission to kiss me. I took control and kissed him first. He immediately reciprocated the gesture and kissed me back. It was delicate at first, almost like he was afraid I'd disappear if he kissed me too hard, but I wanted so much more. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck to pull him closer, and he lifted me from the passenger seat and onto his lap. He swiped his tongue along my lips, begging for the kiss to deepen. It went from being an innocent kiss goodnight, to a full on heated make out session in a matter of seconds. "Do you want to come inside?" I asked boldly. I didn't want this to end here. "My roommate is staying at her boyfriend's place tonight," I offered. He nodded and we rushed inside.

*smut starts now, so if you're uncomfy with that, stop here and continue reading when you see bold text again. all you gotta know is that they had sex lol*

I practically slammed the front door shut and walked over to my room, Chan following close behind me. When we got into my room, I turned around and was greeted my Chan's lustful gaze. "Jump," he demanded and I did just that. He pinned me against the wall still carrying me, kissing me with an intensity that put my stomach in knots. He turned around and set me on the edge of my bed. Chan swiftly took his shirt off and I followed suit. I admired his toned abs for a moment before he grabbed the top hem of my pants pulling them down. He kneeled down and spread my legs apart looking and my clothed center. I could literally feel myself pulsing wanting to feel him inside of me. He pushed my panties to the side and stuck his finger inside of me and curled them upward, slowly pumping his digits against just the right spot. "Channie, more please," I said in between moans.

"Channie huh? Well, since you said please," before I could say anything else, he pulled my panties down and threw them to the other side of the room. He stopped for a second, looking at my aching core, licking his lips in anticipation. He spread my legs further and used his fingers to spread my lips apart. Finally, he attached his mouth on my clit, switching between sucking and licking the overly sensitive bud. Every so often he would hum, causing my stomach to twist harder and harder.

"Fuck I'm so fucking close Chan," I moaned as I arched my back, unable to keep myself still from the pure euphoria my body was feeling.

"Cum on my face baby," he urged. Unable to hold back, I felt myself let go, cumming onto Chan's mouth.

He got up from the the edge of my bed and met my lips in a needy kiss. I could taste my own arousal on his mouth and blushed slightly in embarrassment. He reached behind me and unclasped my bra, throwing it to wherever he threw my underwear. I covered myself with my hands.

"C'mon baby. It's nothing I haven't already seen," he said with a smirk, pinning my arms to the sides of my head. He took his time kissing my neck and my eyes rolled back in pleasure. I craved the feeling of his dick inside of me. As if he read my mind, he got up for a second to unbutton his black jeans, his boxers following after. Chan's cock, already swelling and hard, sprang up and hit his abdomen. My mouth was practically watering, forgetting how big he was. The first night we fucked, I had told him I was on the pill and that we didn't need to worry about a condom. Remembering that, he lined himself up with my center and rubbed the tip of his cock against it.

"Ugh God, will you please just fuck me already?" I practically yelled. I was so desperate for release, again.

"As you wish, princess," he slowly filled me up, and my walls already clenched around him. Everything felt so familiar, the feeling of his throbbing cock pumping in and out of my cunt, his scent, the feeling of his hands on my body, grabbing and squeezing my curves. "God, you feel so fucking good," he moaned throwing his head back in pleasure. He kept a good pace, not too fast, but oh lord was he fucking me hard. I was already sensitive from the previous orgasm, that I knew I wasn't gonna last very long. I clenched harder around him, feeling that familiar knot in my stomach beginning to unravel. "Are you already about to cum again baby?" he said playfully and continued, "Let me help you then." Chan reached down and began rubbing quick, tiny circles on my clit. I grabbed onto his forearms, to ground myself as I released all over his cock.

"So go-good Chan," I moaned as I came down from my high. I could tell that he was also about to cum because his thrusts were getting sloppier losing his rhythm. "I want you to cum in my mouth Channie," I told him looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"Fuck! You drive me crazy," he moaned as he pulled out of me. I got down on my knees in front of him and took the tip of his swollen cock into my mouth. Sucking harshly and bobbing my head down his length, I could hear him start to whimper. He grabbed the back of my head, gathering my hair into a ponytail. He thrusted into my mouth, causing me to gag a little. "Baby, I'm gonna cum," he announced as he thrusted one last time. I felt the warm liquid hit my tongue and I made sure to swallow every last drop. "You are fucking amazing, Y/N. You know that?" he said as I released his cock from my lips.

"Eh," I shrugged, "I try", I said with a smile.

*welcome back! smut over!*

"I really don't want to be that person who fucks and then leaves, but I kinda have to leave," he said letting the words at the end of his sentence become more of a mumble. I was a little sad, but honestly I didn't expect him to spend the night.

"No that's okay. I have class early in the morning anyway," I said still in a 'post-nut' daze. We both got dressed and I walked him to the front door.

"Don't be late on to class on Thursday, Miss Y/LN," he said with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, weren't you the late one, Professor Bang," I said hitting him playfully on his chest. He caught my wrist and pulled me in for a kiss. It was short, but still full of passion.

"That's still a little too weird to hear from you. Goodnight Y/N," he said smiling. God, those dimples are so dangerous.

"Goodnight Channie," I responded shutting the door. I walked back to my room, cracking the window in hopes that the smell of sex wouldn't be lingering when Wonyoung returned in the morning. Curling up into my sheets, dozing off in pure bliss.

*****

I decided not to tell Wonnie about my secret meeting with Chris. I know she was my best friend, but I promised her I would keep it professional. It wasn't until that following Thursday that I saw him again. We didn't talk much except for a simple good morning before class. He was sitting at his desk wearing the same coat he wore the class before. Before starting the lecture, he took the coat off, and just barely peeking through the top of his sweater, appeared a purple hickey sized bruise. I looked away, but Wonyoung obviously had noticed it too.

"Holy shit! Mr. Bang has a fucking hickey," she whisper-screamed at me. I looked up at her, unable to hide my blushing and discomfort. "Shut the fuck up! You didn't," she said.

"I- don't know what you're talking about," I said trying to deny everything.

"Y/N tell me right now that you and Mr. Bang didn't fuck again," she said in the same tone.

"I'm sorry. Ladies, am I interrupting something?" we looked up and the classes attention was on us. Chris was looking directly at me, and I looked at Wonyoung who was stunned, probably more because of the news she just received rather than us getting in trouble.

"Uh no sir. Just going over something on the syllabus," I said trying to give Chris a 'seriously dude?' kinda look. He caught the hint and continued on with his lecture. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket.

I can safely say that it wasn't a one night thing. It never happened at school, but sometimes he would come over to mine or I would go over to his. It wasn't until the first night he invited me over that I found out that the first time we sex, it wasn't in his apartment.

We were laying in bed together after maybe the second or third round. My head was on his bare chest as he drew little circles on my back. "So how did we end up at your friends' place?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Well, you see, Leo was here with a babysitter while the three of us were out, and I guess my friends really wanted me to get laid. So they said, 'Hey our apartment is yours,' and I guess I just took them up on their offer," he explained so nonchalantly. "Don't worry! I bought Jisung new sheets the next day!" He said with a laugh. I stayed quiet in shock at how chill the three of them were about the situation.

It was so easy being around Chris. When we were alone, it was completely different. He was so much more playful and easy going. Then, we would basically pretend the other person didn't exist when we were in the same classroom. It was all so complicated. I could feel myself falling for him, I just didn't know how to stop. Maybe I didn't want to stop falling for him. Maybe I liked playing with fire a little too much to let Chris go. Maybe the risk was absolutely worth the reward.

#stray kids #bang chan #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x reader #stray kids fanfic #bang chan college au #bang chris #skz bang chan #skz fanfic #skz #bang chan smut #bang chan x y/n #stray kids smut #non idol au #stray kids college au

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jinistd · 3 months

Text

𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘

p. hyunjin × fem!reader

g. smut & fluff

w. 4K

content warning: smut, explicit sexual content, unestablished relationship, smoking, hyunjin gets high, consensual, hyunjin is a service top, use of pet names (hyunjin calls reader kitten/kitty)

masterlist

“-y/n?” she hears Felix call from beside her. The younger had been yapping all period about the party tonight, and y/n didn’t mean to be rude, she really didn’t, but she couldn’t help her mind drifting off onto more important things! Said things being a certain someone that has been making appearance after appearance in her daily daydreaming. Now she's not exactly complaining per se, but she is a little confused as to why her friend has been plaguing her mind more frequently than usual. It could be anything really, from his soothing voice to his dark brown eyes that always held an emotion Y/N couldn’t quite decipher, to his big, veiny hands that always had Y/N's mind drifting to other things. Things like how they would look in hers, how they would look around her waist, or between her thighs-

“Y/N!” You are again pulled from your thoughts as Felix gently kicks your leg under the table, whisper-yelling so as to not draw too much attention to you. You look at him sheepishly, brows drawn together with a small, apologetic smile on your face. “I’m sorry Lixie, what were you saying?” The boy’s frown only deepens, inching closer to you.

Felix squints his eyes as if he’s trying to find something. “Are you ok? You’ve been zoning out lately. Like, more than usual.” He diagnoses, again leaning further into your space, and at this point, it probably looks very odd from an outside perspective.

Blinking, you wonder if you should tell Felix what you've been thinking about recently. Telling Felix would mean also telling Han indirectly, but that’s technically not a bad thing because Han has much better advice than Felix anyway. You decide that it wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend.

You purse your lips, looking at the professor at the front of the classroom. “Felix, may I ask you something?” You start hesitantly, cheeks tingeing lightly as you keep your eyes away from the boy next to you. Felix raises a brow with a ghost of a smirk creeping its way onto his face, pulling away from you to lean back in his chair.

“Of course, Y/N! What’s got the puppy blushing?” The nickname only stirs your insides a little bit, nowhere near the sensation when Hyunjin calls you by the name. You gather yourself momentarily, piecing together your thoughts and looking around just to make sure no one is paying attention to you, which is unlikely for how far away you guys are from the rest of the class, and the amount of people. “How do you know if you like someone?” you finally let out, rushed, searching your friend's eyes for any minute reaction. It’s not like you doesn’t know you like Hyunjin, you're sure you do, but it seemed like the safest question to ask.

Felix's face shifts from surprise, brows raised, and mouth parted slightly, to smug almost instantaneously. “Oh? Does Y/N have a crush?” He asks, voice saccharinely sweet and teasing.

Leaning forward to shove his friend's shoulder half-heartedly, you whine, “Don’t tease! Just answer the question.” You sit back in your chair, watching as Felix feigns hurt for all of five seconds before he’s back to smiling at you. This time it’s downright maniacal, reminding you of the Cheshire cat, and you're just a bit terrified as the boy opens his mouth to say something. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

The blush that was slowly fading has come back in full force, bright reds painting your cheeks as you freeze. Felix gasps, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Oh my god, It’s totally Hyunjin!” He concludes, giggling like a kid at Christmas as he stares at your panic-stricken face. “Lixie it’s not funny!” Huffing, he turns away from his friend and to his notebook, which is barren of the notes they should’ve been taking. Felix seems to catch onto the fact that you are genuinely worried about whatever is going on and decides to save the teasing for later.

“Y/N, I don't know exactly how you feel, but Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t turn you down if you asked him out.” He assures because really, the elder would probably leap at the chance to go on a date with you. I mean who wouldn’t? You may not know, but most of their friends had developed a crush on him at some point, all having gotten over it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

You seem confused by his statement as he tilts his head to the side, eyes asking Felix a question. “What do you mean?” you say softly, almost as if your scared to know the answer. And to this, Felix just kind of stares at you for a moment, trying to figure out if you are making a joke. But your face doesn’t change one bit, staying in a state of confusion. He looks to the side as if there's a camera before turning back to the still-confused Y/N.

“Y/N, do you really not know?” Felix asks slowly, letting the words settle in the air around you. Dark hair shifting as you shake your head, you let out a small ‘no’.

At this, Felix laughs lightly, disbelieving at just how oblivious you are. “Hyung looks at you like you’re the only person in the world. He has these heart eyes, you know? And have you seen him around other people? Bro could not care less about anyone but you, he doesn’t even try to hide it! He’s also really rude to people who try to flirt with him, like, he looks at them like he’s disgusted by their presence. Disgusted Y/N! Have you really never noticed? He’s so obvious about it too…” He trails off, realizing that you had gone silent as he ranted about their older friend's behavior.

When Felix looks over at you, your face is blank with surprise, eyes widened and your bottom lip falling. “He doesn’t do that…” Your voice is nowhere near convincing.

“Sure, he doesn’t.” Is all Felix says before changing the subject again, but you are hardly paying attention.

You are two seconds away from running out the front door of the house. You rarely go to parties, and every time you do, you're reminded as to why. It’s loud, so loud, there's people grinding on each other everywhere, and you lost Felix in the crowd, so you're all alone at a party where you don’t know anyone. Yay!

You're looking around the living room for anyone you may know, or just to not look like an idiot, but either works, and you're almost successful! You think you see Hyunjin sitting on the couch rolling a blunt on the table in front of him, but as soon as you're about to walk over, something—no someone— is blocking your view.

“Hey.” The stranger smirks down at you, the warped smile looking all types of wrong on his face. It makes him look creepy and gross, causing you to cringe at their closeness.

“Can I help you?” You force yourself to be polite, manners still thoroughly intact even in the undesirable circumstances. The boy only increases the disgustingness of his smirk, raking his eyes up and down your body.

You shift in your spot as you look away, uncomfortably folding your arms over your chest and trying your best to glance over the stranger’s shoulder in search of Hyunjin. But the older isn’t on the couch anymore. You deflate, only to suck in a breath at the feeling of an arm being wrapped around his shoulder.

“Hi Baby.” Hyunjin’s voice is a whisper in his ear, lips brushing against the skin. You flush as a shudder runs through your body, you turn to look up at Hyunjin in surprise, his eyes already burning into yours. “Jinnie?” You question softly. Your faces are so close together, you wonder if the taller can hear your heart racing at the proximity.

Hyunjin’s hand comes up to your face, caressing your jaw. “I was looking for you,” He giggles, leaning in closer to your face, inches away. And he makes it sound so real, as if he really was looking for you amidst the crowd, which after the information Felix had shared with you earlier today, has a good chance of being true. Suddenly, Hyunjin looks away from you, eyes set on the stranger who is still standing there, his gaze murderous.

“Can I help you?” The taller spits, standing to his full height and dropping his hand down to your waist to pull you into his body. The boy practically squeaks before scurrying off with his tail between his legs, leaving you two alone.

Your body immediately deflates, leaning yourself into Hyunjin’s comforting hold easily. “Hi Jinnie.” You mumble, turning your head back to look at the older.

Hyunjin softens at the sound of your voice, your eyes finally meeting again. “Hi Y/N-ah.” You preen at the name, your name always sounding different when Hyunjin says it, but to be fair everything sounds different when Hyunjin says it. Better in every way.

He leads the younger to the couch, right where he had been sitting before saving you. Hyunjin picks up the rolled blunt from the table and reaches for the lighter in his pocket.

“y/nnie.” He calls simply, letting the name permeate in the air. You tilt your head to the elder, looking up at him. You aren't sitting far apart at all, thighs touching as Hyunjin lays back against the couch with the new blunt resting in his mouth. His left-hand falls to your thigh, rubbing small and comforting circles into the rough material of your jeans.

It wasn’t comforting at all though, you immediately flush at the feeling of the elder's large hand on your thigh. It was a regular occurrence for Hyunjin to put his hands on you, but each time it set your body alight with nerves.

“Kitty,” God. This boy must want to kill you.

You choke, sputtering as you continue to stare at Hyunjin’s side profile. The elder takes a long drag, holding it for a few seconds and then exhaling. He turns to you. “You should try this.”

And you probably shouldn't, but when Hyunjin’s looking at you as if he's the only person in the room while asking you to do something that seems so mundane, how could you possibly say no? You're a weak woman.

So, you take the offered blunt and presses it to your lips, not really knowing what to do next. Hyunjin seems to understand your dilemma and takes mercy on you because you next hear instructions on how to smoke properly.

“Suck it like a straw, inhale, hold, exhale. Do it gently, or you’re gonna cough.” He smiles at you, teasing as you give him a quizzical expression and nods your head hesitantly.

You still cough. Violently. Your lungs burn as you hand the offensive object back to its original owner, who is now laughing. “Stop laughing!” You whine when you finally catch your breath, throat still burning. Hyunjin’s hand squeezes your thigh tighter as he laughs, head tilted back towards the ceiling. A shiver runs down your spine, Hyunjin is so hot.

“C’mere, kitty.” He grabs the back of your head and tilts your head manually. Stilling, you lay pliant in the others' grasp.

Hyunjin takes a long drag before leaning in, meeting eyes with you wide-eyed and confused. Your lips are parted slightly, just enough so that Hyunjin can lightly press his own against yours to let the smoke travel into your mouth.

The touch is gone as quick as it came.

Hyunjin's own eyes are lidded as he watches. “Suck, inhale, hold, exhale,” he murmurs quietly to you who follows his directions as best as you can, sucking it in like a straw, inhaling, holding, and exhaling.

This time it's much smoother, but the smoke travels from your mouth to Hyunjin’s in a puff, the older boy sucking up the last remnants of it in with confidence.

They're close, so close. You're practically on the other’s lap with how much you had compensated when Hyunjin pulled you in. The air between you is thick as Hyunjin brings the blunt back to his mouth, this time connecting your lips in a real kiss, letting the smoke cloud up around your mouths.

Your eyes flutter shut as they meet, Hyunjin's hand on the back of your head like a brand, heavy and hot. The one that moves to your thigh is no better, tugging on you just enough for you to get the hint that he wants you to sit in his lap. Again, you're a weak woman for Hyunjin, so you go without question.

You feel small like this, sitting in the lap of your friend. You moan against Hyunjin’s mouth as the older grips your waist, it’s not the strongest because the blunt is still between his fingers, but it's more than enough to leave you with the feeling of molten hot desire pooling in your gut.

“Jinnie…” He mumbles into Hyunjin's mouth, curling a fist into his jacket. When he opens his eyes, he sees the gaze the older has fixed on him, lust and want swirling in his dark, hooded eyes.

“Yes, Kitten?” The elder asks teasingly, leaning forward to nip at your plump lower lip. He’s reminded of the blunt in his hands though, pulling it away from your body and taking another hit.

Before he could exhale though, you connect your lips once again, holding onto the side of Hyunjin's face with one of his hands. The kiss is messy, saliva pooling in your mouth and spilling over the corners as Hyunjin kisses you back just as desperately.

But as you continue to share the blunt, your kisses and touches become languid and sweet, delving down into something less rushed. It's still filled with lust however, you're still minutely grinding up or down into each other in the middle of a party on a stranger's couch, but somehow it feels different.

You smile and giggle as you pull away, the weed hasn't hit either of you yet, but you feel light and airy as he stares at Hyunjin.

“Y/N-ah, you're so adorable.” Hyunjin coos, squeezing the side of your waist with no real force. You blush and giggle again, leaning back down to press a peck to the elder's lips. “Jinnie, do you maybe wanna…find a room?” You ask cautiously, making sure to hide yourself in Hyunjin’s neck as you do, hoping that it would serve as a covering.

The content smile on his face grows to a large grin as he cradles the back of your head. “Why don't we go back to my place? It’s only a few minutes from here.” He offers, placing a kiss to your head.

You don't know how the atmosphere changed so quickly. Just a minute ago you were practically cuddling on the couch with a side of kisses and grinding, but now the frottage has gotten out of hand and you're shaking against the elder.

“J-Jinnie! Please, please, please. I’ll be good! I’ll be so good, I swear…” You beg desperately, eyes watering with unshed tears as you stare up at Hyunjin through his lashes.

The older had been teasing you for so long. You just want him to do something to alleviate the ache of your cunt. Hyunjin has his thigh between your legs, pushing down harshly at times, or just simply letting you grind up against him.

He grins down at you. “Yeah? Does my kitty want more?” Hyunjin chides affectionately, his hand holding the side of your face as you relax into the touch.

“Yes.” The way you look is downright seductive. Your clothes aren't even off and your already drooling, hair messy as it lays over your head like a halo, and you're looking up at Hyunjin with these sinfully gorgeous eyes, wide and wanting, pooling with lust. He's sure he doesn't look any better though, just as effected as you in this whole endeavor.

Hyunjin finally lets up, taking his hands back and pulling himself away to take his shirt off. You whine at the loss, but it's soon quieted as you gasp upon seeing Hyunjin without a shirt.

“Jinnie you never told me you worked out…” And for some reason, you sound sad, as if you really were upset that Hyunjin never told you. He pulls off his pants too, letting both articles of clothing fall somewhere on his floor as he moves back to you.

“Baby, are you sure you're ready?” He asks, pausing with his hands on your waist. You thrash, “Jinnie if you don't fuck me right now.” He huffs, trying to sound intimidating but it just comes out as weak and breathless.

Hyunjin's eyes darken, hands working quickly as they rip off your pant and underwear down in one motion, tossing them on the floor and exposing his glistening cunt. “Or what? Hmm Y/N? What are you gonna do if I don't fuck you?” His grip tightens on your hips, blunt nails digging into the soft skin.

There's no bravado in your voice as he speaks, it's lost the longer Hyunjin stares at you with a gaze so hungry and primitive. “I’ll go find someone else.” It's said as a whisper, because it's the furthest thing from the truth—you don't want anyone else other than your Hyunjin to fuck you.

Hyunjin seems to think it's funny, for he tosses his head back in laughter, hands absentmindedly reaching for the fabric that's left on your body.

“We both know you wouldn't even dream of that. ‘Cause you're such a loyal kitten, yeah?” Hyunjin mutters the last part directly into your ear, hot breath hitting the shell and sending a shiver down your spine.

You squeak, Hyunjin's hands finding purchase under your shirt where your chest meets your torso. You nod your head fervently, eyes closing.

Hyunjin only chuckles, crowding into your space. “Yeah, that's right. You're my good girl, aren't you?” It's rhetorical, but you can't help the small, shaky ‘yes’s you let out as Hyunjin kisses down your neck. He pokes his tongue out, letting it taste the subtle saltiness of your skin. Hyunjin sucks harshly at your collarbone, you whimper at the feeling.

“Jinnie. please. Do something…” Your just so desperate. You've been kissing and touching for what feels like hours: Hyunjin has been teasing you for too long and now you're brimming with desire.

When the first tear spills down your cheek, Hyunjin finally takes mercy on you.

“Shh, baby let Jinnie take care of you.” Hyunjin mutters into the furnace that is your skin, pecking the side of your mouth before moving down your body and settling between your legs.

You feel your cunt throb with a fresh spurt of slick as Hyunjin breathes hotly against your folds, just looking. His hands are supporting the underside of your thighs, pushing them up and apart to get a better view.

“Fuck kitty, you're dripping.” And the worst part is that Hyunjin is right. You can feel your arousal as it runs down your legs, it's the dirtiest you've ever felt but you're much too turned on to care.

You're just about to whine for attention again when you feel something warm and hot licking over your clit.

Hyunjin doesn't waste time, sparing you no warning before he abruptly licks a thick stripe up your slit, lapping at the juices that coat your pussy. He groans at the taste, always knowing you would be sweet.

Unable to resist the urge to voice his opinions, Hyunjin speaks his mind. “You taste so good, Y/N.” He hums into you, your pussy clenching around nothing at the praise.

“Jinnie…” You whisper, broken and weak. When Hyunjin looks up at you, your eyes are closed, and your face is drawn up tightly.

Hyunjin sucks harshly at your clit, thighs twitching in his hold. “Ah!” You gasp, your hands instantly moving from their grip on the duvet to lightly grabbing at Hyunjin's hair.

Hyunjin can barely hold back the sounds he’s making, small groans and hums leaving his mouth and vibrating against your entrance as he moves to focus more on it.

Swirling his tongue around the soft hole, he lets your legs rest on his shoulders. You sound so heavenly like this, moaning and whimpering, so fucked out just after a few touches.

His hands massage the skin between your thighs and ass, going back to sucking your clit like candy. Above him, your hands tighten their grip, only serving to spur Hyunjin on.

He flicks his tongue over the swollen bud, pink and puffy with need over and over, making your stomach heave.

“Hyunjin! Ah—Jinnie, so s’good.” You babble, lips shiny and wet with saliva. Hyunjin moans at the sight of drool escaping your mouth and slowly dripping down your chin, feeling his dick throb in his boxers.

He licks into you as if he's been starved his entire life, tongue lapping hungrily over your clit as his nails dig into the soft flesh of your ass. Your legs shake on his shoulders as Hyunjin lets out a long hum, a gasp leaving your mouth at the vibrations. “Hyunjin!” You wail.

In response, Hyunjin presses a wide lick from your entrance to your clit, hooking his tongue around the bud and swirling it around in firm circles. You jolt, the feeling like no other as you moan helplessly.

“Such a good girl, your cunt’s so sweet.” He chuckles, voice gruff as he repeats the action. You are flushed a bright red, cheeks splotchy as tears run down them beautifully.

When your eyes meet, it's heavy, filled with emotion. Your voice is strained as you call for Hyunjin. “Jinnie.” You manage, letting one hand go from Hyunjin's hair in search of one of his own hands.

Hyunjin obliges immediately, slotting your hands together lovingly above your stomach. It's a stark contrast to the way he plunges his tongue back into your sopping entrance, licking up the slick that's now covering his mouth and chin.

He can feel you begin to spasm around him, plush thighs squeezing his head and neck. It’s so hot how you're so desperate, chasing your orgasm as Hyunjin continuously brings you further and further along.

“C’mon baby, be good and cum for Jinnie.” He can feel as you start to crumble, breath becoming much heavier as your eyes start to flutter, moans higher in pitch as you arch your back to push yourself further into Hyunjin's mouth. But it's the next line that really pushes him over the edge.

“Cum for me kitty.” Your mouth is frozen open in a silent scream, air caught in your lungs as your cumming on Hyunjin's face unabashedly. Your body shakes through the process, pussy clenching and unclenching around the elder's tongue in spasmed rhythms.

Hyunjin coaxes you through it all, letting you ride out your high by swallowing every last drop of your release. He doesn't stop until you push his head away with a trembling hand.

When Hyunjin comes up from his spot between your legs, he's met with your glassy eyes looking up at him with a sad look. “‘n/n what's wrong? Did I go too far? Was it too much?” He worries, words slipping from his mouth at a fast pace as his hands come up to cup your warm cheeks.

You shake your head. “Jin, you haven't come yet.” You mumble, pointing down to the very obvious boner he’s sporting. Hyunjin only laughs, thankful that he hadn't overstepped.

“It's okay pretty, I just wanted you to feel good.” Hyunjin assures, kissing your swollen lips sweetly. But it seems like it was the wrong thing to say because now your whining into his mouth.

Pulling away with wide eyes, Hyunjin gives you a curious look. “I want you to…” You look away, blushing furiously, and Hyunjin decides he will be having none of that, turning your head his way again.

“Want me to what?” He pushes, eyes now teasing and expectant. You wriggle in his grip, squirming under the heated gaze.

“‘Wan you to cum on me…” It's barely even a whisper, but Hyunjin still hears, breaking out into a large grin as you look away yet again.

Hyunjin lets go of your face, settling himself between the younger’s legs again. “Yeah? Is that what the kitty wants?” He drawls lowly, reaching into his boxers and releasing his cock from its restraints. He won’t last long at all, his cock is a violet red and it stands up tall, slapping against his stomach.

Gasping when you see the length, you can't help but imagine what it would look like to fit that inside you, what would it feel like. You always knew Hyunjin would be big, but this reaches new lengths.

Hyunjin sees the inner turmoil inside your mind. “Don't worry. Next time, I’ll open you up real nice for me.” He hums, wrapping his hand around the girth and sliding it against the wet surface of your still swollen pussy. Flinching at the sensation, you wince as the head of his cock rubs on his clit so deliciously.

Just as he had thought, it barely takes Hyunjin anything to come, the image of you biting his plump lips and looking up at him while your legs are spread so prettily is more than enough for him to be spilling over his hand with white, hot ropes squirting onto your folds with a loud groan.

He lays himself on top of you after that, careful of his weight but still cuddling into you. You were just so warm and soft. You can't blame him.

“I love you.” Hyunjin blurts into the hot skin of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tight. You giggle in his arms, placing a shy kiss on Hyunjin's temple.

“I love you too.”

#jinistd #hyunjin oneshot #hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #skz x reader #skz smut #changbin smut #bang chan smut #han smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut #leeknow smut #college au #skz scenarios #hyunjin fluff

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bias-fan · 1 month

Text

PERFECT MASTERLIST [baseball player!kim seungmin x only fans creator female!reader] -finished-

synopsis: being an onlyfans creator in college is hard sometimes, getting innuendo comments thrown at you, that’s what kitty deals with but ignores it. she meets seungmin by accident, a baseball hitting her face. he knows who she is because of his friends.

pairings: baseball player! seungmin x only fans creator female! reader

warnings: college au, fluff, angst, crack, innuendo jokes, written chapters, maybe smut, sexual themes

genre: crack, angst, sexual themes, fluff

sugar babies✨ binnie is a 🌽⭐️ others

[01: collaboration]

[02: collab and bruised]

[03: mcdonald’s]

[04: please kiss me📝]

[05: fake dating?]

[06: officially, not officially dating]

[07: not actually dating dating]

[08: black hair seungmin supremacy]

[09: get your ex off my back]

[10: he might like her]

[11: wearing his jersey]

[12: rejected date]

[13: back with ex]

[14: fake breaking up]

[15: blocked and friends]

[16: please let me explain📝]

[17: oh yeah, he confessed]

[18: going to confess]

#kim seungmin #skz #stray kids #bang chan #han jisung #crack #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin imagines #yang jeongin #college au #seo changbin #lee felix #lee know #lee minho #kpop #angst

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svtdarlingbby · 3 months

Text

"He's just a fuck-boy-frat-bro" Fratboy!Bang Chan x fem!Reader

pairing: Frat boy! Bang Chan x fem!Reader; featuring stray kids, '97 liners in Kpop, TXT genre: college au - enemies to lovers - slight angst but mostly fun! warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, reader is kinda mean but so is Chan, one mention of blood, slightly suggestive word count: 8904

Y/N's POV

Whoever declared the false dichotomy that studying English was “easy” did not know the amount of work that went into it. Sure, writing has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but perhaps analyzing the arguments that came into play when it comes to creating effective writing is where my passion lies.

“You know, it would be more effective if you cut out some of the background information. No one wants to read all of that.”

Speaking of arguments.

“Chan, can you just shut the fuck up and finish the peer review?” I rolled my eyes. Workshop days were usually pretty helpful especially since I tend to procrastinate while being a perfectionist about my writing. However, the professor just had to assign us pairs today and of course, she paired me with Christopher Bahng. Or as he liked to call himself, Bang Chan. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but he’s such a fuck boy. He’s a part of some frat, a string of Greek letters I don’t care to remember. He’s always out partying too with his group of friends. They were so loud when I had the displeasure of meeting them when they sat near me at the library during undergrad as I was trying to write a paper. Let’s just say that I didn’t stay in that area for too long. To put it simply, I did not like Chan, nor did he like me.

“I’m just saying” he began in a sing-songy voice, “Can’t you just assume your audience understands the background context?”

He knew how to get on my nerves. “First of all Chan, yes. You’re right. The audience is academic so they probably know what I’m talking about,” I began as he smirked. “However, I only included that much background info to strengthen my credibility. That’s called appealing to ethos. Remember that?”

Chan rolled his eyes as the smirk that was plastered on his chiseled face vanished, “Yeah, whatever,” he groaned as he started to read the rest of my paper.

I suppressed my laughter and looked back at my laptop screen, which displayed the work Chan had for peer review day. As expected, he came in with only an outline for his paper. Probably couldn’t get anything down because he was out with the boys, I thought as I began to scan his outline.

I hate to admit it, but as I read further through Chan’s outline, the more I began to see his vision. He was researching the shift in attitude toward mental health in the 21st century and the language behind that, and honestly, it was a great idea for his thesis. The thing about Chan is that he is intelligent. Despite his annoying attitude and lifestyle, he knows how to write a pretty damn good paper about something he’s passionate about. Maybe that’s why he also found himself in grad school for English with me. I was hoping that he’d go to another university after undergrad, but like me, he stayed for grad school. Just my luck. It didn’t help that we were one of the few students who stayed at our school for grad school with the rest of the cohort coming from other universities. Essentially, I was the only person he was familiar with so Chan always found his way to sit near or even next to me in all four classes we shared. Even during our training sessions, he found his way near me. I just couldn’t get rid of this guy, but at least I can get somewhat authentic writing advice from him.

“Hey Y/N,” said Chan, a suspicious smile growing on his face.

“What?” I said, trying to keep my eyes on my laptop.

“You forgot a comma here,” he said and began to giggle.

I swear if my eyes weren’t permanently rolled into the back of my head by now. “Ha-ha, very funny Chan. Ever take a look at Bean’s hierarchy like we did in training?”

“Yeah, that’s the joke. Or was that too advanced for someone as uptight as you?” he retorted, the smirk back on his face.

“Uptight? I can take a joke,” I said, trying to sound confident.

“Yes, you’re uptight. I’ve never seen you at a party before. You should come with me this weekend,” he said, trying to act suave.

“Now why would I want to go to a party with you?” I said, fully looking Chan into his eyes.

“Everyone in this room knows that you have an ass, why not put it to good use?” he spoke lowly and smirked, not breaking the eye contact as I began to feel myself blush.

“What is fucking wrong with you?” I said, trying to sound angry but it came out more flustered and whiny. I won’t admit it to Chan but wow, does my ass look that good?

“I’m just kidding, we all know I’ve got more ass than you,” he laughed as he went back to reading my paper.

“You know damn well that’s a lie,” I blurted out, still staring at him rather than my laptop.

“Oh? Would you like to prove it to me?” replied Chan, almost a little too quickly. He seemed almost taken aback by how quickly he responded yet still smirked.

“I-” Before I could respond, I was interrupted by a notification from my phone. It was a text from my friend Rosé, who swears Chan and I are soulmates because she thinks we are so similar. Thankfully Chan notices me get distracted by my phone and uses that as an excuse to drop his absurd question and continue reading my paper. I couldn’t wait to tell Rosé about what Chan just said.

Rosé: ok i know we’re both not into frat parties and stuff but Jaehyun is being dragged to that frat party on saturday by jungkook and mingyu and he wants me to come. You don’t have to but do you think you could come with me?

Oh god, she had to be referring to the party Chan mentioned earlier. I thought about it. The worst thing that could happen is Jaehyun getting caught up with his friends and losing Rosé, which I doubt. Jaehyun was truly a gentleman and he was also a part of the English program with Rosé and me. He wouldn’t do that to her. But at the same time, these frat parties were unpredictable and what kind of friend would I be to leave my friend in that kind of situation?

Y/N: yeah i heard about that party. Don’t worry, I’ll come with. But you’re promising me that we are avoiding frat guys especially Chan

Rosé: of course! We’ll just stay with Jaehyun who would prob want to leave early anyway.

Rosé: but

Rosé: it’ll be hard to avoid frat guys especially Chan with your ass 🤭

Rosé: and his ass honestly. You guys are both hot so…

Y/N: Rosé i swear I’m not going to the party now

Rosé: NO i was jk. But fr ur hot

Y/N: thank you 😇send me the details of the party when you get them. Also what you’re gonna be wearing!

Y/N: OMG speaking of, guess what Chan said

Rosé: omg what

Y/N: he was trying to invite me to the party actually and he said something about me having an ass yet his was still bigger and so I called him out on that statement and he basically asked me to prove to him that my ass was fatter 🤢

Rosé: HELP OMG now why would he say that 😭

Y/N: cuz he’s a typical fuck boi

I put my phone down because I suddenly remembered I had to finish up Chan’s peer review. Just as I was about to focus my attention back to my laptop, Chan’s annoying voice spoke up.

“Who were you texting?” he asked, so nosy.

“None of your business,” I responded, still looking at my screen.

“Is it a guy?” he asked, before looking up. “I saw the way you were smiling.”

“Oh my god, it was just Rosé. Why are you so concerned?” I snapped, regaining eye contact with Chan who smirked once again.

Chan’s POV:

My plan is working, thank god Rosé’s dragging Y/N along to that party. God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s mad, especially at me. She’s so funny, all of my friends, her friends, and even everyone in our cohort know that she finds me attractive yet chooses to hate me. It’s crazy, she’s the smartest girl I know but she’s so stupid, denying her feelings. I just pretend to hate her to keep the game going, and it’s been going on since like freshman year. I feel like if she truly hated me, she probably would’ve reported me or something. Not that I’d do anything creepy, no, I have boundaries. I just love to mess with her. And perhaps I might also love her.

I don’t know why I ever admitted that. The boys made fun of me so much.

“Wait, I know you love to mess with her, but you think you love her?” laughed Changbin among the boys.

“Well, I-” I stammered, before being interrupted.

“Bro, how? She hates your guts!” laughed Jeongin.

“Okay but-”

“I don’t think Y/N hates him. She would’ve blocked and maybe gotten his ass kicked out of here by now if she truly hated him,” said Minho, a matter of factly.

“And even though neither of them would admit it, they seem like friends. I mean, they’ve had classes together for five years now. And I’ve seen Y/N willingly sit next to Chan all the time. They’ve even had lunch together a few times! If she hated him, she would’ve moved seats and ignored him all these years,” added Felix optimistically.

“Oh my god, are you saying Y/N probably loves Chan?” asked Seungmin, wide-eyed.

“YES! I’ve known it all these years. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, all that tension from denying her true feelings. This confused girl loves you!” mused Jisung.

“Yeah, honestly, if she wasn’t in the grad program, I might not have pursued grad school. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I admitted, feeling flustered in front of the guys.

“Okay, so how are you going to tell her?” interrogated Jisung. Of course, he wants me to do something about it.

“I really don’t know. I never really planned on it honestly,” I revealed, earning a few dramatic gasps from my friends.

“How about at the party on Saturday?” asked Hyunjin.

“No, she hates frat parties. But I’ve also heard from Rosé that Y/N can party so I don’t know,” I answered, feeling almost hopeless.

“Wait, Chan,” began Minho, a smirk arising on his features, “What if we make Y/N go to that party?”

“Dude, no. As much as I like messing with her, I won’t force her to go somewhere she’s uncomfortable,” I replied somewhat urgently.

“No, not like that. You know Rosé, right? Those two are like best friends. She’s dating Jaehyun, right? He’s in the frat and I know his buddies Jungkook and Mingyu are going to drag his ass there,” explained Minho. “So how about we use Rosé to bring Y/N to the party?”

“Damn Minho, why do you have this elaborate plan?” chuckled Hyunjin.

“I still haven’t gotten back at her for that one time she went out with Jisung,” spoke Minho lowly, “If this plan doesn’t work, at least she gets to see me all up on Jisung.”

“Whoa calm down Minho, it was one date remember? Before we were a thing? I ghosted her after that!” laughed Jisung.

God, I remember that. I was so angry when I found out Jisung’s Bumble date all those years ago was Y/N. Granted, that was freshman year, but still! I shouldn’t be jealous, but Jisung’s one of my bros even though he has clearly moved on. I’m sure Y/N has moved on, God, I hope so.

“Anyways,” I began, “What exactly is going to happen at the party once she’s there?”

“OH! Rosé should totally abandon her! And then you can swoop in and not act like a pretentious asshole for once!” chirped Hyunjin. “And you’ll be surrounded by all the frat guys, who are going to be acting like that and maybe she’ll see that you’re different than the rest!”

The room erupted in agreement from the guys and I began to feel myself warm up to their elaborate plan. “You know what, I think you guys are onto something,” I nodded in agreement as the guys cheered. “I’m going to text Rosé, I know she’d love to set her bestie up.”

Chan: Sup Rosé

Rosé; oh god what do you want

Chan: ok I’m being fr rn. But I have feelings for Y/N

Rosé: that’s the big news? 😭come on, we all knew that.

Rosé: I mean, everyone but Y/N she thinks she hates you but we all know that’s a lie

Chan: wait-

Chan: what do you mean???

Rosé: oh um

Rosé: Y/N is literally going to murder me but

Rosé: at our last girls party, I don’t know what she was on but she admitted that she finds you hot 😭

Wait. What. Y/N thinks I’m hot? Oh my god!

“GUYS Y/N THINKS I’M HOT!” I blurted out to the guys who all cheered in response.

“YES CHAN’S GONNA GET IT!” screamed Changbin as he smacked my back rather harshly.

“OUCH!”

“Sorry bro, the gains, you know?”

I ended up telling Rosé the plan and surprisingly she agreed on the condition that nothing bad happens to Y/N and that she won’t stop her from leaving if she gets uncomfortable. Okay, fair. And I know Y/N. She’s super loyal to her friends so she’ll be at that party either way. God, I’m so excited but nervous. She’s going to look so hot too, I wonder what she looks like outside of her school clothes.

Y/N’s POV

Thank god class was almost over, but why was Chan so concerned with who I was texting? I brushed him off and finished peer-reviewing his outline. Surprisingly, I left a lot of positive feedback but made sure to sneak in some snarky comments. And I corrected his grammar just to be petty. How are you in grad school but can’t differentiate between a dependent and independent clause?

“Here, damn,” I groaned as I hit send on the email where the peer-review was attached.

“Aw, you liked my outline!” rejoiced Chan in that annoying voice of his as he opened the attachment.

“You should be lucky that you’re receiving my feedback. I’m the only one here that would tell you that you suck to your face,” I said as I began to pack up my laptop into my bag.

“Well honey, from the looks of it, you found a lot more positive things about my outline than negative,” laughed Chan.

“Whatever,” I groaned, “Have you even finished peer-reviewing my draft by the way?”

“Almost done, I’ll send it to you in a bit,” he said as he started typing once again.

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I left the classroom.

What I didn’t know was that my half-hearted “thanks” caused Chan’s heart to skip a beat.

The day of the frat party came by faster than expected. Honestly, this whole week was a whirlwind. Thanks to Chan’s surprisingly helpful feedback, I was able to finish the essay before the weekend. I usually don’t drink, but, even being around alcohol can get hungover somehow and I wasn’t going to let a stupid frat party be the demise of my grade. Plus, I had to drive back home.

Usually, I partied with my close friends and attended quite a few parties during my college career. I wonder how it’s going to be to go to a “real” college party, especially as a grad student no less. Maybe Chan was right. Maybe I am uptight. Whatever. I know his dumbass is going to be at that party. I might as well show him what “uptight” is.

With that, I had a fun time choosing my outfit! I’ll admit, it was kinda low-cut. Okay, it was really low-cut but it flattered my good in every way. I haven’t worn it in a while but the black blouse was flirty and fun, with the dotted fabric of the arms sheer and the cropped nature of the shirt sitting right at my waist. I’d pair it with some nice jeans that flattered me. The outfit was far from uptight. And I could tell it would be a real crowd-pleaser based on Rosé’s enthusiastic reaction.

Rosé: WAIT DAMNNN OKAY

Rosé: CAN CHAN FIGHT????

Y/N: LMAO thanks but prob not!!

Y/N: I’d rather be all yours anyways 🙄

Rosé: awww

Rosé: I wonder if Chan’s fave color is black 🤭

Y/N: OH GOD why would you say that 😭 i hope not 🤢

Rosé: LMAO I’m kidding lol butttt he is gonna see you like that just saying

Y/N: okay and? Not my problem

Rosé: yeah sureeee anyways are you almost at my apartment so we could head on over?

Y/N: Yeah, just found a parking spot. Heading over!

Flipping my hair out of my face, I headed toward Rosé’s apartment. Honestly, I was feeling kind of nervous going to this party. What if something bad happens?

Outside the apartment building, I saw none other than Rosé accompanied by her boyfriend Jaehyun. Ugh, they looked perfect together, hand in hand and conversing about something they both could only hear. Until I interrupted.

“Rosé!” I yelled, quickening my pace.

“Y/N! You’re here!” she exclaimed, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand as we hugged each other and flooded one another with compliments of how we looked.

“Damn Rosé, that ass of yours in those jeans?” I swooned, fanning myself.

“Ahem.”

“Oh! Hey Jaehyun!” I exclaimed, caught off guard by Rosé’s quiet boyfriend.

“Hey Y/N!” he laughed as Rosé joined him, presumably at my flustered state.

“Listen! I wasn’t trying to take Rosé away from you! I would never!” I tried to explain, “Even though she was my friend first,” I mumbled that last part under my breath.

“It’s all good! Should we head over now?” asked Rosé as we began to walk toward the frat houses.

The walk over to the frat house was longer than we thought it would be, but thankfully we all wore sneakers. The chill of the fall air blew as Jaehyun draped his sweater over Rosé’s shoulders. God, they were so cute. I can’t believe someone like Jaehyun was technically a frat dude. Come to think of it, Rosé was also in a sorority. I’m sure they knew their way around these parties.

We opened the door just to be met with some frat bro who I quickly recognized as one of Chan’s friends.

“Sup Jaehyun, I see you’re in ratio” he smirked as he let us in.

“Thanks, Hyunjin” laughed Jaehyun as he fist-bumped his brother as Rosé and I followed him inside.

“Ratio?” I asked, perplexed.

“Oh some frats have this thing where a guy should bring two girls with him to be let into a party,” Rosé explained as I quickly understood despite an even more confused expression gracing my features. I chose not to dwell on it as I took in my surroundings. Of course, red solo cups are in the hands of every attendee. Some of Chan’s friends were setting up some music. Sports were playing on the flatscreen TV. So far, so good.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” yelled Jungkook, who seemingly popped out of nowhere.

“Jaehyun!” yelled Mingyu, following behind the older one. God, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always thought they were so hot; I couldn’t help but feel a little shy as I scooted closer to Rosé.

Jaehyun greeted his friends as they all clapped hands, hugged each other, and made small talk. I felt kind of awkward just watching them honestly, so I turned to Rosé.

“I’m not drinking tonight, but did you wanna get a drink?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Oh my god you know what I just realized?” she said, eyes brightening.

“What?” I asked, ever amused by her.

“You might actually see me drunk in person instead of over text!” she laughed.

“Wait, oh my gosh that’s so true!” I exclaimed with excitement as she grabbed a drink, making our way back to Jaehyun and his handsome friends.

“Oh there you are,” said Jaehyun as he turned around, his eyes lighting up when he saw his girlfriend.

Before any of us could respond, the house suddenly boomed with music and a certain boisterous voice made himself apparent.

“HELLO ABΩ! IT’S YOUR BOY BANG CHAN HERE!”

Oh no. I expected him to be here but outside of school, he’s going to be ten times more annoying. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sipped on some water.

“The party is just getting started, my boy Jeongin made this fire playlist. Let loose, enjoy yourself, and remember, tag me and follow me on Instagram @gnabnahc!” he smiled into the microphone. All the frat guys began to cheer, encouraging him. I exhaled, just staring at how ridiculous Chan looked, with his white tee shirt, fitted so perfectly against his sculpted muscles. And his black jeans, emphasizing that dumptruck of his. Of course, he was wearing a cap too. “Let’s have a great night! And-” Suddenly he stopped, creating an awkward silence despite the booming music.

And then I realized. He was staring right into my eyes. I blinked a few times before looking away, feeling Rosé nudge me as she stifled a laugh.

“I lost my train of thought!” Chan laughed, shifting the mood back to the energetic one he had created mere seconds before. “Anyways play some beer pong, dance, have fun!” And once again, all of the frat bros cheered as the party began.

I still felt flustered and annoyed, but also powerful at the same time. Did me just standing there make the cocky and confident Bang Chan flustered to the point of freezing up in front of the boys at a party no less? I smirked, though my cheeks still felt warm as I saw Changbin laughing and smacking Chan’s shoulder.

“Y/N! Did you hear me? Or were you too busy staring back at Chan?” smirked Rosé as she waved her hand in front of my face.

“Wait what?” I blinked as she and Jaehyun began to laugh.

“I was saying you and Chan had a little moment right there! Locking eyes, the world disappearing around you two?” laughed Rosé.

“Very Jane Austen” added Jaehyun in agreement.

“Jane Austen would never write about a frat guy at a frat party no less,” I scoffed, crossing my arms as the couple in front of me shared knowing glances.

Chan’s POV

I will never hear the end of this. Changbin is still smacking my shoulder with his sheer strength and keeps laughing at how I got distracted.

“Oh my god, my abs. I’m not gonna have to train them anymore because of you!” laughed Changbin.

“Will you quit?” I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Very funny, I got distracted.”

“It’s not even that you got distracted! It’s who made you distracted! Tell me, what was it about Y/N that made you practically drool in front of everyone? Was it her hair? Maybe her eyes? Or was it her tits- OW!”

“Not now Changbin,” I muttered after I smacked him. God, I need a beer. I left Changbin behind to find Minho handling the drinks.

“We all saw that, dude,” said Minho somewhat apologetically as he handed me a drink.

“Yeah, whatever,” I said, drinking from the cup rather quickly.

“So, the plan?” asked Minho expectantly.

Right. The elaborate plan of the night. Initially, it seemed easy enough but I didn’t realize just how flustered by Y/N I would be. God, how does she get hotter every time I see her?

“I was gonna wait a little later into the night to tell Rosé to abandon Y/N,” I explained to Minho who nodded.

“Why don’t you go ahead and break the ice with Y/N? I think you acknowledging her early on will show her you have some decency,” suggested Minho.

“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied as I glanced over at Y/N across the crowd before making my way toward her.

Y/N’s POV:

Rosé was too busy talking to Jaehyun as I took in my surroundings once again. The party was beginning to get lively with more people dancing, especially Hyunjin, who was already surrounded by several guys and girls alike. Dancing would be fun honestly, but it would be awkward going up there and not knowing anyone. Just as I took my eyes off the dance floor, I met the gaze of none other than Chan.

“Oh god, what do you want,” I muttered unenthusiastically as he walked toward me.

“So, you made it? I knew you weren’t as uptight as you let on,” smirked Chan as he leaned against the wall, drink in hand.

“Don’t you have a paper to write?” I asked, trying not to take in how attractive he looked at that moment. Maybe all that alcohol around me was starting to intoxicate me somehow. He never looks good.

“Well someone provided me with some extra good feedback on my outline the other day,” he began, smiling, “Let’s just say that was an easy paper to write.”

I scoffed, “No way you wrote twenty-five pages in two days, weekdays no less.”

“Oh, but I did. I know you think I’m just a typical frat bro but I do care about the mental health movement,” he said, cocking an eyebrow up as his gaze bore into my soul.

“Whatever,” I said, breaking eye contact and feeling a bit flustered.

“Anyways,” began Chan, “It’s nice seeing you here. Nice to see you outside of class, I mean,” he stumbled as his eyes scanned my outfit.

It was my turn to make him flustered. “Are you talking about me, or my tits?” I smirked, standing up straighter as he shuffled.

“Well, I-” he began, before regaining his composure, “I expected to see your ass, not your tits today.”

“CHAN!” I yelled as he laughed, “Well, at least mine are bigger than yours!”

“That I can agree with,” Chan laughed, causing me to chuckle and playfully smack his arm.

“We can finally agree on something,” I admitted as I playfully rolled my eyes and he nodded in response.

“I’d say we’re finally on the same level of debate,” Chan winked as he referenced our TA curriculum.

“Yeah, I would say that we passed conjecture so we’re definitely on definition right now,” I said as I dramatically furrowed my brows, pretending to be a teacher.

“God, I’m so glad we’re actually applying what we’ve learned to the real world!” Chan exclaimed, dramatically opening his arms and gesturing to the “real world” that was the frat party before him. I hate to admit it, but Chan was actually funny. He knew how to appeal to my sense of humor. As hard as grad school is, these little jokes make me feel like I’m not alone. As we were laughing, I could just feel the stares of several people burning through the bubble Chan and I created. He could feel it too. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rosé giggling at us. Oh god, she probably took some pictures too. I also felt the knowing stares of Chan’s friends, even Hyunjin who was surrounded by guys and girls had his gaze fixated on Chan and me. Also, did I see Jisung, that one guy I had that awkward date with freshman year, stop making out with Chan’s other friend Minho just for them to look in our direction? What was going on?

Chan’s POV

I’m glad Y/N is warming up to me, she’s honestly not uptight at all! As awkward as my first glance, well, stare, at her today was, I’m so glad she didn’t bring that up. Speaking of staring, what is wrong with me? She saw me staring at her tits god I want to die. I mean, she didn’t murder me! That’s a good sign, right? As fun and lighthearted as our conversation was, how come the guys and Rosé had to be so fucking obvious? I thought this plan was supposed to be low-key, not “everyone-stare-at-Chan-to-see-if-he-finally-asks-Y/N-out.” I think Y/N is catching on, I mean, I practically feel everyone’s staring at us. I need to find a distraction, quickly.

“Ahem” I cleared my throat, “Do you want another drink?”

“Oh, um, yeah sure,” she replied as I snapped her out of her thoughts as we made our way to the drink table.

I don’t know why I was reacting so quickly but as Y/N reached for a water bottle, something in me told me to grab it for her. It wasn’t until our hands met on the same water bottle that I snapped out of my actions.

“Oh-”

“Sorry!”

“Here, I’ll grab it for you,” I said, handing her the water bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking down. Oh god, am I screwing this up? Did I make it awkward? From the corner of my eye, Felix gave me an apologetic smile as I wearily shook my head. I had to fix this.

“So, you’re not drinking tonight?” I asked, breaking the ice.

“Nope. I’ve gotta drive home but being drunk would be fun,” chuckled Y/N before taking a sip. “Yeah? How’s ‘drunk’ Y/N?” I asked using air quotations.

“I don’t remember,” laughed Y/N, “The videos I’ve seen of me in that state are hilarious though. I get cocky, witty, and flirty, so kind of like you on a regular basis. So yeah, I turn into a fuck boy.”

“That does sound like me,” I chuckled as we sat down on the couch. “We’re pretty similar, don’t you think?”

Y/N grimaced. “Rosé thinks so.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, and it’s so far from the truth!” she exclaimed dramatically, “Rosé, come here!” she yelled over the couch for her friend. Ugh. Just when I thought I could get her alone without Rosé having to completely abandon her friend.

“Yes?” asked Rosé, another drink in hand.

“Come on, sit down and tell Chan about your delusions. About how you think we’re the same person,” said Y/N who scooted away from me, gesturing for Rosé to sit between her and me. I swear if Rosé cockblocks me…

Fortunately for me, Rosé takes a seat on Y/N’s other side. “You two are so similar oh my god, Chan you don’t even know the full extent,” giggled Rosé as she leaned into Y/N. Ugh. That should be me.

“Yeah? How are we so similar?” I said glancing between the two women expectedly.

“You both are studying English!,” laughed Rosé.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t know that!” scoffed Y/N sarcastically as I chuckled.

“Oh, oh! Your zodiac signs are compatible!” Rosé smirked as she raised her eyebrows.

“Oh yeah, you’re a Libra right? October 3rd?” asked Y/N expectantly and I nodded. She knows my birthday?! I don’t know why my heart began to race at this fact. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every zodiac sign is compatible with Libra lol!)

“Oh- and don’t forget, your MBTIs are super compatible too!” exclaimed Rosé.

“I’m an ENFJ, what are you?” I asked as Y/N looked away and replied (your MBTI). Oh my gosh, ENFJ and (your MBTI) are like, supposed to be soulmates. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every MBTI is compatible with ENFJ lol)

“Oh- and also! Remember the blood drive for the frats and sororities? You’re type O Chan!” chimed Rosé.

“How did you remember that?” I chuckled looking between the clearly intoxicated Rosé and Y/N.

“I’ll let Y/N explain that one!” exclaimed Rosé as she darted her eyes between Y/N and I.

“Ugh, unfortunately, that means your blood type can be accepted by any other blood type, Chan. So your blood would be accepted by mine,” gagged Y/N, “I’d rather die at that point,” she deadpanned, causing both Rosé and I to laugh.

“Really? You’d rather die than receive my thick, juicy, red blood from these veins?” I asked, making a fist so the veins on my arms would appear. Y/N bit her lip and exhaled as Rosé laughed even harder.

“Yeah Y/N, I thought you had an arm kink?” blurted out Rosé, who was probably drunk by now.

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N, getting more flustered and looking away from me. I only laughed harder and felt my ego rise exponentially. She’s an arm girl? Noted. I’ll have to wear tank tops more often.

“Like what you see?” I whispered to Y/N, flexing my biceps. She didn’t respond, but I saw the way her eyes lingered.

“Yeah Y/N! You should feel his muscles” laughed Rosé as she grabbed Y/N’s hand suddenly and placed it on top of my bicep

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N as her hand retracted quickly from my bicep. God, if only she knew how flustered I was feeling right now. Before I knew it, I blurted out “I don’t bite. Go for it.”

“Oh, um. Okay,” replied Y/N as she leaned over and felt my muscles. I tried not to act flustered as she leaned toward me, that blouse of her’s making it hard to focus on her hand on my arm. I swear her skin on mine was something I had been craving for years. “Neat,” she said, retracting her arm but I could see the redness gathering on her cheeks.

“Whoa, save some room for Jesus!” blurted out a boy with long, dark brown hair. Behind him was a taller boy who looked somewhat flustered.

“Beomgyu? Soobin? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up instantly at the sight of them. I could feel my blood begin to boil but I had to maintain my composure. I can’t let something like jealousy ruin the plan.

“You guys aren’t even in this frat!” laughed Rosé, causing the two guys to chuckle.

“Yeah and? We’re here for a good time, right Soob?” laughed Beomgyu as he smacked Soobin in the chest.

“Oh- Uh, yeah! How are you, Y/N?” asked Soobin shyly. Why was he asking about her specifically? I kept my mouth shut as I glanced at Y/N, who looked somewhat flustered herself.

“I didn’t think I’d be here but this one dragged me here,” explained Y/N as she glanced over at Rosé.

“Okay and? You’re having a good time?” stated Rosé like it was the most obvious thing.

Everyone chuckled but me, but I tried to play it cool and forced myself to smile at their small talk. Ugh, I just wish these cockblockers would go away!

“Oh my god, they’re playing Rodeo! Soobin, you like that song don’t you?” boomed Beomgyu as he gestured toward Soobin. “Let’s get up there!” he exclaimed as he gestured toward Y/N and pulled her from the couch.

“Wait this song is so funny!” laughed Y/N as she enthusiastically made her way to the dance floor with Soobin and Beomgyu.

And just like that, my jaw was on the floor. How did these two random guys, who aren’t even in my frat by the way, just snatch Y/N away from me like that?

“Ouch,” muttered Rosé as I stared at the dance floor in disbelief.

“Bro did that just actually happen?” I heard Seungmin say as he took Y/N’s vacant spot.

“Man, I’m sorry,” I heard Felix’s deep voice behind the couch as he leaned over to pat my shoulder comfortingly.

“How- She just- I just-” I stammered, still in disbelief at what just happened.

“So um, Beomgyu and Soobin know Y/N from biology class during undergrad,” explained Rosé, trying to help me make sense of this. “Soobin was her lab partner.” Honestly, that didn’t really help as I just sighed in response. To be honest, I knew getting Y/N wasn’t going to be this easy. If I have competition, so be it.

“Give me a minute,” I muttered as I stood up to get another drink. I felt their apologetic stares burn into my back as I made my way to the drinks. I glanced at the dance floor, and of course, Y/N was having the time of her life. God, she looked so hot dancing. Putting that ass to good use like I had said earlier. Just as I was about to look away, an unsightly scene unfolded before me on the dance floor. Why were Soobin and Y/N practically grinding on one another like that? My blood was already boiling, but now it was evaporated by how angry and jealous I felt. I know my face showed that as I made eye contact with Y/N as she smirked.

Y/N’s POV

Ah Soobin, my old lab partner. My old crush. It didn’t end up working out between us back in undergrad, Soobin claiming that while he did like me, he just couldn’t devote enough time to a relationship. He was a part of many biology related clubs and even president of one. He also had a job on top of all that. Honestly, that was understandable and I quickly moved past those feelings. However, for Soobin I could definitely tell those feelings never went away. Maybe it’s a good thing Soobin studied biology; he couldn’t analyze situations like I could. Let’s face it, Chan was being extra good and not annoying today. That’s really suspicious, and frankly, I don’t know how to react to his good behavior. Admittedly, yes, I was flustered by our interactions throughout today. But he’s just a fuck boy frat bro. He’s always going to be flirting around, probably in hopes of getting laid. I don’t want to be just another one of those girls he fucks for the sake of it. I thought he knew that by now that I’m not into hookup culture. When Beomgyu and Soobin appeared, it was a perfect opportunity to test out my hypothesis: if Bang Chan wasn’t attracted to me like that, then he’d have no problem seeing me dance with another guy. I also just wanted to dance really badly.

Also, “Rodeo” by Lah Pat and Flo Milli? The song used in every fuck boy thirst trap and slutty TikTok edits? How could I pass the opportunity to not make Chan jealous with such an explicit song about fucking?

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang, eyeing Soobin while swaying my hips as some girls hyped me up on the dance floor.

“Go Y/N!” cheered Beomgyu as he pulled out some smooth moves.

It seemed like Soobin was getting out of his shell as he suddenly busted out some killer dance moves, slowly closing the distance between us. “Like a rodeo babe!” he winked. I forgot how fun it was to dance, especially with such a supportive crowd. I wonder if someone was watching. I could practically feel Soobin’s warmth behind me as we danced when I locked eyes with Chan who was heading toward the drinks. I could tell he was fuming as his gaze bore into mine.

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang again, trying to be as seductive as possible in the way I moved, never breaking eye contact with Chan. I don’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but god I felt powerful. Maybe this is how Chan usually feels.

Chan blinked back, seemingly flustered and even angry as he looked away and got another drink. He walked out of the front door dejectedly. I laughed as Beomgyu shot me a confused glance but I just waved him off as he continued dancing. As I was dancing with Soobin though, I began to feel guilty. Why the hell did I feel bad for Chan? He didn’t own me, in fact, he always went out of his way to make me angry and annoyed. Okay, he never went this far but still. And I practically just used Soobin to make Chan jealous knowing that Soobin still probably had feelings for me. I’ve always chided Chan for being a fuck boy, but here I was playing with his feelings and even bringing another guy into this mess by using him. Maybe I’m the fuck boy.

The next song began to play, and I knew I needed to make things right before they got worse.

“Hey, Soobin?” I asked over the blaring music as I gestured for him to follow me away from the dance floor.

“Yes, Y/N?” replied Soobin as he leaned down to my height so he could hear me.

“Thank you for the dance, but sorry. I didn’t mean to get all up on you. I don’t want to lead you on, because I’ve moved on since undergrad. I should’ve considered your feelings before I did that, I’m sorry,” I rambled my apology, not really knowing what to say and hoping the damage wasn’t already done.

“Oh,” paused Soobin as he looked down, “It’s okay, I just… I just wish I hadn’t been a coward and made excuses back then.”

“What are you talking about Soobin?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you clearly moved on. I always see you with Chan especially since you started grad school. Even at this party, you were with him when I walked in. Beomgyu just tried to convince me to take a chance and try to get you back, but I can see I missed my chance,” smiled Soobin wistfully. “I could tell you were trying to make Chan jealous when you danced with me.”

Well, maybe I was wrong. Soobin read my plan like a book. Why wasn’t he in the English program?

“Was I that obvious,” I muttered, looking away from Soobin as he chuckled.

“I knew it was too good to be true when you were moving like that. Like you had a point to prove,” chuckled Soobin.

“Ugh, I’m sorry Soobin,” I apologized once again.

“It’s okay, I know you’re an asshole now,” he laughed dryly before gesturing to the door, “Now go get Chan. I’ll be okay. I’ve gotta take care of Beomgyu.”

I glanced at the dance floor and Beomgyu was clearly very drunk and happily dancing. Soobin gave me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks Soob. Take care,” I smiled back before making my way out of the frat house through the door Chan left from.

Chan’s POV:

I shivered as the cool autumn breeze hit me, the hand holding my drink becoming disproportionately colder than the rest of my body as a result of the sudden temperature change. God, why did Y/N dancing with another guy bother me so much? Everything was going perfectly until Soobin showed up. I know she’s not technically mine but why does the thought of her being with someone who isn’t me hurt so much? I get so angry when things don’t go my way. What should I do!? I blinked back a few tears as I paced along the sidewalk near the building. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw the concerned texts from some of the guys in our group chat.

Felix: hey Chan, are you okay? I’m here if you need anything

Jeongin: what happened to Chan?

Hyunjin: his genius plan isn’t working *insert video of Y/N and Soobin on the dance floor*

Minho: oh my god that bitch

Jisung: okay maybe I was right to ghost her!

Seungmin: yeahhh it was pitiful

Changbin: damn I’m sorry bro

I sighed, not bothering to reply. I just needed some space to process the fact that Y/N is probably going to leave the party with another guy. Someone who isn’t me. Maybe I shouldn’t have messed with her as much as I did. I’m sure it must have gotten old pretty quickly. I should’ve just been honest with her from the beginning. But no, I just had to maintain my frat boy image. I don’t know why, or how, I could be this stupid. I just fucked up my chances of being with the prettiest, funniest, and smartest girl I know. Just as I reached to wipe my tears, I heard a familiar voice.

“Chan!”

I turned around and was faced with none other than Y/N. Concern and regret painted her features as she gazed into my teary eyes.

“Chan,” she spoke softly, inching closer to me. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have left you like that just to make you jealous on purpose. I’m really sorry.”

I quickly blinked back any tears that remained and wiped the rest off my face. “Y/N, you came to find me?”

Y/N blinked a few times before replying, “Of course. I wanted to mess with you but I could tell that you were hurt. I couldn’t just leave you alone.”

I swallowed before speaking, gently taking ahold of her hand. “Y/N, I need to come clean. I like, no, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. Since like, freshman year. I only pretended to hate you just to mess with you. I don’t know why, I’m so stupid, I just, I thought that was just how a frat guy should act. Clearly not, I just annoyed you and I don’t blame you if you don’t return my feelings. I’ve been an asshole to you for a long time, and I’m sorry,” I rambled, feeling her grip on my hand tighten as I felt myself begin to shake.

“Chan…” muttered Y/N as she looked into my eyes. God, I’m so embarrassed.

Y/N’s POV:

I just felt so guilty, and I’m glad I apologized. It’s the least I could do. I know Chan loves to mess with me but he has never gone out of his way to hurt me like I just did to him. However, he really did just drop a bomb out of nowhere. Chan loves me?

“Chan,” I said, squeezing his hand once again to get him to look at me. It works. “I honestly didn’t realize you felt that way. Wow,”

“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you at all to say yes. I just think you deserve to know how I truly feel,” admitted Chan.

“No, it’s not that. I just think that you helped me describe what I’ve been feeling,” I admitted. “I always thought I hated you, but I’ve always been drawn to you. It’s not the same if you’re away. And I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t go away for grad school because you’re such a constant in my life. Like, I couldn’t imagine not going to school with you.”

Chan began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked, bracing myself for Chan to probably admit this was a whole prank or something.

“It’s just, I only chose to go to grad school in the first place because you were doing it. And you just so happened to be staying here so I followed you,” laughed Chan, squeezing my hand gingerly.

My eyes widened, “Well this is news to me!”

“When I told the guys this, they insisted I asked you out. So we made this whole elaborate plan to get you to this party but the plan didn’t really go as planned,” confessed Chan.

“Oh Chan,” I laughed, “Did you guys think you could really fool me?”

“Yeah. So did Rosé,” smirked Chan.

“She what?” I asked, shocked that Rosé was plotting with Chan.

“She’s gonna kill me for telling you but yes, I asked her to bring you here.”

“Oh my god, that’s why her text about the party conveniently came during peer review!” everything began to click as Chan smiled. “I mean, that explains everyone staring at us this whole night.”

“There’s the smart Y/N I know,” laughed Chan, staring at me with adoration which made me flustered.

“I should’ve known,” I laughed dryly, “But Chan, seriously, I did have a great time with you tonight. And I don’t want that to end so, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend I guess.”

“You what!?” Chan’s jaw dropped as his eyes brightened.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I rolled my eyes as I pulled him into a kiss. His plush lips I used to despise returned the kiss as he fought back a smile, putting his hands on my waist to draw me closer. We pulled back from one another because we couldn’t stop smiling.

“God, Y/N. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” mused Chan as a genuine smile graced his features as he put an arm around my waist.

“Yeah it took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes playfully and leaned into his embrace. “Now do you wanna go back inside to party?”

“I’m happy wherever you are, Y/N.”

Chan’s POV

YESSSS I DID IT!!! Y/N IS MINE NOW! Oh my god, oh my god. All it took was for me to word-vomit everything I had felt about her with a pinch of jealousy to make her my girlfriend. I don’t even remember the initial plan because this outcome is so much better. I smiled at the girl in my arms, the one I spent years annoying because I couldn’t communicate my feelings. This is what bliss is.

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate like crazy once again.

“Hold on, I think the guys are texting me,” I tell Y/N as I bring out my phone. I gasp as my eyes widen.

Felix: So uh, I went outside to find Chan and this is what I saw 😳 *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Hyunjin: omg how the turns have tabled

Jisung: WHAT!! The switch up is crazyyyyy

Jeongin: oh god my eyesssss (nice job Chan)

Seungmin: phew Chan is okay lol

A message was deleted by Minho

Minho: Aw finally! (I didn’t call Y/N a bitch earlier nooo)

Changbin: CHAN’S GETTING IT AYYY

“What’s wrong Chan?” asked Y/N as she fished out her phone which was also buzzing with notifications.

“Just check your phone,” I muttered in disbelief, but I couldn’t help but hold back a smile.

Y/N’s POV

I took Chan’s advice and checked my phone. Maybe something had happened at the party while we were gone? Instead, I found like a hundred notifications from Rosé.

Rosé: AHFEWFEJ WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Rosé: I know you liked Soobin at one point but like

Rosé: omg Chan is actually sad

Rosé: check your phoneee even Jaehyun agrees

Rosé: wait omg

Rosé: *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Rosé: care to explain? 🤭

“Oh my god Rosé!” I yelled.

Chan POV:

“Actually it was Felix who took that pic,” I laughed at her flustered state. Honestly, I love that the picture exists. My first kiss with Y/N. How precious!

“Wanna go kill them?” asked Y/N, rolling up her sleeves. God she’s so hot when she’s mad, even hotter when she’s mad at other people.

“Gladly, but first, you never answered my question,” I began, smirking at her once again.

“What question?” She replied, tilting her head in confusion.

“Can you prove to me that your ass is actually bigger than mine?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I eyed her behind and began to laugh at her further flustered state. She paused before suddenly moving closer to me.

“After I get finished with them,” she muttered, gesturing to our friends in the frat house, “Is when I’ll get started with this.” I yelped from the sudden smack on my butt as Y/N eyed me dangerously, smirking.

“Oh I can’t wait!”

Epilogue:

Y/N’s POV

Even though I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, I still woke up hungover the next morning in my bed. I groaned at the slew of notifications that had woken me up from my slumber. I can’t believe that I woke up as the girlfriend of Bang Chan, the frat guy who had a notorious reputation for also being a fuck boy. I blinked a few times as I opened Instagram only to find the picture of me kissing Bang Chan to be the first post I saw.

@gnabnahc last night was crazyyy 🥶💯😳

Comments:

@yong.lixx: photo creds? 📸 jk so happy for you man

@i.2.n.8: mommy & daddy 😳

@miniverse.__: lookin gr8 bro

@jutdwae: Ayyyy bro is hard launching rn!

@hynjinnnn: now this is art

@minho_knows: you’re welcome

@han_jisung: yeah she’s much better with you 🤭

@roses_are_rosie: so the plan worked! 😁

@page.soobin: congrats 🥲

⎿ @bamgyuuuu: it’s ok u tried bro 😤

Ok this was my first ever attempt at writing a stray kids fic! I hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this! I know Chan would never be a fuck boy irl but as you can see it would be fun to imagine what that might look like!

#stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #bang chan x female reader #stray kids college au #skz x reader #skz x y/n #bang chan #chan x reader

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daceydeath · 23 days

Text

Cigarettes and Cliche Masterlist

Pairings: Bad Boy Felix x Reader Word Count: 36K (currently) Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Drinking, Explicit Activities, Bullying, Mentions of Abuse

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.

Intro Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 (Coming soon)

Taglist is still open please let me know if you would like to be added to it xx

#stray kids #skz #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #college au #bad boy felix

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jisungsdaydreamer · 11 months

Text

Love Playlist #2: UGH! (Bang Chan)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

"Shut the fuck up."

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader Genre: college au, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, forced proximity Warnings: swearing, mc has autism, misogynistic behavior (not Bang Chan), implications of ableism, bullying, short panic attack description Word Count: 11k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that you hate Christopher Bang’s guts. Everything about him, you hate. The utter laziness that he masks as nonchalance? The “happy-go-lucky” attitude that borders on bullheaded recklessness? The way every single time you text him about something important, he never replies? You hate it all. He’s irresponsible, aimless, completely unreliable, and you hate him.

Chris believes that the whole world revolves around him, and unfortunately, he would be correct. With dimples that rival Harry Styles’s and saccharinity biologically embedded in him, his good looks and charismatic personality blind everyone to the truth. Everyone except for you, of course.

Even if all of the supreme powers in the universe held you over an eternal chasm and forced you to find compromise, you still wouldn’t be able to stop hating him. And you hate heights— almost as much as him— so that’s saying something. Your hatred for him will never, ever waver. You hate Chris Bang, period. And you hate him even more now, as he stands next to you and accepts an honor that should solely be yours.

“Congratulations, Chris and Y/N!”

You keep clapping and plaster on a fake smile to save face, trying to ignore the rage bubbling inside of you. In your peripheral vision, you sense Christopher laughing and shooting finger guns towards people in the audience, like some kind of corrupt politician. In a way, he is one, because you should have won this election. But you didn’t.

“In all of our history, never has there been an exact voting tie between two candidates.” The sickeningly cheerful announcer bounds closer to where you are standing on the stage, gesturing towards you both. “Everyone, please give another round of applause for our new Student Co-Presidents!”

Hearing it officially made you feel nauseated. For the three years you’ve been a college student, you have worked tirelessly, day and night, so this moment could come to fruition. All of those days filled with nonsense— schmoozing to all of the seniors in the Undergraduate Student Council, attending the endless number of tedious mixers to make connections, standing in the rain trying to raise funds for the organization— were going to be worth it, because in the end, you had one goal: to be student body president.

But your dreams were dashed to the ground when he strolled in like a supermodel. While you were toiling since you were a freshman, Chris showed up at the final student council meeting at the end of last year, expressing his intentions to run for president in the following academic semester after the summer. Chris’s charm threw off the projectile of the election, compared to how although you carry yourself very well professionally, you still are very socially uncapable. Making engaging small talk about the weather or joking about frat parties on campus are unthinkable tasks for you, while that kind of conversation is exactly Chris’s forte.

You know that you’re lucky that you at least get part of the title, because while on paper you are more qualified than Chris, the game was never in your favor. And seeing it all happen by the cursed will of the one person you’ve despised more than anyone else, since you were a kid, makes it hurt more than anything.

“Great job, partner.”

You’re snapped out of your disturbed musings by the aforementioned person, who beams and stretches out his hand towards you. You’re wary of the gesture, but accept it anyway, making sure to squeeze his hand extra hard.

“Same to you, Christopher,” you retort, adding an unmistakable bite to your words.

The smile doesn’t fade off of his face as he coolly shakes his aching hand off from your death grip. “I go by Chris, you know that.”

You nearly snort, but refrain from it, because people are watching. You do not need any negative publicity right now, especially next to your co-counsel who seems to do no wrong. But that won’t stop you from being discreetly petty. “Okay, Christopher.”

You hate Chris, and he knows it. But his elated expression doesn’t budge as he merely moves away from you to spark conversation with the announcer, who looks at Chris with literal hearts in her eyes. One more thing you hate: no matter how much you try to rile him up like he does to you, he never gives you a reaction. That satisfaction solely belongs to him.

Rolling your eyes, you shove past him as gracefully as you can, eliciting a surprised grunt out of him. As Chris rubs his side behind you, you turn to the students coming closer to congratulate you, the smile on your face very much genuine now.

“He left me on read! AGAIN. Can you believe the audacity?”

The smoky, herbaceous scent of freshly brewed coffee and sugary fragrance of baking breakfast pastries does nothing to soothe your anger. Your unadulterated complaints ricochet off of the walls of Morningstar Coffee House, your go-to place when you need to feign study in order to hang out with your best friend, a devoted employee-in-training at the place.

Soobin groans, dumping out the latest batch of long macchiato into the sink. “I keep messing it up.”

“Are you even listening, Soobin?” You lean against the counter that he’s behind, wiping up the small drops of milk that escaped the carton in his hasty panic to master the art of being a barista.

“Yes, yes, I am, sorry. Please continue.” Soobin sets aside his blender and folds his hands on the granite, looking at you earnestly.

You pick at the chipped dark purple polish on your nails. “I can work with him. I can. Because I’m a professional. But he makes it so hard when I’m trying to communicate with him.”

Soobin shrugs. “Maybe he’s just not using his phone right now.”

With a frustrated sigh, you shake your head. If only everyone could be as sweet and guileless as Soobin. He always sees the best in people, and while you’re not a pessimist, it’s hard for you to find the good in Chris’s character.

“It’s not just the text thing, even though I really do need him to tell me if he’s finished the nominations for the ethics board. It’s like, he doesn’t give a crap about anything, especially when it comes from me.”

Soobin nods slowly, wrinkling his nose in thought. “I know he’s difficult. But just keep rising above. Getting upset hurts you, not him.”

As always, Soobin remains the voice of reason behind your storms, your eternal complement. When you need to cry your emotions out, he welcomes you with open arms. When he’s too shy to ask for the dessert menu at restaurants, you will signal for the waiter. When you make your displeasure apparent, he induces a degree of rationality into your vexed mind. That said, fundamentally, both of you are introverts. At the end of the day, you love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch knitting tutorials on Youtube with Soobin. Opposites or not, you fit each other like a glove.

“I love you, cucumber,” you say, affectionately poking fun at your best friend’s towering height.

Soobin’s cheeks turn light pink, and he swats your hands away. “You’re weird.”

You tip your head back and laugh, while Soobin grins and resumes his duties in trying to figure out how to work the cash register. You can feel the worries already lifting in your chest, because who cares about Chris, anyway? Certainly not you.

But as if you had spoken of the devil, you hear the jingle of the shopkeeper’s doorbell, followed by that familiar boisterous guffaw. The sound makes you whirl around, the tension soaring back into your shoulders. And there he is, sauntering into the café with his trusty entourage trailing.

Your narrowed eyes meet Chris’s, and he pauses in the middle of whatever obnoxious joke he must have been sharing. For a brief moment, a telepathic duel sparks between you both, a challenge to see which one of you will be the first to crack. You win, when he breaks eye contact to go and find a seat with his friends in the lounge area. But once more, it doesn’t feel that way, because while he’s resumed his own activities, you’re still thinking about him. So much for rising above. Damn it.

“Soobin, you need to scan your employee ID first or else sales won’t be attributed to you. We already went over this.”

The voice of Seungmin, the son of Morningstar’s owners and your fellow university student, halts your deliberations and thankfully pulls your thoughts away from Chris. Seungmin is inside from his break and stands there besides Soobin, scolding him for making another mistake in his practice transaction before the evening rush.

“Right! Sorry about that.” Soobin shakes his head and exhales, grabbing a towel to wipe his sweaty hands.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep at it.” Seungmin softens, patting Soobin on the back before making his way over to where Chris is sitting. Because of course, Chris is friends with every single person in existence.

Another person enters the building, prompting the telltale ring to go off. Soobin’s perpetual flush morphs into a crimson, and you immediately turn to see which newcomer has got your best friend so hot and bothered. You’re met by the sight of a very pretty girl who you recognize, but whose name escapes you. However, you know the boy she has walked into the coffee house with— her best friend, Han Jisung, who is unsurprisingly another member of Chris’s glorified posse.

“You have got to be kidding me.” You raise your eyebrow at Soobin, who is still watching the girl with a lovelorn look in his eyes.

“What?”

“You can’t like her. She and Jisung have a thing.”

“They’re just friends,” Soobin says, frowning, but you can see the contradicting doubt written across his face. “Maybe I’ll talk to Seungmin and see what’s up.”

You take his hand and resign, because other times, both of you have to learn your lessons on your own. “You’ll make someone’s heart beat as fast as they do your own. Whether it’s her or not.”

Soobin swallows, fully directing his attention back to you. “The same to you as well. ”

You let out a playful snort, thinking of your one short-lived romance from freshman year. You haven’t dated since, deciding to set relationships aside so you can focus better on your studies. You cannot take the chance of losing precious time, time that can only be allotted to your favorite person, work, and nothing else. Besides, you’ve never been very good at flirting— let alone finding friends— anyway.

“But I think Chris raises your pulse rate enough, so maybe you’ve got your plate full for now.”

“Don’t start,” you warn, the annoyance picking up again. Soobin sends you a cheeky smile, before he attends to his peckish customers.

You take the opportunity to make your way back to your table in the front of the cafe, your favorite little spot that overlooks the lush campus lawn, and then past the historic buildings of your university, the faint city skyline. The trees have begun happily shedding their leaves like multicolored tears that dot the outdoor expanse, embracing Autumn like a long-lost lover. Today is gorgeous, a day that should feel like a blessing, and yet, you feel blue.

The reason for your melancholy approaches your carefully curated bubble and pops it, sitting down at the table, uninvited.

“Hey, I didn’t see you at the election after-party the other day.”

Chris’s voice is calm, so you merely clench your jaw and keep from saying anything too unintelligible. “Hey, you read my text and didn’t reply today.”

He doesn’t let the sheepishness cross his features, but has the decency for it to manifest in a light red at the tips of his ears. “I was going to, sorry. I’ve been busy.”

You just can’t help the venom that laces your next words. “You always are.”

Chris shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t get why you always have a problem with me.”

You allow yourself a sharp intake of breath before divulging your current frustrations with him. “I really, really need you to answer me when I ask you something. We represent all of the students in our college. We can’t afford to mess this up.”

Chris rolls his eyes at your words, which makes you even more irritated. “I know.”

“Great. Then we have nothing else to discuss.” You slip your laptop back into your carrier and zip up your backpack, grabbing your phone and pushing your chair in. You don’t spare Chris a glance as you walk towards the door.

“Why can’t we just be friends like before?”

You tense at Chris calling out, but don’t look back to face him. “You should know the answer to that.”

“I really don’t.”

With a scoff, you leave him hanging, pushing open the door and finding somewhere you can actually study without distraction.

It’s only the second day of fourth grade and you already feel so out of place. You moved here over a month and a half ago, in the middle of summer, so you had a lot of time to get used to the town and explore your new home. You enjoyed biking around the neighborhood cul-de-sac all day and discovered a clearing in the woods behind your house, immediately claiming it as your personal hideout. After your parents hosted some of your neighbors’ families for dinner, you even established friendly relations with Soobin, the impossibly shy son of the couple next door.

But your expeditions in school haven’t been as successful. As soon as you stepped into the classroom, it seemed like everyone already had their own friend groups, less than willing to take on a newbie like you. Because all of the seemingly “cool” kids have claimed all of the seats in the back, you sit up front, the desk next to you empty. And although Soobin also attends the same school, he’s in a different homeroom than you, so your in-school interactions are limited to hallway waves and nothing else. To top it all off, your teacher is already talking about long division. What in the world is that?

“Would you like a pudding?”

You turn around to pinpoint the hushed voice that has interrupted the independent classwork time that your teacher allotted. The owner sits right behind you, this kid with dimples and mischievous eyes. You can’t recall his name from when your teacher took attendance in the morning, but you remember him singing a little rhyme to his friends during lunch yesterday. It was cheesy.

The boy holds out a small cup of what looks like Jell-O snack pudding towards you. You accept it, slightly confused at the random gesture. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He folds his hands on his desk, math practice discarded to the side. “You looked hungry.”

He’s watching you intently, waiting for you to eat the pudding. With a sigh, you open and try it, because you are kind of hungry. As soon as your lips gingerly close around the tiny spoon, you grin, because it’s chocolate— your favorite.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Chris,” he replies, obviously delighted by your reaction to the pudding. “Are you new?”

You smile, relieved to finally see a friendly face in your class. “Yeah, I am. Thanks for the pudding.”

“I don’t go anywhere without my trusty pudding cups.”

You don’t say anything, just quietly observing him while savoring the pudding. Chris is a little weird, and maybe too friendly. You're usually careful about this kind of socialization, but he doesn’t seem like a bad person. Chris takes your silence as an opportunity to keep chattering away.

“I notice you sit alone at lunch. You should eat with my friends and me today!” Chris exclaims, earning him a look from your teacher, but he doesn’t notice.

You pretend to contemplate his offer, although you’re secretly elated at the invitation. “Maybe if there’s more pudding.”

“Deal.”

“It looks like the faculty advising problem is sorted. Anything else?”

The Dean of the college closes his laptop and pushes the pair of glasses perched on his nose for the hundredth time in the past hour. The lenses are huge, magnifying his eyes and making them look bugged-out, adding a comical element to his otherwise stony face.

“I was thinking—” You start, taking out your notepad, but the Dean cuts you off, looking at Chris.

“Chris, did you have anything you wanted to say?”

Your cheeks as you avert your gaze shamefully, and all of the other students in the conference room awkwardly stare down at the table. The Dean doesn’t seem to notice your discomfort, however, just intently staring at Chris. For the entire board meeting, you actively participated and made your voice heard, while taking into account others’ concerns and viewpoints.

Meanwhile, Chris had done nothing but squint at the papers in front of him and pretend he knew what was happening. But you’ve always been underestimated just because you’re a woman, and the fact that you’re the only female student body president in the entire history of your university doesn’t help. Of course the Dean would value Chris’s thoughts more. Anyone would.

“Actually, Y/N was saying something. We should let her finish,” Chris replies firmly, shocking you. You thought Chris would just take the opportunity to shine for himself, not hand it to you.

The Dean looks taken aback as well, but he nods slowly. “Very well then.”

Everyone’s attention snaps to you, but you quickly recover and recollect yourself, turning on the professionalism you reserved for moments like this. “Yes. Thank you.”

You open your computer and quickly login, plugging it into the projector so everyone can view your screen. You had already pulled up your presentation and graphics, ready to present your idea.

“What is all of this, Miss Y/L/N?”

You take a deep breath. “A prevailing issue that has come to the board’s attention is the food insecurity on campus. To solve this issue, I propose the University Food Pantry, to relieve hunger through the acquisition and distribution of food to those students who most need it. We need to lead our campus community in the fight against hunger.”

The rest of your audience looks intrigued, but the Dean doesn’t seem convinced. “And how does this concern me? I oversee educational affairs at the college, not what’s cooking for dinner.”

“Our university is, above everything else, a community. The difficulty of higher education is further compounded when hunger is a constant presence.” You try your best to keep your suave composure, ignoring the smug condescension in the Dean’s voice. “As a result, the Food Pantry will envision a campus in which every student, regardless of their socioeconomic status, has sufficient access to nutritious food. No one should have to make financial and dietary decisions in pursuit of a good education.”

“It all sounds expensive. Where would you even get the money from?”

You know that the Dean expects you to be thrown off by his question, but you’re ready. You switch through the slides of your presentation, showcasing the several charts and graphs you stayed up all night drawing. “The Dean’s Assistance Fund, through which the Pantry can provide flex allowances to undergrad recipients of Financial Aid.”

The Dean leans back in his chair, brooding silently while you wait for his answer with bated breath. But Chris speaks up instead.

“This is really good, Y/N,” Chris says, astonishing you even further. “The fund could finance other initiatives in collaboration with the pantry as well, like the university Meal Share app that my friend Jisung coded. He’s in the computer science department.”

“Thanks,” you say warily, still in disbelief that you have both his support and enthusiasm. The other students murmur in agreement, but it doesn’t feel real, getting along with Chris.

Immediately, the Dean sits up, directing his gaze to match Chris’s. “A wonderful idea, Chris. We must talk further about this. Perhaps—”

It’s Chris’s turn to cut the Dean off. “It wasn’t my idea, it was Y/N’s, if you were listening to her at all, sir.”

The Dean looks embarrassed after being put into his place by the very student he was chatting up to, but you don’t give him time to say anything else, taking the chance to continue speaking.

“Of course, we can’t be fully financed by the Dean’s fund, so I think the university board should put forth a collective effort to apply for the Park Grant, an international system that funds programs that address student reform.”

“You’ve put so much thought into this, Y/N,” Mina, one of the board members, says with a smile.

You light up, forgetting the Dean’s less-than-enthused demeanor. “Thank you so much!”

The Dean sighs, staring up at the ceiling, but shrugs, inclining his head in reluctant approval. “The Park Grant deadline is in two days. You’ll have to write up the proposal and present it to the panel.”

You nod vigorously, already mentally adding it to your calendar. “Thank you sir, I know. I won’t disappoint you.”

The Dean points his pretentiously expensive fountain pen at Chris, directing your gaze to his. “But you’ll be presenting with Chris. You’ll oversee this endeavor together.”

Your soaring heart crashes, and you sit up in indignation, because of course there’s a catch. After undermining all of your efforts, the Dean would never trust you to do something like this on your own. And out of everyone, it has to be with Chris.

“Sir, I truly believe I can finish this on my own.” You can barely contain the anger quaking in your throat, but you give it one last attempt.

Chris glances at you and dips his head in accord. “I agree, sir. Y/N is perfectly capable. This is her project, after all.”

“Let’s not go near what our capabilities are. I am very well aware of what your abilities are.” The Dean’s words jab you in the chest one by one, making you wonder if he could go any lower. “You both are co-presidents. Do it together or don’t do it all.”

“Sir—”

“Please give me a chance—”

Both you and Chris are cut off by the Dean’s cold sneer. “That will be all.”

With the wave of his gnarled hands, the meeting is over, and the rest of the students exit as fast as they can to escape the tension, while you just sit there, staring at your black computer screen blankly. A moment later, you collect yourself, grab your belongings, cramming them into your arms, and run out of the room, trying not to cry all of your frustrations out, right then and there.

“Y/N, stop!” Chris calls out from behind you, and you groan inwardly. And of course he has to be there. You can’t even fall apart in peace.

“What do you want, Chris?” You sigh exasperatedly, turning to face him, even though all you really want to do is give him the finger and run back to your room.

The tension is palpable, and you see Chris’s concern. You don’t want it, though. You don’t want his concern, his sympathy, or his friendship. You just want to never see him again, but unfortunately, the universe will not let that happen. You should have accepted that when it put you through elementary, middle, and high school, and even college with him.

“I’m sorry. I- I tried,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft, blond locks flop back into place on his forehead. He looks more beautiful than ever, the sorrow in his deep brown eyes and painted into the pout on his perfect lips. But God, you hate him.

You swallow, taking a step forward. Chris’s eyes widen in surprise, but he stays still as you proceed in an eerily calm voice. “Outside of work, don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me. I hate you, Chris, and I wish you never existed.”

For the first time, Chris is speechless, but you walk away, feeling anything but triumphant. You don’t want to see the hurt splayed across his face. And you don’t want Chris to see your own pain, the ugly root that digs deep into your heart and surges through your fingertips, the pain that has been there since the moment he took something from you. You hate Chris, and that will never, ever change.

“Come on, Soobin, tell me,” you whine, lightly kicking your legs at Soobin’s, where they hang over the edge of the treehouse you both built with your dads a few summers ago. The June weather is hot and sticky, and on days like this, you both like to climb up here and try to catch the faintest breeze that may come your way, ice creams in your hands and stories to trade on your lips.

Soobin coughs awkwardly. “Absolutely not, Y/N.”

Tomorrow is the last day of middle school, and you’re determined to guess Soobin’s crush. You smirk at him, elbowing him in the side. Today, you suck on a blueberry popsicle, deliberating while trying not to let the dessert drip down your arms.

“It’s the girl in your history class, isn’t it?”

“Nope.” Soobin side eyes you curiously, biting down on his own fudge ice cream cone. “Well, maybe I’ll tell you if you tell me yours.”

You blush, your mind immediately going to Chris, the boy you’ve liked since forever. Although you’re best friends with Soobin, Chris is also one of your good friends at school. And not to mention, the cutest boy in your entire school.

Besides Soobin, Chris is also the only other person you’ve told about your autism. You were always shy and awkward growing up, and Chris pulled you out of that shell.

It’s also why you get so nervous before tests. Since the time you nearly dropped your computer before a science quiz in fifth grade, Chris always brings you pudding before class assessments. You were scared to tell him at first, because you have been bullied in the past about it, but he had been nothing but kind and understanding. He’s never forgotten to bring you a pudding cup, and he specifically brings chocolate-flavored ones only, because you once told him you liked them.

“You can’t tell anyone,” you swallow the last chunk of your popsicle, crunching down on the sugary ice.

“I promise.” Soobin sits forward eagerly, his melting ice cream cone forgotten.

“It’s Chris,” you say dreamily, a lovesick smile playing upon your lips.

Soobin burst out laughing, elbowing you in the side teasingly. “I knew it!”

You and Soobin start arguing about who was more obvious about their respective crushes, but the thought of Chris stays lingering in your mind and clouding your thoughts. His devilishly handsome looks but angelic personality. The way he brings you those damn chocolate puddings, unaware of how you got sick of the flavor a long time ago but keep eating them anyway, just to see the beaming smile on his face.

“Tomorrow,” you exclaim randomly, right after Soobin finishes telling you about all of the teachers he will miss over the summer, the perfect student he is.

“What’s tomorrow?”

“I’m going to tell Chris that I like him. Tomorrow,” you declare, trying to keep your voice strong and purposeful.

Soobin just stares at you with his jaw hanging open, because while you aren’t as soft-spoken as him, neither of you are particularly forward. Especially not in regard to your romantic lives. You both are the duo that watches your lost loves from afar, not confronting them up close. You’re surprised at your uncharacteristic behavior too, because you pledged to never give a teenage boy the satisfaction of knowing the power they have over you, especially not someone popular like Chris. But then again, Chris is different. You know it.

“Are you actually serious right now?” Soobin asks, still in shock. “Like, are you joking?”

“I’m serious, Soobin. I really like him.” You toy with your stained popsicle stick. “If he doesn’t feel the same, then I can just move on.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

He reaches over and gently pats you on the back, as if to comfort your nerves. “He’d be really dumb to not like you.”

You groan and flop onto your back, looking up at the dusty ceiling of the treehouse. Both of you just stay quiet for a moment, as you observe the soft cobwebs in the corners and the sunlight pouring through the cracks in the wooden rafters. You’re really going to do this.

“I’m still hungry.”

Soobin holds out his half-finished cone, little droplets of ice cream dripping onto the wood. “You can have the rest of this.”

“Thanks, Soob.” You accept his ice cream and both of you continue to reminisce about the school year and plan out everything you probably will never do during the summer, because both of you are master procrastinators.

But one thing you can’t put off is your revelation to Chris, and it’s going to happen. Which is why you find yourself trying to ignore the impending feeling of dread as you walk through the school hallways. Classes are over for both the day and the entire academic year itself, and there’s no better time to confess to your crush on the last day of school. That way, if something goes wrong, you can take the summer to recuperate and wallow in your humiliation.

You weave through the students excited to trade their homework assignments for sunny days at the beach, with only one thought in your mind. Chris, Chris, Chris. You saw him in math class in the morning, and he looked so cute in his new Hawaiian-print shorts while he signed your yearbook for you. Now, you try to find him in the crowd, before he leaves and you’ll be unable to see him for another three months.

As you search, you’re momentarily snapped out of your Chris-induced daze when you bump into Jessi Ho in the congested hall. Knowing your luck, of course you would crash into the loser who constantly picks on Soobin for being shy.

“Watch it, dumbass.” Jessi crosses her arms and flips her hair over her shoulder. Jay, her wannabe sidekick, gets up in your face, threateningly flashing the tattoos he got without his parents knowing. Although they look like a classic pair of bullies straight out of Mean Girls, you’re more irritated than intimidated right now.

“I don’t have time for this.” You try to move past the terrible twosome, but Jay grasps your forearm roughly and pulls you back. You wrench your arm free and look at him in both disgust and confusion. “What the hell?”

“I’ll get to the point.” Jessi smirks, bringing her finger up to her head and pointing to her temple. “We know you’re impaired. Up here.”

Your blood freezes over like a river of ice, when Jessie emphasizes that specific word. Even though you’re not impaired, because autism isn’t an intellectual disability, you know what she means. She says it like an insult, like you’re the most useless of garbage, not worth a human being’s basic dignity. Jay bursts out laughing when he sees the horror on your face, slapping his distressed denim thigh like it’s the funniest joke he’s heard in the fifteen miserable years of his life. You just stumble back, shock and panic rising like a tidal wave in your chest.

“W-what?”

Jessi cackles, clinging onto Jay like he’s her own walking cane. “How cute. She looks so lost.”

You shake your head, the tears building and your throat seizing in alarm. “How…?”

“A little birdie told me.” Jessi steps closer to you, and while every other time you are able to stand up to her, you can barely look her in the eye right now. “It all makes so much sense. Why do you barely talk to anyone but your pathetic bestie? You’re too scared. Why can you never sit still in class? You're just stupid.”

“That- that’s not how it works.”

You’re grasping at straws, at a loss for words. Any other time, you’d have a snappy comeback ready. You know you struggle with social interactions, but you never thought of yourself as someone disruptive, or weird. You’re one of the highest achievers in your entire school, because sometimes, books make more sense than people. But now? You do feel stupid, exactly like Jessi said. And not because you’re autistic, but because you weren’t careful enough. You’ve been underestimated your entire life because you’re a girl, but now, you know you’ll also be an autistic girl to everyone else. Not who you are. And that’s why you tried your best to keep it on the down low, not because you felt embarrassed, but because this was a part of yourself that was entitled to you. Not anyone else.

“Sure, okay.” Jessi looks bored already, her eyes unfocused roaming the hallway, looking for her next target. “Whatever, stupid.”

Jessi slinks off without a second glance, and Jay follows suit, but not before doing a disgustingly inaccurate impression of autists, speaking gibberish slowly and exaggeratedly. You actually speak faster than other people, because you always say whatever is on your mind. But you don’t give a crap about them right now. Bullies like them will always have the worst to talk about others, and you would rather die than have them be the cause of your tears, ever. What’s really bothering you is who told them about your autism, and how that mystery person found out.

Swallowing roughly, you run over to the bathrooms, forgetting anything else. The only thing on your mind is not losing it in front of everyone. You will not give any of these people the satisfaction. Trying to keep your breathing even, you’re about to enter the bathrooms and relieve your emotions when you hear someone say your name. It doesn’t sound deliberate however, like you weren’t supposed to hear it.

You turn slowly, searching through the swaths of people walking, when your gaze lands on a small group of people gathered at the end of the hallway, a few lockers away from where you’re standing. And his back facing you, but you immediately recognize the person speaking. After the previous year of sitting behind him in Geometry class, you would recognize his curly locks perpetually dyed a soft blond and preppy polo shirt anywhere. Your ears perk up in interest, and while you feel horrible, you know one of Chris’s dimpled smiles would immediately brighten your stormy day, as they always did.

“Tell us the truth Chris!” You hear someone screech like an eager toddler, and you stop in your tracks like a deer in a traffic jam. It can’t be.

“Fine, Y/N is autistic...”

Everyone around Chris bursts into uproarious laughter, and while you can’t see his expression, Chris begins saying something else that’s drowned out by all of the noise. It was Chris. He told everyone about your autism. Chris, the sweetheart who brings you pudding. Chris, the pretty boy who you have a hopeless crush on. Chris, your friend.

You stumble back and are pushed back into the after-school hallway rush, losing sight of Chris. But you already saw everything you needed to. It would have hurt less if it was anyone but Chris. But it wasn’t. You liked him. You trusted him. And he took that trust and stomped on it, shattering it forever. He took something from you.

Your heart hardens as you blink away your tears. You mindlessly make your way outside, just in time to catch your bus home. Looking out of the window, with your time and your spirit petrified, you resolve to never, ever make the same mistake again. You will never again put your faith in someone who does not deserve it.

“You look hungry.”

You momentarily glance away from your laptop screen to shoot Chris a withering look that could scare a bear. Things are back to normal since your emotional confrontation after the Dean’s meeting. Your rude remarks and his annoyingly cooperative advances are both back for good.

“Shut the fuck up.”

The blistering ice in your voice doesn’t stop Chris from unzipping his backpack and pulling out one of his damn puddings. With a scoff, you turn back to your spreadsheet, taking care to shoot disgusting looks at Chris periodically. Chris just takes his time savoring his pudding, innocently watching your reactions like you’re a goddamn television set.

The hours pass by quickly; you get a good amount of work done, while Chris tries to be helpful by asking useless questions and doing nothing else. Typical. After finishing up a final follow-up email to the Dean’s much more tolerable secretary, you stretch out your arms with a yawn. The library will be closing in a few minutes.

“Where are you going?” Chris’s voice is interrogative as you stand up, like you owe him an answer, which makes you see red. If anything, he is the one who should be giving you an explanation, perhaps why he has to be such a two-faced monstrosity who wants to pretend everything is fine and in the past.

Screw civility.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your royal dopiness. I didn’t know I needed your permission to go home.” Your words are filled with a sickening sarcasm, and fortunately, it’s enough to shut Chris up.

You grab your belongings and stalk out of the personal meeting room that you reserved, barely noticing that everyone else sitting at the previously crowded study spaces has already left. Once in the security of the library bathrooms, you exhale all of the tension you’ve held inside of you and splash cool water onto your heated face.

You stare into the mirror, seeing the same girl you’ve been trying to leave behind all of this time. You feel like that lost little girl trying to clutch the thought of someone who should be forgotten. You hate that you still have hope in you, that you’ve had it all of these years, that things can be fixed. You’ve tried, you really have. You’ve tried to leave the past behind you, to look forward and do exactly what needs to be done for your success. Here’s the truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because he sucks and you hate him. Here’s another truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because… you’re hurt.

Especially because of your autism, you’ve had a more difficult run at making meaningful relationships. Your friendship with Chris meant that there was hope for you, and you truly believed that. But then he betrayed you, making you doubt yourself and your abilities. And following the incident, it felt like the world was working against you, and it still does. Maybe you could have healed with time, but the universe had other plans, taking care to put you through high school and college with Chris. And with your rotten luck, he’ll probably end up going to the same law school as you.

But you don’t have the time to worry about that right now. Your future depends on the present, and you’ll do your best to remember that. Your productivity mantra will keep you going, and nothing can stop you, from Christopher Bang to misogynistic old deans to… a locked bathroom door?

“What the hell?” You tug on the handle, but the door won’t budge.

Fuck.

You were so occupied with Chris that you forgot that after hours, all of the doors automatically lock to preserve campus security. Screw modern technology. You’re about to pull out your phone to try and call someone, but when your fingers meet an empty pocket, you realize you left it in your apartment. With an exasperated groan, you bang against the door as hard as you can and shout for help, even though you know it’s impossible for anyone to hear you and open the door from outside, the only way to free you. After a few minutes, you give up and slide down onto the floor, knowing you’ll have to spend the rest of this godforsaken night in this stuffy bathroom. Even if you somehow eventually gain the strength to bust this stupid door down, there was no getting past the padlocked main library doors. But seriously, which genius had the idea to lock the freaking bathroom doors?

You close your eyes and place your hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself down. You’re perfectly safe. Alone in a big, empty library. Soon, the bathroom lights will shut down, probably. You wouldn’t know for sure, though. You’ve never been locked in the damn library bathroom before. Perhaps you’ll make friends with the old campus ghosts rumored to haunt this building. And maybe—

The click and turn of the door handle startles you, and you immediately jump out of the way, so your designated savior can let you out. And you’re not even surprised when your eyes meet Chris’s own confused ones. Because of course it’s Chris.

“Why are you still here?” You ask him in a slightly accusing tone, even though he literally has just helped you. You don’t even know why you feel the need to be so pointed, but you are nevertheless.

“I was waiting for you to come back and didn’t realize the library was closed.” Chris lets out a sigh, rubbing his forehead as if it aches. You hope it does. “I have a question about the proposal.”

“Did you try calling someone? I forgot my phone.”

“Well, my phone doesn’t have any service.”

“Awesome.”

You don’t say anything further as you both exit the cramped corridor outside of the bathroom. In your hurry, you hadn’t even noticed how the librarians had turned off the lights, shrouding the building in darkness. Shivering, you subconsciously move closer to Chris, before you realize yourself and make sure to maintain a six-feet distance between your body and his.

“You can come closer if you’re scared,” Chris teases, noticing your discomfort. “We’re both stuck in this library together.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, please. You’re the one who’s scared of the dark.”

Both of you fall silent as the remembrance sinks in. The day you confided in Chris about your autism, he had shared a secret about himself in return, albeit a less serious one. He had an irrational fear of the dark since he was a small child, and you knew any other fourth grader would have made fun of him for it. You had felt happy, then, that he could confide in you.

The inadvertent memory feels unwelcome, uncomfortable. Chris clears his throat and looks away. “Not anymore.”

You and Chris decide to make camp in the library common room, since although the main building lights wouldn’t work, there were a few soft table lamps you could turn on for some clarity. You set your backpack down on the carpeted ground and snuggle into the large armchair by one of the bigger lamps. You glance at the decorative grandfather clock in the corner of the room, and it’s just past midnight. At that moment, you really just want to go home, put on your favorite pajamas, and fall asleep while watching your list of comfort anime films. Definitely not being locked in the damn library with Chris Bang, of all people. Since when was your life an episode of Arthur?

“So, you wanted to ask me something?”

Chris fiddles with his hands for a minute, before looking away. “Never mind.”

You don’t even have it in you to be annoyed at this point. You’re just exhausted. You fall back against the tough cushion of the chair. It feels like you’re sitting on a clothed bag of sawdust. But it’s better than being out there, in the dark. And you hate to admit it, but you’re glad that you have someone to share the company of an empty library with, even if it’s Chris.

“God, I’m hungry.” You touch your stomach, feeling the gnawing emptiness there.

“Would you like a—”

“No, I would not like a pudding, Chris.”

The minutes eventually tick by, and you feel yourself nodding off. You had told yourself earlier that you would stay alert, but the drowsiness drapes over you like a blanket, lulling you into reluctant sleep.

The menacing roll of thunder snaps you out of your uneasy slumber like the sound of a car crash. Immediately, you double over and tuck your head into your arms, trying to breathe. Your hands, warmed from being pressed under your thighs, go clammy with a cold sweat, and you can feel the tears well, barely keeping them at bay. When your go-to breathing technique doesn’t work, you gasp for air, jerking in your seat at every new crack of thunder invading your perception.

Immediately, Chris crosses the space between your chairs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hold. Sometimes, thunderstorms cause you to have a sensory overload, and you can’t cope. Chris knows this about you, after you got severely spooked after one particularly bad storm in the middle of class in sixth grade. Chris continues to rock your body slowly with his, whispering calming nothings into your ear. Your breathing slows and returns to a normal pace, but Chris just keeps rubbing slow, comforting circles on your back.

Soon, the sound of the thunder dissipates, but you’re not entirely sure if it’s actually because the storm ended or if it’s because the overwhelming scent of Chris’s fresh, minty cologne has taken over your senses.

You look up at Chris, the boy you hate more than anything, and whisper the very last thing that you ever thought you would say to him. “Thank you.”

Chris just nods his head slowly while you untangle yourself from his hold. He gets the hint and lets you scoot away from him, but it’s not far enough. Mere inches separate you from Chris, Chris who helped you without second thought because you were having a panic attack. Forget every ounce of hostility you have shown him, he hugged you like he was your lifeline, which he nearly could have been.

He looks at you intently, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Why do you hate me so much?”

He’s asked this question multiple times before. The first time was back on the very first day of high school, when you both had English class together, and you staunchly ignored him. He continued to ask you the same thing over and over again, until your lack of acknowledgement made him finally stop and accept your new attitude towards him. But even though you’ve heard this question before, this time feels different. There is a certain vulnerability to his words, like he’s given up and is pleading for one last chance.

A part of you still wants to try and maintain the animosity you use as a protective barrier, so people can’t tell what you’re really feeling. But you’re just tired of it all, and the question tugs at you too. Maybe you need to reply out loud for both of you to hear, not just him. Maybe you need to affirm your hatred for the dumb boy who waited for you to come back from the bathroom and then held you during a thunderstorm. Or maybe you need to affirm the fact that you may not hate him as much as you think, but you still do. You don’t know. You hate him the most because you don’t know. So, for the first time, you answer him.

“You broke my trust, Chris.”

“When?” Chris looks genuinely perplexed, like he has no idea what you’re talking about.

With a scoff, you glare up at the ceiling, unable to look him in the eye. “You told everyone about my autism. When I specifically said that I wanted to keep it a secret.”

He shakes his head in a vigorous panic. “I didn’t tell anyone. I promise I didn’t. I promise it wasn’t me.”

Then who was it?

As if he hears your thoughts, Chris sighs and indulges them. “Jessi. She saw your aide and followed him to his office. She was telling everyone about it, I swear.”

And it makes sense. His explanation checks out, and this all could have been a grand misunderstanding on your part, because of course Jessi would have snooped into your business. You couldn’t save your privacy for long with someone like Jessi hovering. And the thing is, you’re not even surprised. You knew in your heart the entire time that you could have been mistaken, that it was strange that Chris would have violated you like that, but it was just easier to blame him for your pain instead of confronting it. Or so you thought.

“And when everyone found out, I tried defending you. I never, ever would want to hurt you. Please believe me.”

Chris’s eyes are shining with earnesty, and you know he’s telling the truth. But that doesn’t erase all of the years you were hurting. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“It didn��t even occur to me that it was the reason you stopped talking to me. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder.”

You close your eyes and lean back. “Chris, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. This is on me.”

You feel your hatred towards Chris fade, and all there is left in you is a deflated pocket of sorrow. Your whole goal was to stay focused, but in reality, you’ve put so much time and energy into despising Chris. And that wasn’t the only way you hurt yourself. You also deprived yourself of what could have been a wonderful friendship.

“I do,” Chris insists, interrupting your thoughts. “I was stupid. I gave up so quickly. It hurt me too, not just you.”

You raise your head and tiredly gaze at him. Even in the dark, he looks beautiful. And it’s not merely his looks, but truly his character that shines through. You spent hours picking apart his personality, trying to find flaws and reasons to demonize him, not knowing that in the process, you were the monster yourself. You constantly complained about his lack of initiative and response, when in reality, you never let him actually do anything. You can’t even fathom why he’s being so understanding, or all of his attempts to work with you, even after your cold treatment of him.

“What do you mean, Chris?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Chris groans. “I used to like you. There.”

You perk up. Well, now you’re shocked. “Wait, really? I used to like you, too!”

There’s disbelief written all over Chris’s face. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

Both of you burst into laughter, like you weren’t having a heart-to-heart five minutes ago about hating the other. It feels good to laugh, and for a second, you’re transported back into fourth grade, when you first met Chris.

When you were a kid, you barely laughed, which worried the crap out of your parents. The doctors said it was common among individuals with autism, but it didn’t seem that way when you walked around, unsmiling and unfeeling. You weren’t completely socially inept, or exactly shy, but you preferred to keep to yourself. And then Chris had offered you a pudding. You felt like friendship was worth something, then. You felt seen. And maybe that scared you a little bit, being on the edge with someone who made you feel so deliciously raw. Maybe that’s why you didn’t fight back for Chris, because you would rather leave than be left.

Chris rakes his fingers through his hair, the ghost of a smile playing upon his lips. “You know, I still like you.”

“Very funny.”

“I do.”

“You’re crazy. Stop that.”

“Maybe.” Chris throws his hands up and then lets them fall back down. “I like you and don’t want to stop.”

“After how I treated you for the past eight years?” You nearly laugh with how ridiculous he’s being. Hell, if you were in his place, you’d hate yourself.

“But you were hurt. A lot.” Chris shrugs. “You’ve become this amazing woman. You’re… incredible. Hardworking, talented, smart. Keeping in mind how you truly believed I was the cause for your pain, you excelled in spite of the fact that the universe kept pulling us together.”

You shake your head. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay. I’ll say it for you.” Chris looks down at his palms. “I like you, and that’s why I became co-president and faked having no service on my phone so we would be stuck in a library together.”

“Chris—”

“Please. Don’t say no. Not after eight years of me pining for you, knowing you’d never look at me again. Knowing I was falling deeper every time you cursed at me. Please, Y/N. I want to know you again, and you to know me. Please.” Chris’s expression is begging, and it pains you even more.

You still hurt, but it’s a different kind of torture. It’s the kind of hurt that’s the result of yearning, the kind of yearning that stems from hatred, subjugated love, and uncertain acceptance. It’s the kind of hurt that tells you that you don’t deserve him. He deserves someone who isn’t a complete and utter coward. Someone who hasn’t been completely and utterly in love with him all this time, but too stubborn and too pained to admit it. Someone who isn’t completely and utterly awed by the magnificent man he is, but too bitter to say it.

Chris reaches out his hand and places it on the side of your face, imploring you with his hesitant palm. You melt into his touch, when a mere few hours ago, you would have slapped it off of you. His skin is warm against yours, and the softness radiating from him pulls at you. You want to say yes. You want to open a blank page in the book. You want to start fresh with this beautiful boy in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” And you’re not just apologizing for pushing him away before, but now too. You don’t get to have him.

“Just… why?”

“I can’t. I’m so sorry.” The repeated dialogue from you has a note of finality that even Chris’s insolence can’t break through.

And just like that, all of the bridges you both repaired come crumbling down, but this time, it’s on purpose. You’ve always been quick to make decisions, never mulling over a choice for too long. You loved Chris. You hated Chris. You still love Chris. But you reject Chris. It’s easy to do, like one computer command after the other. But then Chris retracts his touch and wordlessly gets up from the armchair, curling up into his original position in the other chair. He’s facing away from you, you feel like you’ve struck an error message. The hours pass, and the softly snoring form of Chris reminds you of a blaring bad request, a pile of code that just won’t compile. Eventually, your computer shuts down too, and you share a temporary commonality with Chris when you fall asleep.

“Wake up dear.”

Your eyes fly open, and you sit up. Natural light pours in through the big windows, and you can feel your skin drinking in the sunshine. The librarian’s kind eyes are watching you with worry, but all you can think of is the night before. Perhaps it was all a dream. You were angry at Chris and then fell asleep after coming back from the bathroom. End of story. But then you feel that familiar ache in your heart, and you know you weren’t hallucinating everything that transpired between you both.

You turn to look at the librarian, who still seems immensely concerned, especially with your disoriented morning look. “I’m sorry, where is Chris?”

“He just left a few minutes ago, sweetheart. I was opening up for the day, when I saw him waiting to be let out at the front entrance. Nearly scared the life out of me.” The librarian places her hand on your shoulder. “He told me you were here.”

The librarian rushes off to her personal office to make you some tea, and you’re left alone in the common room. And no one else is here either, because today is Saturday and your university is supposed to be hosting a football game against a rival school. You look down at your body and notice a jacket wrapped around your body, one that definitely isn’t yours. You don’t have an expensive leather jacket that smells like Tom Ford cologne. It was freezing last night because the library doesn’t have heating, and Chris must have woken up in the middle of the night and draped it on you. You feel another pang in your heart as you think of Chris leaving without speaking to you. You deserve it, though.

As you sadly walk out of the library, you decide to skip the game even though as student body president, you should be there, representing the school. You reach your off-campus apartment, the one that you were so excited to finally lease a few months ago, and sprawl onto your couch, already feeling weary of the day. Nevertheless, you fish your phone out of the jumble of couch pillows and call Soobin, because he must be worried sick. You always text him goodnight before you sleep, and yesterday must have been the first time you didn’t.

“How could you?” He’s angry, a new color on him.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. The library—” You start, but Soobin doesn’t let you finish.

“Forget the library! I’m talking about Chris. He’s stepping down from the president role because of you, Y/N!” Soobin screeches into the phone, making you shoot up in alarm.

“What?!”

“I overheard him tell everything to Jisung. Y/N, this is wrong.” Soobin sounds calmer, but nonetheless distressed. “I know you love him. You shouldn’t let this happen.”

Your face heats up in surprise. “How—”

You hear Soobin tsk, and you just know he’s shaking his head, disappointed. “I didn’t even have to hear him talk to know that. There’s a fine line between love and hate. You can never stop talking about him!”

There’s no denying it now. You shouldn’t have underestimated Soobin; no matter how silly he can be, he is your best friend in the whole world after all. And maybe all the time, the only one you were lying to was yourself.

You grab a pillow and cradle it, just wanting to cry it all out. You always have more intense feelings than others, but right now, your heart hurts so much that you doubt you can blame being emotional on your autism.

“Soobin, what do I do? I don’t want to hurt him, but…” You sniffle. “I didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself. For eight years, I made my whole personality hate Chris. And now, he forgives me and I accept it? I’m so stupid, God.”

“I agree you’re stupid.”

“You’re not making me feel better!”

“Sorry.” Soobin sighs. “But you need to get over yourself and your drama. Stop making this harder for both of you, and just be grateful that you haven’t lost him. Yet.”

And with that, he cuts the call in a way very unlike Soobin, making you groan out loud in frustration. Now you want to punch your pillow, because your best friend is absolutely right.

It doesn’t take long for you to find Chris in the packed stadium. Through the throngs of students eager to trade their homework for a good home game, you see him standing with one of his friends in an upper corner of the stands. When you were younger, you were obsessed with Greek mythology and thought that Chris looked like Apollo, the god of the sun, with his golden curls and sunny disposition. Today, his light seems to have dimmed, as he watches the ongoing game with his hands shoved into his pockets and a forlorn look marking his gaze.

“Chris!” You shout to try and get his attention, but it’s to no avail. The cheering crowd is ear-splitting, and you have no other choice but to climb up to the top.

Grunting, you hoist yourself up the steep stairs and try not to look behind you. If you do, you’ll fall off the stands with dizziness, which would be slightly undesirable compared to what you have to do next. Slightly. With the final step, you haul into Chris’s row, catching your breath and a first glimpse at how high up you really are. The players on the field look like tiny ants, and you feel your stomach drop. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

But it’s too late to turn back now, because Chris has already spotted you and hurries over. You tense and lose your footing, stumbling over someone as they kick their legs in anticipation. Great.

“What are you doing here?” Chan places a toned arm around your shoulders and pulls you up, leading you to his seat. You clumsily collapse into the solid, curved plastic of the chair, and Chris follows next to you.

You then notice Chris’s friend, a heartbreakingly handsome man who you vaguely remember as Minho from your sophomore year literature class. He’s wistfully gazing at a very pretty girl who is chatting with Terry, Soobin’s old roommate, a few rows down. Minho then becomes aware of your presence and hurriedly excuses himself, rushing out of the aisle and disappearing into the crowd. You turn to Chris.

“Is he okay?”

Chris exhales, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft locks flop back into place on his forehead. “I… Minho’s just going through some stuff right now.”

“Seems like he’s not the only one.” You toy with your ring, twisting it around your finger. “I heard you’re resigning.”

“Who told you that?”

“Soobin. He was eavesdropping on you and Jisung today in Morningstar,” you respond. “Why are you leaving the role?”

Chris looks away from you and out at the field. Your university’s football team still hasn’t scored. “I’d just be in your way. This is for the best, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Please don’t. I need you.”

“You’ll be fine.”

This is what you thought you wanted all along, a world without Chris in it. Besides Student Council, neither of you share any classes or activities this year. If he left, you wouldn’t have to cross paths with him again. You could run the council well on your own, you know that. But you don't want to. You don’t ever want to imagine a world without Chris. He’s been by your side for so long now, and now when he’s about to step away do you truly realize how much you need him.

“Maybe. But I won’t be happy.” Against your better judgment, you reach over and grasp his hand, making Chris start in surprise.

Chris shakes his head, still skeptical. “All I’ve ever done is make you unhappy, Y/N. You don’t want me to be around.”

You sigh, knowing he’s not going to come around, not without the right kind of persuasion. “I was dreading having to do this.”

“Do what?”

You reach into the small purse hanging off of your shoulder and pull what you had scoured the entire city for in the past few hours. “Would you like a pudding?”

Chris looks bemused, staring down at the small cup of chocolatey goodness in the delicate palm of your hand.

“Or do you want a kiss?” You stare at Chris intently, trying to ignore the whammering beat of your heart. “What will it take for you to stay in your position?”

“W-what?”

“Or I could be your girlfriend. Because I really want to see where this goes.” You take a deep breath. “A bunny once told me that I just need to get out of the past. I’ve left it behind, and I’m looking forward, Chris.”

“Fine.” Chris swallows roughly and bites back the slow smile spreading on his features. “Can I have all three?”

“You never make it easy, do you, Chris?”

Before he can quip back at you, you grasp the collar of his t-shirt and tug him to you, your lips meeting just as the home team finally scores a touchdown and the crowd erupts in applause. You couldn’t care less though, because although the preteen you is jumping up and down like the rest of the cheering fans, the adult you is smiling into the lips of the man you definitely do not hate. Actually, you love him.

Chris slings his arms around your waist and pulls your body closer to his, sweetly laughing into your ear when you both come up for air. “Am I a good kisser, or what?”

“Shut up.”

And you’re kissing him again. Warmth blossoms in your chest, sparks igniting as you lean into each other after years of loving, hating, and longing. Your arms roving over each other coax all and any remaining hesitation left in you both, and it feels so right. You treasure the soft sighs of pleasure and elation spilling from Chris’s lips, his sounds more deafening than any overzealous football fan’s rally cry.

“So, do I not get the pudding, or…?” Dimples cut across Chris’s cheeks as he pulls away from your lips once more just to shoot you a cheeky grin.

You roll your eyes playfully and reach into your lap, tearing open the foil wrapper on top of the pudding cup before handing it to him. “You and your pudding.”

“You know you love it.”

Check out the rest of boys' stories on Love Playlist!

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

TAGLIST @chansburgah @hee0soo @hamburgers101 @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98@ohish@anyamaris@chizumiyoshi@lilydaisyyy@lollloll9090@jetblackbelle

If you’d like to join my taglist, click here!

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

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kidrauhlschik · 1 year

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~ Impudent ~ Kim Seungmin SMAU

adjective

im·pu·dent

marked by contemptuous or cocky boldness or disregard of others : INSOLENT

He never needed anyone, never has and never will. At least that’s how his schoolmates describe him. Kim Seungmin has been the college it boy the second he set a foot on campus. People either love him or hate him, y/n happened to fall in the ladder.

So of course, as fate would have it, they get paired together for their senior thesis. Just when she thought her life couldn’t get any more stressful, she now has to work with the rich, entitled guy who always had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

She was not going to let that happen this time.

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, humor, crack, enemies to lovers, non-idol!au, insecurities, college!au seungmin is very annoying and so are his group of friends, we love them though. lmk if you think i missed anything!

A/N: This is my first official SMAU. Super hyped! Thank you if you read this far!!

TAGLIST IS NOW OPEN :)

~ Introduction:

baboracha - self made kings

~ Chapters:

01. be so fucking fr rn

02. i hope you choke

03. ur the same as them lol

04. oF cOurSe yOu dO

05. r u dumb?

06. 3RACHA

07. Block me

08. stupid feud

09. ugly smile

10. No murder?

11. you inspire me

12. Like. Together?

13. I’m going to bleach my eyeballs

14. But separately

15. Rich people are wild.

16. still an asshole

17. Let me in

18. Let me in. (2)

19. Cool

20. Ouch.

21. WUJANSKAISJA

22. Crew Profiles

23. Impudent.

~ ALTERNATIVE ENDING:

PICKS UP RIGHT AFTER CHAPTER 19

20. the rat went home

21.

TAGLIST: @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats@lethallyprotected @ohish @whiplaaaaaaaaash@iadorethemskz @dawnandyoongi @karma1289 @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lixie-phoria @uno7 @https-skzology @leebitsimpracha @hanniesss @mchslut @vixensss @eeeeeeeeeeeeweeeeeeepeeeeee @the-universe-is-complicated @nocturnalscribbler @chaotickyrith @seungminsdreamwife @ksywoo @smally97 @vallenciagaa @hyundumpling @jaembby @a-l-i-y-a @habeyhanp @hyundumpling @jaembby @minhaurloml @idkwimdahyd @morningstardada @hyunsungbased @foxxxface @slay-and-gay @strawberry-shortest-cake @vixensss

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #kpop imagine #seungmin x reader #seungmin imagine #seungmin x you #college!au #stray kids smau #seungmin smau #social media au #stray kids x reader #bang chan #changbin #jeongin #lee know #han jisung #hyunjin #felix #rich kids

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facioleeknow · 2 months

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Always right ° Bang Chan

You and Chan are at a party and things get very steamy ;)

WC: 1263 Genre: College AU, smut 18+ ONLY

TW: drinking, partying, dry humping, talks of sex, tipsy chan and reader, chan cums in his pants and he is very hot, mention of masturbation, sort of public sex

A/N: this mf lifts 140kg, he's insane and he wants me dead. Also reblogs and comments are highly appreciated since I am running a little low on confidence and inspiration, thank you <3.

The party was officially over. Red solo cups laid on the floor, abandoned and crinkled. The music was faint and so were the lights, if you weren’t so close to Chan you wouldn’t have been able to see him clearly. You and him were the only ones left at his house, at least the only ones awake. One or two people were sprawled down on the pool chairs, fully passed out, last time you checked.

Chan gave off heat in waves, his warmth seeped into your bones, giving you a sense of tranquility and helping you with the chilly night air coming from the open window. A half empty bottle of soju was passed between you two, every sip made you more lightheaded and warm. Your cheeks shined a bright red and your eyes twinkled.

An invisible bubble wrapped around you, making the intimacy in the air even more pronounced. Rivers of words flew out of your mouth with ease; you could never stop talking when you were together, a gift from being friends for a decade.

“What would you do if you were a man for a day?” asked Chan with a giggle when you made a face.

“Ew, I would never want to be a man for a day, that’s nasty.”

“It’s just a what if situation,” he giggled even more at your antics.

“Honestly?” you looked at him, with your lips pursed.

“Honestly,” he was now facing you. His red cheeks matched yours, a wide grin on his face.

“I would beat my meat the whole day.”

Chan choked on the liquor, a loud laugh resonating in his chest.

“You’re a pervert.”

“I’m not,” you argued, “being a woman and cumming most of the time are not compatible things. And also, don’t pretend like you wouldn’t spend the whole day with a hand down your pants if you were a woman,” you quipped back.

“Alright you got me, but I would do it for science, so I could pleasure my hook ups more,” he stated matter of factly. Your face must have reflected how unimpressed you were because Chan giggled once more and sipped at the bottle of alcohol.

“What about communication, Christopher? Maybe if you want to know what a girl likes, you should ask her.”

“You’re right.”

“As always.”

Giggles escaped both of your lips. He was even closer to you now, his breath tickled your face; you swore you saw his eyes glance down at your lips and then up again at your eyes, but then again it could’ve been the liquor talking.

“Have you got any more silly questions or what ifs for me?” his eyes weren’t your main focus anymore, your eyes were glued to his lips. The plush flesh of his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth, a smile still present.

“Are you attracted to me?” You huffed at the boy’s question.

“That’s a dumb question, Christopher. You are a handsome and muscly man who is also very caring and kind, every girl in our college is attracted to you.”

His eyes twinkled, from the alcohol and in amusement. He put the bottle down next to him.

“Are you though?”

“As I said, every girl in our college is attracted to you, and I am a girl in college, so..” you trailed off. Chan’s warm hand found the expanse of your thigh, his thumb gently rubbed your skin. Your breath hitched in your throat but you contained yourself, skinship wasn’t unusual for you two, especially since he was a real cuddle bug.

“Then,” he face was so near yours that your noses almost touched, “are you sexually attracted to me?”

His words shocked you and you slightly widened your eyes. His wicked side only came out once in a while, but you have always enjoyed it. If Christopher wanted to play then you would do the same.

“Are you?” Your eyes fixed on each other’s faces, trying to see who would break first.

“Should we fuck?” you giggled loudly. Something shifted in Chan’s eyes after your question, they became dark and full of lust. You had never seen him like that, but you couldn't say that you minded.

“I thought you would never ask, baby.”

His big hands wrapped around your waist and carefully lifted you in his lap. The move felt effortless, your weight didn’t affect him at all, you were as light as a kitten. That made you incredibly wet, the gym had definitely paid off.

“You said communication is important, tell me what to do then baby,” his lips inched closer and closer to your ear. A delicate kiss was placed behind your earlobe and it made your pussy throb with need. You should’ve been ashamed at how fast you were getting worked up but it was Chris who was working you up and also you were way too horny to care.

“Kiss me please.”

The boy under you slowly reached for your lips and laid a chaste, soft kiss on your awaiting lips. His lips were soft and plump, they felt heavenly, you couldn’t help but wonder what they would feel like on your pussy, wrapped around your little clit,

The kiss was fast and sweet but soon after came a second and a third and soon your lips were molded together. His tongue peaked out of his lips and licked at your bottom lip. A series of huffs and whimpers came out of both of you, the air around you felt sticky and stuffy.

You didn’t realize that your hips had started to move until Chan held your hips in place.

“What do you want , baby? Communication, remember?” he sounded cocky. You whined at his words, there was no need to be a smartass.

“Please Channie, let me grind on you.” He finally slacked the bruising grip on your hips and let you move back and forth on his lap. A prominent and promising boner pressed against your hot clothed core. The stimulation wasn’t enough to let you see stars but it sent tingles of pleasure up and down your spine, besides Chan’s huffs and puffs were better than anything you had ever experienced in your life.

The boy threw his head back against the cushion of the couch, giving you free access to his tempting neck. Your lips latched onto his pulse point and started to suck gently, occasionally biting and then licking the area. Your hips sped up in their rhythm as wetness collected on your folds and soiled your panties.

“Oh god, baby, is it bad if I already want to cum?” he asked with a guttural moan. His ears and cheeks bright red, his eyes screwed shut.

“No Channie, go ahead:”

Your lips trailed a sensual path up and down his neck. Cold hands made their way up his shirt and trailed over his lower belly, abs and then landed on his pecs. Your fingers pushed and circled around his hardened nipples, a whine coming out of Chan’s mouth.

The moment you pinched his nipples, hard, the boy knew he was over. He scrunched up his face in pleasure and his muscles contracted. Hot spurts of cum came out of him quickly, coating and effectively ruining his favorite pair of pants and underwear. His breath was labored when he looked at you, face flushed and slightly sweaty. You looked like a goddess.

“You didn’t cum,” he stated, his voice strained.

“You did, though, so I think I deserve a reward for it.”

Chan giggled breathlessly and slapped your hip playfully.

“You’re right, as always.”

Taglist: @kflixnet @bahng-chrizz @hann1bee

#straykidsland #kpop #reader insert #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #stray kids college au #bang chan college au #bang chan au #chan x reader #chan smut #chan au

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straylightdream · 1 year

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I think I like you - 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: bang chan x f.reader

college au / mutual pining / friends to lover

↳ he’s always been your person. You’ve never loved anyone quite like you love him. “I’ve been waiting for us.”

an: part of a connecting skz college au series called SSFW. All parts can be read as one shots.

I think I like you - part one

paper rings - part two

playlist

𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬 - 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬

𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨

𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟓

𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - 𝟓 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - 𝟓 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids smut #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan college au #ssfw #stray kids au #bang chan au #bang chan smut #I think I like you #bang chan fanfic #bang chan insert reader

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backtoyuta · 16 days

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I'm Mr Brightside

Han Jisung fluffy College au

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There are some facts in this world that you can’t deny; the sky is blue, the grass is green, and you and Han Jisung had a chemistry that couldn’t be ignored.

When your friend had first introduced you to her cute, freckled boyfriend and his wild bunch of friends, you were a little intimidated. Their loudness and exuberance had caught you off guard and you could’ve cried when she and Felix had left you to go to the convenience store, paying no mind to how awkward you felt with these new people.

However, you really needn’t have worried. Whilst you were sat there clutching your can of drink and pretending to look busy on your phone, a boy with rounded cheeks and brown doe eyes had sidled into the seat next to you and before you knew it- friendship was born.

Jisung was an incredible friend to have around, he was fucking funny, for a start. He also could be very sensitive when need be, and you and his introverted self gelled so well that you naturally just gravitated towards each other.

When your friends had coerced you into joining them clubbing after having pre-drinks in yours and your friend’s apartment, it was Jisung who stayed sat in the booth with you, chatting over cheap drinks and plotting how you would get the others to call it a night and go get a MacDonald’s.

When you were drowning in the horrendous amount of work your tutor had set you with a deadline due in a matter of hours, it was Jisung who stayed up with you, finding sources for you to cite, organising your notes and coming up with ridiculous ways to lengthen your sentences so you would reach the word count.

When your family pet had passed away, it was Jisung who surprised you by coming over with food, a movie and a “manly shoulder to cry on” which you snorted at, accepting all the gifts graciously before allowing Jisung to take you to the local animal shelter to pet some puppies and grieve for a little bit.

Jisung was amazing, but you can imagine his horror when he found out you had a boyfriend.

Said boyfriend had been left at home while you studied away at university, and Jisung couldn’t deny that he was absolutely sickened. Thus far, it had been an unspoken consensus that you and Jisung were bound to get together at some point. Afterall, you were the one he always scouted the room for at parties, you were the one he went the extra mile for on the daily, and you were the one he was constantly thinking about when you weren’t in the same room.

You can imagine the horror when Jisung swung by your apartment as part of a routine and walked in on you face timing your boyfriend. He couldn’t hide the sneer on his face when he observed how disinterested he was when you were sat in front of his screen, or how he interrupted you when you spoke. After that day, Jisung found himself becoming a little sulky around you and listening to Heartbreak Girl by 5SOS perhaps a little too often. You would often be comforting him or trying to draw him out of his shell, but you never knew for what reason because he would never tell you.

A new dynamic had settled in your group. Jisung liked you, you liked Jisung- this was common knowledge. However, you couldn’t ignore the tension in the room when the boyfriend was brought up. You may have just mentioned him in passing, occasionally you would have an argument or two that came with the long distance, but Minho’s eyes would flicker to Jisung’s concernedly while the blonde boy tried to remain unbothered.

“sounds like an ass to me.” Minho piped; his face full of mirth while you got flustered.

“He’s not… he’s just weird like that.” You had attempted to defend, though it was true, he could be a bit of an arse sometimes. Despite the truth in Minho’s words, it was to a certain someone’s dismay that it didn’t appear that you would be breaking up with this arsey boyfriend of yours any time soon.

Though it was painful, Jisung had been raised right, plus he wanted to maintain a good friendship with you at the very least. He had perfected hiding his emotions to a tee and reigned in the heart eyes out of respect for your relationship. As time had progressed you both got closer, a sort of chemical imbalance occurring as it was obvious yours and Jisung’s chemistry overrode yours and your boyfriends completely.

How about that time during movie night at Jisung’s apartment? The flat he shared with his seven other roommates was at max capacity with you and your best friend there too and it was at Jeongin’s request that you watch all the Woman in Black movies in succession. Having never been a fan of horror, and nor was Jisung, it wasn’t long until you felt your phone vibrate with a text while Jisung tried to look as though he wasn’t shitting his pants from across the room.

J: you wanna watch toy story in my room upstairs?

Y/N: I would very much enjoy that.

J: nice

It was Seungmin that had eventually excused himself to use the bathroom, which was where he thought he would find you after you made your great escape, but instead the glow of Jisung’s laptop catching his attention through the door that was ajar and You got a friend in me wafting from the room. You maintained a friendly distance in Jisung’s bed, the blanket was warm, but the heat Jisung radiated was warmer, you couldn’t help but feel the itch to tuck yourself into his side- like a couple would. Seungmin figured he’d tease you both for being pussies later, something was telling him that he should leave you both be in the bubble you created.

There was that other time you were sat in the boys’ kitchen close to midnight, your best friend listening intently with Chris and Felix while you bitched about your boyfriend over the kitchen table.

“So, remind me what he did again?” Chris questioned exasperatedly; his head tilted in your direction while you huffed into your mug of tea.

“You know that video I posted of Jisung on my story?” You elaborated, Chris and Felix’s heads nodding in unison as they thought back to the clip you had taken of the two of you. Like mature young adults, you and the others had been bored and tired of classes and thought it would be fun to let off some steam in the deserted play park at eleven ‘o clock at night. It was Felix who had suggested a game of sardines in the dark and eerie play area, and you and Jisung thought you were geniuses by hiding in the giant plastic slide. Not only had the boys and your best friend taken ages to find you and congregate in the same slide- while Chris was left scratching his head and scouring the park to find you all, but you had also taken some pretty hilarious videos of Jisung in the tube, reading the vile graffiti that teens had written in sharpie on the inside and at one point him losing a shoe in the confined space.

“Yeah, he was pissed at Jisung for literally no reason.” You vented, taking a sip of your drink and cringing at how the fun memory had turned sour because of your petty boyfriend.

“Pissed how?” Felix asked, curious about what he could possibly have had to say about one of his closest friends. With your back to the living area, you didn’t hear the soft pad of Jisung’s socked feet entering the room, you just continued to explain your tiff before Chris or Felix could say anything.

“He was saying stuff like: “Why are you always so close with Jisung? You always laugh with Jisung, you never laugh like that with me, you’re always so awkward with me now- blah, blah, blah.” You finished, rolling your eyes. You’d feel more sympathetic towards your boyfriend’s insecurities if they weren’t so irrational. He’d met Jisung on facetime enough times and hadn’t said a word then, plus he was acting like you should be totally friendless and unhappy so long as he wasn’t there to make you laugh. You couldn’t help that being with Jisung was so seamless, his charisma and humour complimented yours almost a little too well.

“I don’t know…” You sighed, still ignorant to the figure behind you, “… maybe don’t tell Jisung, I don’t want him to get all weird about it.” You finished, finally looking up to meet the eyes of the two boys who were staring at something straight over your head.

As soon as you saw the way that Chris fought the laugh that was etching onto his face, and how your best friend was looking like a deer caught in headlights, you just knew. You turned to face the blonde properly, he was dressed in sweats and a loose t-shirt, seemingly roused from his sleep and you couldn’t help but coo internally at his ruffled hair and awkward expression at what he heard. You had tried to mollify the situation, babbling explanations and telling him to not worry about your ass-hat of a boyfriend but you had no idea what was going on in Jisung’s head. He knew it was a little petty, but he couldn’t help but preen at his ego being groomed at the thought of despite knowing you for less than half the time your boyfriend had known you, the laugh that made his serotonin shoot was a laugh that you reserved for only him; and he was the one you weren’t awkward around.

****

“I’ll be down in a sec!” You yelled to your friend from your dorm room. It was 11:30 at night, late for a school night, but early in the evening you had planned. You weren’t a massive fan of the uni clubbing scene; more often than not, you were more likely to stay for the pre drinks and wave off your drunken friends out the door, but tonight you had made a promise to at least try and enjoy yourself. You gulped down the last of the vodka lemonade you had been nursing while adding the last touches to your makeup. It was impossible not to cringe at the burning taste of the liquor, but you’d do anything to get yourself sufficiently drunk tonight. It was a delicate balance; with the right alcohol, the right people and the right music you could have an amazing time- if anything out of those things were off, you’d be whining to go home in no time at all.

You put little emphasis on the right people, you had no doubt that the group of boys your friend had introduced you to were the right people to go out with- loud as hell and all with a lust for life that was infectious. You felt warm at the thought of seeing Jisung, despite seeing him most days, you knew he’d be the Clyde to your Bonnie tonight… If Bonnie and Clyde were notorious introverts, and not, ya know… murderers.

You could already hear the base of the grimy music thumping, and the yells and whoops of the boys from the communal kitchen. The LEDs that were lazily hung by one of your roommates flashed and changed and made the corridor look disorientating until your eyes adjusted, and you strolled your way to your friends with your empty cup in hand- eager for a refill.

Your friend greeted you animatedly from the entryway, Felix in tow as per usual, she spoke quickly about mixer in the fridge and how you would be leaving for the club at half past twelve at the earliest. You were only half paying attention, you could see in your periphery Jisung’s cute round face from his perch on the kitchen stool, his hands holding his phone but his doe eyes watching your form intently. In a matter of seconds, your eyes were making contact with his and you smiled warmly. You could see from his hunched figure and severe lack of a drink that he was feeling a little out of his depth- you knew the feeling all too well and wasted no time to stroll over to him with two cups in hand.

***

Jisung knew he was being obvious, try as he might to be subtle, it was impossible not to gawp at your figure clad in a cute dress and your ankle boots, gorgeous as ever and a little rough around the edges. He couldn’t help it, your presence was always a huge comfort to him, you were the best person to seek refuge with when he went through spells of anxiety and you were his favourite shoulder to cry on. He couldn’t supress the smile that crept on his face when you noticed his figure, both of you sharing a knowing smile when you grabbed two cups from the side and made your way over.

“Boy looks like he needs a drink,” you teased playfully, slinking up to his rigid body and swiftly twisting the cap off the bottle of vodka that was in reaching distance.

“You know me too well.” Jisung answered back, the undertone of an inside joke lingering around you. You were both cut from the same cloth; pretty much being forced to go out to the club when it was a mutual understanding that you’d just rather- not?

After sloshing a shot of vodka in the cup, you cracked open a new can of Redbull and split it between the two of you, chuckling at Jisung’s cringed out expression after taking a brave gulp of the concoction. Yeah, it was strong, but the key to survival and making the most of these kinds of nights was to get at least sufficiently tipsy. Worst case was that the alcohol never hit you and you would spend a sobering time circulating the smoking area, photobooth and seating area with your platonic other half.

The pre-drinks continued smoothly, a game of ring of fire ensuing whilst you were in an animated conversation with Jisung about your “game plan” for night.

“You know Changbin had nearly a whole bottle of wine before we got here, he won’t last the whole night.” Jisung attested, the both of you observing the boy laugh loudly while simultaneously trying to chat up one of your roommates.

“God, he’ll be sick before 3am, he’s drinking a desperado…” You gaped horrified, Jisung laughing before the severity of the situation hit him.

“Crap… I don’t really want to peel him off the kitchen floor again, he nearly vommed on my shoes last time.” The blonde shuddered at the memory. You just ruffled his hair affectionately, Changbin was a big boy, and you felt comforted when you noticed the watchful eye of Chris observing him from across the kitchen island; Changbin was in good hands.

The following hour flew by, you and Jisung making what you thought were accurate predictions on how you thought the night was going to go down based on your drunken friends. When it was time to grab your little cropped denim jacket and your purse, it was just shy of one in the morning, and you all began the small trek to the nearest club.

It didn’t escape your notice how close you were when you walked. Occasionally Jisung would stick an arm out and draw your waist closer to him when a stranger walked past, your hands brushing against each other’s in a frustrating game of will they or won’t they hold hands. Just as you were coming to the club’s entrance, your phone rang, and you couldn’t hold back the urge to roll your eyes. You shouldn’t have told your boyfriend you were going out tonight, he had choice words about it earlier and no doubt did he have choice words about it now.

“You could just not answer him.” Jisung mused gently, both of you joining the back of the queue and watching your phone light up with the call. Not wanting the impending argument to roll over to tomorrow you answered anyway, chuckling at Jisung and giving yourself some space while you had a conversation.

“You would love that, wouldn’t you?” Jeongin teased quietly, only so he and Jisung could hear. A swift jab to the ribs was what caused Jeongin to squawk, and then cease his tormenting. Jisung’s attention was recaptured by you; your inability to hide your expressions coming to the forefront when he caught sight of your scowl that was illuminated by the street- light that loomed above you.

“I can’t believe you went out anyway.” You boyfriend lectured, annoying as ever.

“I don’t know why you expect me to just sit around all day and do nothing? I want to have some fun for fucks sake-” You replied angrily, your temper quickly reaching a peak.

“You’re at a club! How do I know you’re not gonna neck it on with every guy there?!”

“It’s not my problem you’re feeling insecure… just leave me alone.” You quipped back, causing a chorus of “Oooohhhhs” from Chris and Changbin at your verbal take down. You were trying really hard not to giggle; this wasn’t a good time.

“Yeah, well, what do you expect? You’re always with that other guy how do you expect me to feel? Is he there now?” You glanced at Jisung anxiously, not really wanting to lie, but you knew what your boyfriend wanted to hear. “Well? Is he, or isn’t he?” Your boyfriend continued to put pressure on you, making you squirm.

“Well… yes, he is, but what’s that got to do with anything?” You huffed dejectedly, already hearing the loud sigh from the other side of the line.

“Just go home Y/N, have someone else walk you home or something, just go home before I get really mad.”

“I want to have fun, you can get really mad for all I care,” and you hung up with a flourish. Looking back up, you couldn’t supress the laugh at watching Felix pretend to drop a mic, the others jeering at you standing up to your dick of a boyfriend. You got back in line with Jisung, trying to shake off your pissy mood so as not to ruin your night.

“He really hates me, doesn’t he?” Jisung muttered, fiddling with one of his bracelets anxiously.

“You don’t mind him Jisung,” you comforted, “He hates everything with a penis.” You tried to joke to take the edge off. He did laugh though, so it kind of worked. Finally, you got the front of the line, presenting your IDs to the bouncer before making your way inside the illuminated building, your heart already vibrating from the loud music.

****

The club was an absolute mess in the best way. Choosing a highlight wasn’t easy- however at one point your friend had captured the attention of someone who was not Felix. You were fully prepared to go over there and snatch her back with no questions asked but watching Felix Mc Hammer his way over to reclaim his girlfriend was much more entertaining. Your pre-drinking had worked a charm, you weren’t off your face, but you definitely felt a lot looser than you normally would and as did Jisung, even daring to join the others on the main dancefloor at one point. You were never a sexy dancer, but that wasn’t the vibe anyway with the 2000’s hits the DJ was playing, and you couldn’t be happier to get groovy with Jisung to Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull or absolutely losing it over Avril Lavigne.

The mood was high by the time you finally decided to leave, your heart set on putting your pyjamas on and ordering a McDonalds before calling it a night. You clung to Jisung absentmindedly, the drinks you had consumed in the club making you wobble and sway with every step. You had been right about Changbin by the way; you knew it was your cue to leave when he announced he had vomited in the club toilets, a defeated look gracing his features.

You didn’t feel too great either, but the nausea in your stomach wasn’t caused by the alcohol. Your boyfriend had called back a couple of times, probably fuming at your last conversation, but for the sake of everyone enjoying the night out Minho had tugged the phone from your hands and promptly switched it off before handing it back. You couldn’t help but worry though, the inevitable wrath you’d have to deal with came closer with every minute that ticked by.

Finally, you stumbled back into your student apartment, eight boys, your best friend and a couple of your other roommates in tow, all ready to collapse into the living room and demolish some fast food. You excused yourself to your room to shed your jacket and shoes, your body failing you quickly when opening the door. Luckily, you had waiting arms to steady you, Jisung pushing the heavy door for you and following in behind, his stance looking a little wavy as he too- was very drunk.

“God, he’s gonna be so pissed at me…” You said to no one in particular, flinging yourself onto your bed. Jisung followed suit, the sound of your door clicking shut as he settled beside you and let his gaze fall to the photos and polaroids you had decorated your pin board with. He couldn’t help but feel his confidence inflate a little as he observed that a photo you had taken with your boyfriend had been covered up almost entirely by the pictures you had taken in a photobooth from a different night out with him. The four pictures were undeniably adorable, his favourite being the one where you both finally figured out where to look and both of your giant smiles taking the focal point, the other be the one where you were laughing, and Felix and your best friend had poked their heads into the curtain to photobomb you. Jisung took up an awful lot of your photos, from the slightly awkward smiles from when you first met each other to the shameless silly faces you pulled from the last time you had your camera out. Surely, there had to be a reason, subconsciously or not, why Jisung’s picture shrouded the person’s that you were supposed to be dating.

“Why are you still with him?” Jisung quizzed bravely, his drunkenness making him more confident. There was a sudden change in atmosphere, the air around you became thick with tension at the softness of his voice. You both knew he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity, there was a clear subliminal and unanswered question; why aren’t you with me?

“I… don’t know.” You answered honestly, your voice sounding so unsure as you flipped onto your side to face the boy properly. You propped your head up with your hand, your mind still swimming with intoxication as Jisung looked to you properly too. His hair was pushed from his face, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes bloodshot. He looked hot tonight, his light denim jacket and white T-shirt and jeans a simple outfit, but of course he made it look like a runway outfit effortlessly. “It’s not easy… breaking up with someone, we’ve been together a long time.” You explained softly. It hurt, to watch the disappointment cloud his eyes, so much so, that you stood swiftly to shed more of your accessories in order to distract yourself from the conversation at hand. It didn’t seem like Jisung was having it though, being the polite and gracious boy he was, he normally would’ve left the conversation at that, but being drunk and in his feels was spurring on a different side of him tonight.

“It could be though…” Jisung stood just as you turned to face him, your new close proximity catching you off guard and causing you to stumble back. “… I don’t want to upset you, but it’s not fair… he’s an ass.” He emphasised the last word deliberately, to which you couldn’t bring yourself to disagree. Jisung wasn’t much taller than you, but in this moment, with his newly found confidence he seemed to tower you, your figure shrinking in the small space. You took a step back, though you were mad at your boyfriend- you weren’t a cheater, but that resolve was becoming weaker and weaker as Jisung took a step closer to shrink the gap you had made wider. “I don’t want to do the cringe speech where I say how much better I am... but I don’t want to be with anyone else.” He took another step, and you took one back. Your dorm room was tiny, and it didn’t take much until you were entrapped by the wall and the boy in front of you. It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable, thrilled was probably the better word for it. Equally terrified and equally excited, you low-key loved this part of Jisung- but you didn’t want to be disloyal either.

You couldn’t think of the words to argue, because your argument was void. Jisung had every right to feel like he was the better guy for you… because he was. It was a tad daunting at how self-aware he was but any fool could see it. The air was so hot and thick between you, your words kept falling off the tip of your tongue as you attempted to rationalise your feelings, ultimately failing each time.

“You make me so happy; I’ve never met anyone like you… I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like you again.” He continued, taking one, final, baby step closer. You couldn’t have been any more than a couple of inches apart, his breath warm as it fanned against your face and it made your stomach flip.

“You’re drunk…” You tried, the last-ditch effort to deter the boy in front of you.

“So are you… plus they say drunk words are sober thoughts…” He trailed off almost cheekily, a dark chuckle sounding as his eyes fell down to your lips, his tongue poking out to wet his own in anticipation.

“Jisung…” You muttered, already knowing full well where this was going.

“…Just say no, if you want me to stop.” He murmured, his head dipping closer and closer to yours by the second.

Whilst your conscious was screaming at you to say no, push him away, slam the door on him, literally anything to stop what was about to happen from happening, you just didn’t care. Jisung’s lips were light on your own, first dipping down to kiss you experimentally, his hair tickling your forehead and hands wrapping around your waist lightly, before going back in with new fervour.

The only way you could explain the feeling was pure relief. The way he kissed you with both passion and a tenderness was something you could never experience with your boyfriend. Obviously, a part of this felt so wrong, but a huge part felt so right. The hand that slid around your side and the other that came to tangle in your hair had you fitting together like puzzle pieces. It took a minute for your subconscious to overlap your moral compass, but when it finally did, Jisung sighed contently at the feeling of you kissing him back with equal emotion. The taste of liquor remained on both of your tongues, your bodies equally warm from drunkenness and it made the room feel stifling. Only when Jisung had begun to tug and push your jacket from your shoulders, the movement of his head feeling like it had every intention of pressing the most searing kisses to the newly exposed skin, that you felt like you had to stop.

You pulled away stiffly, your body language evidently moving against its will. Your head fell back against the wall with a dull thump, your breathing slightly laboured as you let the silence and tension speak for itself. Welp, it was official. You had cheated on your boyfriend, to some degree… Shit.

“I’m sorry…” The boy in front of you muttered, his cosy embrace already slipping off from around you, making you feel cold and empty.

“Me too.” You whispered back, your head hanging. It didn’t need to be said, you both knew that no one, other than the two people in the room would ever know about what just happened. Jisung sniffed, shrugging his shoulders back in an attempt at getting himself together before pushing his sweaty hair from his face.

“I’m gonna go, order some food…” He spoke in a tone that was supposed to feel casual. You just nodded, allowing him to leave the room and walk down the corridor to join the others in the living area.

Jisung knew it was a mistake to kiss you, not because of your boyfriend, but because he knew in his heart that if he kissed you once he would inevitably want to kiss you again. Not knowing what it would feel like was one thing but knowing that it sent his heart into an addictive over drive, his nerves charging with electricity was something else. In short, he felt like an idiot; it already sucked enough to be the guy that everyone knew was in love with a girl that he couldn’t have, what sucked even more was that he knew for sure now that you liked him back. However, he was far too used to acting like he was unbothered, a skill he never thought he would have to utilise so much- until he met you. He had perfected the art of playing Mr Brightside, and no matter how sick to his stomach it made him feel to see you remain with the D-bag that was your boyfriend, he still had the ability to be a genuine and supportive friend.

****

Maybe it was more obvious to an outsider, but you weren’t dumb. It was clear that the longer you stayed away from your boyfriend the more your relationship broke down. A part of you was telling you to keep persevering because all relationships have their struggles, but another part was telling you to just dump his ass. You were more inclined to listen to the latter; unsurprisingly, the kiss you shared with Jisung had stuck with you for weeks. In the shower, eating breakfast, trying to catch up on work, any given moment your brain was occupied with the memory of his hands in your hair and the brush of his lips. Quite honestly, the most hot and heavy moment you had ever experienced in your life- not once had the guy you were in a committed relationship with kissed you with so much passion. You had attempted to actively avoid the boy for a couple of days, but it all just seemed redundant when he was living rent-free in your mind anyway. He didn’t need to be there physically; you were a mess either way.

Being the person that you were, you didn’t think to announce to all of your friends when the deed had been done. Looking back, the breakup itself had taken a bit of beating around the bush to finally come out with it, and a huge amount of explaining that you weren’t dumping him solely for Jisung. At the end of the day, he just wasn’t the one, and you had to assure to him and yourself that you were doing this for you and only you. Of course, you were quite saddened by how things had worked out, but the overwhelming feeling of freedom had eclipsed that after a day or two of moping around. Only you were aware for the first few days that you were now a single pringle, you didn’t want to announce it to everyone as if your life was some kind of reality show, so when the cat did come out of the bag you tried to be as lowkey about it as possible:

“How are you Y/N?”

“Doing better Jisung, thanks.” You fumbled, taking off your shoes.

“How’s the boyfriend?”

“… What boyfriend?”

You hid your smirk as everyone’s breath caught at your words, the silence that lasted half a beat deafening as you straightened up and made your way to the sofa to flop. Jisung was in shock, evident from the way his mouth gaped slightly at his loss for words, but his most guilt-tripping dream had finally come true.

The next few weeks was a true test of Jisung’s patience. He knew you, and despite your totally valid past complaining, he knew that you wouldn’t jump into a relationship with him immediately. However, despite the undertone of angst and anticipation that normally hung in the air around you two, it was more or less vaporised by Jisung’s hilarious and totally not-subtle flirting.

“You don’t understand Felix, Y/N used to be obsessed with Cody Simpson when we were in middle school.” Your best friend teased.

“So I liked blonde boys with Justin Bieber haircuts, sue me!” You laughed in response. The others laughed along with you, but not at what you had just said. Jisung was putting on an Oscar worthy performance of miming writing down this imperative information about your 12-year-old self’s ideal type, making a show of looking invested while you had your back to him.

You almost felt bad, your “mourning period” (as your best friend had called it) wasn’t nearly as depressing as you had anticipated. Frankly, you thought you’d be more of a wreck, but Jisung was making that nearly impossible, as not a day went by where you weren’t exposed to some of the worst pickup lines you had ever heard.

“If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine” Jisung exclaimed proudly, his eyebrows wriggling suggestively in an attempt to be smooth.

“Chris taught you that, didn’t he Jisung?” You deadpanned, trying not to laugh at his derpy face.

“I’m not Jisung right now… I’m Peter.” This caused you to choke out a laugh, the joke being that you’d only use his English name when he was being either a shameless fuck boy, or an absolute idiot. His chaotic alter ego, if you will.

The best part to come out of this was the freedom for being physically affectionate, the little voice in your head telling you to keep your distance finally silenced. There wasn’t time to feel upset about your long-term relationship coming to an end, not when you spent the time you would’ve been crying wrapped up in a blonde boy’s embrace, the rain pattering against the window as you indulged in some good true crime in your blanket nest. Jisung’s chest was the perfect pillow for your head, his arms that had become a lot more buff since he had been working out daily warm and secure around your form as you sprawled out half on top of him. You had no qualms about your questionable position when your eyes got heavy, the arduous all-nighter you had both committed to the night before finally taking its toll as you both napped to the sound of graphic murder on your laptop.

All of this went hand in hand with the previous consensus. You and Jisung were bound to get together. The question was simple- when?

This leads to the current situation. Now in March, it wasn’t long until you’d all be separating for the easter break, and so it was only appropriate to have one last meetup at one of the university’s bars and enjoy drinks for buy one get one free.

Walking out onto the balcony, you felt the mild breeze ruffle your hair a little, pulling your jacket around you tighter, you watched fondly as your friend did a little run to greet Felix with a hug and a sweet peck on the lips, you took your own time to walk over to the group of boys you were meeting.

As naturally as ever, your gaze met Jisung’s quickly, him sending you a little half smile as he moved his jacket to reveal an empty space on the bench beside him. Not wasting a moment, you sidled up next to him, already pulling out your phone to order your drinks and falling into easy conversation with the boy beside you. The others exchanged knowing glances, Changbin and Hyunjin rolling their eyes and laughing at how useless it was trying to engage you two in their chat when you were both engrossed in your own bubble.

The hours had slipped by; you barely noticed how dark it had gotten and the balcony was fully illuminated by the trendy twinkly lights that lined the perimeter. When the time had rolled from 10 pm to 11 pm, you all made the effort to grab your coats, down the last of the drinks and begin the dawdle back to your respective apartments.

Jisung knew his timing wasn’t great, but he couldn’t say goodbye to you for three weeks and twiddle his thumbs without at least trying to ask you out- officially. You were in no rush, walking and talking slowly to try and prolong the conversation you were having as you walked side by side along the river. Your laughter resonated along the busy street, the little alcohol in your system and Jisung’s usual funny self making your ribs ache with giggles.

The others were way ahead of you, and you felt your heart sink at the sight of your apartment building coming into view. You weren’t quite ready to say goodbye- though you could probably manage to visit each-other, and you would call and text, you would miss seeing Jisung every day. Your walk dwindled into a stand-still, the darkness making the campus buildings and various complexes look ten times prettier as they were illuminated, and Jisung held your hands tentatively.

The anticipation that you both felt continuously quickly built up, this time though, it felt like you had reached breaking point. The elastic band that was being stretched and stretched was about to snap, and your stomach flipped with adrenaline and fondness for the boy standing right in front of you.

“I have to tell you a secret, before I actually throw myself into the river.” Jisung chuckled, both his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into the back of your hand, his face a mixture of mirth and nerves.

“I’m listening.” You replied simply, trying to look sincere.

Jisung swiped his tongue over his lips quickly, daring to look you in the eyes for half a second before averting his gaze to the floor again. Clearly, “liquid courage” was the leading factor to his boldness the last time you were this close. You hoped Jisung didn’t need to be almost wasted in order to be as forward as he was before, the hot and heavy kiss you had shared previously wouldn’t be unwelcome in the near future. With a gentle squeeze to his warm hands did he finally gain a little confidence, his usual cheeky smile adorning his cute face once again and you braced yourself for what he had to say.

“I really, really like you.”

“Not really a secret though, is it?” You caught him off guard with your sass, his mouth gaping comically as you laughed at his expression, him still clinging to your hands. He couldn’t help but join in on your giggles though, your contagious laughter and easy-going personality made him wonder why he was so nervous in the first place.

“Whatever! Will you go out with me?” He asked, almost exasperatedly, now letting go of your hands and circling your waist instead, both of your bodies fitting together like a lock and key while you placed your hands on his shoulders.

“of course, I will.” You smiled, taking a moment to appreciate the way Jisung’s face lit up and the giant smile that broke out onto his features

Though it was cliché, it really felt like your “happily ever after” moment. In no time at all did you feel a familiar pair of lips make contact with yours, and a familiar hand trailing up your spine under your coat, coming to a halt at the base of your neck. You had the freedom to give into your instincts and clutch his jacket, pulling him in closer before allowing a hand to bury itself into his fluffy hair. You knew Jisung was never a fan of PDA, but it warmed your insides knowing that he apparently couldn’t wait until you were somewhere more private to do this. Honestly, you were so excited to start this relationship with him; he was already a best friend to you, and your connection had such a strong platonic foundation that meant he had the ability to make you laugh until you could pee whilst also making you a mess of butterflies and stutters. You smiled lightly when he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, both of your faces flushed and lips swollen, you kept one hand interlocked as you tried to catch up with the others. Patience really was a virtue, it would seem, and Jisung couldn’t deny that it had paid off. No matter how much he felt tormented by your past relationship, he could sleep soundly at night with the knowledge that he would never have to be Mr Brightside ever again.

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