warnings: switch!chan, oral (m receiving), praise, semi-public sex, cum play, dirty talk, orgasm (m and f)
word count: 9.8 k (woops lmao)
Tagged: @sailorhyunjinz , this was a fic written as inspo from an ask you received a little while ago, hope you enjoy reading it !
summary: after leaving your piece of shit husband and moving across town with your beautiful little son, life was stressful. Lucky your son easily adapted and made friends easy, but you had to pat him on the back, because the newly divorced dad that accompanied him was like a gift, and boy, were you in need of some stress relief.
A large smile spread across your face as your beautiful son ran out of the automatic doors, running full speed as you kneeled down, opening your arms wide and embracing him fully.
“Hello my beautiful son,” you beamed, “how was your day?”
“It was so good mom,” he replied, reciprocating your grin of warmth, “can I ask you something?”
“Of course my little pumpkin.”
“Can Felix come over? His dad said it was okay.”
The smile on your face was far from fading as you lifted a hand, ruffling it through the little boy’s hair.
“Of course he can! Is he going to come with us?”
“I can follow behind you to your house.”
You heard a deep voice coming from behind you before you could speak. Turning around, you gasped, greeted by a taller man with black hair, glasses, and a black suit. Holy shit was all you could think, mind going dumb as you realised you were on your knees right in front of this dashing stranger. The heat rose to your cheeks immediately when you realised how filthy this would have looked out of context. The man held his arm out, knocking your thought back into motion as you stood, accepting his kind offer and gripping his hand for a handshake. Your eyes bulged for a moment, noticing how firm his grip was.
“I’m Chan,” he beamed, resulting in a cocked eyebrow of confusion from you, “Felix’s dad.”
A wave of relief came over you after he had given some background information as to who he was.
“Oh,” you giggled, “it’s nice to meet you Chan, I’m y/n, Seungmin’s mum.”
“Beautiful,” he chuckled, dimples popping out.
Your heart began to race at the adjective. Was he saying that you are beautiful? Or that Seungmin was beautiful? You shook your head, snapping yourself out of such ludicrous thoughts. There was no way he was talking about you; this was the first interaction between the two of you.
“Oh uhm” he coughed, breaking eye contact with you for a brief moment, “Seungmin uhm, he’s a beautiful kid.”
“Ohh,” you coughed, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck, “I try my best.”
You both stood there, a slightly uncomfortable feeling filling the air as you ran out of things to converse about. You knew it was wrong to think this way, seeing as it was the first friend Seungmin had made since moving to a new school, not wanting to ruin things for your son; but you couldn’t help it. Felix’s dad, Chan, was super attractive. Although he had clothes on right now, you could see how well he took care of his body, largely due to the fact that it was becoming somewhat difficult for you not to admire the way the top two buttons of his dress shirt were undone, the third one barely holding on. His dark hair pushed up, forehead out in full view, his smile, dimples; his teeth. He was so hot. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks once more the longer you noticed yourself gawking at him.
You both giggled, talking in unison. God, why was he making it so hard to act like a cordial school parent?
“You go first.”
“Oh uhm I was just going to say, did you want to follow me to my house?”
“That sounds like a great idea, Felix, get in the car and daddy will take you to Seungmin’s house.”
You coughed, saliva getting caught in your throat as he bent down to ruffle the already messy hair on top of Seunngmin’s head.
“How does that sound, buddy?”
“Mom, let’s gooooooo!”
Seungmin dashed to the car, tossing his backpack in the back sweat first before jumping in. All you could do was grin ear to ear. He was a resilient kid.
After your extremely long and excruciating divorce, and having to move across town to get away from your poor excuse of an ex-husband, you were nervous that he would find it difficult to adjust to such drastic changes. Nevertheless, all he did was beam with joy, not easily discouraged, but easily adapting to his new life. You were so proud, the look on his face brought tears to your eyes.
“Is everything okay?”
Your smile faded, looking back at Chris’ face of worry. Oh shit, the tears forming in your eyes accidentally spilling over and silently dripping down your face.
“What? Oh,” you gasped, quickly wiping away the wet residue, “yes I’m fine, shall we get going?”
He smiled politely once more, not wanting to invade your privacy by asking you why you were crying. Instead he turned on his feet, opening the car door and sitting in his car, the engine revving somewhat loud as he began his journey to your house.
“Wow Seungmin, your house is so cool!”
The sound of Felix’s sweet little voice erupted as soon as he stepped out of the car, running to the front door. What was up with kids and sprinting everywhere like their life depended on it? You couldn't complain though, you were very happy to see that Seungmin had made a friend just as enthusiastic and energetic like himself.
They were both already standing at the door, waiting eagerly to be let inside. You were struggling, trying to multitask getting your house keys out, as well as dragging Seungmin’s backpack in your arms awkwardly. You were grateful when you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, gently lifting the heavy mass and taking it upon himself to take the weight off of your hands.
“Oh,” you smiled, “thank you so much.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he chirped, happily following you to your front door.
The sound of the key turning in the lock was successful, busting the door open and letting the little ones run free. Your feet, now tired from being on them day, were taking you to the kitchen, dragging a very handsome father behind you. He stood behind you, unsure whether to sit or stand. You were completely oblivious, sloppily discarding your jacket and throwing it onto the couch. Turning to the sink without hesitation, filling an empty glass with water as a sigh of relief after taking a sip of the cool substance. After what seemed like a lifetime to Chan, you turned around, eyes going wide after completely forgetting that you were not the only adult in your house.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, quickly swallowing the lump of water in your throat, “please have a seat on the stool. Would you like a drink?”
“Ah, yes please, water is fine for me thank you.”
He was super polite, bowing slightly as he pulled out the chair under the bench. He smiled, whispering a small thank you as you handed him a glass of his requested beverage. Silence filled the room once again as you both sipped on your waters. You had no idea how to converse, and the fact that he was making you sweat with just his presence alone was stressing you out. His suit jacket was now off as well, exposing even more of his superb physique, the bottom half of his sleeves were already rolled up, veins on full display as he lifted the glass to his lips, observing the way they pulsated with each small move he made.
“So,” you began, making Chan snap his eyes up to you, a shiver running down your spine, “what do you do for work?”
For work? You wanted to slap yourself across the face. This wasn’t a job interview, but it was like you had set it up to be that way after your line of questioning had begun.
“Oh uhm, I work in finance, stock for entertainment companies, nothing special.”
“Oh wow that’s great, seems like a very stable job, financially.”
Really? Now you sounded like one of those people that work out how much someone’s life is worth for insurance. You were trying to be personable, friendly. But due to your previous life as the stereotypical trophy wife, only to be seen on the arm of your ex partner to make him look good. It took away from your ability to make friends and have genuine social connections. So much that your social skills suffered in the process. Your anxiety grew the longer he waited to answer.
“Well yes, it’s enough to get me and the family by.”
Right. His family. Of course he had a family. You were lying if you said your heart didn’t sink at the idea that he would be going back to his beautiful life full of marriage and children, maybe pets. You began to chug your water, finishing at reaching for the cupboard full of liquor. A look of excitement flashed in your eyes for a moment as you happily took out two wine glasses from the upper cupboard, red wine effortlessly pouring into the cup. You attempted to cup the glass in a sophisticated way, sliding the other one across the bench.
But that was literally the worst idea you had ever thought of, seeing as the glass travelled way too far, spilling off of the edge and all over Chan.
“Oh my god,” you cried, falling to the floor and rummaging underneath the kitchen sink, desperate to find any kind of paper towel to clean up the mess. Finally successful, you scurried over, falling to your knees as you rubbed back on forth up and down his pants in a hurried manner. The way he was super polite and apologetic towards you was making it worse, the guilt clouding you the harder you scrubbed.
“Oh my god, Chan I’m so sorry-”
“It’s fine y/n,” he chuckled, wrapping his hand around your wrist to prevent you from wiping anymore, “it was an accident. It’s cute the way you're frantically trying to fix the situation though.”
Cute? Did he just call you cute? Your heart fluttered at the compliment. You bit down on your bottom lip, attempting to suppress the grin that was yet to be hidden on your face, but it wasn’t until you realised why he stopped you from cleaning any further. You gasped as you looked up, quickly swiping your palms away and out of his grip. You now knew why, seeing the way his crotch was hardening by the second against your delicate palms.
You felt so guilty. So guilty that you found this satisfaction deep within your body coming alive the closer you kept to him. He ignored your flustered state, lending a hand to help you stand up in front of him. You take up the gracious offer, but receive a shock as he caught you in a moment of weakness. This moment turned into seconds, then minutes, then what felt like hours as neither of you backed away or created any kind of space between your bodies. If anything, he was pulling you closer, like an invisible magnet was attached to your body: like you were the protons to his electrons.
“What are you doing?”
“Shhh,” he whispered, the grip of his fingertips on your palms, snaking around your wrist once more as he moved back to its original position, a dark chuckle escaping his lips when he felt the softness of your palm gently pushing against his bulge. A gasp of shock parted from your lips at his boldness. What the hell was he doing?
“We shouldn’t do this Chan I-”
“Because the kids could come down any minute, and you have a family at home and-”
The look on his face was priceless, the previously polite and kind man returning as he let go. He grabbed his jacket, quickly fixing himself up. God this was so awkward and embarrassing. Unsure what to do, you panicked, quickly grabbing your phone and obnoxiously sticking it out in front of him.
“Could I have your number maybe? You know, incase the boys want to hang out on the weekends, or you need me to pick Felix up, or if I need a hand with picking up Seungmin or-”
“Oh,” he nodded, taking the phone out of your hand and punching his number in, “that sounds great.”
The guilt was now truly eating you up inside. This had been the first opportunity to get yourself out there, explore the sexual fantasies that you had been oh so desperate for. To finally get away from the lacklustre, soul sucking sex life, the memory of your ex husband finishing in two seconds etched into your brain. Never paying attention to any of your wants or desires. One part of you felt relief because there was no way you wanted to be a home wrecker for someone you had quite literally just met half an hour ago, however, that was just a mere part of you. The much, much bigger part of you wanted to rip your phone out of his beautifully sculptured hands, push him on the kitchen bench and ride him like there’s no tomorrow. His fingertips roaming all over your body, the soft moans that would escape his lips; the possibilities were endless. The longer you stared at him, and the way his face was now fixated into a look of concentration on your phone as his tongue was stuck out slightly, the quicker the intensity of your sensual thoughts became. It wasn’t until you felt someone a lot smaller than you tugging at the side of your pants to bring you back to the real world, that’s when you realised how totally fucked you were.
“Mom, mommy, mommy-”
“Yes baby, what is it?”
“Felix has to go home now, but can I go after school tomorrow?”
“Oh baby,” you smiled, the feeling of pain behind it as you had to tell him because he had forgotten, “you have to go to your dad’s house tomorrow, did you forget?”
The look on Seungmin’s face made you want to sob on the spot. The combination of hurt and anger mixed into his features truly made your heart break. He was always happy and resilient when he was with you, but he genuinely loathed having to visit his dad, mainly due to the fact that there was little interaction when he was there. He didn’t matter. Your ex husband did not take him anywhere, or he would be confused when his dad would bring home different people, late in the night, throughout the week. It was a lot for a little kid to handle.
“But I don’t want to go mom,” he huffed, crossing his tiny arms across his chest, “I hate him.”
“Now Seungmin, I know you don’t like going there, but you have to see your dad, it’s what we agreed on.”
“No, I hate you!”
His yell was so loud, but the way he ran up to his room and slammed his door was ear shattering. It didn’t even matter to you that Chris and his son were still there, witnessing all of this. If it was anybody else, you would have felt extremely humiliated. But there was no chance, not even the slightest of anger could be felt in your body, because you understood his reaction. You refused to look at the guests in your house, the chance of Chan seeing tears well up in your eyes again was just too shameful for you.
“Felix, here are the keys, why don't you get in the car and lock the doors until I come out, okay?”
“Okay daddy.” He smiled, taking the keys and disappearing from the house.
Your sadness suddenly accompanied by a flash of empathy across Chan’s features as he rubbed his hand on the crook of your back soothingly.
“I’m sure I've made quite the first impression on you today, haven’t I?”
“Ha ha,” you chuckled, quickly wiping the tears away, “very funny. I’m sure you think I’m a complete mess, crying twice, pouring red wine all over your clothes which will be impossible to get out. Rejecting your advances on me? God I’m so pathetic.”
“You’re not pathetic at all, y/n.”
Your sniffling came to a halt, teary and congested eyes looking to meet him once more. There was something about him that was super comforting. You suddenly felt so safe and secure when you looked into his eyes. His aura was so gentle, so kind and sweet, it was almost like he was a vampire; compelling you to spill your deepest and darkest secrets to him.
“Of course not. It must be so difficult trying to coparent a kid with your ex partner, and from what it sounds like, he’s not the most helpful person.”
You laughed sarcastically, “that’s an understatement.”
“I mean, it’s not like he’s going to win father of the year award anytime soon, hey?”
The giggle that left your chest was so loud, but you simply did not care at this point in time. You needed a good laugh. Life had become so stressful that laughing seemed to be the best medicine. As corny as his jokes were, you appreciated the effort Chan had gone to in order to make you laugh, and not feel uncomfortable about all the previous stuff you had done today.
“What I’m saying is, don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? You’re doing great as a single parent. You also have my number now, so if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call, okay?”
“Sure Chan,” you sniffled, leading him towards the door, “you better go, Felix is waiting for you.”
“Ah yes of course that little trouble maker, I’ll see you around.”
You nodded, watching him run to the car, waving back at the adorable duo as he beeped his horn to say goodbye. You closed the door, a heavy sigh of sorrow filling your chest remembering Seungmin’s previous words. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt to hear your child say such a thing to you.
Regardless of your hurt, you wanted to make it up to him. Fill him up with as many happy memories as possible to reflect on until he had to go to the devil’s house. You walked up to his room, knocking on the door lightly before entering, seeing a pouty Seungmin in his pyjamas in bed. Your heart soared at the sight. His anger still made you smile because it was so adorable, how could it not?
“Seungmin, it’s time for dinner, what do you want to eat?”
He said nothing, completely ignoring you. You huffed, playfully as you sat on the side of his bed.
“Come on pumpkin, we have to eat before we go and get ice cream!”
No response. You leaned in closer, poking your index finger into his squishy cheek. Still no response.
“Hmm but! Only good boys get ice cream. Do you know what bad boys get?”
You lifted your hands, shaping them into two paws as you attacked his sides, a leaping Seungmin from under the covers as he squealed, fidgeting at the ticking fingers eating up his sides. A mixture of screams and laughter filled the room as he begged you to stop your attack on him.
“Mommy, please stop!”
“Not until you tell me what you want to eat!”
“Okay, Okay! I promise I’ll tell you.”
You took them away, letting him sit up and give you a hug. A quiet gasp escaped from your lips at the surprise of his willingness to embrace you, considering the fact that he basically spit in your face moments before. Regardless, anything Seungmin did, especially when he was being affectionate made your heart melt and thus, falling in love with him even more.
Loud music blasted through the car as Seungmin sang his little heart out, getting you to join in as you were on the way to drop Seungmin off for another day of school. Today was a new day, and you told yourself that it was going to be a good one. Yes, Seungmin was going to your ex husband’s house, but no, today was going to be a great day. Nothing could bring you down.
“Okay my little angel, we are here!”
“Yayyy,” he shrieked, somewhat piercing your ear as he opened the door and patiently waited for you to open the boot. The smile on his face was unbeatable. Grabbing his backpack and placing it on his shoulders, he giggled, gripping on to your hand as you walked him to the front gate.
“Seungmin, wait up!”
Your head turned to see a beaming Felix that happened to have even more energy than yesterday, but you paid him little attention, eyes unconsciously drifting to Chan, wearing a completely different change of outfit. Cosy, comfy and casual, hot, was all you could think as he watched his son run through the gates in his black t-shirt that was way way way too small, and his black shorts that were way too tight. His skin was glowing, hair relaxed and resting across his forehead, those dimples lighting up as soon as his gaze became fixed on you. You nodded politely, heart rate increasing as he soon as you realised that he was heading towards you.
“Good morning sunshine,” he smiled, causing you to look down at the door and pretend to acknowledge what he said.
“Good morning Chan,” you beamed, matching his gaze for a brief moment, “long time no see.”
“Aha yes it is. Do you have work today?”
“I do, unfortunately, but it’s only a half day today, so I can go home early and just relax by myself tonight with a nice glass of wine and Netflix.”
“Make sure you don’t spill it this time, hey?”
It really wasn't that funny, but you’re not sure if it was because you were extremely close to him and his dimples were flashing inches away from your face or not, but the way you just snorted at his below average joke was astonishing.
“I’ll try my best, but you know me, clumsy mcclumbsy!”
The way he was now basically dying at your retaliation to him was beyond you. Your humour was the same. If anything, it gave you butterflies in your stomach at how smooth the dialogue really was.
You both settled down, finally in a stable way to continue your conversation.
“So I’m not sure if I heard correctly, but did you say you were going to be alone tonight? No Seungmin with you tonight?”
The high from your previous moment of comedy dissipated quickly, the idea of your ex popping in your brain doing the trick with that. You coughed, ridding the phlegm out of your throat as you changed to a serious tone.
“You heard correctly, Mr…?”
“Right, Mr. Bang. Seungmin is getting picked up by his deadbeat dad after school, so the next couple of nights it’s just me, myself and I.”
Chan chuckled politely as he brought his hand to the back of his neck. You both stood in silence, but you could tell that he wanted to say something.
“Did you want to maybe, I don’t know, hang out tonight?”
“Yeah, I am cooking and I think it would be nice to hang out. I also know you're new here so it may help if I gave you some advice for some of the people around here because,” he paused, leaning closer, breath fanning on your ear as he spoke softly, “because some of them can be a lot. Look at the parents over there, 3 o'clock, staring us down like we are supposed to melt into a puddle.”
“Yes I can,” you chuckled, a shiver running down your spine as you poked a quick glance at said parents he was talking about. He pulled back, placing a hand on your bicep as he spoke once more.
“Come by at 4:30, dinner will be ready at 5:00. I’ll text you my address.”
And without even waiting for a response, he left without a word, leaving your flabbergasted and completely flustered. Why the hell was he inviting a single woman to his what seemed to be a very married household. Any logical and rational person would have said no and just flat out rejected it. But you were already too far gone, under his mysterious spell, to think it was a bad idea. Was it a bad idea? Absolutely. You crossed your fingers, praying that his partner was a very nice, carefree human being. Still, you couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face as you got into the car, driving to work that you usually would be loathe, but how could you? Knowing you would get to see Chan after was a gift in itself.
The heat of the water droplets cascading onto your body was extremely relieving. Even though you had only completed a half day, your feet were still sore. Being a retail manager was a lot of work, and seeing that you never worked a day in your life before, it was tiring. Nevertheless, the ache of your soles were almost non-existent, the thought of seeing Chan again for the third time in two days motivating you to be the best version of yourself.
“Oh my god,” you whispered, gently slapping yourself across the face at your very, very unrealistic epiphany. You had literally met this man less than 24 hours ago, but the grip he already had on you was unreasonable.
It was fine; that was what you told yourself. It’s just the fact that you haven't had action in years, that’s definitely what it was.
The shower was a time of isolation that you enjoyed, letting your body soak in the steam, that was, until you heard your phone light up, sound ringing through the echoed walls of the bathroom. You huffed, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around your naked body quickly, eyebrows furrowed as you saw Chan calling you.
“Hey y/n,” he answered, tone laced with concern, “I’m with Seungmin here, and he seems to be a little upset, did you wanna talk to him?”
Your stomach dropped, the worst thought coming into your head at Chan’s words.
“Put him on,” was all you could say, and he understood completely, knowing that wasn’t a time for small chat and mediocre dad jokes.
Your stomach dropped even further, hearing the sniffles cracking through the speaker.
“Hey baby, is everything okay?”
“Daddy didn’t come.”
“For fu-, he didn’t come and pick you up?”
“No,” he cried, his voice becoming weaker as his cries turned into sobs, “he forgot about me.”
“No, no sweetheart, he didn’t forget, he just, he just texted me actually, he’s stuck in traffic!”
The panic, frustration, and just pure rage began to bubble in every inch of your body. How could he forget?
“Y/n, it’s me again, did you want me to take him to his dad’s? He can sit with Felix in the car and calm down a little, could you text me the address?”
The kind gesture was making the boiling blood in your body decrease. Honestly, if you could, you would just say yes and let him do it. But it was one thing to have a stranger interact with your ex, it was another to get him involved in your marital problems. There was also no way you were letting him get away with this so easily.
“Thank you, Chan, really, but no, if you could wait for me to come and pick him up, I'll only be 5 minutes.”
“Yes of course, don’t worry.”
You quickly took the phone away from your ear, wanting to curse extremely loudly as you checked the time on your phone. How the fuck was it already 4:00?
“I’m afraid the only problem will be that I’m going to be late for dinner.”
“Y/n please,” he sighed, “we can push dinner back, I’m sure that’s the least of your worries.”
“It sure will be after I drop Seungmin off and give him a piece of my mind. Anyways, I’ll put some shoes on and head to the car, see you soon.”
The Guiness world record book had nothing on you. From the way you threw clothes on, chucked on shoes and did the laces, got in the car, and most likely sped to your destination. You dashed out of your car, knocking on the window of Chan’s back door. You plastered a fake smile, not wanting Seungmin to be exposed to the anger you had for his father. And at the end of the day, it was his father, and you'd rather allow him to form his own opinions than be influenced by yours.
“Sorry Chan, Felix,” you smiled, swiping the door open and grabbing Seungmin out, “I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta go. I’ll see you a bit later anyway.” You winked, shutting the door behind you as you scurried your less upset son to the backseat of your car.
The ride was short, well too short for you, not giving you enough time to formulate the absolute whipping your ex husband was about to receive. Before you knew it, your legs had already taken you to the front door, hearing the ridiculously long and obnoxious doorbell as you held Seungmin’s hand, tight. The door was opened, rolling your eyes when it wasn’t him on the receiving end.
“Hi, Yeji, is Changbin here?”
“Yes, but he’s busy-”
“Great!” You chirped, the fakest of fake smiles on your face when you were greeted by Changbin’s assistant. Without asking, you barged in, Seungmin being forced to follow. Your jaw was clenched, observing your said ex husband prancing around his living room, a random person in a robe spread across his lap. All was smiles and laughter, that was until his eyes laid on you.
“Y/n, what a pleasant surprise, what are you doing here?”
“Oh, hey Changbin. How are you? Looks like you’re having the time of your life while your beautiful son was waiting for you to pick him up from preschool today.”
The arrogant smirk on his face was wiped away at an extremely fast pace when his gaze lowered to a puffy-faced Seungmin. He ran over, lifting him up and spinning him around, making him laugh in excitement.
“Hey buddy, sorry I couldn’t come and get you! I was on the way but, but I-”
“You got stuck in traffic, didn’t you?”
He looked up at you, a look of annoyance hijacking his features whenever he laid his eyes on you.
“Yes, now buddy, what do you say about having a shower and going out for some ice cream?”
“Yayyyy! Thanks dad.”
Yeji took Sengmin’s hand, leading him upstairs to help him get ready. But as soon as they left, Changbin reached out his arm, signalling his ‘new partner’ to come and join him by the hip. You scoffed, not even surprised anymore by his typical behaviour of his seductive ways.
“Can I talk to you for a second, without your new sex toy?”
He turned to them once more, placing his fingers underneath their chin as he placed his lips on theirs, capturing them in a grossly sensual kiss, before she disappeared into the kitchen.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What? You fucking forgot our child? Like what the fuck were you thinking? What could you have possibly been doing that is more important than picking your son up from school!”
You hadn’t planned on your voice becoming this loud this quickly, but the way you had to pretend for the past 30 mins was too much to handle.
“I was busy with a guest.”
The shortness of his answers only made your blood boil more.
“So having sex is more important than your kid? You know he told me he hates me after I told him he had to come here today. You said you want custody and you wanted to see him and let him have his dad in your life. I agreed to it because I don’t want him to resent me for not having a relationship with his father, but how am I supposed to take you seriously when you can’t do such a simple task?”
He didn’t even say anything which, honestly at this point you were not even surprised by. There was no use in trying to tell him because nothing ever got through to him.
“You know what, I can’t do this right now. I’m late. I’ll see you in two days.”
It wasn’t until you turned on your heels that he decided to speak.
“I’m not sure why you’re acting all high and mighty when you didn’t even want to have him in the first place.”
His words crushed your heart. Usually you paid no mind to any insult that he could come up with, but this was deep. His words were so hurtful with every intention to cut you deep, and man, did it work.
“I know what you’re trying to do, and yes, you’re right, I didn’t want to have kids, but I knew you wanted one, and I thought maybe having a kid would help our marriage. But it didn’t, and it’s not because of me, it’s because you never respected me, or thought of me as your equal, I was just a chess piece to you, making you look good. I’m a good mom, and you're the pathetic dad/husband, neglecting the people who really cared about you the most. That’s something you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life. Good luck with that.”
You didn’t bat one eye, storming out there and slamming the large door behind you. An exasperated sigh of relief escaped your chest as you got in the car and punched in the GPS location to Chan’s house. Everything that had been brewing on your chest was finally out and in the open. It didn’t matter anyway, the sole thought of Seungmin having to stay there, his father full of empty promises, multiple people of different purposes to him frolicking around the house.
You had to increase the volume of the music in your car to distract yourself from any thought of your sun possibly suffering in your house. Driving today was a blur for you, because before you knew it the loud music and open windows had led you to your destination. You checked yourself in the rear mirror, realising that you had no makeup on, a hoodie and sweatpants as your attire. Fuck. Fucking Changbin. He always found a way to indirectly fuck up your life. Even so, you walked out of the car and knocked on the door with confidence. It’s not like you had any other option.
The comfort that you felt when the door was opened to Chan’s face, and not your ex husbands was immediate. He smiled, slightly confused at the way you had barged into his house.
“Oh, everything’s fine, just walked into my ex husband dancing around the house with a stranger in my old robe, throwing it in my face that I didn’t want to have kids, solely to get back at me for yelling at him about forgetting to pick up Seungmin and I-”
“Woah woah,” he gasped, closing the door behind him ,”slow down, you’ve barely walked into my house.”
“Oh shit,” you choked, covering your motor mouth with your hand, “I’m so sorry, your partner must be so confused.”
Chan didn’t say anything, instead leading you to his living room. You were puzzled, firstly at his reaction to your statement, but secondly by the fact that you walked into an obviously empty house, not another adult in sight.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” he smiled, “could I get you a drink, some wine perhaps?”
The grin that was begging to arrive on your face was bursting at the seams. The wine jokes would never not be funny.
“Sure, uhm, just wondering where your partner is though.”
He didn’t reply straight away, pouring your drink instead and handing it to you before you spoke.
“Listen, y/n, I just want to be honest with you, because I haven’t totally been yet.”
“Oh my god please don’t tell me you know my ex husband somehow and-”
“You know you shouldn’t assume what someone is going to say before they explain things.”
“Oh,” you wallowed, “sorry, again.”
“I’m just joking. Anyways, I feel like I have given you this impression that I am married, or have a partner or, basically, that I’m not single.”
Your ears perked up at his statement. You tried to stay calm, not showing your eagerness towards the idea that sir Chan Bang might be as single as you are.
“I am not any of those things.”
“No, I’m actually recently divorced.”
“Oh,” you nodded, taking a sip of your wine, “you’re recently divorced?”
“Well, about 6 months actually. Felix is actually at theirs tonight.”
The tension in the air had become thick from a small moment. There was an implication, you could tell. The tone in his voice had suddenly changed from friendly and kind to deep and seductive. You could have been reading this completely wrong. But the cues were there. The smirk on his face, his body language, the way he was drifting closer and closer to you. It was becoming very hot, very tumultuous. The whites of his knuckles holding his glass ‘accidentally’ brushing against the blush on your face, arm wrapping around and interlocking with yours as he took another sip.
“So, how was your visit?”
“Awful,” you scoffed, trying your best to ignore his proximity, “he’s just such a fucking dick.”
He let go, realising that you weren’t in the most playful mood he was giving. Chan was a good listener, and he could tell that you just needed someone, another adult, to talk too. The stress that was oozing from you was almost overwhelming in a way. He moved you both to the couch, bringing the bottle with him, sensing that you probably were going to need it.
“Oh yeah? What happened?”
“Before I start, can you please fill up my glass? And not in the polite way, but to fill it up because I want to get a little drunk.”
A small chuckle left his lips, Chan doing as you pleased as using almost a quarter of the bottle to complete your glass. His gaze was careful, leaning into you slightly as you began to speak.
“He just, ugh he is just so carefree and lives such an easy life drowning in his millions and billions, but life isn’t like that, you know?”
“Of course,” he replied, placing his hand on your knee.
“We don’t live like that as adults. You have a kid and you don’t care? You can’t live like a playboy for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not, you have to work with me and make this work, and he just doesn’t.”
“I totally understand what you mean, my ex isn’t the easiest to deal with either.”
“Yeah, they just, were we really happy? Well I thought we were, until I found out that there was an affair going on for over half of our marriage.”
Your heart sank at his words. You could relate to him, especially since you had known about multiple different partners that would come in the house, sometimes even when you were there. But it didn’t matter, you could see the hurt in his eyes. It made you want to be closer to him, be the safety blanket he had been for you in the last couple of days. It was like he was someone you knew for a long time the more he spoke.
“I found out soon after that Felix wasn’t actually my kid either.”
“Oh, shit,” you blurted, unaware that your wine glass, which was filled up to the brim in case you forgot, “that’s fucked up.”
“It is what it is, I guess.” He sighed, swallowing his drink down in one gulp to catch up with you.
What felt like hours, but really, was only minutes had flown by, the drinks hitting both of you as you fell to the floor, alcohol induced laughter taking over your bodies simultaneously as you talked about the most ridiculous of things. Yes, you were having fun, but the more he spoke, the more attracted you became to him.
“God,” you cried, laying flat on the floor, “our lives are so stressful and fucked up.”
“You’re right about the one sweetheart.”
He smiled, crawling over to you. But when he tripped over in the process and accidentally landed on top of you, that was when things were getting real. Chan giggled, hands cupping your face. He said nothing, eyes stuck on you as he lifted his leg, now fixed on top of you. His closeness made you gasp, his crotch barely brushing against your core as he moved in closer, and closer, and closer.
“Can I tell you a secret,” he whispered, lips milliseconds away from your own.
You nodded, quickly wanting to hear what he needed to say.
“I really, really wanna fuck you right now.”
It was like he had just run a marathon, because his breaths were hard and heavy. His hands began to grasp onto your sides. Your palms moved in unison, slowly wrapping them around his neck as you pulled him closer to you.
“What the fuck are you waiting for then?”
Nothing needed to be said as he smashed his lips against yours. It wasn’t the smoothest, desperation taking over as he nipped your teeth, small groans and moans erupting as you tried to find a comfortable position. He was clumsy, making you somewhat frustrated, but it was endearing.
An idea popped into your head. You pulled away, wiggling yourself from his grip and standing up. You pointed your index finger, curling it up as a signal for him to come your way. You grabbed him by his shirt, licking your lips as you pushed him onto the couch. Your mind was becoming hungry for him, partially from the alcohol, but mainly from the way his legs were so deliciously spread for you. He patted his left thigh, his lap calling your name as you settled yourself atop of him, legs wrapped around his waist as a small groan left his lips. Your hand began to roam once more, dragging them heavily up and down his arms as you let him take in what he interpreted to be the most beautiful sight.
“Oh baby,” he chuckled, roughly gripping your sides, “you’re so eager, aren't you?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
He liked your attitude: blunt and straight to the point. It is not like you were looking to get into a new relationship, or get engaged and enter into another marriage anytime soon. You didn’t need the softness or love or affection that came with love making. Hell, you hadn’t felt wanted or desired for a long time. Changbin, by the end of your brutally long enduring marriage, your sex life was non-existent. It killed you inside. All you wanted was to be tossed around fucked like a toy. To feel something other than hurt or anger is what you longed for, and if chan could fulfil those urges and make you feel like the sexiest person alive, you could die a happy life.
“Fuck okay,” he scoffed, hands snaking to your back as he pushed you forward, lips now full of desperation and arousal as they reattached to yours. The second kiss was much smoother. His tongue was eager, yes, but the way he controlled it: not too rough nor too shallow and he moved in rhythm with you. Your hands now wrapped around his neck as you moved your hips slightly his, eager to provoke him but also, chase the tingling sensation that was now forming as a result of this heavily sensualist kiss that you shared. You moaned into his mouth, pulling away, sucking on his bottom lip, a small pop bursting as you completely disconnected from him. His chest was tall, heaving intensely as you dragged your fingertips across his waist and down to the hem of his shirt. He took notice, quickly, lifting his arms as you took off his shirt, gasping at the exquisite physique that he was hiding underneath.
“Oh wow,” you gasped, leaning down to press a kiss on his left pec, “so this is what you're hiding from me Mr. Bang?”
“You like what you see?”
“Oh I like it,” you purred, dropping to the floor on your knees, “but I want to see more.”
Chan angled forward, soothingly rubbing his digits against your arms as you advanced to his jeans. You couldn't help but bite down your bottom lip to try and suppress the moan that wanted to escape from your lips as soon as his zipper was down. God, did his hard on look delicious. Hands on his knees, you smirked, tip toeing with each finger tip on his inner thighs. A shaky gasp came from his lips the closer you got to where he preferred you to be. It was cute. The way he reacted so quickly from such little sensation. This was going to be so easy.
“Tell me baby,” you whispered, face at eye level with his hard on, “tell me what you want.”
“T-touch me,” he whined, puppy eyes looking down at you, “please touch me.”
A devilish chuckle escaped from your lips. You looked up at him, teeth marks under his lip from biting down on them too hard as your digits barely slipped under the waistband of his straining boxers.
You were having too much fun teasing his poor man. The sexy, powerful, in control person you had just met yesterday had become all puddy in your hands. The power you felt over him was turning you on to new heights.
You sat up, sinking your teeth into his boxers, eyes hell-bent on seeing the pleasure on his face as you pulled them down, his cock hitting you in the face as it sprung out.
“Oh baby,” you cooed, placing a hand at the base of his cock, “you’re so big.”
A giggle of embarrassment came from Chan when you gave him such a compliment. He was dying for you to touch him now. To wrap those pretty little lips he has been thinking about on a constant loop around his throbbing cock. It was so close. The look in your eyes, full of dark and lustrous ideas that could make him cum right now, on the spot.
Eyes still fixed on him, you smiled, pushing a light thumb over the tip of his pulsating cock, slowly bringing your lips to a similar spot. The sounds that escaped from Chan’s lips were heavenly, enjoying the way he became louder and louder the more you took of him in your mouth. You hummed against him, vibrations trembling through his body and adding to the pleasure he was receiving from them.
“Oh my fucking god,” he growled, digging his hands into the base of your scalp, “so. Fucking. Good.”
You looked up at him, a sense of pride coming into your bones at the way he was straining against the backbone of the couch, eyes rolled completely to the back of his head, only the whites of his eyes visible as you moved along his shaft. He was enjoying this so much. The way your hands were placed on his hips, you on your toes as you quite literally sucked the soul out of him. He had never felt so alive under someone else’s touch, a fire burning in the pit of his stomach, across his arms, down his legs, inside of his chest. Your touch lit him up, igniting him and ways he could not describe.
The way you were able to make him forget about the realities of the world, brain fixated solely on the pleasure he was receiving from your mouth was having an effect on you also. You were so used to receiving things. Expensive gifts, unwanted advances. It was true that you had a lot of things handed to you in your lifetime. It gave you no power, no control. This was the first time you could truly say that you had the power you desired over a man. As sadistic as it sounded, it truly made you so wet. A hand that was previously on his hips now moves to your own body, palming yourself against your clothed core. You looked up to check on him, eyes wide open and jaw completely strung out as he looked down, nothing but admiration in his expression at the way your head bobbed effortlessly on his cock.
“Shit, y/n,” he huffed, “I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop.”
You froze for a moment. There was no way that this was how the night was going to end. You were just as needy as him to feel the sexual touch of another man as much as he was eager to feel the touch of another woman. He gasped for a moment, slightly annoyed at the pop sound that came from your lips as you took them away from his angry cock.
“We can’t have that yet,” you cooed, “what about me?”
“I wanna fuck you.”
“Oh you do? How come I’ve still got all my clothes on?”
The way you stood in front of him, hips swaying gently to the non-existent music as you began to rid yourself of your pants, twirling around as your hoodie hit the floor; thank god you wore nice undergarments at least. He was starting to feel lightheaded. Your presence being so arousing to him. You were enjoying yourself, he was enjoying himself, there wasn’t much more you could ask for. Being able to have fun without any consequences after the fact was the perfect idea of fun in your mind.
“You’re having fun, aren’t you baby?”
His voice took you off guard for a moment. The dark, sultry tone returned to his voice as he stood up in front of you. The way he was completely naked made your creep back into a position of intimidation. For a moment you had forgotten how broad this man really was. Shoulders overshadowing your figure the closer he got to you. He leaned in, lips attaching to your neck as his hand spiralled down your body fingertips cupping your core as he began to speak.
“Fuck, you’re so wet for me already huh?”
Only a stifled moan could be heard from you, the delicacy of his touch not being enough, yet driving you crazy simultaneously. The gentleness of his touch, mixed with the callous texture of his pads was so good. A filthy chuckle escaped from Chan’s lips as he saw the look of despair etching onto your face. His cock twitched, truly getting off to the way such little touch had such a diminishing impact on you. His eyes were on your lips, then your chest, then your lips again.
He smirked once more, reaching a single hand around your back and unclasping the beautiful black lingerie that previously hugged your chest. All of his movements were so slow, so seductive, so sensual. You couldn’t help but breathe heavily, anticipating what was yet to come. Keeping his fingers on your soft spot, he groaned, other hand tweaking at your left nipple. An animalistic groan escaped his lips at the way your body continuously gave into him. Buds hardening instantly. He pushed himself closer to you, your body shuddering once you felt his prominent member twitching against your inner thigh.
Although you enjoyed this tantalising tease and pleasure his fingers gave you, your impatience was growing. The only thing you really wanted right now was for him to fuck you into oblivion. Be as rough and unapologetic as possible as he put you at his mercy.
“Chan this is, this is r-really good,” you shivered, grabbing him by the wrist, “but I-”
“Are you gonna stop me again?”
“No,” you huffed, “god no I was just gonna ask you to do more.”
“Yes,” you chuckled, swiping your tongue across your top lip, “more.”
“Oh yeah,” he purred, gripping your at your sides once more, “use your words. Tell me what you want.”
And so you began, lips smashing against his as he moved his hands down to your ass, squeezing them for you as a sign to jump up and wrap your legs around him, which you did, gladly did as he continued your playful assault with your lips. You giggled against his touch, gasping at the way carried you up his stairs, opening his bedroom door and tossing you on to the mattress like you were barely anything. Chan continued his animalistic behavior, crawling on top of you, viciously standing over your frame as he gripped your now destroyed panties, stripping them swiftly off of your legs and to the other side of the room
“Talk to be baby,” he whispered, lips rubbing across your lobe with each word, “what do you need me to do for you?”
“I want you to fuck me.” You growled, surprising yourself by your own forwardness. Chan stood on his knees, eagerly grabbing his cock and swiping it across your folds. The sudden contact made you jolt, an evil cackle, mixed with a gasp of shock came from your chest. He kept it there, enjoying the way your hips bucked against him, relishing in your anguish to be stuffed by him.
“Yeah? You want me to fuck you huh?”
“Yes,” you whined, pushing your hips closer and closer to where you wanted, no, you needed him. He wanted to keep teasing you. Make you beg for his cock, beg for you to fuck him, but at this point, he was too impatient to wait any longer. Stroking himself a couple of times, he smirked, ogling at the way he plunged right in, your pussy so wet and so ready for him as his cock was buried deep inside of you. Your eyes fluttered shut, solely concentrated on the way his hand firmly gripped your sides, hips rolling towards you in such a gentle rhythm.
“Oh my god,” you moaned, absolutely lost under Chan’s control, “C-Chan.”
“Yeah baby you like that? Let me hear you.”
“Chan,” you moaned, sitting up and wrapping your hands around his neck, pulling him against your body, “h-harder.”
“Oh you want it harder huh?”
He didn’t even wait for a response, hips already picking up in pace as your skin collided, lewd sounds of heavily slapping filling the room. He growled, overpowering the mumbling breaths and moans that feel from your lips with each thrust. It felt so good, he felt so good. The perspiration on his forehead was gathering, back screaming at the way your nails dug into his skin. He enjoyed the pain, a sadistic streak of his own; he moaned at the burning sensation. Your head turned to the side, jaw broken open and eyes screwed shut as he became ruthless, animalistic almost.
“Fuck,” he growled, “you feel so fucking good around me.”
You couldn’t reply, the only thing coming from your lips was the sound of coming into a state of pure bliss. His pace was starting to become inconsistent, yet you still melted into his touch, the pit at the bottom of your stomach starting to churn. The pleasure was slowly starting to overwhelm you, and you could tell he was close. You clenched around him.
“Don’t do that, don't do that,” he whined, slowing down his pace, “I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.”
“I’m s-sorry,” you moaned, spreading your legs even farther apart for Chan, “you feel so good.”
Chan was giving it his everything to you, hips now slamming against you as he stood back on his knees, wrapping his hands around your legs, pushing them back to maximum flexibility as he was able to pound you from a new angle. Your eyes opened wide, mouth agape as you looked at him, veins popping out of his chest and across his forehead as he was finally hitting you in the perfect spot, making your eyes roll to the back of your head and you whimper mercilessly.
“Right there,” you cried over and over, “right there Chan, fuck.”
Another unholy growl came from Chan’s chest as his pace slowed, but the roughness of his thrusts gained strength each time, baseless screams coming from your lips the harder he went, cock pushing against your g-spot every second. Before, you tried to keep your pathetic noises to a minimum. Knowing yourself previously you tended to be on the louder side, but at this point, you were too fucked out to care. Your brain was slowly shutting off the closer and closer you came to the brink of your orgasm. Chan wasn't far either, you could see it in the way his lower abdomen started to spasm against you.
“Please, don’t stop,” you whimpered, “p-please I’m gonna c-”
“You’re gonna cum are you?”
“Yes baby, yes I want to cum.”
“Just a little longer.” He purred, knowing that you were at your wits end. You had no control over your body; you belonged to Chan at this moment. Everything he did felt so right. It felt so good. Being at someone else’s mercy and letting them use you for their own personal satisfaction made you so hot. It made Chan hot. The temperature in the room was high, and you knew that your body would sob with climactic pressure at any moment.
“Please” you whined, “please let me cum Chan.”
“You wanna cum?”
“You wanna be a good girl and cum for me?”
“Go on then baby,” he snarled, “cum for me.”
It only took a few more powerful thrusts for you to be clinging onto him for dear life, moaning his name over and over as you came, legs shaking, eyes clouded in a starry haze. Your body felt like it was on cloud nine. The intensity of your orgasm was something you had never experienced. It was so powerful that you barely noticed Chan’s high hitting him just as intensely, cum spilling down your left leg as he collapsed next to you. Your bodies heaved in unison, completely out of breath and exhausted. You began to chuckle, looking at the way his body was now covered in sweat. He lifted his head, wrapping his arm around your head and under your neck as he pulled you in closer into his chest, burying you in his perspiration frame.
“Wow,” he sighed, “that was, uhm,”
You rolled over on top of him, smiling at him before pressing a quick peck to his lip.
“That was great, but I’m starving, when’s dinner ready?”
Summary: You and your boyfriend are too stubborn for your own good. After a big argument, you realize you may have fucked up, and your relationship might be on its last legs.
Loosely based on detention by melanie martinez (v good song)
i'm writing for skz now :) warnings + fic under the cut~
Warnings: angst, drawn out fighting (you and Chan are so freakin stubborn gahdamn), reader is anti-emotions, Chan is a bit mean (purely fiction he is actually best boy ;-;)
onto the smut part: depictions of emotionless sex (don’t worry there’s fluffy sex towards the end), cum play, penetration, oral (fem receiving), oof I forgot to put very lil daddy kink it’s literally the last word of the whole fic lmao I couldn’t resist
I think that’s it~ enjoy~
Your heart reacts almost as fast as your hands, speeding up as you pick up your cell phone. It took two hours, but Chan finally texted you back, only to tell you, once again, that he won’t be coming home tonight. You sigh.
If it was earlier in the week, you would have tried to convince him to just come home, but you got tired of trying; if he didn’t just ignore you, he’d tell you he’s busy, that he has deadlines to meet. You knew it was an exaggeration, but you decided to give him space; after all you were the one at fault for the huge fight that started his silent treatment of you. You were planning on apologizing when he got home; but what you didn’t know was that Chan was firm on coming home only when you apologized. The situation was at a standstill.
You clicked off the screen and tossed your phone haphazardly on the nightstand. Even if you started the fight, isn’t Chan being a bit too harsh by ignoring you so coldly? You let a few tears slip down your cheeks as you crawled under the covers.
One week began to turn into two since you saw your boyfriend. This morning you texted him ‘good morning’. After a few minutes, when you got no response, you followed up with ‘have a good day, I love you’.
Surely he couldn’t ignore that. He had to say it back, right? You waited to feel your phone vibrate, your hand beside it in your pocket as you walked to your job at the cafe.
You slipped off your coat and hung it in your locker. You put your apron on slower than usual, as if that would make his text come through quicker. “Yn, you’re on!” your coworker who was leaving called. You closed your locker, the last spark of hope inside you slipping away slowly.
The morning shift was busy; taking orders and shuffling around behind the counter, cutting pastries and making drinks, but Chan never left your mind. “Thank you, enjoy!” You smiled as you handed a warm macchiato to the last customer of the morning rush. The flow of customers started slowing down, and you sadly leant on the counter.
Suddenly a small hot chocolate drink was placed in front of you. You looked up, your coworker, Sooyoung, smiling softly at you.
“You look sad.” she said simply. “What’s up?”
You smiled weakly and took the drink. “Nothing, just…” you hesitated opening up, but then you thought back to something Chan said during your fight.
You never let me know how you feel! Why won’t you let me in?
Although that wasn’t the main point of contention that night, it rang through your head lately. You weren’t great friends with Sooyoung—in fact you weren’t great friends with any of your coworkers—but maybe Chan was right. Maybe you should loosen up a bit.
“Me and Chan, uh, my boyfriend, have been fighting this week.”
“Oh no,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You and Sooyoung spoke as the day winded down. It felt better to finally get everything off your chest, only a few more customers coming in before your shifts ended. Sooyoung went to sweep the floor and wipe down the tables as you quickly cleaned the machines and wiped the counters. As soon as you finished, you rushed into the coatroom and pulled your phone out of your locker.
No new notifications. Your shoulders slumped as you put on your coat and slammed the locker shut, trekking sadly back to your cold empty apartment. Maybe he didn’t love you anymore. The very thought made your heart clench as you walked home alone, your mind racing.
Unlocking your door, kicking off your shoes and outerwear, you pressed Chan’s contact on your phone. It rang a few times before you heard his voicemail. You redialled his number, a shaky hand coming up to wipe away the welled up tears in your eyes.
Your head perked up at his—albeit cold and annoyed—voice.
“Hi.” His abrupt tone towards you was so unlike him, it caused another wave of sadness to wash over you. You nervously fidgeted with a loose thread on your sleeve.
You never cried in front of anyone, even in front of Chan in the three years you two had been together. He tried to show you that the world outside the strong walls you built around yourself was quite nice, and he’d be there to protect you in it.
Nevertheless, you still struggled being vulnerable. Lifelong practice made it easy for you to hold your tears back, but for some reason, maybe because you were losing the only thing that ever truly mattered to you, you struggled to not break down on the phone.
“I–“ you cleared your throat, pulling yourself together. “I was just wondering if you are coming home tonight. Y’know, we could have dinner and spend some time to–”
You paused. “With what?”
“I’m working,” he continued.
“But we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for a week. It feels like.. like...”
“What, yn? What does it feel like?” Your heart almost stopped when he said your full first name instead of ‘sweetheart’ or ‘baby girl’.
“Like we’re not in a relationship anymore! It’s like you’re trying to avoid me, Chan.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You can’t be fucking serious.” His voice sounded further away for a second. You could imagine him pulling the phone away from his ear and pushing his hair back in frustration. Although neither of you wanted to fight again, you could both sense that this was leading to exactly that. Still, neither of you wanted to back down, ready to get your own points across, even at the expense of the other.
“Chan, I know you’re angry at me, but don’t you think avoiding me and ignoring me is a bit too much?”
“No, yn. You’re not going to flip this on me. Yes, I am still mad at you, but you’re too stubborn to apologize for anything.”
“Well, I think I deserve an apology, too. You know how much I hate being ignored.” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to cry.
“You took it too far, Chris.” Your voice cracked a bit as you spoke, and you hoped it was the case that Chan didn’t hear it, rather than he did hear it and just didn’t care that you were really hurt by his actions. Either way, he responded in the same cold, harsh tone.
“I’m staying at the dorms tonight. Goodbye.”
“Okay Chan, I love you--”
He hung up. He didn’t say he loved you back. If you felt unloved by him before, now you knew that it was pretty much over. You sat there in shock, not even realizing the tears rolling down your cheeks.
Chan immediately felt bad. He heard you say it, but his finger was already heading towards the end button. Still, he wasn’t about to call you back; you needed to learn your lesson. He was tired of crawling back to you after every fight, especially when you were in the wrong. He turned off his phone and buried his head back in the studio.
It wasn’t until two days later, when he finally decided to return to the apartment. He was as tired of fighting as you, but he promised himself that he would accept nothing less than an apology from you.
You were sulking on the couch, when you heard the door being unlocked. You looked up, startled when you saw an exhausted Chan stepping in. Dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slouched over a bit. He looked at you with a straight face, waiting for the one thing he wanted to hear the most. I’m sorry.
You on the other hand were waiting on the one thing you wanted to hear the most. I love you.
“Hey,” you spoke first.
Both of you remained quiet in your own worlds of ‘I’m right’.
Chan kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag off his shoulder. “So… shouldn’t you apologize?”
You scoffed. Apologize to a man who doesn’t even love you anymore? “Shouldn’t you?" you retorted.
Before another fight could start, Chan sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He walked to the extra bedroom that you both had turned into an office, disappearing behind the door. You can hear a glass clink, piecing together that Chan was probably pouring a drink. You sat up on the couch and took a deep breath, standing only when you managed to work up the courage to go confront him.
As you expected, he’s sitting back in his computer chair with a drink in hand, his back to you. “Chan?” you call softly as you place a hand on his shoulder. As if your touch disgusted him, he shakes it off.
“Now is not the time, yn. I really don’t feel like fighting with you right now.”
You turn around about to exit, but you clench your fists and turn back towards him. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grip the back of the chair and swivel it around. You take the glass out of his hand and place it on the desk before climbing on top of him.
You don’t say anything else as you smash your lips on his. The alcohol he just drank fills your senses, but there’s also a faint taste of cigarettes. You frown thinking of the stress he must’ve been under to resort to smoking. He half heartedly kisses back, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by you, and your chest tightens.
You pull back from the kiss, looking at your boyfriend. He looks back at you, no emotion in his eyes. You avert your eyes from his intense, mean glare, fixing them on his firm chest as you begin to grind your hips on his, trying not to think about the fact that his hands should have been on your hips, guiding you, or that his lips should have been on your neck travelling down to your chest as he praised you.
Instead, his hands remained relaxed on the arm rests, head slightly leaning to the side as if you were boring him. You bit your lip, not because of your arousal, but because you were holding back tears. Chan didn’t notice, his eyes traveling down your body, drawn between your legs. He sighed and finally moved to lift the hem of your nightgown up to see your panties. His face remained stoic although his eyes were darkened.
You stopped moving on top of him and got up for a moment to pull down his shorts and take off your panties. You climbed back on top of him, continuing to grind your now bare core over his hardening length. You softly whimpered at the friction, feeling yourself grow wetter at the contact after going without it for so long. “Chan,” you moaned, trying to get him to say something, but he didn’t even look up at you, only pulling your dress up further to expose your chest, just ogling your body.
For the first time, it felt like he was just using your body for his own pleasure, and not in the sexy way. In the selfish, ‘one-last-fuck-before-I-break-up-with-you’ way. He groped your breasts roughly before running his hands up and down your body. They landed on your hips, guiding you to lift yourself up. He held his hard member, guiding the tip to your entrance.
You couldn’t help but whimper as he pushed you down. His length wasn’t even fully hard yet, but it was still a lot for you to take. You barely swiveled your hips, trying to adjust as his length grew even more inside of you, the feeling quite delicious. He was still playing with your breasts, licking his lips as he waited for you.
Your cunt clenched around him as you began moving your hips purposefully on top of him. Needing something to hold onto to keep your balance as you ride him, your hands scrambled to the arm rests. You whimpered when Chan pulled his hands away from your body, bumping his hands into yours on the arm rests.
For a moment, you expected him to grab your hand and interlace his fingers through yours as he often did. But, instead he quickly dropped his hands to the sides, rejecting anything close to the sweet gesture. You felt your heart break a little further, but you bite your tongue, holding in the hurt whine that you desperately want to let out.
Somewhere in the back of Chan’s mind, he can sense something's off. Sure, he feels amazing; after all he did miss your body over the past two weeks. But he notes that you’re not as loud or expressive as you usually are, like you’re trying to curl up and hide even as you speed up and begin bouncing on his dick.
His eyes were still fixed on where your bodies met and your tits bouncing in front of him, letting out breathy grunts. You were desperately trying to find some common ground with him, some kind of indication that he still felt something for you that was more than physical, but he wouldn’t even look you in the face. Everything about this felt wrong, sex with Chan without love felt empty. What am I doing? you thought. Before you could think it over, in one last attempt, you blurted out, “Look at me, Chan.” Your voice sounded weaker than you’d like it to.
His eyes flicker up to yours coldly and you almost flinch back at the glare. The look in his eyes is different than usual, cold and dark, all lust but no love. He almost gives in and softens his look, not missing the sad look in your eyes, but a voice in his head tells him to remember what he has been fighting for this whole time—an apology. Nothing more, nothing less.
After a while, your thighs ache and you fall forward and hide your face in his neck, bucking your hips in small motions. He finally makes another move, grabbing your hips and fucking up into you. His thrusts were sloppy from the beginning, just chasing his own pleasure.
Your sounds are even smaller now that they’re muffled into his shoulder as you hold onto him. You were no where close to your orgasm; trying to push your heartbreak away and lose yourself in the sex was easier said than done.
His deep groans were getting louder and he moved faster, his fingers digging into your hips almost painfully. He gives you one last deep thrust before throwing his head back and letting out a long groan. Your eyes squeezed tight as he released inside of you.
For some reason, as if your body had a mind of its own, you began kissing his neck as he came down from his high. The act of affection felt out of place and robotic in this situation. Completely spent, Chan’s hands fall away from your hips. Usually he would wrap his arms around you and hold you close, guiding your lips to his, and kissing you lovingly in a post-orgasmic haze.
But he does none of that, his body just limp as he catches his breath, his chest rising and falling beneath you. His head is empty, not knowing what to think until he feels your shaky breaths on his neck. He lifts his head and notices your shoulders shaking, a warm wet feeling on his collarbone. You’re crying.
“Yn,” He gently pulls your face back from his neck. “Why are you crying?”
“You don’t love me anymore,” you sob. You’re crying a lot; he has never seen you like this. You've only ever shown him your strongest side. He loved it, your confidence and ambition, it’s what drew him to you. But over time, he wished you could let your guard down more around him.
Chan is left speechless. He does love you—so much, more than he can ever say—but his voice doesn’t seem to work. In that moment, his head is just swamped with regret and shame that he just abandoned you and your relationship without talking it out or resolving anything, even hurting you in the process.
Only now did he realize that ignoring you like this only sealed up every successful crack he made to the walls you built around yourself. He just selfishly waited for an apology without even hearing your side. He just put you in detention.
He remains silent in a daze as you stand up from him. Not even his cum embarrassingly dripping out of you and down your leg can distract you from your broken heart. You fucked up big time. Now he hates you. He doesn’t love you anymore.
You grab your clothes and quickly try to leave.
“Yn, wait,” he calls. Before you can lock the bedroom door and begin packing your bags, he’s already right behind you, pulling you close and hugging you tight. You can feel his heart beating fast. He can’t lose you.
“I love you yn, so much. More than anything.” Chan’s voice is soft and he’s a bit teary-eyed. “I was just shocked seeing you cry.”
You turned around and buried your face in his chest. “I don’t wanna fight anymore. I’m sorry. Don’t leave me again.”
“I didn’t leave you baby, I’ll never leave.”
“But you did! I know I was wrong, and I’m sorry for that,” you apologized again. “But you didn’t even try to talk it out with me. You just ignored me and I felt like we were done.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry baby. I'm sorry, I took it too far.”
You both stood there in each other’s embrace for a moment before you broke the silence. “C-can you kiss me?”
He smiled warmly at you. “Of course I can kiss my baby girl.”
When his lips met yours, you could feel the love that lived in them return. You smiled as the kiss got deeper, Chan’s hand cupping your face and pulling you closer as if he couldn’t get enough of you. A thought flashed through his mind, humming softly as he pulled away. “You didn’t cum.”
“No, but it’s alright,” you giggled, looking into his soft brown eyes as they flickered down to your lips. He couldn’t help but run his thumb across your swollen bottom lip. “Are you sure?”
“So if I lay you down and make you cum, you’d stop me?” he smirked.
“Why don’t you find out?”
Chan playfully pushed you down on the bed, climbing on top. He kissed down your body, his hands pushing your knees apart as he opened your legs wider, now face to face with your swollen, messy folds.
“Such a pretty pussy.” Your cunt clenched at his words, your boyfriend biting his lip and chuckling darkly as some of his fluids squeezed out of you. He licked up your slit, moaning at the taste of you and before going back in, dragging his tongue deeper inside your folds. “So fucking delicious.”
Your face burned at his comments. He pulled away and ran his finger teasingly down your slit before pushing inside, some more of his cum spilling out the sides. “So full of my cum.” He swirled his tongue around your engorged clit and your legs twitched. “This is my pussy, yeah?”
He inserted another finger, pumping in and out of you, fishing his cum out as he sucked and flicked his tongue over your nub. You nodded your head, cursing as your orgasm grew closer and closer. His tongue and fingers worked your core, your legs shaking uncontrollably.
“Cum for me baby,” you heard him say between sucks, feeling every vibration of his voice throughout your body. Your body tensed up and your toes curled, your back arching painfully as you came on his face with loud moans of his name.
He helped you ride out your orgasm, stopping as you became sensitive, and kissing up your body. He sat on his knees as you caught your breath. After a moment, you opened your eyes to look up at Chan, to see him licking his fingers clean and smirking down at you. “We taste so good baby,” he said breathlessly as hovered over you and devoured your lips, pushing his tongue onto yours so you could taste as well.
You moaned into the kiss, feeling his length was poking at your thighs, hard again. Chan was planning on just cuddling your spent body to sleep, pulling away from the kiss to look at your flushed face; but what he found was you biting your lip, smirking wickedly with your cute tired eyes as your hand grabbed his erection and angled the tip at your entrance again.
“You missed me, huh?” he teased, thrusting his hips forward the rest of the way, moaning at the way he easily slid into your wet tight core. You giggled. “Very, daddy.”
Warning: soft dom!chan, sub!reader, chan’s an idol here, fingering in the bathtub, make outs, i made his company sound good lmfao #fuckjype, reader calls chan baby boy
Extra notes: god, this makes me wish i had chan as my bf… sigh if only </3 but anyhow, idk what else to add here, so i hope you enjoy it nonetheless !!!!
This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised. ——————————————————————————-
What a fucking stressful day.
Chan thought to himself as he drives himself back from the building where he works all his might and spends most of his day there. Don’t get him wrong, he loves what he was doing, he wouldn’t give up his job for anything as it is his dream to reach where he’s at. But with his dream job, there’s about have some hiccups in there, and that is how tumultuous anf tiring it can get.
Chan is in no way lazy, no one has ever thought of him as that, not his bandmates, not his partner, not his friends, family, coworkers, not even himself, and this man carries more criticism about himself than praise. If anything, he has the tendency to overwork himself, and he enjoys doing so. But he can admit that at times, it gets really draining and at times he does get burned out with ideas. Comebacks after comebacks, while it sounds great to him, his bandmates, and his fans, it can still take a toll on him and his group’s mental health.
Seeing how drained and tired he was, he was ordered to leave and have a few days off. At first, Chan was skeptical, as he never went through this, however that skepticism was soon changed after realizing two things. His members have often commented about how exhausted he seems. How his eyebags has started to get deeper, how he kind of started to slack off and started to doze and zone out when someone talks to him, all in all he looked like a mess that needed to be fixed.
He knew he needed that break, but he also realized something else. He began thinking of you. While yes, you two live together, but you two only see each other when you both are going to hit the bed and sleep. Oh, how much he misses the late night conversations you two would have in bed, how you two would hold onto each other as you two doze off, or during those sleepless night where you two‘s bare bodies would beautifully touch each other, resulting in heavy breathings and moans spreads through the night.
God damn, does he miss having you in his arms.
He was so deep into his thoughts, that he didn’t even realize that he already reached into the parking lot of his apartment. He shook his head as he sees himself staring at the steering wheel in front of him and got out of his car.
He went into the elevator and pressed the button on the floor where you and him resided on. He tried so hard to not let him get into deep thoughts again, as he couldn’t wait to finally see you, awake and well. The door opened wide and Chan was out of there. He reached to the door of his complex and walked in as he opened up the door with his keys.
He saw the apartment complex being clean but yet quiet. He checked the time and he saw that it was mid afternoon, a time that you would be at home already from work. He walked into the place, took off his shoes, and off to your shared bedroom he goes. He intially wanted to investigate where you could have been, or maybe plan a mini surprise for his sudden appearance, but that all changed when he heard a humming from the shared bathroom.
It was a familiar hum and it was definitely not alarming to Chan as he recognizes your voice from outside the bathroom door. He held the door knob and slowly opened it, hopefully not making a sound. It was no surprised that you left the door unlocked as you were home alone-or at least you thought you did-and you wouldn’t expect anyone would open up the door.
The door was slowly opened wide and there he saw you. You were laid in the bathtub, rose-jasmine candel lit up next to you at a safe distance, bubbles and rose petals covered up to your chest, knees were propped upwards and your hair was tied up. Your relaxed facial expression, head lifted up, closed eyes and slight humming made you look like an angel, maybe even a goddess, to Chan’s eyes. He smiled at the scenery, but he still wanted you to know his presence.
“Chan, I know you’re staring,” You spoke, still not moving from which made Chan look at you in disbelief, “how did you know I was standing?”
“I got psychic powers,” you jokingly remark, which made Chan raise one eyebrow, “also I heard your footsteps and I knew it was you,“ You said, opening your eyes and your head turned to him with a smile, to which he smiled back endearingly and walked up to you. He sat next to you, placing his arm into the edge of the bathtub, “hi, baby.”
”Hi,” You said, leaning towards him to peck him on the lips, then resorted back to your previous position. Chan looked at you with full adoration as the back of your head was placed at the bathtub, exposing your neck to him. “You’re home early,” you said, you may sound calm, but on the inside you’re more than happy to see your physically absent boyfriend. While he does text you, call you, and does sleep next to you, you really did miss his affectionate presence. You couldn’t be too mad at him because you knew it wasn’t his idea to allow him to be the way he is, as you knew he would have made time for you as well. But you couldn’t intervene with his job, so you had to resort to online communication.
“Yeah, my job is letting me have a few days off so I can get back on track,” Chan said, his fingers started to play with the bubbles that were close to your knee, “and also to allow me to get back to your arms again,“ he added, as his fingers tiptoed up your knees.
You smirked at his last remark, “oh, really? Is that what the company told you?”
“Not the last part, but I’d like to have my day offs with you,” Chan’s voice started to become more lower, still playing with your knees. His hands slowly started to submerge under the bubbly water, as he stroked your thigh, and massaging it. He got closer to you, and you twisted your head slightly tilted to look at him with a weak, seductive smile, “I miss you so much, baby,” he whispers into your lips, as his hand went to your inner thighs, getting dangerously close to your heat.
You snickered lightly, “I missed you too, babyboy” after you whispered back, and there Chan crashed his lips into yours. It was slow but it was very passionate and fiery, you could tell that Chan was frustrated and he was held back, however he wanted to be sweet and gentle just based on his hestitant fingers not touching your heat.
“Chan,” you breathed out through the kiss, “please..”
“Please what?“ Chan pulled away, his face was still not a far distance from yours. “Touch me,” you whispered back.
”Gladly,” Chan muttered, as he began kissing you, this time his mouth was more opened and let his tongue go up against yours as his hand finally reached you wanted it to be. He rubbed your clit with his thumb, as he let his forefinger enter you, “holy fuck, i can easily slip in you, were you thinking of me, huh?” he pulled away to speak as you moan into his finger inside you.
”Y-yes, Chris, only you,” the way your lips expelled his real name out made his eyes go darker with lust. He smikred at you bottoming out as he slowly began thrusting his finger in you, “call me that, okay?”
”Okay, Chri—ha!” you gasp as you felt him inserting his middle finger inside you as well, stretching you out. Your noises was getting louder, and it didn’t help that Chan was began kissing up your exposed neck. His thrusts in you gradually got faster and rough, making you groan louder. With the pace of his finger, the water started to follow his movements, making some leak out of the bathtub. The floor and the clothes he was wearing getting covered in water as his thrusts were getting faster, and your shaking body holding onto him.
“Ch-Ch-Chris, I-I’m c—fuck!” You mewled, holding onto Chan’s arm, he pulled away from your neck to look at you with a smirk, his curly hair now covering parts of his eyes, “you‘re cumming?”
You couldn’t find yourself speaking so you ended up nodding, as the speed of his fingers and wrist were getting unbelievably faster. His smile and voice started to get darker, “cum then,” its as though he commanded you, because once he said so, your head was thrown back as you whined and whimpered out a noise that was music to Chan’s ears, indicat that you have reached your orgasm.
He slowly stopped thrusting, as he enjoyed the sounds you make when you’re slightly overstimulated. You began panting, as Chan got up and took off his shirt, “this isn’t over, baby, I have my day off, and I’m gonna make you skip tomorrow, just so you and I can hang out more, got it?“
While you heard what Chan said, you still couldn’t speak up, so all you could was look up at him with a smile and nod.
↳ They were high school sweethearts and Chan let his ego get the best of him. He her high and dry without a second thought.
“I didn’t deserve what you did to me.”
“I know you didn’t, but then again I actually never deserved you.”
word count: 20k
warnings: self doubt and body imagine issues. the reader was written as plus size trying to learn to love themself. contains cheating, explicit sexual content, cussing, mentions of a minor character battling cancer.
an: this is a reworking of one of my stories from spidey-babe-parker.
His entrance was met with deafening silence on your part. Your eyes bore into his, and if looks could kill Bang Chan was a walking dead man. Last time you saw him he broke your heart and blew you off so casually you would have swore you were just one of his groupies. He licked his lips as he always did and started strolling towards you. He raised his eyebrows in his signature fashion and you felt the bile crawl up your throat. You hated Bang Chan with every single part of your soul. Your eyes rolled so hard you feared they might get stuck in the back of your head.
He strode towards you and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and winked at you. Without a second thought you pulled the lid off your ice coffee and tossed it in his face. His cocky smirk dropped and he shook his head knowing he deserved it.
“Fuck off Chan,” you stormed passed him.
Before you could even get to the front door he grabbed your hand attempting to stop you.
“If you don’t let go of my hand I will kick you so hard in the ball you won’t be able to have kids,” you ripped your arm from his grip.
You stormed out of your family’s coffee shop and walked down the street freezing your ass off realizing you didn’t grab your coat before storming off into the cold.
The story of you and Chan was a complicated one. It started out as an innocent first love that led to excruciating heartbreak on your part, and a successful career in hip hop trio. You regret ever meeting the asshole. You often wished you could go back in time and tell your younger self to stay clear of bright eyed teenage boy who had big dreams of starting a music career.
You walked down the street towards your apartment praying that you would never have to see Chan again. It was already hard enough that whenever 3racha had any sort of promotion going on you would have to hear people once again talking about the cocky asshole.
Arriving at your apartment you unlocked the door and let out a heavy sigh. You pulled out your phone to see a text from your sister who worked at the coffee shop with you.
Is there a reason Bang Chan is sitting in the coffee shop covered in coffee?
You let out an audible groan that he didn’t get the hint to get out of your life.
Just kick him out and tell him to leave me alone.
Walking off towards the couch in your living room you threw yourself down on it and rubbed your temples already feeling the headache coming on from your blood pressure going through the roof after your encounter with Chan.
So I take it the coffee on him was your handy work.
For as long as you can remember you’ve had an anxious habit of running your fingers through your hair.
Yes it was and tell him to get the hell out of my life. Please.
You didn’t understand why all the sudden Chan had come back to town, let alone went out of his way to see you. He was well aware that you hated him. He got off easier this time by getting coffee poured on him. He needed to thank his lucky stars that it was ice coffee and not scalding hot coffee like you wished it was.
He’s gone but I don’t think he’s leaving town anytime soon.
You groaned at the fact that he couldn’t get it through his thick skull that your life goal was to never see him again. Your phone vibrated on the couch next to you and you picked it up to see a text from an unknown number.
We need to talk. I’m in town for a few weeks.
“How the fuck does he have my number,” you shouted into your empty apartment. Standing up you walked off to your bedroom to grab a coat you could wear to walk back to your coffee shop. You weren’t even half way through your shift and your parents would be pissed if they found out you stormed out of work in the middle of your shift.
Opening the door you tied up your coat that clang to her soft body as you walked back down the street in the cold air towards the coffee shop.
Stepping inside you were relieved to see they only had one customer, a regular Mary-Lou who had been coming to the café for years, and had known the story of what happened between you and Chan.
Jisoo was leaning against the counter scrolling through her phone. Her brown eyes popped up at the sight of you walking inside.
“I go on break and I come back to hear Jaemin telling me that Bang Chan is sitting at a table covered in coffee.”
You rolled your eyes wishing that somehow all this was some terrible nightmare. “What did he say?” Jisoo wanted to know what caused you to lose your cool on your ex-boyfriend.
“He didn’t say a single word, he just walked in and did that stupid fucking strut and gave me that damn smirk and I just lost it.” Your blood boiled just thinking about him smirking at you. You hated him so much and it pissed you off to no end that he ruined your day.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket and looked down at your phone to see a text from the last person you wanted to hear from.
You can’t ignore me forever.
Before you could even lock your phone, another text came in causing you to groan.
Part of you has to have missed me.
You knew you needed to save his name because he wasn’t going to quit texting you. His statement annoyed you, maybe it was because deep down you might have slightly missed him.
Can’t you leave me alone. You broke my heart enough, I don’t need this.
You shoved your phone in your pocket and walked around the counter and walked over to Jisoo.
“Please tell me you didn’t give him my number,” you prayed your little sister was more loyal than that.
“Fuck no I would never give him your number?” You said with a soft laugh.
Jisoo hated Chan almost as much as you. Your little sister was the one who was there for you when you cried constantly after Chan broke your heart. She also once threatened to break his nose and ruin his pretty face. Looking back on it you were really wishing Jisoo followed through on that threat.
It had been many years since Chan broke your heart, but the heartbreak was still fresh to you. It’s hard to get over someone when they are the pride and glory of the town you have lived in most of your life. Your town absolutely adored the success Chan had achieved with his music.
Your parents moved to the city and bought a coffee shop when you were in fourth grade. You didn’t have a lot of friends because you were an awkward chubby girl. You really only had your sister Jisoo who was a year younger than you. You met Chan in seventh grade and you became pretty close. Even at twelve girls seemed to fall at his feet. The summer between freshman and sophomore year was when things really started to change between you. Chan had been pushing himself even harder on the swim team and working hard to make music with Jisung and Changbin and you were watching your mother battle cancer. Chan would train all day swimming or making music and the second he was done he would go hang out with you, his best friend who had spent the day in the hospital with your mother. It all started out with you just watching movies at night or going on bike ride and it all changed one warm summer night when you confessed to him that you had never kissed anyone.
Chan couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that you were fifteen and had never had your first kiss. Being the gentleman he was, he offered to be your first kiss. He never expects you to take him up on the offer and he never expected to feel sparks with your kiss. The day following your first kiss he avoided you. Fearing that everything between you had changed. He was left completely confused. You were his best friend and weren’t his type by any means. He dated girls who were skinny and popular. Girls who were in peak shape like him. You weren’t tiny you had curves, and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you again.
After a whole day of thinking your best friend hated you because you were a terrible kisser, you looked out your bedroom window at midnight to find him awkwardly standing there.
After you had discussed your feelings Chan asked if he could take you out on a date. Chan had never been the type of guy who had a serious relationship but for some reason he wanted to give it a shot with his best friend.
Three days after his sixteenth birthday he competed in a huge swim competition and won first place. You were there by his side and couldn’t be prouder of him. You celebrated again when the following month you found out that your mother was officially cancer free.
Six month later Chan went off to compete in a huge swimming competition. The whole time he was gone you checked the internet every day to see how he was doing.
When he arrived home from the competition you knew something was off the second you laid eyes on him. He acted like nothing had happened for the first week he was back. Then one night when you started to make out and get handsy he confessed to you that he had cheated on you while he was away. This was the first time he broke your heart. You kicked him out and told him never to talk to you again. He managed to stay clear of you for two weeks before he was begging you for forgiveness. Like a fool you took him back. That was your first big mistake.
You managed to make things work for another two years before Chan got serious about making music. It was clear early on the trio had a talent for creating music and performing. You could tell something was off right from the beginning. You were going to college in the city and was in one of your classes when you heard a girl talking about her wild night with one of the boys from 3racha. You prayed on everything holy you wouldn’t hear Chan's name pass the girls lips, but unfortunately, you learned that your boyfriend had once again been unfaithful.
You rushed out of the class and ran to the bathroom where you broke down sobbing. When you confronted Chan about it you expected him to tell you the girl was lying, but instead you greeted him coming off cold. He didn’t deny it or even act like he was sorry. In the weeks leading up to that his ego had gotten quite large and had been acting quite strange. You didn’t understand what you ever did to have him cheat on you again. As tears ran down your face as you stormed out of Chan’s house. That was the second time Bang Chan broke your heart and you vowed it would be the last time. He had tossed you aside like you were some groupie and not his long-term girlfriend and best friend. You never wanted to see him again, you hated that you let him break your heart twice.
Your phone once again vibrated in your pocket and without even looking you knew who was texting you.
Just talk to me then.
You didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get the picture and leave you alone. You didn’t know what you did in life to deserve this. All you ever did was fall in love with a boy who was too selfish to love you back.
He responded thirty seconds later. It was clear he didn't plan on giving up. When Chan set his mind to do something he rarely gave up.
I could always just stay at the coffee shop for your whole shift.
Your heart just about stopped at the idea of him sitting in the coffee shop your whole shift with him just staring at her. Attempting to get you to talk to him.
You wouldn’t dare.
Part of you couldn’t help but wonder why all the sudden he was trying to talk to you again. You hadn’t been together in six years. You knew he had been with plenty of other people since you. Why couldn’t he harass them instead of you. Why the hell did he want to talk to you so badly? Especially after you poured your coffee all over him this morning.
You know damn well I would.
He left you speechless; you didn’t even know how to respond to him. Because you knew he would follow through with his threat.
I hate you.
Your sister cleared her throat and you looked up at her to see she had a concerned look on her face. She knew that seeing Chan really fucked with your head. She hated seeing you that upset.
“So, is Bang texting you?” She could tell by your annoyed face and furrow brow that you were annoyed by whoever you were texting.
“Yeah I want to know how the hell he got my number,” you leaned against the counter wondering who you were going to have to murder for giving Chan your number. “What the hell could he possibly want?” You raked her fingers through your hair.
“Lord only knows with him. Why is he even in town?” Your sister asked.
You shrugged your shoulders wishing at the moment you could leave town and just avoid him.
“He really wants to talk to me and honestly I don’t know if I can stomach spending alone time with him,” you sighed.
“What If you fucked him and left him in the dust?” Jisoo knew it was an insane plan but for some reason she thought you hated him enough you might do it just to get back at him.
At first, you wanted to tell Jisoo that was the stupidest thing you had ever heard in her life. Pushing your eyebrows together you actually considered it. Part of her wanted to hurt him like he had hurt you, but a tiny piece of you didn’t think you could bear to walk away from him again.
“I can’t do that,” you sighed, wishing deep down inside you could hurt him like he hurt you.
“I thought you said he was great in bed,” Jisoo cringed thinking about the time you started drunkenly tell her all about your sex life.
“It’s not the point I don’t think I can stomach even the thought of being naked with him again,” you shook your head.
Looking down at your phone you saw you had another text from Chan.
Should we have dinner at your favorite café?
You let out a loud sigh and rolled your eyes. Of course, he still remembered your favorite place to eat. It might have been seven years but it was obvious that the man still knew you very well.
“If I murder him what’s the chances I would get away with it?” You asked, shoving your phone in your pocket not bothering to respond to him.
Jisoo rolled her eyes at how dramatic you were being, “I think you would be considered the number one suspect. Especially after you dumped coffee on him today.”
Your phone started ringing in your pockets. Hesitantly you pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw Chan’s name on the screen. It wasn’t enough that he was harassing you through text now he was calling you. You clicked ignore. You couldn’t handle hearing his actual voice today. Texting was plenty for you. His voice was already ringing in your ears and he hadn’t actually said a single word to you, and yet he was all you could hear.
You sat your phone down on the back counter and walked away from it. You didn’t want to think about him anymore. You wanted to finish your shift without him bugging you.
The rest of your shift you kept your phone as far away from you as possible. You didn’t want to see any more text from him. You walked down the street in the cool fall air holding your coat close to you as you walked the short distance to your apartment. Walking inside you took off your coat and hung it up.
Without thinking you opened your phone to see if your best friend or your sister texted you. You groaned at the sight of another text from Chan. Why couldn’t he just get the picture? Wasn’t it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him?
I’m taking your silence as a yes.
Silently you stared at your mother as she told you about the party she was throwing for Mrs.Bang’s birthday. You knew there was no way you couldn’t talk your way out of attending this dinner. The worst part of it is you knew damn well this was going to be when you had to talk to Chan. Ever since you were a teenager when you were dating Chan, your family and the Bang’s grew extremely close. Your families had dinners together and threw parties together. Even after your nasty break up both your families remained close. Your mom and Mrs. Bang considered themselves best friends.
You picked at the bottom of your sweater half paying attention to what her mother was saying.
“(YN) can you please listen to me?” Your mother snapped her fingers.
“I heard you, we’re all going to the Bang’s house for dinner,” you sighed, not even able to act like you were excited or interested.
“I’m taking it by your reaction that you know Chan is in town,” your mother asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee as she raised her eyebrows at you.
Slowly you nodded knowing all too well Chan Bang was back in town, “yeah he stopped by the coffee shop yesterday.”
Your mother shook her head, “oh so you are the reason he stopped by covered in coffee.”
Of course, he stopped by to see your mother. He had always managed to stay in your mother’s good graces even after the breakup. Your mother fell for that infamous Bang Chan charm. Even after witnessing your heartbreak your mother told you that maybe one day you and Chan could work out your differences and get back together.
“Please tell me you didn’t give him my number,” you groaned already knowing the answer.
Your mother started making a latte and wouldn’t even look over at you, “Honey he came by and told me he really wanted to fix things between you guys.”
“Oh my god mother,” you shouted. “He broke my heart into a million pieces. I never wanted to see him again and yet you just gave him my phone number.”
Your mother shook her head, “you’re being overly dramatic. You were eighteen when that happened and you’re twenty-five now Honey. It’s time you forgave him, or at least hear him out and see what he has to say.”
Your mother was attempting to be the voice of reason. She knew you had spent the last seven years letting your heartbreak get the best of you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated other people. You had a few relationships over the years, but they were never anything super serious. Since Chan you seemed to be having a hard time opening your heart up to another person. He was your first love and he shattered your heart into a million pieces without even batting an eyelash.
“Please don’t pour anything on him at his mother’s birthday dinner,” she asked.
“I don’t know if I can promise that,” she sighed.
“(YN) you better behave.”
You were almost to the Bang’s house that was about ten minutes from your family home. You tugged on the bottom of your dress feeling oddly self-conscious of how the tight velvet dress you picked out clanged to your curvy body as you sat in the back seat of your mom and dad’s blue minivan. Glancing over at Jisoo, she's completely lost in her phone. Completely unaware of how anxious you seem.
“I don’t want to do this,” you whispered, hoping only your sister would hear.
“You can always just take off running the second the car stops,” she said lightly.
“Very funny,” you rolled your eyes. If anyone knew how much you hated Chan it was Jisoo, but that did stop her from making little harmless jokes.
You arrived at the Bang’s house and you felt sick to your stomach as you got out of the car slowly. You and your family walk up the stone pathway to the door. Jisoo rang the doorbell and soon Chan answered the door smiling.
“Good evening everyone,” he smiled, stepping aside.
“Chan it’s good to see you,” your father said, pulling him into a hug. Your father from the moment he met Chan thought he was absolutely amazing. After he found out Chan cheated on you, he wasn't the biggest fan of him, but as time passed he has clearly forgiven him.
“It’s good to see you too sir,” Chan patted him on the back.
Your family walked inside and you were left standing on the porch with Chan standing in the doorway smiling at you. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You didn’t even know what exactly to say to him at the moment. You took her bottom lip between your teeth and just silently stared at him. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to shake off the heartbroken feeling in your chest.
“Are you gonna pour coffee on me again?” he asked, leaning against the door frame breaking the silence that had formed between you. Softly you shook your head as you glared at him. “Do you want to come inside?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
You shook her head again, because honestly, you didn’t want to go inside and you sure as hell didn’t want to be standing outside talking to him.
“Do you think that maybe tonight we could talk?”
You sighed and looked into his warm eyes, “Chan please leave me alone.”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Just give me a break please.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes at his comment that he couldn’t seem to get it through his thick skull. “I did give you a break, by breaking up with you when you cheated on me for the second time.”
Your words felt like a knife to his chest. He was well aware he let his ego destroy the only thing that had ever mattered to him. He threw away the one girl who truly cared about him. He knew damn well that night he hooked up with that stupid college girl that somehow or another you would know. You could tell as soon as 3racha started getting bigger with their music that someone was up. You could tell by the look in Chan’s eyes that he had cheated on you. Nobody knew Bang Chan better than you. You could tell just by the way he looked at you he had a guilty conscience.
“That’s not fair,” he sighed.
“Yeah well it wasn’t fair when you cheated on me,” you didn’t bother saying anything else she walked past him into the house. You didn’t want your parents or his parents to question what was going on.
Silently he stood there and watched as you stormed past him inside. He hadn’t actually seen you in person in probably three years and yet he thought of you everyday. He thought often about if maybe you would give him a second, well technically a third chance. Every time he wondered if you would give him another chance, he remembered the look of pure heart break on your face when you realized he had cheated on you again. It was bad enough he had cheated on you once and you actually took him back. Hell would actually have to freeze over for you to even consider it now.
There were many nights in the busy city where Chan would go out with friends and drink too much and he would end up staring at a photo he had in his phone back when he was eighteen and you were together. It was a sweet photo of you kissing his cheek while he was laughing. It was right before he started talking about making music with the boys. Everything was perfect between you. Your mother was healthy and you had both just graduated high school. He was a local legend for all the swim records he had broken. He felt like a true king and you were his queen.
Chan, Changbin and Jisung started getting serious about making music and soon everyone knew who Bang Chan was. Labels started reaching out and his ego started to grow. Soon he was signed and was working on putting out music and promoting his group. Everything in life was going his way. He was well aware he was changing as a person but he honestly didn’t care. Looking back on the whole thing he should have never slept with that girl and he shouldn’t have gotten so wrapped up in himself that he pushed away the only girl he had ever loved.
Many of those drunk nights he wished he had your number so that he could call you and tell you that he missed you. He knew deep down inside that you wouldn’t want to talk to him and you sure as hell didn’t miss him.
He followed behind you and walked off towards the kitchen where he found you holding a glass of wine while talking to his mother. It still amazed him even after your rough break up that both your families still remained really close. It probably didn’t hurt that Chan moved away shortly after breaking your heart. He moved deep into the city with the boys to focus fully on music.
Walking over to the fridge he pulled out a beer and cracked it open and raised his eyebrows and smirked as he toasted his bottle against your wine glass. You just glared at him completely unamused by his attempts to interact with you.
“So Chan, how long are you home for?” Your father asked before taking a swig of his own beer.
With a shrug of his shoulder he said, “I don’t know sir I have some unfinished business I need to take care of.” His warm eyes locked onto your and you once again felt like she was going to throw up.
“Well while you're in town go ahead and swing by the coffee shop whenever and we’ll hook you up with a good discount,” your father jokes.
You didn’t understand how your family was so fine with him. They were well aware he broke your heart. You went through enough tissues crying that everything store around that sold tissues knew you were nursing a broken heart. Silently you drank your wine and watched as your parents fawned over Chan. You poured herself another large glass and contemplated just getting hammered. You thought the evening might be tolerable if you were wasted.
Mrs. Bang called dinner and everyone walked over to the table. You arrived last because she was pouring yourself another glass of wine. You were about to walk out of the room when you saw the only seat available was next to Chan. You looked over at your sister giving her a pleading look but Jisoo was too distracted talking to Chan’s younger sister Hannah. You looked over at Chan and found him smirking at you. You knew that he had planned all along for this to happen.
You sat down at the table next to Chan and glanced over at him to find him smirking at you. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath attempting to stay calm.
Everyone started eating dinner and making small talk. About half way through the meal Chan reaches over and rests his hand on your knee. It wasn’t an inappropriate touch or anything. Back when you were dating he used to do this all the time. You didn’t even bother giving him a second look, you silently smacked his hand. He smirked as he was listening intently to what your father was telling him. A couple minutes later he gently rested his hand on your knee again. Instead of his hand being smack away again you looked over and glared at him.
He winked at you and suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Excuse me,” you said, sitting her wine glass down on the table in front of you and politely moving his hand off your leg. “I’m gonna get some air,” you quickly walked out of the kitchen and headed for the front door.
Opening the door you stood in the cold night air taking deep breaths. You didn’t know if you could keep doing this. His touch didn’t make your skin crawl like you thought it would. For some reason his touch gave you butterflies, and you felt like you were being betrayed by your body. Leaning against the house you took a deep breath. The cool autumn breeze blew against your skin and you regretted not bringing your coat.
The front door opened and you looked over to see Chan walking outside holding one of his hoodies in his hands. He held his jacket out towards you knowing you were freezing.
“I don’t want it,” you sighed.
He closed his eyes as if he was holding back a snarky remark and laid the hoodie over the porch railing.
“I’m aware you hate me,” his tone was sad
You looked away from him and looked off towards the house across the street. You wanted to make a snarky remark. Like what gave that away, but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud to him. Your arms wrapped around your stomach attempting to hide the fact that this dress you chose to wear was too tight.
Running his fingers through his curls he watched as you tugged on your dress. He knew you felt self conscious in your dress. He wanted to tell you he thought you looked beautiful, but he knew you wouldn’t take his compliment. He settled for saying, “You look really nice.” His words caught your attention. You turned and looked at him pushing your eyebrows together.
“Chan, what do you have to gain from all of this?”
He bit his bottom lip and just stared at you trying to figure out what was going on in your mind.
“We already slept together. I'm not some conquest you have to chase after,” you sighed. Whatever game this was, you’re drained and over it.
“You were never a conquest to me. I actually loved you,” he said it so casually and it made you cringe.
“I think it’s obvious you aren’t going to leave me alone anytime soon,” you paused, wishing you didn’t actually have to have this conversation. “What are you so desperate to talk to me about?”
“I came back to say I’m sorry.”
You were caught completely off guard by the fact that he had actually said he was sorry to you. Bang Chan was someone who rarely apologized. You hadn’t heard him say he was truly sorry since right after the first time he cheated. He never said he was sorry after the final time you broke up. He never acted like he regretted anything when he was around you.
“Bang Chan is sorry?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. You never thought you would hear those words come out of his mouth. “That’s fucking funny.”
He shrugged his shoulders attempting to come off casual, “I know things ended badly between us, but I would like to fix it.”
You didn’t understand why suddenly he wanted to fix things with you. It had been seven years you didn’t understand why now he suddenly felt the need to apologize to you for everything that had happened.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “Chan you hurt me so badly.”
He nodded his head and stepped off the porch to walk towards you. He wished he could pull you into a hug, but he knew you would kick him in the balls if he did that.
“Honey,” he sighed.
His sudden use of your high school nickname suddenly made you furious. He lost the right to call you that. “Don’t call me that,” you seethed.
He raised his hands up, surrendering knowing that he didn’t have a right to call you that.
“Just give me a chance please.”
“Why should I?” You wanted to know why he felt like he truly deserved for you to even listen to him.
“Because a lot of time has passed and I think about us often,” he was never a man to talk about his feelings and he sure as hell would never admit to a woman that he thought about her often, but you weren’t a normal woman. He was standing in front of you, the only girl he had ever loved and he felt like he needed to fix things between them.
Before you could respond your dad opened the front door and peeked his head outside, “we’re getting ready to sing happy birthday.”
“Alright sir,” Chan smiled.
The front door shut and you went to walk inside. Before you could reach for the door Chan reached for your hand. “Please have dinner with me.”
You looked down at your hand that Chan was holding and then looked up at him to see a soft smile across his face. “I’ll think about it,” you pulled your arm away from him and stared at him for a long moment.
He pushed his fingers through his curls, “Okay please think about it.”
Please have dinner with me.
You stared at your phone long and hard wanting to respond, but you were at a loss for words. No matter what you said to him he was going to somehow turn it into a yes. If Bang Chan set his mind to something, he was going to get it done.
Standing in your kitchen you stared at Chan’s text. Even though you hated him, it had been seven years. Maybe it was time you sat down and told him all the things you needed to get off your chest for the last seven years.
You had a thought that if you were going to meet up with him, you wanted to do it on your terms. You thought that if he came over to your place, you could always kick him out and wouldn’t have to make a scene in your favorite café. You knew at some point he was going to say something that pissed you off and you were going to kick him out.
You can come over for dinner.
After pressing send you already regretted sending the text. You should have just ignored his text instead of inviting him over.
It’s a date then. I’ll show up at your place at six.
You texted him your address and rolled your eyes.
Standing in her kitchen with your best friend and your sister. You stared at your cup of coffee wondering how you could actually get out of having dinner with Chan. You had made a major mistake by inviting him over.
“I can’t believe I actually invited him over for dinner,” you sighed wondering if you should text him and cancel. Nothing could quite prepare you for spending the evening with him.
“So, are you going to have sex with him?” Siyeon asked.
You scrunch your face up and give Siyeon a look of disgust. The thought of having sex with Chan again made you want to throw up. You didn’t care that Chan was the best sex you had ever had. You could go the rest of your life not having sex if that meant you didn’t have to get naked with Chan again.
“No,” you said deadpan.
“I heard he’s got an eight pack now and a tattoo above his dick that says thank you,” Siyeon smirked before taking a drink of her coffee. You didn’t want to know how your best friend knew this information.
Jisoo dramatically gagged as you rolled your eyes. You wouldn’t doubt that to feed his ego that he had abs for days.
“I didn’t need to know that information,” Jisoo said leaning against the kitchen counter.
“My life goal was to never know that information and yet it’s now burned into my brain,” you groaned as you sat your cup of coffee down on the counter. “He’s supposed to come over in a half hour and I don’t even know what to do about us eating. I guess I could order Chinese food from that place we used to always eat back in high school.”
You thought back to all those nights in high school when your mom was in the hospital fighting cancer, and you would come home from the hospital late at night exhausted and hungry and would find your boyfriend sitting on your front porch with Chinese takeout waiting for you. You spend many late nights cuddled up on your living room couch eating take out and watching reruns of Friends together.
“I’ll bet you still know what he likes,” Jisoo said knowing damn well that you knew a bunch of little details about Chan that you wished you could forget.
“Jisoo please don’t say anymore. I already want to throw myself out of the window,” you knew you were being dramatic but you didn’t care.
“Why don’t you just hear him out and see how the evening goes?” Siyeon asked. “It’s been seven years, maybe he’s changed.”
You slowly nodded your head knowing that your best friend was right. Deep down inside you knew you needed to hear him out. He seemed so desperate to talk to you.
Siyeon and Jisoo head off leaving you alone in your apartment. You ordered Chinese takeout and made sure to get Chan his favorite shrimp and snow peas.
You stood in front of your closet attempting to figure out what to wear. You weren't even sure why you felt like you needed to dress up for him.
You settled on a grey sweater and pair of leggings. You didn’t bother wearing shoes, you just put on fuzzy socks. The sound of a knock on the door grabbed your attention, you weren’t sure if it was the delivery guy or Chan.
Opening the door, you found Chan standing on the other side. He wore a blue sweater with black jeans. He had his hand shoved in his pockets and he wore his signature smirk. His warm eyes locked on yours and suddenly you felt butterflies. Closing your eyes, you tried to shake the feeling. Your heart was betraying you. A simple smirk from him shouldn’t make you feel like you had butterflies in your stomach.
“You look beautiful,” he leaned against the door frame.
“Thanks,” you hesitantly said, stepping aside signaling for him to come inside. “Take a seat on the couch,” you pointed towards the couch. “Did you want a beer?” You asked, thinking back to the times late at night you would sneak beer from your parent’s fridge.
“Yeah,” he asked as he sat down on the couch that was in front of the window. He looked over and watched as you bent over and grabbed a beer for him. It had been seven years and he couldn’t lie, he still thought you were beautiful. Walking over to him you held out a bottle of beer. “Thanks,” he smirked.
The sound of door knocking grabbed your attention and you walked over and opened it up to see the delivery guy. You signed and took the bag and walked over and sat the food down on the coffee table in front of the couch Chan was sitting on.
His warm eyes looked up at you and he smiled knowing exactly what you ordered for him, “is that Nine Dragons?”
Silently you nodded and sat food down on the coffee table in front of Chan, and walked into the kitchen to grab two plates. You walked back to find Chan holding the container of shrimp and snow peas and he was smiling.
“You ordered my favorite?” He smiled, grabbing a pair of chopsticks.
You nodded silently and sat down next to him on the couch.
“Did you want a tequila shot?” You had a genius idea that maybe you could handle spending alone time with Chan if alcohol was involved.
He started dishing himself a plate and looked up at you and shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah sure.”
Walking into the kitchen you poured a shot of tequila and quickly took it and then poured Chan and you another shot. Walking into the living room you sat his shot down on the coffee table. He held his glass up to cheers with you but before he could say anything, you took her shot. The liquor crawling down your throat sent a shiver down your spine.
Chan let out a heavy sigh knowing that you were drinking to get drunk. He knew you well enough to know it wouldn’t take much before you were drunk.
“Did you work today?” he asked, breaking the silence that had formed between you.
“No, today and tomorrow are days off,” started to dish yourself some Chinese food.
You are in silence. The only sound was the radio that was playing in the background. You would both be lying if they said it wasn’t awkward. There seemed to be a tension between you that was definitely part sexual.
You finished eating and looked over at him as he awkwardly stared at his plate. He had so many things he wanted to say to you but he wasn’t even sure where to start.
“I’m gonna make myself a drink,” you sat up quickly. “Do you want one?”
“Sure,” he said, dishing himself some more shrimp with snow peas.
Walking into the kitchen you ran your fingers through her hair and let out a sigh. You didn’t know how you could keep doing this. There was no way you could just have a casual evening. You had a lot they needed to talk about.
You poured yourself another shot then made yourself a strong drink and made one for Chan that wasn't strong.
Walking back into the living room you handed Chan his drink and took your place back on the couch. You took a big gulp of your drink and looked over at Chan who was staring at you.
“Did you want to watch Friends?” You asked, thinking back to all the times you used to eat Chinese food together late at night watching Friends.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled, “are we going to cuddle?”
You gave him an unamused look and rolled your eyes, “you can leave if you’re gonna stupid comment. I want you to know now we’re not having sex. You’re over so we can talk and at the moment I would rather watch Friends together than chat.”
He knew he crossed the line with his little light-hearted joke. He didn’t exactly have a right to joke. He reached over and rested his hand on your knee lightly, “I didn’t come over here expecting sex. I came over to talk.”
You had watched two episodes of Friends and the alcohol had taken effect. You sat on your couch staring at him. In your hazy drunken state you for some reason wanted to kiss him. There was a flood of teenage memories flooding back to you.
“I have some things I need to get off my chest,” you sighed before taking another drink of your tequila and orange juice you were sipping on.
“Say everything you need to say to me,” he leaned back on the couch attempting to get comfortable.
“I don’t think I ever forgave you for sleeping with Lia. You broke my heart, you went and slept with a pretty little swimmer that was super in shape. Sleeping with you made me insecure enough. I never felt like I was good enough for you and you doing that let me know that I wasn’t good enough for you. Why would you sleep with a chubby girl when you could sleep with someone you could bounce a quarter off their stomach.” The word made your chest hurt just saying them out loud. You had been needing to tell him this for years.
He squeezed his eyes closed tight trying to process what you were saying. “You know I have always thought you were beautiful.”
“I don’t want to hear it right now. I have a lot I need to say to you,” you sighed.
“Okay,” he nodded.
“You broke my heart not once but twice. I put all my trust into you and you threw me away like I was nothing. You know what the worst part is even though I hate you so much. For some goddamn reason I’m still in love with you.” The words left your mouth and even in your drunken state you wished you could take them back. You had told yourself for many years you were in over with him. But you knew that was a lie. You didn’t know if you could fully ever get over him.
“I thought you were the one and I was gonna marry you one day,” you felt like you wanted to cry. You were tired of crying over Bang Chan but you couldn’t help it.
“You know you can still marry me one day if you want,” he said casually even though he was still trying to process everything you had just said to him. He knew you hated him, and he knew you had every right to, but he never actually expected to hear you say that you were still in love with him.
“I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to keep my dick in my pants,” he gave you a small smile “(YN) you have been on my mind constantly since the moment we broke up. Even when I try to push you out of my mind. Somehow you’re always there.” He ran his fingers through his curly hair and watched as you slowly stood up off the couch.
You walk through the living room stumbling a little because of your drunken state. You sat down on the coffee table so you were right across from Chan. “You know what sucks?” He shrugged his shoulders. He assumed you were going to tell him. “The fact that sex with other people sucked,” you rolled your eyes and let out a heavy sigh. You weren't sure what possessed you to say that to him. “Do you miss having sex with me?” Your question caught him off guard. When you were together, you hated talking about sex. Any time he tried to rile you up with dirty talk your cheek would burn and you would tell him to knock it off.
He licked his lips and nodded his head, “do you miss having sex with me?” He cocked his head to the side and was curious to know if he stayed on your mind.
You wanted to lie to him so badly but you knew you couldn’t, “yes.” You dropped your head in embarrassment. You didn’t want him to know these little details that you even kept hidden from yourself.
Picking up your glass you chugged the rest of the liquid courage. Reaching over you rested her hand on his thigh and looked into his warm eyes.
“Why did you do it?” You sighed.
His chest hurt as he stared at the girl whose heart he broke. You were asking him the question he constantly had asked himself over the last seven year.
“Because my ego got too big and I thought I had a right to be the way I was,” he reached up and rested his hand on your cheek and stared into your sad eyes.
“I didn’t deserve what you did to me,” you closed your eyes as they started to brim with tears.
“I know you didn’t, but then again I actually never deserved you.”
You pulled away from him and stared at him wide eyed. “I’m tired,” you murmured, changing the subject. “Can you help me get to bed?” You were drained emotionally and the alcohol had fully taken effect. You were going to be hungover after all you had drank tonight.
“Of course, I can.”
You stood up from the coffee table and you started walking towards your bedroom. Chan jumped up and placed his hand on your lower back and led you off to your bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of your bed you watched as Chan went to the bathroom and grabbed your makeup wipes. He knew you were anal about making sure you didn’t go to bed wearing any make up. He walked back into the bedroom to find you pulling her sweater off.
“(YN) what do you sleep in?” he prayed to god you didn’t say you slept naked because he didn’t think could keep calm if you got naked in front of him. He was trying his hardest to behave and show you he had changed.
“My night shirt is under my pillow,” you murmured as you rubbed the makeup wipe across your face. He walked over and handed it to you and you pulled your favorite comfy shirt on. You slowly stood up and wobbled a little bit and worked on getting your leggings off. You didn’t bother finding your shorts you slept in. You pulled your blankets up and crawled into bed.
He pulled the covers up and tucked you in.
You smiled at him and softly asked, “Chan, was she worth it?”
He shook his head, “no she wasn’t.” He leaned forwards and lightly pressed his lips to your forehead for a soft kiss.
He went to walk away, but you reached and grabbed his hand.
“What Honey?” he softly asked.
“Are you being serious with me about wanting to fix things?”
He nodded his head once again, “I want to fix my mistakes.”
“Okay,” you murmured before closing your eyes.
Your breathing quickly evened out and Chan walked into your bathroom and found the bottle of Advil and sat a few pills on your nightstand. He headed off to the kitchen and grabbed you a bottle of water and sat it down on the nightstand next to the pills.
He knew it was going to take work but he was determined to fix things. He needed to prove himself to the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about.
Your eyes slowly opened as your head was pounding. The alcohol betrayed you and you had the hangover to prove it. You groaned, pulling the blanket over your head to block out the sunlight. You felt like at any second, you were going to throw up. In that exact moment you wanted to never drink again. The sound of your door opening caused you to slowly look over the covers to see Chan standing in the doorway holding a plate of fruit.
You had a lot of questions about what happened. You remembered what you had said in the living room but everything in the bedroom was a blur.
“How did I get to bed, and why are you in my house?” You groaned, pulling the covers back over your head.
“I put your drunk ass to bed and I stayed and slept on your uncomfortable couch, because last night you said things that we need to talk about while you’re sober.”
You rubbed your eyes as you curled up under the covers. You weren’t ready to have the talk you needed to have.
“Shit I have lunch with my mom and dad. They said they had something they needed to tell me,” you sighed slowly crawling out of bed. Pulling the covers off you suddenly felt embarrassed that you were only wearing her undies.
“Did you see me naked last night?” You groaned, concerned about how much Chan saw last night. Sure when they were younger he saw you naked all the time, but you weren’t ready for him to see you naked again.
He slowly shook his head even though he wished he got to see you naked again.
“Okay that’s good.”
Looking over at your nightstand you saw the meds Chan left for you .“Thanks for taking care of me. I’m gonna get dressed, why don’t you go to the living room.”
Chan walked off to the living room and suddenly you panicked, you were hoping that you didn’t say anything too embarrassing when Chan put you to bed.
You made quick work of putting light makeup and brushing out your hair. Walking over to your closet you found a dress to wear. You quickly put on some warm tights underneath and a pair of boots. Walking into the living room you found Chan sitting on your couch scrolling through his phone. He looked up at you and smirked.
“Morning sunshine,” he said standing up.
“What’s the plan for today?” He raised his eyebrows knowing you still had a lot of stuff you needed to talk about sober.
“I’m going to lunch with my parents and you’re going home,” you sighed walking off to the kitchen.
You started making yourself a cup of coffee when you heard him clear his throat behind you. Looking over at him you rolled your eyes. You were hungover and had a terrible headache. The last thing you wanted to do was talk about your feelings right now.
“I’ll go to lunch with your family. I’m sure your parents would love to see me. I’ll text your mom and tell her to add one more person,” your eyes were like knives staring at him. You were trying to escape him right now. You didn’t need him to invite himself to your family lunch.
“Can’t we do this whole talking thing later?” You asked, leaning against the counter as you rubbed your temples attempting to get some relief from this pounding headache.
“Nope,” he dramatically popped the p.
“Whatever, fine. You’re driving because my head hurts too badly to drive.”
“I’ll drive you anywhere you like, baby girl,” he winked.
You felt like you wanted to throw up at the sight of him winking at you. “Don’t call me baby girl,” you pointed at him.
“Okay (YN),” he grinned.
“I need a strong cup of coffee to deal with you today,” you sighed as the coffee started pouring into your cup.
“I see you still love coffee as much as you did in high school,” he smiled.
Back in high school you were constantly drinking coffee before school and a lot of time after. You stayed up late, often spending as much time as possible with your mother at the hospital. Chan knew that most of the time you were only ever awake due to caffeine. So being the good boyfriend he was, he knew your coffee order by heart, and would constantly bring you coffee.
Slowly you nodded your head wincing at the pounding in your head.
“Do you still drink it the same way?” he asked, watching as you poured cream into your coffee. You nodded and put a spoon of brown sugar in it. “Did you want to make me a cup?”
Your eyebrows knit together thinking back to all the times he told you coffee was bad for you. When he was training nonstop for swim competitions, he told you nonstop that you didn’t need to drink so much coffee, but being the good boyfriend, he brought you coffee constantly.
“I thought coffee was bad for you?”you took a sip of your coffee.
He shrugged his shoulders, “I drink coffee now and then, I’ll take it the same way you drink yours.”
Silently you reached in the cupboard and grabbed him a coffee cup. You pour the strong black coffee into a ceramic cup, and slowly mix in cream and brown sugar.
Handing the cup to Chan you knit your eyebrows together and questioned, “what is your gameplan Bang?”
Holding the cup close to his lips, “(YN) I don't have a game plan. I just want to spend time with you.”
You weren't sure why all the sudden he wanted to fix things. Grabbing your cup of coffee, you walked over to the kitchen table that sat under a large window. Sitting down you sighed and watched as Chan walked over and sat down across from you. Silently you drank your coffee and stared at each other. You felt like you had never heard silence quite as loud as it was between you and Chan. Sitting his coffee down on the table he stretched his arms back and rested him behind his head. Sitting your own cup of coffee down, you rested your head against your hand and massaged your temple. You didn’t even know what exactly you were supposed to talk about.
“You said quite a bit of stuff last night,” he said, finally breaking the screaming silence.
Your heart sped up and you tried to think back to all the things you said Chan the night before. “Chan why do you keep doing this?” You asked with your head still resting against your hand. “It’s been seven years please just let me be,” you sighed.
“Last night you said you still love me,” he leaned his head forward.
“I didn’t mean.”
“I don’t believe that,” he wasn’t going to let you off the hook that easily.
“Do you still love me?” You asked, lifting your head. “Wait, don't answer that actually,” you stood up.
“(YN),” he jumped up and grabbed your hand. You turned around and gave him an unamused look. “I want to fix what I messed up. I want to take you out on a date and show you things are different,” he held onto your hand and stared directly into your wide eyes.
“It’s not an easy fix,” you pulled your hand away from him.
“Please just give me a real chance,” he pleaded.
You stepped away from him and stared into his warm eyes that seemed genuine. You watched as he took his bottom lips between his teeth.
“If you do a single thing to hurt me again, I will never speak to you again. Next time it won’t be ice coffee,” you stepped towards him so there was less than a foot between you.
He gave you his signature Bang Chan smirk, “I will treat you like a saint.”
“This isn’t going to be like last time?” You couldn’t believe it but you were actually going to give the man who broke her heart a second chance. “Bang you better not break my heart again,” you pointed your finger against his chest.
“I won’t break your heart again Honey,” you wanted to tell him not to call you that, but you didn’t say anything.
“We need to meet up with my family for lunch,” you stepped away from him. You needed to walk away before you made the stupid mistake of kissing him in the middle of your kitchen.
“Okay let’s go,” he smiled.
You walked over and grabbed your coat that was hung up by the door and picked up your purse. You and Chan headed out of your apartment and went to his SUV that was parked outside. The drive over to the restaurant was pretty quick. As you arrived Chan walked over and laced his fingers with yours, and you couldn’t help but m raise your eyebrow and give him a knowing look.
You walked inside to find your parents and Jisoo sitting down at a table in the back. Jisoo shot you a smile and bit back a laugh at the sight of you and Chan holding her hands. Your mom and dad seemed extremely happy to see you arriving with Chan.
“Chan my boy I’m glad you came with (YN),” your father said with a huge smile on his face.
“I’m glad she let me tag along,” he dropped your hand and pulled out your chair.
You didn’t say anything, you just sat down and shot your sister a knowing look. Jisoo still looked like she was about to bust up laughing at any moment.
Everyone ordered and made small talk, and you didn’t say much. You just sat there smiling and nodding your head. You still couldn’t believe you had actually agreed to give Chan another chance. The way your lunch with her family was going you would swear you and Chan had never broken up, by the way your family was acting.
You were brought out of your thoughts when Chan’s strong hand rested on your thigh. You gChand over at him to find him intently listening to something your dad was saying, while he had a crooked smile on his face. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Back when you were together, he constantly had his hand on your thigh. Sometimes it was completely innocent and then there were other times his hand would creep up really high and would try to touch you inappropriately in public.
He could feel your eyes burning into him and he gave your thick thigh a squeeze. His hand didn’t move up to your forbidden area or anything, it just gently rested on your thigh.
As the food was delivered everyone ate and made small talk together.
Your mom cleared her throat and everyone looked up, “so we have something we need to talk about.” You and Jisoo had no clue what your parents could possibly want to talk about. “We think the cancer might be back,” your mother stated it ever so calmly. She acted like it wasn’t earth shattering news.
You prayed you didn’t hear her mother correctly as your ears felt like they started ringing. Your body went numb as your eyes started to prickle with tears. Your mouth went dry as you attempted to swallow. Tunnel vision kicked in and all you could see was your hands that were on the table in front of you.
Chan felt like his world got knocked on its side as he heard what your mother just calming told him and her two daughters her cancer might be back. Jisoo started to cry immediately and you terrified him. You looked numb and completely empty of any emotion.
You slowly stood up and didn’t even bother grabbing your purse or anything and just walking right out of the restaurant. Chan sat at the table frozen for a second not exactly sure what he should do. He wasn’t exactly sure how to process what your mother had just told him.
“I’m so sorry ma’am but I need to go after her,” he reached into his wallet and pulled out his credit card.
“Chan take care of my daughter,” your mother smiled.
“I’m gonna try to calm her down. The whole lunch is on me, keep this I’ll get it from you guys later,” he handed the shiny card to your father. He picked up your purse and took off running outside.
He didn’t see you anywhere outside so he jumped in his car and started driving down the street in the direction of your apartment. About a block away he found you walking down the street crying.
He rolled down the window and unlocked the door, “please get in the car.”
You wanted to argue but instead walked over and got into the car. You sniffled back tears as they continued to slide down your cheek. Without even thinking he reached over and laced his finger with his right hand while his left hand held the steering wheel. You held your eyes closed tightly attempting to stop the tears that kept falling. He lightly squeezed your hand letting her know he was there for you.
You pulled into the parking area of your apartment and Chan parked his car and looked over at you as you blankly stared at the dashboard. The tears continued to pour down your face. He wasn’t even exactly sure what to say to you.
“Honey I’m sorry,” he didn’t know what else to say to the girl whose world seemed to be clasping on itself.
You took a deep breath and looked over at Chan, “we had a cancer scare five years ago. I prayed every night that I wasn’t going to lose my mother then.”
His heart suddenly hurt at the thought that this was the third time you had gone through this. It also hurt for the fact that he had no clue that your mother had a cancer scare five years ago. During her first battle with cancer he had been there every step of the way holding your hand, and during the scare five years ago you wanted nothing to do with him. He didn’t even know if you had someone there supporting you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You shrugged your shoulders, “we had been broken up for two years and hadn’t talked in that many years. It’s not like I could exactly just call you up and say hey my mom might have cancer again.”
You unbuckled your seat belt and turned so you were fully facing him. He bit his bottom lip and had a sad look on his face. “Believe me I wish I could have brought myself to call you.”
“(YN) if I knew I would have dropped everything and came to you.” He wasn’t lying and deep down inside you knew if you would have called him, he would have been home in a heartbeat, but five years ago you weren't nearly ready to work things out between you.
“I know that.”
He reached over and gently took your face in his hand. You closed your eyes as the tears continued to slide down your cheek. His thumb gently slid across your wet cheek pushing away the tears that kept falling.
“I can’t lose my mother,” you whispered.
“You’re not going to, she's a strong woman.”
You nodded your head as it was resting against his strong hand. You bit your bottom lip wondering if you should ask him to come upstairs.
“Did you want to come upstairs?”
He nodded his head and smiled, “yeah I would love to come upstairs.”
You got out of Chan’s car and he walked over and laced his fingers with yours. You entered your apartment and the first thing you did was throw yourself on your couch. Chan walked over and sat down on the coffee table across from you. He reached over and pushed your hair away from your face. You had stopped crying but your cheeks were still slightly wet from all the tears.
“You know I think you’re so beautiful,” he smiled softly.
You smiled and closed your eyes for a moment before you opened them and were greeted to Chan’s warm eyes locked on hers, “you’ve gone soft Bang Chan.”
“Only for you Honey,” he winked.
You shook your head, “you seem so much different then you were at the end of our relationship.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not the same eighteen-year-old attempting to chase my dream. I might be an asshole to some people and come off as if I have an ego, but with you I don’t have to be that way.”
You slowly sat up on the couch and crossed your legs, “you better not be an asshole to me.”
“Why don't you go out on a date with me on Friday?” he asked, taking a shot in the dark. He knew you agreed to give him a chance but he wasn’t sure if that meant you would be willing to go on a date with him.
“I work Friday.”
“Until what time?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“I’m off at five.”
“I’ll pick you up at work,” he smirked.
“Alright Bang Chan you win. You can pick me up on Friday at five.”
He nodded his head smiling. He couldn’t believe he actually convinced you to go on a date with him. When he first walked back into your life and walked away with your coffee poured all over him he thought he didn’t stand a chance at getting back into your good graces, but somehow, he managed to convince you to go on a date with him.
“I’m going to have to get my credit card back from your parents at some point.”
You tilted your head to the side and looked at him with a confused look, “why do they have your credit card?”
“Well you rushed out and I couldn’t have them pay so I just handed your dad my credit card and said lunch was on me,” he smiled.
“You totally didn’t have to pay for everyone.”
“I showed up unannounced. It was only right that I paid.”
“Always the gentlemen Chan,” you smiled.
Standing behind the counter at your parent’s coffee shop you watched as your sister made a latte for a customer.
“Have you talked to mom at all today?” You asked.
You hadn’t really seen your mom or dad in the two days since they told you and her sister they thought your mom’s cancer was back, but you had talked to them since storming out of the restaurant.
“Yeah just a little, her and dad are going to a cancer specialist on Monday,” Jisoo sat the coffee on the counter and turned to your sister who had a worried look on her face.
“Jisoo what happens if it’s not just a scare this time?” You had to ask your sister the question you had been asking yourself over and over again since your mom told them the other day.
“(YN), I refuse to believe that it’s actually back this time,” Jisoo said strongly.
Jisoo had always been the strong one of the two sisters. She might have been the younger of the two siblings, but the way she looked after you, you would swear she was the older sister.
“Let’s change the subject,” Jisoo leaned against the counter and smiled. “What are you and Chan doing tonight?”
You shrugged your shoulders, “he hasn’t told me anything. He just told me he’s picking me up at five.”
“So, do you still like Chan?” Jisoo asked.
You shrugged your shoulders again and sighed, “honestly part of me still loves him.”
“Then hopefully he doesn’t hurt you. I don’t want to break his nose,” Jisoo smiled.
Before you could say anything Chan walked into the coffee shop doing his signature strut. He walked in the same exact way he did the day he walked back into your life. You once again shook your head at the cocky grin he had on his face.
“Oh look, it's your coffee shop stalker,” Jisoo said with a little laugh.
You let out a little laugh as Chan walked up to the counter. He smirked and gave you a wink, “look, it's my favorite pair of sisters.”
“What’s up Bang?” Jisoo laughed.
“I’m here to pick up my date,” he smiled.
“Did you want a coffee to go?” You asked as you stepped away from the counter. He nodded his head.
“What did you want?” You asked.
“Can I get a soy iced latte?” he asked, reaching into the wallet.
“Yeah I’ll make you an ice soy latte, also you don’t have to pay.”
He put his wallet back in his pocket and looked back over at Jisoo who was glaring at him. He knew very well Jisoo wasn’t someone he should mess with. He vividly remembers after you broke up with him Jisoo coming over to his house threatening to break his nose. He knew damn well she would do it. Back in high school the popular girl Mia called you fat and Jisoo smeared ice cream across her face and threatened to pull her extensions out. Jisoo wasn’t a violent person or anything like that, she was just extremely protective of her older sister.
“Bang don’t mess this up,” Jisoo leaned on the counter and rested her fist under her chin. “Don’t forget she poured coffee on you once before and she’ll do it again.”
He nodded his head knowing all too well he wasn’t going to be getting another chance after tonight if he messed up.
“Jisoo be nice,” you said standing in front of the espresso machine.
“I’m just letting Chan know that he better not mess things up,” your sister smiled, staring at Chan who was just smiling back at her.
“I plan on behaving,” Chan raised his hands, surrendering.
You walked over and sat Chan’s ice latte on the counter and walked over to the back counter and grabbed your own ice coffee. “Alright Jisoo I’m heading out,” you walked over and gave her sister a quick hug.
“Alright let me know if you need me,” Jisoo said, still staring at Chan.
You walked into the back and quickly took off her apron and grabbed your purse before walking out and grabbed Chan’s hand. He led you outside towards his car. He opened your door for you as he was trying to be a perfect gentleman tonight for you.
He quickly got in the driver's seat and started the car. He looked over at you and gave you a smile. He was still in shock that he had convinced you to go on a date with him.
“Where are we going Chan?” You asked, buckling your seatbelt.
“So, I was thinking the first place we went on our first real date,” he was pretty damn proud of himself that he remembered your first date from back when you were teenagers.
“And where did we go on our first date?” You asked, knowing exactly where you went. You weren't sure if Chan knew where your first date was all those years ago.
He started driving into town. “I’m hurt (YN), I could never forget that magical night at the Starlight Café,” he said, sounding wounded.
“Well you have impressed me Chan,” you smiled leaning against the window.
He drove the short way to the café that you spent many afternoons and evenings hanging out in when you were teenagers.
You arrived at the café and Chan jumped out of the car and walked over to grab your hand. He looked at you and gave you a big smile. He led you inside and the hostess took you straight to a table by the window.
You made small talk before ordering. Both of you didn’t have to look at the menu for long. The waiter came and took your order and left you alone.
“How long are you even staying here Chan? You’re going through all this to try making things right with me and you’re not even going to be here that long.” You were very whatever was happening between you and had an expiration date.
He licked his lips and looked down at the table, “I’m staying.”
She pushed her eyebrows together confused, “about your apartment in the city and 3racha?”
“I’m renting the apartment out and I’m still gonna work with boys from here,” he shrugged his shoulders casually like he didn’t just drop a big bombshell on you.
“You’re moving back?” Your eyes were wide. You weren't even exactly sure how you could wrap your mind around what he was telling you.
“Before I came home I bought a new building here for a new studio,” he smiled. “I already have people working on it to make the best studio possible. Changbin and Jisung are looking into moving back into the area.”
“Where are you going to live?” You knew he couldn’t keep living with his parents. You also couldn’t help but wonder who had known that he was moving home for good.
Before he could answer the waiter walked over and sat your food down in front of you and asked if you needed anything else. Chan let him know you were good, and you both awkwardly ate in silence for a moment.
“I bought a home in the neighborhood near your parents about a week ago. I can move into it in about two weeks.”
You were attempting to take in everything he was saying to you. When they started all this, you didn’t know what exactly you expected, but it sure as hell wasn’t for Chan to be restarting his life back home.
“(YN) I’m all in on us. This isn’t casual for me,” he sat his fork down and reached across the table and took your hand in his. “My life is back here now. I don’t have a need to go back to the city other than when I have to do some promotional stuff.”
“You bought a house?” You were still trying to take everything in.
He nodded his head and smiled.
“So, you're serious about being with me?”
He pushed his lips together and nodded his head, “I’m extremely serious about being with you.”
“Okay Chan,” you nodded, your head feeling overwhelmed. You weren’t even sure what you should say to him.
You finished eating dinner and Chan paid the check and you walked out of the café with Chan’s arm on your shoulder holding you closely next to him. As you got to his car, you leaned against the black SUV looking over at Chan with a smirk on her face. Your date so far has left you smitten with a feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
“What’s next Chan?” she asked as he placed his arm next to your head as he leaned in towards you.
“I was thinking we could go for a drive and look at the stars,” he smirked. He had tried his hardest to plan the most romantic date possible for you. He had thrown maximum effort in for this.
He wanted to lean in and kiss you badly, but he wanted to wait. You smiled as you moved off the car and walked past him towards the passenger side door. He took that as his cue walked over to the driver’s side and got into his car.
Chan drove you towards the edge of town where there was a small mountain that gave a great view of the city below and all the stars. He parked the car and looked over at you smiling.
“Bang Chan, you didn’t take me to makeout point, did you?” You rolled your eyes as he turned off the car.
He shook his head, “I didn’t take you to makeout point to hook up,” he unbuckled his seat belt. “I brought you here so we could look at the stars. We used to do this all the time when we were teens,” he smiled.
“We also use to have sex in the back of your car up here,” you laughed thinking back to all the times you use to come up here.
You always drive up here when you need to get away from everything. It was normally when Chan had a rough day training, or when you had a rough day at the hospital with your mom. You would sit there and stare at the stars and then would end up hooking up from there.
“I didn’t come up here for car sex. I drove up here so we can look up at the stars like we used to,” he smiled.
You got out of the car and walked to the front of the car and jumped up so you were sitting on the hood. You looked over and watched as Chan sat down on the hood next to you.
“Looking at all the lights always made me feel so small,” you looked at all the lights below.
“Is that a good thing?” he asked as he put his arm over your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.
You nodded your head, “I think so, it kind of reminds you that the world is so much bigger than it feels sometimes.”
He leaned over and lightly pressed his lips to the top of your hair. Things between you at the moment didn’t feel like you had been a part for seven years. It was almost as if you didn’t miss a day apart. Right then he realized he missed his life with you. You made him feel normal and missed that feeling. His ego had taken control of him since you had broken up. He moved to the city and made it big in the music industry like he always dreamed of. He fawned over for so long that led him to believe he was all the things they told him he was.
“It almost humbles you looking at all the tiny lights,” he stared out at all the lights.
“The talented singer and producer Bang Chan is humbled?” You smirked.
He nodded his head, “I’m trying to change.”
Chan seemed to be a very different person then the boy who broke your heart all those years ago. He seemed more like the teenager who held your hand while her mom fought cancer. He seemed like someone who really wanted to be a good person.
You sat on the top of the hill for probably an hour just staring at all the lights. You talked about the old times. All the good times you had as teenagers when you were young and in love. You wished that you could go back in time and change how things had worked out. Hell, Chan wished more than anything he could tell his younger self to keep his dick to himself and keep his ego in check. He couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t cheat on you if you would have eventually moved to the city with him. He wondered what your life would have held for you over the last seven years.
“Forgot how cold it gets up here,” you said as the breeze blew. You cuddled against him as a shiver went down your spine.
“Let's get you home, Honey,” he pressed his lips to the top of her head and pulled away smiling.
He pulled up to the front of your apartment complex. He looked over at you and gave you his signature smirk he always used to give you. You shook your head and unbuckled the seat belt, biting your lip and raising your eyebrow.
“Bang Chan, what did you want?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Nothing Honey.”
That was a lie Chan had million thoughts going through his mind. One of the major thoughts that seemed to be screaming in his mind was that he was dying to kiss you. Another one was he thought about all the times you had sex in his car back when you were teenagers.
“Tonight was really nice,” you smiled.
“I’m glad you had a goodnight,” he unbuckled his seatbelt. “So, do I get a goodnight kiss after a great first date,” he took his bottom lip between his teeth. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comment. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him at that moment, but you weren't sure you were ready to admit that out loud. You leaned over and rested your hand on his cheek and stared into his warm eyes. You stared at each other for a long moment.
“I want to kiss you so badly,” he whispered.
“Please don’t break my heart Bang Chan,” you leaned forward and rested your nose against his. Your lips were a mere millimeter a part. You could smell his peppermint chapstick he had put on moments earlier. You held your eyes closed tightly taking deep breaths, you wanted to connect your lips to his but there was almost like an invisible wall stopping you.
“(YN) I won’t break your heart ever again,” he lightly ghosted against your lips for a second.
You didn’t say anything else, you crashed your lips against his. Your lips danced as you leaned across the center console. His fingers tangled into your hair holding you close to him. His tongue slid along your bottom lips asking for permission.
You pulled away from him and stared at him for a long silent moment. Silently you crawled over the center console and crawled into the back seat of his SUV that luckily had dark tinted windows. Chan stared at you for a moment before he followed behind you. He sat down and you wasted no time connecting your lips to his again. His fingers once again tangled in your hair as he pulled you close to him. One of his hands moved down to your round hips and he pulled you towards him so you were straddling his hips. His lips moved from yours down your jaw and worked their way down your neck. You couldn’t help but grind your hips against him. You could feel him growing hard as you grind against his jean covered erection.
You couldn’t help but moan as his lips moved back up the column of your neck. After all these years it was clear he still knew all the places that drove you crazy.
“You’re stunning,” his lips ghosted your skin.
“Please tell me you have a condom,” you moaned. You knew you needed to stop you couldn’t have sex with him in the back of his car, but you felt like you couldn’t stop.
He nodded as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out a foil packet. You crawled off him quickly and reached down and pulled off your undies quickly. Silently he watched and reached down and pulled his shirt off revealing golden skin.
Without thinking you reach out dragging your fingers crossed the tight muscles that lined his stomach. Your gentle touch sent a shiver down his spine. Looking down at his waist you pulled your fingers away from his golden skin. You reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. He pushed his jeans down his thighs enough to free himself. His erection sprung free and your eyes locked on it and you couldn’t help but lick your lips.
He picked up the foil packet from off the seat and tore it open with his teeth. He pumped himself once before sliding the rubber down his length.
Silently you crawled over and straddled his thighs. Resting your hands on his bare chest right where his heart was. You rested your forehead against his as you extremely slowly sank down onto his length. You moved your hips slowly moving against him.
The push and pull of his length was absolutely intoxicating to you. Lost in a haze of lust you couldn’t get enough of him. Biting your bottom lip, your head rolled back as you moaned. His hands gripped your hips as he helped you keep the pace.
The car was filled with the echoing sounds of skin and skin, heavy breathing a mixture of your soft whimpers.
Your eyes opened wide as you looked down at Chan whose dark eyes were blown with lust and filled hunger. He moaned your name loudly, something snapped suddenly in you. You completely still with Chan still inside you. Chan could tell something was wrong.
You scrambled off of him, “I can’t do this.”
“What can’t you do?” he asked confused on why you just crawled off of him in the middle of sex leaving him hard and confused.
“We can’t do this,” you didn’t even bother looking for your underwear. You grabbed your purse from the front seat, and you quickly crawled out of the car.
He was still basically naked with his dick out staring out the window completely confused on why you ran off on him in the middle of sex. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.
“What the fuck just happened?” he said to himself as he ran his fingers through his curls. He lifted his hips up and pulled up his jeans. He wasn’t even sure what just happened or what exactly he should do. He wanted to go upstairs and talk to you but he wasn’t even sure if you would answer the door.
We need to talk.
Moments later he received a response.
I can’t do this.
You sat on the floor in your living room trying to figure out what the hell was going on in your life. It had been three days since your “date” with Chan and you hadn’t even left your apartment. You told your mom and Jisoo you were sick so you couldn’t go to work.
You weren't even sure how to explain what had happened in the back of his car. One minute you accepted he had really changed and wanted to be with you and then moments later you suddenly panic and jumped off of him in the middle of sex.
You were so afraid of him breaking your heart again you didn’t know if you could truly give him an honest chance. You had built up so many walls around your heart, they were even stronger ones than you had thought were built.
He had texted you a couple times since the “date”. All of them were him saying you needed to talk and that he was worried about you. You ignored all of them because you didn’t even know if you could ever face him again. You were so embarrassed by what had happened, and by how badly you freaked out.
He was going insane. It had been three days since you left him high and dry. He wasn’t even sure what he should do. He had texted you a few times but it was clear you were ghosting him. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Walking inside the coffee shop your family owned, he prayed he would see Jisoo working. He let out a heavy sigh of relief when he saw Jisoo standing behind the counter.
She looked extremely confused on why Chan was walking into the coffee shop.
“Bang what do you want?” she asked, leaning against the counter.
“Have you talked to your sister?” he asked, wondering what she knew about the whole situation that had happened between you and him.
She shook her head, “not ever since your date she’s been sick and hasn’t come into work.” Her eyes narrowed on his, “Bang what did you do?”
“I don’t know,” he just about shouted.
“Oh, so you are the reason she’s sick,” she questioned.
“I didn’t do anything Jisoo. We were having the perfect date and I was dropping her off and I told her how much she meant to me, and that I saw a future with her…” he hesitated not sure if he should mention the fact that you were in the middle of having sex when her older sister freaked out and ran away. “We were in the middle of having sex when she jumped off me and just started panicking.” He was never a person that ever felt awkward about talking about sex, but for some reason this wasn’t just him talking about having causal sex.
“Did you say something?” she was attempting to figure out why you freaked out.
He shook his head as the images of the night in the back of his car played in his mind. You had gone from having the perfect night to suddenly you freaked out. Sex with you had always been different. You weren't someone who would just go sleeping around with anyone. Long before you and Chan had ever even kissed the very first time, you had always told him that when you finally had sex if had to be with someone special. You saw sex as something extremely intimate and was something you wanted to share with only someone you was in love with. Chan had always respected your views and he waited until you were ready. Even when you were teens who would sneak away any chance you could get to sleep together he never pressured you to do anything. He always made sure the ball was in your court when it came to making decisions. Sure, you experimented and tried new things together, but if you didn’t like it Chan would stop immediately. That night in the back of his car he assumed you were going to have sex because you trusted him again and had feelings for him. He never expected you to crawl off of him in the middle of sex and rush off.
“I don’t know what to do Jisoo. You know damn well I’m desperate if I’m coming to you for help. I’m well aware you still hate me for hurting your sister, but if we’re being honest here, I don’t think anyone hates me more for breaking her heart than me.”
She pushed her eyes brows together taking in what he had just said to her. “Are you going to break her heart again?” she asked, wondering if she should talk to her sister and tell her to give Chan another chance.
He shook his head, “I’m not young and dumb anymore. I’m fully committed to making this work with her. I literally have bought a house here and a place to build my own studio.”
She couldn’t help but smile, “damn Bang you have gone soft.”
He shook his head if anyone other than you and Jisoo told him he was going soft he would go full asshole mode on them proving he hadn’t gone soft, but when it came to you, he couldn’t lie he had gone a little soft.
“Only for your sister,” he sighed.
“I’ll talk to her, I’m off here in fifteen minutes when Jamie comes in,” she stared right into his warm eyes. “I swear to God Bang Chan if you hurt her again. I’ll break you fucking nose and I won’t even think twice about it,” she pointed her finger into his sweater covered chest. Her eyes were glaring at him letting him know that she wasn’t lying to him.
“Jisoo you have my word I won’t break her heart again,” he held his hands up in a serenading fashion.
“Alright I’ll straight to see her after work.”
Jisoo didn’t even bother knocking; she used her key and opened the door to her sister’s apartment. She walked inside and didn’t see you anywhere. She heard the tv on down the small hallway, she walked down the hallway and found you sitting on her bed still in your pajamas. You were sitting up in bed with a cup of coffee resting on her pajamas covered thigh while she was watching Stranger Things on Netflix. Your messy hair was pulled half up half down with a messy bun. There wasn’t a stitch of makeup on your face and you looked a mess. The image of you sitting on the bed in front of her reminded her of how she found you when you were dealing with the final break up between you and Chan. All you were missing were the puffy eyes from the constant crying and the box of tissues that were always right next to you.
“Is there a reason I have barely heard from you since your date?” Jisoo walked over and sat down on the bed next to you.
She shrugged your shoulders before taking a drink of you coffee, “I don’t know.”
Jisoo shook her head. She wasn’t in the mood to play this game with you. Jisoo rolled her eyes, “well I’m assuming it has something to do with the fact in the middle of having sex with Chan you jumped off him and started freaking out.”
You winced at your sister’s words. What happened in the back of Chan’s car was haunting you. You had had this amazing date and everything was going perfectly. Chan had told you how he was all in with you and bought a house back home. The sudden realization that he was serious with you terrified you to no end. You knew he said he had changed, but you couldn’t forget how badly he had broken your heart already. You didn’t think you could go through that kind of heart break again.
You were silent.
“What happened? Why did you freak out?” Jisoo asked, needing to know.
You shrugged, “he’s going to break my heart again.”
“Honey he’s not going to,” Jisoo couldn’t believe she was actually trying to convince you to give Chan Bang another chance.
You shook your head, “he’ll cheat on me again. He might think he wants me, but we both know damn well I’m not his type. He always cheats on me with those super skinny pretty girls.”
Jisoo wanted to once again punch Chan in the face for making her sister feel self-conscious about herself.
“Honey, that guy is in love with you and believes he’s going to keep it in his pants this time.”
You shook your head as your eyes brimmed with tears, “how am I supposed to trust him again?”
Jisoo wished she could give her a list of reasons, but she couldn’t. Chan had proven himself in the past to be untrustworthy, but the man who came back to win you back was a very different person.
“Honey, he's really different now. Don’t get me wrong, he can still be an asshole, but I have never seen a man try so hard to prove to someone that they have changed.”
“Do you think I should give us another shot?” You asked before taking a final sip of your coffee.
She nodded her head, “you should go get dressed and drive over to the Bang’s house and tell him you’re sorry for freaking out and that you love him.”
“I’m not going to tell him I still love him,” you sat her coffee cup down on your nightstand and slowly stood up.
“Because I’m not sure what exactly I feel for him,” you sighed as you walked over towards your closet.
“You still love him,” Jisoo jumped off the bed with a huge smile on her face.
“Just get dressed and go talk to him.”
You didn’t bother even responding; you grabbed a pair of leggings and found a sweater to pull on. Without even bothering to put makeup on you pulled your hair back into a half up half down style this time, but actually had it brushed this time.
Jisoo led herself out of the apartment and you walked downstairs towards your car. She leaned against her car, staring at you. Jisoo, who wasn’t going to leave until you got in the car and drove to the Bang’s house.
“Text me when you and Chan finally work this out,” Jisoo reached over and opened the driver side door for you to finally get in the car.
You sighed and got into the car, “fine.”
You drove for about ten minutes when you pulled onto the street the Bang’s lived in. You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. You parked in front of the house and pulled out your phone.
Please come outside.
It only took him about thirty seconds before he responded.
Alright I’m heading outside.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and by the time you were out of the car Chan was stepping outside. He wore a pair of jeans that fit him well and a grey sweater that hung to his fit body. He walked straight out to you car and met you in front of the car.
“Jisoo told me I needed to come talk to you,” you sighed as you leaned against the hood of your car.
He pushed his eyebrows together and tried to figure out what he wanted to say to you. He had thought of a million things he wanted to say to you over the last few days, but now that you were standing in front of him, he was at a loss for words.
“Chan, I don’t even know what to say right now,” you looked down at the street wondering if coming to see him was a mistake.
“What happened that night?” he needed to know what he did to make you leave him.
“I’m scared of you hurting me,” you whispered.
His eyes grew wide at the realization you were most likely never going to fully trust him.
“Honestly, is there even a point in me trying?”
“I don’t know.”
He was suddenly annoyed that you weren't willing to give him a chance to truly prove that he had changed. Your date had been perfect and you let yourself over think it all.
“I’m trying hard to prove to you that I’m different,” his voice raised slightly. You had pushed him past his breaking point. “I want to make things right with you. Hell, I even bought a place to build a goddamn studio here so we could make this work.” His blood pressure was going to go through the roof. He stared at you trying to figure out what was going on in your head.
“Why do you want to be with me so badly?” You asked, fighting back tears.
“Because I fucking love you. I haven’t stopped and I don’t honestly think I’m capable of loving anyone else.” He ran his fingers through his curls.
You shook your head processing what he had just said, “if you loved me why did you cheat on me?”
“Because I was a teenage asshole who only thought with his dick and didn’t know what he had right in front of him,” he let out a heavy sigh and started pacing back and forth in front of you. “That other night in the back of my car has fucked with my head more than anything. I thought we were finally making true progress to starting this again, and then you just left me hanging,” he sighed.
“I got scared when you broke my heart. It hurt so much, I didn’t think that I would ever get over it again. I can’t even explain what exactly happened.”
He stopped pacing and stood right in front of you, he reached his hand out and rested his hand on your cheek gently tilting it up so you were looking into his warm eyes, “give me a real chance here.”
You bit your bottom lip as your eyes were locked on his chocolate ones, “what happens if I do?”
The corner of his mouth slightly turned up, “it means I fight like hell to keep you happy and to make sure you never doubt how much I love you.”
Another tear slid down your cheek as you smiled at what he had just said to you. You knew he needed to let go of the past, the boy who broke your heart ten years ago wasn’t the same man standing in front of you practically begging you for another chance. You knew you needed to give into what your heart was saying and just let him try to fully prove himself to you.
“You’ve gone soft Chan Bang,” you whispered.
“Only for you Honey,” he smiled with a soft laugh.
“So, what happens now?” she asked with his hand still resting on your cheek.
“I would like to get back together,” he moved his face slightly closer to yours.
Your eyebrow raised a little, “so like you’re my boyfriend again?”
He nodded his head as he had his signature crooked grin on his face, “I would like to be your boyfriend.”
“Don’t break my heart again Bang Chan,” you whispered before leaning forward and connecting your lips to his. Your lips gently moved together as Chan held your round face in his strong hands. Your hands reached forward and gripped his sweater pulling him closer to you.
He pulled his lips away from yours and rested his forehead against yours and he couldn’t help but smile, “are you going to run away from me again?”
“I won’t ever do that again,” you smiled.
A year and a half later
Looking through your dresser you started pulling random pieces of clothing out attempting to find your black tights. On the hardwood floor surrounding you there was a mix of your underwear and a few bras. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention. She turned back to find Chan leaning against the doorframe smirking. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and sweater that hugged his toned torso perfectly.
“Is there a reason all your panties are on the floor?” he walked over and leaned down to pick up a black lace thong. He twirled it around his finger and raised his eyebrows, “don’t get me wrong I’m a fan of seeing these on the floor, but I would much rather have been the one to take them off you.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you reached over and snatched your panties back from him.
“Have you seen my black tights?” You asked wondering if you tore her dresser apart for no reason.
“No, I haven’t, but why are you looking for tights? I think you look hot in that dress without them,” he rested his hand on your hip as he stood behind you. He brushed your hair to the side and pressed his lips to the side of your neck for a wet kiss.
“Chan,” you moaned. You needed to stop him you didn’t have time to have sex. You were already running late to Jisoo’s birthday dinner.
“We can make this quick,” he whispered with his lips ghosting your skin sending a shiver down your spine.
“No, we don’t have time,” you pulled away and turned back to face him.
“You’re a tease,” he smiled.
You shook her head and leaned down to start picking your underwear up. Sitting on the bed he watched as you bent over, and over again picking up your underwear. She could feel Chan’s dark eyes locked on your curvy body as you continued to bend over. Looking over your shoulder you found him biting his bottom lip as he stared at you.
“Are you going to behave?” You cocked your eyebrow wondering if your boyfriend would be able to keep his hands to himself.
He shrugged his shoulders, “we both know I can’t make that promise.”
You decided to not wear tights and just wear a knee length flowy dress instead. You walked over to your side of the closet and picked out a pair of black flats and walked back over to Chan who was sitting on the edge of their bed watching you.
“Chan, are you ready to go?” You asked, standing in front of him. He reached up and grabbed your hand.
“Yeah since we’re not having a quickie, I guess we are,” his words caused you to roll your eyes and shake your head.
“Let’s go Bang,” you tugged on his hand so he stood up.
You walked out of your shared house and headed for Chan’s suv that was parked in the driveway. The drive to your parent’s house was little less than five minutes since the house Chan bought was in the same neighborhood as your parents.
Chan jumped out of the car and walked over quickly to the passenger side where you were slowly getting out of the car. He opened your door and helped you out of the car. As your feet were both on the concrete, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your. You pulled away from him and smiled, “Chan you can’t keep your lips to yourself.”
He shrugged his shoulders as his fingers were still laced with hers, “you just look so kissable all the time.”
You walked inside and held Chan’s hand as you led him off to the kitchen where your parents were. Your parents were smiling and laughing about something. You loved when your mom seemed carefree as she laughed. Your mother was once again cancer free for a month. Her hair had started to grow back into a cute pixie cut.
“Honey and Chan are here,” her dad yelled as he greeted them.
“Hey mom and dad,” you said, letting go of Chan’s hand so they could both hug your parents.
Jisoo walked into the kitchen and quickly hugged you.
“Happy birthday Jisoo,” you said smiling.
“Hey Bang,” Jisoo walked over and gave Chan a hug.
“Happy birthday kid,” He smiled.
“I’m only a year younger than you. I wouldn’t say I’m a kid,” she smiled.
Chan walked off with your father so they could get a beer and watch tv together while you stayed in the kitchen with your mom and Jisoo.
“So Honey, how is life with Chan?” Your mom asked as soon as the men were out of ear shot.
You smiled at her mom, “well he’s a great boyfriend.”
“That’s so boring,” Jisoo whined.
“I moved in with him, how is that boring?” You walked over to the counter and grabbed a glass and poured yourself a glass of wine.
Your mom took a big drink of wine and smiled, “so does that mean you’re getting married soon?”
You rolled her eyes, “we’re in no rush to get married.”
“What about getting married?” Chan asked, walking into the kitchen smiling.
You leaned against the counter and rolled your eyes. Chan would walk in the second you even mentioned getting married. “Nothing,” you said, trying to change the subject.
“Chan, are you going to pop the question anytime soon?” Jisoo blurted out not even caring that you were two seconds away from killing her.
“Do you know how much convincing I had to do to even get her to move in with me?” It had taken a solid month of him asking you constantly for you to move in with him. You had only been living together for two months and you weren't sure if she was ready to get married. Chan on the other hand thought about marrying you constantly but wasn’t sure about when he should bring it up.
“She’s suborned as hell like her father so it probably took a lot of convincing,” your mom jokes.
“Mom you’re not helping,” you said before taking another sip of your wine.
“Mom has always been team Chan,” Jisoo added, causing Chan to smile.
“I like to think Honey is also team Chan,” he said, raising his eyebrows as he walked over and stood next to you.
Your eyes narrowed onto his, “it depends on the day if I’m on Team Chan.”
Both your mom and Jisoo let out a little laugh. Bang Chan had truly met his match when he met you and he knew you were the perfect woman for him.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” you sit your glass of wine down on the counter and walk away from the group.
Walking into the bathroom you reached to close the door but someone was holding on to it. You turned to see Chan holding onto the door with a cocky smirk on his face. You let go of the door and stepped further into the bathroom. You just shook your head as he stalked towards you walking you toward the bathroom counter. You butt hit the counter and he reached for her round hips and lifted you up and sat you on the counter. Pushing your legs apart gently he moved so he stood between your legs biting his bottom lip.
You knew exactly what he was planned on doing and you was trying to figure out if they could actually get away with having sex in the bathroom.
“They’ll hear us,” you whispered as his hand moved up and down your bare thigh.
He shrugged his shoulders as his hand traveled higher up.
“We can’t have sex in here,” you sighed as his fingers grazed across the edge of your panties.He was still completely silent as his fingers played with the edge of your undies.
“Chan I’m not having sex with you in the bathroom at my parents’ house,” you was sure if you were telling him you couldn’t do it or if you were trying to remind yourself.
“What if we just have a little bit of fun?” He looked up at you with those big puppy dog eyes.
You shook your head as your breathing hitched as his finger grazed your sensitive nub, “we can’t.”
“Okay Honey,” he pulled his fingers away and gave you a smile. “Let’s just say you owe me later.”
Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, you questioned how you actually put up with the man that was standing between your legs.
“Sure, I owe you,” your voice was still shaky with how much he had managed to work you up by barely even touching you.
“I have a question for you,” he was still standing between your legs as you sat on the bathroom counter.
You reached up and rested your hand gently on his cheek, “what do you want to know?”
“Do you see yourself ever marrying me?” Your heart raced as you stared at him.
You swallowed slowly, “do you see yourself marrying me?”
“Don’t change the subject Honey,” he reached up and removed your hand from his cheek and laced his fingers with yours.
Slowly you nodded your head, “I do Chan.”
“Well that’s good because I want to marry the hell out of you (YN),” he smiled.
Your eyes went wide, “are you proposing to me?”
“Not yet, just know it’s gonna happen. I won’t let you slip through my fingers again,” he leaned forward and connected his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to you. His strong hands moved and gripped your hips. A soft moan passed your lips and he pulled away from you smiling.
“We need to get back in there for dinner.”
He stepped away from you and helped you off the counter.
“I need to pee so you need to get out,” you smiled.
“Alright I’ll see you in the kitchen.
Dinner at her parent’s house went well, you ate dinner and all sat in the living room talking and telling stories. They later gave Jisoo her gifts, and had a birthday cake. Around ten at night you and Chan finally headed back to your house.
Walking out the bathroom and into yours and Chan’s bedroom, you were patting your face dry. You turned around and found Chan kneeling down on one knee.
Your eyes went wide as you stared at him.
“Chan what’s going on?” You stopped in front of him as your heart raced.
“(YN), I know I’m an asshole who has screwed up way too many times, but I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
You were silent for a long moment as you just stared at him. You were trying to process what was happening.
“Honey?” he asked, growing concerned by your silence, he was wondering if maybe he had misread your conversation earlier.
“Yeah I’ll marry,” you said and lunged at him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his. You started peppering his face with kisses and he couldn’t help the huge smile that was on his face.
“How long have you had that ring?” You asked, pulling your lips away from his. He shrugged his shoulders, almost embarrassed to admit how long he had actually had the ring. “You can’t just shrug your shoulders and expect that to be the answer.”
He smiled and said, “since the first week when you moved in with me.”
You didn’t say anything, you just leaned forward and pressed your lips to his again. Your kiss was filled with hunger wanting more. As your lips moved together, you reached for the bottom of Chan’s sweater. He pulled his lips away from yours and let you remove his sweater. You stared at him with your pupils’ lust blown as you placed your lips on his collar and placed wet kisses across his warm skin. He moaned softly at the feeling of your lips against his skin. You pulled away from him and reached down and pulled off your dress. The second your dress was off he leaned forward and connected his lips back to yours for another passionate kiss. As his lips moved against yours, he reached behind you and unclasped your bra, and pushed it down your shoulders.
Pulling away from him you stared at him for a long moment as your chest rose and fell with each breath you took. You weren't sure how you got to this point in your life, but you loved him more than you ever had.
“I love you so much,” you said softly.
“I love you too Honey.”
You stood up and hooked your fingers into your underwear and slid them down your thick thighs. You stood in front of him completely bare. He took this as his cue and stood up quickly, and removed his shoes, pants, and boxers.
You crawled back onto your bed and sat back on your elbows staring at Chan waiting for him to join you. He reached into his nightstand and quickly grabbed a condom. He tore the foil packet open with his teeth and gave himself a few pumps before sliding the rubber on.
Crawling onto the bed he laid next to you and connected his lips to yours as his fingers dipped into your core to give you some foreplay for a moment. You seemed to be already wound tight and was panting and moaning as his fingers worked on you.
“Chan, I need you,” you moaned.
He pulled his fingers away from you and moved so he was hovering over you with his weight on his strong arms. He lined himself up and slowly slid into you. Your hands went right to his tone back. You clawed at his back wanting him to be as close as possible in that moment. He leaned forwards and connected his lips to yours for a sloppy kiss, his hips rolled into yours at a deliciously slow pace.
Pulling your lips away from him you moaned his name like a sweet siren song.
It did take too long before he pushed you over the edge, as you rode out your high he thrust a few more times before he hit his own high. He laid on the bed next to you watching as you laid there in pure bliss with a smile on your face. He always thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen, and he was still in shock that you had just actually agreed to marry him.
“So, the future Mrs. Bang, when should we get married?” he asked as he reached over and laced his fingers with yours.
“Are you trying to rush me into marrying you?” you asked with a soft laugh.
“I’ll marry you right now if you would let me,” he brought the top of your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on your soft skin.
“Maybe a spring wedding.”
“You pick the date and I’ll be there,” he said smiling.
“I love you Chan Bang,” you leaned over and pressed your lips to his bare shoulder.
Around 1.6k words. Written for the anon who suggested some kinks inspired by the Red Lights mv <3
Tied. You’re literally tied up. It started as a trial of some sort, you being a brat. You just wanted to see his reaction because for all the years you’ve been together, you’ve always been a good girl for him. You never once disobeyed him and he would always let you know how he loves that about you. But one day, you saw how your alpha got really worked up after he spent a day with a rather bratty Hyunjin. Hyunjin is a really good friend, you always depend on him to make sure your beloved Chan does not overwork himself during their hunts together but Hyunjin...he can sometimes be an excruciatingly annoying brat. But the man’s pretty, with his luscious long hair and pouty lips, even Chan gets awfully frustrated when he ends up letting Hyunjin do what he wants in the pack hunt because that brat can be so convincing. One day, Hyunjin was being brattier than usual and he even called Chan an omega, making Chan pounce on him in his wolf form, hurting the younger who hurt his ego.
“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin mewled, almost sobbing because he never saw his hyung like that. Chan immediately turned into his human form, commanding Changbin to take care of Hyunjin as he goes back to his one and only love, you. That night, he was so quiet, so scarily quiet that you were scared to even ask him what happened. Not that you could anyway, because as soon as he arrived home, he pushed you against the nearest window, tore your clothes apart and stuffed your panties in your mouth while he ate you out like a starved man. “My calming juice,” was the only thing he said as he licked your - unsurprisingly - wet cunt, your tits squished against the window, free for his pack mates who were training at the backyard of the building to watch. He ended up fucking you on the kitchen table, making you cum at least four times, telling you how he’s so pissed at Hyunjin for being such a brat. Sure, you couldn’t walk the next day and his subordinates who came to send food and groceries to your house couldn’t even look you in the eyes but it was worth it. It was the best sex you ever had with Chan and it makes you want to test a theory. Does Bang Chan love brats?
That is why you are now tied with the bandages Chan conveniently has stashed in his side of the night stand. And that is also why you are now crying, begging for him to let you cum after being denied the luxury for three times now. All because you decided to test the theory and be a brat. You didn’t want to give him kisses, didn’t answer him when he asked you a question, rolled your eyes when he told you to wear a sweater when you go out and all hell broke loose when you put your foot on his crotch when he was in a meeting with his pack mates. He dismissed your earlier brattiness because he thought you might be having premenstrual mood swings but rubbing your foot on his cock was the last straw. He was gonna punish you. For the first time.
“My poor little dumb mutt, wanna cum?” Chan asks, tone mocking but you nod your head so fast, feeling like you’re about to lose it if you don’t cum right now - he’s been edging you for hours. “Aww too bad, get off my cock,” he tells you, his hand landing on your ass, spanking you. You stopped bouncing, trying to regulate your breathing but the man is impatient. “I said... get. Off. My. Fucking. Cock,” he says, tugging on the bandage he used to tie your hands on your back together, teasingly thrusting into your cunt with every word he stressed on, not planning on helping you to do what he demands you to. There’s only one main rule tonight: no cumming until he gives you permission. You’re a crying mess but you love it, you love how he’s testing your limits and true to his words, you are his pretty little dumb mutt who listens to everything he says. That’s why you’re shakily lifting your hips to get off his fat cock. “Nothing but an obedient dumb mutt,” Chan chuckles as he watches your ruined cunt. He’s gonna have so much fun with you.
Chan makes you lay on your back, now underneath his big muscular body, your tied hands on top of your head. “Not much of a brat now, are you, slut?” he says, slapping your tits, making you jolt in sensitivity. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you say to him, eyes watery and chin messy with your own spit. “Shut up. You wanted to be a brat, so I’m treating you like one,” Chan scoffs, licking his palm and landing a firm slap on your ruined cunt. “Ah! Da-daddy!” you whine, squirming but he doesn’t stop as he lands another smack on your pussy, now making sure his ring lands on your clit. All you can do is moan as tears fall. “Shhh, Daddy needs to teach you a lesson,” he coos mockingly, like he wants to console you but you can see that he is enjoying this, his eyes are literally sparkling with happiness.
You are about to beg him again when he suddenly pushes in two fingers into your wet cunt. “This slutty pussy is still so tight even after I’ve fucked it? Such a whore,” Chan chuckles, not even paying attention to you as his eyes are trained on your pussy. “But a brat can take many fingers, hmm? If you could take my cock, you can take three fingers,” he says, not so much of a question but more like a statement, making you squirm. “Daddy please,” you beg, not even knowing what you’re begging for.
“Shhh. Daddy will only listen to you when you learn to be a good girl,” and another finger is pushed into your tight cunt. “Fucking messy slut. You’re drenched. Bet you wanna cum so bad,” he says, now finger fucking you hard and fast. Chan groans at how your pussy is clenching around his fingers, the coldness of his ring must be adding to the pleasure. “Tell me when you’re gonna cum,” he instructs, one hand coming up to choke you.
He knows how much you love his fingers. They are thick and veiny, so every time he pushes his fingers in and out of your cunt, you just moan, trying to sound as sexy as you can in hopes that he would forgive you and let you cum. But Chan is enjoying this, maybe more than you think he is. The desperate moans, the begging, the 360 change from being a brat to being an obedient slut just turns him on. He can’t wait to fuck you with his cock again and give you his knot.
“Chan, please, I need - I need to - to cum, I need, ah!”
You are so close to cumming but Chan takes his fingers out and spits on your pussy. “What the fuck did you call me?” he asks and holy fuck, why did he sound so fucking good? “I asked you a question, whore. Don’t look at me like a stupid puppy- oh you are, aren’t you? A stupid little mutt,” he chuckles, almost sounding like a villain.
“Put your tongue out then. Like a little mutt.Mmm just like that”. You have your tongue out, saliva dripping and Chan looks at you like he’s lost his mind. “Bark for me,” he commands and you do as he says, barking a quiet ‘woof woof’.
One second you’re barking again and the next, you’re on all fours, with Chan’s fat cock pounding into your overly sensitive cunt. You nipples graze onto the satin sheets every time he pushes into you and all you can do is moan his name, chanting endless ‘Daddy Daddy Daddy’ and ‘please please please’ while the man thrusts into you harder, rougher and most importantly, he’s fucking you with his wolf strength without him realising it.
“Gonna knot you,” is all he says besides the constant groaning sounds he emits while he’s fucking you good. Your pussy is throbbing around him and his veiny cock just stretches you so wide, all you can do is take what he’s giving you. “Alpha, please,” you beg again, mind foggy as all you can feel is his cock and his emerging knot. And all you wanna do is cum. Cum. Cum. That’s the only thing in your head. You want to cum and you want Chan to knot you.
“Say it again, fuck,” Chan demands, hips stuttering as he feels his knot coming, you’re clenching around his cock so tight. “Alpha, I’m beg-begging you. Need to cu-cum. Need your kno-knot ple-please alpha I- AH!”.
And with that, you suddenly burst, his knot enlarging inside you, making you cum unexpectedly but the most pleasurable you’ve ever felt in your whole life. “Alpha alpha cum i’m sorry i cum cum,” you whine, crying but Chan shushes you, softly kissing you while his thrusts become gentle, his knot not allowing him to move, locking him in place. “There you go, it’s okay baby, you did so well for me,” is the last thing you hear before you pass out with Chan’s cock still inside you. A few seconds later, with your cunt clenching so tightly around him, Chan finally cums, loads of sticky white substance filling you up, warm and wonderful inside your pulsing cunt.
Chan smiles as he watches you sleep, knowing that he wouldn’t mind if you decide to act like a brat again anytime soon.
hi as someone who was ALSO absolutely murdered by the fuckin. THE red lights mv. send help i want to tie hyunjin up and pull his hair and watch him beg. i also want bang chan to ruin me <3 pick me up and slam me against a wall and just HGHHHHHH
ANYWAYS what i came here to say is that your writing is really good and i love it :]
i love you 🥺
ugh, i want ALL of this 😭 imagine being in a poly situation where Chan doms and you and Hyunjin are both switchy subs, and which role either of you takes on depends partly on ~the vibe of the day~, and partly on which one of you has been acting up
Hyunjin's been being bratty, tugging at your metaphorical pigtails, so Chan decides he needs to be punished—and since you've been so sweet and well-behaved for it all, you get to do it. Chan sits back and watches as you tie Hyunjin up and tease him, only interfering to offer the occasional suggestion or a niblet of praise for you—he barely acknowledges Jinnie at all, and that's part of his punishment.
you're maybe a little clumsy, a little overeager, but you've seen Chan take Hyunjin apart so many times, you know exactly how to unravel him. your nails raking down his chest, catching cruelly on his nipples, leaving trails of red along his skin and dragging desperate little whines out of him. your fingers pushing between those pillowy lips and fucking his mouth until drool runs down his chin and tears run down his cheeks. your hand tangled in his hair and tugging at his scalp while the other wraps around this throat and squeezes.
when Chan thinks he's had enough, sees he's right on the edge of breaking, he stops you to ask if you want your reward for being a good baby for him? and of course you do.
he takes you kneeling on the foot of the bed, positioned so Hyunjin has a clear view of the way you're falling apart in his arms, of the way his cock slides into you—part of your reward is knowing that you get what Hyunjin can't have. the way his cock twitches at the sight of you stretched so obscenely around Chan, the way his eyes flit from your arousal dripping down your thighs and onto Chan's heavy balls to the flutter of your lashes as his grip on your throat tightens and eases up, the naked desperation on his face that gets more pained with every whimper and moan that leaves you—it all just makes it sweeter when you finally cum around Chan's cock.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Strong language, vampire mythology, sexual content, casual sex, one night stand, feelings of regret, feelings of loss, blame and resentment, anger and conflict, self loathing and trauma, descriptions of violence and blood, coercion, adult content and underlying themes of horror throughout.
𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Chapter VIII of Sanguis Limerence: Awakening™. See Chapter I for story description.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Shifts in perspective from third to first person | Self-insert, female reader x Bang Chan | Self-insert, female reader x Lee Know (All members included)
𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐕: Contents List | Chapter I | Sanguis Limerence™ | Sanguis Limerence: Origins™
I used to have comfort in droves. I couldn’t move for lavish luxury and more money than I could have ever reasonably spent.
Funny how people change…
These days, all comfort serves to do is remind me of what I’ve lost. I’ll take sleeping rough over a made-up bed any day if it spares me of those memories. Some things just aren’t worth it.
Like my library, back at the old estate. The private space I had there.
I don’t doubt that the others knew about it, but they let me use it as a place to slink off to when they were climbing the mansion walls in boredom. Dealing with boisterous young vampires looking for kicks was a task requiring patience I simply didn’t have on my bad days.
It wasn’t much, the candlelit hideaway. But it was a retreat for me, a place I could just… be myself.
Eventually it became our place. Mine and hers.
Couldn’t even hold on to that, in the end.
In addition to my disdain for comfort, I’ve also never been okay with taking charity.
Maybe that has something to do with my human upbringing.
I was born to a disgustingly rich family. Where money was the language as well as the currency, and if you didn’t have it, you weren’t heard.
We didn’t need charity, neither did we give it, and I was always conditioned to believe that doing so would render you weak. Pathetic.
The man that takes charity from his neighbour is the man that dare not call himself a man. That’s what Cillian always used to say.
Not that I ever took any lessons on board from him, scum of the earth that he was.
But I suppose some things are just drilled into us, no matter how hard we try to shake them off.
I don’t, and have never, taken charity.
Not even when our situation demanded it.
When desperation should have outweighed my pride. Where a little charity would have taken us a long way.
No, I did what needed to be done, provided for my brothers as best I could and never at the mercy of someone else.
So… you can imagine my current discomfort.
Soft, clean sheets at my back, a fluffed pillow beneath my head. A thin cotton blanket draped over my waist, exposing my bare upper body to the warm air of the cabin. A fireplace roars beside the bed, filling the space with the musk of burning logs and newspapers. Glossed pine furniture fills the open plan room, decorated with delicate white doilies and paisley patterns. It’s the quintessential picture of country life.
I watch the shadows of the flames play against the rich wooden walls and sturdy oak beams that make up the ceiling.
The running of the shower water was a nice distraction from my thoughts, but it stops eventually.
The bathroom door opens, footsteps pad across the panelled flooring and plush rugs.
"Sorry," Lena whispers. "That took longer than I thought."
I smile absently, feeling nothing in particular, but noting that she looks good fresh from the shower.
Clad in nothing but a soft blue towel, her skin is dewy, her cheeks still a tender shade of rose. Her dark hair sticks to her back, and she tosses it over her shoulder, using the towel in her hands to dry it.
The smell of citrus wafts through the room, a combination of her soap and shampoo. It’s definitely not unpleasant.
"Come here," I sit up straight against the headboard, patting the free side of the bed.
She wanders over, staring intently when she gets close.
"Your eyes," she muses. "They’re brighter than before. Alive."
I nod and brush her hair from her shoulder, tilting her head aside by her chin as I inspect the damage on her neck.
"That’s because I’ve fed. You got a first aid kit?"
"Y- Yeah… In the kitchen."
I stand up from the bed, throwing the sheet aside without too much care. I feel her watching me as I stroll across the room, disappearing into the kitchen.
It’s small, but homely. Only one or two counters to speak of, a bare flame stove and small fridge. Freshly picked flowers sit in a small vase, pots and pans are dotted here and there.
There are cardboard boxes stacked against the back wall, some empty and some still sealed. Someone’s scrawled ‘kitchen’ in black marker across the surface, underlined several times.
"Did you just move in?" I call, finding it weirdly out of place. She talked like she’d been here for years.
"N- No…" she replies. "I was just moving some things around. An early spring cleanin’, that’s all."
I shrug it off, remembering that actually, I don’t care.
I open several cupboards and peer inside, finding nothing more interesting than a few boxes of cereal and old tins.
"Where’s the kit?" I frown.
"Top shelf, on the right," she shouts back.
Her voice carries across the space too loudly, and I wince with the impact of it.
She always used to talk normally when we were alone. Sometimes she’d even whisper when she didn’t want to be heard by anyone else. I always found that endearing.
But Lena isn’t her. She never will be.
And I know that, deep down.
So what the fuck am I doing?
I eventually find the kit, taking the green box from the shelf and flipping it open. There are no pills to speak of, just bandages and a few plasters, disinfectant wipes and a pair of old gloves.
I roll my eyes before reminding myself that not everyone keeps a consistent stash of vitamin B and iron pills on the off-chance they’re raked into a one night stand with a vampire.
One night stand… Is that even what this is?
Wandering back into the room, I see that she’s sat in front of the fire, legs crossed underneath her. The white sheet is wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes closed in something akin to content.
I’ll have to be the one to tell her it won’t last.
"Here," I instruct, sitting back on the bed and gesturing for her to join me.
She does so, watching me as I stretch out a ream of white bandage.
"Can you move this for me?"
She nods and slinks the sheet down, tucking it under her arm.
The marks on her neck are as neat as I could make them in the throws of my thirst. Two small pinpricks, pink and tender, still oozing a sliver of blood.
I lean into her, glossing my tongue over the wounds to collect the last drops of her essence. She shivers and sighs quietly, placing her hand on my thigh as I hold the bandage to her skin.
"Do you do this with all of them?" She whispers.
"All of what?"
I’m pretty sure I know what she means; I’m not fucking stupid. But I’m also not about to regale her with tales of a time when my morals were looser than a noblemans’ purse strings.
"You know," she hesitates. "Your… women."
"Women? You make it sound like I’ve got a stash of them ready to go," I scoff.
I glare at her, smoothing a length of tape along the sides of her bandage.
"No. Call me old fashioned but keeping a harem around wore out its’ novelty some centuries ago."
"But… didn’t you say there was a girl?"
My heart seizes up at the mention of her. Maybe it’s worse because I’m hearing it from Lena, someone I’ve just used to try and quell the loneliness for a little while.
But it usually doesn’t hurt this bad.
It’s not lost on me that this is effective cheating.
That what I’m doing here, with this naïve human girl, is tantamount to betraying everything I ever said to the girl I truly love. That I’m going against every promise I ever made, every sweet nothing I whispered into her ear while she trembled beneath me...
"You said you loved her," Lena tries to catch my line of sight.
"I did. I do…"
"What happened to her?"
"What was always bound to happen." I shake my head.
Silence settles in, and I wonder what Lena’s thinking. Maybe she’s convincing herself I’m a good person, despite my wrongdoings. I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s wrong.
"So, where is she…?" She asks.
I narrow my eyes at her, taking a deep breath in.
"I’d really rather not talk about it, Lena."
She purses her lips, looking a little disappointed. But she seems prepared to relent, thank fuck.
"Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry… I just don’t really know how any of this works."
"There’s nothing to know," I state. "We fucked. I fed on you. That’s it."
There’s silence as I finish dressing her wound, and I have a feeling I know what’s coming next. I just pray she doesn’t say it.
"That doesn’t have to be it, you know."
My stomach drops.
I stand from the bed, collecting the bandages and making a swift move back to the kitchen. This is a conversation I don’t want to have, much less with someone I barely know.
"You have nowhere to go, and I’m all alone here," she continues, following me across the room.
"You could stay?"
I hear the hope in her voice. The impossible dream that she thinks she might be the one to save me from my misery.
I like that she’s trying, I’ll give her that much.
But there’s no redemption for me. Or not from her, anyway.
"Look," I sigh. "I meant what I said back there, in the forest. You’re not special."
"I’m also not a fool," she shoots back. "I know gettin’ in good with the likes of you has its dangers. I’m just tryin’ to do a good thing, Chan."
"Why? For me? I don’t deserve good things, Vaillena. What we just did should be proof of that."
She shakes her head, holding her hand up to me vehemently.
"I’m inclined to disagree with you. That was most fun thing I’ve done in a heck of a long time."
"You’re not getting it," I almost laugh, in total bewilderment of this girl. "I don’t want you, romantically or as friends. You don’t want me either, you just don’t know it yet."
"I get that this is all new and exciting for you – you don’t know if I’m going to kiss you one minute or behead you the next – but believe me, that’ll wear off. Always does."
"Good lord," she laughs, throwing her arms to the air. "You are just a whole bundle of fun, you know that?"
"And you’re as deaf as a post," I throw back, turning away from her.
I head back towards the bedroom, collecting my clothes from the floor like bread crumbs as I go. I tug on my trousers, ignoring the small sniff of upset I hear from the kitchen.
"Fine," she calls, following me once more. "You’ve made your point. I get it. You don’t want anything from me, not friendship or anythin’ else. That’s just dandy."
I take a deep breath as she positions herself in front of me, her brown eyes wide with appeal.
"But you should at least stay the rest of the night."
"Lena, I told you-"
"It’s not charity," she interrupts, holding her hands up in defence. "It’d make me feel better… if you stayed. Fuckin’ and chuckin’ ain’t something I’m in the habit of doing, I was raised better than that."
I narrow my eyes, crossing my arms over my bare chest. She swallows, clearing her throat.
"Besides, the sun will be up soon, and I hear that’s not good for y’all."
She’s right about that, at the very least. Exposure to sunlight normally doesn’t irk me all that much, but I feel like I could do without the energy drain for the next few hours.
I exhale slowly, feeling the defeat rise in my chest.
"Fine," I groan. "But only so I can rest. The second I wake up, I’m out of here, and we’re done. Permanently. Understand?"
"Like a first-grade math test," she beams.
She quickly looks sheepish, her eyes darting around.
"B- Because… a first-grade math test is easy to… understand?"
I can’t stop the scoff of a laugh that inspires in me, and she smiles even wider.
It warms me, and I don’t notice it until I realise I’m feeling something other than cold, cruel loneliness.
There’s something about this girl that makes me want to see her smile.
And I know that’s not a good thing.
Waking up in an unfamiliar place never fails to throw me off course. Doesn’t matter how often I do it.
The first thing I feel is dread.
The vast expanse of fear that spills across my body, from head to toe until I realise there’s no blood on my hands. That’s a minor weight off my chest, albeit the most important one.
Next is to confirm the state of myself. How intoxicated I was and still am, how presentable I am and need to be if I’m to avoid drawing unwanted attention.
It’s all too rare I find myself in the state I happen to be now.
Swathed in clean cotton sheets, a mattress at my back. It’s a distinct improvement to the way I’ve been waking up the last few months, and that’s no mistake.
I stretch out my legs and relish in the space of the bed, the rolling of my joints as the sheets ruffle around me. Sitting up as best I can, I rub my eyes to clarity, taking in the scene before me.
The waning embers of dying flames glimmer in the fireplace, dressing the room with the smell of freshly smoked wood. White net curtains are draped across modest shuttered windows, the scenery beyond them too dark to make out, but I can hear the familiar sounds of the forest from here.
I either slept straight through the day to the following night, or for five goddamn minutes. Telling by the level of alertness I have; I assume it isn’t the latter.
The space beside me is empty, but I know it shouldn’t be. I wasn’t here alone.
Standing from the bed, I take the sheet with me and wrap it around my waist in place of trying to find my clothes again.
There’s no response, and I can’t detect anything that sounds like the presence of a human. Not even a heartbeat.
I quickly start to regret giving in to her request, no matter how refreshed I feel. A decent nights’ sleep was something I hadn’t had in all too long, but this was still charity.
It makes me feel… dirty.
Approaching the pine dining table in the centre of the room, a sudden scent hits me. I recognise it all too well, and instantly wish that I didn’t.
It’s tangy, rich in iron and potent enough to creep up on me without warning. My stomach lurches in trepidation and mild disgust.
Three blue and white porcelain bowls are nestled on the table, two of them empty. But the leftmost one isn’t. It’s the source of the smell, filled to the brim with still-warm blood.
I’m about to contemplate what the fuck is going on when I hear footsteps thudding around outside, the crunch of debris under booted feet.
A mumbling voice bleeds through the walls, but I hear it as clear as day.
"… Just ridiculous. I’m his favourite. She’s utterly insane if she thinks she can take my place. I’m doing this for him, he knows that. He’ll be so proud."
I don’t recognise the voice, but it’s eloquent and well spoken. Just the kind of accent you’d expect from an inner-city girl.
"I’ll singlehandedly show him he was right to put his faith in me. Bless the So-"
I head towards the front door of the cabin, throwing it open and stalking outside, only to watch in utter surprise as Vaillena stumbles over the tree line, her breath heavy and ragged.
She’s wrapped up in fur lined bomber jacket, a bow slung over her shoulder and a quiver attached to her back. The belt around her waist isn’t there for security, because it’s positively laden with dead rodents.
She stops at the sight of me, pushing her glasses up her nose and smiling like she’s not mid-caveman cosplay.
"Who… Was someone else just here?" I ask.
She blinks for a moment, looking around her almost comically.
"Ain’t no one here but me, honey. And a good mornin’ to you too."
I could have sworn I heard someone, but I know my mind hasn’t been the most reliable lately. Especially where the beast is concerned. I don’t smell anyone else other than Lena, that much is certain.
Must be losing it.
"Come inside, Miss. Grylls." I quip, gesturing for her to come in.
"Please," she pants, glaring at me. "That man doesn’t hold a candle to me, ain’t no comparison."
She breezes into the cabin, unhooking the belt and launching a myriad of expired squirrels and rats to the table. I watch the whole thing unfold with a confound sense of confusion.
"Hosting a dinner party?"
"Somethin’ like that," she approaches the cabinet on the wall, tugging it open and retrieving a hunting knife. "My dinner guest isn’t the conventional type, though."
She takes off her bow and hooks it back to the wall, followed by her quiver and the several arrows it holds.
"You… caught all these?"
"I did indeed. Daddy taught me to hunt, he wanted to make sure I’d know how to look after myself out here. Turns out I’m a catch with a bow."
I glance at her hands, at the scuffs on her skin. She must have fallen or scraped herself, there are smears of blood and dirt on her palms. But she doesn’t act like she’s hurt. Doesn’t even address it.
She simply sits at the table, dragging one of the empty bowls to her. She takes a squirrel by the neck, holding it above the bowl, and in one, swift motion, slices the thing open from neck to stomach.
"Lena…" I mutter, placing both my hands on the table. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck has possessed you, or do I have to keep guessing?"
She raises an eyebrow at me, placing the bloodied knife on the table and resting her chin in the palm of her hand. The squirrel remains held in the air, bleeding out into the bowl.
"I thought vampires were supposed to be smart. Years of wisdom and all that," she sighs.
I glare at her, resisting the urge to take that squirrel from her and throw it back to the wilderness it came from.
"It’s for you. Obviously."
"You thought I was going to be drinkin’ all this blood? I mean, I’ve never tried it so I’m a little curious, but I-"
I slam my fists to the table, unable to control the confusing combination of rage, admiration and frustration building inside me.
"What are you doing?" I snarl.
"Providin’ for my guest," she states, her tone steady. "I figured you’d want to eat before you-"
"Did I ask you to provide for me? I assure you, I’m quite capable of hunting a few fucking rats."
I run my hands through my hair, gripping at the roots as she simply stares at me.
"I never doubted it," she shakes the squirrel to expel the last few drops. "Just thought I’d save you a trip or two. Seriously, what are you fussin’ for?"
"Are you trying to get me to like you? Is that it?"
She scoffs under her breath, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Really? You forget what we did last night? I assumed that you already kind of liked me, Chan."
I feel my blood running hotter, my head throbbing in annoyance.
I can’t do this again. Not with her, not with anyone.
"Why do you have such a hard time acceptin’ help?" She asks, taking another squirrel from the belt. "Not everyone has an ulterior motive. Good karma is a thing, you know."
I see the clouding fog seeping into my vision, the red hue that indicates the stirring of the beast.
Without thinking, I snatch the squirrel from her hand, ripping the thing clean in two with not an ounce effort. The innards fall to her floor, the blood decorates my chest, warm and thick.
She gawps at me, blinking several times before she purses her lips and reaches for another rodent.
I want her to throw me out. To call me a monster and tell me she never wants to see me again. That would make this easier.
"That was a mighty waste, Chan. Cost me a good arrow."
"Stop!" I yell, tossing the two halves of the squirrel to the wall. "Stop giving me a reason to stick around! Stop acting like this is normal! Stop… Stop being so fucking nice!"
My shoulders are quaking, and I close my eyes tightly.
Visions of her face return to me, of the tears she expelled for me. Of the pity in her eyes, the first I’d ever seen from anyone. Of her words of love and affection, for me and the beast inside me.
I fucking miss her…
With every fibre of my being. Every possible cell in my dead, cold body cries for her in unison.
I know that I’ll never find what I had in her again, and the prospect of life eternal without her is more damning than the worst of fates.
My chest aches, my throat is so dry I feel like I’ll never be quenched if not by her.
For the first time since I really care to admit... I feel the endless pit her absence left behind. The pit that I created, when I tore her apart.
And all I want to do is fall into it.
I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, going long with all this. Entertaining the idea that Lena could even hold a candle to what I once had.
I’m supposed to be suffering.
I deserve every inch of pain that comes my way, and all the rest.
I hear footsteps pad across the wooden floor of the cabin, a small sniff of empathetic upset.
I open my eyes, feel the unfamiliar sting of... something I’ve not felt in fucking centuries.
Lena stands before me, and as though she’s taking to cradling a child, she outstretches her arms, wrapping them around my middle.
Her warmth is inherently comforting, but it tears at the parts of me that don’t want comfort. The scent of fresh soil envelops me, of nature and the parts of the forest she brought in with her.
A cheek presses to my blood smeared torso, the pattering of a tentative heart rings clear in my ears.
"I might not know you," Lena mutters quietly. "But I know a soul in pain when I see one."
She meets my gaze, her gentle brown eyes taking in every inch of my face. Words catch in my throat, the lump that’s formed there forces them back down.
"Stay. Heal," she implores.
"Just for a little while."
A/N: Would love to know your thoughts on this, as always. Hope you’re enjoying so far. Mica
warnings: hard kinks for some members, described fantasies mention somnophilia (dubcon), pain kink (hair pulling, slapping, scratching, slight choking), knife play, humiliation, praise kink, overstimulation, orgasm control/chastity, traditional gender roles as a kink, slight breeding kink.
this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes only.
he realizes it the first time you take a nap on the sofa of chan’s studio. the moment his eyes fell on your sleeping form - face smooth and relaxed against his favorite pillow, chest rising and sinking slowly, your lips slightly parted like petals of a rose in bloom - chan’s thoughts run wild. sure, he has known about somnophilia for a while, he definitely remembers occasionally getting off on a clip of a tired sub getting used while drifting off to sleep, but he never got how some people could go crazy over it. not until now. a deep sigh leaves you as you turn into a more comfortable position, mouth opening ever so slightly and before he can think about it chan runs his thumb over your lower lip carefully. his breath gets caught in his throat when you don’t react, not even a shadow of irritation passing over your calm face. you trust him, chan realizes and he feels his heart squeeze as well as his cock swell, you trust him to look out for you and care for you that you can allow yourself to be entirely vulnerable. chan runs his thumb over your pliant lip again and imagines his hands trailing further. would you get wet enough for him if he touched you oh so softly in secret? would you gasp the same way you always do when he pressed his thick cock into you for the first time? maybe it would be the feeling of him burying himself inside of you completely that would have you waking up. chan can envision you so clearly, bleary eyes looking up at him as you squirm from the unexpected intrusion. “it’s just me, babygirl,” he’d whisper to you. “just relax and let me take care of you, yeah?” he imagines your arms and legs wrapping around him like you’re inviting him in, then your body slowly going limp as his gentle thrusts rock you back to dreamland. chan gets pulled from his imagination when you - the real you in front of him - stir again, eyes fluttering open to meet his intense stare. “what is it?” you ask, puzzled by the way he’s staring at you. chan shrugs. “nothing, baby. you just looked so cute i couldn’t stop staring at you.”
minho knows you’ve always suspected how kinky he is and there have been a lot of open conversations and long nights of exploring some of his favorite fantasies together. but somehow minho still can’t get himself to share his interest in knife play with you. he keeps catching himself thinking about dragging the dull, flat side of the sharp object along your skin. would goosebumps bloom on your skin wherever his blade touches you? if he cut your panties off of you, would he find your pussy wet for him? would you looks at him with lust in your eyes? disgust? fear? it’s the thought of the latter that makes minho’s cock throb in the confines of his jeans. all attempts of stopping are thrown to the side now. minho presses the heel of his palm to his aching erection as he lets his thoughts run wild. would you beg him to actually use the knife on you? or beg him not to use it - promising you’d let him do whatever he liked? and would be be willing to hold a knife to his throat and whisper cold, hard threats into his ear with your sweet voice, if he asked you to? surprisingly it’s this thought that makes minho cum, soiling his boxers with his release. by the time he’s cleaned up minho has made up his mind: he has to talk to you about this.
the first time you had sex with changbin you asked him to touch himself for you, so you could see how to make him feel good. you honestly didn’t think too much about it, but changbin felt like he just got gut-punched. he was so embarrassed, but he couldn’t deny the hot flush of arousal rushing through his body when he rid himself of his pants and boxers and immediately felt your eyes fixated on his hard cock. his ears turned a cute shade of red, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he played with himself for you, the humiliation of being watched while masturbating settling in his stomach and adding on to his arousal. greedy for your reaction he couldn’t stop himself from mumbling about how much he’s been thinking about fucking you and how he needs you to sit on his dick now before he cums in his hand. “fuck, you’re shameless,” you told him, scrambling over to settle in his lap. changbin felt like his nerve endings just got electrified. yes, he was shameless, he was a pervert, he loved the feeling of you humiliating him and you saw right through him from the start. but after this first time nothing like that happens again. you don’t realize what it was that got him so frenzied - probably writing it off as nervousness for your first time together. it hasn’t been too long, you’re still exploring the feeling of each others bodies, not playing with any roles or kinks yet - but already changbin wishes you could see how much he needs you to push his limits again. he wants you to purposefully embarrass him this time. changbin needs it so bad, he’s ready to show you how desperate he is for you to treat him like the pitiful pervert he is.
it’s no secret that hyunjin likes it when you play rough. there’s no use trying to hide it with the way he gasps and moans when you pull at strands of his hair or dig your nails into the skin of his back. but you still don’t know how much hyunjin truly gets off on you inflicting pain on him. when you run your fingers through his hair he can’t help but wish you would replace your gentle grip with a more vicious one, twisting and tugging at his roots until his eyes are brimming with tears and he can’t do anything but move exactly the way you want him to. he wishes you would grab his jaw with unyielding hands, nails digging into his soft cheeks so hard he can still feel the phantom of your touch afterwards. whenever he feels your fingers trailing down his back he can’t stop thinking about how your they would feel wrapped around his throat or mercilessly pushing down on his tongue until he has to fight his gag reflex and starts crying for you. and even out of the bedroom, hyunjin can’t stare at your hands for too long without imagining their red imprint on his face, his hot tears spilling down his stinging cheek as he begs you to hurt him more. he’s unsure if his fantasies are too intense for you. despite having an open mind, would you want to use up your precious energy to satisfy a depraved masochist like him? so hyunjin reserves this part of him for his alone time and settles for rutting his aching cock against a pillow, his own hands in his hair, his desperate cries of “i’m your painslut, i’m your painslut” ringing through the empty room.
jisung’s usually very vocal about what he wants and needs in bed. no matter how kinky or unusual his fantasies get, jisung is never too shy to show you something he saw in a porn video or heard another member talk about. it doesn’t matter if he’s domming or subbing, jisung is always running his mouth, letting you know just how to get him there. that’s why he can’t quite explain himself why he seems to be unable to tell you about his praise kink. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to ask you to call him a good boy, he wants to deserve it. it’s so hard for him to follow rules though, even when he is in a submissive headspace he’s trying to tease you and rile you up to make sure you’re going to give it to him harder. and he loves getting roughed up and punished because of this, but most of the time he can’t help but wish he would have obeyed you just a little more, just so he can hear those two words - “good boy” - fall from your lips. little does jisung know that you already figured out this adorable fetish of his a long time ago - it’s kind of hard to miss with how he keeps asking you “do you like this? how does it feel for you? does it feel good, baby?” or the way his hips kick every time you even begin to whisper the word “good”. you already have started purposefully sprinkling in praises for the smallest acts of obedience, just to see jisung trying to hold back a desperate whine. how clueless he is makes abusing your newfound power even more fun than it is already is.
you’ve dabbled in orgasm control a bit, usually with him in your lap and your hands moving up and down his leaking cock, slowing down whenever he got close a couple of times before finally granting him that big orgasm that makes his eyes roll back in his head from the bliss of releasing all the pent up frustration. but this is not enough for him. felix wants to be able to last longer for you even when he gets his dick inside of you. despite you telling him it’s cute that he always cums so easily for you and you’re more than happy with him getting you off with his fingers and his mouth, felix just wants to be a good fuck for you - to satisfy you not only with his fingers, tongue or sex toys but to be able to make you cum with his cock as well. he knows he can, he just needs more time! so felix practices with his fleshlight, gripping the toy with both of his hands as he fucks it with sloppy, irregular thrusts. he tries to imagine you telling him to stop when he gets close, pulling out with a frustrated groan, hips jerkily humping into the air as his cock seeks the friction of his toy. he manages to hold off once, maybe even twice, but usually his brain immediately wanders to you telling him it’s okay, you know he gets overwhelmed, he can just let go for you now. because you’re so good to him. you always know what to say and how to touch him, whispering soft praises in his ear and guiding him through his high whenever the feeling of your soft, warm walls has him cumming in mere minutes again. he loves the way you take care of him but, fuck, sometimes he wishes you would just put him in chastity, lock his needy cock away in a cage so he can focus on purely giving pleasure to you. but bringing this up to you, sincerely begging you to not let him cum because he just can’t help it if you don’t take full control of his body? he can’t imagine anything more pathetic. so he doesn’t let himself do that, not yet. he’ll prove he can be good for you by finishing his own training first.
he loves all the cute and domestic aspects of your relationship. he loves texting you good morning and good night, loves holding your hand when you go grocery shopping, loves eating your homemade food when he’s come down with a cold. both of you have busy schedules though, so you can’t be with each other as much as you’d like. seungmin knows the two of you have all the time in the world to build your relationship more and he absolutely adores the independent person that you are. but sometimes, when he’s alone in another hotel room, with his hand on his cock and you on his mind, seungmin imagines your wedding night. he imagines you finally letting him fuck you raw, begging him to breed you. he imagines you waiting for him in his favorite skirt and an apron when he comes home from work every night. he imagines you being a good, pliant housewife who bends over and let’s him use you whenever he needs to relieve stress, whimpering for his cum. seungmin swears he loves your relationship just the way it is, but there’s something about that image that makes his orgasms so much more intense.
he’s not quite sure when it started, but jeongin knows he has an obsession with overstimulation. there’s really no denying it when he finds himself searching up those videos every day, fascinated with clips of desperate girls being rubbed and licked and played with until they’re squirting and crying only to then get touched some more. it seems so intense, so obscene to watch someone to be forced to let go like this, that jeongin feels his throat drying and the beginnings of a hard-on forming in his pants when he just thinks about it. is it really possible to give someone so much pleasure that it seems like their mind breaks? to make someone cum over and over again until they can’t think or speak or stop drooling? would he be able to do that to you if you let him try? one time, in a random surge of confidence jeongin had let his fingers brush over your clit after both of you already came, rubbing one, two, three messy circles against your throbbing bundle of nerves before you pushed his hand away. however he hadn’t missed the surprised sound you made at that first touch, your pussy suddenly clamping down on his softening dick that was still buried inside you and making both of you shiver with sensitivity. jeongin keeps replaying that moment in his mind, imagining what would have happened if you had just let him keep on touching you. but he has to consider that so far the two of you have had sex only on a handful of occasions. and you having to show him how to make you cum the first couple of times before he got the hang of it has him questioning whether or not he would be able to really get you to that point of overstimulation without your guidance. no, he decides, he has to wait until he knows your body better before suggesting this type of thing. for now it will remain his secret fantasy.
note: sorry that i haven’t been that active lately, i’ve been too busy simping over pixelated cowboys (yes red dead) 🥴 please enjoy some smutty goodness as an apology - smut straight under the cut, beware! also, this whole post is just an excuse for me to indulge in hard!seungmin
the softest dom to ever exist™
he’ll worship every inch of your skin, muttered praises being left with every hot open-mouthed kiss he showers you in
low chuckles leave him as you rut and whine against him - practically melting at his touch
a l w a y s keeps a tight grip on you hips, just cause he loves seeing the small imprint dents his fingers leave in your soft flesh
he’ll kiss down the expanse of your body as foreplay, smothering your face in loving pecks before making his way past your collarbones and stomach, stopping at your panties
his teeth will softly nip at the thin band before hooking his long fingers around the material and promptly tugging them down your thighs, mouth watering at the sight of your drenched cunt
he always takes his time before giving into your begs, loving the look of utter desperation coating your pretty features
makes you cum at least twice with just his fingers and mouth
laps up every last drop of wetness that seeps out of your core, holding your trembling thighs still with his strong hands as the muscles of his mouth eat away at your pussy
he’ll take your bud into his mouth, sucking the sensitive flesh and watching smugly as you hoarsely cry out into the room, hips rasing to follow his lips
he loves to intertwine his fingers with your own as he eats you out, each tight squeeze of your hand letting him know exactly how close you are
he also loves the intimacy that comes with handholding during sex
didn’t even realise he had a bulging kink until he met you
the first time he ever saw the outline of his dick jutting out against the flesh of your stomach he almost creamed inside you
presses the palm of his hand flat against the protrusion and softly groans once he feels himself with every sloppy thrust past your folds, the sounds of his cock meeting your wet sex making his head dizzy
he just loves how well you’re able to take him despite your tight hole being far too small to fit the entirety of his thick cock into
he rarely ever dirty talks during sex but when he does it’s always quiet praises
“thats my good girl, taking me so well.”
“you love this cock huh? you’re just begging me to ruin you, sweetheart.”
LOVES MANHANDLING YOU
softly wraps a hand around your neck while sinking into you slowly, thumb reaching up to trace your bottom lip as small gasps of air slip past, focusing on the way he fills you up
cockwarming is a must with this man
especially in his studio
he’ll have you sit on his lap as he works away on a new song, back pressed against his hard chest while he continues to stuff your pussy full with his hard cock
curses softly in your ear everytime you dare clench around him
eventually gives into your needy pouts and the circling of you hips - bending you over his desk and pressing your head against the cold wood before his hips meet your ass once again
always falls into a cold sweat whenever someone asks him why he has to keep buying new studio chair and makes mental note to punish you later for being such a damn tease
sometimes he humours you and lets you ride him, but the hard grip on your thighs and brushing of his dick against your warm walls reminds you that he’s always the one in control
will always spoil you afterwards, feeling guilty for the aching of your pussy and marks he left on your skin
he’s such a fucking tease
overstimulates you until you’re practically sobbing against him
never once breaks eye contact with you, dark eyes boring into your own teary ones as his digits rub lazily at your bud, teasingly slipping past your folds and dipping into your wet core
he’s an expert at fingering you at this point
curls his fingers deep inside your cunt, your slick coating them and gushing down the flesh of your thighs as he continues to stretch you out
he’ll gather up some of your liquids once he removes his fingers, ignoring your small whines of disapproval before bringing them up to your lips, tapping the soft skin and urging you to suck
turns absolutely feral watching your tongue swirl slowly around his digits, making sure to lick them clean of your wetness as his dick stiffens against your thigh, wanting nothing more than to feel your pretty lips around his dick
l o v e s being in control
he’ll pin your hands above your head as he leaves soft kisses against the expanse of your collarbones - the gentleness of his lips contrasting greatly with the blunt nails digging into your wrists, not paying any mind to your bratty complaining
his mouth always makes sure to leave a few markings in their wake around your thighs, loving the thought of your skirt flipping up later and everyone seeing your pretty, kiss-bruised flesh
also a major giver
he’ll eat you out for hours on end, the sore muscles in his jaw working away at your dripping cunt was worth the pain as you tug onto his disheveled locks and legs trembling on either side of his head, making his hips rut down against the sheets beneath him, tongue impatiently luring you towards orgasm
his chin and lips will be shining with your wetness once he pulls away, not hesitating to place his mouth against yours and force you to taste yourself on his tongue
he gets off on rubbing the tip of his cock against your aching bud, the small pleas leaving your raw throat almost making him want to give in
but he’s a masochist, so he’ll draw every whine, whimper and beg from you before he even thinks about giving you what you want
seeing how much of a slut you turn into when begging for his dick makes dragging out his own pleasure worth it
he’ll edge you towards orgasm for hours if you dare disobey him - his length filling up each dent and crevice of your pussy before swiftly pulling out once he feels you clench tightly around him, reminding him how close you were
he continues his pleasurable torture on your abused cunt until you finally cry out for release, loud enough for the rest of the dorm to hear you
then he’ll fuck up into you until your pussy is raw and red, practically pulsating around him
he’ll make sure to fit thigh riding into his daily routine everyday too
the sight of your naked cunt dragging along the material of his rough jeans is too good not to savour
he won’t assist you either
prefers to sit back and watch you struggle to get yourself off, feeling your sticky wetness seep through the material of his trousers
he’ll only even think about helping you if you beg him enough, something about your voice dripping in sheer desperation is enough for him to fuck you right there on the dorms sofa
it doesn’t matter where you are or if the boy are near, he’ll find every opportunity to tease you and turn you into a complete mess with just his cruel words
he’s such a switch and i’ll take no other arguments
one minute he’ll be sobbing underneath you while begging for his release and the next he’ll have you on all fours, forcing you to bite into your pillow to muffle any whines or moans you dare to make
he only speaks in pouts and that translates into sex too
his lower lips will jut out into a cute little frown whenever you decide to tease him, teeth nipping at the sensitive skin as his hips resist the urge to rut against your own
he’s far too stubborn for his own good so he’ll let you drag out his pleasure for hours, refusing to give into your soft demands
eventually submits once your hand ‘accidentally’ brushes against his straining cock, the fleeting touch enough to make him jolt against your hold
turns into the most whiny boy afterwards, dick twitching against his stomach and damp hair falling into his eyes, words stumbling over eachother as you purposely continue to deny him
a connoisseur of face sitting <333
his fingers will grasp at any sort of flesh he can as soon as your legs settle on either side of his head, groaning lowly once your wet cunt comes into his view
he practically buries his head against you, nose nudging your bud before leaving a soft kiss on your folds, cursing lwoly when your hands tangle and tug his disheveled locks
eats you out throughly and eagerly, not letting one drop of your sweet wetness go to waste
he’ll ignore the desperate curving of his cock against his stomach, toes curling into the sheets below as you continue to grind your pussy against his mouth - the warmth of his flat tongue stroking your core combined with the strong grip on your thighs making your tummy twist with need
his tongue will eventually resort to fucking your tight hole, a satisfied moan being hummed against you once he feels your legs tremble in his hold
he’s also just as much of an enthusiast of blowjobs as he is with eating you out
becomes such a brat as soon as you teasingly lick away at his slit, the softest of whines falling from his lips and back arching off the bed with need
his mouth works before his brain, so expect a lot of rushed begs and stuttered pleas
feels himself malfunction once he hits the back of your throat, hands grasping at the covers beneath him while his hips raise in order to fuck your mouth harder and deeper
he has the biggest kink for cumplay so as soon as you stick your tongue out to catch his warm liquids while looking up at him through doe eyes his lips will be unable to form any coherent words, legs shaking and cock softening in your hold
as much as he loves submitting to you, theres no stopping this man whenever he’s jealous
as soon as he sees one of the boys getting too close for his liking he’ll instantly drag you to the nearest empty room, ignoring the questionable glances the others threw his way
he’ll fuck you right there against the wall, legs desperately clinging around his waist as he urges you to moan his name louder with every thrust he inflicts on your drenched cunt
he’ll leave marks in places you’re not able to cover them, stifling a smug chuckle when you glare towards him everytime someone points them out
also extremely fond of lingerie
lets his hands ghost over your body, admiring your glowing beauty in the sheer fabric and questioning how he got so lucky
before simply pushing your panties to the side and slipping his fat cock past your folds, the warmth and wetness of your pussy causing his face to slack with pleasure
he’s a H U G E cuddlier after sex and demands to be held, so leave some kisses on his forehead and lull him to sleep and he’ll be happy
he’s so giving during sex but not before edging you until you’re on the brink of tears
L O V E S using his mouth and fingers on you at the same time
he doesn’t rush while eating you out, hands pinning your thighs to bed to keep them spread as his tongue licks fat stripes up the centre of your pulsating pussy, tuning out your low whimpers of need
his long digits will circle your core, curving deep against your walls and feeling every crevice and twitch of your cunt
he’ll greedily lap up the liquids that seep from your hole until your sore, raw and shaking in his hold
pulls away with his lips drenched in your wetness before coaxing you into a open-mouthed kiss, tongue pushing against your own and sharing his salvia with you, urging you to taste yourself
he’ll constantly keep his mouth busy during sex
whether its nipping at your own lips, leaving markings against your neck or worshiping your perk breasts
he just loves the taste of you on his buds
also really into overstimulation
once he finally gives into your pitiful begs of release there’s no stopping him
makes you cum again and again until you’re a absolute mess beneath him, legs trembling, tear stained cheeks and pussy aching from his torment
eats up every moan, plea and groan you emit
fills you up the brim and twitches deep against you, fingers reaching down to flick and pinch at your cunt - determined to draw out your sweet sounds of pleasure
he doesn’t pay any regard to anyone else in the dorm, if he wants to make you scream for them all to hear he will
he’ll coax you to sit on his lap with gentle words during move nights with the boys, hands splayed against your thighs as you try to focus on the screen
before they make their way down to your shorts, slipping past and brushing against your already soaked core
he’s quick to fill you to the brim with his veiny cock under the blanket, large hand pressed flat against your mouth to muffles your soft sighs
absolutely GETS OFF on the thought of being caught by one of the boys
so the movement and ruts of his hips will be exaggerated and sloppy, feeling you come undone quickly on his lap, the soft grind of your ass letting him know just how much you actually enjoyed it
softly flicks at your bud once you squeeze tightly around him, milking him dry before the others cast him a curious glance at his low growl
he won’t even acknowledge the eyes peering at you both, his long and thick cock continuing to stretch your small hole out
he’ll make sure to get you back for teasing him though
also l o v e s threesomes
he doesn’t mind sharing you, cause he always makes sure to remind you who you really belong to after
he never hesitates to invite jisung into the bedroom with you both - watching his bestfriend fuck you until you’re sobbing and begging for more is one of his favourite sights
he’ll eventually join you both, but not before making a snide comment
“you sure you can handle two cocks at once, honey?”
your wide eyes and flushed cheeks are more than answer for him, coaxing you onto all fours before slipping into your pussy, watching with hunger as you struggle to fit the younger boys cock past your lips, eyes filling up with unshed tears insides twitching with want
CORRUPTION KINK TO THE MAX WITH THIS MAN
he knows just how innocent you were before you met him so he’ll sprinkle a few ‘darlings’ and ‘angels’ between his dirty words when you take his dick further into your mouth
as soon as you look up at him with big doe eyes and cum dribbling down the side of your mouth he knows he’s a goner
takes the crown for the brattiest sub ever
he’s so needy for your attention 24/7
he’s also extremely vocal during sex - whining and fussing against your hold until you finally give into his demands
teasing you is his favourite past-time
he’ll have you laying beneath him, fingers slowly drawing small circles on your clit as he admires your glassy eyes, the pad of his thumb resting against the top of your puffy cunt before he suddenly curls his digits against your walls
loving the look of frustration building up on your face as he continuously denies your release
constantly brings you to the brink of orgasm with his length, pulsating deep inside your core and leaking tip practically kissing your womb
just as he gets the sense you’re about to cum he’ll hastily remove himself, cruel chuckles leaving him as you almost sob beneath him
sends you videos of himself stroking his cock while he’s on tour just to be the tease that he is
his breathless whines are the only thing that slips past his lips, thumb pressing hard into his slit as he moans and begs for you
says things like, “wish you were here. need to be inside you.”
he’ll make a full show of it, hip raising to meet the desperate movements of his hand and softly muttering to himself, urging you to send something back
he also LOVES using toys on you
presses the vibrater harder against your hole, watching you fidget against the sheets and arch further into his body - nipples erect and sweat tracing your skin as your orgasm continued to build
just as you’re about to cum he’ll take the toy away, silencing your small complaints and furrowed brows once he replaces it with his leaking cock, the angry tip nudging past your entrance
he fucks you slow and hard, cock brushing impossibly deep past your walls and filling you up so well, watching you come undone quickly beneath him
will literally trash talk your sex toys as if he hadn’t been using them on you five seconds before
“see? you don’t need some useless toy getting you off when i’m right here, darling.”
nothing gets him going quite like stockings
as soon as his eyes lay sight on the sheer fabric hugging your flesh he has the sudden urge to fuck you against the nearest wall
and will sit with a pout on his lips the entire night once you make him wait
he’s completely feral once he finally gets his hands on you, rutting against your panties and ripping every article of clothing off of your body except for the thigh-highs clinging perfectly to your flesh
he just thinks you look so pretty and angelic in them
only ever takes his time whenever he’s eating you out
kisses his way up your thighs as you watch him curiously, mouth settling against your clothed heat before mouthing against the soft fabric of your underwear - feeling your wetness seep through and onto his awaiting tongue
he’ll pay no mind to your embarrassed whimper, eager to lap up every ounce of wetness
simply pushes your panties to the side, mouth quickly attaching itself to your slit and sucking on your bud
he never leaves you unsatisfied, tongue softly nudging your hole and humming against your cunt as you quiver beneath him
tuts lowly as he forces you to keep your trembling legs spread open, cleaning up the wetness that pooled down your thighs and onto the bed
leaves a gentle kiss against your sensitive pussy once he’s done, the sight of his chin and lips shining in your liquids enough to make you hide your face shyly
he’ll pry your hands away from your eyes, pressing his mouth to your own and allowing you to taste yourself
he’s such an angel for you
he prefers being in control during sex but he’ll never complain when you take over
ride this man and he’ll do anything for you
something about the sight of you taking him so well as your palms lay flat against his sweat-glistened chest, eyes blown out with hunger and lips plump from his needy kisses really gets him going
also, the fact that it gives him the perfect view his length jutting out against the flesh of your stomach every time you grind down against him
he won’t comment on it, but he’s secretly proud that he’s big enough to leave a outline with every thrust of his cock
his eyes will stay glued to the bulge, thickness becoming impossibly harder against your cervix as your back arches off the bed, the jut becoming more prominat against your tummy with your movements
he gives into every small pout and plea you make almost instantly, the hopeful look in your eyes causing his dick to strain and twitch painfully against his thigh, your cunt almost begging him to bury himself inside you already
praises to the m a x
he’ll bury his face into your loose strands of hair, nose softly nudging your temple and closing his eyes in bliss - savouring the warmth of your pussy around him and the quiet mewls you let out
“you’re so pretty, feel so good taking me like this.”
he barely gets his words out, coming out choked and muttered as he struggles to focus on anything but the wither in your legs and the clenching of your tight hole around him
he absolutely melts at the thought of soft sex
and is a firm believer of constantly confessing his love for you while your pussy is milking him dry
leaves soft pecks anywhere his lips can reach
and he won’t be satisfied until your entire body is covered in his doting praises
he’s so overly gentle with you, hands ghosting over your curves and hips barely brushing against your own, taking his time to feel every twitch and clench of your inner walls
looks at you with nothing but adoration in his eyes while stretching you out
has his forehead pressed against your own, breathing heavily and brushing his lips against yours as you mewl beneath him
softly rubs at your clit while being deep inside you, just to see you arch further into him and grasp at his shoulders, lips parting to beg for more
marking is one of his love languages so expect your thighs and collarbones to be covered in bruises and love bites
he’ll kiss them for you afterwards though 🥺
BODY WORSHIP IS A MUST OKAY
he’s constantly in awe of your beauty and never fails to tell you just how pretty you look with your pussy stuffed full of him, a milky line connecting the head of his cock to your glistening pussy each time he pulls away - only to inflict more forceful grinds past your walls
calls you his ‘pretty angel’ constantly, the lovingness of his words unable to match the burning his fat cock caused while stretching you out, feeling your velvety walls close in around him
also lives for the intimacy of cockwarming
simply collapses ontop of your spent body, curling into your chest and not paying any mind to the stickiness of both your bodies, softened cock still buried inside you
he just absolutely loves the feeling of your warm walls twitching around him all night and sleep better when connected to you
he may look like the sweetest boy alive but that doesn’t mean he’s not afraid to make you sob and scream for the entire dorm to hear
always starts out slow and loving, taking his time to worship and praise you in every possible way
ghosting his lips over the entirety of your body, not paying any mind to your sharp intakes off breath everytime he brushes over your pert tits
he’ll leave the most affectionate of kisses against your heated skin, goosebumps appearing in their wake as he showers you in love, length coming to a hilt inside of you and kissing deliously against your knotted womb
it drives him wild knowing the effect he has on you
and his desire for you is shown through the twitching of his needy head against your convulsing walls
but as soon as you start pouting and squirming in his hold his eyes will darken with hunger, not hesitating to push his cock further into your tight hole and stretch you open more, watching your face twitch slightly from the sensitivity of your aching pussy
he loves watching your face slack with pleasure once he gently wraps his hand around your neck, eyes falling shut and whimper threatening to spill from your pouted lips as he barely applies any pressure - hips grinding against your own and the sounds of your slick arousal meeting his own filling the room
gulps quietly while he watches you make a fuss beneath him, adams apple bobbing in his throat as his pre-cum dripped out of your pretty cunt, coating your folds in the white liquids and staining the pristen sheets
his need to fuck you against the nearest hard surface is constant and he makes sure to let you know
he gets especially riled up after shows, sweat dripping from his hairline and adrenaline pumping through his veins
he won’t hesitate to drag you into the nearest dressing room, ignoring every confused quiry falling form your kissable lips
pushes you up against the door roughly, lips immediately finding yours before his hands slip up your skirt, taking your lower lip between his teeth softly as the tips of his fingers brush against the soft skin of your thighs before stopping at your core, teasing you through your panties - barely giving you any time to respond to his hungry kisses, tongue pushing against your own
he’ll practically force your begs out of you, fingers curling deep inside of you without warning while eating up every moan you hummed against his mouth hungrily, the sloppiness of the kiss making him press harder against you
constantly reminds you how much of a slut you are for him and how willing you are to fuck him anywhere between pants, tuning out the chatter of the other boys on the other side of the door and focusing on how tight your hole spasmed around him
he’ll eventually have to shove his fingers into your mouth, eyes coaxing you to suck on them to silence your whimpers, his cock continuing its torment on your cunt
LOVES to cum inside you before shoving his fingers into your core, plugging up his liquids and making sure they stayed coated against your walls
simply knowing that you were walking around and chatting to others with his cum seeping out of you and leaking down your thighs makes him so territorial
he loves to watch you crumble when he whispers into your ear, eyes catching the way your thighs clench and rub together with need
he’ll keep his hand gripping your leg tightly, dangerously close to where you most needed him
but he also loves it when you tease him back, making a point to remind him of your lack of underwear under your skirt when around the others, a playful glint in your eye and petty smile tugging at your lips
cue to a few hours later and he’ll be fucking you into the matress without compassion, legs thrown hastily over his shoulders for his cock to reach the deepest parts of your warmth
he’ll make you regret ever teasing him in the first place, edging you until your on the verge of tears
okay but he also has a soft spot for more gentle sex and thats the tea
he especially loves it on his lazy days off, spooning your from behind and lazily thrusting into your core, your liquids mixing together and trailing down the expanse of your leg
peppers small pecks across your bare shoulders, hand reaching down to stimulate you along with his cock
buries his face into the crook of your neck and lets out the most prettiest gasps as he’s about to cum, warm breath hitting your heated skin
he’ll slump against you once he brings you over the edge - failing to care about the mess your wetness made on the sheets as he snuggles against your back, leaving small kisses against it every now and then as he drifts in and out of slumber
the goodest boy ever™
he’ll listen to every demand you make happily, only wanting to please you
and if that means dragging out his own pleasure then so be it
he fully believes his life purpose is to satisfy you
ruts against you greedily when you continuously deny his pleasure, the cutest little begs falling from his kiss-bruised lips and glassy eyes staring into your own - glinting with hope and watching your every move
the epitome of ‘🥺’ during sex
he knows how much of a tease you are and how far you like to take it with your dirty words and fleeting touchs - so he’ll warn you to tone it down everytime you stay the night at the dorm, already knowing his words are going in over your head
he secretly looks forward to it though, the thought of sneaking around the others really gets him going and he knows he’ll do just about anything to feel you around him
he’ll have to bite the back of his fist, being careful not to wake the other sleeping member in the room as you leave soft kisses down the column of his neck, hips rocking against his and breathy moans being shared between you
he gets a little carried away though, hands fisting at the sheets and head thrown back against his pillow, choked moans and stuttered begs leaving his throat as you drag your cunt along the underside of his cock, taking in his flushed skin and wide eyes with pride
his stare will stay pinned to your core, watching it drip onto his stomach and practically begging him to fill it up with his length
he’s a complete mess once you finally lower yourself onto his waiting thickness, pussy stretching out slowly and coaxing a string of curses from the breathless boy beneath you - his attempts to be quiet thrown out the window once you convulse around him, delberiatly rocking your hips down against him
in summary, you’re now banned from having sex in the dorm after jisung woke up and screamed once he saw jeongin fucking you into the mattress after your teasing got the better of him
he’s always too insecure and hesitant to ask you to suck him off, usually just stuttering over his words and fidgeting with his sleeves, avoiding your prying stare at all costs
but once you slowly lower yourself to your knees and have your tongue greedily lap up the pre-cum oozing out of his twitching head after picking up his hints, he’s convinced he can see stars
his legs will tremble and sweat will gather above his brow once you eagerly suck on his tip, taking him inch-by-inch into your mouth
he won’t know what to do with his hands, settling with cupping your face gently as you took your tongue took its time moving around him
the soft graze of your teeth along the soft flesh makes him weak, hips follow the movement of your mouth and nudging the back of your throat with each rut
almost collapses when you swallow his cum eagerly, thumb reaching down to catch the messy drops that seeped past your lips
before softly gasping when you take it into your mouth, sucking around the digit greedily and cleaning off the sticky wetness he managed to catch
he becomes so needy and shy when you praise him
he just LOVES hearing your whispered praises as you worship his heated skin, tongue dragging across his neck before leaving a searing kiss against the flesh
his favourite time to have sex is the morning after you both just wake up
his lazy thrusts combined with the sloppy kisses you leave against his mouth makes him so soft
he’s a such a simp for you inside and outside of the bedroom <333
warnings: swearing, dirty talk, hot and heavy making-out, reader is a capital-B Brat, blood (chan’s got those gnarly-looking claw-marks on his back and chest), yes this was entirely inspired by that wolfgang performance
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
There’s something wrong with Chan.
You notice immediately, trying to stay discreet as you watch through the window at the boys as they wander out of the forest, stretching limbs, ruffling dishevelled hair.
You’re still getting used to the whole werewolf thing.
It had only been a few months ago that you had returned from a semester abroad to find that your life-long best friend, Felix, had been bitten by some sketchy creep at a beach bonfire.
There’s no…lingering guilt about not being there. Or anything.
But Chan isn’t. That’s what you’re so focused on right now.
His expression is guarded, shoulders tense as he walks just a few steps behind the rest of the group. You watch Felix hang back a second, talking to him, saying something you can’t hear through the window. You see Chan shake his head, patting him on the shoulder, and when Felix says something else, he moves his hand to the back of Felix’s head, scratching it affectionately.
You know objectively that Chan taking in Felix was one of the best things to happen for him. From the little you’ve gleaned about werewolves, you know that packs work like a support network. A new family. It’s good for him.
It just…chafes a little that you’re not a part of it. It feels unfair that the only way to regain that position you once held in Felix’s life would be to get bitten too, suffer through the painful transition, disconnect from society, spend days and weeks and months of your life as a mindless animal ready to attack and maul any living thing in sight–
You catch it. Just barely.
You don’t think anyone else has noticed. You think you only caught it because Chan hasn’t noticed you looking.
Hasn’t noticed you.
You were surprised when Chan approached you a few weeks ago with a proposition. It was a simple enough request – staying at their cabin while the full moon happened, house-sitting while they spent the better part of three days doing their wolf stuff. You could catch up on your schoolwork, spend a few days alone to collect your thoughts.
It was nice. Quiet. Maybe a little lonely. But still nice.
You just didn’t see why you were needed. And Chan didn’t really do much to make you feel wanted either.
The other boys like you, you think. Felix obviously adores you, and the others joke around with you and share smiles and try to give you teasing little compliments when they think they can break you down, make you blush. It hasn’t worked so far, but it’s cute that they’re trying.
But Chan’s different. So warm to his boys, so committed to the role as pack leader – but there’s something off in the way he acts with you. Being a wolf, being a leader, is so intrinsic to his being and it’s all meaningless to you. He has no authority over you. He has nothing in common with you.
And he’s intimidating as fuck.
The first of the group finally make it to the door, filing in as they laugh raucously about some inside joke Felix might catch you up on later.
“Is there anything to eat?” Jisung asks, eyes alight.
You scowl. “Why are you asking me? You think I waited around all weekend, cooking you guys dinner?”
You had made it clear from day one that you weren’t going to be some house mother to these guys, some kind of Wendy to their Lost Boys. You had your own life, and you were doing them a favour just by agreeing to stay in such an isolated cabin, miles away from the rest of civilisation.
But as Jisung’s face slowly turns guilty, his gaze shifting to the floor as he is undoubtedly recalling this same conversation, you can’t help but sigh. “…I tried following Felix’s cookie recipe yesterday. There’s some left in the fridge.”
Jisung’s face lights up, and you try hard to keep your expression neutral when he leans in and kisses your cheek. “Cute.”
You shove him away, scowl firmly back in place. “Only the burned ones are left. Fucking help yourself, asshole.”
Jisung just laughs, already heading for the fridge.
Hyunjin, who had followed right behind him, gives you a smile as he takes a seat at the kitchen counter, attempting to tease out a stray twig knotted in his hair. “Thanks for staying.”
You shrug. “Eh. I got some quiet time. Managed to finish outlining my dissertation. It wasn’t the worst weekend, I guess.”
Seungmin is the next to wander through, and you notice the rips in his shirt, the way his right sleeve hangs off his arm in tatters. Felix has informed you of the perils of clothing as a werewolf, how easily things can rip and snag when you don’t quite have the transformation under control yet. It’s hard to undress when you’re literally in the middle of turning in to a big scary man-sized wolf, you suppose.
Jeongin’s shirt is open, every single button apparently a casualty of transforming, seams along his sleeves and sides burst. He passes you by with a sheepish grin, hair mussed, shoulders straightened out just a touch at the sight of you.
Felix throws his arms around you as soon as he walks through the door, shouting his greeting in your ear. He’s practically vibrating, still on the high of adrenaline from whatever wolfy things he did this weekend. Chased deer? Howled at the moon, maybe?
“-so cool, he just pounced on this bear, you wouldn’t believe it. Our Jeonginnie’s getting so strong!”
You close your eyes, burrowing your face in Felix’s shoulder for a second as he recounts the weekend’s escapades in breathless excitement.
Definitely lonely, you think. This weekend has definitely felt lonely.
When you open your eyes, you catch sight of a pair of thick black boots, marching past you. By the time you glance up, you only catch the barest glimpse of Chan’s back retreating from you as he heads up the stairs in silence.
“What’s up with Chan?” You ask, blinking.
“Huh?” Felix pulls away from you to turn, following your gaze to the now-empty staircase. “Uh, nothing much. He always gets kind of quiet after we transform back. It’s kind of intense, especially for him. He’ll be fine.”
You think back to that limp, the way Chan’s body had faltered when he thought no one was looking.
These boys are tough. You know that they’re strong, resilient and heal supernaturally fast. You’ve maybe seen them hurt once or twice, with bruises or scrapes that heal up in about an hour.
You have never seen Chan, the great and fearless pack leader, hurt – and you have definitely never seen him limping like that.
It piques your curiosity.
“Just give me a sec,” you murmur, squeezing Felix’s arm. You turn to the rest of the room, barely sparing a glance at the way Changbin opened the snack cupboard with so much force that he almost ripped the handle clean off. “You guys eat. Maybe wash up a little. I don’t wanna use the phrase ‘wet dog’ but–”
Minho flashes you a grin, and throws up one long, delicate middle finger in your direction.
You purse your lips, blowing him a kiss, before turning on your heel and heading up the stairs after Chan.
His room is at the very end of the hallway. You pass by the bathroom on the way to it, and in a moment of inspiration, you quickly stop there to grab the first-aid kit you kept stocked under the sink.
Chan’s bedroom door is, of course, firmly shut when you arrive. You knock, gently at first, at least making the attempt at politeness. When he doesn’t answer, you try again even harder.
You resort to pounding your fist against the door. “Chan?”
“…Not now,” finally came the response, the irritation in his tone clear even through the muffling of the wood.
“Not in the fucking mood.”
You blink at his terse response, before scoffing. Rude.
“Channie,” you sing-song, unable to resist winding him up just a little. “Channie, are you in there?”
“Leave me alone.”
You actually take a step back, staring in shock at the door.
You’ve only heard Chan use that voice on a handful of occasions before. Felix described it as Chan’s ‘alpha voice’ (even after you tried to explain to him that the concept of alpha wolves had already been disproven in science decades ago, “just ask David Mech–”) reserved only for the most serious of situations.
It was something only leaders had, a tone of voice that could bend the will of his pack members, force them to obey whatever he commanded.
Of course, with you not being a werewolf, that ‘alpha voice’ did jack-fucking-shit.
“Oh, scary. Chan’s all grumpy today,” you drawl, stepping forwards again. “I’m not leaving until you let me in, asshole. Now open the fucking door.”
There’s a pause. A long pause.
And then a sigh.
You’re already smirking when the lock turns, and the door slowly swings open to reveal Chan’s thunderous expression. “What do you want?”
“The pleasure of your company,” you retort, already trying to muscle your way in through the gap in the door.
Your shoulder makes contact with his side, shoving against it, and you jolt in shock when Chan reels back, wincing as his hands immediately flew to his ribs.
Something was wrong.
You shut the door behind you, expression softening as you take in the sight of him.
His white shirt is streaked with dirt and grass stains, possibly salvageable with a long hot wash, nothing out of the ordinary. There’s a bright sheen of sweat covering his skin, clinging to the hair at his temples. His jaw is clenched, his nose flaring as he tries to breathe deeply. His whole body is tensed up.
He’s in pain.
You falter, unsure exactly how to deal with this situation now that you had forced your way into it.
Chan makes a face, turning away from you as he straightens up, pulling his hands away from his side. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing. Leave it.”
Chan closes his eyes, letting out another long sigh through his nose. “Has anyone ever told you how irritating you are?”
“Frequently. It’s one of my charms. What happened?”
His eyes open, and he fixes you with one long, appraising stare. “…You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“The boy catches on fast,” you comment. “What was it? Felix said something about a bear–”
Chan actually chuckles at that – well, you can almost call it a chuckle. A sharp exhale of air that sounds amused as Chan rolls his eyes. “No, it wasn’t the bear,” he says, like it’s obvious.
“So, what was it?”
He falls silent again.
You frown, eyes narrowing at his stubbornness.
Well, two can play at that game.
You turn away from him, wandering over to his neatly made bed and dropping your rear onto it with a graceless thud. You sit there on the edge, legs crossed. You raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
The message is clear – you’re not leaving until you get answers.
Chan’s expression is unreadable as he eyes your new position. “…Get off my bed.”
You smile, and lean back, planting your hands into the soft sheets behind you. “Maybe if you tell me what’s wrong.”
He just stares at you, eyes burning.
You decide to change tactics. Voice softening, you tilt your head as you look up at him. “This is…this is how I show concern. OK? I’m concerned.”
Your words draw out the slightest hint of softness in Chan’s eyes, and you know immediately. Got him.
He swallows, and with a final sigh, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Jeongin…he’s getting strong. Maybe too strong. I was trying to help him transform back, and he…caught me.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, your eyes widening in shock.
He quickly clarifies himself. “By accident, obviously.”
“And the others…haven’t noticed?”
Chan shrugs, then immediately hisses at the pain of it, tensing again for a few moments until he manages to regain his composure. “…They noticed. I just told them I was fine.”
“Of course you did.”
Chan has a talent in persuading people. He’s got this raw charisma about him, the kind that could make you believe anything he wanted if he gave you enough attention, said just the right things.
“How bad is it?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“That’s nice. How bad is it?”
Your tone is sharp, sickeningly sweet. There’s something in you that takes a grim kind of pleasure in condescending to Chan, that enjoys disrespecting him when so many of his pack members seems to worship the ground he walks on.
It’s also the precise way to really push his buttons – which, of course, is a big part of the fun.
Instantly, his expression hardens, and his eyes are back to that burning kind of fury as he glares across the room at you.
Then, he finally notices the first-aid kit in your hand, and he changes.
The corners of his lips turn up, twisting into a smirk. He raises his chin, one eyebrow arching at the sight of you. It’s a smug, quietly dangerous look from Chan that you’ve never seen before. One that sets your nerves on edge, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.
“Why?” Chan asks, and his hand drifts up to undo his top button. “Are you here to play nurse?”
His tone is mocking, pointed – a perfect reflection of your own.
His hand travels down to the second button.
He’s trying to intimidate you, scare you into submission, send you running out the door.
You grip the kit even tighter in your hand, and watch as he undoes that button too.
“Oh, no. Not skin, Channie,” you remark, voice just a touch too strained for your liking. “Anything but that.”
He ignores you, moving onto the third and then the fourth, shirt gaping open to reveal more and more of his torso as his hands travelled.
This is starting to venture into unfamiliar territory.
But you hold your ground regardless, watching as more and more of his body became exposed.
It’s…it’s a nice body. Lean. Defined. Chan clearly takes care of himself. Works out.
You’re unable to resist following the lines of an emerging six-pack, fading and sharpening with each of his breaths.
You swallow. “…Chan, if you’re just trying to show off–”
He slips the shirt off entirely, and your words catch in your throat.
He’s so broad. It’s one thing to see him under clothes, but it’s entirely different to see him stripped so bare, to see the meat of his shoulders and biceps, to see just how big he is.
And normally, your attention would be all over that.
But it’s not.
Because your gaze is caught on the marks on his chest, some still bleeding, some turned shiny and pink as Chan heals himself.
You rise up from the bed immediately, almost jumping to your feet, at the sight.
Chan pauses for just a fraction of a second at your sudden movement. “Wh–”
“Get on the bed,” you order him, no trace of humour in your tone. It is all business, all urgency.
Chan blinks at your words, mouth opening to respond.
“Now,” you snap, looking him over again. “They need to get cleaned out before they heal over, genius. Get on the bed.”
It takes a second for your words to sink in, and his expression shifts when he finally grasps what you’re trying to tell him.
And then, Chan makes the very smart decision to do what you say, brushing past you as he walks towards his own bed and slowly sits down with a wince. “…Go on, then.”
You nod, making your way back to the bed and climbing up onto the mattress, crawling around Chan to check out the damage to his back.
You’re faced with scores of angry claw-marks, cuts still oozing blood as they decorate his shoulders, his ribs, even the small of his back.
“What the fuck, Chan?” You hiss under your breath, fingers fumbling with the zip of the first-aid kit as you scramble to open it.
“Is it bad?” He asks, his voice so fucking casual.
You can’t even form a response, thoughts too tangled up in the state of his back. You dig for the antiseptic wipes, not exactly ideal for the situation but probably the best thing you had for cleaning these wounds.
“This is going to sting,” you warn, barely giving Chan time to brace himself before you press the wipe to the first of the cuts.
He grunts at the pain, teeth gritted as he tries to bite back any more sound. Of course he’s trying to tough this out.
You’re silent as you try to fix up the worst of his cuts, making do with what you have. The best thing would be to get him under running water – less of a chance of damaging the skin that way.
But considering you had enough of a time just convincing him to let you help him, you doubt you’d be able to persuade him to leave the safety of his bedroom and chance an encounter with his packmates on the way to the bathroom.
So, antiseptic wipes it is.
You finish off the back, applying appropriate dressing to the worst of the cuts. The muscles of his back still tense under your touch, twitching under your fingers. As your panic slowly eases with each treated wound, it’s getting harder and harder not to notice the way he’s built, the grooves and dips of each muscle.
You swallow at the sight. It’s a…it’s a strong back, you suppose.
Gently, very gently, you run your fingers across the planes of his back, paying close attention to the way it shifts underneath. “Any…like, muscle pain? Tightness? Aches?”
“…No. Honestly, it doesn’t even hurt much now. I’ll be fine in, like, an hour.”
You nod, moving your hand away. You’ve seen the effects of wolf healing first-hand. “OK. I’m…I’ll do your front now.”
Chan pauses, before shifting backwards by just a few inches. You shuffle on your knees to his side, watching as he finally settles, before turning his face to meet your gaze. He holds it, very carefully, before slowly leaning back, expression neutral.
Leaving more than enough room for you on his lap.
This feels like another test, you think to yourself, as you eye him with suspicion. Another power-play, meant to throw you off.
You think Chan doesn’t like it when he’s not in control. He’s not used to it.
“What?” Chan says, breaking you out of your trance. “You said you’d do my front. Don’t you need to hurry, before they close up?”
There’s a layer to his tone, the barest hint of challenge, and it has you straightening up in seconds, ready to face him head-on.
Fine. If he really thought he could break you like this, he had another thing coming.
With all the grace and self-assurance you could muster, you crawl back over to him, swinging one leg over him to plant both knees either side of his hips, straddling him without even batting an eye.
“Stay still,” you demand, gripping his shoulder with one hand as you shift your weight around, trying to get comfortable as you hover just a few inches above his lap.
Chan is silent, and somehow that’s even worse than when he was trying to provoke you earlier. You can feel his breath ghost against your ear, hear the tiniest little noises he made whenever you reached a new wound.
And fuck, his chest. His shoulders. His abs. Everything. Just…there’s a lot to take in. If you’re not careful, you’re going to get distracted.
Swallowing, you dab at one of the shallow cuts near his collarbone and finally speak up. “I guess I should say thanks for letting me stay here this weekend. I managed to get a shit-load of essay-reading done.”
Chan hums, and you feel the vibrations under your fingertips. “Good. Thanks for looking after the cabin while we were gone.”
“I still don’t think it was necessary,” you can’t help but add, trying to keep your tone light. “I didn’t really do much.”
“…Felix is always talking about wanting to spend more time with you,” Chan comments, and you pause at his words. “And you get on well with the others. You’re a good influence. Having you here seemed…like a smart idea at the time.”
“Seemed like? At the time?” You repeat, picking up on the subtle implications of his words. “Are you saying it wasn’t smart?”
“There are always risks,” Chan states, non-committal, eyes flickering to look at you. Naturally, your faces are incredibly close in this position – no more than a few inches apart. “Complications.”
“We always have to stay careful around you, especially around a full moon. You’re more fragile than we are.”
“That’s me,” you retort, sarcasm dripping from your every word. You bring your hand up to his chest to steady yourself as you move on to the next scratch. His skin is warm under your fingertips, smooth. “Delicate little flower that I am. Gotta handle me gently, or I’ll break.”
Chan hesitates before he answers, and when the words do come out, they’re very carefully spoken. “…I don’t know. Maybe you could take a little more.”
“No shit,” you say absently, finishing up the last of his cuts by his shoulder. All pretty superficial, guaranteed to heal in the next hour. “I’m tougher than I look, Channie. I can take a lot.”
Chan doesn’t respond, and when you glance up, you see that his eyes have fluttered shut. He’s taking slow, deep breaths – like he’s meditating, or about to fall asleep.
There’s the tiniest of scratches on his cheekbone.
Gently, very gently, you lift one hand to rest against his face – and his eyes snap open in panic to stare at you.
“You got a thing,” you manage to blurt out, pointing towards the scratch. “There. Just gonna…yeah, clean it. You don’t want something getting infected on your face.”
Honestly, a cut that small is probably not going to get infected – especially with how quickly Chan can heal.
You’re a completionist.
Chan stares at you, and for a brief moment, panic starts to take hold in your gut. Have you gone too far?
But instead, he just says. “You’re not usually this…nice.”
“You’d be amazed how nice I can be when you don’t avoid my very reasonable questions.”
“You mean, when you get your own way?”
Chan laughs, eyes still fixed on you. “You’re a bit of a brat, aren’t you?”
He probably just means it innocently, but the way he says ‘brat’, the tone of his voice…
You take a deep breath, fighting back the flush that threatens to creep into your face. “Sometimes. It’s another one of those charms I was talking about.”
Chan doesn’t have a response to that. Maybe he wasn’t expecting you to agree.
You shift again, as your attention turns to the next set of scratches, and by sheer accident, your fingertips catch his nipple. You feel him tense under you, breath escaping him in one sharp exhale, and he hisses. “Careful.”
“Sorry,” you mumble, but you can’t help but examine this new piece of information about Chan with amusement. Sensitive nips. How unexpectedly…cute. “You OK?”
“Mm-hm. Just finish this up quickly,” he says, and there’s an edge of urgency in his tone, a desire to really see you end this as soon as possible.
It sounds foolish, but it’s really only then that you realise just how compromising this position is. Like, objectively, you had known the whole time that you had been straddling Chan – but it had still felt like a game, a competition, a statement.
The idea that he just wanted this over with should feel like victory, but you find yourself a little caught off-guard.
You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t think through your next action. You’re so focused on reaching for that last wound snaking around his rib, just a touch too low for you to reach with your legs in their current position. You just need to lower them, then you can reach, then you can finish. Easy.
That’s why you don’t think twice before you lower yourself onto his lap completely, completely intent on just cleaning the cut and moving on.
And then you feel it.
Something in his lap, not quite pressing up into you, but certainly there. Interested. Insistent.
Chan is getting hard.
Your eyes snap up to meet his, watching as he swallows, struggling to hide the new flush in his face.
“It happens sometimes, after a transformation. Body’s still trying to recover, hormones are all over the place. Ignore it.”
“…OK,” you nod, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s right, it does make some kind of logical sense that his body is still all out of whack from changing. Physiological reactions happen. Dudes pop boners for literally no reason sometimes. It’s fine.
Of course, you’d been around Felix several times after his transformations, ready with water and clean clothes and some good old-fashioned moral support. And never once had this happened.
You can’t help but comment on it – which maybe spoke volumes for your own self-preservation instincts. “I mean, it definitely can’t be the cute girl in your lap or anything.”
Chan stills at your words, and his response is definitely evasive. “…You’re calling yourself cute now, huh?”
“You say it like it’s not the objective truth,” you respond, gently dabbing at that deceptively deep cut on his ribs. He tenses with the pain, and in your new position, you can feel the way his thighs squeeze and harden, the way his breath cuts short. You swallow, feeling a little warm. “I’m decently attractive. I’m very aware of this. It seems you’re aware of it too.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
You smile sweetly at the man under you, the picture of innocence. “Channie, your dick is literally poking me in the leg.”
To your surprise, he flushes at your words, quickly averting his gaze as he tried to keep his expression under control. “…It’s a wolf thing, not a you thing.”
You’re not so sure about that.
You don’t know what to do with this new knowledge. Chan – big, scary, pack leader Chan – finds you attractive. It fills you with a sense of…power. You have to fight to keep the smirk off your face, but there’s no mistaking the smugness growing inside of you with every passing second. “For a wolf thing, you’re very flustered.”
“Maybe it’s because you keep talking about my dick,” Chan mutters.
“You want me to stop?” You ask, only half-teasing. You’re not here to push any limits, make anyone feel uncomfortable.
And again, Chan’s response is evasive. “Are you actually capable of stopping?”
Testing a theory, your hand returns to the cut on his side, and carefully, you press down.
Chan makes the tiniest pained groan, hand flying up to grab at your hip, squeezing. The sudden contact is enough to jar you slightly, pushing you forward along the slowly growing bulge in Chan’s pants. His grip on your hip tightens.
“You did that on purpose,” Chan hisses through his teeth.
“Keeping pressure on that deep of a wound is important,” you say, shrugging. “I’m sure you can handle it, big guy.”
He growls – a low, rumbling sound from deep in his chest – and you roll your eyes.
You expect Chan to respond immediately, but he doesn’t. He’s quiet – no, he’s silent. His eyes stay fixed on you, and you’re starting to find the attention a little…much.
“You’ve never been scared of us,” Chan finally notes. “Have you?”
You blink. “Not particularly, no.”
And you really haven’t. As much as you’re aware of the danger they pose, the strength they possessed – hell, just look at the marks Jeongin left on Chan, by accident – you still found it difficult to summon any kind of real fear of them. They were just…dorky young men. Loud. Funny, in their own bizarre ways.
“I trust you,” you add, quietly.
Chan stares back at you, eyes widening just slightly.
You tilt your head. “You seem surprised.”
“I just…didn’t think you liked me very much.”
“…You’re OK, I guess.”
Chan raises an eyebrow at you.
“What you’ve done for Felix…you know, makes up for your personality.”
You’re being a little meaner than usual – probably to compensate for the growing warmth in the pit of your stomach every time you looked too long at Chan’s naked torso, or thought too hard about what you could feel beneath you.
Chan doesn’t seem to even notice.
Instead, he suddenly tilts his head, eyeing you very intently. His eyes narrow slightly.
“What?” You ask.
“You said you’re not scared?” Chan says, suddenly serious. Intent on something.
You’re somewhat wary when you reply. “Yeah. Of course I’m not.”
You jump, because suddenly Chan’s other hand slides around your neck. Not in a choking position – there’s no pressure at all, his palm is only covering the side of your neck, and his thumb is resting just under the corner of your jaw instead of anywhere near your windpipe.
It’s unexpected enough to render you completely silent for a moment, blinking at him in confusion.
And then you see the corners of his mouth turn up in that familiar smirk, and you feel the pad of his thumb press just a little more firmly into your skin.
“Thought I heard something,” Chan muses, vaguely, and it takes you a few seconds to realise…
His hand. His thumb.
He’s checking your pulse.
…Oh, stupid fucking wolf senses. Of course he could hear how hard your heart was beating – the one tell you couldn’t control.
It feels a little unfair, honestly.
He knows he has the upper hand now, and his entire body language changes with this information. He’s relaxed, open, ten times more confident as he watches you with that teasing smirk. “So, if you’re not scared, why–”
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap, fuming that he’s managed to one-up you with this stupid little supernatural advantage he has.
“I don’t think I will.”
The hand on your hip shifts just slightly, and his thumb presses into the dip of your hipbone, rubbing slow circles into the soft flesh there.
It’s irritatingly effective. You find your own thighs starting to twitch, core clenching.
Chan hums again, this time in amusement, and continues this movement. His other hand drops from your neck to rest on your other hip. It’s a strange balance – there’s no pressure there, his touch is so light but it’s almost…possessive.
The two of you are starting to drift a little close to the edge of something.
Chan is now unmistakeably hard, and you can feel him pressing up into your inner thigh – just a few inches off from your core. It’s taking a lot of willpower to stop yourself from shifting slightly over and getting that pressure right where you needed it. You’re glad you wore jeans today instead of a skirt – there would be no hiding the effect he was having on you without the extra layer of denim separating you from his lap.
“It seems like you’re done with that,” Chan notes, nodding his head towards the first-aid kit by your side, which has sat untouched for a while now.
You look down at it. “…Yeah, I’m finished. You’re all set.”
Despite your words, you make no attempt to leave his lap.
Chan notices, and his grip tightens around you. Not pulling you down onto him, but just…holding. Tightly.
There’s a moment of silence that settles between the two of you. You’re fixated on each other, like two opponents in a game of chess, regarding the other’s every move.
Being the first to give in almost seems like a defeat, an admission of weakness. But if you’re going to go down, you’re going to go down swinging.
Your hand snakes up into his hair, tangling itself in the roots and tugging his head up to meet yours when your lips come crashing down on his.
Chan groans into you, and that’s when he finally relents, squeezing your hips with his hands as he grinds you down onto him. The friction is enough to make you whimper, the embarrassing sound muffled but still painfully audible.
When you finally pull away for breath, Chan is already attacking your throat with kisses, insatiable. You imagine he’s this close to openly rutting up against you – and it’s that desperation that soothes your ego, allowing you to believe you’re saving face here. Does it really count as a defeat when Chan is so clearly the more eager one?
You barely get the chance to savour this thought, before one of Chan’s hands leaves your hip to slowly slide under your shirt, taking his time. He reaches your bra, and you feel him stroke the lacy edge of the cup.
You pause, still shivering with delight as Chan’s mouth finds the sensitive spot just under your ear, and gently mouths at it. “Chan–”
“Just let me know if you want to stop, baby,” Chan murmurs in your ear, breathy. His hand is still on the cup itself, and he makes no attempt to slip his hand underneath just yet.
“Of course I fucking will,” you bite back. It’s like a switch flipped in Chan the second you kissed him – suddenly so intent on taking control, on treating you like something delicate. Where’s the Chan from five minutes ago who wrapped his hand around your neck to prove a point, and argued with you over how his scratches needed treating?
It’s clearly time for you to flip that switch back.
Grabbing his chin firmly, you lifted his face back to yours to initiate another kiss. The hand on his chin slid up to cup his jaw, and you allowed him a few seconds to enjoy himself before you plucked up the courage to execute the first step of your plan.
You let your lips part under the pressure of his, and then suddenly nipped at his bottom lip, not quite drawing blood but certainly adding some pain to his pleasure.
Chan jolts back in shock, eyes blown ride as he reaches up and touches his bottom lip.
“Like I said,” you remind him, resettling your weight across Chan’s hips, ignoring the way he sucks in a breath when your movement sparks another delicious wave of friction. “Tougher than I look. Don’t start being gentle with me now.”
You accompany your words with a roll of your hips, dragging yourself across the front of his pants and this time Chan grips you hard enough to bruise.
You suppress a grin, and instead pat him on the shoulder, condescending. “I mean, unless you can’t handle it–”
Chan cuts you off, crushing his lips to yours, and the hand still on your hip slides around to slip down your jeans and grab at your ass-cheek. An embarrassing squeak escapes your lips, which only makes him even more smug when he murmurs. “Such a fucking brat.”
“Brat? What happened to ‘baby’?”
“Maybe if you start behaving again.”
You get a particularly strong urge to pout, but you figure that would only prove him right, so instead you do the next best thing.
You run one hand down his front, careful to avoid any lingering injuries, and find the button to his jeans. You manage to pop it open with one hand – a surprising display of dexterity, and you’re a little miffed that Chan isn’t suitably impressed – and you only fumble a little with the zipper as you tug it down.
You’re interrupted momentarily when Chan finally decides it’s time to slide his hand under your bra cup, and you bite down a whimper when the rough pad of his thumb brushes over your nipple.
Chan catches on, and focuses all of his attention on teasing that area, again and again. It’s a little embarrassing, how many sounds as he can draw out of you with just one fucking hand on your breast, but at this point, it’s getting a little too difficult to care.
You close your eyes, letting your head dip forward to rest against his, losing yourself in the feeling for just a little while.
You don’t notice that your hand has fallen completely away from his zipper, instead moving to grab at his thigh.
But, of course, Chan does. “Hm? Weren’t you trying to do something there?”
You open your eyes.
It’s probably a bit of a dirty tactic, but you can’t help yourself.
You drop your gaze, taking in a breath before biting your bottom lip. “I…uh…”
Chan blinks at this sudden change in your body language, and pauses. He doesn’t quite withdraw his hand from your breast fully, but his fingers start stroking patterns into your side. “You OK?”
“I’m fine, I’m good,” you make sure to clarify with him, before swallowing. “I’m just…a little worried.”
Already, Chan is settling back into his ‘leader’ role, preparing himself to reassure, to comfort. “What are you worried about?”
You try to keep a straight face. You fail miserably.
“You’ve been hard for so long, I’m worried you’re gonna cum in your pants the second your dick gets touched.”
You finally chance a look up at his face, lips pressing together as you try to contain your smirk.
And there it is, that fire in his eyes.
You definitely don’t have to worry about him going gentle with you now.
In the blink of an eye, Chan flips the two of you. Your back hits the mattress with a thud, and you barely have time to readjust before he’s got both hands on your hips again. Only this time, he’s lifting your ass up off of the bed, legs in the air, and in one smooth motion, pulls your jeans clean off.
Oh, that was hot.
That was…pretty fucking hot.
And now that your jeans are off, Chan has a clear view of just how much he’s been affecting you.
“Oh, baby,” he croons, sliding one hand up your inner thigh, coming to a rest at the edge of your soaked underwear. “Look at you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
He just laughs, and your breath catches when he leans in. His hand moves away, and you feel his lips replace it, planting a kiss just off to the side of where you need it most.
It’s truly a sight, seeing Chan – shirt off, pants unbuttoned, shoulders tensing as he holds himself up by his forearms – between your legs.
You’re not going to beg this man.
…But you might find it in you to ask politely.
Suddenly, to your horror, there’s a knock at his bedroom door.
Chan jolts up, sitting back on his knees, looking down at you with pure panic.
The same thought runs through both your minds.
Shit. You didn’t lock the door.
Changbin’s voice comes through, muffled. “Hey, dude? You in there?”
Chan launches himself at the door, pressing both hands to it before Changbin can even attempt to open it. “Just a second!”
He turns back to look at you, hair mussed, eyes wide with panic.
You’re pretty sure the same can be said for you.
After a moment of blind panic, Chan has the sense to do up his jeans. You see the way his jaw tightens, eyes squeezing shut for a second when he has to dig his hand into pants to shove his erection down one side. It doesn’t do that much to hide what’s going on – and you feel yourself twitch at the thought of how fucking big Chan seems to be down there – but it’s better than nothing.
With one last futile attempt at fixing his hair, Chan lets out one last deep breath, and cracks open the door. “Yeah?”
You know you’re out of sight in your current position – with how small that gap is in the door, Changbin only has a narrow view of the far wall – but you still tense. Your legs quickly snap together, but you don’t risk trying to reach for your jeans to put them back on.
You hear Changbin speak once again. “Have you seen…oh, well obviously, you have–”
“What?” Chan interrupts, and you fight the urge to face-palm at how panicked he sounds.
“It looks like she’s patched you up,” you hear Changbin say, his voice slow, careful. He’s definitely picked up on something. “Did she say anything about going out? She’s not in her room, and the guys want to make dinner as a big thank you thing.”
It is so like the guys to decide to do something so sweet for you at exactly the wrong time.
“Nope. Not seen her,” Chan lies, forcing a shrug.
There’s a pause. A long pause.
“…Do you still have those headphones I lent you on the car ride here?” Changbin asks, sounding ever so innocent.
Chan swallows, and makes the mistake of looking behind him at the desk in the corner of the room. You spot the headphones resting there. “Yeah?”
“Can I grab them?”
“…Uh, don’t worry about it. I-I’ll get them for you now.”
Another pause, and you hear Changbin make one single step towards the door. Chan tenses, and pulls the door closer towards him, blocking even more of the room from sight. This time you do face-palm, as quietly as you can.
You see Chan staring ahead at what you can only assume is a Changbin who is slowly putting the pieces together, and there’s a long moment of silence before Changbin finally speaks. “…You know what? I don’t need them right now. You can just give them back tomorrow.”
Whatever Changbin’s expression is, it’s enough to send a pink flush up Chan’s neck. You hear him retreat back down the hallway, and Chan immediately slams the bedroom door shut, reaching for the lock and turning it. He even tries the handle again, pulling, just to make sure.
And then, finally, he turns to give you the most sheepish of looks.
You stare back.
And then your eyes slide back down to his jeans, which are still looking just as extraordinarily tight as before. Looks like Changbin’s interruption did very little to kill the mood for him.
And honestly, as the panic fades but the adrenaline still lingers – and this new sense of taboo, of getting away with something – you find yourself realising the exact same thing.
Slowly, you open your legs again, keeping your gaze fixed on Chan as his eyes drop to follow your movements.
Your voice is sweet, honeyed, only a little bit teasing.
huge shoutout to @/popisdead for giving me an idea to put in the smut! you know what it is when you read it, l! 😌❤️
please don’t interact with this post if you are under the age of 18!
here we go again.
being the bang chan’s secretary meant that you had to accompany him to every event that required a plus one— public events, soirees, sales pitches, all the like. for the longest time, people have linked you to him and that wherever he went, you were expected to be there. it was almost like clockwork and here you were, beside him again, as he talked to mister seo changbin, the company’s vice chairman and chan’s right hand man. you relax your shoulders slightly.
don’t get it wrong, you loved being with chan and getting to see all the wonderful event venues around the country. people in chan’s level and caliber always threw the grandest of parties and though it was tiring just following your boss around, it was still better than staying at home and fixing chan’s schedule for the week. you also get to meet other high profile names in the industry and the company’s investors, most of which are also in the party tonight.
the party was thrown by the company to celebrate another successful sale made by none other than bang christopher chan. everyone who’s here is here to celebrate chan’s leadership and his success as the company’s youngest CEO. and, not to mention, as changbin lovingly put it just now, “his cockiness”. you giggle beside chan, smiling sheepishly when he gives you a playful glare.
when chang— mr. seo excuses himself to go grab another drink from one of the waiters roaming the hall, chan turns to you with a soft smile, his eyes content. “enjoying?” he asks as he gently swirls the wine glass in his hand.
“trying to,” you tease. you stand up straighter beside him, aware that people have eyes on you. it was one of the complaints you had about being next to chan. he was the center of attention everywhere and because you were beside him always, people tended to stare after they give chan a bow or even if they were gazing from afar. you always had to look presentable and though it came with the job, it gets tiring after a while. chan raises an eyebrow.
“nothing,” you smile. “just a little uncomfortable. that’s all.”
chan hums as he blinks. he surveys the hall before nodding. “if you want, you can go talk to some of the people here.”
chan barely allowed you to leave his side during public events. since you became a staple of his public appearances, seeing him alone always rose some eyebrows. so, why was tonight any different? you scrunch your eyebrows, swallowing as you tilt your head. the side of chan’s lip quirks up as his eyebrows mimic yours. it takes a second for chan to realize why.
“don’t worry about me,” chan laughs. “it’s a company event, so, i guess i can let you go for a bit.”
you look around the hall, frowning to yourself when you don’t spot any familiar faces. how were you supposed to interact with the businessmen in this party and wouldn’t it be weird if you just slid in the conversation? chan senses your hesitation, sucking his lips in as he gazes at the area.
“there’s, um,” chan moves in closer, tilting his glass toward the direction of a small group, “hwang hyunjin. do you remember him?”
of course, you do. chan sent you to the man’s office to confirm a sale a few months ago. you tripped in front of his desk and he only stared at you when you dusted yourself off. it wasn’t the most embarrassing moment in your life, but it was up there on the list. you huff softly.
chan hums once more as he glances at you. “you can talk to him or“—he tilts his glass to another group— “to the people in the office.” he takes a quick sip of his wine before grinning. “get the latest office gossip, like who’s dating who, you know? just all that fun stuff that i don’t get to know.”
office gossip? chan’s asking for juicy office gossip? you can’t blame him. out of all the people in the office, chan’s not the go-to person to talk about office drama. part of you feels bad, but then again, why would he care about one of the interns getting dumped if he’s too busy making sure the company doesn’t go under?
you fight the urge to giggle as you nod. chan catches the smile on your lips and he shakes his head, a soft ‘tsk’ leaving his lips.
“go on,” chan shoos playfully. “go socialize.” you give him a quick bow and before you could say anything else, mr. seo comes back, a full wine glass in his hand once more.
you step aside to look at the two groups chan pointed out. you could play it safe and go to the group you see around the office or you could shoot yourself in the foot and go to the group of millionaires.
you look behind as you feel chan’s eyes on you. once your eyes meet, he raises an eyebrow as he takes a sip of his wine. maybe you could impress him by going to the other group. the thought makes you turn away from him, feet moving in the direction of hwang hyunjin’s group.
you realize that this was a bad idea the moment the blonde-haired man spots you walking towards them. he raises his glass to greet you, head tilted to the side in curiosity and amusement. when you get nearer, the chatter in the group dies down and your mouth grows dry. their stare burns your skin and you can’t help but feel out of place.
“miss y/l/n,” hyunjin calls out, opening his arm out to invite you in the circle. “what brings you to our humble group?”
humble is not a word in this group’s vocabulary, that’s for sure. you smile at them as you inhale through your nose. this is a chance to mingle with the country’s richest and though you were nervous, it wouldn’t hurt to make a good impression, right? transactions in the future should be easier if you play your cards right. so, you part your lips and hum, “mr. bang wanted to get insider information and sent me over.”
the group laughs, almost rhythmically, like it’s been practiced before. nevertheless, the air grows lighter and beside you, hyunjin cracks a smile.
“that bastard. always one step ahead of us,” one of the men laughs. the other men join in and the conversation picks up where it left off— something about the trends in the market. not the most interesting of conversations, but you were already here. hyunjin keeps his eyes on you and he leans over to your side.
“thank goodness you didn’t trip this time around.” your cheeks flush red and you laugh the statement off as you shake your head. “i thought i’d have to relive it all over again.”
“it must have been a nightmare, mr. hwang,” you play along softly. hyunjin hums.
“a nightmare for you, a comedy for me.”
if this was bang chan, you would have shamelessly smacked him. the thought makes you realize how easy-going everything is when it came to your work relationship with chan. after all, the two of you have been working together for almost a decade. during that time, you’ve gotten to know chan in ways his right-hand man hasn’t and he’s gotten to know you in ways previous employers haven’t. the line between work and friendship has been blurred for a long time now, but none of you have complained.
“i’m happy my pain provided entertainment, mr. hwang,” you tease. hyunjin chuckles before finishing his glass of wine. behind you, you feel a set of eyes travel down your back. you ignore the feeling.
despite your lingering thoughts of chan, you couldn’t help but admire the man beside you. just like your boss, hwang hyunjin is one of the younger CEOs in the industry. he was younger than chan, but definitely carried himself in a manner that exuded superiority and grace, like he was on par with the men he’s standing with.
it seems to be the case because one of the businessmen in the group calls his attention, bringing him back to the conversation he was part of earlier. you frown when you see how loose his tie is around his neck.
someone’s secretary isn’t good with ties.
“not a good look,” you remember chan saying. like second nature, you reach over to grab hyunjin’s shoulder, gently turning him to face you. your hands find their way to the man’s tie, sliding the knot up to tighten it. when you look up, hyunjin’s eyes are on you and so are the eyes of the men around you.
the group grows silent and both of your breaths hitch. you’re frozen in your spot, blinking as you see hyunjin’s cheeks turn bright red. his eyes scan your face, panicked and confused. your hands on his tie start to shake and as you’re about to apologize, you feel a hand land on your lower back.
“i’m afraid i’d have to steal her for a bit, hyunjin,” you hear behind you. you bite your lower lip as you lean away from hyunjin, settling into the familiar hand. it takes a second for the blonde-haired man to recover, but he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck as he forces a smile.
“go ahead,” hyunjin chuckles shakily. “i’m not about to steal your secretary from you.”
“i’d like to see you try,” chan laughs and as if on cue, the others laugh with him. you give hyunjin an apologetic look when your eyes meet and he responds with a quick bow of his head like it was his fault. you put on your best fake laugh, your heart beating in your ears.
once the men stop laughing, the jokes thrown out earlier dissipate into thin air. and as much as you’d like to believe that these men were all friends, you were knowledgeable enough about the industry to say that this was all for show— the bows, the greetings, the jokes, the laughs, them coming to the party to “celebrate” chan’s success, all of it.
hyunjin’s the first to speak again, moving away from you and chan to close the circle and get away from the awkwardness that has formed between the three of you.
you feel chan remove his hand from your lower back and he uses it to grab your hand. “let’s dance.” chan whispers in your ear. you wet your lip as he leads you to the dance floor and the crowd parts to make way for the man of the hour and his plus one.
chan has always made you feel like you were the only woman in the room and he does it again tonight when he circles around you, his hand not letting go and his eyes never leaving yours. chan grins as he closes the gap between you and you hear your own breath stop. your eyes trail down to his lips when he wraps an arm around your waist.
your heartbeat rings in your ear once more when you and chan start swaying in time with the music. “i thought you didn’t want to dance tonight,” you whisper.
“it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun, you know.”
you rest your forehead on his shoulder as you scoff internally. bang chan, the man whose head is always filled with work, even during events like this, now wants to have fun and dance with his secretary?
you could laugh, but instead you let him lead you on the dance floor. you and he have never done this and you wonder if he feels as nervous as you are. but knowing him, he would never show it, at least not right now.
as the both of you settle in the feeling of each other’s warmth, he mumbles, “you feel it too?”
you shiver as you lean back from his shoulder. you wanted to ask what he meant. was he referring to the way your heart skips a beat when you catch him staring from his office window or when he throws you a soft smile when he walks by your desk? or was he talking about the way his hand lingers for way too long when you give him his coffee or the way his hand subtly reaches out for yours when it’s close to his?
you weren’t stupid. of course, you’ve felt it. everyone in the office has, except for bang chan himself.
maybe it’s not insanity after all. your colleagues aren’t talking out of their asses and there’s a chance, no matter how small it is, that bang chan felt it too. whatever it may be.
chan clicks his tongue when you don’t answer, his eyes scanning your face as you struggle to come up with a coherent thought. he breaks the eye contact before looking around the hall. “everyone’s watching.”
you feel a quick pang of pain in your chest. bang chan, the youngest CEO of his family’s company and the smartest out of all the men in here, is the most oblivious man you’ve ever come across. heat creeps up onto your cheeks and you mentally smack yourself in the head. you were crazy for even hoping that you were both on the same wavelength. it’s just not possible, no matter how much you romanticize the whole situation. you swallow as you nod, hanging your head gently as the both of you continue to sway.
“don’t be shy,” chan chuckles softly. “you’re doing great.”
“yeah, right,” you mumble, playing off the embarrassment and the pain bubbling in your chest. you see a flash of worry pass chan’s eyes, but he doesn’t say anything.
the dance floor slowly fills up with the other couples in the hall, taking the prying eyes off of the two of you. for now. you let out a shaky exhale as chan’s hand squeezes yours.
“you also did great with hyunjin’s tie.”
you raise your eyebrows in surprise, letting out a soft, but nervous giggle. “i have enough experience with yours, sir.” chan snorts before rolling his eyes playfully. he spins the both of you around, wading through the other couples as smoothly as he could manage.
“my ties are of better quality, miss y/l/n. you, of all people, would know.” chan chuckles before his eyes leave yours. he pulls you in closer to him, inhaling softly when you collide with him. what that was for, you don’t know, but you’re close enough to feel his breath on your skin. there must be something in the air.
or maybe he’s just drunk. who knows, really?
“right,” you tease after a few beats of silence, “your ties are imported and his are...?”
“probably imported too,” chan shrugs. “he has the money.”
you scrunch your nose, pulling back from his embrace. “you have to make up your mind. you either talk about him behind his back or you compliment him.” chan tilts his head as he shrugs again, eyes filled with amusement. “you can’t do both.”
“i can do both,” chan mumbles. “i just did it, yes?”
you feel a set of eyes on the both of you, but this time you couldn’t care less. chan, with his charm, wit, and annoying smile, has managed to calm your nerves yet again. it makes you wonder if there was ever a line between friendship and work with the two of you.
you’re taken back to reality as you and chan sway in a comfortable silence, letting the orchestra take you to a world only the two of you knew. you sigh as you turn your head and rest your cheek on his shoulder. you inhale the scent of his cologne, the one you’ve come to know and love after all these years.
“hey,” you hear chan say after a while. you raise your head to meet his eyes before raising an eyebrow. “don’t fix anyone else’s ties when we’re together, okay?”
“are you jealous?” you taunt as you try not to focus on the fact that bang chan’s lips are right there, plump, red, and lonely. chan scoffs, his arm around your waist tightening.
“should i be?”
you laugh, throwing your head back dramatically as chan twirls the both of you around. when he stops, your eyes meet again and he gives you another grin. “you sound like you are.” his grin disappears as quickly as it formed, turning into a small, playful snarl.
“do i? that’s interesting,” chan teases, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. “i just,” he breathes, “don’t appreciate you going around the place fixing every man’s tie in here.”
you giggle, lightly smacking chan’s shoulder. “i fixed one, chan,” you snicker. “i fixed one tie. one!”
“that’s one too many ties, sweetheart.” the nickname travels throughout your body. it’s something he’s never called you before. you blush once more, turning your head away from him as you pretend to look at the other couples dancing. chan hums in front of you, unwrapping his arm around you to instead plant his hand on your waist.
“i was just doing my job,” you mutter. chan licks his bottom lip before he responds. your breath stops when you catch him taking in your facial features, but within a second, his eyes travel back to yours.
“i don’t think ‘fixing hwang hyunjin’s tie’ was part of the contract you signed years ago.”
“but fixing your tie is?” you retort.
chan grins at how fast you respond, shrugging playfully before twirling you around. the couples beside you gasp and giggle, your cheeks heating up at the sudden motion and attention. when you return to chan, he’s chuckling as he wraps his arm around your waist again, pulling you into his torso once more.
“you signed up for that the moment you were hired,” chan mutters, lips painfully close to yours. you swallow as your body starts to grow hot from the lack of space between the two of you.
for a moment, the people around you disappear and you could only focus on the way chan’s breath comes in contact with your skin. when he notices your eyes on his lips, he grins as he continues. “that means you’re only fixing my tie.”
you bite your lip when he leans in to whisper, his arm lowering to a place that you weren’t used to, “and the last time i checked, we’re still in a party thrown for me. in my company. in my house.”
your eyes widen when he pulls away, putting a small space in between the two of you. his arm loosens around you and you can’t help but long for its warmth again. your cheeks are flushed red when you part your lips to say, “chan, i—“
“don’t apologize,” chan interrupts, tilting his head as his arm comes back up to its previous position. it’s as if the words that left his mouth earlier were nothing important, like it wouldn’t keep you up at night. “just do better next time.”
you were used to hearing those words from chan, being his secretary. you had to admit that you weren’t the best one for the job, almost always messing up the man’s schedule or just being plain absentminded while you’re sat on your office chair. you’ve lost track of how much you’ve put chan through, but it was always the same seven words he utters when he helps you clean up the mistakes. it’s a miracle you’re still his secretary, almost a decade after.
“as always,” you stutter softly, your breath betraying you when it hitches.
you see the couples on the dance floor dispersing and before you could move away from chan, he pulls you back into his chest to whisper, “let’s get out of here.” you raise an eyebrow.
“this early?” chan nods in response.
“in 10 minutes,” he turns the both of you to the direction of the back door, “i’ll be waiting for you over there.”
you blink at him as his words replay over and over in your mind. bang chan was the type to finish parties to the point that sometimes, you and he were the last people to leave the venue. but now, he wants to leave the party that was thrown specifically to celebrate him?
“this is new,” you choke out. chan chuckles as he steps away from you, hand still not letting go of yours. he brings the back of your hand to his lips and gives it a soft peck. his lips linger on your skin and when his eyes come up to meet yours, he smirks.
when you look at the obnoxiously large clock on the stage at the end of the room, you realize that the minutes have flown by before you even started counting them.
meeting chan’s eyes from across the room, you knew that it was time to leave. he puts his wine glass on the table beside him, giving one of the businessmen a pat on the back as he excuses himself. when he disappears into the crowd, you clasp your hands together as you wonder what he had planned for the remainder of the night.
your eyes fall on chan when you arrive. he’s resting his back on the wall behind him and his shoulders are slumped, a stark contrast from the way he looked inside earlier. his hands are inside his pockets and the top two buttons of his black formal polo are now unbuttoned. he’s looking at the floor as he waits, his foot tapping to the rhythm of the song being performed in the other room. the echo of your heels in the empty room grabs chan’s attention and he raises his head to meet your eyes, a smile on his lips.
“ready to go?” he asks.
“to where, exactly?” you hum, grabbing your phone from your dress pocket to give chan’s driver a quick text.
like the way your breath hitches, your movements halt when chan opens the back door for you. shouldn’t you be the one to open it for him and not the other way around? you motion forward with your hand and chan shakes his head.
“listen, i don’t know what you’re doing,” you start, “but i know you’re expecting something in return after this.” chan lets out an exhale through his nose as he smiles. “so, i think you should step out first.”
“maybe, i just want to do something for you this time,” chan shrugs. “have you ever thought of that?”
chan watches the way your cheeks heat up and before any of you could say anything else, you hear a honk outside. he’s the first to break the eye-contact, looking behind to wave at his driver. he turns his attention back to you with a cheeky grin on his lips.
“like i said, ladies first.”
you narrow your eyes toward him, but you step out nonetheless. behind you, you hear the door close and chan’s walking toward the car before you could blink. you follow after him, your heels clacking on the concrete. you overtake him as you near the car, your hand gripping the handle to open the door for him. his hand makes contact with yours, enveloping it as he does the same.
your eyes meet and it might have been because of the cold night air, but you see the color of bang chan’s cheeks turn into a light shade of red. you try to stop yourself from shivering when he grips your hand tighter to open the car door. your eyes don’t leave him as it opens and he motions for you to enter first.
you hesitate. wasn’t this your job?
“y/n,” you hear him call, “i insist.”
you sigh, but don’t say anything else when you slip your hand out of his grip, ducking as you get inside the backseat. chan follows soon after, closing the car door and greeting his driver as he relaxes his back on the seat behind him.
chan’s driver turns to him as he asks, “where to, sir?”
he answers, “take us home, please.”
and with that, chan presses the button to slide the partition close.
the words that left his mouth almost give you whiplash. it was such a simple sentence, but somehow, your brain couldn’t comprehend it. you open your mouth as you turn to give chan a look. he reciprocates as he cocks his head to the side, chest glistening underneath the streetlights.
“i apologize if that was a bit forward, but is it okay if i bring you to my place?” your boss hums, putting his arm on the curve of the backseat. “i figured we could work there instead of the office.”
you let his words settle into you the same way you lean back on the seat. your mind travels back to the calendar you prepared and submitted to him last sunday—a couple of meetings on monday and tuesday, a press conference on wednesday, and a celebratory party on thursday. and since everyone’s too hungover to function the next day, friday’s scheduled to be a lighter one, as requested by chan himself. you furrow your eyebrows, looking up at the ceiling to wonder, did you somehow forget the details you put on the schedule?
and not just details, but work? didn’t you and chan rush two days worth of tasks the previous nights so that the both of you can, as you quote him, “enjoy the party”? but, here you were, on the way to his house to work. again.
chan catches the look in your eyes. “it’s nothing heavy. i just need your help.”
“and why wasn’t this plotted in your official schedule?” you question, letting your eyes drift to his, an eyebrow raised.
chan’s eyes widen and he brings his forearm up to scratch the side of his head. “it’s...it’s really not that important to warrant a spot in my calendar.”
“but, important enough for you to ask for my help?”
the color on chan’s cheeks disappear and his smile drops the way his arm does to his side. he scoffs softly. “if it’s work related, of course.” he shakes his head. “you’re my secretary. a part of your job is to heed every call.”
“is this what i have to do since you opened the door for me earlier?”
“staying up all night with you again. working.”
chan rests his elbow on the window beside him. “that’s never been a problem for you, y/n,” he pauses. “why is it a problem now?”
you weren’t one to complain, but was it such a bad thing to long for a break? sure, the party takes place inside the company’s hall, but you didn’t have to be hunched over a desk, reading through paperwork to summarize and report or make him coffee to keep him awake. you weren’t required to do things for him—to work— because the both of you were there to have fun, mingle, and socialize with all of the other hot shots in the industry.
you were hoping, even just for one night, that you’d escape work responsibilities, that chan would have something fun planned for tonight.
but, maybe you expected for too much from bang christopher chan.
his dry laugh interrupts your thoughts. “unless you’d rather be with hwang hyunjin on that dance floor?”
“hwang hyun— are you kidding me?” you exclaim, eyes wide, as you turn to him. “you’re picking a fight because of hwang hyunjin? i can’t believe this.”
you huff as you cross your arms in front of your chest, looking away from chan to gaze out the window. the previous topic of the calendar is thrown out and it joins the blur of the buildings moving past the car. never in your life have you despised a three-letter word until now, when memories of tonight are slowly overpowered by the word tie.
you hear chan take a deep breath and you couldn’t help but wonder if the man is actually jealous. if so, you’d prefer he tell you, rather than going back and forth. but then again, you were perfectly fine sitting like this with him—silent and unmoving. it stays like this for a few good minutes, until, in the corner of your eye, you see chan’s knee start bouncing. if it weren’t for that, you wouldn’t—
“i don’t see the big deal,” you sigh exasperatedly. “it’s just a damn tie.” before your hands even fall to your lap, chan’s eyes are on you like they never left.
he turns his body to you, motioning with his hands as he frowns. “it’s not just a tie to me. do you know how close th—“
“so, you are jealous?” you ask, putting a hand on your forehead as your skin heats up. “you’re jealous because i fixed another man’s tie?”
he furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head, as he grips the curve of the backseat. “i—“
“chan, you’re not even wearing a tie tonight! what am i supposed to fix—oh my god!“
the air in the car grows heavy as you try and catch your breath. chan slowly lowers his head to gaze upon his exposed chest. the tips of his ears turn red and it quickly travels down to his cheeks and neck. he swallows as he rubs his nape, a sheepish grin replacing the frown he had on earlier.
it was moments like this that make you wonder if chan’s really the smartest man you know.
“you should be,” you say in disbelief. “god, chan, it’s not like i wanted to do it!” he raises his eyebrows, letting out a soft hum, as he nods at your words. you crinkle your nose as you continue. “it was an honest mistake that i”— you point to yourself—“wholeheartedly regret doing and before yo—“
“i just don’t like other men looking at you the same way i do,” chan cuts you off, volume higher than usual. “okay? that’s it.” your boss slices the air to, quite literally, cut the tension. “end of argument.”
absolutely not. not after what he just said.
chan shrugs as he turns away from you to rest his elbow on the window once more. your heart pounds in your chest as his words float around in your mind, attacking every single thought that had made its presence known. your mind becomes an empty void and when you come to your senses—one of them—your skin forms goosebumps.
and it’s not because of the ac in the car.
“help me understand what’s happening right now, chan.”
“y/n,” chan groans softly. “if only you saw the way hyunjin looked at you. his eye—“
“i tripped in front of him!”
“and that’s the charm of it all,” chan states as he turns to look at you. your eyes meet and your heart skips a beat. you blink at him and he sighs.
“you’re different from all of the other women in there. you’re a breath of fresh air.”
your shoulders relax, but your hands begin to sweat. your anger and frustration have now been replaced by confusion and the butterflies in your stomach, which have been reserved for the man in front of you, start flapping their wings as your cheeks heat up. you’re about to ask what he meant, but chan parts his lips and it shuts you up quickly.
“it’s hard to let our guards down. the industry’s full of competition, full of rivalry, so you have to have thick skin,” chan pauses to shrug. “the businessmen in that party don’t care about my success, nor do the media. they only care about what’s next for us, what’s next for the company, all that good stuff.” chan sighs, “you know what i mean.”
“because of that,” he clicks his tongue, “i can’t have friends, nor can i have relationships because i’m never sure why they’re with me.” chan laughs bitterly and you feel a bit of resentment seeping out as he continues. “is it about the money? the fame? corporate espionage? fuck if i know,” chan looks back out of the window. on his thigh, you see his fist clench.
it was at this moment that you knew that this was not bang christopher chan, but this was only chan beside you, the complex, but relaxed and soft-spoken man you were privileged enough to know and spend time with during late nights in the office. a side of him no one else saw, but for some reason, he was willing to share as you sat beside him on his office couch.
the silence that comes after is louder than anything you’ve heard at the party earlier. you decide to take the leap, reach out, and hold his hand.
“y/n,” he breathes out, stopping your hand. “you’re different, okay? you’re different because you’ve never made me feel that way.” chan runs a hand through his hair. “the men and women in the office tiptoe around me, like there’s eggshells or something,” chan hangs his head down as he taps his fingertips on his thigh. “but you, you barely ever do.”
your breath catches in your throat and you whimper, “chan—“
“i’m not finished,” chan jokes shakily, turning his body to you this time. “you’re not afraid to make mistakes when you’re around me, laugh at my jokes, or sometimes, you just sit there and listen to me ramble.” chan smiles to himself. “you tell me what’s on your mind, your opinions, your views and most of the time, that’s the highlight of my day, not”— he motions with his hands—“the sale i’ll be making in the afternoon or the press conference we’ve got planned.”
us, we. always the duo, you and chan were. but why does tonight feel different and why is the sparkle in his eyes more prominent than before? “hell,” chan rolls his eyes playfully, “you even answer back to me. not a lot of people get that privilege.” even if your eyebrows are furrowed, your lips part to let out a soft giggle.
“and it does infuriate me,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “but i’ll let you do it.” chan lets his eyes meet yours and you freeze.
“over and over again.”
you feel as if a strong wind blows in the car, knocking you back into the seat. you grip the side of your dress to keep your hand from shaking. chan’s stare burns your skin and you try your best not to melt into the car itself. he inhales, “whenever you talk back, it makes me feel human. it reminds me that”—he puts a hand over his chest—“i’m not perfect, that i make mistakes, and that i should let my pride down sometimes.”
“sometimes?” you interrupt. chan’s ears perk up when he hears you and he lets his shoulders relax, his eyes growing soft and a grin forming on his lips.
“yes, sometimes,” chan snickers. “but, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he sighs, “you make me feel human, not a business drone or ‘the most successful CEO of the year’.”
before you could respond or even make sense of the point, chan quickly adds, “and you probably made hyunjin feel the same way when you tripped. i remember you told me that he bursted out laughing as soon as you left his office.”
“yeah,” you deadpan. “thanks for that memory.” beside you, chan chuckles and the car slows down when the light turns red.
and with a small smile on his lips, your boss at the other end of the seat looks back out of the window. in the corner of your eye, you see chan’s hand on the middle of the seat. you’re almost tempted to take it into yours as your mind travels to the words he uttered only moments ago.
there’s a reason why he’s awarded as the country’s most successful CEO. chan, as lovingly labelled by the media, is the industry’s Wolf, a title that was given to him during his second year in the position. and though many have come close, like the blonde-haired man in the party earlier, chan has never been overthrown by any other. sharp and smart, bang chan has done more than his father ever could, bringing the company to the international stock market and to other heights that only the other CEOs could dream of.
but, all these achievements came at a price. it’s lonely at the top, as they’ve said, and with bang chan, you saw that very statement come to life. chan, because of his reputation and riches, has closed himself up to make sure his mind and his company stays ahead and clear. that, of course, meant that he had to solve his personal problems on his own.
because who would the man on top run to when there’s no one else with him?
however, with his words, you realize that, maybe, you were that person for him. the person he can laugh and joke around with. the person he can talk to freely, ramble to, and spend time with. the person that allows him to be himself, no judgements, no pressure.
though, you’ve always felt some sort of tension between the two of you, it was enough to know that chan saw you more than just his secretary. you’d rather have him that way, than nothing at all. you turn to him.
you’re about to thank him, but chan’s voice rings out in the car as the light outside turns green. “and apart from all of that, you’re gorgeous too.”
“excuse me?” you choke out, eyes widening. chan turns to you, an eyebrow raised as he exhales through his nose. a soft ‘what?’ leaves his lips. “did i have too much to drink tonight?” chan merely chuckles at the question.
“you didn’t have any,” he responds. you shake your head as you shift uncomfortably in your seat.
it couldn’t be possible. was this a dream? first, chan became slightly possessive and now he’s calling you gorgeous like it won’t affect you, like you’ll believe him. the world must be punishing you right now, but if you close your eyes, maybe you’ll wake up in your apartment like it’s groundhog day. as you try and shut the world off, chan calls out your name and it brings you back to the car.
“do you want me to repea—“
“no!” you exclaim, leaning over to grab chan’s forearm.
chan glances at your hand, then at your lips. it’s through this subtle action that you realize how close the two of you are. he blinks at you while his cheeks become coated with a nice shade of red, but he doesn’t pull his arm away. “well, you heard me,” he utters. “i apologize if i don’t say it enough or don’t say it at all.”
you’re about to lose your mind.
“but, um,” chan uses his free hand to scratch the back of his neck, “you really are beautiful. hwang hyunjin knows it, changbin knows it, the staff in the office know it, and i know it.” chan pauses as his eyes scan your face for any reaction, to which you respond only with your mouth slightly opening.
he huffs as he furrows his eyebrows, “i know it because i get to be with you everyday and i’d be stupid to deny it to myself any further.”
“and yes, it does bother me when men stare at you,” chan continues. your chest tightens and you couldn’t breathe, but it’s somehow the good kind, the kind that you don’t want to end, the kind that you could get used to.
“they see how much of a great woman you are, in the office and out of it. i’m glad they do, but at the same time,” chan pauses to remove his forearm from your grip. he wraps both of his hands around your wrists.
“you and i have been together for so long that i can’t see myself working with anybody new.” you blink. “what if they take you away? what if they offer you a higher salary or promise you more opportunities? or what if the—“
“chan,” you whisper, “just tell me what you want to say.” the man in front of you lets out a shaky breath and when he opens his mouth once more, a mess of incoherent words come out.
“just give it to me straight.” you plead. both of your eyes lock as his breath intertwines with yours.
you’ve only really lit one firework in your whole life.
how it goes is you strike a match to ignite a spark and while it travels down the incredibly long wick, it gives you ample time to run away and cower. the experience of running and waiting was thrilling, but what came after was underwhelming—the spark did not carry over to its destination.
but as chan presses his lips on yours, his hands tightening around your wrists to pull you in closer, you’re finally able to see the spark reach its destination after the 8 years of long, agonizing wait. the firework fires up into the sky, the black canvas being painted by a million different colors all at once. chan removes his hands around your wrists to cup your face.
now, you can say that you’ve lit two fireworks in your life.
compared to the absolute chaos happening inside of your body, the kiss is slow and gentle with chan’s lips, soft and plump, perfectly fitting into yours like a puzzle piece you never knew was missing. you tangle your hands into his hair to push him into you deeper and chan lets you, tilting his head to the side.
chan’s hand is the match that ignites another spark in your chest as it travels down to the side of your neck. your heart pounds louder when his hand settles on your skin, the heat from his fingertips combining with the heat that has formed on your neck.
you find yourself leaning back to the corner of your seat and before you could process it, chan’s on top of you. your skin forms goosebumps when his hand moves down to your waist. when you arch your back and push your torso onto his, you rip a soft groan from the back of his throat.
chan pushes himself off of you, his pupils dilated and his breath not being remotely enough for him.
“what was that for?” you whisper, your chest heaving. outside, you see his mansion come into view.
“you said to give it to you straight.”
but, fuck, you wanted more. you wanted curves, zigzags, waves, all of it. as long as chan’s lips are on yours again, you wanted it all.
truth be told, you’ve never set foot in chan’s house. you’ve only seen the mansion through the car window, but you knew, one way or the other, you’ll be able to see what lies inside. of course, you were his secretary. heed every call, right?
you just didn’t envision that it’d be in this way.
you don’t finish your sentence as you’re gently pushed back onto the front door once it closes. chan’s on you like the way he was in the car, but this time, he’s closer, the distance almost non-existent as he puts his hands on your waist. goosebumps arise from your skin as his lips find their way to your neck. you’ve always thought you were stronger than this, but you’re already gasping for air when he starts peppering kisses down your skin.
“chan,” you breathe. he comes up from the side of your neck with his eyebrow raised and a small grin on his lips. “i thought we had work to do.”
chan hums nonchalantly in response and he merely dives back in your neck, closing the space between the two of you like you weren’t close enough. you find yourself tilting your head to give him more access and chan, being the smart man he is, notices this immediately. he grunts softly and you shiver, his lips latching onto the sides he hasn’t taken in.
you bite your lip, but as much as you were enjoying the attention, especially after 8 years of longing, you and chan had to work. knowing him, he’d value work over this in a heartbeat. you try and push him off of you, but he only tightens his grip.
“chan,” you whine, “this can wai—“
“no,” he mutters as he pulls you into his torso, “it can’t.” he hovers his lips on yours, his hot breath hitting your skin. “i don’t want to wait anymore.” you gasp when he squeezes your waist.
“i can’t. not anymore.”
though chan’s tone is stern, there’s longing in his voice like he’s a man who’s been denied of life’s pleasures for years and frankly, you feel the same way. he didn’t have to say anything else before you’re clashing your lips into his, your hands travelling to his hair and tugging on it. chan presses his body onto yours and you’re pushed back on the door again. you whimper.
chan’s clothed torso is hot against yours and its heat travels down in between your thighs. your wetness pools in your panties and before you knew it, he’s unwrapping his arm from your waist to lift you up. your legs wrap around his torso in an instant, like the both of you have done this before. he grins into the kiss, his hands finding their way to the curve of your ass as he starts walking to his bedroom.
even with his eyes closed and his neck craned up to keep his lips on yours, chan wades smoothly through his furniture and the both of you make it up the stairs with no problem. you should have been more concerned, but knowing bang chan, he’s got you. always have and always will, that much you know. he does, however, accidentally slam you onto his bedroom door. you wince.
“sorry,” chan mumbles. “won’t happen again.”
“excited?” you tease softly. chan chuckles against your lips as he reaches out to grab the door handle.
“very.” you feel a gush of wind hit your back as the door opens. his lips are on yours again as the both of you make your way in.
he lies you down on the bed, your hair splaying all over your shoulders and on the sheets behind you. when chan pulls away, he latches himself onto the skin behind your ear and you sigh as you put your hand on the back of his head. you arch your back into him when you feel his member hardening from below you and all he could do is chuckle, though a bit shaky.
chan runs a hand down to your waist as you spread your legs open to accommodate him. “you’re already so beautiful,” he breathes on your skin, “and you aren’t even naked yet.”
your breath catches in your throat, whimpering in response. it was overwhelming enough to learn that chan finds you beautiful, but to think that he’s thought of you unclothed? you could die happy now, as cheesy as that sounds. he comes up from your neck to press a soft kiss on your jaw. his free hand trails up the side of your body, fingers playing with the zipper located on the side of the dress.
the question rings out in the room and it echoes in the confines of your mind. such a simple, harmless question, but you feel blood rush to every part of your body. your legs close around his torso, your clit starting to throb at the prospect of being undressed by the man you’ve been hopelessly in love with. you nod and chan whispers a soft ‘thank you’ as he starts unzipping your dress.
as you feel your dress start unravelling with his touch, you inhale, taking in chan’s scent. it’s a combination of mint and lemon and it’s something you’ve gotten used to after years of working with him. it’s never been anything but cologne to you, but tonight it’s ambrosial and intoxicating. you let yourself drown in it, closing your eyes as chan’s lips continue to do their wonders on your neck.
the cold air hits your skin once chan fully unzips your dress and it brings you back to his bed, in his presence, in his hold. you whimper softly in his ear. he squeezes your waist, grunting as he presses a soft kiss on your shoulder.
“i can’t believe we waited this long,” chan whispers. you giggle before slowly slipping your arms out of your now loose dress straps. you don’t break the eye contact as you tug your dress down to your chest. the dip in between your tits catches chan’s attention and he breaks the stare to shamelessly trail his eyes down.
chan licks his bottom lip before he looks back up at you.
“we don’t have to wait anymore,” you reassure, reaching a hand up to swipe your thumb over his lip, glistening and swollen.
at your words, chan’s eyes dilate and darken. the color of his cheeks turn into a shade of red and as you’re about to tease, chan tugs your dress down your chest, exposing your breasts in all of its entirety. heat travels all over your body and your nipples harden under his touch. chan dips down to your chest like the bead of sweat trickling down your back and you can only moan when his lips start sucking the skin in between your breasts.
you whimper when he cups one of your tits, kneading it softly as he continues to suck on the skin. your hand finds its way to chan’s shoulder and you grip it as he pulls away with a soft pop. chan gazes up at you before smirking, your words failing you once again when he attaches his lips beside your nipple, nipping on the skin to leave another mark.
you moan his name as your hand latches onto the back of his head, pulling him into your skin even more. his teeth graze you and you arch your back into him, only to be pushed down by his hand on your waist. he doesn’t say anything once he pulls away, only going back in to leave more marks on your chest.
as if the marks weren’t proof of who you belonged to, chan utters, “mine.” you squeeze his shoulder tighter. “all mine.”
maybe, this is why chan’s called “the Wolf”.
your mouth falls open, his name falling off of it as his lips wrap around your nipple. the hand on your waist moves back up to cup your other breast. one of chan’s fingers plays with your other nipple and your hips lifts up to meet him, your heat making contact with his member. chan groans onto your skin, the vibrations travelling back down to where you ached for him.
“you say my name so prettily, babe.” the nickname shoots you straight in the chest and your heart aches. never in a million years did you think that chan would be on you the way he was now. the thought makes you whine softly. you feel chan’s hand move away from your breast. it follows the curve of your body and it slips in between your thighs, making you spread your legs even further apart. chan chuckles breathlessly.
you shiver when he presses his fingers in the front of your panties and you bite your lip when he starts rubbing, his tongue on your nipple following the motion of his fingers below you. as most new lovers, however, chan’s missing where you needed him most and you move your hips to help him find it. chan’s off of your nipple the moment you call out above him, chest slightly heaving as he looks up at you.
“can you move—“ you pant, “to the left?”
it takes a second for him to realize, the movement of his fingers slowing to a halt as he tilts his head. he blushes softly when he does and he chuckles. “i... just—“ he complies with your needs, but he’s still not—
“oh fuck. yeah,” you cry out when he finally finds your nub. “right there, chan. right there.”
“yeah baby,” he grunts, a smirk taking over his lips after. “i feel you.”
it’s amazing how chan’s making you see stars when he’s only rubbing you through your panties. chan notices this too, pecking one of the marks he left on your chest as he hums, moving down in between your legs. he inhales softly, fingers still making circles on your clit.
“god,” he groans. “you smell so sweet.” your wetness gushes out of you and you grip the sheets beside you, biting your lip as you feel his hot breath caress your folds. chan raises his eyes and he licks his lip when your eyes lock.
“i want to taste you.”
so simple, so straightforward, yet so obscene coming from the mouth of an executive. chan grins when you breathe a ‘yes’, your back arching when he hooks a finger on the waist band of your panties, teasingly taking his time as he pulls it down your thighs. you buck your hips up and chan snickers, “okay, okay. i got it.”
he puts your panties aside before he comes back up to your torso. his clothed member is dangerously close to yours and you’re almost tempted to grind yourself onto him. “let’s get this off,” chan mumbles as he tugs on your dress. “now.”
it may be the secretary in you or it may just be the lust that’s driving you at this point, but you’re scrambling to help chan get rid of the dress that’s clinging to your body. you shiver when it’s removed fully, the dress hitting the floor with a soft thud. chan looks down at you and he lets out a long breath like he’s been holding one in. you blush and instinctively, your hands try to cover your body. he frowns as he leans back down to grab a hold of your hands.
“no,” he mumbles before pressing a kiss on your lips. “your body’s beautiful. you’re beautiful. don’t hide from me.”
chan lets go of your hands and you let them fall down to your sides. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to see you like this?” he mutters as he kisses down your torso. goosebumps form on your skin. “especially when you wear those skirts.”
your heart pounds in your chest when he settles in between your thighs, kissing them before he dips down to press a kiss on your clit. your hand goes to his hair, your core clenching at the feeling of being empty.
“oh, that’s so cliché,” chan interjects, a playful smile on his lips as he raises his head. the atmosphere in the room changes and you find yourself opening your eyes as you prop yourself up with your elbows. you raise an eyebrow as heat travels to your cheeks.
“if i got off to that nickname, i would have had a hard-on every time you called me sir.”
you roll your eyes with a huff as you lie back down on the bed. “just get on with it.”
“wow,” he laughs softly, “my secretary’s ordering me around now?”
truthfully, you loved banter with chan, but not tonight. not when he’s there, in between your thighs, purposefully ignoring the sex that’s staring him straight in the eyes. always the tease, bang chan was. you’re just not having it tonight.
“i’m not your secretary right now.”
you hear chan inhale sharply and within a second, he’s on your core like a fiend craving a shot of his drug. your hand’s on his hair again, tugging on it as you moan incoherently. he licks a stripe from your hole to your clit, the lewd sounds of his tongue lapping your wetness ringing out in the room after. your hip bucks up when he starts sucking on your clit and he puts your leg over his shoulder in the process to give him more access to your folds.
“you’re so delicious,” chan groans. “better than anything i’ve ever tasted.” you moan out brokenly, pulling him back into your clit like your life depended on it. he chuckles against it and the vibrations allow an explosion of a million fireworks inside of you. your mouth falls open the way your legs do, your moans filling the room with the sound of chan’s full lips on your pussy.
chan smirks below you, obviously pleased by the way your body is reacting to him. it’s embarrassing, but that’s what he gets for taking his precious time with you. you know he won’t let this go any time soon, but you couldn’t care less. he pecks your clit before pulling away. your clit throbs at the loss of the friction, but chan makes up for it when he plunges two of his fingers inside of you.
the intrusion is sudden, but welcome, as your back flies off of the bed with a loud cry, sitting up as you grip his shoulder. chan mewls softly as he plants a hand outside of your thigh to support himself as he leans up to crash his lips into yours. you taste your juices on him when he swipes his tongue on your bottom lip and your wetness seeps out, dripping onto the sheets below you. his fingers continue their assault on your pussy, alternatively thrusting and rubbing your walls.
chan pulls away from the kiss and a string of your combined spit attaches itself on his bottom lip. he breaks the string by licking his bottom lip and you find it unfair how chan’s lips just continue to look immaculate despite how swollen and red it is. he simpers as he rests his forehead on yours, sweat starting to form on its sides.
“do you hear yourself, baby?” he purrs. “do you hear how wet you are for me?” for him, for him, for him. all for chan, all for the man you’ve loved for years now. your hand wraps around his nape, pulling chan into your shoulder as he continues to thrust into your heat. he groans as he bites down on the skin, the sound of your slick overpowering anything else in the bedroom. you feel the familiar coil starting to form in your lower regions.
your cunt clenches around his fingers when he curls them and your hips start to gyrate. “y/n,” chan moans, “you’re getting so tight.” you whimper his name as your wetness coats his fingers even more, the sound and the smell of your sex getting more and more prominent as the coil in your stomach threatens to unravel for chan.
“cum for me, baby,” he growls. “cum.”
chan wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into him as ecstasy takes over the entirety of your body. you shake and tremble in his hold as he whispers sweet nothings and praises in your ear. his fingers slow to help you ride out your orgasm and he hums as your legs continue to shiver at his sides. he thrusts his fingers in once, twice, before he pulls them out, pulling away from the embrace to lick his fingers clean. he groans in delight.
you’re panting as you push chan onto the bed, getting on top of him before pressing your swollen lips onto his. naturally, his hands fall onto your hips as your lips move in sync. you run your hand down his clothed chest, the satin feeling supple against your fingertips. your desire, fuelled by the adrenaline surging through your veins, makes you whimper as you pop open the remaining buttons of chan’s polo.
every pop is significant to the way the both of you are letting yourselves go, baring your bodies and souls to each other after years of not being able to, after years of merely hoping. your heart pounds as you rip open chan’s polo, sighing as his torso shines underneath the light streaming inside the bedroom. chan pulls you back into his lips with a gentle hand on the back of your neck.
chan’s lips are soft on yours and you let yourself get carried away as you cup his face. chan hums as he sits up to remove his polo, lips not moving away from yours. he throbs in between your thighs and you gasp. chan takes this opportunity to slip his tongue to connect with yours and the both of you create a new language in the process.
“you’re so beautiful, y/n,” he whines as the both of you pull away. “you’ve always been so beautiful.”
you blush, your hand caressing his cheek gently as you utter a soft ‘thank you’. you share one more quick kiss before your hand moves down his torso to start unbuckling his pants. “let me return the favor.”
“no,” chan answers, reaching down to hold your wrist. “you don’t need to.”
he tightens his hold on your wrist as he pleads softly, “please. you always take care of me, y/n.” he leans up to mutter on your lips, “let me do that for you tonight.”
you weren’t strong enough to refuse the offer and you let chan raise you up from his lap, only to be lied down on the bed once more. you relax into the mattress as chan positions himself in between your legs. as he unbuckles his belt, your mind travels to the moment in the car and you can’t help but wonder—
“you meant what you said earlier, right?”
chan’s eyes are on you immediately as he hears your voice, his hands stopping. “of course, i did.”
“you didn’t just say that to get in my pants?”
chan bites his lip to suppress a laugh and he shakes his head as his hands resume their task earlier. “no,” he giggles. “if that was my plan the whole time, i would have just said ‘hey, i’m bang chan’ and your pants would have slid right off.”
you throw your head back onto the pillows as you laugh softly. “that didn’t happen when you interviewed me.”
“yeah, well,” chan mumbles, sliding out of his pants, “it’s happening now.”
“8 years after, but okay.”
“it’s still happening, so my point still stands,” chan shrugs, chuckling when he sees you cross your arms in front of your chest. “i’m sorry,” he laughs as he leans down to kiss you. “i’m kidding.”
“you’re so full of yourself, babe,” you tease.
your smile disappears when chan’s cock springs out of his boxers, thick and hard, with the tip red and glistening as pre-cum leaks out of it. the base is adorned with his veins, prominent enough to show up in the darkness. his cock twitches and your mouth opens, salivating at the sight of him.
when you look back up, you let your eyes take in chan and you marvel at him, basking in the presence of a man whose body looks like it has been sculpted by the Gods up above. shoulders broad, muscles defined, your core throbs and tightens at the promise of getting to have him tonight.
it was here that you understood that you didn’t need to be swept off of your feet or be brought to anywhere else fancy when bang chan, in all of his glory, is no place you’ve ever been to. you’re more than willing to get to know him tonight and let him take you where he pleased.
“you’re about to be full of me in a second,” he jokes, smirking. his cheeks turn pink and you try your best to ignore the fondness brewing in your stomach. despite putting on his confident facade, you know chan is as nervous as you are. “lie back.”
you rest your back on the sheets below you, your legs opening to welcome chan in between them for the second time tonight. the feeling of his hands on the side of your body awakens something feral in you and before you can process the reaction, you buck your hips up onto him, your wet core brushing his hard cock. he groans as he pulls away, spitting on his palm before smearing it all over his member. you lick your lip before reaching up to hold his nape once more.
“ready?” he asks as he pumps himself, lining himself up in front of your core.
you feel as if you’re walking a tightrope when he asks you the question. one misstep and you’re falling into everything that encapsulated him, into everything that was bang chan. were you ready to let go and let him overwhelm you? after 8 long years, you finally let your foot slip and the next thing you know, you’re looking back up at chan, hand squeezing his shoulder as you say,
“ready as i’ll ever be, baby.”
it’s as if the gates of heaven opened when chan pushes himself in you, the both of your moans creating a melodic symphony that echoes in the bedroom. his girth parts your walls and the feeling burns ever so slightly. you whimper as you bite your lip, throwing your head back onto the pillows. a comforting hand rests on your waist as he stops at his thickest.
“you’re so big,” you choke out. he hums as he leans down to bury his face in your neck to smile against it. chan presses a soft kiss on your skin as he bottoms out, groaning softly when your cunt clenches around him. you put a hand on his back, pressing his skin as he pulls out fully. he pushes back in roughly, the sound of his balls hitting your skin echoing in the whole room. you claw at his back as you arch yours, gasping, and he grunts softly.
chan starts thrusting, his skin grinding against your swollen nub. “your pussy’s so tight, babe,” he moans. you sigh in response as your legs wrap around his torso, pushing him in you even deeper. you needed him, you wanted him, and you’re here to make sure you get to experience bang chan in ways you’ve never experienced him. it doesn’t matter how many he’s had before you. what matters is that he’s in you now, thrusting his cock and taking you to heaven.
“you’re so good,” you praise, voice cracking as a whine comes out. “you’re so good to me.”
“yeah?” chan breathes, a smug smile forming on his lips. his chest heaves as he continues to ram into you. his skin is hot against yours and you drown in the feeling and in his scent. “you’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?” you whine in response. “such a dirty mind for a refined secretary. ”
chan bites down on your shoulder before slowing his thrusts, raising his head from your neck. “turn around.”
it doesn’t register quickly, but once it does, you’re off of his cock to get on fours, planting your hands on the soft mattress and arching your back to expose yourself to chan. he groans behind you, hovering over you as he puts a hand on the headboard in front of you.
“tell me what you want,” chan whispers, pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder.
“baby, please,” you cry. “you know.”
chan snickers, pushing only the tip of his cock in. “i need to hear you say it.”
“tell me, baby. tell me what you want.”
“your cock, chan. please, i want it. i need it. i want to feel you inside me, please. pl—“
chan squeezes your hips before pounding his cock inside of you. you cry out his name, throwing your head back as your eyes close. you get lost in chan’s grunts, letting them wrap themselves around your body the way chan’s arm snakes around your waist. he pulls your body back into him, your back flushing against his chest. the sounds of your slick coating chan’s cock as he continues to ram into you rings in your ears and you feel your clit ache below you.
“god, baby,” chan grunts. “it’s like my cock’s made for you.”
you whine at his words, your hand making its way down to rub circles on your clit. chan growls softly, removing his hand from the headboard to hold your wrist.
“let me,” he mutters. “let me take you there.”
you weren’t about to say no.
the promise of an orgasm looms on you as chan draws rough circles on your clit. his thrusts start to syncopate from his rhythm and he pushes you back down on the bed gently. you bury your face on his soft sheets and you turn your head to the side as you moan and whine an incoherent mess of praises and curses. you grip the sheets as you spread your legs apart and your thighs start to shake as chan presses his fingers down on your clit.
“baby,” you rasp, tears forming in the corner of your eyes, “i can’t—“
chan grunts, “you want to cum for me again?”
“yes, please, please, pl—“
“gush on my cock, baby. let me feel you.”
it’s pure ecstasy when you do, letting yourself go in the pleasure of everything that was bang chan—his moans, grunts, breathing, cock, everything. you cry out into his sheets and grip them until your knuckles turn white. your legs try to close as your whole body shakes and just like the first time, chan takes you to a place you’ve never been, your vision turning blurry as he continues to pound you. your toes curl as you moan his name, like it’s the only word in your vocabulary. behind you, chan whines softly.
“where do you want me to cum?”
you don’t respond immediately, body shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm. “inside,” you pant. “give it to me.”
chan cries, “jesus, fuck.” he loses his rhythm completely as he leans over you, his sweat falling on your back. “shit, y/n, baby, i— ”
he thrusts a few more times before he grabs your hips, pulling you into him with a groan as he spills his cum, hot and sticky, inside of you. your pussy clamps down on his cock as he grinds inside you to ride his high out, his hand finding its way to the dip of your back. he pulls out after a short while and you whine at the emptiness that comes with it. you do, however, feel both of your juices seep out of you, dripping down on his bed sheets.
“what a sight,” chan mutters behind you as you let your body fall on the bed. you giggle softly as you close your legs, the high wearing down as your body starts to feel heavy. you have a feeling you’d be sore tomorrow, but the both of you weren’t expecting many to come into work, anyway. so, you’ll end up getting away with it. for now. the bed dips beside you and chan pulls you into him, your back against his chest.
for a moment, you listen to his breathing and focus on the way his fingers lied on your stomach. your eyes start to grow heavy, but you hear chan whisper, “are you okay?”
“i am,” you respond softly, turning around to face him. once your eyes meet, chan smiles as he tucks a hair strand on the back of your ear. his hair is disheveled and wet with sweat, but still, chan looked as well put together as he always does. you lean up to kiss him, your lips moving slowly on each other. when you pull away, chan’s eyes are twinkling and he lets out a soft hum of satisfaction.
“so,” you mumble, playfully tapping his bottom lip, “are we still going to work tonight?”
chan groans, throwing his head back with a chuckle. “it can wait.”
“no. it can’t,” you tease, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. chan’s arms around your waist tighten as he pulls you closer.
“don’t use my words against me,” chan grins. he places his hand on the back of your head, lightly stroking your hair. your eyes grow heavy and the next thing you know, you’re wavering in between falling asleep and staying awake.
you do hear chan’s voice in the midst of all of this, a soft and gentle, “hey, i love you.” you feel him kiss your forehead before you blissfully fall into oblivion.
you wake up when chan’s bedroom door bursts open, the door handle hitting the wall.
you raise your head, squinting as you watch chan come in with a tray of food. the aroma hits your nose immediately and your stomach growls softly. he gives you a quick, apologetic smile as he puts the tray down at the edge of the bed.
“good morning,” he greets, running a hand through his hair. he sits down beside the tray and he grins. your eyes travel down his figure, the black formal polo from last night is on his torso again, paired with the boxers, you could only assume, he was wearing last night.
friday, a new work day for the two of you. “good morning to you too, sir,” you mumble before rubbing your eyes. your chest stings from all of the marks from last night and you wince. chan lets out a soft hum, reaching out to hold your hand in his.
“did you sleep well?”
“yeah. thanks to you,” you tease. chan runs his thumb on your palm, inhaling as he looks up at you, cheeks pink.
a comfortable silence falls in the room as the both of you sit in each other’s company. it was overwhelming enough that you woke up in chan’s bed, but now he’s cooked you breakfast, plated it, and put it on a tray to bring to you. it didn’t even occur to you that he knew how to cook. you smile to yourself as you realize— you didn’t know everything about him yet. you part your lips to speak, but you didn’t notice chan doing the same.
“oh, you go firs—“
“no, you can—“
the two of you huff simultaneously, laughing at each other. “you go first,” you giggle. chan nods, coughing into his fist with a smile.
“about last night,” he starts, “i hope i didn’t hurt you too much.”
you look down at your chest playfully as you shrug. “it’s no big deal,” you hum. “i enjoyed it.” chan chuckles in response. he watches as you reach over to the plate, letting go of his hand as you bring the plate to your lap. “did you enjoy?” you question.
“yeah, of course,” chan responds immediately. “what’s not to enjoy? i mean, you were spectacular.”
“i could say the same to you, mister ‘no, i can’t wait anymore’.” you joke. chan’s cheeks flush as he scratches the back of his head sheepishly. you dig in your breakfast as chan does the same, the both of you eating in silence. you rest your back on the headboard and you watch chan. his hair is made already and he looks like he’s ready to start the work day. you bite your lip as you look down, your body merely being covered by the duvet. suddenly, memories of last night flood your mind and you sigh softly.
chan catches it immediately.
“where does this lead us?” you ask, putting down your utensils. “you know, this—“ you motion between the two of you—“whatever this is.” you didn’t know what answer you’re waiting for, but you hope it’s positive.
chan thinks for a moment and the silence is deafening. he puts his hand on your thigh, putting down his plate beside him. “we can tell the office that we’re dating or...” he trails off, looking up at the ceiling, “we can keep this between us for now.”
your eyes widen, coughing as you struggle to come up with an answer. you and chan were together now? chan mentioned the word already, right? his eyes grow worried and he comes over to stroke your back. “did i say something wrong?”
“no, god, no, i just didn’t expect—“
“that i liked you back?” chan furrows his eyebrows. “i think last night was proof enough, baby.”
you blush, covering your face in your hands. chan chuckles softly as he leans over to move your hands away. “we can figure it out as we go,” he hums. “you don’t need to give me an answer right now, okay?”
you nod, your mind in shambles. your breath hitches as chan presses a kiss on your wrist. he looks up at you, “once we’re done eating, we can start the day.” you blink at him and he merely laughs.
“are you even ready for today?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, a smile on his lips.
the question hits you in many different ways, your mind travelling back to the last words you heard from him last night. are you ready to finally be with chan after all these years? you scan his face, taking him in as his smile reaches his eyes. chan looked beautiful and you know you wouldn’t be anywhere else, wouldn’t be with anyone else because all you needed is in front of you and he always has been. both of you were just too stupid to admit it to yourselves.
you straighten your back, clear your throat, throw your disheveled hair behind your shoulder, and smile at him.
I’m editing a story that a poly relationship with Bang Chan x f.reader and I need another boy for this story. It’s got fluff, smut and a pinch of angst. Which boy would ya’ll he interested in reading in this. I’m torn between Lee Know, Hyunjin, Changbin or Jisung.
nothing serious i was just bored but MATURE THEMES = 18+
accidentally put castaways on the sex playlist.
(do i need to elaborate)
he was going so hard with all his might
until he got a cramp
he’s fucking you against the cupboard
yes, there’s some suspicious sounds of cracking and creaking
but both of you were too high and horny to think about it
and a moment of silence for the cupboard door everyone.
it breaks and you are pushed into the cupboard, changbin on top of you as both of you try to grasp what the fuck just happened.
you yanked his hair too hard
and some strands of his dried crispy blonde snaps just like that
leaving you with a small bunch of his hair in your hands
0/1000 never again.
it’s been awhile since you got to meet jisung in person
and you have just noticed how much gains his arm has had
you’re gawking over it and he suddenly picks you up bridal style, walking to the room
“i’ll show you what i can do with this arms baby-”
his foot is interrupted by the leg of the bed as he stubs his toe against it
and both of you fall onto the bed with a thud and the loudest scream
the mood is the most vanilla thing that could possibly happen
he’s slowly thrusting into you, pecking soft fluttery kisses onto your lips
until you accidentally graze on his ticklish sides with your foot as you wrapped your legs around him
and his weight falls flat onto you, arms that once supported his weight gives into the sudden tickle.
the two of you end up laughing for a good 3 minutes before continuing
gave you a judgmental look because he thought you farted
turns out he never knew what queefs were.
his phone just wouldn’t shut up, the annoying ring tone ripping though the heated atmosphere.
it was his mom, again and again
the both of you gave up trying to ignore it
he finally picks up the call to find out she just wanted to know why the fuck his brother wasn’t attending extra classes again.
a/n: will not be writing for the next few weeks because of finals but i’m practically addicted to this app and slightly fomo so i’m still pretty active <3… but not as much! i was half crying when castaways suddenly played as i was doing this.
Stray Kids Reaction || Waking You Up With Oral [M] [Request]
A/N: EVERYTHING MENTIONED WITHIN THIS POST IS CONSENSUAL BETWEEN THE TWO.
Chan was always late home and you always forgave him so easily for it but it didn't mean he forgave himself. He knew there must have been something inside of you that hated him for not being there when you went to bed, but all you cared about was him being there when you woke up. That morning Chan looked at you asleep on his side of the bed. It was almost 8 am which meant you'd be getting up soon but he wanted to wake you up with a surprise so he laid himself down between your legs, smirking when he saw you wearing nothing but his black silk shirt.
Just like that he began to tease you slowly, the two of you had talked about waking each other like this before and it wasn't the first time it had happened. Slowly he began to tease your clit, watching you as your body shifted in your sleep, not quite feeling the effects of his touches yet.
"So wet, what have you been dreaming about?" He chuckled to himself as he began to apply a little more pressure to your bud, biting down on his lip as he heard a moan fall from your perfect lips.
Licking a long stripe from your opening to your clit he smirked as you let out a louder moan, beginning to come back to reality as he pushed his tongue into you, holding your hips as he began to eat you out hungrily as if you were his only meal.
"Oh shit!" You screamed out as you finally realised what was happening, his tongue pumping in and out of you, lapping you up as you cried out his name.
"H-Holy shit," You cried out running your hands into his hair and tugging on the strands as he continued to aggressively eat you out, locking his eyes with yours.
"Ride my tongue," He smirked at you as you shook your head, tension building up as he continued with his movements,
"I-I can't," You whimpered pushing your hips into the bed but he growled against you, as he continued.
"Do it," Your head rolled back as everything began to gain in intensity, it felt as though lava was flowing through your blood and you were about to erupt.
"That's it," He chuckled darkly as you began to rock your hips against his tongue as the tension curled up inside of you.
"Chan!" You cried out as the tension snapped, it was like lightning in your veins, you released onto his tongue crying out his name as he continued to work you until you came down from your high.
"Morning babe," He chuckled laying down in the bed beside you but you kissed him hungrily as you straddled his lap desperate for more from him.
(His smile literally makes me melt)
Attaching himself to your clit Minho smirked as he enjoyed the way your hips jolted in your sleep. Your body moving like instinct against his tongue as he rubbed your clit in small fast circles. Whining out his name as you rocked your hips back and forth.
"M-Minho," You moaned out in your sleep thinking that all of the pleasure you were feeling was a part of a dream. Minho growled as he sunk his tongue into you, he didn't want his hard work to be associated with a dream, your eyes shot open as he swirled his tongue inside of you. Your eyes locked with his as he chuckled sending vibrations through you that made you feel as though you could cum right there. He slowed eased two fingers into you while his tongue worked on your clit, he pushed your legs down against the bed as you tried to clamp them together.
"Holy fucking shit," You cried out as he continued to eat you out and pound his fingers into you, curling them so he could reach that one spot that made your body feel as though it was on fire.
"Cum." He ordered as he continued to pump his fingers relentlessly in and out of you, biting down softly on your clit as you cried out his name.
"M-Minho," You breathed as your orgasm washed over you, your walls contracting around his fingers as you moaned out his name. Hips and legs bucking as you shook around him.
"Good girl," He whispered as he cleaned you up with his tongue, staring at you as he licked his fingers clean.
Changbin looked up when he heard you whimpering, his lips were attached to your clit as he used his fingers and tongue to go down on you. He'd woken up in the middle of the night to you grinding against him in your sleep, you'd clearly been having a good dream and it was. You'd dreamt of Changbin pounding into you ruthlessly the way he always did.
"Changbin," You let out a breathy moan as you slowly came to from your dream not realising what was happening yet.
Eyes snapping open as you could feel a tightness growing in your stomach, it felt as though every inch of your body was on fire. Your toes curled as you could feel yourself getting closer to a release, you had no idea how long Changbin had been doing this to you but you weren't complaining.
"O-Oh fuck," You moaned out rolling your head back as your back arched away from the mattress. Changbin looked up at you with a smirk, humming against your clit making everything feel ten times more pleasurable as you run your fingers through his hair.
"Morning," He hummed as he eased two fingers into you letting out a hum of approval at how tight you were around his fingers.
"F-Fuck!" You screamed out as he continued to suck on your clit, letting occasional hums of pleasure escape his lips causing vibrations to run through your body.
He locked eyes with you as he curled his fingers into you, his tongue working its magic on you
"C-Close," You warned him as your hips began to jerk, you could feel the tightness growing again as you moaned out his name loudly.
With a cry of his name you came on his fingers and tongue, head was thrown back against the pillows as he continued to work his fingers in and out f you, cleaning you up before coming up for air. His chin was shimmering in the light and you could feel yourself heating up with embarrassment that you had woken up like that.
"Morning gorgeous," He chuckled as you laid there panting to yourself and staring at him.
"You sounded like you were having a nice dream, I couldn't let it go to waste," You whimpered before kissing him deeply not caring that you could taste yourself on his lips.
It always took forever for you to wake up in the morning but today you had to be awake early. Hyunjin had done everything in his power to get you to wake up but nothing was working.
"Fine, you wanna be like that." He chuckled as he began kissing up and down your legs as he watched you turn in your sleep. He carefully spread your legs watching you to see if you had woken up yet but it normally took a bucket of water to get you up.
"Come on princess," He chuckled as he ran one of his fingers through your folds, smirking to himself when he noticed how wet you were.
"Such a dirty girl," He laughed attaching his lips to your clit instantly as he ate you out, humming against your core at the taste of you.
Your eyes fluttered open and you looked down at him as he continued to push his tongue in and out of you, biting down on the outer part of your labia making you cry out.
"H-Hyunjin?" You moaned out as you watched him, he pushed a finger into you pumping as he pulled his mouth away from you to answer.
"Is this what it takes to wake you up angel? If so, I have no problems with that at all." He hummed attaching himself to your clit as your eyes rolled back, your body felt as though it had static running through it as you moaned out. The intensity of only waking up and being sore from the night before bringing you closer to the edge as he continued his rough and fast-paced movements.
"O-Oh fuck Hyunjin," You cried out as he wrapped your legs around his shoulders dragging you closer to him.
"Hmm?" He arched an eyebrow at you to see what it was you wanted but your eyes were screwed shut as you moaned out his name, hands digging into the sheets of the bed as you rocked your hips against his tongue.
"R-Right there!" You moaned out as he continued to hit into you with his tongue making you clench around him as you pushed him closer to your core.
"S-Shit! Shit!" You screamed out as you came around his tongue, your head spinning as you held onto his hair.
"Get changed, we're going to be late," He ordered as he got up from the floor, going into the bathroom with you quickly following him and dragging him into the shower.
(Not my gif. Miss him more and more everyday)
Jisung didn't care that the boys were home, he wanted to return the favour you had paid him the week before. Waking him up with a blow job was one of the best ways to wake up and he wanted to wake you up by eating you out.
"J-Jisung?" You whimpered as you looked under the covers to see Jisung eating you out, he'd been doing it for the last two minutes to see how long it would take you to wake up. Your lips parted as you almost moaned out his name but he reached his hand up to shut you up.
"Wouldn't want to wake up Jeongin would you," He chuckled as he continued to run his tongue through your folds, using his free hand to pump two fingers in and out of you. You bit down on his hand to stop yourself moaning out loudly, as Jisung got rougher with you. Chan had already told both of you off for being active while everyone was home and it had been the most embarrassing thing to happen to you.
"J-Jisung if t-they hear me." You whispered as you could feel yourself getting closer to your release as the coil kept tightening. You grabbed a pillow muffling your moans into it as your back arched,
"Don't hold it off. Cum. Now." He ordered as he got rougher with you and as if you were controlled by his command you came onto his fingers, moaning out his name into the pillow as the bunk bed squeaked.
"I thought Chan said not to do that when we're home," You groaned slapping Jisung on the chest as Jeongin woke up and complained about what he had heard.
Walking in late from the studio Felix found you asleep on your sofa, legs over the arm of the sofa as you slept in one of his shirts and nothing else. Your legs were spread a little and he could see how wet you were, discarded beside you were one of your toys you had clearly been using that night despite him telling you not to. He was the only one that was allowed to make you cum and not some dumb piece of plastic that couldn't do half of the job that he could.
Attaching himself to your clit he began sucking softly, pumping two fingers into you and smirking as your body reacted to him while being asleep. Your legs spread wider, your back arched a little as you whimpered out.
"Dirty girl pleasuring yourself," He growled as you woke up and looked at him, a whimper left your lips as you gave him a worried look.
"I-I was needy," You pleaded with him as he continued to pump two fingers in and out of you slowly curling them up to hit your spot as you bucked your hips.
"Then you will cum again...and again...and again until you're all worn out," He chuckled darkly as he continued to push his fingers into you a little faster this time. Your legs began to shake as you reached the edge, crying out his name as you squirmed.
"Fucking cum." He growled at you in his deep voice making your eyes screwed shut as your orgasm ripped through you but his fingers never stilled, he only got faster. You were going to have a long night.
(please don’t touch me im soft)
Seungmin felt bad about the night before when you were both interrupted, he thought he had the dorms to himself for the night but everyone came home early leaving you without your release leading to a cold shower. Licking his lips Seungmin began kissing down your body as you laid there, smiling as he felt you shift in your sleep giving him access to your core. He chuckled as he saw how wet you were, your juices glistening in the low light as he ran his finger through your folds, you let out a moan as you slept.
"S-Seungmin," You whined out as he began to drag his tongue through your folds, starting with small licks before turning to the big ones. Holding your hips steady as he ate you out while you slept, small whimpers leaving your lips as he continued to eat you out.
"Hmm, you're close and I haven't even started," He chuckled as he got faster with you, locking eyes with you as you woke up with his tongue buried deep inside of you flicking around as you cried out. Slapping your hands over your mouth in case the boys were home,
"No one is here," He smirked as your back arched away from the bed, your orgasm building up inside of you as you let out a loud moan of his name.
"You wanna cum baby?"
"I need it!" You cried out as he continued to rub circles on your clit, pumping two fingers into you as you cried out his name. Desperate to cum from the night before as he continued to pump.
"Then you better cum before I stop then haven't you?" You cried out as you nodded your head desperately, he attached his mouth to your clit as you whimpered. The coil tightening until it snapped, your legs shaking as you wrapped them around his body, pushing him closer to you as you screamed out his name,
"Oh fuck," You panted as he came back up to your lips, kissing you softly as he thrust into you, desperate from the night before just as you had been.
Smirking to himself Jeongin watched as you slept peacefully in your bed, dressed in one of his shirts and not much else besides underwear he chuckled softly. The other night he'd heard you talking over the phone with one of your friends about something she had been doing with her boyfriend. He'd randomly woken her up one morning with Oral and you expressed how badly you wanted to try it but didn't know how to explain it to Jeongin but now you didn't have to. Slowly and carefully he removed the covers from around your body before kissing up and down your thighs as he would if you had been awake, he watched you squirm a little in your sleep before continuing.
Licking small stripes against your core he smirked as you made a small whine in your sleep, reality slowly starting to seep into your dreams as you rolled your head back.
"That's it, baby, wake up." He mumbled against your clit sending vibrations through your body, he idly drew one finger over your clit in light, playful strokes that made your legs shake as you finally began to wake up. A little hazy from the sleep but as soon as Jeongin saw your eyes open he sank a finger into you making your head kick back against the pillows,
"So fucking beautiful," He chuckled as he watched you closely breathy moans escaping you as he began pulling his finger out of you until he was almost free of your body and then inching it back into you, making you cry out.
"Such pretty little moans," He chuckled licking your clit softly as he added another finger, angling his hand so his thumb took over where his tongue had been.
"Innie!" You cried out as he continued to pump his fingers into you, using his tongue to drive you closer to the edge. The sensations were maddening as you could feel yourself getting closer, rocking your hips a little so you could ride his tongue and fingers.
"S-Shit, Y/n-" Jeongin moaned out as you pushed your hand into his hair holding him closer to your core as you could feel the tightening happening. Everything inside of you was on fire as your body unravelled, releasing on his tongue and fingers as you cried out his name.
He slowly pulled away from you and smirked as he saw you panting heavily,
"That wasn't supposed to happen," He mumbled looking down at the shorts he was wearing, that was when you noticed the damp fabric, his cheeks were coloured as he looked back at you.
"Y-You came?" You giggled softly watching as he continued blushing, getting up to change into some clean shorts and get something to clean you up with.
⤖ a/n: this drabble was written based on requests I have received! I am still accepting other requests like this one as well as mtls, if you’d like to suggest something for me to write let me know here♡
~ nsfw under the cut ~
chan always shows that he’s in the mood by leaving touches that linger behind. each kiss would last a little longer than usual and his fingertips would never leave the surface of your skin until you know just what he wants. a satisfied smile sits perfectly on his lips as he watches you get worked up from his small movements, just the way he likes it.
minho clenches his jaw, showing off his perfect jawline with small veins protruding on his neck. his eyes visibly darken, drinking in each of your features with such fervor while he sizes you up. he isn't able to keep his hands off of you for very long, always finding his hand gripped to your thigh and inching its way upwards with each heated kiss placed to your lips.
you can tell when changbin is in the mood by just the look in his eye. his gaze noticeably darkens and you can feel the sexual tension radiates off his muscular frame. his body language turns into a series of fidgets and adjustments, the physical sensations from his growing need for you taking control of his movements.
its clear when hyunjin is needer than usual by the tone of his voice. the pitch of his voice deepens and the last syllable in each of his words always ends in a whine. the adams apple in his throat bobs with each harsh swallow that slowly trails down his neck.
jisung often pouts when he’s needy for your touch, his frame shrinking closer into your body as his face buries in your neck. he’d rather mumble about how badly he wants you into your ear than look you right in the eye and say so; only for him to pull away and laugh at how flustered you’ve become from his filthy words.
felix isn’t always good at communicating what he needs, so he would keep making small advances until you take notice. it starts with innocent kissing, leading to more tender touches. the build up is the most important part for him, worshipping over ever new inch of skin that becomes exposed as you lead up to the act.
seungmin becomes very tense when he’s in the mood. he may not come out and say it to you, but the frustration evident on his face makes it easy to tell. his fists grip into small fists and each of his movements become more rash. but as soon as your hands find him he instantly relaxes, knowing how good you always manage to make him feel.
jeongin needs to feel your touch when he's in the mood, doing anything he can to feel the contact of his skin on yours. whether its drawing small circles on your arm with his fingertips or snaking his arm up your shirt, you know he’s needy when he’s more touchy than usual.
this work is copyright 2021 @sungiest, all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or rewrite on any platform without permission.